#to quote jon bois

[dadvans]

the best fandom experience is finding someone who shares your specific id and the both of you committing psychological warfare in the form of worldbuilding at each other in the DMs

[nosyrobin]

Jon: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Wonderboy!reaader: The car takes a screenshot.

Damian: For the last time, get the fuck out.

[pancakerzzz]

inspirational hatchetfield quotes

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

And remember kids, the next time someone tells you, "George R. R. Martin wouldn't make Jon Snow the typical fantasy hero because that's cliche".....

Oh yes he would!

One viewer wants to know what character would you play (on the show)? GRRM: If I could magically clap my hands and become a different person, it would be cool to play Jon Snow who's much more of the classic hero. Everybody wants to be the classic hero! ABC Interview, 2014

GRRM: And the character I’d want to be? Well who wouldn’t want to be Jon Snow — the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love. Meduza Interview, 2017

In fact he already has ☺️

[helpiamlostsomewhereinthegarden]

Clark: Why is Jon covered in yellow highlighter?

Damian, holding said yellow highlighter: You said to highlight the important things

Jon, trying not to cry and smudge the ink: You think I'm important?

Bruce sighing: You can't just colour in his face, Damian

Jon, now crying: HE SAID I’M IMPORTANT-

[crybabycinna]

This is correct and no I will not take criticism pt 3

*in the beginning of their friendship*

Lois: honey I think you need to make some friends

Jon: I have a friend his name is damian

Damian: *in the distance* NO IM NOT

Jon: he’s just saying that

*months later at the justices league satellite *

Kara: Jonny do you have any friends?

Jon: of course I do

Kara: who?

Jon: *points proudly at Damian who is on Jason’s back punching him in the head*

Kara: that one?! Jonny come on

Jon: he’s my best friend

Damian: DAMN RIGHT I AM NOW TODD GIVE ME THE COOKIE!! PENNYWORTH MADE THOSE FOR ME

*bonus*

Clark: I’m glad our boys are friends but uh bruce aren’t you gonna handle your boys?

Bruce: *walking away from the situation and mumbling about he’s too old for this shit and should have stopped at one kid*

[kitschysandglass]

Jon: Alright, we’ve got three ways to do this thing. The right way, the wrong way, and the Damian’s way.

Garfield: Isn’t Damian’s way just the wrong way?

Jon: Normally I would say yes, but since you asked, no. The result of Damian’s way could turn out to be surprisingly well or horribly wrong. It’s hard to tell which one it will be until the last minute, but either way, it’s much faster.

Garfield:

Jon: I’m picking the Damian’s way if nobody else has questions.

Garfield: I feel like you’re spending too much time with him.

[newsiesasvines2]

This quote made me LOL!!!

Martin: I made tea.

Jon: I don’t want tea.

Martin: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Jon: Then why are you telling me?

Martin: It is a conversation starter.

Jon: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Martin: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

[megalithical]

jon, staring up at conner and clark from clark’s arms:

conner, panicked because it’s his first time meeting his new brother: so, uhm- do you want to go out for a blunt?

clark: he’s FOUR MONTHS OLD??

conner: i don't know! what the fuck else am i supposed to do with him?!

[skylee-spider-lillis]

Long time headcanon of mine:

During the super sons era Damian turned Jon vegetarian. He lectured Jon the farm boy that he is that he's eating his animal friends and terrify Jon.

"What do you mean I'm eating a cow?! I have a cow in my family farm I know😭"

"Yeah by eating that stake you're eating your Nancy! And also Batcow!"

Damian would definitely use Jon's big heart and his shared love for animals to get him stop eating meat (good for him!).

[ladystoneboobs]

no of fence to jon snow fans who for some reason care about his exact age, but these discussions just annoy me no end. not only bc there's no way any weirwood flashbacks bran has to rhaegar/lyanna will come with time/datestamps, but also bc there's always comments like this:

SEVERAL turns of the moon (ie, months)?! have these people never seen a human baby before or just have no concept of their ages? even if we take into account travel time from the toj to wf, meaning jon was not a newborn too fresh out the oven when catelyn and robb arrived, there's still a difference between a newborn and a 3mo and an even bigger difference between those infants and an older baby 5-7mo. there's very good reasons these lines were cut. whatever birthdates can be worked out internally for jon and robb from when they're first mentioned as 15 and 16 don't matter in the end, bc grrm doesn't care about a consistent timeline and the actual text of catelyn's pov and ned's convo with robert about cheating on her should outweigh any guesstimates about jon's official nameday wrt robb's. catelyn may not have cared for jon, but she would sure as hell have noticed his nameday if it came before robb's and made him ned's firstborn. if jon's birthday canonically came before robb's then either ned's cover story would not involve adultery (not impossible for him to sire a bastard before his wedding), or he'd just give jon a new nameday along with his new name to fit the adultery lie. it makes no sense for him to lie about one and not the other, undermining the big lie with a little public clue of his story not adding up. whatever else she was as a stepmother, cat wasn't stupid and a bastard who was actually the eldest son being raised alongside her trueborn heir could be an even bigger insult than whether he was born of adultery or not.

