#though at least this is still the better than the lack of motivation. like decreased executive functions and whatnot

[sillyfreakx5]

since when am i now sex repulsed (?) fuck my life

[linkspooky]

hi Spooky! I just read your meta about Gojo's motivation in the fight and you brought up interesting points.

I thought Gojo was fighting in a way that he's trying to save Megumi, because if Gojo is really trying to eliminate Sukuna for good he would go for the most fatal blow, the brain, he knows that Sukuna can still come back even without heart (lungs and liver)... so I thought Gojo is probably trying to weaken Sukuna to "make room" for Megumi. Even if his facade is "carefree", at first he already warned Sukuna that he won't hold back, he seemed worried when he realized that Megumi is the one that got hit by UV. But now I'm worried about his character growth, is it like he's decreasing? or at least he's not showing something better than the Gojo who killed Toji - teen Gojo; what happened to the Gojo that claims to protect his students' youth and who is supposed to be the "good guy" in this fight...

I still think Gojo is fighting with the belief he can revive Megumi after he takes down Sukuna, but I agree with you anon his attitude towards the fight shows his lack of growth after Toji. Not only does Gojo reference Toji a couple of times like the battle is still fresh on his mind but his emotional state resembles the way he was when he fought Toji post-awakening as the "strongest." It wasn't just a happy-go-lucky facade at that point Gojo stated in his internal narration he wasn't fighting to avenge Riko: it really was just about defeating Toji and using his newfound power to reach his full potential.

It's understandable Gojo reacted that way in the moment though. He's seventeen, and it's probably alienating to have that much power thrust on your shoulders at seventeen. However, Gojo shows a clear lack of progress since that battle. Eleven years have passed since the battle with Toji, and Gojo's kind of trapped there mentally. He's still fighting for the same reasons he fought against Toji. Those lines could be applied to how he feels via Sukuna's possession of Megumi.

"Right now I'm not angry for you. Nor do I feel vengeful toward anyone. Right now, it's just that everything feels right."

Word of god supports this: Gege was asked directly if Gojo matured after the battle with Toji, and Gege explained instead of maturing he left the decision making up to Geto.

This is pretty consistent with Gojo and Geto's foiling with one another. Geto tends to be a deeply self-reflective character almost to a fault. While I'd argue that while Gojo is known by the fandom as the more selfish one, he is oddly someone who doesn't self reflect at all.

We know far more about Geto's internal world and how he sees things because of his internal narration. Honestly, if you compare the short time he's a focus character in Hidden Inventory to the entire rest of the manga Gojo receives a lot less internal dialogue. When Gojo does have internal narration it's almost always just him strategizing for a fight. He doesn't have the same richly developed internal world that Geto has because he doesn't really think or reflect on those things. When he does give insight to himself and his belief it's almost always himself talking aloud to other people.

Which neatly dovetails into my next topic re: Gojo's tendency to mask his true emotions under a light-hearted facade. I think it's inarguable he does that, Gojo was acting happy-go-lucky in front of his students about five minutes after killing Geto. Geto commented in the beach scene in Okinawa that Gojo goofing around on the beach was his way of being considerate to Amanai, and that while pretending to be carefree he'd been exhausting himself keeping the limiitless active for days not even sleeping. Gojo even downplays the burden of that in front of Geto, the one person he allows himself to be vulernable with.

However, I don't think Gojo's tendency to mask his true emotions is because he's crying on the inside during his fight with Megumi and at some point he's going to have an emotional breakdown over it. That interpretation I think comes from the fandom's tendency to woobify Gojo because they want to make him a more relatable and easy to understand character when Gojo is supposed to be alienating and off-putting.

He's an exploration of what being the strongest would due to a person's mind, and how much that would alienate a person from the people around him. Gojo's defined by his inability to relate to others, especially the people he finds as weak so it only makes sense he'd process his emotions in a way that's different from most people.

If people learn and grow and change by their interaction with others, then Gojo who's very cursed technique itself makes it so nobody can ever touch him unless he wants them too does not interact with others and therefore does not change.

It's interesting if you look at things from a budhhist perspective, because there are heavy themes of budhism present in the text of JJK itself. Let's say that Gojo attained enlightenment at seventeen. If he's already enlightened then why would he need to grow any more past that point? The ultimate goal of budhism is to escape the cycle of karma entirely, so from that perspective Gojo untethering himself from the world and earthly concerns and other people is his ideal endpoint.

On the other hand Gojo is like a person living in the world - he eats takeout, goes out drinking with his friends, has a job, pays his taxes. He didn't escape life and worldly concerns, because life went on, he's still living in the world and eleven years has passed since the moment he "attained enlightenment."

If he's already enlightened then he shouldn't need to grow, but considering hes still living in the world you need to grow and change with the world and people around you otherwise you're going to be left behind.

From what we've seen in canon Gojo changed a little bit. His ideals changed in the fact he adopted Geto's sense of responsibility and judgement of good and evil. He also witnessed Geto's fall and lost his friendship which is clearly what influences his current beliefs on wanting to protect the childhood of sorcerers, and that there's something rotten about the Jujutsu Society surrounding him.

I don't mean to say that every change in Gojo's life comes from Geto, but rather Gojo's current sense of beliefs are based around what happened to him in his youth. He wants to protect children because his youth was ruined. If Geto never fell and became a curse user would Gojo see anything wrong with the current system worth rebelling over?

Put better in another better meta here.

Still, my point is that... Gojo simply never cared enough about things like ideology. [...] He tried to internalize Geto’s original values of protecting the weak since he could sense some merit to them, finding joy in entertaining Riko and later his students, but he completely missed the reasoning behind those values. This is why he spouted all those things about not saving/reaching Geto (without having attempted it in the first place) and about becoming a teacher to prevent young sorcerers from missing out on their youth (immediately going to indoctrinate young Megumi into their messed up system as a pretext of saving him from the Zenins. [...] The only way he can empathize with them is by remembering what he himself enjoyed in his youth, that being companionship with his bff and his growing power. And when some of them don’t show interest in that (like poor fucking Megumi) Gojo is simply not interested in exploring alternatives.  To him, it’s not a question of ‘why’, it never was.

Gojo is extreemly self-oriented in all the good and bad that entails. Good because it makes him an extremely strong, and self confident individual that allows him to pursue those ideals (and his ideals are still pretty good) bad because he easily loses sight of other people's feelings.

A gojo who truly changed after the fight with Toji would have reached out to Megumi in an attempt to break the cycle that started with the Zen'ins abuse of TOji. A true example of being the bigger man by going out of his way to help the son of a man who in a lot of ways caused permanent damage to his life and the people around him.

However, that's blatantly not what Gojo did. Once again we have Word of God on this.

Gojo hasn't matured past his mindset of seeing people in terms of "strong and weak" and as a natural extension of that he tends to treat the same kids he's trying to help as assets so he's not living up to his desire to be the responsible adult in their lives. Because he's not really an adult. His growth stopped in the fight with Toji.

Gojo's solution to the problem of Jujutsu Society's use of child soldiers and treating children as expendable is... to create stronger child soldiers. I don't think Gojo does this maliciously, it's just he has no self-awareness whatsoever. He is Jujutsu Society's ideal and constantly praised as such and because of that can't see the flaws in his own ideology and actions. That's also the way Gojo was raised, pushed to be the strongest and to build his entire life and self-worth around being the strongest he can be. People who lack self-awareness tend to unsconiously recreate the circumstances under which they were raised because it's familiar to them. Do unto others what was done unto you.

To return to my original topic though Gojo has a tendency to make his true emotions but I don't think it's done because he's secretly crying on the inside.

I think Gojo's complete lack of reaction to Nanami's death was his genuine reaction. He's not putting on a brave face or anything. He probably does care that Nanami died, but this is just how Gojo processes his emotions. I also think there's a couple of times where Gojo is disturbed during the fight against Megumi such as when Sukuna used Megumi as a shield for the limitless, but at the same time he's clearly having the time of his life with this fight.

I don't think he's faking that. He shouldn't really be enjoying this battle because there are simply more important things right now than whether or not Gojo finally gets to have fun in a fight and be challenged against someone who's his equal - but apparently Gojo didn't get that memo.

Gojo is probably masking his emotions to some extent, but there's a difference between text (what is stated) and subtext (what is not stated and instead relies on reader interpretation). Gojo visibly enjoying himself in the fight is direct text. Gojo announces out loud that he has no problem beating up Megumi, the narration tells us that Gojo is feeling deeply satisfied with this fight.

While characters do sometimes hide their feelings and lie, and narrators are sometimes reliable, subtext is still an interpretation and it doesn't trump what is directly stated by the work.

The text has already told us directly that number one Gojo doesn't feel any hesitation to fight Megumi, and number two Gojo's first priority is winning and his second priority is worrying about Megumi.

Anything that contradicts that is fandom interpretation of the text. I don't think Gege is trying to pull a fast one or unreliable narrator trick here. Gege has always been blatantly honest about Gojo's flaws as a character, hence why I constantly cite his responses in interviews.

I think it's Gege's intention here to show us how Gojo's priorities are eschewed. You can make an argument that Gojo has to worry about defeating Sukuna first above everything else because of utiliarian reasons. If he loses here then everyone else dies. He may have to sacrifice Megumi to stop Sukuna from killing anyone else.

However, those utilitarian reasons are in direct opposition to Gojo's ideals. Gojo wants to create a world where children aren't sacrificed for the common good. In Gojo's ideals chidlren shouldn't be sarificed for adults, but rather it's adults who should protect children so they can live out their youths. If Gojo fails to protect Megumi here he's going back on everything he supposedly stands for.

So while you can make an argument pragmatically Gojo has to worry about winning the fight first. Idealistically he should be fighting to save Megumi, not to win against Sukuna. However, he's not doing that. By having him care more about the fight itself then Megumi, it shows that Gojo's pragmatism often is in conflict with his own idealism. Which is something we've always known about his character. He wants to help kids but at the same time he's using them as tools to further his own agenda.

Again a lot of Gojo's flaws arise from his own lack of self-awareness. Gojo does conceal his own emotions a lot, but I don't think he's hiding a crying child inside. Instead it's more like he's so alienated from both the people around him and his own emotions that he can't process them or self reflect.

Gojo is blind in a lot of ways, like it's made clear by Shoko that Gojo's isolation doesn't just come from being the strongest. There are people around him actively trying to connect with him and Gojo just kind of ignores them because he's too caught up in the idea that only someone like Geto who was as strong as he was could ever understand him.

Gojo doesn't show his own emotions or make deep emotional connections with others because he probably doesn't understand those emotions himself. He's not only alienated himself from the people around him, but he's alienated himself from his own feelings to such an extent that even when he does care it's difficult for him to show it.

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Hi hi! I'm glad you're well, except for the commute (oof). If you haven't done this already, I'd love to hear thoughts from you about Brenner. First of all, how does someone like him live with doing the sort of things he's done? Also, with him being "papa" to El in her early life, how well would you say stories of why abusive parents abuse, and how they understand what they're doing, fit to understanding Brenner's behavior and mind? (I hope that all makes sense?) Thanks! and have a good one! ^_^

Ok, you’ve been waiting for this one for quite some time. I apologize. It’s been hard to stay motivated between all the stress of the past year and the lack of fresh Stranger Things content. You’ve put forth a very thought-provoking question, as it really demands that I get into the question of human behavior and why anyone does anything, let alone something that many would see as horrible.

Too often, people like to write certain people off as “just plain evil.” This is a problematic argument, however, as it avoids any exploration as to why something might have happened. If we don’t understand the root of a given behavior, we leave ourselves open to it happening again. Brenner isn’t evil, but only because “evil” is a social construct that isn’t naturally occurring. Brenner himself would certainly give all sorts of justifications for his actions, and that is the real issue here. A stereotypically “evil” person would know he is doing wrong, and either not care or enjoy it.

Brenner doesn’t see anything wrong with what he’s done. He may know it’s illegal, even unethical, but he sees himself as doing something great. Those who are hurt along the way are simply the cost of doing business, for lack of a better term. He has little, if any, remorse for his actions. Everything is justifiable to him if it works towards his goals. What are his goals? First, to achieve greatness. Second, to have his greatness known. The closest he gets to caring for something other than himself is his desire to defeat the Russians, but that may well be driven by his desire for greatness rather than a desire to help his country. He’s not out to hurt anyone, but he cares little if that’s what it takes.

What this shows is a disregard for the rights of others, along with the previously mentioned lack of remorse. This is where an evil argument can be made, since it creates a situation where he quite simply seeing others as lesser than himself. This is what leads to people treating others as subhuman and expendable. Most people, even when put into a situation that requires decisions that can result in others being seriously hurt or killed, will struggle with it. It’s the sort of thing that would haunt the average person, even if they tried to rationalize it away, at least until they became desensitized to it.

We get no sense that Brenner himself was simply broken down until this emotionally detached person was all that was left. There’s no indication that he came into his research as someone with ethical standards, but got disillusioned over time. Everything we see in Stranger Things, as well as the supplemental materials, tells us that this is basically Brenner’s modus operandi. Any display of emotion from him is simply part of a greater strategy of manipulation. He tricks his subjects into thinking he cares for them, and, especially with the children, grooms them to see him as a father figure whom they will wish to please.

Using Brenner as an exploration of abusive parents is a bit dicey, as his parental status is essentially fake. God willing, he has no actual children. Still, it can work as a sort of metaphor, I suppose. An abusive parent would behave similarly, unrealistic elements of the series aside, in that I’d wager that abusive parents rarely see themselves as abusive. I don’t have any research handy for this, but, anecdotally, people take on traits of their parents (and other significant people in their lives growing up). The cycle of abuse is not a conscious choice that people make, and this is what makes it difficult to break. Billy was abusive because Neil was abusive. Billy started to see Neil’s methods as the only way to 1) be safe and 2) get what you want. Neil’s abuse of Billy likely decreased in frequency and severity as Billy took on traits that Neil appreciated. This reinforced the behavior in Billy, turning him into a carbon copy of the man he hated. Billy also likely harbored a great hatred of himself, assuming he had moments where he was able to clearly see the person had become. Abusive parents, particularly those who had been abused, would likely have a similar sense of shame once the defense mechanisms stop protecting them from their own behavior.

I’m not sure Brenner would feel ashamed of himself, though. Even if someone, somehow stripped away his delusions of grandeur, arrogance, and claims of the ends justifying the means, there’s no reason to believe that Brenner would have a Heel Realization. He’s not a Well-Intentioned Extremist or He Who Fights Monsters who simply needs to be put down. The man is a sociopath. He doesn’t value others enough to have any genuine emotional attachment with them. If you watch his scenes with El, you can actually see that any reactions he has are due to the results of his experiments with her. His emotional attachments are centered on his work. These people are subjects to him, merely nameless numbers. Their names only exist to allow him to put up a paternal front, so they feel compelled to obey and desire to please him.

I think a better look at abusive parents in Stranger Things would be with Neil or Lonnie. They’re both horrible people, but at least tried to be parents in their own twisted way. If we use the story of Lonnie taking Jonathan hunting to illustrate parenting, we can sort of see the differences. A good dad would see his son is upset and end the hunting trip. An abusive dad, like Lonnie, would make his kid do it anyway because he thought it’d toughen his son up and because he cared more about what other people thought than how his son felt. Brenner tried to make El kill a rabbit just to see if she could, so she can be a weapon.

Lonnie was a selfish abusive asshole, but Brenner was only ever in it for himself. El would have been killed or locked away in an asylum if her powers never developed. It takes a lot to come across as worse than Lonnie, but, hey, there’s always a bigger fish.

