#too many nat 20s

[justalittlebluetiefling]

I wish there was a way to describe the just... immediate frustrated acceptance in Brennan's voice as he informs Emily that Sid will never roll animal handling checks for Aurora Nebbins again and that she is taking expertise in animal handling.

[no0dlru]

The wonderful @b-i-r-0 just did a very interesting tarot reading for me

[julirocks]

I’m three years late but I just finished A Crown of Candy and I need to discuss things.

[chompe-diem]

crying in the corner guess it's time to rewatch the old (ONLY) murph adventuring academy and the behind the screen streams from jake's paternity leave last year and the frosted murph tips episode from 2bh and then get back on that copium that there will be a new murph aa one day,,, 2025 pls-

[new-austin]

Played my first DND game and out of combat did so fucking bad at interacting with humans I got me and another PC arrested. Also my character pissed himself.

Now God is punishing me with the worst period cramps I have ever experienced in my fucking life

[came-out-of-the-coffin-desisted]

charm person is the most insane spell to get used to and then not have for insanely hard charisma checks like noooo what do you mean i can’t get advantage plus my charisma plus guidance plus my warlock clothes i wanna roll 37s agaaaain

[firelordfoureyes]

I was gonna draw something new today but had the traumatic experience of seeing my cat fall off the balcony instead

[retrokid616]

matt "theres too many d20s tonight"

yeah

[yourplayersaidwhat]

*druid shapeshifts into a massive spider*

*party encounters an ogre*

druid - well fuck, i got too many legs for this 

bard - bite its dick off

druid - …..

DM - *sigh* roll.

druid - NAT 20

*bites the ogres dick off, ogre dies immediately*

bard - dick biter the killer spider 

*entire party loses it*

[workingwhileidream]

Okay Burrow's End had me thinking some thoughts... So here are my favorite Dimension 20 moments that rotate like a rotisserie chicken in my brain (in no particular order other than the order I thought if them).

- Riz goes into the butthole of the Corn Ooze Monster (Fantasy High). The first absolutely insane shenanigans move anyone makes on D20, setting the tone the show will have forever.

- Raphaniel kills Queen Pamelia (Ravening War). I think I saw Brennan's soul leave his body briefly when he got that How Do You Want To Do This from Matt. Time was an absolute flat circle that day.

- Hank convinces Brennan to let him role savvy instead of sneak (Mentopolis). Hank is one of the most famous content creators, having him on the show was phenomenal to begin with. Then right out of the gate, he pulls this move in his first episode. And it just works. Hilarious, instantly iconic.

- Jet Dies (A Crown of Candy). When Lapin dies, it is shocking but I wasn't attached to him as a character. Lapin was a bit antagonistic and his death happens early in the season. On the other hand, Jet is instantly likeable. Emily and Siobhan are amazing as siblings, their performances this campaign are some of my favorites. I have siblings and I am very close to them, so this hit me like a ton of bricks.

- The entire epilogue of Burrow's End. "Are you pitching and Air Bud ending?" is one of the instant hall of fame quotes from this show. I started crying I was laughing so hard.

- Ylfa's bottleneck and the TPK (Neverafter). There are so many close calls for total party kills in Dimension 20 history, but this is where it finally happens and it's only 3 episodes in. I was on edge, expecting another TPK at any turn, for the rest of the campaign.

- 3 nat one initiative rolls for the battle that literally opens the season (A Starstruck Odyssey). The beginning of a new season is always full of excitement. This season was extra special, having everyone back in the dome after the pandemic and the season being based off Brennan's Mom's comics. The zoom energy is still in the air and I still think about this season opener a lot.

- Mother Timothy Goose breaks Snow White's concentration with a cantrip (Neverafter). Only Ally Beardsley could and we all damn well know it. Still didn't stop me from being so far in disbelief that all I could do is laugh.

- Hob's "You will never know another lonely day" speech to Rue (A Court of Fey and Flowers). I will still cry about this if I think about it for too long. Rue and Hob's romance is the heart of this season to me. I won't be over it ever.

- Gertrude convinces Nyruth to give the Questing Queens very powerful boons after the Queens tried to rob them only a few hours earlier (Dungeons and Drag Queens). The fact that this season exists drives a level of serotonin into my brain that is unimaginable. This is the definition of a big swing and when Bob rolls well, Brennan has no other choice than to honor it. This is one of the moments I have made a meme of. I cannot wait for season 2.

- Wuuvy shows up to the duel and she did not come to play (A Court of Fey and Flowers). Aabria has talked about how Wuuvy is one of her favorite NPCs and I feel the same. Wuuvy and Rue's relationship has such a great arc and this moment is so pivotal.

- Fabian's no good very bad day (Fantasy High Sophomore Year). An iconic moment in D20 history that was truly wild to watch live. For everything to go so fantastically bad for Fabian and Lou was unprecedented. There is a reason why people still talk about this moment to this day.

- Amathar survives being pushed off the castle (A Crown of Candy). Brennan tried to kill Lou so many times in this campaign. I really thought Brennan had gotten him with this one, my stomach sunk. But Lou pulls it out and Amathar lives once again.

- Pib plays "Smoke on the Water" (Neverafter). "I stepped out to play 'Smoke on the Water' " is also a hall of fame quote to me. This list could be all Pib moments if I'm being honest, he's my favorite Zac character. And the fact that Zac doesn't roll well makes this moment funnier to me.

- Buddy Bear gets planted with the All Blossom (Dungeons and Drag Queens). Jujubee and Brennan owe me a therapy session for this one. I sobbed. My cat is my baby and I will be ruined the day she leaves me, so I get it. I really do.

- "Eat your dice, Brennan" (Fantasy High Sophomore Year). A great bit made physically possible by Siobhan. I hope Siobhan gives him gummy dice or something like that so that Brennan can continue to eat his dice for Junior Year.

- Orange Top Hat Fairy (Neverafter). It's a horror season and the cast is doing bits about how hot a mini is the entire finale and the Adventuring Party that followed. I felt the stress and off the walls energy through the screen. The Smooth Criminal pin was the first piece of Dimension 20 merch I bought.

- Viola's epic takedown of Phoebe (Burrow's End). Watching Rashawn absolutely crush it her first time in the dome was amazing. I loved Viola from the jump, her arc was so satisfying and fun to watch. Also the idea of a tiny stoat kicking a gun just the right way to get it to fire is hilarious. No notes other than please have Rashawn come back on every season she possibly can.

- Evan Kelmp warns the Rosemont student not to duel him (Misfits and Magic). Brennan's deadpan warning matched with the reactions of the other players and Aabria really make this scene. An underrated Brennan moment for sure.

