#toxic perfectionist

[glitchyko]

Alright, so I feel like I need to say something about this since it has been on my mind for a long while and I want to address it.

I want to say I’m sorry for the times when I said I want/will draw something and then just never doing it. I feel bad for setting something up only to never fulfill it. I feel like I’m a liar and I’m just lazy, that I let myself down and failed, even though I know there’s circumstances in my life that make it difficult to do some of the things I wish to do. Things such as ADHD, school, mental health, and other things going on in my life. But I’ve been trying to get better at managing my time, getting things done faster, be more productive, and keep working on my art and perfectionism issues.

I want to do better, I want to actually be able to do and show the stories, aus, ocs, etc, that I constantly say that I think about and want to share with you guys. I want to become better as an artist and writer, and I don’t want to keep being scared to do things I want to do because of perfectionism to a point where I just can’t do anything out of fear of it looking bad and not meeting my unrealistically high standards.

I’m not completely sure where I’m going with this vent talk to be honest, I know I can’t guarantee changes and such immediately, and I don’t want to force myself to work on art stuff just to pump something out on social media as quickly as possible. That is not why I create, and to be honest that sounds like a recipe for burnout, more confidence issues, and not having fun with art anymore. I think what I’m trying to say is, I’m going to try to do things instead of just saying and thinking I want to do something and never doing it.

[lotus-pear]

what do you call this specific flavor of dynamic

[uncanny-tranny]

Yet another crochet and knit hack: the patterns are a mild suggestion. You can do what you want forever, you have free will 💛💛💛

[whump-queen]

《 scan the barcode at your own risk 》

fuckit it’s taglist time: @whumpshaped  @whumpsday @emmettnet @a-whump-sideblog  @whump-it-like-its-hot @wolfeyedwitch  @whumper-soot  @unorganisedalienrubbish  @kira-the-whump-enthusiast  @hidden-dreamland @whumpedydump @lonesome--hunter @ashh-ed @whump-in-the-closet @oriantthegiant @banditosong @anonymustyou @feralwhump @jieunie-23 @whumpasaurus101 @morning-star-whump @whmp @captain-bo-bob-bobby @the-beasts-have-arrived @spooky-scary-vampires @burningkittypoet @veyroswin @painsandconfusion @skittles-the-whumpee

[socksandbuttons]

oh i read this fanfiction!

[dayurno]

i can’t cope with myself watching the bear because i’m always stumbling on the terrible certainty that carmen berzatto is not only kevin’s type but would probably be the man kevin drops everything for

[girl-that-wants-to-die]

[gods-favorite-autistic]

I take a small bit of pride in the idea that tiny me would be just a bit horrified by me now

[aedesluminis]

In 1785, a young 22 years old Prieur-Duvernois was tasked by his cher maître (Guyton) to do some experiment to prove the expansion coefficient of some gases. As far as I understood, he failed because the recipient of the substance wasn't dry enough: some extremely tiny droplets of water were enough to compromise his measurements.

In 2018, a young 19 years old Aedes and her peers were tasked the same by our lab teacher. We failed compared to the other groups which managed to do it surprisingly well and I remember I felt extremely bad and stupid because I couldn't even figure out what the problem was. Later we discovered that our machinery was the issue: one of the tubes that linked the gas recipient with the thermometer was broken, making the wet air (it was winter) of the room mix with the gas. :' )

[calltoamentor]

Cada Dia, Or the Ways Loving Makes You Learn

How can love and support be triggering? When you come from a toxic family system, it takes a lot of time and energy to unlearn the survival methods that kept you "safe" but also kept you in that space in some form. Unlearning that is a daily process.

Daily writing promptWhat was the last thing you searched for online? Why were you looking for it?View all responses Not sure if this prompt was hoping for something juicer, but my most recent search is more fluffy than juicy. Or at least, the intent behind it is.I wanted to know how to express to my Long Distance Partner on his visit that I was thinking of him each day while continuing to show…

[zzencat]

Your Future Spouse As A Mythical Creature + Qualities - ⏳

Welcome to the spooky season folks!! Thought this would be a pretty lightweight and goofy type of reading as we settle in. What are your FS’s qualities? Toxic habits?

Choose wisely. Applicable to future lover or spouse.

Warnings: super long read, suggestive comments (bordering NSFW), some exaggerated details for the fun of it (but the theme and characteristics are still consistent otherwise), toxic tendencies

🥀 THE RITUAL: Clear your mind. Time is now patient and still. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, fill your chest up to the fullest, feel the soft air brush up against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out.

———————————————————————

Pile 1 | The Werewolf

Perfectionistic as hell, likely a planner

The horniness comes and stays fellas…

Extremely careful before decision making, yet impatient (more mentally)

Hides what they really feel. Has a hard time expressing their emotions through words, so your person (well, half-person) shows you instead

Might be wealthy or does very well w/ business or business partners

ALWAYS thinks before they act

very PRIMAL tendencies; will bust major nuts when persuading you to be bred…literally. the need to breed you can become suffocating as it seeps into small actions of daily life. will never stop bugging you about it. eventually, these efforts will increase and become more desperate (but hey, if you like that, go for it 😳)

^^the thought of having a family with you gets them down real bad

EXTREMELY overprotective and possessive over how revealing your clothes might be. don’t be surprised if they finally let you out of the house after you choose to wear a hazmat suit

• will do anything for you!!!! provide food, shelter, money… as long as you depend on them, they feel at their highest.

•^^ this can also indicate an incessant need for control and control over you as well

• typically chooses the safe route; sticks to routes they’re already familiar with and practicality

•^^polite with people or at least acts like a civil person, but is easily misjudged regardless

• kind of old school and can be boring; follows reserved traditions very well

• actually is a beast in the sheets, but prob only does vanilla positions

• is very, very hesitant about letting you go out at night and will bust balls to get you to stay inside

• can get overly paranoid over small things that can potentially harm you

slow, sensual, deep lovemaking sometimes—rough and wild, sloppy and fast at others—just totally unable to control themselves. this is bc they exercise so much control during the day that nights leading up to the full moon, or on the night of, are relentless. Also likes doin’ the dirty in the kitchen (i also see boiling soup and an apron if those have any significance)

grumpy in the morning hahaha. grumpy when you order them to do anything for you, but they’ll do it anyway

When they love, they LOVE. Extremely big hearts and easily empathetic, but never/rarely shows it

for some reason, your fs has a solution or piece of advice for every problem in existence

strong or bold looking, big and broad, intimidating, or a very tall person. might have a resting bitch face

a very good listener

• full moons are equivalent to menstrual cycles where their senses are heightened by tenfold, sensitive to everything in their surroundings (ex: ears perk up to sounds as unnoticeable as leaves rustling…), more emotionally reactive, a ceaseless desire for sex everyday—which gets worse as the full moon approaches 🙈—hastier movements, increased moodiness and appetite, goes out hunting more often. 50/50 have a messier diet or a more strict one

• structured or routined day to day

• has probably talked/will probably talk about raising a family with you at least once, becoming more adamant about it over time

• can seem very insensitive or come off as an asshole at times

• EXTREMELY observant; almost nothing gets past their eyes. It’s almost like an intense OCD thing. Pretty sure a lot of FS in this pile are control freaks or have very specific triggers

• can smell when you’re aroused. if you deal with periods, they know exactly what phase you’re in and keep track of monthly cycles. this is also how they can keep an eye on your fertility and “breedability” levels. likely to show clinginess during these times and try to make moves on you. (it’s a manipulation tactic, don’t fall for it!! 😳)

•^^when you get aroused, they get aroused. they’ll decide to make a move depending on the circumstances

• they have good control and discipline over themselves in general. But they’re still prone to control issues, esp over other people, or obsessiveness

Definitely an overthinker. They don’t like to be vulnerable emotionally. It’s very hard to get close to this person, and even harder to open up

doesn’t care about your “flaws” and doesn’t notice until you point them out; will be genuinely surprised to hear you have insecurities, bc to your fs, there’s no such thing. they don’t understand how you could feel that way about yourself or certain things about yourself

