#my cat is okay somehow
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I was gonna draw something new today but had the traumatic experience of seeing my cat fall off the balcony instead
#my cat is okay somehow#I however am not#but I have some slightly old art of my dnd character#soot smokewalker#when I pulled a nat 20 on the dm and they had to let me resurrect an entire battlefield#bested death yet again#this barbarian got his hands on too many powerful magical artifacts and is close to reaching god status I swear#dnd#dungeons and dragons#dnd character#dnd art#my art
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#I'm sure things will be okay with the babies#I'm sure things will work out#I'm sure everything will be all right#it's just going to take time#I've barely adjusted and I'm a human#my boyfriend is barely adjusted at all and he's a human#fancy has a lot of adjusting to do and she's just a little cat#a little gray cat who lost her very best friend in the world#the house still feels so empty without them because even though the babies are here#the babies are still not in the spaces that the boys used to be in#Raleigh used to sit in my window in the mornings and bring me the sun in his fur#he used to meet us standing on top of the washing machine and ask for hugs#I just miss them#just one and I could bear it#this year's been so cruel and I'm so afraid#but I'll find a way to be all right#I'll find a way to stay safe#somehow#I don't know#we'll find a way
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seeing all these posts talking about payneland as if its some tragic unrequited love drives me insane ngl. or i guess not TRAGIC but the posts that are like "man edwin really got every boy except the one he wanted" HE ALREADY HAD HIM. HE ALREADY FUCKING HAD HIM ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?? MAYBE NOT ROMANTICALLY BUT GOD HE HAD HIM. AND HE STILL HAS HIM.
#idk its just annoying#bc to me the show did not frame it as tragic non-reciprocation AT all. it was very clear that charles loves edwin as much as he possibly can#-in EVERY other way and edwin KNOWS THAT and doesnt need him to want to kiss him back or whatever for that to MATTER#just. the way charles and edwin's love is compared to the cat king (who edwin JUST met and who trapped him in port townsend) and monty (who#-edwin ALSO just met and who fell for edwin while executing esther's revenge on him) AND EVEN SIMON (who had a crush on edwin over a century#-ago and was so stupid about it he sacrificed edwin to a demon) and their relationship is seen as somehow LACKING COMPARED TO THAT#it drives me BATTY#like yeah sure edwin likes charles romantically and charles doesnt reciprocate (at least to his own claim/so far anyway) and that can be a#-little bit sad. but FOR REAL#simon got edwin sacrificed to a demon. monty got turned back into a crow. edwin is leaving the cat king. but he STILL HAS CHARLES!!!!!!#okay im done with my angry aromantic rant jgdhdgdhbffh#magpie thoughts#magpie watches dbd#not putting this in main tags cuz its very salty and i dont wanna start anything i just wanna complain HGSJDBFJBF
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Someone confiscate the Kabumisu Rapunzel AU from me, I am not starting a long form anything until my DPxDC novel is done but also I am ONLY capable of doing it wrong
Because:
Kabru MUST be Rapunzel. Mandatory. Milsiril is not letting that little bitch out of her tower. (Also his Main Character Energy)
Mithrun has less than zero drive to do anything ever up to and including wandering around in lonely tower infested woods to find said lost princess
These can only be resolved by Mithrun also already being inside the tower and then we’re into Beauty and The Beast territory too with the Forbidden Room but instead of Cursed Flower there is Cursed Hottie
Tbh Labrumisu would solve this problem where’s my threesome shippers we need ONE (1) character with some goddamn initiative
(Sadly still can’t be me I do not ship Laios in general he’s just not got that Ship Juice)
Milsiril just has such perfect villain vibes and okay I’m selling myself on the Labrumisu because if Laios comes in to kidnap one of her babies (and her broken former coworker) there’s a 50-50 on whether Milsiril just decides he’s young enough to adopt
This is now a main character hoarding situation Falin and Marcille have to come rescue Laios and also his boyfriends from the crazy sword elf and her army of dolls
Which is why I can’t write this one.
Look at that.
Look what happened in like 5 bullet points.