- Stacey Fakename turns out to be real (Mentopolis). This was such a good reoccurring bit, so to have Stacey be real at the end of the story was too funny. In a season of bits, tropes, and puns - this one has the most payoff to me and is definitely my favorite.

[praxcrown5]

War and Wings: Truth or Dare

So, this piece is, like, three years in the making.  I started working on the lineart while I still lived in Texas, and really didn't knuckle down to work on it until last year.  I've been busy lately, so I've only been able to work on it a few hours at a time.  And since digital art isn't my strong-suit, it took a LOT of hours.  Way too many to count.

This deviation is a scene from the first chapter of an old Transformers Prime fanfiction I wrote back in the early 10's.  Team Prime is playing truth or dare with their human partners.  Their fun annoys Ratchet, whom is working on his nerdy science stuff (AKA synthetic energon).  Rafael rolls a nat 20 on his charisma check to convince Ratchet that they'll leave him alone...so long as he plays a few rounds with him.  Ratchet has no idea what he's getting into.

Link to the Fic on Fanfiction.net. Eventually, I'll migrate it over to A03. Eventually...

[romanoffsbish]

Could you do prompts 4, 14, & 20 with Wanda? Thank you!! <3

An Alluring Touch

Wanda Maximoff x F!R

Smut Prompts | WC: 1,665 Words

Meddling friends, and drunken games…

Smut: Mommy(W) | Thigh Riding (R) | Choking | Strap(R) | Jealousy | Soft

18+ — Minors DNI — Labeled

"Shall we play a game Romanoff?" Natasha rolled her eyes but turned to face the arrogant man anyways. The party had long since lost the appeal that the early hours carry, so she was just bored enough to humor him. "Depends. What do you propose we arrange Stark?"

The redhead saw his gaze float over to you, who was sat alone on a couch nursing a glass of wine, bored and completely unaware of the eyes around the room observing you. His focus then moved on to the witch a few paces behind with her heart eyes set on your beautiful face.

Natasha smirked at the notion. "Oh, I'm in."

——

Tony beamed, slammed the rest of his scotch, then clapped to get the entire room's attention. Everyone grumbled knowingly. "Now, now, don't get too excited," he taunted, "Everyone meet in the middle, it's time to play a game."

"What game?" Maria asked as she plopped onto a couch, a smile graced her face as Nat settled atop of her lap as it was her rightful spot. Her question was answered in a hush against her lips, she hummed in amusement, and leaned back into the couch with her lover.

"Well Hill, I decided the sexual tension in the room wasn't settling on its own," he teased, catching Wanda's glare with a returned smirk. "So, I've had Friday create an algorithm for a few random rounds of seven minutes in heaven. All of us with partners were spared."

Friday immediately followed him up with a textbook definition of the party game, many of the men in the room shifted at the raunchy end of her description. Then she called out: "The first participant will be, Y/N Y/L/N."

Wanda saw Bucky's eyes light up when your name was called and she clenched her fists. Tony and Natasha shared a humored glance, then as if Friday was in on the joke she stalled before deciding your fate: "Wanda Maximoff."

The witch sent Bucky a triumphant smile, then confidently made her way over to you. With each click of her heels on the ground your heart would skip, and when her hand was palm up before your face it had practically stopped. It took a second, but you softly accepted the gesture, and let her pull you up off the couch.

Wanda guided you away, the sounds of wolf whistles ignored as she took you off to the neighboring room, and guided you into the supply closet full of miscellaneous objects.

For an entire minute you just sat on a shelf and stared at your fiddling fingers. Wanda kept her eyes on you, trailing over your shy form while you were none the wiser. Until you finally had the courage to spare her a glance, catching on to her darkened gaze. You could feel your heart beating in your core at the implications. Wanda bit her lip, and decided to move in for the kill.

"Can I touch you?" Wanda watched you toy with the idea, then in a bold move you got up and straddled her lap. “Do whatever you want.”

Wanda’s eyes lit up, neither of you expected such a response, but being confined in a small space made you acutely aware of the tension. It was unbearable, especially when you could now piece together every other time you’d not seen the clear adoration. Your eyes fell to the way Wanda’s tongue darted out, preparing her lips for what was to come. Lids encased your shiny orbs, and your mind went fuzzy as you melted into the embrace of her plump lips with yours.

Wanda’s hands gripped your waist, holding you up as she moved her left leg between yours, there was nothing to hold her back from claiming and destroying you now, you were hers. You groaned in anticipated shock as your puffy folds dripping with arousal, thinly covered in white lace, brushed against the gruff feel of her favored corduroys.

The witch watched with her mouth agape, labored breaths following the opening as she was privileged enough to see your eyes cross and to feel your body shiver, with your pulse now drumming erratically beneath her fingers as she suddenly wrapped them around your throat, and pulled you in for a rough kiss.

Your bodies buzzed in sync, you were well on your way to climaxing, and the thought of your slick being so abundant that it would seep through the thick material encasing her leg made her pace brutal as she sought to prolong the high she had already become addicted to.

Wanda couldn’t think of anything else besides you as she swirled her tongue around your mouth and blocked the moans from leaving. Nothing else mattered. Not even your friends just around the corner. Or the anger she felt for Natasha and Tony manufacturing this first that she dreamed will be many’s afterwards.

You too dreamed of that as you screamed into the crook of her neck as you felt the unending heat between your legs from the friction of the contradictory fabrics brushing against your greatest sensitivity. Wanda was moaning too, and you just pictured her powers likely being used to stimulate her because she just couldn’t help it but to get off at the same time with you.

Nothing else mattered to you either. No one else. Wanda was all you had the room to know.

That knowledge of their existence had honestly slipped your mind after the kiss. Wanda had initially caught all of your whorish moans with her lips. But then she pulled away to kiss down the expanse of your throat, feeling the vibrations of the glorious sounds you were releasing as she nipped at the veiled muscle. Her core throbbed at the way you reacted to her thigh rubbing against you—she imagined just how much louder you’d be riding her strap, her heart felt purposeful; it’s oddly romantic.

"Tell me how it feels. It doesn't hurt does it?" You shook your head with a sideways grin that she felt against her skin as you’d just burrowed into her neck, your mind too far gone to process much of a coherent response at the moment. “Fuck Y/N, you’re just so beautiful, I am on the verge of falling apart, let mommy see you detka, please.”

You felt your walls shudder, physically and metaphorically as you pulled away with a shy glance up before your once trembling lower lip was caught between your grinding teeth. The pace had slowed significantly, your glossed eyes found her nervous pair. You offered her a confused smile, and she chuckled softly.

Wanda smiled, and began to pepper your collar with firm kisses, sucking and nipping at the skin every once in awhile to keep you on the edge as she’d only briefly tease your breasts.