[ranmanjuu]

Could you write some hc’s for a zombie apocalypse au? Can you write it for Sasuke, Mitsunari and Ranmaru? Thank you!!! ☆*:. o(≧▽≦)o .:*☆

hey op are you a mind reader because this’s actually been an idea of mine for a while now (but again, lack of motivation hsaglhsa) and i’m ???? (also my three most favorite characters i’m !!!!) thank you for enabling me. it’s a bit different than what i had in mind for the original fic and it has just a liiil bit of world building details but enjoy!

—sasuke:

sasuke works in what they call the “safe zone”, ran by the government. you yourself never did go there—a decision well-made, in your opinion. rumor’s spread through the city that every day a good number of people were kicked out due to lack of resources, and their workers being put through hell to also not get fired and thrown out. but you never really did regard it as either true or otherwise.

it didn’t matter to you—until you met sasuke.

he’d been faring rather well, with footsteps silent as ever. it was the matter of food, water, shelter. the needs of his body would kill him before the zombies did—the simple matter of even eating a contaminated piece of candy could mean the end for him.

and there you found him, in a dark alleyway, fading in and out of consciousness; hungry, weak, cold, dirty—you didn’t think it through when you dragged his body to where you stayed.

it’s too late, you thought, watching his body wrapped in layers of blankets writhe awake, might as well let him stay for a bit.

as soon as sasuke could sit up, you immediately gave him food and water. snacks were better than nothing. as his body desperately gobbled the food up (he tried to cover it, but to no avail), you explained what happened.

“. . . as soon as you’re done, grab the set of clothes there and leave.” even words as cold as yours were said, the slight hesitance pooling in your eyes said otherwise. if he noticed, he never commented.

instead, he asked you while you were heading to the door, “and where are you going, if i may ask?”

“. . . fix the power outlet.” you answered warily; you never knew what people could do with information. you hated the distrust, but it was a given at times. “autumn’s coming, it’s gonna be cold.”

and you thought it was the end, worst case scenario is he’d sabotage you. but you tried to stave off the suspicion—

“i can go along, if you want. i know how they operate.” you stopped your tracks, silently looking back to sasuke and making your judgement for the decision. “i’m fairly knowledgeable with electronics.” he explained further.

your heart and mind weighed the offer. on one hand, so far you’ve been fooling around and picking up things with trial and error. on the other hand, it’d be easy for him to make it shit for you. a sigh, you grabbed a crowbar and half-assedly pointed it at him, “okay, i’ll stave off the zombies. i see you doing fuck-all, it’s over.”

even at your threat (one you hated to make, at that), sasuke’s expression remained stoic with a nod, “i understand.”

you watched his movements with hawk’s eyes, while decapitating any approaching undeads. but the swarm grew bigger and bigger—you thought security was better than this, but oh well. it’s not something you can’t deal with.

even so—you hurt your leg. prosthetic one, lost in a reckless accident and replaced with a stiff and quite low-quality metallic one. “fuck—” you scowled, looking behind at sasuke for a moment, “are you done?”

“——yes.” a brief answer, “let’s get out now—” with surprising agility, he grabbed your hand and fled the scene.

you were mildly pissed at those walking corpses for crushing your prosthetic leg, it’d take a while to trade with someone out there to repair it, if you couldn’t do a shitty job of it yourself.

but to your mild surprise, sasuke knew how to do it. just a few scraps of whatever piece there was lying about, some tools, and it’d be fine, he said. the usual wave of distrust fell over you—but it somehow felt easier to agree and leave it up to him. a repayment of sort.

and over time, it seems like the universe made an effort to put excuses for sasuke to stay, whether it’d be ventilation problems, electrical, mechanical  —it was impressive, no doubt. you’d soon take him in permanently under the guise of him being useful (but it’s more of sympathy really, you’re aware of that fact.)

and even on the off-time, you spent most of it talking to him. silence ringing around the rooms with occasional guttural growls of the zombies weren’t the best atmosphere, so to say. but he’d often crack jokes (which earned a nose exhale, or chuckles on a good day).

he’d tell you about his experience working in the equally suffocating safe zone—everyone’s working for themselves and friends don’t exist much, as you understood it. a dog eat dog world, where everyone scrambles to be the most useful and cram their brains to the brim while distrusting everyone.

and you felt a semblance of relatability in his detachment to people—but why does it secretly hurt for you? the thought of him dismissing your bond. . .

it hurts; you don’t know why.

and of course, he has more knowledge about zombies than the ones you just pick up from experience. in fact, it’s been a speculation that the virus withheld the body from decomposing—but not limiting it. in a about a year, he guessed, they’d rot away.

“does. . .does that mean this can end if they drop and infections decrease?” you asked, letting the curtain crack open to hope.

“. . .best case scenario, yes.” even as his face remain mostly stoic, you see the crinkles of hope, melancholy, happiness.

you don’t recall how you got to the decision—not a logical stream of thought at least. it jumped like an instinct for you to just propose it, nothing else— “sasuke, you wanna stay with me until then?”

a look of surprise overcame your hushed question, so filled with long-lost warmth. but similarly, the answer came immediately, “of course.” his hand reached to yours, tender and soft, the most you’ve felt in forever, “i’ll stay. face the past, present, and future with you.”

—mitsunari:

a strategist wasn’t a job common in modern times, but it’s one mitsunari’s taken during the apocalypse. securing paths, ways to efficiently scout out, etc. that’s why to say he was utterly baffled when a major breach reached his group—the oda—flooded the zombies inside.

the last thing clearly in his mind was hideyoshi’s firm order. the blur of rotten flashed around, the words echoed around, “everyone, flee immediately!”

and so he did. perhaps farther than he planned at first with the enormous swarm behind him. no matter where, it wasn’t safe—until he didn’t even know clearly where he was. and he’d remember the city layout, along with some areas outside of it.

he’s lost.

analyzing every path that he could take, his mind was too overtaken to realize a zombie spying overhead. only once the slight sounds of rasped growls did he notice—

and even so, a loud crack got it away from him. it’s dead now, he realized, and right beside the bloodied corpse was you.

“what are you doing, just standin’ here?” you asked, a small sign of irritation by the scowl on your face visible. but it remained flying over mitsunari’s head, even after you sigh, “it doesn’t matter—not now. come on, follow me.”

his surprise quickly dissipated as soon as you made your way into the twists and curves of an alleyway. you’re well-versed of here, he noted.

he took notice of many things on the way, how you’re always well armed with knowledge of the zombies weak spots, how they’re sensitive to noise, how you seemed to know which path would crumble if stepped on.

only when he entered where you stayed, a safe place, was he painfully aware how worn and tired his body felt—and you did too, quickly sitting him down and handing some snacks while also asking things about him. who he was, why he was there, so on.

he explained the breach, the split of his group, how he ended up here and you listened to every detail with your own cogs working along with his. “and where was your base?”

“nearby lake biwa.” mitsunari didn’t know where he was, but the way your face scrunched up didn’t seem too good.

“how did you even get here? lake biwa’s a good three cities—ah, fuck.” the constant tapping of your fingers did few to stave off either worry or just mild irritation, you didn’t know yourself. “and if you really did flee, there’s a chance they went in separate directions, too.”

he listened in you assessment, already making plans on how to search around in his head. but your proposition slightly baffled him—

“i’ll help you find whoever this group is.” with words that sounded kind, the slight discontent in your face went unnoticed by the other.

you yourself didn’t understand—years of wariness and distrust has led you to distance yourself from everyone—but why was it different with him?

“there is no need—”  /  “come on, it’s easier with two people right? you’ll go quicker.”

though words often harsh, mitsunari was a master in dismissing that with cluelessness. each time you declined that you wanted to help him because you wanted to, you kept saying it’s to be faster. but it didn’t matter to him, you were helping, and he cherished that.

days went on, with some city maps sprawled across the floor written on it some routes to search for. and maybe filling the air with conversation from time to time lifted your heart just a bit.

you’ve caught on his horrible self-care habits a long time ago. even as he’s very well-versed in most subjects (amazingly so,) he still read whatever book you had. and you’ve experienced his reading-trance.

you’d often scold him each time—especially in the instance of an expedition where he gets caught up in planning. even forgetting to eat would result in a disappointed gaze from you (rightfully so in your opinion, these were times of desperation from starvation). but he was improving.

you find yourself opening up to him, for the first time in a long one. the thought of sleeping in the presence of another made you revolt originally; but you felt safe with him.

soon, both of you’s efforts weren’t for nothing. traces of his group—”nobunaga” and “hideyoshi”, he told you—was temporarily taking base on the outskirts of the next city.

and suddenly, the concept of him leaving you created a pit of darkness inside. you’ll be alone, the walls will no longer echo your laughs and his soft voice; but instead silence.

from then on, you find each day a small struggle for it to stretch as long as possible. staying up just so you could feel being near mitsunari while awake, clinging onto whatever you could for now. it hurts, more than anything you’ve felt—but it’d be selfish for you to take him from the thing he’s spent this much time searching.

but the world wasn’t known for mercy, it never was since forever. time flowed as normal, and the day came. “. . .pack up a bit. it’s gonna be a long journey, and we’ll need to stay in some shitty abandoned house.” your voice came as a silent croak. mitsunari wasn’t often aware of picking up hints—but he was painfully aware now.

“. . .and why do you look so sad?” his words were spoken with gentle sadness, a tad bit of melancholy. as much as you wanted to avoid it for less damage to your heart, he already took your chin to tilt it to his face. you never wanted to say goodbye to his twinkling lilac eyes, it was the closest to warmth you’ve felt.

slowly. . .you were crying, sobbing. each shake from your shoulders sent painful stabs to mitsunari’s heart. and even as you were hurting—both of you were—you wrapped your arms around his, diving your nose to his chest.

“. . .i-i’m happy. . for you. i really am—.”

you didn’t remember anything else of that night, only the tender voice he spoke to you akin to bells from heaven jingling.

the next day, and the day after, the rest of the oda were found. overwhelmed by the many faces you didn’t know, you simply sat back and watched what would be your eventual farewell. you didn’t listen into what they were talking about; it didn’t matter much. at least you’d see him smile like that one last time.

only when he turned to you were you brought back to reality, staring with those earnest purple eyes. you know the others were observing in silence, you didn’t pay attention to it. only mitsunari. . .the one you. . .l-loved?

. . .yeah. you loved him.

he made his way to you. once you faced each other, he gently lifted your hands in his, and brought it to his chest. you felt the beats, ba-dump ba-dump, fast against his clothes.

“this may not be an easy request to ask of you. . .” he started. the fondness were now pooling in his eyes, and you were sure it was the same for you, “but. . . would you please stay with us. . .? my heart feels heavy of leaving you.”

—ranmaru:

it pained him, more than anything in his life. he wasn’t sure which would feel better, if the oda died and otherwise. from a breach that he caused. ranmaru wants to just disappear—but that wouldn’t be fair for a traitor like him, he didn’t deserve such mercy. he’s supposed to return to kennyo one way or another, but he just couldn’t. his legs kept on running and running—perhaps not from the zombies, but from his own swallowing fears and hatred for himself. it felt absolutely revolting to be in his own skin right now.

and for a moment, ranmaru considered if it was better. to just succumb to the pack of zombies in front of him. he knows how to fight them, maybe improv his way out—but he doesn’t want to. and just as his muscles fell limp in an act of surrender—

BANG—!

and that was the first time he saw of you; on the other side of the conglomeration of rotten flesh, gun pointed up to the air with no trace of fear or regret. and quickly, the attention of the zombies were quickly taken from him, and onto you.

and he felt the fear for you, you shouldn’t’ve done that for him. . .!

even so, there was nothing he could do. the last of he saw you then was you mouthing a clear word to him: “run.”

he did, and so did you. ranmaru’s mind screamed, scraping at the walls of his insides to not, but instinct and adrenaline took control more than anything.

he didn’t know where he was running—but wherever it was, you miraculously found him. and you managed to drag him to your base, no matter how many times he rejected.

as soon as you two arrive, he’s much more reserved than usual. not that you’d know, you just consider it normal to be that much quiet from a near death experience. you gave him food, a set of clothes, and water. but as time went on, you noticed he didn’t so much as touch it.

eventually, you had to push him to do it, even if his body felt sickening to its core. slowly, ranmaru told you little bits of his story, leaving out many parts (like the fact he was the orchestrating traitor). and just like mitsunari, you find an unknown source inside you just. . . allowing yourself to help him.

and because ranmaru wasn’t as much a strategist as mitsunari was, your execution was a lot more of wandering than anything.

and during those outings, you start to notice how weirdly capable he is. he’s switched back to his cheery, bubbly self, yes. but you catch how he’s so skilled with swords, sneaking around in inhumane silence. you waved your first encounter as a product of turmoil, and that he was as fragile that he framed himself, but. . .

the thought of him being a traitor to you, putting up a mask like that, it settled a churning feeling in your stomach. you’ve gotten so used to, enjoying even, his hugs and rambles—nights that were previously spent sleeplessly, just staring out the window and to the shit world splayed across it, were now filled with talks about silly and pointless things.

it reminded you of how it was before all this.

just like young school friends having a sleepover, you found a happiness and light feeling in you that was buried since quite a while.

along with that were times where you got serious. it wasn’t often, ranmaru would try to change the subject. but you were your own stubbornness; running away from something wasn’t a good way to go, you knew this.

and you’d always be aware of how his eyes seemed like a dark pit of untouched emotions. like the mere existence of the conversation was weighing him down a thousand pounds.

to add, you pick up on some inconsistencies to his stories. . .first he said  that the loud speakers in the building overrode the zombies’ sensitivity to sound and caused them to break everything like the windows and doors (even the locked ones, he added), then he said that it was because they were open in the first place. how he says only one person withheld the keys to certain places, then he said how said places were miraculously open later on. . .

you came to just a small conclusion.

“then, there’s a traitor, right?”

your words were toned in a way that was like just a throwaway line—unimportant, irrelevant—but ranmaru still tensed up, like a deer in headlights. fear, anxiety, regret; it all chipped away at him slowly.

and you’ve been friends for a good time now—you caught this. and it wasn’t just surprise either, it’s like he secretly knew.

in the end, an answer was never said. he just called it a night, and you let him.

it’ll be resolved in the morning, you thought, going back to your worn out mattress. and, just like many nights, you simply stared out at the sky with a mostly blank mind.

but then, you heard footsteps.

unstable, but not the way a zombie’s would. it’s not disarrayed, and they couldn’t get up anyway, not with all the security you set up. it can only be a human’s then. . .

you grabbed your crowbar, and silently left your room. a dark figure stood in the hallway, silently making their way to the stairs next floor. before you pursued, you tilted your head to ranmaru’s room.

it’s open, and empty.

your steps became quicker and quicker, hoping nothing bad happens as each staircase brought a chain of doubt and anxiety over you.

the rooftop. the figure—who you assume is ranmaru—stood in silence over the edge. the moon and stars’ light shone on them, and it was your dear friend. the soft purple-pinkish hair dusted over his head so perfectly, played by the breeze.

“ranmaru.” you called out. his body flinched. “what are you doing here. .?”

for a moment, he didn’t respond. you saw how his shoulders shook while his overall self was trying to make him as small as possible, but no words were said.

“answer me,” you took a step, hesitant, “please.”

“. . .i’m sorry.”

his voice was quiet, cracked, as if it could shatter at any moment. what were you supposed to do, seeing your dearest friend on the edge like that. . .?! all you could was reach your hand out—and take his.

“wh—” before he could say anything, you pull him into your arms, wrapping them securely around him. his shuddered breaths, then turned into sobs and cries. slowly and weakly, the hug was returned.