BUT, the unknowability of jon's true birthday is not the only reason this annoys me, it's bc this is all based on the assumption that jon must be older since rhaegar/lyanna ran off together before ned married cat, as if both boys must have been conceived asap as robb canonically was when his parents consummated their marriage. and that's not how human reproduction works! even if you don't understand how fast babies grow in the first year, you should know that people who get pregnant do so through ovulation cycles and a lucky sperm finding an egg and all that, not just immediately getting knocked up as soon as one has p-in-v sex for the first time. not unless you only know mean girls sex ed where if you have sex you will get pregnant and die. (even tho lyanna did die, there's plenty of canon examples where pregnancy did not lead straight to death. also examples of people who did not get pregnant right away and even some who are/were sexually active and childless without always having moon tea on hand.) we can't know how long lyanna was having sex before that sperm+egg match happened or even how long she was with rhaegar before losing her technical virginity. if they were married, doesn't it make sense to think they didn't consummate their relationship until the wedding night either? that's the only leverage there is to ensure a status as wife rather than just mistress.

and while i just said grrm doesn't care about exact timelines and a lot is still foggy surrounding the rebellion and esp rhaegar, there is one timemarker wrt robert's rebellion he voluntarily threw in, time and time again: that stannis was besieged at storm's end for almost a whole year. that siege, which mind you, did not match the duration of the entire war. it only started after robert won his battles at gulltown and summerhall, returned to storm's end, and then went out and lost the battle of ashford, leaving his homeland open to the reachermen. the same siege which only ended when ned made a detour there after the sack of king's landing, before going to the toj. even if lyanna may not have given birth that exact day ned found her, she could only be waiting in that bloody bed for weeks at the most, not months. so if rhaegar knocked her up the very same night he carried her off and jon was still a newborn when ned found her after the siege of storm's end had ended, wouldn't that mean lyanna was pregnant for well over a year? that's not how human pregnancy works either! so, maybe that's proof that jon and robb, whichever order they were actually born in, were actually very close in age as babies, much closer than if they were both conceived asap.

and really, jon's actual birthdate does not matter imho, when he was raised not just as the bastard to robb's trueborn heir, but with robb also known by catelyn and the world as ned's firstborn (which he was, in any case, as jon was ned's nephew by birth). what difference could a birthdate before robb's make (even were there some means of discovery) after ned, cat, and robb are all dead? if one is looking only at his birth parents then he's only a firstborn child on lyanna's side, but definitely a second son on rhaegar's side. maybe he was always meant to be a second son with a not much older half-brother! even if the aegon fka young griff is not in fact rhaegar's son, he'll still be known as aegon vi targaryen, meaning jon will never be known as any father's elder son. if i may reference mean girls again, it's not going to happen.

[jakascoo]

Jon: How are you today? Damian: Please don’t make me think about my life.

[nosyrobin]

Billy: Hey, Damian? Can I get some dating advice?

Damian: Just because I’m with Prince and Kent doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

[undermyellowumbrella]

[stromuprisahat]

Jon ran down the stairs, a smile on his face and Robb’s letter in his hand. “My brother is going to live,” he told the guards. They exchanged a look. He ran back to the common hall, where he found Tyrion Lannister just finishing his meal. He grabbed the little man under the arms, hoisted him up in the air, and spun him around in a circle. “Bran is going to live!” he whooped. Lannister looked startled. Jon put him down and thrust the paper into his hands. “Here, read it,” he said. Others were gathering around and looking at him curiously. Jon noticed Grenn a few feet away. A thick woolen bandage was wrapped around one hand. He looked anxious and uncomfortable, not menacing at all. Jon went to him. Grenn edged backward and put up his hands. “Stay away from me now, you bastard.” Jon smiled at him. “I’m sorry about your wrist. Robb used the same move on me once, only with a wooden blade. It hurt like seven hells, but yours must be worse. Look, if you want, I can show you how to defend that.” Alliser Thorne overheard him. “Lord Snow wants to take my place now.” He sneered. “I’d have an easier time teaching a wolf to juggle than you will training this aurochs.” “I’ll take that wager, Ser Alliser,” Jon said. “I’d love to see Ghost juggle.”

A Game of Thrones- Chapter 19 (George R. R. Martin)

[helpiamlostsomewhereinthegarden]

Jon: I got you a Valentine's card.

Jon: *hands Damian a card*

Damian: Oh. Here's yours.

Damian: *gives Jon a piece of paper*

Jon: ...This is a restraining order.