#to get the life i want for myself. but it's so hard. i hope i wont die unhappy and full of regret
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deathbxnny · 3 days ago
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hey i was wondering if you could do how arcane characters would react to seeing their partner looking really good dressed up?? also i love ur writing!!
Arcane characters reacting to their s/o dressed up really pretty. | Vi, Ekko, Jinx x Gn!Reader
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Thank you for the request, Anon, and I hope you'll enjoy this!!<3
Content: Established romantic relationships, fluff, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns.
((Not proofread))
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》VI
"Ooh... where are we going?" A wide grin rested on her lips as she watched you put on your fancy shoes and straighten out the last details of your pretty attire. "I'm going out with a couple friends." In other words, she was not invited. But Vi couldn't hear you over the sound of her mind spinning with many different thoughts.
Humming, she leaned against a wall next to you, intensely dark eyes staring you down with a glint that made you shake your head in defiance. "No." "Oh come on, Cupcake! Do you really have to go out today? I mean... I can go along. It's dangerous around this time of the night and-" "-Viiii. I can take care of myself." She pouted at your clear disagreement, hardly attempting to even hide how much she loved the way you looked.
"Aw... please? At least let me tag alone so I can show you off to everyone." Typical. And yet, you had a hard time denying her anything when her hands suddenly sneaked around your waist so smoothly. She always got what she wanted out of you in the end. Not that you necessarily minded.
"Fineeee... but keep your hands to yourself around them." You huff out whilst your heart warmed a t the sight of pure excitement on her face. But the slyness in her smirk didn't leave as she gratefully kissed your cheek and let go. "Can't promise you that when you're looking so good, unfortunately... but I'll try. For now."
Rolling your eyes with a smile, you let her happily run off to get ready, glad that she enjoyed your outfit a lot.
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》EKKO
He was stunned at the sight of you emerging from the bedroom, fully dressed up so beautifully it left him speechless. The Firelights were having a huge festival in celebration of a recent successful mission, and of course, you were both expected to look your best. And you weren't the type to ever disappoint either.
It was rare to see you dressed up so nicely, the cute outfit being one he had only seen a small couple of times before due to your line of work and life circumstances. But in his mind, you looking so good was a sign of success. He wanted you to be able to dress that way every day, perhaps another motivation of his to continue going.
"How do I look?" You ask, the nervous tone in your voice making his eyes soften even further. "You look great. Who are you trying to impress, hm?" His words were playful as he grabbed your waist carefully. Ekko mirrored the shy smile that crept onto your lips at his question. "A certain someone. I don't think you know him, though." You played along, watching as he raised a brow with an unimpressed smirk.
"Hm... maybe we shouldn't go out then-" "-Oi! Why are you guys taking so long? Let's get going." Scar's voice made you both jump, as he appeared in the doorway and waved you over. A sly smirk crept onto your face as you quickly followed after the man. "Ah, there he is! See ya around, Ekko!" "Hey! I'll remember this-!" Running after you two, he couldn't help but laugh a little.
The festival was going to be great, to say the least.
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》JINX
You were just trying out some new clothes you had gotten. Nothing special and definitely not for anyone else's eyes, except for hers. Once you were done, you were quick to hunt down your girlfriend to show her your outfit. "Jinx! How do I look?" You asked, a happy smile on your lips as you now stood next to her, whilst she tinkered away on some projects. Removing her googles, she glanced up at you and blinked in surprise, near speechless for a moment.
Nervously shifting under her intense gaze, you wondered if she didn't like it. "Uhm... should I go change or-" "-You look really good..." She muttered thoughtfully before a large grin crept onto her lips mischievously. "A bit too good! Makes me nearly jealous, pretty. How about you dress me up too so we can match?" You should have honestly seen this coming, as she enjoys doing cute things like that with you.
And so, you did as she asked, whilst she painted your nails to match her own. By the end of it, you looked like you were headed to a fancy event, something she found greatly amusing. Kicking a nearby radio to make it play music, she held out her hand to you with a bright smile. "Alright, let's get this party started!"
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cherie-doll · 2 days ago
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Hey Cherie!! It’s been so long hehe I hope you’re well 💖
Can I request a How the COD men reacts when their s/o was called a nasty name like ‘stupid cunt’? Once again projecting myself a bit here, I always regret being stunned and not punching that idiot in the face 🙂‍↕️🫠
Hope you stay happy and blithe and healthy ✨✨
May you forever stay cheerful as well, my beloved <3
Speech like this just comes off as extremely repulsive and obscene to me and I feel deeply for anyone who's had to deal with this. I won't go into detail but just know whoever is reading that it deals with this sort of theme and please just scroll or avoid if you want.
𓏴𓏴 Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves
Price
He does not let that fly in this base
Doesn't care if he gets called prude or mocked for not allowing it, he'd rather there be respect
Basic decency is something that is quite literally the bare minimum for soldiers
No way will he let you be dragged around with that filthy speech especially not when you're his s/o
He lets you know he'd gladly deal with it himself but you manage and tell him you'd like to take care of it
Ghost
He's not foreign to vulgar words or foul language but he isn't okay with it when it's used to degrade someone
He's heard it in public before but never has it been directed to you, seriously what was that guy thinking? That he could just say it in passing to you on the street and walk away like it was nothing?
Maybe he hadn't seen your tall masked boyfriend until he stopped and turned, heading to them and the look on their face
Eyes as big as saucers as Simon planned to rearrange their face
Soap
Quick, fiery temper strikes faster than a cobra
He's at their neck in an instant, trapping them in a death grip and staring daggers into them
He doesn't care that people are staring or that he could get the police called because he's shouting threats
And his anger won't subside afterwards, it leaves a stale feeling that has him crossing his arms and serious for the rest of the day
It had gotten him all riled up for the rest of the day that he's on the lookout for anyone else looking to insult you
Gaz
You've almost never seen Kyle get mad
Oh but he was furious, fire raging within him, knowing he was really about to do something when his jaw set hard and he went real silent
He didn't make a commotion, didn't shout or yell, just silently made his way over and took care of the problem
You didn't get to see what he did to the guy because he somehow made sure you didn't, and he wouldn't tell you either when you asked
Instead choosing to distract you with something else
Roach
He's not a fan of foul language and hates hearing it used even more but being around others so much he can't really avoid it
But the sentence that some idiot had the audacity to say to your face shocked him
How could they?
How much hatred could be within them that they're letting such words carelessly slip from their tongue?
