#this one's long af oops

[untitled-space-project]

[The crew is playing DnD together.]

July: You're walking down a hallway when you see a door.

Aster: Can I seduce the door?

July: No you cannot.

Shale: Can I seduce the door?

July: Also no.

Thrix: Can I punch Cassio?

July, sighing: Cassio, you take five damage.

Cassio: Well, I transform into a beaver.

July: You... do that.

Aster: Now can I seduce the door?

July: Still no!

Thrix: I want to punch Cassio again.

Shale: Could I fight the door?

July: No!

Aster: I also want to fight the door.

July: No one is fighting the door!

Thrix: Is the door dead or alive? Can I enslave its soul?

July: IT'S A DOOR!

Cassio: Can I build a better door?

July: Do you want to do that?

Cassio: I gather wood from the surrounding forests to build the best door.

Shale: Wait, is the first door locked?

July: No!

Shale: I open the door!

July: Good! Inside you find a small treasure chest.

Aster: I seduce the treasure chest.

July: OH COME ON!

[slink-a-dink]

LobCorp Egotober Day 1 - One Sin and Hundreds of Good Deeds, Tim

[visionkept]

HC 7: DUEL THOUGHTS (pt.1).

"I heard that my friend had challenged the VISION HUNTERS to a duel before the throne."

There’s still the big misconception that Tomo CHALLENGED the Shogun when in reality, they went for the VISION HUNTERS all together. It is said by Kazuha in the cutscene and even has a voice-line that confirms that Tomo fought Sara and not Raiden, the Shogun was there just to witness the outcome and PUNISH the loser.

KAZUHA. ABOUT KUJOU SARA: “She defeated my friend in a duel before the throne, which I accept as proof of her great strength”

Besides this confirming that TOMO FOUGHT SARA and NOT the Shogun, the rest of the fight is left heavily AMBIGUOUS and so were the conditions they set. 

Yes, the winner would get a second chance but what did that even mean ? Would the vision hunt decree disappear if Tomo had won ? Would it continue though Tomo had beheaded their general ? There’s so much to unpack here and yet, the only thing we have for certain is that the winner would SURVIVE to see another day.

But did Tomo ONLY fight Sara ? I don’t think so. BESIDES fighting Sara, I do believe Tomo had to go through an ENTIRE SQUAD first. After all, the cutscene does show us a clear view of the BATTLEFIELD:

I do find it a bit strange that it was filled with katanas in a position given to fallen soldiers. And though we could assume these could be from previous fights against the throne, I find it rather unlikely considering that we don’t see them in game nor were there any other duels mentioned. And another important detail I noticed ( and that does seem intentional ) . . .

The PATTERNS in the fallen blades are similar to the ones we see with the Shogun’s soldiers. A black / white pattern that contrasts heavily with Tomo’s katana ( white / black ). Kazuha suggests in many occasions that Tomo was, indeed, very STRONG. That’s why he ACCEPTS that Sara is too - because she DEFEATED THEM out of all people. 

The absolute madman CHALLENGED a whole army KNOWING it would be too much for them. And yet they were able to defeat AT LEAST 25 SOLDIERS in combat to the point that either Sara had to step in and stop them or they managed to defeat all the men assigned that it was HER turn to do something about it.

If Tomoya ever does become a playable character ( there’s hope ), I do wish they could expand more on what exactly happened through that duel, if their battle with Sara was tight to the point that they almost got their victory.

They went with the mentality of dying in the ATTEMPT but. . . what if they had been so close to win. . .

[luckyemo]

do people know what extension and what setting hides pinned blog posts lmao

[bunny-norris]

TEENAGE DREAM, L. NORRIS.

Word count: idek but it’s long af (oops)

Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up kids) i also can’t write smut too well so enjoy this monstrosity.

In which, his best friend was there all along, he just never realised it until it was almost too late. Best friends to lovers.

From the moment you were a little girl, motorsport was a big thing in your life. Your father and brother grew up being Formula One fans; it ran through your family. Your brother had decided he wanted to go karting, and ultimately you wanted to join him, wanting to compete against him.

It was on one of those early Saturday mornings at the local karting track, the air buzzing with excitement and the smell of petrol filling your lungs, that you first met Lando Norris. He was a scrawny kid with a mop of dark hair and a cheeky grin, looking just as eager to hit the track as you were. At first, you thought nothing of him, just another competitor in the line-up. But as the weeks turned into months, and the karting sessions became a regular part of your routine, you began to notice him more.

Lando was fast, really fast. But more than that, he was kind. In a world where everyone was trying to get ahead, he was the one who’d stick around to help you with your kart when it faltered, or share a laugh after a particularly tough race. Despite your fierce competitiveness and tough exterior, Lando seemed to see right through to the part of you that loved the sport not just for the thrill of victory, but for the pure joy of racing.

One rainy afternoon, after a particularly grueling session where you'd spun out twice and felt like giving up, it was Lando who came over and offered you his umbrella and a hug. "You'll get them next time, I believe in you, always." he said with that infectious grin, he wrapped his arms around you and whilst Lando was not the tallest boy you had ever seen, but he was much taller than you were, to the point that you hid your head in his neck as he hugged you.

"I'll never be as good as you Lan, you'll be a Formula One star one day I just know it." You told him, even though it was a tough day for you, you were happy for Lando, who had succeeded in winning the race.

"You're better than me, Y/N. And even if I do ever get into Formula One, i'll take you to every race, we'll always be together, always be best friends, I promise."

And just like that, from being just 11 years old, Lando kept his promise to you.

--

At just 18 years old, Lando Norris found himself catapulted into the world of Formula One as a driver for McLaren and you were with him every single step of the way. You were always his plus one to everything, every event he would beg you to go with him. Many people thought you were his sister, following him around everywhere, you were in every family photo, every red carpet photo.

But as you both grew older and Lando's career skyrocketed, your relationship began to shift. It was subtle at first, the way his touch lingered a bit longer, the way his smiles seemed warmer. Lando had a way of making you feel like you were the only person in the room, his blue eyes locking onto yours with a kind of intensity that made your heart race. He would cling onto you like you were his anchor, hugging you from behind, holding your hand in crowded places, and giving you soft kisses on your temple that left you breathless.

It felt like he was treating you like his girlfriend, and for a while, you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, he saw you that way too. But then, there were the other girls. Lando was charming and handsome, and the attention he got from the opposite sex was impossible to ignore. He would bring home different girls, be seen with someone else on his arm, and every time it happened, it crushed your heart a little more. You tried to bury your feelings, to forget about the way he made you feel, but it was easier said than done.

Max, Lando's other best friend, was one of the few people who saw through your façade. He knew how you felt about Lando, and he never missed an opportunity to encourage you to go for it. "You should tell him," Max would say, his eyes serious. "You never know, he might feel the same way." But the thought of risking your friendship with Lando was too much. The fear of losing him completely if things went wrong kept you from saying anything.

So, you focused on your work, throwing yourself into your career and avoiding getting involved with boys. It was easier that way, not having to deal with the pain of seeing Lando with someone else. But deep down, there was always that glimmer of hope that one day, he would see you as more than just his best friend.

Your life revolved around him, and as much as you tried to deny it, your heart belonged to Lando. Every time he took the wheel and raced around the track, your heart raced with him. You were there for his triumphs and his defeats, always cheering him on from the sidelines. And through it all, he was your constant, the one person who made everything better just by being there.

You remember the nights spent talking until the early hours of the morning, sharing your hopes and dreams. Lando would often tell you how much he appreciated having you by his side, how he couldn't imagine doing any of it without you. Those words kept you going, even when it felt like your heart was breaking.

One evening, after a particularly grueling race, you found yourself alone with Lando in his hotel room. The exhaustion was evident on his face, but so was the relief of having you there. He pulled you into a tight hug, resting his chin on your head. "I don't know what I'd do without you," he murmured, his voice heavy with emotion.

You wanted to tell him right then and there how you felt, how much he meant to you, but the fear held you back. Instead, you held onto him a little tighter, savoring the moment and the warmth of his embrace. It was moments like these that made it all worth it, the pain and the longing. As long as you had him in your life, even as just a friend, it was enough.

But Max's words lingered in your mind, a constant reminder of the possibility that things could be different. "You're always going to wonder 'what if' unless you say something," Max had said once, his voice gentle but firm. And he was right. The fear of losing Lando was strong, but the fear of never knowing if he could love you back was even stronger.

—

The 'what if' thought became true though, soon enough you still hadn’t worked up the courage to say anything to your friend. You carried on as normal and that normal turned into him getting a girlfriend. Sure, Lando had been out with girls before but nothing serious, it was never serious, until now.

She was beautiful, kind, and perfect for him. At least, that’s what you told yourself. Lando still acted like your best friend, still hugged you from behind, still gave you those soft kisses on your temple, but it wasn’t the same. You could feel the distance growing, a subtle shift in the way he interacted with you. He wasn’t as close to you anymore, and while you respected his boundaries, it saddened you deeply.

You tried to be happy for him, to support him in his new relationship, but the pain of seeing him with someone else was too much to bear. So, you started to distance yourself. You didn’t go to his races as much anymore, making excuses about work and other commitments. You told yourself it was for the best, that you needed to give him space to focus on his new relationship.

One night, after a race in which he made the podium, there was a knock on your door. Surprised, you opened it to find Lando standing there, still in his race suit, his face flushed with emotion.

“You weren't there, why weren't you there?” he demanded, his eyes searching yours for answers. “I wanted you there, I needed you there.”

Your heart ached at the frustration in his voice, but you couldn’t hold back any longer. "It's not a big deal, Lan. I've missed other races before, I'm sorry I wasn't there but i've been busy." You told him, but he didn't want to accept that.

"You haven't been the same recently, Y/N, have I done something wrong? Please baby, just stop avoiding me."

You know deep down that you weren't everything to Lando, yet he treated you like a princess and treated you that way all the time. You'd had enough of the heart-stopping leap that occurred each time he called you "baby," "darling," or "sweetheart." He was using sweet nicknames for you, ones he should be addressing his lover, not you. Even though he may consider you to be his best friend, the nicknames weren't meant for you; they were for the people he loved.

You turned to face him quickly, something in your mind snapping with hurt. "You can't call me that anymore, Lando, do you not understand that? You have a girlfriend now, we've always been close, but maybe it's sometimes too close for me, it gives people the wrong impression."

"But you're my best girl, Y/N, we've always been like this, I don't understand what the issue is. It doesn't change anything between us."

“It changes everything between us, don't you understand that? You have a girlfriend now, Lando. You don’t need me following you everywhere. I have my own life, and I don’t want to get in the way of your relationship with her.”

He stepped inside, closing the door behind him, his expression a mix of confusion and hurt. “You can’t have it both ways,” you said, your voice trembling. “I can’t act like your girlfriend when I never will be. I can’t keep pretending that it doesn’t hurt to see you with someone else. I love you, Lando, and I understand that you’ll never love me back, but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep breaking my own heart.”

For a moment, there was silence. Then, Lando’s face twisted with anger and hurt. “You love me?"

“What does it matter now, Lando? It never has done before, so it doesn't need to matter now."

Without another word, Lando stormed out, slamming the door behind him. You stood there, your heart shattered, believing that your friendship was over.

You watched him leave, the weight of unspoken words and broken dreams pressing down on your chest.

--

Weeks passed in a blur of heartache and regret. You buried yourself in work, trying to forget the look on Lando's face when he stormed out of your apartment. The silence between you two was deafening, a constant reminder of everything left unsaid.

One Friday night, Max invited you out. “It’s just going to be a few of us,” he said, his voice casual over the phone. “No Lando, I promise. Just me, my girlfriend, and some friends. Come on, you need a break.”

Reluctantly, you agreed. Max’s girlfriend, Pietra, was one of your closest friends, and you missed her company. Besides, a night out might be exactly what you needed to get your mind off things.

When you arrived at the club, the music was loud and the lights were dazzling. Max’s girlfriend greeted you with a warm hug, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to relax. You didn’t see Lando anywhere, and for that, you were grateful.

You joined your friends on the dance floor, letting the music and the rhythm wash over you. For a little while, you felt free, lost in the moment. A man approached you, charming and handsome, and you found yourself dancing with him. He was a bit too close, his hands lingering a bit too long, but you tried to enjoy the attention, anything to distract from the ache in your heart.

Meanwhile, across the club, Lando stood at the bar with Max. His eyes scanned the crowd, and when he finally spotted you, his heart clenched. Max noticed the shift in his friend’s demeanor and followed his gaze.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Max said, his voice cutting through the noise.

Lando tore his eyes away from you and glared at Max. “What are you talking about?”

“You love her,” Max stated bluntly. “You’ve been stringing her along for years, being best friends for years without telling her how you really feel, treating her like a princess but never actually telling her how much you want her. And now, you’re losing her.”

Lando’s jaw tightened. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Max sighed, shaking his head. “Yes, you do. I've been both of your friends since we were young, i've lived through every looking look, every pda sessions. And now look at her.” He nodded towards you, now laughing as the man you were dancing with moved even closer. “She’s trying to move on, and you’re just standing here like an idiot.”

"You're delusional," Lando says, rolling his eyes, sipping some of his drink. Max just huffs at him, "sure mate, really explains why you're just burning holes into the back of that blokes head that she's been getting quite close with tonight."

"He just shouldn't be touching her like that," Lando mumbles. "I think actually, if she consents, he can touch her how she and he wants him to. Looks like she'll be getting lucky tonight, at least one of us will." Max smirks, turning away from his friend, knowing his words will light a flame under Lando's arse.

And it does, before Lando even knows where his feet are taking him and stands just feet away from Y/N, and before he knows it, he's pushing the guy she's been dancing with all night. As he pushes the guy away he turns to Y/N cupping her face and pulling her lips onto his.

For a moment, the world seems to stand still for both Y/N and Lando. Y/N's mind went from dancing with a man she had met that night to now all she could think about the fact that Lando's lips were on hers in a way in which she never could've imagined.

Lando put his hands up in your hair and swiped his tongue across your lips, pleading for permission to enter, which you granted. You held onto his waist and drew him in closer, unable to let go of this moment. The fact that there were people around—both familiar and unfamiliar—did not concern you. You wanted all of him right now, so nothing else mattered. You never wanted this to end.

"My girl," Lando mumbled in between kissing you, going back to your lips, bruising them a little more with his mouth.

"Yours, always yours."

Lando let your lips breathe, learning his forehead against your own, his hands making their way up and down your back, getting close to below your waise almost towards your backside. "I love you, i'm sorry I stormed out, i'm sorry for everything. I've been in love with you since the moment you stepped onto that karting track, I never thought you'd ever want me so I never asked, and that was cowardly of me. But please believe me when I tell you that you truly are everything to me." He breathed, as you just stared at him, not quite sure what to say.

"What about your relationship?"

"The moment you told me you loved me, the moment I walked out your door, I ended it." Lando stared into your eyes, he chuckled slightly. "You think i'm going to stay with someone who I don't love when the girl i'm been dreaming about since I was a teenager told me she loves me. Do you know how many time I layed in bed thinking about you, about what I would do to you if I had the chance. I'm not letting that opportunity slip through my fingers."

Your eyebrow perked up at his revolation, wanting to know more. "You thought about me? In bed? Were you having some naughty thoughts, Mr Norris?" You joked, your hands going up to the back of his neck.

"All the damn time, I thought about your body every single moment, whenever you came to the races I would see you in those summer dresses, you have and always will be the most gorgeous person in the room. You have no idea what I want to do to you."

At Lando's words you felt a sensations rush right to your core, you had made him feel that way. Every touch he had ever given you, every kiss on the shoulder, on the head, every time he had wrapped his arms around your waist was now meaning something different.

"Then show me, you want me, I want all of you."

"Are you sure?" Lando asked, always the gentleman, wanting to know you were okay before anything else.

You felt brave, a new sense of confidence surrounding you. You weren't the most confident when it came to men, you never spoke your true feelings to them, you never spoke about your sexual desires with them. But now, something had lit a fire in you and you wanted nothing more than to have everything with Lando. "Positive."

You had both made a swift exit from the club and back to Lando's apartment, a place you knew so well, you had spent endless nights there, together as friends, cuddled up to one another. Some nights you would even join him on his stream, laughing with each other. But tonight was different, his apartment was no longer a hangout place.

The ride back to the apartment was full of sexual tension, and you felt it immensely. Whilst you felt surges of confidence, you couldn’t help but feel nervous. Lando’s hand stayed on your thigh the whole time, making small shapes with his fingers, every so often getting higher and higher. Every time he would get to the point where you hoped he would finally touch you, he moved his fingers away from you.

You let out a whine, desperate for his touch. After all these years of pent up desire, you needed him to do something, anything. He rubbed your thigh, smirking at you. “Soon baby, just be patient, i’ll give you what you want soon enough.”

“Don’t wanna wait Lando, want you now.” You weren’t quite sure where what you were saying was coming from, but the way he spoke to you made you want more, you wanted more than what anyone else had ever given you during sex.

You pouted slightly as Lando just raised his brow, “carry on with that attitude and you won’t be getting anything.”

“I’ll just get myself off then, been doing it for years, i’ve gotten pretty good at it, you know.” Now it was your turn to smirk, though it seemed Lando didn’t find it too funny, his possessive side coming out even more.

He slapped your thigh slightly, making you gasp. “You’ll never do that to yourself again, the only person making you cum will be me, whether it’s my mouth, fingers or dick, only me you understand?”

“Only you.” You nodded, as he kissed you lightly, smirking knowingly to what his words did to you.

Arriving at his apartment, you both practically ran to his floor all the way to his door.

Opening the door, he pushed you up against the wall, slamming the door behind him, his hands cupped to your face, kissing you like it was your last night on earth.

His hands were everywhere, as were yours. His hands made their way to your breasts, spilling them out of the dress you were wearing, pinching your exposed nipples. Every piece of you he wanted to feel, and you wanted to feel all of him.

“Please Lando, want you inside me, please.” You moaned as he kissed down your neck, making sure to leave little marks in each spot he kissed.

“So needy,” he mumbled, but you just huffed again, trying desperately to get out of your dress. You felt hot, like your skin was on fire, wanting to feel your skin against his.

