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irisintheafterglow · 2 years ago

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I Know I'll Be Living in Vain (gojo x you)

summary: you wake from a nightmare in a state of panic. he's there to ground you back in reality.

wc: 2.2k

cw/tags: hurt/comfort, established relationship with pet names (babe, baby, sweetheart, beautiful), gn reader, found family with megs and satoru, nightmares, panic attack, swearing, mentions of food and eating

notes: so this is part 1 of a little series i'll be doing surrounding the shibuya incident and gojo's uh...absence for all yall anime-only people. based on the song "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" by Taylor Swift and Zayn because it just fits??? so perfectly??? anyway hope you enjoy! this is also for all you found family lovers i see you and i understand you.

likes/reblogs/feedback is always appreciated <3

He feels it viscerally in his body at the same time you do, a wall of unfathomable malice that you were never supposed to feel in the first place. It’s heart stopping, the same realization of making a mistake that ricochets your life in an unpredictable direction. Dread sinks like an anchor into his stomach and he forces down the nauseous lump gathering in his throat. He tries to train his expression into blankness, but he knows better than to deceive the King of Curses.

“Hmm…” Sukuna’s dark eyes narrow in concentration, thoughts elsewhere instead of the sorcerer in front of him. “Someone is…reading me.” A tense beat of stillness settled between the two fighters, out of place compared to the wasteland of a city that they treaded on. Then, in a blink, both him and Sukuna are gone, racing to get to you first. He’s an eighth of a second too slow and you feel vicious claws dig into the back of your neck from your seat on the ground. Electric blue eyes meet yours, wrought with despair and suppressed rage. You always loved that the most, how his eyes always seemed to give away what he was feeling even if he didn’t say anything. Flashes of memories flicker in your mind like stop-motion film, pulling him closer in your bedroom or intertwining your fingers on a walk back to the school. Every time you looked in his eyes, you could read him; you could read his sorrow, his grief, his wrath, his joy, his love. It was different, now, from any time you’d looked at him before.

For the first time since you’d met him, Satoru’s eyes were filled with fear.

You blink, scared to breathe or feel the ache in your legs after being crossed for too long. This was wrong. Everything was wrong. This wasn’t supposed to happen and this meeting would cause catastrophic consequences to the plan in place. First, the non-sorcerers would break from the trance you’d put them in. They would then panic within the confines of the veil, causing the sorcerers within to divert their attention to crowd control rather than exorcizing Curses. Civilian casualties were going to increase exponentially all because you were never supposed to read Sukuna. From the look on Satoru’s face, he knew it too, and he knew it was his fault that the confrontation entered your technique’s radius in the first place. It broke your heart to see him so distraught, overwhelmed by your impending death because he wasn’t careful enough.

“This your little friend, honored one?” Sukuna’s face is a cruel sneer; he knows having you puts Satoru on the defensive. “Well?” Your head is roughly pushed forward and you cry out, face contorting in pain and frustration as Satoru’s fist opens and closes anxiously. You wordlessly pleaded with him to just attack even if you got caught in the crossfire because, as much as he was on the defensive, Sukuna was underestimating his humanity and it left him vulnerable. But ultimately, you were in the wrong–you underestimate how much Satoru needs you.

“I didn’t think you were one to get distracted, your majesty.” You catch the slightest waver in his voice as he attempts to appear uncaring about your situation. He wasn’t succeeding.

“Nor did I think you would stop your attacks just because another sorcerer is in your way.”

“Maybe I’m catching my breath ‘cause I didn’t hold back before.”

“Then why do you choose to now?”

“I’m just giving you some time before we go all out again. My mother always said I had pristine manners.” In any other scenario you would have burst out laughing at the sheer inaccuracy of that statement, but all you could do was choke out a sob of disbelief. His eyes flick to you again and the muscles in his jaw clench. “Beat me first and save your,” an elegant hand waves around aimlessly in a forced show of indifference, “prize for later.” You catch his nervous swallow as his body physically rejects referring to you as an object.

Sukuna hums in faux-thoughtfulness before his grip tightens enough to draw blood. You gasp at the warmth now dripping down the sides of your neck. “You could have beat me at any point, you know, if you didn’t stop for one measly human.” He spits the last word like it tasted disgusting on his tongue. “For one so godly, you are disappointingly just…a man.”

“Spare their life or I’ll show you just how godly I am.” There’s no more aloofness in Satoru’s body language. He’d given up his asshole-exterior to desperately negotiate for your life. The world would end because Gojo Satoru loved you too much.

You dodge his gaze like it was a plague and silently will him to stop looking at you, lest he jeopardize both of your positions. It was too late, though. Sukuna shakes his head, patronizingly clicking his tongue in distaste. Satoru’s initial hesitation upon seeing you had given too much away. “Pathetic. The honored one should know better than to waste time on emotional attachment.”

You feel a scorching hot sensation on the back of your head before your eyes fly open and you shoot upright in bed, hand flying to your mouth to muffle the ragged exhales from your heaving chest. It’s impossible to stop trembling and you struggle out of bed, careful not to wake its other occupant. You’re barely able to make it to the bathroom and splash your face with frigid water before the adrenaline crashes into your body in the form of a strangled cry as you recollect your nightmare. It violently wracks your body in unnatural tremors that have you holding the edge of the sink for dear life, drowning in your own worsening spiral. It wasn’t the first time you’d experienced a nightmare like this, but what frightened you the most was how realistic it felt, especially considering the rumors running around this year’s Halloween. It takes you several minutes to regain control of your body, leaving your head aching from the fluorescent lights in the bathroom. After patting dry your sweat-sticky skin, you quietly re-enter your room to find Satoru awake and waiting for you. You’re grateful to the darkness, for once, because it almost hid your swollen eyes and incessant shaking…almost.

“Hey, I’m sorry if I woke you.” You try to keep your voice even while you slip back under the covers and his arms instinctually pull you into him. Your body continues running hot and you wiggle free from the blankets, instead searching for his natural warmth. He definitely could hear your racing heart rate but you still force feed normalcy into your words. “You can go back to sleep now. I just needed to pee. Too much water before bed, you know?” It’s quiet for a time and you sigh in relief, thinking you’d successfully fooled your excessively protective boyfriend. You’re on the edge of falling back into unconsciousness when his low voice grounds you back into reality.

“You had a nightmare.” With eyes still shut, your breath hitches despite the relaxingly lazy circles he traces on your back. “I know you’re still awake, by the way. You breathe differently when you sleep.” You fight down the impulse to teasingly call him a creep and keep your eyes closed. Trying the silent route again, his calming touch abruptly pulls away as does the rest of his body. Groaning in frustration, you surrender and bury yourself further into his chest, muttering how you hated him and his stupid tricks. He huffs out a lighthearted chuckle, fingers returning to work on your skin as you finally look up at him. “Talk to me, beautiful.”

“It was just a bad dream. I’m fine.”

“You’re just as terrible of a liar as a fake-sleeper. It’s a good thing you became a sorcerer and not an actor.” He smirks when you glare up at him, eyes shining with triumph at pushing your buttons.

“If you’re gonna be an asshole, then get out. I’ll call Suguru and Shoko to cuddle me instead.” You flip over and begin crawling out of bed again when lean limbs snake around your body, caging you against him with both his arms and his legs. He breathes an exhausted sigh against your neck that gives you goosebumps. Guess joking-Satoru had enough of your antics.

“I know the difference between when you have a bad dream and when you have a nightmare. Bad dreams don’t have you bolting up and stifling sobs in the bathroom because you think I can’t hear them. I hear them, every single time. It breaks me, you know?” Your heart pangs in sharp guilt but he only pulls you closer. “Please, baby. Talk to me.” You let him rotate your body so that your head rests on his chest and you inhale the unwaveringly strong presence of him.

“I dreamt something went wrong during an attack on a city. I was evacuating and you were fighting Sukuna and…” Your voice cracks as you relive the dream in your mind’s eye, wincing when you remember the all-too-real look on Satoru’s face as you die. “Sukuna got to me.” His arms tighten around your body and you squeeze your eyes shut to block out the flood of bad dreams that unlocked as a result of this single nightmare. “And I really don’t fucking know, I just–”

“Do you remember that time we took Megumi to a splash pad? Tsumiki was at her first sleepover and we stole him away for the weekend.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the sudden change in the conversation and you look at him, only to see him staring off into the ceiling. “Yeah? I mean, we stole him away for a lot of weekends. Why do you–”

“He hated that place with every fiber of his tiny body.” His eyes fondly flutter shut, pretty mouth curling into a grin. “I remember we had to bribe him with ginger chicken just to get him to stand near one of those fountains. It was for the greater good, though, since I think the universe was trying to roast us alive during that summer.”

You smile at the image of little Megs’ frown and crossed arms as he reluctantly steps closer to the brightly colored water structures, arguing the water is freezing. From your lawn chair in the shade, you remind him that the water was the whole point of bringing him there, to which he further scowled in protest. At some point, both you and Satoru ended up with soaked clothes after running around the playground to escape the unbearable heat, with Megumi finally playing too after your boyfriend slipped and fell. When you asked Satoru why he didn’t use Infinity to avoid getting wet, he shrugged and explained that it was more fun feeling shivery and cold with you. One of your favorite memories of the day came after losing to him in a slide race where he definitely cheated, when you had to stand under a bucket that tipped over once filled with water. But, a second before the bucket could tip, Megumi yanked Satoru’s arm toward you and all three of you ended up getting drenched. “Did we actually end up getting him ginger chicken? I thought we warped back to the school.”

“Mhmm, we did. I was the one who drove across the city to get it in your beat-up sedan.” The corner of his mouth quirks in lighthearted indignance.

Your jaw drops in realization and you can’t help giggling as the memories click into place. After deciding warping was a better alternative than getting your car wet, Satoru went to get your car and drove it back to Jujutsu Tech after all three of you dried off. You put on some random movie for Megs to watch in Satoru’s room and called to ask about dinner, only for him to say he already had it and was pulling into the parking lot. You three ate dinner cross legged on Satoru’s bed and ended up falling asleep there too. “Hey, that beat-up sedan got us lots of places before we started warping everywhere.”

“Yeah, and it could probably handle every circle of Hell if you needed it to. It would need a new left blinker, though.”

You lightly poke him in the side and he yelps. “Because you backed it into a telephone pole!”

“That’s your fault for letting me drive in the first place, sweetheart.”

“You are a menace to society, Gojo Satoru.”

“This menace to society got your mind off that shitty nightmare.” Oh. That’s what he was doing. “Your silence tells me I’m correct.” Your continued stunned silence must be interpreted as contradiction and he’s quick to backtrack on his declaration. “Or at least in the ballpark–”

“Shh, yes. Yes, you are correct.” You place a finger on his lips to stop his words and close your eyes against his chest, clinging to the happy memories with Satoru and Megumi to force out the intruding scenes from your nightmare. “You really amaze me, do you know that?”

“Sounds like you have a crush on me.”

“Worship the ground I walk on, Satoru,” you state flatly but can’t help smiling through the end of it. His soft laugh vibrates against your face as you finally start to drift into sleep again, this time confident you could keep the nightmares at bay.

“I already do.”

#jjk x you #gojo x reader #gojo x you #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo #gojo satoru x reader #satoru x reader #gojo jjk #gojo satoru #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you #satoru gojo x y/n #gojo x y/n #jjk angst #jjk hurt/comfort

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fairy-writes · 9 months ago

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THE STORY OF US

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Fandom(s): Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairing(s): Dazai Osamu x Reader

Word Count: 4k (PLS READ, I’M BEGGING YOU)

Genre(s)/Tag(s): Pretty Heavy AU (idk what to call it tho), Female!Reader, Time Traveler!Reader, Time Traveler!Dazai, Reader is shorter than Dazai

Taglist: @underthetree845 | @nezuko-kamado-cute-demon

Notes: I don’t know what I’m doing

VERY HEAVILY RIVER SONG INSPIRED (find my quotes lol)

I might write part two from the Reader’s POV (don’t get your hopes up tho, I’m notoriously bad with writing part two to things, but if I get requests I’m more likely to do it!)

I just now realized that the title is also a Taylor Swift song, but I don’t wanna change it

Also, I’m just saying this now, this is not every scene I had in mind. A lot of scenes got cut for my sanity.

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Osamu first discovered he could time jump when he was eleven.

It had been an accident, really. Well, maybe not a complete accident. Osamu wanted to escape everything—his parents' arguing, their fights. But, of course, he had nowhere to go. As an eleven-year-old boy, there wasn’t anywhere that would hire him. He had no other family that wasn’t across the other side of the world.

He was completely and utterly alone.

The shouting was reaching its peak. Osamu shoved his pillow further over his head as if trying to suffocate himself as his mother screamed something at his father. Something about his lies.

Ha. If only she knew how much Osamu lied.

Lied about his day at school. (Anything to get her off his back.)

Lied about having friends. (Anything to make them not suspicious.)

Lied about everything.

The screaming grated on his ears through the pillow, and he ground his teeth until his mouth hurt.

Couldn’t they just shut up?

Couldn’t they just go away?

Suddenly, something was different. Osamu felt a tugging in his stomach. It was as if someone wrapped a string around his middle and yanked. Almost like he was being squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste.

And then he could hear… water? The sounds of a river that should not be audible even through the open window. Did they even live near a river?

Osamu peeked out from the pillow over his head and was blinded by sunlight. He sat up and realized his pajamas were covered in scalding hot sand. Golden sand stretched for miles and miles, a long twisting river just visible in the distance. On the horizon, he saw pyramids being erected high into the sky.

What the hell?

And the rest was quite literally history.

December 31st, 1925

New York City

The air was cold. Snow fell in flakes as Osamu watched the snow fall outside the bar, nursing a whiskey on the rocks as he paid no mind to anyone around him. He had aged since his first trip through time. Though he could never remember how old he was. He looked to be in his early twenties, but everyone looked so different in different time periods, so he could’ve been thirty, and that would’ve made sense.

“Mind if I sit?” Comes a sweet voice. He looks to his left and sees you.

You’re dressed to the nines in a silver slip flapper dress with black beads decorating the length of the gown. Your hair was cut in a neat bob, a feather headband decorating the up-do. The kohl around your eyes only accentuates the pretty color.

Osamu plasters a grin across his features, and you shift. He gestures grandly to the stool beside him,

“I could do with a gorgeous woman’s company.” He quips, and you laugh good-naturedly before sliding onto the stool beside him. He can feel your warmth through the woolen fabric of his suit coat, and he takes a sip of liquid courage, suddenly feeling somewhat hesitant to talk to you.

There was something about you. Like you knew all Osamu’s secrets already.

You lean your cheek on the palm of your hand, smiling with ruby-red lips and brilliant teeth that were ahead of their time.

That should’ve been his first clue.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Where are we at now?” You muse, and he frowns as he sips at his whiskey. This was one of the only bars that still sold alcohol through the prohibition.

“Sorry, I’ve never seen you before in my life.” He says, and you cock your head, eyebrow raised, as you pick at the seams of your silken gloves. You abruptly stop picking and reach into your clutch purse that rested in your lap, pulling out a worn notebook he didn’t recognize. It was well-loved, with pictures stuffed in between the pages.

“So we haven’t done France yet?”

“France?” You lean back giddily and hold your notebook to your chest.

“What a night that was! Dancing in front of the Eiffel Tower? That ring a bell?” Osamu shakes his head.

He had yet to go to France. In all his time jumping, he hadn’t seen the point in going to France, much less the City of Love.

Now it was your turn to frown, flipping through your little notebook, and he spies neat handwriting in various languages. English. Japanese. German. Latin. And were those Egyptian hieroglyphs? All throughout the pages, he spies his picture scattered across the ink.

Just who were you?

And why do you have all those pictures and drawings of him?

“What about picnicking at Versailles?”

Another shake. Another page turned.

“The Titanic? What a messy time that was!”

“What is that?” He eventually asks, and you quickly flip it shut before he can actually read anything.

“Spoilers.” You say quickly, and when he arches an eyebrow, you sigh, call the bartender over, and order a glass of champagne. The two of you wait in silence until you get your drink. Eventually, you speak after you’ve downed half of your champagne flute. “It’s all of our adventures. Time travel gets complicated, doesn’t it?”

As soon as he connects the dots, Osamu is floored.

Another time traveler? He thought he was the only one!

It’s clear you pick up on what he is thinking because your face falls. You look heartbroken. As if he just ripped your heart out of your chest and smashed it into a million pieces. As if you were a lonesome star falling from the sky and drowning in the sea.

“You truly don’t have any idea who I am, do you?” Osamu shrugs,

“Who are you?”

Osamu didn’t know it was possible, but you looked even more upset. Tears welled up in your waterline and smudged your kohl as it dripped down your cheeks. You swallow thickly and sniffle, pulling a handkerchief from your clutch to dab at your watery eyes and ruined makeup.

For whatever reason, Osamu feels his heart ache.

“I suppose this was bound to happen sometime.” You say eventually, and he looks over at you from where he had just downed the last of his whiskey. You’re leaning both of your arms on the counter, running a finger around the rim of your champagne glass.

“What do you mean?” He asks, and you huff, look at him out of the corner of your eye, and your finger stops

“We always meet out of order. Hence, the diary. But… I just never expected it to hurt this much.” You sniffle again, and Osamu realizes he wants to make it better. He realizes he doesn’t like to see you cry.

But he doesn’t even know you!

Why should he care if you cried or not?

“If it’s any consolation… I’m sorry…” He says quietly, and you bark out a laugh,

“There’s nothing to be sorry for! I suppose this is just a chance for me to get to know the younger you.” You sniffle, but that bright smile that makes his heart race lights up your face once again. You seem to think something over before standing and offering Osamu a hand.

“Care to walk with me?” You tease him with a flirty wink, and he finds himself unable to say no.

So, as the clock chimes closer and closer to midnight, the two of you leave the bar, with you each paying for your respective drinks. Osamu offered to buy yours as an added apology, but you just patted his shoulder with a knowing smile and said, “I know you’re awful with money.”

Which… You weren’t wrong.

Just how much did you know about him?

How much had he told you in the future?

You walk next to him, bundled up in a trench coat not unlike his own and with your hands stuffed in your pockets. Osamu pulls his own (matching) trench coat over his suit coat and slacks and follows you out into the sprinkling snow. You both walk side by side in a surprisingly comfortable silence. At least until you hear people counting down in the streets.

10…

You blink and turn to look at him.

“What day is it again?” You ask, and he looks up at the snow.

“December 31st, 1925.” He replies, and you gape in surprise.

9…

“Y’know, I’ve never celebrated New Year's with time travel and all. Never even had a New Year's kiss.” You muse, watching couples get together on the streets.

8…

“Would you like one?” Osamu blurts, and you nearly trip in surprise. Osamu almost follows suit when you stop abruptly to look at him with wide eyes.

7…

“But you don’t even know me.” You say hesitantly, but you turn to face him nonetheless. He finds himself smiling, a soft, genuine sort of smile.

When was the last time he smiled like this?

6…

“I’m giving my future self the benefit of the doubt and trusting his judgment.” He teases, and you relax, hanging your head with a soft giggle. But you don’t pull away when he slowly pulls you in close to him.

5…

Your coat flaps open, and he sees his father’s initials stitched on the side and realizes you don’t just have matching coats—you have the exact same coat.

When did he give that to you? He swore he’d never give it up to remind himself to never return home!

4…

Your soft arms around his neck catch his attention, and you’re suddenly much closer, standing on your tiptoes in your kitten heels.

3…

His arms pull you close by your hips, and he leans down.

2…

Your noses brush.

