#to or when you have nobody else to talk to. the friend you only talk to when they happen to be around. you never reach out to them.

[specialgradefckr]

tw: explicit content, incest, satoru/reader, satoru/suguru, shoko/reader, codependency, very twisted relationship dynamics, implied abusive/neglectful childhood

suguru had never known what to make of the two of you.

satoru the six eyes and his twin sister. satoru who was his best friend, and you, the girl who looks just like him.

satoru who let suguru bend him over and fuck him until he cried, only to roll off the bed, pulling out his phone.

god. he knew satoru was a dick, but this?

it hurts more than it should. they'd never talked about it, never even called each other friends. he should have figured this wasn't anything special.

but what the fuck is satoru doing on his phone?

"satoru?" he says, trying to sound casual.

everything has to be casual with satoru. low-key. being with him feels like he's coaxing a wild animal. get too close, and he might just bolt.

bolt, only to hit him out of the blue days later with a picture of a candy and a smarmy comment about suguru's taste in food. or his hair. or his power as a sorcerer, or whatever was going through that malfunctioning brain of his.

god, why the fuck does he even like him again?

satoru turns back so suguru can see his smirking face.

god. that was why. the face of a fucking angel, a smile that made his heart skip. why did it have to be on this asshole?

"what, suguru? you feelin' lonely?" satoru drawls.

it's a question he knows the answer to. keep it chill. don't show your hand. don't get too close or he'll get scared.

it aches. "shut up," he says, "i'm just curious who you're texting right after i pulled my dick out of you."

he smirks back when satoru pauses, hesitates.

"who's this person you're thinking about right after you cum?" suguru drawls. he's proud of how distant he manages to sound.

satoru's eyes dart towards him, all ice blue and piercing.

"nobody," he says, setting his phone face down while he pulls on his pants.

he blinks. "what are you..."

satoru ignores his question, strolling out towards the door while waving goodbye. "later, su-gu-ru~"

"but this is -"

before his eyes can furrow, satoru closes the door behind him.

"...your room."

he'd thought that it meant something different this time. satoru always left right after they fucked, he never stayed.

but this is satoru's room. so he'd either kick suguru out, or let him stay.

he hadn't been prepared for him to just... leave. his own room.

what's wrong with him? seriously.

suguru glances at the downturned phone. flips it over.

nee-chan~ (2)

his sister? it beeps.

nee-chan~ (3)

no, don't. i'll ask shoko

you'll ask shoko to do what? satoru has a lock, so he can't see.

seriously, i mean it

after a moment, there's another message.

are you ignoring me, or just busy with him?

don't come over. slut

...what?

the message notification disappears along with the message.

suguru gets a strange feeling.

he looks around satoru's room. he finds some girl's clothes.

does satoru even like girls? they could be yours. he's seen you in his room before.

the strange feeling starts to get. stranger.

there's condoms in here, too, which is weird because satoru has never asked him to use them. or used them himself. he whined when suguru suggested it, actually. asked if he was scared of getting knocked up.

ugh. stupid, insufferable, endearing little shit. he wants to have him in his arms right now.

but it doesn't mater what suguru wants. satoru just left. like he always does, sooner or later.

picking up the phone, he makes his way out. down the hall, towards the girls' dorm.

shoko is already there when he gets there. holding out an arm to stop him.

he raises a brow.

"she's sleeping."

"how do you know i'm here for her?"

shoko shrugs. "why else would you be? saw gojo go in there. anyways, they're asleep now."

"can't be. i was with him just a few minutes ago."

the look she gives him is... strange. everything about this situation feels... off.

he pushes past her, and she sighs.

there's no noise inside, at least. he looses a curse to twist the lock on the door, turn it form the inside.

and it's surprising because - god, what was he expecting?

you're there, curled up beneath the blanket with satoru laying behind you, arms wrapped around you and holding you close.

it's romantic, sure. intimate.

but nothing weird. well, nothing too weird. satoru's always been weird, and you're just like him, so of course you're both weird together. you've always been close. you're his twin sister. what is he thinking?

with a toss, he lets satoru's phone fall onto the floor.

he avoids shoko's gaze as he closes the door and stalks off.

(he doesn't see her anxious glance at the door.)

"he's gone," satoru whispers to you, brushing his thumb over your nipple as you bite your lip.

"shut up," you hiss, putting a hand over his. "i can't believe you did that. why did he follow you? what did you say to him?"

his other hand, threaded beneath your panties, wriggles playfully.

"whaaat? you said you wanted to go to bed. i didn't want to make you wait." he sighs dramatically, "i'm the strongest sorcerer, you know. i need my rest~"

and without you, there is no rest.

as soon as your body is against his, it's like all the tension leaves him. you're there, with him, and everything is all right.

all his worries fade away when he can wrap his arms around you and feel you embrace him in return. mind blank at the soothing sound of your voice. never mind the words you're saying.

"yeah, but do you need to do... this." you say fruitlessly. "you could have come later."

"didn't wanna come later," he kisses your shoulder, "wanted to see you now."

you wriggle in his arms, too wide and too strong to escape, even if you wanted to.

it's enraging. it's gratifying. you don't know what it is, and never have.

he must have been fucking suguru. and after he got his, he came to you.

should you laugh, or cry?