In some kind of leadership role (in work, relationship, or the home) or in a high enough position to give and support. Dominant in the sheets—stubbornly prefers to be

Loves to travel or would travel more if they could

Extremely adaptable and an all rounder; does well under pressure and in uncomfortable situations/environments

Likes bantering and stirring things up on purpose sometimes. Sometimes they’re feelin kinda bratty and will instigate. They fight just to fight. They’re usually quiet, reserved, or introverted

• deep down they know this and they’d even admit it to you if you asked, but they’d be totally onboard with you never going outside again and just staying in the house (it’s a possessive wolf thing maybe)

• you might not know at first, and they might not show it evidently, but they love sad karaoke songs or sad songs overall

Primary love language: Acts of service, physical touch, quality time, and gift giving

• *sniffs you with suspicion* “…that’s not my scent…”

• standing watch over you when you use a knife to cut vegetables — says, “are you sure you don’t need my help?” at least 5x in 2 mins, and still doesn’t leave after that

• stare wars with birds on a pole bc they felt offended by the birds staring first

• randomly, abrupt howling on some nights

“You take what I give you”

Acts as your personal bodyguard- will actually fight anyone for you

• loves to smell around your neck area- that shit kinda tickles tho

• (if your werewolf is male): “change out. that’s too revealing. you know men are dogs.” (lmfaooo? says who, the werewolf??)

• scolds you like a damn parent because you went outside at night for a few minutes to get some fresh air

• massages your thighs and feet

• physical contact is a must for them when watching movies with you

—————————————

Pile 2 | The Vampire

• “I ‘vant tu zuck yur blud.”

• a bit of a vanity monster (as most vampires are.) they like the way they look, and also care about how they present themselves to other people and most importantly, looking hot as hell in front of you, maybe too much at times. but from your pov, they really don’t have to try. they’re just naturally…wow. Breathtaking. HOWEVER!!! They use it to their advantage.

• Actual sass-squashes. They’re sassy and for no reason, but you can’t take them seriously when they are 😂😂

• intentionally AND unintentionally funny. like those characters on Disney channel shows that are like “oh yeah? try me” and then some bigger, buffer person comes in and they flinch a little. if you squint, you’ll catch a gulp in there too. it’s funny. endearing even. but they gotta own up to their mistakes and tone down on overcompensating. If there’s one thing they do, it’s to make up for what they don’t have.

• L-O-Y-A-L….by the time they get with you, at least. they might’ve had an…interesting reputation in the past. they might seem selfish bc of it—which is partially true. they can charm people to get what they want. They might/might have had a history of partying, hella socializing, hanging out w/ friends whenever they could (haha get it? hanging out? yk…vampire stuff…)

A total charmer and a flirt. They like to bicker and tease you; playful,, sometimes it’s cute…others, kinda annoying

• if you talk to this person seriously and in a calm and diplomatic manner, they’ll get a little defensive, yes, but A LOT less so than if you were yelling and screaming at them outright. if you both just sit down on the edge of the bed, tilt your head to a 45 degree angle and show your concerns, they’ll reflect and maybe deflect here and there, but they’ll think about it throughout the day.

• I think this person goes through varying phases of heat. (Prob not even the right word here but-) By that I mean, sometimes they wanna get down and dirty for 30 hours straight or just session after session after session nonstop—OR they take what they need and leave for a couple hours, come back again, take, and leave. This is odd at first, but it just comes with the moodiness they inherently have, possibly sticking to them from the past life. They might have suffered with commitment issues, and I don’t mean them per se, but the people around them that didn’t know how to love: family, friends, anyone that was close and left abruptly or never showed love. (Made me a lil sad there...)

• Love is complicated. They didn’t believe in it before and was confident they wouldn’t ever. But when you ask them “What do vampires think about love? Are you allowed to love?”, they turn their heads, take a moment to skim over your face in silence. Love…is what I’m feeling with you. They want to admit this, but vampires can’t feel. Would you even believe them? They don’t even know what love is. They don’t even feel heartbeats anymore, but for some reason, when you look into their eyes like that, there’s a different kind of pulsing. A surge of desire that courses through them, screaming at them to keep you forever. They can’t ever let you go now.

•^ This leads us to possessiveness. They are…*phew* VERY possessive and very dramatic/petty/easily sulky about it. You’ll lose your mind over it. If you do something as simple as shopping, they will follow. Too insistent and stubborn not to. What if you encounter another vampire living among the humans during the day, and suddenly, said vampire wants you too? Sure, they get burnt with a bit of sun, so what? They’d evolved enough to wear a million layers of sunscreen and a million layers of clothing over that, all dressed up like a moving heap of clothes. They care about how others might see them like this, of course, but in moments like these, they don’t care when you’re on the line.

• they’ve never really had their emotions looked at carefully or taken care of. It’s always just been brushed off, not only by themselves but by others as well. I personally wouldn’t doubt if they claimed to never have had real friends or friends that cared about the inside substance rather than the outer. Your fs just seems like they’re trying to fit in, be accepted and validated. You wouldn’t be able to tell at first glance, but as you gradually get to know them, you’ll find that their heart is barely being held together by makeshift glue.

Very in tune with their inner divine feminine energy,, not afraid to tap into it and explore that side more

Not that emotionally developed but has major potential to with the right teacher

Nurturing and caring, but might be materialistic or putting too much importance on the material/physical pleasures. Truly lives for the fun of it

Works hard, plays hard—and will shamelessly chase you

Knows exactly what to say and do that will rile you up. Knows all of your weak spots physically

Down to try anything and everything with you, no complaints

Sensual and passionate personality and in the sheets

Super open minded and curious, easygoing and has no expectations. Makes a lot of jokes too.

Daring, optimistic, brave and believes in no limits (but bc of this, they can be seen as naive or have an innocent nature inside.) Gets in half-fights/arguments w/ people for fun

A total switch in bed; can and literally will do/try anything

Now, dare I say…the FS for this pile have the best rizz and sex game

Some fs in here can get too naggy

They have a great fashion sense or an overwhelming appreciation for fashion, beauty, or aesthetics, and is more than willing to be involved in your fashion styles

Red flag moment: solves problems in your relationship w/ sex so that yall will just forget it and move on

In hindsight, this FS is so flamboyant or charming that you could get lost in what they’re trying to express. They’ve got very fiery energy (betting rn that they have extremely prominent fire sign placements).

P.S. yeah after writing this out and reviewing the format, seeing all the back and forth…pile 2 FS def has a perfection mask thing going on. They wanna make themselves appealing in one way or another, or the consequences will just break them into pieces. The last thing that they want is to be alone.

————————-

Pile 3 | The Fairy

Alas, we’ve gotten to arguably the most healthy future spouse here out of the 3 😅 (and the most intuitive)

Introspective as hell and wise. Helps you with really anything

They’re ok w/ being alone; most introverted of the piles

Positive, hopeful, and optimistic when it comes to others. More pessimistic when it comes to themselves.

Balanced and a good mentor; suuuper patient (a lot of times to a fault)

Learns from their losses and mistakes and becomes a better person, improving almost immediately

Mediator type of person, but will defend you against others in argument—which they’ll win btw

They don’t like seeking help from others—if anything, your FS is usually the helper—even when they can ask for help right in front of them- even if it’s recommended to get help, they still won’t do it

Hella infj vibes tho (if you’re into mbti)

Every show of love is their love language. Bonus points if they wear matching clothes or secretly write poems to you that they’ll never tell you about

This future spouse group has the cheesiest and the sweetest person

Your person can lead a life more flexible financially than the other 2 piles

Also an all rounder! But thinks that they aren’t perfect when they literally are; struggles with their own low self-esteem so they try to build other people up

Putting others before themselves is second nature- they ALWAYS prioritize you or others; extremely selfless

^^Now, each fairy got a different role and purpose. The reasoning for your fs being overly selfless and self-sacrificial varies. The easy answer? Insecurity. Second? Obligation or a sense of duty. The list goes on…

They’ve got that Triple A Threat: Amazing Ass Adaptability. Your person has been thru quite a bit, hell and back. Sometimes, life just likes to mess with them for no apparent reason 🤷🏻‍♀️)

They’re always ready to face challenges; Incredibly strong person. They’ll be with you thru thick and thin!!