“. . .what am i supposed to do?” he sound so horribly lost, afraid, your own heart was ripping. “everything i do—the food tastes like sand in my mouth, every step feels wrong to take, i—i don’t know what to do!”

ranmaru broke down in front of you, and you let him. words were slurring into thoughtless ramblings and rants. there wasn’t a thing you understood completely, but—

“please, ranmaru, i. . .” your arms tightened around him. he’s alive, he’s safe. “please stay with me. we’ll get through this, just—i beg you, stay.”

[meditationnearme]

Is This Crazy New Treatment The Cure To Your Insomnia? - how do you reduce stress

NuCalm promotes itself as neuroscience-backed tension and sleep technology. In practice, though, it simply helped me nap. I recently awakened from a delightful 20-minute nap. Really, it was more of a 10-minute half-nap half-trance, preceded by ideas of what I required to accomplish today that slowly liquified into the types of non-sequitur visions that take place because earliest phase of sleep.

In some way, this was rejuvenating. For the last week, I have actually been checking out the NuCalm system. According to its website, NuCalm is "the world's only trademarked neuroscience innovation clinically shown to deal with stress and improve sleep quality without drugs." It includes a neuroacoustic software application app utilized for 20- to 120-minute increments, an eye mask and the abovementioned processing discs, and in practice includes listening to ambient, cinematic sounds (comparable to this) with your eyes closed and a sticker label stuck to your inner arm.

Each of the elements are designed to set off the body's parasympathetic nervous system, which aids with recovery and relaxation. The disc is created to launch gamma-aminobutyric acid, a neurotransmitter that inhibits cortisol and adrenaline. With this and the app, NuCalm halts your body's tension action and therefore the mental and physical toll tension can handle the body.

military, 49 sports teams and in over a million surgical treatments. Some dental offices even utilize it for clients who hesitate of the dental expert. NuCalm's 'bio-signal processing disc' Although the product is touted as a way of possibly healing the body from injury, addiction and physical concerns, it appears predominately useful for relaxation and anxiety.

By this procedure, my use of NuCalm was a success: After my 20-minute session this afternoon, I certainly felt far more refreshed and awake. While a few of my sessions kept me conscious the whole time, I at least felt a bit more relaxed than previously. At the start, I 'd believed I was supposed to treat the session like a meditation, preventing letting my ideas roam.

Why I was so focused upon events of this age during my session is a secret to me, but regardless, I think I still dropped off to sleep for about five minutes. Unusually enough, a FAQ section of the app states that memory recollection is a typical characteristic of "theta brainwave variety," and that recalling memories in this phase allows you to dissociate negative feelings from them.

Overall, NuCalm did enable me to take best little afternoon naps in a structured method. I am decent at sleeping as it is, but I do believe something about NuCalm, whether it be the discs or the noises or the timer, made those naps more effective than usual. One glaring problem with NuCalm, nevertheless, is its rate.

Perhaps as I keep utilizing it, I'll find that this is a totally reasonable expense for the advantage of much better relaxation, health and sleep. At this moment, however, I 'd pay possibly $10 a month. The app likewise requires some major upgrading, as it presently only uses 3 various session types (recharge, reboot and rescue) at differing lengths and with a rather cumbersome layout.

Instead, it feels rudimentary, with lesser parts of the app like the post-session debriefing FAQ totally nonfunctional. I have actually taken some fantastic naps this last week, and I'll keep utilizing NuCalm for this function. It's a nearly simple and easy way of fitting 20 minutes of pure relaxation into my day. Whether those bio-signalling dics do anything, I'm still suspicious in addition to a cleaner app, I 'd need to get a bit more trust in the science to pay $60 a month.

Magdalene Taylor is a junior staff writer at MEL, where she began working two weeks after finishing college. Her work is a mix of cultural analysis and service, covering whatever from reconsiderations of low-brow hits like Joe Dirt and Nickelback to modern disability issues, OnlyFans and the kinds of small concerns about life like why baby carrots are so wet.

According to the company, thirty minutes of NuCalm is equal to 2 to 3 hours of corrective sleep. The NuCalm website boasts that the de-stressing treatment takes simply 2 minutes to administer and less than 5 minutes to accomplish its effects, making it the extremely meaning of a quick repair.

With its sleek website and claims of high-tech, borderline-magic outcomes, I half expected my NuCalm experience to occur in the literal future or, at really least, a center that reeked of sci-fi vibes. I believe I was imagining a workplace that looked like the ship from Passengers and a large set-up reminiscent of the memory-implanting tech from Total Remember or possibly even a coffin-like pod directly out of The Fifth Component.

My NuCalm treatment was not administered on the set of a motion picture, but it also wasn't administered in a dental expert's workplace. On the early morning of my visit, I drove across Los Angeles to Santa Monica to the workplaces of an authentic medical professional to the stars, whose Hollywood customers includes starlets, authors and motivational masters, and who boasts know-how in energy medication, integrative medication and bioidentical hormone replacement treatment.

Rather, my NuCalm experience began in a (actively) dimly lit waiting room that looked more like the living-room of an eccentric, well-traveled college professor than a medical center. The doctor was fashionably late not with another patient, simply in getting to the office. While the tardiness might usually have actually frustrated me, here, it appeared like part of the experience, almost like a sneak peek of the outcomes of the high-tech treatment that awaited me.

Throughout a quick consultation, the physician discussed the NuCalm procedure and summarized the science behind it (more on that later). The gist of the system, I learned, was this: I would chew a tablet of gamma-Aminobutyric acid, or -aminobutyric acid (or GABA, for short), a repressive neurotransmitter suggested to decrease activity in my nerve system.

I would listen, through headphones, to binaural beat music music with two various balanced pulses that activates Alpha and Theta brain waves, which are connected with the very first stage of deep sleep and meditation. Likewise, I would be blindfolded. And, in Doc Hollywood's workplace, I would do all of this while lying on a waterbed although the waterbed, I learned, is not a standard or needed element of the treatment.

I was led to a small exam space (or, possibly, a large closet), where I was offered a big GABA tablet and told to chew but not swallow it while the medical professional marked time the binaural beats and connected the Biosignal Processing Disc to my wrist. Lastly, after what seemed like a much longer duration of time than it possibly could have been, I was informed to swallow the GABA vitamin sludge, which had the artificially sweet, fruity taste and distinctly milky taste and texture of Flinstones vitamins that are a couple of months past their expiration date.

The NuCalm treatment itself was completely pleasant. The music was calming but interesting (I've since registered for a binaural beats playlist on Spotify bless the web). The milky, orange-adjacent taste of the GABA tablet didn't remain in a particularly noticeable way. And the waterbed was warmed, that made for a relaxing place to lie down and rest.

What am I doing incorrect? Why don't I feel calm? If science can't make me chill TF out, am I just a lost cause? Perhaps if I do a body scan, I'll be able to feel the results. That's a good concept. I'm going to do a body scan. This will resemble mindfulness on steroids orange-flavored, healthy steroids.

I am broken. I was wrong. It was not practically over. Maybe it's the kind of thing you can't feel in the moment, however I'll observe a substantial distinction when it's over. I have a lot work to do. Stop thinking of work and being stressed. That beats the entire purpose.

I asked how typically he advised that individuals come in for NuCalm treatments and he stated that it differs, but that some individuals "need it daily." I couldn't help however think, based on my experience and the lack of concrete outcomes, that that appeared excessive. He handed me some research study further discussing the science behind NuCalm prior to rushing off to his next appointment, and I left sensation disappointed and a little anxious about my failure to feel less distressed through the treatment.

For the record, it's not. I discovered the experience to be a little New Age-y in practice, however the system really is based in science. Drawing from neuroscience research into the patterns the brain goes through throughout natural periods of relaxation, every component of NuCalm is created to simulate that process and prompt a stressed brain to switch gears to a more relaxed state.

NuCalm works specifically on the body's inhibitory system, the GABAergic system. This gadget is bio-mimetic in that it resets the naturally taking place negative feedback loop of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, which when properly functioning is expected to shut down and stop releasing cortisol from the adrenal glands after the end of a stressful occasion.

Individuals in this state are physically not able to have a distressed reaction. Within moments of application, users will start to feel remedy for the 'fight-or-flight' considerate nervous system action and their tension hormonal agent (cortisol) levels will start to decline as the HPA axis is hindered." Here's a quick breakdown of the science behind each phase of the NuCalm process.

It's really the primary repressive neurotransmitter system in brain circuits. Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid is a relaxation neurotransmitter that the body produces naturally when we're preparing yourself to sleep, so the strategy of utilizing GABA supplements to signify the brain that it's time to relax makes good sense. What's not completely clear, nevertheless, is how effective oral GABA supplements remain in triggering those advantages.

While some studies have actually revealed that GABA can cross the blood-brain barrier, others have shown the opposite, suggesting a possible placebo result behind perceived benefits of the supplements. Researchers agree that more research is needed to figure out how useful GABA supplements really are. According to NuCalm's website, the disc "simplifies the process of triggering the parasympathetic worried system, by tapping into the body's Pericardium Meridian with specific electromagnetic (EM) frequencies." The disc (which, again, was a round sticker, about the size of a quarter, that was used to the within of my wrist) was, undoubtedly, my greatest source of apprehension at the same time, and NuCalm's official explanation of the science behind it highlights the most Brand-new Age-y vibes of the company.

It is hypothesized that if you can restore the frequencies that take a trip through the Meridians you can reinstate ideal physiology. Each NuCalm disc holds the EM frequency patterns of GABA and its precursors to provide a pure biological signal to your body. When put on the within your left wrist, at your Pericardium-6 acupuncture point, the disc sends a signal to the pericardium of your heart to trigger regional parasympathetic nerve fibers, which then transfer the signal to your brain telling it to increase vagal nerve output and start the process of decreasing the body.

In 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP promoted a $120 brand name of bio-frequency stickers, leading to a short-lived viral moment for the tech. Sadly for proponents of the devices, the action wasn't fantastic, with Mark Shelhamer, previous chief scientist at NASA's human research division, significantly decrying the GOOP-endorsed product as "snake oil." Although the NuCalm site describes that "each disc holds the electromagnetic frequency patterns of GABA and its precursors to provide a pure biosignal to your body," it's unclear exactly how putting the sticker on your wrist sets off that shipment.

[dearinnerfatkid]

Fat-angst

CW: fat anxiety, fat angst, body hatred, body talk

Today is the tenth day of my exile for the better of the realm*. I’ve been writing about my eating habits and general relation to food, but the current climate has kinda sidetracked me.

I’m currently dealing with some elevated levels of fat-angst, compared to every other day, and the cause is two-fold. Due to the pandemic, the chain of gyms I work out at closed down in the 12th of March, they opened up again today but I still can’t go because I caught cold with a throat-itch that just won’t pass. This leaves me with a series of worries with varying levels of being realistic ones.

Despite all that stops me from working out, I still feel guilty for not doing it. I don’t owe it to anyone to do it, barely even myself.

I’m anxious about what this period of lax activity is gonna cost me in terms of progress, both my strength when it comes to lifting and my stamina overall, but probably most impact, decreased muscle mass. Even though I’m aware the a few weeks pause from the gym doesn’t in itself have to mean a massive drop in either of these.

I’m afraid that I’m just packing on the weight that I’ve worked so hard to shed. I catch myself imagining feeling as if my body is actively bloating and expanding when the anxiety hits me the hardest. Even if I’m not working out I am still trying to count calories. Admittedly I am struggling with controlling/subduing my appetite these last few days, so it’s not too unrealistic if this month’s weighing will become a disappointment.

What’s most worrisome and most realistic is the fear that this will cause me to loose steam. Not losing progress or gaining some weight back, but loosing whatever has kept me going so hard since December, because it’s something I can’t fully grasp or control. People have mentioned that they are impressed by my motivation, but I don’t feel motivated, more bull-headed than anything. And this might just be what breaks the bulls back...

All these things along with the social isolation and lack of physical interaction has left me spiraling a few moments and struggling with old mind-ghosts, like the state of my body repelling everyone around me and so on. Despite the cold I’ve been talking slow walks everyday, to handle the angst. I got the internet too, I’m trying to distract myself and focus on other stuff that I enjoy and poke and annoy people that I enjoy chatting with. I have made it a temporary routine to try and be clothed, at least on the upper body, as much as possible and not allow myself to spend time in front of the mirrors at home.

*I’m doing fine and I don’t want pity. I got everything I need and people to get me anything I might have forgot. I’m lucky to be able to pass quarantine as comfortably as I am.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Hana no Shou Yamazaki After Story Translation

My attempt at translating the 「薄桜鬼 真改 華ノ章」ステラワース早期予約特典　ブロマイド　 山崎烝 - Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Stellaworth Early Reservation Bonus Yamazaki Susumu short story from Chinese to English. 

Finally got around to finishing this... and honestly, after Saito, I like Yamazaki the most (for me, hijikata is 3rd for the feels trip, kazama is 4th for the lore and angst while harada is 5th). He’s just so adorable.... and I think his route is very sweet. Also I love how Shimada is when watching Yamazaki and Chizuru lol. 

^pic is me wanting to post this for no real reason aside from it being cute.

Anyway here’s my last post of the month so if you can, support me on ko-fi here plz~ https://ko-fi.com/V7V2W0HO also check out my “stuff i’m looking for list” if you own any cds since i am missing audio for a number of dramas i have Chinese translations for....

oh, and happy labour day weekend (well, to those that it applies to). Still really busy rn btw....

enjoy!

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Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Stellaworth Early Reservation Bonus Yamazaki Susumu After Story

Translation by KumoriYami

Yamazaki Susumu who had served as a member of the Shinsengumi's Watch/been a member of the Watch as part of the Shinsengumi for a long period of time, had been a doctor at the Yukimura clinic for half a year. And during one night——

Yamazaki, who was left alone in the clinic, heard/sensed a door open behind him.

"Susumu-san."

Looking back, standing there was his beloved wife —— Yukimura Chizuru.

"Do you want to take a break? Last night you were also reading late....

Her large eyes were full of anxiety. She looked very worried about Yamazaki.

Although he was very grateful for her taking care of him...

"Now isn't the time to sleep, I still need to remember the basics of LanXue/Western studies as quickly as possible, and I won't feel sleep at night.

[I left the term Lan Xue "蘭學” here since I'm not entirely sure of my interpretation of the phrase and put in "Western studies" since I recall that term from the game... which kinda seems to fit? Anyway, according to Wikipedia that was put through google translate, Lan Xue "refers to the Japanese Edo period by the Dutch incoming general term for Japanese academic, cultural, technological, academic literally Netherlands, the idea could be interpreted as the Western academic (referred to as oceanography ). Lanxue is a kind of learning developed by the Japanese through exchanges with the people of the island. Lanxue allowed the Japanese to understand Western technology and medicine during the period of the Edo Shogunate policy (1641-1853)." This was taken directly from from https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/蘭學.]

Yamazaki knows well that the books/studies he needs for the future will not be about Chinese medicine and acupuncture, but rather Western medicine based on LanXue/Western studies.

That said, it's not easy to understand the literature/words of a foreign country, so it is necessary to decrease [the time spent] resting to learn/study.

Chizuru, she should understand his way of thinking——.

"Please rest today."

Her admonishing tone in her speech left Yamazaki at a loss/ perplexed Yamazaki..

".....What’s going on? You wouldn't normally say that, would you?"

".............."

Her expression sank for a bit. Finally, she spoke....

"I think Susumu-san is as if he were back in the past, and I can't help but feel uneasy."

"In the past... like that?"

"Yes. Not only do you stay awake at night and give me the feeling that you were always fighting for the Shinsengumi... [it] felt that [you] were eager to die."

Hearing such an accusation without warning, Yamazaki could not say a second sentence.

However ——.

(Since I was watching my Chizuru all the time, there shouldn't be anything wrong/things should be okay) [says 我的千鶴 which is my Chizuru]

Looking back at his actions in the past months, Yamazaki deeply reflected on himself/his actions.

