#relly writes stuff

[maygrantgf]

why's it so hard to see in the dark when you're already golden?

Teen • 5.4k • Buck & Maddie

It’s a dark figure behind him. There are no facial features he can make out but he intuitively knows he’s staring at a side profile. The figure faces the window, yet no light illuminates its face and remains dark.

Buck feels rooted in place. He wonders idly if this is what sleep paralysis feels like. He can’t move, can’t speak, can barely breath, but he doesn’t feel scared. He feels strangely calm.

Somehow, he gains the ability to speak. His voice sounds foreign to his own ears when he asks in a very monotone voice, “who are you.”

No answer.

“What’s your name.”

No answer.

“What are you doing here.”

No answer.

or

the world turns upside down for five days. buck loses his mind about it.

read on ao3

[tonberry-yoda]

guess who's also gonna redo her pinned post?

this flippin girly

*sighs*

[lucyskywalker]

This will be critical towards 600 strikes. Don't like, don't read.

"Oh, but Dyomedes stabbed a god..."

The last time I checked this story is not about Dyomedes and the God in question wasn't Poseidon.

The context and message behind the myth is completely different. Actually, the message behind Dyomedes duel with Ares and Aphrodite is the opposite. It's to establish one of the main themes of the epic: how human choices and efforts become insignificant when fate and immortals are in control.

Dyomedes myth only proofs that if Poseidon wanted Odysseus dead for good, he would be dead. End of the story.

Odysseus was punished by his Hubris. Like Lesser Ajax was before him, like Niobe and her children also were slain by Apollo and Artemis.

It wasn't just a torturing journey for some petty reason.

It was a lesson.

And when he learned that lesson, he went back home.

Using Dyomedes to defend what happend in 600 strikes is literally absurd.

"Oh, but Poseidon deserved it."

The fact you say that proofs u don't know shit about Greek Mythology and how it is deeply rooted in how this ancient society worked and worshipped those gods.

Poseidon didn't deserve any of this. Not within this myth.

Odysseus was the one who committed Hubris, over and over again during his journey.

Odysseus was the one who believed to be above the gods due his witty and cunning nature.

Odysseus was the one who put his crew in danger because of his own pride more than once.

Odysseus was the one to harm Poseidon's son and left him alive in an act of mockery during the Odyssey.

Even during the retelling of Jorge in Epic the musical, many things Odysseus have done are pretty much debatable and are the roots of all his problems.

Even in Jorge's retelling, he stablishs angering the gods is not a good idea. Like in the song Munity, when Eurylochos kills Apollo's cows (or Hellio's).

Even before it, he established that not hearing them or going against them is not smart choice.

My Goodbye and Remember Me.

Odysseus tought he was wiser than Athena for showing mercy. But the fact is... he wasn't and he paid the price for believing such thing. Which can also be depicted as a consequence of Hubris.

It happend again during his entire journey later on. Odysseus choose to go to the underworld to avoid Poseidon. He choose to sacrifice six of his remaining men to not face Poseidon.

Because Poseidon is that much of a threat. It is a force of nature so powerfull, Odysseus cannot expect to face it.

Later, in Thunder Bringer, once again we are reminded of how powerfull, mighty and terrifying the gods truly are

Making some kind of final battle between Odysseus and one of the eldest gods, where he ends not only torturing Poseidon, but also commanding him, and somehow gets out alive, not only goes against all his journey lessons and everything the Odyssey is about, but it is also extreamly ooc of Jorge's own writing.

Odysseus never rellied on strength and a face to face battle to win.

Actually, he is "a warrior of the mind". He rellies on strategies and deceptions. He was never meant to be like Herakles nor Achilles.

And be helped by the ghosts of his dead crew? When he is pretty much the reason why they are, uk, dead? Even if they were willing to help, how did they left the Underworld? By a bus of ghosts?

What is Hades doing? Throwing a party?

I'm not even going to debate the jetpack stuff.

You can say whatever you want to apologize the writing be it "the fates wanted that way, so it doesnt matter", "he won because of Ares's blessing".