Strong sense of justice and equality. OH- and also they like traveling or would like to travel more!

A literal inspiration and hope (yes, with sparkles on top.) Not only do they inspire others, but your person—no matter how rock bottom you get—will never leave you.

gets jealous and easily possessive but doesn't wanna show it (shit's still pretty obvious tho)

The type that babbles their heart out when they get comfy with you. They don’t get like this with just anyone

Likely likes museums and art. Things that the media typically deems boring, weird, or unconventional your FS will prob find interesting. They like to look into deeper meanings and interpretations.

In bed, they’re pretty vanilla and soft. But are open to exploring things that aren’t too wild (like our vampire up above)

(Take this bit very lightly: I see that this person has grown up or has been around “broken” people their entire life, so they feel they need to take responsibility on behalf of those people. They might be some kind of counselor, mentor, or therapist. They’re prone to blaming themselves if situations take a bad turn or go unplanned. I’m also hinting here that some of your FS might have a savior complex, and not on purpose. They might always take some kind of leadership role or something directly beneficial to people- nurses, camp leaders, etc…)

They will take all of the burden so that you don’t have to

If your FS had any weirdo or pervy habits, it’d probably be compulsively stealing your panties or building a shrine with locks of your hair on it 😵‍💫 (which hopefully I hope doesn’t happen. I heard in some fairy folklore, they steal babies, like flying away with the newborn-in-a-basket typa thing- and for no reason too! Don’t let them steal yo babies now!!)

———————-

**Ending Teddy note:

As always, thank you so very much for tuning in with us! I hope you have a spooktacular Scorpio season as we are soon heading into it (depending on when you’re reading this), but really you can read this at any time. Rmr to take everything with a grain of salt! Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. Stay safe out there and rock on people 🤩🤩 Feedback is very much appreciated in any form as it’d help me grow as a reader :)

*This is for entertainment purposes*

[burnyouwithacigarettelighter]

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT ─── cillian murphy ✧𖦹

ೃ⁀➷ “I am turned inside out by the ache in your voice, the taste of your tongue." — ‘Afternoon Masala: Poems’, Vandana Khanna

pairing. cillian murphy x actor!reader

summary. you and your co-star, cillian, are having a hard time performing a sex scene for your movie. they do say, however, practice makes perfect.

warnings. swearing, thigh-riding, creampie, p in v, unprotected sex, mentioned/implied age gap, probably inaccurate depictions of actor-life, mirror sex, slight breeding kink, kinda innocent reader(?), AU cillian murphy (not married/no kids), SMUT UNDER THE CUT! 

word count. 4.5k

a/n. this is not in any way meant to disrespect cillians wife😭 i js made this a not married AU to be convenient!

i.

“Cut - cut, cut!” The director repeated, his increasing irritation colouring his voice completely. “Now, I said it earlier, but—“

You scrubbed your face with a sigh, getting up off of Cillian and the desk, who was propping himself up by the elbows. “It’s not passionate enough,” you finished flatly for your director, who nodded earnestly. 

“I promise, this is as tiring for me as it is for you. Remember,” the director continued, the script half curled in his hands and making a thin flapping noise, “it’s the culmination of six months of pining. Six months of taboo, unrelenting, electric tension. Nothing more than stares in class and brief touches- you are supposed to be bordering feral for one another.”

You, and your co-star, Cillian, were currently filming the first sex scene of a movie portraying the forbidden, toxic love affair between a barely 18 teenage student and her much older teacher. Well, not exactly filming- you weren’t getting far with the scene, for the two of you just couldn’t get it right. Or, as the director liked to say, passionate enough. 

The role was already incredibly taxing, even without the added stress of the sex scene: it was 20 hour work days, living on set in a trailer far from home, having to devote at least half of those hours to filming this very sex scene, and had a perfectionist director like yours. 

The problem was that it was long, and the director wanted it done in one take. Brilliant man, he was, and had a love for this project you wished every director had for theirs, but he was adamant on it being done perfectly. He said it was intended to be the “primary and most iconic” scene of the entire film, for it was the crux of the story; the point of no return for the characters. 

“With all due respect, I’ve never imagined such a scenario, much less had experience. Just how can you expect me to portray a student-teacher romance accurately?“

“That’s your job: to imagine and perform.” The director demanded, obviously up to his ears in frustration.

Just before you retorted irately, Cillian cut in smoothly. “I think what she means,” he said, watching the veins in the director’s forehead nearly burst, “is that it’s hard to perform because it’s not common. S’easy to act in love because there’s love all around, yeah? We don’t have much to go off of, visually.”

The director’s gaze rapidly flitted between you and Cillian for a moment, before letting go of his anger and sighing wearily. “You’ve never even thought about a superior that way? Someone older than you?” he pressed, obviously joking and trying to lighten the set’s mood. 

You paused, and tried not to look at Cillian, your blatantly gorgeous forty-something co-star who was chosen for this role firstly, because of his stellar acting and secondly, because of how fucking attractive he was. 

His character was a total fucking creep, and you knew casting Cillian had been a calculated choice; all in the name of making the audience’s guard come down to be smacked in the face by his immorality later. He was meant to be charming, handsome, and terribly, totally, off-limits: the object of completely forbidden desire, the line your character was desperate to cross. 

It seemed the same in real life, too: the young inexperienced actress wanting to ignore those societal niceties and pine wholeheartedly over the middle-aged actor with decades of knowledge under his belt. 

You weren’t, like, in love or anything, but you certainly reveled in his presence: he was patient, kind, and completely understanding of your lack of experience, always guiding you through all the steps an actor takes during filming like when to take off hair and makeup, what best to say to family and friends prying for details- all the things, he said, he wished someone told him when he was first starting out. 

You were afraid you two had unknowingly fallen into a mentor-mentee dynamic, but there were always those spare moments, between hearty fits of laughter and silly conversation that you’d never expected to come from such an intimidating man as Cillian, where his rough hands would brush past your waist, gaze dragging up and down your body, sounding sensual and provocative despite nothing dirty leaving his mouth at all. 

He made your insides pulse, especially when your more intimate scenes came about, and you could only have a lusting woman’s pipedream that he felt the same. 

You still remember the first sequence you’d done with him: in the movie, your characters met after-class to make up for a missed exam, and it was the start of their corrupt attraction. Cillian had been pressed against your back, leaning over you to pressuringly peer at the test, large hand gripping your shoulder. The air felt steamy then, his body warm, low voice making you feel lightheaded as he recited his lines. 

You shivered at the remembrance of the moment, coming back to reality, and you answered the director’s question with a vehement shake of the head. 

The director let out a (strained) laugh, and smacked his palm lightly with the script, shoulders slumping. “Okay. Okay, we’ll - we’ll break for today. Take this extra time to imagine, research, anything- just practice the scene, alright? Practice makes perfect.” 

You and Cillian nodded simultaneously, giving eachother a look that just screamed “he’s ridiculous” before tearing away from each other's stare to return to your trailers. 

Later, you were getting ready to go to bed, peeling your freshly showered hair out of a small towel, when there was a knock at your trailer door. 

“One second,” you called out, pulling on your silk sleep shorts. You vaguely registered how awkward it might be to be seen in your pajamas if the director or one of your fellow actors came about, but you were way too tired to care. 

You did care, however, self-consciously crossing your arms and covering your thinly-clothed chest, when you opened the door and there on the steps stood your co-star, Cillian.

Before speaking, he looked you up and down, icy blue eyes gleaming behind an unfamiliar pair of tortoise shell frames. “You goin’ to bed?” he finally asked, tone husky. 

His gaze lingered on the bare skin of your legs for a few seconds longer and you shifted uncomfortably, crossing your ankles together in a poor attempt to hide yourself. 