1…

The kiss is like the fireworks going off above him. His eyes flutter close, and he pulls you impossibly closer. Your lips are soft with the lipstick, and he doesn’t care that it’s likely stained on his mouth.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

The kiss deepens, and you soak up his affection greedily. Like you had been waiting for this forever. Your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him close oh so tenderly.

Like a puzzle piece being fit into place, his heart sang like a choir in a church.

Were you what he was missing all this time?

Could he finally have this?

Could he—

BANG! BANG! BANG!!

You jolt and fall to the ground as a car screeches around a corner and out of sight.

What?

What happened?

Osamu looks down and feels his heart stop.

You’re crumpled against the cement, blood seeping out of bullet holes in your abdomen. Your dress is ruined. But that doesn’t matter.

Osamu falls to his knees, not caring about the cold, wet concrete soaking his slacks. He pulls your upper half into his lap and applies pressure. You cry out and push his hands away.

“I need to put pressure on your injury. Hold still for me, love.” He whispers to you and turns to where people are still celebrating. “AMBULANCE! SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!” He cries, but they’re so wrapped up in their excitement that they don’t hear him.

Your hand touches his face, and he looks down to see you giving him a bloody smile. Crimson leaks from your mouth, and he can tell that you don’t have long.

“Hold on—Hold on, I’ll get a doctor—I’ll—” He stammers in an attempt to calm you (himself) down, and you just spit up blood in a choked laugh.

“We both know I’m not going to survive this.” You wheeze, and he can see the color draining from your face as you lose blood and warmth.

“Then I��ll jump back in time! Time can be rewritten!” You cut him off abruptly with more strength than he thought you had.

“Not those times. Not one line. Don’t you dare.” You say, hand falling to grip his hand as tightly as you could muster.

“But you’re dying.” He says, unable to explain why his heart is breaking to pieces inside his chest. You cough once more and smile that brilliant smile that he finds that he loves so much.

“It’s not over for you. You’ll see me again. You’ve got all of that to come.” You slur your words at this point, and he grits his teeth. Your hand goes weak in his, and he holds it even tighter.

“You and me. All those adventures all over time. You watch us run!” You whisper, and he leans down to press a kiss to your forehead just as you close your eyes.

117 AD

Rome, Italy

The crowd roars louder than Osamu has ever heard it. Bored, he watches as gladiators fight in the ring. The arena is bathed in blood, but he can’t bring himself to care.

He hasn’t cared about much since you died.

He wasn’t even sure why. He barely knew you. But he keeps thinking back to the kiss you shared on New Year’s. He thinks of your words.

“You watch us run!”

“Is this seat taken?” A voice yells over the crowd, and his heart stutters to a halt. He turns, eyes wide to see you.

Oh, how cruel this life was.

You’re dressed in a fashionable, long tunic that goes down to your ankles with a shawl of sorts around your shoulders. Your hair is longer than Osamu remembered. It is no longer a bob but instead curled at the front and with a braided crown in the back. You hold that journal under your arm and smile brightly before scurrying over and sitting beside him.

“Where are we at now?” You ask excitedly, pleased to see him.

But all he can see is your dead body in his arms.

Was there some god up above watching this cruel exchange with glee?

What had he done to deserve this?

“‘samu? Is everything okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

‘samu?

The last person to call him that was his mother. Before she and his father began to fight. Back before he could time jump.

Back when things were simple.

Your hand on his arm has Osamu flinching away, causing you to cringe back as well. You look worried, panicked even, and all for him.

So you didn’t know yet. You didn’t know you were going to die.

So, he doesn’t tell you.

“Sorry, my love, I thought you were a monster here to gobble me up!” He chirps, and your panic melts away quickly. You lean back into his side, and he takes the chance to wrap a bandaged arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him. You giggle and open your book.

“Where are we now?” You repeat, and he shrugs,

“You tell me.” He says, keeping his eyes off your book out of respect and on the gladiator games below.

“France?”

“Not yet.”

“The Wild West? That was fun, wasn’t it?”

“Nope.”

You two go back and forth for a moment before you ultimately sigh and clap your book shut.

“It’s very early for you, isn’t it?” You say, mildly exasperated. Osamu nods silently, heart twisting when you set your book down and lean heavily into his side. He trickles his fingers along your neck, feeling goosebumps rise along the skin, and you shiver.

The games end, and you shuffle out of the Colosseum and through the streets of Rome. You boldly take ahold of Osamu’s hand as if this was regular for you. He can’t bring himself to let go, so he instead makes you laugh by swinging your arms between you, occasionally twirling you in a circle. His chilton feels suffocating despite it being made of linen.

But he can’t bring himself to time jump away. To leave you alone to spare his own feelings.

Perhaps it’s the overwhelming guilt he feels?

Perhaps it’s because he finds himself enjoying your company.

Either way, he allows you to pull him around the ancient cobblestone streets of Rome. Enjoying the markets and public museums that were beginning to pop up all over the city.

The entire time, he doesn’t let go of your hand.

August 8th, 1912

The Wild West

It’s hot.

Almost overwhelmingly so.

Osamu peels off one of his gloves and fans his face with it as he climbs the steps to the little cabin he had been staying at. His bandages itch with the heat, and he has a sneaking suspicion that they’re slowly soaking with sweat underneath his borrowed button-down, vest, trousers, and chaps.

Though he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, he liked this place sans the heat. The people in this little settled town were kind, barely batting an eye when he suddenly appeared in their home. The people he was currently staying with, an older couple named Buck and Bonnie, welcomed him with open arms. They claimed it was because he reminded them of their son, who was out settling the rest of the West.

“Osamu? Are you done already?” Bonnie asks where she’s putting a pie on the windowsill to cool. Apple, by the smell of it, and utterly delicious.

“Just taking a break, Bonnie. Buck works me to the bone!” He says and collapses on the couch, his spurs jingling as he kicks his feet up over the edge of the sofa and leans his head back, tipping his hat down over his face. He hears Bonnie say something, but he’s already halfway to dreamland.

Despite only intending to sleep for a few minutes, Osamu naps for the better part of an hour. He only wakes up when he hears the whinny of an unfamiliar horse and quick steps up to the cabin door. Then, an excited set of knocks.

“Can you get that, Osamu? I’m busy with supper!” Bonnie calls from the kitchen, and he calls back, saying that he would.

Only to come face to face with you.

It had been ages since he saw you. He had yet to see you at any significant historical events that he time jumped to. The Titanic, the moon landing. Hell, he hadn’t even seen you during World War Two when he was accidentally drafted!

“You!” He jabs a finger, and you grin adoringly, stepping under his arm and skipping to the kitchen.

“It’s me, Granny!” You chirp, and he hears a delighted squeal.

“Dearest! It’s been ages!”

So you’ve been here before.

Several times by how familiar Bonnie seemed with you.

Osamu meanders his way into the kitchen, where Bonnie is wiping her hands on her apron. She grins at the sight of him,

“This is Osamu! He’s been helping Buck around the farm for the last few weeks!” She says, and Osamu tips his hat with a wink.

“We’ve met before.” He says, and you jump up from where you had been sitting at the dining table and throw your arms around his neck in a tight hug.

“‘samu!” You cheer, and he returns any affection greedily, pressing a kiss to your cheek. He’s still unable to get the sight of your corpse out of his mind. But he vowed that if he ever saw you again, he’d accept any love you’d give him.

You’re dressed the part of a cowgirl. A long calico skirt and long-sleeved button-down. Your hair is longer than he remembered, tied back in a braid, and a bandana around your neck to protect you from the harsh sun above. Your hat sits on the table, and so do your gloves.

Your skin is just as soft as he remembers.

It isn’t long before Buck is called in for dinner, and the four of you eat together. You sit to Osamu’s right, with Bonnie to his left and Buck across from him. You chat happily with the couple, and Osamu is content with just sitting and watching. You tell an obviously edited version of your adventures, with grand sweeping gestures and voices to accompany your tales.

Long after Bonnie and Buck go to bed, Osamu finds you on the swinging bench on the front porch. You’re writing in your journal, about halfway full, and sketching a picture of him.

It’s an incredible likeness to his face and rather impressive to look at. You even got his cowboy hat right.

“Mind if I sit?” He asks, and you jump, slamming your journal shut and looking up with wide eyes. But you realize it’s him, relax, your shoulders sagging, and nod with a smile. The wood creaks as he sits at your side. His arm stretches along the back like it belongs there, and you lean into his side. He relished in your warmth.

“Have we done Rome yet?” He asks, and you shake your head.

“I was thinking of going there next, though!” You say, and he nods, leaning his head against yours.

“How come you never go to big events?” He asks next, and you hum with a shrug,

“I like the little days. I like seeing how people live their day-to-day lives.” You say, and he can’t help but laugh.

You were truly the exact opposite of him.

You swat his chest,

“Don’t laugh at me!” You cry with mock anger, but a smile curls the corners of your mouth. Like you liked hearing him laugh. You give him pause when you lean up and press a kiss to his nose. He freezes, blinks several times, and stares down at you.

“I love your laugh.” You say, and his smile falters just the slightest bit.

No one liked hearing him laugh.

Not since he left home, at least.

But you were his home now.

October 31st, 2012

Yokohama, Japan

Fog rolls through the streets of Yokohama. Osamu strolls the streets, hands in his pockets. He was alone. At least for the time being. At least until you showed up again.

If you showed up again.

No… You would… Osamu had faith. You usually did on the small days.

Whenever his nightmares got particularly bad, he’d time jump to a place he thought you’d like. This time, it was Yokohama, Japan. Notably, it was Halloween. Nothing ever happened on Halloween. Well… except for that one time…

Oh, whatever.

He had been here for a few months, finding himself at peace in modern-day Japan. He discovered his parent’s graves and realized he was home.

At least… when he wasn’t with you.

Until he saw you crossing the street.

You looked younger than he had ever seen you before. Another young girl walked beside you, both of you dressed in Halloween costumes and laughing amongst yourselves.

But the longer he watched you, the longer he realized something.

You wouldn’t know who he was. No, no, no, it was much too early for that. He had never seen you so young before. Not even in pictures when you had shown him at Versailles.

Was this before you began to time jump?

Suddenly, a hand smacked the back of his head, and he flinched, turning to see his newest acquaintance, Kunikida Doppo. He was shouting something. Something about being a bandage-wasting machine. Something about being a lowlife. He didn’t bother listening.

Instead, he looked back to see you looking at him. There isn’t the faintest glimpse of recognition in your eyes. Nary a clue of who he is.

You genuinely don’t know who he is at this point in time.

You lift a hand and wave with a friendly smile, unknowingly making his heart crack in two.

So, he turns, walks past Kunikida without a word, and heads back the way he came.

“Dazai!” Kunikida’s voice, and he hears his acquaintance (He doesn’t have friends. He’s utterly alone in this world.) running up behind him.

“What is it, Kunikida.” His voice sounds oddly monotone, and he knows he has to get you out of his head before he breaks down. He can’t ever come back here, not without causing a paradox and ripping Yokohama apart.

And that would mean he would never see you, ever.

“Are you okay?” Kunikida’s voice makes him stop. He spins with a plastic smile on his face and his heart threading to pieces.

“Of course I’m okay! What makes you think otherwise?” He titters with an all too fake-sounding laugh. Kunikida looks uncharacteristically solemn.

“Well… For instance, you’re crying.” He says, concern seeping into his tone.

Osamu reaches up and touches his cheek, finding that it is indeed wet and glistening with tears.

#dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu x you #dazai osamu x y/n #osamu dazai x reader #osamu dazai x you #osamu dazai x y/n #dazai x reader #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #fairy writes #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd

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lavnderwonu · 2 months ago

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erica’s 2024 tumblr wrapped!

thank you to @haologram for tagging me <3 i saw some others do this and it seems fun, so I thought i would join in on the fun. 2024 was an okay year, writing-wise, & i thank all who supported me, and the friends that i have made along the way 🫂

— stats!

— words written: 13,199 — works posted: 14

— most popular fics!

the boy next door (idol!boyfriend!wonwoo x fem!reader)

— posted: march 13 — notes: 2,161 (still shocks me...) — comments from author: this is still one of my favorite works of mine lolol. idk what it is but the whole secret relationship with wonwoo just got me.... iykyk. me and wonwoo when????

so high school (fiance!mingyu x pregnant!fem!reader)

— posted: november 11 — notes: 1,182 — comments from author: i adore this fic UGH. it was a guilty pleasure of mine to write girl dad mingyu, & future husband mingyu. this fic was so so so fun to plan out and write (especially since it was inspired by miss taylor's song off ttpd) the song is just so mingyu coded.

— my most recent fic!

book lovers (bookish!jun x bookish!fem!reader)

— posted: december 26 — notes: 102 — comments from author: another guilty pleasure of mine to write bookish characters that are obsessed with books that i am also in love with. i also kinda wrote jun in this based off jess from gilmore girls... the girls that get it get it... #teamjess anyway!

— favorite reads! in no particular order!

— home by @babyleostuff (jungkook) — healing comes in small doses: stomach bug by @tomodachiii (mingyu) — in the night by @etherealyoungk (wonwoo) — how they make you feel beautiful by @gi4hao (ot13) — life with a gamer!wonwoo be like by @intogyu (wonwoo) — their favorite thing to do with you by @intogyu (ot13) — reaction to you being a swiftie during ttpd release by @wonuwrites (ot13) — this feeling, this everglow. by @honeyciders (wonwoo) — soft, shy wonwoo falling in love for the first time by @etherealyoungk (wonwoo) — life with a clingybf!mingyu be like by @intogyu

clearly i need to reblog/save more that i read...

— top songs!

— million dollar baby by tommy richman — making out by no doubt — deeply still in love by role model — sexy to someone by clairo — pyramids by frank ocean — cardigan by taylor swift — the reflex by duran duran — don't bring me down by electric light orchestra — run by bts

— 2025 goals!

i have said it before and i'll say it again, 2025 is the year of living my life. and doing shit! i find myself constantly not doing things just because i'm scared, whether it's scared of change, or just living...idk. nothing changes if nothing changes. i have things i wanna get done this year (i.e. my degree!) and i'm doing it! change is scary but this year i wanna embrace it & grow with it. i also am always too worried about what everybody else is doing and i want to try to stop that, cause it doesn't matter. there's no timeline for life. it seems scary that i'm 25 this year and haven't done a lot of the same things as others my age and it seems lame but i'm on my own path and i need to realize that! ANYWAY enough seriousness... my other goals for this year are: run a half marathon race, dare i say... get a boyfriend..? and attend a formula 1 race later on this year (george & lewis im coming for you!!) & read more books...its good for you!! oh, and become a morning person and wake up earlier, that's good for you too.

taking a moment to thank all of those who read my works, follow me, and who have became my friend over this past year! january 2024 erica wouldn't believe that anybody even read much of her writing or even took the time to talk to her. she thought tumblr was so lonely up until recently, but we've proved 2024 erica wrong! ily all and let's have a great 2025 together!

#lavnderwonu's tumblr wrapped 2024 #erica's wrapped 2024

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z0mbieb0ybyersblog · 1 year ago

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Wild Hearts - chapter one

(WH master list)

pairing: Wolfstar, + side ships that will be added later

warning: mature, strong language, maybe some suggestive things 👀, angst, fluff

word count: 1.1k

ao3 tags: Cowboy Remus Lupin, Cowboy AU, cowboy like me on full volume, I love cowboys, save a horse ride a cowboy type of shit, Disabled Remus Lupin, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, inappropriate use of lassos, Wrote This While Listening to Taylor Swift's Music

notes:

I made a playlist for the fic if you guys wanna check it out!

summary:

Sirius Black is a runaway, burdened by a troubled past, who escapes the confines of his old life and seeks refuge, looking for work on a remote ranch.

The ranch is owned by Remus Lupin, a rugged cowboy who keeps to himself, haunted by his own secrets. Who is looking to hire someone to work on the farm with him because Remus is unable to do the work alone after a farm accident that left one of his legs permanently disabled. Remus had other farmhands but needed someone to live on the ranch with him and take care of the rest of the work.

(originally published on ao3)

The Homestead

The scorching sun beat down on the vast landscape, casting its golden glow over the Silver Crest ranch that stood as a sanctuary amidst the rugged wilderness. Sirius' heart pounded with anticipation as the cab pulled up the property's driveway; it was nothing like where he grew up.

"You sure this is the right place?" The cab driver said as the car came to a stop. Sirius slung his only bag over his shoulder. "Yup." He said, getting out of the cab. He had paid the driver beforehand, so the cab drove off, leaving Sirius to admire where he would work and live for a while.

As Sirius ventured into the ranch, he couldn't help but take in the breathtaking beauty surrounding him. The sprawling fields, dotted with grazing cattle and sheep, hinted at a simpler existence, far removed from the complexities he had left behind.

Sirius approached the opening of the barn. It wasn't that big, but it was a decent size, and its paint was old and chipping away. There was a tan man inside the barn. He wore a dirty white tank top and circle glasses, and his hair was a mess and slick with sweat.

"Hello?" Sirius said to capture the man's attention. The man turned around, confused, but his confusion was quickly replaced with a bright grin. "Hey! What can I do for you?" He asked, walking over to Sirius, "Oh, uh, I'm supposed to start work here today." Sirius stated, and the man took a second before finally realizing, "Oh! You must be Sirius; I'm James. We spoke on the phone." James said, sticking his hand out, "It's nice to meet you in person, James." Sirius said, shaking his hand.

"Well, anyway, about the job, you don't start today; today's mostly getting you situated and showing you around," James explained, and Sirius nodded his head to say he understood. "If you follow me, I can give you a quick tour and show you where you will stay while you are here," James said as he exited the barn, and Sirius trailed after.

James showed Sirius around the property, and they stopped outside an old cabin house. "Here is the bunkhouse; this is where me and some other ranch hands stay," James explained as Sirius examined the building, "Though you won't be staying here." "Why not?" Sirius asked, a bit confused. "Well, your job has more domestic work, so you'll stay in the main house," James said. "The main house?" Sirius asked, and James pointed up the hill to an off-white two-story farmhouse with a metal roof and a porch wrapping around it.

"Who else stays in the main house?" Sirius asked, examining the house from the bottom of the hill. "None of us ranch hands stay up there; it's only Remus up there. I and Peter go up there for a bit, but we don't necessarily stay long." James explained, mentioning someone named Peter, and Sirius assumed it was another ranch hand.

James started going up the hill to the house, and Sirius trailed behind, "Remus said you'll be staying in the extra room. It's kinda small, but it's liveable." James said as they walked up the porch stairs. Sirius didn't care if the room was tiny as long as he had a place to stay.

James opened the screen door and knocked loudly on the entry door; it took a second before Sirius heard loud thudding noises from inside the house approaching the door. When the door swung open, Siriuis was surprised at the sight of the man before him. He expected an older gentleman, but instead, he was met with a young man, maybe around his age; he was taller than him and James. The man had stubble on his chin and scars trailing along his face. The man looked Sirius up and down, confused, before asking James, "Who is this?" "This is Sirius; he is the new farm hand who will be helping you around here," James explained as the man whom Sirius suspected was Remus went back inside the house James followed after, Sirius followed slowly as he went into the home. It was cozy; it looked well lived in; books lined the walls in the living room, many ashes lay in the brick fireplace, and framed pictures lined the mantel over the top.

The three reached a door that sat down the hall from the kitchen, "This is your room." Remus said, opening the door to reveal a small room that was now Sirius' living quarters. Remus walked away before Sirius or James could say anything. As Remus walked away from the pair, Sirius finally noticed that Remus walked with a small limp and was accompanied by a wooden cane.

