#this sounds worrying…

[simonz-angel]

thinking abt a situationship i had a while ago… he’s like 14 years older than me and he made me suck his dick the first time we met. idk if i’ve just never had any kindness shown to me but it was so sweet when he pulled his dick out and i was still shy and unsure of what to do and he’s like “why are you just looking at it? you wanna touch? go ahead and touch whatever you want” and pulled my hand to his dick 😭😭😭 like awwww that’s nice of him

now now lil lady this somewhat sounds very lovely but at the same time… are you okay? like ion this don’t sit right with me im so sorry 🤦‍♀️ please please tell me you were of age hunnie 🙏

[deecotan]

classic dad joke

[arkangelo-7]

It must be so fucking weird for Bruce and Oliver to be on the Justice League. Like here they are with a bunch of metahumans, aliens, wizards and gods and shit, and they’re literally just Two Dudes. I bet they side-eye the fuck out of each other during League meetings bc like what the actual fuck? how can this be my problem? I’m going to the chiropractor after this?

[ditzybat]

bernard: i just love true crime, don't you?

tim, trying to impress him: i may or may not be a war criminal with a hypothetical body count in the triple digits who's trained under multiple trained assassins as their apprentice

bernard: ???

[thankstothe]

this show rewires you fundamentally in 60 seconds and then just goes on to have more seasons. audacity

[bloodcoveredgf]

i am having a fucked up time but im being really chill and awesome about it

[thebibliosphere]

I'm scrolling through some ambient noises to help me write, and it got me thinking. Y'know those white noise machines people use for sleeping?

Do you think there's a very specific brand marketed at Gothamites?

Like everyone else has rainy nights on the beach, whale song, the crackle of the campfire, and everyone's all-time favorite "rickety fan about to oscillate off your shitty ikea desk at four in the morning."

And then there's "The Sounds of Gotham," a nighttime ambiance made up of heavy thunderstorms interspaced with the wail of police sirens and the occasional smattering of gunfire.

If you upgrade to premium, you can get the added sound effect of "small vigilante child dropping onto your apartment roof followed by the heavy pitter-patter of their combat boots as they dropkick a criminal off the fire escape."

Mm. Cozy.

[submastrain]

Emmet is just trying to learn a new instrument~ 🎵

[goblinhoursinsomniaramblings]

DP x DC prompt: kids from the future

Danny enlists the help of Dan and Dani regularly in crimefighting. The JL initially assumes siblings, but Dan volunteers that he's actually Danny's kid from the future. Danny is so shocked by thinking of it that way that Dani thinks it would be hilarious to insist she is the same. the following ensues.

Danny: whoa, what do you think you're-

Dan: dare you to explain me and her and what they're gonna find in our genetics any better without sounding like you're covering for someone.

Danny:

Danny: these are my kids from the future and that is why the big one is only half my genetic match and the small one has evidence of being made in a lab, please do not look any deeper into that

Danny: so are there forms for that or

[idoodlestuffsometimes]

Story Post 15 (Part 1)

AU MASTER POST

BEGINNING | PREVIOUS | NEXT (tbd)

[Image ID under the cut]

[IMAGE ID: Two pages of a black and white comic. PAGE ONE PANEL ONE: Luz stares up in fear, caught in the relic room of the castle. "Why if it isn't Eda's human pet!" PANEL TWO: Lilith looms over her. "How perfect." PANEL THREE: A distant view of one of the castle's towers. PANEL FOUR: Caleb is throwing a pot on his potter's wheel. He's wearing an apron and his reading glasses, his hair tied up in a bun. He's sticking his tongue out, calm and concentrated as he works. PANEL FIVE: CRASH! Caleb jerks comically in surprise, splattering his pottery everywhere. PANEL SIX: BAM BAM BAM! Caleb takes off his glasses, turning towards the noise coming from the nearby window.

PAGE TWO PANEL ONE: The racket continues, overwhelming the panel. An overhead view as Caleb stands up on his crutches and moves towards the noise. "What in the Titan's name is going on??" he wonders. PANEL TWO: Caleb looks out the window. "I can't see anything from here," he thinks. PANEL THREE: The noise breaks off into a screech, followed by silence. A close up of Caleb looking through the bars of his window, eyebrows raised in bemusement. PANEL FOUR: His expression changes to uncertainty. "It stopped..." he thinks. PANEL FIVE: Hunter throws the door open with a BANG, Belos following behind him. "DAD!" he yells happily. Caleb jolts, startled. PANEL SIX: "You'll never guess what just happened!" says Hunter excitedly. Caleb turns to him, wiping the clay off his hands with a towel. "Violence and destruction of property?" "Well, yes," answers Hunter, "but--." PANEL SEVEN: Belos stands at Hunter's side and rests his hand on his shoulder. Hunter puts his hands on his hips and smiles at Caleb proudly. "Lilith Clawthorne has finally captured the Owl Lady," says Belos. PANEL EIGHT: Caleb clutches his shirt as he looks at them, horrified. The panel around them is black except for the barred window behind him. "She captured her own sister?" he asks. /End ID]

[ethan-acfan]

Desmond strikes me as the kind of guy to not mention really important details about himself unless prompted. So when he first started working at the bar, he had been there for a little over a year before he randomly dropped he had been raised in a cult. And he didn't do it in a serious way either, it only got brought up because one of his coworkers were pestering him about how he has never seen star wars.

"Dude, how have you never heard of star wars? It's star wars?!"

"Well I was raised in a cult so..."

".... WHAT?"

He then had to go through the painful explanation on how he was raised in a conspiracy theory murder cult that was training him to kill the CEO's of Abstergo... yes, the medicine company

[astrhae]

She's all I've got left // My family is waiting for me.

Donna and the Doctor: on leaving behind vs. being left behind

[blob-monster]

[forgettable-au]

Since the font wingdings gets translated horribly by any recording and ESPECIALLY digital stuff, can he like- not make phone calls either? THIS POOR MAN 😭

Yeah, basically 😞

I kinda made that whole headcanon for Wingdings based on this thing that happens in deltarune with your phone:

Soooooo, yeah!!!! Phone calls don't work great!!!

And like, yeaaaahh that's definitely related to Gaster but it's probably not his voiceeeee in canon, it's probably something elseeeeee BUT!!! IN THIS AU I MADE A WHOLE HEADCANON FOR GASTER BASED ON THAT, ISN'T THAT FUN???? YEAH🎉

[elbdot]

I JUST NOTICED LIL BABY JOLTIK THINK OF THE CHILD EL!!!

Hahahaha little child go WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[imminent-danger-came]

2x02 // 3x01 // 3x03 // 3x13 // 4x12

Team huddle!