He's worried about how you're feeling more than anything so he'll take you away before anything else could happen because he doesn't want you to show it hurt
Alejandro
Marking their grave as we speak
Don't be surprised if you see him already loading a gun
Oh boy, it's gonna be difficult to get him to calm down
He's cursing and throwing profanities much worse to the other person that they're already backing away fearing for their life
It would actually weigh down on him for a while and will get raging mad whenever he remembers
Rudy
Covering your ears immediately and glaring at the person who said that to you
He motions for someone else to take care of them while he asks if you're okay
Probably doesn't matter if you say yes or no, he focuses on not letting you dwell on those words
You're not those things and never will be, such words shouldn't be said to anyone else
And what do they know? He's shaking his head and sighing, doesn't know what to do with the anger
Phillip Graves
Yeah he allows cursing, hell he curses up a storm himself but this??
This is just unacceptable
This is the lowest form of using language incorrectly, the use of such words is as sickening as rotten food, can't imagine how much worse you would feel when it's said to your face
He's made sure to instill manners in his Shadows and he'll even send one home no matter how useful or great their skills are, but not everyone has had that great education and will freely no- carelessly use their speech for worse
Getting ready to drop a bomb on them or plan a quiet murder
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seriousbrat · 7 hours ago
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Why do people like Lily? From what we've seen of her in the books she seems like a charming and good hearted person but also someone who is shallow, judgemental, a social climber, a classist and immature. Why do people make her out to be this feminist, kind hearted role model that is always morally above others and everyone likes her because she is oh so kind and great? It makes me cringe. From the text we can see that she had a black and white thinking, was shallow and probably self righeous, always thinking she's right and not being able to see the perspective of others. (We can see this in her interactions with Snape) So why do people love her? Do people really need a 'girl boss' in every fandom? There always seems to be one that's just made up by the fans. It looks like people just need a character they can point at and say "see we care about female characters, this one is oh so great, she can't do no wrong, worship her please." 🙄
Look, no offence, but... what? 'Shallow, classist, judgmental, social climber' what? Where are you getting this? Because she stopped being friends with a boy who literally called her a slur? Because she criticised that boy for defending and befriending people who were bigoted against people like herself? Like sorry but I think I'm entirely the wrong person to come to with this kind of thing. I fully disagree. I could not disagree more.
Black and white thinking? The opposite. Lily remained friends with someone who espoused the exact opposite of her beliefs for way too long. Not just her beliefs, but her right to exist. She tolerated Snape (and I do love him as a character, but still) way more than she should have, objectively speaking. That's the opposite of black and white. She was way too understanding, way too empathetic with him. She didn't judge Snape hard enough, in my opinion.
Nah, look idk what you were hoping with this ask but I'm sorry, I'm generally a staunch Lily defender and I heavily disagree with what you're saying. It's not that I think she's a perfect person, she certainly has her flaws like anyone. I don't think that she should be idealised, I think she should be given complexity like any character, but neither do I think she's classist (esp since she's meant to be working class) nor particularly judgmental nor shallow nor immature. I love Snape but he was terrible to her. He befriended people who wanted her dead. Lily didn't owe him anything, and her """righteousness""" as you say is not only entirely justified, but objectively speaking she should have dropped that bitch way earlier.
Why do people (including myself) love Lily? Because she was a good person. Because she was brave and decent and kind. She remained friends with Sev for years despite peer pressure and common sense and she defended him without hesitation. She dedicated her life to fighting for what was right. Lily is a good person. She's not inherently, morally above others, she's not perfect but she was a good, kind person, the way her son is a good, kind person.
Not that difficult to understand imo, unless you have way higher standards for male characters than female characters. Not everyone has to like or be interested in Lily but pretending she's somehow worse/less worthy of interest than Snape, James, Sirius, Regulus, etc (and I imagine you've got to be a fan of some of these marauders era characters if you're reading my blog) because she dropped a guy who wanted to join a fascist group that wanted her dead is absolutely ridiculous.
Lily is so kind and great. Her act of bravery and sacrifice is what kickstarts the entire HP series. Sorry. Like absolutely not, I completely disagree with you about Lily's character. People liking a female character doesn't mean that they have a shallow 'girl boss' approach to that character, and I find that a condescending explanation for why people like myself might be fans of Lily Evans. Maybe, and you perhaps should consider this, us fans of Lily just enjoy and are interested in female characters the exact same way we might be interested in male ones.
Look I don't want to be mean, but can't you tell from my icon, which is clearly supposed to be Lily, that I love Lily? Lily is one of my favourite HP characters. I really don't want to be rude but I'm absolutely the last person who'd share this viewpoint.
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nunununuy · 2 days ago
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Part 9
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Part 8 Part 10
Prince x Fem Reader
Tittle: Changing the Fate of the Third Prince
You sat by the window in your family’s estate, the vast fields of green stretching far into the horizon. The soft golden light of the setting sun bathed the land in a peaceful glow, but inside, your heart felt anything but calm. It had been a few days since you’d returned home, leaving behind the bustling capital and the memories of him.
Rafael.
Even the sound of his name in your thoughts sent a pang of pain through your chest. You told yourself this was for the best—that you couldn’t keep hoping for something you knew would never be yours. He was a prince, destined for greatness, while you were just a marquis’ daughter. In your mind, the image of him with Princess Seraphina haunted you, her laughter and beauty fitting perfectly into his world.
You shook your head, forcing yourself to stop thinking about it. It had been days, and you still couldn’t get him out of your mind. “This is pathetic,” you muttered to yourself, gripping the edge of the windowsill. “He’s not thinking about me. He never was.”
To distract yourself, you threw yourself into anything that could keep your mind occupied. Your family’s estate was vast, and there was no shortage of work to be done.
In the mornings, you helped the house staff with chores, surprising them with your willingness to get your hands dirty. You told yourself that hard work would leave no room for thoughts of Rafael. When midday came, you spent hours in the fields, walking among the blooming flowers, the scents of lavender and wild roses calming your troubled heart.
But no matter how busy you kept yourself, the quiet nights were the hardest. When the world was still, your mind wandered back to him—his rare smiles, the way his sharp eyes softened when they looked at you, the warmth of his presence. Those memories clung to you like a shadow you couldn’t shake.
One evening, as you sat at the small desk in your room, you finally made a decision. You would not let your life revolve around someone who didn’t choose you. You had dreams and ambitions of your own, didn’t you? It was time to pursue them.
The next morning, you rose early, your resolve firm. You spoke to your father, expressing your desire to travel and expand your horizons. “I’ve spent too much time tied to the capital, Father,” you said, trying to sound confident. “I want to visit the southern provinces. Maybe help with the new trade routes. I want to see the world beyond the palace walls.”