“What do you need?” you asked briskly, more sharp than you meant it to be. 

“Sorry,” he corrected himself, shaking his head and finally looking you in the eye. “I meant’a come by earlier… got caught up. I know this, ah, sex scene is tripping us up, so…” he trailed off, lifting up the white script he’d been holding behind his back. “Y’up for some practice?”

You blinked rapidly at the simple, innocent request. Mere rehearsal, not some lecherous late-night escapade you’d been dreaming up in your mind. “Oh… yes, of course,” you nodded numbly, moving out of the way to let him step in. 

Only moments later, when he’d perched onto the edge of your vanity — looking uniquely casual in what you assumed was his version of pajamas: baggy gray sweatpants and a fitted, well-worn black t-shirt — did you realize the connotations of rehearsing your sex scene. 

Sure, it was all pre-determined, every word you’d say and every action you’d perform, but still. Saying- and doing, such suggestive things after-hours? That was beyond your dirtiest fantasies.

However, you shook yourself internally: Cillian had come to rehearse the scene with professional intentions. Honestly, he’d probably done so because he was tired of you messing up the scene. He could do his own part masterfully, and you knew that if it’d been a better, more experienced actress by his side, filming would’ve moved on ages ago. 

You took shaky, tentative steps near him, settling on your bed, watching him flip through the script— when he looked up and frowned. 

“What’re you doing? Come here,” he gestured for you to come closer, almost a command. “We don’t have a desk, so we can use your vanity.”

You nodded, biting your lip and nervously complying with his words. “So, we’ll start from the beginning?” you asked, your voice -- and legs -- suddenly feeling terribly weak.

His eyes were still trained on the paper as he answered. “Not necessarily. The sex part s’really the only thing we’re having trouble with, yeah?” 

You gulped, throat dry. “Yeah, I guess so.” 

With that, he chanced one last look at the script, before diving into the scene. His actions were ones you were extremely familiar with, having attempted this scene everyday for at least a week now. 

His body turned to yours, hands coming up to your jaw, and pressing your back onto the table slightly. He held you tightly, and made you look at him, while delivering his lines softly, memorable Irish accent replaced by his character’s generic American one.

Jiltedly, you did the same, poorly remembering what you needed to say and dragging through it like some amateur. “Fuck, sorry,” you cursed suddenly, tearing away from his touch and sighing. 

He gave you a small, careful smile, immediately breaking out of character and taking a step away from the vanity. “No need t’be nervous. Practice makes perfect, right?” 

You snorted at his quoting of the director. “I just… I don’t know what he means by passionate. I’m trying to be professional about this but - but I’ve seriously never been in some steamy love-affair.”

“Can’t really expect that of you, can we? You’re too young, too much’ve a good girl for that kinda ‘ting.” He said, hand coming up to your shoulder, the one where your silk tanktop’s spaghetti strap had slipped off, rubbing it soothingly. 

You practically melted into a puddle at both the pet name and how the rough pads of his fingers brushed against your sensitive skin. You were so entranced you almost whined when he stopped and pulled up your fallen strap, but instead you wordlessly snatched the script that was dropped onto the table and found one of the lines, inhaling sharply and readying yourself. 

Your hand came up to tug on the sleeve of Cillian’s shirt, as dictated by the script. “Sir, please,” you whispered out in your character’s high pitched voice, “I - I… want you to touch me.”

“This is -- wrong. I’m your teacher, and I…” Cillian responded, swiftly back in character, the back of his palm grazing your cheek. “I gotta break your heart, darling.”

You looked up at Cillian, summoning crocodile tears to fill your gaze. “Please. I need you.” Then, one of your clammy hands ran down Cillian’s chest as you spoke, like it did back on set. “I think of you, at night. I soaked through my shorts the day you scolded me.”

You heard Cillian’s breath hitch- his character, you reminded yourself. “Fucking hell… I think of you in class, sweetheart,” he growled out perfectly. 

So far, so good, you thought. It wasn’t awkward, and was already miles better than the lackluster performances you’d given previously. You continued by leaning into Cillian’s touch, making him sit on the vanity— the part of the scene you’d gotten to this morning, before the director called cut.

This time, however, Cillian’s actions differed from the ones he was supposed to perform: instead of petting the crown of your head, his fingers trailed down your hips, sending shivers down your spine.

“I’ll be good for you, sir,” you recited, face growing hot as his hand inched closer to the curve of your ass. “You can do whatever you want to me.”

Cillian’s gaze had darkened now, flitting over your features. He didn’t say his line - or, had at least missed the timing, and you removed your hands from his body worriedly. “Are you alright—“

Before you could finish your sentence, Cillian had grabbed you by the ass, switching your places and setting you down on the edge of the vanity. 

“Cillian!“ you squeaked out, the only thing you could really say as you processed what exactly just happened. Your mind was swimming with confusion — and anticipation — as he stood before you, legs pressing on either side of your knees and trapping you on the vanity. 

“Improv,” he promised quietly in his telltale Irish accent, a sly wink appearing on his sharp features. 

You bit your lip, nodded, and repeated your line. You trusted him to guide you — and the rehearsal — because, as mentioned before, he did these kinds of things often. If he thought you’d act better if you sat on the vanity, you’d sit on the vanity. 

His hand then pet your hair, the other hand coming up to your chin and making you look up at him. “Whatever I want?” he murmured, back on track with the script. 

You bat your lashes at him. “Everything. I’m yours.”

Now, this is where you thought Cillian would stop— because after your line came the kissing and the touching and the heavy petting: all things you thus far hadn’t filmed at all, because you couldn’t even get the dialogue out right. 

Instead, he leaned down and began to press hungry kisses down your neck, making you gasp.

“What are you—“

“Shh,” he demanded softly, “it's all part of the scene, remember?”

You blinked dumbly, mouth opening and closing, unable to register a coherent thought or word. He said it was part of the scene but you’d read that script, and his teeth nipping lightly at your skin was not written anywhere within it.

But, you gulped down your thoughts, and belted out several more of your lines in tandem to his own. With his other hand gripping your thigh so tight you thought it might bruise, you were starting to think that maybe this was one of those lecherous late-night escapades you were dreaming of. 

All you’d been doing was acting, like he’d asked, but still, you could see clear as day how that’d affect him— how easily it could be to succumb. After all, you were just barely restraining yourself from jumping his bones: how could you not, with his gorgeous face just inches away from yours?

Well, acting or not, you’d enjoy every minute of this.

When one of his hands began playing with the waistband of your shorts as he suckled on your pulse, that just right spot on your neck, you couldn’t help the whimper that left your mouth. 

However, the noise seemed to startle him; jumpshock him back to reality, and your suspicions became completely confirmed when he pulled away from you roughly. 

“Fuck, I’m—“ a pained grimace washed over his features, looking you up and down like he just realized what he’d been doing. “I don’t know what came over me, I— shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have come here tonight.”

You stared at him, body disappointed at the lack of touch, watching him press his pink lips into a conflicted white line. “What - what d’you mean?”

His gaze coursed over your every feature, so intently you thought he was admiring your face. “I can’t— we can’t happen. Y’too young, you’re, you’re too…”

“Then we can stop. If that’s what you want,” you murmured coyly, hand coming up to pick a piece of thread off his thin shirt. “But only if you ask. C’mon, say it: I don’t want you and I want this to stop.”

He groaned, biting his lip. “Don’t do that. I can’t do that.”

“Do what?” You tilted your head to the side. 

“Tease. Because you know I won’t tell you to stop. ‘Cause I won’t be able to fucking control m’self,” he grumbled, before pressing a desperate, deep kiss to your lips, pulling you off the vanity and continuing down your chest.

“Then don’t. Take me for everything I have,” you whined, following his every move and manhandling touch. 

He breathed heavily between kisses. “Saying those kinds’a words with that pretty voice of yours… fuck, you’re doing things to me.” 

Your hands were trailing all over his body, and then you tugged his shirt off, desperate to feel him. He had similar thoughts, fingers dipping into your silk shorts and petting your hot mound. 

