#this man is so slept on

[amoosarte]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘, 𝐌.𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍

SUMMARY ! in which I give you little headcanons on our pole sitter, who is sweet but spicy, and eventually will drive you insane.

WARNINGS ! +18, kinks, dirty talk, public sex mention, degradation, trust me it gets bewildering, the use of google translate dutch, and just sexual word !

NOTE ! this was a request made by @biancathecool, in which i will admit was a bit long ago, but here is the req you sent and I hope you enjoy it, again thank you for the sweet words !

The way, Max is a heavy sleeper and once he is able to relax in bed there no use in waking him. It's a pro and con in your relationship, you're automatically a night owl and he uses you as a pillow in which you don't mind but he does worry for you. "Schat, want me to make you tea? je moet gaan slapen.." He says as he snuggles into you, wanting to melt his body to become one with you, and with that you place your phone down and decide to sleep.

The way, Max starts to makeout with you is somewhat rushed and heated. Max likes to dive into your lips and eat you hole, there is no chance to breathe at first but he lets you after you exchange saliva for a bit. He loves to see you so dazed, makes him melt. "did you get weak in the knees, Schat?" He says before smirking, then going to kiss you again.

The way, Max is the type to always cling to you. His hand will always be on you, he never wants to let you go. He will hold anything your carrying, he will buy you everything you want, if only in exchange he gets to hold your hands during it. "Maxie, I just need to go check if this fits me.." "I'll go with you." He's like a lost child, always by your side.

The way, Max loves to be gentle with you in bed. He loves to thrust into you while running his rough hands on your delicate body. Only sweet words dripping out in such a low voice that make you wanna release all over him. "Taking me in so well, mijn leven." "Do you need a break, or can you keep you, Schat?" Max loves to look at you in all your glory, makes him want to become one with you.

The way, Max loves talking to you in his native tongue when you're just talking in bed. His words just feel so right in your ears, like you understand everything. You try to understand, Dutch is something you're trying to learn for him. He's drifting off to sleep bit by bit and he's rambling to you, and you love it. "Ik wil een hond bij je hebben, misschien een mooi huis met twee verdiepingen? En een tuin en een grote achtertuin voor onze kinderen, ik wil je voor altijd…." He says as his hums become snores and vibration on your chest.

The way, Max is a complete switch. He can be the bottom and would love it, he loves seeing you take control once in awhile. He's a vocal man, he will moan, he will let you know what he likes when you ride him. "Again, Mijn liefje, oh oh! harder.." He isn't scared to switch into a top again, you tease him too much, and well it was fun while it lasted.

The way, Max is a introvert but once you enter the paddock, he flips a switch and suddenly he's a extrovert. He is a golden retriever boyfriend only when you're around. This makes the fans go crazy, making him get flustered easily. "Yeah, I think we should stick to this plan, unless we want to– Schat!" He quickly leaves some engineer before running towards you, hugging you into a bone crushing hug.

The way, Max was a complete mess when you first did it. Let's be honest, he was a boy only interested in motor sport, he hadn't planned having a girlfriend so soon. He was a man who has never felt a sexual touch of a woman. "Like this? won't it hurt?" He would blabber questions during sex, not wanting to get anything wrong.

The way, Max tries to not get you to met his dad. He tell you everything, how he doesn't have a good relationship with his dad, only his mom and sister. How his dad made his childhood traumatic, and how he's an ass. In the end, you meeting him is inevitable. "Nice to meet you sir." You try to kindly smile at him and his harsh tone makes you ticked off. Then Max comes to your rescue and swoops you out of the situation. "Don't worry about him, Schat."

The way, Max has two kinks, and one of them is Impact play. He loves spanking you, making your skin become red and flush. Though it only started when you were teasing him too much, he gives your ass a good spank and it makes you moan out like a whore. So you ask him to do it again and it grows on him, he spanks you and you act like a whore and he loves it. "Like that? You're acting feral, Mijn liefje."

The way, Max is sappy for traditional love. He loves to take you out, loves to spoil you, loves to slow dance with you. He loves seeing you smile at him so softly. He loves to think of marrying you one day, to only have you in his life. "Did you love the flowers?" He says as he hugs you after a long day at work, he knows it cheers you up and helps you push through the day.

The way, Max's other kink is a edging kink. It goes two ways, he loves doing it to you or loves it being done to him. He loves watching your legs flinch hard, as you grip the white sheets and moan out. He speed up and then stops making you cry, he does it more until he lets you cum. "Sorry Schat.." he hums out. The other way would be him ties up and you teasing him to the core, he's all flushed and red, begging you to let him release and you don't let him, in which it makes him cry and you love that look on him.

The way, Max would think you're too sweet for him, not liking the fact that he couldn't reciprocate the feeling you gave to him, because he simply doesn't know how too. "Maxie why are you so deep in thought?" That is a question so over used, and simply he didn't know why. "You're too sweet for me." A saying that will always confuse you.

The way, Max absolutely looks so good when you're looking up at him while sucking him off while he plays sims. Like it would be a random night and you'd be clingy and eventually end up between his thighs, he needed to be quiet because he was on call. He would muffle, grumble everything, but when he looks down at you and you flutter your eyelashes at him, he will lose it and end the call and game.

