#this was supposed to be about

[capsofcotton]

Somehow my jazzprowl tfone fic has become instead a scathing critique of capitalism how did we get here

[koobiie]

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

[miiilowo]

phenomenon

[kiryuing]

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

we need to step away from viewing marriage as inherently romantic, or the primary goal of romance. marriage is a legal contract we use to create important ties--financial, medical, next-of-kin, mediating shared property and parental rights. the details vary a lot based on where you are and what paperwork you sign. which is not very romantic! but it does have many real-world effects on our ability to share our lives with our partners.

first and foremost, marriage is a legal right we use to build and protect our families, whatever that family may look like

[helpimstuckinafandom]

I'M FUCKING CRYING LMAOOO

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[lilliankillthisman]

is that good

[qiinamii]

new guy in the Express

bonus:

adding more to the whimsy

[vegetabletaxi]

this is just a bunch of text and barely a comic sorry, but i really wanted to talk about this stuff even if i don't have the energy to properly draw

[lacyblades]

౨ৎ pre-relationship fratboy!satoru who won't actually date virgin!reader, but threatens to throw hands with anyone that even looks in your direction. he especially hates it when you indulge, as much as bat your lashes them, but he knows you guys aren't exclusive — which is on him.

it's a loose deal, he promised he would take your virginity, on the conditions that you'd need to take it slow. though, satoru's really struggling to hold out.

he knows your untouched cunt would be warm, wet, and deliciously tight. he knows you'd do such a good job taking him, that you would squeeze so pretty around him, milk him for all he's got.

and, oh, his own touch is hardly doing it for him. at night, when satoru's laying awake in his frustratingly empty dorm, eyes fluttering shut, as his hand snakes beneath the hem of his boxers.

and, yeah, he feels a little bad when he imagines it's your sweet pussy instead of his palm. he feels less bad when he's coming, pumping his length until he's shooting blanks into the dark.

this your fault. he's not used to not having sex three times a week, okay? maybe, he's getting a little desperate, but he's doing his best, with what he's got.

satoru's not sure if you know it, but he hasn't even glanced at another woman, not even for a moment. he's hardly done any more than kissing you, but he can't imagine doing it with any other. it's a repulsive thought.

you don't make things any easier, either. you love pushing his buttons, making him squirm. when he lays in bed with you, just past midnight, your cute little ass pressed right into his hardening cock — you do a horrible job at pretending to be asleep. horrible.

satoru's cheeks are dusted with pink, and he lamely has to excuse himself to use the bathroom. he knows what he's doing in there, and you do, too.

one of these days, he'll snap. you've always been a patient girl. his patient girl — cherry — even if he doesn't know it yet.

[evgar]

nicky loves putting flowers in his mama's hair, naturally whenever rio is around she makes sure to grow the prettiest ones for them

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

Physically? I am sitting in my bedroom. Mentally? Spiritually? I AM DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!! THESE TWO HAVE KILLED ME!!!!

(Another drawing! This was originally attempt #1 at drawing stan, and then fiddleford just showed up. Kinda feels like them five minutes after the above acting like nothing happened though, so it works sdjkgkjfshj)

[goldensunset]

did you know? if you do your laundry you can get your clothes back

[softaestluv]

more of Ghost’s sweet wife from this blurb! | mlist ✎ᝰ.ᐟ

Ghost’s sergeant’s are still trying to figure out how a sweet thing like yourself ended up as their Lieutenant’s wife. Rumors spread, ones that bruise Ghost’s ego just a little— ‘Did you hear the Lieutenant is holding a poor lass hostage as his wife?’

It doesn’t help that anytime anyone asks he chalks it up to his ‘irresistible charm.’

The truth? Well he can’t let his team know how utterly soft he is for you.

It would ruin his image if he told them that when he’s not on base he spends his spare time at his elderly neighbor’s apartment. Carries her mail up the stairs everyday so she doesn’t have to climb up the stairs herself, helps her up them whenever he does see her shaking and stumbling up the steps.

Asks her if she needs anything from the market when he’s going shopping, takes her to get refills of her medicine. Always makes himself available to her no matter how minuscule, opens stubborn jars for her, helps her read the tiny font on her prescription bottles, fixes the time on her clocks when the time changes.

Her glorified maintenance boy, and truthfully, Simon was more than happy to help. It felt good to be needed for something normal, so he replaced her light bulbs, drained her clogged sinks, fixed her lopsided wash machine with a smile.

Every Sunday morning, the same routine, tea and biscuits while she taught him how to crochet. It wasn’t exactly easy to hold the slender hooks in his thick fingers, but he could hold them steady long enough, zero his focus through a needle after years as a sniper. He was quite a patient person, and the stitching helped pass the days he was alone, numb his mind to nothing, but loop and thread.

Loop and thread.

It’s not like she was the only one benefiting from the agreement. It was quiet, peaceful, a much needed contrast to the draining and stressful occupation he put himself in. Most days he fell asleep in her recliner, always had her heater a little warmer than needed, the smell of pastries she was baking wafting from the kitchen. Made her living room entirely too comfortable, but she didn’t mind when he took naps, even if he was sure he snored like a bear.

Insisted he call her ‘Gran,’ even if she wasn’t his grandmother. Though, he supposed she acted like she was; baked him an abundance of pastries, always made more than enough dinner for two people. Gave him left overs for lunch— ‘a little lady like myself can’t finish it all alone, Simon.’

Plus, it led him to you.

There were days their conversations strayed to his relationship status. Single, of course, something Gran tried to change, dropping hints throughout their time together:

‘A young man like yourself should have a wife and kids by now, Simon!’

‘You sure are a handy man, you’ll make a great husband someday.’

‘You should meet my granddaughter, I think you two would get along swell.’

‘You know, my granddaughter can cook just as well. Taught her all my recipes.’

He always brushed it off; he wasn’t exactly looking to be in a relationship, but Gran was cunning, sneaky, and set the two of you up. Invited him over for dinner and to watch the football game on the telly one day. Except when he walked through her front door, calling for her, he saw your figure in the kitchen, adorned in an apron, covered in flour and sugar.

And well, he already called her ‘Gran,’ why not legally make her his grand-in-law?

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care