"You're more than just a fling, my love." Wanda quelled your obvious fears with absolution, her hand briefly brought yours up to her lips, where she gently kissed your knuckles before she dropped it over her heart. “This only beats for you my dear, I adore you.”

Your body took that as permission to finally let go, and you slammed your lips into hers, teeth knocking as you silently screamed her praises. Her lips tore from yours a second later as her eyes desperately sought to see you losing it.

She wasn’t disappointed as she watched your chest rise and fall in stuttered ways. You were cursing softly as she kept rubbing you against her to prolong the ecstasy for you both. She could now feel your sticky warmth, and her heart beamed with unbreakable pride.

“Fuck, that was so hot Y/N,” she couldn’t hide the excitement, and you mirrored it. Wanda wanted to say so much more, but she heard the purposeful sounds of an assassin’s footsteps.

“Let's continue this in my room..." You nodded without hesitation and she pressed a soft kiss to your cheek just before the calvary arrived.

Natasha swung the doors open with a smug smirk at the sight of your disheveled forms. Wanda's hair was no longer pristine, but instead it laid over her shoulders in a messy set of waves, and your shirt was no longer tucked into your skirt, the collar was stained with red

“Once you two get settled, consider giving Maria and I a ring,” the redhead winked, then walked away with a red tint to her skin that caused the both of you to giggle affectionately.

“I’m not a fan of sharing,” you admitted with a pout on your face. Wanda’s gaze softened and she pressed her lips to the crease between your brows. “Me either detka,” she said as her lips pressed against yours in a slow, steady kiss.

“What the hell is taking you girls so long?” Bucky asked just before shrieking, the man with military traumas was mortified into flushing bright red and vacating the room.

Wanda chuckled hot breath against the curve of your ear, her hands gripped your hips possessively as she whispered: “I’m glad he understands his place now; you’re mine.”

You whimpered, and your legs clamped around her thigh. Wanda kissed your cheek, then swirled her hand until you were sat in her bed. Hovering her lap in nothing, your needy hole that dripped the evidence onto her milky thighs just out of reach of the thick strap she wore.

“Ride me like a good girl who’s desperate for…”

“Her mommy,” you cut her off with glee. The woman gasped, her ego inflated and within an instant she had flipped positions. “On second thought, I think mommy will just fuck you into the mattress until your begging me to stop!”

You screamed in pure joy as her strap filled you in one thrust. Then the world faded to static as her hips bumped into yours, likely to bruise with the sheer force she was putting into her thrusts. With her you’d finally found nirvana.

——

[carmenized-onions]

The Other Shoe | Consultation

logline; old wounds tend not to heal, if you don't let them. but, there is hot chocolate, and love. so perhaps that's enough.

[!!!] series history, this is the seventh; First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth

Spotify Playlist, if you like to listen while you read. I listen to it when I write :) Constantly gettin’ added to. Finally got Hozier on here. Don't know how that took me so long.

portion; 3.1k

possible allergies; two absolutely garbage mental states of people who are NOT over Mikey or the way they've been treated. Bunch of self-loathin, the whole lot.

pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader (no pronouns!)

Took me a minute, new jobs goin' well though!! This one took a lot of stewing, lmao. Lot of staring and thinking. We'll talk after, but SO many alterations were made lmao.

It has been three weeks since you met Carmen in a freezer.

Six days since you were at his apartment. Ish.

Roughly forty-three weeks since the worst day of your life. Doesn’t feel like it.

In five days, you’ll have the second— Well, maybe third or fourth, worst day of your life.

But today is Monday, and you don’t know what’s coming yet.

It’s just after one in the morning, and you wake up to a phone call. Carmy. Yes, do not disturb was on. Yes, you’d set him on priority access— Which most people would find very cute and intimate, and it is— But he’s not the only one. It’s not a limited feature for people you want to kiss. There’s Syd, Richie, …Mikey…

Cause when is the right time to delete a dead friend’s contact info? It’s not right now. You know it’s not right now. And it probably won’t be tomorrow, either.

Phone call. You’re getting a phone call.

“Carm?”

“…”

You stir a little, bit, when there’s no reply, brain dehazing. “Carmy? Everything okay?”

You hear the beep of the phone call being ended. No way he butt-dialed you, right? You’re awake. You’re so awake. This feels all too familiar, and that's not a good thing. You immediately open your phone to text him, by the time you get to his contact, he’s already texted you. Actively texting you, in a rapid, manic succession.

‘fuck’

‘sorry’

‘you were supposed to be asleep’

Hm.

‘talking to a person hard right now?’

‘yes’

‘you’re so smart.’

‘easier to talk to robot you.’

‘wowwww’

It’s hard to write funny, right now. It’s hard to act like yourself, right now. You’re not sure how you’re doing it.

‘not what I meant’

‘I know. You’re you.’

‘you wanna send a voice message maybe?’

‘it’s fine. I’ll text.’

You give him time, you expect a paragraph since he’s taking so long, but instead you get,

‘can’t.’

‘carmen.’

‘I like you so much.’ Oh be still your stupid heart.

‘feeling is mutual.’

‘I can’t make my problems the only reason I talk to you’

Is that true? Fuck, that's kind of true, isn't it? But there's the puzzles! And there's been phone calls!

‘You talk to me for other reasons’

‘yeah. But it’s mostly problems’

‘with me.’

‘eh. Not really. Walk-in was you, toilet was Mikey, Nat had a baby, I’d consider the oven a shared problem of you and Syd’

‘oven was my fault’

He types for even longer this time. It’s hard not to interrupt him. When you start to type, he sends.

‘can I come over?’

‘I know it’s late’

‘I’ll come pick you up.’

‘no’

‘I’ll walk. I’ll be there in 20.’

‘it’s not a problem to pick you up.’ It's a problem if he doesn't let you pick him up.

‘I know.’

‘promise I just wanna walk. Get air.’

God, why are your fucking hands shaking he just wants to walk. He just wants to walk. Why can’t you bring yourself to believe people when they say that anymore?

Everything’s normal. It’s been a good six days for Carm, you know that it’s been a good six days. Everything's normal. You’ve kept a puzzle streak every morning, you’ve called him some nights, he’s called you some nights. He’s had a good week. He told you so. Everything's normal. You’ve vaguely flirted in that extremely sexual yet completely nonsensical way new situationships do, via text. People don’t do that when they’re on the brink of death, right? Everything's normal. Stop playing with your pendant. Relax. Put a shirt on. Stop being so fucking paranoid. Stop typing—!

‘can you do me a favour’

‘anything’

‘can you turn your location on for me’

‘not to be invasive. You can turn it off when you get here, I—’

Before you can even finish typing your explanation, let alone send it, he sends his location, trackable. He’s already walking.

‘be there in 18.’