The way, Max would come back home to see you wrapped around blankets and two cats on top of you. The three things he loved dearly in one place. Jimmy and Sassy, cuddled up into your warmth while you're asleep. Max would melt while trying to snuggle right next to you too.

MENTIONS ! @landitolover, @d6za1, @ch3rryknots @louvrepool

𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉, ⟢ more!

[everytimewetouch-dot-mp3]

cang qiong dragon god shen yuan is probably like so old that time doesn’t have meaning? like he transmigrated into pidw as a dragon and and the system gave him a few missions that functionally amounted to ‘claim this mountain range as your territory and defend it from demons’

sy didn’t realize that he was actually laying the foundation for cang qiong mountain sect before its creation. some terrifying demon demigod (one of the first heavenly demons, maybe?) pursues a band of cultivators to his mountain range, and he protects them. they settle his mountains and start cultivating, and because they’re protected by a literal god (who they call lord canglong, and they name the mountains after him) people want to study there.

so cqms is born, and sy takes a nap. when he wakes up, those cultivators he saved bring another group of cultivators, all named 'wen' to his mountain, and they ask his permission to lead the peaks next. another nap, and he wakes up to the wen generation asking his blessing for the ming generation, so on and so forth up until the qing generation. this time he recognizes names: qingge, qingfang, qingqi. this generation's leader, qingyuan. and the one whose bow is shallow and perfunctory, qingqiu. ofc sy isn't super pressed about standing on ceremony or whatever—he's only experienced like six years in this world, and most of them were spent either establishing the mountain as his territory or helping his little cultivators fight off some world-ending cataclysm or other. but he remembers the scum villain’s name, and he’s not a huge fan of the way sqq’s already proving himself to be an arrogant old shit

just like every other time, after he’s met and blessed this generation of peak lords, shen yuan falls asleep. shit!!! he meant to stay awake this time, but the system putting him to sleep is just too powerful! he’s probably missed luo binghe, damnit!!! what’s the point of transmigrating into this shitty novel if he doesn’t even get to meet the only character worth the pixels it took to type him into existence??

but as soon as he sees that fluffy-haired boy curled up in one of his caves, bruised and weeping and wondering what he’s done to be so universally hated, shen yuan knows. that’s his protagonist, and he’s really too pathetic like this. he’s really just a child. and shen yuan might have been easily annoyed by the concept of kids in his first life, but this isn’t just some whiny kid. this is the protagonist. so he does his best to calm tiny lord luo down.

and at first when lbh realizes it’s the fucking dragon god canglong speaking to him, the poor kid falls on his face kowtowing and apologizing for the intrusion, but lord canglong just…asks him what’s wrong. and then listens. and then he allows binghe to…to touch his hand???? not only that, he pats binghe’s head?? and tells him it isn’t his fault??? that one little head-pat is filled with so much spiritual power that binghe almost passes out, and soon after he recovers, lord canglong sends him back down the mountain with a renewed sense of purpose. lord canglong said binghe wasn’t stupid, wasn’t incompetent, wasn’t a failure, and binghe was determined to prove himself worthy of the sect’s guardian deity’s kindness.

and when luo binghe turns to walk down the mountain back to qing jing peak, that google translate voice pipes up in shen yuan’s ear with an update he hadn’t realized he was waiting for.

[Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! Important things must be said three times! USER_002 has completed the quest {From the Ground Up}! B-points +500 USER_002 has initiated the quest {Master of Masters}! New skill [Shapeshifter] has been unlocked! Would USER_002 like to activate [Shapeshifter] now?]

shen yuan slammed the bright glowing [YES] faster than any quest the system had ever given him. that’s how he learned that he was, in fact, just naked in front of luo binghe, and the [Shapeshifter] skill didn’t come with an auto-clothed setting. thank fuck he’d already sent the protagonist away!

[hinamie]

sidelong

[dahliadagger]

sir you'll have to specify that a little

[goth-emrys]

merlin: Off again? Another week in the wilderness?

merlin: ...Eating weird animals. Being eaten by weird animals.

merlin: No hot water and no baths.

merlin: This will be the last time either of us get to sleep in a proper bed!

arthur: Merlin, i'm prepared to face all manner of horrors in this world, but if you think i'm sharing this bed with you-

merlin: *nervous laugh* what?! no! thats not what i meant-

[jacqcrisis]

I like how in the first game, Aphrodite is like 'Mm Charon? Oh, cool, yeah, you bought my boon from the boatman and his nasty trash :/ As least he's a greedy weirdo, otherwise I couldn't make head or tails of him.'

And now she's all 'oh Charon! I love him. He's so tall and strong. Of course who wouldn't fantasize about him coming to your aid~'

I like to believe that this is because, as the goddess of love, she couldn't figure out a damn thing about Charon since he's in the underworld, and, canonically, the Olympians can't feel what's going on down there. But then she saw Hermes slobbering all over him at the post-game party, and after god knows how long with Charon and Hermes being topside and pining completely platonically over each other due to their separation, she's realized Charon is a prime cut of grade A Beef as she should have centuries ago.