Your father looked at you with a mix of surprise and concern. “Are you sure about this? The capital has always been your home.”
You nodded. “I’m sure. It’s time I build something for myself.”
And so, preparations began for your journey. You focused on the excitement of the unknown, convincing yourself that distance was the cure for your aching heart.
But even as you packed your belongings, folding dresses and tucking away keepsakes, a small part of you wondered: would he notice you were gone? Would he miss you?
You shook the thought away. It didn’t matter. This was your chance to move on, to reclaim your life. You were determined to leave Rafael and all the pain behind.
What you didn’t know was that miles away, in the capital, Rafael’s plans to bring you back were already in motion. His knights were ready. He would stop at nothing to have you by his side again. And no matter how far you ran, Rafael would find you. You were his.
---
The continent of Aurelis, where you resided, was vast and diverse, divided into four main regions: Eryndor, the northern region known for its snowy peaks and military might; Zantheria, the fertile heartland rich in trade and culture where the capital resided; Selvaris, the warm, coastal provinces to the south known for their bustling ports and exotic spices; and Draelan, the eastern desert expanse ruled by nomadic tribes. Each region had its own unique charm and resources, creating a delicate balance of power and economy across the land.
You had always lived in Zantheria, surrounded by the endless plains and noble politics of the heartland. However, your family’s business was expanding rapidly. The Marquisate of Linford, known for its luxury goods—fine silks, handcrafted jewelry, and rare spices—was opening new trade routes to Selvaris. The southern provinces held untapped opportunities, with booming markets and lucrative connections to overseas territories.
This was your chance to carve a new path for yourself. While you were officially traveling to oversee the opening of new trade outposts for your family, deep down, you knew it was more than that. It was an escape. An opportunity to leave behind the lingering ache of unspoken love and memories of the capital.
Your journey to Selvaris began just days after you decided to leave. The carriage was packed with essential supplies, led by a small retinue of guards hired by your family for protection. Though you tried to focus on the excitement of the unknown, your thoughts often drifted back to the capital—to the man you had left behind.
---
Meanwhile, back in the capital, Prince Raphael was consumed by a mix of emotions—anger, longing, and determination. The realization that you had left without a word still burned deep within him. The ball, which was supposed to mark the pinnacle of his success and his declaration of love for you, had instead left him hollow.
In the days following your departure, Raphael worked tirelessly. He coordinated with his knights, secured the emperor’s approval for his marriage proposal, and ensured that his mission to retrieve you would succeed. No one—not even you—would deny him what was rightfully his.
He spent hours studying maps of Aurelis, planning the fastest route to your family's estate. Through reports from his informants, he learned that you were heading south to Selvaris. This complicated his plans, as the journey to Selvaris was fraught with danger—bandits, treacherous terrain, and political unrest were common in the southern provinces. Yet, none of this deterred him.
Raphael's mind raced with memories of you: your gentle smile, your unwavering support during his struggles, and the way your presence soothed the storm within him. He clenched his fists, his resolve hardening. You had no right to leave him, to make decisions that excluded him from your life. He would remind you of your place—by his side, always.
---
As you crossed the borders into Selvaris, the scenery transformed. The rolling plains gave way to lush green hills, dotted with olive trees and vineyards. The warm breeze carried the scent of salt from the sea, a stark contrast to the cool, crisp air of Zantheria. The bustling port cities, with their vibrant markets and colorful stalls, brought a sense of excitement you hadn’t felt in weeks.
The new trade outpost you were overseeing was located in the heart of Vallora, a prosperous city that served as a hub for merchants and travelers alike. Your arrival was met with enthusiasm by your family’s representatives, who eagerly showed you the progress they had made.
Throwing yourself into work, you focused on expanding your family’s business. Days were spent meeting local merchants, negotiating deals, and ensuring the outpost ran smoothly. At night, you explored the city, marveling at its vibrant culture and lively streets. Slowly, you began to feel a sense of freedom—a life unshackled by the expectations of the capital.
Yet, no matter how hard you tried to move forward, the thought of Raphael lingered. Was he angry with you? Had he moved on? Did he even care that you had left?
---
Raphael, on the other hand, had never been more determined. Accompanied by a group of elite knights and a carriage bearing his family’s crest, he set out for Selvaris. The journey was long and grueling, but his desire to bring you back drove him forward.
As his entourage approached Vallora, the prince couldn’t help but smirk. The bustling city was alive with activity, yet all he could think about was how he would find you—and how you would finally understand that leaving him had been a mistake.
Soon, Raphael would reclaim what was his. And this time, he wouldn’t let you escape so easily.
___
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cantareincminor · 2 days ago
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Fandom Wrapped (Reader Edition) 2024!
Thanks to the wonderful @kattyelf for creating this template! Links and detailed reviews under the cut.
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Disclaimer: I probably read hundreds of SxF fics in the past year, and it was not easy to choose which ones to put in the list above (or below)! This fandom is full of wonderful, friendly creators and I am so glad to be part of it. I also had to narrow it down to only the ones I read and reread in 2024, not 2022 or 2023. Finally...I also happened to read many good fics only once. Sometimes a fic is just too painful or sad to reread, especially if it's not finished.
Favorite fic and author: After peace by @unhappy-sometimes!
I could gush about unso for a whole post and not be done, but I will try to contain myself. Her fic After peace originated from an AU comic she drew where Twilight was forced to retire early due a major injury, and drifted aimlessly until WISE asked him to take care of an orphan they had rescued from Project Apple. There are several things that amazed me about this fic and cemented it in first place for 2024:
The premise. It was original and so full of potential.
How personal Twilight's journey felt to me. I didn't have a life-threatening injury, but I did put my career on hiatus in the past year and have often struggled with questions of -- what am I worth when I'm not "doing" anything? I was so used to going 150% in the rat race and coming out on top at great personal cost to health and family; even if all that was bad, how else can I get that sense of accomplishment? How can I stop wanting that sense of accomplishment?
Her style, which is both vivid AND concise. The fic was around 22K words if I remember correctly, with a well-constructed plot, character arcs, plenty of emotional beats, and a satisfying resolution. I often wonder if my writing is too verbose and when I see something like After peace, it challenges me to do better.
THIS WAS UNSO'S FIRST FIC EVER. THE HELL. It's like a freshman album that gets put up for a Grammy.