"Sorry about him. He's not very keen on someone staying here to help him. The others and I had to try everything to convince him to have someone be up here." James sighed and chuckled. "So, what am I here to help him with?" Sirius asked, "Well, you will help him when he is down at the barn. He likes to push himself 'cause it is a lot of work for him and in general, so you'll help minimize that workload. You will also be doing normal stuff around here, like helping care for the animals, but that's mostly it unless Remus says otherwise." James explained. "Oh, one more thing: Remus is a little sour to people, especially newer people, but he means well, I promise," James said, and Sirius mentally noted everything James had told him.

"Alrighty, I'll be heading out back to the farm. You can get yourself situated in your room and prepare for tomorrow's work. Tomorrow, Marlene will help learn the ropes. She's another ranch hand. You'll like her. Anyway, see you around Sirius!" James said cheerfully as he left the farmhouse.

Sirius entered his room finally; it wasn't that bad. He would make do with it. As Sirius put away the clothes he had brought inside the old wooden bureau, he heard a voice behind him, "You don't snore, do you?" The voice said, and Sirius turned quickly to see it was Remus in the doorway. "Um, no?" Sirius replied, and Remus nodded. "Good, the walls are thin, and I don't want to hear it." And he walked off.

A little while later, Sirius shut the door to his room and sprawled out across his bed. Sirius had to get used to being here; it was such a change from his past home; well it wasn't ever home, not to him at least. But this, he hoped, would be his home, a place where he could be him without the constant ridicule of others. A place to be free.

#Spotify #fanfic #ao3 #marauders #cowboy marauders #cowboy remus lupin #cowboy remus agenda #cowboy sirius #cowboys #cowboy #remus lupin fic #remus x sirius #wolfstar #james potter #sirius black #marlene mckinnon #cowboy like me

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nerdyenby · 2 years ago

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Double Life playlist

Explaining the song choices for the Double Life segment of my Traffic series playlist

Automatic by The Mowgli’s: all the functional soulmates finding each other. “Something about our love is automatical, never really know until you’ve had it.”

Tragic by Bailey Bryan: “I move too fast for love, it don’t last.” Pearl going on her own adventures instead of looking for her soulmate, causing a rift between them before they even meet. “Don’t wait up for me, I got a long way to go. Go get what you need, I’ll be getting gone. […] Don’t wait up for me, I’ll be fine.” Her realizing her soulmate is Scott and that he’s not willing to forgive her for abandoning him. “Know what it could be, maybe in another life. […] It’s just tragic, tragic, this shit could be magic. Dancing laughing, hold my hand in traffic. Pause then panic, I can’t break the habit: run from love ‘cause I ain’t ever had it.” They had something special in Last Life, but they’ve already lost the opportunity to be that again. Pearl doesn’t know how to love like that, (I headcanon DL!Pearl as aromantic) she doesn’t need or want a soulmate, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t miss what she and Scott had.

Out of Style by The Wrecks: “You can let me know when you wanna be close again, but if you call and I don’t wanna answer my phone it’s ‘cause […] I just wanna know: when the hell did love go out of style?” Scott declaring him and Pearl not soulmates after she ran off without him.

The Man by Taylor Swift: Pearl’s sadness giving way to frustration and resentment. “I would be complex, I would be cool. They’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to, and that would be okay for me to do. Every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you. I’d be a fearless leader, I’d be an alpha type. When everyone believes ya, what’s that like? I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man. And I’m so sick of them coming at me again. ‘Cause if I was a man, I’d be the man.”

People Watching by Conan Gray: Pearl being alone on the sidelines, watching all the other soulmate pairs living happily together. “I’m only looking to live through you vicariously. I’ve never been in love, not seriously. […] Cut people out like tags on my clothing, I end up all alone but I still keep hoping. I wanna feel all that love and emotion, be that attached to the person I’m holding. Someday I’ll be fallin’ without caution, but for now I’m only people watching.”

Normal by The Wrecks: Pearl watching Scott from a distance, sending pain through their soulbond. Whether it’s to get his attention — to remind him that she’s still his soulmate — or to torment him, no one knows, least of all her. “I’m getting used to your silence, it can’t hurt me like I can. I don’t hate you but goddamn, you didn’t make it easy.” This next part of the song goes hard if you interpret Pearl as aro and dealing with internalized aphobia, but it’s not necessary. “I just wanna fall in love like everybody else does, how come it’s so hard for me? How come it’s so hard for me? Why don’t I get to be normal?”

Getting Over You by Cemetary Sun: Scott and Cleo being chosen soulmates. “I think I found somebody new. I know I don’t deserve it but it’s true. I didn’t wanna have to cut you loose. Yeah, I’m getting over you.”

Mad Woman by Taylor Swift: “What did you think I’d say to that? Does a scorpion sting when fighting back? They strike to kill, and you know I will.” Pearl’s angering simmering and her reputation spreading. “Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy, what about that? And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry. And there’s nothing like a mad woman, what a shame she went mad. No one likes a mad woman, you made her like that.”

WITCH by Devon Cole: Hex’s animatic is what got me into this fandom, I couldn’t not include this song. People talking about Pearl behind her back. “I swear to God I saw her howling at the sky. She ain’t out to get you, but she’s better on your side.” Pearl embracing her reputation and going full in, doing everything in her power to get under Scott’s skin.

Play w/ me by Bailey Bryan: Pearl reclaiming her image and proving a point to Scott. “You act all innocent […] but then don’t text me ‘til it’s time to fall asleep. Boy you don’t see, you play yourself when you play with me.” She’s not seeking an apology, this is not remorse or a chance for reconciliation, this is a warning. “Hit me like a sucker punch, feeling like a bitch slap- ever seen a bitch snap? Well you about to. […] Tell me why you thinking you can come around me with all this different, always switching energy. It’s childish and tiring to say the least, that’s why I don’t trust these men.”

Killing Boys by Halsey: “Told me pick my battles and be picking ‘em wise, but I wanna pick ‘em all and I don’t wanna decide […] ‘cause you don’t need me anymore. And I won’t ever try again, and all I want in return is revenge, ‘cause I don’t need you anymore.”

Midnight Rain by Taylor Swift: Pearl about Scott, they form a tentative alliance but she’s not ready to put their past behind them. “He was sunshine, I was midnight rain. He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame. He stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight rain.”

Slowly, Slowly by The Mowgli’s: As others drop like flies, Pearl take an active role in the battle but it still catches her off guard when it’s down to just her and Scott. She’s even more surprised when Scott hands her the win, saying it’s her who deserves it. “It’s only you, it’s only me. It’s only love, and it’s only fair you find your peace.”

The last great american dynasty by Taylor Swift: There are no survivors, there never are. “And they said, ‘there goes the last great american dynasty.’ Who knows if she never showed up what could’ve been. There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen. She had a marvelous time ruining everything.”

#this is my favorite section #it’s just a girlboss girlbossing #traffic series #trafficblr #life series #double life #pearlescentmoon #scott smajor #cw death mention #cw swearing #nerdy’s traffic analysis

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maygrantgf · 2 years ago

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temptation tuesday!

tagged by @honestlydarkprincess aka loml

I have so many ideas but no actual wips helpppp

clementine eddie a character study fic based on the song clementine by halsey (CRACK THAT BABY MAN OPEN LIKE AN EGG)

buck gets slashed on his arm tbh idk why maybe they're on a call and it like a lot of bystanders and buck is the one to keep them back? idk how that works LMAO but buck talking to someone about what happened and eddie is a somewhere off to the side tending to a patient when he notices something off he just can't quite place what he sees a knife before it actually registers that it's a knife and buck doesn't notice at all so eddie yells and the guy with the knife slices buck's raised forearm and the guy takes off bobby runs after him eddie rushes to buck's side holds his forearm and calls for hen but shes already on their way towards them and buck falls on his ass bc he's in shock and in a lot f fucking pain and eddie and hen go down with him and they're trying to like? calm him down a lil bc he doesn't realize he's kinda yelling. um. eddie hugs buck from behind bc i love that shit !!!!!!

"he can't see me" buck temporarily goes blind on a call gone wrong (insp by fringe iykyk)

buck/eddie mouthing I love you means a lot to me idk

1121 by halsey specifically the lyric "i won't die for love but ever since i met you you could have my heart and i would break it for you" aka another character study fic

"I've never loved anyone as much as I love you" buck is sleepy and mumbles that to eddie its very cute. idk if i wanna write it on its own or put it in a long fic

buck starting a fight with eddie and storms out of the house and eddie finds him on a park bench by the pier um alexa play false god by taylor swift

buck taking a bath goes under water in the tub at chim and maddie's ✨️suicidal ideation✨️ bro is Not doing well !

chimney "CLEAR" *shocks* chim hen and buck go get coffee after a call and someone tries to rob them ???? idk but chim saves the day bc he's sexyyyy

buck eddie lucy kidnapped !!!! anyone watch that castle ep after hours? them vibes

demon fic @lovebuck and @bigfootsmom know about this in more detail but basically buck is being tortured? haunted? by a demon. maybe i'll write it for halloween ? 👁👁

buddie proposal eddie is Trying ok but things keep HAPPENING its gonna give "this is going to go fine" and then "this is not going fine" and then "this is fucking awful im fucking everything up" and then "I can't live like this fuck it imma just propose in the kitchen in front of all of these dirty dishes"

ok ok ik it's late I'm SORRY I'm tagging @swiftiebuckleys @swiftiediaz @herodiaz @dijkstraspath @dollhousejee @usercowboy

#ty for tagging meeee #relly writes stuff

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cowboylikeekatie · 1 year ago

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all 35 lol tysm for answering those 2 tho!!

okay here i go!

6: i get mistaken usually around 15-16, it’s close to my age tho so it doesn’t matter

7: i don’t have any tattoos! i want to get a little disco ball tattoo when i’m older because of mirrorball by taylor swift:)

8: i just answered this one ^^

9: i have my ears pierced but other than that no piercings!

10. i want either a bellybutton piercing or double ear lobes!

11. my best friends name is richie! i forgot his tumblr so i can’t tag him tho!

12. i’m taken! i have the sweetest bf ever:)

13. i’m not going to answer my turn ons because idk

14. turn offs uh i hate when people r like really just mean?

15. my favorite movie huh i wonder…(IT 2017) (or brokeback mountain)

16. i’ll love you if you let me ramble about my hyperfixations or even better if u love them too and reply to me and we can discuss

17. i miss my grandpa because he’s like dead

18. my most traumatic experience was like probably having one of my closest friends in the past like… manipulate me into a lot of stuff, idk i don’t wanna vent so i’m not going to go into detail but it sucked

19. a fact about my personality is probably that i’m like very anxious, i talk fast i ramble fast i rant a lot it’s just a me thing idk

20. the thing about myself i probably hate the most is that i’m really avoidant without realizing it? if i start to actually be close to someone i’ll usually just get distant, or my weight. my insecurity about my weight used to be a lot worse but i just try to ignore it now

21. the thing i love most about myself is that i’m really goal oriented. i love to work hard to do something

22. OOH i love this question! when i’m older i want to be a child psychologist or a pediatrician! i want to go to yale (in connecticut) or to colby college (which is in maine)

23. my relationship with my brother used to suck a lot because we argued so much but i think we’ve gotten closer

24. me and my parents get along super well! they’ve always told me i can do whatever i want and they’re so kind.

25. my idea of a perfect date depends on the person? idk maybe a picnic

26. my biggest pet peeves are snoring and mouth breathers sorry

27. a description of the boy i like uh he’s my age, he’s probably 4 ish inches taller than me i think, he has brown hair

28. the person i dislike the most is taller than me, she’s 2 years older, uh idk

29. i try not to lie but i did have a friendship where i lied to them because i was scared they’d be mad

30. i hate the stress of it, like i’m academically motivated but i’m really scared of getting in trouble or being late to class

31. my last text message is “your gonna be my twin for twin day during spirit week right? i actually think that’ll be easy because we shop at a lot of the same places”

32. being called fat is the word that upsets me the most

33. i enjoy being called smart

34. in women i like when they’re taller, uh masc, that’s it

35. in men i like when they’re taller, glasses, long hair

36. connecticut! i want to live somewhere colder

37. my weight is one of my insecurities

38. i wanted to be a rockstar when i was little

39. coffee is my fav ice cream flavor!

okay thanks 🫡

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stuckinmymind22 · 21 days ago

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playlists | stay/is it over now? + better man

Chapter 1

pair: portgas d. ace x afab reader (she/her)

modern au | multimedia | musician ace | more info on story

tags: fluff fluff and more fluff, cursing, group chat alert, luffy cameo, goofy ace, also they’re both fucking stupid lowkey (she said like she didn’t write them that way) lowkey imply ace and reader are sluts (good for you!!)

mdni: please - look i can't tell you how to live your life but this isn't for you pls avoid thx

wc: 7.7k (i said it would be shorter and it's the same fucking length 😭)

excerpt:

“You wanna go back to my place?” Ace asks. After the words leave his mouth he seems to have realized the potential implications of them. His face reddens and he trips over his words, “N-Not like that - I -” You cut him off with a laugh, unknowingly bestowing mercy on the poor man, who knows he would’ve dug himself deeper trying to escape. This is by far the most embarrassed you have ever seen him, and it is kind of endearing. It’s clear that he has started to let you past his confident persona, and you appreciate the vulnerability. Your interruption gives him time to recover, at least a little bit. “I meant to like play video games,” he clarifies, scratching the back of his neck. To his relief, you readily agree to his offer, rather eagerly too. He probably shouldn’t read into that, right?

a/n: AHHHHHHH sorry it took so long i want to say it wont happen again but i am not predictable. also it turns out i really like the word mischief (thank you thesaurus or else it’d be in here 16 times)

we're working really hard on not second guessing every single thing i write, but i am in the trenches lol somethings might be cringe but that's part of the process idfk

important: theres a lot of text messages (well i feels like a lot) and i did my best to add in alt text so i hope that works if anyone needs it. lowkey starts off a bit choppy bc there's a lot of texts but it'll get longer i promise (this'll also happen again though)

song(s): there's a lot of songs in this chapter, so i made a list but they'll still be linked when used.

just a note that the songs don't necessarily reflect what happens in the chapter

stay - post malone is it over now? - taylor swift better man - 5 seconds of summer

here's the playlist for everything

He remembered, that’s the first thing you think when you hear the line. It’s a question about last night’s show. Because you told him how you were dreading it. Not only did he remember, he cared enough to ask.

Holy shit.

A confusing feeling blossoms in your chest when you figure it out. You don’t want to not read into it too much, but there’s a portion of your mind that is running wild. You're unsure of the exact intention behind it but it’s got you hook line and sinker – not that you are going to admit that to anyone, not even yourself.

Truth be told it is something you never would’ve thought of doing, talking with lyrics like this. Ace found a love language that you didn't know existed, much less one that you’re already fluent in. The platonic kind, you hastily tact on to the thought.

Knowing he’s already near his phone (judging by his quick response time) you’re calling him before you even notice you’re doing it. To your surprise, Ace picks up before the second ring, leaving you no time to second guess your actions. “You know you could’ve just asked me to call you, or call me yourself,” you tease, forgoing a greeting. Once he answered, talking to him came naturally, despite your initial nerves.

“Well hello to you too,” Ace laughs. His voice sounds even better than you remember, somehow. “And I know, but this is more fun,” the mischievous twinge in his voice has you wishing you could see his face in more than your mind’s eye. “So are you gonna tell me or do I have to guess,” he teases.

“I don't know, maybe you should ask,” you push back. Ace sighs exaggeratedly but relents. “I’m so glad you asked,” you giggle. You go on to tell him about the night before, which, luckily, went better than you expected.

Unaware, or uncaring, of the passage of time the two of you talk for nearly an hour before the call comes to an end. Your heart’s racing, you need to tell someone about this.

note: i completely forgot about kaya until i was adding the alt text to this and i dont wanna redo it, so please forgive me

Despite Ace making an effort to show up early, when he arrives at the cafe you agreed to meet at he finds you waiting there for him. You spot him quickly and wave him over wearing a big smile. He tries to ignore the way his heart picks up pace.

“Fancy seeing you here,” you say playfully, bumping his shoulder as he stands next to you entering the line.

“It’s a small world,” Ace shrugs, sticking his hands in his pockets, “Whatcha gonna get?”

“Why? You wanna copy me, Cowboy?” you tease, eyes flickering to his hat.

“Cowboy?” he questions, amused. “It suits you,” you shrug. Ace can’t help but recognize how this mirrors one of your first interactions when he called you doll for the first time.

The banter between the two of you flows freely, until you sit down at a table in the back corner of the cafe and your demeanor starts to shift. Ace watches you as you stare at the table and play with your hands. He can’t help but wonder what’s on your mind, he’s pretty sure he hasn’t seen you nervous like this before. Whatever inner turmoil you were experiencing seems to disappear and you look back at him with a disarming smile.

“I don’t think I asked this, but how long have you been performing? I mean seeing you play - it’s clear you’re a seasoned vet when it comes to crowd work cause that kind of skill doesn’t appear overnight,” your singing of his praises has Ace becoming flustered. He’s never been good with compliments.

It isn’t hard to see that he isn’t as confident in his abilities as he pretends to be. Logically, he knows that what you’re saying is true, but something in his brain refuses to believe it. Either way his cheeks flare up and he avoids your eyes until the red in his face has died down.

“I started playing shows a few years ago, in my late teens. Playing really wherever I could and I did that for a couple of years,” it’s at this point he looks at you again, “I had to quit for a few months but other than that it’s been nonstop since I started.”

“Was that when you joined the navy?” you ask. Ace is a little taken aback by your question, he didn’t expect you to remember something he told you in passing the first time you met. This time, Ace is able to hide the blush he felt creeping up his neck. He can’t help but feel ridiculous, he isn’t like this with other people. Besides, you’re friends, just friends.

“Yeah, I got pretty big over there,” he admits. “I even had a few labels approach me, but I wasn’t interested in working with them. One of them’s super persistent though. Like annoyingly persistent. I said I wasn’t interested and they didn’t let go. They’re a big one too, so not even me moving across the country stopped them from knocking at my door.”

“They’re still bothering you?” you raise an eyebrow. Shit, he was not supposed to tell you that. “If they’re that interested in you, you probably could get a good deal.”

“I’m working on it,” the words slip out of his mouth before he can think about them. Shit. He really wasn’t supposed to say that. Why did he tell you that? You barely know each other.

But then again, he’s always been a pretty good judge of character and for some reason he trusts you. Now that the cat’s out of the bag there’s no point in trying to hide it, plus he’s been dying to talk to someone about it.

Ace leans in, scanning your surroundings before whispering, “I’m not supposed to be telling you this, so you gotta swear yourself to secrecy.” Wearing an endearing, goofy grin he extends his finger. A pinky promise.

Donning a faux seriousness you nod in agreement. You’re barely able to contain your amusement as you swear yourself to secrecy. Something in Ace’s stomach flutters at you playing along with the bit, but he simply chalks it up to sharing information he’s not supposed to.

After the promise is made Ace tells you that “for some reason” this big label is dead set on signing him. You know the reason they would do that, you think it’s blatantly obvious too. You aren’t sure if he’s being coy saying that or if he doesn’t see how talented he actually is (it’s both). Because of their interest he has been given the upper hand in negotiations, which for an unsigned, relatively unknown artist, is practically unheard of.

He knows he probably shouldn’t go into the details but you look so cute intently listening to him like this. Plus you did pinky promise. “It is still in talks, so nothing is set in stone yet, but I’m not supposed to be discussing it,” he clarifies, you nod in understanding and he continues, “To be honest, I’m not even sure I’ll take the deal, even if they give me everything I want. I really like to be independent and not having to answer to anyone.

