#she simply lets it happen because nicky loves it

[evgar]

nicky loves putting flowers in his mama's hair, naturally whenever rio is around she makes sure to grow the prettiest ones for them

[ennn]

Things I Liked About the Agatha All Along Finale - Initial Thoughts

Wooooo boy. Hey look I'm a bleeding heart shipper but I'm old and have been in enough fandoms. Let's process shall we?

Alice! Alice echo-ing what so many fans are saying about her lost potential. Rio actually being kind in reminding Alice her death did have purpose. "You're a protection witch, you protected someone."

The development of Billy's extremely complicated relationship with Agatha. Kid's not loyal to Agatha, he's understanding her, or starting to at least. He sees her being a relationship with Death and he's curious about the story there. He cares enough to connect the dots and see Agatha as a full person. And we see that developed as the finale goes.

"That's it? That's all the time that I get?" The show reminds us that death sometimes just happens – "Sometimes boys die" – I wonder if one of these writers is a Sandman fan because I immediately clocked a parallel to Death of the Endless taking a baby's life in her first comic appearance.

Death of the Endless is of course much kinder than Rio is with her (iconic) reply to that eternal question. "You lived what anyone gets... A lifetime."

That whole convo we got in the preview clip. And then them just sitting down and talking more? Albeit with layers of manipulation but y'know that's them.

Agatha telling Rio that she'll hand over Billy if Rio leaves her alone: essentially making Rio once again choose between her duty and her feelings towards Agatha. The deepest cut Agatha could make – which we see echoed with "If you do this I'll hate you forever." They know each other and the best ways to hurt each other.

I laughed waaaay too much at Agatha ragging on Jen's last vegetable name.

Jen's unbinding ritual was powerful and a fantastic moment for the character. She recognised and embraced her power. Agatha's mask slipping a little at the end as well. Amazing. Sasheer killed it.

The whole scene with Agatha working with Billy to bring Tommy back was beautiful and emotional and well put together and showed the side to Agatha that cements her as a great mentor (when she's not being the biggest murderous asshole).

Agatha using what she learnt from her Alice and Jen – and what Lilia told her – to hold her ground with Rio... okay it lasted like 10 seconds but it was a nice callback! Agatha's such a shameless survivor.

Incredible kissing. We knew Hahn and Plaza would deliver and they did. When it comes to kissing women, these two absolutely go for it.

Rio looking absolutely gutted with having to take Nicky away. Plaza really delivered with Rio's pain in these eps. Agatha calling her "my love", cursing and then begging.

Rio being soft about Nicky despite her job. Nicky willingly going with her with no fear, no hesitation – suggesting that they did bond somehow? Nicky knew she was a friendly face and trusted her. It was really a good death, all things considered. He wasn't sick, he wasn't in pain, he wasn't scared he simply fell asleep and just went.

Rio reminding Nicky to kiss his mom goodbye. She cares so much, as much as a personification of death can. It's funny how some people thought Rio was going to be this manipulative big bad but no, Agatha's the more toxic one in this relationship.

Okay like imagine Agatha finally dying and just straight up BOOKING it before Rio pops up. Rio hates ghosts. The number of times Agatha deliberately pissed her off this finale was amazing.

"I'm sure he'll forgive you for... whatever you did." Aw Billy is a good kid. Just like Nicky was. Agatha needs that reminder, that anchor to not be the Worst.

Chemistry aside, Agatha and Billy being mentor-pupil makes a ton of sense because these Maximoffs do the most fucked up shit (unintentionally) with their magic and Agatha's got the knowledge, charisma, cynicism, and the morals of a spinning compass to support him.

Alright when are they announcing the sequel / spin-off? I know there's a rumour of it happening. Rio's got 2 abominations and one endlessly aggravating ghost of an ex to deal with now.

[tunemyart]

Agatha saying "Because the truth is too horrible" in response to Rio's question about why she lets people believe the stories about what happened to Nicky made me ??? when we got the actual context: that they fell asleep. That Rio came at night. That Nicky passed peacefully, holding Death's hand in his like a mother's.

Agatha, ofc, doesn't see it happen. Rio took care to make sure she wouldn't.

And I think that's part of what's "too horrible" about the truth for her, and why she has trouble admitting to the depth of her relationship with Rio, why she looks away in pain when the rest of the coven realizes that Rio is Death. Because Rio was avoiding her for the years Nicky was alive. Because Agatha knew why, and was more than happy to let her. Because Agatha accepted that Nicky was living on borrowed time and did her best to ignore the implications. Because what kind of mother is loved by Death herself and still allows Death to take her child?

She hates Rio because if Rio loved her, she wouldn't have taken her child. She hates Rio because Rio wasn't in love with her enough.

But it's too horrible because what kind of con artist can't - or won't - con the woman in love with her when the stakes are this high?

I find it really interesting that we never see con artist Agatha even try to con Rio. She deals with Rio in truths. Is there history there, where she tried and failed? Is it simply because they know each other too well, or that Rio is too powerful? Or, underneath everything... is it also too horrible, just a little bit, because Agatha's still in love with Rio in a way she can never admit?

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hey!

I have recently entered the fandom and have yet to read the books, but I’ve kinda spoiled myself all of tvl. I was wondering what was lestat’s relationship with his older brothers, if anything was ever mentioned. I know his older brother is Augustin and that the second one wasn’t named, and I know the marquis’ viciousness and his relationship with Lestat, but I know close to nothing about how Lestat’s relationship with Augustin and the other one was. If he loved each other, if they didn’t, what Augustin and the other one thought of Lestat and vice versa.

Do you mind telling me more about them? I’m positive I won’t be able to read tvl for another few months, so I’d appreciate it :D

Hey!

Welcome :) Hope you will enjoy your stay here!

Lestat's... relationship with his brothers (six older brothers, but only two of those had survived into adulthood) is... not good, to put it simply.

They are the ones who go and drag him back when he tries to run away, who lock him up, and beat him. They are the ones who mock him, and berate him. They are the ones scolding him.

Augustin is the one directly named, and so there are a few instances where they talk, or better, where Augustin berates Lestat or scoffs when Lestat tells of the wolves, for example.

"You little bastard, " he said coldly. "You didn't kill eight wolves! "

I don't think there was much love lost between them (all), at least from their side, Lestat was too different, and too full of life for the way they lived at the castle. There is this note that Augustin had "spent his wife's small dowry as soon as he married her." Lestat's family is impoverished gentry, and literally living off the meat Lestat brings back from hunting by the time the wolves happen.

Augustine is also the one who initiates the scene with the "impossible", which is referred to in 1x01, when Louis goes out onto the Fairplay balcony - Nicolas gives Lestat the fur-lined cloak, and Augustin scoffs:

"Now he will really be impossible! "

Which then leads to Nicolas famously saying (and that is what Lestat says in french when Louis steps out there):

"I too am impossible, Monsieur, " he whispered as I gave him the parting kiss. "Someday, will you let me come to talk to you and tell me how you killed them all? Only the impossible can do the impossible. "

This comment by Nicolas is important, but Gabrielle's comment after is also, because:

"But why don't you go down to the town and make a friend of him? " she asked. "Why the hell should I do that? " I asked. "Lestat, really. Your brothers will hate it. And the old merchant will be beside himself with joy. His son and the Marquis's son. "

His brothers will hate it... and both Gabrielle and Lestat want to break free, from their life and from his brothers - her sons - have talked about breaking free at that point, and in that conversation, Lestat confessed to dreaming about killing them all:

"Mother, " I said in a low voice, "there is more to it. Before it happened, there were times when I felt terrible things. " There was no change in her expression. "I mean I dream sometimes that I might kill all of them, " I said. "I kill my brothers and my father in the dream. I go from room to room slaughtering them as I did the wolves. I feel in myself the desire to murder... "

The relationship between them is never resolved.

Lestat's brothers die in the revolution.

I am not sure how the show will spin it, but in the book he is turned before that happens - and with the turning came money, from Magnus, and despite all the bad blood, the beatings and insults, the being locked up... he sends gifts back home.

He goes and purchases toys for his nieces and nephews to send home, and sends money directly. Dreams about renovating and furnishing the castle.

When they die, he thinks about them, often, falls into a depression after Nicki's death, refers to them at the same time that he does think about Nicki.

They are on his mind, despite everything. And I think he loved them, despite everything. They were... family. But an abusive one.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Hii, I'd once again like to request some arsonist Neil/firefighter Andrew; I'm really invested in the twinyards' dynamic. Have a nice week : )

WIP Wednesday (8/28) | Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew AU (Part 217)

“And I care about that because…?” Andrew drags out the last word like a long hissing sound and Aaron just stares at him.

“Because I love her and I’m having kids with her. And I want you to come too.”

Andrew lets out a breath. “What does it matter if we spend Christmas together or not? Neither of us is religious, we never have before, and Nicky isn’t here to force any terribly-wrapped gifts into our hands. It doesn’t matter. It’s just another day.”

“I want to introduce you and Katelyn.”

Andrew shrugs. “We have met.”

“At knife point, it doesn’t count.” Aaron grits out. 

“I think it counted to her.”

“Fine, yeah. Maybe it counted. But she hasn’t met you like this.” Aaron says, waving his hand about as if Andrew were on display.

“Like what?” Andrew challenges, expecting Aaron to simply say ‘sober’. 

He’s strangely surprised when his brother says, “You know, back to yourself.” To himself.

“Does she need to?”

“Yes!” Aaron throws his hands in the air. “Everything was fucked up back then, Andrew. We didn’t even speak to each other unless we had to. But we’re fixing it. And I want it to stay fixed. But that can’t fucking happen if you can’t get along with my girlfriend long enough to eat dinner!”

Somewhere in that statement lies an ultimatum that raises Andrew’s hackles. He bites back several killing blows and manages to keep his voice neutral. “What is that, a threat? If I don’t come over and play house with you, you’ll stop talking to me again?”

Again.

[biodegradablepoet]

Since when was this an AAA blog? lol.

So, I have a few things to say now after watching the last episodes again. Let’s start off with really the one thing that bothered me (other than the fact that they did not touch up on how Agatha got a hold of the darkhold), and that is the kiss at the end. Honestly, I just want to know the thought process Agatha went through to go from “I’m leaving Billy here to be taken away by Death,” to “I’m gonna kiss her very passionately even though I said I don’t want to see Death’s face and basically initiate the kiss of death and sacrifice myself). What was said calculated risk? And to have Jac say Agatha was using her ability to take magic from other witches. But that only happens when they blast her with magic. Soooooo this is a hole in your logic, love. But I’m not gonna downright insult the writing of the show. I just think it’s weird. It doesn’t make sense. That is a flaw. It would have made sense to simply say it was the kiss of death, period, but to say it was the kiss of death AND Agatha was taking her magic… Yeah, major flaw in lore in my opinion.

Now onto a happier (sad) note. I read somewhere that Nicky was supposed to be made from death. Either it’s a theory that’s been confirmed as Rio being the unofficial parent of Nicky or it’s just a theory that I find beautiful. Nicky being made from death, made to die, made to technically stay with Rio and then Rio allowing Agatha time with Nicky, is just beautiful to think about. I would have liked to see that explained in the show honestly, instead of speculation. If Nicky was made to die, Nicky could have known. He could have had a feeling. Not because we all eventually die, but because his mother quite literally fell in love with Death. In that flashback when he was a newborn and Agatha basically killed those first witches after saying Nicky needs food and whatever, she asks him if he likes that. The baby was silent. It’s obvious in a way that Nicky is accustomed to death, not just because his mother killed a lot of people, but because he was supposed to die anyway. I don’t know how to tie up this thesis, to be honest, but I will say I genuinely like that concept. It bonds Agatha, Rio and Nicky in a way that the show should have shown. If this isn’t just a theory, I would have liked to seen the love Death may have had for her love’s love, their child that was made to die.

