#toxic family members

[ri0ting]

you may need to hear this: cut them off.

people know what they’re doing. there is an intrinsic human knowledge of how relationships & friendships are meant to work. you don’t need to teach them how to treat you like a person. yes, there is a learning curve to every relationship where you learn how to mesh with each other, but you should not have to advocate for being treated with basic human decency.

nobody brings enough to the table for you to willingly put up with mistreatment. if you are safe to leave, then this is optional, and you have a one-up over them in this situation. don’t threaten to leave, just go. even that is a waste of your time. they should already know how to treat other people like they’re human. there is no excuse.

[fanme25]

Sometimes, Family is not a big thing in the end

I know that some people must feel lonely not to have a family to spend the holidays with. I know it must not be easy. But, sometimes, i guess to feel lonely is not worse than live with toxic people. Families are not perfect. There are lot of fights.

I just keep thinking....would this people trade their loneliness to have a toxic family that doesn't let the person be her/himself? For a family that doesn't give you peace? Some families can be good, but many....are not like that. Trust me.

When you live with a toxic person for years, the only thing you want is to get away from your family. There is even a case of a tourist that is staying in my country that refused to come back to her family. So, yeah. To the people that suffer without a family and to others that also live with toxic people, i only hope you find peace in the end. It really sucks to get stuck with families like this.

When the person doesn't want to run away, she ends up taking drastic actions that i don't want to even think about it. It's just horrible, you know. I already planned to run away and never had that courage because i keep thinking about the ones i would hurt with this action.

So, yeah, guys. Stay strong and don't give up. It's not the end, you know? To the ones without a family, try to think positive that you're free to do whatever you want and to be yourself. Many people with a family can't do that. They get stuck with others that live with them and develop anger issues. Don't give up because you can archieve your dreams by yourself without having any one to bother you. It will be harder than it is with others that have family. Just not give up. You are not totally alone. Holidays are also days that pass pretty fast. They aren't the same as before anyway. Some of them are not totally special. Try to find comfort in churchs, friends if you have, in someone you trust or even in yourself. This goes to the people that have a family too.

To the people that have a toxic family, i don't know what to say because i can't even handle my anger with some people from my family. So, i'm still stuck. I literally have to do things hidden from my family....like post things on internet, write my stories....it's horrible, especially if you live in a conservative family. To live in a toxic family is the same as to live with many traumas since your childhood, including your fear of angering your mother and other things, making me develop a little disorder. I also can't do anything in my house because of my grandma. I can't sleep, I can't go to the bathroom, I can't listen to music, I can't eat.......the worse of all is that i can't even get angry at her or i become the villain to my family. I literally have to stay with her 24 hours.

I really try to have patience, but is hard. Parents say that their children are only being dramatic.....they can't even imagine they are 90% of the reason their children develop traumas.

[caroline-ds-world]

So I know most people won't read this or care really but I have to talk about it somewhere and most people I know irl don't understand or will just try to brush off the issues. I found out right after my birthday back in October that I'm pregnant, 3-4 weeks later I found out I'm having twins (scary(message me if you want to hear the genders or see the ultrasounds and stuff I'm not posting that here.)). Everything has been going fine and well up until about 2 weeks ago when I found out that one of the babies potentially has a heart defect, so excess stress and anxiety is not a good thing for me or the babies. (I've also started going to therapy for my anxiety but sometimes it's hard to express everything in such a short amount of time.)

But the reason I'm making this post is to rant about my families reactions to hearing the news cause I waited as long as I could to tell anyone on my side or the family because I knew they'd try to make it about them. My cousins first reaction was what I expected " oh well you know I've been wanting another baby and been having issues conceiving you can give one of them to me." (Trying to play it off as a joke.) My Aunt literally goes "why haven't you been talking to me?" Then in the next message I get from her before I can respond is "I can hardly walk my knee hurts so bad." Then she went and told all my other aunts who luckily have been chill about it for the most part. But the aunt who told everyone lives with her mother in law who has custody of her daughters sons. Because I've been taking my cousins daughter one day a week, this mother in law of my aunts is asking if I will take her grandsons who refuse to behave for anyone and I've told everyone I don't need that stress and why and everything but nobody is fucking listening to me about it. And it's pissing me off so fucking much.

Where do people get off on making a pregnant person stress so much they could lose their baby? Why does everyone have to know everything about everyone else? Do they really think their responses and shit don't have consequences? These are just some of the things I question about this but again, I don't figure anyone is reading this, I'm just ranting cause I needed to get it off my chest.

[myventingblogandrants]

[xxjessabugxx]

[artistkaila17]

Felt like this since 2016, with certain people in politics and certain family members that are part of my life now. 😂

Except for my mom. ♥

[fafi-shal]

Being in your twenties and your worst enemy is your uncle and his wife who are in their forties and patronize you and make low of every decision you make and wish you evil basically

[lelet-draws]

I’m trying to cut off my cousin who lives far from me and visits without warning. Now that the holidays are over, she is probably coming soon.

