#Certainly an interesting evolutionary choice

[markscherz]

Do you have a favourite rain toad? I love them. They're so round and look grumpy even though they aren't.

Did you know that there are arboreal rainfrogs‽

[src]

Meet the genus Callulina, from the rainforests of Tanzania and Kenya

[src]

Who said you had to be lithe to take to the trees?

[src]

You may not like it, but this is what Peak Performance looks like.

[grison-in-space]

it's been really interesting seeing your posts about harm reduction as a social policy, because I did vaguely know it was used on a macro level, but all of my personal interaction with the term has always been on a micro level, like therapists suggesting less risky forms of self-harm; that's an interesting and probably frustrating case of linguistic drift

Almost certainly! I don't think I've encountered it without the collectivist aspect very much, but then I'm usually running into it either in the context of activism or in the context of public health (or public policy). It's typically a philosophy I associate with collective practices and initiatives, not with individual choices, which might come down to a few different idiosyncrasies:

I like infectious disease, public health, and public policy a lot and have occasionally flirted with the idea of hauling my career in that direction a few different times in the past. I've never actually done it, but I still read in the field occasionally. So I'm used to thinking about problems from a lens of "with the resources available, what way is best to minimize bad outcomes and maximize good ones?"

I actually did train as a population geneticist and evolutionary biology before finding myself dragged into neuroscience and decision-making, and I still naturally think at the population level rather than at the individual level. I got really into phenotypic plasticity for a while, which is the field where you try to understand how and why, say, a juvenile organism who can develop into two different forms chooses which one to grow into. That amplified that tendency: you can think of a single decision as a unique moment in time, but you study decision making by aggregating hundreds or thousands of tiny decisions made by tens of animals over many trials. So: populations again. Really, you could sum both of those up with "I happen to be a scientist who spends a lot of time thinking about complex population level behaviors."

As an activist*, I associate arguments based on harm reduction with arguments based on expediency and efficacy: given X resources, what can we do as a community to achieve Y outcome? Implied in that argument is the understanding that Y is not going to happen unless my co-activists and I gear up and donate time and expertise (even if it's just knowing Microsoft Excel and being willing to be awkward in public) to make it happen. Even if Y is something like "how do we reduce the odds that kids in our community commit suicide?" It's the sort of thing that you say to recruit other people to help you do more of an activity that is important.

Harm reduction also ties very deeply in my head to the disability justice principle of the right to accommodation in pursuit of access. They're both philosophies that I would use to guide my choice of actions or my moral assessment of a situation, but I'm not sure I would characterize either as primarily a structure to motivate personal moral judgements, see what I mean? Both are political ideologies as much as anything else, and they exist beyond me.

I love that it's an aspect of the concept that you hadn't encountered before, though, and I really do encourage you to dig into it as a topic! I find it interesting and useful to learn about other people's political and activist successes and failures, and I think crucially I love the element of evidence based examination I see in harm reduction approaches to complex problems. It's very easy to get hung up on proxies for desirable or undesirable behaviors and try to inflate those proxies without referencing the actual deeper goal that inspired looking at proxies in the first place. If a behavior is risky and therefore undesirable, and so we find a way to make the behavior less risky, you get a lot of pushback from people who stopped at "the behavior is undesirable" and are now outraged that you are making that behavior "easier". Harm reduction exists as a philosophy to make it easier to identify that kind of mistake, so that we return our analysis to our true values (people don't get hurt) rather than our proxy values (people don't do risky behaviors that could hurt them).

*explaining things on the internet is not a primary form of activism unless I am making an effort to modulate my tone, presentation, and communication with a specific goal in mind: if I'm in Teacher Mode, if you will. Right now, I am not in Teacher Mode, I am fucking around with my vape in my back yard and engaging in a reasonably satisfying autistic lecture to the Internet, which is where I get to bring out the fun profanity. You can tell because a few hours ago I addressed someone as "fuckstick," which is not the kind of thing that is generally effective when I am wearing my activism hat. I am way more friendly in activism mode. (This is because I learned how to do activist work in the context of asexuality awareness, which means that I have been asked in almost every imaginable kind of awkward situation about my masturbation habits in environments, and at that point you get really, really good at performing friendly accessibility.)

[loquaciousquark]

I just saw a close-up of githyanki eyes which reminded me: I am very curious about the shape of their pupils! It is almost certainly, like other aspects of gith biology, a deliberate design choice on the part of the illithids, so what were they designing for? What does that shape do? What does the world look like to a gith?

I actually had to do a little research for this, but I imagine it's because the illithids wanted to aim for the pupil design of ambush predators, like small cats.

Human eyes, which have round pupils, on average have a difference of non-dilated-to-dilated state of about 15x. That is, when you're fully dilated (such as being in a dark room), your eyes let in about 15x normal lighting. This allows for decent night vision after several minutes of adaptation.

When ambush predators like household cats dilate, though, they use much stronger dilator muscles to dilate about 135x their natural resting pupil state, which lets in a hugely increased amount of light. (This is also why watching cats' eyes fully dilate is typically much more dramatic and interesting than watching humans' eyes dilate.) This gives them huge advantages in dark and crepuscular conditions when hunting prey.

Secondly, human eyes (with round pupils) have pretty variable resting sizes; some people's pupils may hang out at 6-7mm even in the light, while others rest at a 1mm pinhole. People with naturally tiny resting pupils have much deeper depth of focus, meaning they have a larger depth range of things appearing clear compared to others. While great for reading text or looking at a phone, that's not as useful as a shallower depth of focus would be while hunting small, fast-moving animals. In that case, a hunter with larger pupils could use the blur depth to more precisely identify distances to their prey.

Cats' vertically slit pupils, on the other hand, provide the max bonuses possible from both stereopsis and blur depth in both bright and dark, which helps them identify exactly how far away a small target like a mouse might be, even low to the ground. Even in dim conditions where they might be partially dilated, they'll still get some blur information that humans wouldn't, which evolutionarily would help them hunt better with less effort.

(Curiously, less stealthy & less small cat hunters like lions and tigers have round pupils, which implies that overall size & lowness to the ground does come into play here.)

Basically, I think they were going for this ambush predator evolutionary advantage. Practically speaking, that also means every time Lae'zel gets excited or woken up from sleep, her eyes should have been completely black, fully dilated pits. Forget about Avernus; someone make this mod instead!

(Banks, M. S., Sprague, W. W., Schmoll, J., Parnell, J. A., & Love, G. D. (2015). Why do animal eyes have pupils of different shapes?. Science advances, 1(7), e1500391.)

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

Thoughts on the creature designs from Avatar? (Blue cat people avatar not Airbender avatar)

oh geez, I've only ever watched the first movie lol. There are so many creatures on the wiki, I don't think I can easily go through and analyze all of them in detail. In general, I think they did a pretty good job of making interesting alien creatures! there is a clear amount of thought put into the ecosystem of the world, how various creatures are connected to each other in an evolutionary way, and how they interact within their food chains.

the fact that pretty much all of them have the antennae things with the brain tendrils and it's so easily opened and able to interact with the brain tendrils of other creatures certainly is. an interesting choice that lends itself well to the "indigenous people have a magic connection with nature" thing the movies are so heavily focused on. but i don't think that's a very plausible evolutionary trait.

to my knowledge, the Na'vi are the only creatures able to actually make use of that trait in order to bond with their ride animals, I'm not sure the first movie ever shows any other creatures doing it with like, their mates or offspring. maybe the second movie shows it.

interspecies compatibility for brain tendril bonding is something i would like to see more reasoning for beyond "bad metaphor for a stereotype about indigenous people". especially since they could even do it with those spirit trees. I don't mind having magic in my scifi, but considering the real world context of this being a really weird space pocahontas movie, I do think it could all be given a better explanation.

Also they're cowards for not giving the Na'vi six limbs like all the other mammalian-adjacent creatures.

[cutekittenlady]

Tumblr Plays Pokemon?

I have a sudden urge to play more pokemon.

Why?

Probably because I love pokemon. And also because I'm returning to some big time Faves. I'm rereading and rewatching One Piece, I've returned to writing a Voltron fanfic I started 3 years ago, and I am (once again) relistening to Discworld (I'm trying to pick something new up okay! But its hard, so very hard, to top Pratchett.)

With that in mind though I wanted to make this playthrough more interesting.

And so I want to try playing pokemon in a new way by exploiting Tumblrs polling system. Essentially I am going to leave it up to YOU to decide things like what starter I use and what pokemon I catch in each route/area. I'll do this by making a series of polls up to the point in which I have to fight a gym leader, rival battle, etc.

I'll have some control over this given I'll be making the poll, and obviously the results will rarely be unanimous given the nature of how the polls themselves function. After all there is a limit of 8 options per poll, so in later games when there are multiple pokemon available on each route, multiple polls may need to be created to narrow down a choice.

And this isn't including the fact that you all may vote for me to abstain from capturing any pokemon on a certain route until later. Some routes in some pokemon games, after all, can hide deceptively good pokemon that you can only obtain by returning there after obtaining an essential HM.

So thats it right? Tumblr gets to decide what pokemon I can catch and who will be on my team?

Oh but tumblr. Dear sweet Tumblr. My wonderful followers.

I want to make it more interesting than that.

You see the thing I looove about pokemon are the stories you can tell. All the different team compositions, all the little characters your pokemon can become as you play, and all the little ways you can make the game potentially more difficult, yet oh so very interesting at the same time.

With that in mind I propose a set of... RULES.

I can only catch a single pokemon from every route (otherwise the polling is just pointless)

I can only catch a single member of every evolutionary family (no armies of eeveelutions, Sorry gang, I like them but thats been done to death.) So no owning multiple members of the same evolutionary family.

