#throwing all this up into one post cos I don’t think they’re good enough for their own posts but I want to show them anyways

[bic1bossed]

Erm variety of hnk doodles I did over the span of a few days

[katherinecrighton]

Nuts and Bolts: Some Writing Advice

(Reposting a 2013 post from the Anna Katherine co-tumblr)

A friend of mine awhile back asked the aether for some practical, straightforward writing advice, which I assumed meant nuts and bolts stuff.

This is what I ended up writing to her.

(Caveat emptor: 1. The reason advice looks contradictory is because it literally is different for everyone — shit that works for one person won’t work for someone else. Just stick it in your toolbox and move along. 2. I will say obvious shit that you already know. Because it’s possible somebody else doesn’t. 3. You may totally disagree with anything/everything I say, oh my god, that’s fine.)

1. Use the word “said.” Throw in a “she declaimed” every once in a while if you like, but don’t do it all the time. Feel free to put in no dialogue tags at all, if it’s clear who’s speaking. But “said” is free and generally invisible to the reader (and the goal is to not remind the reader that they’re reading).

2. Writing advice for short fiction and writing advice for novels are and writing advice for one genre versus another are all going to tell you slightly (or wildly) different things. So, you know, watch out for that. I suggest switching mediums entirely, and try reading up on screenplays or three-panel comics.

3. Stick your finished draft into a Kindle or some other robot reader, and have a mechanical voice read the story to you. It’s a step removed, and you��ll hear where it clunks. Make notes as it goes.

4. If you don’t have a robot reader, read it out loud to yourself. Actually out loud. Put check marks wherever you cringe. It’s where the reader will likely cringe too.

5. Start your story at the point of change. It’s more interesting. Backfill with exposition a couple of paragraphs later.

6. Sometimes, if I’m writing a one-off, I pick a motif and stick with it as a lodestone for all my descriptions. It’s a way of creating a sort of subliminal mood and atmosphere for the reader, while at the same time maintaining a nice sense of continuity.

7. The English language likes to hear things in threes. Three bears, three nights, three wishes, and what with one thing and another, three years passed. English also likes iambic pentameter and any other rhyme or rhythm scheme it can get its hands on. Readers want language to both have a pretty meaning (three brothers seek their fortune) and a pretty sound (now is the winter of our discontent). The fastest way to do this, and not have it be totally obvious, is to combine the two. Have three lines of description, three examples of something, three jokes — and do it semi-regularly. It creates a rhythm in your work, like a heartbeat. Study other people’s stories and see if you can find where they’re doing the same or similar things. Count stuff.

8. Then, later, fuck with your readers by breaking the rhythm. Stop the heartbeat. Miss the step. The reader will get nervous and uncomfortable and have no idea why. Makes for good tension.

9. Other things that make readers uncomfortable: Set dressing. We’re used to visual mediums. If you want to set up a really uncomfortable scene, describe key things around it going in, and make it clear that it’s Not Okay. A pair of scissors that have been left half open. A door that is not entirely shut. A radio caught between two stations, the garden hose still left running. Nothing overt, nothing obvious – just stuff that feels uncomfortable to read. Do enough of those in a row, as you head toward a confrontation, and the reader will be a ball of avidly reading tension by the end of it. 

10. Graphic sex scenes are equal to action scenes. In both instances, know where everybody is, and what everybody’s doing. Describe with more physical action than you think is necessary. If the reader doesn’t know where everybody’s limbs are and what tools are being used, then they’ll get confused and bored. You can always edit later.

[eddieydewr]

The irony in Noah being called an anti-Palestine Zionist even though he said he hopes for their peace and distinguished between them and Hamas. . . Do these people purposely twisting his words not know anything about Hamas? Do they think that equating all of Palestine and its people with Hamas is a good thing? I'm at a loss looking at his tag and this fandom. Terrorism is wrong no matter who's doing it and acting like he's said this out of nowhere instead of referencing a very specific event is mind-boggling. Did the mention of Israel suddenly throw all compassion and understanding out the window? Are we not allowed to feel for all innocent lives lost, whether they be Palestinian or Israeli? I don't understand. The callous disrespect for human life is scary to witness. Anyone that supports Hamas supports the extermination of the Jewish and Palestinian people, because Gazans will never be free under terrorist rule and will instead suffer the most no matter what and it is within Hamas' political doctrine to kill the Jews. But sure. Let's all focus our anger on a teenager and act like he called for genocide. If he had omitted "Israel vs terrorism" would they still be so mad even though he was obviously talking about Hamas and what they did recently and still managed to show support for the Palestinian people? Sorry for the essay.

👆👆👆 i think they’re too angry and jumping the gun to really take in what noah wrote. there are people who are already biased against noah, and there are people who can’t or won’t accept nuance. so they’re firm in their conviction that noah is a zionist. they’re also very nitpicky with what noah said; they believe he’s saying palestinians AND muslims are terrorists. the 40 babies being killed is supposed to be misinformation but there is a lot of misinformation, missing context and propaganda flying about - it’s an ongoing event so the incoming news and updates are endless and people will get some things wrong, even without malicious intent. even the most educated people are unable to form their thoughts, so what chance do ordinary people have? even noah who is smart enough for UPenn, but he’s majoring in economics (i think), not geopolitics and such, so he’s supposed to be quiet because he’s not educated in that area, according to twitter activists. i don’t necessarily agree, because he is jewish and he’s worried about his cultural homeland. he also sympathises with palestinians but it’s just not good enough, i guess. we’re supposed to say something but we also should shut up because we’re not educated enough but we’re evil if we’re silent cos that means we side with the oppressors!! we can’t win.

anyway, streets are saying it was a friend who wrote that insta post and they asked noah to share it. whoever wrote it, it’s a sensible, thoughtful post and the backlash is over the top. reading comprehension is out of the window and noah seems to be public enemy number one on my twitter timeline. they talk about him like he’s absolutely vile and akin to a dictator, like he’s responsible for the long history between israel and palestine. the backlash against ST cast members like brett, jamie bower, and cara buono seems nothing in comparison. and we all know why.

[destinygoldenstar]

I’m Taking A Break

So… title says all.

I’m not quitting Tumblr, I’m just taking a break.

Any post you see from me the rest of this month is queued. And I have a friend that’s gonna help me reblog about Palestine so I can still keep word going. That’s important and it would be immoral to abandon that.

Why am I taking a break?

The answer is simple, really. I’m having an anxiety episode. And it’s just gonna get worse if I don’t get help for myself.

Some of my followers know I have anxiety. I got diagnosed a long time ago at this point. While I have moved to a better place that’s helped me since then, it still comes up from time to time. And let me tell you, it’s a detriment to a person. There’s no clear cure to feeling sick to your stomach and being unable to sleep due to nightmares and finding it hard to speak, feeling like you’re gonna throw up at any given moment even though that never happens…

The last time I took a break was the last time I had an episode like this. Three years ago. That was by Dhar Mann’s influence.

Here, some of my friends have figured, including myself, the genocide of Palestine.

I have been reblogging posts to help aid. I have donated to URWNA. I have signed my name to help demand ceasefire. I even registered to vote so I could vote against the ones encouraging said genocide.

Now, I am not Palestine. I have no Palestine relatives as far as I know. Me and my family have the unfortunate privilege of being pasty white peoples in America. That, and my bosses tell me I have a bright future ahead of me.

But my privilege and lack of stakes in the matter should be no excuse for not trying to help those suffering. It’s not fair. It’s not fair that I have a good life and everyone else seems to not.

That sounds like something petty to think, but it is something that’s tearing me up.

That sounds really selfish to talk about at a time like this as though I’m more important than them, but it is how I feel and I can’t ignore my own mental health.

I am the only one in my family that was trying to help. I wanted to change that, so I reached out to them asking if they’d help.

And that caused a dent in my relationship with my grandmother. Who is Catholic.

She was so ignorant to what’s happening that she denied everything I was telling her. Someone who usually falls for scams in a heartbeat questions sites I show her, that I reviewed to be valid. Then she goes on to pray for my well being while also asking I stop what I’m doing and be careful. As it’s not my place in a ‘both sides’ issue.

I felt sick to my stomach the moment she DM’d me this. And I knew I had to keep my distance from her and not look her in the eye.

I’m not a good persuader. But I know she won’t listen. She’s heavily devoted to her religion.

She can do that. That’s not my problem. My problem is that she’s not even trying to understand the issue, or me.

I really hope this isn’t the case for some people, but for me it is. My family and my co-workers watch the Super Bowl. I didn’t. I don’t even care what happened there.

I’m alone in my care on this one.

I would talk to my parents, and a therapist, and I probably will after I post this, but I feel as though they’re gonna say “You’re not Palestine, right? Then you shouldn’t worry about people you don’t even know. Especially if it’s hurting you in the process.”

I care quite a bit about how people view me. Again, Catholic grandparent, even if I am not technically in that religion anymore. The one time I didn’t was when it was clear to me that they’d bully me no matter what. A part of why I moved.

If someone calls me a bad person, I feel that. It doesn’t just fly over my head.

Sure constructive criticism is justified, and I’m not saying people shouldn’t give it to me. But at a time like this it gets so easy to just assume people like me are selfish and evil for not caring and not helping enough.

I don’t need to be a perfect Angel, that’s impossible, but I do want to at least come across as a solid human being.

I work at a local Publix in my area. That’s a community that strives in training their workers to put others first and help people. And that’s a great moral. And I’m grateful to at least help people in a small community, kind of like an average Joe.

Cause I’m not a superhero. I’m not some famous person of power and influence. If I could use that power to save Palestine, I would.

But I don’t.

And I know that this is selfish. I’m not pretending it’s not selfish. Here I am making this all about me.

But anxiety episodes are dents on my well being. And if I can’t help myself, I can’t help anyone.

So for the sake of that, I have to cut myself off from social media. At least for a little while. So I can recover and help again.

I’m not committing to any Pro-Israel product while I’m gone. And I’m not forgetting the war is still happening. Alone or not, stake or not, it’s my responsibility to not ignore it.

So… give me about a month. We’ll see how I feel. Then I’ll probably come back.

Thank you for understanding.

[skyward-floored]

Thanks Silver!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

43! Though a bunch are oneshot collections, and one is an anon fic.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

484,235! Whew!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Legend of Zelda and linkeduniverse mostly these days.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Brethren in a cradle by far my most popular fic. Which still totally blows me away. How are there 952 kudos? On my fic that started as just a self-indulgent daydream?? Thank you so much guys???

Because they aren’t suffering enough in canon (linkeduniverse whumptober 2022) I’m surprised this is second, but I guess I shouldn’t be shocked, you people love whump XD

Accidental domestication which is mostly silly lu fics about wolves that ended up being multiple chapters and rather long. I still love the concept for all of these.

Troubled waters which was my first mermaid Legend fic and I could write wayyyy better now, but I’m pretty proud of it still. And wow I did not realize it was this popular XD

Always darkest before the dawn (linkeduniverse whumptober 2023) HOW DID THIS GET SO MANY KUDOS SO FAST these are only from November?? Wow.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Unfortunately I tend to forget to actually do it, but I love answering them and talking to people. I love seeing what people think of my fics :D

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Mm. That’s hard to say. Probably something whumptober-y..? I’m not thinking of anything particular, I tend to try for a hopeful ending mostly.

Oh... well the one anon fic I have had a SUPER angsty ending, but the second chapter is a little more hopeful. It’s still very angsty though.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably the skyward sword oneshot in courses of love. It’s so fluffy. So. fluffy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not unless you count rude spam bots!

9. Do you write smut?

No.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not really, no. Unless you count lu, and a few wips I have where I mix OCs around.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! Though if it counts, there might be a podfic in progress for one of them :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not exactly? I throw ideas around with people, Tellie especially, and we help each other out with stuff, but I don’t have anything that’s truly co-written I think.

14. What’s you’re all-time favorite ship?

Oh zelink, no question.

15. What’s the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don’t ever totally give up on wips, but there are a few I... do wonder if I’m ever actually going to finish. Mostly my longfics, they’re intimidating and then I scare myself out of working on them :(

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue? I’ve been told my dialogue is pretty solid.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oof, descriptions. And making sure I’m taking the time to show what a character is thinking, and TRANSITION SCEEEENES AUGH

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

That would be fun! I have an oc who speaks a little bit of another language, but I haven’t written much with him unfortunately.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ninjago! Well first published anyway. I scribbled some warrior cats fanfic when I was younger, but there’s only a page or two of that. Ninjago was the first fandom I actually posted fic for.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I gotta pick??? Good grief... some of those whumptobers... Stubborn... under the weather... hmmm “hero what ails you?” maybe? It actually got banned from ao3 for a bit you all should read it now that it’s back 👍

No pressure tags for: @adrift-in-thyme @telemna-hyelle @wolfwarden @only-lonely-stars @nancyheart11 @ anyone who would like to!

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @the-real-azalea-scroggs! Had to wait until I was of my phone because doing these is a nightmare on mobile lmao

1. How many works do you have on A03?

18 as of a few days ago!

2. What's your total A03 word count?

60,763! Which is. Only a fraction of the word count in my Docs folder. Be prepared.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I mainly write for The Legend of Zelda; specifically Linked Universe! In fact, that's all that's posted on my Ao3 currently, since my fall into that fandom began with me uploading there! Pre-Ao3 I wrote for Black Cat (Anime/Manga), Megaman NT Warrior, various Pokémon things, Assassin's Creed, Yugioh, Final Fantasy XIV and Octopath Traveler! Some of these I still write privately, but I haven't gotten around to re-posting any.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Whistling on Deaf Ears - My longest fic on Ao3, focusing on Wild and Twilight's friendship and how good intentions can lead to disaster.

Iconoclasm - Warriors deals with the room full of portraits in Cia's palace. The Chain also deals with it, but with a bit more fire.

Deserving - Twilight finally tells Rusl that he was the wolf in the village during TP, but that also means dealing with some heavier topics. Colin half overhears them and forms his own conclusions.

Something Greater - The start of the "Hyrule can see magical auras" series! In this one we deal with Legend and his many rings.

Ocean Magic - Mermaid Legend and Zora Time have a race and then fight one of the Big Octos from WW! Fun times.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Every single one!! I love comments, they give me an excuse to ramble about my fic more!! I am always down to ramble about every single insignificant detail of any line and/or section. If you ever want more background info about one of my fics, look to the comments! So please, I adore comments, I treat them like treasures, not responding to them would be a CRIME.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

There's no contest; Inevitable, my (so far) only MCD fic.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmmm, that's hard to quantify. I usually try to end fics on a hopeful note regardless. I'd say possibly either Deserving, where Twilight reconnects with his family, or Shimmering Blue, Striking White, where Time meets the Fierce Deity settled down on Satori Mountain and they both get closure.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully, no! I've been blessed with mostly amazing and patient readers, even when my upload schedule isn't the best.

9. Do you write smut?

No, not really. I've attempted it, but I'm too asexual for it lol

10. Do you write crossovers?

Very, very rarely. Mostly privately, and only very specific ones. Only a single one has had an actual plot, so far (more on that one in question 15!).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also a nope! I tend to write for smaller fandoms, where these things don't tend to happen a lot!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! But it's been a while. Over a decade, in fact! I tried to find the fic to link it here, but it was on the German fanfic website fanfiktion.de, and my friend who posted it back then must have deactivated her account, because it's nowhere to be seen (I still have the Word file though!). It was a Multi-Crossover that started as an RP in a forum, and we took turns turning the RP into prose one chapter each. "If a Hero Turns to Dark" was its title. We were edgy teenagers.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Hissssss. Bad question. Shoo. They are all equally important!! But it's probably TenRose from Doctor Who.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

One of the very few crossovers I've ever worked on; a crossover fic between Assassin's Creed and Doctor Who, that I have mapped out in both chronological and timeline order, and yes, those are different. I only ever wrote about a quarter of it, since my primary audience of it disappeared when we graduated. I doubt I'll ever pick it back up properly, and if I do it'll probably go through heavy rewrites first since it's so old. Finishing it is a nice thought, but realistically, after 9 years it'll never be high priority enough for it to actually happen.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, especially arguments, and emotional impact. I've been told I do really well making characters feel alive and believable! Also I like to believe I'm decent at setting a scene and giving it the vibe I want it to have!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with dialogue tags when nothing much is happening besides the talking. I always feel it's too bland, and fall back on the same phrases. My scene transitions could use some work too.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done this with Japanese phrases, because I was a massive weeb. Usually I followed them up with their own translations, though; I'm not the biggest fan of footnote translations, unless they are properly linked to. Simple dialogue tags are my favourite way of indicating a language switch.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Black Cat the Manga/Anime! It's a series about an assassin turned bounty hunter trying to live a life separate from his murdery past, but getting dragged back into things by still wanting to avenge his best friend's death. The series has a special place in my heart and my bookshelf, it left an imprint on 13-year-old me that will never leave.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Probably Jailbreak, uncharacteristically enough! It's one of the only fics I never got stuck in once. Writing it was a great feeling from start to finish. I love writing all of my fics, but that was a special few days.

Tagging @ahrva @nowhere-to-go-but-down @silvercaptain24 and @aeghina! And anyone who wants to do it, really, go wild

[phoenixyfriend]

Commander Buir

Follow-up to this post. Not in any particular order, just spitballing ideas, with contributions from several friends on discord.

Like presumably it takes long enough for them all to meet up again that Anakin and Cody do, in fact, end up treating each other like family, just so I can have that good good "well, guess I'm Dad now" energy. Shmi isn't entirely sure what's going on but she's not a slave anymore and her kid seems to like this rando mando, so.

Anakin gets to have a mom and two dads, though one of the dads is arguably younger than him.

Also when they all meet up again and Cody explains the "General Skywalker got shrunk" thing, there are three reactions: (General) Obi-Wan: Oh, Anakin. Obi-Wan: [gestures to take him, ends up with an armful of clingy padatoddler] Anakin: You can't blame this on me, Obi. Obi-Wan, a little teary, because babies cause emotions: Of course I can, you absurd human being. ------ Rex: That's... my general. Anakin: I am, Captain. Rex: Cool cool cool I'm gonna go stand where I can't, uh, break you. Anakin: I'm not THAT fragile! ------ Ahsoka: [gasp] Skyguy is SKYKID! Anakin: Padawan, this is-- Ahsoka, grabbing him and cuddling: Oh my goodness you're adorable this is the best day ever. Anakin: This is humiliating, Snips, put me down. Ahsoka: Never.

Anakin hates being a toddler because of the lack of independence but Cody keeps picking him up when he's cranky and just holding him until he falls asleep and that's... nice.......

- The brain limitations aren't quite as bad as the situation with Sokanth and Ylliben in the other AU, but - Even if his brain is mostly adjusted he’s still got a tiny body with different needs that he’s not used to. Like, he needs to sleep more but he’s got more energy than usual when he’s awake and it’s all weird.