The rails have been OBLITERATED but also it’s just got such good legs someone take this idea and run with it to somewhere very different and much simpler than I am capable of
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kabumisu#labrumisu#rapunzel au#seriously someone lock kabru in a tower#and let his bf(s) rescue him#holy shit mithrun somehow falls out the window and lands on laios#and kabru has to heist his ass back in before milsiril finds out#but oh who’s that charming and handsome man passing this wet fucking cat back through the window#maybe… maybe we leave the tower…#maybe we have an adventure… mithrun has so many stories of adventure…#(he tells them so badly with all the minor side details laios falls asleep before the first monster appears)#laios touden#kabru of utaya#kabru dungeon meshi#captain mithrun#mithrun dungeon meshi#mithrun falling out the window HAS to be kabru’s fault#he sneaks into Forbidden Room and shenanigans ensue who is this sleeping beauty#this sleeping beauty who just woke up and stared RIGHT through your fucking soul#kabru flails mithrun weighs about as much as a wet goddamn towel despite being all sinew and he’s right out the window#kabru: …………….. okay so on the one hand he can’t rat me out for being in here now#kabru: on the other hand I JUST THREW A GUY OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW WE ARE 50 STORIES UP I AM A MURDERER 😭😭😭😭#mithrun: *casual deceleration teleport*#go back inside? mithrun does not know her#he landed on a man it’s fine#laios: … it’s ACTUALLY raining men 😱😱😱#kabru sticking his head out the window: NO WAIT I NEED THAT SPECIFIC MAN BACK BEFORE MY MOM GETS HOME
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AND HGDUO/GOSSIPDUO/QMOCKINGJAYS YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!
#hgduo#gossipduo#qmockingjays#badboyhalo#cellbit#qsmp#listen im rly sad so i need to duo post just a little- I had this queued but swagever im posting it now#prolly up there with k!lckity for dynamics that altered my brain and will haunt me#I think about them so much I’ve had to restraint myself over and over from bringing them up in so many posts you have no idea 😭#if things continue somehow and things are stable enough that i feel okay watching then great awesome#if not then im so glad it gave me them- not only a great roleplay duo but also just good vibes I loved them#just a millenniums old demon and the funny little cat he found on a battlefield solving mysteries and eating people ;u;#gif#maybe tomorrow i'll change my url just cuz idk#I wish we could've gotten more with them... they really are great together- maybe we will- qsmp or not#anyway I have salmon that's gonna go bad unless if I cook it like... right now LOL!
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Anyone else accidentally form an extremely buddie coded relationship with their best friend or am I just gay
#the only part we don’t got is the being in love part. not that I wouldn’t hit but she’s straight and married unfortunately#work together ✅#legally bound to me ✅#the emergency guardian of my kids (my cats) and vice versa ✅#people think we’re married when we go out together ✅#her kids are obsessed with me ✅#literally the youngest one has imprinted on me fr#last week she called me mommy by accident and today she called me daddy on purpose 😭 I was like yeah sure okay I’ll take that#sorry I’m literally always on here gushing about my best friend but I just love her soo much like that’s my second family bitch ….#and everybody gonna fucking hear about it#bc I have soooo much love for my friends but this one is particularly emotionally constipated so I can’t love bomb her like my other friends#and I need to let it out somehow or I’ll go fucking crazy sorry#personal
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I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.
