#this kind of mentality is what caused me to post that and then not post for a few days. i should probably stop

[bi-planeandsimple]

I see so many posts worrying about boys and men, and their mental health and their body image issues and be kind to men and men are good and men are hot and it’s okay and good to like men and if you’re really a feminist you can’t hate men and don’t worry men we don’t hate you …and vanishingly few posts about how feminism is actually about freeing women from the hell we exist in. It’s about liberating all women from patriarchy. Vanishingly few about if you are a feminist these are the things killing and hurting women and here is what men can do to stop this. Putting any responsibility on men for the system created by for and of men is too far, I guess.

Like yes, all that is true about men, men are not inherently evil and body positivity is for men too. Sure all that is correct. But can we talk about men as beneficiaries of misogyny and the patriarchy? Women still do the majority of childcare and cleaning/keeping the house while also working full time - and that’s just in America. In other countries it’s even worse. And there are absolutely not enough legal protections for domestic violence victims globally. In America Republicans want to remove no fault divorce which was one small protection for victims of domestic violence. And there is not gender parity in the perpetration of domestic and sexual violence. And It’s not biological - it’s 100% cultural. Rape culture is perpetuated by women too, yes, but that’s likely because we see what happens when we don’t toe the line. At best it’s pointless and at worst we lose our entire world and even life for daring to suggest a man should choose to behave better.

Like so many women came forward for me too. We did our part. We did the scary thing, the brave thing, the right thing. And what happened? Not a lot. A few individuals got charged, but man more women got yelled at for daring to speak up. For daring to tarnish a man’s reputation for “only” for doing xyz. something every man does (which is the problem) or it’s not a big deal or you’re lying for attention etc etc. and there has not been a larger cultural shift for the better I have seen. Andrew Tate got more popular after me too. and many many women are still routinely abused and raped and routinely not believed when they come forward and talk about being abused or raped. We saw amber heard ignored and mocked and belittled by tons of men and women online who fell for the smear campaign Depp paid for. Roe v Wade is gone and now in some states it’s a crime to seek an abortion. And those who rat you out for even wanting one can be rewarded for their trouble. (Which of course means as taxpayers we are paying men to rape women - rape a woman repeatedly until she gets pregnant, call in her desire to get an abortion, get $10,000 - easy peasy for any one who thinks women aren’t human - which is too many men)

Ending patriarchy needs to be the goal. Not passively “believing men and women are equal” that’s not feminism. That’s not an action. You aren’t doing anything. a belief is nothing. Men need to highlight women coworkers who are talked over, give them credit for their ideas publicly, push them forward for raises and promotions, do more around the house, take care of their own kids, provide transport to and pay for abortions, not stalk or attack women who reject them, not spread rumors lies or personal information shared with them in private, not share nudes, not send dick pics unprompted, not create deepfake porn of their exes, and stop perpetuating and supporting rapists and abusers and rape culture.

Stop defending Andrew Tate and Louis CK and Johny Depp and Woody Allen and R Kelly and P Diddy and Cosby and Roman Polanski and Neil Gaiman and and. The list is so long and it’s not even the half of it. Stop defending your cousin your uncle your father your brother your friend. Cause these perpetrators are not all loners born fully formed out of the ether - they have families and friends. Who don’t listen to the wives the girlfriends the sisters the daughters the friends. And so they continue to harm. For years and years and years. Traumatizing dozens of people, or the same people over and over. children too often included. with no consequences and no one to stop them.

This is what it means to be a woman. It’s not about genitals or chromosomes. Of course trans women are women. There are many ways to be a woman. But something we all share is being an ignored inconvenience to larger society. It’s about our harm being expected and accepted. As the cost of doing business. We are An afterthought. For no one to act on our behalf. Most rape victims are women and most rapists are serial rapists. So one individual is hurting lots of women. And is never caught. Or stopped. Or even slowed. But saying “I hate men” because of their collective inaction on liberating women from the hell they benefit from is the real crime. That’s what’s really keeping so many male feminists away from the cause, from doing the work. If we were just slightly nicer then maybe they wouldn’t hurt us would help us.