Cody carrying around toddler Anakin like "God you give me ulcers but you're adorable, you little shit."

Inconveniently tiny body aside, Anakin has a pretty great time in this au. His family are all together and safe and within reach. His wife isn't around, but toddler brain means he doesn't have the Romance Drive, so that's not as bad as it could be It could be significantly worse.

@atagotiak asked: Does Anakin get annoyed about being called cute? - To which I say, He bites the first few times but Shmi tells him that's Naughty so he stops. - Babies are cute so you packbond with them before they’re annoying, Anakin is cute as a self defense mechanism - He’s extra annoying so he needs to be extra cute

You know how you need to keep an eye on toddlers so they don't, like, fall down the stairs or put something toxic in their mouth? - They need to keep an eye on Anakin specifically so he doesn't rewire the ship they're in while they're in hyperspace. - He has less self control on account of being smol. He still has all the mechanical knowledge! Just less comprehension of y’know, consequences.

Anakin, with a sippy cup: This is demeaning. Ahsoka: Your hands don't work great enough to avoid accidents yet. Anakin: It's still embarrassing.

General Kenobi can't just kill Maul, not when Maul is baby right now (sixteen, which is baby enough) so he just. Kinda. Kidnaps a baby Sith. (It's fine. He's fine.)

General Kenobi (not to be confused with Padawan Kenobi) decides to declare Maul his new padawan because someone has to deal with this teenager, and Plo already claimed the rest of Ahsoka's training. And Anakin's three, so.

"What do we do with Maul?" "Eh, I can handle him. I dealt with teenage Anakin getting arrested for illegal pod-racing twice a month, I can work with this."

Maul bites, but only slightly more often than Anakin, it's fine

Ahsoka definitely bullies Maul whenever possible

Consider: Rex holding very still because Anakin wanted to be tall, so he climbed Rex. Being unexpectedly climbed is better than being unexpectedly yeeted. It's still extremely nerve-wracking. - Cody is perfectly capable of running around with a backpacking toddler General, but Rex freezes like a statue. - Ahsoka finds this hilarious

You know how little kids like to be thrown around and swung in circles and stuff like that? This must get even more ridiculous with force users. Can throw a child real high and catch them safely. - Rex panics whenever Ahsoka throws her chibified Master

Literally everyone except Rex loves being yeeted. Even Maul can appreciate a good tactical yeet no shut up he's not having fun this is TRAINING - Rex is Suffering - Cody, a very Tired Dad, deserves to mock his vod'ika a little, as stress relief - Rex, a certified Little Brother, shoves Cody off something tall. Jokes on him, Cody thinks freefall is fun too.

Tia asked: So the people who didn’t exist yet got flung bodily back in time and Anakin did the mental time travel. Why did Obi-Wan not become Padawan Kenobi? (I mean “because I want it that way” is def a good enough answer I’m just wondering if there’s any reason.) - Which, well, it really was mostly "I want to" but here's two options, both of which come down to Blame Daughter and Father. 1. They figured a responsible adult Jedi Master was needed to convince people. 2. Nobody was supposed to get de-aged but Daughter figured they needed to make Anakin less liable to kill things for a few years. - Also IDK the Force God-Manifestations also took away any risk of rapid aging and early death from the clones because uhhhhhhhhhhh I said so

Rex and Ahsoka are fumbling their way through a relationship where ages are just really confusing and awkward, so they're keeping it to just kisses and cuddles for a bit.

Cody is so tired he doesn't even realize anyone's hitting on him until it's been three years of co-parenting with Shmi and his General. - Somehow Anakin knows Cody is in a relationship before Cody does. Cody has never been so embarrassed. - How did he manage to be less observant than Skywalker? -- it was sabotage; all his brain cells were taken up in managing said Skywalker -- Because Skywalker was up at three in the morning whacking a training droid with a stick so he didn't have the energy for Relationships

Also Shmi's come-ons are super subtle, while the General's are... well, Cody's gotten very used to ignoring anything ambiguous on that end because fraternization rules, and also because Obi-Wan flirts a lot with everyone. So.

Please imagine Cody and General Kenobi walking around with Anakin tucked into a toddler sling while they do whatever work they've ended up with at the Temple. - Yes, Cody is helping the Jedi figure out the best plan of attack to take down this slave ring because his grasp on tactics is phenomenal and he knows how to deploy people at greatest efficiency, but also he's got a nosy toddler on his hip who keeps offering his own insane-but-competent ideas. - General Kenobi ends up with a Council Seat just on account of, like, being the kind of person he is. As often as not, he's got Anakin tucked into his robes, chewing on the ear of a stuffed tooka or something.

IDK what Shmi's doing but apparently Legends had it that some of the administrative and support positions in the Temple were held by non-Jedi civilians? So probably something like that.

GENERAL KENOBI LECTURING PADAWAN MAUL WHILE ANAKIN'S BALANCED ON HIS HIP AND GLARING AT MAUL FOR STEALING HIS DAD

General Kenobi: Ahsoka's babysitting. Anakin: I'm her master, I don't need babysitting, this is-- General Kenobi: Fine, then you need supervision, so that you don't blow up a training salle again. Anakin: And you think Ahsoka would stop me? General Kenobi, eye twitching: Fine, I'm leaving you with Plo.

Even if he’s mentally an adult Anakin always needs supervision Look at canon! Anakin was left without supervision for like two days and he became a Sith

Quinlan gets distracted by how attractive General Kenobi is and tells Obi-Wan "dude, you're gonna be so hot once you can get rid of the stupid haircut" and Obi-Wan pushes him into the nearest pond.

They end up with this weird "Uncle Jango" situation (uncle to Anakin, via weird brotherhood-ish to Cody) because Rex and Cody are just like "Uhhhhhhhhh yeah okay" about him eventually, and Jango just like. Drops by. Trying to Earn Affection Of Blood Kin by bringing weird gifts for them and their (ugh) Jedi.

"Okay, Rex'ika, I stopped by Shili--" "What?" "--and apparently this is a delicacy there, so just... your girlfriend will like it." "She's not my girlfriend." "..." "Okay, I can't call her my girlfriend. Jedi have rules about that sort of thing, and--" "This will make your Jedi happy, probably. Just take it, kid."

Baby Anakin got his arm back but for some inexplicable reason still has The Eye Scar. He matches Buir.

[laryna6]

More of the ‘alien attempts to convince human to become co-monarch of the dead and also defend humanity together in an eternal partnership, humans make assumption that someone pulling out all stops to convince human to ‘protect my kids with me’ is after a romantic partnership specifically’ ‘verse:

I was like ‘would there be angst when Sung Jin-Woo is wondering why Ashborn hasn’t set a date yet?’ and then I realize that his family thinks Ashborn is courting using Korea-specific traditions, so it makes sense that a being from another planet would not have a fortune-teller knowledgeable in the stars around this specific planet on tap.

Or actually, according to another source, the groom sends a doc with his astrological data and the bride’s family proposes the date since like, there’s extra stuff that has to be taken into consideration on their side.

So maybe it’s after the initial meet-the-parents and also have their first supervised meeting that Sung Jin-Woo’s going ‘hey I need the moment of your creation down to the hour in terms of both earth calendar and the seasons on your planet and like whatever info you can give me on what the movements and locations of local celestial bodies would have been at the time relative to that planet and images of where stars would have been as seen from the planetary surface - that sort of thing, as much as you can of that. Also have you got any constellations or significance attached to any of that.’ And there probably is given the ‘fragment of brilliant light’ thing and that the creator that is Ashborn’s parent came from the stars, so like, the approach vector??

And then obviously asking Jin-Ho to find the person to do the calculations, so like. Someone is going to get paid enough to be set for life for trying to figure out what is a good day for two spirits to be united with each other and also heaven and earth when there are two earths involved.

Research astrology, or actually research theology, since we’re dealing with one god of light and law-> god of the dead and one human -> god of the dead. Jin-Ho would absolutely manage to find someone happy to be working on that sort of problem.

Thankfully the fortune teller will be able to correct them that SJW needs to be the one wearing blue and Ashborn wearing red. SJW also asked Ms. Selner to help them out with it.

Traditional Korean marriages are very family-centered and Sung Jin-Woo is a very family-centered person and takes commitment seriously, so he’d probably dot the is and cross the ts for all the parts of traditional ceremonies insofar as that is possible rather than taking any cues from current Western/Christian marriage practices since on a ritual level those are committing to a relationship between three parties (individual + individual + god or government) rather than two people + their families (in the context of the worlds and spirits they’re connected to). Igris’ people probably have some eternal commitment/blood (sap) brotherhood ceremony he’d try to incorporate to cover Ashborn’s side of things since the rulers themselves don’t have a marriage tradition.

...since his understanding of ‘marriage’ is ‘2+ beings swearing eternal partnership where they share a domain and shelter and maybe create other beings together and also join together’ Ashborn would probably go ‘yeah that is absolutely the human word for what I am going for here.’

So Jin-Woo going ‘so is this a good day and time for us to get married and just to be sure is my apartment going to be okay to do it?’ and Ashborn is ‘well for you to become my equal and ascend to your power as a fellow death-god your soul will need to enter my shadow but there’s no reason you can’t do that from your apartment’

They work out that Jin-Woo does that, then Jin-Woo summons Ashborn as a shadow so his actual spiritual body isn’t there since it can’t survive on earth yet and they do the human ceremony of commitment and exchange of vows.

Next problem is wedding invites, and actually Il-Hwan is in communication with rulers in canon so he probably CAN ask them to come and WILL in case of any funny business. But there’s limited space in apartment, so two of them are going to have to attend from inside Go Gun-Hee and Thomas Andre, who is going to take up a ton of space as it is.

Wedding invites include a date for a meeting sometime in the previous two days so Jin-Woo can explain what’s going on so nobody freaks out, throws down, and wrecks the building. Mom goes ‘do you want me to come help explain’ and Jin-Woo is ‘ILU mom’

Homosexual marriage is not legal in SK, and although a marriage between a man and a genderless being is in fact a heterosexual marriage it’s probably still not legal, but Sung Jin-Woo’s only interest in laws and regs is ‘how do I keep them from getting in the way while I do whatever I want’ so he probably does not give a solitary damn what the government thinks of his marriage status, but GGH might be ‘oh heads up someone vital to this country’s survival is marrying a genderless person so you might want to recognize that as a thing to make sure you don’t piss him off’ and like, every country wants s-ranks so getting Ashborn docs is trivial. They’re probably even accurate.

So media is now blowing up because marriage of most powerful hunter is Big News and ofc they are pissed since it is actual canon that when when Sung Jin-Woo holds a press conference it is a sign of the end of the world. So they have to settle for AhJin guild’s press releases and whatever Go Gun-Hee and Thomas Andre feel like saying. And they are both benevolent bastards.

Ok, so... staying at bride’s house for three days after ceremony...

Couples are supposed to control their emotions and be somber and reserved during ceremony, fortunately for Sung Jin-Woo. It will be clear that they are both taking this as a Very Serious Commitment.

Korean weddings are two families becoming one as well as the two people, so like, the rulers are now Sung Jin-Woo’s Family, as well as him being grateful to them for saving his dad, so.

Ceremony is begun by entrance of The Moms. If Sung Jin-Woo gets informed re. Ms. Selner containing a piece of the creator, he absolutely will hit up the US to borrow her. She is a grandma, in the peaceful timeline at least, so presumably she is a mom.

Problem: since Ashborn has the yin element, does that mean ceremony needs to take place at his family’s place? Either way, after the ceremony at the bride’s family’s place, there’s a second ceremony at the groom’s family, so to an alien planet it is. Dates and chestnuts are supposed to be offered by the guest family at the second ceremony, and dates and chestnuts only grow on earth, so that works with the first ceremony being at SJW’s apartment. With pomegranate seeds added to cover adoption of undead children.

I was thinking SJW googling ‘marrying a god’ traditions to find things he might want to incorporate so make this ironclad? But like, a professional has been hired, so.

I was like, SJW planning a honeymoon since hosting Ashborn on earth? But like, SJW would absolutely go ‘best place on this planet is my apartment with my family’ so the fact that’s the traditional post wedding thing is just ‘yes perfect.’

‘Spend time with my family, spend time with Ashborn’s family, kill everything that poses a threat to our families‘ is optimum scheduling *nodsnods*

[boredfanwrites]

Buddie #1

There is not a bone in my body that can accept that in any other universe they wouldn't be perfect together. Post 4x14 so SPOILERS for that. This got so much longer than I thought it would be. Sorry in advance, there's much more under the cut.

· Eddie tells him about the will. Chris goes to Buck if anything happens to Eddie. Which it very nearly did.

· It causes Buck to actually stop and think things through before rushing into danger.

· The rest of the team question it while Eddie's recovering but he just says there's someone relying on him now.

· They take it to mean Taylor - well Chimney and Albert do, Hen and Bobby are more clued in.

· Buck talks about Eddie and Chris like he did when they quarantined together - like they're living together again.

· They are.

· Buck moved in to help Eddie and his recovery, with Ana stepping in when he was on shifts - even if she tended to undo everything Buck had done.

· He tells himself it's because she's not used to the way he and Eddie do things - yes that one singular bowl and plate live in the lower cupboard, it's so Eddie can reach them easily. Chris always picks the movie on movie nights, Eddie and Buck alternate when he's gone to bed.

· Eddie is stubborn as always, but has managed to allow Buck to help him dress and shower - Ana is very much not allowed, despite her protests they're barely in a relationship.

· Eddie explains to Buck that yes, they've been together for six months but they've not really been togetherand he quietly admits that he regrets telling Chris so soon.

· Buck calms him and says that it was right to introduce Chris to the idea of Eddie dating, but yeah, maybe it wasn't smart to spring Ana on him so early - especially because she decided she had to be a bigger part of his life now he was aware.

· Chris manages to get to the station once while Buck is on shift.

· Buck comes back to Albert making him pancakes and Chris scribbling with the things they keep for the school trips.

· 'What are you doing here, bud? Does your dad know?'

· 'Kinda.'

· 'What does kinda mean here?'

· 'He knows I wanted to see you. I don't think he knows that I came here.'

· Albert quickly jumps in saying he's texted Eddie and he and Carla are on their way, it just happens that the rig got back before they got there.

· Buck sits down with Chris, leaning his head on his arms and looks at the picture. It's him, Eddie and Buck with Carla and her husband in the background.

· 'What's wrong, Chris?'

· 'Ana.'

· 'Ok, what did she do?'

· 'Tried to get me to bath before I ate and then said I had to do my homework before TV time.'

· 'Buddy, you always have to do your homework before TV time.'

· 'But she tried to help me.'

· 'Your dad and I try our best to help you. She's a teacher, she's better use than us.'

· 'No that's not it.'

· Chris has tears in his eyes and a death grip on his crayon.

· 'She told the poor boy his handwriting was ineligible and took his pencil, tried to get him to tell her the answers and that she would write them for him.' Carla sighs.

· She stands with her arms open and Chris runs into them. Eddie looms behind them, looking sad.

· Well, neutral really, but Buck knows his micro expressions well enough.

· After that Ana is banned from the house in the afternoons/evenings and Carla steps back in. The new problem is Ana turning up when Buck has days off - their schedule was she was here when Buck wasn't, for multiple reasons.

· Ana's great, there's just something about her that Buck doesn't like and she definitely doesn't like Buck. Maybe it's because they're just opposites.

· Eddie tries to gently tell her that he barely gets to see Buck anymore and he needs it for his mental health. Ana starts pestering about the fact that he should want to see his girlfriend more than his best friend.

· It's one of their biggest fights and turns into a screaming match one night (Chris is at Hen's with Denny but Buck is hiding away in the guest room) where Eddie shouts that she had decided that she was his girlfriend without asking Eddie if that was what he wanted and she was suffocating.

· She leaves pretty quickly after that and Buck is incredibly happy as their paths never cross again.

· There's an emptiness settling in his chest when he finds out that the two are still together and are treating the relationship as though they're just dating again. He hates that he really doesn't like the idea that it's working out now that they're on even footing.

· He decides to push it away and starts getting reckless again. Taylor's hanging around the station more like she wants more from Buck, but he'd given up. She liked being chased and now that he's tired of it, she wants him. He knows she'll get bored if he shows interest again.

· It's interest he doesn't have. Eddie had called him Evan and told him he deserved more. How was he supposed to go back to normal after that?

· Why doesn't Eddie see how life changing that was?

· Eddie does. But in typical Eddie fashion, he pushes it deep down and replaces it with his content being with Ana. She makes his parents happy, which makes him happy. She gets along with Pepa and Isabel and his sisters, but they act a lot more familial with Buck.

· It makes sense, he tells himself - they've had years with Buck.

· Nothing really changes for Buck until TK and Judd find themselves in LA. Buck hastily explains to TK that he wasn't asking him out back in Austin, he just wanted a friend and really he wasn't attracted to guys.

· TK just straight up laughs at Buck.

· 'Buckley, you checked me, Carlos, and the barista out in the span of like five minutes. You're a little attracted to guys.'

· 'Wait, you mean you and Diaz ain't datin'?'

· Judd's question throws Buck through a loop.

· 'What? No...we're just...we're friends. Best friends.'

· TK laughs again, patting Buck on the shoulder.

· Once they're on their last day, TK takes Buck out for a drink like he'd promised. Buck tries to ignore the fact he's brought him to a gay bar.

· He gets hit on at least three times in an hour, not to mention the building collection of beers for both him and TK and he decides he doesn't actually mind it.

· 'Ok, I want you to do something for me. Scan the crowd and pick a guy, any guy, and tell me what you find attractive about him.'

· Buck picks out a shorter man, tanned skin and dark hair.

· 'He's got a cute smile.'

· 'Oh boy, you have a type.'

· 'Huh?'

· 'He looks like Eddie.'

· And he does. Like a Walmart version of Eddie though. He didn't laugh like Eddie, didn't have the same laugh lines. Or frown lines. His eyes weren't as warm when he met Buck's nor did he smile as fondly. And...

· 'Fuck.'

· 'You just now realizing your feelings for him?'

· 'Yeah. How did I not know?'

· 'Honestly, it was probably such a subtle shift. From what you've told me you've basically been a couple for a year and a half, so you didn't realize anything had changed for you.'

· 'I've never denied it.'

· 'I mean you clearly must have.'

· 'No. I meant that there have been so many times people assumed Eddie and I were a couple and I never denied it, I went along with it all.'

· 'Shit man, you had it bad before you even realized.'

· Buck groans as TK throws an arm around him, leaning against his shoulder.

· Things change after that. Buck is hesitant with physical touch with Eddie - it's his main love language and he needs to make sure he's not overdoing it and making Eddie uncomfortable.