Whatever. You just crossed the line of an adaptation to a straigh up fanfiction.

Study the classics about the tale you so claim to love instead of saying so many things with no basis with so much pride.

[scribblers-shadowlands-arc]

So blood work results came in.

Prog - 8.6 ng/ml roughly 11 hours after last intake

Estradiol 323 pmol/l roughly 14-16 hours after last intake (which is decent number I say, specifically didn't slap any gel on morning to look what levels will be) (plus my tits still growing okay so I not concerned at all with those numbers they in perfectly okay levels😌)

T - 4.97 nmol/l which is just 0.97 above of CIS wome levels (proly white european women actually

Some thoughts. Combo of 5mg estradiol gel and 400 mg prog just enough for me to keep testosterone in check

However I am not sure that I need that much prog in my system. It's fight with T for same receptors when it's enters system, same with estrodiol (if I remember correctly, might be wrong).

So by having a decent amount of prog in my system, even with bit higher T level I may not experience effects of T cause it just sits around doing nothing cause prog bullied it away from its receptors that allow T to have any effect (transmasc btw don't just relly on general level of t analysis. Do check up other things to. You could have levels through the roof but not experience much effect because other things in play. Blood work is damn complicated topic to write from a top of my head)

And there no guarantee that T level even get significantly higher then it's now. With 200mg prog it was at 8 nmol/l which mean 200 extra knocked it down by 3. Extra 1.5 per 100 mg or even worse after 300mg we hit a wall and dampening of T levels make a nose dive

Which lead me to the point of my yesterday rant. There many reasons for me to experience brain fog.

Inconsistent diet and sleep - unlikely, that happen not that often to be of any significance

Burn out - highly likely but it's not like I wasn't burned out for like last 4 years. It may reinforce what I have now but ilat this point it's not a root of a problem (it kinda is but until I change my job and won't start art commission for living I don't see anyway to address it)

And progesterone - one of things about prog is that have sedative effect. For a few month I was doing split dose on morning and evening and it sedated the ever living shit out of me. For 2 month I didn't wanted ANYTHING. Hard to concentrate pay attention - oh my adhd was a field trip those two month.

After switching back for one intake before sleep stuff get a bit better but fog not gone completely.

So for now I pick prog as a main culprit of this issue. I gonna lower dose down to 300 mg for next 2 month then do another blood work (though this time I'm gonna some e-gel on morning. I wanna see his my day to day levels behave too. Also if I remember correctly prog not only suppress T but E too? May mistaken something but after increasing prog my E levels dropped too)

So anyway figuring out correct doses of meds take time and mistakes could be make but I feel better then before. Life is great tits and hips are growing and maybe soon I would have some energy back. Yaaay

[pulim-v]

Hey there! Good morning/day/night, whenever you see this!

For that fandom ask game, maybe Pokémon? And since I know there's WAY too many stuff involved in this franchise (manga, games, anime, perhaps more), you can pick something more specific, (like x the game, or black white manga, or sun moon anime, you get the gist) or you can answer from stuff from the whole franchise. Whatever you want. :)

Alright! I think I'll do it for the pokémon manga and then the pokémon anime :]

my favorite female character

Definitely White! White gets points from being in my favorite chapter and also having amazing dynamics and a relly cool arc (the scene with her and N on the Ferris Wheel was. insane. the first time I read it)

my favorite male character

BLACK!!!! Though Cheren is a close second. Just. He's such an ADHD gremlin I love him (deeply relatable and also his dynamic with the other main characters is sooo tasty I love him)

OH ALSO Yellow is the girliepop ever but I cannot concretely say what their gender is because I could easily see them being trans in some way lmao

my favorite book/season/etc

Black and White Chapter, though the Diamond and Pearl Chapter and the Yellow Chapter are also super cool

my favorite episode (if its a tv show)

My favorite chapter is definitely either the White/N Ferris Wheel scene, the BW ending, or one specific chapter of DP where Ms. Berlitz falls into a gym in the middle of the night and quickly finishes the puzzle AND beats the gym leader. Cartoon logic things going on in there it's so funny.