"i could have asked shoko." you mumble almost miserably.

but a sigh escapes you as he fondles your breast. satoru always knows how to make you feel good.

maybe not as good as shoko does, but you're still nice enough not to say that to his face.

"what? to sleep with you?" satoru scoffs, "you can't sleep without me, either."

neither of you have ever slept alone, not a single night in your life.

not even when you were deathly ill and the clan begged the precious six eyes to stay away and not catch your sickness.

satoru had stayed by your side the entire while. held your hand while your head pounded and your body ached. wiped your tears when you cried.

because you were very young, and very sick, in more pain than you'd ever felt before. you had honestly thought you were going to die.

there had been no servants, no mother or father or caretaker. only satoru holding you close, lifting you to drink some water and medicine. telling you that you couldn't die. he wouldn't allow it.

and to your child's mind, that had been reassuring. your brother never left you. your fever broke and you were okay, just like he said you would be.

now, you know better. now you know satoru would lay in bed with people who weren't you, even if he always came back (for now).

now you knew what it was like to have someone else by your side.

(but was it enough? could it ever be enough? could it ever be what you have with him?)

"i'll never know until i try." you turn in his arms to face him, and he allows it.

blue eyes. beautiful, beautiful blue. a pretty face. almost as pretty as shoko's.

you've been learning, lately. you used to think of the mole on her cheek as an imperfection, the cigarette smoke a bad habit.

now? you still think it's a bad habit, but the mole is charming. and you don't hate the smell as much because shoko took you out shopping for perfume.

she asked you which one you liked the most, and bought it for herself. she wears it every friday when you have your girls night out with utahime.

where you get drunk enough to make out with her until she brings you back to the dorm, kissing and fondling and touching.

she asks you if it's okay. asks you how you like it best. asks you to touch her this way, that way.

it's not like how it is with satoru. but she makes you feel good, makes you happy. she wants you to feel good. when you cry she kisses your tears away, like she knows better than to ask but wants to comfort you anyways.

when was the last time satoru tried to comfort you?

"hey," satoru breathes into your ear, pulling your panties down, "c'mon."

when you think of her, your heart flutters. when you think of satoru, your stomach flips, and your whole body aches.

you don't know what love is. you don't think satoru does, either.

otherwise, why would he ever leave geto's arms? when he's so obviously head over heels for him?

you clasp one arm against his chest as you reach down, stroking his cock to hardness. geto must have made him cum (satoru has never made you cum). must have fucked him.

satoru rolls you so you're on top of him.

his shirt is off, baring his lean, muscled chest. your brother, your strong, handsome, beautiful brother, looking up at you with wandering eyes and greedy hands.

your hands are equally greedy. running over his chest, ghosting over his nipples until he shivers. oversensitive. he always is after he's been with geto.

satoru's got a condom out already. he slips it on, leaning forward and pinning you down beneath him.

he doesn't have to use condoms with geto. he doesn't have to be the one on top all the time, either. geto can fuck him. he must like that.

geto's a special grade sorcerer. geto's a man. he's not his sister.

his cock is sliding up and down against your entrance, wetting the condom as he nips at your breast.

he always leaves marks like this, but never where anyone can see.

does he leave marks on geto?

"do you like him more?" you mumble, anxiety swirling in your gut. your lower half is a hot swirling pool of need, leaking for him.

and he inches in, making you whine, making you claw marks into his shoulder. you hope geto sees them.

satoru groans, low and throaty. it always feels like coming home when he's inside you. a perfectly matched lock and key.

his hand threads through your hair. you're so beautiful, so fucking beautiful. he'll admit he's a vain bitch, but who wouldn't be? looking like the two of you do.

maybe one day he should get you to dress up like him. wear a strap and fuck him, that'd be fun.

for now, you're warm and soft and perfect for him. so comfortable. and you're rambling about stuff that isn't important.

"what," he murmurs, breathy from the warmth of you around him, "who?"

if the frustration shows on your face, he can just fuck it away.

"geto." the name is swallowed by a swift thrust, hands planted on your hips.

you wish he'd touch your clit more (you never ask). you wish he'd answer your question (you're afraid to push). but your brother just doesn't think about other people.

"c'mon," he whines, "don't talk about some other dude. you're with me."

"you were with him."

"so?" he thrusts in harder, stealing your breath, like that'll win him the argument, "you're fucking shoko."

satoru fucks you breathless, then. pumping in and out so quickly that the friction has you shuddering, shivering, close enough that you finally start to squeeze around him.

it's always like this with him. you feel like you're drowning, helpless. all you can do is cling to him.

"satoru," you hate how pitiful your voice sounds, "satoruuuu...."

he's hitting you, so deep and so hard it hurts, pierces through the breathless haze and leaves you clenching around him.

"please," your breath escapes you with his next thrust.

please don't leave me. don't abandon me for him. don't discard me now that you have someone better. don't leave me all by myself...

tears dot at your eyes, squeezing around him. satoru's own eyes are wide and wild, his hips shoving into you staggeringly fast.

