#rlmblr? hold it right there.

[99probalos]

told my therapist about rlmblr yesterday. this is the biggest secret about myself that ive divulged to him

[nowwithgaypheromones]

I don't really watch their Star Trek and Star Wars related videos unless it's something really special, and according to their Patreon, Star Trek is basically all that's coming up soon. That plus the fact that their last few videos had the guest I wanted to kill means I'll probably end up just like not watching anything from them for a combined two months or something. At this point I'm gonna start discourse again just to entertain myself over that time. Offering everyone the exclusive opportunity to start discourse on anon in my askbox (or you could just ask a normal question I guess)

[nowwithgaypheromones]

The average rlmblr blogger, they will call themselves a Mikegirl or a Jaygirl; they will insist to know their favorite RLMember well, save countless little screenshots and clips to giggle at, and most likely they will even believe themselves that they are true enthusiasts. But do not be fooled by appearances; they will be presented with a situation most specific, a matter most delicate, and they will not even wait a single second to consider it. No, they will say "I want to have sex with Mike the most", or "Jay and I are so similar", and they will blindly click or tap the name of their favorite as though this knee jerk reaction had even the slightest relation to the question at hand. These "favorites" of theirs are not real people with unique personalities and interests, but mere sex objects; walking cocks and holes to fill and be filled. And of course, I would never deny people the ability to objectify old men; it is a God-given right, a need as important as air to breathe or water to drink. But the objectificator has to be self-aware, or else they are merely delusional. They turn from a wise pontificator of old man sexiness into a fool who naively projects an idealised romantic fantasy onto two mildly-to-moderately misogynistic Midwestern men and is not even aware they are doing it.

Of course, anyone can, with enough time, come up with some sort of contrived reasoning for why Mike and Jay would be ideal choices anyway. But first and third place each? I want you to look at these two men, two extraordinarily repressed individuals from the cold Midwest, and I ask you: Do you earnestly, with all your heart, believe that divaing out to Cher's "Believe" is something you could ever get either Mike or Jay to consider to do for even a moment, and if you somehow did, that they would be earnestly the most fun out of all of them? Not only that, but do you believe this to be so blindingly obvious that they deserve such high placements? And I want you to think about the real Mike and Jay, and not their fantasy versions; their strange doppelgangers you can read about on AO3, who hold all the same opinions you do and can give you three earth-shattering orgasms per minute.

The fact that we have let these results get this far is a disgrace, a tragedy that reflects poorly on the entire rlmblr community. But it is not too late to change it yet. The power is still in our hands to become better, wiser people. And so, in the end, I ask merely for one thing:

Vote Jack.