I can only attempt to catch a pokemon ONCE and if I fail I can never catch a member of that species again. Fail to catch Pidgey on route 1? Well too bad, looks like I dont get Pidgey, Pidgeotto, or Pidgeot for the WHOLE GAME. (This is to make the catches more memorable/meaningful and consequential.)

I can only have a single pokemon from every type. This makes every team member essential and meaningful and consequential. No bulking myself up with a team of only psychic types.

The team can have no repeat natures. Our team needs varied personalities after all! Personalities that are too similar will clash and mess with team synergy!

If we have to have a dedicated team member for HMs, then they're going to be a full member of the team and count towards the typing AND nature rules. No mules or slaves on this team. If we have a Bibarel for the HMs then they're GONNA be a member of the team.

All these rules are rather restrictive, BUT they will make the polls you guys vote in more consequential!

Do you vote to skip a route to try and get a better pokemon later? Do you vote for a weaker earlier route pokemon for early type advantage while passing up on bigger powerhouses down the line? Do you sacrifice having dedicated type coverage in favor of having a reliable HM user to access more areas, items, tms, etc? Do you vote for a pokemon with a lower easily achievable catch rate, or risk your vote on a higher stronger catch?

Do you vote for the popular pokemon you know everyone will vote for? Orrr do you decide to make the voting, and subsequent results, more interesting by voting for an underdog?

I'm certainly interested in finding out.

But before that, a decision needs to be made.

((I still have an active save for ScarVio and I'm still iffy on how to adjust certain rules for its open world setting which is also why I'm leaving SwSh out for now. If this turns out successful, we could maybe hash out how to apply the ruleset to those games down the line but for now I'm just putting in the limitations for my own convenience XD))

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

Out of curiosity will u b making the state bird polls for every state or just the ones w boring birds? Or is it just fair game for me to slide into ur ask box & complain abt state bird choices?

I personally have a bone to pick w the nene goose of Hawaii, sure they're endemic to the islands & on the endangered species list but tht isn't anything new for many species in Hawaii, the nene isn't the prettiest it doesn't have a pretty call bc it is a goose after all but I guess it's cool how the goose literally evolved to lose the webbing of its feet so it could hang out on lava rock

But I submit tht there r many other species just as worthy tht r equally endemic!! The Hawaiian Honeycreeper r endemic for example! If ur looking for a bird w a connection in some vague way to the volcanoes tht made the islands & the Goddess Pele the 'Apapane is worthy of attention, this bird forages for insects & nectar & their favorite tree is the 'ohi'a tree which has a direct connection to the Goddess Pele! If it's a concern of raising awareness abt endangered status then the Palila is another one to consider especially since it is classified as critically endangered!! The Pueo is an endemic sub species of short eared owls & still holds significance in the cosmology of Indigenous Hawaii!!!

I know there r more but these r the birds I always found way more iconic to the state than the nene goose idk

Well, to answer your first question, I'll be hitting every state! The territories are also fair game, but that's a LONG way down the road. But, yeah, the 50th state is absolutely on the list, albeit very last! And I fully agree. The Nēnē (Branta sandvicensis) is most certainly an iconic resident of the Hawaiian Island, and it's got a unique evolutionary history, but it's also far from the only endemic of the islands. I very much agree that the Hawaiian honeycreepers deserve quite a bit of focus (I have a soft spot in my heart for the 'I'iwi (Drepanis coccinea), personally), and they'll be recieving attention in the post for the state. The Pueo is also a great suggestion, and I haven't given owls nearly enough attention in my posts thus far! There's also the chance for something funny to happen, given the state that comes just before Hawaii.

And as you've pointed out, some other options come to mind, including some non-endemics that depend on the state for their global population...and at least one of those is incredibly interesting...but those are spoilers for another day! Thanks for the question! Hope you enjoy the posts and polls until then! Gonna have a bit to wait, but stay tuned!

[theloniousbach]

RETIREMENT CHRONICLES 2.0, but actually 3.0

I am calling this one RC 3.0 to acknowledge the version I wrote as RC 1.5 in January to reflect on Winter Break really should have been 2.0. That break month was sufficiently different from the the subject of RC 1.0 I wrote in December about that first semester away from the desk job. RC 2.0 took up an interlude where I wasn’t teaching and therefore my time was more my own. RC 4.0 will be three months of the asterisk of my retirement with an asterisk will shrink. It won’t disappear as I will be preparing for fall classes, including with the help of some talented students, and working remotely to welcome the next group of Gleich Scholars. But I won’t be teaching nor going to campus.

Clearly my time remains tied to the school year and, as part of retiring TO something and not merely FROM the day job, I have continued to use the semester to define my pursuits almost as self-directed courses. The semester is long enough to see growth develop while being sufficiently circumscribed to allow assessment.

So, this is my report card.

As for the ASTERISK of my retirement with same, I found teaching two courses easy enough. It certainly helped that I had two exceptional classes, each had returnees and folks I knew through advising including Gleich Scholars. That the several new students were fully integrated and, often enough, central players was particularly rewarding. I also had help from Gleichers in the planning. Taken together, it all made possible among my more successful forays into building community and giving students the opportunity to take hold of the material on their own terms. I doubled/tripled down on student choice of projects and formats and even deadlines so that I wasn’t cop and they were responsible, albeit with some nudging, for getting it all in. My Fall class had been unusually frustrating, so these two helped make for a better year.

There were some OUT OF THE ORDINARY elements to the semester that impacted my progress on my self-assigned projects.

My sister’s DEATH, anticipated though it was, was sobering as my birth family is all gone and so I mourn her and revisit the earlier loss of my parents. I have not tried to anticipate those feelings or wrap them up too neatly by writing about them. I knew there was going to be emotional energy but I could not anticipate the emotional energy required. So I have just allowed that process to unfold (as if I could stop it).

My trip to the GALAPAGOS was a cheerier distraction. I went to many Friday afternoon class sessions in preparation where I got to see the students form research projects and discuss more recent literature on evolutionary topics. I wasn’t the teacher nor was my engagement with the reading as practically driven as the students’, but I grew very fond of them even ahead of the bonding experience of the travel. There were airline woes and I was sick enough to be hospitalized in Quito for two days, the end result that our 11 days of travel resulted in only about 5 days on the Islands, one of which, for me, was given over to laying low. But it was glorious and I’m so glad I could be part of it.

I also joined a Substack class called JOURNEY IN PLACE which provides weekly readings and thought provoking writing prompts on this topic that is at the center of my pedagogy. Janisse Ray, our instructor, comes out of nature writing and directed us to adopt a place as a reference point. Ever the contrarian, my place is the Marquette hut’s beach/lake vistas. I have to visit it in my mind but that suits my historian’s interest in memory and meaning. My responses to the prompts is often therefore at a tangent. For all my interest in natural history and ecology, it’s probably true that my approach owes even more to human geography and JB Jackson’s ideas on the vernacular landscape. Our work on place is very human centered���and I’m inclined to keep people in nature too. I’ve not read my classmates’ contributions but take some pleasure, I confess, that they are reading and “liking” mine.

On to my assigned PROJECTS:

SELF-CARE continues to be a central activity and that attention pays off. Even at my sickest, I knew that the ancillary services at PALM would speed up my recovery. I didn’t workout as such for the week before we left and two weeks after, but I am back to a new routine that is transportable (with resistance bands) up north. I have begun alternating sauna/steam with the mats as part of my exercise recovery. And, we have home versions of the mats. I bet that yoga will be closer to daily rather than 2-3 times a week as it’s been.

My FICITION writing suffered as I wrote only about 3000 words in three clearly not sustained bursts. I had a crisis of confidence that I wasn’t much of a mystery novelist—and I probably am not. I am getting back on the bicycle by thinking of myself as a historical novelist, certainly the puzzles that intrigue me is laying my Darwin/Holmes universe across historical events. I run the risk of being pedantic, particularly in this episode which does include a murder but a criminologically uninteresting one. I may not find my rhythm again until we get up north, but this writing has always been a retirement project.

Fiction READING has gone very very well. I am up to date in a British series where the hero is a PhD ecologist but a sixth book is coming. I have another contemporary one going where she’s a forensic archaeologist; I’m about halfway through that one and the books are available even electronically from the public library. I’m buying Lawrence Block’s Matthew Scudder books and am also halfway through those. I typically read all those series books in a couple of days, so I slow myself down with genre adjacent literary fiction with one more of LeCarre’s Karla trilogy to go but mostly the Patrick O’Brian Aubrey/Maturin Royal Navy books set in the early 1800s. It is interesting to step away from solving a murder and even so get my bearings in a story. I’m interested in character development and overall arc of a series, so that’s fine. It even has me thinking about 19th century novels, particularly French ones, as I risk falling off the English Major Anonymous Wagon.

Like fiction, MUSIC is two fold, doing and appreciating.

My guitar PLAYING has been steadier than my ficition writing, but not as steady as my music writing. I found myself getting a bunch of tunes in my hands (that is I know, just know, what strings to pick and how to work within the chord shapes to get a melody) in the key of D, so drop D finally makes sense. I also recovered some flatpicking tunes from previous lessons to go with the three of six fiddle tunes from my Eric Skye tutorial. I will take the bass north as I hope that there is more time for playing there and that I can make some progress. The Drop D work might help with the scales that playing a non-chordal instrument draws on. I got a blues piano tutorial that may get me off square one on that instrument, but I can’t take the piano along. So that’s for the fall.