“Sorry, I worried you. However I'm definitely not in a hurry to die...."

His words stopped half-way. Chizuru (then) urged/pressed him [to continue] as she tilted her head.

What he said afterwards was really embarrassing, but if he didn't speak, he wouldn't be able to eliminate/dispel her worries/concerns.

"Do you remember the other day when Ibuki's wife brought their child over to play?"

"Yes, I remember it well. That child is very like his mother, truly cute/adorable."

"Seeing that child, I though: I can't allow these children to die before they grow up."

Although not all Western culture was good, he believed that Western medicine at least could help many people suffering from diseases.

"Susumu-san...."

Chizuru's eyes were full of admiration.

Then, she squinted her eyes and smiled.

"I think it's a very good idea. I also want to help my husband Susumu-san."

"Ye, yes...."

She spoke so bluntly, Yamazaki couldn't help but be confused and realized he could not remain calm.

When he heard this sentence (alt: these words) from Chizuru's lips [says mouth but I think it sounds better this way], he thought - it's truly wonderful that I chose her (alt: this might say - it's truly wonderful that she chose him) [this part of the sentence lacks pronouns... so it can be technically can be interpreted 2 ways].  

"But today please rest. It's not easy to get used to getting up in the morning and sleeping at night.... and lack of sleep can cause a misdiagnosis.

In actuality, he wanted to read more tonight....

“I know, today I will listen to you.  After all, when it comes to Western medicine, you are (my) senpai/predecessor.”

Yamazaki said that as he looked [alt: gestured, though i’m not entirely sure here] over the books.

"No, how can I be your senpai/predecessor...! I have nothing to teach Susumu-san."

"Don't be so humble. I was helped a lot by you when studying/learning Western studies.”

It's the truth, but to Chizuru, it was a very embarrassing compliment.

When he cleaned up his disk, Yamazaki thought of something.

“Speaking of which/by the way, we were just talking about Ibuki's child...”

"Yes. He is a very lovely child."

"Ah, yes.... ah. But, uh...."

Yamazaki was unable to truthfully speak about what he wanted to talk about, thus he hesitated.

Confused by his appearance, Chizuru blinked and asked.

"What's wrong? Is there something that you're worried/concerned about?"

"No, it's not...."

If spoken, would she misunderstand? This doubt kept Yamazaki quiet.

"If you want to say something, please speak. I want to know what you are thinking."

Having been urged by her, Yamazaki made up his mind to speak his thoughts.

"That.... I want/think (that) we should really consider it....."

"Consider, yes —— "

Because there wasn't an immediate indication of understanding what it meant, Chizuru looked/seemed lost for a while, then....

"Well..."

When she understood what Yamazaki wanted to say, her face was flushed. . “Oh, no! I don't mean to force you! Because it's an important time, and it's not too late to think about it before the clinic is developed.....!”

As he explained  in a panic, Chizuru spoke up.

".......I will think about it."

Her ears were red. After that, she stood up and left the study.

Only Yamazaki was left in the room.

(She said 【will consider】 does that mean....)

She is willing? Or does that mean she doesn't agree?

After that, no matter how he asked again, he did not get a clear response causing Yamazaki to spend countless nights in anguish. [:3 fufufu lol]

-fini- 

————

cyar all next month... still busy rn.... only 3 (harada, souji, heisuke) of these short stories are left from what I have been able to find... 

anyvey, i had to go and bawl my eyes out (not really, but i mean it figuratively, lol) since I finally got around to watching the Shitan Kazama-hen musical.... As a result of that, I’m now super motivated to work on my song transpositions from the original one.... as my motivation for doing arrangements was more than  dead once i lost my work since timing is seriously my bane when working on any music stuff... so hopefully i’ll be able to finish something within the next month.

再见!  

[aplaceforthesoul]

Anonymous submitted:

22/f

I’m sorry if this starts making less sense as I type more, I’m just trying to describe somethings that I’ve never exactly addressed before? So I’ve felt it and experienced it but never exactly tried to put it in words before.

So basically, I feel like I have a tendency to become emotionally dependent on people I date. I have pretty bad anxiety issues, that I’m working on slowly. Sometimes this leads to depressing days. Well in terms of emotional dependency, with my boyfriend, we haven’t discussed what to do once we graduate next year, because there is still a lot of time left and what can we discuss when we don’t know what is going to happen with ourselves once we graduate, we probably need to figure out our own future before we discuss one together. But we are very happy together. But I feel like it’s starting to feel like a ticking clock. It’s terrifying. And what makes sense is to talk about it when the time is right, and just be in the moment and be together right now. But the problem since, like an idiot, I thought about it so much, I keep thinking we don’t have enough time left together and we need to spend more time together. Because the thought of breaking up scares me so much! And I’m trying to spend more and more time together and trying to force it more, unlike earlier when it just happened naturally. And since I’m forcing it and doing it because of the fear of things ending, it was always at the back of my mind, those times that we spent together just weren’t nice and would get messy and just end up sad or fighting. Until one day he finally told me to calm down and stop thinking so much into it, we’ll figure it out when the time comes.

Second thing, with the quarantine, we’ve both gone home and are obviously in a long distance now. It’s going okay. We did long distance last summer and it wasn’t easy but we were really good together. But this time it’s different. Our uni exams are postponed and online classes are over so essentially our summer break has started. Except it’s still a quarantine. And I won’t say we are very good this time. I feel myself getting more and more need and annoying(my words, he does not let me talk bad about myself, which is a little too frequent), but I need to say how I feel. Obviously the pandemic majorly worked up my anxieties, but work through that. But now I’ll be honest, I’ve developed this strange obsessive behavior that I want to talk to him all the time! And at this point, we’re both just at home so there isn’t as much happening. So there isn’t much to say. And I think I hate that. And it’s not like we don’t speak at all, just not as much as last summer. And I hate that I’m comparing SO much! At this point I’m just fantasizing the past. We talk. And our conversations aren’t dull. They’re just not constant. And when we text, sometimes the conversation ends, which it never did last summer. And unlike me, he’s keeping himself busy because he’s not finding it easy to deal with the quarantine mentally either plus he has own things to deal with in terms of family, and he does talk about it but he finds keeping himself busy helps. Which I’m more than understand but it causes him to reply late. And he’s ALWAYS assured me that unless he’s busy or the phone is away, he will always reply as soon as he sees the message, and I know he does. Now he’s majoring in game design and I’m majoring in animation. So even thought, our year is over, we still need to keep working and practicing. And I know that I need keep my peace of mind and just keep myself busy too, and there’s plenty of things I need to do. Instead, I choose to sit and sulk and overthink that he has replied to my text for the past 1 hour! And then I get mad and we’ve spoken about this at least 3 times since quarantine started and each time he’s made an effort from his side. But why am I still so needy?! I understand everything. I understand his side, I understand the current situation. But despite understanding, it doesn’t change the way I feel! And I just choose to agonize over whatever I’m overthinking about. I just keep making a mountain of a mole hill. I just want to stop feeling this way. I don’t want to sit around waiting for a text like I used to in high school! I have things to do and I want to do them so badly but why am I like this? Please, PLEASE tell me how to stop overthinking nothing. I’m not being hard on myself, I’m just desperate not overthink every single situation. Why am I so obsessed with him now?I can’t tell you how anxious this is making me.  I just want to stop being so scared all the time.

After high school, I took a gap year and got into this horrible emotionally abusive relationship. He was gaslighting me the whole time, made me cut ties with friends, made me constantly feel shitty about myself. Always told me I was dumb and stupid, without fail. And also was always talking to other girls openly, was obviously cheating on me. But when I would confront him, he’d accuse me of not trusting him and that I was stupid. And the strange thing is I knew that I was the one who right, yet I chose to believe him and stay with him? He was very manipulative. Idk how to explain what I was like back then and why. But I’m out of that now and I’m in a good place now. I just feel he is a big influence in the way I am today. And I hate that.

In a few days it’ll be my first anniversary with this wonderful guy. I love him very much and I’m SO happy that I met him. But I don’t want to be emotionally dependent on him. I want to be fine on my own too. And I was for a long time. It’s not like I rushed into this relationship after my previous one, I didn’t even meet him till 2.5 years after. But I don’t want this emotional dependency. I feel like I’m so scared of losing him that I keep making up scenarios which makes me feel like I’ve already lost him. And in general, overthinking and being dependent makes me feel shitty. I don’t want to be dependent on anyone for anything! In high school, I used to dream about becoming the strong independent woman. I thought by now, I would have become one..but clearly not. Maybe for my previous relationship, I can say that my ex really prevented any chance of me becoming one. But in this one, he really pushes me to be better and encourages me to become one! Just because I’m in a relationship, doesn’t mean I have to lose my ability to be fine on my own. This quarantine is a good time for me to work on being by myself. I want to work on myself, mentally. But I don’t know how?

hey there <3 this makes a lot of sense, I think you’ve articulated yourself really well. I would agree with you, it sounds like your previous relationship is playing a big role in your current concerns around identity and anxiety. just something to note though, there is a difference between emotional dependence and emotional closeness. emotional closeness is good and healthy, it’s something you want in a relationship. being emotionally close with each other involves trust and authenticity and communication -- there’s nothing wrong with being emotionally close to someone. emotional dependence can definitely be a problem though (more detail here on what can define it), and I would agree that that’s what you’re experiencing at the moment.

it’s hard not to make comparisons sometimes, especially when what you’re comparing against (ie. last summer) was so happy and positive and good! but I think a contributing factor of that was the “honeymoon” phase of your relationship? and now that you’ve been together almost a yr, the honeymoon phase has ended, and that’s ok. it’s ok if sometimes the conversation just ends now, it’s alright if you sometimes have disagreements or whatever. it’s not that things aren’t as ‘good’ as last summer? just that you’re becoming more comfortable with each other, your love is more stable and habitual (for lack of a better word), 

I think this quarantine is testing you in a profound way, and I think you’re dealing with things pretty alright :* being forced to be in a long-distance relationship isn’t easy at all, being forced to face your anxieties and insecurities is confronting, the covid-19 pandemic is magnifying issues and isn’t helping at all but even though you’re struggling? you’re not completely falling apart, you’re looking for answers and a way through this. 

having read everything that you’re going through at the moment, it feels like a lot of the anxiety is rooted in fear of the future? and I guess a major aspect of anxiety is the unknown! next yr and after graduation is unknown for you, but it can help to start making plans. if you start to make plans then it can clarify things for you, and give you a goal to work towards too. there’s less uncertainty, there’s less to get anxious over because you know what’s ahead and how to prepare for it. the sooner you do it, the better it will be! but the longer you leave things, the less time you have to sort things out and the more your anxiety rises.

you’ve recognised that you’ve developed a bad habit fo obsessively wanting to talk to him all the time? so work on breaking that habit. I’m currently not working or studying at the moment, and I’m finding it so difficult to find the motivation to even get out of bed sometimes! however, I’ve started to write a daily list of things to get done? and it really helps to motivate me and to keep me accountable for getting shit done. so that could be something to try doing: write yourself a (reasonable) list of things to get done each day, tick them off as you get them done. doing that can help keep you busy and possibly avoid spending time over-thinking him not replying super quick.

when anxious thoughts start to take over, when you start to feel really on edge and panicky over him not replying? stop whatever you’re doing, breathe. do some focused breathing exercises (here and here) — deep breathing works to slow down your heart rate, decreases blood pressure, allows more oxygen into the brain so you can think more clearly, and also gives you something else to focus on as well.

sometimes knowing the logic of a situation doesn’t always change feelings ): all you can do is choose to make conscious decisions and actions to fight against the anxious feelings. write down a plan of action, a list of things to do to combat the anxiety. when you start to feel anxious and you feel yourself overthinking something? go back to your daily to-do list and find something on there to complete, or maybe go for a run (or some other kind of intensive exercise), call a friend, find a new recipe and bake something yummy in the kitchen, anything that takes your full concentration and attention.

some ideas on how to work on yourself / improve emotional independence:

keep busy, create daily to-do lists to keep yourself motivated and accountable, use affirmations to fight against anxious thought patterns (see here for examples). 

know that there’s a difference between emotional dependence and emotional closeness — it’s ok, healthy and good to have the latter. you can still be independent while being emotionally close with others, the two can coexist.

something else to try, spend 1 entire day without technology. turn off your phone, laptop, tv etc, spend the entire day focusing on you :) that way you have control over the temporary time apart from your boyfriend, and when you’re in control? you feel more empowered, and less anxiety. talk to your boyfriend before you do this haha, and explain why you’re doing it (ie. to work on building emotional resilience and overcoming anxiety), I’m sure he’ll understand and support you.

practise lots of self care, indulge a lot in things that genuinely make you feel happy and warm and positive :) maybe that’s having an extra long bath with epsom salts and essential oils, maybe it’s giving yourself a face mask and painting your nails, maybe it’s practising yoga or meditation, or solo sexy time, or baking, gardening, playing games? whatever works for you! the more time you spend doing solo activities that you find gives you pleasure, the more your brain starts to associate spending time alone with a positive feeling. 

this is such a long reply, apologies if it’s a little rambling at times! but I hope this helps you lovely, let me know how you get on <3

- tash

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE COURAGE OF DETAILS

They will have all the extra motivation that comes from being freed from the constraints of research. So far, we've reduced the problem from the direction of the arts, you're less likely to depend on this sort of calming lie is that we grow up thinking horrible things are normal. You could start users with a seed filter, but ultimately each user should have his own per-word probabilities based on the pie fallacy is stated explicitly:.1 Combine that with Pirsig and you get: Live in the future is to focus extra attention on specific parts of the email. Most hackers' first instinct is to try to think of startup ideas. As subjects got softer, the lies got more frequent. But if you yourself don't have good taste, how are you going to recognize a good designer? And the reason you should avoid these things is that you are already working as hard as you can in so many print publications—which is one of the first things he'll ask is, how much more.2 Let me repeat that recipe: finding the problem intolerable and feeling it must be very hard. In fact, faces seem to have made that deal, though perhaps it has to be able to filter them. I do, I look them straight in the eye and say I'm designing a new dialect of Lisp.3

In restoring your old car you have made yourself richer. At YC we call ideas that grow naturally out of the corner of his mouth is very disconcerting. This isn't quite true. Competitors commonly find ways to work around a patent.4 If economic inequality should be decreased. The source of the problem it fixes.5 The same is true in the arts, but most hackers are very competitive.

There is no such thing as better, it doesn't make any difference what Larry Page's net worth is compared to yours. Treat a startup as an optimization problem will help you avoid another pitfall that VCs worry about, and rightly—taking a long time it was most of making things easier, but now that the things we build are so complicated, there's another rapidly growing subset: making things easier. Windows itself.6 But really it doesn't matter much which you use. Why do you keep emails around after you've read them? The problem is not, in itself, what makes startups kick butt, but rather that small groups can be select. Marie Curie was on it because she was a woman, but as the corpus grows such tuning will happen automatically anyway.7 What are they to do? You pick the companies you want to get rich, and this trend has decades left to run. Right?

How do you tell whether something is the germ of a giant company. While the best way to discover startup ideas is to work with him on something. Kids, almost by definition, lack self-control.8 But it's not just fastidiousness that makes good hackers avoid nasty little problems. A viable startup might only have ten employees, which puts you within a factor of two? But I also think that the more different it gets.9 I've learned, to some degree, to judge technology by its cover. When you negotiate terms with a startup idea in one month, what if they'd chosen a month before the Altair appeared? What would you think of a financial advisor who put all his client's assets into one volatile stock? But that world ended a few years?