#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever#my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything#i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad#my skin is bad though my skin sucks#in my eyes im disgusting#and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross#but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it#like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly#and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry#this is a problem i have#bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but#even though i am what i am#sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t#thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever#so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me#that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and#give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just#magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats#someday i will have irl friends again#sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just#this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom#i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change
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okay im actually a little emotionally attached to mochis shop being a little cat bookstore now
#so warm......#it invokes the feeling that its been there for 20 years#also seems like the kind of place a witch would run#theres a bunch of plants and cats and warm lighting#im trying to think if the cat witch was a cool side character how would i design her#since a lot of my side characters are cool as hell like murda and lady magg-lynn#it gives off the cozy vibes of broosters cafe#one(1) seating/reading area that consists of a little table and some chairs around it#that usually is taken up by coco/lime/oscar/taffy playing board games or something#some random girl with a crush on lime: heyy is it okay if i sit here and read for a bit?#lime: actually we dont allow reading the books in the store until after youve purchased them. im sure you understand#hes so indifferent and it works against him cuz a lot of girls are like (wow so cool....i want him more now...)#a tiny bookstore on the outter reaches of the downtown area. like before there is a house essentially attatched to the back where they live#oscar somehow affording a house with a storefront in the downtown area#( how did you afford this...)#(i work.)#mochi compensates him appropriately for letting her hijack his store#he doesnt mind though. he wasnt sure what kind of shop to run anyway#plus with magic mochi around he doesnt need to worry about utility bills or furniture or anything ever again so its a fair trade off#(rumor has it that shop has books on anything you could imagine)#someone walks in asking about 8th century pottery techniques from the eastern regions of the kingdom#(let me check the back!) she says and is back with the exact book 5 minutes later
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Welp, I can safely say that October and Halloween have been ruined for me. I envy everyone who can actually look forward to the festivities because my heart is just not in it this year :/
#vent#it's been a shitty month and I'm not looking forward to the future#we still have stray cats we need to catch#work is kind of a shitshow and the encroaching holiday rush is not helping#my friend has been in the hospital on a ventilator for days and i still don't know what exactly is wrong with him besides fluid in his lungs#(he's gonna be okay but I'm still worried sick)#the election is looming and I can't even begin to think about the future of our country right now#and just to top it all off i got a jury summons#I'm just waiting to get in a car accident or get covid or get screamed at by a customer#it's been the type of shitty month that makes me wish i could just stop existing for awhile#I've been going between longing for a nice day trip into nature to reset and just straight up wanting to die#and i get that most of this doesn't sound that bad but with my GAD and social anxiety on top of my depression it's all too much#the worst part is this guilt complex that's been eating at me#I'm convinced I'm a bad evil person who should die horribly and it's hard to recover from that when it's constantly playing in my head#I will never ever be good enough and it fucking hurts#it doesn't matter what sort of evidence there is otherwise#somehow someway my brain will convince me that it's fake and that I'm horrible and should kill myself#all i can do these days is play video games and try not to think about anything
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genuinely so scared about the hurricane about to hit Florida <3 the west coast was devastated beyond recognition in Helene and now getting hit with ANOTHER cat 3 not even a full 2 weeks later? I'm going to kill myself .
and like . I'm from central Florida which generally speaking is one of the safest parts of FL to be in during a hurricane . but after what happened to the south in Helene I keep having this horrible sinking feeling that I'm going to get home and everything's going to be ruined . I love having an anxiety disorder !!!!!!!!
#its somehow worse that im not there#like even if this is a BAD hurricane im going fo be okay#im not at risk#but if i WAS at home i would feel like i would have more control#/#surrender myself ro the LACK of control that comes with a fucking hurricane like i normally do#ive genuinely never in my life felt this scared about a hurricane#ive lived through cat 5s . i will be okay#my family and friends will be okay#but im having such horrific anxiety about this one for aome reason#and i think it's because of how bad helene was in such an unexpected way#vent
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Being able to take both cats out at the same time is one of the many perks of dating H
#Toivo the cat has practically become H's#Pauli the cat is still mine though#but he's fine with H too which I'm proud of since he isn't the most social boy#my cats#h#they've never before been willing to go on walks at the same time but somehow with H they are okay with it#personal
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been telling my siblings 'you would NOT make it in vulcan academy' when they do smth goofy recently and nobody's been able to refute lol