You watch, with bated breath, his little contact photo bubble marching across Chicago to you. You make yourself mildly presentable and make hot chocolate on the stove—Gotta use milk, for Carmen— For when he comes to you, out of the cold. Because he’s going to come to you. He’s gonna be here. He’s gonna be here. You know that because you’ve been keeping your phone screen open and only look away to ensure you don’t pour milk on your stovetop and to blink.

He's here in eighteen minutes. You think if you had a stop watch going on, it’d be down to the millisecond. You open the door for him, before he can even knock. You watched his bubble walk up to your door. No point in waiting. You need to see him.

He’s breathing heavy. Held tight in his fist is a bundle of flowers— Importantly, not a bouquet, a bundle of flowers—Like, roots still on a few, visibly yanked out of the ground. Though seemingly from different gardens, since there's quite a variety. He looks at you, then down at the flowers, then back to you.

“I— I stole these.”

“Had a feeling.” You wave your hand for him to come inside, he does. “Are you okay?”

His steps falter, he seems downtrodden. You take the flowers, and then take his hand. He hesitates to speak, but he’s really trying to say fucking something. You squeeze his hand, it seems to help.

“I—” He swallows the spit caught in his throat. “I didn’t know— I— No. No, I did know— I knew the one place I had to come was, here. Had to go somewhere.”

You nod, you look over him. Silently doing a wellness check. You’re panicked. You’re so panicked. But he can’t know that. This is about him. You’re the one that takes care of people. He’s clean. He smells like Old Spice and you. He’s a little cold from the walk, he didn’t wear a jacket, but he’s warming up fast. He looks tired but not exhausted, which, for Carmy, is kind of as good as you’re going to get. He didn’t have the energy for a phone call, but he had the energy to come over and talk to your face; his social battery is wonky, but that’ll fix with time here. Is he hungry? That’s hard to tell on looks alone.

“You wanna talk about it, Bear?”

He nods, head down. Can’t look at you. You gently pull at his hand for him to follow you into the kitchen. “Made hot chocolate. You a marshmallow or whipped cream guy?”

His eyes are glassy, and his mood itself doesn’t change, but he does swiftly lift his head up to look at you with an incredulous, curious half smile. “You don’t do both?”

“I find it gets a lil’ busy. But I like the tiny marshmallows that come with the mix with whipped cream—”

“You gotta do actual cocoa.”

You roll your eyes. “I don’t like my hot chocolate to actually be rich. I want sweet.”

“You’re breaking my heart.”

“Good thing I’m a repairman, then.” You deadpan. He does actually seem to glow a little bit, at that. You repeat, hand full of flowers resting on your hip. “So both?”

“Both.”

He calms you down so easily, even when really, he was the oncoming stress— Or rather, your perceptions. He clears static for you, without effort. You nod, letting go of his hand— Slowly, withdrawing, like a silent promise that you will be back. You grab a paper towel and wrap the flowers in them, setting them down on the counter. You’ll plant them later. Honestly, kind of a better gift for you and your green thumb than a bouquet would be.

You turn to your oven to stir the pot of hot chocolate— Can’t have any fuckin’ clumps for Mr Michelin over here. Speaking of Michelin, he sidles up behind you and puts his head on your shoulder, hands hovering as if he’s going to hug your waist but simply cannot bring himself to.

He mumbles into your shoulder. “I lit my oven on fire.”

Ah. The oven was his fault. That's what he meant. When you pause and try to turn, that’s when he hugs you, holding you in place. “Please don’t look ‘t me.”

You take a deep breath, and continue to stir the pot. “Okay. I’m listening, not looking.”

“I did— I did it in my sleep. Not the first time. I think, I think they’re night terrors? But I don’t, don’t scream or nothin’— I don’t say shit actually. I don’t think.”

God, he’s insecure, even now, about how crazy you’ll think he is. Like telling your therapist everything that’s wrong with you except for the stuff that they might hospitalize you for. God, does he treat you like a fucking therapist? He’s awful. He’s awful for you. He’s awful for anyone. It doesn’t matter that you’re different— The common denominator is him. He’s a fucking piece of shit—

“I wake up screaming sometimes.” You reply, so softly. You feel his short nails dig into your sides just slightly for a second as he remembers where he is. He’s over your shoulder. No one’s over his. “Happens to the worst of us.”

You grab two mugs from the cupboard— Reaching with the arm he’s not leaning on. “Did you put it out or should I be calling my former C-F-D crew?”

“I put it out.” He notes your mugs. They’re mismatching. One is definitely handmade with messy floral patterns, the other a tourist trap Chicago mug.  They’re perfect. “I—I was cooking something, in my sleep— And then— Then the fire starts.”

You ladle the hot chocolate into the mugs— Usually you’d just pour it straight but you don’t want Carmen to watch you inevitably spill half of it on your counters. You nod, “Do you dream that you’re cooking?”

“K-Kinda? I’m not cooking, I’m the Head, the expediter— And, and my Exec is over my fucking shoulder and he’s— Just in my head.” He swallows, thinking of how to explain without explaining. “And then I wake up, and there’s a fire, and I watch it grow, and I think about what it would mean if I just let it, and how I’d want it to.”

“And then you put it out?”

“And then I put it out.”

“Do you wish you didn’t?”

“I don’t know. And it’s fucking with me. ‘Cause— ‘Cause things are really good right now.” You tense under him, and he knows it’s because you don’t believe him. “They are, they really really are. Sug bein’ away is… not easy, but, it’s, it’s okay—”

“Carm.” Your tone is so accusatory.

“It’s the same nightmare it used to be.” He doesn’t hesitate to correct as soon as you question it. He cannot lie to you. For one, you see right through him. For two, it’s you. You’d rather know he’s insane. For some reason. “It’s been hard. I— I know fuck all, about business, and, and we can’t afford to hire a fuckin’ replacement right now because we owe so much fucking money or the whole thing caves— But it’s— It’s been good.”

You grab a handful of mini marshmallows, splitting them between the two mugs. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nods into your shoulder. “Everyone is… happy, right now. It’s not always fuckin’ breezy but— Everyone’s, everyone’s okay. And I have somethin’ I can actually be proud of, right now. And I have— I — You’re around. N’ that, that has been good. For everyone.”

You hum. Heart full, at that. You awkwardly shift to your fridge, waddling like a penguin instead of turning, as not to disturb Carmen, he chuckles against your shoulder. “You can tell me to fuck off, y’know.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want you to.” You hug his arm to you. This makes him squeeze just a little tighter. You pull out a half-empty can of Reddi-Wip, shaking it violently, as instructed. “Say when.”

You hover the can over the tourist mug, he shakes his head. “Other one.”

He wants the handmade one. Your fingerprints are grooved into the handle. You ignore how insane this makes you feel, and spray whipped cream into the handmade mug. You’re waiting for him to say when.