But you can't trust your opinions in the same way about the operating system. Notice all this time I've been talking about the limit case: the case where you not only have zero leisure time but indeed work so hard that you endanger your health.10 The unsexy filter is to ask yourself whether in your previous job you ever found yourself saying Why doesn't someone make x?11 Programs are very complex and, at least, by eliminating the drag of the pointy-haired middle manager who would be your boss in a big company: the pay's low but you spend most of your time working on new stuff. I wouldn't try to defend the actual numbers. Except in a few cases to buy a certain stock. Design by committee is a synonym for bad design. The Matrix have such resonance. Arguably pastoralism transformed a luxury into a commodity. Being at the leading edge of some rapidly changing field, there will be things that are false, and I'm going to talk about it to have anything more useful to say.12

Great programmers are sometimes said to be indifferent to money.13 Of all the approaches to fighting spam, from software to laws, I believe Bayesian filtering will be the single most effective. Don't spend much time worrying about the details of deal terms, especially when you first start angel investing. The part of angel investing that the decisions are hard. When I protested that the teacher had said the opposite, my father replied that the guy had no idea what he was talking about—that he was on the list because he was a programmer that Facebook seemed a good idea to have a mind that's prepared in the right startups is for investors.14 We were all lied to as kids, and some of the growth in economic inequality we've seen since then has been due to bad behavior of various kinds, there has been a qualitative change in the world. A job means doing something people want.

The way to kill it is to be young. This way you might be able to make something useful.15 I soon reached the conviction that much in the stories of the Bible could not be anything waiting for it. It was not till we were in our twenties that the truth came out: my sister, then about three, had accidentally stepped on the cat and broken its back. Instead of trading violins directly for potatoes, you trade violins for, say, approach offers as in this approach offers having a probability of more than. The reason our hypothetical jaded 10 year old leaning against a lamppost with a cigarette hanging out of the founders' own experiences organic startup ideas—by spending time learning about the easy part. If anyone wants to take on this kind of project. The cartoon strip Dilbert has a lot of other people's. Pay particular attention to things that chafe you. A company big enough to be fairly conservative, and within the company the people in the future, not now.16 So the guys you end up with special offers and valuable offers having probabilities of.

Notes

Down rounds are at selling it. Living on instant ramen would be improper to name names, while simultaneously implying that lies believed for a patent is conveniently just longer than the 50 minutes they may end up reproducing some of these groups, which is the odds are slightly worse.

Something similar has been happening for a reason.

Most were wrong, but investors can get done before that.

Give the founders.

It was harder for Darwin's contemporaries to grasp this than we can teach startups a lot more frightening in those days, then they're not ready to invest, it is still what seemed to us.

It was harder for you? Exercise for the talk to a car dealer.

Some are merely ugly ducklings in the production of high school kids at least bet money on convertible notes often have valuation caps, a market price if they did that in practice signalling hasn't been much of The New Industrial State to trying to focus on their utility function for money. So it may not be if Steve hadn't come back. They therefore think what they meant. So what ends up happening is that so many trade publications nominally have a single cause.

The existence of people we need to.

Different sections of the world as a definition of property without affecting and probably also the fashion leaders. Later stage investors won't invest.

We could have used another algorithm and everything I write out loud at least for those interested in each type of mail, I advised avoiding Javascript. One of the corpora.

After reading a draft of this essay, I have a standard piece of casuistry for this situation: that startups usually lose money at first had two parts: the source of food. Exercise for the talk to an adult. Throw in the King James Bible is Pride goeth before destruction, and many of the flock, or want tenure, avoid casual conversations with other people's.

If not, and B doesn't, that's not relevant to an investor derives mostly from the example of a type of thing. None at all. Which OS? You can build things for programmers, the work of selection.

So far, I suspect five hundred would be worth trying to capture the service revenue as well, but this sort of Gresham's Law of conversations. But an associate is not pagerank commercialized. A small, fast browser that was really only useful for one user.

It might also be good employees either. There is nothing more unconvincing, for example, would not be surprised if VCs' tendency to push founders to try to be staying at a particular valuation, that all metaphysics between Aristotle and 1783 had been Boylston Professor of Rhetoric at Harvard Business School at the mercy of investors want to stay in a limited way, without becoming a police state. But in most competitive sports, the computer hardware and software companies constrained in a place to exchange views. No Logo, Naomi Klein says that a company that could be mistaken, and—and probably also a second factor: startup founders are in a series.

Together these were the case of the growth in wealth, and there didn't seem to have too few customers even if the president faced unscripted questions by giving a press conference. This probably undervalues the company than you expect.

Dropbox wasn't rejected by all the best startups, the higher the walls become.

Thanks to Brad Templeton, Trevor Blackwell, Fred Wilson, the friends I promised anonymity to, Robert Morris, and Jessica Livingston for smelling so good.

[jennsepticeye]

Hi, yes, let's talk about how ADHD stigmas and what they actually mean from an actual ADHD person.

Hi, I'm Jenn, I'm 18 and I was diagnosed when I was 14 and have been taking Methylphenidate to help me function like a normal human being for 4 years.

There's a whole alphabet of abbreviations in here, so have a key

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

ADD Attention Deficit Disorder

SPD Sensory Processing Disorder

ASD Autism Spectrum Disorder

RSD Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria

ASMR Autonomous Sensory-Motor Response

ADHD and ADD effect everyone differently. Everyone. And it's really important to understand that because comments like "well you don't look ADHD" or "but you're so calm" can be really damaging to people struggling with it. It can be invalidating and trivializes how hard living with ADD really is.

Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD, is relatively common among kids and adults with Attention Deficit Disorders. This is basically when someone perceives an interaction negatively even though it might not be. If internalized, it can cause major depression and can be misdiagnosed as rapid cycling bipolar disorder. If externalities, it can appear as an anger disorder. Kids and adults with RSD are ultra sensitive to rejection, more so than non ADHD people. So if someone you know has ADHD it is important to make them feel wanted and be aware that externalized reactions are not ones they really have control over.

ADHD is not a childhood disorder. My brother is nearly 30 and still struggling with symptoms. Some children do grow out of it, and most do not.

ADHD people are not lazy. We're not. Not inherently anyway. If you're someone without ADHD I imagine it's hard to comprehend the complete lack of motivation that comes with such a disorder. I want to have good grades, and I want to get my homework done, but I am so easily distracted that tasks which take a neurotypical person 20 minutes will take me upwards of an hour. My brain is a constant cycle of "I'll do it later." I have a hard time prioritizing what needs to be done vs what I want to do. I could do my homework but I would rather read or write.

There are some overlapping symptoms between ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). I struggle with one of those symptoms, sensory processing disorder. Basically what that means is sometimes I get sensory overloads due to environmental factors that can lead to anxiety like attacks. There are also some sounds, textures, sights, tastes, and smells that absolutely do not agree with me. Velvet lined clothes are an absolute no go because the feel of velvet on my skin is liable to cause a sensory attack, scrambled eggs are the same way, and those phone dog whistles. Be mindful of people with SPD around you, and what triggers them.

Typically when you think ADHD you picture a kid with no filter running around the room, a trouble maker who can't sit still. And when you think stim, you either think ASMR or the ASD kid who yells all the time. There are lots of different types of stims and it's important for these kids to stim because it helps them function. Verbal stims are called echolalia. Kids who stim this way often seem obnoxious or unintelligent. They usually repeat something often, a quote or just noises. This is generally the least socially acceptable stim. But these kids aren't dumb, or unintelligent. They repeat those phrases as a way to maintain focus. If this is a stim that distracts or disturbs you, then be kind about it. Offer the person a place to work where they won't distract others, but can stim as they please.

Another stim is oral stims. These people usually chew on things, be it fingernails, coat sleeves, pencils or gum. There are several types of stim "toys" for this purpose. Rubber necklaces that prevent tooth damage while limiting and self destructiveness, like fingernail biting. Baby teething rings are a favorite of mine because they hold up well.

Tactile stims are the ones most commonly labeled toys. I know that fidget spinners now have a bad rap, but they were originally designed for people with attention disorders to stim with. But There are also other toys such as Tangles, Fidget Cubes, Spinner Rings and maze bracelets. If these appear in say, your classroom, don't rush to confiscate them unless they are more of a distraction to the students that a beneficial tool.

Tactile stimmers may also make repetitive motions that seem abnormal for neurotypicals, almost like Tourette's in nature. For instance, I clap the sides of my feet together or rub or punch my collar bone. You should only try to stop this behavior if it's self-destructive, because this is a stim that is helping that person focus

Auditory stims. I know we've all seen that person who needs music to focus, or someone who prefers silence. It can be problematic for some ADHD kids who need music to focus because in my experience I am easily distracted into singing along with the lyrics. Video game music is often composed specifically to boost concentration and I've found that movie soundtracks are a good option as well. If you're a teacher, be mindful of these students' needs.

Now lets talk about why this works. One of the leading theories for ADHD (be mindful that I'm not a doctor) is what I call the Floating Focus theory. As humans evolved we couldn't focus 100% on just one task. If we were picking berries we had to have been mindful of our surrounding to be aware of threats. This lookout side focus is called the "floating focus." In ADHD people the floating focus is overactive, which makes us easily distractable. I once spent an entire hour playing with a sequined pillow because I got distracted from some AP reading. With these stims, our floating focus is occupied on something, so we can't get distracted be something else.

(Bonus fact about floating focus: it's part of the reason some ADHDers seem to have awesome hearing because their floating picks up on conversations in quiet environments. For instance, I could be reading with my door closed and hear one parent say to another "should I call Jenn down to take care of the chickens?" And then I'll get up and head down before they've caked me)

I wanted to put this after the stims because it's not quite the same. Deep Pressure stim is another type. Kids who stim like this may wear compression shirts or weighted clothes, or use a weighted lap pad. I sleep with a 15lb blanket. This is a sub category for tactile stimming, but sometimes a useful tool in bringing someone down from a sensory episode. For instance I sometimes have my sister lay down on top of me and wearing a chest binder is a happy coincidence. They also train service dogs to do the same thing.

ADHD peeps are not always tired. The disorder really fucks with a person's sleeping rhythm, so an ADHD person might have a really hard time sleeping at night because their thoughts are really loud, or because boredom has a wild effect on us. A person with ADHD may have no problem staying up all night but they will be paying for it the next day, which is why they seem lethargic and tired. My sleep schedule is something I'm still working on, but a weighted blanket is often a great tool. (Currently premade ones are super pricey but there are a lot of resources for making your own).

ADHD people aren't slobs. Messy behavior can often be attributed to what's called "visual background-noise." Some ADHD people are messy because they've stopped recognizing the mess, it's just background noise in their visual field. Related to this, ADHD people may seem to know where everything is in their mess, which is often the cause of a reluctance to clean. If they clean then everything will be moved from where it was and they won't know anymore. There is also the reluctance due to lack of motivation.

There seems to be an ongoing commentary that ADHD people can pay attention if they choose to, and this is often said right after someone has done something efficiently. ADHD people can't choose really what they pay attention to. If something is done super efficiently is is often caused by what's called "hyperfixation" or what has previously been called "special interests." These are areas where an ADHD person can focus on a task often better than a neurotypical person. This isn't always good, especially in a case where the itself hyperfixation is bad, is not the assigned task, or if the focus is so strong that a person like me forgets to eat or sleep. You read that right. I honest to god forget to eat. I'll lose track of time and when I check, I'll have been working from 700 to 1500 without stopping.

Meds aren't inherently bad. Like I said I've been taking the off brand equivalent of Ritalin. Methylphenidate. Side effects if ADHD meds include disrupted sleeping pattern, decreased appetite and I sometimes get headaches when they wear off. Last year I lost 10 lbs because of my meds. Meds like Ritalin or Adrerall can also be semi addictive as an ADHD person becomes dependent on their effects. However, if in the right dosage and paired with other non chemical methods, meds can do a lot of good. I am completely nonfunctional in a classroom environment without my meds. This is the case for a lot of people. If you demonize treatments like Aderall then people who need them are less likely to get the help they need. I said at the beginning that everyone is different, this means that the treatments are different for everyone. Do your research and listen to your physician. Don't rush do slander a med because it didn't work for you.

[thebl00dmaster]

Re:Servants part 6

And I’m back with another part of Servant profiles for the creation! This one took way longer than it should have in part because of procrastination and a lack of inspiration at some point but now it is here ! This Time we have Hikayu and Sho. After consideration I will do Sexy!Meteora and Charon  and maybe do some Alter version of some of the characters afterward. 

More under the cut. I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Hikayu Hoshikawa, Extreme Final Legend Martial Artist

Primary class : Alter Ego     Secondary class : N/A

Alignment : Neutral Good

Strength : A Endurance : B- Agility : B+ Magic : B- Luck : C

Skills :

Pure Heart of the Innocent Maiden (C-):

Due to her  bashful nature and innocent view on love, Hikayu is easily flustered when mention of her skimpy “battle” outfit or to inappropriate things (especially from the original version of her source material) are made however she’s a kind-hearted soul and will not tolerate people dashing others’ hopes and mocking what is dear to their heart. Grant more power as well as a minor boost in protection against Evil Servants.

Illusory Might (A) :

Hikayu’s powers were granted during the Elimination Chamber Festival thanks to a Fan Disk from her creator to allow to her usually non-combatant self to fight Altair. However this created a quirk when she was recorded into the Throne of Heroes: this Heroic Spirit is an amalgam of both her dating sim version and her martial artist version as it was the former that was summoned into the world and then the later’s power were grafted upon her for the event in addition to said power being easily stripped away in her confrontation with Altair, therefore she can only muster her full strength for a relatively short amount of time before turning into her depowered form until she recovers. In her depowered state Hikayu’s parameters (beside luck) decrease to E- rank and her skills (beside Pure Heart of the Innocent Maiden) aren’t available, however in counterpart other Servants don’t gain knowledge of her abilities, even if she tell them her name, or recognize her as a Servant in that state unless they have True Name Discernment or have met her beforehand.

Mastery of Fantastical Martial Arts (C-) :

While called a martial art legend her technique is more in line with the pop culture version of Chinese martial arts than actual martial. While powerful her moves are fancier than effective she can still put the hurt on her opponents and is competent enough not to be taken lightly in a fight, especially when she’s motivated, though actual expert martial artist will punish her greatly for any opening she presents.

Noble Phantasm :

Killing Cosmos Hell Fist [B+](Anti Unit) :

Hikayu recites “Righteousness is more noble than thou! Thus, I say there is nothing in all creation more noble than righteousness!  Kassatsu Banryu! Arhat, who has crossed the two rivers, Thy fist shall turn to Vajra! Killing Cosmos Hell” before violently striking the ground with her fist, unleashing a devastating wave of Ki pulverizing the ground and producing a dangerous shockwave knocking back any one in its way.

Secret Lethal Strike! Gorai Kassatsu Cosmic Hell Fist [B+](Anti Unit):

After jumping high in the air Hikayu whirls her nunchaku while calling her attack and surrounding herself in a sphere of Ki before hurling herself fist-first toward her opponent unleashing tremendous amount of energy upon impact.

Kassatsu Hakugeki Retsuzan [B- ?] (Anti Unit ?)

One of Hikayu’s nunchaku branch turns into a wrecking ball-sized flail head. The properties of this noble phantasm are yet unknown but the Mage Association’s observations show that beside the obvious increase in destructive power and unwieldiness this form seems to charge with mana before impact.