You pulled on his clothes, pulling his shirt over his head, finally being able to touch him after longing to for so long. You weren’t new to seeing Lando without a shirt, it was common when you both went on holiday or even in the gym, but this time it was different, you knew he was now yours and you were his.

Lando led you to the bed, pushing you on your back as he climbed on top of you, getting rid of the last of the clothing on you. “Dreamed of you for so long, dreamed of your pussy, how you’d feel, filling you up.”

His words spurred you on, you had never expected him to be like this, but god, this was better than you ever could’ve imagined.

He wasted no time in attaching his lips to you, something you had never really had the chance to experience. His tongue moved in ways you never knew were possibly, sucking on your clit, dipping his tongue inside your pussy. You felt like you could practically explode, coming close to your release.

Arching your back, gripping the sheets, Lando finally came up for air. “Fuck, you taste even better than I imagined.”

Before you could even think, he flipped you over so he was on his back and you were on top of him. “Gonna fuck you so good, darling, gonna treat you so right.”

You felt practically drunk at this point, you lined up his cock with your core, sinking onto it slowly, feeling him fill you just right.

“Fucking shit,” Lando cursed, not being able to take his eyes off you, mouth slightly agape unable to find the words to say from the pleasure.

You started moving slightly as you got use to him inside you. Your breasts bounced as you moved, Lando’s eyes never leaving yours.

“Can’t believe I never did this sooner, so many years I could’ve had you all to myself, had you like this every night. Never fucking letting you go, gonna fuck you everyday, you’d like that wouldn’t you?” Lando purred, encouraging you to go faster.

You nodded, barely being able to form the words to reply. “Yes, yes, please.”

“Good girl. My dream girl, so good for me.”

Lando’s pace quickened, making you both come close to climax. Both saying incoherent words of love and pleasure, Lando chanting over and over again about how good you felt and how he never wanted to let you go.

“Lan, i’m gonna..” You said, as his hand gripped your backside, you knew there would be marks there in the morning.

“Me too, baby. Come with me,” he said as you both looked in each others eyes.

Coming together, you fell against his chest, exhausted.

“I love you,” Lando said, pushing your hair out of your face, kissing the side of your head. Even after everything that had just happened, he still managed to treat you like the princess he always had done.

Your teenage dream had turned into something real.

do i know how to finish fics? no. Bon Appetite.

[xbinksc]

nsfw smut detailed alphabet with nicholas chavez plsssss

Ahhhhhh I’m so happy someone asked for this😵‍💫

LETS GAURRRRRR

Not proofread and very rushed do not come for me

Warning nsfw duhh

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

It takes him a second to get back into his body (if that even makes sense) but that doesn’t last long cause as soon as he regroupes himself he’s making sure you have what u need to be comfortable and of course the pillow talk is his fav! He does what he can to show how much he adores and appreciates you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

This man has worked hard for his body so naturally he’s proud of every part of himself but if he had to pick one it would probably be his thighs (and how u look riding them Oop-). Nicholas is an ass man at heart but is obsessed with your collarbones and your lips.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s messy af😫 when he’s not finishing inside you (with ur consent duh) he’s finishing on your face,your mouth,your stomach, your thighs or your chest.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he’s so obsessed with you that he can’t get off unless it’s to a video of you or has something of yours somewhere near him you laugh about it but you secretly love that you have that kinda hold on him😈

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

It’s no secret that before he met you he was getting around so he’s definitely experienced and knows what he’s doing but he’s also learned a lot from you considering he doesn’t see you as another one of his flings so it’s different for him.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy is y’all’s go to for sure he loves the view and grabbing u by the neck while slowly bringing u close to his chest😵‍💫 nac does appreciate a little missionary or cowgirl moment tho.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

There are times he’ll throw in a few jokes mid fk but he’s quite concentrated making sure u feel good for the most part.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Very well groomed but he’s not very hairy in general

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

No matter what mood he’s in sex between you both is very intimate Eye contact, soft whispers, moaning in each others ears and hands linked together.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he doesn’t jack off as often since you guys started dating but when he does it’s nothing out of the ordinary just a quick spank sesh lmao

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Off the top of my head edging,doing it in public, ice play,slightly masochistic

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

literally everywhere. He just loves the idea that he can pick u up and bend u over anywhere and anytime (with consent😋)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Doesn’t take much for him ur mere presence turns him on but if he was to describe a scenario it would most probably be seeing you do really “wifey”shit like something as simple as u sweeping the floor lmao

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

do not ask this man for a threesome🥲

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

A GIVER THROUGH AND THROUGH AND HE IS GOOD a little too good the view of you throwing your head back at the feeling of his tongue is equal to a Picasso art piece in his mind.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Usually starts off pretty slow but progressively gets faster and rougher

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies all day everyday🙂 jk but I’d say due to both of your busy schedules quickies are quite often between the two of you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s willing to experiment but more vanilla leaning typa stuff nothing too hard core

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

2-3 rounds max but it’s rare y’all hit the 3rd round cause he lasts long and as I said takes it slow in the beginning so 1 round can last like a little over an hour

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He’s willing to an extent but y’all never tried them nor made it a priority. You’re bodies are enough for eachother.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he absolutely loves to see u squirm under his control😵‍💫🫠he’s the biggest tease

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not very loud he’s more of a moan n groan in your ear type of guy

W = Wild card (a random headcanon)

One time y’all came home from a red carpet event drunk and h0rny as hell so the second u hit the door step y’all got to it removing your clothes piece by piece while making out making your way up the stairs and unbeknownst to you his tie that he removed fell right under ur foot and you slipped and hit ur head leaving u with an open gash on your forehead so y’all had to make your way to the emergency room but fortunately you were fine just a couple stitches although having to explain to the doctors the situation was verrrry awkward and to this day Nicholas refuses to not carry you up the steps.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

A good 8.5-9 inches and not very thick

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It depends how many projects,interviews,etc he’s juggling. Naturally he has a high sex drive but he’s able to suppress it for the most part if needed.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s hype immediately after so during that time he’s usually taking care of you and getting glasses of water and the whole schtick but very often once he’s back in bed laying down it’s as if someone tranquilized him he just knocks tf out once the adrenaline is gone

[fandomzwriterk]

Can you do a hc of Smoke/Tomas Vrbada meets female s/o who is a Kitsune? She can shapeshift into both her fox form and human forms, possess mystic fire, and likes to be mischievous.

A/N: abso-freaking-lutely I will! (This is coming from a Kiriko main who also uses Mercy) I friggin love Kiriko! I also apologize if this is long AF but I got carried away on this one🤣

-> You two met because of Hanzo

-> You had turned into a small fox, your 5 tails bouncing behind you as you crawled under the wall

-> So, you slowly and carefully made your way around the Shirai Ryu

-> It’s around this time that Hanzo is starting training under both Tomas and Kuai

-> So you stay in the shadows while you keep your eyes on all three men

-> Hanzo sees you, and you know it’s too late

-> You run, Hanzo chasing after you with the other two chasing after him

-> Hanzo calls to you as he corners you within a training room

-> You use your magic to make a flamethrower of fire come from your mouth

-> You basically burn everything

-> As you go to run, it’s Tomas that catches you

-> As Tomas holds you in a tight grip with you under his armpit, your back legs flailing in the air

-> Kuai Liang calls out your five tails

-> Immediately Tomas put you down

-> He knows what Kitsune’s are, having heard stories from Kuai and Bi Han before

-> Hanzo offers you a small piece of fish, as a payback for not realizing what he had done

-> You honestly didn’t mind, as long as you were free to roam

-> You left after that

-> You kept coming back over the next couple of months, your presence became the new normal

-> Hanzo treated you like a pet while the brothers treated you like you were a god

-> You didn’t hate it… you just wanted a friend

-> So, as you were walking through the door into Tomas’ room, you spied his clothes on the top of his bed

-> You jumped up and snuggled underneath them just right

-> And poof! You were human

-> Your fur had become soft and fluffy hair on your head, your eyes still the same and that mischievous look in your eyes

-> Oops, Hanzo found you in the room and he was confused

-> He attacked wondering where the “fox” went

-> And boyyyy did the brothers come running while you tried to run out the door

-> As you came around the corner, you and Tomas collided and fell to the floor

-> He almost attacked you, but hesitated when he saw you on the ground dazed and defenseless

-> He quickly knew it was you

-> Hanzo was confused and Kuai (for once in his life) was shaking

-> Hanzo then asked you to light something on fire

-> You aimed at a small tree outside and fired, a giant blast coming from your hand and turning the tree to ash

-> It was then Tomas noticed his clothes on you

-> You apologized and asked if he needed them back, but he said to just keep them

-> Kuai, Tomas, and Hanzo take you to dinner and Madame Bo’s with Harumi and Liu Kang

-> This became a regular thing every day, and sometimes Tomas and you would go together or with Hanzo or Kuai

-> He thought you were fun to be around, not just because of you being a kitsune, but because you and him had fun screwing around instead of training

-> Unfortunately, this did not amuse Kuai Liang, who was often the subject of your “pranks” with Tomas

-> You would still switch but one time, while you were in fox form, Tomas walked into his room and completely missed you sitting on the bed

-> Granted, it was dark, but as soon as you lit a candle with your fire breath, Tomas jumped when he saw your fluffy form

-> You might’ve given him a heart attack

-> Most of the time you stayed with him

-> Hanzo was nice to watch over while he slept since he had nightmares and you would make sure he slept comfortably and safe during the night

-> But Tomas was sweeter than Hanzo, Tomas would make sure you were in the softest spot on the bed even if it meant he had to move

-> No joke, you had started living there for about a year before Tomas asked you to turn human before bed

-> He said you brought him safety, just your presence was enough to calm him

-> You asked if that was because of your powers and he said no, that it was just you being with him that made him comfortable

-> So you turned human before bed (in some of his clothes), and that night you and Tomas woke up with him squeezing you like his life depended on it

-> He said he thought you were cute while he was half asleep

A/N: hope you enjoyed!!!!! I love kitsune things and I love learning about everyone’s different mythic taste! I went overboard on this one I think

[wannaeatramyeon]

Been awhile that I have send a request...

So here! What is the character reaction when they see thier y/n! Wearing only thier shirt (like literally they got no pants) that always goes up when they stretch or reach something.

Sam! Hope you're ok and thanks for asking! Sorry for the delay with this one - I've just been obsessing over single characters. A lot. Here's a tier list of sorts. Hehehehe thinking about these especially for the innocent boys 😈

Lookism Boys reacting to you wearing just their shirt

Oops, you've broken their brain

These guys are sweet, innocent, and pretty inexperienced. Seeing you in just their shirt? With nothing underneath? That's indecent af but so hot. They will stand there gaping, frozen and beet-red as their lil brain breaks. With their remaining one single braincell, this is filed away as a core memory.

Johan Seong, Jake Kim, Sinu Han, Daniel Park, Jay Hong, Vasco Tabasco, Zack Lee, Warren Chae

Jumps your bones

You didn't expect anything less from these guys did you? You look unbelievably sexy, and it's an awful shame to just let that go to waste. Hold on, there's just a few more requests though.

"Hey Y/N, can you reach up on that top shelf for me? Hey Y/N, can you bend down to that bottom cupboard? Hey Y/N, can you climb up on this ladder? Hey Y/N, can you just keep that on and spread your legs-"

Goo Kim, Ryuhei Kuroda, Vin Jin

Admires

There's nothing wrong with admiring art, and this view definitely is a work of art. Stands there looking and taking it all in, sipping on some whiskey (Gun, Samuel) or munching on some popcorn (Jake) or with nothing because they don't want any distractions from this sight (Eli, DG). Really, cos damn. They can and will watch you all day long.

Gun Park, Samuel Seo, Jake Kim, Eli Jang, DG

Pretends everything is fine

Self-explanatory. Ignores everything at all cost. Holds eye contact, doesn't let it wander even though they're sweating and shaking with the exertion. They have reputations/principles to uphold. This cannot be the thing that ruins them.

Johan Seong, Xiaolong

Everything actually is fine

You need to up the ante with these guys. They've either seen it all or are otherwise distracted. Hold on, let's just bend over as your chest spills out. What? Oh yeah, that's also their boxer briefs you're wearing too.

Eugene, Gun Park, Samuel Seo, DG

[sailor-lunala]

yin nezha for ashes and rust (tpw pokemon au)

(i spent embarrassingly long on this but he looks SO fine so it was worth it. also i am veryyy sorry to both my ancestors and my chinese teacher for how terribly i wrote my characters, i really did try my best but stroke order and i do not get along - but it's nezha's name and all of his team members w/ their chinese names! pokemon names in chinese are kinda goofy tbh.)

anyways this fic is my child and you all should read it thank u <33 (it's basically just a rinezha pokemon au!)

...does anybody wanna hear about all of the details of the sinegard uniform for this au. no? maybe? perhaps under the cut? 👀

they have a casual uniform and a formal one, both are very much pictured in my head and in the fic's pinterest board but i doubt i'm gonna get a chance to draw them both properly

the casual one is more athletic-esque? think collared shirt, sweatpant-looking things, cute colorblock type sporty jacket. i can def picture it and i like it a lot. bc pokemon battling is a sport so it kinda makes sense to be sporty?

this is the formal uniform, obviously. suit jacket and tie with school colors and all that.

he has red chinese style buttons (like the silk buttons on a qipao?) on the collar for pledging combat (shoutout to the person who told me the combat armband was red when i asked because i forgot, this is why i needed to know)

the tassel w/ the dragon is a yin thing (they're pretentious af, what's new)

this was supposed to be nezha during the final battle of chapter 1 but i ran out of time (patience) to draw his gyarados and a background and all of that full scene stuff so... you can imagine ig?? but he (and everyone else) wears the formal uniform for the final graduation tournament

fun easter egg: he ranked 3rd in his graduating class

because kitay was 1st and rin was 2nd (obviously), kitay has the best grades and rin beat him in the final tournament so. oops. sorry nezha!

i really wanna (and should) draw rin like this but... idk i don't think it's gonna happen bc this one took SO long and i should probably prioritize actually writing chapter 5 and finishing the fic itself. oops. but maybe one day!! i really do want to!!

[rustboxstarr]

Hiiii! How about one where you and Eddie are arguing about keeping the house clean and you tell him you're not his mother to clean up after himself and he just gets angrier until you decide to punish him by not letting him touch you AT ALL and he's fine with it until days pass and he becomes needy AF and you want to give it to him, but not until he complies with your requests of him doing house chores and never once hearing him complain. He agrees but only if you let him absolutely destroy you

🌹The Incentive🌹

Summary: Your work trip is cut short and you're welcomed to a lovely... pigsty. Eddie has to do some real changes and surprisingly, Robin has the solution, cue some horny and desperate ass misery for Eddie hehe.

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, smut.

Domestic fighting, fear of domestic abuse, talk of R being homeless, talk of rape threats (NOT FROM EDDIE!), low-key kinda toxic for a sec, use of Y/N, yeah homeboy has undiagnosed ADHD, fluff, nakey nakey, Oral m & f receiving, slightly dangerous deep throating oop, P in V, reader is 25 and Eddie 26, established relationship, let me know if i missed any!

Wordcount: 19.5 k

A/N: Thank you so much for this request! I am so sorry it took such a long time to post it but I loved writing it! ❤️ I originally had another approach but I think this one is better haha. I did also create some media for visuals (I think I should keep doing it in the future, idk why but I love visuals, what do ya'll think?) so feel free to check them out! I suggest having a look at them before you start reading :)

Feel free to request, I loved doing this!! ❤️❤️❤️

PS: I didn't want to spoil the Barbie movie other than basic information so its kind of slack but yeah just fyi there is a mention of it :)

Love yas!

Fic visuals

Check out my other works!

“Oh my fucking god Eddie! I’ve been gone three days, three!” your mouth had dropped wide open as well as your laptop bag which thudded to the floor with the shock you were experiencing when you came home. Dirty dishes piled up on every single empty space -not already occupied by rubbish, food not put back in the fridge, empty beer and soda cans- occupying the kitchen counters. Shoes were haphazardly strewn across the entrance to the door, each one seemingly kicked off, your own were knocked over and precious, expensive heels were right in the line of fire for a trampling. Leather, denim, canvas and blazer jackets alike were littered all around the doormat. Multiple empty and half empty pizza boxes lay stacked on the coffee table, that too hit by the hurricane which was Eddie, rubbish, DnD notes, batteries, magazines and just about everything else could be found on the sleek mahogany wood. 

The discarded clothes that littered the hardwood floor acted as a red carpet for the man himself, Eddie Munson, unfortunately, your boyfriend, screaming into his headset while hunched forward to pay undivided attention to the game on screen, sweatpant clothed legs spread wide with two elbows resting on top, connected to his naked torso. 

He jumped in fright when he heard your shrill voice, he clearly hadn't heard the door open. His face contorted into a pained expression as he slipped one of the cups off his ears, watching you carefully as you scanned the apartment in disbelief. “Heyyy… weren't you uh coming home tomorrow?” his teeth were bit tight as his nose scrunched, waiting for the inevitable reaction. 

“What. The. Fuck. Is. This?” it was clear from the tension in your face that you were visibly fuming, smoke may as well be forcing out of your ears as of this moment. “I.. I gotta go” Eddie whispered into the microphone before taking his headset off completely, as he stood up and reached for the remote you lay notice to the smattering of crumbs that rolled off his chest and fell to the floor. “How come you're here so early baby?” his voice was quiet, both in an attempt to sooth you but also to dampen the whole situation. “Don’t you dare fucking baby me. What the actual fuck am I looking at right now?” your eyes were wide, your limbs stiff as board and teeth clenched in anger, no doubt only worsening the inevitable dental issues you would have in the future from your constant mindless teeth grinding. 

“I was gonna clean up I swear” your stare was unwavering and implying he continue. “You weren't supposed to see any of this, I promise, I was gonna clean up tomorrow before I picked you up from the airport” taking slow steps during each word he uttered he arrived in front of you, hands very gently reaching out to hold your hips. 