“However,” Ace’s tone turns mischievous and his eyes light up, “it is fun to see how far they’ll go.”

“So you’re trolling them,” you question, clearly amused by his antics. “Basically,” he confirms with sparkling eyes and a shit-eating grin. “But who knows? I might take them up on the offer” he feigns sincerity, pausing for a moment. You raise an eyebrow, knowing more is coming. “...Eventually, probably not though.” There it is, the roguish smile slips back onto his face. You shake your head but fail to hold back your laugh.

“‘s kinda annoying that they don’t leave me alone. And I’m doing fine without ‘em. I’m nearly halfway through my first album, just gotta get back in the studio – it’s been a while,” Ace chuckles.

“I don’t think I’ve been in a studio in years,” you confess.

“You make music?” he questions, a little surprised you didn’t bring that up earlier, although you haven’t known each other too long he supposes.

“I mean kinda?” you say more as a question. “I really enjoy production, I actually went to school for it.”

“For real?”

“Mmhmm,” you confirm, “that’s where I met Luffy and Usopp actually. We took a class together and Usopp’s the one who got me my job.”

“You should come into the studio with me sometime. Maybe you can show me the ropes or something,” Ace says so casually with a charming smile that it nearly takes your breath away.

“I don’t know, I’m definitely out of practice,” you confide.

“So?” he questioned, “I’m sure it’ll be easy to pick back up.”

“We’ll see,” you smile, leaving it open ended.

Your conversation wanders and by the time it dies down your drinks are long gone and so is your reason to stay, but neither of you truly want to leave each other’s company. A rare semi-awkward silence envelopes the table as the two of you independently rack your brain for some way to prolong your time together, neither of you aware that the other is doing the same.

You cut him off with a laugh, unknowingly bestowing mercy on the poor man, who knows he would’ve dug himself deeper trying to escape. This is by far the most embarrassed you have ever seen him, and it is kind of endearing. It’s clear that he has started to let you past his confident persona, and you appreciate the vulnerability.

Your interruption gives him time to recover, at least a little bit. “I meant to like play video games,” he clarifies, scratching the back of his neck. To his relief, you readily agree to his offer, rather eagerly too. He probably shouldn’t read into that, right?

~~~~~~

It isn’t until you are both standing in front of his door that the nerves really hit Ace. He doesn’t usually bring girls home, especially not just to hang out. Now that he’s thinking about it he has never brought a girl here since he moved in a few months ago. You’re kind of uncharted waters to him, he admits to himself. But there’s no going back now, besides, he wanted this– he wants this.

You can see the tension build in his shoulders as thoughts race through his mind. Ace opens the door, moving to the side to let you in first. You’re curious what’s got him stressed but you decide not to question it, instead you direct your attention to the interior.

The apartment is pretty standard for a single man in his twenties. It has all the necessities, a couch, a lamp, a TV (with its own dedicated stand, so that’s impressive), and a small coffee table. If anything it was above average out of the many similar places you’ve been to. The only things out of place were the guitar precariously perched against the couch and a litany of notebooks. Evidence of his songwriting. He moves the notebooks and guitars out of the way with great care.

“Um, what game do you want to play?” Ace questions, consciously trying not to be awkward.

You rack your brain for a game, it doesn't take you long to settle on one. It's a popular one that you're quite good at - there's the added bonus that it's competitive and you and Ace have a score to settle (not that this compares to drinking but it is a competition so it still counts in your mind).

“You’re in luck,” he says, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. Little do you know that you picked the one he wants to play; it’s one of his favorites too. As he is pulling up the game he tosses you a controller. “I should warn you that I am pretty good at this one,” he teases, “But don’t worry, I’ll let you warm up. Give you a fighting chance and all.”

You scrunch your nose in mock offence. “I’m not worried,” you assert, holding your head high, “I don’t even need a warm up, I’m ready to kick your ass right now.”

“I like the confidence,” Ace responds, “but I haven’t played for a while so please.” He isn’t exactly lying, he hasn’t played the game in a while, but he isn’t exactly telling the truth either – he does genuinely want you to have a fighting chance and he knows that this way your pride won’t get in the way. Your eyes soften and you relent to his request.

After choosing characters and picking one of the easier maps you start playing. Despite being the one who claimed he needed a refresher, Ace is very talkative. The things he’s bringing up aren’t even related to the game, still you entertain him and answer his questions, finding it amusing that he’s unable to keep his mouth shut.

Somehow, you don’t notice how Ace keeps stealing looks at you – he can’t help it though. You’re sitting cross legged next to him, your knee just barely brushing against him, drawing his attention with every slight move you make. It doesn’t help that you look so pretty focused like this, your tongue peaking out of the corner of your mouth in concentration. Once again, you’re confusing him.

He tries talking to take his mind off of it but not only did that not work, it also made him awful at the game. In the first practice round you absolutely annihilate him. There is no other way around it. You tease him for it too, asking if he needs more time to warm up. Ace has no shame in taking you up on that offer, this time stepping up his game. He’s doing pretty well, your skill levels start to seem pretty evenly matched. Feeling more confident he risks a glance at you, and yet again his performance falters. This time he snaps out of it quicker, making a comeback and even winning the round.

“You ready to play for real, Dollface?” Ace challenges.

“You ready for your ego to get bruised,” you retort with a playful glimmer in your eyes. “I don’t see that happening, Doll,” he teases back. “You never know,” you say. Ace laughs, shaking his head.

“Best two out of three?” he questions. “Sure,” you agree, “but it won’t matter either way, I’m gonna crush you.” You know you’re not that good at the game but it’s fun to talk shit idk.

It doesn’t take long for the competition to heat up, both of your competitive natures coming to light. Playful smack talk becomes the backdrop of the rounds with both of you occasionally bumping the other to psych them out. Round three things start to get really tense, you’re tied and so the winner takes all.

Ace manages to take the lead by a rather significant margin, “Looks like I’m winning this one,” Ace beams, his victory seeming imminent.

“Not so fast, hot stuff,” you push back. The comment takes him by surprise, throwing him off of his game. His brain pauses, did you just admit that you also find him attractive?

“Oh so I’m hot stuff now?” he teases. He watches you freeze as embarrassment takes over. “I kinda liked Cowboy,” he continues, with a fake pout.

“It’s not like it’s a lie though,” you say, making momentary eye contact, “might even be more fitting.” Okay now you doubled down on it. Ace is definitely reading into it now. Even after he recovers from the initial shock he doesn’t refocus on the game, his attention now centered on you. You (unknowingly) take advantage of his distraction and manage to pull ahead and win the round.

Going to rub your victory in his face you notice that he is out of it. You realize that he was playing half heartedly and demand a rematch. You want to win fair and square. Ace complies and he wins the next one. You try to walk back the rematch claiming the victory was valid, but (predictably) he fights back. Best two out of three turns into best three out of five to best five out of seven. Eventually, you stop keeping score at all.

Laughter echoes throughout the room, both of your antics and tactics for winning getting more and more ridiculous. You can’t recall the last time you laughed this hard. You really like being around Ace, and that might become a real problem, but for now you push that to the back of your mind. It’s an issue for later, for now you want to concentrate on the present and enjoy his company.

Although you’d started at a respectable distance, that gap’s been closing slowly without your awareness. Following another win you turn to gloat and you realize exactly how close you are. Ace’s freckles are much more visible from here. Automatically, your brain starts painting constellations on his cheeks finding patterns in the dots speckling his face.

Your eyes fall down to his lips and stop their journey. It is clear that something has shifted. There is an unknown gravity that is pulling you in. You’re so close now, you can feel his breath fanning across your face. If you lean in just a little bit more –

The sound of the front door slamming open brings you back to reality. Eyes grow wide in joint surprise. Luffy’s greeting rings out through the room. Before he can suspect anything you move away from Ace, trying to bury your disappointment.

Ace, whose back is towards the door, shakes his head, muttering a curse at his brother before turning around. “Luffy, what did I tell you about slamming the door,” Ace shouts, chastising his brother. “Sorry,” Luffy laughs, kicking his shoes off.

You take the moment of refuge to process what just happened, well what almost just happened. It’s good that this happened actually, you reason with yourself. It would only complicate things in the long run. Imagine if things go south and you were forced to see him at work, no thank you.

Ace gives up on scolding Luffy for his repeated unannounced visits as the younger boy walks away into the kitchen. Hold on, why is Luffy here? “Sorry about him, he has keys to the place, which I regret giving him, and likes to show up and raid the fridge,” Ace makes a point to say the last parts louder, clearly intending for his brother to hear. Luffy’s boisterous laugh echoes from the kitchen.

Luffy must’ve caught onto the fact that Ace had company over because he exits the kitchen with curious eyes. Actively eating out of an open tupperware of leftovers, he scans the room catching sight of you on the couch. In classic Luffy fashion, he greets you excitedly – mouth full of food. Then he looks puzzled. “Why are you here?” he asks point blank. His abrasive questions are nothing new to you so you don’t take it personally.

“She’s –” Ace starts off, not getting far before Luffy cuts him off. “Oooo, video games! I wanna play!” Luffy exclaims. He quickly annihilates whatever it is he’s eating before returning the dishes to the kitchen.

Ace knows that Luffy isn’t the best at recognizing social cues and it isn’t even his fault. However, that doesn’t stop Ace from being annoyed. He is ready to throw him out by the scruff of his neck when Luffy reemerges. Luffy, still full of excitement, stands nearby seemingly waiting for permission to join.

Realizing Luffy would be a good buffer and help prevent whatever the hell nearly happened, you readily accept his involvement, but ultimately leave the decision up to Ace. Ace wants to say no, he really wants to say no, but you expressing your willingness for him to join and Luffy’s fucking puppydog eyes (Ace always has been a sucker for them, especially knowing that they are earnest everytime) has him caving really quick.

“Yay!” Luffy exclaims, running over to grab a controller. Luffy, for his part, is pumped to be hanging out with both of you guys. You’re two of his favorite people in the whole wide world, why wouldn’t he want to hang out with you together. He plops down between the two of you eager to play. You can’t help but chuckle at his extreme joy.

At first Luffy doesn’t play the game seriously, choosing to goof off. At one point he gets up in the middle of a match to go get (steal) more food, walking right past Ace who yells at him prompting Luffy to laugh. During his absence you and Ace focused on fighting each other, ignoring Luffy’s character – turns out that was a mistake. Luffy comes back, mouthful of food and manages to beat you both. And not by a little bit he destroys you both, claiming victory for the first time that night. In hindsight it was slightly suspicious that he was losing so badly when you remember him being somewhat decent at the game (as in he doesn’t die in 30 seconds, not that he wins).

After that the gloves are off, it turns out that Luffy is now good at the game, like really good. He goes on a winning streak. You’re rotating who is picking the map for the rounds and no matter what is chosen it’s like Luffy has the home game advantage. You and Ace grow increasingly more exacerbated, accusing him of cheating despite none of you knowing how one could even cheat at this game. He keeps laughing at the incredulous looks on your faces.

Luffy bags nearly half a dozen rounds before you start to do something about it. When it is Luffy’s turn to pick the map, Ace catches your eyes. Somehow you two have become masters at silent communications. Immediately you know that he wants to form an alliance to take his brother down. With your joint effort you manage to take him out. Both of you cheer in victory, seemingly forgetting that the match wasn’t over until Luffy brings it up. And the game is back on.

Luffy doesn't win a single round after your joint effort to take him out, but he laughs at how competitive you and Ace are. You end up going back down to a two player game while Luffy watches, periodically leaving for more food (you’ve stopped questioning how he does it at this point). Luffy eventually announces his departure – citing his hunger as the reason, which Ace knows means that he cleaned them out again.

And just like that, you and Ace are back to being alone.

Some of the tension from earlier bubbles its way back up to the surface, and it’s clear that the both of you feel it too. Even after forcing the energy to go away it still lingers; it’s background radiation now. Despite your feelings, both of you are pretending that you’re “just friends.”

Ace is the first to break the silence, offering you something to drink (scolding himself for forgetting to do so earlier). Luffy might eat all their food but he knows better than to drink all their alcohol/but at least he leaves the booze alone. You gratefully accept his offer.

However, you were not prepared for what watching him use a bottle opener would do for you/would awaken in you. Why the fuck is that sexy when he does it? You feel insane. It is not normal to have that reaction and it is definitely not normal to feel that way about a friend. The problem is worse than you thought, you have to nip it in the bud. Have you seen his arms? Dear lord. Even your thoughts betray you. Annoyingly, you can’t stop imagining the feeling of his lips.

The worst part is he’s none the wiser for it, but you intend to keep it that way. You beat the horny demon back with a stick (insert bonk meme). With some effort you are finally able to force the thoughts away at least for the time being. Once you return to normal, you realize he’s talking to you.

“-- I don’t know how he did it. He used to suck at that game and whine every time he lost, I can’t believe he wiped the floor with us.” You’re quick to catch onto the fact that he’s talking about Luffy’s insane winning streak

“I wasn’t expecting it either. Last time we played this at game night he was pretty bad at it. It’s crazy how fast he turned that around,” you say, slipping into the conversation as if you were attentive the whole time.

~~~~~~

“You’ve never seen it?” Ace questions, eyes wide. After getting some food delivered, the two of you had gotten onto the topic of your favorite movies and you have never seen his favorite. You confirm again that you don’t know the movie. He shakes his head, “That ain’t right, we gotta fix this.” A chuckle leaves your lips, but you don’t protest. Ace is already pulling the film up when he pauses and checks the time, “Ah shit, it’s getting late. D’ya think you have time for a movie?” he questions with a hopeful gaze.

Checking your phone, you determine you have at least a couple more hours before you’d get uncomfortable walking home. “I got the time,” you say and watch as a faint smile blossoms on his lips – the very lips you were staring at earlier, dying to kiss.

Calm down, you scold yourself.

“Okay, wait right there,” he says before dashing away sporting a childish grin. God, he is not helping your cause. He runs into the kitchen and moments later you hear the hum of a microwave. First you were horny and now you’re acting like you’re in high school. You need to pull yourself together. His footsteps pad off to somewhere else but you are no longer paying attention to him, at least you’re trying really hard not to.

The description of the movie starts to look real interesting, you read and reread it until you can think straight. By the time that happens, Ace is already on his way back with a big bowl of popcorn and a comforter, shutting off lights as he goes.

After setting down the popcorn on the table, Ace plops onto the couch. “Come closer, I don’t bite,” he teases, lifting up the edge of the thick blanket. “Unless you want me to,” he winks, it could just be the lighting but his eyes seem darker than before. Your breath catches momentarily at the insinuation before a chuckle runs through you and you scoot over to join him underneath the blanket.

Now satisfied that you’re all settled he presses play and promises you a cinematic masterpiece. It's hard for you to focus on it at first (or anything really), especially when you realize how close you are to him. In reality, you’re not much closer than you were playing video games, but under a blanket it somehow felt different.

It doesn’t take long before the story draws you in, pulling you away from your confusing thought processes. Ace, however, did not account for how distracting you would be. Oftentimes he found himself watching your reactions to what was happening more than the movie itself. He wants to think that it’s because he knows it so well he doesn’t need to look to know what’s happening, but that’s not true.

Not too long after the film started you catch Ace looking at you. “What?” you question with a laugh. He silently dismisses your question with a smile, turning his attention back to the screen. Shrugging it off you do the same.

Forcing himself to look at the TV instead of you turns out to be a good idea. This way you can no longer distract him. Ace falls back into the familiar storyline, getting absorbed by it.

A little bit past the halfway mark of the film you start to grow sleepy. At some point you got even closer together, now you can feel his body heat radiating off of him. Your eyelids are getting heavy. His smell is oddly comforting, between his blanket and the source the scent envelopes you. You’re struggling to keep your eyes open so much that you don’t even notice when you give in to the exhaustion.

A weight falls on Ace’s shoulder out of nowhere. It doesn’t take him long to realize what it is or rather who it is. He’s ready to tease you about it too but his heart melts hearing your soft rhythmic breaths and seeing the peaceful look on your face. He isn’t sure what to do, but he is pretty sure that it follows the cat rule; he is now stuck there until you wake up.

Ace tries to go back to the movie, but he is hyper aware of your head on his shoulder. With nowhere to go and no way to escape you he is forced to face how he feels about you.

In all honesty, you confuse him (to put it bluntly).

You’re friends, he knows that. Yet he wants more - at least he thinks he does. This doesn’t feel like it’s strictly platonic, there’s too much chemistry for that. Shit, he nearly kissed you not even three full hours ago. Troubling enough, he still wants to, and he has for a while now.

Ace tries to figure out what you are to him - what he wants you to be to him – but he can’t quite make sense of it. He’s never really wanted someone like this before and that scares him. Your dynamic is something right outside of his familiarity, he understands most of it but there’s some parts that are confusing.

He knows that he thinks you’re hot, and if earlier meant anything he’s pretty sure you find him attractive too. That part he understands. He also gets the whole friendship thing. What he doesn’t understand is why you using him as a pillow makes him so happy. Why did his heart race when you sent him back songs asking him to coffee? And most of all what the hell possessed him to tell you about his family?

Back at the cafe you had gotten to talking about your childhoods, which prompted you to ask him about his family. The question was innocent enough, it was clear that you just wanted to get to know him, but it came with baggage you couldn't have possibly known about. He normally doesn’t like talking about it but he felt comfortable with you for some reason. Some information about it he felt comfortable enough to share with you freely. He told you about his mother, the neighbor who had offered him refuge when he needed it. Hell, he even touched on Dadan and his life before his brothers. Then you asked about his dad. Once again you had no idea of how the topic of the man leaves a bitter taste in Ace’s mouth. As soon as you noticed how uncomfortable he was, you completely switched the subject. You did it naturally too, like you were trying to cover up the fact that you were giving him an out. You were so quick to bail him out of a conversation he wasn’t comfortable with. It made him like you more, trust you more too, enough that he was willing to circle back to the topic. He has been pushing the boundaries of what he’s comfortable with sharing already, so what’s a little bit more he reasoned to himself. Also, with how well the two of you get along, you were probably going to find out about it eventually. “I don’t talk to my father,” Ace stated emotionlessly, jumping head first into it during a lull in your conversation. You were clearly surprised by him bringing it back up, but you let him talk. “I’ve actually never met the man and never want to. I could if I did, I know where he is and how to reach him, but I have no desire to have anything to do with him,” a hint of bitterness seeps into his tone, contradicting the indifference he exhibited earlier. “Why?” your voice was small, the question seemed to have slipped out of your mouth before you could stop it, when you registered you had said it you clamped your hand over your mouth. “Ummm,” Ace hesitated, “he’s in prison, like famously so,” he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, no longer keeping eye contact. You could tell that he was debating whether he wanted to continue or not and you reminded him that he doesn’t have to tell you anything. That only strengthened his resolve. “I took my mom’s last name to not be associated with him. It’s funny that I’ve never had any contact with him and he still managed to fuck up my life,” he said with a half hearted laugh. He wasn’t entirely sure if he had the courage to tell you his name, but he ripped that bandaid off regardless, “His name’s Gol D. Roger.” Your eyes widened in surprise. Of course you knew the name, he braced himself for impact, or questions at least, but it never came. Instead, he got a look of confusion from you, “You didn’t do any of it so I don’t really care who he is.” Your reaction reminded him a lot of Luffy’s when they were kids, maybe that’s why he felt safe telling you. “Sorry about not having a dad though,” you said, catching him off guard. He snorted, but in the way that coffee ended up going down the wrong pipe and in his nose. “Oh my god, are you okay,” you laughed. Ace responded with a weak thumbs up and you pat him on the back until he got his breathing back under control.