So I will say to all men: Stop minimizing what abusers and rapists did, listen to women, and take action. Women cannot end the patriarchy on our own. We have been trying, believe me, since so few men join us, and those that do are chased off by other men. But we need all men to step up and take action. Take accountability and make change happen. Stop asking for our sexual histories, stop forcing your creepy friend on us, stop telling women to give him a chance, stop ratting us out for wanting an abortion or otherwise keeping us from getting medical care, whether abortions or hysterectomies, or vaccines or anything else. stop commenting on our weight stop expecting sex ever, start learning more about menstruation start carrying tampons and pads start cleaning up after yourself and cooking your own meals and parenting your own kids and making your own appointments and believing women who say they are being abused or were raped. And then help them. Ask them what they need. Do that.

When the patriarchy ends, everyone benefits, yes even men. When there is no more rape culture male victims will be believed about their rapes too, and treated with the care and respect that all victims/survivors deserve. When there is no more patriarchy and ppl’s worth and rights are not determined based on looks, or passing, this will help cis and trans fat balding men as well as cis and trans fat women to not be discriminated against.

until we seriously address these cultural pitfalls, and until men and boys seriously address their failings in themselves and and in fellow men and boys around them, and until men realize our toxic misogynistic culture is the problem and permanently change the culture, and change their own behavior, we won’t get anywhere. And women globally will remain in hell.

Men shouldn’t feel bad for being men - they should feel bad only if they don’t actively work to destroy the patriarchy every single day. Action vs inaction. That’s what matters. A little perspective is what I would like to see on this site.

The toxic masculinity epidemic and machoization of America is why I'm even less willing to entertain a lot of niceness and cordiality to the "we need to be nicer to and understanding of men these days!" argument because the problem is that these men think they don't need to experience negative consequences for their behavior and I'm tired of it.

As a trans woman who struggled with my identity and experienced a lot of this up close while closeted (and veered from very masculine to somewhat androgynous), and continued to experience it from the other side now that I'm out and actively embracing it (and have been for years now, actively and very feminine-presenting) a lot of this is bullshit and the same pleas for understanding the challenges of women, or of non-binary or intersex people are not extended in the same way, to the same level, with the same fervency.

Why isn't it an alarm bell for society and culture that women aren't being understood or listened to or regarded? There's no movement calling for the reorganization of education and employment on behalf of women who might not be succeeding or progressing as there is with the fucking Richard Reeves motherfuckers and their Men and Boys Crisis invocation.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, or have everything figured out, but I've had to work on myself and grapple with myself to be comfortable and present in society, and I don't see why a lot of men can't be told they should do the same.

[dreamergraveyard]

Ok Sysblr! We're gonna learn how to apologize today!

Let's lay some ground rules on what isn't an apology first:

NOT an apology:

- Just stating that you did something (ex: I blew up a burger king)

- Mentioning something you did was messed up (and nothing else about it) (ex: I blew up a burger king and that was kind of messed up. Anyway –)

- Telling people that you hurt them (they know you did)

- Excuses with the expectation that you'll be forgiven for them (ex: I was in a really bad place/I have xtz mental illness so you can't be mad at me)

Now this is a guide on how to write an apology (all of these things TOGETHER make an apology, not just one or the other) :

- Stating what you're apologizing for + who you hurt/how (ex: Last month I blew up a Burger King and killed several old men. Due to my actions, their sugar babies are now homeless)

- State that you regret your actions/acknowledge they were wrong (ex: Looking back, I realize how childish and stupid of me that was, I hurt a lot of sugar babies and I regret that)

- DIRECTLY APOLOGIZE (ex: I'm sorry that I did that, and I'm sorry to those affected by my actions)

- Explain how you're going to change or remedy your actions (ex: in the future, I'll refrain from giving myself access to things I can use to cause this again, and will be working on myself.)