"i got you," he says, close, so close, "i've got you."

another deep thrust, painful as it is pleasurable, bruising and fast like his fingertips on your hips. he swallows your moans with a kiss.

he thinks he can eat up all your complaints, all your anxiety. hide away from his own by nestling himself in your body.

you don't want anyone but him, right? he's the only one who touches you like this.

the way you squeeze around him, the way your body feels against his, no one else gets that from you. shoko couldn't do this for you. no one could.

you say his name again and he's ready to burst. you love him always. you're so good for him. you make him feel good just by being there.

a part of his life. a missing limb. his precious sister, his beating heart, right there against his chest.

"there," satoru pants, "fuck, there, cum for me, baby..."

it's tears you blink away when he gasps and cums, burying himself inside you with a wounded sort of whimper.

you never do, when it's him. to be fair, you've never done it to yourself, either.

you only ever came when shoko fucked you. but fucked is such an ugly word for how gently she touched you, how soft she smiled.

"satoru," you whine again, "do you like him more than me? i like you more than shoko..."

satoru doesn't answer you. his hands move from your bruised hips to wrap around you, pull you close, plant kisses on your head.

"you know," he mumbles out your name. "you know."

there's a flash of rage. irrational.

he won't say it. he won't even say it. satoru will fuck you, his own sister. cling to you like he needs you to survive, sleep with you every night of his life.

but he won't say he loves you more than geto. he won't even say he likes you.

and you know - because you know him like the back of your hand, you were born with him, you spent every waking moment of your life with him until you came to the school - you know satoru loves you.

but he loves you like he loves air. it's always there. always accessible. it's not like the air will suddenly leave.

you curl into satoru's muscled chest, let him embrace you closer, sink into the silence that's only comfortable for him.

maybe there's something you can do about this.

[izelthewashbear]

The one part of 3rd Life Renchantyn/Treebark we never talk about

Whenever we talk about Treebark/Renchantyn/Martn and Ren in context of 3rd Life, it's almost always about the beheading - the ultimate test of trust between them two, where Ren claimed his place as the Red King, and Martyn finally fullfilled his duty of being his loyal hand.

However, there's one part we don't talk about even half as much, while I think we should.

"On the 3rd Life server, there is a rule - that if Red attacks yee, yee may attack the Red back."

The second half of their test was to see whether they trusted each other enough to not attack each other despite being on two opposite ends of the spectrum - with Martyn being green and Ren being red. Ren passed the test with flying colors right away - despite pointing out the possibility that as a red, he could attack Martyn, he never did - he never even grabbed a weapon to attack him with.

And what about Martyn?

Immediately after Ren pointed out the rule, he was holding a cobweb in his hand - so that if Ren went on to attack him, he'd be able to trap him. He ran away and only came back upon Ren saying that he won't do it.

However, he was given a choice. Ren punched him, not even shedding any of his hearts - but as per that rule, Martyn could attack him back. He was armed with both his sword and Red Winter, he even started placing the cobwebs so that Ren couldn't run.

"Are you with Red King to the end, or will you take Dogwarts for yourself?"

He could very well slay Ren again at that moment. It would not break any rules - Ren attacked him first, so it would count as self defense. Ren was ready for that, maybe even expected that.

"No! I won't do it!"

But Martyn didn't do it. For that one moment, the guy who mostly travelled the server and didn't have the place to call home aside from Dogwarts, decided to trust his only friend and not take everything they worked for together all for himself. He allows the walls he built around himself to crumble ever so slightly, to let that one man in.

...

But what if he didn't?

I can't stop thinking about what would happen if at that moment, he hesitated. If at that moment, despite spending so much time with Ren, he still didn't trust him enough. If his survival instincts kicked in and he attacked Ren again, making the Red King the first fallen player. If he remained at Black Heart Altar alone, with Dogwarts all to himself. If he decided that if not many players trust him, it's better if he doesn't trust anyone, as well. The walls are not ready to be broken down yet.

And then imagine the rest of the games afterwards.

Last Life, where he teams up with Southlanders first - if he turns on them, he'd be outnumbered, so it's like forcing himself into submission. Him hesitating to join Shadow Alliance - he killed Ren last time, why is that man trying to put trust in him again?

Double Life, where he ends up separating from his soulmate either way. He would end up backstabbing Cleo, anyway, so it's better if he starts on his own. Ren still tries to get his attention, but why? What's up with this guy and his weird obsession with his first murderer?

Limited Life. Ren is suddenly gone, so there is nobody else around to pester Martyn. The walls gets thicker and thicker. Scott is nice enough to him, but that pisses him off even more. Reminds him of Ren. This time, he backstabs him with no hesitation, and that leads him to victory. Why trust people, when working on his own led him to his goal?

...

Anyways I have a new idea for a treebark fic, idk if you guys are interested?

