#main reason why I’m still on there is cause I love this creator and want to support her as much as possible

[sufferu]

Do you think Emilia suffer/may suffer from " Creator's Pet " syndrome? It seems to me she does fit two of them: Hated and despised by some fans Loved (or worshipped) by the writer(tappei),is his favorite

I think that’s her main problem, tbh — and honestly, it’s the only real writing critique that I have about Re:Zero as a whole. It doesn’t matter to me what other fans think about her character in this regard: that’s always like. A bit of a coin flip, who exactly is gonna become the widespread favorite or whipping boy. What matters to me is that Tappei 1) leans on what he seems to consider her inherent likability, often without actually justifying it to the audience, and 2) is terrified of actually making her unlikeable.

That first point first: Tappei tends to Assume that the audience likes Emilia just as much as he does, and because of this I feel like he doesn’t tend to lay the groundwork necessary to actually make that the case.

This is pretty subjective, I don’t have a whole lot of really objective moments to point to here, so someone else might think I’m totally off the mark — but I feel like sometimes we’re expected to believe that Emilia is some amazingly capable and talented person while the moments where she’s actually allowed to back it up are few and far between. Most of them are also — honestly really simple? And very much tied up in her being a super powerful fighter, instead of in her being intelligent, or quick-witted, or even in her being particularly empathetic. That last one works a LITTLE bit, because that’s basically the whole reason Subaru fell so hard for her, but even then I think I can count on one hand the number of times Emilia’s boundless kindness has actually earned her a powerful character moment/victory in the main storyline (first loop of Arc 1 + the reveal that she always stopped to help Plum, Lap Pillow Scene, Emilia’s conversation with Madelyn…?? Maybe there’s something in her conversation with Ram in Arc 4???) and otherwise it’s only really Referenced rather than Shown. And when that’s one of your LEAD CHARACTERS, it’s just not enough.

The second point, though, is the one that I actually consider more important: Emilia isn’t given enough moments where she’s allowed to be genuinely unlikeable.

The whole reason why Subaru is such a beloved character is because he’s allowed to be a fuck-up sometimes. He is allowed to fall, and fall HARD, and get raked through the coals so bad for it that you can still taste the blood three arcs later. Fuck, he’s allowed to fuck up so bad that he becomes the Reason so many people straight up dropped the first season. And that makes him interesting, and multifaceted, and it makes his good moments mean so much more. This is what I consider the Secret to good character writing: if you want the audience to like that character, give them moments where they are genuinely, unapologetically ugly. This is why Bakugou is the best character in BNHA (fight me): Bakugou is allowed to be UGLY.

And the thing is: Tappei doesn’t normally HAVE this problem. Ram comes off like she’s being a fucking asshole for basically no reason, Otto is a conniving little shit, Julius introduced himself by beating the everloving snot out of the then-self-insert character, Felt abandoned Subaru to get beaten bloody in an alley in her very first scene, Anastasia, Priscilla, and Crusch all had a moment where they basically spat in Subaru’s face (even if Anastasia was trying to help it was very much a Tough Love moment), Wilhelm basically caused the Astrea Family Circus, Rem gets all of Arc 7 to throw her very carefully constructed Waifu persona completely out the window — fuck, Subaru is the MAIN CHARACTER and Arc 3 is basically just “Subaru Cringe Compilation.” So when Emilia is basically the only character who isn’t allowed to be ugly — it stands out, and not in a good way.

We have had Emilia as the secondary lead for basically eight arcs at this point (six if you don’t count the Vollachia Saga), and — look, I’m not an Emilia hater, but can you really say that she has anywhere near as much depth as Subaru does, or even as much as some of the secondary characters? She just doesn’t, or if she does then it’s not adequately explored, and it’s because she’s not allowed to be Nasty sometimes. In fact — there is exactly one moment I can think of where she’s genuinely, unambiguously allowed to be in the wrong: Arc 4, when she runs away from everyone to hide from her responsibilities currently threatening to crush her and has to be found and chewed out by Subaru. And it is one of her BEST moments. Arc 4 in general is considered Emilia’s greatest arc so far, and it is BECAUSE she was allowed to have a moment where she was WRONG.

But Tappei has basically never given us another moment like that because he wants the audience to like her, and at some point it just — look, at some point the hand of the author becomes obvious. When you have basically every character Emilia meets talk about how much they like her and have That define her kindness more than any actual Moments on her part, when you refuse to make even the most vicious of characters dislike or talk shit about her despite everyone else getting a chance to earn someone else’s ire in some form or another, when you spend two whole arcs away from her and then immediately open back in on how amazing she is without even giving us a reminder about Why she’s supposed to be so amazing (having another character describe her as amazing doesn’t count) — it becomes too obvious that Tappei just Really Wants the audience to like Emilia, and at some point That Alone becomes aggravating enough to make people biased against her just on principle.