[emmerrr]

Ooh, fooled around and fell in love sounds intriguing for the WIP game 👀

@toast-the-unknowing also asked for this one! i feel bad because it's not a pynch one, it's for aftg which i don't think either of you are in the fandom for(?). and it's not even a popular ship in that fandom!

but anyway, it's a kevin/allison fic that i'm going to make so much longer and more dramatic and angsty than it has any right to be. it's gonna sprawl many years -- within the fic, i'm hoping it's not gonna me years of my real life to write lmao -- and there'll be ups and downs, etc. i have fun with it every time i add to it.

anyway here's its very rough beginning:

Pinpointing beginnings can be difficult.   Was it just the flick of a switch, off to on? Or was it simply always there, simmering below the surface? How long were the roots in place before anything began to flower? Maybe it started and then stopped a thousand different times in a thousand different ways. Or maybe it started here, in a cabin in the mountains, Allison leaning dangerously over a railing and drunkenly pointing an accusing finger at any of her coupled up companions. “No fucking where I can hear it. It isn’t fair to those of us who aren’t getting any.” “Maybe if you ask Kevin very nicely,” Nicky said, his smile saccharine sweet.  Allison made an immediate audible noise of revulsion in response, but she didn’t miss the equally scathing look that crossed Kevin’s face at the idea. In her drunken state, she felt mightily offended, and was still scoffing even as Renee herded her towards their room. “The fucking look he gave me!” she blustered, grabbing her washbag to search for her make-up remover. “He should be so lucky.” “Mm-hm,” Renee hummed soothingly. Dan had followed them in. “Who should be so lucky? Renee, can I borrow some toothpaste? Me and Matt both forgot ours.” Renee nodded and passed it over. “Kevin, apparently.” Dan snorted. “Like you’d even ever want him anyway.” “Of course not,” Allison said dismissively. “I’m just saying, he didn’t need to look so disgusted at the idea, y’know?” “In fairness,” Renee said diplomatically, “you hardly reacted in a particularly…complimentary way either.” Allison pointed a finger at Renee in the mirror without turning around. “Whose side are you on?” She held up her hands. “I wasn’t aware there were sides.” “Allison, you’re drunk, you don’t need to fixate on this, it’s only Kevin,” Dan said, shrugging. “I know it’s only Kevin,” she snapped. She didn’t know why she was suddenly so irritated. In the mirror, she saw Renee and Dan exchange a look, equally knowing, although Renee wore hers with vague amusement, whereas Dan’s was vaguely horrified. Renee clasped her hands together. “Do you think,” she started slowly, “that you’re protesting just a bit too much? Overcompensating, perhaps?” Allison turned around in her chair and narrowed her eyes. There was no point in pretending she had no idea what Renee was implying. “Listen. It’s never gonna happen. Not in Kevin fucking Day’s deepest, darkest, wildest fucking dreams.” Dan let out a small sigh of relief, but Renee just smiled. “Sure,” she said. “But what about yours?” “When hell freezes over,” Allison said. “Maybe not even then.”

thanks for asking guys! sorry if it's for a fandom you don't care about, i should've written what they were for on the list!

[e-adlirez]

I find it very funny how almost every one of Vi's near death experiences in the Special editions ends with Colette saving her lol

Power of friendship? More like power of gay love

HAHAH TRUE THO

They keep pushing Violette as a ship for some reason, but there's not much meat on the bone besides pictures of them standing next to each other and every cheesy-ass scene where Colette ends up saving Violet. At least with how Scholastic edits out micro-scenes of the girls being girls for the sake of fitting the book under a ridiculous page constraint, almost none of the Violette scenes that could've been present in the original Italian books are left in the English translations we read. I still stand by this, I feel like if you can't bring me food that isn't just the two sitting or standing right next to each other very closely, or looking at each other very closely, then I think you're compensating for something very hard.

I do know that there is some Violette moments in canon (the rivalry scenes in the early books do exist, after all), but most of it is just friendship prophecy bullcrap. Lookin' at you, Treasure of the Sea and Land of Flowers. If you want me to be convinced of their friendship saving each other (mostly Violet), then don't just do the MLP shnit of saying "oh it was the power of our friendship that saved you from getting sucked into Tartarus and losing yourself forever and falling 20 feet off a magical staircase". The way Cloud Castle did it was perfect: they simply had Violet save Pam from getting her dreams stolen, and when asked why she performed such a heroic sacrifice, Violet responded with "the eagle was going to attack you, I couldn't let that happen!"

Gets the point across, makes sense with their characters, the French translation of this scene is better than the monotonous crap Scholastic made of that scene just to say "YOU GET IT??? SHE-- SHE SAVED PAM BECAUSE SHE-- SHE SAW THE EAGLE WAS GONNA ATTACK HER, AND SHE COULDN'T LET THAT HAPPEN!" They grammar-corrected that scene for some reason? They grammar-corrected it, and the result was it made Violet's dialogue sound stiff and forced. Which kinda makes sense since in this moment she's prolly numb as hell but I digress--

Comparison time: the one on top is the English, and the bottom is the French

English: "Because the eagle was going to attack you, and I couldn't let that happen."

French: "Because that creature was attacking you! I couldn't let it do that."

Anyway off-topic ramble over. Scholastic translators and editors, please get good. We need this food, dammit, and you're depriving us of it already as it is. And on top of that, the little food you give us is crappy already :D Please get good

Annyyyywaaaayyyyy uhhh yeah same goes for Violette shippers. Please get good, if you want me to believe in your ship, then you're gonna have to give me more than just pictures of them standing happily next to each other, because it makes you look like you're grasping. Give me moments where they interact with each other in the text, illustrations of them hugging! I don't care, just please, give me something that isn't them just coincidentally happening to stand a few inches of each other! The Special Edition scenes are kinda good but also meh because they're friendship preaching, but eeeeeeeeehhhhhhhh actual substantial findings are very much appreciated.

Also I'm of the belief that Nicky saves Violet more and gets less narrative credit for such just saying-- /hj

[seeabout-afterdark09]

Jungle

Jungle

Drake (February 13, 2015)

"I'm just like a baby drooling over you".

I guess we know why Drake calls Nicki mami/mama. Lol.

Jungle is a slow hip-hop song that details Drake's internal turmoil as he contemplates his place in a certain woman's life. Despite growing older, he desires to be held by this woman and comforted by her. Gabriel Garzón Montano sings the chorus. "These days, I'm lettin' God handle all things above me/The things I can't change are the reason you love me/Listen, you can hear them callin' my name/I'm all over the place, I can't sit in one place." Nicki has always loved Drake for who he is, flaws and all. It seems as if Nicki has tried to lecture Drake about being too mobile, and Drake refutes that "he's all over the place." Literally, because he's a musician that tours a lot, and because he has a hard time staying in committed relationships. "Still findin' myself, let alone a soulmate, I'm just sayin'/Feel like we one and the same, our relationship changed/That, or it never existed." Drake is trying to explain himself, saying that he's not ready to settle down yet. But the contradictions are clear. He wants her but isn't completely ready to commit; for Nicki this is confusing and frustrating. "But fuck what they talkin' about on your timeline/That's cuttin' all into my time with you." Drake is referring to Nicki's habit for using on social media, while simultaneously not giving him the same undivided attention. He wants her attention and focus, but Nicki feels like she's being pulled in a bunch of different directions by him. He isn't ready to settle down, but he wants to be with a woman who wants to settle down; that invites a lot of friction.

"She said, "You're my everything"/"I love you through everything". This level of unyielding love is on brand for Nicki. "She forgave me for everything/This a "forever" thing/Hate that I treat it like it's a "whatever" thing/Trust me, girl, this shit is everything to me." Drake is talking about the fights he's had with Nicki over the years. But their relationship means everything to him. But even if Nicki and him don't see eye to eye, giving up on their relationship isn't an option. In the words of Drake, Dricki is a "forever thing." When Drake says "she's from the jungle", the jungle symbolizes a tough place. As in, this woman (Nicki) is hard because she was brought up in a rough area (the jungle).

"This shit is everything to me/This shit is everything/Don't know where we stand/I used to hit you 'bout everything." Drake and Nicki were tied to the hip when they were apart of Young Money, but since becoming solidified individuals they've taken their own paths to success in the industry. Drake feels hurt because he feels like Nicki isn't listening to him like she used to. "Are we still good? Are we still good?" Drake asks during the bridge. "If I need to talk, are you around?/Are you down for the cause?/Are you down?." If it isn't already obvious – "the cause" refers to their relationship.

In verse three Drakes talks about his experiences with other women and relates his indecisiveness to college students switching majors. "Call your number and it's out of service/Who can I call for your information?/What am I supposed to do after we done everything that we done?/Who is your replacement?." Drake is asking caustically, demanding Nicki to tell him how he's supposed to move on from her if he can't move on from her. In 2015, Drake and Nicki had known each other for seven years. Both Drake and Nicki place a massive amount of value on....time. Their history is more valuable than any random hookup Drake has, and more durable than any random Joe Nicki thinks is good enough to hold her bags. Drake wrote jungle to let Nicki know that they were in too deep to try and undo anything that had happened before. They're bonded to each other for life because replacements for the other simply don't exist.

[youdontknowhowtodiequietly]

He's just so 🙌.

He's got so much goddamn depth when you look under the surface and between the lines.

This boy, this MAN has been through so much shit in his life. He was brought into a world where he was separated from his twin by a guilt-filled mother who didn't actually care about him, she just took him back in because she felt bad. She probably neglected him even when he was an infant. He likely learnt to walk very early to take care of himself. He grew up around a constantly drunk and high mother and likely around uncomfortable sounds and sights, such as sex in the living room, and likely had to BEG his mother for even a scrap of food half of the time. He probably learnt to cook at the age of 4, and was likely hit for the first time at 3, maybe even younger.

Then, through all the abuse, he got sucked into her blackhole of self-destruction. I think he started drugs around 11, simply because he was so far gone by the age of 15 it took 2 weeks for him to sweat it all out, and even then (after being released from the bathroom) he was still going through withdrawal. He developed such a heavy dependence on drugs that it became normal enough for him to be able to play fucking exy, and still get good grades. And he still went through hell with his mother constantly hurting him.

And then? He finds out he has a brother. And how excited must have he been yet so guilt ridden because HE was the twin that she came back for, whilst Andrew got abandoned. And when said twin tells him to "fuck off", he probably felt that Andrew felt it too, how he was the leftover. But he still grappled for him. I imagine, when he found out Andrew was arrested, he wrote letters he'd never send in a notebook he bought from stealing money from his mom.

Then Luther happens and suddenly his brother is there! In front of him! And how exciting it is to finally have someone to talk to! How alike were they? Did they somehow develop similar interests despite growing up separately? Did they sound the same? Did they share the same sarcasm? He wonders if-

Andrew hates him. And fuck if that isn't the most heart-wrenching thing a 14-year-old, who had never been told he was loved, had never been told he was even liked, by anyone in his family (maybe except for Nicky but he was shipped off and left Aaron so that didn't count-) could find out. He probably thought "of course he hates me. I'm unlovable, unlikeable. Just ask my mom and the bruises she causes me because she regrets ever taking me back."

The first thing Aaron probably hears come from his brother's mouth was likely not even directed at him. It was when his twin, who he thought hated him, steps in front of him and says "He's mine" in a snarl so ferocious it makes Tilda flinch back in surprise. The hits stop, and Andrew steals him alcohol and they get tipsy in their bedroom and talk but not really talk.

Then she dies, and he's in the hospital bed, and Aaron asks, "Did you kill her?" Andrew rips his heart from his chest without ever replying.