Well he was fucked. You pushed him away, almost backing into the door behind you as you began, “They cut the trip short so I came to surprise you, and this is what I come home to? Why would it even be here in the first place?! How do you manage to fucking trash our whole apartment, because I’m guessing theres more shit I’m going to find, IN THREE DAYS?!” he physically flinched at the volume of your voice as it rang around the room. “I-I had the guys over” in comparison to your voice Eddie sounded like a little church mouse as he whispered to you. 

“That is not an excuse! Who the fuck doesn’t clean up after having people over?!” you harshly shoved him out of the way as you stomped past him, heels clicking against the floors, having seen the state of the living room on your right and the kitchen on your left your most important place to inspect was the bedroom. 

Once again Eddie flinched as he heard the loud, shocked gasp that travelled down your throat. “I-I just wanted to relax ya know? For the weekend, no tasks, no cleaning and shit” he followed to stand behind you in the doorway. Sheets were crumpled and falling off the bed, the bedsheet barely even covering the mattress, clothes were scattered everywhere, spilling out of dresser doors behind the usually closed wardrobe door, on the floor, on the bed and both nightstands. Papers were littered across the various fabrics, notes and guidebooks to Dungeons and Dragons thrown on the floor, multiple bottles of various makeup and skincare products severed from their neat collection on your makeup table, instead left on the floor after seemingly being knocked down. 

Both Eddie's laptop and your Ipad -missing from its safekeeping in your bedside drawer- almost completely hidden under half of Eddie's wardrobe on the floor, begging to be stepped on.

“RELAX?! NOT CLEAN?!” you swerved around to face him, “YOU DON’T CLEAN, I CLEAN” an angry finger pointed at yourself, “You don’t do shit! I clean the bathroom, I clean the kitchen, I’m almost always the one picking up after dinner-” “That is not true and you know it”

You chose to ignore his comment as you continued working yourself up to a full blown rage-fit, “I do the laundry-”

“I do it too!” 

“You do it when I ask! I make the bed, I take out the trash”

“You barely ever do that, I almost always take it when I go to work-”

“STOP INTERRUPTING ME!” your high pitched screech made Eddie flinch for the third time tonight and it shut him right up. “Its like I’m living with a fucking child. You're a man-child Eddie. You don’t do shit unless I ask you too, and the only reason you take out the trash is because I had to nag you for two whole months! I am not your mother! I shouldn't have to do this!!” 

Oh how you would have loved to just come home to those almond brown eyes, adorable dimples and smiling lips. How you would have loved to just rewind from the five hour flight home from Wyoming after your shitty conference, just strip off, take a warm bath, listen to music and then wrap up with Eddie in bed while you watched Bob’s Burgers and munched on takeout. Exhaustion ached in your limbs and pulled at your shoulders, it crept up within all the tight seams of your pencil skirt and blouse, it pricked at your heels and toes from those stupid stilettos. It itched in the nylon stockings, it ripped at your throat, it squeezed at your scalp, begging someone to release your hair from the confines of the tight bun your hair was wrapped in. It urged and pleaded with you to take a breath and relax. But you couldn't and wouldn’t let it win. 

“I am not a fucking child” and he had the audacity to scoff at you. As if the garbage dump you were surrounded by wasn't already adding fuel to the fire that puff of air definitely did. “Yes! Yes you are! You are 25 years old and you only just moved out of your poor uncles trailer-” 

“Hey I slept on the couch since I was 21 all the way up to 24” 

“And Wayne slept on it since you were six! He’s a fifty year old man, now with a bad back because of you!” 

“Ok can we please not bring him into this?” 

While it most definitely was a good point on your end, you decided to respect his wishes, it was a little, ok, very mean to bring it up and use it against him. Using one of his weakest points against him when you knew it was one of his most shameful regrets. “Fine! How about we talk about you not being able to get of your fucking ass, get your shit together and be a fucking adult sooner? Huh?” 

“Fuck you, I got a job the second I graduated and started saving. Not everyone is as fucking perfect as you and live on their own since they were 17” His eyes screwed tightly shut the second he heard the words fly out of his mouth. 

“What the fuck did you just say?” oh now you were properly angry, how dare he? “I WAS NOT PERFECT I WAS HOMELESS! FOR THREE YEARS!!” angry red hot tears threatened to spill from your water lines at the fact that you had to explain this to him. “I am so sorry baby, I didn't mean it” callused hands found your waist and slipped to wrap around you. 

“Get the fuck off me!” another set of hands pushed with force at his naked chest, willing him off you. “Don't you dare touch me right now” before you could even think over the words you were saying they had already left your throat; “In fact don't touch me at all” well you’d said it now and you sure as hell weren’t going back on your words. 

“What?” his frown only angered you further, you were only an inch close to tipping point, rage boiling throughout your veins, and if you let yourself you were sure you were about to start kicking, screaming, throwing both fists and any object within range at the walls as well as Eddie. “I said DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME, don’t even come near me you’re disgusting” venom was laced in your words as you spat the insult at him. 

“Really you think I’m disgusting?” the annoyed disbelief in Eddie's tone made you actually want to cry, it was as if you were talking to a wall, he wasn't registering a single thing you were saying to him other than the fact that you were having -in his opinion- a bitchfit. You turned away from him in desperation, not being able to look at him. When your eyes fell onto Eddie's bedside table you found the perfect evidence to your point. Stomping over to it you held up the pair of black boxers oh-so carefully thrown onto his lamp. “This Eddie, this is fucking disgusting” you held the underwear up by the waist band to him in show. 

Meeting his eyes you found them wide and swimming with fear, you frowned in confusion, looking back to the underwear and then the bedside table and then you found the icing on the cake, the cherry on top. 

Next to a knocked over bottle of lotion were multiple scrunched up tissues. Dropping the underwear you picked one of them up, holding it out for him. “Is this cum?” the disbelief in both your voice and face caused for an unreadable expression on Eddie's end. “Is this actually fucking semen I am holding right now?!” The wrinkles in Eddie's nose, the scrunched fearful pout and half lidded eyes, forced closed with the movement of his cheeks told you everything you needed to know. 

“EEEEWWW” you screeched, “THE BIN IS RIGHT THERE! RIGHT THERE! Oh my god, I can’t, I’m fucking leaving, fuck this” you stormed past him out in to the open area again. “I am really really sorry” his pleading was lost on you. “Don't” you held a hand up to silence him, “When I come back all this shit” you waved your hands around to showcase the apartment, “-better be gone and properly cleaned up” 

“Wha- Where are you going?” 

“I don’t fucking know but I can’t be here” 

“No baby, please let's just talk about this” his hand reached out to stop yours from grabbing the handbag next to your duffel. “I said don’t touch me! I’m cutting you off!” he frowned at that as you ripped your hand away from him, grabbing the bag and angrily throwing it over your shoulder. “What do you mean you're cutting me off?” true confusion sounded in his words as you turned towards him. “It means until you’ve gotten this fucking shit sorted you’re not touching me, you’re not even going to look at me unless its my face and nowhere else and you sure as hell arent getting kisses, hugs” you began counting off on your fingers as Eddie scoffed “blowjobs, handjobs, boobjobs, you’re not gonna finger me, eat me out, or do anything to me and we’re not gonna be having sex for a looong time” he seemed to finally understand that you were in fact being serious because realisation crept up on his face. A slight hint of desperation showed its trace before it was replaced with mean smugness.

“It’s a two person thing sweetheart, it's not just for me, it’s for the both of us” 

“Yeah? Well I can actually survive without it” your eyebrows raised, anticipating his next words and already prepared with the ‘Oh really?’ look to shame him with. “Puh I can survive without it” he scoffed, Eddie Munson had become predictable, to you anyway, because the look was right on point. “Just last night you were texting me, begging me to go on facetime with you” 

“Couples do that, it's called phone sex” he rolled his eyes. “The night before too, oh! And the night before that as well!” he rolled his eyes harder this time “Wow you caught me I missed my girlfriend jesus christ” you weren't really believing the words you were about to utter, but at this point he was just getting on your nerves with his stupid responses, “Ya’ know what? I don’t think you did miss your girlfriend, everything is about sex with you, it wouldn’t come as a fucking suprise if you’re only in this relationship to get your dick wet, bet all those fucking ‘I love you baby’, ‘I wanna get married and have kids with you’, ‘You mean the world to me’ don’t even mean shit” you whined his quotes, hurt began to show on his face but you chose to push through, “You’re just a fuckin’ manipulator, saying shit cuz you know it’ll get you some” 

The hurt feelings etched in his face dissipated and replaced with anger not unlike your own, “You know that's not true! You know you’re the best fuckin’ thing in my life. Jesus Christ I’m so fuckin sorry I didn’t clean up after myself when literally no one was around to fucking see it! I’m SO sorry that I just wanted a relaxing weekend after slaving away working on trashed cars for clients who treat me like shit!” it was your time to scoff as his voice raised and he was close to shouting. 

The whole thing was too much, nothing had prepared you for this, all you had expected was to come home and spend some quality time with your boyfriend. “I can guarantee you my work is much fucking harder for me” 

“Don't pull that card” 

“Oh no, no I will. Do you have a boss breathing down your neck, pestering you to do his and everyone else's work? No. Do you have 13 hour work days? No. Is your commute to work 3 hours back and forth? No. Do you have wretched coworkers who think it's ok to have a conversation with your boobs? No! Do you have coworkers rubbing up on you without permission? NO! Do you have coworkers who hit on you despite you making it clear you don't want to? Who want sexual favours in exchange for picking up extra shifts? Who threaten to rape you because they don’t get what they want? NO THE FUCK YOU DON’T SO GO AHEAD AND FUCK YOURSELF” neighbours would no doubt be coming up any minute to complain or check on you. If this continued you'd be having a police report on your hands by the morning. 

Tears were running down your cheeks uncontrollably, your voice shook while crescent moons threatened to scar on your palms from how hard you were clenching your fists. Panic spread throughout your body at retelling the tales Eddie had heard long ago, tales you had left dead and buried, tales you had protected yourself from. “I KNOW YOU HAVE IT TOUGH OK? YOU'VE HAD A TOUGH LIFE! BUT SO HAVE I! I JUST WANTED TO RELAX!!” Eddie was shouting now too, his height towering over you as the panic continued to spread, to infect the veins which pumped your blood and leave nothing behind but a rotten carcass. 

For once in your relationship the prospect of Eddie was terrifying to you. The anger in his eyes, in his face, in his whole body. Men were capable of anything, and one wrong button pushed and everything could change, you were a strong independent woman but at the end of the day Eddie was a man, and up against each other, the man will always win. 

“YOU HAD A TOUGH LIFE TILL YOU WERE SIX YEARS OLD! YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER IT!!” Anger overtook the terrifying freight that accompanied the panic, the anger was too strong to take a step back from, assess the situation and consider what you might be getting yourself into. But once the loudest scream of the night had been shouted, had rang throughout the room, you got that chance. You needed to calm down, not just for the sake of the argument or your relationship but for the sake of your body and your life. It didn't matter that Eddie could never hurt a fly, it didn't matter that he would shriek in disapproval whenever someone was about to squash a bug, it didn't matter that he still put out food for the raccoons in the alley behind the auto shop, it didn't matter that he spent almost every waking second cherishing you and reminding you of how deep his love for you ran. At the end of the day. He. Was. Still. A. Man. 

You sighed, “I’m not even gonna get into what my life has been like because I know you know. So just fuck off yeah? Clean up this fucking pigstie and don’t speak to me” you could have continued, you could have gone through your whole life story once again. You could have used the fact that your parents had abandoned you in an orphanage before you could even make any sound other than crying, that the orphanage had shut down in your teens, that you had no one else and lived off scraps, food from dumpsters and eventually soup kitchens, you could have used the fact that you ended up in the arms of a man three times your age who used you for your body and fed you delusions about his love for you against him. But your body ached, ached with tiredness, panic, anger and just about every other negative emotion, you couldn't deal with the shouting, the digging up the past, it was just too much. 

Just as he was about to open his mouth you turned and within seconds you were out of the door and out of sight, running away from the problem as fast as your legs would take you, running away just like you always did. Avoiding the problems. 

The chill night air didn't start nipping at your skin until you’d run as far as you could muster, you couldn't have known that the dismissal of changing into comfortable clothes before the flight would be biting you in the ass. Just as you couldn't have known that a shoeless, shirtless Eddie was running down onto the street in search of you but came up short, with no knowledge of where you were or even what direction you were headed. 

Once you slowed to a stop outside a closed cafe the world seemed to come into view again. Your feet and legs were aching, just like every other part of your body, tears were streaming down your face, your lungs were screaming from the pressure, panting as you tried to catch your breath. Looking around your suffering only intensified when you realised you were sat outside Another Broken Egg Cafe, the central hotspot for yours and Eddie's classic autumn dates, curled up in the corner while rain poured down the windows. A loud sob broke out onto the empty side street, nothing but the light of the street lamps to keep you company as your phone rang. Your lungs heaved as the photo of Eddie wrapped around you with a wet kiss landed to your cheek at Steve’s welcomed you lovingly to accompany Eddie's call. Collapsing onto the step of the door to the mom and pop’s coffee shop you let out a silent sob, eyes shut tight, temple meeting the wall as snot and tears alike streamed down your face. 

The ringing kept egging the tears and panic on so you clicked the off button twice, declining his call and letting silence seep into the dark night. Within seconds the ringing started up again, switching your sound off you set the phone down onto the concrete step and let your head fall into your hands while you quieted down. 

The soft cream blouse offered you no warmth whatsoever when you finally levelled to even breaths and wiped off your bodily fluids on the sleeve of it. The relief of finally letting your hair out and slipping your shoes off only lasted so long before a strong gust of wind interfered with your short lived stability. With time you picked up your phone, opening it up to see 18 missed calls and a near 40 texts within the 20 minutes you'd sat down and an extra 10 you'd spent running. 

A mixture of information texts on your missed calls from your operator and Eddies worried ranting took up the space of your lockscreen before you clicked on the latest one and scrolled up in the chat:

Roommate 🙄

This is now your funeral picture babe

Oh fuck off 

Nope promise, everybody gotta see this

You suck 🖕

Yeah but you swallow ;)

Oh gtg, meetings starting, ill . text you tonight bye love you . ❤️

Ok bye princess, good luck, love you too ❤️

10.04 pm

Where the fuck did you go?

Seriously answer me right now!

I need to know where you are

You cant just run off we need to talk about this

Y/N seriously 

Pick up the phone!!!

This is serious we need to talk about this

Come home right now

Im not fucking around

Come home

Now

You need to come home we need to discuss this 

Answer the phone!!

I know youre mad at me but we need to communicate with each other

I dont like you just running off when youre not in the right headspace

Babe seriously where are you?

Princess please pick up the phone I’m rly worried

Baby please I need to know youre ok

Please just answer the call

Or at least text me so i know ur ok 

Please baby i love you so much❤️

I just want to know youre ok

Just send me your location and i can come pick you up 

Please honey im begging you pick up the phone

Ill clean up the bedroom and you can chill in there while i clean❤️

Sweetheart i beg of you, answer the phone

Please just tell me where you are so i can  come pick you up

I need to know youre ok

Please dont just be ignoring me, i just wanna know youre ok

Its freezing out you dont have a jacket baby 

Srsly youre going to catch a cold

Y/N please, we dont have to talk if you dont 

want to i just want to know youre safe

I need to know youre safe

Please baby 

Youre freaking me out 

Please just pick up the phone 

I feel sick knowing youre just out in the city somewhere 

I just want to know youre ok 

Theres really sketchy people out here, just tell me youre safe

Please let me know youre safe???

. . . 

He's still typing in the chat when you finally finish reading his texts, a sinking feeling surrounds your stomach as you sigh, you weren't ready to make up yet and you definitely weren't in the mood to see or talk to him. 

Roommate  🙄

I'm fine. 

Oh thank god!

Where are you princess? 

I don't want to tell you but I’m ok, just give me a sec and I’ll tell you ok?

Ok baby ❤️

Thoughts were swimming around your head while you exited the app, you knew he was clearly quite worried and at least he did respect your wish not to tell him but you really didn't feel ready to explain everything to him, have to be picked up and have a no doubt long talk about the whole ordeal. All you wanted to do was to sleep. 

“Wassup sexy?” Robin’s cheery voice was what caused relief to rush through you as she picked up the phone. “Hi” your tired and admittedly sad voice was not lost on her and it showed when an almost probably equally worried tone matched the one Eddie would have occupied if you had picked up the phone. In reality Eddie's voice would have probably sounded ten times worse than Robin’s “Hey are you ok? You sound sad”. You breathe an eerie chuckle, “Yeah I’m fine, listen I’m sat outside a coffee shop right now, I couldn't handle being in the house, me and Eddie had a fight, don't worry it’ll be ok but can you come pick me up?” 

“I mean yeah of course, but where's Eddie?” 

“I’m not actually sure, I think he’s in the apartment but more likely he's either texting and driving or running around looking for me. I just” you sigh, “I just don't want to see him right now, I’m texting him but can you please just come pick me up?” 

“Course babes, just send me your location and i’ll be right there”

“Thanks” 

You send off a pin on the map of where you are before you open up Eddie's text chat again. 

Roommate  🙄

I’m on 86th outside ABE but Robin is gonna come pick me up and were going to hers i think

Ur going to robins?

You dont want me to come pick you up?

I’m heading back to the apartment i can just pick up the van and go find u

Yeah I’m sure, I’m sorry baby but I just need some time to think before I talk about it

Got alot going on in my head, just need to figure it out first yk?

I promise I’m ok, were ok, i love you so much ok?

Ok princess, just update me yeah?

Yeah i will

You think maybe you could switch your live  location on snap or something? Or share it for like an hour? Just until youre at Robins

I just wanna know youre ok, itll give me peace of mind 

Ok 

*You started sharing live location*

Thank you baby, I love you so much❤️

I love you too ❤️

Robin came to pick you up within 15 minutes, letting you rant about your feelings the car ride home and offered to sit with you while you took a bath. She helped you come to the realisation that despite Eddie's flaws you couldn't help but love him indefinitely after the past two years where your bond had grown stronger than either you or Eddie had ever experienced with someone else. Although with minimal contact throughout the evening you finally managed to make sense of all the feelings, deciding what you needed was a proper conversation about the situation you had landed yourself in and probably a little time with some space in between you to mull over whatever the outcome of the discussion would be.  Texting Eddie you fell asleep content on Robin's couch. The soft worn green pillows enveloping you in a warm hug along with the teddy fleece blanket over the pair of forgotten sweats you'd left at Robin’s helping you drift off with ease. 