· Eddie notices because of course, he does. Buck has pulled away from him for seemingly no reason. The second Eddie can dress, shower, and reach the high cabinets himself Buck is talking about going home.

· He is home.

· Eddie doesn't say it, he just hums, not really agreeing. He's gotten used to Buck being around and so has Chris. They'd easily fallen back into their quarantine routine and now Buck would be leaving again.

· A quick thought of getting shot again fills Eddie's head. Though this time it's nothing to do with his PTSD and more so that he doesn't want Buck to leave. So he exaggerates just a little.

· 'You know, my PTSD is still acting up. Maybe, you could stay until it balances out a little?'

· 'You'd want me to?'

· 'Yeah, you're great at getting me out and calming me and Christopher down.'

· 'You don't think Ana should start taking up some night shifts?'

· 'I don't really want her to deal with that side of me yet.'

· 'Okay.'

· 'Okay?'

· 'Yeah, I'll stay.'

· Eddie keeps an eye on Buck just as much as he keeps an eye on Eddie. He quickly realizes that Buck is holding in his own troubles. He knows from experience that Buck does not think his problems are anywhere near as bad as everyone else's. He has a lot of unlearning to do.

· Subtly, Eddie starts talking to him about his mental state, his worries, trying to let Buck know it's ok to do the same.

· When he and Ana inevitably break up not even a month later, it's Buck that he tells first.

· Buck, who has his back.

· Buck, who loves Christopher as his own.

· Buck, who is insecure about everything he does except saving people.

· Buck, who thinks he is unworthy and undeserving of love.

· Buck, who shows his love through acts of kindness and physical affection.

· Buck, who Eddie is so unapologetically in love with and probably has been for years.

· The revelation doesn't shock him like he thought it would. More so, it was a natural progression of their relationship.

· Friends. Best friends. Co-parents. Co-habiting. Partners. Partners.

· Eddie sees a future with Buck, a future he'd only ever seen with Shannon but it's so much brighter.

· He comes home from his first shift back - Buck wasn't working and offered to look after Christopher so Eddie knew he was safe - to find Buck on the couch, staring into an empty beer bottle.

· 'Hey?' it's broken and Eddie drops his things to rush over to him.

· 'You good?'

· 'No. I'm not.'

· Buck looks up, tears in his eyes, cheeks red and puffy.

· 'What's going on, Evan?'

· That's all it takes. He breaks. He babbles about watching Eddie die over and over in his dreams. How sometimes the shower will splash his face just so and he's thrown back with Eddie's blood on his face. How he was trying to get through it with Dr. Copeland but it wasn't helping.

· Nothing was helping.

· 'It's ok. I'm here, I'm okay.'

· 'You weren't. You died, Eds. You died on me.'

· 'You saved me.'

· 'What if I hadn't? I don't know a life without you anymore. I can't lose another person I love.'

· 'You love me?'

· 'Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?'

· Buck registers his words, quickly backing away from Eddie and tries to make a break for the open door. Eddie isn't letting him run away anymore. His wrist snakes around Buck's.

· 'Evan. I told you there wasn't anyone else I'd want to look after Christ. I told you you weren't expendable. I said that because I love you and you needed to hear it. You had to learn you deserved love. Love that Chris shows you. Love that I can show you. I love you so much, Evan Buckley.'

· Buck crumples in Eddie's arms, Eddie rocks him gently until the sobs subside.

· It's not an immediate or obvious change. There are still things the two need to work through.

· It's different but the same. There's more contact now; hugs, tactile hands on waists, and backs at work. Kisses in the bunk, soft and slow.

· It's new and exciting. Especially when they finally get together, officially and exclusively.

· Chris loves telling everyone about his two dads.

· Eddie and Buck are happier, closer.

· Buck had always been a Diaz. He'd always had a family who loved him. The big change was he got to love them both endlessly in return.

[daydream-believin]

MERLIN’S APPRENTICE & MERLIN’S CHAMPION || trollhunters

warnings: swearing

a/n: if rott gave me anything it gave me this idea

I KNOW I SAID “JUICY” BUT REALLY THAT WAS JUST THE ANGST POTENTIAL,, THAT IM NOT INDULGING IN THIS POST IM SORRY LMAO

OKAY WHAT IM REALLY TALKING BOUT HERE IS A GOOD MERLIN/ARTHUR BUT IT ACTUALLY WORKS

no sorry i haven’t seen bbc merlin don’t come for me i’m ignorant

OKAY SO

we know douxie kept an eye on the human trollhunter and co

but douxie’s really having a hard time convincing himself he’s just doing his job

he’s actually enjoying this a little too much despite how boring staying in the shadows is

and he’s kinda worried?

so he’s got this bright idea: you know what would better help him keeps tabs? if he befriends this person

and so he does

fuck merlin’s shadows

sod the rules

ofc he’s very up front about knowing they’re the trollhunter and that he’s merlin’s apprentice

we wouldn’t want that to become a huge festering secret that eats douxie from the inside out until the inevitable reveal when merlin calls them both to help with the arcane order and they realize they’ve both been lying to each other’s faces for months/years and neither of them know if they could ever trust the other again, right? — phew *catches breath*

but before you know it, mr. casperan and mx. trollhunter are best friends

he’s basically the toby to your jim

and you’re very happy to have a best friend like douxie

he understands that monster hunting hustle

he’s the only person you can vent to and actually talk about what’s going on without sounding like a loon

and douxie likes being able to tell someone all his frustrations with merlin, since you’re also in that boat with him

you spar sometimes. it’s fun, but you’re very careful not to accidentally hurt your friend (he’s extremely careful not to hurt you or wound your ego by effortlessly wiping you out)

ofc, there’s the occasional, brushing of hands, faces a little too close together, accidentally winding up on top of one another, purposefully winding up on top of one another 👀 you know how sparring be

you and douxie are a duo. a duo who have become trollmarket’s resident troublemakers, to vendel’s exasperation

you guys tease each other a lot

you do a lot of stupid shit, cause hey, now you have magic armor and a magic sword and a magic best friend, did you think you wouldn’t get up to some shenanigans?

douxie is your impulse control and he’s not a very good one, as he’s just as bad

truthfully archie has the brain cell

and pranks? gods the pranks. you two are always either pranking each other or you’re teaming up to prank some other troll who said smth mean to you in the pub. vendel had to personally put a stop to it (read: chew you out)

doux thinks the world of you tho, you’re such a noble knight, and likes to tell people about how you’re a cinnamon roll, so innocent, so pure

and then they meet you and you directly contradict those statements

trollhunter: i’ve never done anything wrong in my life, ever

douxie: i know this and i love you

(spoiler: you’ve done lots and lots of wrong)

doux spends an awful lot of time slinking around trollmarket now, and he’s in the know for everything that’s happening

(no more being kept in the dark for this wizard apprentice)

and doux knows merlin won’t completely approve of this, but hey, it’s not like he’s helping and thus directly disobeying

really, he’s not helping you at all, it’s really fucking annoying

okay so mayyybe the occasional healing spell. you’ve got those puppy dog eyes he can’t say no to

but you understand his sense of duty, or whatever it is that drives a follower, technically being a follower of merlin yourself

you respect the old geezer (as you have not been turned into a half-troll yet) as a wise mythical figure, and as your best friend’s father

and what a perfect match you are for each other, champion and apprentice, mutually being screwed over by a guy you both think has all the answers

you and douxie help each other grow in your self-worths, that you two are more than the chances merlin has given to you

unfortunately, mortifyingly, you have caught feelings.

douxie has also caught feelings, and is saying nothing yep you have enough on your plate without him putting this on you so he’ll just quietly pine and suffer don’t mind him choking to death in the corner when you take off your helmet and throw back your hair

y’all’s problem really starts manifesting itself as protectiveness. you are really protective of your wizard and he is really protective of his knight

lots of things said that are Not What Friends Say but neither of you really want to be the one to point that out

lots and lots of i love yous that slowly get more and more serious until it’s not exactly platonic anymore

and it’s just really nice to have someone to get coffee (or your favored hot drink) with at four in the morning after a tussle with a troll

and that’s basically how you and douxie spend the bulk of trollhunters, just vibing

as much as you can vibe, with all the changelings and shit trying to murder you all the time

then merlin wakes up and shakes up your world

you are aware of your impending doom

you’re aware of it

merlin keeps looking you up and down like he’s mentally making up the measurements of your coffin

and tbh the idea of fighting gunmar freaks you tf out

and you’re supposed to win that fight?

gods

you’re preparing for your nightmares coming true soon

truthfully you knew your fucking job had a 100% mortality rate

you don’t want to die with regrets

so

you spill

you spill all the things you’d wanted to tell him and how much he means to you and that you couldn’t bear it if you were a goner before he knew

miraculously, douxie feels the same and tells you all the things he’d been holding back and and what you mean to him and how much he wants to protect you, that you’re gonna make it, if he had anything to say about it

and everything is perfect for one night

now you have a real reason to win

not that saving humanity isn’t a big responsibility on your shoulders and definitely A Reason

but knowing douxie’s waiting for you, for the life you’ll build together after this, the peace you’ll both have, it’s absolutely a big motivation to give your all and come out victorious and survive

hahaha loser you don’t know about the arcane order

and then merlin uses your microwave to cook a weird potion

you and merlin are alone in the house, but there’s no real mind games necessary. you may have grown past thinking he was a god, but in the end, you’re still a follower of merlin, and if merlin thinks this could give you an edge, well, who are you to question his methods

doesn’t mean you aren’t nervous as your master hands you the bottle

yet you don’t even hesitate to drown yourself in the black abyss of the tub

whatever it takes amirite?

and now you’re a half-troll

a sexy half-troll, if you do say so yourself

yeah, no ‘i’m a monster’ angst here, you’re loving the power-up

you’ve got to treat it like a cool new power-up or you will cry actually tbh i lied about the no-angst thing a new body is disorienting

your only real concern is douxie

not concerned for long tho, he sees you and the first thing out of his mouth is “nuclear!”

and he senses your concern, so he does go out of his way to assure you that boy, girl, enby, or half-troll, he loves you for your soul, darling

also again half-troll! you is hot as hell so he’s not really losing anything here 👀

he makes sure you know that too, not to let any insecurities fester

him raking his eyes up and down you gives the opposite effect of the dread merlin sent down your spine doing it

anyways,,,

doux helps out a lot more in the eternal night

like helps merlin re-defeat and re-seal morgana

he’ll do it again in few weeks but with a bigger role you know, this is practice

thank merlin for that edge YOU ARE THE LAST TROLLHUNTER YOU ARE VICTORIOUS YOUVE GOT GUNMARS HEAD IN YOUR HANDS HAHAHA

but now you’ve got to go to new jersey

douxie’s been instructed to stay in arcadia tho 🥺

it’s okay, you’ll see each other again soon

sooner than you realize

and until then you talk each other to sleep every night over the phone <3

merlins glad, actually. he’s glad hisirdoux found some solace. even if it is with the lamb he was raising for the slaughter. maybe things will go okay for them. the time map suggests it might be so

hisirdoux may have done things in a way he didn’t quite approve of, but that’s because he’s becoming his own wizard, and merlin is proud

[angeli-marco-writes]

Sam Holland - Don't Tell

A/N & WC - This is not meant to glorify or condone adultery in any way. I do not know Sam, nor do I claim to, this is a work of fiction. This was written before Sam posted about a new girlfriend: no disrespect is meant towards her. I do not believe Sam would do this: it is fictitious. 3.5k.

Warnings - Adultery, explicit smut, unprotected sex, swearing, reader is the other woman, swearing, brief allusions to SA. 18+.

Summary - When Sam booty calls you, you can't deny him, but will sexual satisfaction be enough? Or will you always want from him what you know you can't have?

THIS WASN’T HOW YOU’D PLANNED to spend your Saturday afternoon, but Sam called, and who were you to deny him?

‘Come over at 3.’ He texted you. ‘She’s leaving then.’

No kisses, no emojis, no frills, no sign off, nothing. You’re just a nameless number in his phone. You knew what it meant. You’ve done it plenty of times before, so you know the drill, it’s just not exactly pleasant.

With ample time, you left your house, your new place only a couple of streets over from the Holland household, and you walked as inconspicuously as possible. Your coat wrapped tightly around you, you refused to make eye contact with anyone on the whole walk there.

You know the drill so well by now that you know not to stick to the front of the house, but instead to head around the back—straight into his bedroom window—via the bins. Theoretically, with no one home and Sam in the living room, you could walk in the front door, but his room is safest since she has always refused to enter—’just in case.’

Your heart thuds against your chest while you hold your breath, praying not to be heard downstairs the second your feet land on his floor. You press yourself flat against the wall behind Sam’s door, lips pursed and eyes squeezed shut, every muscle in your body clenched to the maximum. You’ve trained yourself to stay so quiet that the only sounds are your pounding, racing heart and the blood rushing in your ears.

Thankfully, before cramp can override you, you hear the words that give you the all clear.

“Bye, love!” he calls down the driveway, followed by a half hearted air kiss, a deafening crunching on the gravel driveway, and the front door at last clicking shut.

Your body finally relaxes, limbs falling loosely around you while you release one of the longest held breaths you’ve ever had.

You creak open Sam’s bedroom door, ready for him to meet you, and shrug your coat off, throwing it on the floor alongside your converse when you hear him coming upstairs. He gets like this, heavy steps and heaved breaths like they’re a strain on his body, and it usually means he’s extra horny.

“What took so long, lover boy?” you tease, standing scantily clad in his door frame, leaning against the painted wood.

His eyes darken with lust as he approaches you, his shadow from the landing already overpowering.

This isn’t like any sex or ‘relationship’ you’ve ever been in before. It’s risky, and that risk makes it so much hotter. Always leaving the door open just a crack so that the two of you could be found only by those closest to Sam, the chance of being caught together in the street on the off chance you go for drinks; after all, your reputation precedes you. But it’s the adulterous element of your relationship that makes it so fun. The fact that it’s usually after his girlfriend leaves that you’re called over to relieve his not-so-little ‘problem’, the little marks you trail across the hidden parts of his body, occasionally being risky enough to plant one on the juncture of his neck and shoulder just to test the waters.

After being together for over two years, she still refuses to do anything with him. Of course you respect such a thing: if she wants to wait till marriage and is able to resist Sam for that long, props to her. It’s just not always ideal for all party members. Sure, they’ve kissed, a little groping, but by this point, with how little Sam's lass has done with him, he’s immensely riled up.

He really likes his girlfriend, of course he does, and he’s spoken to her about this time and time again, asking why they couldn’t just do something more than a PG-12 touching session. She simply shook her head and smiled every time, “I’m saving myself for marriage, Sammy.” This infuriated him hugely. He’s been with a girl or two (or ten) before her, so is very expectant, but being twenty-two has its burdens. He isn’t anywhere near ready for marriage, but is increasingly sexually frustrated. So after an insane year of getting by with absolutely no action apart from the rare lap dance and make out, he knew he had to do something besides use his own hand to relieve the tension that was making him a complete prick.

He respects his girlfriend enough not to pressure her. Sam isn’t a bad person and so he isn’t going to coerce his girlfriend into sex she doesn’t want, seeing it as utterly immoral, so he did the only thing he could think of, and turned to the girl next door, quite literally. Not that it’s any more moral, but here you are.

As soon as he reaches you, the smirk etched upon his face is perfect, just what you expect, and his hands grip your waist tightly.

“You think you’re so cheeky,” he smirks, and his lips crash onto yours the next moment, his hands spanning your sides. His affection halts as he smacks the side of your ass. “I’ll show you cheeky.”

You don’t let him get another word in before you’re kissing him again, furiously this time, hooking one leg around his waist as the other flies to his neck, your clasp anything but gentle.

You’ve known of the Holland family for a while, living a street away, going to school with the boys and your mother having ‘neighbourhood meetings’ with the family. You, however, had had nothing to do with them, never getting involved in their ordeals, not really.

Keeping a resolutely ‘good girl’ demeanour all through school was difficult, especially when you wanted to rebel so earnestly. The first step was house parties, beginning when you were in year ten, everyone getting shit-faced and ending up giving sloppy hand-jobs in someone’s downstairs loo. That much you weren’t a fan of, so you waited until the end of school, A-Levels secured to be who you wanted to be. Trench coats, docs and chucks at every turn, short shorts and fishnets. Lots of hair dye came next, followed by a ‘scandalous’ collection of piercings, and a significant body count for someone your age, or so conservative old women perceived. Fuck them, your body your choice.

Times changed in a year and a half, though not that much. Mid way through your rebellion, you got a good job, your own place, and became a call girl, essentially. Sam’s call girl only, considering your regrettable soft spot for him.

You couldn’t care less though, even though it’s adulterous, Sam is incredible in bed. He frequently tells you the same.

“I think you’re rubbing off on me,” he murmurs, “even when she was kissing me I could only think of you.” His lips are inches from yours with your breath mingling in the confined space of his doorway as you pant.

He hasn’t touched you yet, or even moved you to the bed. You feel yourself blush a little, scared fractionally by what he’s saying but mostly flattered. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself. It makes you feel like your old self is creeping in again, the girl next door that no one fell for.

“I like it when you get all shy on me, really naïve, shows me you’re a human and not just a sex goddess. My sex goddess.”

You pull his lips to yours with a burning passion, desperate to feel him up against you. Your palms settle this time on Sam's cheeks, angling his face to get the most out of the kiss, and your hold remains resolute so that he can’t pull away easily. This isn’t your dominance though, simply a ploy to hide your flushed cheeks from his prying eyes, the blush that’s been caused by his kind words. You want to keep him here long enough that you can claim the blush is from the breathlessness and the actions of his tongue slipping inside your mouth with an urgency you haven’t felt with him for a while. Is this the day that changes everything?

He backs you to the bed, walking unsteadily, and pushes you down onto the springy mattress. It pitches beneath you as he joins you, sitting by your side, his hand gravitating towards your thigh.

“Hey, what is it?” you ask, a slight hesitant stammer to your words.

“Nothing,” he sulks. “Just dunno how long I can keep doing this.”

His baleful eyes hover over your decolletage, and before you can protest and try to get him to open up about the whole situation, discussing the fact that maybe you should just quit while you’re ahead and come clean (because to be fair, it’s beginning to weight on your conscience too, even though you’ve never met said girlfriend), he kisses you, pinching your nipple through your bra until it forms a pebbled bud.

“Gonna take it all out on you,” he hisses, moving his kisses to your jaw. “All this pent up need from missing your body. God, feel so good beneath me.”