Anyway those are my thoughts lol. This is legit the only real criticism I, personally, have of the story — but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t aggravate me a LITTLE bit. I don’t want to like Emilia, I want to LOVE her — I want to love her as much as Tappei does — but she has to earn it like everyone else, and Tappei seems a little to adverse to actually letting her Do That.

[rosicheeks]

I hope your days aren't as heavy and dark, I am sending all the positive thoughts your way. You deserve the best, fairy princess. <3

😭

[kierancaz]

The way I’m literally about to fight and bring the facts to this TikTok comment section because people can have their ships but also can y’all realize that certain characters have certain functions and they may not be big functions that’s ok. Cause like someone posted a video of Miles and Margo of their 30 second interaction with like pieces of the script layered over it and like yah you can see the vibe between these two but ALSO Margo has two functions 1) make Gwen jealous the way Hobie makes Miles jealous and 2) don’t hit the button on the machine and let Miles go back to his own dimension.

“I WANT THEM TO BE TOGETHER SO BAD !!!!” Why? Literally why? Margo has no character, has had a total of like 1 minutes screen time, and 1 scene with Miles.

People trying to use the spider-resonating as something to prove they should be together when that happens to everyone when they meet another spider-person?? Someone commented that in a book or smth it says Margo finds Miles cute which I think in her short screen time they get across really well.

But it just baffles me because like, Gwen and Miles are set up so perfectly. To me they’re on the list of ships I could never break for anyone else and that’s like two other ships. What is it that you see in Margo and Miles besides them idk looking cute together??

Scrolling through these comments is making me actually insane someone said that they were mad at Gwen for pulling Miles away like she owns him and said “and then you have ppl on tiktok acting like it wasn’t weird” ???? GIRL THEY ARE IN A RUSH TO GO MEET MIGUEL ?? GWEN IS CLEARLY STRESSING LIKE THIS WHOLE WALK ???

And then literally the creator of the og tiktok replied to them and said “the whole fandom likes to think Gwen owns Miles- I know the reason, but that’s for another discussion” and then when someone called them out for making everything about race they said they didn’t and that the person calling them out was making it about race like ?? You know don’t actually have to say the words “race” or “black” or “white” to make something about race? Your insinuation was clear as fucking day.

And also, because I did comment what I said earlier about Margo being to Gwen what Hobie is to Miles, someone replied saying that Hobie and Gwen see each other as friends and it’s obviously not the case with Margo and Miles and that they have a connection that will probably be explained in btsv.

I’m sorry. But I think you’re wrong. Hobie is super interesting and layered and I love him for that but he also serves two main functions (the creators just decided to give him much more depth with his five minutes of screen time, which I’m sure they would’ve done with Margo too if she had 5 minutes of screen time). Those functions are 1) make Miles jealous and 2) make the watch for Gwen so that when she gets booted back to her world by Miguel she can still travel dimensions.

Yes we know Hobie and Gwen see each other as friends but Miles does not. What Miles knows is that Gwen for the last however many months she has been in the spider society has been hanging out with some guy called Hobie that she thinks is super cool and he lets her crash in his dimension. What Miles knows is that Hobie is actually super cool and despite not wanting to like him because of Hobie’s relationship he does because he’s just that cool. He knows that Gwen took his shoes and left her sweater at his place and her toothbrush. He knows they’ve been on a couple dozen missions together. He knows that Hobie calls Gwen “Gwendy” and “my drummer” which while we may not have picked that up in a romantic context Miles in his little tiny jealous teen brain could have.

And also. When Miles hears any of that information is it very clear that he is NOT happy about it. It’s very obvious that he is jealous of Hobie. What Margo does is that same exact thing for Gwen but in a much shorter span of time and with much less build up because that’s all they really have to work with. And they get that Miles and Margo have chemistry across great.

But over all, there is no real reason to ship them. Because Margo has almost no character depth and almost no scenes and no real relationship with Miles in like any way. I’m not even sure you could call them acquaintances at this point. It feels like the only reason people ship them is because they’re two black characters.

Anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk ig.