It’s getting to a concerningly tall pile, at this point. You feel him swallow. He finally says the quiet thought out loud.

“I think I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even in my sleep, I know it’s coming.”

You nod, you stop spraying. You think on it for a beat. You opt to be honest. “I am, too.” You nod. “I am, too.”

“What’d’you think it’s gonna be?”

You feel your neck flare red and hot, guilty. Horrifically guilty. Lifesaver. You spray whipped cream into your own mug. You don’t really want both whipped cream and marshmallows, but it’s a good way to disguise how shaky your hands are. You take a deep breath.

“Think you’re gonna realize I’m not as good as you think I am.”

He kind of, tugs at you, pulling you closer to him, as if to rebuke thee. “You’re very good, Tony.”

You just hum in reply, once again, the pile of whip cream grows— It sputters, and basically nothing is coming out, but you can’t bring yourself to move, so it continues to struggle. He lets you do this, for a moment, before softly, questioningly speaking your name.

You just hum, again. Everything’s fine. Everything’s normal. This isn’t even about you, this is about him. “I’m good.”

“You are.” He declares, like it’s law. He grabs the empty can from you hand and puts it on the counter, then turns you around to face him. You keep your head down, there’s every chance you throw up and die if you— “Look at me.”

“I know—” He does not give you the chance to excuse yourself, he grabs your chin, softly, but still, forces you to look at him.

“You’re very good.” Too much eye contact. Too close. Too sincere. Too much— “Too good, too good for anyone.”

Too good for him. You, of course, don’t think that. But that’s exactly why you’re too good. “I’m not gonna change my mind ‘bout that.”

“…Hope so.”

Carmen can see it, now. The way your jaw clenches, how you’re looking past him, not at him. The way you mirror how he imagines he looked in the walk-in, to you. He decides to take a page out of your book, and hugs you close. “Know so.”

Your chin hooks over his shoulder. You stare down the hall of your apartment, brain somewhere else. He stares over your shoulder at the hot chocolates, whipped cream slowly melting and overflowing onto the counters.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asks, and you can’t help but smile at the ridiculousness of it.

“I—It’s not—This about you, not me—”

“It’s both. It can be both.” The shared burden.

You sigh, putting your arms around his shoulders. “…I’ll talk about it eventually, I promise. Just not… Ready—Right now.” You’re not ready to risk him no longer liking you. You need a little more time to be selfishly avoidant. “Eventually, though.”

He nods. He gets it. He does it.

“How do you think the other shoe’s gonna drop? If it does?”

This was the exact question he didn’t want, but you answered it, kind of, and that means he has to answer it, kind of. He relaxes his hold on you. “Think you’re gonna see me when I’m— When I’m not me— When I’m— I’m like, like my fuckin’ family.”

When he’s angry. When he yells. When he’s mean. When his crises don’t take the form of hibernation. When he’s frightening.

“Think once you realize, you’ll leave, and it’ll all leave with you.”

When he said that everyone’s happy at The Bear, he knows it’s because you’re back in the atmosphere. You bring a lightness that he never could, that he always envied in his brother. He honestly needs to break something at The Bear to get you to come in soon, because it’s been two weeks since you made everyone coffee, and your presence is only finally starting to wain in power. He really needs to start paying himself so you can get on bar.

“I don’t love being yelled at, certainly.”

You know what acting like his family means. Mikey used to do it. When things got bad. And while you got better and better at being understanding, still never managed to keep yourself from tearing up. “But it’s nothing that would make me leave. Nothing that’s not worth it.”

Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ. His bad side, his anger, his violence, his teeth, the parts of his functionality that he hates, you consider worth dealing with, for the sake of the rest of him.

It reminds him, of a question that’s been on his mind for a while now. His chin digs into your shoulder, a little bit. He swallows.

“Do you really not think taking care of people is a lot of work?”

You frown, thinking about it. It is a lot of work. It’s exhausting work, rotten work, to take care of people.

“It is a lot of work.” You tilt your head, kiss his clothed shoulder. “But it’s just pure instinct, to do. “I care therefore I care, or somethin’.”

“What a poet.”

“Fuck off.”

You both laugh; then comfortable silence. He’s the first to break it. “You’re good.”

“We’re both good.” You pull back to look at him. Nothing has truly been resolved, and yet he looks more at peace. Thank, God. You’re doing a good job. You’re not failing again. “You wanna go drink these barely warm hot chocolates in my bed and pass out?”

“Please.”

Carmen never turns off his location, and he never will. He doesn't ask why you want it. He takes advantage of the whipped cream on your nose and the severe lack of napkins in your bedroom when he can. He replaces the Cubs jersey wearing bear in your arms, that night. He hopes he will forever, he's pretty sure he won't.

In five days, this Friday will be the worst Friday of your lives.

But neither of you know that yet. The painting is still not finished, he hasn’t yelled at anyone around you yet, Carmen still doesn’t know about the necklace you’ve tucked under your shirt every day for the past year.

The other shoe still hangs in the air; but not in your bed.

You pray it’s fall will not wake the bear.

FUCK bro.

It was tough writing in a way that was coherently incoherent. Like, neither of these two want to talk about their problems, so they are vague, but I know what the fuck is going on-- And hopefully you kindddaaa get what's going on?? There's still a little mystery I'm holding on for myself, hehehe. I'm very curious if anyone has theories by now tbh. What's this hidden part of Tony's life!!! They're usually so open!!! So what's this shit!!!

I cut out like a WHOLE 300 words of them doin' a smooch because it just made no fuckin' sense. They're both in emotional hell, couldn't force it, even if I wanted it. But there was the cuddlin' and nose kissin' in bed. So I think that's a good caveat.

But the most insane part of this chapter for me, and you'll see later, THIS chapter and the next,,,,, 3 chapters? Were all gonna be ONE. I know. Nuts. I was essentially gonna format it like all snippets of this one week, because as we know, Fridays gonna be the worst friday! But I realized like a quarter way through writing this one, that it simply couldn't just be a snippet. It needed to breath as it's own full thing. As did the next 3 chaps. I think they'll be a lot more digestable this way and also it won't force me to hole away for a fuckin month writing it without giving you a single morsel of content.

Anyways, tell me what the fuck you THOUGHT!! I'm excited to hear thoughts, hopefully all good ones~~~

Next Part

[bu-blegh-ost]

The time has finally come, @girlsonlytreehouse !!!

Today I shall share with you the fruits of my work. But first, allow me to take you on a journey I myself have been through while counting all of this shit down.