“Need you,” you panted, and, at your words, he suddenly tore off your silk shorts and panties in one clean go, making you shiver.

He then sat down on your vanity chair and roughly grabbed you by the hips to place yourself onto one of his thighs. The thick fabric of his sweatpants, taking in your wetness like a sponge, made you wince.

“Go on then,” he demanded darkly, “get y’self off on my fucking thigh. Show me how bad you need me.”

You bit your lip, face burning with shame at the order. But there was an aching need in your gut, and the way he crossed his arms, watching and waiting for you to get the hell on with it, had you clenching around his thigh.

Your hands gripped onto his shoulders, and you began slowly rutting against him, the soft fabric of his pants doing poor work for pleasuring your core. You pressed your face into his shoulder, screwed up at the lack of friction. 

“Can’t do it,” you whined, “Please.” 

He rolled his eyes. “You said you needed me. You’ve got me,” he gestured to his thigh, “so get to work.” Then, he suddenly flexed, making an unwarranted mewl leave your mouth.

You wanted nothing more than his fucking cock, but here you were, pathetically pleasuring yourself on his thigh until he allowed otherwise. You nodded resignedly, and dug your fingernails into his shoulders, starting to set a steady pace of grinding down on him, slowly building up the heat within your insides. 

You were moaning now, vigorously dragging your hips against him harder, needier, feeling the pressure in your cunt grow hotter and more rampant. 

“Y’hear that?” He asked, one of his fingers tilting your chin back up to face him. “D’you even realize how fucking delicious you sound, all needy f’me?”

You nodded, but weren’t really paying attention: you were closer than ever, just moments away from falling off the edge— when Cillian stopped you. 

“Stop,” he spoke, voice filled with sheer lust, and you whimpered at the abrupt loss of momentum. Then, he got up, holding you against him by the waist, looking down at his sweatpants. “You made such a mess… soaked all over m’pants.”

You didn’t — no, couldn’t respond to his musings, pressing your thighs together in an attempt to return friction to your needy pussy, biting down on your lip to muffle your breathy pants. 

He noticed this, however, smirking and quickly pressing you stomach down onto the vanity. You caught a glimpse of yourself for the first time since your shower, and you flushed with shame: your eyes were heavy-lidded and dilated, lips pink and slick with drool, your brows in a perpetual knit.

You looked fucking filthy, and when you felt Cillian press his thick head to your entrance, something you hadn’t noticed he’d pulled out, too enraptured in your dirty expression, you shut your eyes. 

You were suddenly so much more aware of the situation: you’d fucked yourself silly on your co-stars thigh, the co-star who was twice your age. He now knew you weren’t a talented aspiring actress, no, you were just a desperate little thing begging to be fucked. 

“Hey, hey,” He tutted in mock-disappointment, “open your eyes, and fucking watch yourself. It’ll be good for our scene.”

You whimpered helplessly, obeying him and fluttering your eyes open, as he pushed his cock past your dripping folds inch by inch. 

“Oh my god,” you cried out when he finally pressed all the way in. You felt so full, stretched to the brim with his hardened cock, so deep his balls touched your sticky clit.

“So fucking wet,” he commented, chuckling darkly behind you. You were totally slick, helping him enter you faster, but his cock was still a foreign intrusion to your inexperienced cunt: you were young, and had never been the type to “get around” — at least not with the intentions of getting fucked so much you could take any length of dick easily. 

You clenched around him, a groan leaving his mouth at the increased pressure around his cock, and he snapped into you, making you bounce forward as your lips parted with a sweet moan. 

You’d been focussed on his face, in the mirror, but Cillian’s hand suddenly tangled through your hair, grabbing a fistful of it and lifting your head to face yourself. “I told you to fucking watch yourself,” he spat, gripping your hair tightly. “you’re the reason we can’t wrap up, so do your job and fuckin’ practice.”

With that, Cillian started pounding into you, digging the rough pads of his fingers into your hip, and you would’ve protested such a fast progression — having been given barely any time to get used to his long cock — but your expression was even worse than before, if that was even possible. 

Your mouth was open, tongue out and panting like a fucking dog, your lustfully sticky spit spilling down your chin to your chest, and your eyes were rolling into the back of your head with each hearty thrust Cillian delivered you. The sounds you were making weren’t helping your embarrassment either, all unintelligible mewls and needy whines for his cock. 

“You’ve wanted me for so long, haven’t you? I always knew what a filthy desperate girl you were, pressing up against me during shooting… those naughty hands on my thighs,” he snickered. 

“Needed you in me so bad,” you whimpered, nodding enthusiastically, barely able to register what you were doing now with the pleasure washing over you and clouding your senses. Your back was arching into him, sucking in his cock and never wanting him to leave despite the mind-breaking ecstasy that was coming from his pounding. 

“Just look at your dirty fuckin’ face… so pathetic.” he murmured, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek; sweet and lovely, a stark juxtaposition to his unrelenting rutting and degrading words. 

You whined at his words, but you knew they were true: you’d never seen yourself get fucked, always too busy with, well, getting fucked, but seeing yourself in the mirror like this had you unexpectedly hotter than before. There was just something about it, your face unabashedly contorting around the pleasure, Cillian’s hands snaking up your body as he rammed into you in the background. 

Kind of like your own personal porno, you thought offhandedly, and you wondered how it’d affect you if you filmed yourself. Hopefully, with Cillian. 

His other hand then came up to your folds, spreading them apart so he could see himself disappear into your hole. “Fuck, your cunt’s so perfect,” he growled, his head falling back, losing himself in the pleasure. 

The orgasm building in your gut wasn’t like the one when you’d been grinding down on his thick thigh, no, it came faster, making you sweat and your knees shake. You wanted more, and you gasped out “faster,” and “harder,” to Cillian, needing him in the stick spongy spot deep in your cunt. 

“Please,” you begged without any expectation of a real answer or action, “please, Cillian, please.”

He did go faster, though, to your apparent shock, both hands coming to your thighs to steady himself. “So needy,” he grumbled, pushing himself deeper and more swiftly into you, feeling how deliciously your fleshy walls tightened around his new pace. 

With that, your high came just as quick, hitting you like a fucking freight train and making you scream out his name. Your orgasm wrecked you, made your vision go white and your thoughts stutter to a complete halt, and you vaguely made out Cillian’s proud hum, whispering “Good girl,” in your ear. 

When you came to, your head was hanging low, your eyes blown out, lips puffy. Cillian was still thrusting into your worn-out pussy, but it was more jilted, shaky and needy. 

“Come in me,” you pleaded suddenly, gripping the vanity to keep your trembling legs up, “fill me up, please, make your come spill out of me.”

“Good god, girl,” he groaned, pounding one last thrust into you before letting go, his cock pulsing around your wet core. He was pressed up to you so deep you could feel him shoot his load right into your cervix, and you grinned weakly, a sweet image of you: knocked up with his kid, your cunt so young and fertile you’d get pregnant from just about anything from him, entering your mind. 

After a moment, he slipped his softening cock out of your filthy cunt and picked you up by the waist to set you down on the vanity and keep you from falling onto the floor. 

“Thank you,” you mumbled, looking up at him through your lashes. You then bit your lip, feeling his thick load of creamy come ooze out of your used hole onto your vanity. 

He noticed too, letting out a satisfied groan, spreading your legs lightly, before collecting himself on his finger and pushing his come back into your cunt. “Such a good girl,” he reiterated, going back to being sweet and petting your hair, doting on your weak form, looking deep into your eyes. 

You swooned at his delicate actions. “Is this a good time to say I like you?” 

He laughed, all adoringly. “It’s as good a time as any. I like you, too, if it’s any consolation.” 

“But you, y’know… you said I was too young,” you reminded him, frowning slightly. 

He sighed, gaze drifting away nervously for a moment before coming back to you. “That I did, but, well… if you wanna take this old man for a ride before I keel over,” he shrugged.

You couldn’t help the laugh that belted out of you, his words so ridiculous and completely not based in reality. “Oh, sure,” you said, shaking your head, lips still in an amused tilt, “you’re mine, old man.”