–

Thanks to the cancelled work trip you got the luxury of relaxing on monday, rolling out of bed -or couch more accurately- with a slight tinge in your back. Stretching with a loud yawn you unplugged your phone and wandered over to the bathroom, plopping down on the toilet to catch up with your missed notifications. The time read 10.43 am thanks to the daily alarm you switched off the day before. 

Roommate  🙄 4h ago

Hi sweetheart, just on my way to work but  wanted to say good morning  ❤️ more

Penis hater 🍆 2h ago

Saw you were still asleep so didnt want  to wake you, going to work now, help more

Snapchat

Mommy Steve sent you a snap

Stonerboy sent you a snap

Google maps 39 min ago

You stopped sharing location with  Eddiemunson@gmail.com

A few other random notifications took up the space on your screen before you opened up your phone, responding to Eddie first you wrote;

Roommate  🙄

Ok goodnight honey, sleep well, i love you

Good night ❤️hope you can sleep  without me haha

You know damn well I can't 🙄

Today 6.32

Hi sweetheart, just on my way to work but wanted to say good morning  ❤️ I love you so so much, I’m assuming since the trip was cancelled you get  today off anyway? Either way have a good day, will you be sleeping at home tonight?... I miss you x

Good morning <3 yeah got the  day off, just woke up, yeah i’ll be at home 2night, when do you get off? 

Think its good we have that talk  sooner rather than later

Knowing he was probably busy with his heavy workload at the auto shop you opened up Robins text and responded to that too;

Penis hater 🍆

Gtg, meeting starting

Aight see ya loser!

Bye assface!

Today 8.27

Saw you were still asleep so didnt want to wake you, at work now, help yourself to anything in the fridge but theres leftover pizza if you want that, house keys  are on the kitchen table, just post them through the letterbox when you leave dickhead ❤️❤️❤️

Thank u sm for letting me sleep here, rly robs i appreciate it. Will do!

No probs, always a pleasure to blast out my eardums to cover up your snoring when I’m trying to sleep

Excuse me bitch, I do not snore, if anything your whining and thrashing around in bed woke ME up!

Making me sound like Tina Belcher when you say that… 

That was in fact the intended effect

🖕whatever bro gtg, Steves gonna beat my ass if i extend my toilet break past 30 min

You know a normal toilet break is 5 min right??

Fuck off

Robin answered within seconds of your text, taking the first of many useless breaks to scroll her phone and annoy Steve at the coffee shop downtown. You chuckled at her last text before you began your own 30 minute session of scrolling your phone endlessly on the toilet. By the time 1pm rolled around you had munched on Robin's leftovers, cleaned up the couch, and answered some emails from work, hopping on an IndyGo bus and trampling up the stairs in the early afternoon. 

You had left the change of clothes in Robin's hamper to be left till the next time you crashed at her place and were aching to get out of yesterday's attire the second you stepped through the door. You felt relieved as the newly found state of the apartment greeted you, slightly heartwarmed too but quickly dismissed, your stubbornness not letting you appreciate the fact that Eddie had done a basic human task. The rest of the day was spent in relaxation, despite the bath you had yesterday you felt the opportunity for a selfcare spa day on your day off was too good to pass up. Eddie had texted you here and there throughout the day regretfully telling you he had to work through lunch and couldn't make a phone call but that he would be home latest 6 pm. You did feel regretful however when you thought of your words last night, or more specifically Eddie's words and your dismissal of them. His work had been really hectic recently. The neighbouring venue The Two Brothers Auto Shop had lacked customers over the summer and had been forced to shut down. Their regular customers had found their way over to Safe Haven Automotive where Eddie was employed and Eddie's workload had been almost doubled and it was undoubtedly taking a toll on him. 

You decided you would apologise later. 

-

A heavy sigh escaped your boyfriend's lips as he stepped over the threshold to your shared home, immediately dropping his bags on the floor and stretching his back, joints popping audibly with the movement. Upon hearing his arrival you sauntered out of the bedroom, with a shy and admittedly slightly awkward smile, his face broke into a wide sunshine smile as his gaze met yours “Hi” he bent down to unlace his boots as you leaned up against the kitchen island next to him, “Hi” your voice was soft when he straightened up again. Wanting to make sure there was no awkward tension you leaned up and pecked him on the lips, it was best if you were on moderately good terms, you hadn't had such a big fight with Eddie before, only the occasional argument, so the concept of having to talk the whole thing through was new to you. You were adamant on it going well and making sure the environment was relatively calm was the best way at making sure it went over smoothly. 

“Just gonna go have a shower and then we can talk yeah? I brought poké bowls” he picked up the paper bag from next to his bag as you nodded, beginning to unpack all the items as he made his way to the bathroom. Not long after he was freshly showered and changed, damp hair cascading over his shoulders as he sat down on the opposite side of the couch. Despite the topic of the evening you allowed yourself to admire his sleek hips leading down to a pair of grey sweatpants, scanning the tattoos littered over his torso in adoration and smiling as you inspected his face. Relaxed and slack, neutral with no tug of his plush pink lips, beads of water running down his forehead threatening to collect in the lush lashes of what you so lovingly liked to call his ‘baby cow eyes’. 

Once he was sat with an ankle pushed under his thigh connecting to the food limp on the floor with his can of san pellegrino opened on the table and a cardboard bowl of cool rice, salmon and an assortment of vegetables you began. “So, first and foremost I would like to apologise” Eddie hummed to assure you he was listening as he took a large spoonful of the summery goodness. “I’m sorry for shouting and storming off, I didn't mean to worry you, I was just like in panic mode or something. And I’m really sorry for some of the things I said” he swallowed down a gulp of his drink while you selected a mixture of chilli mayonnaise coated tofu, avocado and rice. Bringing it to your mouth with the supplied pair of chopsticks, it would always be funny to you how Eddie struggled and became frustrated with the pair of wooden sticks and opting for a spoon instead. 

“Ok well thank you sweetheart, I too would like to apologise, I really didn't mean to raise my voice or to invalidate your feelings,  jesus why does this sound so formal? Anyway, I promise I didn't plan for you to come home to all that or the mess, I had planned on cleaning up after work today. But I guess that's not much better cuz’ as you said, it shouldn't really have been that bad in the first place..” you could sense the strain in his voice at admitting his ultimately largest flaw, but you were grateful he did and that he put an effort into resolving this. Although you had a sneaking suspicion he either practised what he was going to say beforehand or hand a secondary source on how to address you. 

“About that, I think we both know what we did wrong, and maybe how to go about it differently in the future, yeah I do not like how formal this sounds either” the laugh that rumbled your chest eased a weight on Eddie's shoulders as well as invited him to join. “But I do think it's something that would be good on working on… and not just for my sake but yours too, like partly I don't really want to do most of the work around here-” “And you wont! I promise” you smiled at Eddie's interruption “but you're also kind of… scatterbrained? And I think maybe working on routines could benefit you. You know like having all your clothes and things ready in the morning, that way you don't have to run up and down from the parking lot because you forgot your keycard or your phone or something.”

Eddie hummed in acknowledgement of your words, it was clear he was thinking over the idea “I mean I could try, it's just you know difficult, I can’t keep track of everything and I forget and I think if I start a new routine I’m gonna forget that too.” There was a trace of shame in his tone as he accepted yet another one of his flaws. “Ok well first off, you need a calendar, either a paper one or your phone, I think your phone would be better though because that way its almost always on you and you can write down important dates like meetings the second you hear about them” he nodded as he listened to your suggestions “Secondly, building up routines like laying out your clothes and keys and stuff the evening before, or packing your bag” 

He frowned softly in between bites of his food, “Yeah but how am I even going to manage to stick to them long enough that they become the regular” this conversation seemed to be going much better than you had anticipated. You had of course hoped for the best but still wanted to be prepared in case another fight broke out but Eddie was properly listening to you, nevermind apologising but seemed willing to do something to change for the better. 

You smirked at him slightly evilly as you took another mouthful, “So, remember what I said last night” you had said a lot of things last night “About the sex?” a slight sneer spread over Eddie's features as he realised you might be considering sticking to your word. He was right. “So Robin had this idea that if we did that, it might give you some incentive.” he couldn't help the low groan of annoyance “Ok believe me, I am not just in this for the sex, but really?..” 

“I know you're not” you smiled happily, you knew that even before you’d said it “But it might motivate you to stick to your routines until, like you said, they become regular. Just until you become used to it” his head rolled back on his shoulders, trying but failing to suppress a whine, he didn't want your actual idea of him to be a man-child. You giggled softly at his reaction, there was indescribable pride settling in your shoulders at the desperation of wanting to be with you. “Ok well how long’s that gonna take?” he sat up again, placing his food down onto the table and taking another large gulp of the carbonated drink. 

“I dunno, we’ll just have to see I guess, maybe a few weeks?” you shrugged, “Weeks?!” his wide eyed stare caused for a burst of laughter from you, struggling to keep your food in your mouth, “It's up to you, how quickly you learn and how motivated you are to actually do this” 

“Oh i’m very fucking motivated”

“So you’ll do it?” 

“I will, on one condition”

“I’m listening” 

“I still get to kiss and hold you”

A wide smile cut over your face and you nodded “Ok deal”. The rest of the evening was spent eating your delicious meal and both going over arrangements as well as talking through feelings and solutions. It had been weighing on you ever since the original apology, you weren't sure if you wanted to address it or even accept it but judging by the honesty and will Eddie shared to improve you decided it was best to communicate about his too. 

“Ok so there was one thing I wanted to kind of talk about too” his hand reached for the remote control and paused the display of Rick and Morty on the old TV screen, looking down at the crown of your head where you sat leaned on his legs crossed at the calves, your back against his chest and head resting on his shoulder. “It doesn't really have much to do with you, more myself, but I dunno I thought it would be good for you to know or something” 

“I’m listening” he placed a kiss to your hair, inhaling the scent of the various products embedded in the fibres of each strand from your bath. “Well I don't mean this as any like attack on you or that I have any specific feelings towards you specifically about it” he had no idea what you were on about as his cheek preplaced his lips on your head, but he trusted you would explain. “I got kind of… scared… yesterday, when you got angry, and like I know i got angry too don't get me wrong” his cheek left you and in response you turned your head to face him, “It's just like, I know you would never you know do anything like that, or at least I hope” you chose to ignore the expression resting on his features and push through “But like you're still a man, and no matter how strong I am or whatever, men can still, or well they're capable… of… you know, doing quite alot” 

A sad pout tugged at his lips as he looked down at you “Baby, I am so sorry, I would never do anything like that but I should have thought about like the whole picture, with your past and all and yeah just the fact that I’m, yeah a man” the lamp next to the couch glinting in his eye made his expression all the more sincere, you smiled softly, “Thank you, I just thought you should know” the moment was so tender in the dim lighting of the room and nightfall fell behind the closed curtains of the windows, nothing more than a whisper needed to break the magical spell on Indianapolis. “Thank you for telling me baby” his kiss was equally as soft on your lips as his voice had been to your ears. 

Before pressing the button on the remote again you pointed at him “But just know if you ever hit me, I will be kicking you in the balls and reaching for my taser” Eddie chuckled as he grinned “A fair punishment” 

11 pm rolled around, punctuated by a wide yawn, you huffed a laugh as Eddie's pointer finger quickly prodded at the back of your throat, one of his regular habits he had when he saw you yawn. “Alright, I gotta be up at 5 tomorrow so I’m gonna head to bed” you stretched as you sat up, disgruntled by the loss of Eddie's warm embrace, “When do you start tomorrow?” he asked, copying your movements before gathering what was left of your meal. Your heart squeezed as you watched Eddie already picking up his new habit of cleaning up around the house, following him into the open kitchen you poured yourself a glass of water as Eddie placed the leftovers in the fridge and the rest in the trash. 

“Uh 7” you thought as he manoeuvred around you, “Alright well if you want I can drive you, just gonna have to stay later at work”

 “What? No that's ok, I’ll just take the bus”

“You sure? I don't mind taking you” 

“When would you be leaving otherwise?”

“Uh probably like today so 6.30”

“You texted me while driving??”

He closed the fridge and made his way to stand in front of you, hands resting loosely on your hips just below the arm you had crossed over your waist, the other holding the glass to your chest. “No I was in traffic” he chuckled before bending down to press a kiss to your lips. “Oh ok” you shrugged as he pulled away, raising your voice while you walked over to the bedroom to place your water down onto the bedside table “So when would you be home?”

“If I work through lunch hopefully 6 otherwise 7ish” he called from the bathroom, lathering up creamy toothpaste onto his brush. “Jesus christ hopefully this whole thing will die down soon” you pouted in sympathy as you slid in next to him, he shrugged “Eh, least I’m making some more money. Gonna buy you something pretty” he grinned before beginning his nightly routine. 

You rolled your eyes playfully, he'd already gotten the ‘I don't need you to buy me anything’ talk and was well used to it by now. “Ok well would you mind staying later if i came over for lunch?” you smiled. A gargled response came from around the green plastic dangling from his mouth while some white foam escaped his lips and dribbled down his smile line, you laughed at the view “Just answer later” your own response was muffled but only slightly as you spoke. 

He nodded and continued his vigorous attack on his teeth, something you often frowned upon telling him he'd damage his gums if he continued that way. He knew exactly what you were thinking when he was shot a disapproving glare through the mirror, he grinned wildly around his toothbrush, prompting even more foam to coat his chin, but to your satisfaction he slowed his movements to a gentle appropriate pace. 

On instinct you shot a hand out to hold his hair out of his face as he spat out the residue and washed out his mouth. Leaning over in front of you he rubbed his face on the towel to dry his face off, you almost toppled over backwards from the steep bend but Eddie was already at your rescue with an arm around your back. He slid back into his place and wrapped both arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder and watching your reflection in the mirror. “Lunch sounds good but I’m not letting you take the bus all the way across town, I’ll just pick something up along the way and we can sit in the breakroom” he placed a gentle kiss to your cheek before standing up to let you repeat Eddies actions of spitting, rinsing and drying. 

“Mm mm” you shook your head “Not the breakroom, we can just sit in my office” you answered Eddies look of question as you smoothed cool moisturiser over your face, “I can't be bothered listening to Brenda recount every single detail of the same trip we were both on” Eddie chuckled, warmth spreading through his body at the adorable wrinkle of your nose in disgust, “I mean seriously, ‘Oh my god did you hear Clarence joke? It was sooooo funny!’ like yes bro I was there, in the room. She’s recounting every single detail of her room, despite the fact that they’re all fucking identical, I swear soon she’ll be telling me about her shits in grave detail” the hearty laugh you witnessed in the mirror and felt against your shoulderblades had a genuinely happy smile dazzling your face. His happiness rubbed off on you. 

“Alright, no breakroom, got it” he chuckled and pulled away squeezing your asscheek before making his way out the door “Ap ap ap” your tsk had him turning around in confusion “No touching” you smirked, “What you said I could hold you?”

“Yeah hold me, not touch my ass, or boobs for that matter, and definitely no thighs unless its 100% wholesome”

“What, that was wholesome!” 

“Mmmmn was it?” he rolled his eyes before continuing his way towards the bedroom. Soon enough you joined him to see him pull his sweatpants off, “You know I was thinking” he looked up to meet your gaze, once again the small subtle action of him trying had your heart squeezing, he folded his sweatpants up and tossed them in a drawer in the closet so casually it amazed you he wasn't making a show of it to gain some praise. “Maybe you should sleep on the couch, what with the incentive and all” 

“What?” his face fell as he turned, “Yeah, more distance ya’ know?” his silence told you everything, “I’m kidding!” you laughed as he let out a loud sigh in relief. 

You laid notice to the fact that Eddie was folding up his coveralls, tossing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt next to the pile of various daily trinkets. The small action meant so much to you, it proved he was actually trying and it made you ache in all the best ways. Soon enough you were snuggled up under the covers with your head on his chest and dozing off.

–

Tuesday morning was much less stressful than any normal one and you sat on the bus listening to Eddie rant on the phone how big the difference had been after preparing the night before, you were completely sure he was sucking up a little bit but you let him go on before saying a goodbye when you got off the bus and made your way over to your office. You were also eternally grateful for his timely arrival just as Brenda made her way over to you with her lunchbox, “Oh I’m so sorry Brenda, Eddies here but I’ll see you later yeah?” ok maybe you were known as slightly bitchy or more accurately a complete bitch in the office but you really weren't in the mood to make idle conversation with the middle aged californian lady for a whole hour. 

“Hia!” you greeted with shining warmth as Eddie passed the front desk, subway bag in hand and an equally bright smile on his face. He pecked you on the lips before following you to your office, pulling his phone out to show the near two hour time slot in his calendar that read lunch with my beautiful girlfriend. You laughed as he explained he had already started with his work on a calendar. 

You managed to make it five minutes before a knock sounded at the door, answered with your breezy ‘come in!’ Michael frowned in confusion at your tone before spotting Eddie on the other side of your desk, “Oh hey Ed, uh here's those spreadsheets you asked for” he handed you a folder and waited patiently while you did a once over of the contents, smiling when he was dismissed. 

The first interaction of your disruptions was much cheerier than the other 6 who filtered into your office to ask for advice, hand over assignments and intending to go over the statistics of paid leave. “Jesus” Eddie marvelled once the door closed “They do this all the time?” he took the last bite of his sandwich before crumpling up the paper and tossing it into the bag. “Yup, all the time” you sighed in exasperation. “How the fuck do you get any work done?” he frowned, but softened into delight as he bit into his chocolate chip cookie. 

“I stay late” you shrugged, “Why do you think I work every other saturday and work 7 to 8 or 10pm? Or well 11” the self deprecating laugh you let out had Eddie's face painted in concern and sympathy while a tinge of annoyance showed in his eyes. “Can't you just like put up a sign saying do not disturb?” you shrugged again, taking a ship of your drink “I guess”

“I really think you should” 

Lunch passed and after what felt like an eternity you were jumping out of your skin at the sound of a loud honk next to you on the sidewalk. “Jesus fucking christ!” you shrieked when you saw Eddie's wide grin peep through the rolled down window as he leant over the centre console. He saved you from a 10 minute walk from the bus stop while chatting to you about your day. 