Originally a character from the all-ages version of the adult dating sim “The Milky Way of a Starry Sky”, this pink-haired high-schoolgirl was turned into a martial artist thanks to a Fan Disk for the purpose of having her fight in the Elimination Chamber Festival, though retaining her meek personality and is easily flustered when attention is brought to her skimpy qipao or to less wholesome aspects of her original work. Despite being more concerned by romance (and the fact that her private life have been on display for anyone to see) she’s no slouch when it comes to fighting and doesn’t back down even when embarrassed, especially against people that toy with what others hold dear. For all her strength she’s not as taxing when it comes to Mana as other Servants of her caliber however due to a quirk in her recording as a Heroic Spirit Hikayu enters a depowered state if she’s at full power for too long, though the period can be extended to a point by using more Mana, rendering her near powerless as a Servant for at least a couple of days and forcing the Master to pick their battles with extreme care.

 Sho Hakua, Bane of Arajin

Primary class : Lancer   Secondary class : N/A

Alignment : Chaotic Good

Strength : B+ Endurance : B Agility : B+ Magic : C- Luck : C

Skills :

Battle continuation (B) :

Due to his infallible determination, Sho will fight to the bitter end even with his guts spilling out and his bones shattered.

Hot Blooded (C+) :

Befitting his role as an action hero, Sho is a hot-headed youth eager to fight and determined against all odds, giving his all even if all seems lost. This can be a detriment however as his emotions can get the better of him in the heat of battle and be abused by his opponents … or his Master. Give a slight parameter increase in both Strength and Endurance when active.

Street fighting (C+) :

While seemingly more formally trained in martial arts than Yuuya, Sho still has been mainly fighting in the streets and have picked on some tricks to survive his encounters there. However against a properly trained opponent this fighting style may prove ineffective.

Noble Phantasm :

Bayard,the Knight in the Mirror [A+](Anti Unit):

Sho’s Astra Double resemble a metallic centaur knight with spear-like legs and a lance instead of an arm, it is unclear whether or not it’s related to the mythical steed of the same name or to “the knight without fear and beyond reproach” (if it’s related at all) but nevertheless this steel-clad cavalier possess a frightful ability : attacking from any reflective surfaces, manifesting its lance at break neck speed moreover Bayard can strike simultaneously from several surfaces at a time (like glass shards) riddling the foe with pikes and can perform a powerful stab if Sho smear his blood on a piece of glass. Sho can still summon it outside reflections to fight his opponent the same way Yuuya does, in the same vein as Hangaku Bayard’s parameters are based on Sho’s and with the same additional Mana cost.

The protagonist of Underground Dark Night and rival of Yuuya, Sho is seeking vengeance upon his former friend after he allegedly murdered his sister as well as some of their companions and for that purpose he was granted power by a medium. Heroic, if somewhat cocky, and eager to fight Sho demonstrate a strong determination even when in over his head as well as a mastery of his Astra Double: Bayard. However Sho is hot-headed, preferring to let his fists do the speaking, and his desire to avenge his loved ones can lead him to get tricked by those who claim to help him in quest. While he desires vengeance he’s not so consumed by it to the point of being eligible to be summoned as an Avenger under normal conditions.

[confessions-of-a-former-fat-guy]

New Project

I had a thought today as I was staring at my newly (re)developed belly in the mirror. As I poked and shook it, I was internally complaining about getting fat again. Poor me. Fell off the wagon. Ate some cupcakes. Fucked around with that chub life. Poor food addicted fat boy who wishes he looked like those fellas on the Instagram with their abs and veiny biceps. Then another thought popped in my head.

“Don’t wish for someone else’s reality. Yours is 100% within in your control. You can make it whatever you want. Don’t complain about your reality if you’re doing nothing to change it.”

I left my CrossFit gym a couple months ago. Not because I don’t love CrossFit anymore. I do. I really, really do. Not because I don’t like the coaches or other members. Not even remotely the case. I love those people to death. I believe in CrossFit. I believe in the programming, the results, the culture, and the family. What I stopped believing in was myself.

I can actually pinpoint the moment doubt crept into my mind. I had just finished the row in workout 17.4 (the repeat of 16.4) of the 2017 CrossFit Open. In 2016 I didn’t finish the row. In 2017 I finished the row with about 5 minutes left. I was way ahead of my previous attempt. I was excited to step over to the handstand pushups because I had just recently gotten my first few and I had a lot of time to hopefully get a couple in before the 13 minutes was up. As I approached the wall, though, my vision started going. My head started spinning and things went dark. I went down to one knee and tried to shake it off, but it was no use. I spent the last 5 minutes of that workout just trying to stay conscious. Before that moment I had never doubted myself inside the CrossFit gym. I had never once felt like I couldn’t handle the workouts or the weight or the intensity. That all changed in that moment.

Those dizzy spells haunted me for another couple months. Sometimes they were faint, others they were intense. I tried to ignore them and push through in my workouts, but there were times I had to stop and find my footing. I had to focus a lot more on my breathing than I ever had before. I started questioning whether I could handle the workouts anymore. I was terrified to go upside down, so handstand pushups and rope inverts were out of the question. I was afraid of pushing too hard because I may pass out, so I lifted less weight than I knew I could. I ran slower than I knew I could. My pace slowed on everything. I was shaken and looking back now, more than a year later, I don’t think I ever fully recovered.

The thing about losing your confidence is that it doesn’t just affect your performance in the gym. It follows you around, messing with you every chance it gets. You start to make questionable decisions. For me, it was to start skipping workouts when I didn’t feel 100%. Non-gym time became couch time. Couch time became eating crappy foods time. Before I knew it, I was 15 pounds heavier and only going to the gym two or three times a week instead of five or six.

I did right the ship for a while. I forced myself back into my old lifestyle of eating clean and going to the gym just about every day. I did well for a few months, but that doubt was still there. I was still finding myself holding back from the level of effort I knew I was capable of. My times got worse. My strength started to fail. My capacity for intense training decreased to an almost beginner level. People I used to run circles around started blowing by me.

That was the tipping point for me. I’m not an overly proud human. I don’t have a huge ego. You’ll never hear me say I’m the best at anything or that I’m even better than anyone at anything. I am very self-aware, though. I know what I can do compared to what other people can, so when I started getting blown out of the water by just about everyone around me, I couldn’t take it. I started avoiding the gym. My internal dialogue turned to self-hate, disgust, and shame. I started hating the idea of going to the gym and being embarrassed about what I suddenly couldn’t do anymore. I needed a break.

That’s where I am now. Earlier I said I left my gym. I haven’t left for good. I like to think of it as a mental health hiatus. I need some time to fall in love with the work part of working out rather than hating myself because person X can suddenly squat 40 lbs more than I can or person Y’s Fran time is a minute faster than mine. I need to work out for me. I need to sweat and push myself because it’s what I want for me, not because I think I can do better than so and so. I’m lucky that my wife and I were in a position to equip a home gym with absolutely everything I could possibly need to be successful. Programming my own workouts is a challenge. Finding the motivation when the only person I have to answer to is myself is a challenge. But I’m getting there. I’m making it work. And little by little I am falling in love with putting in the work. I still slip from time to time. I still come home every now and then and put relax shorts on and eat half a pint of Halo Top instead of going down to our basement gym. I ate clean for the better part of four years, though. I worked out consistently five or six days a week for almost three years. I have been disciplined, motivated, and hard working before and I’ll be damned if I can’t do it again.

Sometimes we need something that shocks us back into reality. My reality right now is that I’ve put on weight. I’m having a hard time saying no to things I know I shouldn’t eat. I’m having a hard time working out as hard and as often as I know I should. My reality is also that I know I can do better. I know I have it in me to make my reality whatever I want it to be. If I want to look like those guys on Instagram who apparently don’t own shirts, I can do that. If I want to run a sub six-minute mile, I can do that. If I want ring muscle-ups, I can get them. I can do anything. It just takes work and discipline. Two things I am not afraid of.

Something that helps me immensely is accountability. It’s something I think a lot of people nowadays lack. It’s hard to hold yourself accountable, so what I’m doing is starting a new Instagram account. Every day I’m going to post everything I eat and all my workouts. I figure if I did this on my “real life” Instagram account everyone I know would end up hating me. This way only people who give a crap about how I’m turning things around can tune in. My thought is that knowing people are paying attention will keep me honest. Knowing people can see my progress and track the work I’m putting in will only aid in pushing me to be my best. If I can’t be accountable to myself at least I can be accountable to the people that care about me. And who knows, maybe I can even inspire someone along the way.

My Instagram for this project is “dobettersuckless”. Give me a follow, if you want. If you don’t, no big deal. But if you do decide to follow, please know encouragement is welcome, as well as calling me on bullshit and failures.

[empmoniitor]

2021 UPDATE: PRODUCTIVITY TIPS FOR EMPLOYEES WHO HATE PRODUCTIVITY TIPS

It might not come to you as a shocker, but we all hated being lectured for getting started on our assignments on time back in the college days. In the end, it was just a matter of scoring better CGPAs, and none of these were going to help!

Notice the anomaly here- traditional approaches of staying focus does not work for everyone. Reading productivity tips when you know you can’t follow them is equivalent to watching a DIY Christmas Cake tutorial- who’s going to cook it?

Then why read this blog?

Because I’m in your shoes!!

BEING UNPRODUCTIVE IS A MYTH!

BEING UNFOCUSED IS THE TRUTH

Here’s a little secret- you can NEVER be unproductive when you’re all happy and gay (though overwhelming happiness may distract you). As you might already decipher, the most dangerous productivity killer is the lack of focus. It roots from various factors like a lack of motivation, discipline, a highly distracting environment, etc.

There are numerous ways to know if you are unproductive, but let us break some of them down to understand if you fall on this side of the spectrum.

09 UNPRODUCTIVE HABITS YOU NEED TO ASSESS

One might have a few of these habits, but a total of more than four of these is a CODE RED for your work zone, sergeant. And you might want to skip to the productivity tips ASAP. Okay, so here are the non-productive habits:

1. PROCRASTINATING

The more you keep putting something off, the less likely you would feel like doing it any soon. In the end, you might think you can complete your tasks on time, but you would still be running late every time you have a deadline.

2. NOT HAVING STRUCTURE AND TAKING TOO MANY BREAKS

Sergeant Crazy might think it’s a good idea to have a rigid structure, but to be honest, it is more of a flexible thing that revolves around your circadian rhythm. Being a night owl is not a punishable offense, after all, but you got to organize your day accordingly.

3. NOT SETTING ANY GOALS OR SETTING TOO MANY GOALS

Oopsie doopsie! And you wonder why you need productivity tips? :3 Setting goals for a day can be confusing, especially when you’re new. But if it has been months and you still feel stuck, boy are you in trouble!

BTW, HERE ARE

04 TIPS TO MOTIVATE YOUR REMOTE EMPLOYEES

4. DROPPING EVERYTHING FOR OTHER PEOPLE

You are in complete control of your life and your time- so respect it. There’s no harm in sparing some innocent minutes out of your working hours in assisting a colleague. But, always remember, once you actually start working on their behalf, there is no going back! Adios, amigo.

5. SUSCEPTIBLE TO DISTRACTION

How often do you keep your hands off your doggo now that you are working from your home? WFH comes with responsibilities and distractions, but you cannot keep falling for it every damn time.

6. CLASHING PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL LIFE

Keeping your social life off the table should always be the protocol when working- unless there’s something urgent. You cannot be communicating with your client while having dinner with your family. Crossing the narrow boundary between your personal and professional life is another CODE RED.

7. STARTING SOMETHING AND NOT FINISHING IT

The last 10% of every project takes about 90% of our energy, and it’s fine. But you don’t have to feel so intimidated by it that someone else would have to finish it for you! If you can relate to the second part of this paragraph, you are in for some serious trouble.

8. CONSUMING UNNECESSARY INFORMATION

Mental clutter can be more overwhelming than physical clutter- in both work and personal life. Thus, if you’re frequently drifting off to random answers on Quora while marketing your content, you might as well proceed ahead with the productivity tips.

9. FAILING TO ADMIT MISTAKES

A little birdie lived in denial and never learned how to fly. Denying and failing to admit your mistakes is only going to make it worse. Worst case- blaming it on others- is going to do nothing. Do you have this habit? (Don’t worry. It’s safe to tell me.)

HOW TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE?

07 BEST PRODUCTIVITY TIPS  

Here comes the pep talk. No. I’m not going to preach anything about getting started early with your day and taking a walk. Sleep all you want, but not at the cost of your pretty, pretty JOB!!

So, here is your productivity tips for becoming a better, more focused employee at work:

1. ASSESS YOUR PRODUCTIVITY GRAPH

Every person has a different circadian rhythm (an internal process that regulates the sleep-wake cycle). You need to assess yours to know your peak productive and non-productive hours.

There are various ways to detect it, like the AutoMEQ Test, Daniel Pink’s 3 Questions Test, or you can use productivity tools like EmpMonitor to understand and assess your individual and team productivity graph.

This way, you can understand when and how you work. You can take up new tasks accordingly and work on the old ones at your own convenience.

2. SCHEDULE IMPORTANT AND UNIMPORTANT TASKS

Once you understand your productivity graph, you can schedule your emails to the least productive time of your day- say the afternoon. Then you can work on your most time and energy-consuming tasks in the evening- or whenever you have your productivity spur.

However, you must never confuse the concept of urgent tasks with time-consuming tasks. It doesn’t matter if you’re feeling like a boiled potato right out of the pot- you have to start working on the urgent project and put away that damned email for the moment.

Here’s how you must prioritize your tasks:

1. Important, urgent.

2. Not important, urgent.

3. Important, not urgent.

4. Not important, not urgent.

3. TAKE BREAKS. NEVER TAKE TOLL ON YOUR HEALTH

When you’re out of breath, you’ll have far less energy to work further. You can’t keep pushing through to complete an urgent task by delaying a break. One of the best productivity tips is to take breaks at scheduled hours and never skip them- come what may.

Drink more water. Don’t be dehydrated. Work in 90-minute blocks with 10-minute intervals to recover and refuel. It works for a lot of people. Some people tend to get carried away with their work- but it will only make things worse.

For starters, you will get tired in the first half itself. Plus, you will lose motivation and focus. In the long run, you may even lose creativity. How are you even going to continue for a day, little fella?

AND OH, HERE’S A LITTLE

WFH UPDATE: HOW REMOTE WORK CULTURE AFFECTS SENSITIVE SECTORS

4. SET GOALS. ALWAYS MAKE LISTS

Apart from a “TO DO” list, you must always have a “STOP DOING” list as well. Hear me out- Steve Jobs said that what made Apple Apple was not so much what they chose to build, but all the projects they chose to ignore.

So you must know what you choose to do and don’t for the day. Laundries? Yes. Groceries? No. Emails? Yes. Instagram? No.

When you check for the things you accomplished for the day, not only do you have a sense of satisfaction, you also feel more in charge of yourself. This way, you can stay more organized about the work you do every day without worrying about the deadlines (because you’re always aware of it!)

5. MAKE MORNINGS BEARABLE WITH RISEUP

Night owls, hear me out- I know it sucks being awake at 11 already.  I’m one of you. Hello! How you doin’?

Do you want to make the mornings a tad bit easier? Here’s your trick. Follow the RISEUP acronym:

Refrain from snoozing the alarms.

Increase the first-hour activity.

Shower or wash your face after brushing.

Expose yourself to direct sunlight.

Upbeat music will lift the mood.

Phone a close friend.

Okay, so here’s a catch- everything that I mentioned above is going to manipulate your circadian rhythm into thinking that you were awake for REALLY long. As a result, you won’t feel dizzy. You’re welcome.

BONUS, READ-

05 BEST WAYS TO MEET DEADLINES WHEN YOU’RE NOT A MORNING PERSON

6. STOP MULTITASKING

Dividing your attention between multiple tasks increases your overall mental stress and decreases your focus. As a result, You can never complete the assigned tasks on time if you work on all of them parallelly.