My music WRITING continues with some interesting growth as I wrote 47 of my souvenirs of performances (many of more than one show) plus three contributions to the WGTE Jazz Spectrum blog. I don’t know if there were half again as many performances as souvenirs, but I do watch lots of music. I’ve tried to recover some of the joy of experiencing the music, rather than watching to write, particularly when I revisit regular favorites. To use a baseball analogy, my scorecard is less extensive and I’m trying just to watch the game. The JS pieces are a bit more work as I am writing for a very good editor who nonetheless trims my wings. He makes the writing better, but, like joke telling and baseball hitting, if three out of ten of my attempts at stretching things succeed, then it’s a success. I try to do my editing after writing an exuberant draft with all the stretches in there. But, those drafts are more constricted than the souvenirs.

In the three months ahead with much less time devoted to school, I want to find ways to exercise and recover from same away from Palm, write fiction regularly, keep reading, play guitar and bass in systematic ways, and watch music and write about it as I always do. I will continue to Journey in Place having journeyed to northerly places, including the Place in Marquette.

That will be the subject of RC #4.

[ask-the-royal-absol]

*Kader listened to the story, nodding as detailed were being spoken. He couldn't help but flinch at the mention of the dusknoir present in this story. Everyone knew a ghost type would cause nothing but trouble. They were the ones that would take your soul to consume so Life could not help it when you eventually passed on. That part about the evolution being a combination between a gallade and a gardevoir did intrigue him the most. He didn't think it would be possible. A fusion between the two. What was that like? What would it even look like? Kader tried to imagine it in his head but he just couldn't get a logical image to form. Perhaps he would have to ask more on that.*

Kader: Your story is certainly one filled with both interest and sadness. I am sorry you had to run from home to acquire what you desired. It must have been a difficult choice for you. Though, I do understand what you must have been feeling. Are you certain that trusting that dusknoir was the right call, however? And what of those dragons you mentioned? Though, it seems you have had a rather interesting life after. Dragons, you mentioned? Incredible. I have not seen a dragon myself as the dragons left our kingdom centuries ago.

Kader: Oh, my evolution story is not quite as exciting as yours. Our kingdom does not have many evolutionary stones in its possession. However, that all changed on the day of my sister and I's 16th birthday. My mother and father, who were the queen and king of Whimsain at the time, were able to gather a single dawn stone. They had their attendants travel to Terrestria to try and obtain one for our kingdom. It was a beautiful gemstone, cut to perfection. It was marvellous. The energy that radiated from it was just...wow.

Kader: My father said that one of us could have the gift of becoming a gallade, which could allow for a stronger bond with the kingdom of Terrestria. That was a huge opportunity for one of us. I was rather indecisive in whether I should or not so I allowed my sister to make her decision first. She was quite thrilled with the prospect. A chance to get stronger. She has always been one to find beauty in the art of combat. And so she accepted the dawn stone with excitement in her eyes. I was awfully happy for her. To see her evolving then and there. It was a spectacle. The gallade evolution definitely suited her well.

Kader: It was then my turn to make a decision about whether to evolve now or wait until my family were able to acquire another dawn stone, something which I knew was an awfully rare thing to obtain. I, instead, chose to evolve at that moment. I could not let my sister have all of the glory at our birthday haha. My mother held out the rare candy, a food item that my kingdom is most well known for, that I needed to gain that final level for evolution and then it happen. It was honestly rather magical. I felt as if I had grown to be who I was always meant to be. Though, it did not make me taller than her which is an awful pain, considering I am the oldest of us. I do sometimes wish to know what I would have looked like as a gallade but I do not regret my choice in the slightest. I know my sister is still happy with her choice.

Kader: Speaking of sisters, I am rather curious about yours. A combination between both evolutions sounds rather fascinating. I cannot imagine it. What is it like for her? Do you know?

*Kader approached Romeo, seeming quite happy about that fact. He reminded him a bit of his sister.*

Kader: Greetings! It is ever so nice to meet another similar to myself here. My form is not of its usual self but I just so happen to be a gardevoir. Funny what the gods do when they have the time. How are you enjoying yourself here? I am aware of the plentiful of activities which this event has to offer. Have you partaken in any as of yet? I also would like to ask, as my curiosity is high for this particular subject, what made you decide that a gallade was the right evolution for you?

Romeo: The hot springs really did help me back there...since I got turned into a giant block of ice. luckily were just getting started. I wanted to try out the carols or even the snowball fights out here. And you, a Gardevoir? Ain't that something. I believe ya, since your colors kinda shows it. Romeo stops for a second. remembering the last question Kader asked him.

Romeo: Back then where I was from, I used to live a noble life since my Dad is a member of this organization called 'The merchant alliance'. He wanted either me or my sister Joline to take part of his career as a member of this lead council he's in. But I was never meant to cut out on being a boring delivery boy. I wanted to be an adventurer, those rescue squads I heard about. Just like my Grandpa.

Romeo: Of course my Dad refused us of becoming adventurers. Until one day when my sister evolved into...well...both. She became both a Gardevoir AND a Gallade...a Gardilade some mons would say. Wasn't sure how it was possible but I'm led to believe it could be mutation. Next thing I know, she became a member of the Iron hearts. One of the lands toughest guards and she became their captain in just a couple years. My Dad chose to take that acceptation on Joline's part, leaving me to take my Dad's career and forbid me otherwise. I never liked where things were going, So...I ran away from home, and decided to join the rescue guilds. Only to realize the hard way that people won't accept me because of my fragile state. I was desperate on following my dreams so I trained for days. Until an opportunity arrived. A Dusknoir named Maphisto told me he can make my dreams come true. He can turn me into a powerful Gallade and everyone will respect me as a hero. I was naive back then but after hearing what I wanted to hear.

Romeo: And the next thing I know, I became a Gallade just like that. I finally got to be a member of the rescue squad and began my own adventure. And oh boy, it was quite a blast I tell ya. I went all sorts of quests like saving Princesses from Dragons, going into bizarre places to collect rare artifacts and substances, making peace deals from conflicts between clans, fighting off a time traveling Mariachi band that one time. I loved those days. So yeah, I just thought becoming a Gallade was the right move on my part. Don't get me wrong, I bet being a Gardevoir is awesome as well. It would be really cool that I can use psychic and move things around like one of those jedis from those movies I watched.

Romeo: Hey, now I kinda wanna ask now. Why did you become a Gardevoir? Was it a tough decision?

[sankirtan]

Do animals have morality? Akhandadhi das: There have been a number of scientific studies recently that try to analyze if animals have any form of morality. This is obviously complex since it is nigh impossible to get inside the mind of a poor dumb creature and there is always the accusation of anthropomorphizing. The subject is important to many people because there seems to be various beliefs with vested interests in the interpretations. For instance, Charles Darwin believed that animals expressed morality and that what we understand as morality in humans was derived from the primitive form in lower creatures. This is important as the basis for evolutionary psychology. This was in direct contrast with Biblical creationists who need to believe that there is a major moral distinction between humans and the animal kingdom. In their mind, morality is the prerogative of the soul which can only be found in humans. I suppose I also need to mention my preconception informed by my interest in Vedanta philosophy. Vedanta asserts that all living beings are activated by the presence of the life force (atma or soul, if you like). Although there is no difference in the potency of the atma whichever type of body it inhabits, there is a limiting or conditioning effect when the soul is inside different species. The result is a hierarchy of conscious awareness from humans down through the species to a bacteria or whatever. So, Vedanta, in common with the evolutionary psychologists, would expect to see humanlike expressions in our fellow inhabitants of planet Earth. There are many examples of caring behavior in the animal world. Certainly, we see the care, even sacrifice, of mother animals for their children. But also, certain primates will share and feed other blind or indisposed members of their group, not their relatives. In one experiment, chimps were receiving food by placing tokens in a machine. One chimp was having problems inserting the tokens, so another chimp intervened and inserted the tokens for her and let her take the food. Bonobo apes have shown kindness in helping other species. A friend of mine, tells of being rescued by dolphins who swam between him and some circulating sharks. The dolphins remained by his side until he reached the shore. So, it appears that animals may indeed exhibit altruism, empathy, caring and selfless kindness and affection – and that’s about as close to “love” as you can get. However, it is a different question to define this as morality, which would seem to require a choice between right and wrong. I would suggest that the altruistic behavior of animals is a choice of sorts. The animal sees a situation and chooses to intervene in a positive caring way, but is it because it is impelled by its empathy or because it has dwelt on the rights and wrongs of the scene? Caring action is a symptom of a moral human because we would define the opposite behavior as immoral. Would we ever describe a chimp as immoral for not choosing to help a neighbor? I don’t think so. So, as much as we are impressed and intrigued by animals showing empathy and caring, we don’t judge them when it is absent. So, it seems there may be a distinction between altruism in animals and moral choices made by humans. As much as Vedanta promotes the equality of all life, it also helps us to recognize the subtlely different restrictions or benefits for the soul as it transmigrates from life in one species to another. Vedanta accepts that all creatures express some form of love, but only when the soul is in a human body does it gain the additional awareness of the intrinsic rightness or wrongness of one’s own actions. My dogs know when they’ve done something I think is bad and they show contrition, but I reckon it’s only because I am upset with them, not because they have a guilty conscience. Vedanta ascribes the responsibility for our actions – good or bad – to humans and thus karma can only be accrued from human actions not by anything done whilst we are in an animal body.

[chelsfic]

Vampire Seeking Familiar - Nandor x Guillermo Fanfic (One-shot)

WWDITS Masterlist

Summary: Nandor places an ad for a human familiar and Guillermo responds. My take on how they first meet!

A/N: I woke up with the urgent need to write this. I was inspired watching Harvey’s AMA where he mentions that maybe Nandor placed an ad on Craigslist for a familiar. Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Fluff, Crack, Smooching, Light mention of sex (not explicit)

---

"Greetings, peasant. I require your assistance with the electronic computing device."