[unhappytimeleaper]

I love love your Eichi works, but one thing I wondered while reading through them. Why would Eichi take an interest in his darling? What kind of person would capture him? What was the start of it all? 

requested by @diarykeeper

Word Count: 1,000+

In general, I’m going to be editing my writing list here soon/making new separate posts regarding character lists, and along with that, I started working on my own yandere profiles/summary sheets that I’ve seen some other creators make for their own works. My goal is to try to eventually get what I have in my out, which is nearly all Enstars and one twisted— which isn’t bad— it’s just my list will likely be changing soon. Enstars will stay; don’t worry, though. 

P.s. if you have a character you like as a yandere and you see something like this and think, ‘Oh, they aren’t describing me at all,’ who cares? I say this with positivity. Stuff like this is meant for fun, for indulgence, and enjoyment, and while I like writing the analysis side of things, don’t take it overly serious. Enjoy the characters you like and how you want. I’m only saying this cause I had someone who said they get upset when people mischaracterize characters different from how they perceive them??

Tenshouin Eichi; Unedited. Gender Neutral Reader.

Warnings; what? Fairly normal Eichi? No. It just doesn’t go into many detailed warnings. Overall just keep in mind this is still yandere content; mentions of jealousy and very subtle mentions of manipulation. 

This blog is 17+ please have your age in your bio or tagged; any ageless blog and below the age asked for will be blocked at the end of the week.

I’d say there are three main things, and really two are more general factors in someone’s life, while one can manifest in a variety of personalities in different ways. While there are some whose specific traits in someone might drive them, Eichi comes off as more of a slow burn who becomes interested in others, not in personality but in different ways that can draw him to you, which leads to establishing a connection based on your own sense of self. 

I’ll start with the general factor since this is probably the most out of your control/lack of personality traits. For one, Eichi has always been a very jealous person. He’s envious of so many things; fundamentally, look at the start of his relationship with Wataru for proof. Eichi was jealous, envious of what Wataru could have that he didn’t, even if there was admiration underneath. Eichi ironically mentions how he wants to step down from power, from the over looming presence he has in the industry but coming from such an affluent background and being a pillar in the industry— not only as a performer but as a business executive. Everything you have, everything you do essentially can be put up in the eyes of Eichi, which gives him a lot to feel envious of. Your closeness with other idols and staff, even more, if you aren’t as involved with Fine. Eichi might not regret his actions, but if it’s so easy for you to seamlessly get along with others without the need for manipulation and control, he’d likely become more invested in you. Getting closer and, in turn, building up those key blocks that he eventually uses against you once unlocking his feelings. 

Similarly, this could be applied to other things like having closeness to your family or, in some cases, a found family; Eichi states his family is not loving. He’s even to an extent disgusted by them so openly being able to see factors of how you might have a positive relationship with people in your family; parents or siblings creates a jealousy that, for some reason, draws him in. Alternatively, a found family is no exclusion if you aren’t on or don’t have the ability to connect with your family; it’s just the compassion and love without expectation he has rooted envy of that brings him closer. 

Just consider the ideal Eichi notes of how he’s been someone who’s lived ‘standing alone’ his whole life, comparatively to someone who maybe it’s only recently, but does have strong support or foundations in others as one thing that would draw him in. You can take this for many different things as long as it’s somewhat public within the company, which would cause Eichi to get involved, which would be an easier way to get to know your personality and cause the events of his behaviors to increase. 

So that’s one way to get him close; in terms of more defining traits, Eichi isn’t someone with a bleeding heart [at least not in the sense of overtly sympathetic]. However, he does tend to have a soft spot for those who also tend to struggle with sickness or other issues. We see this in his relationship with Chiaki and Leo, people who have struggled with various forms of sickness have brought them closer. If it’s a chronic illness or some form of mental health issues— someone who gets common colds or even says something that might only affect once and awhile like allergies, Eichi instinctually finds it easier to bond with those who can have similar life experiences. 

None of this is to say he sees it as babying or that it necessarily makes you weaker. Look at him, how he’s well aware of his limitations but has turned those into his strengths. Something like this isn’t a major make or break factor, but this does lead to a much more common segway to see him and converse that would establish a bond over time to use your specific personality to interest him. 

So the last reason, as I mentioned, can manifest in different ways. What I mean is someone can be loud and brash in how they choose to handle situations they feel passionate about, just as much as someone might be quiet, logical, and reserved in their actions for the same outcome. In this case we might consider these polar opposites, so what could make both or anything in between draw in Eichi? The answer is that it’s someone with passion and a fighting spirit for what they want to see a difference in especially if this comes to the industry. 