He swings a leg over to straddle your legs, and begins a ferocious attack on your neck with his teeth. You’ll have fun at work tomorrow, trying to hide them from your co-workers, one of them (on a temp basis, at least) being Sam’s twin. Harry cottoned on pretty easy, and won’t say a word, because he doesn’t want to deal with Sam’s temper when he’s been denied sex for too long. He likes Sam’s girlfriend, sure, but she doesn’t compromise on anything and looks down her nose at the lot of them, so he considers it fair play. And besides, with his track record, he really doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

Unwittingly, your hips buck up to meet his, feeling his throbbing need pressing against your pelvis, only for him to draw his body away from you, a bruising kiss being pressed to your lips the next moment. All in a flurry, your top is pulled down, your chest revealed to him.

“Bloody love your tits,” he purrs, a feral grin contorting his freckled face.

He rolls your pert bud between the rough pads of his fingers, palming at the other breast so as not to neglect it, only swapping when you’re beginning to writhe under him. His grin only increases.

“Sam… please.”

He knows what you want when you whine that way, so he sits up on his shins, and lets you tear his shirt open. Button by button, you watch as every inch of his pale chest is bared to you, his happy trail coaxing you lower.

“Get on with it, then,” he warns, clamping a hand around your hair in order to control your movements. He does this a lot, it’s his main power move. “They’re too damn tight now you’re around.”

You can definitely see that, the denim of his jeans pulled taut around his torso, the waistband of his boxers peeking above. He begins to pluck at your nipples again while you fumble with his buckle and zip, eventually tugging both items of clothing down at once. He stands, his lanky frame just a blur of white and freckles as he removes every last item, prowling back to you on the bed.

You, however, have other ideas, tugging him down with a grip on his shoulders until he’s helpless beneath you. In the time he was distracted with shucking his jeans off at last, you peeled your own shirt off and put your bra right. Sam’s a boob man, always has been, and takes great pleasure in fastening and unfastening your bras as much as he can, nestling into your chest for the time you spend together.

Since your last rodeo, you’ve gained some weight, and filled out a tad more, something Sam seems to notice right about now, especially as your chest hovers just inches from his face.

“Well? Are you gonna stare at them all day or take it off?”

This man… this man has the fucking audacity to lick his lips as one hand works on the hooks at the back of your bra, the other skimming the edges of the cups before it falls into his hands and he flings it across the room, knocking something off his dresser.

As soon as it's out of his way, he seems to forget everything apart from you, his eyes mesmerised by your chest, his mouth gaping a little, his eyes lingering on your hardened nipples for perhaps just a moment too long. You sigh to yourself, letting your knees dig into his navy comforter before your fingers wrap around his hand and place it onto your right breast. You know that, if you let him stare long enough, you’ll get nothing done. You need this release as much as he does. He takes the message, though, and begins kneading the flesh with a need you haven’t seen from him before. You even catch a wolfish grin when your face contorts into a silent ‘o’, overcome with pleasure. He tweaks your one nipple, and leans up to capture the other in his kiss-swollen lips, lavishing kisses around the sensitive area. You can’t help your nails leaving faint scratch marks in their wake over his freckled shoulders, tracing the silhouettes beneath his skin of muscle and bone, finding constellations within the freckles until he’s quaking beneath your delicate touch…

“Why’re you being such a tease?” he whines.

He has a point, you’re grinding down on his clothed cock in tandem with his playing with your boobs, your core hovering over his hard member, but it’s only fair with the stimulation he’s offering you. Just to shut him up, in one swift move you pull his boxers down and reach down to grasp him, stroking a couple of times before inching down, swallowing his aching length into your welcoming, warm walls.

Your moans create a heavenly sympathy, even as you stop for a moment to adjust to his size a little more, placing your hands on his pecs before grinding down on him. His hips begin to move, thrusting upwards and into you, finding a satisfying pace in tandem for you both as you ride him like there’s no tomorrow.

“Baby…” he moans, reaching out with his lips puckered to wrap them around your exposed nipple, suckling viciously, hard enough to hurt just a little.

“Stand up,” you command authoritatively, with a softness to your tone despite.

He grows harder inside of you, barely suppressing a groan, but his plan fails from shock when you bend over, clenching the foot of his bed so tightly your knuckles begin to turn white.

Casting a sensual glance over your shoulder, you bat your lashes and coax him the only way you know how, a wiggle of your bum added to help convince him; “Fuck me, Sammy…”

Your gasp is shrill and loud when he enters your craving core from behind, your knees nearly buckling when a stream of expletives falls from his lips once he grabs your hips, settling there. You’re sure to have hand-shaped imprints there tomorrow, but you don’t care, and apparently neither does Sam as he continues to thrust into you at an inhuman pace.

Breathy moans escape your lips as your nails find purchase in the sheets, now crumpled in your clenched fists. The only thing that fills your ears other than skin slapping against skin is the myriad of colourful words spilling from Sam in a groan, right down your ear.

“y/n… please…” he hums nonsensically, his lips finding their way to your shoulder blade and neck, kissing you, suckling.

He’s such a hypocrite: one rule for him, one rule for you, just because he’s got a girlfriend and is too pussy to break up with her even though his needs aren’t being met. For a brief moment, your body being used for his pleasure—and bringing you simultaneous heavenly satisfaction—you’re able to forget the consequences of your fornications.

They slip your mind once again the second one of his rough hands slowly makes its way down your front, finding your clit as he begins to rub harsh circles on it.

“Fuck…” you cry out, only for the heel of that hand to press into your pelvis, the other snaking around to your neck, applying the faintest pressure. Your walls tighten around him at the double stimulation.

His hips begin to move faster, blissful moans filling the room in symphony as you both near your highs, his tip grazing your special spot on every single thrust.

“C’mon,” he purrs in your ear, “can feel how close you are…” the pressure on your engorged pearl becomes a constant, and your body begins to spasm with unbridled pleasure. “Come.”

You do, and fireworks spark behind your eyes, setting off a train reaction in your brain, your walls clenching and your body collapsing, chest first, onto the edge of the bed. You must’ve cried out at some point, but your scream became but a gasp with his hand snug around your throat.

His thrusts slow, and he aids you onto the bed by your waist, but you roll away from him, aware that he hasn’t climaxed yet. He follows you down as your fingers link around his neck, but he’s not satisfied with that—as the smirk playing on his lips, causing dimples in his freckles, tells you—so he hovers above you on his knees. The hairs on his shins grate against the duvet cover so he shifts, but your hands move from his neck to his cheeks, pulling him closer to tangle your tongues together. His erection teases your wet folds while you’re lost in the movements of your mouths, and before you know it, he’s entering you again, and your hands are getting lost in his dark, silky locks, his one hand roughly kneading your breast. His thrusts recommence at a slower pace than before, his heels digging into the mattress as his groans overpower yours in the otherwise silent room.

“Shit… oh my God—” he hisses.

He begins to move faster, so you tug at his hair, revelling in the praises he offers, eliciting various heavy moans from his preoccupied mouth in between kisses. His warm breath and the resverberation of the moan vibrate across your lips, causing your hips to rock further into his, your legs wrapping around his toned torso to give him better access to your eager core. His movements become deeper as your breathing becomes even more escalated with high pitched moans tearing from your throat each time he hits your g-spot so perfectly. The knock-on effect sends him into an even more euphoric state, and before you know it, he’s groaning your name down your ear, and painting your walls white.

“Yes, Sammy…”

Your nails leave scratch marks all over his back from the sheer height of pleasure you’re experiencing, and that seems to be what sent him over the edge, his cum seeping into you as you milk his cock. He throbs inside you, his pelvis hitting you perfectly as he thrusts lazily while emptying himself. With one final press of his long, skilled thumb and digits over your sensitive nipple and a harsh bite to your pulse point just below your ear, the bundle of lust in your stomach becomes undone as you finish once again.

Before you’re fully recovered, he’s pulling out and leaving you empty as you lie together for a moment on opposite sides of the bed, no contact other than your pinky fingers linked and overlapping in between you. Except… despite the pleasure, you’re not satisfied. Not at all. And you know, in your heart, that this can’t happen again.

“Don’t tell anyone, please.”

“As fucking if,” you mumble.

“You ok?” he asks after a moment.

“Yes, just fine,” you snap, and roll off the bed, beginning to ferret around for your clothes.

“y/n, no…” Sam moves to grapple for you, “why are you leaving?”

“Because I’m done being treated like shit by you. Used as your fuck-toy when you’re too much of a pussy to deal with your girlfriend… I’m done, Sam.”

He’s up and off the bed, shucking his jeans on with great force that causes him to trip back onto the bed as you adjust your top and zip your skirt back up.

“y/n!”

“What!” you bellow right back at him.

He shuffles his feet on the carpet, and moves to speak, but his jaw just hangs open like a fish, nothing coming out.

“Yeah, I’m done here, Sam. Don’t booty-call me again.”

A weary voice from behind you calls out, “Sam?”

Shit.

This is bad. This is very bad. But what can you do? You’re the other woman, he’s the one choosing to commit adultery: why is that your problem? He can deal with his (clearly very angry) girlfriend, so livid she’s shaking, once you’re gone.

“Yeah. Your ‘don’t tell’ plan worked real good, Sammy. Karma’s a bitch,” you spit, spinning on my heels and waltzing out the door.

You mean it: you’re done. At least until he breaks up with her and undoubtedly calls back. You want him, there's no question about that, but you want him all to yourself: and that's a secret you won't tell.

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Tues 15 June ‘21

Venice MP filming is underway, romantic canalside walks and gondola ride are a GO, as seen in pap pics and many (many) videos from fans gathered on site! I’m sure they appreciated all the little sheer polo showing off Harry’s tits, who doesn’t love a good hiddies moment huh? GQ probably did too; they already wrote a whole article about the outfit Harry wore yesterday! But even they can’t say anything better about those shorts than that they look “presentable” LMAO. TAKE THAT corduroy shorts! What about those fans though? Well, they are certainly bringing us plenty of videos- Harry handing co-star David up out of a boat like a sweet gentleman, aww, Harry skipping about between shots, Harry with a lil purse, Harry just trying to live his life and like go eat food when not working, etc etc... maybe folks could take a few steps back? Looks like Harry is really getting hounded through the tiny Venetian streets and on set, by pretty large crowds, to the extent of disrupting filming, oh no. Harry signed a picture for a nearby school-- “stay outrageous”, again dating it (June ‘21) but possibly by the end of the day he was wishing people would not be quite so outrageous.

Meanwhile the antis stuck at home are frothing at the mouth trying to convince larries (or maybe themselves?) that we now ship David and Harry- uh sorry sweaty but having the ability to understand that holding hands for cameras does not have to mean that people are really fucking is actually a pretty major core component of the whole larrie thing?! But good luck with that! It makes sense that seeing Harry acting lovey dovey with someone that they know he isn’t actually sleeping with would throw them in a tizzy though, after all their whole identity is based on denying that’s a thing that’s possible... poor things, baby’s first cognitive dissonance! It can really make you question things huh, and that’s always rough.

But they’re not the only ones with things to say about Harry! Superstar of stage and screen Mandy Patinkin posted video of himself and his wife getting four minutes’ worth of lightning round pop culture trivia questions wrong, but he nails one of em- asked what a Harry song (WS) is about, he remains silent. Well done, that’s just what Harry would have said! And Selma Hayek told a story about Harry coming to her house where her pet owl (who Harry was enthralled with and wanted to hang out with him) regurgitated an owl pellet in his hair! LOL poor Harry; naturally she said he handled it very well and was very sweet. Yes, it’s possible Harry’s interactions with her were because she’s in Marvel’s Eternals; it’s also possible he was at her house because her husband is the head of the company that owns Gucci, or for some other reason entirely.

Liam’s Lonely Bug NFTs went on sale today!! Liam was excited and happy and all over the internet posting and chatting and watching it all happen. The auctions are still open for most of them so final news on that tomorrow! Today was just Liam being hype about it- “Fandom is working its magic thank you!” he said when his request to get LB trending got it up there worldwide in like half an hour, he said more interactive content will be added to the NFTs as time goes on, that Louis cooking was “very funny”, when asked to describe his NFT collection in one word he chose “liberating,” and his hair guy reposted comments Liam has been making in the discord talking about maybe going blond with a “hmmm”. Oooh? He did a long live talking about everything, patching in the other Lonely Bug creators and quite a few other NFT people (enough that at one point Liam jokes that there are enough of them to dress up as the band to satisfy commenters asking for 1D stuff). Anyway one of them compares this NFT to ‘the original Nirvana recordings’ hmmm I mean… that is another thing that is rare I guess yes, but that’s very specific and random sir? “I know for some of you this NFT world is slightly different than what you’re used to from me,” said Liam, “but your support so far has been amazing (as always!)”

And not only that- another new Liam song coming?! We haven’t even got the one yet! (or maybe this is the same one..?) Anyway, school pal S-X (Liam hyped his music a couple weeks ago) talked about him in an interview, saying "Liam is a good friend of mine and we've got stuff coming soon. I don't want to say too much as you know how those One Direction fans get [HEYYYY… oh wait yeah he’s totally right]- when I mention him I can't even open my Twitter. But we've got a song coming and it's a smash. It's sooner than you think and that's all I can say." OH RILLY?? INTERESTING! I was just eyeing him for the artist showcase Liam said he was gonna do on veeps but OKAY! He also said "We're both from Wolverhampton and I was in college with him at the same time, and going from that to global stardom at 17 is not normal for any person. To have toured the world, done stadium tours and everything, he is one of the most famous people in the world. So he will go through scrutiny from the media and whatever, but I can tell you he is one of the nicest people, one of the most genuine people I've ever met. He's a real good friend of mine."

And speaking of unexpected songs; another Zayn demo leak was posted! This time he’s singing You with Ellie Goulding; the song ended up being released by Troye Sivan.

And Anne Marie posted “rehearsals for #OURSONG live! I just love this song so much. I also miss your face @niallhoran” with a picture of them singing away; apparently she’s referring to the recording of the acoustic version which is out on Friday. Niall posted a picture of the Danish football player who collapsed during play the other day giving a thumbs up from the hospital; indeed it is very good to see that he’s all right.

[nhlandotherimagines]

Oh Brother- Nolan Patrick (ft. Travis Konecny)

Author’s Note: I’ve been working on this for ages, and I finally just said ‘screw it!’ and am posting it! I’d love any and all feed back, and please tell me if you find any mistakes I’m the worst at editing! Thank you in advance!

Summary: Baby Konecny, that’s all you’re known as now that you’ve moved in with your older brother Travis. You love your brother, but things get a little difficult after one night at a bar with his bestfriend Nolan. Okay, and maybe one night turned to more, but Travis can’t know.

Tagging a few people, so if for any reason you would like to a) not be tagged on this particular post for any reason or b) would not liked to be tagged on any of my posts please do not hesitate to tell me ☺️ @anastasiyaigorevnadobrodevskaya @titobeauvs @bigboigritty

Word Count: 8.4 K

WARNINGS: This is definitely ✨spicy✨ at times, 18+ (sexual themes), cursing, alcohol, ANGST, anxiety, lying about/hiding a relationship, hospitals, some cute moments as well of course. (Please let me know if you find anything else in here that should be mentioned here thank you)

_______________

“Hey Y/n/n, you coming out with us after the game tonight?” Your brother Travis yelled to you from the kitchen of your shared apartment. You had just moved in with him a few months ago to start school in Philly, so you hadn’t gotten out much.

“You really think you’re okay with your baby sister going out with you tonight TK?” You added giggling to yourself as you pulled on your Flyers jersey. “Well you need to get out and see the world kid!”

“Call me kid again and I will set Nolan on you during warm ups.” You smirk joining him in the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

Travis’ face twists a little, but you choose to ignore it. “Fine! I’ll go.” You add shoving his shoulder lightly. He smiles at you, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. You don’t press him on it though as you both get ready to head to the arena.

“Trav and Nolan seem off, do you know what’s up with them?” You hadn’t really noticed, but now that Travis’ girlfriend Karly was pointing it out you could totally see it.

“I don’t know, but when I mentioned sticking Nolan on him earlier for calling me a kid, Travis did get a little weird. I hope they are okay.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, you know how Trav can be at times!” Karly smiled reassuringly. The two of you continued to talk throughout the game, and soon enough you were waiting together outside the dressing room. Thankfully Travis and Nolan came out of the dressing room together both laughing which was a good sign.

“Hey babe!” Travis smiles wrapping his arms around Karly lifting her off the ground. You roll your eyes playfully and smile up at Nolan. He winks down at you, and your face heats up slightly.

“What’s up baby Konecny?” Nolan smirks down at you, resting his elbow on your head to emphasize the height difference. “Nolan I swear to god you’ve gotta stop calling me that! Just because I’m TK’s sister doesn’t mean I enjoy you pointing it out.” You scold, trying to ignore the butterflies erupting in your stomach.

“Oh my bad let me try that again.” He clears his throat dramatically and drops his arm so it’s around your shoulder, “What’s up baby?” His voice is deep, and you nearly choke at the pet name. You open your mouth, and close it immediately. Unable to form any coherent sentences. Thankfully Travis finally turns to you, a frown on his face as his gaze comes to Nolan’s arm still around your shoulder.

“Alright then, are we ready to go?” He asks awkwardly. You and Karly share a look, and Nolan’s arm falls from your shoulder. You try not to think about it, but you already miss the contact and feel cold as he steps away from you. “Let’s go!” Karly smiles, and starts dragging you out to the parking lot by the wrist. She is practically running, and yells to the boys that you are both going to the bathroom before you leave. This seems odd because you had gone not even a half hour ago as you both waited for the boys.

“Do you seriously have to pee again? You didn’t even drink that m-“ You started to question but Karly quickly cut you off. “NOLAN IS INTO YOU!”

“Woah! What!? Karly what are you talking about?” Your heart rate sped up and your face felt like it was on fire.

“That’s what is wrong with Travis. He is pissed off that his best friend is into his little sister! I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.” She is mostly just rambling on to herself and you feel sick. “He’s not into me Karly, he’s just nice to me because I’m TK’s baby sister.”

She stops and stares at you for a moment before her smirk grows even wider. “Oh. My. God. You’re into him too!”

“Nooo! No. No. No. Karly I am not, don’t even say that.”

“Why not?”

“Travis would kill me if he found out that I like Nolan!” After the words spilled past your lips followed by a moment of silence, your eyes nearly popped out of your head. “Karly I didn’t mean-“

“OH MY GOD! This is amazing!”

“SHHHH! What if they hear us!?”

———

After a few moments to collect yourselves, you head out to the car. As you open the passenger door of Travis’ car Karly grabs your arm. “Do you think I could sit in the front with Trav?” You know exactly what she is doing. “But I always sit shot gun...” you whine.

“Y/n, seriously just get in the back it’s a five minute drive back home.” Travis sighs out, rolling his eyes at your dramatics. You groan inwardly and climb into the back with Nolan.

“So Patty are you coming over to pregame with us?” Travis asks watching Nolan in the rear view mirror as he starts the car.