Fic(s) I reread (plus runners-up):
That Time Yor Seriously Thought About Leaving by peonydee: This is a WIP with one more chapter before completion, I believe. Peonydee's style is unique in how it's hard-hitting and disarming at the same time. Yor and Twilight find themselves in impossible situations, their relationship tested to the limit (and one of them in a close brush with death), yet there's still an undercurrent of wry humor, almost fatalistic due to the fact both of them have been steeped in death and dirty work for decades, yet still hopeful and reaching for each other. I also cackle every time she makes Twilight go off on a mansplaining tangent without ever using the term outright. A masterpiece of show not tell.
Is It Really All Right? by zyzy1083: This one is tender. A jealous!Loid fic with a fascinating portrayal of Loid from Yor's perspective. The imagery of a dark sea choking down any true thought or emotion from breaking for air will stay with me for a long time. There's also the fact she basically made up lyrics for an indie song as part of the plot and I had to ask whether it was a real song. Finally, there's the fact she was bold enough to portray Loid as less than a perfect, kind, smiley husband toward Yor, but in a believable way. He snaps at Yor at times. He loses his patience. It feels like a real relationship, in the awkward tension when one partner wants to talk and the other absolutely does not want to talk. I admire that courage and wish more authors would take that risk (calling myself out I guess!).
Green-eyed Monster by bigbruja: another jealous!Loid fic that's lighthearted and fun. This is a comfort reread. I enjoy seeing Loid recognize the threat of a supposed "old friend" of Yor's, questioning his own feelings and how far he needs to go to fend this guy off. The guy is a Garden assassin, unbeknownst to him. I also love Yor's own inner struggle of just wanting everyone to get along, but showing steel when she needs to.
dalliance by rosetintednerdglasses: this is a WIP, but it is HILARIOUS and I hope everyone will go encourage this author to pick this fic back up when they have a chance. TLDR, Twilight (in disguise) is sent on a joint mission with Thorn Princess and flips out internally when he sees it's Yor. Handler then orders him to ensure Thorn Princess continues to cooperate. So as Twilight, he has to sort-of honey trap Thorn Princess, while as Loid he has to keep Yor happy. Poor Yor believes she's torn between two different men and close to cheating on Loid! Situational hilarity all over the place, and fun world-building, like this other WISE agent randomly named "Steel Bunny" (LOL).
Not According to Plan by @kyrathel: love you girl! This is a gift fic for me, but that's not the reason I reread it (even though it's a WIP as well!). It's SO FUNNY. Twilight gets it in his overly anxious head that he MUST defend his wife from the bullies at City Hall, so what does he do? HE INFILTRATES CITY HALL AS A NEW FEMALE HIRE. The world absolutely needs more petty!Twilight! The latest chapter features laxative brownies. Enough said.
Let's start living dangerously by @beannoss: I specifically reread the later parts when dumb Twilight gets over his dumbness and finally talks to Yor! And they kiss again! I love the way huhwaku (beannoss) portrays overthinking Twilight AND overthinking Yor. And also, the simplicity of Yor at the same time. The voice she uses for both of them is refreshing, it really puts you in the mindset of the character. Yor's giggles ("teehee!") as she teases Twilight about his little perfectionist habits are a cute touch to a gentle, heartwarming fic about these two highly competent professionals just starting to take baby steps in how to be competent at a relationship.
Fic that made me emotional:
100% Perfect by @sometimesiship. Where do I begin? How about with the gut aversion I initially had to the premise of a futuristic AI dating bot AU, due to all the tragic, dark AI movies I have watched? But as it neared completion, someone convinced me to give it a try and I AM SO GLAD I DID. You can see my gushing comments in almost every chapter. The development of the relationship between human Yor and AI Loid is so natural, funny at times, poignant always, and beautifully written, even though from an objective standpoint not much exciting stuff happens (I mean canon-typical excitement like murders and spy missions). Sometimesiship has a way of describing emotion that is so raw -- she can portray the same emotion a dozen different ways with analogies and setups and dialogue and whatever -- and it still doesn't feel old. And the emotion that dominated the second half of the story was grief. Basically the grief of loving someone you know you're going to lose. Like being the spouse of a terminal cancer patient. I didn't cry while reading, but it was a closer call than I have had in a VERY long time. So much beauty and humanity in this story. And spoiler (?), it's a happy ending. So I hope you all go check it out!
That's a wrap! If you read this far, stay tuned for a Writer version of Fandom Wrapped 2024!
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vladdyissues · 3 days ago
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so making myself actually outline the clone gestation au cause i just sidelined another draft but I'm still wanting immediate gratification for cheese melt ideas so i sat down and self-soothee with some ideas for an AU where Dani and Dan are born due to Pompep. if you ain't feeling it right now, totally fine with this getting buried until you do, just want to share the cheesy wealth (and this fully formed in my head before the college trio + Dan and Dani offspring ideas did)
hope you like soft because i am c o p i n g rn
-so for these two resulting specifically from Pompep, Danny is a fresh adult and high school graduate in the late 2000s, where he gets to live out a certain fantasy of mine--getting to go "fuck it, can't charge me rent on a lair" and planning to go ghost primarily with his human side being his alter ego
-Vlad starts insisting if he's going to do that, he could just move into his mansion. like, increasingly more insistent. what is going on here
-turns out, Vlad is pregnant, and is fully and shamelessly exploiting Danny's need to protect. blatantly, too. Danny knows full fucking well he's being played but the Obsession will not shut up for love nor money
-mood swings make things go full poltergeist the more Vlad is aggravated or backed into a corner. walls bleeding, windows rattling, one particularly aggravated mood swing has Jack nearly get the Death Bed: The Bed That Eats treatment from an armchair (he wouldn't have died but he would have soaked in ectoplasm until his eyebrows burned off)
-this shit, Danny can deal with. this is the kinda weird he's used to. then Vlad starts showing and he starts getting... a little softer. and Danny, snarky frenemies-with-benefits more than dearly beloved partner, has no idea what to do to pivot with that
-Vlad is in denial. he does not have pretty pink magic love powers making him feel adorable wholesome things towards the baby or deep affection for Danny, who fathered it. one of those being true is a quirk. all three of those things being true clashes so hard with his supervillain-coded aesthetic makes him refuse to even think about it. so he bottles it up
-the second he gets to hold Dani after she's born he starts crying. full on ugly cry. one of the things he wasn't processing was that this was real in a way that specifically meant he was going to be holding his baby. a real, actual baby he can pour all his obsessive levels of love into and who he's going to be able to love for his entire existence
-no, fuck it, he does have pretty pink magic love powers, and if you get near his baby you get to learn what a curbstomp is
-teeny tiny baby Danielle Masters
-has first shaky flight as well as first steps, because I am a hopeless weeb and the scene in Urusei Yatsura where a baby alien is encouraged to fly into a cousin's arms like one would encourage a baby walking is just forever seared into my brain
-Danny and Vlad become used to casually grabbing her out of the air or flying to grab her. no big deal. just a floating baby. don't want her phasing into the crawlspace or walls and getting confused and lost. it always makes her giggle
-right around when the excuses for Danny's supposed human life are wearing thin, Dan breaks loose, AU AGIT happens--but Vlad's not making clones this time around so there's no ready-made body to move Dan into
-and since they can't get one ready to go... well, homemade will have to do
-(note: rather than de-aging, it's more reincarnation--it's him and has his memories and ghost self and all that good stuff, he's just not grown and stuck in the body of a baby or overwriting a totally new person. the older he gets, the more original Dan he's able to process as him and not the edgy OC lurking in the back of his mind that feels fully-formed)
-so, Vlad and Danny are expecting kid #2 with gremlin toddler Dani running around
-this time around Vlad's mood swings affect the power grid. one very bad one ends up making a power line go carnivorous and start snatching birds out of the air
-they're prepared for softness this time, and this time Vlad just lets himself feel such things. though it does manifest in jello cravings from hell... and in actually admitting he is in LOVE with Daniel, not just attracted and attached
-somewhere in there Danny's parents realize they've been lied to. for years. mainly coming to a head because supposedly, he should be nearing the end of a four-year degree. they need an explanation
-the half-ghost reveal takes a few weeks to comb through. still, it goes... relatively well.