I'm very proud of her.

[s0fter-sin]

i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing

and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him

he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)

meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh

just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap

soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”

imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”

[nekrosmos]

Sleepy Nikolai inspired my this lovely fic by @on-a-lucky-tide because this truly rewired my brain <3

And a small blushing Price under keep reading to go with it

[possiblyawesometmblr]

[amethyst-halo]

Now I really want to see that scene in your Tangled au where Poppy cuts Branch's hair and dies🥲🥲

And then Branch while grieving heals her with a tear:D

this has been on my mind the entire time believe u me

[javelinbk]

“I can remember the first couple of nights,” he later said, “’cos you see, my thing was rape. That was my big fear. I didn’t know what was going to happen. ‘Hello, this is your friendly jailor, I’d like a favor please.’ ‘NO! Not even for a bowl of rice!’ So, you know, I slept with my back to the wall, in the green suit I’d arrived in. It was hell.”

Paul McCartney talking about being arrested in Japan. Excerpt From The McCartney Legacy, Volume 2, Allan Kozinn

[to-be-a-dreamer]

I do acknowledge that the Marvel writers were, to a certain extent, trapped in production hell when it came to adapting Clint Barton into the MCU and I do appreciate the glimpses of his comic personality that they managed to sneak into the MCU. Some of my favorites include but are not limited to:

“Look the city is-is flying. The city is flying. We’re fighting an army of robots. And I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense”

When faced with a completely unknown opponent who’s clearly some kind of enhanced the middle of a fight: “We haven’t met yet, I’m Clint.”

“Nobody would know. Nobody. Last I saw him an Ultron was sitting on him. Yeah I miss him already that quick little bastard.”

“Unfortunately, he’s still Barton” “Oh that’s terrible” Because he’s a little SHIT

“You’re no match for him Cap.” “Thanks Barton”

Hits a bullseye on the dart board half a centimeter from Tony’s face with absolutely no warning just because he can

In THE maximum security prison getting lectured by Tony Stark: “Blah blah blah…”

Actively lying on the floor after getting his shit rocked by a child: “Yeah you better run.”

Smugly, towards the aforementioned child: “What? You didn’t see that coming?”

Doesn’t tell his teammates that he’s taking them to his secret farmhouse in the middle of nowhere where he has a secret family. Also does not tell his wife that he’s bringing the entire Avengers lineup to her house. Because he’s a dramatic bitch with abysmal communication skills.

Does a stupid little dramatic flourish just to shoot an arrow into the fucking wall in front of literally no one but Wanda. Just for funsies.

Is played by Jeremy Renner, who I can’t Google without learning about his latest life-threatening injury. On brand.

Turns his hearing aids off at a bad musical

“Good thing they call you HawkEYE and not HawkEAR” “Hahaha. Block. Delete.” (100% did not block and delete)

Casually boards the subway after a whole entire car chase

“And the Challenger gets wrecked anyway!”

“How’s my apartment?” “…crispy”

“Sorry Santa!”

“You rely too much on technology” “Well my weapon of choice is a stick and a string”

“I’ve been taking karate since I was five” “Oh so last year?”

“Oh hey… I know you” Casually hands over the most powerful weapon in the universe.

To an actual literal chipmunk after he just jumped out the window of a skyscraper and landed in the Time Square Christmas tree “…hey”

“Clint where are you?” “I’m in the tree!” “What? Which tree?” “THE three!”

[soup-of-the-daisies]

sometimes i think about how sirius’ room in grimmauld place was kept, much like regulus’, basically exactly how he left it and then i just think. his brother, his mother, his father—did they think it was temporary? did they expect him to come back one day, say hello, and move in again? did they believe he ought to be left alone to come to his senses on his own? he’s no son of theirs but they kept it. he was all but dead to them and they kept it.

it’s a mausoleum without a body to bury. regulus died once, sirius died twice, and their rooms are kept how they left it. capsules of a better time. kreacher ensured regulus’ memory stayed, but why hold onto the remnants of sirius? it’s like cutting your dead horse’s tail, like keeping your dog’s lead, like saving your cat’s collar—like wearing your grandma’s necklace or your dad’s coat, your mum’s scarf or your grandpa’s wristwatch.

they kept it. his schoolbooks were still on the shelves, as if he’d just gone on holiday and was expected back at any moment. he was dead to them and they kept it, made it into a metaphorical tomb, the unchanged bedroom of a dead child.

it’s like a reminder of failure. but can it still be a shrine if there’s nothing there to worship?

[bucksboobs]

Met-in-the-military EddieTommy that got married as soon as they retired that meet a retired Navy Seal named Evan Buckley (squadmates called him Buck) at a military themed gay bar in WeHo and Buck is completely unaware it’s a gay bar and thought he was just chatting up some fellow soldiers. Eddie and Tommy exchange a look like “we have to have him right?”

[yeehaw2446]

dennis is so teenage girl coded, he understands the horrors.

[tangledinink]

i watch you because i want to keep you safe. you watch the rest of the world because you want the same thing.

[ the gemini. ]