Nandor hulked over the reference desk, looking like an anachronism standing amidst the dull, institutional decor of the public library. He wore a floor length cape trimmed in gold embroidery over a brocade tunic and deerskin pants. He attempted an awkward smile, putting his fangs on full display.

He wasn't the strangest thing the librarian had seen that day.

“Sure,” she replied with a guarded smile. “What are you trying to do?”

"I am attempting to post an advertisement on a list kept by a man named..." he glanced down at a scrap of paper in his hand, "...Craig."

Ninety painstaking minutes later the librarian breathed a sigh of relief as the strange man finally clicked “publish.”

“Now, you just keep an eye on your email,” she kindly explained, “and wait for someone to respond.”

Nandor’s eyes lit up with a kind of hungry delight as he switched tabs to his empty Hotmail inbox.

“Your assistance has been most appreciated,” he thanked her, reaching into his tunic and flicking a heavy, gold coin in her direction.

She flinched as the coin flew at her head, awkwardly catching it and placing it beside the keyboard. 

“You’re welcome, Mr. Relentless. But I can’t accept a tip. Have a nice night.”

She stood up and walked back to her desk with a look of repressed hilarity on her face. She doubted anyone would reply to this guy’s post. But then, she reminded herself, she’d certainly seen stranger things happen…

Nandor clicked refresh and frowned when his email remained stubbornly empty.

---

Vampire’s Familiar (Staten Island)

Attention Mortals!

Do you weary of your pathetic human lives? Do you wish to find purpose in serving your evolutionary superior? Can you lift at least 50 lbs without assistance?

I, Nandor the Relentless, Conqueror of Thousands and Immortal Vampire, seek a human familiar to do my dark bidding. Duties include, but are not limited to, daytime errands, cleaning of a large mansion, laundry, personal valet services, securing the house against sunlight, blowing out candles, and waste disposal. The successful contender will be provided room and board for a fair rate ($1200/month) and the promise of eternal life after their term of service (length TBD).

If you possess the courage, kindly respond by electronic letter.

---

It had to be fake, right?

Guillermo sat in the break room at Panera Bread, idly scrolling through job ads on Craig’s List when the heading “Vampire’s Familiar” caught his eye. For a second he felt his stomach swoop with excitement before he got a hold of himself. It was probably just another jerk looking for attention. Guillermo knew in his heart that vampires were real, despite never having met one in real life. And it was his dearest, secret dream to become one of them. But so far, his internet sleuthing had uncovered nothing but a whole lot of pathetic internet trolls.

But what if this was the one?

He clicked the link, biting his nails as the text of the job posting loaded on the screen. He read through it, a smile tugging on his lips. He really shouldn’t get his hopes up, but his eyes kept darting back to that name. Nandor the Relentless. Conqueror of Thousands. What a cool vampire name.

He opened his Gmail app and started a new message.

---

Dear Nandor the Relentless,

My name is Guillermo de la Cruz and I am writing to you in response to your Craigslist posting seeking a human familiar. I have long been an enthusiastic admirer of vampires and it would be a dream come true to meet one and work for them.

I’m a responsible, hard worker who’s eager to learn new things. While I have never worked as a familiar before, I do have a background in customer service and a Bachelor’s Degree in History from Stony Brook University. I have attached a copy of my resume.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Guillermo de la Cruz

---

Guillermo suggested they meet at a Panera Bread on Staten Island because it was familiar and, more importantly, public. He was less worried about meeting an immortal, murderous creature of the night than he was about the possibility that the guy could turn out to be a regular human serial killer.

He picked a comfy armchair by the window and sipped his tea while he watched the door, feeling a thrill every time it opened. He was early. If this guy turned out to be the real deal, then he desperately wanted to make a good first impression. When a tall, darkly handsome man with long hair and a cape walked through the door Guillermo gulped and raised his hand in a shy wave.

“Nandor?” he asked, just to be sure. 

The man turned to him and there was no mistake. Guillermo’s breath caught in his throat. His skin was pale, almost glowing in the restaurant’s warm lighting. His eyes were dark brown and penetrating. Guillermo felt struck when the vampire’s gaze fell on him, as if he could see straight through him and into the most secret parts of his soul. He stepped closer, looming over Guillermo and looking somehow both self-important and unsure.

“And you are…” Nandor glanced upward, searching for the name. “Guy...Gil...Gilbert?”

“Guillermo,” he corrected with a shy smile. He shifted on his feet and adjusted his glasses nervously. He knew vampires were sexy by nature, of course. But he hadn’t been expecting to feel an immediate attraction to his prospective employer. This guy had his own gravity and he was sucking Guillermo in.

“Guillermo, of course.”

Hearing his name in the vampire’s rich, accented voice sent a tingle down his spine.

“Shall we, uh, sit down?” Guillermo stammered and then smacked a hand to his head, gesturing to the display case of pastries, “Unless you want something…?”

Nandor hissed dramatically and Guillermo got his first good look at his fangs. Honestly, he felt faint. This guy was either an excellent cosplayer or he was for real.

“Vampires cannot consume human food,” Nandor announced with a grimace of disgust. “Lesson number one.”

Nandor sat with a sweep of his cape and Guillermo followed suit.

“Oh! Of course! I have a lot to learn… Mr. Nandor--Mr. Relentless, sir,” Guillermo stammered, finally picking up his tea and taking a big gulp just to shut himself up.

“Master will do just fine,” the vampire replied as he adjusted the fall of his impressive cape around him. “That’s how you’ll refer to me if you get the job.”

“Oh! That’s--um,” Guillermo tilted his head and narrowed his eyes as he pondered the right word, “very...antiquated?”

“Well, hello! I’m a vampire! Kind of comes with the territory,” Nandor scoffed dismissively. “If you’re not interested--”

“No! No, I’m...I’m definitely interested,” Guillermo insisted, blushing furiously at his own words. He was interested...in more ways than one, apparently. He couldn’t stop glancing down at the vampire’s mouth, his full lips and the delicious hint of sharp fangs. God, what would it be like? To be bitten…

Nandor watched as the human’s full cheeks darkened with a blush. He parted his lips and inhaled longingly, scenting the sweet, spicy aroma of the man’s blood and barely suppressing a growl. 

He cleared his throat, shifting in his seat and abruptly asking, “So, you want to tell me a bit about why you are wanting to become my familiar?”

The interview--oh my god, I’m having an actual interview with an actual vampire!--flew by somehow. At first, Guillermo was all nervous stammers and sweaty palms, but after a few minutes he couldn’t help the natural urge to gush and he found himself barraging the vampire with fascinated questions. Not just about the job, but about himself. How old was he? Could he fly? Turn into a bat? Use mind control? What about sunlight, was that really a thing? Garlic? 

Rather than becoming annoyed, Nandor seemed to preen under the human’s obvious admiration. He held his head high and his word choice became increasingly grandiose as he waxed poetic about his existence as a creature of the night.

As the meeting finally wound down, Nandor turned his deep, liquid eyes on Guillermo, capturing him in his gaze as he spoke.

“Now, Guillermo, you must tell me one thing. If I choose you for this job, are you willing to give up all this,” he gestured around at the interior of the Panera Bread. A cashier wiped down the glass display case and an infant wailed somewhere in the back of the dining area. “And come and live with me, putting yourself under my control and becoming subject to my dark power?”

Guillermo gulped down his nerves, feeling the momentousness of the occasion as he whispered, for the first time, “Yes, master…”

“Wonderful!” Nandor cried with a clap of his hands. “I will reach out to you through the ether after the checking of your background.”

The vampire stood, moving away from the table before Guillermo could formulate a response.

“The...ether?” he finally asked, his brows knitting together in confusion. “How will that work?”

Nandor waved away Guillermo’s confusion with a flick of his wrist and answered, “Very simple. My voice will come to you in the evening before you are a falling into the slumber.”

Guillermo was silent for a beat, wondering how this answer was meant to clear up his confusion. 

“Right,” he finally murmured. “Of course…”

Nandor turned to stalk out the door and Guillermo jogged after him, “Wait! There’s just...just one more thing, before you go.”

Nandor turned back with an annoyed expression, “Yes, what is it? I’m getting pretty hungry over here!”

Guillermo choked down an enthusiastic squeak at this admission and attempted to school his features into neutral calm as he asked, “How do I know you’re legit? Can you...show me proof?”

Nandor’s eyes darkened and he seemed to grow even taller as he turned his full focus on the human man, “You require proof? You require proof from Nandor the Relentless, who has twice turned the waters of the Euphrates red with his enemy’s blood. Proof, you say?!”

“Yeah,” Guillermo shrugged, holding onto what he hoped was an aloof calm as he quaked internally.

Nandor sighed and rolled his eyes as he answered, “Fine! Come with me. Fu-cking guy…”

He led Guillermo to the alleyway behind the Panera. During the day you might find a delivery truck back here or an employee taking out the garbage, but it was deserted at this hour of the night. Nandor stomped ahead of Guillermo, clearly aggravated at this request. He stopped and turned to face the human with a dramatic flare of his cape.

“Prepare your puny mortal brain,” he warned and then, without ceremony, he transformed into a bat.

Guillermo gasped, his face splitting into a wide grin as the tiny, squeaking thing flew circles around his head, landing in the lush curls of his hair for an instant before taking flight once more and erupting back into his vampiric form.

Guillermo rushed up to Nandor’s side, positively gushing, “It’s true! You’re real! A real vampire! Oh my god, I--”

Nandor suddenly broke out into an aggrieved hiss, grimacing and turning his face away.

“Watch it with that shit!” he complained loudly. “You can’t say...the g-word around vampires! You understand?”

Guillermo tilted his head in confusion for a second before realization lit his eyes.