my favorite ship

AGENCYSHIPPING (Black x White) 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 shutouts to SpecialShipping (Red x Yellow), EntourageShipping (Diamond x Pearl x Ms. Berlitz) and FranticShipping (Ruby x Sapphire) too

a character I’d die defending

CHEREN 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 yes he did a lot of things wrong but like he was brainwashed also he's literally gay?

a character I just can’t sympathize with

He's just kinda eh to me but Emerald is really a nothing character (also Lack-Two)

a character I grew to love

I used to not really think much of Ruby and Sapphire iirc but they're lowkey one of the best written duos in Pokespe

my anti otp

I just. do not get Manga/Poke/Ship/ping (Red x Misty). Misty is barely a character in Adventures.

Now onto the anime, though I should note I only watched gen 1, most of gen 5, the entirety of gen 6 and the first half of gen 7:

my favorite female character

Iris the dragon master they will never make me hate you <3

my favorite male character

Cilan the Gym Leader they will never make me hate you <3

my favorite book/season/etc

I'm a BW girlie since it was what I watched it when I was a kid but I also loved XY, and Sun and Moon has some amazing writing

my favorite episode (if its a tv show)

I don't remember most of it tbh, I thuoght the Elesa Gym Fight was just hilarious

my favorite cast member

Don't know much about the cast tbh

my favorite ship

I really want to watch Journeys just to see how much stuff there is for FirstFriendShipping, it seems so cool lmao

a character I’d die defending

IRIS THE DRAGON MASTER THEY WILL NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU

a character I just can’t sympathize with

Unova had a ton of rivals that just did. nothing. Stephan and Burgundy especially really felt like they contributed nothing to the story lmao

a character I grew to love

I think when I was younger I used to get annoyed at Ash but he's just a little kid I love him he's awesome <3

my anti otp

Apparently a lot of people ship Ash and Iris (the name is Ne/gaiSh/ipping due to the japanese word for Wishes since Iris was first shown in Best Wishes) which is not the vibe I get from these two, they are besties, girlies even, but they would not date

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

Finally I have forgotten enough small details from CN to no longer know it in its entirety start to finish

You know what this means!!!

IT'S REREAD TIME AGAIN LETS FUXKING GOOOOOOOOO

(Still a couple months left before it's itsg(ainly) time again, and unfortunately like half a year or more before BitA (my personal favorite, I can't help it) because I love it too much and remember it too well :( one day I can read it again without quoting it at the same time(ive already read it so many times))

you're so valid for having babysitting as your favorite, every once in a while i get a feral urge to write an apocalypse story but i never get too far hahah;; i relly like that subgenre ngl

also i do the exact same thing, going back to stuff i've read before. it really is a waiting game huh

[plankaren]

wellz i wanted to make this primarily a plankaren shipping blog but i'll talk about other sbsp stuffs too :)

this post here is a thought stream so im just rambling to myself. nothing too fancy. i need to write out my excitement!!

i just finished season 1 and since i have the dvd, there are a lot of bonus features. Theyre all so cute <3 unfortunately, although it was brand new, the case cracked on its own and the first disc had some sort of smudge i couldnt get off, and so a lot of data wouldnt load. i had to watch the latter episodes another way. and theres an audio commentary for plankton! on the disc which made me sad. I'll check that out soon through my other method. but i did get to watch the commentary for karate choppers.... man the cast are dirty xD I'm surprised clancy brown just went ahead and swore in mr. krabs voice on an official dvd. It delights me, but if i was my child self i would have been like "WHAT!!!!!!!! SPONGEBOB IS FOR KIDS!!!!!!!!!" bahahaha.

mmm well on the other end of the sponge history, i have been watching newer episodes with my friend, usually plankton and karen themed ones.