-so. time for relationship reveal. right?
-turns out running off to shack up in their college buddy's mansion raising kids instead of pursuing higher education hits several more of their buttons than just being the town hero who happens to be a ghost does
-and making a SINGLE aggressive move towards Vlad? Danny's shifted from protection to unity and hey, he will be keeping his family together. no matter what. go on. try something :)))
-they don't come around to it before Dan is reborn but that's fine, making sure baby Dan is loved is more important anyway
-(Dani totally brings them around over time. she keeps sneaking into their lab to watch them work and hand Jack or Maddie tools before dipping back into the portal giggling when they notice her)
BONUSES
-Dani is an adorable big sister and will drag baby Dan everywhere with her given half a chance
-when they get older, the short jokes will fly. mainly from Dani herself. Danny and Dani's favorite in-joke is Dani trying to reach something with powers and sarcastically thanking Danny for the height genes
-Dan ends up being an adorable kid who really likes just. soaking up the loving atmosphere. threaten his good time at your peril, first time he transforms he's a force of nature
-of course Vlad and Danny incorporate their family into their snark
"Being the father of my children won't save you from my vengeance, Daniel."
"Both your kids share DNA with my dad, it's not going to kill you to share a dinner table with him."
"No, but if you ever remind him he is my father-in-law, it will kill you."
"Eh, he already got me killed once, I'll roll those dice."
apologies for the sheer WALL of text, just. i have a particular vision of the AU i'm writing and this version ain't compatible, but it IS soft and i am weak for that
ONCE AGAIN
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daemour · 11 hours ago
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Kadō [l.sm] 1/2
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➵Title: Kadō ➵Pairings: Demeter! Dokyeom x Florist! Reader ➵Greek God: Demeter ➵Genre: Fluff, very light angst ➵Rating/Warnings: T for Teen, No Warnings ➵Word Count: 1333 ➵Summary: When the most notorious divorce lawyer in the city becomes a regular at your little flower shop, you're pretty sure it's a bad omen, for both your love life and your store. But with each passing moment, it looks like your flowers are doing better than ever…and perhaps your heart beats just a bit faster seeing Lee Seokmin.
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This was a collab [The 13 Gods of Olympus] hosted by @beomcoups and @wooahaeproductions <3 it may or may not have been a little close to cutting it at the deadline but I digress KJGSHDKJGHKJG
this is my first true svt piece and I'm honestly kinda proud although I wasn't able to put everything I wanted into it ^^ I hope u all enjoy anyway!
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It’s the third time he has shown up in your flower shop. Lee Seokmin, the divorce lawyer in town. He’s never lost a custody case, or whatever it is he does. He’s both hated, and loved, by the population.
And he won’t stop coming into your flower shop.
At first, you paid it no mind. Perhaps it was his mother’s birthday. Maybe for a client going through a particularly tough battle. But he never bought anything. Just browsed quietly.
You wouldn’t say you were particularly superstitious, but that has to be bad luck, right? You check your watch. Five minutes before closing. He’s never come in this late before…and this means you have to politely tell him to get out.
“Ah, excuse me?” you call out, voice timid. Silence. He didn’t hear you. “Mr Lee?”
 Okay, now you can’t tell if he’s just ignoring you. You walk up next to him, hands hovering in the air awkwardly as you decide whether to tap his shoulder or not. “Excuse me?” you try again, and he finally snaps his attention to you, a bright smile on his face. He doesn’t look quite as cold as he does in all the news articles.
“Oh, apologies. I didn’t quite hear you. You must be the owner of this store.” He nods his head in acknowledgement.
You offer a small smile, lowering your hands. “I am. I just wanted to let you know that we’re closing in five minutes so…” you trail off, trying not to be rude. “I’m not trying to kick you out! Just wanted to let you know,” you repeat.
Mr Lee smiles even wider, reaching out to offer his hand. “Of course, I understand. I’ll be coming around more often, so I should introduce myself though. I’m Lee Seokmin, and you?”
Reaching out to shake his hand, you can’t help but take note of how warm it is. “LN YN. Nice to meet you properly, Mr Lee.” He shakes his head, eyes crinkling. “None of that. You can call me Seokmin. It’s nice to not be called so formally out of the court…I work in law.”
“I know,” you respond automatically before realising how that sounds. “Ah! Not that I stalk you or anything. I just…pay attention to the news and you tend to make headlines.”
Seokmin chuckles. “I understand. It’s hard to not know everyone in a smaller town, even if you never actually meet them. But there’s something about your flower shop….it’s very comforting. I like coming here after work, so I think you’ll probably be seeing more of me.”
I smile shyly. “I’ll have to look forward to that, Mr…Seokmin.”
Seokmin doesn’t know what’s gotten into him. He can’t stop going to that little flower shop on the corner, loving how the owner’s eyes brighten as she sees him. He hasn’t taken notice of a human in centuries…no, millennia.
He’s kept his focus on his human career, wading through papers upon papers of messy moral relationships that remind him a little too much of Persephone. But you're like a breath of fresh air.
As time went on, mortals changed. The amount of flora and fauna decreased, but your shop felt like the Gaia he remembers.