And then there's the bathroom. And no matter how much Aaron screams and screams and screams at the door, at the ever-present shadow outside it, to let him out, his brother doesn't. It's when he's finally silent that he's released and Andrew never acknowledges him again. Not through the trial and the drugs, not through the first few years of the free-ride of college, except for one time where Andrew makes him promise "No friends, no partners, just us" But it's not even us, is it? Aaron will think with a bleeding heart. But he's so desperate to cling to his brother he agrees.

He finds something good in college. The exy is a way to get a free ride up to medical school. He enjoys the sport- it lets him get his anger out and clears his head after a long night. He doesn't even mind the teammates, and Coach and Abby are nice. The latter even says she'll start teaching him some medical care. And there's a pretty cheerleader who he sneaks around with, despite his fear of Andrew leaving if he ever found out about her.

Something good.

Then the fucker from Millport fucks it all up.

At first, he finds the man irritating but uninteresting. A Kevin 2.0. Then his brother gets obsessed with him, and the idiot gets obsessed in return. And there's Seth and the Raven attacks and-

Then there's Drake. Oh God, he killed a man. Aaron thinks he'll forever see the caved in skull and the blood and be horrified by the sight, no matter the fact that the bastard deserved it. Andrew's shipped off to Easthaven. Neil comes back bloodied and tortured. Andrew comes back...numb. It's terrifying for Aaron. Soon after the red-head and his brother are spending mire time together, seen together more often. Hypocrite, he thinks jealousy as he begins to see what's happening.

Then the bastard forces him into therapy with his brother who looks like he's only doing it because the pretty red-head asks, not because he actually cares about their relationship.

Then there's Baltimore and Aaron is terrified that his brother will finally break. He sees it in the manic way his brother acts after he realises Neil is gone and fuck Aaron's willing to put up with Neil if it gets that look off his brother's face-

He's alive and he's somehow connected to THE Yakuza and Aaron thinks threat threat threat. He eggs him on at the mountain resort and his reaction dwindles that thought a little- a threat, but not to his brother. He'd kill for his brother. So will Aaron. He has already. He understands the red-head a little better.

Riko is killed and Aaron can think he's safe but he and his brother aren't even brothers and Andrew hates his girlfriend and and and-

The man never catches a break in the series. Not once. There's so. fucking. much. to him underneath the surface. And it makes me ache for him to have a happy ending. It's why I think all us Aaron-apologists love him. Because he's so much more human than the rest of us. I think there are many people who read the series and thought- him, I'm like him.

I don't have fic recs, I've read loads but I don't feel like recommending any because I'd like you to try and find your own and take the journey I did to understand this character and why I love him so so much. He never got a happy ending. It seems like he's the only one who didn't, not really. Allison, Dan and Renee got to see their team finally win. Kevin and Neil and, hell, even Jean Moreau got to find some peace. Andrew got a nothing and had begun healing from the shit he went through long before the end of the trilogy. Nicky has a hopeful future with Erik, and Matt has one as a pro-exy athlete with a gorgeous girlfriend. And Aaron? He got a team that barely likes him, a brother that he still thinks hates him and who doesn't even tolerate his girlfriend. Sure, he kind of has a future at med-school, right? Except we don't know how the trial goes and how it impacts his future job prospects.

Aaron barely gets any ending, let alone a happy one, and doesn't that make your heart hurt a little for him?

I made a similar post about Jerejean and got a LOT of good fic/art recs and opinions

So Aaron Minyard girlies

Why?

[heavyhitterheaux]

Cold Water Part 2

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: Here we gooooooo!!!

Synopsis: After learning that your best friend was keeping a very important secret from you, you keep your distance from him. Just like he asked. All hell then breaks loose when you finally cross paths. 

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Read Part 1 first

You were thankful that you were back on tour and it gave yourself somewhat of a distraction from everything else happening around you.

Your best friend in the entire universe was mad at you.

No, pissed at you was more correct.

You were hurt because he lied to you.

PG claimed that you would always act like a victim and would always cry when dealing with confrontation and basically it was your way or the highway.

What they didn't realize is why you were so protective of them.

When it came down to it, just like Megan said no one can get to them except through you and vice versa.

But especially Urban.

Urban was your right hand and because of your past, you swore that you would never let anything like that happen again to anyone you loved and cared about. 

But, he concluded that you had ruined every single relationship that he had been in.

That was enough for you to stay away.

You never meant to do that, but you wanted the best for your best friend.

You had nothing but pure intentions when it came to him.

It also didn't help that it seemed as if it was the First Lady versus the world as of lately.

Someone who you looked up to, Nicki Minaj had come for you out of left field and you were at a loss for words.

She was mad that her song got moved to the pop category for the grammy’s, but yours didn't.

How in the world was that your fault?

She also called you delusional and that you weren't talented.

Even though she reached out to you first to do a collab, but okay. You figured because she didn’t get what she wanted that she started to act out.

You never wanted to bring it to a public platform but she did first and you were going to defend yourself.

Her words definitely hurt you and cut like a knife.

You had the utmost respect for her, but not anymore.

You didn't understand why all of her anger was aimed at you when all you do is mind your own business. You wrote for yourself as well as for other people while vibing and having fun with your friends. What was wrong with that?

But she didn't have the best track record with other women rappers either.

Of course Jack and PG defended you and the fact that they are fans of her too, they were just as confused.

Jack knew how hurt you were by that especially when you always talked about her being one of your dream collabs.

Also, Kodak Black who was featured on your album 777 on Bussdown had a similar issue.

For the BET hip hop awards you got song of the year and of course he said you didn't deserve it and came for you.

He literally said that he couldn’t believe they picked frappuccino over him, referring to you.

You just didn't understand why everything was hitting you like a ton of bricks at one time.

You were finishing up your summer tour and everyone around you could tell you weren't your usual self.

It started with Urban and it simply trickled down from there. 

You felt bad for your cousin Nicole since she was brand new to your management team and she was trying her best to deal with the current dumpster fire.

You never meant for her to walk into this hot mess express, but she reassured you that it would be okay and not to worry.

It would eventually blow over. 

Currently you were laying on top of your husband in the back of your tour bus while scrolling through your phone. It was close to two in the morning, but you weren’t tired even though your body physically was.

Jack was doing his best to comfort you and support you, but he felt that the only thing or person rather who could fix this was Urban.

Jack being your husband could fix a lot of things, but sometimes, Urban was the person to do it. 

And at the moment, the two of you were ignoring each other and if something needed to be said it would be done through Jack.

Who felt that this was the most childish shit ever and he was tired of it.

"Baby girl?"

"Hmm?"

"Please don’t tell me you're on Twitter again."

"I just don't understand how she could say that to me or about me."

"Y/N, we all know you're talented. Anyone can see that. You're going to have haters, that comes with the territory. Only thing you can do is prove them wrong. So give me your phone because we're done scrolling." 

You complied and handed Jack your phone and he put it next to his. 

"She said I'm delusional." You muttered while looking down.

"I think she's the one who is. Baby, I know it's easier said than done but thinking about this over and over isn't good for your mental health."

"And then Kodak and then Urban! I… it seems as if the entire world is against me right now. And of course PG throwing me under the damn bus."

"Mamas, listen to me. You and Urban need to work this shit out because it's childish at this point. He's your best friend and both of you were wrong. As far as PG goes, they were being honest but could have gone about it in a different way. No one is telling you these things to hurt your feelings. We tell you because we care about you."

"I know… I just.. I know I keep going back to this and repeating myself but Urb lied to me. I can never think of a time where the thought about keeping something from him crossed my mind."

"Then tell him that."

"He doesn't want to talk to me."

"Look, you need to sleep. We'll deal with it later."

"I haven't slept well the past three weeks."

"I know, that's why I took your phone."

"I need a long ass vacation after all of this."

"We can go anywhere you want."

"I think I want you to London and Paris me."

"Say less."

You had just finished getting dressed in order to do your set when you got a small knock on the door. You opened it and was surprised to see Urban staring back at you. You kind of stared at him for a few moments not actually believing that he was there in front of you.

“Um, hi.” You said while looking up at him and he gave you a small smile.

“Hey, can we talk?”

“Sure.” 

You moved to the side to let him past you as you closed the door behind him to give the two of you some privacy.

The both of you sat down on couches opposite of each other waiting for someone to talk first.

“Look, Y/N, I want this to be over with. Can we just let it go and move on?”

“Urb, I’m willing to do that however, you need to understand how hurt I was about you not telling me the truth. Especially when everyone else knew. I would never do that to you.”

“But you see why I did it right?”

“You need to give me a little bit more credit.”

“How? We have all seen your track record. Come on, you know for a fact that if I had told you when I told everyone else that me and Yasmin probably wouldn’t even be together anymore.”

“Urban, come on. That isn’t true. I barely even know her. The other ones had plenty of red flags! I was protecting you!”

“Here we go. Okay, like I said before you can do that without hovering over me!”

“I don’t understand why you’re mad that I got rid of toxic people in your life who didn’t have your best interest!”

“I’m starting to think that you’re one of them!”

“WHAT?! URBAN! As much as I love and care about you?! I tell you that all the time!”

“I wanted to end this shit, but of course we’re right back to square one. So good luck with the rest of your tour. I’m out and don’t even bother calling me or texting me.”

“We’re not done with this!” You exclaim while getting up and trying to follow behind him as he made his way towards the door.

“Well I am so you can talk your feelings out to the wall behind you. Ten years obviously doesn’t mean shit, huh?”

“Urby, please.” You now had tears running down your face and knew that Julissa was going to be upset that she had to do your makeup again.

“I’ll see you whenever.”

Once Urban had closed the door behind him, you went to look in the mirror and dab at your face in the hopes of getting the tears to stop flowing.

You had been ready to move past this, you really were.

Him calling you toxic?

You made a mental note not to tell Jack because you were convinced that he would kill him. No matter if Urban was his best friend too.

You understood that Urban wanted to protect his relationship, but to go that low?

Looks like maybe you would only be able to call Saweetie your best friend from now on.

It was around eight in the morning when you and Jack had finally made it back home.

Your summer tour had been a success despite all of the drama that was happening behind the scenes.

You had bought Urban a couple of gifts and was hoping that he would accept them as a peace offering. You couldn’t wait to give them to him and took the steps two at a time with the multiple bags in your hand.

Jack was putting all of your bags in your shared bedroom while you went and talked to your best friend.

You knocked on his door and didn’t get an answer.

“Urby? Can I come in? I have something for you and I want to talk.”

No answer.

You slowly turned the knob and pushed the door open to find the bed empty and Urban’s things gone.

Now you were in a panic and made a beeline for your bedroom to find Jack putting things away in the closet.

Once he heard your footsteps, he turned around to see you in tears.

“What’s wrong? Baby, why are you crying?”

You simply shook your head before answering him.

“I don’t know where Urban is and all of his things are gone.”

“What do you mean?!”

“I just…. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Let me worry about it. You get ready to go out with Danielle.” Jack replied while leaning down to kiss your forehead.

You simply nodded and he was doing his best to wipe away the last of your tears.

He immediately called Urban once you were out of earshot.

At this point, Jack was fuming.

This needed to end and it needed to end now. 

“Urb!”

“Yes?”

"Yall need to let this shit go and move on because this is stressing everyone the fuck out."

"Maybe if your wife knew that the world doesn't fucking revolve around her we wouldn't be having this issue."

"Urb, are you fucking serious right now? All the shit that she has done for you? And she literally takes care of everyone else around her before she focuses on herself! We’re both like that!"

"Yeah I'm serious and I meant it when I told her to grow up."

"One thing you aren't about to do is show any sign of disrespect towards her. I don’t care how mad you are at her."

"It looks like you're just as delusional as she is since the two of you have your heads stuck so far up each other's asses."

"Are you hearing yourself right now?! What the actual fuck is your problem? You know she only wants the best for you and you find something wrong in that? One thing that I’m always about to do is defend my wife."

"Yeah I know. And leave your best friend out to dry. Look, I'll be back next week for the rest of my stuff. Fuck this shit."