karen for spot is very cute episode. It aired exactly a month ago today! I have a soft spot (lol) for dog episodes because well, i have a hyperactive doggy who i love very much x) to me its very cute that plankton has a dog. and its interesting to see karen struggle with something! i realize now my icon is from this episode... i just download it from somewhere with no context xD

we also watched plankton gets the boot... to me this is a waaaaay better version of karen 2.0. i hate that episode. even since i was a child, it felt sexist to me in a way i couldnt articulate at the time. plankton is more of a plot device than a character there. actually just trying to explain this kinda ticks me off so imma leave it at that lol. The only part of karen 2.0 i did like was when spongebob and mr krabs took karen in, that was sweet. (also karen crying is cute... that feels evil to say but it is true. v.v) ANYWAYS PLANKTON GETS THE BOOT!!! Plankton is immediately punished for being an asshole! Thats already a good sign haha! And spunch helps him to better himself for karen. That part was sweet. I said this to my friend but i think since networks are more lax now they're letting the characters be gayer than before xD patrick kissing spongebob on the cheek is cute. I see it as friendship but waaaaaaa they love each other!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! the part where plankton is trying to make karen jealous is where i saw the contrast from karen 2.0. she does not care. its funny!!! i can say the only part i dislike is fatphobic plankton. Dx and well this might be more a personal thing, but sometimes when plankton and karen argue it feels too realistic to be funny? at the end of karen for spot it felt fine because Dog, but not relly here.

also patnocchio... I dont have much to say on this but i love the duo of patrick and plankton !!! and i love fairy karen... the end of the episode where plankton just yells KAREN made me hoot and holler a lil. heeheehoo. i am very entertained :)

also hi friend i mentioned in this post!!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!

[guardarecheluna]

hiii elle

i'm curious about the titles of your writing... i have to say they're really sweet, how do you come up with them? Relly looking forward to more of your writing!!

hi anon! I'm glad you're enjoying the titles, but i will be taking NO credit. So far they've all been lyrics from diffrent Dermot Kennedy songs, i recently discovered him, and i have to say that his music is suchhhh a treat, i highly recommend! And thank you for reading the stuff i write, you're very sweet! I'm posting a dadrry piece shortly!

Take care!! <3 elle x

[lucysarah-c]

My toxic trait is that I was the one who made Erwin do the stuff he does in HG, I am the one who writes his suffering and I AM the one WHO knows all the shit he did. I DO OK?

... but I also feel bad for him 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I want to give him a hug. I'm a relly emphatic person ok? I also feel bad for snails so I don't think I am a measure.

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 23rd April

Okay, this is exciting, some real time capsule songs for us, this week. And both with a real distinctive, rebellious energy. I can feel my toes tapping already...

C'Mon Everybody - Eddy Cochran (peaked at Number 6)

Oh, yeah. This is the stuff! From the get go, in this track, you know you're in for something fun, with this dirty, repeated bass note that sounds like something you'd get in a surf rock song, followed by some strummy Buddy Holly-style guitar and some satisfyingly echoey, clattering percussion, including a thupmy, stompy bass drum and a driving tambourine beat, all of it mixed together in this rough and ready garage-y style, very DIY, very unpolished. It's a distinctly Eddie Cochran sort of sound, if you know any of his other songs - I heard it and immediately thought "huh, sounds a lot like Summertime Blues". But I guess if it ain't broke, don't fix it?

Actually, the comparison to Summertime Blues isn't a bad one, because just like this one, that's a rockabilly song about teenage rebellion and the angst and frustrations of regular teenage life. In the case of Summertime Blues, it's about not wanting to work over summer, when it's nice out. And in this case, we've got a song about wanting to blow off steam and throwing a party, then hoping your parents don't find out. If you thought that that was the most "teen movie" setup for a song ever, you'd be correct. From lines about how I've been doin' my homework all week long / And now the house is empty and the folks are gone to lines about how we'll relly have a party, but we gotta put a guard outside because if the folks come home, I'm afraid they're gonna have my hide, it's just cliché on cliché, in the best possible way.