Before he could speak, probably say another stupid joke, your hands wrapped around his neck and you pulled him toward you, pressing a soft kiss to his plump lips. 

“I like you like you, okay?” You whispered, sounding incredibly juvenile but twice as heartfelt, your tone wavering and self-conscious. You were bearing your heart on your sleeve here, okay, acknowledging feelings you thought should never come to light. 

His hands came up to your face, gently holding you. “Good thing I like you like you, too.”

ii.

“Cut!” The director called, and you swore you felt your heart drop to the floor. Fuck, you thought, mind racing, what went wrong this time? Was it the kissing, or the hands in the hair?

However, the director came up to you and Cillian and let out an uncharacteristic shriek of delight. “Perfection,” he said simply, bordering on catatonic with how content he was. 

Your shoulders slumped with relief, and you leaned into Cillian, who was subtly dancing his fingers across your thigh. “It’s finished?” you asked, breathless with excitement.

The director nodded. “That was electric, needy, tense, delicious, passionate, so, so passionate,” he continued with a gasp, hands clasping together tightly.  “You are two of the most amazing actors I have ever worked with— you are incredibly talented, so convincing I’d have thought you did sleep together.” 

You preened at his praise, but not without looking up at Cillian, meeting his gaze and barely keeping your expression happy and neutral and not at all warm at the thought of the other night's events. 

As the director went off rambling about the utter masterpiece the movie was to be, Cillian trailed behind you off the set, murmuring lowly in your ear, “I guess practice does make perfect.”

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

🤫🤔🫢🫦🧠🗣️ Your Communication Issues Based on Your Rising Sign 🤫🤔🫢🫦🧠🗣️

Disclaimer: If it don’t apply, let it fly ☺️😌

Aries Rising:

* Speaking aggressively even when calm.

* Noticeable anxiety when they speak ( voice getting louder, shaky voice, stuttering, mumbling).

* Struggle to listen as their minds are fired up.

* Changing their opinion frequently and playing devils advocate.

* Easily able to manipulate others, watch out for their convincing ways especially when they want something.

* Can come across as judgmental and can make people uncomfortable with this aspect.

Taurus Rising:

* Can be hard to know how they truly feel, they can play off just how emotional they are, closed off.

* Reserved and private, hard to get these people to open up.

* They can tell people what they want to hear, instead of choosing to be honest.

* They can retreat into their own world especially to deal with their emotions, hard to reach.

* If they feel a certain way towards someone they can be stubborn, defensive, and take things personally.

* Can hold a lot of their real feelings in.

Gemini Rising:

* Needs an audience or some form of validation to be talkative and social or they will be quiet.

* A lot of pride over their opinions and perspective.

* They can dish it, but they cannot take it.

* Can struggle to allow others to shine, they want to be the brains, beauty, and more.

* Selectively choosing to engage with those who give their ego a boost.

* Saying things just so people can like them.

* Telling lies.

Cancer Rising:

* Categorizing people into boxes before getting to know them.

* Indirect communication style. ( skimming around topics, avoiding certain conversations, not allowing anyone in, passive aggressive).

* Not being authentic in their communication, saying what they believe the other wants to hear.

* Can become detached and emotionally distant when sorting through their own issues.

* Difficulty expressing their feelings, but can be a therapist for other people.

* Criticizing the way they speak too much, over analyzing their communication.

* Can be a complainer.

Leo Rising:

* Perfectionist about your social image.

* Feeling a sense of importance amongst others that can come off as a superiority complex.

* Easily see the flaws of others, but can have a hard time being forthright and transparent about their flaws.

* Always trying to make everyone happy and feel good, but struggling with their own insecurities.

* Being superficial and caring about outward appearance too much, constant criticizing people’s appearance.

* Have a big ego and feel slighted and personally offended fast.

* Wants to be popular so will people please to fit in with the in crowd.

* Can be avoidant or disappear when issues come up.

* Can gossip about people behind their back.

Virgo Rising:

* Can be detached due to their introspective and analytical nature.

* Withdraw a lot and need a lot of time to themselves to process their experiences.

* Intensely introverted and retreats a lot into their own world.

* Going through extremes of isolated and constantly socializing and talking.

* Either dead silent or chatter box’s.

* Scrutinizing themselves too much so others feel awkward around them.

* If not scrutinizing around others, mentally doing it in a conversation and then feeling the need to be quiet.

* Psychoanalyzing and probing others but get uncomfortable when people do this to them.

* Speaking intensely.

Libra Rising:

* There is an excessive need to appear positive, bordering toxic positivity.

* Head in the clouds

* A tendency to overpromise or overextend theirselves to others.

* An issue with instilling boundaries.

* Do things just to keep the peace.

* Will run away at the sight of any issue or problems.

* Friends with people they outgrew but just keep thinking things will get better.

* Can be naive in conversations.

Scorpio Rising:

* Negative, pessimistic, cynical mindset which can often undermine their communication.

* Chronic complainers.

* Feels restricted in speaking freely. Feels they need to speak when spoken to or with people they are close to.

* Reserved and timid.

* Can have a mindset that nothing matters so can a bit dry responding to people’s issues.

* Or may take on other people’s issues as their own and act like a therapist.

* They can probe and psychoanalyze others but keep a lot of their personality and business hidden.

* Need to have control when communicating with others. Control and power dynamics are apparent in their communication.

* May feel more mature than others, so constantly feeling they have to dumb theirselves down or parent others.

* Can be grammar and pronunciation police.

* Judgmental of how people present themselves. May think everyone should be like them.

* Usually ends up trauma bonding or attracting people who vent a lot of their emotions on them.

Sagittarius Rising:

* Has big ideas that often are not yet accepted or people deem crazy, unrealistic, or wishful.

* Want others to join along their ideas, and may deal with pushback from more conservative individuals.

* Interrupts mid conversation cause they have something they have to just get out.

* Doesn’t listen well when people talk to them about things that aren’t interesting.

* Challenges others beliefs which can come off as personal attacks.

* Detached and insensitive when engrossed in a new idea, project, or interests.

* Unpredictable communication.

* Can have random outbursts or random moments where they are super happy and social.

* High energy which can be overwhelming to some. Talks a lot and then distant.

Capricorn Rising:

* Feeling restricted in communication. Wanting to express themselves freely but feeling that they have to control a lot of what they say.

* A sensitive soul with a hard exterior.

* Finding that people project a lot onto them.

* Feeling you they cant be themselves , so choosing to stay silent.

* Being deceitful or lying.

* Having to hold in a secret that weighs heavy on them.

* Needing someone to stimulate a conversation with them or else they don’t know what to say.

* Unclear on how to assert themselves. May come off passive aggressive.

* Off into their own world, withdrawn from the world.

Aquarius Rising:

* Can come across as less emotional and detached. Can say things bluntly and outright that shock or upset others.

* If someone isn’t being forthright and honest you can become irritated easily.

* Needing space to do their own thing. Can feel smothered by too much interaction.

* Unexpected communication. They might go weeks without talking to someone and then call them.

* On the other hand they can attract abrupt personalities where communication is spontaneous.

* Controversial opinions.

* Some of the ways they talk can be strange or odd.

* Females might carry a masculine theme to them that can intimidate others.

Pisces Rising:

* Withdrawn and uncommunicative.

* These people are sensitive and will retreat if they sense an issue or conflict.

* These people struggle to initiate conversation.

* Stubborn towards other people’s ideas.

* Can lie and fabricate things.

* Masters at deflecting and gaslighting.

* Can rationalize their feelings or at times make it seem their feelings are insignificant. They can also do this others.

* Rose colored glasses and can come across as delusional.

* May refuse to take any criticism.