Taglist:

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[owlarchimedes]

To the people who don't see a problem with Kevin and Thea: a lot of you like to claim that ppl that don't ship this don't see Kevin as bi, and argue that the fandom wants to see Kevin with another guy as opposed to a girl, like the popular KevinxJean or Kevaaron ship. And while I can't speak for everyone who dislikes Kevin and Thea, let me tell you why I hate this and Nora for doing this in the first place, and it has nothing to do with Thea's gender.

Firstly, their age gap. It's said in the books that these two met when Thea joined the ravens her freshman year, and since Kevin practically grew up at the nest(because cult), they met there. During the series, Kevin is a sophomore in college and Thea is a year graduated from Edgar Allen and is playing court. This means that when Thea was 18 and a freshman and college, that Kevin was 12 or 13. He was a LITERAL CHILD when they met, and she was an adult. That's called grooming, that's called statutory, that's called fucking gross and pedophilic.

Second of all, I don't think Kevin could ever date anyone from his past in order to fully heal and get past/through his trauma, meaning Thea or Jean (for those who ship that as well). He needs someone who is going to put him before exy so Kevin can learn to do that for himself, too. He needs someone who can pull his head out of his ass. This is why some people ship him with Aaron, for the above reasons. And Thea is simply not a person who could do that for Kevin.

And third of all, throughout the entire trilogy and all the crazy traumatic shit that happens to him and to his closest friends, he doesn't contact her ONCE. We see that Nicky calls Erik about the Drake situation, but Kevin doesn't do that with Thea. He didn't talk to her since breaking his hand. If you can't rely on your girlfriend for emotional support and instead rely on a five foot emo goalie with knives over your literal life partner, maybe reevaluate some things, buddy.

And I love Kevin. I am a Kevin defender a Kevin lover and will never forgive Andrew for the choking incident(it was so out of character like literally what the fuck Nora). And because I love Kevin, I'm saying our boy deserves better. Better like Aaron.

[the-plothole-court]

the foxes have an absolute field day trying to scare each other shitless.

neil would place fake spiders literally everywhere in the dorms and think it’s the funniest shit ever. in the beds, by the window sill, near matt’s toothbrush. one time, andrew catches neil leaving one in kevin’s locker when they’re at court and is about to say something until he sees the glorious smile on neils face and hears the incredible sound of neils quiet laughter. he blushes and internally curses neil when he realizes he can no longer form any words (245% josten).

i believe that the twinyards wouldn’t actually care enough to go out of their way to plan something out, but they still end up scaring all of the foxes (as well as wymack). this is because after every corner you turn, and every door you open, there will be one (if you’re lucky) five foot nothing gremlin just waiting for you on the other side. when it was both aaron and andrew, kevin may or may not have quite literally peed his pants.

also, when the twins start to get closer (as close as they can get), and only one other fox is in the dorm, they will (only once):

-put on the exact same outfit

-play the most horrifying music they can find

-dim all of the lights

-walk incredibly slow towards the victim

- slightly tilt their heads

-look dead into one of the foxes’ eyes, and simultaneously say “come play with us.” (my guess is that the fox is nicky because he will not say ANYTHING after andrew says to him “no one will ever believe you” in the flattest voice with the flattest look on his face after nicky fainted).

kevin spends his time hiding in closets (ha.) and waiting for people to open them. simple, yet effective. it never works on andrew, though.

nicky would just walk up to people with a blank look on his face, wait a few seconds, stare into the person’s eyes, and then proceed to let out the loudest scream you will ever hear in your entire life.

allison would just target kevin and either A. tell kevin that their upcoming exy game got cancelled or B. convince kevin that he got a major concussion and it will be a miracle if he can ever play exy again (this may or may not have trick kevin more than once)

renee likes to make her involvement in this a little less obvious. when talking to people, she will be her usual, smiling self. halfway through the conversation, she will just look behind the person she’s talking to with a look of horror on her face. she will stare at the same spot for a few seconds before turning back to them and smiling and continuing the conversation like nothing happened.

matt would airdrop the foxes the creepiest pictures he can find (i refuse to share what his search history looks like afterward). occasionally, he will add an even creepier message saying something along the lines of “i can see you” or “look out your window.” he also loves seeing their reactions because somehow, nobody knows that it’s him. one day, he decides to switch it up. he creates a fake article and anonymously sends it to neil. he watches as neil opens the article titled “Why People 5’3 And Under Are No Longer Eligible To Play Collegiate Exy.” matt laughs to himself, knowing how stupid and obviously fake the title sounds, but neil’s eyes widen more than what should be humanly possible as he stares at his phone. matt sees the look on his face, and immediately runs over to neil. he apologizes profusely and declares over and over again how neil is the love of his life and how he will never do this again.

dan would simply just individually text the foxes their name with a period at the end (ex: “matt.”) that’s all. nothing else. no matter how many texts or calls she gets after she sends it, she will ignore them and say nothing else. it is absolutely terrifying and it somehow works every time.

and if seth were alive, you bet your ass he would sneak up behind everyone and blow an air horn in their ears 24/7.

[isaacapatow]

There had been points along the way when Ike was sure that Nicki was merely one more in the type of girl he'd come across (and, not for nothing, been attractive to and attracted to in equal measure): the tough-talking, shit-spitting, fiery independent sort who'd put on a skimpy bra and storm through the street expecting if not demanding to be ogled and then sneering at the men who did exactly that. Ike found that kind of woman diverting for the most part, fun running partners and easy to get into sexy trouble with, but he didn't expect much from them. The kneejerk girls-rule-boys-drool rhetoric got tiresome before long, especially when they expected him to also dick them down because they were that irresistible. He didn't suffer for willing bed partners and he skipped out before the whole act got too insufferable.

But their time on the road had changed his mind about Nicki, bit by bit. Sure, they still bucked against each other, got into some rip-roaring arguments while they were still circling and sussing, but eventually Ike felt he could trust her to see him as a person. Not a walking talking cock on legs, some bad boy whose primary function was to give her something to roll her eyes and sass off at.

Slowly, he started to expect things from Nicki, as much as he told himself that was pointless. But when they found each other again in Redwood, when he'd made her one of his Raiders, Ike found all of that creeping up again, and he didn't stomp it back down the way he maybe should have. He let himself expect things from her. For her to think about him, for her to understand that self-preservation was something she should cultivate along with sheer survival, for her to see herself as part of a community, for her to not fling herself screeching for blood into the nearest fire at any given moment. For her to settle down and make a life as much as she could, like he was trying to do. With limited success, given her inherent nature.

As Nicki talked, though, sailing past Ike's own somewhat facetious interpretation of her remark and insisting that she saw the things about him that Ike felt straight down to his bones but could hardly ever find words to express, things that he tried to permeate his actions with but was never entirely certain he'd achieved, he went still. Hands curved against her but not massaging, for a moment, as Nicki told him he had -- of all the fucking things! -- a big heart. "Hey," Ike said gruffly, "watch it. I don't need that kind of rumour starting about me."

But he leaned over and kissed the closest available part of her, which happened to be her upper arm. "Okay," he said, gently, meeting Nicki's dark eyes and holding there for a moment, just so they'd both know he heard her. He got it. He just needed time to process, the same way she did whenever anybody told her something sincere and kind about herself.

Nicki told the story of her parents, their lives and deaths, simply and sweetly, the love evident alongside the loss. "Ah, shit. I'm sorry, kid." He rubbed her leg, then went back to working the muscles with his fingers, there and against her back. "It makes sense where you get your moxie." He mulled for a moment, then said, "I worked with a bunch of Dominicans in Yonkers, back in the day, and half of 'em came in from Wakefield. I dunno if that was your stomping grounds in the Bronx but, it's, y'know. Kinda crazy to think that I might have visited your folks' store at some point, huh?"

The way her lips curled into a smile as she laughed under her breath was so natural whenever she was around Ike. There was no slyness, no mischievousness or cheeky undertones to it. This was Nicki’s more honest, genuine smile that few people really got to see. Ike was one of the few lucky ones. “Well, you know I’m good for it,” she mused, her head rolling a little against the back of the couch as she took in Ike. Watching him work his fingers into her body with a tenderness and caring demeanor about him. This wasn’t the first time that they spent moments like this, tending to one another after raids went sideways and their injuries grounded them. Even if this time they were both stuck inside the walls for maybe longer than they both really wanted to be.

Or maybe that was just Nicki. Sticking around the town and being limited on her activities felt like a cage. Nicki was a wildcat, needing to be out to prowl and hunt. Not back home, licking her wounds. So the longer she sat in town, the more restless she got. Which she was sure was something Ike was very aware of. Perhaps that was why he was here, kneading her muscles. Trying to relax the tension that she knew she was feeling all over. The knots that were forming, though, gave way to his magic touch, though, and she felt how her blood seemed to flow more freely through her body and warm every other limb that she had been starved.

At first, she purred gently as he squeezed her knee and her relaxed smile took on one that of amusement. “I mean, yeah, but that’s not what I was getting at,” she spoke, although she paused to moan a bit as his fingers started to dance his fingers along her lower back. God, that felt so good. She savored the feeling for a moment, his fingers expertly distracting her from what she was going to say for the time being. But eventually it came back to her. “What I meant was you have that quality about you - taking care of others, watching out for them, guiding them. I see it every time we go out on a raid and even before Redwood. It was one of the things that actually annoyed me the most about you at first.” It was not a secret that they had butted heads a few times back when they rode together. But damn did it lead to some good sex. “You got a big heart, Papi. For Ember, for your raiders…You’re a dad in more ways than you realize.”

Very rarely, if ever, did Nicki speak from the heart like this. Only the people she really loved did she speak this honestly with. And she did love Ike. It was why she would always fight for him. Watch his back. Take the risks for him. She couldn’t lose him. She didn’t know if he really knew how much he meant to her but she liked to think he wasn’t oblivious about it. Or at least knew why she was the way she was for him and that nothing would ever change that.

“Ah, my parents,” she hummed playfully. Her eyes gleamed with fond memories, although they were quickly followed by the dark memory of how she lost them. “They were hard-working people. They moved us from the Dominican when I was four to try and give me a better life. Dad had his own little grocery store in the Bronx and Mom was a maid. Worked for those big rich fucks who were too high and mighty to clean after themselves. I basically grew up in that grocery store, working and cleaning, and when I wasn’t I was with my dad helping to restore Persephone. Or running from my mom. She was terrifying when she was mad. Any time I got in trouble I would try to hide, but I think that made her even more mad. She’s definitely where I get my fierce side from.” She hummed a short laugh as she thought about all those times she hid in Persephone’s trunk from her mom. “I was nineteen when they were killed. Someone tried to rob the store and my Dad reached for his shotgun. After he shot my dad my mom came in to give him dinner and he shot her too. I was at one of my races at the time. They were good people.”

[vindelllas]

the beauty of jyeshta 🐇🏹:

🐇 alexa demie: jyeshta surya

*TW// i do discuss a few triggering topics i.e. abuse and drugs. some of the jyeshta natives i exhibit and talk about are known for terrible behavior and scandals. i do not condone their offensive and ignorant behavior. they are simply being shown to solidify my opinions on the nature of this nakshatra*

as you read this post, please listen to this jyeshta playlist i made for the full experience: https://open.spotify.com/user/a95141rv0vjdg8lqcggilvcxm/playlist/3gzS9sXWs71yb2i9EiBhSY?si=xtP4mnRnR7ahXfN09KwiRw

🏹 they key to unearthing the energies of jyeshta lie in studying it’s associative deities. before we dive down the rabbit hole of the jyeshta nakshatra, let us understand the representative mahavidya of buddha. it is traditionally believed that the tantric goddess tripura sundari is associated with buddha. tripura sundari is also known as the goddess shodashi. the goddess shodashi is said to be the most beautiful in all three worlds. the goddess shodashi is also known as lalita and rajarajeshwari. lalita means “the one who plays” and rajarajeshwari means “queen of queens”. the tantric goddess tripura sundari is a form of mahalakshmi and, therefore, symbolizes wealth and abundance. according to tripura sundari’s dhyana mantra, her complexion radiates with the light of the rising sun. she emanates a rosy color which is representative of her joy, compassion, and illumination.