First things first, I decided to count the rolls in the context of the characters rather than the people playing them, simply because the luck of the actual people could not be measured accurately if I only take Riptide into consideration (and also I thought it would be more fun). The guys have several different campaigns, some that I do not have access to, so I've decided to seperate all their Riptide rolls into characters they play instead, cause then we can clearly see which character is the luckiest. But ofc if you want this to be attributed differently, the data remains unchanged, so that way you all can interpret the results however you wanted and still have all the info you need on hand.

Another issue were the advantage/disadvantage rolls. When a character rolls at advantage, they roll twice and the only roll that counts is the one that was higher, while the other is discarded and the opposite goes for disadvantage. So for example if you roll at Disadvantage and you roll a nat 20 and a 2, that nat 20 technically doesn't matter. Despite that I decided to count each adv/disadv roll anyway, because despite the fact that it does not count, it was still physically ROLLED, which means it contributes to the character's overall pool of luck. I tried to separate them at first so you guys can make your own decision whether to add them or not, but in the end I decided against it cause it was insanely hard to keep up with. There were just too many and too often, which led me to believe that it was fair enough to count everything as long as they actually rolled a dice.

Which brings me to the last complication, which is of course Gillion's Prophetic Screwup. At the beginning of the campaign Gillion was able to exchange anything that he actually rolled into a nat 20, and in return the DM can change any roll he does afterwards into a nat 1. That way there was supposed to be an equal number of wild unrolled nat 20's and nat 1's to balance Gillion out back to 0, but it didn't turn out this way. In more cases than not, Grizzly would either forget or fail to find a good place to screw Gillion over, so the ability bacame much too unbalanced. So they changed it somwhere in the middle of Edison Kingdom Arc. From then on, if Gill rolled anything from 1-10 it would automatically become a nat 1, and if he rolled from 11-20, that'd be a nat 20 instead. Either way these rolls had nothing to do with luck, as he wasn't actually rolling anything, thus I decided not to count these 'artificial' nat 20's/1's. However I did keep track of them nonetheless and I'll still give you the number of those, just separately, and from then on you guys can make your own decision on whether or not you wish to count it.

OOOFFF ALRIGHT.

Without further ado, here are the nat 20's results (up to ep106):

Gillion: 52

Chip: 58

Jay: 55

Goobleck: 8

Surprised? Yeah I was as well. First things first I never expected this to be this close. And never in my right mind could I possibly predict that it would he CHIP of all people to have the highest score here. But I've seen it with my own eyes. And tell you what. Jay had this in the bag for most of the damn series. She would consistently roll good and always when you need a good roll the most. There were times when she would have such a massive lead it was unthinkable she could loose it. But then she would just kinda...stop rolling good for a bit and allow the other two to catch up. It just wasn't as visble if you don't pay much attention, but I thought it to be cute. It's as she was waiting for them <3 But she was still mostly leading. It was only the current arc that made Chip surpass her. After his terrible luck in Feywilde, he bounced back so strongly right after, that he managed to jump in front of the luck queen herself.

And now I bet you're curious about the other side of the coin. Give it up for natural 1's!:

Gillion: 55

Chip: 53

Jay: 52

Goobleck: 1

You see, I kind of expected it to be Gill, but I need you guys to know that this wasn't the case at all times. Jay? Yes. If there is one thing that's consistent is that she had the lowest amount of natural 1s at all times almost, but the person that was suffering from nat 1 curse for a long while was Chip. In the Feywilde Arc he would be so far ahead of everyone, that I was genuinely sure that there is no way anyone catches up to him. But then he popped off in the next arc with nat 20's and Gillion? Oh my gosh, Gillion didn't disappoint. I've never seen a man fail this much let me tell you XD He ended up with the least nat 20's as well, but I thought the difference would be much higher until he didn't roll 4 fucking nat 20s in ep 100 and then this double nat 20 attack roll in the Black Sea whduihdius AND HE CAUGHT UP AS WELL, more or less.

Idunno, maybe this is just how luck works, but it truly seems that the trio shares their successes and burdens almost equally. They support each other and in return fate has their backs as well. Honestly I couldn't have hoped for better results. Also can we give shout out to Goobleck, the true MVP? He's been on the show only for a while but look at this nat1 - nat20 ratio!!! Go goop man goo!!!

So now for the additional stuff that I also counted just for fun:

*Prophethic screwup nats:

Before the rules changed Gillion replaced 8 of his rolls into natural 20s, and in return Grizzly replaced 3 of his rolls into natural 1s.

After the rules changed he only got high enough number for 4 nat 20s, and a low enough number for 7 nat 1s.

So that together makes additional 12 nat 20s and 10 nat 1s from the prophetic screwup alone. I don't think they should be added, but the numbers are there so feel free to do whatever you want with them :)

Downs and death saves:

Throughout the campaign Gillion went down 14 times and rolled 8 death saves.

Chip went down 6 times and rolled 4 death saves.

Jay went down 4 times and rolled 3 death saves.

No shocker here, Gillion dies a lot XD

Knights:

In their journey Gillion knighted 4 people: Julien Booker, Clorton, Garrieth and Duke.

Corruption score:

Thus far each character has the following amount of corruption points (Black Sea):

Gillion: 0

Chip: 2

Jay: 3

Queen: 1

Gryffon: 2 (i think, unsure abt that one, may edit later XD)

Earl: 1

That is all I have for now. I may be clinically insane :)

Good day to everyone and I hope you found this data interesting. Take care <3

[dc-marvel-life]

Perfect Fit Part 10

Pairing: Natasha x Wanda x reader

Summary: Y/N is the new member joining the Avengers that came from a top-secret program in SHIELD that she was in all her life. Now that she has joined the team, she is experiencing life for the first time. She has caught the eye of the two most powerful women on the team.

Word Count: ~2.6k

A/N: I am so happy so many people like this series. I love this series because I like to read WandaNat and now I am making my own. After all this time I have planned out the series and it will be 20 parts!

Series Masterlist

Y/N P.O.V

Wanda puts a plate in front of me that has a fresh homemade sandwich on it.  Wanda is truly a wonderful cook. She made fresh bread this morning and went out into the garden to get fresh greens. 

“Wanda, this is amazing like always. How can I repay you?” I say looking up at her with a pout on my face. 

“All you have to do is sit there and look pretty while I serve you food. I can say that you are doing a good job at it” she says then leans down and kisses my pout away. All of the team is either out on missions or decided to go into the city, so we had the compound to ourselves tonight. Which is nice, so we don’t need to hide.

“How about I repay you by taking you on a date?” I say hopeful. 

“YES! YES! YES! I would love to go on a date with you” Wanda says then slips into my lap and kisses my face several times. 

“Great,” I say looking into Wanda’s eyes, then I turn and look at Natasha, “Then I want to take you on a date. I want to go on a date with you guys. Plus it will be a lot of fun” I say softly to Nat. 