Ace tries to think back on the day as a whole, but he keeps coming back to that moment. He couldn’t figure out what that moment alone means, let alone all of the other things too.

He has virtually no experience with romantic relationships, in fact they are so foreign to him that the thought of one doesn’t even cross his mind. He’s racking his brain to try and come up with an answer. The closest thing he can come up with is a friends with benefits situation. He’s done it before and it has worked (granted it has also failed miserably), but is it even worth the risk?

While he knows he’d be down for it, Ace has no clue if that is something you’d even consider. For all he knows you could be in a relationship. Fuck, what if you’re already seeing someone. He’s never asked, he’s never even thought to. This idea could be dead in the water already. Plus you’re probably not interested in him anyways.

Even if there is something between you two, Ace knows better than to make a move on you (despite how much he kinda wants to). You’re too entwined in his life at the moment for that to be a good idea. For starters you work at the place he now will have regular gigs at. And not simply work there but you are on the production team meaning you’d have regular contact. Not only that, but you’re one of Luffy’s good friends. He heard all about you before he even knew he was gonna meet you (Luffy called Ace a LOT while he was away, keeping him updated on his life in almost excruciating detail). If things were to get messy his brother would be stuck in the middle of it all, and Ace doesn’t want to do that to him. On the other hand, because you are so entwined in his life, will he even be able to hold himself back?