🌌 tripura sundari is depicted with four arms and holds five arrows of flowers (remember this number for later), a noose, a goad and sugarcane for the use of a bow. her holding a noose represents attachment, the goad represents repulsion, the sugarcane bow represents the mind, and the arrows are the five sense objects. in the sakta tantra, she is depicted as the supreme mother who uses the gods as her instruments of passion. with the aid of the instruments of passion, she presides over the creation, sustainability, and destruction of the universe—the three phases of life. she overlooks the layers of our shadow states, self-concealment and self-revelation, that lie in-between these three phases of life (bhoo, bhuva, and swa). self-concealment is the predisposition to actively conceal from others personal information that one perceives as distressing or negative. self-revelation revelation of one's own thoughts, feelings, and attitudes especially without deliberate intent.

🔥tripura sundari represents the state of awareness that is called “sadasivatattva”. this state of sadasivatattva is said to be based on the belief that “i am this” (aham idam). that, as we evolve through our cosmic destinies, we have an outward flow of consciousness, or pravritti. spiritual practice reverses our state of physical consciousness and cause us to revert to our true being. the action of coming back to our origin and finding attainment within, is a theme of jyeshta’s scorpio rashi itself, the sign of realization. it is the divine understanding that our experiences in this universe lie within the unity of consciousness itself.

🌳many believe that tripura sundari is the beauty that precedes the three worlds. that she is divinity in its infinite meanings, embodying the different aspects of the phenomenal world. tripura sundari is the beauty that we see in the world around us. she is the beauty we find in everywhere we look. modeling the captivating beauty of tripura sundari, jyeshtas naturally are externally perceived as beautiful beings who, solely with their appearances, draw the collective desires of hearts deep within. this is the essence of jyeshta’s features. they enshroud you with an abundance of beauty and over-stimulate your senses to near exhaustion. because jyeshta is symbolized by the jewel or earrings, they adorn their features with jewels and sparkling products to appear otherworldly. most notably, jyeshta natives seem to pay great attention to the forehead, neck, skin, and tongue (as buddha is said to rule these facial features). jyeshtas love to particularly adorn themselves in gold chains (i.e. jyeshta native nicki minaj and her extensive gold chain collection). remember that scorpio is co-ruled by ketu, which is remedied by brihaspati (who is remedied by gold). so the adornment of gold will be very prevalent and calming to these natives.

🐇 fka twigs: jyeshta chandra

👅another interesting characteristic of jyeshta is tongue piercings. because buddha rules the tongue and scorpio rules the blood, we see these natives naturally have quite a great deal of emphasis in their tongue area. they are inclined to/consider piercing their tongues. some examples of this are, willow smith (jyeshta shukra atmakaraka) who infamously got a tongue piercing at eleven-years-old. christina aguilera (jyeshta buddha atmakaraka) had a tongue piercing during her most notably “promiscuous” time frame in her career (aka her “dirrty” years). in the movie “thirteen”, evan rachel wood (jyeshta shani 1H) plays a young girl who gets her tongue pierced as a sign of rebellion. one thing you will notice about these jyeshta natives is that they are always under scrutiny for the changes they make to their body. however, the vimshottari buddha-ruled nakshatras embrace rebellion in the gandanta knot of deadly restriction. after all, mercury was named “the trickster” himself. this correlates back to the trickster archetype of poking out your tongue to make fun of another person. jyeshta natives most frequently pierce their tongues as a clap back to societal standards or parental authority. in this sense, they are quite literally sticking out their tongue for the purpose of mockery. these natives also prefer sticking out their tongues in photography. examine the common photos of jyeshta natives like princess nokia, nicki minaj, and rosalía (jyeshta lagna). you will notice they prefer to playfully stick out their tongue when around others. in the bible, it states “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (proverbs 18:21). meaning the tongue can either be used as a weapon to harm and destroy others or as a tool to build and heal. this is the common unraveling of jyeshta...

♏️ jyeshta lies in the final portion of scorpio. scorpio’s ruling planet is kuja, the mahavidya associated with kuja is bagalamukhi. bagalamukhi is commonly referred to as “the goddess who seizes the tongue”. once, a demon named madan undertook austerities and won the boon of vak siddhi. anything the demon said came to be true. the demon abused this power and killed many people. the gods were enraged by the demon’s wrongdoings, so they began to worship bagalamukhi to invoke her help. baglamukhi stopped the demon by taking hold of his tongue, which was the source of all mischief, and silenced his words. however, she did not kill the demon, because he asked to be worshipped with her and she agreed. this is why the demon is depicted with her. she is repeatedly portrayed with holding the demon’s tongue with a club in her other hand. by stopping the demon's tamasic tongue, she exercised her power over speech and her power to freeze, stun, or paralyze others.

🔪 bagalamukhi is also associated with magical powers, which can sometimes be referred to as siddhis, "accomplishments" or "perfections." among her epithets in her hymn of a thousand names are she who gives the eight siddhis. the invocation written around the edge of an amulet containing her yantra in the tantrasara states: "o bagalamukhi, please arrest the speech of wicked people, paralyze their faces, fix their tongues and destroy their intellect."

⚫️while jyeshtas are fond of displaying and emphasizing their tongues from a physical standpoint, this emphasis does not stop here. as you may have noticed, most of the jyeshtas featured in this thread have gotten into some serious scandals and allegations. for example, jyeshta natives like nicki minaj who married a s*xual abuser/predator, tyra banks (jyeshta surya) and her many blackface scandals, sabrina claudio who has said many offensive racial slurs, brigitte bardot who was known to be heavily racist and abusive to her child, naomi campbell who has been linked to epstein, etc.. their interviews and words are often misconstrued and taken to the extreme, as the public takes every word of their’s as the truth, much like madan (who had the power to speak things into existence). because every word these natives say is treated as the truth, they become either hindered or freed by this power. jyeshta’s have the ability to thrive in the dark abyss of scorpio and yield their words to sway the minds of others.

💎we see the public grasping jyeshtas by the tongue, much like the tantric goddess baglamukhi, and holding on to every word they say. valuing the belief that the powers of life and death lie within the words we speak. once the dark abyss consumes a jyeshta native and they no longer rely on the glamour of the tongue, we truly see how flawed and sorrowful their lives can be (despite their abundant beauty).

🐇 sabrina claudio: jyeshta chandra

💔 jyeshta means “the eldest" or "the elder". she is the goddess of inauspicious happenings and misfortune. as her sanskrit name suggests, she is regarded as the elder sister of lakshmi (the goddess of good fortune and beauty). unfortunately, jyeshta is frequently associated with sinning, laziness, poverty, sorrow, ugliness and the crow. because of her inauspiciousness and crow symbolism, she is sometimes associated with alakshmi. due to jyeshta representing the bad wife and lakshmi representing the good wife, jyeshta is often worshiped for women who wish to keep her away from their homes, as she is said to cause marital disturbances.

🌊 most astrologers agree that jyestha's birth took place during the churning of the cosmic ocean. she was said to be born when the poison, halala, flows from the ocean, while her sister, lakshmi, is born when the elixer of life emerges. symbolic of jyeshta being in the debilitation rashi of chandra, modeling the shadow state of the new moon. whereas, lakshmi is symbolic of the plump, elxir-like full moon that lies in the exaltation rashi of chandra: taurus.

🌀 based on the linga purana, vishnu divided the world into the good and the bad. he created lakshmi and jyestha, both born from the same origin of the cosmic ocean churning. lakshmi marries vishnu, but jyestha is married to the sage dussaha. dussaha soon discovers that his jyeshta (described as his “ugly wife”) cannot bear her senses being exposed to any auspicious things. he then complained to vishnu or the sage markendeya (depending on the version). vishnu (or markendeya) recommended he take jyestha only to inauspicious places. jyestha is told to stay away from religious people. it is at this point, jyeshta became described as the "one who is inauspicious". dussaha became tired of her anti-social nature and abandoned jyestha in a place where heretical rituals are performed. jyeshta then sought out vishnu for relief. vishnu decreed that jyestha would be sustained by offerings of women who wish to keep jyeshta’s presence from homes.

⚔️ like the goddess jyeshta, jyeshta natives spend life lost and surrounded by inauspicious people and environments. they stick out like the symbolic jewel they are, moving around from one place to another. while we see jyeshta natives being intrinsic and extremely self-focused and determined, much like the antisocial jyeshta goddess, they feel at home in their wanderlust lifestyle. as their nakshatra yoni is the hare, an animal who is always on the run and quick-footed. the hare is always prepared to run from dangerous environments, which they frequently find themselves entangled in. they can quickly become surrounded by harmful environments like drugs, unhealthy relationships, and demonic presences. for example, jim morrison (jyeshta surya) was infamous for his hard partying lifestyle, filled with fast money, sexual pursuits, and hard drugs, as the bunny always craves more stimulation. but jyeshtas know how to use their gifts, their charming words and beauty, to their total advantage. buddha is considered to be the quick, discriminating intellect. this is why buddha’s overruler is vishnu (“the maintainer”). vishnu maintained a source for jyeshta to channel and tried to solve her marital issues. buddha needs the sandpaper-like energy of vishnu to buff out and refine the rigid nature of buddha. with buddha’s intellectual mastery and scorpio being symbolic of the motivation and ability to work on ourselves and to help transform others, we see these natives eventually learning from the unfortunate circumstances of jyeshta and growing to surpass even the three worlds (like tripura sundari).

🐇 sevdaliza: jyeshta chandra

⛓because jyeshta is described as the “bad wife” and scorpio is associated with the dusthana house of obstacles (eighth house), we frequently see jyeshta natives personify their issues with love and self-perception in their songs. in the chorus of “girl like me” by alexa demie (jyeshta surya), she sings: i think i need a present, man. i’m just out here doin' the best i can. you think a girl like me gon' be single for long. your wrong. you think a girl like me gon' be trippin' for long. dead wrong. you think a girl like me, goddess like me, gon' be trippin', you'll see with a girl like me.”. demie’s song describes a woman who was once mistreated in her past relationships and learned to embody the natural goddess she is and not settle for the inadequacies of her past lovers. she learned from her sorrowful and toxic past relationships (like the goddess jyeshta) and recognized her worth (the evolved state of the eighth house). this is similar to the character alexa played in “euphoria”. she played a teen in a broken and abusive relationship who continuously kept perpetuating the cycle of inauspiciousness and eventually learned to step back and realize the amount of harm she has experienced. in the song, “ego death” (starring skrillex, possibly jyeshta chandra) we hear fka twigs (jyeshta chandra) sing: i let my ego down and then I rise back up. i let my ego down and then I'll be stronger. i’m armed, to let a sucker step up and get bombed. by a beat created by my producer, i am losin' my mind 'cause your heart's so blind. when you left me outside, i’d be losin' my mind. i am losin' my mind 'cause your heart's so blind. when you left me outside, i'd be losin' my mind. it’s gonna cost you to be great. you will have to sacrifice something to be great.”. again, we see the jyeshta native falling into the cycle of mistreatment and harm and learning her worth. she eventually grasps the concept of sacrifice and realization. she thrusts herself into the purifying abyss of scorpio and hopes to never turn back. recently, fka twigs came forward and discussed the abuse she faced at the hands of her ex partner. in a recent interview with “elle”, fka twigs strongly told her story to the reporter and spoke with passion and truth. in the song “human” by sevdaliza (jyeshta chandra), she sings “been in and out. and in front of my judgmental eyes, my precious disguise. business so cold. can’t cope with my own. how to not fail.”. in the entire song, sevdaliza realizes the cold disguise she once possessed, only to peel back the layers to find a mere human. a flawed being predestined for a life of more flaws. she finds artful peace in knowing this. in the music video for “human”, she is depicted as a temptress who lures men. she embodies the conscious choice of mastering buddha’s trickery. instead of breaking away from the cycle, sevdaliza finds enjoyment in inauspiciousness. this correlates to the dull state of the new moon.