- DO NOT GET UPSET IF YOUR APOLOGY ISN'T ACCEPTED. You are not owed forgiveness if you've hurt people. You may want to move on but that doesn't mean they're not allowed to be upset. You don't get to just "turn over a new leaf" and get upset when the people you've hurt don't forgive you.

Idk if you hve an issue w this post look inside urself and ask why a guide on apologizing upsets you.

[squiddlysq]

Finished System Collapse the other day & Murderbot has never been more relatable

First image based on this post by @murderbot-moodboard

[moongothic]

Do wanna say, I am actually really curious how Iva-chan would feel if the Dragodile Divorce went REAL BAD

'Cause they didn't know the two were in a relationship at all, right. (Otherwise, like, if Iva-chan knows about Crocodile having a kid then surely they'd realize that would've also been Dragon's kid and like. Understands that's Luffy etc) So as far as Iva-chan understands the situation, Crocodile may have been secretly slightly involved with the Revolutionaries for a period of time, had a kid out of the blue, transitioned, and either immidiately broke ties with the Revs entirely and fucked off to Alabasta, or kept on assisting the Revs in secret (possibly monetarily, being a sugar daddy and all 💰🐊💰) for however long in secret, only to pretty much betray them out of nowhere by attempting to take over Alabasta 17 years later Either way, surely Ivankov would've been deeply confused by this turn of events, right? Like what happened to him, why would Crocodile do any of this?

But if the straw that broke the camel's back and shattered Crocodile's psyche was the Dragodile Divorce going really bad, either from Dragon not being that accepting OR due to things going violent over a miscommunication... How would Ivankov feel about that?

Keep in mind, we've only ever heard Iva-chan talk about Dragon with nothing but adoration and respect. They sincerely hold Dragon in such high regard, can you imagine how badly either revelation could change how Iva-chan's views Dragon? 'Cause like, sure if Dragon's straight then that's one thing, but lashing out at his loved one? When he came out? At what might've been the most emotionally vunerable time of Crocodile's life (between the transing and the baby and having to leave his son forever. Y'know. Heavy shit)? Yeah, frankly speaking, Iva-chan would be completely justified in slapping the shit out of Dragon and giving him some choise words. Perhaps even some 💉 Karmic Punishment 💉 to teach a lesson Feeling disappointed in Dragon would be an understatement. But even if The Divorce happened due to a tragic accident (of Dragon attacking the strange man he has never seen before out of instinct when going to see his wife and child), it's been nearly two whole decades. Have the two even spoken since then? Like presumably not considdering Crocodile didn't even know who Luffy was. So if they haven't spoken at all-- did Dragon ever apologize? Or was he that much of a coward he couldn't face Croc and take responsibility for what he did? If so, that is absolutely pathetic and frankly irresponsible considdering the feelings he would've left Crocodile festering with.

Like either way, I'm deeply facinated how Iva-chan would take the news. How that could impact their relationship with Dragon, as well as how they've viewed Crocoboy for the past few years as well.

Because suddenly Crocoboy didn't just go bonkers out of nowhere, abandon and betray the Revolutionaries to try to do something monstrous for selfish gain. Suddenly, it was Dragon who abandoned Crocodile and left him all alone for nearly two decades, believing obtaining an Ancient Weapon was the only way to take down the World Government. Countless innocent lives that perhaps could've been spared in Alabasta had Dragon just fucking talked to his ex--

Yeah. I'm curious how Iva-chan would feel

[milimeters-morales]