“I have been thinking the same thing,” Nat says with a wide smile on her face. I wonder what she is thinking about because Nat isn’t this open with any people besides us, but seeing her this vulnerable. It truly is a magical thing. 

“I think you should take Wanda out on a date, then I take you out on a date, then Wanda and I will go on a date, then finally Wanda and I take you on a date. To make it all fair so each of us will get our time together” Nat says then takes a bite of her sandwich. 

“I think it is a great idea. Hey Wanda, do you want to go on our date tomorrow night?” I turn to look at Wanda who has found a seat in my lap. 

“Yes, it will be so much fun!” Wanda says then pulls her plate closer to her and grabs her sandwich. She leans back so her back is against my front. I sigh in contentment and lean back in my chair getting comfortable. I wrap my arms around her waist and close my eyes. I don’t care that I haven’t taken a bite of my sandwich even though I am hungry. All I care about right now is making sure Wanda is comfortable. 

I open one of my eyes for a second to see Nat with her digital camera taking a picture of us right now. I am definitely going to ask about that later. 

For the rest of the day, we just lounge around watching movies and tv shows while cuddling on the couch. At the end of the night, I walked them to their room.

“I had a great day hanging out with you guys like always. Goodnight” I say then kiss Nat passionately on the lips. Then I turn to Wanda.

“For tomorrow night just wear something casual but cute just like you always do” I wink at her and she blushes. I took my opportunity and pulled her in for a passionate kiss too. Wanda opens her door and walks inside. Nat follows suit until I stop her for one last hug goodnight. She gives me a full embrace then goes inside her shared bedroom. I turn to go walk to my room and fall asleep.

—

The next morning I wake up and do my normal routine and head to the gym for my morning workout. For some reason, I am nervous about this date tonight with Wanda. I think it is because this will be my first official date.

I start my workout with full force trying to get out all this energy. After I finish my workout, I look at the time. Normally by this point, I would do my cool-down routine and head to have lunch with Wanda and Nat, but today is different. Today I need to get out of these nerves so I don’t mess up this date with Wanda. This day is the day that is going to determine how my future will be with the couple. 

So today, I decided to skip lunch and do an additional workout

I finished my second workout laying on the ground trying to catch my breath. After a few minutes, I get myself up and head to my room. Once in there for a few minutes, there was a knock on my door. 

“Come in” I yell from my closet. I hear the door open and close, and by the sound of it I know it is Nat. 

“So what happened to you today for lunch? Wanda was waiting for you to come and you never did. She was really worried for you.” Nat says and I come out of my closet. 

“I am so sorry. I wasn’t even thinking when I decided not to go to lunch. I was just too nervous for the date that I skipped lunch” I say and look up at Nat who is smirking at me. She then walks over to me and pulls me in my waist and kisses me.

“Do you feel a little better?” Nat says and I smile at her. 

“Okay, maybe that made things a little better,” I smile and kiss her again then lay my head on her shoulder. 

“It’s okay to be nervous. Trust me when I say this but we are just as nervous as you are. We don’t want to mess this up and lose you forever now” Nat says and she starts to sway from side to side while holding me.

“Trust me, you guys aren’t going to lose me,” I take a deep breath, “I am sorry for not commutationing that I wasn’t going to be at lunch today. I will do better next time” I say then Nat kisses the side of my head. 

“It is okay malysh. Wanda is just worried right now. Go talk to her to calm her nerves” Nat says and I look at her. 

“Thanks, Nat! How about after I talk with Wanda, I cuddle with you while you read?” I suggest while backing away.

“Sounds like a plan” Nat smiles and nods. I cheer and go and find Wanda. I head to the kitchen first and see her sitting at the table with my plate in front of her. I walk over to her. 

“I am so sorry for missing lunch today. I know how much time you put into making lunch for us.” 

“Do you still like me?” Wanda says in a low voice. 

“Of course I do. I like you and Nat. Why would you think that?” I ask her then grab her hands.

“Well you skipped lunch on the day that we are going on a date and I just thought that you didn’t want to go on the date or that you just didn’t like me anymore,” Wanda says and I rub my thumb over her knuckles. 

“Wanda please don’t think that. I am so happy to be going on a date with you and I do like you” I say and see Wanda physically sigh a relief.

“Good to know. I also can’t wait for our date today. Where are we going tonight?” Wanda asked.

“See now that is a surprise for you to figure out later” I smirk.

“Okay, I am willing to wait. Now I bet you are hungry. Let me go and heat up your food for you” Wanda then gets up and heats up my plate. We sit down and I enjoy my food while talking with Wanda. I know that I am never going to be tired of this woman.

After that, I went to hang out with Nat. We cuddled while she was reading a book and I was watching TV. Then it was time to start getting ready for the date. 

Once we both are ready, we head to the living room about to head out.

“Wait! Before you leave we have to take a picture” Nat says with her digital camera in hand. She takes a picture of us with my hand on Wanda’s waist and her hand lying flat on my chest. I give her one quick kiss on the lips and she starts to giggle. I hope Nat got a good picture of that. 

“Perfect! You guys look really good tonight” Nat says, eyeing us up and down. Wanda is wearing black leggings with a band tee shirt on. I am wearing jeans, a blue navy shirt with a brown jacket on top of it. 

We head off to the first part of our date

– 

We pull up to our first location and I get out of the car to open the door for Wanda. She takes my hand and we head inside the building.

“Hello, welcome to Sally’s cooking class. Are you guys joining us for tonight’s class” A worker says to us once we come in.

“Yes, I booked us a class and it should be under Y/L/N,” I say and the woman checks her computer.

“Yep! I see you! Follow me and I will get you prep,” she takes us to our station that has a sink, grill, oven, and all the ingredients that we need for today, “Here are your aprons and I will just need you guys to wash your hands. We will get started with the class in about 10 minutes,” the woman says and goes to help another person coming in the door.

“We are going to be cooking together!” Wanda says trying her best to hold back her excitement.

“Yes, we are. I wanted to learn how to cook so I can help you in the kitchen and maybe one night I can cook for you both” I smile at Wanda.

“Well you don’t have to but I am very happy that you want to. Trust me, I love cooking but cooking with someone else is even more fun. Do you know what we are cooking tonight?” Wanda asked.

“Yes, we are making cobb salad, crab cakes, steak, garlic mashed potatoes, and for dessert an apple cobbler” I say and I can see Wanda getting even more excited. I pull her closer and give her a caste kiss. 

The class starts and we get to work on cooking. It was an amazing time that I am happy that I got to spend with Wanda. The whole time we were giving each other stolen glances at each other, whispering in each other's ears, and soft kisses. At the end of class, we got to eat everything and it was delicious. After finishing cleaning up, we head out for the night.

“That was one of my best dates. Please don’t tell Nat that” Wanda giggles.