I feel like I’m in a horror movie waiting for that bitch to knock on the door and attack me.

[crazycatsiren]

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[quiet-storm]

Being an adult means you need to keep your head up, and you need to act civil amongst your peers. In the workplace, you need to know how to mold yourself to the people around you so that you'll be someone tolerable enough to work with.

But that's how we get swept under the rug. That's how we become forgotten.

No risks taken means you stay tolerable, and quiet..but it's comfortable, and good enough for now.

At the same time, we lose a little bit of ourselves by not taking risks, we lose a bit of our sanity, because we don't express ourselves the way we want.

Of course being who I want to be means losing relationships with others in the process. Those who accept me, stay, and those who don't, instead, stay away.

I took the risk. I stayed true to myself, but I lost a family member along the way. We no longer talk, we don't understand each other and reconciliation is a challenge. I tried to do something for myself for a change, and stopped being her personal doormat, but the moment I did that, became the moment I'm blamed for all the mistakes she's committed thus far. Those mistakes go away when I go back to being her doormat.

How did this workplace post turn into a mini blurb about family relationships? Well I suppose sometimes interacting with family becomes somewhat of a workplace environment.

It sucks...

[spoonful116]

Though it's best to escape from toxic people, sometimes it's not possible for whatever reason. When this happens, it's best to set and keep boundaries to protect yourself.

[danvssomethingorother]

I don’t think fans get how much Dick means to Bruce. I say he is Bruce’s favorite not because he doesn’t love the others, it’s because what Dick and his version of Robin symbolizes in the comics themselves.

He is the dawn after a long dark night. That’s why his outfit has always been bright?

Dick is literally Bruce’s foil. He is everything Bruce wanted for himself but freely gives to the only source of light in his life.

Alfred is important sure but you know who is always picking Bruce off the ground when he fails? Dick Grayson. And Bruce may fumble but by god he is always the first there when something happens to Dick (I didn’t say he made things better, just that it is clear he is trying to repay the devotion Dick has always gave him).

Bruce can not imagine his life without his oldest. It is a super toxic relationship and no this is not what a parent child relationship should be but for what it’s worth, even at this relationships most dysfunctional, it does work. When they come together they are unstoppable.

[markscherz]

Do you have a favourite rain toad? I love them. They're so round and look grumpy even though they aren't.

Did you know that there are arboreal rainfrogs‽

[src]

Meet the genus Callulina, from the rainforests of Tanzania and Kenya

[src]

Who said you had to be lithe to take to the trees?

[src]

You may not like it, but this is what Peak Performance looks like.

[xxjessabugxx]

Yup 💯 #true #toxicfamilymembers #toxicfamily #true #life #lifelessons

[inkbagel]

The sea is wine red, this is the death of beauty

It’s so over for me chat

[necrotic-nephilim]

for the ask game (1)

au where bruce is attracted to his robins and batgirls. he tries not to think about it or act on it, but it's getting more difficult with every new member of his team he acquires. does anyone know? do the robins and batgirls notice his weird behavior? what do they do about it? do they ever find out the truth? who would think it's terrible and who would find it strangely hot/comforting/nice? does bruce ever act on his feelings?

for the ask game!

oh my GOD do i have thoughts for AUs like this, i love this shit so dearly, dirtybadwrong Bruce who's trying to keep a lid on it my beloved.

i think the fun of this AU is if characters would notice Bruce lusting for themselves vs would they notice Bruce lusting for a different Robin/Batgirl. like does Dick pick up on it when it's just him and Bruce? no, because it's just. him and Bruce. he and Bruce are weird and complicated and hold endless bounds of nuance. that's just How Bruce Is, and Dick is the "test run", in a sense. he knows Bruce is new to this whole sidekick/family thing and is giving Bruce grace for being rough around the edges. but when Bruce starts looking at Jason or Tim or Cass that way, that's when Dick starts to notice. it's never enough of a suspicion he feels justified to bring it up, but the thought lingers. he's hyperaware and grows less and less comfortable with leaving them alone with Bruce. it's a weird game of chicken, Dick and Bruce staring each other down when Bruce's touch lingers too long. each waiting for the other to say something first. if Bruce ever broke and actually acted on his feelings, Dick would be eaten alive by the guilt of knowing something was up, but never saying something until it was too late.

obviously, Cass would know. there's no world where Cass *doesn't* know, the nature of who and what she is would immediately clock it. but the issue is, Cass doesn't have a good framework of what family looks like. she doesn't really understand familial vs romantic love bc she has no firsthand experience of what a parent's love should even look like. so she never calls it out. she just watches. i'm a fan of Cass believing this is normal and believing she too can express and act on attraction that's vaguely incestuous. maybe it's with Babs, maybe it's with Dick or Tim or Bruce himself. but she recognizes this as Normal and Accepted within the Batfamily, so it severely fucks up her understanding of familial love and i just. man it's my favorite thing about Cass in Batcest honestly, is how you can play with her lack of experience with love, boundaries, and sexuality.