All this is the sort of thing that Buddy or the Everlys might sing, but somehow, there's just a bit more swagger to Eddie's self-portrayal, a bit more edge, in keeping with the rougher guitar and drums. You see it in the wild partying he's desribing, and in the slightly callous confidence with which Eddie proclaims that my baby's number one, but I'm gonna dance with three or four. None of Buddy's stuttering awkwardness, or the Everlys' tame hand-holding here! And then at the end, you also get the who cares line, where Eddie almost seems to be mocking his previous caution. Sure, Eddie's folks might not let him go out to the movies for a few weeks, might ground him so he can't run round with the usual crew, but who really cares? Certainly not Eddie! He's way too teenaged and rebellious for that.

It's all just as manufactured as what you get from the other, more clean-cut rockers, of course. It's another way that the "teenage experience" is increasingly being packaged and marketed back to teenagers at this point. Heck, I'm willing to bet that songs like this, in some ways, "created" the teenage ideal, confirming in minds nationwide that yeah, teenagers are "supposed" to want to blow off steam and party when their folks are away. It's what all the cool American teenagers are doing, didn't you hear?

Charlie Brown - The Coasters (6)

And from one very adolescent American song to another, except where Eddie was trying to project swagger and coolness, the Coasters are going for maximum goofiness, this time with more of a R&B doo-wop vibe. It was written as a follow-up to their previous hit, Yakety Yak, and all the hallmarks of that song are here - we've got silly lyrics, lots of energy and somebody just going nuts on the saxophone throughout.

Insofar as it's "about" anything, Charlie Brown is about a classmate of the Coasters, a real clown, who's always pulling tricks and messing around. Even as the song opens, he's potentially setting fires (fee fee fi fi fo fo fum, I smell smoke in the auditorium) and as the song goes on, he's gambling in the gym, writing on walls, throwing spitballs and most amusingly to a modern listener, he also commits the unpardonable sin of calling the English teacher daddy-o. Which, as well as apparently being a reference to the influential 1950s teenage rock and roll film Blackboard Jungle, is just about the most harmless 1950s act of rebellion ever. I mean, don't get me wrong, he sounds like a nightmare student who you absolutely don't want in your class. But it's all low-level stuff, general nuisance-ness, rather than anything more harmful or malicious. In that way, he's kind of the spiritual ancestor of Bart Simpson, acting out teenage rebellion in this exaggerated, comedic way that listeners are meant to identify with and half-admire. It's basically the in-school flipside to Eddie and his wild parties.

It's probably got nothing to do with Peanuts character Charlie Brown. I say probably, because it has been noted by some commenters that the downbeat Why's everybody always pickin' on me? and Who me? lines sound a bit like something Charlie Brown would say. Except if you listen to the song, it's sung in a comically deep bass voice that is absolutely not a Charlie Brown voice. Plus, other people have pointed out that Peanuts, while it had been running for a decade at this point, hadn't really hit the height of its popularity yet, in 1959. Also, Charlie Brown is a pretty common name. So. Probably not a reference.

I'm also just gonna note, without comment, that the little yeah, you line you get after who, me? is pitched up chipmunk-style. Which is what, the third time we've heard that effect being used in maybe a year. I guess people know a good gimmick when they hear one.

Both of these songs are silly, in different ways. And like I've said, they're both songs that are trying to portray a sort of idealised, relatable teenager, rebellious, but in a way you're supposed to admire, at least a little. In that respect, both songs are pretty great, not least because a lot of the folks involved were teenagers themselves not long ago. So yeah, there's at least a veneer of authenticity here, plus a youthful, fun energy that your Perry Comos, your Frankie Laines and yes, even your Elvises, to an extent, couldn't really hope to match.

Favourite song of the bunch: Summertime Blues C'mon Everybody

[maygrantgf]

heaven's here, it's right where you're standing

Teen • 4k • Buck/Eddie

“Up,” is all he says, out stretching his hand for Buck to take. 

Buck stares at him, his eyes darting between his face and outstretched hand. The glow of the tv dances across his features, highlighting his cheekbones and sharp nose. His brain finally catches up to Eddie’s instructions and he finally manages to say “what?”