You just got into his life and he already likes having you around so he wouldn’t want to spoil that either. Friends is probably all it could be – friends who find each other hot, sure, but friends nonetheless. But why doesn’t that sit right with him?

~~~~~~

Not long after you leave, while he’s picking up (mostly after Luffy), Ace hears keys in the door. Sabo’s home. Honestly he didn’t even realize he was gone.

“Where were you?” Ace asks his brother as he enters their shared apartment. In all honesty his brother’s unusual absence slipped his mind.

“How was your day?” Sabo questions, ignoring him entirely. Ace does not like the way he said that, like he knows something. Nevermind that he rarely asks that in the first place.

“You first,” Ace stands his ground.

Sabo sighs but gives in, “I got dinner with Luffy then we went to his place.” Knowing he was with Luffy, Ace suddenly understands his tone earlier. There is no way that Luffy didn’t tell him about your presence, the kid isn’t exactly known for keeping his mouth shut. He now knows exactly where this conversation is headed and that there is no escaping it. Ace sighs in defeat, bracing himself for the interrogation.

“You like her, don’t you?” Sabo smiles, no longer under the pretense of asking about his day. Ace, annoyingly, has to hold back a blush, he just hopes the tips of his ears aren’t betraying him by turning red.

“I mean, kinda. She’s a friend, y’know,” Ace tries, really just wanting to get out of this. Sabo levels Ace a look, clearly not buying it. “I don’t know what you want from me,” he caves.

“You know you can’t lie to me, why are you trying,” Sabo says.

“I’m not, she’s just a friend,” Ace insists, he knows full well that he is, he just wishes that it was the truth and that these weird feelings he’s having would go away. At least that would make things a hell of a lot easier. Going for you is a bad idea and he knows it. He just wishes he wasn’t looking for/craving trouble.

Sensing that Sabo didn’t believe him, he gives in, “Fine, I think I like her, I don’t know. It’s weird plus it’s a bad idea. Also no way she goes for me, but still.” Unspeaking, Sabo prompts Ace to continue. Annoyingly, he realizes that talking this through is probably going to help. Ace makes his way to the small dining table they have in the living room with a heavy sigh. When he looks back at his brother, he looks more vulnerable.

“I fucking told her about my dad, Sabo” Ace confesses, hands running through his hair. Sabo’s eyes widen in surprise, it looks like it’s even more than he (and Koala, his long term girlfriend, who knows all about this) thought. The blond takes the seat next to him waiting for him to continue. Ace is fiddling with his hands.

“I’m not even sure why I told her,” Ace starts, fiddling with his hands. “She didn’t even care, no comments, no questions, no nothing,” Ace looks Sabo in the eyes, conveying things that he doesn’t even understand yet. Sabo is well aware of how Ace has been treated due to his biological father, he has witnessed it first hand, right away he knows how big of a deal this is to him.

Ace’s tone and body language shift away from the earlier vulnerability, “But nothing’s gonna happen. It’s all platonic. She’s just really easy to talk to.” He isn’t sure who he is trying to convince, Sabo or himself.

Understanding that he wants to drop the dad topic (even if they’re brothers it isn’t something he loves to talk about) Sabo grows mischievous. “And hot too, right?” he teases.

Ace’s head snaps to him, freaked out that he can tell that. How does he know that? The question is implied. Sabo laughs, accomplishing his goal with Ace’s deer in the headlights look, he’d love to leave it there but he chooses to explain further, “After the party, when you got home, you would not shut up about her. Your ass was hovering over the toilet talking about the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen. I should’ve recorded it, it was embarrassing.”

“Bastard,” Ace scoffs, but his face is inflamed.

“It got pretty graphic too,” Sabo goes on, completely ignoring Ace’s comment in favor of imitating some of the things that he said until Ace’s face was bright red.

“Shut up!” Ace protests, he is so glad you’re not here to see this, but Sabo continues mocking him.

“I almost left you alone to choke and die,” Sabo laughs, right now Ace is kinda wishing he did.

A notification from Ace’s phone pulls him from the conversation (thankfully). It’s a text from you. Sabo also knows it’s a text from you, he can tell by the way Ace is looking at his phone. This is just proving his point, the one he danced around because, knowing his brother, leading him to a conclusion works so much better than telling him point blank.

There’s not anything more he can do so Sabo leaves for his room. Oh wait, he learned something. “Hey Ace,” Sabo calls out from behind the cover of his door (just in case), successfully getting his attention. “She’s single by the way,” he continues wiggling his brows.

“Shut up,” the protest from Ace is weak, his attention clearly back on whatever you were saying.

this one got messed up, pretend those heart hands are at the bottom

BONUS:

they both wingmaning ace independently tbh

we were so close to escaping the y/n curse but then the texts came and i couldn’t figure a way out of it

a/n: so about the bottle opener thing…. i can explain… arms 🤤 ngl i forgot i put that in there until i was "proofreading"

in my headcanon the video game was super smash bros (v silly of me to have a hc about something i wrote)

btw someone needs to stop me there is a slim (large) chance that im gonna make reader have a drunk tattoo (nothing bad probably like doodlebob or a random shape) jus for a joke that isn't really funny

i literally i too much to say i'm making a whole debrief for this 😭

thank you for reading ily 💕

pls like & comment! let me know your thoughts | © stuckinmymind22 | dividers by @enchanthings

#Spotify #portgas d ace x reader #one piece ace #portgas ace x you #modern au #one piece x reader #ace x reader #one piece x you #portgas ace x reader #ace x you #ace x y/n #fire first ace x reader #one piece smau #canon post

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headheartbellarke · 4 years ago

Text

Paper Rings | OWEN JOYNER

Requested by anon: “Owen request? A series of events that leads Owen to finally working up the courage to propose to his girlfriend?” PAIRING(s): Owen Joyner x fem!reader WARNING(s): some language, mentions of abuse, panic attack, anxiety, and fluff haha WORDS: 3.7k SUMMARY: Five times Owen almost asks his girlfriend to marry him, and one time he actually does.

Charlie looks around, feeling out of place amongst the big mirrors, bright lights, and the sparkling diamonds. When his best friend, Owen, told him that he wanted a ‘guys night’ (he’s still unsure as to why he wants to have one: they live together, it’s guys’ night every night – he was expecting bars, or clubs, or fancy restaurants; things they don’t get to do every night, because of work. But he definitely wasn’t expecting to be dragged into a jewellery store.

“O, buddy, what are we doing here?”

Owen shushes him, walking ahead to a counter. A woman with kind eyes greets him. “Mr. Joyner!”

He smiles, familiarity pooling in his eyes.

Charlie frowns. He didn’t expect Owen to be into jewellery – sure, he buys stuff for his sister and mother, but he always takes them with him.

He thinks of Y/N, Owen’s girlfriend of about five years – there’s a possibility that he may be buying something for her, but it’s highly unlikely. Y/N has been pretty vocal about the fact that she hates diamonds, and who’s to blame her, really? Her father used to buy her mother a diamond necklace after every time he hit her or when he came home smelling of another woman’s perfume.

Charlie exclaims, “Owen! I’m gonna die if you don’t tell me what’s going on!”

“I know, I know.” He shushes him, again, and Charlie feels like a child, even though he’s older than the blonde boy. Owen turns to the woman in front of him, Miranda, as her name tag reads, and says, “I hope it’s ready.”

She nods, excitedly. “Yes! I have it right here with me.”

She disappears beneath the counter, and Charlie expects her to return with a big box, like a magician’s apprentice. But, instead, she emerges with a small, tiny box and he wonders –

As realization dawns upon him, he feels a rush of euphoria. “Oh my god, are you –”

Owen nods, his face aglow with anticipation, hope and adoration. “I – I walked into this store a couple of weeks ago, after I decided that I wanted to marry her, I mean, I’ve known it for a while, you know? I can’t see myself being with anyone but her for the rest of my life, and I want a family with her. She’s my soulmate, dude. And I – I think it’s the right time, too. She’s got that amazing job, and my career’s going great, so, yeah. I wanna marry her.”

Charlie sniffs, feeling tears at the back of his eyes. “Bro.”

His friend grins. “Bro.”

Charlie pulls him into a hug, but Owen pushes him away, and they swat each other’s hands for a second before Owen whisper shouts, “Do you wanna see the ring or not?!”

Charlie’s eyes widen and he nods. They turn to the woman in front of them, and she points to the box placed on the counter before them. “If you’re ready.”

Owen nods, and Charlie feels amazed at the determination clouding his irises. He opens the box, and the Canadian boy gasps.

Inside sits a simple platinum ring. Except at the middle, there’s a diamond shaped like a star. It’s so beautifully built, every edge looking like they’re fit to cut steel. And the entire ring – it’s so simple, yet beautiful, and Charlie knows why he picked it.

It’s a mirror of the way Owen sees Y/N – something gorgeous, something priceless, something elegant, yet something so simple to him, and something that will always makes sense, no matter what.

Owen inhales, staring at his reflection in the full body length mirror in front of him. He’s going to do it today – he is going to ask his best friend, his soulmate and the love of his life to marry him. He has planned it all – even Charlie went out with the rest of the cast tonight to give the twenty-three-year-olds some privacy. (Charlie, Y/N, and Owen live together in Vancouver, at least while shooting the fourth season of Julie and The Phantoms, so, as one can guess, it’s really difficult to get a moment alone – but since the both of them love Charlie so fucking much, they don’t really mind.)

He straightens his tie and hears soft footsteps in the hallway outside his room. Y/N’s head pokes in, her face lit up like Christmas lights.

“Don’t you look sharp!” She says, while walking up to him and wrapping her arms around his torso. Owen smiles, catching her eyes in the reflection. “Are the bad puns ever going to stop?”

She gasps, dramatically, and exclaims, “You don’t gotta be so mean about it!”

He shakes his head, and feels love swell in his chest for the woman behind him. “I love you so much, you know that, right?”

A mischievous glint appears in her eyes. “I could use a reminder.”

Owen grins, turning backwards and cups her face in his hands, about to kiss her, when a voice stops him.

“I think I just broke the coffee machine!”

Y/N’s eyes widen, and she yells, “You did what?!”

Owen’s brows furrow. “Is that –”

She casts him an apologetic glance. “Zoe, yeah. I forgot to tell you, but Cece had to go out last minute, so I offered to watch her for the evening!”

Usually, Owen loves kids, especially Y/N’s cousins like Zoe, but right now, he feels like jumping off a cliff. She seems to sense that as she runs her hands down his arms, and says, “I’m sorry! I know you said that tonight was gonna be just us, but you love Zoe, don’t you? And it’s gonna be fun, I promise!”

It’s not. Owen had booked a table at Y/N’s favorite restaurant in Vancouver, and he would have proposed midway through the dinner, when the musicians there would start to play ‘Love Story’ by Taylor Swift, and when they got to the bridge, he would have dropped to a knee.

Ignoring the weight in his chest, he plasters a smile on his face. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m sorry, I just – it’s been a while since we’ve been alone, you know? With work and all. But I’m sure it’s gonna be great with Zoe, too!”

She nods. “Thank you. We can go out alone next week when Charlie has that photoshoot with Madi!”

He nods. “Absolutely.”

The little black box stays hidden in the pocket of the beige coat in his closet that he never wears.

As Y/N smiles at him, Owen thinks that this is it. This is the moment he’s gonna ask her to marry him.

As the light from the fire illuminates her face, he thinks about how perfect this weekend has been. After long days, and even longer nights of filming, they finally got a weekend off, and Charlie immediately booked a cabin in North Vancouver.

And there’s no one better at planning trips than Charlie.

Along with Owen, Y/N, and Charlie; Madison, Jadah, Jeremy and his wife, Carolynn, Savannah, Sacha, and Tori are here, too, everyone basking in the peace. Throughout the weekend, they’ve done anything and everything they can do in snow – from skiing, to making snow angels, and finally, as the shades of evening rolled on the last day of their trip, they are tired.

After dinner, everyone wordlessly returned to their rooms, and Owen knows that they’re all fast asleep, right now – except Y/N, who is still as bubbly as champagne.

When they returned to their room, Y/N quickly lit the fire – because no matter if it’s snowing or if it’s fifty degrees outside – she is always freezing.

It’s the opposite in Owen’s case, though – he’s always warm, and that’s why Y/N wasted no time to settle in his lap.

Owen quickly pats his pocket to check if the ring’s still there. It is, and it’s been there for the whole weekend. He’s been searching for opportunities, but they were always either with someone, or it wasn’t a good time.

“O?” She asks, her voice soft.

“Hmm?” He replies, threading his fingers through her hair.

Her eyes brighten up, putting the fire in front of them to shame. “I’ve just had an idea.”

“Later. First, I have something to ask you.” He says, his hand reaching into his pocket again.

She smiles. “I know what you’re gonna ask.”

Owen’s surprised. “You do?”

She nods excitedly. “Yeah. Charlie told me!”

He must have had a horrified look on his face because her eyes widen quickly. “Oh, he didn’t want to, believe me! But, now that I know, tell me, when are you gonna do it?”

Owen stammers, suddenly feeling breathless in this room. The anxiety starts to pool in his stomach, along with an anger, directed towards Charlie. “I – I – I can’t believe he told you this…”

She shrugs. “You know that he can’t hide anything from me. He’s like the brother I never asked for. Anyway, so he was showing me some of the designs, and I love you, but I don’t think you can handle a tooth piercing.”

Owen’s brows furrow. “What?”

“Like, totally no offence, but you passed out when the dentist came to do a routine check up on your teeth. I don’t wanna imagine what would happen if you got them pierced.”

“What are talking about?!”

“Charlie and your matching piercings, dummy! What else would I be talking about?” She looks at him as if he’s grown a third head.

Owen’s lips part. “We are not getting matching piercings – I wasn’t gonna ask you that!”

“Oh!” Her eyes widen. “What were you gonna ask, then?”

He gulps, thinking to himself – this is it. This is it. This is it.

“Do you wanna go home for New Year’s?”

He mentally curses when that question comes out of his mouth, and even with Y/N’s bright smile, he starts to feel queasy inside, knowing that he still isn’t confident enough to actually ask her.

Owen wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans and stands up. “Y/N, I have to tell you something.”

She nods, her eyes sweeping across the mostly empty LA beach. He brought her here today to finally ask her to marry him – his past attempts have been nothing short of disastrous.

As he opens his mouth, he feels a pang in his heart, and his mind starts to race. All kinds of thoughts race through his mind, like – what if she says no? what if she hates him for ruining what they have? What if Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift becomes his most relatable song? What if she –

Y/N stands up, and her hand finds that of Owen’s, a reassurance, and he knows that she can sense his anxiety. She doesn’t ask him to talk about it – she knows that he will, eventually, when he’s ready. For now, she shows him that she’s here for him, and somehow that is enough.

As she brushes his hair, his mind starts to calm down, his erratic breathing slowing down and involuntarily matching the pace of her breathing. She whispers, softly, “You’re okay. You’re safe. Everything is okay. You’re okay. I love you. I love you –”

She keeps repeating that, until it’s like a mantra in Owen’s head, turning the racing thoughts to mere background noise.

He opens his eyes, and looks into hers, and finally feels calm. He exhales. “That… uh....”

She nods, comfort flooding through her eyes. “I know, baby. But it’s okay. You’re safe now.”

He shakes his head, taking his hand in hers. “I – I – I think that maybe you and I should, uh, get – um, matching tattoos. Yeah. That’s what I wanted to ask you.” He lies.

She nods enthusiastically. “Yes! Of course. You don’t even have to ask – we’ve always talked about it, and I think that now is the perfect time! Do you wanna –”

As Y/N talks about designs, he thinks that he’s a fucking coward.

As Owen laughs, he feels confident, for once. He knows that tonight he’ll be able to ask her to marry him, especially in front of all his family – he loves his family, and so does Y/N and vice versa. He remembers the first time he brought her home three months after they’d started dating. He remembers feeling absolutely euphoric about the fact that she fit right in with his family. That was also the day that she had told him, for the first time, that she loves him.

He looks around the table, and watches Y/N talk animatedly to his mother. His parents think of her as their own daughter, especially after finding out about her rocky relationship with her father. Y/N’s mother sits next to Owen, and he loves how carefree she looks – her ex-husband, really, was an asshole.

He takes the little box out of his pocket, and his cousin, Elias, gasps. “Is that an engagement ring?” He whispers, his face scrunching as if the sentence left a bad taste in his mouth.

Owen nods. “Yes. Elias, I would appreciate it if you kept it down.”

His cousin raises his hands. “Always, homie.”

He rolls his eyes. “Right.”

Elias looks around. “Hey, do you think that it’s a good idea to propose now?”

“What do you mean?” Owen’s brows furrow.

“I mean people do it in private for a reason. What if she says no and then you get embarrassed in front of your entire family and hers? It’s sympathetic looks for the rest of your life, bro. And your parents wouldn’t be able to talk to her, nor to her mom, ‘cause it’d be, ya know, friggin’ embarrassing. Everyone’s probably gonna hate you.”

Owen’s eyes widen, and he toys with the truth in his cousin’s words. Elias shrugs, and takes a sip of his water. “But it’s up to you, dude.”

Slowly, Owen slides the ring back into his pocket.

Owen looks around, checking if any distractions could be in this room. None. How could it, though? He’s standing in an empty classroom, in the middle of winter break. Nobody in their right minds would be here.

Well, that would mean that Owen’s not in his right mind. To be really, really, really honest – he is kind of losing it. He has been trying to propose to Y/N for the past month, but every time – every god damn time, something comes up and ruins everything.

So, he decided to break into his middle school. Well, ‘break into’ isn’t the right phrase – he asked the guard to give him the keys for the night, and even thanked him with a hundred dollar note. Unlike his girlfriend, he’s incapable of breaking rules.

The guard thought that it was very romantic of him, but really, he’s just tired and wants to get married already. He taps his foot anxiously, and finally hears the door opening, signalling Y/N’s arrival.

God, she looks absolutely adorable. Her nose is crimson from the cold, and she is bundled under what seems to be ten layers of clothing. She huffs, grinning when she notices him.

“Are we here to make out? Because your house was much more comfortable and so, so warm.”

Owen shakes his head. “Nope.”

“Well, are you gonna murder me, O? Because, well, it’s certainly the perfect location.”

“I have to tell you something.” He says, taking a step toward her. He looks around and sees that there is nothing that could possibly ruin this moment, and smiles brightly, preparing himself. Y/N’s eyes gleam with anticipation, as she nods for him to continue.

“Y/N, I still remember the day that I met you. I remember the way you smiled at me even though I had spilled black coffee all over you and ruined your very pretty, white dress.”

She laughs. “I was really mad at first, yeah. But the cutest boy in all of Oklahoma was in front of me, and well, you know that I was a goner.”

He smiles fondly. “And the beautifulest girl in the world was in front of me.”

“That’s not a word.”

“I know. And then you laughed at my dumb jokes, and even agreed to go on a date with me.”

“To compensate for that absolutely gorgeous dress.” She clarifies, a teasing smile on her face.

He grins sheepishly. “And then somehow, somewhere we fell in love, and somehow, you became my other half, and somehow, I can’t imagine a world without you. I don’t want to. You are my best friend, and you are the one person around whom I can be completely myself and face no judgements.”

“No, I do judge you. You’re a little questionable.”

“And what would I do without your wicked sense of humour?”

“Honestly? You’d be lost without me. I mean, you forget to even put your socks in the washing machine.”

“You’re not supposed to wash them. They go on your feet. Obviously.”

“That is disgusting, and you know it.”

He laughs. “I wanna be with you for the rest of my life, and I… I… I want a family with you, you know? I know that we’ve never talked about this, and I don’t know how you would feel about one, but still, if you’re up for it, I’m too. But, if you don’t, that’s okay, too. More than okay.”

For a moment, an unrecognizable expression crosses her face, and he wonders if he’s hurt her. But then the biggest smile blooms on her face.

“We should have talked about this. But I would like a family with you, too. I mean, I’ve never really wanted one, and you know why. But, after seeing you and your family, I realized that a part of me does want it. I do want to have the home that I never got to have with you and I wanna do better. I know that you’ll be an amazing dad, and I wanna raise my kid the way that kids should be raised. And I want it with no one else but you.”

Owen feels as if he’s on cloud nine, and he stares at her for a moment, wondering how lucky he is to find a girl like her. He says, “Y/N, I –”

Before he can ask her the question, though, her ringtone cuts through the silence of the empty classroom. She whispers an apology and takes her phone out from her jeans pocket.

She accepts the call and speaks into the phone. “Hey, Luka, what’s up? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. Luka, slow down.”

She exchanges a panicked look with Owen.

Speaking of Owen, he’s losing it. Absolutely. He was so close. And for the first time, he had both confidence and hope. And something had to happen. He starts to feel annoyed at Luka, his sister, and then immediately feels bad about it, but then starts to feel annoyed again.

“Oh no, you did what? Do you need me to come?”

At Y/N’s last sentence, Owen bursts out. “Oh, for fuck’s sake!”

Y/N raises her brows at him. He feels anger replacing all his emotions, anger towards the world, it’s timings, and mostly, towards himself.

Sensing his rage, Y/N gives him a weird look. “What is wrong with you?” She whispers.

“Everything. Everything is wrong!” He whispers back.

He starts to feel breathless, and the familiar sensation of a panic attack starts to overcome him. He looks around, trying to focus on something, anything, when he spots the door.

He looks at his girlfriend, and says, “I love you, but I’m gonna lose it.” With that, he walks by her, and out the doors, while she yells after him.

+1.

It’s been twenty minutes since he last talked to Y/N, and he has lost all hope. He’s now sitting on a park bench a couple of minutes away from the school, and he is listing all the reasons why his life is absolutely shit.

“Hey, you okay?”

Owen looks up, and notices Y/N walking up to the bench, with a concerned look in her eyes.

“I – I just… I’ve been trying to ask you something, Y/N, for the past month. And every time I try to do it, I’m either interrupted, or I’m not confident enough. And, today, there were no distractions, and I was finally feeling confident and hopeful and then my sister decides to ruin it – is she okay, by the way?”

She nods and sits down beside him. “Yeah, she misplaced her dress for tonight.”

He grits his teeth in annoyance. He loves her, but his sister has the worst timing.

Y/N rests a hand on his, an odd look taking over her features. “You should know by now that the answer will always, and obviously be a yes.”

Owen sharply turns towards her. “What?”

A brilliant smile makes its way onto her face. “You are gonna propose, aren’t you?”

A gasp involuntarily escapes him. “How’d you know?”

“Well, you just said some pretty nice things about me. Also, I can see the outline of the ring box, and you keep checking your pocket for it every two minutes, even if you don’t realize it. You’re literally doing it right now.”

In his defence, he wasn’t, or rather, isn’t consciously doing it. He slowly retracts his hand from his pocket and gives her a sheepish smile.

She stands up. “Really, O, are you gonna do it or not –”

“Yep, yep, yep.” He clears his throat and stands in front of her and drops to a knee. He takes the ring out, and flips open the box, and as the diamond’s reflected light dances across her face, Y/N gasps.

“Oh my god, that’s gorgeous!”

He grins. “I have great taste.”

She smiles teasingly. “I know, baby.”

“Will you ma–”

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes!”

“You didn’t even let me finish!”

“Someone would’ve probably interrupted you and I couldn’t take the chance of you losing your shit again.”

“You do have a point.”

“I always do.”

He slides the ring onto her finger, and she kneels in front of him to match their heights. She wraps her arms around his neck, and he wraps his around her waist, both desperate to be closer, closer, closer.

“I love you so much.” He whispers into her hair, and she kisses his shoulder.

“I love you. Forever.”

She untangles herself from him, and as she kisses him, Owen realizes that he had no reason to be worried at all.

[MASTERLIST]

reblogs are always appreciated!! <3

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naomifj97 · 3 years ago

Text

It's nice to have a friend

"Amity Blight had forgotten what having a friend was until Luz Noceda arrived at the Isles."

Onsehot, Amity-centric, canon-compliant (except when its’s not) Lumity songfic, featuring “Friends” trope and the tag #GiveAmityABackpack because, really, this girl needs one.

Inspired by It’s nice to have a friend by Taylor Swift.

So, I actually wrote this during the hiatus between s2A and s2B and never got to post it here, but since "King's tide" absolutely DESTROYED me, I figured we all could use a light-hearted fic. For obvious reasons, this is canon compilant until "Knock, knock, knockin' on Hooty's door"; after that is a bit of AU.

Enjoy! (Also, please, excuse typos and grammar mistakes, English is not my first language).

School bell rings, walk me home

Sidewalk chalk covered in snow

Lost my gloves, you give me one

“Wanna hang out?”

Yeah, sounds like fun

The bell’s scream is high-pitched, loud and annoying. It echoes through the corridors and almost every single student in Hexside welcomes it with joy and delight, picking up their things between laughs and wails.

Amity, however, lets out a quiet, veiled sigh against her uniform’s collar.

It’s time to go home, but she doesn’t really want to. She knows her mother is going to pester her about the tiny slump on her school performance, that her father won’t make the slightest attempt at raising his eyes from his work desk while her mother berates her, that she will have to listen and nod grimly, not having the option to defend herself.

Amity is not in a hurry to live that. So, she delays the task of gathering her things on purpose, slowly organizing and piling up her books until they form a perfect pile over her table. She knows it’s an almost compulsive habit, but she can’t help it.

Class is almost empty by the time she leaves the room with her pile of books in her arms. Amity walks down crowded hallways, cramped with noise and students of different classes waiting for their friends to make plans for the afternoon or, simply, to go home in company.

No one is waiting for her. Ed and Em have skipped class, Cat, Skara and Amelia have planned to meet to go to the market together, and Amity would prefer to rip her ears off before having to listen to Boscha talking about grudgby and her self-centered-bully bullshit for the whole way home. To be honest, Amity prefers going alone and in silence. So, when she runs into the back of the aforementioned, just after turning around the corner, the youngest Blight violently stops in her tracks and purposedly avoids her. She even walks backwards comically and very slowly so Boscha doesn’t notice her.

In her crab-like walking, Amity passes by the lockers and stops before her own because she’s kinda just remembered she has to take home vol. 7 of “Abominations’ behavior”. She bounces and struggles to hold onto the pile of books in her arms while getting her arm on her locker’s and taking the damn chunky book before the huge mouth of her cubby rips out her arm, but that turns out to be a very bad idea. And Amity realizes when the until then perfectly, well-ordered pile of books between her arm and her chest fumbles and crumbles, slipping over her uniform and falling to the floor one by one with a huge fuss.