“We really have to stop getting takeout so much” you moaned through a mouthful of butter masala, the burst of flavours sending rhythmic waves of delight and calm through your body. “I know, but neither of us have the energy to cook so-” he shrugged “takeout it is”. 

He had skipped his ritual shower and opted for washing his hands before digging in but soon he was shucking his jeans off and scrolling his phone on the toilet. You knew instantly where the text was coming from when it came through, it was comical to see the three notifications on your phone alerting you that E.Munster had liked your instagram posts and then a grey rectangle at the top of your screen; 

Roommate  🙄 now

So I know we said no touching but like… 

Can I touch myself?...

Your laughter echoed throughout the apartment while you shouted “Nope!” your laughter doubled in volume when you heard a loud groan from the bathroom. 

Roommate  🙄

But I’m so horny….

Arent you literally on the toilet?

Not anymore, I'm about to have a shower

Ah well sorry baby, nooooope

Mean 

HAHAHAHAHAHA

You know, I feel like you posted that bikini pic on purpose

Who knows

…

What?

Are you jerking off????

Eddie!

No! 

Belive it or not I am very keen on making this process as short as possible

Ur just a tease

Thats all 

Good, yeah its fun, you . shouldnt try it tho

Hahaha

Maybe I should 

No, no thats ok

Once again you were snuggled up with Eddie in bed, revelling in the embrace of apple scented shampoo, charcoal body wash and something so uniquely Eddie. 

–

To your pleasure, your day had been peacefully quiet for the first time in a month, with multiple of your staff sat in meetings throughout the day you managed to get through your workload plus some extra missed invoices and orders and even got a head start on an upcoming project. Being an accountant director for Riley Hospital wasn't always the easiest or simplest job but it had its moments. Even more so when you found the receptionist Stephanie had refilled the French roast capsules for the coffee machine and made a spread of various pastries in the breakroom. You were on a high, having a great day, topping off the icing on the cake with the mouthwatering left overs from your dinner the night before. Sometimes, just sometimes, everything in life could work out and it left you with a bright smile on your lips as you left the building and made your way over to the bus. 

The glee seemed to radiate off you as Eddie broke into a happy grin, skin stretching taught over his muscles and leaving his cheeks aching when he was greeted by in his opinion ‘absolute shit music’ bouncing around the room from the google nest in the corner of the living room with you shaking your hips from side to side, the occasional attempt at twerking while you stirred the creme fraiche, bell pepper and halloumi pasta sauce in a pan. 

After a soothing shower nearly screaming along with the music of your ‘Main Girl’ playlist you had changed into a pair of black skin tight booty shorts framing your curves under an oversized Rammstein t-shirt draped over your torso, pulled down at the front to the tips of your thighs, the hem tucked in at the back of your shorts giving Eddie a delicious view while you moved about.

You screamed in horror jumping 3 feet into the air when you heard Eddies cheery “Hey” he burst out laughing as you clutched your chest in an attempt to even your breathing. While he untied his boots you made your way over to the couch to turn Ayesha Erotica’s Hands Up! down to a more respectable volume. “You seem to be in a good mood” he commented as he began washing his hands in the kitchen sink, “I am” you grinned while going back to your cooking “Budgeting and accounting were in meetings all day so I only had to deal with some of the payroll staff” you told him as he dried his hands and began emptying his pockets onto the kitchen island. “That's great” you couldn't see his smile but you didn't have to, it was for himself, his own quiet glory in your victory, happy and relieved for you. 

“Oh and guess what!” you turned to face him “I had so much free time today I caught up on everything!” Eddie gaped in shock and pride “And and and! I even got started with the Danaher project so guess who doesn't have to work on saturday!” you squealed while shimmying your shoulders in a victory dance. Eddie laughed as he noticed the natural shape of your boobs sway from side to side with the movement before looking you in the eye “That's awesome!” you proudly nodded at him with a chirpy “mhm!” 

“So we're celebrating with trash music?” he grinned as his hands slithered over your hips to hold at your waist, “Hm I was in a mood” you shrugged and stretched to peck his lips. “Well alright then, Steve sent some texts so I’m just gonna check them and then go wash my face, Imma’ shower after dinner” you nodded and turned back to the food while Eddie circled the kitchen island and bent over to rest his elbows on the marble countertop with his phone in his hands. 

He lied, Steve hadn't texted, in fact he hasn't talked to Steve since yesterday. He was undoubtedly excited about your small victory but the devil on his shoulder controlling part of his brain took over. He just needed one good luck at you before he scuttled off. He was going to be true to his word, no doubt about it, but he didn't mind getting a second to appreciate your figure as you swayed from side to side after instructing Google to turn the volume up. 

When he felt he’d gotten what he searched for he tore his eyes away from you before his body had a chance to act and prove this little celibacy period to be much harder than it already was. He made his way to the bathroom going through his regular motions of de-stressing from work. 

“So, just got a text from Gareth, shit that looks so good” he awed as he caught an eye on the table where you were sat scrolling on your phone. In reality he wasn't sure if he was talking about you or the pasta perfectly plated up on green ceramic, but it didn't matter because you smiled and that was enough to have him matching. “Baby thank you so much for cooking, it looks amazing” you smirked proudly as you put your phone down and began eating. “No problem, came home at 6 today so I had time” the casualness in your voice was betrayed by your excited face, almost saying can you believe that?! He chuckled before shaking his head as if to remember something “Right so anyway, Gareth can't make it to Hellfire tomorrow so were just gonna skip it this week” he explained as he too began digging in. 

The obnoxious moan he let out once the pasta came into contact with his mouth had you almost snorting out your gulp of coke. “Ok cool” you continued after swallowing the liquid back down, “You got any other plans for saturday then?” 

“Well I was thinking we could do something, are you busy?”

“Oh yeah that sounds great, I mean not much, I figured since I'm free I was gonna catch up on some chores so I was planning on going to Circle Centre around noon. I need a new skirt for work, something more casual, I found a super cute denim one at Lucky Brand and stockings, a new pair of sneakers from Journeys cuz’ mine are worn down” you began counting on your fingers “I wanna go check out Hot Topic, top up on some stuff at Bath and Bodyworks, do a foodshop, and a few other bits and bobs” Eddies jaw was slack and eyes wide as he gaped at you slightly, “Oh so not much then?” he shrugged jokingly, you grinned “You can come with me, we’ll get lunch and catch a movie” 

“Sure. Were you actually planning on lugging all that back here on the bus if I would have driven over to Jeff’s?” he asked in disbelief, “Yeah” you shrugged “Figured worst case I’d just shell out for an uber” 

Eddie insisted on cleaning up after dinner even though you told him it was ok, so you spent the time on the counter talking to him about his day while he loaded the dishwasher. Finally he straightened up a few minutes after you had left to do your skincare routine in the bathroom. “Uh is it okay if I shower?..” he cautioned as he peeped through the door, “Yeah why wouldn't it be?” you frowned “Cuz’ of the incentive or whatever” 

“Oh, yeah no it's fine, I’m not the one who needs the incentive so technically I can see you naked but you can’t see me” an evil smirk was directed towards him in the mirror as he shuffled past you into the small space, dropping a pair of clean boxers and his usual sweats onto the edge of the counter. He gave you a playful grimace of annoyance before pulling at the neck of his t-shirt, you thought nothing of it as he tossed it onto the toilet lid, instead focusing on making sure the mixture of serum on your face didn't drip too far. 

Your hand stopped mid motion as you rubbed it into your skin, your jaw dropped slightly as Eddie pulled his jeans and boxers down his thighs. It had always amazed you how Eddie still managed to appear big without even being hard, and it was definitely hitting you right between the thighs as you watched him in the mirror. Almost like a gut punch but instead it was.. A pussy punch?... Eddie wasn’t even a shower, he was a grower for sure, fucking enormous when he was actually aroused. It had taken you more than a normal amount of time to get used to him when you first started dating. 

He stepped out of the denim fabric and dropped them onto the t-shirt. You got the chance to admire him completely, thick muscly thighs covered in a light pattern of hair down to his equally muscly calves. A thick lump formed in your throat and you swallowed it dryly as he stood back up from pulling his socks off. Tattoos painted perfectly into his skin all along his sleek figure, only the beginning of your own private gallery destined to show up later in life. You eyed the shape of his hips, that v-muscle that always had your mouth watering, the soft trace of his abs on his abdomen, his shapely chest that you loved running your hands over. Each dent of where his muscles and joints formed, every single freckle and mole that has one time or another been kissed by you, running all the way from his shoulders to his wrists to match the smattering on his face. 

And god his face, that sharp yet somehow soft jaw that led down to his thick neck, his bulbous nose you not only enjoyed the feeling of pecking but when it tickled your clit as he tongued your hole with your thighs circling his head. Those soft almond eyes who had a tendency to shift between chocolate, gold and deep onyx in the right light, the same eyes that were shamelessly raking down your figure as of this moment. No inkling at your own ogling, you felt the urge to copy Eddie's movements as he shook his head to rid his thoughts. 

“Uh you're… dripping into the sink” he pointed vaguely to the drop of red solution on the white ceramic, “Oh” you mentally shook your head instead and quickly brought both hands up to your face to smear the product into your skin. Behind you Eddie turned and stepped into the shower pulling the curtain closed almost all the way, the sound of cold water hitting the equally cold floor of the tub was your que to hurry the fuck up before your knees buckled. 

The first thought that entered your head when you sat down on your side of the bed was about Eddie from the good lock you'd gotten of him before you left, he was inhabiting every corner of your mind. The shape of his back and the slope of his spine that you would have loved to run your fingers along. The best part? The shape of his ass as he leaned back to soak his face in the stream of water. 

Technically, technically the incentive rule didn’t apply to you. You could… take advantage of the time alone while Eddie was in the shower… but no it wasn't fair, if he had to do it you had to do it, you'd just have to force those dirty thoughts out of your head. But fuck was it hard to refrain from thinking about those broad palms gliding over the skin of your thighs, grasping desperately at your tits, your hips, your ass. Your own hands snaking through his curls, tugging harshly as his lips wrapped around your clit and he did one of his moves that always left you breathless and writhing, sucking harshly at your nub while his tongue worked up and down behind his lips. The feeling of his thighs pressing at your own, one arm on the mattress to prop himself up while the other led his cock to your opening, wrapping around your waist as you slowly felt his big, fat head, dribbling precome pressing at your entrance, and force himself into you. That delicious fucking feeling when the ridge of his head connecting to his shaft caught at the skin surrounding your sopping wet hole, suctioning him in before he bottomed out with an unbelievable loud groan. It didn't matter how many times you’d had sex, he would always sound as if he’d gone 50 years without a taste and finally got one. 

A tingle fluttered through your legs, its nest sitting low in your belly, tickling everything surrounding cunt. You managed to snap out of it just as you hear the pitter patter of water droplets slow to a halt, you took a deep grounding breath, you could do this, you just had to keep your mind on other things. This was a good idea right? Robin hadn't been off her rocker when she suggested it, right? 

No this was right, this was good, it was helping Eddie set routines for himself and it would make your life easier. Cleaning had always come as an automatic response to you, it was therapeutic to sort through random collections of things, to do laundry, wipe down every surface but with the added stress of your less than a year old promotion it had slowly crept up to being too much. Sneaking its way to push you over the edge and have a mental breakdown, probably more serious and destructive than the one a few days ago. Having Eddie helping out was going to be good, it might even help release only a tiny bit of tension in your shoulders through the workday. 

You shouldn't take it for granted, your life had imploded and shattered every single piece of you but you had built yourself back up slowly, gotten your shit together and taken nightly college classes while bussing tables and gotten yourself a degree. A degree that landed you a steady job and an even cushier promotion within less than two years, something not a lot of people could say they had managed. You were eternally grateful and privately very proud of yourself for not letting the world beat down on you and crush you to a pulp like it had so many other people. 

But you were similar to the rest of the public in the same way that work took it out of everyone. You could admit that begin a high ranking boss at the age of 25 was undoubtedly hard but you would never admit that sometimes it was just too fucking hard. There were so many stressful things added to the whirlwind of your mind but maybe not worrying about having to pick up toilet paper on your way home from work at 10 pm or obsessing over how to schedule cleaning the bathroom into your hectic day might make the whirlwind slow, maybe only slightly but it would still be an improvement. 

So no you weren't going to acknowledge those scenarios and feed into them, you were going to let the decision stay firmly planted in place. You could wait, you had gone 19 years without having to qualm those ideas and you sure as hell could go a few weeks, maybe months if you really set your mind to it. But you really, really hoped Eddie would get his shit together in time and not let it go that far. 

To distract yourself you decided changing into a loose threadbare tank top and baggy shorts and then scrolling Tiktok was the best suppressor of those not so innocent ideas. Wrapped up in the robotic voice of a reddit story while glued to the minecraft parkour on the bottom Eddie came into view in the doorframe. Arms stretched above his head he wrung his hair through the orange towel, squeezing out the access water before patting the droplets on his shoulders away. Every single small detail you noticed, when he hung his towel next to yours on the hooks on the back of the door instead of dropping it on the floor, when he tossed his previously worn clothes on the bed and began syphoning through them, picking out everything but his jeans and tossing them into the clothes hamper, folding the pants up and dropping them onto the already folded coveralls on the floor instead of leaving everything in a heap by his bedside table. How he disappeared into the kitchen to collect his pocket trinkets and collected them on the floor next to his work clothes and how he retrieved a fresh change from the closet to join the other clothes on the floor. 

“So what are we watching?” he leaned over to catch a glimpse of your screen “God those videos are always such bullshit” he chuckled as he dropped down onto the mattress, copying your stance and curling in on his side, palms pressed together under his cheek. “Mjeh good entertainment” you shrugged, locking your phone and tossing it on the space of pillow between you. He stretched forward and placed a peck on your lips before pulling back and gazing over your features. 

You never understood his thought process but he always insisted you were beautiful, even with your face in a light shine from the oily products and otherwise bare, with your pimple patches littered across your irritated skin, with your soon to be put in mouth guard. He always adored you, every single part of you, no matter good or bad and you in turn adored him for it as well as simply adored him for him and his own quirks, just as you were doing now. 

A hand reached out and you twisted one of his loose curls around your soft finger, “Always loved your curls” you whispered with a gentle smile, “Yeah? Shame you can only adore them in the mornings before they somehow just frizz during the day” he rolled his eyes in annoyance. “I told you to use curl cream babe, I even got you one” you lovingly sighed “Yeah well it's too much work if I gotta do it every single day” he frowned as you pulled away from him and dragged yourself out of the bed. He didn't get an answer to your sudden disappearance till he turned around and saw you rushing back with a white and pink tub and a hair brush in your hands. 

“Sit up” you instructed as you pulled his towel down and walked up to stand between his legs as he sat up at the edge of the bed, his hands instinctively went to touch your thighs, remembering last minute and opting to graze the backs of your calves. “You can touch my thighs” you giggled and his hands eagerly found the backs of your thighs as you draped the towel around his shoulders. 

It went unbeknownst to you how adamant Eddie was on keeping his eyes on yours but ultimately failed as his gaze travelled to your boobs, the position he was sat in and the fact that your old t-shirt was sagging with age did not play in his favour like it usually would. Your tits were right in his face as you led the brush through his wet strands, his hold on your thighs tightened immensely, “Is that wholesome?” you tutted while keeping your attention on his hair. He tore his gaze away from you and grinned devilishly “Yup” he popped the ‘p’ while you rolled your eyes. 

Shutting his eyes was a better idea, now this time the position he was in did play in his favour, the feeling of your hands working the gel through his hair soothed him and he relished in the tender moment. Humming with pleasure as you began scrunching his hair to form curls. “You know if you just used a claw clip instead it wouldn't be straightening your hair out and tugging on it like a hair tie does” he frowned slightly disgusted as he opened his eyes to look up a you, “Yeah sorry babe I’m willing to do a lot for you but a girly ass clip in my hair is not one of them” frowning you responded “It's not girly” “Well it's not metal. Name one metalhead or rockstar who wears a claw clip” his eyebrows raised at your silence “Exactly” 

“Whatever” you muttered but there was no trace of unamusement in your tone as you picked the tub up, holding it over his head you began placing it back on again but the sticky residue on your hands forced the lid out of your grasp and behind Eddies back, muttering a ‘shit’ you wiped your hands on Eddies towel covered shoulders before leaning forward and picking it up. 

Mind you it hadn't been intentional, simply a natural reflex but in the process your boobs squished right against Eddie's face as you caught hold of the pink plastic. You thought nothing of it as you screwed the top shut but Eddie did. Oh he definitely did, a deep red blush crept up onto his pale face as his eyes widened in horror. 

Something so simple, so small, literally accidental had Eddie's depraved body reacting in no time, it had only been 6 days since he last got to touch you in any sexual way (3 days of mock celibacy) but blood was rushing down south faster than he could say ‘boobs’. “Alright, I wanna watch Bob’s Burgers now” you announced while placing the product down on your vanity table and hanging his towel back up. He propped himself up against the headboard “Uh yeah ok” his voice was hoarse and strained as he spoke, prompting you to turn in concern while picking up his laptop. “You okay?” 

He cleared his throat and slumped in relief when his voice came out even “Yeah fine” panic rang through his body as he watched you climb up in front of him, intending to settle between his thighs. “What-what are you doing?” he stammered nervously, a confused incredulous frown was passed his way “Sitting down?” before he had a chance to protest you were sat upright between his thighs pressing your pointer finger to the touch ID of his macbook. 

Once you’d opened up a new tab and found the show you leaned back against his chest, he cringed while his whole body tensed “Are you hard?...” he instantly went into defence mode “In my defence, you shoved your tits in my face! Like right in my face” you laughed heartily as the theme song began to play “What these old things?” two hands squishing your tits together with a jiggle had a strained mixture between a whine, a cough and a laugh tumbling from his lips. 