“Oh! The g-word, of course! I’m...I’m sorry, master. I promise I’ll learn quickly,” he babbled. Now that he knew for certain that Nandor was a vampire, he was desperate to land this job. It was everything he’d dreamed of since he was a little kid first watching Antonio Banderas as Armand.

“Yeah, well--you’d better!” Nandor griped, but his face smoothed into a self-satisfied smirk at Guillermo’s obvious hero worship. A thought occured to him as he watched Guillermo’s adoring gaze. “There’s one more thing--I’ve just remembered. You can never fall in love with me, human. I know a lot of vampires who get into the whole sex thing with their familiars and it always ends up...messy. Understand? That’s a condition of your employment.”

Guillermo felt his face once again heating up with mortification. Had he been so transparent?

“Of course, master. I understand,” he murmured. 

Nandor nodded, looking satisfied with Guillermo’s answer.

“Alright, then. Remember, you will hear my voice through the ether! Night, night!”

And then Nandor braced his knees and leaped into the air, soaring over Guillermo’s head and into the night sky.

“Wow!” Guillermo sighed, watching the tiny pinprick that was his vampire disappear into the darkness. “He’s so fucking cool…”

---

Some years later…

Guillermo sat in the fancy room with his legs tucked up underneath him, typing away on his laptop as Nandor fed another piece of wood to the fire. He paused long enough to enjoy the view of his boyfriend’s ample (yet firm!) backside as he bent over the fireplace. 

“Guillermo,” Nandor started, dragging out the last syllable adorably. “What are you working on over there?”

“Why don’t you come here and see?” Guillermo replied with a shy smile. He patted the cushion next to him. He was still bashful about flirting with his master. Their relationship had finally--finally!--advanced after years of longing and pining. But even after a week of learning everything Nandor had to teach him about the joys of vampiric sex, he still felt unaccountably shy about their new relationship status.

Nandor settled down beside him, pressing their sides together and peering down at the thin computing contraption with a look of trepidation. 

“You need to be careful with these things, Guillermo!” Nandor admonished, wrapping an arm around his familiar and pressing his face into the warm crook of his neck. He breathed in his delightful scent before continuing, “There are witches on the internet who can curse you through the electronic post!”

“Don’t worry, mas--Nandor. I’m being very careful,” Guillermo assured him. 

The night they first made love, Guillermo had been overwhelmed, beside himself with a heady mix of physical sensations and emotions. He’d cried out at Nandor’s touch, using the title that he’d been trained to use for almost a decade. Nandor had felt his stomach drop and ice flow through his veins at the sound. “No...no, my Guillermo. Call me Nandor. Please. Call me by my name…”

“What do we have here…?” Nandor pondered, squinting his eyes as he read the text on the screen. “Guillermo! What is this all about!?”

“You said it yourself, Nandor,” he replied with a sly smirk. “Not falling in love with you was a condition of my employment…”

The words hung in the air between them for a moment and Guillermo felt as though he’d just opened up his chest and revealed his beating heart to the vampire’s hungry gaze. 

Nandor’s dark eyes softened and sparkled in the firelight as he murmured, “Oh, my Guillermo… I--I love you too.”

Nandor took the laptop and set it on the coffee table before taking Guillermo into his arms and laying kiss after kiss across his sweet face. 

“Are you ready?” Nandor’s voice was hushed. Guillermo looked up at him and was awestruck all over again at his luck. That such a man could love little ole Memo.

“Yeah, just--hang on a sec,” he said, leaning over Nandor’s lap to reach the computer and hitting “enter.” He fell back into Nandor’s arms, looking up at him with perfect trust and saying, for the last time, “Yes, Master. I’m ready.”

---

Vampire Couple seeking Human Familiar (Staten Island)

Do you long to explore the hidden world of magical creatures all around you? Do you have a strong stomach? A career as a vampire’s familiar might be for you!

Nandor the Relentless and Guillermo the Great seek a human assistant to do their dark bidding...

[radramblog]

Some longer thoughts on Pokemon BDSP

I think at this point the absolute vitriol-fest thrown at the upcoming Sinnoh Remakes has largely died down, people moving onto greater things like the upcoming New Pokemon Snap release (I’m probably not buying it) or…whatever it is the #mainstreamPokemonFandom does when they aren’t spewing outrage about trees and dexits. It might be a bit early for me to do this considering the games still don’t have a release date, but I figure with the hype dying down a bit I can afford a few of my own thoughts as to what these games should look like.

Of course, we’ve all been burned before, and I’m not expecting an awful lot. But hey, it’s just my two cents.

I think the first thing that made people immediately bounce off of the BDSP reveal is the artstyle. And, I get it- it’s certainly A Choice. The models look kinda awkward, almost hearkening back to Gen VI’s first attempts at full 3D overworld but with a more deliberate style. The short, round characters look awkward against the more detailed overworld. And the full sized models aren’t especially impressive either- all the previous remakes updated the original’s character designs somewhat, as did third versions Emerald and Platinum, but BDSP doesn’t seem to have made any changes outside of model-ifying them.

And the thing is, I don’t care?

On the one hand, aesthetic in a game obviously does matter, and having the protagonist you’re going to be staring at all game look like that is going to be an issue for people. On the other, I actually really like how the overworld looks. On the other, other hand, I’m really not convinced that the artstyle of this game should make or break it, as it certainly doesn’t for me. Pokemon’s graphics have been arguably behind the curve for like, 8 years now? I remember all the complaints about Sword and Shield’s graphics, and that obviously didn’t kill that game. And like, I don’t want to go for the throat of a game I haven’t played, but, people don’t seem to mind Colosseum and XD’s artstyle from what I’ve seen, and those games kinda look like shit. They do have those dynamic pokemon animations though, and I hope we get to see that in BDSP- those (and that of Battle Revolution) were a result of outsourcing, I believe, and this game is outsourced to another studio.

More importantly, in my eyes, is the gameplay. Doesn’t matter how good the game looks if it plays like garbage. And herein lies the biggest sticking point, and potential blunder, of Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl.

Diamond and Pearl are like, easily some of the worst games in the series from a playthrough standpoint.

The pacing is all over the place, with backtracking that seems to be trying to emulate RSE but not quite making it. The level curve is messy, with the Elite Four being such a massive spike that they had to tone it down 4-5 levels on each Pokemon in the intentionally harder third version, Platinum. The regional Pokedex is sorely lacking- while Elite Four Flint’s infamous 2/5 “Fire” team is eminently memeable, Electric Gym Leader Volkner is just as bad (2/4, though he could technically be running…Pachirisu…), and of the 28 new Pokemon related to previous games’ evolutionary lines, 17 cannot be obtained in a regular playthrough. HM use is especially egregious in this game, with 6 of them being mandatory to complete the game (Victory Road alone requires 5) and of the other two, the games’ sprawling map and frequent backtracking basically necessitate Fly while without Defog the foggy parts of the map are absolutely miserable both to navigate and fight through.

How BDSP handles these issues is kinda my make or break with the game. See, a lot of the issues were solved in Platinum, and Heartgold and Soulsilver (the best remakes the series has had) solved much of the issues in GS by taking notes from Crystal and tweaking things in the transition. The thing is, the last remakes we got, Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, did not take Emerald’s tweaks in mind, making them substantially worse games than they could potentially have been, and I’m worried BDSP are going to do the same. A particular sticking point for me is the HMs, interestingly- outside of the aforementioned Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire sticking too closely to outdated design, Pokemon for the last 4 generations has had light to nonexistent HM requirements. Black and White only had one mandatory HM use period (Cut in the Dreamyard after Gym 1), B2W2 and XY both only require Surf off the top of my head, and Gens 7 and 8 remove them completely from the game. Because that’s kind of what they are, outdated game design- I think the Alola games handled it best, where the interesting level design these obstacles can lead to is still present but tackling them is less restrictive on your party and is based on progression through the story. That’s the kind of design that makes backtracking interesting, something Gen 8 really lacked in the long run.

The final thing I want to bring up is kinda a combo of two things- postgame and connectivity. One would argue that the Battle Frontier is also outdated design based on development priorities, but it’s removal in ORAS was kind of a kick in the taint to fans- it’s a beloved part of the game, and it not being in BDSP would be a terrible shame. The other thing is whether or not the games will have online connectivity with Sword and Shield as far as trading and battling goes. While I’ve heard quite a few people express doubts that BDSP will do so, I’d be shocked if, unlike every other main series title, competitive battling stayed a primary function of Sword and Shield and BDSP didn’t get it. I’d also be surprised if the games weren’t able to trade with each other, considering that’s been a core facet of the series since day 1- not being able to trade would make Dexit feel more permanent almost, considering many, many of the Sinnoh Dex mons aren’t available to play at the moment, even with the expanded DLC Pokedex in Sword and Shield. In fact, one thing I noticed that leads me to believe that trading between games is absolutely going to happen is related to said DLC dex- namely, that the Crown Tundra added every single Fossil Pokemon to the SwSh Pokedex- except the Sinnoh ones, Cranidos and Shieldon.

 At the end of the day, we’re just waiting for more information to come out for these games either way. I can tell you right now, though, that I’m not preordering them (last time I did that was Y, I think), and whether or not I get them is really going to base around many of these factors.

[halogenwarrior]

I wasn't saying the Cassie letting the box be taken into Yeerk hands as an example of her being wrong, actually the opposite and citing it as an example of why people think she is always proven right by the narrative, though I think the better argument for that is the affect on the Yeerk and Taxxon resistance and the fact that they still won the war + after that Yeerks and Taxxons had better prospects. If Jake could recover from knowing he had to kill Tom to win to the point of willingly doing it I think it's very plausible he could have also recovered from having killed Tom earlier.