“Get up. I’m teaching you how to dance,” Eddie says. There’s a sudden energy in the room that Buck can’t quite identify, but all he knows is that it’s charged. It’s hidden between the mirth in Eddie’s mouth and eyes.

“Why…?” Buck asks. 

Eddie shrugs and says, “why not?”

or Eddie attempts to teach Buck how to slow dance 

read on ao3

[the-firebird69]

There's a few things that you should know this guy de Santis is evil as hell to our son and we are terminating them with extreme prejudice they are an 8 all day and night. Same with Trump they're both end of Earthers he is an 8 no matter what he does and says and he's a fool because he demanded it. And his wife and his kids they are disgusting lousy morons. This afternoon went OK and some people want to talk and it's good he said this is what life is about and this other things people can do other than trying to leave my clan up on Saturn like riding and so forth max been doing this whole life and he says it's right and it's true and I'll be a son of a gun but I'm gonna start doing things and he says it's not your problem if I'm a close talker I said if you got closer to the breath is a problem so my good use started laughing and laughing. And it's just a nightmare what happens. So we are going ahead and we're going to start working on people who are not recovering and there are a bunch of Mike Goodhugh got ahold of something today our son and daughter said we need witnesses about working things it's not really harsh it's just Social Security and you probably won't call for anything bigger than that it says that's true he said we need to sell marijuana and he went nuts saying where and when and all this stuff so his son says someone's gonna write a huge prescription and he knows what it means and it's gonna be legit it still has to be careful kind of thing but we know what we're doing and he is going to try and do some things and we do know how to handle he's had some problems with certain things but it is gonna work I mean we'll have a few things like that but these people need to calm down and he's calmer and he was a little excited but it's good I mean he was talking about his car and he's talking about the hemi but he had a really fast car that he found it was his and he took the motor and put into a small old truck and that thing really tooted I mean it's fun but it dangerous as hell and our son is gonna have fast cars and they wanna relax with him and Trump wants to be **** **** that's what he likes doing I guess and people don't like that. In the future assignment is just gonna say no and he's gonna be a problem and here's a problem now so we're gonna handle it. But we have businesses that are starting like that and it's kinda weird we're starting at the bottom alcohol tobacco no firearms. But things like that and he said we should be doing some scooters and some Frankenstein stuff with scooters and motorcycles and I started to believe him we have an air conditioning company we have a ton of air conditioning motors they're gonna be needed but they pull the old ones out and we have a huge pile of old ones and we can start retrofitting and he said we should make a fleet for the Midwest that do certain activities and the mail is not a good one but delivery for certain things with a sidecar and towing it and things like that are great and I started to wonder that's not a bad idea and trikes so we have a lot of those trikes they tend to wreck the motor and it's because they don't drive it correctly and it's very strange to get on it and they don't know how to shift right and it's easier. So it is goint to strt and gass roots worming into it black market and more and lower echelon and such. and to do it in africa..and meet w garth and a few ti-mes relly roll the ball export gneesis an chrysler...make kits import the product here and shaq sees it. and metal if he can nope and ok better quality and he agrees. and a few annd test it. make a triangle and it is good he will. and we shall arrange it see how it is. tons say now then yes.

fun times now ok this rules

Thor Freya

Olympus

[abood-family-gaza]

I am moustfa ,from Gaza.

We have suffered greatly from fear, displacement, and the destruction of our home , and everything we literally own…

We want to save ourselves from what seems like an inevitable death.

I hope you can take a look at our campaign on the pinned post on my profile ,and help us by donating or sharing our campaign to reach the largest number of supporters.🌹🌹

‏Relly Need Your Help To Evacuate Them To A Safe Plece As Soon As Possible Outside Gaza

It is not easy for me to ask for help, but I lost everything. Do not hesitate to help me. $15 or $10. A little helps

vetted by 90-ghost here

To donate paypal here

To donate Gofundme here

******************************************************

@bonicedemandarina @radical-lOver @weareweirdpeople @ash-the-bee@ettaberrytea @cryptdmoth @cthulusposts @eastgaysian

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@honeybeeffdrawshere @jayskai@astronnonyy

Hi my name abdelrazq from the North of gaza

We have been suffering from this war for 9 months and we have lost everything, all I aspire to is to raise money to get my family and children to safety.