To add humiliation to infortune, her locket decides to spit out a winter glove that, for some reason Amity can’t really recall, was being kept inside. It stays right there, crowning the disaster of books spilled over the floor, like the cherry on top of a destroyed cake, as if making fun of her.

She’s a bit tempted to kick them, but losing her composure is unproper of a Blight. And lately, Amity is being losing it too much. So she just huffs, grunts and groans before kneeling, angrily thinking that she needs a backpack urgently. She’s busy ruminating her disgraces to herself when, out of the blue, someone kneels before her and hands her the unpaired glove.

—Hi, Amity! Looked like you could use…a hand.

Maybe it’s the way she makes a small pause before saying the word “hand”. Or maybe the fact that she’s said it while shaking the glove in front of her nose. Or maybe it’s that stupid face she’s making as she speaks (eyes half-shut, raised eyebrow and lips tense of holding back a laughter), as she has said the wittiest joke in the world.

The point is Amity chuckles.

Luz Noceda has those perks.

—Hi, Luz. Thanks —Amity replies, taking the glove and unceremoniously throwing it into the depths of her locker once again.

Luz takes that laugh as a small personal triumph. It has not gone unnoticed to her that Amity is a bit down, that she’s being down the whole day. And Luz Noceda is not the kind of girl who lets her friends be down. She’s gonna cheer Amity up even if it’s the last thing she does (that day). She’s thinking on a way to do it when the solution passes right in front of her nose. Or, well, her hands, as she’s helping her friend picking up her books.

—Oh, abominations’ behavior! I should get to that, actually… —she runs a hand over the back of her neck, ashamed, with a small chuckle dorkily adorable—. The other day one of mine threw themselves over the stairs and stained them with goo, even if I had ordered them to roll over the hall and not the stairs. Principal Bump was not happy.

Amity reminds the incident well enough. She’s still deciding if the funniest thing had been the expression of absolute happiness of the abomination as they rolled over the stairs, Bump’s frown or Luz’s face of desperation and utter panic as she ran after the mass screaming something similar to “No! Don’t roll like a croqueta!” (whatever that was).

—I remember. I think he was debating between crying or resign directly.

Luz looks at her with a huge smile, a dorky one that makes Amity feel her stomach tinkle. Suddenly, the human’s eyes illuminate as she had just come up with the best plan in the whole universe.

—Amity! You’re the best in abominations’ class. You wanna come to the Owl House a while and study together? Only you can help me to understand…this —she adds, pouting, still holding the textbook.

Amity has only been to the Owl House once, after almost turning Willow’s brain into abomination goo. She knows she should say no, knows she has too much to do, too much schoolwork to catch on.

But she doesn’t want to go home, and Eda’s house has something welcoming in between all that havoc of messiness, and Luz is kind, and funny, and Amity would have never guessed it, but she enjoys the human’s company.

So, she accepts.

And Luz smiles, more than just happy, grabs half of the pile of Amity’s books and starts walking beside her (“Jeez, girl! Has anyone ever told you you need a backpack?”). They fill the silence with theories about the forthcoming sixth Azura book: Luz is certain Hecate will end up changing sides after a long redemption path; Amity is not so sure about that.

Luz takes the disagreement almost as a personal affront and spends more than half the way to Eda’s exposing her case. Amity finds enthralling the passion she speaks and moves with, how she defends her theories and the certainty that always seems to emanate from her every single cell, from every word, from every gesture.

Not taking her eyes off the human, the youngest Blight smiles.

And, as they walk, Amity thinks it’s nice to have a friend.

Video games, you pass me a note

Sleeping in tents

It’s nice to have a friend

(Ooh)

Amity has never given dating too much thought. It just wasn’t something that lingered in her plans for a future.

But then Luz arrived to Bonesborough, and Amity tried to get her dissected by principal Bump, and then that human who absurdly tried to pass as an abomination like that was going to fool anyone anyway, turned out to be funny, chaotic and unpredictable in the most charming way.

And so everything became extremely confusing.

Amity doesn’t get along with chaos. She likes things neatly in order and well-placed, situations she can handle, and things going according to plan.

She already has a plan. Had one.

And Luz was not in it.

But, suddenly, as days pass, Amity finds herself getting closer to the human; suddenly, her plans start mattering less and less every time; suddenly, wearing a “top-student” star on her lapel is not what makes her get up on the morning.

And, suddenly, Grom it’s just a few days away and the note burns inside her pocket as if it was on fire.

She doesn’t dare. She can’t give it to her.

Because it’s nice to have a friend, it’s too nice, and Amity does not want to, nor can, risk to lose her.

So, she keeps the note on her pocket and tries to ignore its presence against her hip with all she has.

An hour later, it doesn’t matter anymore.

Because now Amity is Grom Queen and her worst fear is going to be widely cut open for all the school to see.

For Luz to see.

It’s being nice to have a friend.

It’s nice to have a friend

(Ooh)

The next night arrives. And her fears no longer matter, because Luz has jumped straight to occupy her place, because Luz is in danger, and Amity does not even think twice before going after Grom and step in, between the monster and the human that has slowly won her heart.

Her worst fear comes to light, as the most terrible pollution daunting the night’s air.

Amity can’t move. She’s sure she’s been turned to stone. The sound of torn paper rumbles in her ears louder than it should be, because, after all, it’s just a damn sheet of paper. But to her is thunder, one she’s sure she won’t ever forget. Her chest hurts, breathing hurts. Her eyes feel itchy when she kneels and picks up one of the fragments, the smaller one, in which she can backlight read Luz’s name.

Oh, Luz. Luz, who kneels and picks the opposite end of the paper, who reads quickly and suddenly understands everything…or almost everything. Luz, who reaches towards her, Luz, who says it’s okay. Luz, who tells her that, if she wants to, will go with her to the dance.

Amity’s heart jumps on her chest.

—Really?

Titan, Luz Noceda’s smile is almost a wonder of the Isles.

—That’s what friends do.

Amity smiles back, ignoring the tiny pinch of pain in her chest at the word “friends”, because that’s what they are.

Friends. They are friends.

The witch then banishes the feeling of rejection in favor of a warmer one that initiates in her chest and spreads through her whole body, cooed in the calm Luz’s eyes ignite.

Be brave, Amity Blight.

It’s a night to be.

—Well, if that’s settled… May I have this dance?

With a mischievous smile, Luz takes her hand and Amity suddenly feels she could kick the mighty Titan’s ass.

They defeat Grom together, hands tied and a perfectly improvised dance, and they dance a few more times, and Luz drags her to get a picture together because “We haven’t beaten a legendary monster for you not to take a photo with me tonight, Amity!”.

And Amity laughs, and enjoys the night more than anything, and stares at Luz like she’s all that matters in all realms.

Because they are friends, but how she would love to be more.

It’s nice to have a friend

Oh…

Luz Noceda is out of her mind.

Amity has suspected it for a while now, after seeing her facing Boscha, the very same Emperor and her terrifying mother. But when the human, that sweet, stubborn, beautiful, frustrating, amazing human shows up at her house, clothes ragged, smelling like smoke and with her library staff card in her hands, Amity is surer than ever that Luz Noceda is bloody nuts.

Nuts, nuts, damn it, absolutely nuts (and what’s that about taming a paper dragon?).

And Amity is head over heels for her.

So much she does not even think about what she’s doing, what she’s about to do. Wind ruffles Luz’s hair, brings Amity the scent of her hair and a slight hint of scorch, and then the witch ceases having direct line with her brain. The feeling of brunt plastic on her fingers reminds her Luz is there for her. And what she’s done for her.

The kiss on the cheek is quick. Just a tiny caress between her lips and Luz’s skin, which is as soft as Amity had imagined.

The kiss is quick and, at the moment, not confusing at all.

Confusing comes later, when Luz stares wide-eyed at her after letting out a surprised breathing in, reddened cheeks and parted lips. Her pupils dilate (that’s okay on humans, right?), her eyes glisten…and then her gaze lingers on Amity’s lips, on those very same lips in the witch still can feel the warmth and the tingle of the young human’s skin.

But she does not react.

Oh, no.

OH, NO.

Amity is not quite sure of what she says then, because all the blood in her body suddenly congregates on her face. Her tongue gets tangled on the “Why did I do that?” during minutes, while she hastily enters her house and collapses on the hall, and nothing, not even Ed’s chuckles or Em’s words of encouragement, manage to get her move away, face against arms and back towards the door.

She knows there is no turning back because friends don’t kiss on the cheek, do they?

No, they don’t.

A few days later, Hooty kidnaps Amity and locks her on some kind of basement no one on the Owl House had noticed before. Then, the youngest Blight stars in the most picturesque love confession the Boiling Isles has ever seen, because, opposite to what her panic attack had suggested her that night on her house’s porch, Luz does reciprocate her feelings.

Until that moment, Amity didn’t know one could burst of happiness. Now, she’s not so sure about that. Luz and her hold hands and Amity is sure she’s gonna explode, certain she can’t get her face to be redder, convinced that she’s happier than she’s ever been in her whole life. She knows her palms are sweating and her heart is beating hard against her ribs. It’s new, and terrifying, and wonderful.

They spent hours together, sitting on the floor of the Owl House, taking notes on the revelations they get from the echo mouse. Well, Luz takes notes. Amity just stares at her with tender eyes and a smile on her lips, memorizing how Luz sticks out her tongue while she focuses on writing every word, how the brown locks fall over her forehead, how her eyes gleam with that curiosity of hers.

Amity Blight is very, very much in love with her best friend.

No.

Not friend.

Girlfriend.

They are girlfriends now.

Light pink sky up on the roof

Sun sinks down, no curfew

Twenty questions, we tell the truth

You’ve been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too

Something gave you the nerve

To touch my hand

It’s nice to have a friend

They’ve been together for three months when all hell breaks loose.

Belos tries to kill everyone, they face him and the emperor loses on the Day of Unity.

Afterwards, calm arrives. Or almost.

They have made the greatest party ever seen on the Owl House. They have celebrated all they have achieved and more, and now everyone is dragged. Eda is soundly snoring on the couch while Rain snoozes at her side; King has curled up in an adorable ball in Luz’s room and Hooty is pestering Lilith to catch on while Hunter pretends to be bored when he’s, actually, exhausted. Willow and Gus leave with Ed and Em a few hours away from dawn.

Amity stays, because she’s not just going to return home after everything that has happened.

Eda doesn’t seem to mind taking her in; she’s done it already for weeks, and the Owl Lady has barely batted an eye while the purple-haired witch gradually slipped into the house’s daily routines. Even King seems to enjoy having her there. So, Amity is staying. Besides, she wants to relish every single moment with Luz before she has to return to the Human Realm.

It’s just for a while, and the portal works, so they are gonna see each other often, and they have their thingies to text, and Luz will probably spend more hours there than in her mother’s house, but, despite all that, Amity can feel the panic gulping on her stomach and rushing up her throat, making breathing hard.

The night is calm, the air is gentle there, at the Owl House’s roof; Amity hides in the silence and the darkness that surrounds them, in the small bubble Luz has created with her glyphs, dozens of tingling spheres dancing around them isolating them from the rest of the world. The witch nuzzles against her girlfriend’s side, warm and welcoming, buries the nose on the skin of her neck and breathes in deeply. Luz smells like a mix of sugar, paper, ink and something that is inherently hers, and Amity feels at home. Her heart soothes lightly, her angst apparently retreating; Amity is thankful, because she does not want to spend what’s left of the night anticipating something she knows will make her sad.

But Luz notices, because Luz always notices. She tugs at the blanket surrounding them both, as butterflies on their cocoons, and hugs her tightly. Suddenly, her lips are on the young witch’s hair, her hands on the purple-haired girl waist and there’s a telling blush on her cheeks. She tells her not to worry, that she will be back in no time, that it will only be for a while and that Amity is “gonna have to try harder to get rid of her”, making the witch chuckling sarcastically because how in the name of hell is she going to want to get rid of Luz? And, almost as if she can read her mind, Luz gives her a breathtaking wink and nuzzles the tip of her nose with the witch’s one, before getting lost in Amity’s eyes.

Words arrive without anticipation.

—I love you, Amity Blight.

Amity blushes to the hairline. She is paralyzed; blinks once, twice, opens her mouth, not knowing what to say, or do, or how to react, because, Titan, Luz Noceda has just told her she loves her.

Luz blushes, too, but her nervousness is never silent. So, the human lets out a small chuckle, half jokes about having broken her girlfriend, but, before she can enter on the spiral of fussy rambling, Amity raises a hand (a frozen one, by the way, because of them both she’s the cold-sensitive one) to her cheek and replies with unexpected calmness and domain of herself:

—I love you too, Luz.

And Luz beams, shining brighter than her glyphs, the stars and the dawn that peeks timidly over the horizon. She smiles and hugs her tighter, and Amity feels loved, worshipped, happy. And brave.

Her frozen fingers reach the human girl’s mouth; in her eyes there is a question that Luz answers with a tiny nod and a kiss to her tips.

When their lips meet, Amity thinks she will wait all the time she has to.

And Luz promises the wait will be short-lived.

Call my bluff, call you “babe”

Have my back, yeah, everyday

Feels like home

Stay in bed the whole weekend

It’s nice to have a friend

Luz snores.

Amity would have never supposed it, neither would have thought about it before knowing, but after months, years, hours and some moments of insomnia, she knows Luz Noceda snores. It’s a hoarse, constant, tiny noise, made with the base of the throat and accompanied by a soft “mmmm” when breathing out. Something kinda like a purr, and, to her surprise, Amity finds it weirdly adorable.

The witch remembers cheerfully the first night they spent together, after Luz permanently moved in the Isles when she turned eighteen: Amity spent more than half the night awake, fearing falling sleep in case her human would be nowhere to be found when she woke up and everything turned out to be a dream. Eventually, she did fall asleep, of course, out of pure exhaustion, but was woken up by Luz’s snores by dawn.

Maybe that’s why Amity is quite fond of her human’s snores. They convinced her that was real, that they had a life together ahead of them, that she was there and was never leaving again.

A new little noise coming from Luz, mouth half-open in deep slumber, takes Amity back to the present, to those first hours of the day and the few rays of sun that sneak lazily through the colored window. They are still occupying Eda and Raine’s attic, but they are already thinking about moving to a small house just for the two of them. Amity does not want a mansion, not even for all the snails in the universe.

It’s still early, very early. It has barely begun to break dawn, but old habits die hard, so Amity is awake. It doesn’t matter. She can stay like this, watching how Luz sleeps soundly at her side, feeling the heat emanating from her girlfriend’s body as if she had casted some kind of fire spell, feeling how she purrs every time she breathes.

The sun is starting to caress Luz’s dark skin, her shoulders and cheeks, those brown locks that fall carelessly over her forehead. Amity brushes them off with a lovingly touch that’s barely more than a brush, and Luz, as if she can feel her from the oneiric world, mumbles in satisfaction, melting the witch on a puddle right there on the mattress. Unable to help herself, Amity cuddles against the human and places a small kiss on her clavicle, exposed due to the oversized pajama t-shirt. Without waking up, Luz encloses her in her arms and takes her in, making a new little noise that tears a small chuckle out of Amity’s lips, places her chin on top of the witch’s head and keeps sleeping without the slightest worry.

And Amity is happy. Incredibly happy.

On that very same moment, on a dusty attic, sharing a very tiny bed with her girlfriend and during the most peaceful moment in her life, Amity Blight makes a choice.

She’s gonna marry her girlfriend someday.

It’s nice to have a friend

A/N: Not my best work, I'm aware of that, but I hope you liked it. I just love this series, and I love this two. THEY ARE GIRLFRIENDS, WORLD.

#lumity #luz x amity #amity blight #luz noceda #toh #toh fanfic #toh fanfiction #toh fic #toh spoilers #the owl house #GiveAmityABackpackPls

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delacyrose224 · 4 years ago

Text

The Moment I Knew

-Pairing: Yoongi x reader, Hobi x reader

-Premise: It's your birthday, but what happens when the most important person doesn't even show up?

-Genre: angst, fluff if you squint

-Word Count: 1.3k

-Warnings/tags: SFW, angsty goodness with a ray of hope at the end

-Author's Note: Based off the song 'The Moment I Knew' by Taylor Swift. When she announced the rerecording of Red, I had to.

You lean closer to the mirror, checking your red lipstick. Just as you decide you are satisfied with the way you look, you hear the doorbell ring. You smile to yourself, adjust your sparkly dress, and quickly cross your apartment to open the door.

“Happy Birthday!!” Hobi grins ecstatically as you open the door. “You look beautiful,” he murmurs as he leans in to kiss your cheek, careful to not mess up your hair or makeup.

“Thanks Hobi,” you answer with a grin wide enough to match his.

“Move, cake coming through!” Jin yells from down the hallway. You can see your other friends traipsing behind him in their party garb.

You laugh as you step aside to let them in behind Hobi. As the last person walks through, you peer around looking for the person you’re hoping most to see, only to be met with an empty hallway. You’re a little disappointed, but maybe he got caught up at work and would be there later.

Not only did your friends bring cake, they also brought booze and video games. It’s not long before you’re caught up on the couch playing Jimin and Taehyung in an intense game of Mario Kart.

“Yah, you’re cheating!!” Jimin yells a little too loudly at you, the buzz of the alcohol taking its effect.

“You’re just a sore loser,” you respond with a laugh, while Taehyung sticks his tongue out at him from beside you.

“Wanna play another round?” Taehyung asks, but you shake your head and hand him your controller as you get up.

Wasn’t he here yet? You wobble a little in your heels as you head to the kitchen for another drink, scanning the room in case he’d walked in without you noticing. He’s nowhere to be found. You pull out your phone to check for any missed calls or texts...nothing. Your eyes start to prick with tears, but you quickly blink them away.

“...are you okay?” You turn to see your friend Namjoon looking worriedly over at you.

“Hmm?” You respond, confused.

“I asked you how you’ve been lately?” He gently lays a hand on your arm.

“Oh, um...fine. I’m fine. You?” Namjoon raises an eyebrow at you, clearly not believing you. He chooses not to push the issue.

“I’ve been okay. I’m glad I could make it to celebrate you tonight. Happy birthday, Y/N.”

You smile halfheartedly at your friend, but even as you do so, you can feel your chest constricting. He was supposed to be here. He said he’d be here...so why is he not?

You excuse yourself and head down the hallway to the bathroom. Hobi notices as you leave, your strides too quick and too purposeful to just be a trip to the bathroom.

You lock yourself in the bathroom and brace yourself against the sink. As you look up, you can tell you look off to everyone else at the party. Your eyes are slightly red from holding back tears, and you just look...disappointed. You let out a slow breath.

Okay...get yourself together. This is your party, your friends came to see you. You’ve got this. Just because he didn’t show up, doesn’t mean…

There’s suddenly a knock at the door.

“...can you let me in? I know you’re not okay.” You can hear Hobi’s soft voice through the door. Shit. Why is he always so good at figuring out when you’re not okay? You reach over and unlock the door, and he takes that as his cue to come in.

“What’s wrong?” Hobi asks, leaning against the countertop looking at you. You slide your gaze over to him.

“He said he’d be here,” you whisper helplessly, barely able to hold eye contact.

“...oh.” Hobi breathes out. He moves forward, gently wrapping you in his arms as he gives you a hug, trying to make you feel how sorry he is through the gesture.

You pull away with a halfhearted smile. “I should get back out there, right? I’m sure everyone is wondering where I’ve gone.”

Hobi smiles back at you, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He opens the door for the two of you to head back into the hallway. You can hear laughter echoing from the living room. As you enter, Jin stands up excitedly.

“The birthday girl is back-cake time! I made it myself!” He goes to the kitchen to get the cake off the counter.

“Hey, where’s Yoongi hyung? He’s missed all the fun!” Jungkook innocently leans over to ask you. You plaster a tightlipped smile on your face as you answer.

“He said he’d be here, but he must have gotten caught up at work.” Jungkook shrugs at your statement and goes back to his conversation with Namjoon.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…” You hear Jin’s tenor before you see him reenter the living room, candlelight bouncing off his face as he brings the cake in and sets it before you on the coffee table.

As the rest of your friends join in, you can’t help the tears that escape over your waterline and make their way down your face. The boys immediately express concern, but you brush it off as happy tears...happy that they’re here, happy they’re all celebrating with you.

They all seem satisfied with your answer. All except Hobi. He doesn’t say anything but instead, after everyone is done eating their cake, takes it upon himself to wrap up the party for you, assuring them that you have an early morning the next day and need your rest. You smile gratefully at him as he shoos the last straggler, Jimin, out through the front door.

“Go get ready for bed, I’ll clean up in here.” He motions at the empty beer bottles and cake plates that litter your living room and kitchen.

“Thanks, Hobi. I owe you one.”

He shoos you toward your bedroom in response. You take your heels off and pad towards your room. You take a quick shower and change into pjs, wanting to thank Hobi again before you part ways and go to sleep.

As you head down the hallway, you peek into the kitchen and the living room. Nothing. Everything is spotless, so he must have just left when he was done cleaning. You’ll thank him properly the next time you see him.

You lock the front door and head back to your bedroom, climbing into bed and turning off the light. Try as you might, you can’t get to sleep. You keep staring at the ceiling, replaying the night in your mind. Yoongi not showing. Hobi comforting you in the bathroom. Jungkook asking where Yoongi even was. Crying over birthday cake. You sigh and pick up your phone to see what time it is.

1:26 AM.

As you stare at your phone, it lights up with an incoming call.

Yoongi.

“...hello?” You say cautiously, wondering why he’s bothering to call.

“Hey. I’m sorry I didn’t make it.” His voice sounds almost nonchalant, the words coming out as if he’s asking how the weather is.

Your heart sinks through your body, landing in your stomach as you realize what you’ve known all night. This isn’t right. It isn’t going to work. You know what you have to do.

“I’m sorry, too.”

And before he has a chance to respond, you end the call. You make sure your phone is on silent before turning it over on your nightstand and flipping to your other side to try and fall asleep.

It takes about an hour, but after tossing, turning, and a few tears, you’re able to finally drift off.

When you wake up in the morning, amongst numerous missed calls and texts from Yoongi, there’s a singular text that makes you smile.

Hobi

3:43AM: Happy birthday again-I’m sorry he didn’t show. I’m right here whenever you need me…I just need you to know that.

--------------------------------------------

Taglist: @derinxfam @alpacaparkaseok @hyungieyoongi

If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know! Feedback and song requests also accepted. :)

#bts fics #bts angst #yoongi one shot #bts one shot #bts x taylor swift #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x reader #suga angst #suga x y/n #suga x reader #yoongi fic #hobi fic #yoongi angst #hobi x reader #hobi x y/n #hobi fluff #bts fluff #hobi x you

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parkerflix · 4 years ago

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skz as songs on my sad playlist

i’m in a mood and idk i just wanna tag them as my favorite sad songs + small blurbs

cw: mentions of: toxic relationships, heartbreak, ANGST, implications of sex and minimal drug use (like the mention of a drug), cheating, unrequited love, pining

playlist can be found here

•••••

bang chan;

jealous by labrinth

-just imagining chan watching you while having your best friend movie night (that is required!!!) and you end up texting your new boyfriend , and his heart breaks a little when he sees you stop paying attention to the movie but thinks nothing much of it. then you become more distant and you end up getting into an argument about your friendship being torn to pieces, and that’s when he finally says that he’s in love with you. and that’s when the light and fire goes out in you because you know you don’t reciprocate the feelings. you both say you need time apart, for him to move on and for you to figure things out, but you never come back together as friends. he sees you with you boyfriend, and his heart aching as you don’t notice him. but he knows at the end of the day, your happiness is most important to him.

minho;

strawberries and cigarettes by troye sivan

- your relationship with minho was always one that was a bit rocky, both of you lived a fast paced life. you seemed to be a “bad influence” on him according to his friends, but they knew you two were so in love. so what happened? he started to slow down, and started to really consider settling down with you and creating a home rather than a tent. you wanted to keep going, still having that wanderlust and curiosity that minho loved so much. but when it came down to it, he realized that you would never be the type to want to settle down. so he let you go, his heart aching, and the last kiss you shared tasting of strawberries and cigarettes, something that would always linger in minho’s mind whenever he reminisced about your relationship.

changbin;

break my heart again by finneas

-changbin and you were the most on and off relationship any of the boys had seen. the hot and cold of your relationship kept everyone on their toes, and kept you both constantly on edge. this time was no exception. the muddled happy and sad memories bled into each other to the point where you didn’t know which was which. changbin had called things off again this time. you both ended up giving up for a bit, before being attracted to each other and starting the cycle over. you were like magnets, pulled towards each other. everyone could see that this cycle would start again, with your relationship being great, and slowly turning into the fights, sleepless nights on the couch, camping out in a friend’s house, and breaking up. but you were okay with it. you would allow changbin to break your heart over and over again if it meant he would end up coming back.

hyunjin;

white horse by taylor swift

-you hadn’t expected to see hyunjin on your front door. his eyes seemed to be duller than you had ever seen them, and your heart clenched at the thought of him being near you. when you met him, it felt like a fairy tale and a dream come true. you had longed for a romance novel love, and you finally got it with him. but soon after the happily ever after and the credits ended, you started to pick up on some new behaviors and moods he was in. he seemed more distant, and would put on this facade that he seemed to believe fooled you. it wasn’t until you saw him with the other person that everything clicked. you confronted him then and there, and it felt as if your world was crumbling. you both broke up, and you wallowed for weeks before you finally decided that he wasn’t worth it and the fairytale love you desperately wanted was just a dream. so finding him here on your front door, tears starting to flow freely from his eyes as he pleads and begs you to give him another chance, because he’s finally realized that you were the one he wanted the most in the world, made you feel somewhat nostalgic and sad. you helped him wipe his tears away, but told him that it was too late. and with that you wished him well and closed the door, and hyunjin thought you could probably hear his heart breaking like yours had.