Edit: I looked on your account and saw your post criticizing this aspect in terms of how the Taxxons will be extinct and the Yeerks will be miserable having to be solitary animals when they are a social species - to that I would argue that the Taxxon ambiguity is completely intentional, it continues a running theme that is first explored in the Ellimist Chronicles with the Ketran's dilemma - is it better to preserve a species' unique qualities and experience or improve the lives of individuals of that species in a utilitarian manner? With the Ellimist's speech in #26 and his actions in the Ellimist Chronicles opposing Menno, showing he generally values spreading the diversity of intelligent species with different experiences so they can all share their discoveries and culture with each other over how much those individuals are actually enjoying their life, while Cassie tends to care about how sapient species can transcend the evolutionary incentives and lifestyles they started out with (that might incentivize things like war, etc), sapience has to mean there is something better than that that they can create, even if that means destroying the individuality of the species. And a lot of Taxxons choose Cassie's solution of their own free will which makes sense because they were already established as desperate enough to choose the horror of being taken over by Yeerks over the even worse horror of their hunger, when you are suffering that much the last thing you care about would be "but I should not save myself just to preserve my species". As for some of them being solitary animal nothlits, well that scenario certainly sucks for Tobias where he's the only hawk nothlit around but Yeerks still have their own brains and there is no reason they cannot just choose to hang out together they are not forced to follow the behavior of the original animal, which is why a lot of Yeerks + Taxxons chose that of their own free will. You might say that it will harm the ecology of their environment if they don't act like the animal they became but the same can be said for humans congregating in far larger groups and different types of habitations (i.e cities) than their ecological niche originally entailed, yet we aren't saying humans should forcibly separate into small groups for ecological reasons barring a few fringe anarcho-primitivists.

So yeah while I think it's far from clear that the "sparing Jake" aspect turned out to be a right decision in the long run, the "giving Yeerks and Taxxons another choice" part definitely did. Which connects to another post I recently made where people were discussing whether the aspect about giving Yeerks/Taxxons other options was intentional on Cassie's part, such that even if in the heat of the moment she hadn't quite worked out the chain of logic she had a sense of it, or if that was a rationalization she made after the fact. And I contended that while the books are ambiguous and it could be interpreted both ways, I think the first way is far more interesting from a thematic sense in terms of Cassie's arc of moral reckoning, and makes it look far less like she is just being author-favored by being right when she has no justification for it, so I prefer that interpretation.

--

And I guess your argument for the crystal is that using threats is something that would have only worked once, and that after helping the Animorphs kill Erek no longer wanted to be reprogrammed, but Erek isn't the only Chee in existence. We only see the perspective of him and one other who was doubtful from the beginning, but if Erek was willing to do it before being traumatized by doing violence himself and was considered appropriate for him to speak for his people while he did support it, I doubt he was the only one who felt that way; there likely would have been others who did it willingly which would have led to them having Chee allies in many other circumstances and, in the final battle, having some Chee they could use who they did not have to threaten into helping them, and as a result who they had the goodwill with so they would not betray them at the last moment leading to Rachel's death and Tom's ship's escape. If it even came to that final battle; they might have just won the war earlier in that case, either way the tragic events of the ending don't happen.

Just to be clear I'm not trying to criticize Cassie so you need to defend her I'm actually doing the opposite, defend her from criticism that she is poorly written because the narrative makes her always right even when it's implausible.

I posted this as a reply to someone else's post but I want to make it its own post because the original didn't get any likes or reflags, maybe because it didn't show up in the tags.

My take on the hate for Cassie Animorphs that you see a lot is that the perception is that Cassie makes decisions that are questionable or flawed but always turns out to be right in the end because of author fiat/favoritism, which I don't think is accurate when you analyze things deeply though I can see why people say so.

The thing is, how it usually works when the Animorphs are having an argument about morality is that the "failure mode" (the consequences of the action if it doesn't work out) of Cassie's suggestion or decision is that the war is completely lost and all of humanity is enslaved or killed by the Andalites, while the "success mode" is that a small amount of beings are saved and/or there will be a long-term ripple effect that leads to benefits for a lot of beings, both in terms of making the war more winnable and benefits that extent outside the war entirely. For example, letting Tom have the blue box would have led to the loss of the war if the gamble didn't pay off, and does have negative consequences for the war that could have easily led to them losing, but its positive impact is in both Yeerk and Taxxon defectors helping the Animorphs in the war and in, from a "humanitarian" perspective, Yeerks and Taxxons being offered a better choice besides war and conquest or the personal consequences of having to live in their standard bodies.

Meanwhile the "failure mode" of following the plan of someone like Marco can also sometimes be that the Animorphs will just lose the war, or sometimes that they will be back where they started (which is still a difficult and hopeless position with the Yeerks' greater numbers and more advanced technology), while the "success mode" is that they get that much closer to winning the war, such that if they continually forego opportunities like this they will have no chances of winning at all.

And for this reason, it is true that generally, when the others decide to go with Cassie's decision despite those risks, or Cassie acts on her beliefs anyway without the permission of the others, she turns out to be right and they don't all get killed or become Controllers. The plot armor and narrative conventions that they can't have the main characters just lose there, which is usually what will happen if they listen to Cassie and she is wrong. BUT the narrative shows the balance between Cassie's perspective and someone like Marco's both having their places in a different way; by showing the situations where the others don't go through with Cassie's plan, and Cassie is unable or unwilling to do her own thing or sabotage them. Such as blowing up the Yeerk pool in #52, which she explicitly opposes morally. But the others don't agree with Cassie and do it anyway, and it works, and it's clear they would have just lost the war there if they had sided with Cassie. Due to the restraints of the narrative, Cassie being wrong is usually indicated not by the others listening to Cassie or failing to stop her from taking action and her failing, but of them doing the opposite of what Cassie wants and succeeding. It's not as flashy and obvious, the other Animorphs don't sit there and say "wow we are so glad we didn't listen to Cassie or we would all be dead and humanity would be enslaved, isn't she dumb", but it's clear from the consequences of the narrative that she was wrong in that case.

The only exception where they were able to illustrate Cassie being wrong in the opposite way, where they take her side and do what Cassie wants and it's wrong, is with regards to throwing away the device to reprogram the Chee (initially what Cassie wanted and the others did not). This leads to consequences in the last book where it forces Jake to get the Chee's participation by threats and force instead, leading directly to Rachel and Tom's death and the escape of Tom's ship. And this comes down to the consequences happening in the last book of the series, meaning that while it doesn't lose them the war the narrative isn't as restricted to keeping all the main characters alive that it can't demonstrate permanent consequences to following Cassie's idea. But in other cases, Cassie isn't always right but her being wrong is demonstrated by the implications of what would have happened if they listened to her rather than what did happen when they did.

Overall I think her character is treated in a pretty balanced way between her perspective being right and wrong, although the narrative framing (out of necessity due to having to write within the constraints of not having the main characters lose and be killed/enslaved) drawing more attention to the times when she is right makes it look otherwise!

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

(NSFW) Hi! Do you think one of you could tell me the difference between a fetish, a preference, a kink, etc (if there are other terms, then those too please)? Also, are there any kinks/fetishes/preferences that are bad? I think I may have something where I am fetishizing a group of people and I feel very guilty and bad about it. It is private, just for my fantasies, but still it upsets me. Thank you!

That’s probably gonna end up being a long answer. I’ll try my best to be coherent but I guess it’s best I just write what comes to mind and if you have any more questions just send another message.

Usually a fetish is considered something that a person finds sexually arousing that is not a primary or secondary sex organ (genitals and breasts). By that definition for example you get things like “foot fetish”. Feet are not considered sexual body parts by most people and they certainly aren’t reproductive organs but for some people they trigger sexual arousal. Other people have fetishes for certain materials like rubber and find the texture of that arousing so they may dress up in latex suits. Depending on how tight or loose someone’s definition of “fetish” is they’d also group any kind of attraction to certain clothing as a fetish. How many people find nylon stockings or tuxedos or high-heels arousing? A fuck ton of people! There’s no real reason why they would evolutionary be attracted to that but it is still a common thing and if you define “fetish” as any sexual interest in features that are not sex organs then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ well... fetishes they are.

Some interpretations go as far as sorting the use of any kind of sex toy (even just a good ol’ dildo) into fetishism/kink because it’s ~sexual gratification with the use of an object~. I find that interpretation rather extreme but alas, it’s one way to look at it.

Now, why do some people have fetishes and kinks? Pfff... science pretty much has shown that to a certain degree fetishes are a very common variance in human sexuality and often develop in childhood. Either at random or through some formative experience.

There’s often the idea that kinks (especially kinks in the BDSM corner - more on that later) are always born out of trauma but that’s a misconception. Though that can sometimes be the case it doesn’t have to be. That “formative experience” which manifests in a kink can mean anything and doesn’t have to be traumatic. And whatever the reason may be for someone’s fetish/kink - there is hardly anything that is “inherently unhealthy”. There are healthy ways to engage in kink and unhealthy ones. And for some people kink is actually a way to work through a trauma.

If you want to know if there is actually a difference between the terms “fetish” and “kink” then I’d say it’s just a slight nuance. In my personal observation and experience I’d say “kink” is a wider term that can encompass anything that is not strictly vanilla genital stimulation. So that means: fetishes about certain body parts, textiles, places; role play in one way or another; BDSM ---- all of that falls under the term “kink”.

and for clarification: “vanilla” is a term to refer to sex that does not involve any kink. so you could say “vanilla” and “kinky” are opposites.