“What you meant to say I think is ‘Hey Patty will you come over and babysit y/n/n so Karly and I can fornicate before we go out?’ and the answer is yes I can, but I’m drinking your liquor and you better keep it down this time.” Nolan smirks at you once again and you quickly look down at your hands a smile tugging at your lips.“Yeah I’m with Patty here, I don’t need to hear that again!” You and Nolan laugh together in the backseat as the two in the front seat do their best to deny the accusations.

——

About an hour later, you are stepping out of your room dressed in dark jeans, a band tee, and a leather jacket. Your hair is curled a little, and your makeup all done. “You clean up nice baby Konecny” Nolan smiles at you from his spot on the couch as he tosses you a can of beer.

“Am I gonna be stuck living in your boyfriends shadow forever Patty?” You giggle cracking the beer and falling on to the couch beside him.“Jealous?” He grins, leaning back and stretching his arm across the back of the couch just behind your head.

“Not in the slightest.” As you both sit in a comfortable silence, you can hear music starting to play down the hall and you groan loudly and check the time on your phone. “They do this every time!”

“Oh don’t be such a baby y/n, they’re in love.” Nolan teases. “Yeah well they will still be in love tonight when I’m passed out drunk and can’t hear them.” You grumble playing with the hem of your shirt, and take another swig of beer.

“Sounds to me like someone needs to get laid” You immediately spit out the beer in your mouth choking on it. “Point proven.” He chuckles

“Hey! I get laid plenty thank you very much!” You shoot back at him after catching your breath. “Oh yeah? Must be when we are at the rink then, because last I checked TK hasn’t seen a single guy step foot in this apartment. And I know you don’t go out.”

“Why do you care?” You spit at him, becoming angry because you know he’s right. With that Nolan leans closer to you, and you can feel his breath on your neck. Subconsciously you tilt your head revealing more of your neck to him. You can practically hear the smirk in his voice as he whispers, “Gotta keep an eye on my competition.”

“What the-“ You don’t even have a chance to process the words when Travis’ voice makes you jump.

“Travis! Ready to go?” You practically shout, the nervousness pouring off you. Already on your feet walking towards the door.

“Wow TK that was fast. Not sure if I should be congratulating you or apologizing Karly.” Nolan chirps. You can feel the tension in the room, but no one acknowledges it. So soon enough you’re all packed in an Uber. Travis and Nolan both have their heads stuck in their phones, and Karly’s hands are all over Travis. It’s all really uncomfortable for you, so you’re the first out when the car pulls up to the bar.

Ignoring the entire group you make your way inside and to the bar, trying your best to flag down a bartender. “Want a hand short stuff?” You feel your breath catch in your throat as Nolan’s hand falls to the small of your back when he slides into the spot next to you. You just nod in response, as Nolan orders you a drink after quickly catching the attention of the bartender. He smiles down at you, and his hand slides lower so it is now resting dangerously close to the top of your ass.

“You look really good tonight Y/n.” You blush and mutter out a weak thank you, “You don’t look too bad yourself Patty.” Before either of you can say anything else your drinks are placed in front of you. Grabbing them quickly, you made your way to the booth Travis and Karly had claimed for you all.

“Wanna dance Y/n!?” Karly asked hopefully, a wide grin on her face. You chug about half your beverage, and take her hand as she drags you to the dance floor.

You and Karly dance for awhile together and you try and forget about the boys entirely. You’ve been mostly successful in that until you feel two big hands on your waist and a body dancing against you. You’re having too much fun to really care about the stranger dancing with you, until Karly speaks up about it. “Y/n, Nolan hasn’t taken his eyes off you all night! I think he’s jealous!” She smirks wiggling her eyebrows.

“You’ve been making eyes at my brother all night, how would you even know? Besides he’s not jealous.” You throw back, ignoring the pit forming in your stomach. You really wished Nolan felt that way about you, but he doesn’t. He couldn’t. You’re just baby Konecny. A frown creeps it’s way onto your face the farther in your thoughts you get. You’re so lost in thought, that you don’t even notice Karly slip away to find TK. It’s not until you feel the warm hands leave your hips, that you manage to tune back into your surroundings.

“I think you are done here man, go find someone else to bother.” Nolan is now standing between you and the guy you’d been dancing with. If you had been able to stop staring at Nolan, you might have even noticed how attractive your dance partner had truly been. “Nolan-“ You try and butt in to tell him it’s okay.

“Listen dude I didn’t know she was taken I’m sorry!” The mans hands go up in defence as he smiles apologetically at you. “Yeah well she is, so you can go now”

Your heart stops at his words. You knew it was just him playing the protective big brother roll, and hell TK probably sent him to do it. That doesn’t mean you didn’t feel things when he said it. “Okay I don’t know why TK told you to come over here, but I am quite capable of taking care of myself!” You scold him crossing your arms. You push past him bumping his arm as you head towards the table again. You don’t manage to get far though before Nolan’s hand is wrapped around your bicep. “He didn’t.”

You turn around to face him, and are taken aback by how close he is. The look in his eyes indecipherable. “What?” You manage to croak out, unable to comprehend what’s happening because you’re so nervous.

“TK didn’t send me over here. In fact Karly and TK left 5 minutes ago, but how would you know right? You were too busy basically having sex with that guy on the dance floor!” His words are sharp and his grip on your arm tightens slightly.

“I was not! And even if I was Patty, what’s it to you? Maybe I’d like to have a guy take me home for once, maybe I’m sick of having to go home and listen to my brother have sex with his girlfriend!” You’re yelling now, but as Nolan’s eyes darken you get nervous. “You’re not my babysitter...” you mumble dropping your eyes to stare at your feet. “I know I’m not your babysitter Y/n, but I can’t let you go home with strangers.”

“Why not? I’m an adult!” You’re sure you sound like a whining child at this point, which is not helping your argument. Nolan groans. He lets go of your arm and runs his hands over his face and stares up at the ceiling. “Because. Because I want to take you home. Okay?”

“N-Nolan what are you talking about?” Your heart is pounding in your ears, and your head is spinning.

“Y/n, I’m sorry if this is weird, but god I think you’re amazing and there is nothing I want to do more than be with you tonight. I want to be the one you dance with like that.” He lets out a shaky breath, before finishing, “And fuck Y/n/n, I want to take you home with me.” Before you can even comprehend what all of it means you’re stepping into him. You run your hands up his torso and down his arms slowly. He’s eyes are watching your every move, as you spin around so your back as facing him. Grabbing his wrists you set his hands on your hips, smiling over your shoulder at him. “Then shut up and dance with me Patty.” Nolan smirks, and pulls your body flush against him. You move your hips against his, biting your lip hard as you feel his bulge rub against you. His lips attach to the base of your neck, leaving sloppy kisses in a trail to your ear. “Y/n-“ he whispers in your ear, “let me take you home.” It’s a desperate plea, but the way he pulls your earlobe between his teeth as he pulls away makes you rub your thighs together.

“Nolan-“ you practically moan his name, “This is a bad idea.” With that he grips your hips, spins you around, and crashes his lips to yours. He is trying to communicate how it’s not a bad idea, or if it is, that it’s worth it. And as you melt into him, becoming more needy, you know he’s right. You barely make your way out of the bar and into the Uber before Nolan’s hands are roaming your body more freely. His lips are searching yours, as his hand creeps up under your tshirt. He moans against your lips when his fingers reach the lace of the bralette you were wearing. You arch your back in anticipation of his hands finally palming at your breasts, but you groan in frustration as he pulls away from you entirely. “Someone is needy!” He chuckles, “we are here.” He winks at you paying the driver and practically drags you out of the car into his building.

When you both finally reach his apartment he unlocks the door letting you inside. As you stand in his living room you start to feel self conscious. “Baby come here.” Nolan’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts as you follow it into the kitchen. The pet name fuelling the fire that had been growing in you all evening.

Before you turn the corner into the kitchen, you pull your shirt over your head and throwing it to the floor. There is no going back now. “Fuck.”

“Are you just going to stare at me all night Patty, or are you going to fuck me? Because if not I’m just going to do it myself.” You smirk at him, running your hands down your sides stopping at the waste of your jeans.

“Jesus Christ! I was ready to bend you over this counter, but I think watching you touch yourself sounds pretty fucking hot.” He smirks and pats the counter looking at you expectantly.

———

Your evening started in Nolan’s kitchen, and eventually you found your way to his bedroom. The chemistry between you two, was undeniable. Nothing prepared you though, for the feeling of waking up in his arms. You were facing him, his face inches from yours. His breathing was shallow, and his cheeks their usual shade of pink. He was beautiful. “Anyone ever told you it’s rude to stare?” His voice was groggy and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t sexy as all hell.

“I wasn’t-“ you began your protest, but were cut off by your phone ringing loudly from the nightstand.As you roll over to grab it, Nolan groans in protest. Your stomach drops when you see the name flashing across the screen. “Oh fuck!” Nolan’s eyes are wide when you turn back to him, terror evident on your face. “It’s Travis.”

“Hey Trav, what’s up?” You answer, hoping he doesn’t pick up on how unsteady your voice is.

“Where are you? Are you okay? I tried getting Nolan on the phone to see what happened last night.” His voice is laced with worry, and guilt washes over you. “I’m okay, I promise.” You’re practically whispering into the phone. Nolan’s eyes burning into you with his hand covering his mouth in shock, isn’t helping your nerves.

“Holy shit, y/n, did you go home with someone!?” You can hear the smirk in his voice. “Umm- uh- yeah I guess I did?”

“Atta girl! Do you want me to come get you?” He asks, and you nearly throw up at the thought.

“NO!” You cringe outwardly at how fast and loudly you protested. “I’ve already ordered the Uber, I’ll be home soon!” With that you quickly said your goodbyes and hung up. Immediately getting out of bed, and searching around for your clothes. You can feel Nolan’s eyes on you.

“You could just stay awhile you know.” His voice is so soft it almost doesn’t sound like him. “Right!” You laugh humourlessly, “and would you like to explain to my brother that it was actually you I slept with last night?” As you look over at him for the first time since you left the bed, all the air is sucked from your lungs. The sheets draped around his waist, an arm resting behind his head, his hair a mess. He looks so perfect, but his face twists at your words and the look now present in his eyes is one you can’t place.

“The kitchen.” He responds lazily. Your brows furrow in confusion. “Your clothes. They are in the kitchen.” He adds, but his eyes don’t meet yours. Your mind wanders to last night in the kitchen, and you can’t help the smirk that comes to your face. Walking slowly back over to Nolan, your place a hand on his cheek. He leans into it, and your heart melts as his gaze finally meets yours.

“I had a good time last night. We should do it again sometime.” You wink at him and he chuckles lightly in response. “We just can’t let my brother know we are fooling around. He’d kill us!”

“Sure. Yeah.” He responds shaking his head and kissing you lightly. “Don’t tell your brother.”

———

“Took you long enough!” The words were out of his mouth before you even closed the door.

“Jesus Trav, I’m an adult I shouldn’t have to let you know exactly where I am and when I’ll be home!” You glare at him, as you kick off your shoes and basically fall onto the couch. He laughs at you as you let out a loud groan. “Long night?”

“You have no idea!”

“Okay ew gross!” He whines covering his ears.

“You asked! Besides I’m sure your night was just as eventful!” You laugh as he gives you the finger, walking down the hall.

———

Over the course of the next couple months you found yourself falling into bed with Nolan more than you’d care to admit. You also wouldn’t admit how much you enjoyed spending time with him. He was always so sweet to you, and you wanted more than the whole “friends with benefits” arrangement, but you knew you couldn’t have it, even if it was something Nolan wanted too. Which it wasn’t. The only part you really hated about this whole thing, was hiding it from Travis.

“Nolan needs a date to the Christmas charity dinner.” Travis announces as he falls down on the couch between you and Karly. He had just gotten back from practice, so when that was the first thing out of his mouth you and Karly both looked at him in confusion. “You should go with him Y/n, he says his new girlfriend is too shy to go. So you should go with him, because it wouldn’t be weird y’know?” He states matter-of-fact-ly.

“Babe, why would going with Y/n be any less weird than going with anyone else?” Karly speaks up before you can, because your mind is running a million miles a minute. Did Nolan have a girlfriend? He couldn’t. Right?

“Because, it’s not like there would be anything happening between them. It’d give his girlfriend peace of mind.” He shrugs getting up from the couch, and walking into the kitchen. Karly sends you a sad look, and you feel sick.

Travis really had no clue what was going on, and you should be trying to keep it that way. You couldn’t help the question falling past your lips though, as he came back in the living room with a glass of water. “So who is this girlfriend whose job I’m expected to take for the evening?” You groan internally at how jealous that sounded.

“Dunno,” Travis shrugs, “he gets pretty flustered any time someone asks about her. Doesn’t want us to know I guess. The only reason we even found out about her in the first place was because Patty kept showing up to the rink covered head to toe in hickies and scratch marks.”

“Sounds to me like this girl is just a hookup Trav.” Karly adds and smiles at you. She is obviously trying to make you feel better about the fact the guy you like is with another girl. She doesn’t know however how much that comment hurt. It’s you, you’re the hookup. Travis shrugs once again and takes a sip of water, turning to watch whatever bad reality show Karly had put on to watch. You tried to watch too, but the tears that stung at your eyes threatening to fall, forced you to get up quietly and slip out the front door.

Not sure what to do next, you pulled out your phone pressing Nolan’s contact. “Hey Y/n, what’s up?” He mumbled as he answered your call. “Hi- can I uh” you hesitate for a moment as the first tear slips down your face, “can I come over?”

“Uhhh I’m kind of busy at the moment.” Your stomach drops at his response, and the tears fall faster as you try and hold back a sob.

“What did you need?” He speaks again when you don’t respond.

“Oh- Travis said you needed a date to the charity dinner, a-and I was just thinking we could talk about it.” You say, voice breaking slightly. “It was stupid anyway, never mind.” You cover your mouth quickly to muffle the sob you’ve been suppressing. “Y/n, are you okay?” You can hear the concern in his voice, he knows you’re crying now. You can’t form any words, so you shake your head even though he can’t see you. You let yourself cry now, no longer fighting it as you slump against your steering wheel.

“Where are you? I’m coming to get you.” You can hear him pulling on his shoes and grabbing his keys. “I-I’m in my car.” You manage to get out in between sobs, desperately trying to stop crying. You want to object, and tell him you’re fine, but you can’t. You need to see him.

“You stay right there, you’re too upset to be driving. I’ll be there soon. Okay?” You hear him get into his car closing the door. You nod in response, and even though he can’t see you he seems to know. You expected him to hang up, but he doesn’t. Instead Nolan puts you on speaker phone, but he doesn’t say much. Instead you hear him muttering to himself about stupid drivers and occasionally telling you he’s almost there.

You must have spaced out, completely focused on the anxiety driven sobs wracking through your body, because you don’t notice when he hangs up. Moments later your car door is opened, and a hand is placed gently on your thigh. “Y/n.” His voice is so quiet you almost don’t hear it, “what’s wrong?” Embarrassment floods you immediately. You groan throwing your head back against the headrest, wiping at your face in frustration. You try once again to tell him you’re okay, but your voice is gone. You just shake your head and and try to stop the tears.

“Look at me please.” His voice is both firm and pleading. You drop your gaze to wear he is knelt down next to your car. His thumb is rubbing soothing circles on your thigh, and his eyes are full of confusion. The tears that had slowed mostly to a stop, sting your eyes again. You want to jump into his arms, and just stay there while he holds you. You know it’s not an option, so instead you let out a little whimper tears falling again. “I’m sorry.” Your voice is barely above a whisper and cracks as you say it, but you manage to muster out the apology.

“No. No, don’t be sorry. Hey it’s okay!” He wipes the tears from your cheek with his free hand, but they are immediately replaced with new ones. “I’m going to call TK, he will know what to do.”

“No!” You practically yell at him in protest. “P-please don’t.”

“Okay.” He looks at you, concern once again written all over his face. “What do you need?”

“You.” You regret the honest answer as soon as it slips past your lips, but decide to keep going anyway. “Fuck, Nolan I’m sorry I just- I’m really confused, and I just. Im sick of being Travis’ little sister. I’m sick of being baby Konecny and when I’m with you, I feel like I’m me. Like I’m just y/n. That’s all I want, but I feel guilty about it. And I know that the boys are giving you a hard time about “your girlfriend” so I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m holding you back, and I’m sorry I’m jeopardizing your friendship with Travis. We can stop now.” Nolan says nothing. Instead, he reaches across your lap and unbuckled your seatbelt. He gently frees your arm from it and then pulls you into his chest, and rubs your back. You step out of the car and wrap your arms around his waist as tight as you can, your legs feeling like jelly beneath you. You both stay there for a moment, as you cry against his chest.

“You’re upset. Why don’t you come stay at my place for the weekend and have a little break from TK?” Nolan mumbles into your hair, placing a soft kiss to the top of your head. You push back from him, and look into his eyes. You were going to yell at him, tell him this was only going to make things worse, but maybe he was right. Some time away from TK and Karly would be good. “What do I tell him?”

Nolan shrugs, “That you’re staying at a friend’s place?”

“Okay.” You sigh, and Nolan smiles at you. The smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but it still makes you feel a bit better. Nolan let’s go of you and opens his passenger door motioning for you to get in. You do, and he closes it gently. He closes and locks your car as well before hopping in the driver’s seat.

You decide to text TK.

Y/N: I’m going to be staying at a friend’s place for the weekend. See you Monday?

TK: Sure! Everything okay?

Y/N: Yeah! Don’t have too much fun with the apartment all to yourself 😛

“It’s going to be alright you know? You’re not holding me back from anything.” Nolan speaks leaning over and giving your knee a reassuring squeeze. And maybe, it will be.

________________

You had spent the rest of the afternoon with Nolan between your legs. Nothing you hadn’t done before, but there was so much more emotion behind it, that it scared you.

As you laid in Nolan’s bed after your afternoon activities, his hand ran gently up and down your back. Tracing patterns across his chest, you let out a content sigh. You opened your mouth to tell Nolan how you felt, to ask him what this was to him, but before the words could even form on your tongue a knock on the front door caused both you and Nolan to jump up.

“Shit.” Nolan grumbled pulling a pair of shorts on, “I’ll be right back.” You frowned in response and got out of bed pulling on a pair of Nolan’s shorts and one of his hoodies. Little did you know, that just down the hall your worst nightmare was unfolding.

“Travis! What are you doing here?” Nolan said just loud enough for you to hear, and your body froze in fear.

“Hey Patty have you heard from Y/n at all? I’m a little worried about her. Wait a second is your girlfriend here!?” You could hear the excitement in Travis’s voice, when he realized he might finally get to meet the mystery lady.