Tim is the fun one for me. because my favorite flavor of BruTim is when Tim knows, as he agrees to be Robin, that there's a non-zero chance that Bruce is going to be Weird and agrees anyway because he's decided it's an acceptable risk. so Tim knows from the get-go because he's expecting it. if Bruce acts on his attraction, i think it's either with Tim or Cass first, because they're the most likely to confront him about it in a way that isn't entirely negative. Tim has accepted it's a possibility and Cass just seeks being loved and touched so. it leads to the first time someone's ever confronted Bruce about it. and the thing is, Bruce really doesn't like confrontation about his flaws. the first time Tim tries to imply he's okay with it, Bruce would lash out at the idea, tell Tim how inappropriate that is and benches Tim for a week. it'd probably take a united front from Cass and Tim to get Bruce to even *admit* to the attraction. still Bruce wouldn't allow it to happen and he brushes them off until finally, the dam breaks. it's fun if there's a cause like sex pollen, but i think it's *more* fun if it's just. a random fucking Tuesday and finally Bruce is at his limit. he has no real reason, there's nothing particularly different about that day's routine. he just sees Tim or Cass striping armor and sighs and gives in.

i don't think Steph, Jason, or Babs would notice until anything substantial happened. not because they're not wicked smart, but just because none of them were looking for it. Jason put Bruce on a pedestal when he was alive, and when he came back from the dead he wasn't close enough to be noticing Bruce's interpersonal dynamics outside of his narrow scope. Steph has no real framework for what healthy fatherhood looks like, so if Bruce's touches linger, if he stares too long, she just shrugs and assumes it's how it is. and Babs was just never quite close enough to Bruce to notice. if and when she notices, is when actual sexual things start to happen between Cass and Bruce. because Cass would see no reason to hide it. Babs would be pissed, but it'd be tricky to navigate. Cass would be an adult, even if she's only 18/19, so technically, she's old enough to be consenting. if nothing else, Bruce is a careful man. even when he breaks and gives in to his desires, he covers his tracks well. he makes sure he has enthusiastic consent and there's no legal recourse that could be taken. age of consent and all that. there's not much Babs can *do* other than try to tell Cass (and/or Tim) that this isn't normal or okay. not that it gets her anywhere, but god would she try.

by the time Duke comes along (if we venture out of the pre-Flashpoint era) i think it's a sort of. open secret, in the Batfamily. talked about in nothing but hushed whispers and knowing glances. at some point, they've all had sex with Bruce, caving all for different reasons. some more than others. Tim sees it as a duty, Cass sees it as a way of seeking comfort, Steph sees it as getting Bruce's approval for once, etc. it's never forced on them, but eventually, they all come to Bruce sooner or later. and that's the fun irony of it, i think. they try to convince the others not to, but would go to Bruce on their own well. because complicated reasons they can't put into words. sometimes, Bruce is just a messy man who doesn't realize how prized his Attention to for the rest of the Batfamily. that weird duality of not liking him, but also wanting desperately for him to like you. all of them have dealt with it, at some point. so for Duke, it takes a while for him to understand this... whole dynamic. it's Cass who tries to explain it to him, and he's a little horrified, a lot confused. especially when Bruce starts staring at him a little too long as well. i think he'd only want to watch first but well. they all cave eventually.

also fun bonus if we venture into the Dark Knight Returns universe for my bestest girl Carrie Kelley: there's such a like, "i'm fucking around and i'm finding out" vibe to Carrie. like Tim, she's very proactive in just. deciding she's going to be Robin and she's ready for whatever that entails. (IMO canon Carrie is closer to fanon Tim than canon Tim is but *that* deserves its own post-) like she takes one look at the old man that is Batman and goes yup. he's never fucking getting rid of me now. if Bruce started having weird feelings about her, i think she'd have *fun* with it. she's decided she's in it for the long haul and for whatever being Robin means so. she's almost teasing about it, seeing how hard she can push before Bruce snaps. since it's an older, gruffer Bruce, i think he'd express open annoyance at it first, almost a sort of banter about how Carrie behave. but of course he caves and Carrie leans into it, because there's a fun in having all of Bruce's attention to herself. in the main timeline, Bruce is pretty split with so many Robins and Batgirls, but during their era, it's *just* her and him and she's very proud she's got him all to herself.