BDSM stands for bondage/discipline - Dominant/submissive - sadism/masochism. That is itself a very large field and not everyone who is into BDSM is into all of those letters. For example one might be into role play that involves dominance and submission but doesn’t like bondage. And the closer you look at it the more individual it may become. Someone who likes pain play might (probably!) not like every kind of pain. That’s why open and clear communication along with informed consent are the biggest rules in healthy kink and BDSM. It is common to agree on safe words and signs or to even discuss beforehand exactly what you want to do with your partner.

Now, I’d say to a certain degree even vanilla people might prefer either taking a more dominant role or a more submissive role during sex. But that’s usually a smaller nuance than it would be during a BDSM session. And note that not every kinky person always has kinky sex. In my opinion this is also a spectrum. How many people have tried fluffy handcuffs but wouldn’t particularily call themselves members of the BDSM community because of that? And I know that sometimes there can still be kinky vibes in the dynamic with a partner even when you don’t feel like getting out the whip collection every time.

For many kinksters this isn’t just “a way to have sex”. Many of us consider it part of our sexual identity just like one’s sexual orientation. Like: just like I cannot imagine not being bisexual, I also cannot imagine not being kinky. That’s not a choice I made but so deeply woven into my sexuality that I can’t just switch it off permanently. Not all but a lot of kinksters feel a similar way.

God, I am going on a tangent here and I really also want to get into this "guilt” that you say you have for your fantasies. Now, I don’t know what those fantasies are and you don’t have to tell me. But it is very important that you know that fantasies can hurt no one. They are in your head and nothing more. So whatever is going on there it is safe up there in your head.

Of course, if it upsets you that you have those fantasies (which may or may not be considered kinky) - try finding out where that guilt is coming from. Do you maybe experience sexual shame in general? Kink is often somehow seen as ~more sexual~ than vanilla sex which is bullshit. If anything it’s just a different kind of sexual. But still, if you aren’t really comfortable with sexuality in general (maybe bc of a conservative or religious upbringing) then obviously you’d feel even more shameful about sex acts that seem taboo or unconventional.

There is also a lot of kink-negativity on tumblr (and in certain brands of feminism and in mainstream media) so for a lot of kinky people it takes time and effort to embrace their fantasies as they are and be comfy with them - ideally to the point where they can realise them in a fulfilling way. And lack of knowledge can often make it difficult to understand one’s own fantasies and communicate those needs so in order to have a fulfillling sexuality it is vital that you educate yourself further and learn to be able to talk about these things.

Above I said that there is hardly anything that’s inherently unhealthy/toxic and I truly mean it - as long as your partner(s) consent and you all are aware of the possible risks then have fun! Of course it sucks to experience sexual shame or kink shame but you aren’t doing any harm by engaging in kink with someone who has consented to being part of that and you both take the necessary precautions to reduce potential risks. (Note: there are kinks that can never be risk free. if you wanna spank your partner there is a likely risk they’ll end up with bruises. but that doesn’t make the act of consensual spanking bad or abusive or whatever. many things in life are risky and people still consent to them willingly and enthusiastically. sports is the best example.)

You say you might “fetishise a group of people” and that could really mean anything so I can’t get into much detail when talking about that. There’s some things like oversexualisation of people of colour for example where it can definitly be a racist “fetish” that white people like to get off to because it seems ~exotic~. I would argue that that’s not a “fetish” though and the word “fetishisation” is often misused and overused, especially on tumblr. There is nothing inherently immoral to be attracted to certain physical features or to find someone attractive who belongs to a group of people (marginalised or not). However, there is a respectful way to deal with that and a disrespectful way. If you dehumanise that group to the point where you don’t give a fuck about the individual then that is very shitty. But I get the feeling that’s not the case here with you. Or... I don’t know. Can’t really know what’s going on without knowing more details.

I don’t know if I helped you in any way or opened up the floodgates for more questions. Again, feel free to ask further. You can also message me directly via my personal blog @apicturewithasmile because some things are better discussed and explained in a dialogue.

Maddie

[exitrowiron]

What gets measured gets managed (unfortunately)

and the more something is measured, the more it is managed

It took me 3 hours to write a cogent explanation of how I feel about the pandemic situation. I feel better having organized my thoughts and hope you find it helpful.

The horror of a pandemic is that there are no good options.  There are no easy solutions, just shitty choices and shittier consequences.  The way we’re navigating those choices is curiously influenced by our measurements and our instinctual, primitive decision making.

Let’s start with the measurements.  I live in Minnesota where the rate of infection and death has been relatively modest.  How modest?  The Star Tribune reports the statistics each day on the front page in large print: as of April 17, 2020 there were 2,071 confirmed infections and 111 deaths.  The national statistics are more sobering: 705,112 confirmed infections and 58,346 deaths.  I’m not one who accuses the media of being aligned with the liberal elite or any of that other horseshit, but I do think the media has failed in one critical way - the media has failed to provide CONTEXT when reporting these figures.

Our primitive brains are bad at big numbers.  Our brains are evolved for the kind of numbers you see on the savanna; the kind of numbers you would see in your tribe.  More than you can count on your fingers, but not much more than that.  Numbers bigger than that are alarming; they are inherently difficult for our emotional, fear driven, immediate-danger-avoiding brains to grasp.  It’s difficult to make good pandemic response decisions because the numbers are too big for effective gut decisions.  The best way to help our under-powered caveman brains is by adding context.  Context, context, context.  

Here is the context: in 2017 in Minnesota 44,361 people died (121.5 per day).  Nationally in 2018, 2,839,205 died (7,778 per day). Think about that for a moment... nearly 8,000 people die every day; can you imagine if the newspaper headlines every day kept a running tally? These are large numbers but they aren’t in the headlines every day because we’ve become accustomed to them.  Our brains don’t associate those large numbers with an immediate threat and they’ve become white noise.  My point is, large numbers are scary.  Large numbers without context are even scarier.

Our collective response to the virus is driven by more than just the large numbers however.  We’re also disarmed by the novelty of the threat.  Ironically, the virus is often referred to in exactly this way; the novel Covid-19 Corona virus.  Indeed, our brains react strongly to all novel threats.  From an evolutionary perspective it’s very helpful to react strongly to new threats.  From a public policy perspective, however, it’s not as productive.  In 2018 59,120 people died from influenza or pneumonia.  The deaths were concentrated among the elderly (but not exclusively) and yet 54% of the US didn’t get a flu shot in the 2018-19 flu season. You’ll hear a variety of excuses for not getting a flu shot, but with the exception of those who are immune compromised, all the excuses are BS.  The real reason is the regular flu is no longer a novel threat.  There is a different flavor of flu each year and everyone other than Trump (and perhaps the governor of Georgia) knows it kills a lot of people.  But it’s not a new threat and it hasn’t killed us yet (obviously) so most of us (not me) ignore the opportunity to get vaccinated.  Again, this is an evolutionary relic, hardwired into the physiology of our brain, influencing our behavior.  We are highly attuned to new, acute threats and very good (too good) at ignoring chronic threats.  Examples of ignoring chronic threats abound - type II diabetes, climate change, and the runaway concentration of wealth in modern economies are just a few examples. My point is that even when we put the numbers in context, humans always react disproportionately to a novel threat.

This brings us to the issue of measurements.  The axiom, “What gets measured gets managed” (wrongly attributed to Peter Drucker) is most definitely true.  The Dow Jones Industrial Average is reported with such accuracy, precision and frequency that it is often mistaken as THE measure of the health of the economy (an error which Trump encouraged until very recently).  Numbers are influential when reported that way and any number which is widely reported and frequently updated most definitely gets managed.  This is true even if managing the number in question has deleterious unintended consequences.  Again, this is true of the stock market.  The DJIA is NOT an effective comprehensive measurement of the health of the US economy, yet it is widely revered as such and it’s performance is stimulated and protected in ways which are often harmful to actual health of the overall economy. My point is that when it comes to public policy, the numbers we can easily measure and report each day and therefore manage the shit out of are almost always the wrong numbers and trying to optimize these numbers can have very harmful unintended consequences.  The important things to measure are always harder to measure; they change slowly over time and are very difficult to influence (again think of your weight, the environment and the distribution of wealth).

We’re also influenced by who we see and hear.  Today we hear from health experts (doctors, nurses, Dr. Fauci and the CDC, etc.).  These are all people who have dedicated their career to extending the lives of others at any cost.  You can’t expect the CDC to balance their recommendations to save as many lives today as possible with the longer term societal consequences.  That’s not the team they play for.  It would be like asking a tax accountant to consider the benefits of tax simplification.  If you really want to have a balanced discussion on this issue you need to have a few historians and economists sharing the microphone with Dr. Fauci and unfortunately no one ever wants to hear from a historian or economist.  

This is where we are today.  A novel threat has so focused our attention on managing and minimizing the large, frequently reported out of context numbers of illnesses and deaths that we’ve incorrectly assumed that our responses won’t cause an equal or greater amount of longer term misery, illness and death.  Our instinctual reaction is reinforced by only asking for the advice of those whose life mission is minimizing short term illness and death.  It is naive to think that shutting down the economy for weeks or months won’t have equal or more serious health and morbidity consequences.  But it is true that those consequences won’t be measurable, certainly not in daily newspaper headlines.

I’ve seen the memes accusing politicians and the rich of deciding the economy and their fortunes are worth the death of 2-3% of the population.  My argument is not about protecting the economy for the sake of the economy or the rich.  My argument is that there are no good options and we can’t pretend that lowering the Corona virus deaths at all costs now won’t have worse long term misery, illness and morbidity consequences over the long term.  (If you don’t think trashing an economy and creating runaway inflation doesn’t have health and morbidity consequences just spend a few minutes reading about Venezuela.) Our current flatten-the-curve-at-all-costs strategy primarily benefits the old (the most at risk of the virus) while endangering the health and wellness of the young over the long term.  I definitely don’t fall in the young camp so I’m not saying this in my own self-interest.  I’m not a historian either but I can’t recall a successful society making a similar choice. 