[nicka-nell]

hq toxic traits? 👀👀

Hi! Lets do some short toxic traits then :))

Their toxic traits

Pairing: Osamu x, Atsumu x, Suna x, Kita x, Kuroo x, Ushijima x, Semi x, Shirabu x, Sakusa x, Oikawa x, Iwaizumi x, Bokuto x, Akaashi x, Sawamura x, Sugawara x, Azumane x, Kageyama x, Hinata x, Tsukishima x, Yamaguchi x reader

Warning: toxic traits obviously

MIYA OSAMU

Osamu is stubborn as hell.

He would rather sulk in the corner and give you the silent treatment than give in. 

He holds onto his grudge for a long time and would never apologize on his own initiative. 

In the end, you’re always the one who gives in and approaches him. But what’s the saying again? The wiser gives in…

MIYA ATSUMU

Atsumu often lies. Whether he does it willingly or subconsciously, he probably doesn’t even know. 

He forgot to hang the laundry outside? He couldn’t do it because it was raining so hard. Obviously a lie. 

If you confront him with his lies, he quickly slips into the victim's role and acts as if he is the poor victim and is always misunderstood by others. 

SUNA RINTAROU

Suna is good at manipulation. Especially when it comes to getting around things he doesn’t like. 

Whether it’s cleaning the apartment or meeting your friend that he doesn’t like, Suna always finds a way to wrap up his words so that you end up doing the housework or doing something alone with your, for him annoying, friend. 

Sometimes he wraps things up so well that he almost lets you fall into a guilt trap and makes you feel bad for a second.

KITA SHINSUKE

Kita is a bit of a perfectionist and absolutist. 

You’re organizing a housewarming party at your home and invite your friends? Of course, but not before Kita has checked twenty times whether everything is really clean, whether the food is prepared properly and whether there are enough slippers for everyone. 

Is one rose in your bouquet already hanging its head and wilted? If so, he removes it from the vase first so that everything is perfect. 

Discussions are sometimes very difficult. Depending on what the two of you are discussing, he closes himself off at a certain point and no longer allows other arguments or opinions. 

KUROO TETSUROU

He’s an absolute workaholic.

Kuroo enjoys his work. It also involves a lot of responsibility. That’s why he often works overtime. 

You’re on vacation and just want to relax on the beach together? But not without Kuroo’s business phone. 

Would he cancel his vacation if things were stressful at work and his team couldn’t manage without him? Yes. 

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI

Ushijima is not empathetic at all.

You feel bad because your colleague is mean to you and you want to vent to Ushijima? Just want to be hugged? No. “Talk to your boss” is the answer you get with a nod, immediately followed by the question of whether you’ve already finished the grocery list.  

Ushijima is also not flexible. You want to go to the cinema spontaneously? Then you’d better book it a week in advance so that you can fit it into your weekly schedule. Because Ushijima is a routine guy. Get up in the morning, get ready, go jogging, have breakfast, take a shower, say goodbye to you, go to training, come home, have lunch, go to his agency or attend appointments made by his agency, come home in the evening, greet you, have dinner and then spend time with you before getting ready for bed. 

SEMI EITA

Semi is a natural flirt, even if he does it subconsciously. 

Through his band, he often has gigs and when his fans talk to him, he quickly slips into light flirting. 

Nice compliments like “Oh you are really very pretty”, “With such pretty fans I have to be careful that I don’t start stuttering on stage” are a standard or light touches like touching the shoulders of his fans, patting them on the head and so on. 

However, he would never hook up with a fan ever. He would always remain loyal to you. 

SHIRABU KENJIROU

Shirabu is really stingy. 

You want to go out for dinner with him? Then only if you split the bill and each pay for what you have eaten and drunk. Tipping? No, he wouldn’t tip the waiter but always gives the money correctly.

Shirabu also tends to come across as arrogant and overbearing in some situations. 

Probably one reason why your friends didn’t like him at first. 

Kiyoomi Sakusa

Sakusa is incredibly bad at replying. If you write him a message, he either replies days later or not at all. Not because he doesn’t want to answer you, but because he simply forgets and you’re usually together in the evenings anyway, unless he’s abroad. 

But if you don’t get back to him after three hours, he gets restless and sometimes even angry because he’s worried. 

Besides, Sakusa is someone who likes to use silent-treatment when you’ve had a fight. You had an argument about a party you were at with friends? Be prepared for Sakusa to ignore you until you apologize to him, even though you haven’t done anything wrong. 

OIKAWA TOORU

Like Semi, Oikawa is also a natural flirt. He really enjoys it when girls crowd around him and give him compliments and gifts. 

Does he compliment them? Definitely. He loves the way the girls blush, giggle and look up at him in embarrassment. Would he try to get into their pants? Absolutely not. He also remains loyal. 

But Oikawa is an absolute attention slut. He loves to be the center of everything. When he’s not, he gets whiny and does everything he can to get back in the spotlight. 

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

Iwaizumi’s heart rate quickly rises as he sometimes has anger issues. 

Would he get violent with you? No, absolutely not. 

But sometimes he raises his voice from one moment to the next and you shrink back so fearfully that you are afraid his hand will slip out. 

However, Iwaizumi usually notices this immediately and apologizes straight away, then lowers his voice again very quickly and gives you a gentle hug. 

BOKUTO KOUTAROU

Bokuto is always too quick to take everything to heart. Even normal things like, “Koutarou, I’m not in the mood to go out to dinner with you today. I have a headache.” He often takes this to imply that you don’t want to spend time with him and don’t love him as much as you used to. 

Sometimes it’s really exhausting to keep up his good mood. 

Bokuto is also lazy when it comes to housework. Is the toilet paper is empty? Never mind, the roll won’t be refilled. If he then sits down on the toilet again and realizes that the roll is still empty, he would rather take a towel, dab himself dry and throw the towel in the laundry basket than refill the toilet roll. 

AKAASHI KEIJI

Akaashi tries to avoid conflicts as much as possible. 

If you have an argument with friends, then you can assume that Akaashi is not joining you to find a solution to your disagreements, but has probably just remembered that it is important to dust the houseplants right now, at this very moment. Leaf by leaf. 

An argument between you two? It doesn’t actually happen very often, as Akaashi would rather give in directly than let a discussion arise. 

SAWAMURA DAICHI

Oh, he’s a little people pleaser. 

He often seems strict, and everyone actually has respect for him. But Sawamura often can’t say no. 

You wanted to spend an evening together, just the two of you again after a long time? Yes... well, no, that’s not happening. Azumane asked if he could spend the night with you because he had a quarrel with his girlfriend. 

Sugawara asks if Sawamura can come to school and give a lecture about crime, since he has some trouble students, even though you actually have a day off today, just like Sawamura? Well, now you’re probably the only one who still has a day off and is waiting outside the elementary school for Sawamura to come out again. 

SUGAWARA KOUSHI

Sugawara doesn’t admit it, but he is very jealous. Sometimes even of his friends if they get a little too close to you. 

He often questions whether he is really good enough for you and always talks himself down instead of just talking to you. 

Sugawara is also often stuck in the past. He thinks about all the good times from the past and often forgets to live in the present or think about the future. 

AZUMANE ASAHI

Azumane is often negative and has fears and worries about the future.

Even if a moment is beautiful, such as a friend’s wedding, Azumane is sad. His only question is whether you will reach this point at some point or whether the future has other plans for you. 

In general, you can listen to his worries about the future at least once a month. Most of the time, however, his worries are completely unjustified. 

KAGEYAMA TOBIO 

Kageyama is selfish. 

He always thinks of himself first and then of others. Not that it’s bad to think, but with Kageyama it’s sometimes very extreme. 

For example, he makes sure he always has enough protein and enough to eat, so anything left over you can have. He never thinks badly of it, but he needs a well-trained body for his job. 

HINATA SHOUYOU

Hinata is always very competitive. Sometimes a little too much. 

Which of you is first at the front door? Mostly Hinata, and he’s usually happy. And that’s really not a bad thing. 

But once, after a very intimate moment of affection, he was lying next to you, both of you out of breath, and instead of saying something like “I love you”, he just said “ha, if you were pregnant, that would be another victory for me and a defeat for Kageyama, because we’d be the first to become parents”. You wish you could have kicked him off the bed. 