UPDATE: It's here, chapter 1 is finished! Enjoy, and brace yourself :>

[theboredhooman]

okay but kame and asa are literally 100% in love i don’t make the rules ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

long post overanalysing and yapping about these two lesbians + spoilers for the ‘mononoke: phantom in the rain’ movie! go watch it right now if you can 👹👹

kame is literally asa’s most precious thing.

asa was soo flustered and didn’t want to tell kame about this, even blushing?? like understandable it’s basically a confession

one of asa’s first reactions was always to check if kame was okay whenever the mononoke appeared

sure, it could’ve just been a friend thing, but asa was constantly looking out for kame in the ooku

defending her and taking the blame for all her mistakes and trying to protect her from harm, standing up to awashima and mugitani

asa i know what you are i saw that blush when kame smiled after you told her she could work with you instead of mugitani (I get you she was so cute tho)

”Such neat handwriting” asa’s eyes were so soft it actually broke my heart when i saw awashima cutting kame’s hair

the well scene….just…

asa trying to pull up kame, and kame doing the same for her

also asa being sort of lifeless while she hangs there until kame tells her that ‘it’ll be alright!/I’ve got you!’ and suddenly she snaps out of her shock, gaining emotions again

also it was so cute when they were talking next to each other at night

speaking of which, kame making asa promise to not let go while they sleep and asa adjusting to a more comfortable grip while holding hand was just; auGHHH 😩

ALSO ALSO “Kitagawa made me realise what was important, what I should never throw away,” and then KAME TURNING TO SMILE AT ASA AND ASA SMILING BACK WITH THAT ADORING LOOK IN HER EYES?? (note: there was also minor foreshadowing here with the empty doll cupboard but i think that had more to do with kitagawa)

and the cut off after saying she needed to say something important was really suspicious like what did she say??

idk how this related but afterwards she became more focused and hardworking on her job(but also more rigid and firm in her beliefs) and kame tipped out her water instead of drinking it (because she became the opposite? more rebellious/defiant maybe? idk)

speaking to the medicine seller, she said she understood kitagawa’s feelings, which makes me think kitagawa also had a thing for her friend lol like there was absolutely something going on there if she(kitagawa) fell apart after her friend left

only mildly related but i believe karakasa’s next target was probably going to be kame and she was used as bait for it (as something a redditor* mentioned was asa may have sent kame away to protect her rather than the reason kitagawa did, OR lure out karakasa) edit: nvm i remembered wrong it was utayama i believe (due to perhaps resentment within the doll’s umbrella*) or asa (following the logic that awashima and mugitani were both the head housemaids(?) favoured by utayama before asa, although again the end goal was probably to attack utayama)

also when asa was addressing the other maids of the ooku before the birth celebratory ceremony and bowed, kame bowed but nobody else did (which means they didn’t respect asa)

then kame got mad and showed her support for her girl like hell yeah 👏 and asa gained more confidence which i think was sweet

oh and asa was also like “the thing that kept me grounded was lady kame” 🥹🥹

she also said (acc. to netflix subs) “And yet, I yearned for nothing more than to share meals with Kame. And spend countless nights just staying up late, giggling and talking to her.” SHE SOUNDED SO LOVESICK 💔

btw love how the medicine seller instantly knew asa was looking for her boo lmao

anyways i think it mayyy not have been requited on kame’s side, at least canonically, but I have literally zero doubt asa was in love with her. then again homophobes and censorship. uh. it’s alright i ship them very hard either way i need more lesbian rep in anime hehe.

in conclusion. Harold they’re lesbians. thanks for coming to my ted talk. yeah o7

*redditors talked about the choice of karakasa as the yokai.(i reccomend reading it, it’s very interesting imo)

[soulmatesinc-if]

i honestly have no idea what made me think of this concept (maybe it was the office. not sure) and i hope you don't mind reading almost 900 words of pure brainrot, but i wrote a thing to get myself in the holiday spirit and what better than to project my favorite pastime of eating every dessert i come across onto my husband favorite french ginger (no matter how ooc it might be). i apologize in advance to the people who may scroll past this, if there is a 'read more' option on asks, i did not see it 🙏🏽

The week before a holiday just means another holiday party at Soulmates Inc.

Sydni, surprisingly, doesn't mind the parties. She's not the most lively person in the world and she honestly doesn't talk to many people at her job besides Wyatt and Rachel, but the atmosphere is nice nonetheless.

The place was alive with chatter, laughter, and the faint strains of a Christmas playlist coming from a speaker somewhere (all the songs are very modern iterations of the usual classics, much to her very mild dismay). Some people chose to mingle near the buffet table, while a few other clusters nursed drinks and made small talk near the tackily decorated tree. The groups aren't too far off from what happens every other work day, with that select few crowding the water cooler or the printer for just a little too long, but now there's little tree and snowflake banners on the walls.

Sydni stood slightly apart from the commotion, holding a plate filled with neatly arranged brownie squares. She helped herself to one or two earlier in the party, but once she noticed that she was really the only person eating them, she asked the person who brought them if she could just take them all. She was only half-joking when she asked, but was definitely surprised when they actually said she could. Her stance against the wall was relaxed, her eyes scanning the room with quiet detachment as she absently bit into one of the squares.

She almost immediately took another bite once she heard footsteps, giving herself an excuse to not really talk to anyone, but decided against it once she saw it was just Wyatt.

He stops next to her, opting to lean against the wall for support.

“Whoever's putting these songs in the queue needs to be fired,” he says in lieu of a greeting, immediately fixing his sunglasses to rest atop his head.

She hums in agreement and Wyatt flashes her a smile. Then, just noticing the plate in her hands, his face brightens and an 'oooh' sound comes from his mouth before his hand lifts towards it.

Sydni pulls the plate out of his reach, earning her a confused look from him. She doesn't miss a beat. “I'm not sharing.”