“Um- yeah, now isn’t really the best time TK.” Nolan mumbled and you can practically hear his cheeks heating up, from your spot in the hallway just out of view. Your hands were shaking as you lean against the wall, trying to control your breathing.

“Oh shit! Did I interrupt something?! Dude you shoulda just told me! I’ll just call Y/n if you haven’t heard from her.” At that your heart stops. Where is your phone? You set it down when you got there.

“Okay, see you later TK!” Nolan basically shouts, trying to close the door you assume. Relief begins to wash over you, and you feel like you can breath again.

However, the relief leaves just as fast as it came, when you hear your phone ringing. Stomach dropping, as the memory of setting your phone on the table by the front door comes to mind.

“Nolan.. why the hell is Y/n’s phone in your apartment?” You can hear the anger in your brother’s voice. “Teeks I can explain” Nolan’s voice is weak, and your heart breaks a little despite its rapid beating in your chest.

“Great idea Patty! Please explain to me why you didn’t bother telling me my sister was your secret girlfriend!” He’s fuming and you don’t know if you should rush to Nolan’s aid or climb out the fire escape. “She’s not actually my girlfriend...”

Ouch.

“Okay so you’re telling me you’re just fucking my baby sister!? I’m going to fucking kill you”

“Travis stop!” You surprise yourself as your running to put yourself between the two best friends. “Please don’t.” You whimper the last part. Tears streaming down your cheeks, as you use your arms to push him back trying to keep the distance between him and Nolan.

“I told you she was off limits! I told the whole damn team that they weren’t allowed to mess with her. So what? You just thought you’d fuck your best friend’s sister like some cheap whore when you could have any girl in Philly!?” Your face twists at that. You know that Travis didn’t say it to hurt you, but you couldn’t help feeling sting of hurt mixed with jealousy you wish you didn’t feel.

“I-it’s not like that” Nolan mumbles out. Your heart crumbles at his limited response. “Travis, take me home.” You plead, trying not to let more tears fall.

“Y/n- don’t-“ Nolan reaches out for you, but Travis shoves him. Hard.

“Travis! Please!” With that, you lose it. Hands shaking, sobs escaping you relentlessly, and you can’t catch your breath. Both guys stop, eyes snapping to you. Travis wraps his arms around you, affectively keeping you upright.

You don’t hear anything else, or see anything else. Everything stops.

_____________

Your eyes flutter open, and you’re met with a white ceiling. Head aching nearly as much as your chest and you groan. “Y/n/n! You’re awake!” It’s Karly’s voice that startles you, “are you okay?”

You don’t know where you are, or what happened really, but you can only manage to ask two questions. “Where is Travis? Is Nolan okay?”

“Y/n-“ you can hear the pity in her voice. “Oh god!” You start crying again, “this is all my fault!”

Karly speaks softly to you, telling you everything is fine. Telling you Travis is coming, and that Nolan will be fine. You hardly listen. You just allow yourself to cry until you fall asleep.

___________

“I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. You knew it was wrong, and I told you it would be fine. I’m such an idiot.” You listened to his voice as he mumbled, hand gripping yours as tight as he could without hurting you. Keeping your eyes closed, you fight back the tears. It hurt so bad, everything hurt. You couldn’t face him, you were embarrassed, and heartbroken. “Nolan, I think you should go.” Travis’ voice makes you wince inwardly.

“Teeks, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt her, or you. Tell me she’s gonna be okay.” Nolan’s voice breaks and he lets go of your hand.

“The doctor said she is okay, she needs some rest. She is just stressed Nolan.” Travis sounds just as defeated as Nolan’s, “I’ll text you if anything changes I promise.” You could hear Nolan get up and leave, and honestly, your heart went with him. When the realization hit you, you’re shooting up in the bed eyes wide gasping for breath.

“Y/n/n-“ Travis starts, as he rushes to your side.

“I- I’m sorry Travis. I’m so sorry! God I’m so so stupid.” You start rambling, chest heaving, breathing shallow.

“Slow down! Just relax please, you’re okay. It’s okay.” Travis is squeezing your hand now, concern for you evident in his features.

“I ruined everything. He’s your best friend, and I ruined it...”

“Nolan and I will be fine. This is between him and I, not you. Don’t blame yourself ple-“

“I love him!” Your sudden outburst shocks you just as much as it shocks Travis. The silence that follows is deafening. You try to think of something to say, anything to make this less awkward. Before you or Travis can speak though, someone at the door clears their throat. Your eyes snap to the source, and your stomach drops to the floor.

“I- uh I left my keys” Nolan mumbles, scratching at the back of his neck. His cheeks are red, and his left eye is purple and swollen. Travis sighs and mumbles something about giving you a minute, before he gets up and leaves the room. Not without bumping a little to hard into Nolan’s shoulder. More awkward silence follows, and this time you manage to find words first. “Jesus Nols your eye, are you okay?”

“It’s nothing.” He mumbles.

“It’s not though! I’m sorry, about all of it. I shouldn’t have gone home with you, I shouldn’t have called you, I shouldn’t have kept it from TK, and I shouldn’t have said that I lo-“ you stop unable to say it again, “Well you heard. You didn’t need this drama.”

“So you regret it?” His entire body tenses.

“You don’t?” You laugh out humourlessly

“Lying to my best friend? Yes. Taking you home? Being the person you call when you’re upset? Falling in love with you? I’ll never regret any of that. I’m sorry I hurt you, I’ll leave you alone now.” He says the last line with so much hurt it kills you. He snatches his keys off the table by your bed and turns to leave, but you grab his wrist. “You don’t mean that. You don’t get to say that and leave me.”

“What do you want me to do?” He raises his voice. You’ve never seen him like this. “I can’t stay. You wanted to leave my place last night. I don’t see what the problem is.”

“I didn’t want to leave Nolan I wanted you to fight for me, for us! I wanted to hear you tell my brother that you wanted me as much as I wanted you. I know you don’t though, and that’s alright. But you do not get to say you fell in love with me, and walk out of here like nothing happened. You don’t get to fuck with me like that!” Tears fall slowly down your face, and you let them. Sure you probably looked like a hot mess, but you didn’t care anymore.

“I thought this was just sex for you. I didn’t think you wanted anything more than a distraction from your brother’s life. I tried to get you to stay with me that first morning. I tried to show you how much I wanted you in my life yesterday. Y/n I drove like a bat out of hell from the rink to pick you up because you were hurting. I was at the rink talking to Giroux, trying to figure out how the hell I was supposed to ask Travis for his permission to date you. Actually date you. I’m in love with your stubbornness. I’m in love with your aversion to being called baby Konecny. I’m in love with how you look in my jersey even though you refuse to wear it because ‘why wear mine when you could wear one with your last name’. I’m in love with your laugh and your smile. I’m head over heels for you baby, and I can’t stay here. I can’t stand seeing you in that bed knowing it’s my fault you’re even there, knowing that when you leave you’re going home with Travis and not with me. I can’t stand around and watch you hurting, only to make it last longer. I’m sorry.” His whole body seems to deflate as he adjusts the keys in his hand.

“Nolan I didnt know.”

“Yeah well...” he mumbles, and refuses to look at you. With that you let go of his hand and he’s gone.

________________

“Well Miss Konecny you should be good to go. Just take it easy for the next couple weeks alright?” You were hardly listening to the doctor, but really he was more talking to Travis than you. After signing discharge papers, Travis helped you out to his car. He stops opens your door for you, and you mumble a thank you. You’re so caught up in your own thoughts, you don’t

“Trav?” You say, after awhile of driving. “Yeah?” He asks, taking another turn you’re sure is just taking you away from your shared apartment. “Where are we going?”

Pulling over and parking the car, Travis looks over at you guilt written all over his face. You look out the window, taking in your surroundings for a moment before it clicks. You’re in front of Nolan’s building. “Travis please no...”

“Y/n/n listen. I’ve never in my life heard Nolan talk about anything too real. When he left the hospital, he stopped me in the hallway. He apologized for hurting me, and you. But you know what else he told me? He told me he wouldn’t take it back. He said that if his options were to have you for those few months again or to take it all back and have it never happen he’d hurt me again. He told me he loved you, and that he still does. He said he’s not sorry for loving you, but he’s sorry he didn’t do it right. Then I called Claude. He told me about Nolan just about in tears trying to figure out how to make it work without hurting his friendship with me, but mostly about preserving our relationship. He was worried about what would happen between me and you. He is so into you, and obviously you are into him. So into him, and so worried about it you landed yourself in the hospital. I was the issue here, so now I’m going to fix it.” He pats your knee soothingly. “Please let me.” You can only nod, and pull yourself out of Travis’ car. He drapes an arm over your shoulder and pulls you into his side.

“You hit him didn’t you?” You ask quietly in the elevator ride up to Nolan’s floor. “I did. I thought he was using you. I was so upset. He didn’t fight back, he wouldn’t even defend himself. I’m such an asshat.” He admits

You nod in response, and hug him as tight as you can. “That’s my big brother, the asshat. Thank you for always looking out for me, but you really shouldn’t have hit him.” He whispers an apology into your hair as the elevator doors open. “Now let’s go get your man! Ew no, I’m not calling him that ever again.”

You laugh at that. Travis smiles at you as he knocks on Nolan’s door. You wait patiently, but nothing happens. The door never opens. Travis knocks again. Nothing. Your heart feels like it’s breaking all over again. Travis continues knocking. He even tries calling Nolan. Nothing.

You reach out and grab his wrist to stop his assault on Nolan’s door. “Trav. It’s over, it’s okay. He doesn’t want this.” Before he can say anything, his phone rings. Both of your eyes snapping to it hopefully. You deflate as you see Karlys name flashing across his screen. You sigh and slide down the wall beside Nolan’s door, as Travis answers.

“Hey babe. Well I decided to take Y/n to Nolan’s apartment to try and fix this, but he is refusing to answer his door or his phone.” You groan a little dropping your face into your hands. You feel pathetic. “Are you kidding me right now!” Travis’ last line comes out much louder than the others, and you jump a little. Looking up at him you see an expression you can’t quite read. “Stay there! We are on our way!”

You’re pretty sure he doesn’t even wait for Karlys response before hanging up. “Trav? What’s wrong? Is Karly okay?”

“Karly is fine, but we have to go.” With that he’s grabbing your hands and pulling you off the floor and out of the building. Foregoing the elevator, and instead rushing down the stairs like a mad man.

“Travis what is going on!” You’re frustrated and he’s not responding to any of your questions, as he jumps into his car. You follow suit, grumbling under your breath. The drive isn’t that long, and you spend most of it wondering why Nolan wouldn’t answer the door. How were you supposed to go on seeing him all the time again? He wants nothing to do with you right?

Your mind is still spinning when Travis pulls into his parking spot. Karly is already waiting outside.

“Listen Y/n/n, you’re going to be okay. If things with Nolan were meant to be they will be. Karly and I have to go, but we will be back later okay? Call me if you need anything.” Travis’ voice is soft, but hurried as he leans over and opens your door for you. The confusion is clear on your face as you get out of the passenger seat. Karly sends you a quick apology before sliding into your spot.

And then they were gone. Before you could even ask where they were going, they were gone. You’d never felt more alone in your entire life. The one person you wanted to see wants nothing to do with you, and your support system just up and left you.

As you make your way slowly up the stairs to the apartment, tears fall for what feels like the millionth time in the last 48 hours. Your heart was so unbelievably broken, and you couldn’t even starts to think about how to put it back together. As you finally made it to the door, you unlock it and let yourself in. As you close it, you fall back against it small sobs escaping you into the quiet apartment.

“Y/n?” Your eyes snap up, heart beating a million miles an hour.

“Nolan? What are you doing here?” There he was standing in front of you, dressed up and holding a bouquet of your favourite flowers.

“Well- I uh came to apologize. I’ve been here since Travis text me to say you were leaving the hospital. What took you guys so long?” He chuckles nervously, but makes no effort to move closer.

“We went to your apartment. Nolan I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. God I was so stupid, I don’t know how to make this better.” You’re shaking now, overwhelmed by emotion.

Nolan sees you struggling, and quickly closes the distance between you both. Dropping the flowers along the way his hands find your hips to hold you up. “The past is in the past babe. We can’t change it.” You deflate at his words, fresh tears springing to your eyes.

“But,” he adds, placing a finger under your chin lifting it up so you’re looking at him. “We can start again, and do it the right way. I don’t wanna hide you.” His eyes slip from yours to your lips. Your heart skips a beat, as he leans into you pressing his lips to yours in a kiss like none you’ve shared before. This kiss is not driven by lust, it’s all love. It’s slow and steady, as he pulls you closer to him. You stay like that awhile, both to afraid to stop. Nolan pulls away first though, so you can both catch your breath.

You smile up at him, reaching up to gently touch the stitches above his left eye. You frown a little, as he flinches but doesn’t stop you. “It’s not as bad as it looks.” Nolan mumbles, cheeks heating slightly.

“Really? Because I was just about to say it looks kinda hot.” You smirk up at him.

His fingers flex on your hips, eyes going a little darker. “You’re gonna be the death of me Konecny.” His voice is deep and it sets your whole body on fire.

“Stop talking and kiss me already Nols” With that Nolan’s lips are on yours, and his hands are on your thighs lifting you off the ground with ease. You wrap your legs around his waist as you pins you to the wall. A moan escapes your lips as your hands find his hair, tugging it lightly. The kiss grows needier by the second, and you’re getting impatient. As you push your hips into his to get some friction, Nolan pulls away.

“We should slow down.” Nolan sighs, as he sets you back down. “Why?” You pout, gripping his shirt and trying to pull him back into you.

“Because, I want to do this the right way. Let me take you out first before I fuck you in your brothers apartment” he chuckles.

“We’ve had sex before Nolan. Besides,” you say, running your hands up his torso to the back of his neck. Tugging on the hair a little before you continue. “Wouldn’t fucking his baby sister all over his apartment be a great way to get pay back after he punched you in the face.”

“Y/n. I’d rather not have my best friend kill me before I even get a chance to show you off. He could walk through that door at any second.” Nolan groans glancing over your shoulder to the door.

“You’re right he could.” You smirk as you start kissing his neck.

“Babe-“ he warns, but it lacks sincerity and you take that as a win. “Can it Patrick. Let me have my fun!” You wink, sliding down to your knees.

And just like that, he was at your mercy. He was a total mess above you, hands gripping your hair tightly as you took him in your mouth.

The fact Karly and Travis could walk through the door at any moment to see the two of you. Nolan with his head thrown back, pants at his ankles, and you, hands gripping his thighs tightly and tears forming in your eyes. It had your senses heightened. On edge already, your pussy clenching on nothing.

When Nolan came, his name left your lips followed by many profanities as you swallowed his cum. You smirk up at him, and trace your finger over his tattoo lazily. “Worth it?”

“Fuck, so worth it princess.” He groans pulling you to your feet attaching his lips to your neck.

Nolan pulls away after a moment and you whimper slightly at the loss. He chuckles as he pulls his pants up and you groan in response. “Sorry baby, but standing just inside the door with my pants around my ankles is not a good look.”

“I liked it” you pout, “your legs are nice.”

“Oh yeah?” He quirks an eyebrow at you, a smug grin growing on his face. You nod, cheeks heating up slightly. “Especially your thighs.” You wink.

Nolan throws his head back and laughs pulling you into his chest. “You’re amazing you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.” You wink up at him. His grip tightens on your waist, and his smile grows impossibly wider. Your heartbeat quickens as tears spring to your eyes, and you do everything in your power to hold them back as you press your forehead against Nolan’s chest.

Everything feels so perfect in that moment. You’re not Travis’ sister. Not baby Konecny. Nolan isn’t Travis’ best friend. Not the Nolan Patrick. He is yours, and you’re his. The only think that matters now is how at home you feel standing awkwardly in the hallway embracing each other, with no intentions of letting go.

[could-have-beens]

miss maam,,, could i ask for some gin n tonic headcanons of yours??? could be from tlocc or just in general. i just love the way you capture and portray their dynamics haha

im prev anon (about gin n tonic) i just realized i didnt know your pronouns!!! sorry that i presumed it!! aaa so sorry about the miss maam part

Thank you so much! I'm happy to hear you like their dynamic in TLOCC! Ginny and Tom's relationship is such a joy to write, and it means a lot that you enjoy reading about them. And no worries, I use she/her 😊

As for headcanons, that's pretty much most of the fic. Why and how Tom opened the Chamber, his dynamic with the other students, how his fear of death began, Ginny dealing with the aftermath of COS, what her interactions with the diary was like, to name a few.

Here are some other headcanons I haven't had the chance to include in TLOCC:

Ginny is a foot shorter than Tom. It was the first thing she noticed about him. Height difference, my beloved ❤️

She's also the shortest person in their year. When Tom found out she was actually older than him, he almost made a joke about her height

But he didn't, because he knew she'd immediately retaliate and roast him without hesitation. While he doesn't mind how tall he is, he can't stand it when people point it out. No, he's not insecure, what the hell are you talking about

Ginny knows more about Tom than she realizes. The diary was honest with her about the little things, like his favorite drink, his fondness for Transfiguration, how much he dislikes the cold, stuff like that. But after everything that went down in COS, Ginny naturally assumed everything the diary told her was a lie and tried to forget about it. For her, Tom's most humanizing moments are seeing those half-forgotten details with her own eyes

Tom covers up his accent by imitating Alphard's. No one knows this but Margot, who only noticed it when she became seatmates with Alphard

Tom dislikes Quidditch, but he likes flying. If it wasn't for Abraxas, Tom would have tried out, if only to see if he was any good at it

Ginny and the diary bonded over their love of flying (and inability to afford their own broom) and magical creatures

Her experience with the diary made her resistant to Legilimency and the Imperius Curse. If you pit her against a more experienced wizard than Tom, she'd have a harder time fighting them, but it's not unlikely she'll be able to throw them off with enough practice

Tom is a natural Legilimens. Not like Queenie in FB (which isn't how I imagine Legilimency at all btw), but in that he's more sensitive to what people are thinking/feeling. It's why he's able to learn how to read people's minds relatively quickly, and why he reacts to Ginny the way he does when they first met

He's surprisingly good with animals, but only with snakes and magical creatures. Ginny strongly suspects Fawkes likes him better than her, and it irks her to no end

Their duel in the Chamber is Tom's first actual duel. The closest he'd ever come to dueling is his practice runs with Margot

He hasn't found his fighting style yet, so he just throws every spell he knows while trying to imitate Dumbledore, Ginny, and other people he admires looks up to tolerates

Remember the whole love triangle story Tom came up with? He got the idea from Margot, who made an offhand joke about Alphard possibly liking Ginny because he stared at her so much after they met. Tom encouraged the idea primarily to mess with Alphard, not Ginny.