☂ the umbrella is said to represent jyeshta. it is reflective of jyeshta’s state of reflecting what other’s project onto them. the full moon is associated with receptivity and harnessing light/energy. scorpio is the debilitation of chandra, as is cancer is the debilitation of kuja, because the energies of kuja and chandra oppose each other. kuja is rigid, hard, powerful, and tamasic. chandra is fluid, malleable, inward, and auspicious. with scorpio’s kuja rulership, we see jyeshtas acting cold and distant when they become used to harmful environments and develop the coping mechanism of allowing other’s energies to bounce off of them, much like how an umbrella protects you from the rain. rain is also symbolic of nourishment and bountiful energy, as it nourishes all the beings on this planet. this is why water is linked to feminine energy. in scorpio, a water sign, we see kuja blocking the receptivity associated with water and jyeshta bestowing this receptivity when it’s time. only when the jyeshta native distances themselves from a life of strife and never-ending cycles of abuse, may they learn to close their figurative umbrella and swim in the rain of multiple emotions and influences. an example of the symbolism of the umbrella is elle driver (played by jyeshta native daryl hannah) in “kill bill”. as she walks down the hospital hallway to kill the bride, she is adorned in a nurse costume and has an unopened red umbrella in her hand. the unopened umbrella represents her allowing the floodgates of outer influences to open. she no longer cares about her perception and is shown in her rawest form. she is no longer the illusionary and illusive character who hides in scorpio’s mystery. she is now revealed to be an evil cut throat being. the umbrella’s red color is symbolic of kuja and denotes her revealing her true tamasic nature and her carrying the collective blood of her enemies.

🐇 nicki minaj: jyeshta surya

🌩 the deity who rules the jyeshta nakshatra is indra. he is the deity of lightning, thunder, and rain. he is considered to be the king of all gods and heaven. indra rules the sky and and wields the power of rain as his weapon. he is also considered to be the god of battle. prior to each of his battles, he drank a vast amounts of soma. soma is a divine juice that strengthens him to accomplish his deeds in combat. it is he who defeated the serpent vritra who had swallowed all the waters of the world spurring a tumultuous drought. indra split the belly of the serpent with his thunderbolt, releasing the waters and generating life. by killing the serpent, indra separated land from ocean, and caused the sun to rise (this act of land separation is comparable to the god zeus and the christian god). indra slicing the belly of the serpent, recalls how jyeshtas must retire their umbrella to generate life in their lives. however, there is another item they will find to be particularly important during their journey in this lifetime.

🧿 every jyeshta i have ever met holds at least some significance for a form of the talisman. this is because jyeshta is also symbolized by the talisman/evil eye. this all correlates to jyeshta being the cosmic jewel, the shiny emerald who captivates their truest beauty. it’s green color honors the symbolism of buddha and is reminiscent of the blue or green evil eye. the concept of the evil eye exists in many cultures from hinduism to islam to turkey.

🔮 the overall concept of the talisman is called "apotropaic" (which is greek for "turns away"). talismans are believed to turn away or turn back harm, like an umbrella, bouncing off the influencing waters. disks or balls, consisting of concentric blue and white circles are generally representative of the evil eye in common talismans in west asia. however, this emblem is most commonly found in turkish cultures. this blue or green eye can also be found on some forms of the hamsa hand (which is also known to ward the evil eye of others). The word hamsa, also spelled as khamsa and hamesh, means "five" which refers to the fingers of the hand.

🤚🏽 in jewish culture, the hamsa is called the hand of miriam/mary and, in some muslim cultures, the “the hand of fatima” (fatima being the daughter of the prophet muhammad). it is primarily the muslims in the near east and mediterranean regions that believe envious looks can contain destructive power. the talismanic power of the nazar defends against this destructive energy. this is why the pure virgin mary or fatima is said to ward off these negative influences, recalling baglamukhi who was called to aid the other deities in the slaying of the demon.

🥚 the evil eye also heavily exists in hispanic and latinx cultures. it is referred to as the 'mal de ojo' and it is very prevalent in spanish culture throughout history. in most of mexico and central america, infants are considered at special risk for the mal de ojo and are often given an amulet bracelet as protection. this amulet bracelet typically contains an eye-like dot painted on the amulet. to also ward against the mal de ojo, it is customary to allow admirers to touch the infant or child. one popular traditional cure in my old hometown and in parts of central or south america involves a curandero (otherwise known as a folk healer). the curandero sweeps a raw chicken egg over the body of a victim to absorb the power of the person with the evil eye. once this is finished, the egg is later broken into a glass with water and placed under the bed of the patient near the head. it is usually checked immediately to see if the broken egg appears cooked. if this happens, it means that the patient did have the mal de ojo. after this ritual is completed, any pains or sickness from the mal de ojo is ceased. the concept of the egg is also closely linked to the bunny (jyeshta’s yoni) in some european cultures. most notably, the easter bunny.

🐰 easter is a religious holiday, but a great deal of its american customs are linked to pagan traditions. the egg itself is an ancient symbol of new life/re-birth. it has been associated with pagan festivals celebrating spring. many christians view easter eggs as a representation of jesus’ emergence from the tomb and resurrection. in orthodox christianity, it is traditional to have ‘the octave of easter’, essentially an eight day celebration of easter. during this celebration, the surya usually moves from revati (the final nakshatra) to ashwini (the first nakshatra). before i continue any further, i am not the first one to find this correlation, i believe the lovely @/shravishtamoo and @/365chimera were the first to talk about this on twitter. out of respect for not taking credit for their work, i will only lightly graze over this topic and solely share my opinion on this.

🌸 revati is under the vimshottari dasha rulership of buddha and the aries rashi of ashwini is ruled by kuja. kuja is overruled by bhumi, the cosmic mother or earth goddess. bhumi is usually depicted with four arms, holding a pomegranate, a water vessel, a bowl containing healing herbs, and another bowl containing vegetables. she is sometimes depicted with two hands, the right hand holding a blue lotus known as kumuda or utpala, the night lotus, while the left hand may be in the abhayamudra, this is a pose meant to mimic the tail of a horse. bhumi is symbolic of the cosmic flourishment. her pomegranate, healing herbs, and water vessel are symbolic of the fruitful tides and nature of the cosmic mother. much like how easter is linked to the pagan festival/celebration of the spring equinox (the day the surya enters into tropical aries). ashwini is the birth of the nakshatras, but bharani is considered to be the cosmic yoni. bhumi’s stance represents the horse ashwini and the cosmic egg. as bharani represents inward fertility, like the ripe pomegranate and cooling, feminine waters of the yoni. whereas, jyeshta, who is also ruled by kuja (rashi-wise), models this seemingly fertile abundance on the surface. like how the octave of easter combines the energy of buddha and kuja, we see this internal need to ascend their constant negativity, like how jesus died and arose from the death. jesus was betrayed and beaten brutally, similar to how many jyeshtas will find themselves continuously hurt by others. i understand this may sound redundant but look at the jyeshta goddess, baglamukhi, indra, tripura sundari, the octave of easter, and bhumi. they all required ascension, forgiveness or rebirth, which are necessary when such a tamasic planet like kuja and poltergeist-like spirit of buddha operate in their shadow state.

even bunny-like formations have been known to pop up on the planet mars itself: https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/mars/images/odyssey-image_feature_295.html

🐇 naomi campbell: jyeshta chandra

5️⃣ the number 5 is very important and reoccurring in the lives of jyeshta natives. the number five is said to be representative of buddha. as you have read through this post, you will notice the number five has reoccurred constantly. such as, tripura sundari’s five bows, the five-finger hamsa symbol, jyeshta natives like mick jagger and jay-z who are both life path 5s, and even some of the jyeshta names i have included in this thread total to the number five (such as, nicki/onika = 5 and tyra lynne banks = 14 = 1+4 = 5). because this number is symbolic of buddha, this number is said to denote intelligence, constant changes, and business success. however, the number five primarily shows a free-spirited and lucky nature. this is why the number sequence of five is said to be incredibly auspicious. i would like to focus on the fifth book of the bible: deuteronomy, a book filled with rebellion and imposing laws. a quote i think particularly describes jyeshta is deuteronomy 28-14: “If you fully obey the lord your god and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the lord your god will set you high above all the nations on earth. all these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the lord your god: you will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country. the fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock – the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks. your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed. you will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out. the lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. they will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven. the lord will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. the lord your god will bless you in the land he is giving you. the lord will establish you as his holy people, as he promised you on oath, if you keep the commands of the lord your god and walk in his ways. then all the peoples on earth will see that you are called by the name of the lord, and they will fear you. the lord will grant you abundant prosperity – in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground – in the land he swore to your forefathers to give you. the lord will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. you will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. the lord will make you the head, not the tail. if you pay attention to the commands of the lord your god that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. do not turn aside from any of the commands i give you today, to the right or to the left, following other gods and serving them.”. essentially, if you follow the teachings of your deity (operating in your light state), you will reap the bountiful crops of spiritual abundance and find freedom within (the theme of 5 in vedic teachings). the outer influences of others will no longer affect your inner being. jyeshta becomes the flowing waters of indra and bhumi, abundant in the freedom these natives onced crave. while jyeshtas appear to have an abundance of freedom, as they continuously bounce from one situation to another, it is insincere if they do not learn how to alter their surroundings, set boundaries, and learn to love again, reminiscent of the number four.

4️⃣ another number jyeshtas see quite frequently is the number four. the number four is said to be ruled by rahu, the head of the serpent god. recall in the aforementioned bible quote, “the lord will make you the head, not the tail”. this is the essence of the number four. it symbolizes the need for/ability of staying grounded, stability, worldly achievements, and secrecy. buddha was said to be one of the only deities to tame rahu. when a number of the nature of four occurs in a jyeshta’s life, it means the native must learn to tame their inner being and focus on staying grounded and not share their accomplishments with others. as discussed previously, buddha-ruled natives struggle with the immense power of their tongues. because they are able to have their words believed by the masses, if they say they will do something and it does not happen it brings a great deal of distrust around them. the art of secrecy is said to be something rahu thrives in, due to his natural illusionary background. embracing the illusion will help them ward the evil eye, with or without an amulet or talisman. if these natives do not share their plans or accomplishments, others cannot impose their hatred or jealousy against that native.

9️⃣ it is interesting to note that once the number of freedom (5) and secrecy/achievements (4) come together, they make 9. nine is the number representative of kuja. nine denotes strength, leadership, knowledge, and fire. it is a number described as “a man who walks with the torch of intelligence [buddha], in a road full of blood stains [kuja], not seeing the snake below his feet [rahu].”. modeling the fiery and strong spirit of indra, slaying great beasts in battle, much like how the owl is one of the only animals to beat the snake into submission (rahu).

🐇 mädchen amick: jyeshta surya

🦉 recall from the earlier paragraphs, jyeshta is considered to be linked to the goddess lakshmi (the sister of jysheta’s comparative goddess: alakshmi). lakshmi is depicted as sitting on an owl. this owl is why jyeshta is associated with the supernatural owl. owls are said to symbolize knowledge, wisdom, and dread. the owl is also closely linked to the dawn of death and misery. the differences of the spiritual associations of the owl is symbolic of the axis of jyeshta/alakshmi and lakshmi. due to their rare and majestic nature, many cultural myths associate owls with the presence of a higher being, such as guardians, spiritual guides, and vahanas. their ominous hoot is an anamnesis of being lost in a dark forest reeking of danger and the scent of pine. the owl may either be your beacon of light, carrying the auspicious powers of lakshmi into your life, or bringing detrimental, loss and death to your dearest beloved.