“What?!” Wyatt's look of confusion immediately shifts to shock as he pushes himself off the wall and his hand flies to his chest.

“Did you seriously think that nobody saw you by the dessert table the past fifteen times you were there?”

She knows that he knows what she's referring to. In the hour or two that this event has been going on, Sydni has watched him leave the dessert table with something at least once every 5 minutes. He's lucky that everyone else has been too busy eating the actual food and socializing to notice, and he's even luckier that Sydni didn't care enough to call him out earlier. She saved her brownies and that's enough for her. But now he wants those, too, so she has to say something.

An instinctive noise of protest comes from him before he snaps his mouth shut. Wyatt's face twists into a picture of mock indignation, though the faint color creeping up his neck betrayed him. “Sydni—��

“Andrew,” she cut him off sharply, but there was no real venom in her voice. “I looked back at the table every few minutes and without fail, a new portion was gone every time. I actually like these.”

He heaves a heavy, almost pleading sigh before clasping his hands together. She always forgets how drainingly dramatic he can be.

“Sydni.” Oh no. "My friend. My confidant. The only person on my Beets & Dungeons friends list—"

“Christ.”

“—I am deeply, terribly sorry for being so selfish. I was swept away by the holiday spirit, you see, but I'm sure you don't want to hear my oh-so pitiful excuses.”

Sydni stared at him, her expression unchanging. She let the silence stretch between them for just long enough to make Wyatt shift on his feet a little bit.

...It shouldn't work. It really shouldn't work.

...

What was that about being swept away by the holiday spirit?

“...Three,” she said finally, her voice clipped as she slowly offers up the plate.

He perks up immediately. “Five.”

“Three.” He can't be serious.

“Four.”

“One.”

Wyatt's shoulders slump slightly in defeat as she plucks a single brownie from the plate. “...Okay.”

As he bit into it, his expression shifted from mock dejection to genuine delight. He gives her a playful 'can you believe this?' look before shaking his head with his brows furrowed.

Sydni glanced at him sideways, shaking her head but saying nothing. A faint smirk tugged at her lips, though she quickly smothered it.

He catches the flicker of amusement and grins again, still triumphant despite his loss of two extra possible brownie squares. “You’re too good to me. Cheers.”

Sydni scoffs before deciding to indulge him, picking up the square she bit into earlier to lightly press against Wyatt's before they both take another bite into their respective pieces.

He makes another delighted sound before they slip into a comfortable silence, opting to just watch their co-workers mingle around them.

The silence seems to get Wyatt thinking, though. He turns to her with an almost scarily genuine look. "This playlist is the worst thing I've ever heard in my life."

“I'm telling Eugene to change it.”

“Thank you, fuck.”

Oh

[triptychgrip]

So sorry to ask @arom-antix but do you think you (or someone else, if you see this first) could send me screenshots of thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai’s post? I am now blocked, so can’t see their analysis for myself 🙃🙃🙃

The topic of plagiarism reminds me of something I’d refrained from including in my earlier post which, in my opinion, is a tendency as damaging to fandom as their trying to dictate how others enjoy the source media: their preference for competition over fostering community

…even when they have posted very openly about wanting to feel like a more rooted part of the fandom.

This actually gets at something you already touched upon @arom-antix and I love how you framed it:

“And considering Samurai believes their interpretations are the most correct according to canon and that anyone who doesn't share those views is illiterate (I can't find that screenshot rn, you're free to doubt my claim), shouldn't it be good that Vic came to the same conclusions? Doesn't that mean that Samurai's analysis is being backed up and that Vic is not illiterate? But Vic's analysis gained more traction and that's apparently enough to accuse the fandom of being a waste of time and energy (Fig. 22).”

I’ll mention a similarly telling example of the focus on traction/ the tendency towards competition: thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai made a post during the past summer, I believe that (paraphrasing) said something to the effect of: “when you plan to post something only to discover that someone has already gone ahead and posted nearly the exact same thing, it makes you wonder why you even bother, sometimes”

I’ll be honest, I found this line of thinking very bizarre, and even more bizarre to readily admit.

Because if you profess to care so much about canon compliance while also feeling that nobody is capable of presenting the kind of intellectually based discourse you really want to see more of, why is someone else posting about something you share interpretations around such a bad thing?

Might it be because they did it first?

I think this honestly goes beyond “well I spent a lot of time developing the post and now that’s all a waste”. Because here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be a waste, depending on your attitude.

Shouldn’t you feel happy that someone else is analyzing things the way you do? Can’t that be a platform to foster a connection and maybe even a friendship (i.e. “I noticed your analysis really resonates with my own headcanons, would you be open to talking about them?”)?

Now, maybe they in fact did reach out to that person via DM’s or a non-public forum, but given the things I’ve already seen people bring up, I highly doubt they did. Because as has become increasingly clear to me, their main drive seems to be to preference appearing relevant over cultivating connection.

And before I get accused of speaking in absolutes, I’ll say that it’s likely true that thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai was indeed genuine on the occasions they’ve said they want more fandom friends/community.

However, it has always read to me that those statements were extremely conditional, and left many things unspoken like: “I want community, as long as I am perceived as the most relevant. Community, but only if I am the foremost authority figure, the person who posts first, and comes out looking like I have the most unique thing to say.”