Because Tom knows Alphard isn't romantically interested in her. He knows that. But Walburga? Abraxas? Briseis? They sure don't, and Tom knows Alphard isn't going to tell them. Joke's on him though, because look how that turned out

What Tom finds most frustrating about Ginny is how oblivious she is to the impact she has, how little she cares about the image she projects. On the flipside, his hyperawareness about his image, how much he cares about the impact he has on people, is what Ginny hates most about him (besides the whole, you know, Voldemort thing)

Not saying this is going to happen in the story, but assuming they're all alive and getting along post-Hogwarts (aka fics of my fic that I'll never write lol):

Tom briefly works for Borgin and Burkes. Ginny, jobless and not sure what to do with herself, goes and bugs him during his shifts. He pretends to hate it

She never calls him Tom, but she called him Thomas for a whole month, in retaliation for that one time he tried to call her Ginevra

He'll never admit it on the pain of death, but Tom goes to Dumbledore for Ginny-related advice

Ginny and Alphard meet up and get drunk every other weekend, with Tom tagging along as the designated sober friend (boyfriend? chaperone? Alphard knows better than to ask whatever the hell is going on with Ginny and Tom)

At some point, Alphard complains about his family's matchmaking attempts and half-seriously goes fuck it, I'm gonna travel the world to get them off my back. Ginny points out that it won't solve anything, they're still going to badger him about getting married. Alphard, drunk out of his mind, realizes that yes, you're right, we should get married right now, that'll show 'em. Ginny, also drunk out of her mind, agrees. Tom, wishing he was drunk out of his mind, is too busy fuming to convincingly talk them out of it

"What do you mean this is a bad idea? Name one good reason why we shouldn't — why're you twitching?"

Eventually, Ginny remembers that she's supposed to be a half-blood, and that the Blacks would rather have their line die out than marry anyone who wasn't pure-blood. Tom is livid that this, THIS is what stops her from Apparating with Alphard to the altar

Ginny and Alphard laugh about the whole thing the next day. Tom doesn't talk to them for a week

Alphard ends up going on his world tour and signs his letters to Ginny with stuff like "to my dearest bride" "from your handsome fiancee." Tom threatens to murder him every time

The last letter Alphard ever sends to Ginny is signed "my beloved widow"

Ginny also decides to travel, but not with Tom or Alphard or anyone. She checks in on them regularly, sends them souvenirs, but she never asks them to go with her. Tom isn't bitter about it, of course not, why would you even suggest —

Dumbledore insists on monthly family dinners with Ginny, Tom, and Aberforth. It's the most mortifying thing, but Ginny grows to love it, as much as she acts otherwise. Tom has . . . conflicted feelings about it all

Ginny goes to therapy. Tom also goes to therapy. They all go to therapy

[palidoozy-art]

The more I think about your recent post about the changes you made to Strahd, the more I wonder about those changes you made to the others mentioned (Rahadin, Van Richten, Ireena, etc). I'd absolutely love to hear what adjustments you made as you already shared some stellar ideas already. Like the Tome? -Chef kiss- Amazing.

Oh mannn I do love talking about my campaign. I changed a lot with them. Again, weirdly enough, I think Strahd wound up being the most like his original incarnation. I could talk forever about the changes I made so I'll try to be brief haha. IT STILL WON'T BE BRIEF.

Obvious CoS spoilers below

IREENA - I thought it was weird that the picture they gave her makes her look like such a badass, and then the module just kind of writes her as a damsel in distress to either get kidnapped or pulled into water or dumped somewhere. To me, she's like, the second most important character in CoS -- and the book literally gives you less direction to roleplay her than her brother. Furthermore, reading her ending actually legit made me mad.

So I said fuck all that. Ireena in my game was a 19-year old girl who grew and developed over the course of the campaign. Several of my players actually said they thought of her as "the main character," just because she experienced a lot of character growth and development, going from a sheltered meek teenager to someone who can fight and assert herself. The biggest change I made to her though was that I very specifically did not just want her to be "Tatyana with memory loss." Ireena is a unique individual who happens to be partially made out of Tatyana's soul. While she shares many similarities with Tatyana, they're separate people, and part of what Ireena has to grapple with is how to live up to that. She's in the post-campaign because of that distinction -- while Sergei offered her to join him, she declined, because she wants to experience life past her twenties. I didn't get to play it out because we were kind of rushing towards the end, but I honestly envisioned a scene where she talks to the portrait of Tatyana, apologizing to her because she knows she's being selfish remaining alive.

This also brings up a unique problem in the post campaign. If Ireena dies, she ceases to exist and may not be able to be resurrected. When her soul leaves her body, it's Tatyana's again. Ireena very much wants to live. Tatyana doesn't. A resurrection has to be made with the consent of the soul, and if Tatyana declines, Ireena's just... gone. Forever.

Related: because I wasn't sure what my players would ask, and Rahadin would absolutely know this information -- there have been 18 incarnations of Tatyana, including the original. I actually have a timeline of when they were all born and how they died. The curse manifests in that they always die or are killed before their 25th birthday. If Strahd attempts to marry them, they lose their minds and throw themselves off of the same balcony the original Tatyana jumped off of during the ceremony. Strahd can never have Tatyana. Vampyr will ensure of that.

But yeah, essentially: Ireena gained actual class levels; she wasn't just Tatyana with memory loss; she traveled with the party for 90% of the campaign and wasn't just a macguffin to be kidnapped/take to places; and I removed any of the "Sergei takes her into water/the sky and you never see her again" endings because I absolutely hated those.

VAN RICHTEN - Van Richten I tweaked a lot from his original incarnation. First, I started him off as Lawful Neutral. No, game, I know you tell me he's Lawful Good, but I'm gonna have to disagree with you that "training a racist tiger to genocide an ethnic camp" falls under the spectrum of Lawful Good. Second, I changed him from cleric to artificer (alchemist). I somehow just got the impression the dude was a godless man, and so he felt more fitting to be a man of science rather than a man of the church. Third, since I wasn't sure the other dread domains were ever going to be brought into 5e I moved him out of Darkon and into another world from the outside.

His backstory was also tied more into Strahd and the campaign in general, as well as the Dark Powers. About 30 years ago, he went into the mists with his own adventuring party (that included Escher) to try to rescue his kidnapped son, Erasmus. He found his son half-turned and begging him for death. Killing him, Van Richten hunted down the Vistani woman (Ezmerelda's mother) who sold the man, and in a rage strangled her to death. This gave him a curse. Ezmerelda witnessed it happen.

He went on a warpath against vampire spawn and vistani alike, until Strahd proposed a deal to Escher. Escher lured the group to a familiar dinner date with Strahd... only for Strahd to murder all of them, including Van Richten. Van Richten was approached by a dark power -- Vaund the Evasive, and given the option to return to life in exchange for the promise that Van Richten would eventually return to Amber Temple and free him. He took it, waking up outside of Barovia. From there he became famed vampire-hunter-book-author, until in his early 50's he decided it was time to seek vengeance and fulfill his promise. He brought in his hat of disguise, came up with an alibi, and headed into Barovia as Rictavio the Great.

He was absolutely played as a much more morally grey character at the start (the party's first encounter with him rather than Rictavio was him literally torturing a dude). He softened over the course of the campaign as he grew attached to the party, until finally reaching a point in the post-campaign where he's considered Lawful Good

Also: Ezmerelda was treated more or less as his adoptive daughter. She absolutely argued against this every single time, but he even slipped up and referred to her as his daughter on a few tense occasions.

RAHADIN - Rahadin I adjusted a lot, too. A LOOOOOOT. Strahd being comically evil makes sense -- the dude is a darklord, that kind of comes with the territory. With Rahadin, I wanted him to have more motivations to his actions, because the base game actually suggests that the dude is actually capable of caring. In the base game, you can find him at Amber Temple, trying to "petition the dark god into releasing his master from his torment." He screams in grief if he finds Strahd dead. Furthermore it felt like the game glosses over the fact that the dude was adopted as Barov's son. It doesn't bother addressing how Rahadin felt about Sergei, who would in theory be his other brother. I thought a number of things suggested in his backstory were interesting, but not expanded upon in the base game. So I took it upon myself to do so.

I changed how dusk elf society was built, which affected the three major dusk elf characters. It worked off of a pretty brutal caste system, with three kings at the top overseeing all of it. Rahadin was born in a lower caste, but actually brought into the warrior caste after a member of royalty was intrigued by his stature. Rahadin worked as a general, but grew frustrated by the inefficiencies of the caste system and its inequality. He started attempting to use his influence to petition other members of nobility into changing or loosening the strict system.

Patrina caught wind of this, and viewing it as a threat to her lifestyle + viewing it as an easy way to gain brownie points with those above her... tattled on him to the three kings, spinning what he was doing as treason. Rahadin was arrested and subsequently tortured. They attempted to execute him on a breaking wheel, breaking his bones against the spokes and leaving him in the town square as an example. He wound up escaping, crawling his way out of town until he was subsequently rescued by a group of human monks. The event pretty much broke him, morally. He went to Barov soon after and sold his people out, taking a personal hand in helping annihilate the dusk elves and conquering their land. Barov was so impressed by the man's loyalty that he adopted him as his son.

Part of this was done to make a connection as to why the hell Rahadin just absolutely fuckin' hates Patrina so much (since that definitely got played up during the campaign). When thinking of Rahadin's motivations, I tried to come at it from the angle that this man was evil... but legitimately cared deeply about Strahd, Sergei, and Tatyana. He was devestated from the events of the wedding, but saw Strahd's return as a second chance. As the lone surviving witness from the wedding, he desperately wanted to help the three of them. But his own blind loyalty to Strahd and his broken moral compass prevented him from doing so.

One of my favorite little additions was a sidequest I offered to the players (they wanted to redeem Rahadin). They were requested by him to retrieve (well, "not destroy or sell") one of his most precious belongings in his office. When they get there... it turns out it's a birthday card and a worn-out old amulet from Sergei and Tatyana that he's kept after all these years. They got Ireena to read the letter to him, to help him keep going after Strahd's death.

anyway i could ramble on about changes forever but i don't want this post to get too long haha. i have. many feelings. over this campaign. maybe at some point I'll do a separate post with some of the others.

i also kinda wanna do a comic of an event from Rahadin's backstory for my players but we'll see, I might deem it "too stupid."

[tails89]

If you’re still doing the prompts thing, could you do #20 (“This is, without a doubt, the stupidest plan you’ve ever come up with...I’m in.”) with Buddie from 9-1-1 please? And if not, no worries. :)

Hey there, sorry this took so long. Sometimes my brain just doesn't want to cooperate...

Anyway, hope you enjoy (I changed the prompt a lil)

Also posted on AO3

“Here.” The beer appears in Buck’s peripheral vision, and he reaches for it, fingers slipping in the cool condensation that beads down the side of the bottle.

“Thanks man.” He takes a long sip and stares out into the backyard. “Oh, hey. How were parent teacher interviews yesterday?”

Eddie groans and drops heavily onto the porch swing, throwing his legs up on the railing beside Buck’s.

“They were fine,” he says, taking a long drink from his beer.

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound fine,” Buck says, twisting to face Eddie. “Is everything okay with Chris? Is there—"

“Christopher’s fine.” Eddie cuts Buck off before he can get too worked up. “He’s doing well in school, got lots of friends.”

“Oh.” Buck takes a sip of his own drink. “So, what’s the matter then?”

Eddie pulls his feet from the railing and plants them on the porch.

“He’s got this one teacher, and every time I see her, she’s got something to say about me being a single dad.” Eddie leans forward, his elbows braced on his knees. “Like I’m not good enough for him on my own.”

“You know that’s bullshit,” Buck says. “You’re a great dad.”

Eddie just waves him off.

“Anyway, she was going on about my job and how the long hours aren’t fair on Chris and how alone he is... anyway... Chris told her he’s not alone. He said he’s got me and Carla, Pepa and Abuela and... his Buck.”

“Of course, Eds, you know we’re all there for Chris.”

“I know but, I just—I don’t know why I said it.” Eddie leans back against the swing, staring out into the night.

“Said what?”

“I may have told her we were together...”

The half-mouthful of beer goes down the wrong hole and Buck chokes.

“What?” He wipes his sleeve against his mouth to catch the liquid that’s spilled down his chin.

“It just came out. She kept going on about the type of home environment I was providing, and I know I shouldn’t have let it get to me, but—Chris was so excited. I tried to tell him it wasn’t true—"

“Eddie, it’s fine.” Buck fidgets with the label on his bottle. He can’t quite bring himself to look at his best friend, afraid his face will give him away. It makes sense now why Chris was so happy to see him today, and perhaps why it had taken so long for Eddie to get him into bed. “You need to tell him though.”

“I know.” Eddie sighs and drains his beer. “I honestly didn’t think he’d be excited about the prospect of me dating again. We haven’t really talked about it.”

Buck isn’t excited about the idea of Eddie dating again, dating someone else. He keeps his mouth shut though and finishes his beer. The seeds of a very terrible, stupid plan start to take root in his brain.

“Hey, if uh,” the words stick in his throat. “If you need some time, to tell Chris, I don’t mind pretending for a day or two.” Buck’s heart is pounding so loud in his chest, he wonders if Eddie can hear it too. “Just until you do.”

Eddie laughs, tipping his head back against the seat.

“That is, without a doubt, the stupidest idea you’ve ever come up with...” he says, still chuckling.

“Ha, yeah,” Buck plasters a grin on his face. “Pretty stupid.”

“You know what, I’m in,” Eddie says, regaining his composure. “Just for a day or so. I’ve got the rest of the parent teacher interviews tomorrow night and then I’ll sit Chris down and explain it was a misunderstanding.”

“What about the rest of the team?” Buck asks. “We’ve got a ten-hour shift tomorrow. What happens if they find out?”

“They won’t.” Eddie’s tone is warm and reassuring but Buck shakes his head.

“It just takes one,” he points out. “If Maddie finds out, she’ll tell Chim. And if Chim finds out—” he lets his head tip back with a groan, “—he’ll tell everyone.”

“Is it really that big of a deal?” Eddie asks him, planting his feet back on the porch and sitting up.

Yes, because if people find out that they’re ‘dating’ they’ll have questions and Buck can’t handle that kind of scrutiny, not when he’s already harbouring major feelings for his best friend.

“No,” he says instead. “I guess not. It’s just one day. What’s the worst that could happen?”

~

Buck pulls up at the station bright and early the next morning. He parks beside Eddie’s truck, a smile spreading across his face when he realises he has Chris with him.

“Bucky!” Chris's whole face lights up and he throws his arms around Buck.

“Hey bud.” Buck ruffles the kid’s hair and walks with them towards the firehouse. “What are you doing here?”

“Pepa’s running late,” Eddie explains. “She got caught up in traffic, so she’s going to pick Chris up from here. She shouldn’t be long,” he says, addressing Bobby this time.

“It’s not a problem. You hungry Chris?” Bobby asks, matching Chris’ pace as they head for the stairs. “I’ll see what I can rustle up for breakfast and you can tell me all about school.”

Chris nods along enthusiastically, following on behind Bobby.

“Hey Christopher.” Chimney leans over the balcony rail. “You got any fun stories for us kid?”

“Oh yeah!” Chris hands his dad one of his crutches so he can free up a hand to grip the stair rail. “Did you guys know Dad and Buck are dating?”

Every eye in the building turns to them.

The thing about the station is that it’s never truly quiet. There’s always some noise, some movement, no matter the time of day. But in that moment Buck could have heard a pin drop.

Hen is the first to break the silence.

“Alright, pay up.” She waves her fingers in Chim's face. “Better luck next time boys,” she crows, holding out her hands.

“I definitely heard you say November,” Chimney argues.

“I said, before November.” Hen grins. “It’s before November. Now pay up.”

“You couldn’t have waited just a few more weeks?” Chimney asks them. “Really, is that too much to ask?”

“What is happening right now?” Buck stares at his friends in disbelief. “Have you all been taking bets on us?”

Hen and Chimney share a look. “Uh, yes.”

They say it together, Hen bursting into laughter at the indignation on Buck’s face. “Oh please, you think you’re so hard to read? You wear your heart on your sleeve, Buckaroo. I read you.”

She counts the money she’s won, stuffing the notes into her pocket. “You boys just paid for my anniversary dinner. I can’t wait to tell Karen.” She pauses. “I don’t suppose you two also offer babysitting services?”

Buck bites his lip to hold back the panic clawing at his chest. His gaze flicks to Eddie, laughing and reassuring Chris that he’s not in trouble for spilling the beans. He’s acting like it’s nothing—like their whole team hasn’t been plotting behind their backs.

Eddie had promised that no one else would know, but that had gone down the drain in seconds. And now what? Do they keep up the lie or do they come clean? The idea of telling everyone that it’s not real is worse than knowing they’d been betting on him and Eddie getting together. Or do they already know that too? Maybe that’s the next bet and they’re all just waiting.

“I, uh—” Buck takes a half step back. “I’ll just be back in a minute.”

He doesn’t run for the stairs. He keeps his gait even until he’s at the bottom of the staircase and then he makes his escape to the bathrooms.

Buck spends the rest of the day avoiding the team. Well, avoiding them as much as he is able while still doing his job. While they’re at the station, he finds chores to keep himself busy, ignoring the looks he gets from Hen and Chim and ignoring the friendly teasing that he can’t take a joke.

Avoiding Eddie is the worst. Buck can’t bring himself to do it. He constantly finds himself gravitating back towards his best friend, drawn like a moth to a flame.

Buck keeps waiting for Eddie to pull him aside and ask why he’s not keeping his end of the bargain. Eddie keeps looking over at him, face pinched with an expression Buck can’t quite name. He’s probably pissed Buck couldn’t even keep it up for twenty-four hours, and now they’re both going to look like fools in front of the rest of the team.

~

“Thought I’d find you hiding in here.”

Buck glances up from the bunk to catch Bobby leaning in the doorway.

“I’m not hiding.”

“Good, because lunch is ready.” He goes to leave, then stops, rapping his knuckles against the door frame. “For what it’s worth Buck, we’re happy for you. Both of you.”

“Thanks Bobby.” Buck stands slowly, inhaling deeply. He can do this. He can pretend to be dating Eddie in front of his co-workers while also somehow pretending that he’s not wildly in love with his best friend. He’s got this, no problem.

Buck lets the breath go in a rush.

He’s so fucked.

Everyone’s eyes look up as Buck reaches the kitchen. He’s the last to sit and there’s just the one spare seat left beside Eddie.

As he settles into the chair, Eddie bumps their knees together under the table and offers Buck a reassuring smile.

“So,” Chim says reaching for the salad bowl. “I need details. When did this start?” He gestures between the two of them with the salad tongs before loading up his plate.

“Yeah, how long have you been keeping this from us?” Albert pipes up.