(NOT ATSV) my ideal miguel and miles friendship (bordering on enemies) dynamic is where Miles is sort of a Mean Girls figure where he’ll say the worst things to Miguel, who actually has no problems dishing that shit right back out, is usually too fed up or somewhere else mentally to reply. They fight a lot, more physically than verbally, usually in a slapstick comedy type of way. Miles is banned from Nueva York once a month and got a restraining order against Miguel in his own dimension. His parents fucking hate him and Miguel hates them right back. Rio has tried and failed to poison him via food and Jeff is considering hiring a hitman. Gabriel is beloved by them. Miles takes Miguel’s money at least twice a week to go spend it just because he can. Miguel has tried (and succeeded once) to get Miles sick with a future illness because he figured out the lesbian bar Miguel liked to perform at in drag. Miles has cried at least once in every room of Miguel’s apartment and Miguel has been confused on what to do each time besides an awkward hug and pat on the back. People are rightfully worried for Miles’s safety at least 80% of the time but when they aren’t they’re shaking their heads at the two’s antics. They need to be separated until they have a healthy “this is a grown ass man / this is stupid little girl i don’t like at work” relationship and it’ll take an act of god for either of them to realize their current one isn’t healthy at all and has extremely negative impacts on their mental state.

[trans-leek-cookie]

Thinking about geto because I want to pour milk on him and throw him against the wall. Imo his beliefs are inconsistent and self serving (which makes sense because he developed said beliefs at age 16/17 while his mental health was at an all time low). Because while he seems to have the primary motive of "only sorcerers = no curses" taking into account how he treats Maki, who has no cursed energy, it shows that the "no curses" thing isnt the main focus- bc while he decided on tbe "forced evolution" thing, theoretically he should not be Opposed to ppl w heavenly restriction bc. They still fuckin. Don't contribute to curses from what I can tell. Also heavenly restriction is pretty obviously something that is punished by uh. Is it just the Zenin's who have it. Anyway they hated Maki and they Hated Toji so he clearly isn't standing for "oppressed sorcerers" bc if so Maki should be like. The kind of person he wants to help more, as someone who would be oppressed by ppl who aren't sorcerers as well as the powerful clans.

Anyway. While getting rid of curses is for sure part of his motivation, as well as helping sorcerers (see Nanako and Mimiko) id honestly argue that his main problem that lead to him spiraling was. How do I put this. Being knocked off a pedestal

Because he was one of 3 people given the ranking of "Special Grade", and he and satoru are grouped as "the strongest". And consider that satoru comes from a powerful clan and literally has some weird omniscience and invincibility shit going on so that's a whole fucking. That's gotta be a wild ego boost, especially for someone who comes from a family of ppl who aren't sorcerers. Like you spend all this time being a fuckin weirdo and then someone finds you and it turns out you're actually incredibly special and strong, given the same rank as a fucking God Child? You're gonna have some wild self perceptions after that

Anyway then you get to watch your invincible friend get stabbed, watch the girl you became friends with and feel shitty about kinda ruining the life of get shot, and get your whole shit rocked by some guy who can't even use the magic power bullshit you have. (Though he's got a whole physical thing going on because of the trade off)

Also writing all of this out actually makes me understand the Cult Leader progression more, like besides the fact they killed ur friend and you want em dead. You're probably struggling with your ego (especially since your weird God like friend got a whole power boost from the situation) so you create a fucking eugenicist cult where you can consistently prove your superiority to yourself (surrounding yourself with people who will agree with everything you say).

Anyway in a similar vein I wholely believe in "a loving father is not inherently a good father" Suguru + Nanako & Mimiko dynamic

Final thought is roughly I feel like looking at Suguru thru the lense of "this character had a level of privilege that they felt they truly deserved, and after experiencing events that are genuinely traumatic and horrific for any person, they develop reactionary beliefs to try and regain a sense of superiority and control" rather than "oppressed minority who killed oppressors and wants to do eugenics"

[voiceshearingyouloud]

Finally properly sobbing after not being able to cry all day is such a great feeling

[ozymoron]

reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)