(If you can’t already tell, I have some long-harbored frustration around this…mostly due to my making excuses for them for far too long.)

I remember a post they made shortly before going on a social media hiatus in which they mentioned (again, paraphrasing) feeling like they are the antipode of fun.

I can’t remember the exact wording, but it was essentially a very vulnerable post about feeling like the odd one out in the fandom, and a general struggle to make friends. I believe I had commented to them with something sympathetic — if anyone who they haven’t blocked wants to look this up and verify, feel free.

But what I wish I would have added had I been more brave is that a really valuable opportunity for making friends could be to engage in conversations with people from a place of curiosity. It’s like you’ve said so well already, @arom-antix : come at things not from a desire to prove anyone wrong — nor in order to come out looking like you’re the only one with something worth saying — but because you genuinely value the opportunity to connect with others around something you’re both so passionate about

Hey, just wanted to reach out to say that I found you pointing out and calling this person was really great and you shouldn't have apologized. It was incredibly true what you said, and to be honest it seems out of touch with the reality of a great deal of the japanese fandom, the nuances and their culture. Also, it was as you pointed out, extreme and may I say rude. I want to mention too that the way it was written, as if entitled of the knowledge and the 'explanation' made it all worse in context of the 'fucked up'. The original poster always gets away by using the 'well-written academic'' statement of their 'metas' as an excuse to do or say and make everyone else agree and if not, uses victim narrative and discourses exactly selecting wording for people to agree on it or feel bad.

I don't know if they tagging you in the way they did made you reblog and apologizing/backing up, but no one thought bad about you pointing it out. On the contrary, a lot of people had been bullied and discriminated by this person when they called them out/disagreed going onto lenghts of sending their friends to harass people, and the other persons can't even defend themselves because they are effectively blocked. To quite a few people in the fandom has been done, even accusing them as 'acephobes' (when they're not) or even Nazis by spreading lies. So yeah, I just wanted to say that. I think you were right to call them out publicly.

Thank you very much for this ask. To be completely honest I agree with everything you said here and don't actually feel bad about pointing anything out. I mainly apologised because I didn't want any potentially poor phrasing from my side to cause unnecessary hostility and because I myself have gripes with this person's behaviour but didn't want to cause a scene.

My honest opinion is that they have a serious issue with taking accountability for their own mistakes and highly overestimate their own intellect. If you're reading this, @thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai, sorry if I seem harsh, but it's true. I saw your post lamenting how you're the only academic meta writer / fan in the fandom and I didn't interact then because I honestly do not care enough to start that drama but with the information Blonndiec has just given me, I think it's necessary that someone calls you out.

You're not an academic. You're not beyond the mental capabilities of other fans. You're actually incredibly childish in your metas and analyses and I am not kidding when I say that I was halfheartedly writing essays more academic than every analysis I've seen from you when I was barely a teenager. I don't know how old you are and I frankly don't care. You're not as clever as you think you are.

Also, don't think I didn't notice that you didn't reblog my correction (link here to my correction and here to their "response" for those who didn't see that exchange) of your post so that you could control what your followers saw of the exchange. You're the opposite of an academic. You control information to tailor the narrative, you don't cite your sources properly if at all, you don't format your posts in anything close to how an academic analysis would be, you make unbased claims, you reference posts and canon material without in any way indicating where that information is from, you reference your own (equally unacademic) metas and your conclusions from them without indicating what post it's from or that it's your own theory this new one is based on and instead present it as a common fact, and I could go on and on and on. Your posts are also riddled with logical fallacies and you talk in absolutes and opinions when there's no canon basis to claim such things. I'm sorry, but that's not academic in the slightest.

To be clear, you don't have to be an academic to post on the Internet. You don't have to be anything at all. You could up front be a genuine idiot with no remorse and that's fine. But when you claim to be an academic and also put down the rest of the fandom for not being on your level, you have to be able to back that up. It'd still make you sound like a prick but at least your arrogance would have a basis. It currently does not.

I haven't personally seen the discussions that Blonndiec is referencing and I'm not going to claim anything definitive (because that would be unacademic of me, take notes) but if what they're saying is true and did happen as described, which I have empirical, if anecdotal, evidence to believe could very well be (a friend of mine has personally been blocked by you after they criticised you without actually mentioning your name which I of course can't prove is the reason for the block but the timing is awfully convenient), you should know that you should be ashamed of yourself.

If there's context missing, feel free to enlighten me and call out any incorrect accusations. You have every right to defend yourself. However, I encourage you to cite your sources since you're such an academic. If you don't, then it's just your word against Blonndiec and anyone else who might comment's word and that doesn't prove anything. Don't misunderstand, acephobia and nazi rhetoric should absolutely be called out but only if it's actually happening. False accusations can ruin lives. I hope you know that.

I'm not a fan of calling people out publicly and, again, thank you for this ask, Blonndiec. But considering many of the issues I've personally seen and those I've been informed of by second hand sources were posted publically, I don't really feel bad about calling this out. I could do a full breakdown of just the insulting "academic" comments alone and how there's no academia to be found in said academic metas and, Samurai, if you give me reason to, I will show exactly what I mean point by point (and academically just to give you an example of even low level academia).