TSUKISHIMA KEI

Tsukishima is often pessimistic. He always sees the negative first before reality convinces him otherwise. Because often things aren’t as bad as he always claims at first. 

Besides, Tsukishima is a tease! He loves to bother you. For him, it’s all playful and never really serious. 

It’s probably his way of showing you that he loves you, but he often crosses the line and doesn’t realize that he’s hurting you sometimes. 

YAMAGUCHI TADASHI

Yamaguchi always talks himself down. He can never understand why other people like him for his character. 

That’s why you often have to talk to Yamaguchi when you come back from events. 

The couple next to you at the table in the restaurant had a much more expensive meal, much more expensive drinks, and Yamaguchi could only invite you to a simple menu. Again, he talks himself down, that he doesn’t deserve you, that you would have a better life with another man by your side. Only when you talk to him for several minutes, kissing and smiling at him, does he regain some self-confidence. 

[kamisatomay018]

I’ll Always Stand Up For You

Zayne x fem!reader

Warnings: hurt/comfort, angst with lots of comfort and love, him being protective over reader. Reader is not MC. Mentions of childhood trauma and toxic parents and family members.

Plot: you take him to meet your family after the two of you got engaged, upon his insistence. What he never knew was just how bad the situation at your home truly was. But one thing is clear: he will not sit quietly and listen.

The day Zayne proposed was the happiest day of your life. He was everything you could’ve ever asked for. He made you the happiest woman alive, and taking this next big step with him felt so right.

Even though his parents were always travelling around in the most perilous locations in the world, upon hearing of the news of your engagement, they immediately came to linkon, absolutely overjoyed for you both. Zayne was ecstatic to see his parents again; and your time with them was filled with laughter and nostalgic conversations of when the two of you were young.

Being with his parents seemed to heal a deeply wounded side of you, one that had never known the comfort of parental love and warmth. Zayne knew that your relationship with your parents was…strained, to put it lightly. And so seeing you bond with his parents, laugh and converse with them warmed his heart.

But then came the dreaded moment you had been praying earnestly to avoid: Zayne requesting to pay your parents a visit. He had been very patient and understanding, reinforcing the fact that he would never force you to go if you truly did not wish to see them again. But being the traditional man he was, he wanted your parents to know that their daughter was getting married. He didn’t care if they gave their blessings or not, he simply wanted his conscience to be clear.

You had been very hesitant about the matter, as it had been years since you had left your parents’ house. Each day you had spent living with them was pure agony: they seemed to hate you for simply existing. All your life, you tried to do everything you could to make them proud, to make them happy and become worthy of their affection. But you couldn’t even come close. They would always compare you to your older sister, reminding you that you would never be able to live upto her legacy.

Each word they had spoken haunted you well into your adulthood. You grew up to become a perfectionist, deeply insecure of your own abilities and deathly afraid of failure, of not being good enough. Zayne was the only person who had been able to help you through it, even though many a times he didn’t even realise that his quiet and gentle assurance was healing something he had never broken.

He had been your pillar, always supporting you and believing in you. He had loved you when you felt undeserving of it, he had cradled you through failure and cheered you through success. He was your everything.

Which is why you decided to agree to his request. Even though Zayne knew of your difficult relationship with your family, he never fully knew just till what extent it used to go to, because you had been too traumatised to speak of it, and he never pressurised you. He instead focused on making every day you spent with him the happiest day you could possibly imagine.

So here you were, sitting beside Zayne in front of your parents, staring blankly at your plate of food. To say that your parents had been baffled hearing of your engagement was an understatement. After all, they never thought someone would want to marry you. And the moment they saw Zayne, the epitome of perfection in a man walk in, they were certain you had either threatened him, or manipulated him into marrying you.

The conversations between Zayne and your parents had been…Stressful. The way they spoke so condescendingly of you while covering it up with mock laughter baffled him. But he wanted to be a respectful gentleman, so he would refute their every nonsensical claim with high praise of you. He boasted proudly of your achievements in linkon, of your success. But to his utter astonishment, they never seemed to care, only talking endlessly about their older daughter. What was wrong with these people?

He regretted asking you to come here so much. Seeing how quiet and dejected you had gotten only pained him further. So he would hold your hand, squeezing it softly as if he was apologetic, which he truly was. You only gave him a soft smile in response, not wanting him to feel guilty.

For a while everything was quiet as lunch was served. But of course, your parents had to stir up trouble.

“So Zayne, does this girl cook for you or not? When she was here, she would barely get out of her room. I hope she’s not that lazy anymore?” Your mom said, once again covering up the insult aimed at you with laughter. You stopped chewing immediately, feeling sick to your stomach. God, when would this end.

Zayne’s patience was running thin now. Respect be damned, he would not stand this behaviour anymore. He looked at your mother with cold eyes. “Ma’am, I asked her to be my wife, not my servant. As a doctor and her fiance, I generally like to prepare healthy meals for the both of us daily because she works very hard. And at night, we cook together.”

Your mother scoffed at that, glaring at you. “How could you make your fiance cook for you huh!? He’s a doctor, a renowned one at that! Do you think you work so hard? God knows how you managed to seduce such a perfect man, and now you don’t even treat him properly!? Your sister deserves him, not you!”

Tears filled your eyes as you felt the wounds from your childhood reopen. You looked down, breathing shakily. That didn’t last long though as Zayne stood up abruptly, his eyes glaring daggers at your parents. His evol caused the temperature in the room to drop, signalling just how angry he had gotten.

“Enough is enough. How dare you insult my fiance like this? All evening I have watched you tear her down, insult her and disregard her achievements. And now you have the audacity to raise your voice at MY soon to be wife? I did not come here to watch you ridicule the love of my life. People like you should be ashamed to even call yourself parents.”

You looked up at him through teary eyes, your heart skipping a beat. No one had ever stood up for you like that, no one had ever fought for your respect the way he was doing right now. Your parents were stunned, scrambling for words to respond with.

“Your daughter is the most precious woman I have ever met in my life. The most thoughtful, loving, kind and beautiful girl that I never thought fate would bless me with. Every day, she makes me so proud, and I feel blessed, knowing that I get to spend the rest of my life with her. I feel nothing but pity and anger for people like you, because you are too narrowly concerned with yourselves and your older daughter. This is the last time you will be seeing or hearing from either of us. Oh and, do not even try to expect an invitation to the wedding.”

Zayne then looked at you; your teary eyes hurting his soul. But he smiled at you reassuringly, holding your hand as he lead you away from the wretched place. He would make sure to love you even more to replace the pain your parents had inflicted on you in all these years. As soon as you both reached near his car, he pulled you into an embrace.

“I am so unbelievably sorry my love. I should’ve never asked you to do this..”

You shook your head, looking up at him with teary eyes. “No zayne, in fact..I’m so glad you did..” you cupped his cheeks softly, holding him close. “Do you have any idea just how much you’ve healed me, when you never even broke me..? And what you did back there..I never felt so loved and protected. No one has ever stood up for me like that..”

Zayne felt his eyes soften so much, as he held your hand, kissing your knuckles. “I will always stand up for you. You are my pride, you are my strength and you are my love. I am the luckiest man ever to have you in my life, my jasmine.”

You felt yourself smile so much, the inner child in you healing after so many years because she knew that her knight in shining armour was here now. With his protection, no one would harm you again.

Author’s note: hii you guys I hope you enjoyed reading this! Should I turn this plot into a series for the rest of the boys? Lemme know in the comments or feel free to send in any requests you have!🫶

[lizleeships]

I know this is a little bit strange because it’s months past due -and the toxic perfectionist that dwells in my skull really DID really hesitate to post this- but back in January I was too ill to finish this little story and then lost motivation because I was already too late. Still, since I was pretty fond of it (and the stupid hats), I recently decided to give it a “half finish” because I didn’t like leaving it incomplete. 

...AKA: I discovered “seraphinite” is a real stone and lost my entire damn mind.

Anyway, sketchiness aside, I hope you like it anyway.

(Please don’t repost; reblogs are fine.) 

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