“Okay seriously how are you still hard?” one episode had passed and you were still feeling the press of his hard-on at your back, “Do you even realise how you're sat right now?” 

“No?”

“No? Well let me paint you a mental picture, you're leaned against me, on my dick mind you and giving me the perfect view down your top”

With an eye roll you pulled your tank up “Happy?”

“Not really, I miss them” 

By the end of the night you were giggling at the banter passed between you and snuggled up to him again. 

– 

With each passing day Eddie's problems both became better and so much worse, he was getting used to his new routines and the calendar really was working wonders for him, he knew exactly when and what cars he was supposed to be working on and what meetings he had. It allowed him a better view of his day and even cut a whole useless hour off his work day! Both of you were eternally pleased and happily discussing it over lunch at the mall on the saturday. 

What he didn’t bring up however was that it was becoming increasingly harder to stay away from you, flouncing around in towels or minimal clothing, checking yourself in the full length mirror on the living room side of the bedroom door, twisting and turning to make sure those skin tight pencil skirts were perfect and buttoning up your blouses, swaying your hips to music while leant on the kitchen island working on whatever economy plan on thursday to ensure you could leave early on friday, stood up mind you, ass moving from side to side directly in view of Eddie on the couch. And now! Sat talking to him, excited as ever, purely innocent with those tight fitting jeans and that scooba-neck red top.

Everywhere he looked you were there unconsciously enticing him. He almost lost it when you gave him a spin from the dressing room showcasing each item. The long denim skirt you wanted for work, the so-called ‘casual’ blouse which absence of buttons gave him a show of the press of your tits in your bra, the sheer mesh dress, that other dress that just enhanced every single beloved curve of your body and to top it all off! that stupid skull corset top that made his eyes almost pop out of his sockets when you appeared from behind the curtain. It was all too much!

“So what movie did you book?” you look up from your Taco Bell quesadilla to find him quickly un-tensioning his screwed up expression, “Uh well there wasn't much choice and Nancy kept nagging me how much you would love Barbie so i booked us two tickets for that, starts at 4.30” 

“Nancy said I would like Barbie?” you laugh, “Something about the backstory or meaning behind it I can't remember” he shrugs mindlessly picking at his nachos, “Apparently it's not like, about Barbie? I didn't really understand what she meant she was being super unclear, I think she was drunk” you chuckle and shrug “Alright, but if its a girly love story I am leaving” 

“Yeah and I will be two steps behind you” he laughs. 

As you sit enveloped in the red and black satin and leather interior of Eddies done up van the both of you rant excitedly about the movie, passing back and forth on the advertising, the attention to detail and general direction and idea of the movie. Laughing about how out of place the two of you -especially him- looked in the theatre filled with pink frills and hearts on almost every single patron. 

–

He manages to make it till Tuesday -a shocking 12 days- until he finally snaps. “What is that?” his eyes bulge from his spot on the bed, head propped up on an arm behind his head with his ankles crossed. Lounging in his Korn t-shirt and his regular grey sweats scrolling through Twitter (you and he both refused to call it ‘X’). You turn in the midst of shucking your skirt down your legs, stepping out of it and folding it on the bed you ask “What?” you frown confused as you peel the nylon tights off too. Deep blood red lace with elastic bands crisscrossed everywhere coming into view. “The underwear” he eyes are wide, hand gesturing to your body, phone completely forgotten. 

“Oh, well I had an interview with the vice president of Danaher today” if possible his eyes grow even wider, “I’m sorry?” you roll your eyes at the idea that popped up in his head “I wanted to wear something sexy, ap ap before you start, it was for confidence” you tut and  hold a finger out to him before beginning to unbutton your blouse. “Ah, thanks for the clarification, we would have been having a way worse situation on our hands than last sunday right now otherwise” you roll your eyes again. “Ok but why is wearing sexy underwear for confidence?” confusion shows in his face before he goes white as a ghost at the matching lacy blood red bra underneath your thin under-vest. 

He barely manages to register as you begin to explain “Well surprisingly enough you're not the only one who likes it, makes me feel sexy …” your words go in one ear and out the other as you begin busying yourself with hanging your clothes up, with your back to him his eyes rake over your figure. The soft slope of your shoulders, the shapes of your back, the meat of your hips down to the round fat of your ass, delicate lace nestled between your cheeks, your doughy thighs, down to your smooth calves and  ‘no show’ socked feet. He always used to giggle at how funny the socks looked, like ballerina slippers, not covering anything insisting they were silly when you explained they're so they don't show under your heels, he wasn't saying anything about them now, in fact they weren't even in his line of view. 

Now his throat was closing up, a stone planting heavily in the pit of his stomach and all blood draining from his brain, all rushing south at the view of you in action, body moving gracefully across the fluffy rug on the floor while talking a mile a minute about your meeting. He couldn't even find it in himself to feel guilty for not listening, the cogwheels in his brain stopped turning long before he crudely adjusted himself in his boxers, the electricity in his most vital organ powered out, he was starstruck, the only things working in his body were his eyes which were following you every move and, his dick. Within seconds he was feeling the throb and ache in his groin, desperate to touch you, touch himself, anything to just give him some sort of release. 

Everything set in motion so fast he felt as though he was experiencing motion sickness, the view of you leaning up to grab your towel ripped him violently out of his trace. “Where are you going?” your huffed amused with a soft frown “I just said I was going for a shower”. He scrambled quickly from his lounging on the bed, knocking his phone to the floor in the process but paying no mind to it as he desperately tried to come up with a reason for you to stay. “You look sexy!” he blurted it out and immediately cringed at his own inability to just be smooth. You huffed a laugh again while your expression remained the same “Thanks?” 

“Uh… uh… dinner!” could he stop just blurting things out?? Jesus christ. “Uh dinner, what-what do you want for dinner?” 

“Oh, I was thinking we could either order pizza or see what we have at home, do some rustle up, cuz’ we really gotta stop eating takeout” you laughed and -much to Eddie's pleasure- began stepping back towards him. “Yeah yeah we could order pizza” he nodded vigorously, “Really don’t wanna eat healthy do you?” the laughter had Eddie's desperation rising through the roof, the sound like music to his ears. “Nope” he felt like his skin was on fire as you stood right in front of him. 

“Alright well can you order my usual and I'll hop in the shower” his brain was working a mile a minute to prolong your stay and therefore his reciprocation of your kiss was utterly mindless as you bent down to peck him goodbye. “Or we could watch a movie?” before you had a chance to step away his arms were wrapping your thighs in a hug, almost causing you to buckle into him. “We need to eat babe” 

“No I mean instead of the shower” 

“I need a shower too” 

“No you don’t” your frown prompted his odd behaviour, he stretched up awkwardly on his feet to lift up your arm taking a whiff of your armpit he went “See? Your fine” your arm snapped back to your side as Eddie fell back down onto the bed, “Ok, what is going on?” he searched for words in the puddle of sludge that was currently his brain, clearly in thought as his eyebrows furrow in consideration. “Are you ok?” your frown prompts the sludge to just spew out of his mouth, no thought beforehand just desperate for you “Ok listen I’ve been like really good with the routine and stuff, like it's been almost two weeks and I've kept it up everyday, yeah? So-” 

You cut him off “Technically it's been 10 days” he was quick to interrupt you instead, “Either way I’ve been holding up my end of the bargain and I’ve really really tried to enforce the things you suggested and I-I think I’ve been doing really good! So like I think we should quit with the incentive because its worked and now I know what to do and I’ve improved and also like we haven’t had sex in nearly two weeks and you walking around in those work skirts and short shorts really isn’t helping because like I can’t even jerk off and I’m so fucking horny all the time because you always looks so beautiful and so fucking hot like you don’t even have to do anything and you still make me hard and I can’t do anything about it, like I can’t even let myself think about it because then I’m gonna get like actually, properly, really, really fucking hard and then- then I know I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. But like I promised you and I really want you to trust me and that was a part of the deal and its just really important to me that you-” 

“Ok jesus dude, chill, take a breath” you prompt, making a show of a big inhale as he does. “I just-” “SHHHH” you hush desperately and press a finger to his lips to stop him from rambling again. “You’ve really tried?” he nods viciously “And you promise you're going to continue with the calendar, the packing, replacing the bag when you take out the garbage, capping the toothpaste, throwing away receipts, taking your hair out the drain, drying the floor after a shower, all that?” 

“I promise.”

You eye him for a second, scanning for any insincerity in his face but you come up short, “Ok, yes we can have sex again” you smile as his face breaks out in pure excitement, just like a child promised candy “Thank god” he breathes, immediately leaning in and trailing kisses up your stomach “Wait, now?” his expression as he looks up at you is an awkward mix between complete and utter desperation, humiliation and hopeful questioning, begging for you to say yes, “I mean… only if you want to” you pout slightly at him “I gotta’ shower though” his face falls somewhat “You can shower after?” he can't decipher all the emotions coursing through him but he needs you to understand: “I don't want to pressure you, I totally understand if you need time or if you're not in the mood or whatever” 

His hands begin to rub up and down your thighs in wholesome comfort before your face finally shifts “What are you stupid?” before he has time to even open his mouth to respond your towel is dropped to the floor and you're pouncing on him. Knocking him back you straddle his thighs while desperate kisses are exchanged, the first one knocking the wind out of him. 

Arms wrap around his neck, one hand making its way through his relatively organised curls -thanks to the new routine of running curl cream through them-. His hands find purchase on your hips before one snakes its way to grab hungrily at the meat of your ass, moaning into the kiss as you shift against him. He’s quick to roll you over onto your back, your foot making contact with the bedside lamp and knocking it over violently, neither of you even flinch at the sound of breaking glass and neither of you definitely don't make an effort to pay any attention to it. His hips find comfort bracketed between yours, strong hands roam your body in ravenousness, gripping, squeezing, palming at anything he can get his hands on, the side of your ass he can reach between your body and the comforter, your thighs, your hips, your breasts, your shoulders, literally anything. 

Yearning to just get his hands on you, the spread of your thighs allows your panties to bury between your folds making the roll of Eddie's hips cause for a delicious feeling of relief to the impending ache that suddenly appeared. In all seriousness it had been there since the first day away from him, slowly building and residing in the shadows just as a hungry beast, ripping away from its nest to lavish in the face of a delectable treat. Your own specific beast's food of choice; Edward Munson. 

He pulls away from you to rip his shirt over his head, this time not giving a flying fuck about putting it in its correct place and blindly throwing it out of his way, another loud disturbance goes unnoticed by the both of you as it catches onto your jewellery stand and it tumbles to the floor. His hand is back on its rightful place on your hip while the other cups your cheek, the tender touch not in chorus with the feverish kisses laced with desire. To your short lived dismay his lips leave you but within the matter of milliseconds they’re pressing fervent kisses down the side of your neck. Each touch of his lips like hot fire stroking the thirst of the embers embedded within you. 

Desperate whimpers sound through the room when pain strikes some of his kisses, smoothing his tongue over the flecks of deep purple and red threatening to bruise. His hips find a tempestuous pace grinding against yours, his concealed cock forcing angrily at your increasingly wet cunt, his large head, which, you've admittedly thought about a lot, catches on your clit, teasing a whine from your throat at the action. 

Every harsh press of his plump lips against the skin of your chest was addicting to him, the simplicity of just feeling you flush against him was like ambrosia the gods had promised. Each roll of his hips laced with unfiltered and raw desire, not even nearing the desire of appeasing the burning fire nestled between your thighs. His hand coming down to hold onto your other hip gripping you furiously in rhythm with his other, you would no doubt have equally as harsh if not more deep bruising than the work of art on the column of your throat and descending, 10 equally dark marks would be appearing within no time, all for you to remember his desperation for the days to come. 

Panting you manage to prop yourself up on your elbows while Eddie makes his descent down your stomach, thumbs digging into your pudge just as his lips. You breathe heavily through your sentence “As much as I love this baby I wanna do it properly” all he needs to do in response is stand up to encourage you to hoist yourself up to lay your head on the soft pillows. You giggle as he places a hand on the mattress and jumps up, landing to straddle your thighs, not even catching his breath before going back to pressing his lips against yours. 

His next action has you bursting into a fit of giggles, he reluctantly pulls away from you before announcing to the room “Hey Google! Play my playlist Smexy time ooh ooh” he grins down at you, her response of playing the request forgotten with the hunch of his back as he sits back on your thighs -careful to not crush you- and captures your lips once again. 

When your hands move behind your back to unhook your bra he makes quick work of grasping onto your wrists, “Can you keep this on?” he breathes against your lips before you nod. You squeal when he rips the cups down with no caution, letting your tits spill out. If there had been any sort of breeze in the room you wouldn't have even had the chance for your newly exposed flesh to experience it before his hands are on you. 

Between a mess of sloppy, hungry kisses you manage to breathe out “Need to get my hands on you” a smaller set of hands push at his shoulders, as he sits up a heavy pant plays in your ears while you pull at his thighs, he manages to shuffle further up your legs but having no chance to settle before your fingers are dipping into the hem of his sweats and boxers. A breathy laugh prompts his own as his cock bounces up to slap his stomach, catching your chin on the way before falling back down again. The tip of his cock nudging your chin prompting you to pull away slightly. 

Too eager and with too much yearning burning the insides of your body to make a joke or even tease him with your tongue you make quick work to wrap a hand around him, pumping with the pace of your mouth which lips immediately wrap around his tip, one quick suction before swallowing down half his length. The continuous dribble of precum coats your tongue and you hum at the taste of it. The voluminous groan that rips from his chest feeds and tames the fire within you, boosting your ego as it is unrelenting. “Fuck, feels so good” he all but whimpers at the feeling of relief after a steady build of tension in his body form the past two weeks.

You moan around him at his praise but that only spurs on his salacious mix of whines and whimpers, his head falls from the weakness in his neck, all strength currently being sucked out of him, he manages to catch himself with a hand curling around the headboard, his other quickly finding your exposed breast and palming at it with dexterity. “You don't know what you do to me” the absence of oxygen in his voice has the roaring fire in your cunt threatening to burst at even the slightest touch of friction. 

The coating, hot arousal seeps from your hole allowing your folds to glide against each other as you plant one foot firmly on the bed and make work to rub your thighs together. The fabric of your panties bunching around your clit causes whines to vibrate around Eddie's cock, sending shudders through his body as he holds onto the headboard in a deathgrip. Even the hint of friction at your clit isn't enough to relieve you of your searing ache, if anything it spurs it on. The frustration at not being able to soothe the beast has you sucking and squeezing harder at his shaft, the hand rips away from your tit to plant itself against your scalp, the strength with which he holds onto your hair threatens to pull each strand out right at the root. 

It takes everything in him to pull away from you and in turn pull your stubborn ass off him, you whine defiantly at the loss of contact, looking up at him with an angry frown. “Don’t be a brat” he breathes “I cant -fuck- I wont last” you jut your chin out in an annoyed are you kidding me? as his hand pulls away from your hair to push his own away from his face. “I really do not care, we can just go again” your hand is already wrapping around the midriff of his cock, trying not to tug too hard but desperate to get him back into your mouth. “Wait wait!” he calls “Whaaaat?” you whine, hand releasing him and smoothing up and down his thighs “Please baby, just need your cum” your words have his eyes rolling to the back fo his head with a “Fucking christ” 

“Just gotta-” he trails off, replacing your hand with his around the very base of his cock, he arches his back to move his hips closer to you. A self assured, evil laugh bubbles from his chest as he lines his cock up to the bottom of your chin, admiring the view as his tip reaches just past your hairline. You make a show of rolling your eyes at his massive sexual ego, struggling to catch his gaze due to his massive part obscuring your view you voice with exasperation “Are you done?” he hums his approval, the sound giving you the all clear to very eagerly and very quickly wrap your hand around him and bring him back into your mouth. “Geez so impatient- oh FUUUUUCK” he doubles over again when he feels your fingers graze his sack. 

You hold them in your hand consciously making sure to massage more gently than the number you're doing on the rest of him. Lude slurping noises echo throughout the room as you bob back and forth trying to take him as deep as possible while still maintaining your breath. “Shiiiit” the deep whine rings louder than the shlick of spit and precum, and you take it as your que to see really how far you can go before he's pushed over the edge. You slide down slightly on the bed and open your throat up for him, forcing yourself as far towards the dark thatch of curls at his base. He actually screams when he experiences the tight press of the inside of your throat around his head, it seems the bruises you'd be bearing tomorrow wouldn’t only be on the outside. 

You reach for the hand which had previously found purchase on your shoulder, releasing him as you gag loudly, spit bubbling at the corners of your mouth, you pull off him to secure his head in the valve of your mouth, clearing your airways as you guide his hand to the back of your head. “F-fucking-” he heaves “Unreal” you press at his hand to give him the hint before taking a very deep breath and once your being forced to take him deeper again your hand grasps onto his thigh. 

It wasn't something you did a lot but then again neither was the deep deep throating so you slid your hand up to one of the globes of his ass and gave him a firm squeeze. The touch sent his hips bucking away from you on instinct, forcing his cock even deeper down into your throat. Your head hit the headboard, cushioned by his hand and allowed him to force himself so far down your throat that your nose was being tickled by the black curls at his base. God you were so glad you didnt have an upchuck reflex at the moment. “Mother fucker! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT I’M GONNA FUCKING CUM!” you would definitely have laughed if you were able to, the volume of his voice would no doubt be disturbing multiple neighbours. 

The unfortunate thing about this position, at the moment, was that you didn't get to taste or even feel the thick, heavy, hurt spurts of cum that shot down your throat. You sensed he had completely unloaded when his cock twitched and you scrambled to force his hips away from you, he pulled away and out of you equally as fast, if not faster. As you gasped a loud inhale Eddie fell back onto the bed, panting heavily and completely out of it. Your hand clutched at your throat at the pain beginning to settle inside, with an incredibly hoarse voice you managed to heave the words “Need huuuuuuuuhhhhh water”. 

Despite every single limb in his body being completely slack and feeling like noodles and despite the fact that he was still only seeing white he registered the words and fell onto the floor as he rushed to get out of bed. Dick slowly softening he ran out of the room, awkwardly pulling up his pants and retrieved two bottles of water from the fridge, water sloshed over the floor as he unscrewed the cap in movement, spilling some over your torso as he handed it to you. Anxiety enveloped him in a bone crushing hug as he watched you chug down the whole bottle of water, already signalling for Eddie to open up the next one before you finished the first one. 