Buck swallows against the lump in his throat. They should have come up with something, just in case, but now they have nothing and—

“It was a few weeks after I got home from the hospital.”

Buck glances across at Eddie, brows knit together in confusion.

“I’d broken up with Ana and Buck was over a lot, helping with Chris,” Eddie explains, accepting a plate from Hen. “There was this one day. Buck had just got back after dropping Chris at school and we realised Chris had forgotten to take this book he’d wanted for show and tell.”

Buck can feel his frown deepening. He remembers this.

“Anyway, Buck wanted to go all the way back to Chris’ school to give it to him. Wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Eddie’s looking at him now, holding Buck’s gaze as he recounts the story. The whole team is looking at them, the heat of their scrutiny makes Buck squirm in his seat. “I said it didn’t matter, Chris could just take it another day, but Buck said—"

“It matters to Chris.” Buck feels his face flush. At the time, Eddie had laughed and said something about Buck being too good for them before Buck had run out of the house clutching the book.

“It just kind of hit me, you know?” Eddie finally looks away, reaching for the bread rolls in the middle of the table. “Just how lucky I am to have him and how much he cares about us and… I kissed him.”

There’s a collective gasp from around the table and all eyes turn back on Buck.

“And what did you do, Buckaroo?” Hen asks, leaning forward in her seat.

“I uh—” Buck glances at Eddie, eyes wide. “I kissed him back?”

“Yeah, and it was about damn time,” Chimney shouts around a mouthful of pasta. “You guys are so cute. It’s disgusting.”

~

The rest of the shift is better after that. Everyone seems satisfied by their story and Buck lets himself fall back into his regular comfortable rhythm, hanging with Eddie between call outs. There is still some awkwardness to it, Buck can’t stop his mind from wandering back to that morning, imagining what it would have been like if it had gone more like Eddie’s story. He’s surprised Eddie even remembered it, it had been just another day between the regular doctor and physical therapy appointments that consumed his every waking minute.

He waits until later that night to say anything. Chris is in bed and they’re back on the porch nursing a beer each.

“Can I, uh, ask you a question?” Buck tears at the label on his bottle. “That thing you said at lunch, about how we got together…” He trails off, not quite sure how to verbalise the whirlwind of feelings it had stirred in him.

“Yeah, well I had to say something convincing,” Eddie says, taking a sip of his beer.

“Oh, right. Yeah.” Buck had spent the whole afternoon thinking that maybe, just maybe his feelings for Eddie weren’t as one-sided as he’d initially thought. This though, this is like a bucket of ice water to the face. “I don’t think I can do this, Eds.”

Eddie’s head jerks up.

“I thought I could pretend, but I can’t.”

“Why did you suggest it then?” Eddie doesn’t sound angry. Buck almost wishes he did, it would be easier if the were both yelling at each other. Anything would be better than the soft disappointment in Eddie’s tone.

“I thought—” Buck takes a breath and tries again. “I wasn’t thinking when I suggested it. I think there was just a part of me that thought that getting to pretend with you was better than nothing. It’s not though, it just made it that much more obvious how much I want this— want us.” Putting down his beer, Buck goes to stand. “I’m sorry. I’m gonna go—”

“Wait. Buck.” Eddie catches his arm. “I should have kissed you.”

“What?”

“Chris’ show and tell. I didn’t kiss you that day, but I wanted to. You were just out the door so damn fast.”

“You wanted to kiss me?”

Eddie pulls him back down onto the swing with a fond eyeroll. “We’re you not listening to my story at lunch?” he asks, voice teasing. “I meant what I said about how it just hit me. You’re amazing Buck, and Chris and I are both so lucky to have someone like you, someone who cares with everything you have. I think I’ve loved you for a while, but that morning I knew.”

“I love you too.” Buck knows he’s grinning like an idiot, but right now he doesn’t care. “I know you didn’t kiss me back then but… you can kiss me now.”

And Eddie does.

It starts off soft and slow—a tentative brushing of their lips, but then as neither of them back off it grows more desperate. Buck curls his fingers in the hem of Eddie’s shirt, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

When he finally pulls away, they’re both red-faced and breathing hard.

“So, I guess this means we don’t need to break up,” Buck says with a laugh.

“No,” Eddie agrees. “I plan on keeping you around for a long time.”

[therealvinelle]

Vinelle (and muffin since I know they'll see this too~!), I don't know if you guys have made a post ranking the Twilight books and why (including Bree and L&D if applicable) but I'd love to hear your opinions! (also if you could rank the Twi movies from least worst to most worst and why that'd be awesome too! 030 hi key love your rants on the movies and would love to hear y'alls thoughts more on them)-Sw

You’ve caught us out, anon.

And thanks to you, we spent last night watching Breaking Dawn Part 2 so we could rank it. @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin hadn’t seen it at all, while I half-remembered it from years ago. A terrible time was had because that movie was unwatchably bad.

Since this ask was sent jointly, our answer was co-written.

So, without further ado, movies first:

1. Twilight

This is a bad movie, but it’s recognizably a movie. The scenes are connected, there are things it did well, and we could tell you what the plot is. The awkwardness, for instance, is very well done. The weaknesses are glaring, the main one being that the film never sells us on the characters of Bella and Edward, nor on their relationship, relying instead on the audience knowing they’re in love because- well, they’re in love.

Diving deeper into Edward and Bella, there’s an understandable explanation for this. Edward of the books is terrifying, and I don’t think there’s a translation to screen that could have kept the romantic atmosphere surrounding him that we see from Bella’s point of view.

Bella can listen to Edward eating Biology and how he explains that it means how much he loves her and not blink. An actual audience hearing that dialogue will have second thoughts.

Right out of the gate, Twilight has a very difficult task: Salvage Edward Cullen while still producing a somewhat recognizable character who will take the same actions (or near the same actions) that Edward Cullen did in the book.

In the effort to make Edward palatable but save some of his original character he loses his more terrifying lines (as well as his hilarious ego) but becomes weird, awkward, and vaguely creepy. Edward Cullen of the films is that weird, friendless guy in your high school who you feel kind of bad for but don’t want to eat lunch with.

Bella faces a similar transformation. Bella’s insecurity is completely removed (or else the screenwriters somehow failed to notice it). As a result, we get this strange antisocial girl who is too cool for school because she’s a stuck up bitch.

Between Edward, this creepy guy who sits next to her in Biology, and Bella, this girl who enters school too good for everyone else, we see no reason why they would ever be interested in one another.

In an attempt to make these characters likeable they made them both unlikeable and boring. The film series as a whole never recovers from this (indeed, the quest to make Edward look good keeps leading to stranger and stranger places). 

It also forgets to explain why the Cullens live among humans, they’re attending high school… because. It’s a movie that explained to us all those terrible 2010 era memes and “still a better love story than Twilight”. And frankly, those memes were great, better than the movie. Case in point.

Everything is weirdly blue, which is atmospheric but also makes everything and everyone washed out. Everyone is super pale, so you have Mike looking just as vampire-y as Edward. However, it’s recognizably a movie. It introduces the characters, recognizes that the audience needs to be informed of things that are important to the plot, and most scenes are in some way connected to the plot. This is more than can be said for the other films, which is why it lands the top slot.

2. Eclipse

Eclipse earns its second place by process of elimination. The remaining three were worse. Eclipse also features Edward being cuckolded mercilessly, which is hilarious. Oh, and Victoria playing Riley, that was another beautiful scene.

Apart from that it’s just a deeply boring, borderline unwatchable movie.

Special shoutouts go to:

The opening scene of Riley getting turned, a ridiculous and poorly executed scene that served no purpose for the movie whatsoever.

Rosalie dropping her backstory without any context, Bella walks up to her and Rosalie launches into this horrific story for no particular reason. Both her and Jasper’s backstories could have been cut, as they served no purpose to the story and felt really thrown in there.

The many, many redundant scenes. The Victoria chase that ends with the Cullens and Quileutes squabbling could have been cut entirely. So too could the Seattle subplot with the newborns and Bree.

It’s a movie that isn’t about anything in particular, so it throws subplot spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. It dutifully regurgitates the Jacob/Bella/Edward love triangle while also trying to convey that Bella’s about to lose her mortality, while also trying to introduce suspense and excitement with the newborns. It fails to execute either of these, and it also fails to tie them together.

3. New Moon

The movie that wanted to skip itself.

This movie had two jobs, show that Bella is depressed when Edward leaves and convince the audience of Bella and Jacob’s strong friendship. And apart the rotating shots and the occasional Stewart voiceover, the former becomes one of those “just stay with us on this one, guys” failures, and the second is failed on every level. Jake and Bella are much closer at the beginning of this movie than they were in canon, and a montage of Bella hanging out with her buddy is just that, it’s a montage of Bella hanging out with her buddy. It speaks volumes that Stewart’s voiceover has to remind us she’s depressed and Jacob is helping her heal, because there’s no indicator on screen that this is happening.

This, in turn, makes Bella/Jake as weak and unconvincing as Bella/Edward was in the previous movie. We just have to take on faith that these people are important to each other because that’s what we’re told.

There’s also the wolves, who are completely butchered. In the books, there’s this great mystery with bears in the woods, there’s Bella wondering why Laurent ran off, there’s build-up, then when we find out what’s actually been happening it’s a satisfying explanation, all the pieces come together really nicely. This is not the case in the movie. Meeting the pack is just weird in this context, because we never wondered who they were. Bella is randomly invited to breakfast, we meet Emily with the scarred face who won’t ever have a line again, and that’s it, these characters don’t become important to the movie in any way. It’s a pointless scene that could have been cut, much like so many other scenes in these movies.

Apart from that, the Volturi scene from the books is butchered so I hardly recognize it, and Alice, Carlisle, and Edward’s characters are assassinated to an impressive degree considering they were barely in the movie.

It was hard to watch.

It lands third place because somehow, Breaking Dawn was worse.

4. Breaking Dawn Part Two

I’ll just list the positives: the intro was very pretty and promised a better movie. It was also long, which we appreciated because it took away from the movie’s runtime. (This is not at all an exaggeration, a lot of the time watching all five movies was spent looking at the remaining runtime and groaning.) The Tommy Wiseau sex scene in the sex cabin was uncomfortable, but the fact that it would have fit perfectly in The Room made it funny. The Romanians were genuinely, unironically, great, because of all of Carlisle’s trashy friends, these were the only ones the movie didn’t try to convince us weren’t trashy.

This movie ranks above Breaking Dawn Part One because of the things listed above.

Apart from that, something all of these movies, but especially the last four, suffer from is that they don’t have plots so much as they have a check list of things to put in the movie before they can call it a wrap. This movie is the worst offender of that, and it’s made worse by the film’s expectation that the people are fans who already know what’s happening, and therefore don’t need anything explained. I’ll explain what we mean by that.

We get Bella waking up a vampire, and absolutely nothing is explained. If you don’t know what happened in the last movie then fuck you. Bella then goes hunting, we get the hiker, we get the mountain lion, she goes back to meet Renesmée, finds out Jake imprinted on her daughter, we get the sex cabin, the handwrestling with Emmett. The Charlie problem is introduced (poorly), only to be solved a scene later with emotional payoff that had absolutely no buildup. All of these things, and the rest of the movie as well for that matter, feels like we’re just crossing items off a list.

Since the audience is expected to already know the story, the story only bothers to explain about half of what’s happening, if half. Who’s the lady living with Charlie? If you don’t know, don’t worry because it’s not important anyway. When did Kate and Garrett fall in love? If you don’t care, that's understandable, because they’ve barely interacted in the movie. Who are the Amazonian women? Do they have names? Don’t worry about it. Did Alistair actually leave, if so did that have an impact? Well, Bella stared at a window for a few seconds.

Every so often the characters will start quoting the books, and it’ll be completely out of place because these movies veered off course long ago. Carlisle references his great friendship with Aro, a friendship that was only briefly mentioned at the beginning of the second movie. Aro randomly starts talking about how scary human technology is.

All of these scenes feel like Marcus is telling the story, he’s just listing events waiting for the story to be over, and forgets a lot of pertinent details because he doesn’t care enough to remember them. There’s no effort to tie these scenes together, no effort to build up to anything.

There’s also one significant failure, and this is a failure shared by all five films, but it affects the plot (I use the term “plot” loosely) of this movie which is why it gets a special shoutout here. Vampires in these movies look human. The fact that Bella has to ask Edward is Gianna the secretary is human says it all, because in the books you know instantly, there’s not even a question. This makes the Charlie subplot ridiculous, because Bella looks and acts the same as ever. She had a trashy makeover, maybe, but she’s still Bella. Watching her get human acting classes after we watched her act perfectly human is just silly. Now, we’re all for suspension of belief, but this movie just pencil drew a moustache on her and the audience is supposed to go “My god, Bella, I didn’t recognize you!”

We then get to the atrocious fight scene, which was somehow worse than I remembered. It was also oddly long for a giant fake out. This scene took significant run time and it turns out to have 0 effect on the plot. And when we get back to the real world, the tonal shift is extreme. You can’t go from Jane being choked, dragged across the snow and face eaten by a wolf to her standing around chilling. We could have skipped it entirely, just had Alice touch Aro’s hand, and he goes “Ah, I see, cheerio.”

The end credits were pretty funny, “here are these random characters with bit parts in previous movies, isn’t this nostalgic?”. Nice try, movie. The fact this came after an extended clip show of the great romance of Edward and Bella, through blurry montage images that failed to be convincing in their original films let alone this one, just made it even more hilarious. Hope you didn’t completely ruin the director’s career, though honestly you should a bit.

5. Breaking Dawn Part One

As you can probably tell by the above entries, the fact that this is the worst one is really saying something. All the movies were hard to watch, but this one required pure strength of will to power through.

The big issue is that Breaking Dawn shouldn’t have been split in the first place. However, it was, and that meant that we got a movie that was almost entirely filler. (Followed, somehow, by a movie that was also largely filler.)

We get everybody preparing for the wedding. What do Mike and Jessica think of Bella and Edward getting married? What’s that, you don’t care? Well, now you know anyway. We get the full wedding, as in the whole fucking thing, including the afterparty. We get Bella and Edward traveling to their island, and there’s filler in the filler where they go clubbing in Rio. We then get every minute detail of the wedding night followed by every minute detail of the honeymoon.

There’s fanservice, and then there’s this. This was live action fanfiction.

NOTHING that in any way is relevant to the story happens, the closest we get is Irina looking stoned. Too bad the Denali’ refusal to help out in Eclipse was cut from the last movie, in fact I’m not sure they were mentioned at all previously in these movies (I think maybe Edward had a one-line reference in Twilight?) so this means nothing to people who haven’t read the books.

We then get to the pregnancy arc, which could have been Rosemary’s Baby but is instead as outrageously boring as the first half of the movie was. The director must have realized as much, because he gives us Jacob’s alpha plot that should have been cut from the movie (yes, I know it was in the books, but the thing about adaptations is that things have to go. For the record, I think Meyer should have cut it too). That subplot was straight out of an anime, by the way. Jacob claiming his ancestral rights as alpha while listing off his titles and the soaring music, was… every shounen anime, ever. Complete with the shitty voice acting.

It was a soul-crushingly boring movie.

-

Something that screws over the last four movies is that they were made to feed the fangirls, and generate revenue because the producers knew the fans were coming to watch the books they liked come to life, so they just had to throw scenes from the books and into the movies and let the magic happen. This is a terrible way to adapt something.

Special shoutout too to having to watch Taylor Lautner run around shirtless in four out of five movies. That was very uncomfortable and none of us needed that in our lives, Lautner included.

Super special shoutout to the fact that we disagree with nearly all the casting.

And this isn’t the post for that, but all of the characters were butchered. Some more than others, and some more insidiously than others. It’s the big things, like Carlisle’s character being turned on its head since he thinks all vampires are damned, exactly the opposite of what he thinks in the books, and the little things, like Jasper and Bella being buddies who bicker fondly in New Moon. 

Then the books:

1. Midnight Sun

HANDS DOWN. This is easily our favorite thing to come out of the entire Twilight franchise.

Edward is every kind of crazy at the same time, all the time, and it makes every single sentence packed with delirious entertainment. Reading this book is having a stroke, a psychotic episode, and watching five different true crime shows all at once. We adore every letter of it. (That’s no exaggeration, we even laughed about Edward capitalizing “Son” when Carlisle refers to him as “son” in conversation.)

The book was more than we’d dared to hope for, one of those rare books that makes you go “This was written just for me.”

2. Twilight

The one that started it all.

Vampires are wonderfully creepy. Things like Bella staring at Carlisle acting like the mundane town doctor shortly after learning just how old he is, Alice explaining how vampires kill all, and the uncanny valley perfection of the Cullens all add to the otherness of these vampires, and the general atmosphere of the book.

The love story is convincing. Edward seen through the eyes of Bella is wonderful, the red flags are there but if it weren’t for the books that followed we wouldn’t have decried the ship the way we do.

3. Eclipse

Breaking Dawn is the more interesting book, but Eclipse has less things we outright don’t like. We get to know all the characters better, Edward and Bella are their usual beautiful selves, and it’s overall peak Twilight.

4. Breaking Dawn

Would have ranked much higher, we like what it did. Without it we wouldn’t be in this fandom now, as it brought so much amazing content. The baby plot is fine by us, Carlisle’s friends are great, the Volturi confrontation is a beautiful, if bleak culmination of preventable events. There’s a lot of great stuff in this book.

Unfortunately, and there’s just no diplomatic way to put this, so I’ll just come out with it: there’s too much Jacob.

He no longer had a reason to be in the story, given the way Eclipse ended he had every reason not to be in it. In spite of that we get an entire third of the book from his point of view, and then damned if he’s not shoehorned into the last third as well. He added absolutely nothing to the story, he was just there taking up space and being possessive of a toddler. His POV section was tough to get through, and his presence in book three was just painful. He should have been cut.

5. New Moon

This was the book we had to power through. There are some very good things in it, most notably the Volturi scene, but the Muffin and I enjoy Twilight for the vampires, and that makes Laurent and Hallucination!Edward the highlights of the part of the book where Edward is gone.

There’s also the fact that Jacob isn’t a very compelling character. He has to carry the book now that the Cullens aren’t doing it, and he simply isn’t up for it.

-

Yes, we’re aware that these books are ranked according to how much Jacob is in them. We don’t even hate him, not at all, it’s just that he’s boring.

(That being said, the books at their worst are better than the movies at their best. Jacob narrating his perfect playdate with Renesmée would still be preferable to… I’m trying to think of a good scene from the movies. Hm, nevermind.)

As for The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner and Life and Death, only I have read Bree Tanner and I don’t remember it well enough to give a proper assessment. I was bored with the OCs, though, bored to tears, throughout that book I was itching for Victoria and the Cullens. We have not read Life and Death, but we’re offended by its existence so it ranks bottom.