If you respond to this, do it in a reblog. That's what a real academic would do. If I'm wrong and you can prove it, you'd have no reason to not show my post in your rebuttal. If I'm right, you'd have every reason to be upfront about your mistakes and how you intend to rectify them. There's nothing wrong with being wrong but there's a lot wrong with refusing to admit to it in a way that lets others peer review you (academic thing, look it up) and come to their own conclusions about the situation. That's what you did when you just @'ed me instead of reblogging my response. A true academic wouldn't hide a peer review. You'd know that if you were one.

I swing in many academic spaces and yet that doesn't make me any kind of expert and I don't claim to be one because I'm not. But since you want to be one so badly, reblog this with a response and show us all how smart you are. I'm dying to know what your academic take on this is.

[spaciebabie]

at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!

[nbmudkip]

rehyperfixating on a children’s game that came out in 2015, is one of the least popular entries in its series, and has minimal content, the vast majority of which i’ve seen before. the series has been dead for nearly 10 years, nothing has happened recently that would warrant anyone’s returning interest in it, very few of my friends give a shit about this specific game, and those few who played and liked it in the past have no reason to give a shit about it at all right now. i have been coasting through on a playthrough i’ve been doing with a friend who’d never seen the game before and who was kind enough to let me show it to them, but we just beat the game, and after we play the epilogue we will have nothing left to do, and on top of that they really have just been humoring me as they have their own very strong current hyperfixation they would much rather be thinking about. also i am depressed enough right now that literally nothing else except for waiting to play this game with them and playing this game with them and watching them enjoy it at least a little has been able to briefly quiet the constant cacophony in my head screaming how much of a worthless, lazy, constantly-failing miserable excuse for a living person i am and how much better everything would be, especially for myself, if i stopped existing lately. would anyone like to volunteer to 🔨💥⚒️Kill Me With Hammers🔨💥⚒️ because i would really like for someone to 🔨💥⚒️Kill Me With Hammers🔨💥⚒️ right now

[moonedman]

All other sagas done in previous or future posts

Thunder Saga

Suffering

Fun fact this song doesn’t have any viola to foreshadow that it’s not Penelope

It does have a lot of piano, which is Athena’s instrument. If that means anything to you guys.

Real fans know Odysseus isn’t a bitch coward

“Take the sufffering from you” by KILLING HIM she’s not wrong though

If i remember correctly odysseus was a boat guy before he was a soldier so this song is so goofy to me [he is NOT afraid of the water}

Manipulation time

“Oh nooo” she is not invested

Manipulating the ocean and direction fixation smh

I can’t imagine watching my captain do this

“The things I do for you” yeah we know you’re going to do anything to get home to your wife.

Different Beast

Hehe the transition

The hiss

Hough ho ho

I’m so insane about this voice acting

“We are the ones that feast now” sirens literally just want a snack this guys never heard of a healthy ecosystem and food chain

Killing them all couldn’t have been good for the fish population

This is going to affect the trout population

“Man made monster” they’re changingggg

Storytime

“No more of us deceased now” boy howdy do i have new for you.

“Can’t take more risks of not seeing my wife” he really lives up to that his life is his priority in a way

He genuinely. Didn’t need to drown them. Also so many of his own men drowned. Like buddy.

“He is the different beast now” switching the lyrics up because. Nobody else could be thinking that. He’s becoming more of a monster than everybody else

Not that it’s a competition

This won’t have any lasting consequences, surely

Scylla

Her vocals are so good

Now is not the fucking time Eurylochus

“Hm I just watched Odysseus ruthlessly kill a bunch of sirens and come back from the underworld a little different. Is that a scary cave we’re going into? Yeah, i need to tell him about the bag”

“Leaving them feeling betrayed” odysseus feeling right now and his crew in two minutes and thirty seven seconds

“Breaking the bonds that you’ve made” same thing they’re betraying each other this will continue to happen

Eurylochus can apologize Odysseus take notes

“We both know what it takes to survive” god i love this song because it’s like Scylla is talking to Odysseus [he’s certainly not talking to his crew may as well talk to Scylla]

“We only care for ourselves” Odysseus rn fr fr

Odysseus you’re so fucked up right now i am insane about you and Eurylochus right now

“Drown your sorrows and fear” odysseus right now and also the end of get in the water

Also. drowning is a very common thing to happen around Odysseus and to himself (he drowns at the end of Get in the Water right that’s what that is i’m not misreading those lyrics and animatics)

“We must to what it takes to survive” laying it on thick that Odysseus is going to end up sacrificing everybody in order to get home.

Eurylochus was going to die in that cave. He was supposed to die in that cage. His brother was going to sacrifice himself along with five others. Instead of the usual “i can talk my way out and find a way out” attitude, he just straight up killed six men willingly.

“We are the same you and I” and Odysseus joining in on the melody? Shoot me dead i love this song it’s easily one of my favorites holy shit

Mutiny

Eurylochus knows Odysseus is a liar and witty. He’s expecting and ready for a lie or elaborate story. Some excuse. And odysseus can’t give him one because what he did was just his plan and final decision

“Six of our friends” one of which was supposed to be him

“Say something” “I can’t” really shows the crew [not just the listener] how far gone he is

Crew backing Eurylochus vocally and literally

“You must carry all the blame” when does the reason become the blame - Odysseus is the reason they’re there in that situation

To an extent

“I am not letting you get in my way” woah buddy. Different beast and Scylla lyrics were really setting that one up.