Begin with the most urgent one that sucks the least of your time and effort. Once warmed up, start working on the task that is urgent as well as time taking. Take frequent breaks and organize your day in a way that you can complete all the tasks before the deadline.

Multitasking is one of the worst productivity tips that one can give you. Always focus on one task at a time. Never jump from task to task whenever you’re bored, or you will soon run out of motivation for the day.

7. LIMIT YOUR DISTRACTION

Easy to preach, hard to follow- I know. But isn’t it quite obvious? Jassie Gill might light up your mood once in a while, but does he let you work for at least ten minutes straight? Listen to music only when it doesn’t distract you. Try to limit your social media interaction during your working hours.

Logging out of Instagram isn’t a viable solution- you will crave more for it. Check your notifications only during breaks. Also, avoid binge-watching television and Netflix when working.

Set your laundry timings and other chores for your lunch hours. Visit the market in the evening or on the weekends! Long story short- keep yourself from getting distracted- one of the most effective productivity tips. It’s easy to fall for all these, then why take a chance?

QUICK REVISION

Here comes a ghost hug for all the beautiful people who are still reading.

Below is a list of habits that an average non-productive person might have:

1. Procrastination

2. Not Having Structure and Taking Too Many Breaks

3. Not Setting Any Goals or Setting Too Many Goals

4. Dropping Everything For Other People

5. Susceptible To Distraction

6. Clashing Personal and Professional Life

7. Starting Something and Not Finishing It

8. Consuming Unnecessary Information

9. Failing To Admit Mistakes

Here’s a list of the BEST productivity tips:

1. Assess Your Productivity Graph

2. Schedule Important and Unimportant Tasks

3. Take Breaks. Never Take Toll On Your Health

4. Set Goals. Always Make Lists

5. Make Mornings Bearable With RISEUP

6. Stop Multitasking

7. Limit Your Distraction

ALSO READ,

15 PRODUCTIVE THINGS TO DO WHEN WORKING FROM HOME

HOW DIGITAL FORENSICS CAN HELP TO INVESTIGATE DATA THEFT?

7 WORKPLACE MONITORING LAWS OF DIFFERENT COUNTRIES: LEGAL RESTRICTIONS & BEST PRACTICES

BEST STRATEGIES TO IMPLEMENT TEAM WORKLOAD MANAGEMENT

THE BOTTOM LINE..

All those productivity and motivational quotes might look great on your status- but let’s be honest here. You can only achieve true success by working on yourself and being honest with your work. A day or two may go unproductive when you’re going rough with your life. Rejuvenating with fun activities might help, in that case, and productivity tips might not. In the end, it’s a matter of how well you want to improve your workflow.

SEE YOU LATER, ALLIGATOR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Originally Published On: EmpMonitor

[quicksilversquared]

Misusing a Miraculous

The Miraculous aren't supposed to be used for evil. Doing so completely goes against their purpose. Mr. Agreste knows that; Nooroo told him so right from the start.

What Nooroo didn't tell him was that there was a reason for that. Because when magic is forced to do something it does not want to do, there are consequences.

(AO3) (FF.net)

Things were not going as Gabriel Agreste had planned, not at all, and he was quite ticked about it.

He had thought that he would get better at making akuma as time passed. His power was supposed to grow as he used it, right? As he got more accustomed to it, he logically should be able to make more powerful akuma that would pose more of a challenge to Ladybug and Chat Noir, or maybe even more than one akuma at once. It just made sense. If you practice something, you get better at it. And perhaps he had gotten better, at least for a while. But now?

Now, his control seemed to be getting worse, and quickly, at that.

He had had akumas talk back, question his judgement, completely ignore him, and even turn against him (he was never akumatizing any robots again, ever). Maybe he occasionally got one with super-strong powers that stayed relatively under control, but for the most part his akumas weren't any stronger than they had been when he was first starting out.

And the worst part of it? Ladybug and Chat Noir were definitely getting better. They were working more in sync, they seemed to be finding new ways to use their weapons, and they were even coordinating with the police and reporters to make sure that civilians weren't getting in their way during fights and distracting them. It was quite irritating.

It was making Gabriel very, very frustrated.

"There has to be some way for my akumas to be getting better without me losing control over them!" Gabriel complained loudly as he paced in his lair. He was running out of ideas on how to fix the problem- actually, that was sort of a lie, he hadn't had any ideas on how to fix it in the first place- and he had to fix it before he turned into the laughingstock of the city. People were already sniggering about some of his akuma and how ineffective they had been. For someone who was used to being taken seriously, it was infuriating. He spun on Nooroo. "Nooroo! Why aren't my powers working properly? Are you messing with them somehow? I forbid you from messing with my powers!"

"It's not me!" Nooroo squeaked, shooting out of Gabriel's reach. "It's not my fault, I can't control it! It's the magic!"

Gabriel stopped and stared at his kwami. Clearly Nooroo knew something about what was going on. "What do you mean, it's the magic? It is your magic! Fix it!"

"The goals of kwami and wielder are meant to mesh!" Nooroo protested loudly. "If they're in conflict, like they are for us, then the magic will start to rebel. Your connect to the akuma will start to break up, and they won't be under such a deep hold. And the more often the magic clashes, the more the rebellion."

"That sounds like some convoluted excuse to try to get out of transforming so often," Gabriel snapped. "Why don't you align your goals with mine, then? I want to get the Miraculous to help me find my wife. That's an admirable goal, right? Work with it."

Nooroo glared at him. "That's not how it works! I can't just decide to change my goals around like that!" He crossed his arms. "Besides, don't even pretend that finding your wife is your end goal. If that was all you wanted, you would just find someone to be a champion to find her. That's all it would take, and I know you know that."

Gabriel scowled.

"And besides, my goals will never include being pitted against other Miraculous!" Nooroo finished, looking rather rebellious. "They never could! I'm supposed to be used for good, not to terrorize a city!"

"SILENCE!" Gabriel thundered, and Nooroo cowered back. He glared at the kwami as he tried to make sense of the storm of thoughts racing through his mind with the new information that Nooroo had let slip. It was possible that the kwami was lying about the magic to try to decrease the number of attacks that he made, but no matter how much Gabriel wished that that was the case, he couldn't shake the feeling that the kwami was probably telling the truth. All of his especially rebellious akumas had, to the best of his recollection, come after he had sent out akumas every day for nearly a week. He tended to take a day off after those especially disastrous attacks- several days off, in some cases- and then when he attacked again, his akumas tended to be more under his control, like they had been at first.

So unfortunately, it appeared that the best way forward was to attack Paris less frequently. Perhaps he should try every other day, or every three days, and see how that affected his attack strength. He didn't want to take it down much further than that, but if he had to choose between making an akuma that was actually strong only once a week and making akumas that ignored him and turned on him, then the choice was simple.

That didn't mean that he was happy about it, though. Sitting around waiting was not his style.

   Despite decreasing the number of attacks to a measly two per week, Gabriel was still seeing a downward trend in the amount of control he had over his akuma. It was better than before- just the last week, he had managed to steer his butterfly away from a crying baby when his initial target cheered up enough to not be possessed, and he had managed to keep it loose until he found a suitable candidate- but he had still had one akuma wander away, and another clearly intent on taking the Miraculous to use herself, despite his threats.

It was infuriating.

"Well, you did use the Miraculous on a very regular basis for a very long time," Nooroo pointed out, munching on a grape. He looked rather smug, clearly pleased about Gabriel's lack of success. Gabriel resisted the urge to transform, just so he wouldn't have to hear the kwami for a while.

...except, when the kwami was smug, he was the most likely to let something slip. He wouldn't be guarding his emotions as closely, so Gabriel could look for those little changes in expression to try to figure out how he could fix this infuriating problem.

Suddenly, he was struck by an idea. If a short break could improve his control so much, what kind of an effect would an actual proper break have on his powers? Would it reset things just a bit, so he could go back to when he could influence his akuma even more and force them to listen to him?

"Well, then perhaps I should take a longer break," Gabriel said. He was pleased to see a flicker of worry in Nooroo's eyes, a clear indication that he was on the right track. "I have lines walking in several Fashion Weeks around the world. I hadn't been planning on attending any but the Paris one in person, but perhaps I should."

"Ah- ah, I 'm sure that wouldn't be necessary," Nooroo squeaked, looking seriously concerned. This time, it was Gabriel's turn to smirk. "I mean, it would take you away for quite a while, and that wouldn't be good-"

"Yes, I think I'll do that," Gabriel decided, ignoring his kwami's protests. "It'll give Ladybug and Chat Noir a chance to get out of practice, too. And I've often been inspired by other lines at Fashion Weeks. Hopefully there are still decent hotels with rooms open near the events. I'll have to tell Nathalie to get on that right away, since the first one is only a week away." He nodded, pleased, and then headed off to track down his assistant, ignoring the kwami drooping on the table behind him.

He had gotten all of the information he needed out of Nooroo for the time being.

   While attending Fashion Weeks around the world and constantly being on the go was not exactly what anyone would call relaxing (especially when one was showing a line at all of said fashion weeks and needed to constantly be dealing with small disasters), at least Mr. Agreste could have more control over it than he had had recently over his akumas. He could make visible progress with the runways, instead of being faced with akuma after akuma that failed and left him still stuck on square one. He could take the time to scheme about what kinds of akumas he wanted to make once he got back to Paris.

It left him in quite a good mood- or, rather, in as good of a mood as he ever got. Still, by the time the last show finished up and he was on his way back to Paris, he was quite looking forward to getting home. He had outfits that he wanted to properly sketch out, of course, after being inspired by some of the other things he saw on the runway, but he mostly wanted to see how much his powers had improved after a break. So within an hour of getting back to his house, he was on his way up to his lair.

He could feel that it was going to be a good day. His akuma, judging by how nervous his kwami had been, was going to be powerful, and he should have plenty of control over it. Ladybug and Chat Noir would be caught unaware, and then he would have their Miraculous!

He just had to find the perfect candidate to be his akuma victim. Of course, perfection took a while to find. There had to be a certain combination of motives and possible powers and anger.

Still, it was worth it, Hawkmoth could tell that as soon as his latest akuma was rampaging across the city. The bond between them through the corrupted butterfly was strong, and the akuma only needed a little prompting to stay on track. He grinned in anticipation for the superheroes' appearance. They were bound to be caught off guard after several weeks of no activity.

Suddenly a red-and-black blur barreled into the akuma, sending it staggering before she rolled back, yo-yo hanging from her fingers. Chat Noir pounced into the fight seconds later, baton extended ready to fight as he crouched next to Ladybug. The akuma got its first good look at them, and then Hawkmoth could feel the akuma's shock as clearly as he felt his own as his jaw dropped open.

They had new powers. How did they have new powers? No, no, no, that wasn't supposed to be how this went!

"What happened to their costumes?" the akuma was spluttering. "There's- Ladybug has two yo-yos, and wings, and there's something else on her belt, like little bombs, and- oof!"

"Keep going- and what about Chat Noir?" Hawkmoth demanded, his heat sinking. "Does he have new powers?"

"I- yes!"

"What are they, then?" he demanded, scowling. God, all of his akuma were so incompetent. This was important information, and this one was too concerned with screwing around to convey it properly.

"Longer claws!" the akuma yelped. "Owtch! It's like a mini-Cataclysm, he can destroy small things without using his power. And there's something- ow!- on his belt, but I- I can't-"

Hawkmoth's brow furrowed at that. "Stay out of their way, then! Figure out what their new powers are first!"

The only response he got was a slightly strangled yelp.

Even with the strong akuma and strong connection, the fight was over faster than most of the comparable fights from before Hawkmoth had started having problems. The quick defeat left Hawkmoth standing stunned in the middle of his lair, staring blankly at his window .

New powers. That was a setback he hadn't planned on. He had rather thought that the civilians behind the mask would take the time off, not use the free time to somehow figure out how to add new powers to their arsenal.

"You may have won this time, but next time, next time, I will be prepared and you won't catch me by surprise!" Hawkmoth finally bellowed at his window, a bit belatedly. "I will figure out how to use your new powers against you, and then I will win!"

[hopefulfestivaltastemaker]

January 17, 2021

This is my weekly roundup of things I am up to and looking at. Topics include human rights, decentralized social media, the I5 bridge replacement, Kuznets curves, and the Trump administration rundown.

Human Rights

I added a bit more to the Social Well-Being section of the Urban Cruise Ship site, which is mostly on human rights topics.

Having followed the work of, e.g. Steven Pinker and Has Rosling, I had expected to present a view that the world human rights situation was getting inexorably better. The reality is that the picture is more mixed. Democratization peaked some time around 2007 and has been in decline since then, though the world is still much more democratic than in the 1970s. Education, defined as the number of children not in school, made great progress in the 2000s, but now progress seems to be stalling.

It is my read of the data that inequality is generally increasing in wealthy countries, and decreasing (though it’s a mixed bag) in poorer countries. More important than inequality within countries is inequality between countries, and that metric appears to be going down as the world undergoes the Great Convergence, or the tendency of incomes of countries to converge as poorer countries experience fast growth and richer countries experience slow growth. This follows the Great Divergence that occurred from around 1800 to 1975.

Economic freedom is generally improving across the world. It has been the case historically, and it remains true today, that there is a correlation between economic freedom and political freedom. But with the rise of state capitalist or illiberal capitalist societies, that correlation seems to be getting weaker.

Freedom House’s review of freedom of the press unfortunately had its last year in 2016, and it showed an improvement, following by a stalling, of freedom of the press worldwide. It does not appear to me that the situation has generally improved in the last four years.

I have to move on, but I would like to look at these figures much more carefully. Taken as a whole, the picture for human rights in the 2010s looks like a mixed bag, with some areas of progress and some areas of regression, without an obvious trend one way or the other. This joins other observations about the present state of the world, which is also seeing declining productivity growth, seeming technological stagnation, the spread of sub-replacement birth rates, and the proliferation of dangerous debt levels. Although it is premature to panic, it should be clear that at least something is not working as we might hope, and we could ask whether a person’s effort is best focused on returning to the roots of principles of liberal democracy, or on bringing about a post-liberal order.

Decentralized Social Media

The noise has quieted down a little bit now, but there has been much consternation lately about whether the tech industry exercises too much power. Major events that have prompted these concerns include Donald Trump’s Twitter account being disabled and the social network Parler having its AWS service canceled.

I’ve generally taken a hard-line market position, arguing that whatever the merits of actions by Amazon, Twitter, and other companies, they are private companies and should be able to set their own policies without government interference. This is a minority view, though, and it looks increasingly likely that there will be some kind of regulation. Balaji Srinivasan pointed out on Twitter that the major tech companies came out of an era (recent, yet feels long ago) when the dominance of both the United States and American technology companies was beyond reasonable question. Now there are more alternatives to both, as well as growing concerns about nationalism, privacy, cybersecurity, and other factors that may motivate regulation.

I think the only lasting defense against the impulse to regulate is to build decentralized alternatives to major tech services that are inherently impossible to regulate, both by governments and by major corporations. This sounds nice, but in practice the industry is moving toward greater centralization for a reason. It is one thing to built a decentralized Twitter; I could probably do that myself. It is quite another to build a decentralized Twitter with the security, scalability, and reliability that one expects from main service. Parler evidently failed in these tasks; not only could they not survive the cancellation of their AWS contract, they did not secure vital data of their users. It is even more difficult to replicate the community that comes with scale. Building a decentralized version of AWS is even harder, as this means replicating a large and growing volume of computing resources. These companies have thousands of software engineers each.

So, “if you don’t like [Facebook/Twitter/Uber/Amazon/AirBnB/whatever] you should build your own alternative” is not yet a credible response. Such alternatives don’t exist for lack of effort. We don’t even have a widespread decentralized app for identity. I would start there. If that problem can be solved, then maybe there is some hope for more complex issues.