I absolutely loathe the idea of being associated with the kind of people who are currently shouting about the cure being worse than illness.  But if I really examine what’s driving my emotional response to this situation (which I’ve tried to explain above), I can’t help but agree. (Though you won’t find me blocking the entrance to a hospital like the militia morons on Michigan.) If you’re a politician who is actually trying to lead, you’re really screwed right now, because there are no good options.  Either way you will be legitimately criticized for the consequences of your decision and only one of those choices has consequences which can easily be measured in the next election cycle.  

What’s going to happen next is what has to happen.  Some time soon the Fed is going to run out of bullets.  States and municipalities are constitutionally prohibited from running deficits and can’t afford >25% unemployment compensation claims AND falling tax revenues for very long. In a complete vacuum of federal leadership (even within constitutional limits), states will cobble together policies allowing most businesses to reopen and most people will go back to work, albeit with masks and as much social distancing as possible. We will hope that the last few weeks has increased our ICU and ventilator capacity and advanced our treatment protocols enough to avoid a rebound in fatalities.  This is the unavoidable reality. 

My closing thought is that the process of discovering the unavoidable necessity of reopening the economy is sadly, a bit like finding out that Santa isn’t real.  Most kids figure it out on their own and can’t help but feel a bit disappointed that their parents didn’t just sit them down and tell them the truth.  I remember feeling embarrassed and naive.  I kind of feel like that now.  The Trump administration should have done a better job preparing for a pandemic, starting by not firing the team put in place by Obama.  But it’s too late for that.  Now we’re just left with shitty choices with shittier consequences.  Let’s at least have an adult conversation and stop hoping that Santa is going to make it all go away with warm weather, or hydroxychloroquine, the wall, international travel restrictions or whatever other snake oil Trump is selling.

[kinsfolk]

[ ⛧ ] GET TO KNOW MY CHARACTER BETTER. | open. 

@roborights​ asked:  8: Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging.

Shinguuji’s feelings on indulgence are relative simple: to indulge is to live by one’s instincts, and  living only by one's instincts will push one away from knowing culture.  He doesn’t look down upon things such as sleep, or a taste for foods rich in salt or sugar or fats — those all, at the very least, have their roots in evolutionary instinct.  But to only ever indulge is the way of animals, as far as he’s concerned.  If humans only ever lived in comfortable indulgence, then things such as art and community and culture would have never developed.  And to push that all away simply to live as a pampered house pet would?  He firmly believes: humans are capable of so much more than that.

As for Shinguuji himself: he’s not a particularly indulgent person... at least, not in the way that most people are.  He works tirelessly, and though he’ll eat foods that he enjoys, it’s never to excess.  In his travels he’s dabbled with depressants, stimulants, and hallucinogenics, but it’s never been for any sort of personal indulgence.  Sex, perhaps, is a common indulgence that he engages with... but it’s certainly not for the physical stimulation as it is for most.

No — Shinguuji’s vice of choice is people.  He is a terribly self-indulgent people watcher, but it stretches beyond that.  Watching isn’t enough for him, usually.  He wants to know them.  He wants to comprehend their lived experience thoroughly.  He wants to experience them.  He wants to see them at their most beautiful — he wants their fear, their worry, their anger, and their love.

And he certainly isn’t about to sit idly by and let someone slip away once they’ve piqued his interested.

[a-travels]

taken: 27 may, 2018 Jökulsárlón Glacial Lagoon, Iceland

empty and alone

Yeah, I’m finally posting a color photo, though it still has a muted color palette. I gotta find some more color photos and photos of non-solitary animals to upload. Unlike the horsies, there were no other seals around, though I’m sure they were underwater or something. 

I was recently talking to a friend about stuff and the topic of relationships and love lives popped up, despite my very blatant inability to contribute anything meaningful to such a discussion. And this was, in fact, one of the four people who read the dumb stuff I post on here, and she encouraged me to make a post on “love” and that sort of thing. I initially tabled the idea, because while it’s something I have my own thoughts on, I didn’t really know what to actually talk about or what to express, much less what picture to pair it with.

I realized later that day, in my traditional 3am moments of clarity (since my mind has pretty much shifted to a nocturnal cognitive cycle), that this photo fits fairly well with what I think is a less talked about aspect of “love” and relationships. So this post is for that friend, who probably knows who they are.

In the ever inspirational words of Ron Swanson talking about his ex-wives and love life, he says, “If you don’t believe in love, what’s the point of living?” I agree wholeheartedly. I think the human experience and life itself is about, among other things, building relationships and connections with others, not even just human beings, but even a pet. I won’t go deeper than that in terms of the philosophy of love or life (as far as I want to right now), but I think foundationally, it’s important to understand my view on that regard before moving forward.

That being said, I think neither connections or love is something that should be rushed, forced, or inorganic. Maybe it’s simply my idealism, privilege, and choice talking here. Idealism because I like to think love finds its way and people will find each other through organic means; privilege because I’ve never been placed in any position (so far) that I’ve been forced to be or not be with someone for any reason; and choice, not because I have hoards of women running after me (lol please), but more that I have to ability to find and ask out anyone I want to (not that they’ll say yes, but I have the option to at least ask), which not everyone can claim. It’s the same sort of freedom I found myself in terms of career paths, college choice and more. To that end, my parents get a lot, if not most of the credit in never really pigeonholing me or forcing me down any one path. But I realize my fortune in freedom is not something afforded to everyone. 

So in that vein, I think looking at relationships and love from the lens of choice and freedom is particularly interesting, because I think now than ever before in my life, I’m seeing the start of marriages and long-term relationships, or rather the push towards that direction. I mean it's around that age where people are young, in love and want to do something about it. Or, they see their friends around them in a relationship and want to don’t want to be left out or stuck third- or fifth-wheeling. And whether cuffing season is actually hitting my friends directly, it certainly seems to be affecting people’s parents. 

In my family, there’s a very strict “no dating till you’re settled” policy, which I guess, good luck to them. I sure as hell don’t know when I’m gonna be “settled”, as in a stable job, good savings, and a good house. I think the same rings true for a lot of Asian parents⸺strict anti-dating policy in the house...until there suddenly isn’t. It’s something I’ve heard from so many of my Asian friends, in particular, the sudden interest and goading from immediate or extended family to find a significant other, a boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s pressure I see affect so many of my friends in such negative and unfortunate ways, and to what end? What is the benefit of seeing your child in a relationship suddenly? Now that they’re out of college in a job, what makes the time so ripe for love? I definitely don’t know and I don’t know if I ever will. As someone who personally values individual liberty, especially in regards to relationships and love, in particular, I am vehemently against the idea of forcing anything on anyone, particularly a relationship. It’s like how you’d feel weirded out being forced to be friends with someone, it is exactly the same thing. A significant other should be your friend in some regard, only closer. 

And yet, it seems in some confounding way that some parents are pushing their children towards the next “landmark” or checkbox on their journey of life. It’s literally like they’re the player piece on this sick, messed up board game of real Life (which in part is why I can’t play that board game anymore, bc of how meta it gets sometimes, especially this copy I saw in the store the other day advertising experiencing “crippling debt” and “quarter-life crises”. Big yikes). In turn, I see how it affects people’s outlook and philosophy towards relationships and finding a boyfriend or girlfriend. It becomes less about fostering an actual connection and more about this dumb rat race of finding someone to say you found someone. Someone I know in particular speaks regularly about his parents pressuring him to find a girlfriend, and when he doesn’t, I see how superficially he talks about women on dating apps or on facebook or social media. And yes, it’s tough to gauge someone’s personality on a platform when you only have pictures and usually a half-baked bio associated with it, but it’s also in large part why I’m against the idea of a dating app like a Tinder. On the other end, I have a male friend who is clearly very thirsty and stressing out my female friends, either hitting on them or hitting on other women around them. And while I can’t say for sure it’s a push from the parents' end, it certainly seems that way in its intensity and brazenness.

I don’t really know what to say to help people afflicted with that kind of parental pressure. I get my own share of parental pressure on other things outside of relationships, I see in my own family that pressure to get my older cousins and family members “married off”. I see my parents occasionally talk about the benefits of arranged marriage, and how the “stress of finding someone” is taken away and you can genuinely build a relationship with someone over time, and it’s kind of shocking considering my parents were not arranged. 

I don’t know what the rush is or what the motivation is from a parent for that kind of push. This may just be my idealism talking, but I think that “emptiness” people feel or parents think their kids will face from a lack of relationship is not a square hole for a square peg. I think for all my lukewarm attitude towards Disney Princess movies, I think one of my favorite things from Frozen (which overall is still just ok imo) was how “true love’s kiss” to save Anna wasn’t a kiss from a boy, or someone she would marry, but the love from her sister Elsa. If you think your child is lacking in “love”, you can provide that love, they can find it from other siblings, from friends, a pet, even a toy (like when you’re a kid), not just from a boyfriend or girlfriend. And barring the whole “evolutionary goal of a species is to propagate their genetic info” and that nonsense, it’s ok to be by yourself (hehe old post). And if you don’t find anyone now or later, there are still so many ways to find love that doesn’t require a traditional marriage or relationship. 

At the very least, don’t be your own impediment to choice or freedom to be with who you want. You obviously can’t control other people, your parents, your friends from pressuring you, unfortunately, but ultimately it’s your life and not theirs and you deserve to be happy, no matter the form that takes, even if it means seeming “empty and alone” at times to them.

tl;dr - you alone should be able to choose to be alone