So I created a donation link to help me and see all the story click here

@90-ghost

[pomolandian]

um so idk why i have a tumblr acc since i never post in here... umm... im not sure if anybodys gonna read this shit it write but i sometimes ffeeel like i want to speak to someone. of course ik this is not the right place to speak abt myself, but well... what can i say? so... im going to a foreign country one of these days and i rlly cant wait to go on a trip im so sick of my country and i need to see something new. even though this country isnt relly interesting, im glad i will be seeing new things.

um lately ive been pretty tired and sad and ive been languishing in limbo, but i keep on and waiting for school to start and do so many stuff ive been waiting for. it is kinda weird for me, but i want to visit so many places in my town, and my friends are on vacation rn, and i cant rlly hang out with them.

so im trying to be creative these days, and do my makeup and read books and write stories and design and draw, and im rlly glad i find moments for myself, to be creative and do something i like.

dude idk why i climbed a mountain which was 8000 ft tall ( 2500 m for the europeans). and yeah. dont do it ppl. i was so fucking tired after that my legs are still hurting.

i rlly hope the following days go good for me and everyonne i love. it has been a really shitty week, and i hope to get to rest the following days/. idk why im writing ll these shit, im just rlly bored ig. im not a writing genius as u noticed.

anyway thats it. if someone is reading it have a great summer.

[misquigleya]

🗒 — what is/are your favorite genre(s)/theme(s) to write?

🤔 — what genre(s)/theme(s) do you struggle to write the most?

Munday Meme.

🗒 -- well if you haven't noticed, angst is up there as most written genre/theme. Which I do enjoy, a lot, 'cause it brings something so...I don't know it's like getting that relly good crunchy ice from Sonic's. But I also do love me some fluff and other stuff.

🤔 -- Angst xD it's good, I love it, but if I write too much of it, it drags me down. So sprinkling in some fluff or spice or something else, it always helps!

[sschmendrick]

More than a year later I answer.

Hello Leska from the past. Oh how many things have happened. I remember that I wrote this just a few days after my first attempt. You've come a long way, and it still wasn't easy on you. But I'm glad you held on.

The therapist I found was nice, but didn't turn out to be the right one for me. I found another one recently, he's doing better at it. It might work this time. I hope.

💚 Oh dear past Leska, I'm not doing much better. BPD went unchecked and I had more complicated months and episodes. I'm back on treatment though and it seems to help. To tell you the truth, it was such a disability and obstacle I could barely work without exploding. The meds help tremendously. As for self-love and self-respect, I'm still trying to get there but the way is...long and slow. I need to open that self love workbook more often, really. I do have friends though ! My irl friends and I are still going strong and I still have a few good friendship/mutualships here. Also I know you're asking that because you felt you'd felt your closest friends when writing that message. Don't worry, you got some of them back, with some time. You made others and they have not treated you well and now these friendship have almost faded completely from your mind and all that's left is to cut the ties. That could be that beginning of self respect. As for that one goblin, I am not sulking anymore because I think I created these feelings out of fear, but I have reconnected with someone I had a crush on a few years back. We need to get dinner together someday she's relly near me.

🍁 Leska...I love them so much. Sadly, Karl, the singer, died soon after they were forced to postpone the concert. They have since started playing concerts again, but not having his voice...I can't do it yet. As for Canada, I still love the place, and Montréal and I would still love to go back there. My crush and I share Montréal actually. I'd love to go live there and work there for a bit.

🐱I'm sorry Leska, you wrote this two years ago but there is still no cat in sight. I've been trying my best but there were...complications. Now though, in 2025, I might have a better shot.