Dread joined the anxiety as you panted heavily before chugging the second one. His whole body relaxed however when you threw the bottle away and gave him a thumbs up while your head rolled forward and then back to splay you across the head of the bed. “Oh thank god” he clutched his heart as he sat down next to you, capturing your hand he rubbed soothing circles into the back of your palm “Are you ok?” 

Without opening your eyes you managed a weak “Why is your dick so fucking big?”

“Jesus Christ” he laughed at your unserious response before sobering up and gently forcing your head to face him, your eyes slowly fluttered open to find his concerned expression “Really though are you ok?” 

“Yes I’m fine” you waved him off before he wrapped both arms around you and scooted further down in the bed, holding you to his chest. “I’ll go run you a bath and call the pizza place, yeah? Or maybe soup would be better” your head pulled away from his chest, you may have taken a toll on your breathing for a while but your breathing was back to normal and besides the sting in your throat you felt perfectly fine. “Excuse me where's my earth shattering orgasm?” he frowned down at you “What?” 

“You're not gonna get that and just walk away without payment” you snarked in faux annoyance, “Are-are you sure?...”

“Equality bitch” he laughed at your smug grin, pushing gently at your shoulder to get you to lie back down, just as he was about to open his mouth you held your hand out to silence him “If you ask me one more time if I’m sure I promise you I will be sleeping at Robins tonight” he laughed and nodded “Understood” before crawling over you to press a kiss to your lips. “Two things” Eddie raised his eyebrows expectantly as he pulled away from you “Take your pants off, I don’t wanna be the only one naked here, and please skip all the foreplay I’m really fucking horny” he laughed again at your directness but obliged. 

While mindlessly getting comfortable in bed and settling against the pillows you indulged in watching the show of Eddie pulling his sweats down, once again those strong legs were all for you to mentally devour. Once he stood back up you lay notice to the twitch of his cock as his eyes raked down your figure, soft and lax on the soft cotton, skin and fat alike in relaxation in front of him, despite the previous strong orgasm his body was once again showing off his affection and arousal, this time in less of a betrayal. 

Hungry eyes found yours as he manoeuvred himself to bend your knees and sit by your feet. The aforementioned black swam in his eyes, darkened with the desire of getting to please his woman. Callused fingers smoothed up your calves to knead your doughy thighs, “Oh wait” you crunched your stomach to elevate your shoulders and unclasp the awkwardly fitted bra, sighing loudly in relief at the loss of fabric digging into your skin, all he did was grin as your breasts spilled out into their natural state and gently pried your legs open. 

His middle finger ran up the soaked lace nestled between your folds, “Hey, dickwad, I said no foreplay” he only laughed but decided to comply, moving onto his stomach he moved your panties to the side, the feeling of his finger running over your slick folds at the action had you humming in pleasure. His hands wrapped around the backs of your thighs and within no time, sweet fucking relief, finally after what seemed like forever the roaring fire was soothed to a stable flame. His warm tongue ran up your folds causing a shiver to travel throughout your body before he circled the tip over your clit. 

An unnaturally loud whimper rumbled through your throat at the action and soon enough a scrumptious mixture of broad licks, flicks and circles were directed at your clit. Eddie groaned in satisfaction at the taste of you, his grip tightening to pull you closer to his face. Breathless swares and whines were replaced with loud obscenities and near pornographic moans when he finally did what you loved the most, his lips wrapped around the sopping hood of your clit only a moment before a strong tongue flicked up and down on the unexposed skin of your hood. With two years of being head over heels for this man both Eddie and you had mastered the art of not making the sensations of his muscle raw on the bundle of nerves more pleasure than overstimulation, however the action never ceased to send your body in vicious twitches and shakes. 

The flame had been controlled but now it was safely growing in strength and size. Squeezing at every part of your lower belly while steadily increasing. 

Each delicious sound that sounded about the room was muffled when your thighs clasped around Eddie's head, plush skin plastering over his ears, but this way he could feel the sounds echoing in his head through the contact. His lips unwrapped and a sweet kittenlick was rewarded to your clit, his head moved and before you knew it his tongue was tracing the entrance to your hole, once he found his place you felt that same bulbous nose press against your clit, a moan ripped through you and your hips began squirming for friction against him in sync with the strong thrusts of his tongue into you. 

The feeling of such a sensitive nervous system rubbing against the firm skin and natural oils of his nose was like lying down after a non-stop 10 hour speed walk, fully pleasuring your body in more vicious ways than anything else could do.

You were so enraptured by every sensation that you didn't even notice his right hand leave your skin before two fingers forced through your opening. He gave you a second before his tongue found your clit again for a sugary sweet kiss, his eyes found yours as he began pumping his fingers in and out of you. The hand splayed under your breasts found itself in a similar position as the other, grasping onto the sheets, tugging and disrupting the peace of the smooth covers. 

Your second favourite move Eddie did came next, his fingers stilled and began curling inside you in that classic ‘come hither’ motion, his tongue snaked its way to force above his fingers as deep as he could, working furiously to add as much pressure to the slick, spongy wall of your cunt. Massaging the flesh in line with your pussy, he had to fight a wicked grin when his nose came in contact with your clit again and you immediately began grinding against it. 

The hot burning fire was turning blue, angry and full of piping hot rage, raising your body temperature and emitting a light sheen of sweat over your skin. With each press of the pads of his fingers against you, each stroke of his tongue and each drag of your clit against his nose it grew stronger and stronger, no longer resting in the pit of your stomach but spreading to your thighs and chest. With every passing second it grew and grew until its fiery licks were targeting your whole body. Every muscle tensing, fingers and does curling to grip with immense strength, lungs desperately breathing for all consuming air, neck stretching taught with the writhe of your head against the pillows and eyes strained to roll back and find your lost mind at the back of your head. 

Each second, each stroke, each breath, squeeze, curl, strain sent you careening over the edge of the highest peaks of the rocky mountains of Gondor, the fall being stretching to 30 seconds while you writhed, tensed, squeezed and panted. Dizzying metallic rainbows pulsed in waves behind your eyelids before they softened with the landing. Chest rising up and down while pained whimpers of intense overstimulation had Eddie smirking wickedly when he pulled away from you. Nothing in the world could have the strong enough impact to pull you out of your trance from the orgasm, and certainly not the feeling of Eddie slowly pulling your panties down your legs before collapsing down to lay next to you, catching his own breath. 

His hand slithered over your side as he manoeuvred you to snuggle your back to his chest, his grin was ever glowing as he heard your consistent panting, his soft laugh rumbling in his chest and sending vibrations through your body. As you lay there in silence, slowly beginning to catch your breath you soak up the moment, You Belong To Me by Cat Pierce echos softly throughout the room while callused finger travel gently up and down your hip. You can't help the bubbling fire beginning to gather warmth as his touch stretches further, squeezing your thigh before going back up to your hip. 

It grows in heat and quantity as the moment continues, the prickly tones and raspy voice of Cat Pierce making the feeling captivating. Eddie's soft hands enrapture your senses and boast the flames within you, slowly you move in his grasp and turn to face him, deep brown eyes find yours as he looks down at you, his eyes scan your features in utmost adoration. He captures your lips in a passionate yet gentle kiss which has you sighing against him, your fingers rake through his curls as his hand grips your hip to hold you close to him while your lips move rhythmically together, completely in sync the plush pink flesh meets your own in time with your body's movements. 

Hips slowly moving against each other he makes his way on top of you, Love Surrounds You by Ramsey makes the moment all the more desperate, passionate, sexy. Hands roam the surface of each other's skin in desperation, begging to be closer, to feel each other in the way only the two of you could. 

Without ever leaving the caress of your lips Eddies hand slinks between the two of you to wrap around his base as he lifts off of you. In union you sigh loudly as his head pushes past the entrance to your dripping walls. In a well deserved slow pace he thrusts in and out of you, attaching himself to the incredibly intimate moment, in, and out, in, and out, he listens to your shaky breaths and removes his lips from yours, staring down at you as your eyes close in pleasure. 

His arms encase you and hold your torso close to his as his lips begin a trail down the side of your neck and over the expanse of your shoulder, “I” kiss “am” kiss “infatuated” kiss “With you” he sighs against the softness of your skin as you shudder. “Say it again” your whisper only barely reaches his ears but he catches it and pulls away, his eyes find yours again and you watches the gold ambers of chocolate and almond swim in the orbs of his iris, “I’m fucking infatuated with you” the gentle moan is unexpected but welcomed with another deep kiss to your lips. 

As your digits pull at his roots his hips snap against you, his thrusts building harsher and harsher “You don't know what you do to me” heavy pants fill the room as his body works against yours in an altogether delicious movement. “With this fucking body, all for me” he pants before his kisses begin to make their way all over your chest, up and down your neck, over your face, anywhere he can reach. “So beautiful, so sexy, all the time. You are divine” 

“Each breath you take is like a breath of my own, your existence fuels mine” his words ring in your ears like a loud powerful gong, “Something created this prepossessing creature that you are and I don't know what it is but it was definitely not a human responsible. Something wholly, ungodly and out of world crafted your pretty face, carved each curve of your body and wove your intricate personality like fine silk and gifted it onto me and I will spend my lifetime praying to whoever it was that they never take you away from me, because I’m selfish baby, I want you all to myself, I need you all to myself.”

The stretch of his cock and the drag of it along your walls accompanied by such powerful words strengthened with his touch all over your body had your head spinning, your eyes fluttering closed as you felt as though your body was falling into another dimension, backwards, falling, falling. You could see it, the magical flavours of the universe, colours flashing by in a chase, hypnotising you.

Eddie's hips sped up and his hold on you tightened, he didn't even have to ask, he knew. He knew you were on the edge, he could feel your body beginning to vibrate as your breath began to pitch and loud moans drowned the music out. His own breath was heavy and constant, panting heavily before groans took over. 

An explosion ripped through you as hot spurts of cum painted your walls and you screamed.

For nearly an hour you lay there, entwined in the sheets and wrapped up in strong arms, whispering sweet nothings to each other before you drifted off. 

[banamine-bananime]

AITA for trying to save my friend and keep the rest of my asshole friends safe from their bad decisions?

I (M26) just went through this real shitty breakup. So basically, my ex C (M lmao man fuck if i know his age idek if knows it. or has one i guess) has this god-fucking-awful habit of deciding to solve every problem by dying about it and/or fucking off without so much as a word to the people unfortunate enough to give a shit about him, except maybe his sister (unhelpful for the rest of us because she also inherited the "fucking off without a word" gene. man fuck this whole family for making me care about them. whatever). Also, killing himself inside peoples brains thats like a whole hobby for him. like okay either ghost us OR kill yourself in front of us altering the trajectory of our lives forever PICK ONE like a NORMAL person.

Okay wait im not explaining this well. So years ago C and W (M37 now) were partners but C was, uh, in a really bad place mentally (S is telling me this is more diplomatic to say than "crazy af") and that situationship ended as badly as a situationship can end. I mean W's told me he pretty much had his sense of identity as someone separate from C totally destroyed by that for a while, which like, in hindsight its kinda an accidental dick move that our team made him take C's legal identity, but in our defense a) the fuck were we supposed to know?, b) tbf he really did need it not to go back to prison, c) it's not like C was using his identity, on account of the fucking off and effectively-dying-as-a-solution habits, and d) i mean. i gotta admit it's also pretty funny in a really fucked way.

aw shit derailed on a tangent again

recently its just like, we just get so focused on one thing its hard to remember anything else, you know?

S is so good at getting us back on track though. thank god because you would not believe the number of irons weve got in the fire to keep track of, its ridiculous. (i love making my partner be the planner in the relationship lol. highly recommend being a passenger princess in the body sometimes. fuck massages, i'm telling you THIS is what you need after a long day getting shit DONE and taking care of everyone else's messes)

So I met C 6 years ago, right out of basic, when we were privates stationed at the same base. middle of nowhere. shit, this is gonna be hard to explain, just realized i should use different names for C to keep them straight. I knew "A" and W knew "E", i didnt meet E until years later. theyre alters and also the same guy but also not the same guy. dont worry about it if you dont get it bc ive dated both of them and i dont think i do. my life is stupid.

Bunch of bullshit happened, A ghosted (lol. you'd be high-fiving me if you knew him) and then found a problem to solve by dying. you get it by now.

Then i meet E, E encounters a problem and tries to die about it round one (i guess round two, after exploding in W <- LOL. you should be high-fiving me right now), E's sister drags him back to the land of the living, E ghosts, W and i start dating, W tries to martyr himself and disappears because i guess E rubbed off on him (dude i am on a fucking roll. you should be high-fiving me out of pity for my glamorously miserable soap-opera life if nothing else. homophobic not to), our team gets W back, E strolls back like he has no idea why im mad at him, we fight about it, makeup-makeouts about it, and E tries to die about it round two: in my brain boogaloo.

So thats how S and i meet. oops, guess i never introduced S? Feels weird to have to introduce ourself twice, people dont really meet us separately anymore LOL. S (M, ageless) is also C's alter, my partner in life and badassery and brain and body. and obviously freaky sex stuff, that goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway to brag. the swish swish to my stabbing people who really deserve it. Not really interested in your opinion on our relationship, it's not what i'm asking about. we're aware its not conventional, because we're not fucking braindead. Im so sick of all the "oooohhhhh this isn't healthy", "he's a male manipulator and youre codependent i know bc i learned psychology from tiktoks by girls with green hair", "why are you wearing your ex-boyfriend's armor colors while wearing his dead ex-boyfriend's armor while dating and sharing a brain with your dead mutual ex's alter", "have you considered going to therapy instead of a quest against death itself" blah blah blah. If youre so bored you need to judge our life then just get your own 🙄🙄🙄

we've been really on that sigma grindset the last few weeks. S has got our sleep optimized down to a tight triphasic 3.46 hours and we're minmaxing the fuck out of the rest of every day. Biohacked to shit over here. too much to do, so we have to make there be enough of our time to do it. who else is gonna? my teammates? the REDS? we're half batman half babysitter to a gaggle of idiots who can barely be trusted to wipe their own asses, let alone fight their own battles and make decisions like "wah wah wah A is dead let's just give up and cry about it or whatever".

Don't even get me started on W. Oh youre all about character-building wake up and grind self-improvement and taking leadership until we're making decisions you dont like, i guess. WHATEVER. this is why we dont listen to you.

its hard, okay. like, you cant understand the sheer fucking stress were under trying to keep all our plans going smoothly while keeping these guys safe while they're basically actively trying to unravel every carefully-laid thread and also strangle themselves in them. im probably going prematurely grey and also losing some time. its hard to remember when we need to hold back and use the kiddy gloves. i really didnt want to come to holding - uh, we'll call him MC (M25) - by the throat, passed-out. he's like a brother to me, been through thick and fucking thin together, so yeah, i feel really bad about that, my bad, we were the asshole there, but like, maybe stop throwing yourself in the way? like run out into the road you're gonna get hit by a truck no matter how hard they slam the brakes. mfw the conses quence. but im NOT asking about that. everyone's been on our dick about "please god stop doing all of this" and abandoning A and trying to break us up way before that, and THAT'S what im asking about

Anyways tl;dr are we the asshole for getting shit done when it takes methods that all our monday morning quarterback friends dont like

_____

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

it really was a dick move to dangle my teammate's limp body in a chokehold even though it was basically an accident and also not even directly relevant to the question

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might not be the asshole:

okay but we're right

[showtoonzfan]

Hey it’s been a bit! The Mammon episode finally came out, so here’s my review!

Pros:

- The sign language scene was cute. Kinda weird that a kid was seeing a show that was clearly for adults but I love me some representation so it gets a pass.

- Despite Blitz not really needing to be in this episode, I thank god he had little screen time and more time was dedicated to Fizz.

- The fish ladies (despite having wonky color palettes that made them EXTREMELY hard to look at) were cute.

Cons:

- Mammon is so flat and uninteresting but I don’t know what I expected from a creator who always hypes her characters up that always end up being one of the three go-to personalities she picks for her male characters. In Mammon’s case he’s just a loud mouth cursing bum so way to ruin another Deadly Sin and make them boring af, moving on.

- I don’t like how Mammon and Fizz’s relationship are similar of Val and Angel’s, Viv keeps recycling stories, characters and plot lines ect, it makes Angel’s story for Hazbin really predictable/underwhelming and not exciting to look forward too especially since we already have the “mafia bad daddy” aspect to him too that they pulled for Moxxie. I guess the idea of Mammon being a controlling ruler is fine on paper but not much is done with it, Fizz just quits in the end like it was easy with zero consequences so what was all that build up for.

- Fizz himself once again feels REALLY out of character, he’s just too soft compared to how he was introduced in season 1. He’s constantly nervous in this episode and insecure, as well as walking on eggshells, and even in Oops he wasn’t THIS sensitive. I’m all for characters struggling and being kicked down but it has to make sense and not feel forced, and once again it feels like Viv is trying way to hard to make the characters she once introduced as snarky assholes to uwu innocent babies. I refuse to believe Fizz was actually INTIMIDATED by this random geeky imp who insulted him, as well as the fish ladies whom he was weirdly nice and welcoming to. It’s also weird seeing how uncomfortable/nervous he was around his fans when I thought the whole point was that he LOVED praise and loved being famous, at least that was season 1 Fizz. Now he feels retconned. Seeing him say “I just need this gig” is weird too, the explanation to why he went through all of this makes no sense, Fizz still has Ozzie and is famous in the Lust ring, and I understand Mammon is his idle but to go through all that abuse for so long for something that could have been so easily avoided feels forced to fit the plot, but it also makes Fizz look dumb.