He finds himself in there more and more these days. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees you humming to yourself as you arrange bouquets, and it’s on the days when you’re preparing wedding flowers and humming love songs that he lets his power leak out from the tips of his fingers and toes, and the flowers bloom just a bit brighter, for just a little longer.
It’s hard to keep his feelings subtle, not when you look at him with such gentleness in your eyes and always give him a flower before he leaves. He keeps them all in an unending state of bloom in his bathroom, and Persephone always teases him when she sees them. But he can’t keep himself away, allowing himself one other pleasure in his dreadfully boring life.
All he does is deal with case after case of depressing marriages, his heart breaking every moment he stays in the court. But your shop has given him a breath of fresh air, and he can feel life return to him when he sees your bright aura. His kin cannot fault him for that, and if they try, then he’ll just have to strip humans of their springs and summers again.
Glancing at the clock perched on your desk makes your heart race a little faster. You look forward to every visit Seokmin pays you, every shift feeling like a countdown. Right on cue, the bell rings and Seokmin walks into the store, breathing deeply as he takes in the flora. “Hello, YN,” he greets you warmly, voice softer than usual. “How was your day?”
Your eyes crinkle as you smile back, offering him a small nod. “Same as always. Not very busy today, which was nice for me to sit back and relax. How was the office?”
Seokmin shrugs, his eyes unfocusing as he remembers his long day. “It was…eventful. I had a case today and it didn’t go well. I can’t really go into detail.” He sighs through his nose, loosening his tie. Your eyes follow the movement as a pout pulls at your lips.
“Well, that’s not good,” I hum, cocking my head slightly. “Would you like a cup of tea?”
It’s not usually how his visits go, and you’re surprised at yourself for going off-script, but the stress in his eyes makes you want to help. And tea is the only way you can think of.
His gaze softens as he looks at you, some of the tension in his eyes melting away. “I’d love that, YN. Thank you.”
To hide your warm cheeks, you turn around quickly to head into your breakroom. “I hope you like chamomile, Seokmin. It’s the only kind I have left.” Seokmin nods happily, and you turn to raise an eyebrow. “Well, aren’t you coming?”
It takes him a moment, but as soon as it clicks, Seokmin scrambles after you, a wide smile on his face. The break room is small, but cozy, with plants lining the shelves and homemade mugs sitting in a line on the counter. You quickly put some water in the kettle, letting it do its work as you offer Seokmin a seat. “Sorry it’s not much,” you sigh, looking around. “I haven’t cleaned back here i a bit since it’s usually only me.”
Seokmin shakes his head, sitting on the stool offered to him with a quick flick of his coat. “No worries at all, YN. It’s very lovely here, very relaxing.” His stiff stance betrays him, and you can’t help but chuckle.
“I can see that, with your ramrod-straight back,” you tease, and Seokmin quickly adjusts his posture. “Don’t worry, I won’t bite, and the plants don’t either.”
At your little joke, Seokmin finally lets his body ease as he lets out a loud laugh. “That’s good. I’m not sure what I’ll do if it turns out your plants are maneaters.” He leans forward on the table. “Now, as you’re treating me to a nice cup of tea, I must ask…how would you like to grab dessert with me sometime?” His voice grows soft towards the end. He can’t remember the last time he was this nervous, not even when his daughter leaves for six months and the world turns cold and grey.
You stop your steps midway to the kettle, looking back at him with wide eyes. You don’t want to read too much into it, but the softness in Seokmin’s eyes tells you your hopes aren’t unfounded. “I…I think I’d like that, Seokmin.”
At your words, Seokmin can’t help the bright smile from growing on his face, and the plants in the other room bloom so bright as a warmth fills his heart. Perhaps there is some good with the mortals after all.
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1dmonthlyficroundup · 21 hours ago
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— 1D Monthly Fic Roundup —
Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for November 2024! Below you’ll find 1D fics that were all published this month. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​. You can find all our other posts here.
Happy reading!
* Lost and Found by @signofcomfort [T, 33k, Louis/Harry]
Harry, the misfit wolf in the pack, always longed for affection but was too drowned in his own loneliness.
The pack alpha Louis Tomlinson shapes the future of his pack to be more accepting and welcoming, but would Harry ever return?
* No More Days Alone by @signofcomfort [M, 6k, Louis/Isaac Anderson]
Isaac finds himself lost amidst the tour but Louis is always there to find him.
* I want yesterdays love by edensrose / @holdingthornsandroses [M, 4k, Louis/Dev Patel]
“We’re going on holiday before the term starts again,” Oli announces in their kitchen the day after the art opening.
Louis looks up from his cereal bowl.
“Who is we?”
“I’ve rented us a cottage near the beach. Me, you, Calvin, Rick, and Dev.”
Louis makes a noncommittal noise but can’t deny his heartbeat racing at the mention of Dev.
* i tell myself i'm done with wicked games by haveufoundwhaturlookingfor / @sup3rbloom [T, 5k, Louis/Michael Clifford]
Omegaverse: Alpha Louis has never questioned who he is, a strong, loving Alpha who defies stereotypes. When he meets Michael, a beta, he certainly doesn't expect to fall for him (and hard).
* To start again by @loretheloner [E, 27k, Louis/Michael Blackwell]
Louis finds himself slowly falling for a bandmate again, despite Oli's warnings against it. Michael finds himself slowly falling for his boss and fighting against the ghost of Louis' past relationship. They find a way to start again.
Or a canon compliant story that follows Michael and Louis from the summer of 2019 to June of 2024. Written for prompt SS of the Louis Rare Pair Fest 2024.
* I've drowned and dreamt this moment by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed [T, 2k, Zayn/Louis]
There has been a rivalry between them since they were young. Since the very start of their careers. It’s always been Louis and Zayn, the ones to watch. The ones to do battle and ultimately share the podium.
They push each other to be better, is what the world says.
They hate each other, is what Zayn and Louis say.
And it all comes to a head in Val d’Argenton.
* Countdown by @allwaswell16 [M, 2k, Louis/Thomas Shelby]
Tommy Shelby, pack alpha of the Peaky Blinders, has taken notice of The Garrison Pub’s new barmaid, an omega named Louis. A prequel to One Part 2 of One
* if we were butterflies by @blueskiesrry [E, 52k, Harry/Louis]
“Is this how I used to look at you?” His hand hovers just over the collarbone of the sculpture, like he’s caught between wanting to touch and wanting to pull away, wanting to leave and wanting to stay.
Eyes stuck on Harry, unaware of anything else in the room, Louis whispers, “Something like that,” wondering now if he ever quite did it justice.
or: after recruiting harry to model for his sculptures and coming to know all his edges, louis loses him to a life more prosperous than he can provide. he finds harry again four years later.