🎵I got my diploma not long ago !! I got the major I wanted and I did well in it :) I'm happy I finally went to the end of something and didn't change studies again. I did manage to go to one festival in 2023 then one in 2024, and then found a good internship that got me all the months I needed. And yes I have friends who like me, they don't really say it and it'd be weird to ask them to tell me it, but I have some really good people around me.

🧑‍🤝‍🧑They still are here ! And new names have been added. Some I see less, some I've been really happy to rekindle with, some I see on my dashboard and even though we aren't into the same stuff anymore I'm still happy to see them. Some others I thought were mutuals, even friends, but I was mistaken.

I'm glad I held out and kept trying. You had so much hope for me, and some has happened but I'm not as far advanced as I wish I were. The BPD got really bad again, multiple times and one time too many and that's when I truly needed to seek help to preserve myself. And that did me good. I'm still very stressed out by how one friendship breakup is breaking me as well but I have meds to help me, and friends to help me get another perspective as well. Then again I should have known that by being unmedicated and unskilled in dbt and tcc I would eventually attract people that are just like my abusers by making the same mistakes.

I met amazing people in my line of work though, and they've helped me keep going. They've been encouraging and very insightful and wells of experience.

I have been very tired lately but I believe it's a mix of doing 20km on my bike everyday, the friendship breakup, and workign so late at night in the dark for the most part. I've taken up drumming and it gives me energy somehow but I still miss horseriding and volleyball.

I have no clue what 2025 will look like because a lot of my plans have drowned, because of that friendship breakup. I might stay with my family for now, see how money I can spare, get my driving license, and find as much work as I can.

Thank you for the message, Love,

Leska 2024

Hello future me and Happy One year !

Well who doesn't like anniversaries ? Something to be reminded of !

On the 6th of November last year my closest friends at the time told me to not talk to them again until I get fixed by a therapist 🙂. Though I did need to go to therapy and get work done with a therapist, I also needed support to go through all of it and not just be me and my therapist. 💔

At the time I'm writing this, I haven't had my first session with my therapist yet (tomorrow) but I hope he's the right one and I'm still seeing him and doing progress as still post goes up.

💚 Dear Future Leska, how are you doing ? Is it going better ? Do you feel a little more grounded, less dependent on others, maybe a little self love or at least self respect ? How are you battling depression ? Do you have friends ? Are they old ones or new ones ? Have you found someone to be comfortable with as a partner or are you still thinking about that one goblin and sulking?

🍁 The Cowboys Fringants concert has happened so tell me, how was it ? Did you go alone or did friends accompany you ? How do you feel about Canada ? Do you still want to go there ?

🐱Did you get a cat in the end ? How are they doing ? Do you have pictures to show me ? Give them a little kiss for me please, I've been waiting for them for so long.

🎵 How are your studies going ? I hope you got in your final year...you better ! Did you get the major you were thinking of or did you change your mind ? I hope you managed to find interships otherwise we are so screwed for next year... Did you manage to do some live work ? Or at least go to a festival or two ? Were you accompanied ? I truly hope you have friends who love you, and let you know it, now.

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Tell me, how are the mutuals ? I know you can't forget them. How's Coop, Shade, June, Lina, Jestroer, Red, Hale, Apollo, Dee, Hekate, eMe, Hira, Gamebird, Sae and all the names that would pop up in your notifications ?

Tell me what's going on, tell me all the good things that happened, tell me the bad ones too, tell of your battles and how you survived. When I attempted suicide a year ago for you, they asked me what I wanted to become when I grow up when I was a child, and what I was hoping for the future. I have no real ideas for the future, I feel very lost and with nothing on my mind but I know I love you. Weird right ? I can't love myself right now but I can love my future self. I want to love you and I want you to feel loved, and wanted, and comfortable where you are. Just know that 21 year old us is looking up to you, they are looking forward to meeting you. I want you to be alive when this post goes up. I want you to smile and be happy, I want you to feel stable and surrounded by people who love you and will let you know. People who will not let you down when you need them, but also people you feel comfortable asking for help. You can do it, I believe in you. I have no other choice than to believe in you, and I don't want to make another choice.

Take care, I love you,

Leska