- There’s confusing lore stuff regarding Mammon and Ozzie, and it makes me realize that Viv should have picked ONE storyline aka ONE Seven Deadly sin to go with Fizz’s story because this is getting mixed up. Fizz acts like if he looses this completion, he looses everything, which confused the heck out of me because no he wouldn’t have? First of all, Ozzie is a fucking powerful sin, how would you loose him? Second, from what we know from season 1, Fizz is a jester who performs at Ozzie’s club. It was Ozzie who built the sex robots across the rings of hell, NOT Mammon, and in season 2 we see that Fizz is under Ozzie’s care and lives in his house. Yet for some weird reason Mammon also represents Fizz and uses him for profit, but it’s not really explained in a way that makes sense, like Love’s art had said in her Fizz redesign video, Fizz’s job is really confusing on what exactly he does. Having both Ozzie and Mammon represent him overcomplicates things and the show did a poor job at explaining how this goes.

- Once again Viv dumps trauma and struggle onto her characters without building it up first. When did Fizz ever give off the impression that he was being controlled or abused, or even that he was so insecure and constantly walked on eggshells to be perfect. In Oops he was happy to be in the spotlight and happy to get the attention, he bragged to Blitz about how successful he was. He seemed happy to perform for Mammon and talked of him highly, and now you’re pulling an Angel Dust situation where he’s expected to be perfect 24/7 and it gets to him emotionally, while also being someone who’s physically and mentally abused. Yet another season 2 episode that wasn’t planned, same as how Millie wanting to feel important wasn’t planned, same as how Stolas seeing Blitz as genuine love wasn’t planned. Different episode, same issues.

- I’m so done with the Hell lore bro, this place officially has no rules and demons can just do anything without consequences. There’s no class system, there’s no rankings, there’s no power dynamics, screw anything that Viv says. There was no fucking reason why Ozzie and Fizz’s relationship needed to be a secret. There was no reason showing Ozzie threatening his workers to not tell anyone about his love life if he was just going to admit it to EVERYONE THE NEXT EPISODE IN FRONT OF ANOTHER SIN ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME— what was the POINT. What is the point of Stolas and Blitz’s conflict. What is the point of Stella being classist. What is the point of these class systems and rules if you can just announce that you technically broke a hell rule and no one gives a fuck and you get off scott free. Mammon telling Ozzie “you’ll regret that” like a cartoon villain doesn’t do anything either. What is he ganna do? Tell Lucifer, the character that canonically won’t appear in HB because the sins won’t appear in HH? If Lucifer rules over the sinners, who the fuck is in charge for the rest of Hell. Where’s the authority? And Mammon is just ganna come back for another episode to give the gang trouble cause lord knows we don’t have enough fucking villains already.

- It feels weird that Ozzie would just sit back while someone whom he knows is a piece of shit is treating his loved one badly. I get he was concerned but you’d think one of the seven deadly sins would have more power and authority.

- I was expecting some big gross bug-like thing to appear when Mammon was transforming into his final form, only for it to the exact same design but with small extra eyes and a spider lower half that isn’t even visible in most shots….GOD VIV.

Watching this episode also made me remind myself that this is supposed to be Hell. Seeing Fizz feel better and stand up for himself was sweet but these soft lessons and morals don’t belong in a show like this, and it’s extra aggravating regarding Viv’s double standard, how she can just pick and choose which characters she wants to be evil and which characters are saints. Overall not anywhere near the worst episode of season 2, but I am officially done with Helluva Boss so-

[eyehearthoshi]

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ bang chan as enfj tropes

pairing ⟢ bang chan x gn!reader

warnings ⟢ mbti stuff lol. generalizations about enfjs and chan (i don’t know him personally obviously). not proofread oops!

wc ⟢ 949 (she short sorry)

author’s note ⟢ chan is pretty much the biggest enfj who ever enfj-ed so i knew i needed to make something mbti related for him!! mbti is a BIG hyperfixation of mine and i’ll probably do these for other idols in the future. i apologize in advance!

(this post inspired me to research more into mbti tropes)

➊ matchmaker crush aka the main character tries to help another character get with a love interest but oops!! the main character starts falling in love with the one they are helping…

oh i can see this clear as day because chan is very focused on helping other people. (i’m pretty sure he’s said before that he likes feeling needed by others??) so imagine if you came up to him asking for help with wooing your crush, he’d be so ready because you’re his friend!!! and he wants you to be happy!!!

and so he’s trying to set up situations where your crush could bump into you on “accident” and you can spend time with them (walks in the park, coffee shop hangouts, etc.) he’s talking you up to your crush when you aren’t there to show them how awesome you are. that kind of stuff.

problem is, he’s simultaneously realizing how awesome you are.

like he already knew how cool of a friend you are, but now he’s thinking about how cool of a s/o you would be.

i think he would freak out a little bit, not because he is uncomfortable with these type of feelings, but because you trusted him with helping and now he’s out here with the biggest heart eyes for you.

enfj’s dominant function is fe or extroverted feeling which means that they often prioritize others’ wants and needs before their own. chan would probably hold back his own feelings for as long as he could because he knows you want to be with someone else.

chan would kinda be jealous of you hanging out with your crush, but he hates feeling that way cause he thinks he’s being selfish.

(obviously this could end in angst with chan still loving you as you fall in love with another OR…it could end happily because i said so!! there is too much sadness in the world ok we are getting a happy ending!!)

maybe you saw how much effort chan put into helping you and how much he cares about your happiness and you’re suddenly like “who did i have a crush on again?” you realize you’d rather be hanging out with chan instead of the person you used to like.

you’d definitely have to be the one to confess on this one because chan doesn’t want to jeopardize the relationship you already have (plus, you know, he thinks you like someone else).

he’d probably be so shocked and happy when you told him!! like finally he can share all the feelings he’s been hiding from you! we just need more stories where the enfj isn’t the second lead ok i said it!!

➋ can dish it out, but can’t take it aka main character is a coy flirt with their s/o, but if their s/o flirts back they get flustered af

yeah, everyone, i didn’t actually find the real names for these tropes, but you know what i’m talking about right??

chan sometimes flirts with stays but the second anyone compliments him, he is suddenly bashful. i feel like this would easily translate over in his romantic life too.

enfjs are pretty good at appearing calm and cool when they’re actually nervous inside so chan is probably always a little flustered when he’s flirting with you, but this flustered feeling only gets worse when you decide to flirt back.

like imagine him saying cheesy pickup lines to you all day and giggling at your reactions, but the second you turn around and hit him with a “are you a camera? cause all i can do is smile when i see you” or a “you got a map? because i’m getting lost in your eyes” he would melt.

listen, i think chan is fully aware of his powers of flirtation, but i don’t think he would know how to respond if you took the upper hand and made him blush. he is a soft boy at his core, he told me so!

❸ knight in shining armor aka the main character likes playing the role of the protector and is always ready to defend their s/o

enfjs embody this trope because they aren’t afraid to protect and defend the people they care about (which is all people honestly lol). chan definitely gives me these vibes.

all i can think of when i picture chan and this trope is that one concert where he got so emotional and cried while talking about how he’d always protect stays. like yeah if you don’t think he’d have the same energy multiplied by ten for his s/o then i don’t know what to tell ya…

i don’t think this protectiveness stems from paranoia or anything. i moreso see it as enfj’s response to caring deeply about someone. as i mentioned, enfjs love people and they would truly defend strangers. so, when enfjs have someone who is special to them, they can’t help but feel this pull to be protective over them.

also, i must say that i don’t think chan would be one of those “protective” bfs that is actually toxic and possessive. no no, he’d be more the type to have you call him while you walk to your car at night so he knows you’re safe or the one to notice if you’re not feeling well before you do and offer to get you medicine/take you home/etc.

chan seems like someone who notices small things about people and uses that to be tuned in to other’s emotions. if you were dating him, he would definitely give you his jacket when you are cold. just remember to hold his hand to warm him up in return <3

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

do you think the trio have like messy af breakups outside of each other and then one day run into a shitty ex and their new guard dog gfs go apeshit. idk i just saw ur polyphobia post and had the idea

No but can you IMAGINE a shitty ex going all like "bark bark no one else will want you bark bark only I can put up with your bullshit" and like three years later turns out the other shows up with TWO girlfriends 😭

I think they'd all be very protective of each other always and forever tbh, and considering how shitty Sasha and Marcy's families were (I at least headcanon them that way) they're all used to being on the watch for people who would hurt them and standing up for each other. Of course, being queer already puts a target on your back, but I suppose since this is LA that may be less of a problem (LA is supposed to be progressive, right? Ah, I live in an extremely progressive city in terms of gender and sexuality and I still feel under threat 24/7 so who knows how private they'd want to be?). Being three women in a polyamorous relationship may be the thing people cling to to harrass them. They mainly don't take them seriously, and either ascribe it to being an unhealthy trauma response (an obsessive, codependent relationship) or a childish game they'll eventually grow out of to enter real relationships perhaps with men oops

So their shitty exes probably mock them more than anything. That is, if they go out of their way to say anything. It's just as likely that Sasha will boldly walk up to them and start a fight simply from hearing Anne or Marcy mumble something about an ex sitting there in the other booth. Not that Sasha never finds herself in the position of being defended - I HC she used to date more guys than girls before finally getting together with her girls, which means she'd rather deal with the worst of her exes herself, no need to expose her beautiful girls to gross boys and men. So imagine her surprise when Anne and Marcy jump to scare off the guy insisting on getting back together with her, just showing up on either side of her holding onto her arms and letting him know she's very much taken. This probably happened more than once, each time being the moment they (her exes) realize she was serious about being bisexual 😭 unless she's now dating girls to spite them specifically, another common assumption. Typical cishet man behavior. What else is new. Anyway. Sasha now has to get used to the feeling of being Protected (and wanted! wanted! wanted!)

As for Anne and Marcy, lesbians that they are, probably had these huge dramatic breakups that were definitely influenced by their past trauma. I imagine Anne might have dated around a lot more than Marcy, and I remember this HC going around abt Marcy having only had one long term relationship before that ended on her being cheated on (betrayed! betrayed! betrayed!) so that's what I'm going for. Whoever this is is probably back in Massachusetts so random meetings in LA are unlikely, though that doesn't stop Sasha and Anne from stalking her online after hearing Marcy's story and maybe being less than nice to her on Twitter. Their accounts get suspended but it's worth it.

Anne on the other hand... she went through a comphet phase in highschool so you got some shitty ex boyfriends to pick up from there, though the worst were girls from college. None of them were that bad - she's good at setting and enforcing boundaries and can usually tell pretty early on when someone is alright, but still, she got the average highschool experience of being cheated on once or twice (though she didn't care much), and then the not so average college experience of your girlfriend plagiarizing your research paper. The offense may seem less personal, but it made Anne so much more mad. The screaming matches were legendary. The fact that it happened like three times is what got her to stop dating until she was out of college, but by then, like three of her exes were colleagues she had to work with, and they've become sooooo passive-aggressive. Kept talking shit about her to other colleagues too. If they found their tires slashed one day after Anne got rejected for a research project, you can guess pretty easily who were resposible.

[oh-three]

Skeleton Crew S1E5:

THE PARENTS ARE SCHEMING. Love it.

Wendle doing the thing with his hands lmaooo

Thank god for Fern's mom.

Fern's relationship with Silvo is funny af.

Love how they tied SM-33 down, with rope, as if it'll actually hold him down if he decides to attack them again.

Well, obvious Captain Rennod made it to At Attin. Didn't live long after, though. Based on the skeletons aboard.

LMAO, I knew SM-33 could totally just break free. The looks on their faces 🤣

So, they literally died hitting At Attin, that's funny af.

SM-33 is so happy lmao

Think Wim's a little homesick.

The way Silvo kept trying to walk away, gave up, and sat down next to him. He's not giving great advice, though. Forgetting his parents is terrible advice.

Oh, sweet summer child, Jedi aren't the only people who can use the Force.

Lanupa. Not At Attin lol.

Omg, the ship is in terrible shape.

Wim looks like Davy Jones haha. "This is Skull Ridge Mountain? They ruined it!" Hate to break it to you, SM-33, but that happens with everything.

She really just ignored SM-33 outrageically trying to grab her by the shoulders lol.

Dash Zentin

Finally, someone calling him out on one of his false names.

Pokkit's gonna be a problem lol.

Queue Silvo panicking.

"You take the Sensory Gymnasium, Professor Gorelox." Lmao. Deserved.

Silvo's at the end of his rope.

A HUTT.

"Just act like you belong," vs "Run!" two seconds later is peak comedy.

Dash Zentin, Crimson Jack, Mad Captain Silvo, Jodwick Zank, Jod Na Nawood, the list keeps growing haha. It's a running gag at this point.

KB is fucking amazing.

They really went and told this guy all about their adventures thus far, and it's so funny. Cthallops is kinda amusing, actually.

Oop. Company's arrived.

Fern really just said "another fake name," not knowing for sure whether or not Jod is his real name. At this point, I'm starting to think so, but I won't be surprised if it's not.

Damn, Rennod had a whole tomb down there. Definitely more tomby than lair-like.

Hey, a lightsaber!

"Refill that chamber with acid." 💀

I hate how smart that was. Silvo really just had him commit mass murder against that crew.

Lmaoo, the treasure's a mint.

He's aboutta betray them.

Jod. Buddy. Chill out.

The way the kids are actually betrayed despite telling themselves not to trust him. 😭

Wim, the lightsaber was upside-down…

WIM. Jesus Christ.

Great, now Silvo has the lightsaber.

SM-33 obviously has a loyalty to the kids. Couldn't he just…not listen to Silvo???

[lxmbr]

Luxiem when you propose first! 💍

cw: suggestive in vox and ike's. not proofread

notes: thank you so much anon!! i'm so nervous to post this so i really hope this is up to your expectations! so sorry it took so long to make but i actually had a lot of fun! 🩷

Vox Akuma -

• Vox is a pretty traditional man so i think he'd be a bit bummed at first

• of course he'd say yes

• would probably still propose to you anyway

• he might even try to "1 up" you lol

• you mightve done it at a resturant but nonono he planned for weeks to get something "better"

• he ended up popping the question to you where he first asked you on a date

• he'd ask the other luxiem members to help set up the area with flower petals and candles/whatever you fancy

• VERY CLICHE.

• he does the cheesy prep talk before he finally pops the question

• "would you, (first and last name) make me, Vox Akuma the luckiest demon on earth and join me in ruling my clan?"

• afterwards he'd totally rizz you up to make you forget he just "beat you" in a fake competetion

• after BOTH proposals you know what happens ;)

• in the end he would happily say yes but be very flustered as he didnt expect you to be the one to do so. 

• the fact that you proposed first was both hot AND sweet

• he'd still want to give his go at a proposal too though :)

Mysta Rias -

• This boy- man would SCREAM

• he'd be hella surprised

• after he asesses the situation i think he'd do that cringy white girl thing 

• "OH EM GEE!! NO YOU DIDN'T! YES IF COURSE I WILL BABE!" while jumping and fanning his face with his hands

• after the jokes he'd say yes genuinely and kiss you happily

• "ah babeeee in so surprised but..im so happy" with his  sheepish giggle

• would give you the BIGGEST HUG ™

• since you asked him he'd treat you to dinner that night

• "its on me loves..gotta treat my future wife don't i?~"

• wouldnt. stop. talking. about. it. all. week.

• he might cry a bit but he would hide it for sure. maybe only a tear or two would come out

• would be soooo clingy the rest of the day/night

• "can we shower together??" 

• in the end he wouldnt mind all that much..hes just sooo excited to get to marry you!!

Luca Kaneshiro -

• you decided that day was THE day...but..so did he..

• oops! you both proposed the same day!

• of course the 3 year anniversary would he perfect!! why wouldnt he think of the possibility that you'd do it?!

• when you get on 1 knee he'd look around with a shocked expression and would give his awkward laugh

• "WHAT?!" 

• after your speech he got down on HIS knee ans then proposed to you..at eye level since you were still kneeling 

• everyone around was shocked. the other luxiem members aw-ing and laughing

• another loud one

• he'd call back home, YOUR mom, the waiters and waitresses, the lucubs...EVERYONE

• would also be clingy af 

• couldnt look you in the face from pure shyness but you caught him staring at you multiple times

• he wouldnt stop praising you for your proposal

• "omg that was so good baby i loved it!!"

• never lets go of you, your arms and hands are ALWAYS intertwined 

• gets jealous and possessive easily

• he'd pull you away from everyone..mainly the other guys

• "excuse you IKE. my FIANCE is BUSY with ME." while dragging you toward him and pouting

• no one is ever letting you guys live this down

Ike Eveland -

• he already was calling you his fiance/wife/husband before any of this

• he panicked

• after your proposal he pulled you into a quieter place frantically without answering 

• everyone thought it went bad and they all were upset

• you finally saw how red he was and he apologized and wanted to yell "YES" in your face..but he didnt

• "y-yes..i'd love to marry you min kärlek." 

• wouldnt let go of your hand

• makes sure YOU put the ring on his hand, not him

• when you guys come back out hes holding your hand timidly, making sure to show off the ring

• "GUYSSSS STAWPPP" when everyone cheers

• takes you to your favorite place afterward for food and then books a 5 star hotel

• "come on darling...pack up your things! <3"

• lets just say...yall had a NIGHT

• tries his best to be romantic all night

• surprisingly can play it cool with you after the initial shock unlike luca

• while he might be internally freaking out he could calm you down and rizz you up so. easily.

• absolute baby boy ™

• so. SO. excited to start planning

• "so we can have half of the venue (your fav color) and the other half blue!! and omg i can have- and you can- and can we please-" 

• basically very surprisee and panicked but once he gets you alone he very quickly gets insanely excited 

Shu Yamino -

• he already knew 

• was very nervous and wary around you often since he didnt know when but he knew you would yk?

• of course he didnt say anything, he didnt wanna ruin it

• actually he didnt even tell you he knew

• was actually caught off gaurd when you did it at first

• the rest of the proposal though he was able to keep it cool

• he actually bought you a ring and flowers in preperation

• "i would..love to marry you" as he grabs your hand and slips on your ring while you slip his on

• "ah..ive been waiting for this..im so happy"

• only tells close people such as family, luxiem, and manager-san

• asks staff-san for a week off that same day for a pre-wedding honeymoon

• gets shy whenever you call him your fiance/husband and vise versa

• he adores you and is clearly SO excited

• you caught him searching for weddingspo one night when he was supposed to be working

• buys new flowers every week until the day of the wedding

• lowkey had a dream about it and it made him giddy all day when he woke up