Perimedes!!

Luck runs out tune

“Relied on wit and then we died on it?” and whooo called it? Eurylochus.

Finally tied to a pole.

What.

Does nobody know their own gods? Like the sun god statue. Golden cows. Hmm. golden cattle being a sun god symbol. Nothing fishy there, right?

So desperate to get home vs giving up

“I need to get home” not we. not them. He does. His life is the only one that really matters to him, deep down.

“We can get home” he’s trying to convince them but we all know this is about him

GOD voice acting i love you

Even after everything they’re still listening to him because they know he’s right

Thunder Bringer

Is he trying to say only he can be proud in the horniest way possible.

He is.

Being able to undress pride in a “I’m stripping away your pride because that’s my job” kind of way

“Pride is a damsel in distress” being a hero and if he’s the only hero he’s the coolest

Word play of “Thunder, bring her” and “Thunder bringer”

God games

He’s holding a lot of gruesome fate and damned weight.

The way everybody throughout the musical sings “please” makes me ill 

His men are watching him become a monster in real time for his wife

I’M ILL ABOUT THEM

Piano? Like Athena?!

I’m so insane about the Ithaca saga do you tumblr people want to hear my full analysis of each song to celebrate

[unproduciblesmackdown]

(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this

[girlivealwaysbean]

hey god if you've created someone for me can you introduce me to them sooner? i kinda need them now

[qumiiiquinnquin]

i am genuinely so fucking tired being expected to know when you want me to stop talking to you and just leave instead of you directly telling me. you never fucking tell me. im supposed to pick that up on my own and i cant until you start saying shit like "im tired" or sighing heavily when you think im done or you just sit there on your laptop or phone no longer acknowledging me, waiting for me to leave. you wont even look at me. always as soon as i leave i hear it - you immediately hitting unpause or putting in your headphones and sometimes even going into voice chats to talk to other people. i wonder if you've noticed that ive picked up on when you're evidently tired of me talking that i just cut myself off and walk out. or i wonder if you're grateful that i finally put that brake on myself and leave you alone. im tired of being ignored and just talking to a wall. im tired of half-hearted acknowledgment to what im saying when you aren't actually bothering to listen. im tired of having to just leave when i realize itd be convenient for you because you're bored with my company. and its not just you - everyone in this fucking house, this entire family, does it.

[straightlightyagami]

you know until relatively recently i thought i'm at least like.. noticeably above average appearance-wise, i took it basically as a given since i was a little kid. but then i realized i'm actually ugly as fuck and nobody would ever pay any attention to me or find me good-looking or hot or whatever and i will be alone forever and die alone. so.

[tasmanianstripes]

Maybe it's the result of my main fandom for the majority of my life being one where canon just genuinely doesn't exist, where there are so many different canons and literally any sort of interpretation of a single character is correct and can range from a moronic maniac with a chainsaw to a depressed old asshole boss, but

Literally who gives a fuck about canon?

Especially when the character is practically a blank slate or if it's an AU

Like, I'm sorry, but if you're butthurt about a mischaracterisation of a fictional character in an Alternative Universe then I don't think you understand what an AU is

[britneyshakespeare]

i was hanging out today w a friend i hadn't seen in awhile and kaily and i were catching up on all the drama involving him (my controlling manipulative and abusive ex-friend) and how he keeps going out of his way to ask ppl about where we are and find us and how the only reason i think i get out of it is bc i don't go to the same college as him anymore, i hardly ever leave the house socially and the few ppl i do see all have no connection w him anymore, and i don't work at some place where he can just show up. i work in pre-k-to-12 public schools. my schedule in terms of days/location is irregular anyway, but if some strange adult man shows up for no particular reason and seeks out a female employee, you do not just get let in. that is how you have the cops called on you. but he does know where i live and i have been paranoid about him finding some excuse to show up at my house. i've had legitimate nightmares about that. i never stopped having nightmares about him i'd say at least once every other week and i haven't talked to him in almost six months.

i don't like at all how i don't feel safe in a way that means i have faith that the issue is over; the person is out of my life; our communication will not be renewed against my will once again. bc all of those things have been attempted. i feel safe in a way that means he happens, by circumstance, not to be able to access me in any convenient way to him. any way he could find me (the only way to feasibly do that would be work/home) would be a justification for calling the police. but i don't have any faith that he wouldn't try, because he has shown himself as being capable of being that low. and if i switch jobs or transfer schools finally and he finds out about it, he can just make it an issue there if he so feels like it, and i'm sure he will. he's a monster. he gets some sort of thrill out of making other ppl feel unsafe and having all the control in the situation

[himblebo]

I haven’t looked in on the unfinished side of our basement in a while and… my dad’s hoarding has actually gotten significantly worse. And we just heard from my grandfather last night that he’s pretty sure my grandmother is going to pass soon. And when that happens, my father’s hoarding is absolutely not going to get better. So. That’s a lot. I brought it up to my mom and she told ME to research psychiatrists that specialize in hoarding. It’s a very eldest daughter kind of day.

[malkaviian]

i am having a great time here on life dot com