* Whole Lot of History by Blue_Green28 / @bluegreen28fics [E, 73k, Louis/Harry]
Louis and Harry have a whole lot of history. With 3 children coming out of their twelve years long marriage they are essential parts of each other's lives even though they have moved on with new partners since their divorce ten years ago. Or have they?
What happens when Harry finally gets some money to open the coffee shop he had always dreamed of and they spend more time together to plan everything? Does their love still have a chance?
* Flying Over on My Own Tonight by @haztobegood [E, 1k, Louis/Jack Cochrane]
Louis is on his way to Monterrey, Mexico, where he'll headline Tecate P’al Norte music festival for the first time. A text from Jack makes the flight a bit more interesting.
* Sisterhood by @haztobegood [M, 2k, OT5]
Liam was thankful to have found sisters like Harry, Louis, Niall, and Zayn after running away from her parents. They opened their door and their hearts, their once-abandoned farmhouse becoming a safe, comforting home. Then one night, an unexpected visitor arrived, revealing the dark secrets of her new family.
* The Kiss of Sleep by @haztobegood [NR, 666 words, Louis/Harry]
Louis shook his head. “I’m proper knackered.” Too many nights on the road with the noise of the tyres rolling beneath them kicked Louis’ insomnia into high gear. He’d only been able to nip off for naps between soundcheck and their shows so he’d have enough energy to perform properly. But just barely. Now, with two days off and a plush king size bed calling his name for the first time in weeks, Louis needed to catch up on sleep.
* Love's A State Of Mind by @enchantedlandcoffee [T, 3k, Harry/Louis]
“Your omega?” Louis asked softly, trying his best to keep his voice steady. “Hmmm.” Harry smushed his face in Louis’ shirt, his hand moving up to mess with one of the buttons. “He’s great, my omega. He’s kind and passionate and funny, even when he makes jokes about me.” “He- He sounds great, button.” “He is. You are.” What?!
OR Childhood friends, Harry and Louis, have been inseparable ever since they met. However, presenting as an alpha and omega drove a wedge in their relationship. One night, after Harry drunkenly confesses one too many things, Louis snaps. He realises that, despite loving his best friend so much, he needs to move on before their love tears them apart. He just needs to get the stubborn alpha on his side. Part 1 of Flower & Button
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thank you for the understanding. i apologise if i appear as a “burden” (for this community, for whatever reason it may be) but if this is a civilised discussion then i need to get this off my chest
obviously i went on a streak of attempting to revile a lot of different pages/accounts on here. i assume some people noticed (i have dozens of asks since yesterday). it’s not the first time, i did it once over a month ago; albeit not as thoroughly as right now.
i have been met with a fair amount of genuine concern and empathy since, and at this point i feel bad for it again. it was only because i reached a point where i thought i would be better off with burning bridges with my own account as so i wouldn’t be welcomed here/whatever else. i’m tired of attempting to move on and failing because i just can’t seem to
but anyway. sorry for ranting (although this may be a rant) i think this is more relevant
i have a brief idea of my own position on this kind of thing, so i’m going to explain as simple as i can. i want to be an animal. probably my entire life it’s been something that i’ve “had” even if i didn’t realise that until recently. it was probably the one constant that shaped me as an individual when i was a little younger. it’s only ~RECENTLY that it’s progressively became a lot stronger as a desire. it’s put me in a situation where i have a lot of strong emotions about a lot of things
so i don’t TRY to be hateful to this community but it becomes overpowering sometimes and i can’t help it, even if i should.
there’s a notion that i come across often, that i’m “repressed”, or “in denial” or anything along those lines. i’ve had it been said to me by people that are probably genuinely important within this community/people that i happen to “look up to” as furries. it feeds into my own disdain for these spaces. let me explain. i don’t think i’m in denial, i don’t feel like it. i genuinely WISH i was in denial. the idea that i’m “denying myself” implies that i “am” a fox or whatever else. yet it only angers me because i would be better off i was in denial with myself. i don’t think i am.
it could come off as “not wanting to be those things”. but i likely say a lot of stuff that could be interpreted strangely. it is in my own nature to want to be an animal, so i would TAKE anything to get me closer to that, no matter how small (that doesn’t mean i would settle on it). I FIND IT HARD to accept this community as things are simply, because the idea that one can “be an animal” and i’m human feels like a punch to the gut. i was afraid of ever typing that out because i’m afraid it sounds immature, but it doesn’t come from a place of immaturity any more than anything else.
because when you start describing “nonhuman/s/etc. as “literally animals” then for me, the thought of wanting to be an animal comes into play. i yearn to be a PHYSICAL animal yet i would give almost just as much to be closer to it in any other regard. it’s only the stigma that i’ve built around “nonhumanity” that stray me from “wanting” to be it. (alongside just; not being one anyway.)
being told to accept myself hurts, because it implies that there is something to accept; or a prospect of getting closer to the concept of being something else. yet i can’t FIND it. i would jump at the first glimpse of that opportunity, as i have been trying to, but i can’t understand it.
i was called a fox in one of the asks, and (i’m sorry to get vulnerable, not as if i haven’t already) a tear literally ran down my face. i’m hardly an emotional person like that. i said not to call me anything like that, and i’m pretty sure they sent another apologising “i’m sorry for assuming what to call you” and i’m not going to lie. reading that felt like having my own guts emptied out. the point is, it’s my fault
ANYWAY. that was a lot of words. i’m sorry for dumping all of this onto here. but i hope that made it clear what i mean/am saying. once again, i don’t think i necessarily deserve forgiveness of any kind despite this. sorry. i hope i didn’t misinterpret anything, thank you for giving me a chance to discuss this and i hope this was coherent.
i don’t think my words hold much value to people like you, and i don’t think you would be willing to listen or take it to heart, but it’s still worth trying. i would like you to realise that you are human in every way. you are not an animal, you are not a dragon. (you probably already know this. maybe you’re in denial. i don’t know) either way, none of you would actually be willing to give it even a second of thought because you’re insecure about yourself, and you’re insecure because you know you’re human. i assure you that you will not reach full personal contentment until you live out your life without pretending to be a mythical creature. wtv have a good day
Ooh, I haven’t gotten one of these asks in a few years.
So I ask this, and every other question I will follow up with, completely genuinely, and if you’re willing to really get into the weeds discussing it I’d love to do so (though I’ll probably reblog any follow-ups to my other blog): why do you think you know me and my experiences better than I do?