🐦 the name of lakshmi’s vahana owl is known as uluka. uluka is considered to be another name for lord indra (the deity ruling jyeshta). the combination of the goddess of wealth (lakshmi) and the king of heaven (indra) personifies the auspicious, wealthy, and powerful spirit linked to the owl. because the owl dwells in the night, it is also a symbol of the darkness of ignorance (avidya). the owl’s aversion towards the daytime is indicative of turning away from the solar path to embrace the feminine forestry of the night. the is why lakshmi is said to guide one to open the eyes to the light of wisdom residing within themselves. she is said to guide you to the goddess saraswati, who is said to rule our knowledge, alphabet, and the tongue (recall jyeshtas penchant for the tongue). uluka becomes lakshmi’s vahana when she blesses wealth and prosperity. the owl asks of lakshmi’s devotees to not be trapped by the illusions of wealth (444), warning against the dangers of arrogance and stressing discipline. when her wealth is used by humans for inauspicious activities, one is said to be blinded, like owl who can longer tolerate the bright rays of surya. it is then uluka embraces the antithesis of the axis and becomes a bird of ill omen flying the goddess of alakshmi around to your door-step, bringing darkness, disgrace, inauspiciousness and misfortune.

🏔 the show “twin peaks” is heavily influenced by the jyeshta nakshatra, as approximately 25% of it’s cast and four directors have prominent jyeshta placements (surya, chandra, lagna, or atmakarala). it centers around a small logging town filled with murder. in this show, nothing is as it seems, intuition is valued, and your dreams guide you. a common phrase in the show is: “the owls are not what they seem”. in the show, there appears to be two paranormal realms, the black lodge and the white lodge. these realms correlate to the lodge spirits, who are unable have physical bodies. because of this, they are limited in the ways they can travel outside the lodges and usually require a host/vessel. while other spirits exist in various mediums, like wood, electricity, and running water.

⛰ the owls are said to be a physical medium of the watchful eyes of the lodge spirits. the owls are theorized to control the entire narrative of the story, invoking harm or bliss. they serve as a barrier and channel between the illusionary twin peaks and the deeply uneasy spiritual lodge realms. in the show, they literally serve as a mask to cover the face of a harmful spirit. thus, the owls are not what they seem. they may channel the deity they please and bring the essence of lakshmi or alakshmi to your door.

♟the owls are reminiscent of the nature of scorpio. scorpio is representative of the eighth house of the zodiac. with kuja being it’s rashi lord, we see a strong amount of strength, energy, achievements and inheritance in the lives of these natives. because scorpio is the watery dusthana, they have a strong intuitive nature when they let their guard down. in twin peaks, you will see many characters try to appear strong when, in reality, they are some of the weakest and sensitive characters in the whole show. an example of this is shelly (played by jyeshta native mädchen amick). shelly married an abusive man who expected her to only do domestic chores and be subservient. she tries to appear fine and cover the bruises to protect her other lover, but quickly her illusion is shattered. she becomes lost and scared, only to regain her confidence via her other partner. another possible jyeshta co-star, kimmy robertson (who played lucy), struggles with handling her romantic endeavors and is quite stubborn. once she feels she has met the right partner, her stubborn nature corrodes like a boulder chipping away from a cliff, only to reveal a sweet, pleasant waterfall of love. due to the scorpio rashi’s strong intuition, they generally have fixed ideas and tend to relentlessly follow them out of faith in their perception of the unknown. the deputy chief (played by jyeshta buddha atmakaraka native michael horse) is known for following his intuition and, due to this, he eventually ends up saving the lives of many others. scorpios also tend to value a small, close-knit friend group. we see the small town of twin peaks frequently coming together to help each other in need.

🌟 the eighth house is associated with the unveiling of deep secrets. this is why scorpios feel the immense need to get to the state of raw purity (the cosmic egg) to examine the situation in it’s purest form. throughout the entire series, mysteries are repeatedly being discovered and solved. however, these mysteries do not solely require the analytical mind. they also require the help and guidance of outside and unexplainable sources. in order to solve these mysteries, you must channel the nature of the owl to evaluate both sides. the eighth house/scorpio is also said to rule the genitals, whereas, kuja is said to heavily influence the sexual organs. in the entire show, sexual pursuits, pr*stitution, and kundalini energy is rampant. sexual energy abundance and accumulation is the cause of adoration. this is why we see jyeshta natives, like the fictional character holli would, nicki minaj, or fka twigs, exciting the sexual passion within others and enticing the masses with their trickster nature. you will often notice many jyeshta (and other buddha/kuja natives) natives create a great deal of sexualized content to express their untamable and playful skill. they embody indra in combat and wield their bodies like a cosmic sword, exciting the virility in others with their sharp nature. however, jyeshta natives do not care for pleasing the average partner, they wish to dominate them with their seemingly submissive nature. they thrive in an environment of underestimation and want you to assume they are a surreal illusion. much like the ashlesha nakshatra, jyeshtas are either tamed or dominated, but—more frequently—they are the one’s to dominate, as many people do not know to handle such icy, hot energy and are simply in mere awe of their beauty. this issue with knowing how to work along with jyeshtas and rise to their level is something many people struggle with. instead of wishing to see the jyeshta flourish and glow with passion, they will try to drag them down to their own low vibrational level, reminding jyeshtas of their original gandanta point of sorrow.

🐇 princess nokia: jyeshta chandra

💧water and, thus, the color blue holds great power in the lives of jyeshta. the jyeshta goddess herself was adorned with blue-black garments and is said to hold a blue lotus in her right hand. the color blue is said to be associated with shani and the lotus is representative of the vimshottari evolution of shani. the many shades of blue are reminiscent of the azure of a clear sky. shani is the planet of hard work, determination, and respect. if you honor shani, you will likely be at the zenith of life. shani is debilitated in the bharani nakshatra (representative of the famale yoni). bhumi is said to mount the elephant and jyeshta’s nature is often compared to the elephant (the yoni of bharani). we see water personifying their internal struggle of diligence and sexuality. the element of water itself flows and crashes with it’s feminine luster. it denotes cleansing, rebirth, and vital energy. the practice of swimming and watery movement is said to excite the feminine spirit and remove all negative energies that encompass the individual. think of how you take a refreshing bath or wash your face. the act of cleansing and the alignment with the water element is energizing and refreshing. recall the christian practice of baptism. baptism is said to be a christian rite of admission. it uses the rejuvenating power of sprinkling, pouring, or entrenching the devotee with water to wash away their sins. this behavior parallels to the churning of the cosmic ocean to produce the elixir of youth, as christians believe baptism saves the youth/innocence of your soul.

🌿 jyeshtas are often forced to grow up quite early in their lives. the often harsh and toxic environments they are surrounded by do not yield a balanced and cleansed individual. it is destined for them to put on a mask or illusion cope with this (recall the demonic spirit who used the owl mask in “twin peaks”). it allows them to feel protected, as how harnessing their sexuality brings them great power. but deep down, they are innocent and youthful spirits. paralleling the goddesses jyeshta and alakshmi who lived lives of great strife but had a kind soul. their aversions to auspiciousness is something they could not control. it was their destiny. the life of jyeshtas are said to be incredibly karmic and destined. they cannot control the terrible and harsh energies of those who may come and go in their lives, but they can choose to walk through the smoky abyss or deep, cleansing waters to see if there is light on the other side of life.

🐇 brigitte bardot (left): jyeshta lagna

🐇 jane birkin (right): jyeshta surya

🚬 it is not uncommon to see jyeshta natives enjoying a good cigarette or cigar. as i once discussed in my magha exploration, natives of the gandanta points enjoy the symbolism and release smoke brings. this is because gandanta points are where the water and fire elements meet and cross. water is symbolic of the divine feminine (4H, 8H, 12H) and fire is symbolic of the divine masculine (1H, 5H, 9H). these elements are complete opposites. when water and fire collide, the water subdues the fire and we are only left with smoke. in the song “smoke on water” by deep purple (who has five members with prominent jyeshta placements), we see the nature of this smoky elemental intermingling under the co-rulership of ketu. the promiscuity of water and purification of fire combines and forms the infinite knot. ketu is the south node, representing our past lives and karma. whereas, buddha is the planet of awakening the discriminating intellect between benefic and malefic actions, essentially good and evil. the harsh, polar forces of water and fire (rashi elements) coupled with past lives and karma (ketu) and knowledge (buddha), create this need for escapism. the need for stimulation to calm the ever-present sense of anxiety or physical ailments gandanta natives are prone to. the use of cigars, cigarettes, or cylinder-shaped products of other smoky varieties (🌿) as a way to ease their anxious nature. as the dusthana houses are uneasy, ketu is unstable, and buddha plays tricks on the mind.

🌫 the cylinder shape of these smoky, stress-relieving products is symbolic of yang energy (the phallus). while this may sound odd, the intoxicating (yin) energy of tobacco and the yang shape of these products creates the perfect balance of water and fire to attract these natives. this is reminiscent of the nineveh cylinder. this cylinder is designed to be a message to the universal one and directs the eyes are set upon it. it is only the eyes that contain an energetic consciousness who will be able to understand the cylinder’s message. you must be able to feel and think to be integrated into the powers of the cylinder and hence the have the power to ascend. one’s energetic signature then changes and only then may the individual have the ability to receive it’s messages or symbols. this acts as a cosmic safety valve to prevent the duality of the lower dimensional worlds from contaminating the higher dimensions that reside in cosmic unity (indra). it represents achieving the human ability to go within your self and untie the knot/noose of tripura sundari within to balance one’s intention, focus and willpower. the symbol of latter is an upward or downward pointed triangle. this triangular figure is symbolic of completion, the three worlds tripura sundari transcends. the journey for jyeshtas is long and hard, filled with fire and water, smoke and mirrors, and lightness and darkness. the cylinder of nineveh invites jyeshtas to walk through the smoky abyss, through the yang passage of the cylinder to untie their inner knot of restriction to be finally free from the harsh realities of this world.

🐇 ‘holli would’ as played by jyeshta surya kim basinger in “cool world”

💋 as always, i am open to any constructive criticism! i tried to touch on the deities’ involvement in the appearances, manifestations, and symbolism of jyeshta. to be quite frank, studying the story of jyeshta brought me to tears. it’s unfair the amount of harm and difficulty they experience in their lifetimes, but their determination and wit pulls them through. studying these many deities, symbolism, cultures, and religions for this post has been so honoring and humbling. as i was making this post, a bunny approached my window and i do not live in an area where rabbits are common. i just thought that was a lovely sign, i’d be a fool to think this is merely a coincidence. if you are looking for more information about jyeshta, get to know the overrulers and supreme deities of kuja, bhumi (the earth goddess) and skanda (the war god), and buddha, vishnu (the maintainer) and narayana (the cosmic person). also—and i cannot stress this enough—familiarize yourself with the deity of this nakshatra: indra. if any of my placements or information are incorrect please feel free to let me know! also, i am fully aware of the origins of vedic astrology and if i was in anyway disrespectful to hindu culture, i will take down this post immediately. i am incredibly honored to know such lovely vedic astrology enthusiasts. you all mean so much to me xx

**all of these placements were found using astrotheme/.com and/or astro-charts/.com. it is important to note that some chandra (moon) placements may be off by up to 6 degrees and lagnas (risings) as well, due to the fact that many websites do not have 100% accurate birth times for the given celebrities.