jisung;

lookalike by conan gray

- jisung thought it was a bit comical. your new boyfriend looked just like him. his mannerisms were similar and even your friends pointed it out when you started dating. jisung laughed seeing you and your boyfriend walking past him at the park, thinking about how you must still be hung up on him. after all he did end things with you because things just weren’t working out between you two. he knew that everytime you looked at your boyfriend you saw him, and that your boyfriend was just a replacement for jisung. or maybe that’s what he wanted to believe. he wanted to believe that you were dating this new guy that looked like him because you were still hung up on him, that you would realize it one day and go back to jisung. he wanted to believe that you thought about him as much as he thought about you. but as he saw you and your boyfriend- no- fiancé,walking hand in hand, he thought maybe he was the one that needed to find someone like you.

felix;

amnesia + ghost of you by five seconds of summer

- felix was numb. he didn’t know how to process that you were in a new relationship. your smiling face on his lockscreen along with you poking his cheek, made his stomach churn when he looked at it. you hadn’t moved away too long ago, so how was it that you were able to move on so quickly? felix was a little jealous of how easily you could move on. everyday for him was like a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from. your ghost lingered everywhere he went, and in everything he saw. your figure seemed to haunt him in the most random places, he once had sworn he had seen you dancing in the ice cream aisle at the grocery store (you in fact, were not there but at the beach with your new friends). his friends could tell he was having a hard time moving on, his eyes glued to your instagram post of you and your partner, wearing matching pajamas and the biggest grins on your face. you moving away all the way to another country had allowed you to escape the ghost of felix, but it seemed he couldn’t escape yours. maybe it was time for him to move as well. to try to escape your ghost and ignore the hole in his heart left by your departure.

seungmin;

slow dancing in the dark by joji

-seungmin knew you were better off with the other person trying to win your affection. he knew that you two weren’t compatible, and that no matter how he felt about you, it wasn’t the best for you. so he did what he could do. he pushed you away as much as he could, trying to push you into the arms of another. it hurt his heart everytime you would coming up to him, trying to figure out what caused his sudden change in behavior around you. he thought he had succeeded in pushing you away enough, until you had cornered him one day trying to talk to him, which resulted in you both arguing and him telling you that he wasn’t good enough for you. you told him that he didn’t get to decide that for you, and you were going to keep fighting for your friendship (and your much wanted relationship with him). but he finally said the words that broke you. he didn’t want you. and with that, the light in your eyes gave out, and you walked away from him, tears flowing freely down your face. as soon as you were far enough, he broke down in tears knowing that this was the best for you. he couldn’t compete with the other. and weeks later when he saw you with the former, he knew that the ache in his heart was gonna be okay.

Jeongin;

drew barrymore by sza

- seeing jeongin walk in with her made you bring the drink that your best friend had poured you up to your mouth. you were embarrassed that even after all this time, when push came to shove, jeongin always picked someone else over you. you both had messed around with each other and had clearly blurred the line between friend and something more. although it seemed to be one sided. you knew that soon, you would have to cut things off with jeongin, but you didn’t want to admit that you had feelings for the boy. but soon came, and when he pulled you into an empty room, and started kissing you, you knew that it was time. you knew that the sweet nothings he had whispered in your ear everytime you met were just that- sweet nothings. but yet you fell for them and now we’re paying the price. you pulled him off of you, and explained that you couldn’t do whatever you had going on anymore. he seemed concerned for a second, which made you think that he in fact did care, until he shrugged and moved towards the door. he wished you well, not bothering to look back at you. as the door closed, you felt your heart break, along with your brain telling you that your thoughts were correct the entire time.

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finnyboywolfhard · 4 years ago

Text

‘Tis the Damn Season

Steve Harrington x Reader

summary: based roughly on ‘tis the damn season by Taylor Swift. Reader comes home for the holidays after two years of being away.

warnings: cursing, angst, fluff

a/n: literally less than a minute into me hearing the song for the first time, I knew I needed to write this so pls enjoy ❤️

word count: 2.2k

Y/N loved going to school away from Hawkins. Getting to experience a life away from the small town that sucked the life from her and drained her happiness after a while. It had been almost two years since she had made the journey from her state school in California back to Indiana. It wasn’t like she didn’t miss her family, but it was just easier, and in all honesty better for her to stay there all year round. There was inevitably downfalls to that, having to work a full time job and also go to school, most holidays were spent alone and she had no idea what was happening in the lives of her old friends or her family for that matter. They would come visit every so often and there was frequent phone calls but it was never enough.

“Knock, knock!” Y/N said as she opened the door, her mom flying from the kitchen to wrap her daughter in her arms.

“Oh how I’ve missed squeezing you!” Her mom said through a squished face. The girl started laughing at her mother’s reaction. The two exchanged small talk while they waltzed from the front door back to the kitchen.

“So what’s new in the world of Hawkins?” Y/N said pouring herself a cup of coffee and sitting at her kitchen table, glancing to her mom every few movements.

“Same old, same old, not much happens and not much changes. Mrs. Click retired last year, I know how much you loved her class.” The girls mind was flooded with memories of him. Steve Harrington, her first and maybe only love. She thought of all the times he would arrive to class late and then sloppily eat his bagel while Mrs.Click was trying her best to pull nearly every girls attention away from him. Maybe that’s why Y/N attracted him, she never stared the same way every girl did.

“Maybe I’ll send her a letter or call her to see if she’d want to chat sometime. Anything else? Any new couples?:

“That Robin Buckley came home last Christmas with a girlfriend.”

“Wait she finally came out to her parents?”

“You knew?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ve known since the whole mall fiasco.” Her mother stayed silent as she continued to move with ease around the ever so familiar kitchen.

“Do you want to settle back in or would you want to come to the store with me?”

“I can go with you, let me go change into something else, I’ve been in these clothes since I left LA.’’ The girl ran up to her old bedroom, grabbing the suitcases from the bottom of the steps were she had left them. As she entered the room, she was hit with a wave of memories. Pictures of Y/N and Steve covered her walls, she let out a sigh.

I won't ask you to wait if you don’t ask me to stay.

“Y/N, stop, you’re being over dramatic.”

“Steve! No I’m not! I got into my dream school, where I’ve wanted to go for practically my entire life. You’re not supporting me!”

“It’s not that i don’t support you, I don’t want you to leave!”

“We can do the distance! We can call and i will come back for breaks, we can write letters! We can make it work, I don’t want to chose between you or my dream.”

“Well I want you to.”

“Steve…”

“Y/N chose.”

“Then leave Steve.”

Sure, Y/N could pretend that the reason she didn’t come home was because she would see Steve and become overwhelmed by everything that happened between them. Sure she could pretend that she doesn’t still think of him every single day. Sure she could pretend that if Steve asked she would do anything for him. But she wouldn’t let herself. She did what was going to be best for her future. He didn’t matter if he didn’t support that. Her mind snapped back to what she was supposed to be doing.

“Shit.” She mumbled to herself as she realized how long she must have been zoned out for. She got dressed and ran downstairs. Her mom was standing at the door, placing items into her purse.

“You ready?” She glanced at her daughter who was pantin from how quickly she tried to get down the stairs.

“Yup!” The two piled into the car and began driving through town. Y/N shivered, no longer being acquainted with the colder weather that seemed permanent in Hawkins.

It’s the kind of cold, fogs up windshield glass, But I felt it when i passed you, There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me

Y/N attention was brought back to reality as they drove past the Family Video and he was outside getting into his car. The two made eye contact as the car moved past, the eye contact remaining unbroken until they physically could not see each other anymore. She felt a tension in her chest, he looked so good, but he also looked hurt. He didn’t have that same spark that drew her to him in the first place. And it shattered her to know that it was her fault.

“Taking in the sights?“

“Mom!” Y/N yelled out of embarrassment

“Oh please,. Rumor has it he hasn’t gone out with anyone since you left. He’s apparently turned down every girl that’s asked him out.”

“I mean, i haven't dated anyone since I've left either. I’ve gone on dates but nothing but flings.’

“Maybe you should reach out.’

“Yeah, sure.” She rolled her eyes and her mom changed the conversation to something about her dad. For the rest of the night, she just spent as much time as she could attached to every member of her family’s hip. These moments were making her regret not coming back sooner a little more.

Now I’m missing your smile, hear me out

She found her way back to her bedroom and found a photo of her and Steve that one of the kids took.

“Steve!” The girl giggled out as the boy pulled her tightly to his body, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her cheek. Through her fit of giggles, his smile still shone brighter than her own. To Y/N, anything he did was brighter than hers and she was more than alright with that. Everything he did was perfect, he was the dream boyfriend. She loved each and every inch of him, no matter how often he annoyed her or how often he would say something that made little to no sense, it didn’t matter. If it was Steve, it was perfect.

“What? You don’t want my kisses?” He faked a pout. She rolled her eyes and turned her face to look at him and touch her lips to his own. His eyes gleefully filled up with joy and he overdramatically said “you want my kisses!’

‘I’ll always want your kisses.” She said smiling, and he smiled back making pristine eye contact, only a flash tore their attention away from one another.

She pulled her eyes away from the photo in her hand, setting it down where she had just picked it up. She put her pajamas on and got comfy in her old bed.

When she woke up the next morning, for some reason something was calling her to just go for a drive.

I parkеd my car right between the Methodist And thе school that used to be ours

She drove around the town observing all of the vaguely familiar settings, remembering each moment she had connected to the setting. As she parked her car a little down from the high school, she focused on her breathing for the first time in a while. She got out of her drivers seat and out of the car, grabbed a book from her backseat and went to sit on the lawn sprawled beside her. As she walked down the hill, she noticed a figure. As she approached, the figure became clearer and clearer. Steve.

“Hey.” She called out to him, his head snapped up to look at her standing over him.

“Hey Y/N, long time no see.”

“Two years.” She said, she waved her hand a bit to ask if she could sit next to him and he nodded his head yes before he continued.

“How have you been?’

“Good! Busy as hell, but good. What about you Stevie?” The nickname slipped out without much thought at all.

“I’ve been doing my best. I am now manager at Family Video, Keith left.”

“Damn, for real?’ He nodded his head yes and she shook hers in disbelief. “I heard about Rob’s girlfriend. Well, I heard that she had one.’

“Oh! Yeah! Her name is Marie and she’s really nice. They’re a good match, she’s just as smart as Robin, I can barely keep up with them.”

“Who could realistically ever keep up with Robin, let alone Robin and someone just like her.” The two let out dry laughs, which helped to relax some of the weird tension between the two.

“How long are you here?”

“Just for the holidays, I’m only staying with my parents until the second week of January.”

“Ahh.” The tone of his voice switched to one much sadder. The air hung still, neither of their voices filling the space anymore. She spoke before she could think.

“Would you wanna drive around later? Look at lights? For old times sake?” She looked at him with pleading, hopeful eyes. He looked back at her, searching her face to make sure it wasn’t a joke.

“Uhh, yeah. I mean...I’m meeting Robin and Marie at like 9 to hang out for a little bit, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you tagged along.”

“I don’t want to intrude.’

“You’re not intruding if I’m inviting you Y/N/N.” For a moment, it felt like the past. It was as if they teleported back to when things weren’t like they were now. But what’s stopping them from letting things be like the past while she’s home? The only heart that would be breaking even more would be hers.

We could call it even, you could call me babe for the weekend, ‘tis the damn season

He rang the doorbell a little after eight, and she rushed to her door before any of her family. She yelled out a goodbye and they walked out the door and over to his car.

‘So, school? How is that?”

“It’s hell, but what else was to be expected.”

“And you’re still a film major? Nothing has changed?”

“Yes sir, still a film major.’

“You’d be impressed, I am starting to actually remember the names of movies!’

“That’s a big step for you, consider me proud.”

“Thanks babe.” It slipped out of his mouth without a thought. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that it just kinda came out.” She let her hand reach out and rest on his thigh.

“It’s okay, we call each other babe for the time being, no big deal.”

‘Tis the damn season.” Steve let out in a huffed breath. The two kept chatting and the car got more and more comfortable, they fell into their old rhythm. It felt like the road she chose to go down, didn’t ruin everything. He pulled up to the diner they were meeting Robin and her girlfriend at and sat patiently in Steve’s car. Their heads were leaning back against the head rests and they were looking into each other’s eyes. He reaches over and grazes her face. She pulls in a breath as he shows her the eyelash now sitting atop his finger.

‘Make your wish.” He said gently, she closed her eyes to think for a second and blew the eyelash from his finger softly. She looked back up into his eyes and smiled. The neon lights shone down from the sign through his windshield and grazed his face, framing it and shaping it with a red hue. He looked angelic.

‘What’re you thinking about?” Steve asked quietly, not entirely sure why he was being so quiet.

“Nothing.” She said, trying to push past the feelings building inside her. She fakes a smile.

“Don’t do that, you know I can tell when you’re lying. What’re you thinking about?”

“I’m thinking about how beautiful you look and how much i want to kiss you, but I know I shouldn’t.”

“Maybe that’s the reason why you should.” He reaches his hand over to cup her cheek, rubbing his thumb against her cheek as her leans closer. Their lips meet in the middle, colliding with a gentle passion that filled Y/N with relief. Although the pain of the past hung around like old perfume, it seemed to be patched by this kiss. His lips were plump and soft, his hands against her skin were rough but tender. He fit with her perfectly, and there was no one on earth who she likes kissing more. As they pulled apart, their eyes never lost contact.

It didn’t matter in that moment that she was leaving again in a month, or the fact that Robin had gotten there in the middle. Nothing mattered in that minute. Because all of those moments where they missed one another were mended right now. And somehow, even though she chose a different path, it still led her to her hometown. It led her to Steve.

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x you #stranger things x reader #stranger things x y/n

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americasmarauders · 4 years ago

Text

American Pie--Jason Todd.

author’s note: this has been on my drafts for an eternity. I finished this out of pure self-pressure and shame instileld by a tag game @batarella tagged me. I literally finished this in the treadmill, which I found is my favorite place to write.I wanna thank @batarella and @offendedfishnoises for being real troopers and encouraging me and proofreading this.

words: 2284

Beware: curse words (cause i’m a potty mouth), Jason being a shy pinning boy. I reccomend you listen to (or at least look at the lyrics for) American Pie by Don McLean and OUr Song by Taylor Swift.

Silence.

Excruciating silence. That was what Jason remembered from death.

He remembered thinking ‘This will be the day that I die,’ before the world turning black and silence overtook his entire being killing what was left of his soul.

After that it is all he remembered: silence.

He used to think music was everything. When he was bored, he used to bolt out to the most random songs in his room at the Wayne Manor, to the point of an angry Bruce storming to his room and quietly turning down the volume.

It took him a while to look fondly at those memories, and he still wasn’t sure if he did look at them like that. He was at the point of just thinking of them as just that: memories so far away from who he was, he considered them to belong to a different person entirely.

Music just didn’t hold the same wonder and joy as it did. Jason didn’t belt out whatever song he wanted anymore, he just idly stood by as any song came on whatever radio he was listening while he waited on his patrols.

It was like the music died with him.

He sipped his drink as a light jazzy tune sounded in the background of his mind. He didn’t pay any attention to it, rather he was engrossed in his own sorrow to listen to any of the diner’s songs.

He hummed in indifference, looking up from his cup and looking around. It was the middle of the afternoon, and the diner was mostly empty. There was a girl in the back, messing with the jukebox. Jason took a good look at her.

She was wearing a plaid skirt, with a bright orange cropped blouse. She wore her hair loose. She looked too engrossed in her song choice to realize anyone looking at her. He glanced at the table next to her: filled with books and old cups he assumed were once filled with coffee.

He heard an angry curse and saw her shaking aggressively the jukebox. “You, know,” he spoke up, “I’m not an expert on jukeboxes or anythin’ but I’m pretty sure that’s not how they work.”

She looked at him bewildered. She narrowed her eyes at him, almost as if she were trying to dissect him in a split second. “This machine swallowed my quarter and will not let me select a song.”

He abandoned his cup and got up, heading towards the weird lady. “Let me see if I can help.”

She stepped aside and left room for him to see what happened. “By all means.”

He quickly analyzed it. He glanced at the woman next to him, her arms crossed over her chest, meticulously analyzing what Jason was doing. He hit the spot next to the coin slot and heard the coin going down the mechanism. He got up and said: “There. All fixed.”

“I can’t believe it!” she exclaimed. “I’ve been trying forever to get this thing to work and you come here and just make it work in seconds.” She turned to the jukebox and muttered, “Don’t you love me anymore, you silly machine?”

Jason laughed. “I’m Jason,” he said, extending his hand.

She took it and shook it. “I’m Y/N.”

“Well,” Jason stated awkwardly, “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

“No, wait!” she said. “Sit with me. I see you’re there all alone, and I need someone to listen to my thesis,” she explained. “You seem like a nice guy, you know? What do you say? I’ll buy you a milkshake,” she smiled.

Jason pondered. It wasn’t like he had anything else to do. And maybe a little company would do him well. She seemed perfectly nice, albeit a little weird. Why not?

“What are you working on?” he said, sitting opposite to where she was.

She smiled and went on and on about her research. To be completely honest, Jason only understood about half of what she was saying, and every time he made a funny face she would pause and patiently explain it again until his face melted into something resembling understanding. She would smile at him, and his heart hiccupped every time she did.

She bought him a drink, and they stayed at the diner for a while. Jason discovered she wasn't from Gotham--not that it was hard to see, she had invited a complete stranger to sit with her in a shady diner in one of the worst neighborhoods of the city. She was a student, getting her master's in something too complicated to explain in the hours they spent together. Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she talked about her research. Jason liked that.

He offered to walk her home. She refused. He smiled and gave her a knowing look. "Listen, I'm sure you know Gotham ain't a safe city,” he said. "Imagine it at night," he should know. He was a witness and victim of the horrors of Gotham.

She budged. He carried her books for her. She seemed grateful. She tried the whole afternoon to get him to talk about himself. Jason didn't want to scare her off, so he gave her the bare minimum. Do you have a degree? No, but I'd like to. What do you do? I'm a freelancer. Do you have any siblings? No.

Looking back at the moment she stood in front of her building, lit by streetlights, eyes twinkling with something Jason wouldn't recognize until much later, he knew he should have kissed her. He shouldn't have held her at arm’s length for so long. Alas, he had. He didn't kiss her. She says he was a perfect gentleman. He knows that. It doesn't mean he doesn't have regrets.

She gave him her phone number. "I liked talking to you. If you're ever around the diner again, call me. I'll save all the good stuff for you," she winked. He laughed. He saved her phone number as if it was the most precious thing in the world. It kinda was.

He texted her. He went to the diner, intentionally. He had to see her.

No, he didn't. He didn't have to see her. If he didn't, it would have been another 'what if' of his life. He would survive, and maybe regret that he had chosen what he had chosen. The difference was he wanted to see her. And he hadn't done something he wanted in a very long time.

He was the first to arrive. He sat by the window, looking at the city. The sun was setting, there was an orange glow illuminating the diner. He awkwardly fiddled with his straw, stirring the milkshake (strawberry as always, he wasn't an animal like Tim) calmly. He heard the bell ringing.

She walked in and Jason swore she was an angel. The light hugged her, and he thought she was there to save him. Save him from himself, from the nightmares, from his job, from his trauma. She smiled at him and he was goner. Second time seeing her and he was gone. He fell for her.

She was wearing glasses, her hair tied, sweatpants and a Gotham University t-shirt. Her bag hung from her shoulder, her hand wrapped tightly around the strap. She wasn’t nowhere near as dressed up as last time he saw her. It didn't matter. She was beautiful either way. She fixed her glasses as she sat in front of him.

She ordered some tea, and Jason thought who orders tea in a diner. She did. Y/N was extraordinary that way. She said she had thought about him. He somehow believed her. He smiled back at her and sipped his milkshake.

“I brought you something,” she said. She dug through her purse and took out a book. She slid it to him over the table. His hands unfurled from his cup and grabbed it. His eyes skimmed over the hardcover. Shakespeare’s Sonnets. A rare edition at that. “I think you might've read it already,” she shrugged. “You mentioned you liked Shakespeare. I was walking through a book shop near the University and I saw this edition and I thought of you.”

Jason flipped through the book, the smell of dust filing his senses. That was the smell of a good book. A book that had seen many lives. He loved it. He looked at her, her eyes expecting a reaction of him. He offered her a shy smile. She took it and her smile was so bright it almost blinded him. “Thank you. I—I— It’s very thoughtful of you.”

“You’re welcome, Jason,” she replied. “I thought you would like it.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out. He held back once again. He wanted to tell her that he loved it. That it was probably one of the best gifts he had ever received. “I liked it.”

She reclined on the seat and smirked. “It’s quiet here, isn’t it?” she said. Jason looked at her quizzically, his hands resting on the book. He saw her get up from her seat, a coin on her hand. She put the quarter on the jukebox and selected a song. She seemed proud of herself as Jason watched her with nothing but wonder. She sat in front of him again, as a piano played on the background and a voice of a man sounded through the tune.

“I love this song,” she stated. “Don’t you?”

Jason shrugged. “I don’t know it.”

She was shocked. “You don’t? That’s a first. Someone that doesn’t know ‘American Pie’.”

“Isn’t that a movie?” he asked. With the limited popular culture knowledge he had, he still knew some things.

“Yes it is, but it was a song before that. By Don McLean. 1971,” she hummed with the tune. “It’s like poetry.”

He gave her a funny face. “I hardly think it’s like poetry.”

She gasped, pretending to be offended. “Betrayal,” she whispered, but soon after she smiled. “It’s because you’re not appreciating it enough,” she answered. She grabbed another quarter of her purse and got up. She pointed to him as she walked to the jukebox. “Listen to it and pay attention.”

“Fine,” Jason huffed. He didn’t want to tell her that his appreciation for music had died with him. Not yet.

He listened to it. Really did. Truthfully, he hadn’t understood a single word of what he meant, but Y/N seemed happy that at least he had somewhat liked the song. It was catchy. But he would hardly classify it as poetry.

"I'll convince you. Music is everything," she said.

So it began her quest to culture Jason, as she called it. He found it endearing to say the least. His judgement was seriously clouded.

She would send recommendations to him, writing extensively how these songs were everything to her. Because of that Jason would pay extra attention to it.

It felt strangely personal to listen to them with them in mind. It was like listening to a part of her soul. It might as well be that. She was entrusting him with a part of her, and he wasn't exactly worthy of that.

He felt dangerously unprotected around her. Jason was constantly toying with the line between keeping up his eccentric bad boy façade and opening his heart to her. Who was he kidding? He already had opened his heart to her. He just hadn't told her yet. He didn't know if he was going to.

Reading the sonnets suddenly felt extremely personal too. It wasn't about appreciating art anymore. He was living the love poems. He was feeling everything Shakespeare was describing. Desperation rose in him the first time he realized that.

How was he supposed to continue with his job--oh God, his job--when there was someone out there that cared if he was dead or alive? How was he going to blackmail a drug lord when he himself could be blackmailed? What was he going to say to Bruce? What was he supposed to do?

A soft pop song played on the radio. They were going through pop songs now. Y/N had said it was imperative that he'd listen to Taylor Swift. And Jason could admit she had a point.

As he drove through the quiet highway, his hand itched to hold hers. They were driving to Metropolis. She had said there was an exhibit that they couldn't miss. A science exhibit. Jason didn't care for science, but she did, and seeing her with that glint in her eyes was the best part of his day.

Fuck it, he thought. His hand left the shift and encapsulated hers. He could feel her gaze on him, he knew she was smiling. His heart almost jumped out of his chest. Thank God, he was alive.

She turned down the volume of the song. His eyes shifted to hers for a second, her expression neutral. "What's wrong?" He said, his voice bordering desperation.

"We don't have a song," she said, quietly. "We don't have a song," she repeated.

Jason's worry dissipated into thin air, and he opened a smile. "Of course we do."

"How? I don't remember ever--" she trailed off, looking confused at him. His eyes once again went to her, his smile soft.

"How about laughs, the soft sound of cars outside? The jazzy tune you always play on the fucking jukebox," he heard her laugh, his hands squeezed hers. "Reciting poems, you rambling about whatever you discovered? Huh?" he hummed. "That's our song."

She smiled at him one again. And that was when he knew what he was supposed to do.

He was supposed to live. And he was going to live with her by his side.

author’s note: here is the link to my masterlist and the link to my jason playlist

#jason todd x reader #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd x y/n #Jason Todd #red hood x reader #Red Hood X y/n #red hood #red hood x oc #my masterlist

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