Why do you think you can armchair diagnose me with insecurity? What evidence do you actually have for that, besides the fact that I’m nonhuman? What evidence do you have that I’m not already content and fulfilled in my life?
Is it possible that identifying as nonhuman is unrelated to those things entirely, and you’re making a false assumption?
I get it. It looks crazy, when you’re completely new to the concept. It’s weird - it is! But pause and listen to us when we talk about our experiences for a moment.
For many of us, myself included, finding nonhumanity is a moment of suddenly understanding - of pieces falling into place, of my life experiences suddenly making sense. Awakening is something that made me more content and fulfilled, not less - there’s a sadness in it sometimes, yes, but so too is there the comfort of understanding yourself in a new way, of realizing, oh. I’m not just weird. There’s not something wrong with me. There are other people like me.
(If this sounds a lot like the experience of figuring out you’re queer, there’s a reason for that.)
To use myself as an example of the flaws in your hypothesis: there’s… honestly not much dissatisfaction with my life right now. I’ve got a stable job with decent income. I’d like to be able to cut back my hours a bit, but that will come in time. I’ve got enough free time as it is to do my art and play my tabletop games with friends in my off time. I’ve got family and friends around me. Sure, I miss my wings, but I’m hoping to pick up powered paragliding in the near future and hoping that’ll scratch that itch at least somewhat. I’m doing pretty well, honestly. This isn’t the case for all otherkin, but it’s not the case for all orthohumans (people who aren’t alterhuman in any way) either. What it does indicate, however, is that your hypothesis that being otherkin inherently means you’re insecure and unhappy with your life is false, or at minimum flawed - if it were true, I wouldn’t exist.
So, I ask again: why do you think you understand my own experiences better than I do? And moreover, why does it bother you so much that I am the way I am?
The name for the thing you’re doing here, intentionally or not, is concern trolling - trying to push me out of an identity by professing concern for problems that don’t exist. Why? Why are you going out of your way to tell other people they’re wrong about their own identity? Why is your reaction, when you see an identity you don’t understand, to decide it’s unhealthy, or just make-believe, or whatever, and then to make that the problem of the people who identify that way? What exactly makes you think this is inherently unhealthy?
Would it not be better to devote that energy to trying to understand us, instead of trying to change us?
You don’t have to answer these questions to me, obviously, but I do encourage you to answer them to yourself at least. Pick apart your worldview for a minute and see if it actually holds up under scrutiny - it’s good for you, and mental enrichment to boot! If you are willing to really get into the weeds of this discussion with me, again, I’d love to do that - I love having discussions like this, and it’s good for me to have my worldview challenged every so often too! Please, genuinely, pick at the flaws in my logic if you see them - if it can be pulled apart under scrutiny, it needs to be pulled apart and rebuilt. No one on the internet is obligated to let a stranger do that, obviously, but personally I enjoy it - it’s a meat pumpkin for me - so let’s talk, if you’re up for it. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve gotten a good interesting antikin to debate with.
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 2 months ago
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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deoidesign · 6 months ago
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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finally caved and started reading all for the game. two chapters into the foxhole court and what kind of gay fucking shit is this! also did not know there were sports in here
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azaracyy · 9 months ago
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today, cupimon prays for your happiness too.
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kizzington · 1 month ago
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Not aiming this at anyone specifically, but I’m genuinely so disappointed & annoyed at the fact no one in my real life circles bothered to reach out to me to check up on me regarding the recent Liam Payne/One Direction news.
#ignore if you want I’m just gonna vent a minute#it’s been over 3 days now & almost nothing#They know I was/am a fan of at least 1d or could take a pretty good educated guess if nothing else#& yet not one person who knows me personally bothered to ask if I was alright#And honestly… I’m not#I’m fucking struggling#it’s just so complex n confusing & I’m having a really hard time coming to terms with everything#I get it people are busy and have their own things going#& they probably don’t think it’s a big deal losing Liam as it was just a silly little boyband to them#but to me n to everyone who was there for those years it feels so so strangely personal#like a longtime distant friend has just been ripped away so tragically#& not only the tragic death of a person but the death of your adolescence & all the innocence of that time#the end of an era that had so much joy n significance in your life#& I know it’s probably not easy to tell I’m upset bc I keep my emotions pretty much exclusively to myself (thanks autism)#but honestly it’s just so invalidating and isolating to not have anyone to talk to#I already feel so completely alone in general bc no one ever checks in with me n stuff like this just solidifies that#I just don’t think it would have been so difficult just to drop a quick message to say ‘hope you’re okay’ or ‘thinking of you’ at least#it would have made a difference#& I know this post isn’t gonna matter to anyone but I just had to get my frustrations out somewhere bc it’s weighing on me a lot#anyway if you got to here thanks for your time n I hope you’re doing okay!!#feel free to reach out to me if you ever want/need to ❤️❤️❤️#wow that was a lot#personal#Kirsty talks#my posts#my stuff#1d#Liam Payne#one direction
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lilworms · 26 days ago
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so
#last night was really so so so fun and it was super hard to get myself to go out? like#in the sense of I really wanted to because I knew it would be fun but I also knew my anxiety was eating me alive#and it would be an obstacle getting through that without alcohol and I need to be … careful#but I got fun drunk and didn’t have too bad of a hangover and didn’t feel super anxious once we got out :#and a different friend wants to make plans for tonight but I am really bad at making plans in advance because sometimes I physically can’t#do things after work bc tired bc neuro disorder and it’s frustrating to my friend with severe control issues#bc she needs to make specific plans like a week out and I’m like erm babe I can’t like#do that? and then if I don’t feel well day of and need to be home she gets (rightfully) frustrated because I’m bailing but it’s#challenging. and you don’t understand unless you live with it.#and it’s frustrating for us both. I don’t want her to think I don’t value her because I do and I force myself out often enough bc I#genuinely feel bad. but it’s so fucking hard sometimes . she also lives sort of far so going from work and having#to drive an hour to her place to then go somewhere and be out like#I’m spent before I even get there#friend I saw last night and I don’t talk consistently but when we do it’s always the same vibe and so fun and we just catch up about life#I feel like when I see my other friends they have things to always talk about because they’re in a discord call almost every night#I don’t have the energy!!!!!!!!!! like I’m so sorry that’s so much for me#idk she isn’t answering me now but if she wants to do something I need to know in the next hr bc if not I’m literally going to bed#I love her but there’s a disconnect between us rn and I don’t know how to mend that gap#but I do love her friendship so I’m just like. sigh#idk it would be different if she was closer and I know that#I hope getting back on medication helps get me being more social again. I’m just so tired this week that speaking is hard lol
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james-spooky · 2 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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