“Well don’t worry because the date is not over just yet. We still have one more thing to do” I grab Wanda’s hand and walk to our next location. It was only two blocks away so it wasn’t a bad walk. We get to our next place.

“Are you going to a wine and slip?” Wanda asks jumping up and down. 

“Yes, we are. I heard that you wanted to go to one, so I booked us a time tonight” I say and Wanda gives me a kiss and goes inside. 

We settle down in the place and have a few glasses of wine while painting fruit. I stop myself because I see that Wanda is drinking more than me. That is fine by me because I like to see her letting loose and having fun. After about a little over an hour we are done with our paintings with two and a half bottles of wine. 

I take our paintings and head to the car. Wanda is extra-handsy right now with me. I don’t mind having her hands all over me. We get into the car and head back to the compound. 

We get there and Wanda is still a bit tipsy. We headed to her room to put her in for the night.

“I had a really fun time today for our first date,” Wanda says outside of her door.

“Me too. This is my very first date and I can say it was my best so far” I say and Wanda starts to giggle. I couldn’t tell if it was from the wine or if I said something actually funny. 

“Well I am glad to be your first,” Wanda says and gives me a long, slow kiss. She breaks away from me and goes into her room for a second, then closes the door right away. 

“What’s wrong?” I say to her. 

“Natty is sleeping and I don’t want to go in there and bother her. Can I sleep with you tonight” Wanda says, smiling. 

“Sure, you can sleep with me tonight. You can wear my clothes to sleep” I say and Wanda leaps up yelling ‘yay’ and then running to my room. I laugh and follow her. 

Once we get into my room, I go into the bathroom and run her a shower. She tempted me by asking if I wanted to join her and I said no. I want to be respectful and not do anything while she has been drinking. Once she finishes her shower, I hop in quickly to take a shower and head out into the room. I see Wanda snuggled up in my bed wearing my shirt and boxers as short. 

“You look so sexy right now,” I say and get into bed with her. 

“I bet I can look even better, watch,” she says then starts to take off her shirt. I stop her from continuing. 

“Look as much as I would love to do this with you, but I want to make sure that you are sober and to make it special for the both of us,” I say and she smiles at me.

“This is why we like you so much,” Wanda says then cuddles into my side. We say goodnight to each other and go to sleep. 

I then woke up to a noise at my door. I open my eyes and see Nat coming into the room and head to my side of the bed.

“Hey Nat, what’s going on?” I say quietly so I don’t wake up Wanda.

“I am sorry. I had a nightmare and can’t go back to sleep” Nat says with a little shame.

“There is no problem. Come on in” I open up the cover and pat the bed. She crawls into bed and I wait to see what she does. I know she likes to be the big spoon with Wanda, but right now she seems shy and a little hesitant. 

“Are you okay? Do you want to be the big spoon? Or are you just not ready for touch?” I ask.

“I am fine. It is just,” she lets out a sigh, “ I am normally the big spoon with Wanda and when I have a nightmare she normally lets me hold her,” Nat says and I start to get the idea so I start to let go of Wanda. Nat stops me from doing that. 

“No, it’s not like that. I want to be the little spoon and be held” Nat softly while looking down. I lift her head up.

“It is okay Nat. I am more than happy to be your big spoon and hold you. Come here” I open my arms up to her and she snuggles into me. Wanda also holds me a bit tighter. This is honestly the best feeling that I ever had. For the first time ever in my life, I feel at home. 

Taglist: @tigerlillyruiz@marvelwomen-simp@smromanoff@whitewidowsbite @cd-4848@fxckmiup

Masterlist

[cedar-glade]

A recent trip to Red River Gorge has supposedly led to some interesting findings, or rather a potential accident of some kind. I posted this lichen image on I naturalist to see what it was as I was very unfamiliar with anything that could compete or mat this aggressively to the point that even moss was having a hard time establishing past it. My friend Shaun managed to correct my attempt at Identification and he seems pretty sure about the ID all though im waiting on two others to comment on it as Ide prefer curators in something like this.

Due to recent storm damage and downed trees it has now become an optimum time to look at dry bark before rot starts phasing in and humidity invites more fungus and moss not associated high light exposure and upper canopy of trees in the gorge, it also luckily has caused unofficial trail hikers to learn to meander or create new trails via bushwack and elephant path(desirepaths) in order to relocate the original unofficial trails since trail maintenance only exsists for those that are declared official trails. During one such meander I accidentally walked past this lichen for the first time in my life.

Micareopsis irriguata

Sandstone Sea fog/foam lichen.

A species only mentioned in the Keys that I have but has no photos available due to it's scarcity, it has 1 report in Kentucky besides this current one in Red River Gorge and has plenty of potential to be found in many locations where sandstone ravines are found (WV, KY, TN, IL, IN, OH, PN, AL.) Yet reports are minimal and records are scarce in herbariums. Right now for example I nat has less than 20 reports on the species as a total.

Surrounded by some moss, Cystocoleus ebeneus (black hair lichen); There are actually other lichens in this shot too that are not easily identifiable and what may be Leptogium spp. of some kind and or Scytinium spp. or perhaps some mealybug like look alike maybe even a pin lichen. Found on a humid exposed sandstone cliffs near the base of cliff face, Bison Way downsend trail near the upsend roots to Adena Arch shortcut.

Sea foams and rain forest lichens are very similar and are common names for a group of species associated with a bullate(thick bumpy, often with convex tile-like areoles) thallus that is somewhat reminiscent of foamy surfaces. These aren't necessarily uncommon nor rare in rocky areas but some are definitely less present due to inland association or coastal association and microclimates. This was more of a happy accident to me, I was curious about it, hadnt noticed it in the area before, didn't know what it was at all, so I took a picture to look it up as it was way more dense than a powder lichen (like Lepraria finkii or Botryoleparia lesdainii and had apothecia instead of what I associate with almost ascoma like reproductive structures that are often seen on things like the mucose thalloid mats of Multiclavula mucida and thicker crustose hard algal like thalloid mats like those associated with Dibaeis spp, or perhaps Bacidinia delicata and Baeomyces rufus. Similarly it is notable that im not the only one who associates these species at all because we can juxtapose the name sake of Micareopsis spp., which could of used oides as well to mean "looks like", to Micarea spp.

Micarea spp. or "the lumpydumps" are often mucus like thallus that form thalloid mats on rotting wood and can appear to look like Multiclavula mucida at first glance or similarly Ive looked at Arthonia ruana pictures online which is also an algal film species. So when I speak I mainly am refering to the conifer wood species Micarea (prasina, micrococca, and maleana) respectively. Each associated with wood substrate only( again specifically conifers that are in various stages of decay in humid microclimates) unlike the sandstone dwelling Micareopsis irriguata.