#just me hi#listen here you little idiot... [<- fond]#anyway i've been doing this for months and it brings me much joy hbfhsvh#to me it's just an academy. with vulcans. and they are NOT getting enrolled loll#//so speaking of siblings i've been off and about with my dad more often#which is cool but that means spending a lot more time away from my siblings and ouhhrhrhrhrhrhrhhghhhhhhhhh#[tears in eyes]#my buddies :( Where Are My Buddies :( lmaoo#staring out car windows yearnily bc i want my brother's opinion + dumb joke combo on some random thought i had but he's miles AWAYYYYYYYYYY#i'm home rn but like. Man hfbhsfbvh#//oh man but here was one time one of them used the academy thing on me and i could only sputter. touche motherfunker lolllll#//anyway i am exploding all of them with my mind [<- endearing]#my youngest siblings do art (because they saw me doing it [funkin dies and explodes and cries and stares at a wall forever] lol <3) and#they're ! ! ! ! ? ? ? ?#leo does humanoids + has a more geometric style atm and it's really cool!! he keeps asking me to help him draw hands but he asks me at like#1 a.m. when my brain isn't working practically anymore so it's just me going 'yea and the thumb bone connects to the hip bone. +~Somehow~+#[mystery chimes]' and then he goes off on some sort of random thought and we are derailed forever hgbbfhsh#and ruff is so good at drawing animals it's insane. like have you seen this kid's cats they are Sick ! ! ! i genuinely did a double-take#when i saw her stuff a couple months ago loll#/and then my older siblings are v into video games#which is cool bc if i am ever bored they have like 5000 things that i can suffer on while we all laugh hfbhsfhv#i think i'm still helping test one of apollo's games that he's working on -#he's learning code and all kinds of cool stuff - also he's insanely good at blender like Woauhghsgh. wizard shizz hbfhsvb#+ reed helps him w/ that bc i believe he's the architecture guy lol :) - also it turns out reed n i share a lot of opinions on media and#stuff so that's awesome :D he didn't know what whump was but he liked all the points of it so i tried explaining that to him the best i#could hbshfv o7#+ chess has been trying to convince me to give him + leo a ~mystery~ story to play and i finally caved lmjfhsjf#he's real good at the clues it's going well :3 i am scared for my life HFBVhsfvh#also trying to convince him to play kartrider w/ me again cuz i have leo on it now and we need a 3rd okay-to-decent player in our soon-to-b#posse Loll :33 //i ran out of tag space... ouhhh..... okay then.. ciao ciao toodles :D
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Sorry for my distraction lately; I've been so focused on trying to get fics+ finished for the BB, that I haven't been keeping up with everything everyone else has been making!
That said, tomorrow I have some time usually set aside for writing, and I shall use it to admire all the wonderful works. I plan on making a masterpost of everyone's work for this year's BB so anything that's flown under the radar can be properly appreciated!
#that cat spoke#i've also been doing fun things like remembering to transfer some of my more narratively complete ficlets onto ao3#including. somehow. ghibli gardens#i'm hoping that since it has the opening few scenes it's okay to be on ao3#if that works then I know that if I do more cyoa stories I can link them there
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Some face practice with important TBC cats.
#not me tweaking shadowsight's design yet again lol#i've been collecting fun cat facial expression refs for a little while and decided to actually draw them#i'm quite happy with how some of them turned out. others... less so. but that's okay#it was fun. i accidentally stayed up way too late drawing them#shadowsight#spotfur#ashfur#stemleaf#bramblestar#bristlefrost#tigerstar#tigerheartstar#tagging that guy is such a pain lol#rootspring#warrior cats#my art#update: somehow only JUST noticed i forgot to finish coloring in shadowsight's face stripes. so i fixed that#problems that arise when you change the colors partway through and are also working with dark colors with the sun shining in your eyes lol
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I may already have decided that we're getting a third cat, later this year or maybe next year.
I really want a kitten 😭 our two boys were already six months old when we finally got them, and I really missed that earlier time. we had a bunch of kittens when I was younger but we never had any toys for our cats or anything, so I'd like to experience that properly. and my husband never had cats before, so he's never been around kittens.
I don't know, it's probably stupid, but I don't think we'll want more cats when our boys are gone (though hopefully it'll be many years before that happens), so it would make sense to get another cat while they're still young.
#I hope they'd accept a new cat... they're very close so. I don't know? I'll have to do more research on that#my family never cared so we just got more and more cats and most of them didn't get along#ugh.. I miss my baby Molly. she's still alive but I miss when she was a tiny little kitten. she was way too young but she was born on a -#farm and she was gonna be killed so. she had to be rescued#I even miss the first week where she slept on me and every night she peed on me.#I had to train her to use the litter box and everything#somehow she turned out okay (hey! I was like 18! I had no idea what I was doing and was just handed the tiniest little kitten. I'm glad -#she was old enough that she was fine....)#but man I miss that#personal
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guy i went to high school with texted me "we used to laugh a lot together and now i don't remember your voice"
#i've mentioned him before. a few months ago he was telling me we should go out someday#it's true we used to laugh a lot. he's very funny and had a lot of friends but somehow liked hanging out with me#he also liked telling me about his girlfriends and now he told me about his current girlfriend and said it felt right lol#that it felt right telling me#i keep ghosting him and he thinks it's funny#he was telling me about his dog and he asked about my cats and i idk. i can't talk about Boris. it really breaks my heart#so i said they're okay#and idk why. cause i still cried#📓
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