Metro and the I5 Bridge Replacement

Oregon Metro is getting off to a new term. In a work session this week, we heard from Metro’s lobbyist. He lamented the fact that there will probably be some security added in Salem, taking away the historic openness that the state capital has had. Aside from being closed due to Covid, there was a security incident last month which now implicates one of the legislators.

The main event of the work session, though, was the I5 Bridge Replacement, a project formerly known as the Columbia River Crossing. This project has been on the agenda for Oregon and Washington for most of my adult lifetime, and the states are now aiming for construction to be complete in 2025. I’ll be happy if it’s done this decade.

The main topic this week was the restorative justice program, which basically boils down to paying people with homes or businesses in the Albina neighborhood, which will be the site of much of the construction. The money didn’t seem to be sufficient for some council members. In addition, others are concerned about the fact that there is any highway project at all, wanting more money for local streets and/or non-automotive transportation.

While I am not without sympathy for the opposition to the bridge, I find the CRC and successor project to be prime examples of the syndromes that prevent the construction of any kind of infrastructure. Portland is one of the worst cities in the country for traffic congestion (though it has recently improved slightly), and the cost of living is significantly higher than the national average. If you don’t like highway projects, then fine, but propose credible alternatives that work for the region as a whole. There are some, but I don’t see Metro pursuing them. Simply obstructing projects, or adding ancillary priorities that raise costs, make problems worse for the region.

Kuznets Curves

Back to Urban Cruise Ship stuff, I whipped up a plot on Kuznets curves this week. An (environmental) Kuznets curve is a hypothetical model under which an environmental impacts shows a U-shaped curve with income. In other words, as income grows, the impact gets worse to a point, but it tends to get better after a certain level of income. Generally speaking, water pollutants and localized air pollutants show clear signs of Kuznets curves, while for other impacts such as municipal solid waste and CO2 emissions, the evidence is inconclusive.

To be honest, I have my skepticism about the whole business. I find Kuznets curves exhibit the “reading history sideways” fallacy, where the development of countries is assumed to be a predictable, linear process such that poor countries today look like rich countries yesterday, and rich countries today look like poor countries tomorrow. Some, though not many, scholars seem to have noticed this problem specifically in the context of Kuznets curves.

Misgivings aside, I hope to have several more results to present. Perhaps at some point I will attempt my own analysis. I tried something similar a few years ago when I was at The Breakthrough Institute, though those efforts were not successful.

As for other work, I also spent some time on the section on Economic System, though that is still not uploaded. I had hoped to have it down by now, but the section is turning out to be both longer than harder than I thought.

Some thoughts on the Trump Administration

This will be my last blog post while Donald Trump is still president, so I thought I would review some of what I see to be the highlights and lowlights of the last four years. The administration published their own list of accomplishments. This is not meant to be a comprehensive list, but rather a list that I find to be of particular interest.

The Good

There has been some significant reductions in regulation, which has helped power the economic good times of the administration’s first three years. These regulations have, in particular, helped the production of natural gas, which has done more than anything else to replace coal power (though, in fairness, the development of fracking and tight oil has been a bipartisan effort that goes back to the Ford administration).

Trump has had three appointments to the Supreme Court: Neil Gorsuch, Bret Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett. Each of these justices have earned strong credibility through the Federalist Society, and I think they have generally done a good job.

(Fun fact: Jimmy Carter is the only president who served a full term and did not get a Supreme Court nomination.)

The Mixed

In 2017, the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act bill was signed. This was a major tax reform bill which did far too many things to comment on, but a main thrust was bringing corporate tax rates in line with international standards. I give this legislation significant credit for the strong economic conditions that prevailed prior to the Covid-19 pandemic. The cap on the SALT deduction was good too.

Unfortunately, tax cuts were not balanced with spending cuts, raising the deficit to around $1 trillion per year prior to the pandemic. These are dangerous levels that the United States should not be running during good times. Now we have deficits exceeding $3 trillion per year, a debt/GDP ratio in excess of a dangerous 100%, and an excuse for Democrats to embark on their own reckless spending plans.

(Another fun fact: U.S. federal budgets were last balanced under Bill Clinton. Before that, budgets were balanced briefly under Nixon.)

The Bad

Immigration and refugee rates have fallen significantly, in large part because of administration policy, and international trade has increased, despite administration policy.

The list of accomplishments above has a long section about the Covid-19 response (or the “China virus”), but there is no way to spin the fact that the American response has been atrocious. The best defense for the administration is that most governors and mayors have also responded poorly.

Much criticism has been directed at Trump’s personality and use of conspiracy theory, much of which is fair and much exaggerated. I think the least that can be said is that the Trump administration, like other recent administrations, provides a strong case for Congress to reclaim the authority that it has ceded to the executive branch.

Missed Opportunities

At HUD, Ben Carson started writing a rule to replace the Affirmative Furthering Fair Housing regulation that would have been the strongest federal action so far on liberalizing zoning. Those efforts were scuttled by the rest of the administration.

In 2020, the Trump administration embarked on an effort to cut the time of environmental assessments and environmental impact statements under NEPA. However, the effort has not been completed and I don’t think is likely to continue under the Biden administration.

[ojojzcom]

How To Study Effectively

When you sit down to study, how do you transfer that massive amount of information from the books and notes in front of you to a reliable spot in your mind? You need to develop good study habits. At first, it'll take a good deal of conscious effort to change your studying ways, but after a while, it'll become second nature, and studying will be easier to do. Being properly organized and prepared for tests and exams can make all the difference to school performance. Effective studying starts with the right attitude—a positive outlook can shift studying from a punishment to an opportunity to learn. There is no one-size-fits-all approach when learning how to effectively study. Studying methods should be tailored to each student. Everyone has different abilities, so it is important to determine what works for you and what doesn’t. (Find out what type of learner you are and which study techniques will work best for you!) For some students, studying and staying motivated comes easily — others may have to work a little bit harder.

WHAT IS THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO STUDY?

Finding the best way to study is an ongoing process. It isn’t something that can be left to the night before the test. You should be constantly improving your study skills to better understand what works (and what doesn’t). Reading is not studying Simply reading and re-reading texts or notes is not actively engaging in the material. It is simply re-reading your notes. Only ‘doing’ the readings for class is not studying. It is simply doing the reading for class. Re-reading leads to quick forgetting. Think of reading as an important part of pre-studying, but learning information requires actively engaging in the material (Edwards, 2014). Active engagement is the process of constructing meaning from text that involves making connections to lectures, forming examples, and regulating your own learning (Davis, 2007). Active studying does not mean highlighting or underlining text, re-reading, or rote memorization. Though these activities may help to keep you engaged in the task, they are not considered active studying techniques and are weakly related to improved learning (Mackenzie, 1994).

Ideas for active studying include: Create a study guide by topic. Formulate questions and problems and write complete answers. Create your own quiz. Become a teacher. Say the information aloud in your own words as if you are the instructor and teaching the concepts to a class. Derive examples that relate to your own experiences. Create concept maps or diagrams that explain the material. Develop symbols that represent concepts. For non-technical classes (e.g., English, History, Psychology), figure out the big ideas so you can explain, contrast, and re-evaluate them. For technical classes, work the problems and explain the steps and why they work. Study in terms of question, evidence, and conclusion: What is the question posed by the instructor/author? What is the evidence that they present? What is the conclusion? Organization and planning will help you to actively study for your courses. When studying for a test, organize your materials first and then begin your active reviewing by topic (Newport, 2007). Often professors provide subtopics on the syllabi. Use them as a guide to help organize your materials. For example, gather all of the materials for one topic (e.g., PowerPoint notes, text book notes, articles, homework, etc.) and put them together in a pile. Label each pile with the topic and study by topics. For more information on the principle behind active studying, check out our tipsheet on metacognition.

Understand the Study Cycle

The Study Cycle, developed by Frank Christ, breaks down the different parts of studying: previewing, attending class, reviewing, studying, and checking your understanding. Although each step may seem obvious at a glance, all too often students try to take shortcuts and miss opportunities for good learning. For example, you may skip a reading before class because the professor covers the same material in class; doing so misses a key opportunity to learn in different modes (reading and listening) and to benefit from the repetition and distributed practice (see #3 below) that you’ll get from both reading ahead and attending class. Understanding the importance of all stages of this cycle will help make sure you don’t miss opportunities to learn effectively.

Spacing out is good

One of the most impactful learning strategies is “distributed practice”—spacing out your studying over several short periods of time over several days and weeks (Newport, 2007). The most effective practice is to work a short time on each class every day. The total amount of time spent studying will be the same (or less) than one or two marathon library sessions, but you will learn the information more deeply and retain much more for the long term—which will help get you an A on the final. The important thing is how you use your study time, not how long you study. Long study sessions lead to a lack of concentration and thus a lack of learning and retention. In order to spread out studying over short periods of time across several days and weeks, you need control over your schedule. Keeping a list of tasks to complete on a daily basis will help you to include regular active studying sessions for each class. Try to do something for each class each day. Be specific and realistic regarding how long you plan to spend on each task you should not have more tasks on your list than you can reasonably complete during the day. For example, you may do a few problems per day in math rather than all of them the hour before class. In history, you can spend 15-20 minutes each day actively studying your class notes. Thus, your studying time may still be the same length, but rather than only preparing for one class, you will be preparing for all of your classes in short stretches. This will help focus, stay on top of your work, and retain information. In addition to learning the material more deeply, spacing out your work helps stave off procrastination. Rather than having to face the dreaded project for four hours on Monday, you can face the dreaded project for 30 minutes each day. The shorter, more consistent time to work on a dreaded project is likely to be more acceptable and less likely to be delayed to the last minute. Finally, if you have to memorize material for class (names, dates, formulas), it is best to make flashcards for this material and review periodically throughout the day rather than one long, memorization session (Wissman and Rawson, 2012). It’s good to be intense Not all studying is equal. You will accomplish more if you study intensively. Intensive study sessions are short and will allow you to get work done with minimal wasted effort. Shorter, intensive study times are more effective than drawn out studying. In fact, one of the most impactful study strategies is distributing studying over multiple sessions (Newport, 2007). Intensive study sessions can last 30 or 45-minute sessions and include active studying strategies. For example, self-testing is an active study strategy that improves the intensity of studying and efficiency of learning. However, planning to spend hours on end self-testing is likely to cause you to become distracted and lose your attention. On the other hand, if you plan to quiz yourself on the course material for 45 minutes and then take a break, you are much more likely to maintain your attention and retain the information. Furthermore, the shorter, more intense sessions will likely put the pressure on that is needed to prevent procrastination.

Silence isn’t golden

Know where you study best. The silence of a library may not be the best place for you. It’s important to consider what noise environment works best for you. You might find that you concentrate better with some background noise. Some people find that listening to classical music while studying helps them concentrate, while others find this highly distracting. The point is that the silence of the library may be just as distracting (or more) than the noise of a gymnasium. Thus, if silence is distracting, but you prefer to study in the library, try the first or second floors where there is more background ‘buzz.’ Keep in mind that active studying is rarely silent as it often requires saying the material aloud.

Problems are your friend

Working and re-working problems is important for technical courses (e.g., math, economics). Be able to explain the steps of the problems and why they work. In technical courses, it is usually more important to work problems than read the text (Newport, 2007). In class, write down in detail the practice problems demonstrated by the professor. Annotate each step and ask questions if you are confused. At the very least, record the question and the answer (even if you miss the steps). When preparing for tests, put together a large list of problems from the course materials and lectures. Work the problems and explain the steps and why they work (Carrier, 2003).

Reconsider multitasking

A significant amount of research indicates that multi-tasking does not improve efficiency and actually negatively affects results (Junco, 2012). In order to study smarter, not harder, you will need to eliminate distractions during your study sessions. Social media, web browsing, game playing, texting, etc. will severely affect the intensity of your study sessions if you allow them! Research is clear that multi-tasking (e.g., responding to texts, while studying), increases the amount of time needed to learn material and decreases the quality of the learning (Junco, 2012). Eliminating the distractions will allow you to fully engage during your study sessions. If you don’t need your computer for homework, then don’t use it. Use apps to help you set limits on the amount of time you can spend at certain sites during the day. Turn your phone off. Reward intensive studying with a social-media break (but make sure you time your break!) See our handout on managing technology for more tips and strategies.

Switch up your setting

Find several places to study in and around campus and change up your space if you find that it is no longer a working space for you. Know when and where you study best. It may be that your focus at 10:00 PM. is not as sharp as at 10:00 AM. Perhaps you are more productive at a coffee shop with background noise, or in the study lounge in your residence hall. Perhaps when you study on your bed, you fall asleep. Have a variety of places in and around campus that are good study environments for you. That way wherever you are, you can find your perfect study spot. After a while, you might find that your spot is too comfortable and no longer is a good place to study, so it’s time to hop to a new spot!

Become a teacher

Try to explain the material in your own words, as if you are the teacher. You can do this in a study group, with a study partner, or on your own. Saying the material aloud will point out where you are confused and need more information and will help you retain the information. As you are explaining the material, use examples and make connections between concepts (just as a teacher does). It is okay (even encouraged) to do this with your notes in your hands. At first you may need to rely on your notes to explain the material, but eventually you’ll be able to teach it without your notes. Creating a quiz for yourself will help you to think like your professor. What does your professor want you to know? Quizzing yourself is a highly effective study technique. Make a study guide and carry it with you so you can review the questions and answers periodically throughout the day and across several days. Identify the questions that you don’t know and quiz yourself on only those questions. Say your answers aloud. This will help you to retain the information and make corrections where they are needed. For technical courses, do the sample problems and explain how you got from the question to the answer. Re-do the problems that give you trouble. Learning the material in this way actively engages your brain and will significantly improve your memory (Craik, 1975).

Take control of your calendar

Controlling your schedule and your distractions will help you to accomplish your goals. If you are in control of your calendar, you will be able to complete your assignments and stay on top of your coursework. The following are steps to getting control of your calendar: On the same day each week, (perhaps Sunday nights or Saturday mornings) plan out your schedule for the week. Go through each class and write down what you’d like to get completed for each class that week. Look at your calendar and determine how many hours you have to complete your work. Determine whether your list can be completed in the amount of time that you have available. (You may want to put the amount of time expected to complete each assignment.) Make adjustments as needed. For example, if you find that it will take more hours to complete your work than you have available, you will likely need to triage your readings. Completing all of the readings is a luxury. You will need to make decisions about your readings based on what is covered in class. You should read and take notes on all of the assignments from the favored class source (the one that is used a lot in the class). This may be the textbook or a reading that directly addresses the topic for the day. You can likely skim supplemental readings. Pencil into your calendar when you plan to get assignments completed. Before going to bed each night, make your plan for the next day. Waking up with a plan will make you more productive.

Use downtime to your advantage

Beware of ‘easy’ weeks. This is the calm before the storm. Lighter work weeks are a great time to get ahead on work or to start long projects. Use the extra hours to get ahead on assignments or start big projects or papers. You should plan to work on every class every week even if you don’t have anything due. In fact, it is preferable to do some work for each of your classes every day. Spending 30 minutes per class each day will add up to three hours per week, but spreading this time out over six days is more effective than cramming it all in during one long three-hour session. If you have completed all of the work for a particular class, then use the 30 minutes to get ahead or start a longer project.

Use all your resources

Remember that you can make an appointment with an academic coach to work on implementing any of the strategies suggested in this handout. .ugb-94290f7-wrapper.ugb-container__wrapper{padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important}.ugb-94290f7-wrapper > .ugb-container__side{padding-top:35px !important;padding-bottom:35px !important}

Music for Studying

Study Music Education Category Read the full article