**i take absolutely no credit for the invention of vedic astrology-based appearance profiles. please watch claire nakti on youtube or look into @/cn0bles, @/lovejustlied, @/dh4nishta, and @/vanillemercure on twitter for more in-depth analysis on vedic astrology xx

[everkait]

about nick clark and troy otto

just to get this clear, i love troy and i love nick. i love them both individually but i also love them together and i love this really weird thing that they have going on between them. be it a friendship or whatever, i love it. they had so much potential together and i still can't believe they killed troy just like that.

in the beginning they disliked each other. nick may have even hated troy because of what he did to luciana and that's okay, he had every right to. i think troy disliked nick because he wasn't with his family and for troy the ranch and his family were everything for him. so the thought that nick had left his family on his own volition was very alien to troy. it's not something he would've ever done so he judged and disliked nick because of it and didn't want him on the ranch.

but even though nick heavily disliked troy, he didn't kill him. he had two chances to do so and in the second situation he could've actually gotten away with it but he still didn't kill troy. and troy wasn't even mad at nick for threatening him. he just took it in stride like it was a normal tuesday, he even encouraged nick to do it and later on said that they now could be friends after nick destroyed his notebook. i think that was some kind of turning point for both of them but more so for troy. he didn't necessarily start to like nick after that but his opinion about him wasn't as negative as it was before. nick on the other hand started to tolerate troy a little more after that. he still probably disliked him and thought he was rather dangerous but he wasn't as averse to him as before.

then luciana left and nick stayed. shortly afterwards nick and troy have this little talk down in the pantry and troy tells nick "it's just good you didn't take off after her", and i really loved it when he said that. i think he was being genuine and it shows that he has come to accept nick as part of the community. he doesn't necessarily like him but he accepts him. nick on the other hand is still a little defensive and wary of troy. it shows at the end of the episode when madison tells everyone that walker killed the trimbols and nick confronts her afterwards and tells her not to forget what troy is.

in the next episode while alicia is with walker, nick joins the militia. troy asks nick if he's got permission from madison which shows that he still doesn't really like nick. he accepts him but doesn't seem to want to be around him more than he has to. nick later tells madison that part of the reason he joined the militia is to keep troy, an enemy, close, although madison doesn't completely believe him. later in the episode comes one of my favourite scenes when troy asks nick "you feeling blue, nicky?", he then tells nick to "go kamikaze another day", which to me shows that he genuinely doesn't want nick dead. i don't particularly know why he didn't want nick to die at that moment but i don't think it was for madison's sake as he couldn't have cared less for nick at the beginning even though he is madison's son, whom he seemed to like almost instantly.

nick and troy are now in the militia together and do some bonding, like the poet talk or when they share their experiences and feelings about their father's deaths. around that time somewhere was a turning point for nick when he realized that he didn't actually want troy to die or maybe started caring for him in some capacity. he actually contemplated telling troy that he was the one that killed jeremiah even though madison thinks that troy would kill him for that but nick's not so sure. then comes the highlight of the episode when troy refuses to give up his weapons and nick actually stays back with him. he could've gone out with the others but he stays inside with troy because he wants to. he chooses to do so. because he knows troy, he knows that this will end bloody but he doesn't want that, he doesn't want troy to die. he himself even almost dies because of it when crazy dog gets the drop on him but troy is there and saves him although he gets hurt in the process. he doesn't want nick to die either which we already saw as he didn't want to shoot nick when he was standing between him and the rest and asked him to get out of the way. although troy doesn't want nick dead he still doesn't seem to have realized that nick cares about him as he asks nick why he would care what happens to him. furthermore it comes as a surprise to troy that nick stays with him and he tells him as much but also thanks him for keeping him company. nick then tries everything to get troy to back off, he even tells troy that he doesn't want him to die but troy doesn't listen. only when he confesses that jeremiah didn't commit suicide but that he actually killed him troy finally backs off. and he doesn't seem to be angry at nick.

i think that for troy the thought that his dad would commit suicide and leave them all behind was unbearable. he just couldn't accept it and that's why hearing nick's confession was such a relief for him and made him stop. doesn't matter that nick killed him because he at least didn't kill himself as that's not something that jeremiah would ever do and it's also not something that troy can live with.

now that troy knows that nick killed jeremiah i think he starts to see him in a new light. he later accuses madison for not being the one to kill his father but to let her son do the job and feels like she wronged him somehow by not killing his father. he thought she was like him but now he's not so sure about her anymore and seems to divert his attention even more towards nick. also something worth mentioning is that other than at the beginning troy never tried to kill nick again while he did contemplate killing madison after her cruel words about his mother.

up next comes something that i really can't wrap my head around, which is nick's hallucination of troy. how did his subconscious come up with troy of all people? why did he hallucinate that troy saved him? why? i don't understand. i love the hallucination and i love the fact that he hallucinated troy but i still don't really get why. maybe it's supposed to show us that nick feels safe around troy or that he trusts that troy would save him if he had the chance?

troy's now gone from the ranch but nick still seems to worry about him and alicia calls him out on it. she tells him that he doesn't owe troy anything but likes him and nick never refutes that. alicia also says that they "share the same self-destruction", to which nick replies "maybe i'm as sick as he is", and i love that. he admits that he thinks they might be similar and for me this whole talk just again proves that nick really does care about troy. what makes the whole talk even better is that not even five minutes later troy shows up at nick's to warn him from the horde. he was exiled but he sneaks back in just to warn nick of something that he himself is responsible for. he still doesn't seem to believe that nick cares about him though because when nick says, "it's good you're alive", he answers with "i don't think you believe that". and that's just sad. that after everything nick's done for him troy still can't believe that nick cares about him. what i also love is when troy says, "but you saved me in your own way", and that he'd like to return the favour. i'm not entirely sure what troy means here though. does he mean that nick stopped him from going kamikaze and saved his life or does he mean something different? if he'd simply told nick that nick saved him then i'd have an easier time believing it but he also says "in your own way", and i can't wrap my head around that. it just feels like he means something else with that than just nick saving his life.

another thing about their nightly talk that i love is that nick doesn't even think to rat troy out, not for a second. he says he can hide him or he has to sneak out, these are the only options.

the next day nick and jake then go out together to search for troy and find out what he meant with his warning. on the road jake's intentions regarding his brother are made clear when he takes out his gun and tells nick the story about the rabbit. when they finally reach troy nick again tries to talk him down but to no avail. troy doesn't plan on surviving this one and nothing nick could say can change that. jake then finally attacks troy and nearly kills him but is stopped by nick which results in jake's death. again, nick stands by troy and doesn't want him to die. even though troy just led the horde towards the ranch and literally destroyed everything that they had built there and nick knows it. but he still can't give up on troy and jake has to pay for it.

almost everything troy does from now on in my opinion he does for nick. nick wants him to help save the ranch so troy helps him. not because he wants to or cares about anyone there but because nick wants him to help. so he does. and those couple scenes really are everything. troy has fun doing what he does and nick has fun too. they're both being crazy together and they are loving it. when they are saved by madison, strand and walker nick covers for troy and lies about the horde. he knows that if he'd tell what had really happened someone would snap and troy would most likely end up dead and nick can't have that so he lies. even though a couple episodes back he wasn't happy with madison when she did the exact same thing when lying about the trimbols.

i also couldn't miss the fact that when alicia says everyone deserves to carve something out for themselves in this life troy and nick exchange a very quick glance. it could mean nothing but you can't deny that they looked at each other when she said that. and then when they have their talk in the car comes troy's most famous line: "all right, you stayed at the ranch because you love me." i think it's meant as a joke but again, nick doesn't refute troy's statement and they both just chuckle. like nick admitted to alicia that he and troy may be similar, troy says the same to nick now. and like before, nick doesn't say anything against it. it's not just troy who thinks like that, nick himself already came to the same conclusion.

at the bazaar we then come to some of the most bizarre scenes ever when nick and troy get high together. this is another thing that troy does just for nick. he doesn't really want to get high and seems to be rather uncomfortable at the beginning but he still does it because of nick. nick does have to remind him though that he saved troy's life but in the end troy does it for nick. again. surrounded by the infected nick then confesses to troy that he doesn't want to go back with madison and troy comforts him and hugs him. he hugs him! this scene as well as the couple ones before when they were staggering around together, arms slung around each other's shoulder, are everything. they are definitely friends by now, rather close ones actually, genuinely care for each other, and i really love the place that their relationship is at in that moment.

the next day nick then informs madison that he and troy plan to stay at the bazaar. we don't know troy's opinion on this but i think he only stayed there because of nick but i'll talk about this later on.

when troy hears that the proctors plan to attack the dam he is the one to yank nick out of his stupor. i'm not entirely sure if he wants to help madison for nick's sake or because he still kinda likes her. but it is worth mentioning that back when nick joined the militia troy asked nick: "is madison okay with this?", while now he tells nick "your mother's in trouble". back then he says 'madison' while he now says 'your mother' which kinda strikes me as odd. to say 'your mother' is more personal and it feels like troy acknowledges the fact that madison is nick's mother and that's why they should go and save her. so he might be doing this for nick's sake because even though nick doesn't want to stay with madison she's still his mother and he still loves her so troy might wanna save her for nick. still, i'm not entirely sure.

while nick is questioned by daniel troy tries to reconnect with madison, at least it seems to me like that's what he's doing. like i said before i think that troy only stayed at the bazaar because of nick. and here's the reason why: he tells madison that the bazaar wasn't a good place for him and nick. he probably already realized that after the first night because how could he not but he still decided to stay there, all because of nick. so again, he did that for nick. he then confirms to madison that he and nick are indeed friends and to troy they are actually closer than friends, like brothers, and that he genuinely likes nick. when troy asks madison if they're good she says they are but i didn't believe her, not for a second. she needed too long for her answer and was too quick in changing the topic. at the same time daniel questions nick and again, nick lies for troy and covers him. but this is a different situation, this is daniel. nick knows what daniel can do but he still lies to protect troy.

in the end it's all for nothing though because madison is the one that finally kills him after finding out that he was the one who led the horde to the ranch. nick did everything he could to protect troy and then madison, nick's mother, is the one to actually take troy's life. nick does look horrified when she does it but i feel like he could've been a little more shocked. he just looks horrified, turns around and walks out of the room, and after that i was a little disappointed in him for not showing more emotions. later when nick and madison are hiding he then starts arguing with her about it but the argument was more about the fact that madison can just callously kill someone and not necessarily about her having killed troy. although when madison says she killed him for her kids, she made that call for them, nick tells her "not for me!", and i really liked hearing him say that because he seemed angry but also sad and hurt so he's obviously not okay with what she did. later when john asks him about troy and he says that troy's dead and his mom killed him he also sounds a bit accusing which i also loved to hear. the way john asked, "is your friend here, nick?", i loved that as well. it again solidifies that nick and troy were friends because nick answers the question without refuting the statement and saying that they weren't friends or something like that. so at least troy and nick both acknowledged that they were friends.

but of course we also cannot forget nick's suicide note. i really love the fact that he called it his 'suicide note' because that was a reference all the way back to his talk with troy and the rest of the militia when troy didn't want him to go all kamikaze on them. i see it as nick kinda honouring his friendship with troy when he calls it his 'suicide note' because nobody knows the story behind it but it's obvious what it means. i've heard people say that now that troy's gone nick's all suicidal and troy's not there to stop him like he did before. but i'm not sure. you can certainly interpret it as that because nick does seem to be rather disillusioned and he's definitely still grieving troy. there is however no other option at the moment if he wants his mom and sister as well as strand to survive so i don't think he's just suicidal because troy's gone. to me it seems like he's accepted his fate and made his peace with the fact that he would die and i think it would've been a great end for nick if they'd actually let him die there.

i will definitely miss them though because their dynamic was great and i really do think that nick could've helped troy become a better person. he'd never be a good person but he could've gotten better, if they had just given him a chance. as i said before, i really think that most of the things troy did after the horde he did for nick so i genuinely believe nick could've helped him be a better person.