[mischiefmanifold]

it's really annoying how many thoughts I have both about my own mental health issues and problems with definitions and social views of mental illnesses, but I can't seem to find a way to express them

[spikeyjo]

also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks

[rosicheeks]

I hope your days aren't as heavy and dark, I am sending all the positive thoughts your way. You deserve the best, fairy princess. <3

😭

[area51-escapee]

Actually still thinking about that though like. The whole fucking “I want a golden retriever ADHD bf”, “I want to meet a neurospicy alt girl”, “I like him he’s a little autistic”, I just fucking hate it. They reduce real mental illnesses and disorders down to just quirky personality traits and to me they make it obvious that they don’t want any of the real problems that comes with having those disorders, they just want the #relatable traits that make for funny TikTok’s.

They’re okay with stereotypical traits of ADHD, being hyper or having that “class clown” type of personality, but what about when their ADHD partner hyperfixates on something and ends up not responding for several hours? What about when their ADHD partner has actual symptoms of ADHD, forgetfulness, time blindness, being disorganized or easily distracted. What about when their ADHD partner forgets to do a chore or needs to be asked to do something? Are they okay with that? Can they accommodate someone who needs extra help and extra reminders? Or will they complain that it’s “too much labor” to ask for something to be done because their partner should just Know that they wanted it done. Will they help their partner when they run out of meds and struggle with daily tasks more than usual? Will they be understanding if their partner forgets things they believe they shouldn’t?

And then the “I want someone who’s a little autistic” absolutely infuriates me. It’s outright admitting they want someone that has these traits they can romanticize but they don’t want someone who’s too autistic, they don’t want someone who would be too weird to other people, they don’t want someone who actually struggles due to being autistic. They like the idea of someone who’s quirky and interesting and “not like everyone else”, but they don’t want somebody who struggles with going to new places, who only eats a handful of specific foods, who struggles with hygiene or keeping their spaces clean. They like the type of autism presented in TV, someone who’s super smart in some specific area, but only if it matters to them, they don’t want to listen to someone with an odd special interest talk about it again and again, they don’t want their partner bringing their toys or stuffed animals or collectibles and trying to display them and “ruining” the aesthetic, they don’t want to help their partner through meltdowns or be understanding when it comes to communication issues.

There’s more to ADHD than being hyperactive or impulsive in a way that comes across as “spontaneous” and interesting, having ADHD doesn’t automatically turn someone into the fun loving extroverted “golden retriever” partner of your dreams. There’s more to Autism than just having “interesting quirks” or special interests in topics considered “important” and coming across as cool and aloof. These are disorders that impact every aspect of a person’s life, that make it difficult to go through day to day life, that often come with experiencing bullying and being treated as “undesirable”. It doesn’t make it better when you pick and choose traits that YOU like and turn them into some kind of category of person you can seek out on a dating app, especially if you are not ready to understand the realities of these disabilities and be there for your partner when they need patience and understanding.

[puppetlooselystrung]

i love how werewolves can account for so many things. trans allegory. mental illness/mental disorder allegory. probably could go for neurodivergent allegory too if you ask the right people who think it that way

[istherewifiinhell]

what does pre-winter 2019 me have that now me doesnt: jesus christ so many fucking things its not even funny.

what do i have that they dont? new friends. so much more convoluted media knowledge. fledging ability at drawing character lewds. 👍🏻

[makerofmadness]

Ok looking at fanart having not seen the ruin trailer in a while I have forgotten what Cassie's actual hair color is is it brown or blonde or something in between I keep seeing art of both

like it's FNAF so I don't mind (FNAF isn't consistent with its own human designs I'm pretty sure Susie had her hair go from blonde in the games to brown in one of the books and Vanessa I think went the opposite direction between VR and AR and SB and then there's Michael in FNAF 4 vs. Michael in SL so-) but I genuinely don't know what she was shown as anymore XD

[eggmeralda]

can you get burnout from doing nothing