Eichi, more than anything, mentions how he wants a playmate. He wants a challenge, someone who can counter and entertain him. I’m not sure how many people know this, but Eichi mentions how he specially worked to groom Anzu into being someone he considered a worthy enemy, someone who could challenge his structure and power ideals. It’s something that likely would continue to draw his eye, someone who he knows can fight his yandere tendencies and, despite being a partner, be a foil to his ideals. Of course, he works to always be one step ahead and have the upper hand, which is reasonably easy for him, but that doesn’t change the fact that he likes an intelligent ‘rival’. 

Being able to counter him doesn’t need to be in a specific way; someone might be much more quick to handle a challenge he throws at them or verbally be loud when calling out specific actions of his. But this doesn’t mean someone who is willing to lose or forfeit some of these challenges for a more significant victory doesn’t entice him more in either as an idea of being the counterbalance to him. As long as you have somewhat of a fighting spirit for what you think is right in the industry and within the relationship that he can shape into what he wants, then it doesn’t matter in what ways it truly shows. 

[showtoonzfan]

Hello There, Showtoonz!! I just wanted to let you know someone has talked about your post about HB and let's just say some die hard fans aren't taking it well in the comments, and saying shit like, "Oh, well Viv is much better and talented than you!" Or "Don't watch the show then" ect ect, it's like you can't criticize ANYTHING without the fans going after you for it, and also calling you homophobic if you don't like the show. Apparently, you can't talk about criticism or say one negative thing on the series, when it comes to the HB/HH Fandom. 😒

https://twitter.com/Norelzahr1/status/1589926236591370240?t=SjRBUVbjNklc7S3zxzPPsg&s=19

Glad the OP agrees, but I honestly don’t care what the fans think lmao. I still stand by what I said, I heavily dislike how literally like….80% of the HB fandom and the creators act like being gay and/or female automatically means you’re a good writer who doesn’t need criticism, trust me, I’m not pulling that out of my ass, I’ve seen people act like this everywhere.

However, this did get me thinking, I will admit that I think I worded that one tag wrong, mainly the problem was I didn’t know HOW to word it. Fill free to disagree with me if y’all want, but when I said “The show shouldn’t even be labeled as a “queer show”, it’s a dark comedy with gay characters yes but that doesn’t mean it’s meant for gay people I don’t get it”- in one of the tags, what I was trying to get at was that I personally don’t understand why everyone keeps labeling the show as such when the original premise and tone of the show had nothing to do with what the show seems to be now, an emotional rollercoaster about relationships, wether gay or straight. In my opinion, I only think you should label your show as a “queer show” if your MAIN purpose and premise resides on telling a story following the such. Helluva Boss’s main premise wasn’t about that, it was about demon assassins going to earth to kill humans while Stolas (a SIDE main character-ish) acted like a horny perv who had possession of the book. The reason why I said this was mainly to once again jab at the people who act like having gay characters in your show means that it’s magically inhumane to criticism. Most importantly, when I said “it has gay characters yes but that doesn’t mean it’s for gay people”- I should have said that differently, because want I MEANT was that just because there are LGBTQ+ characters in your show, doesn’t mean it’s ONLY for them. This is a jab at the fans who keep saying “But it’s a queer show, it’s for queers”- whenever we try to critique Stolitz as a couple or the other relationships. The show never presented itself on the characters sexualities and how they’ll be telling about their loves lives and personal lives, again….it was SUPPOSED to be a dark comedy about asshole demons assassins, and ever since Stolitz took over the show because Viv is obsessed with it rather than taking time to develop and expand her other characters, everyone now is acting like Stolitz is what the show stems on and what this show was supposed to be about. They also act like LGBTQ+ characters can’t be written badly as long as the creators are gay themselves, (they also act like just because it’s told from a “queer perspective” that apparently means that the writing isn’t bad, but that we just won’t get it because we’re not queer) and that’s not true?? Again, I don’t care if you’re gay or straight lmao, bad writing is still bad writing, that doesn’t make me homophobic for saying so, I’ve literally expressed multiple times how it pisses me off how Viv portrays most LGBTQ+ people, mainly her gay characters cause all they act like are hollow shallow stereotypes as if they were written by dumb men from the 70’s. Again, there are better written gay characters out there. I should also say that I don’t mind it when a show wants to dive into the romantic side of the main character, because Blitz at the end of the day still IS the main character after all, I’m just tired of fans acting like the show is only about his and Stolas’s relationship when it should be about the entire IMP crew as well. So Helluva fans, please stop saying “It’s a queer show”- whenever someone opens their mouth to critique something. I’ve seen Queer shows that have better writing than this fan fiction of a show and my sexuality has nothing to do with it lmao.

[radiantlyrey]

Thoughts on Uprising ep14 “Tagged”

- note: we are now in Unknown Territory, for me! I have not watched any episodes past this point! all I know is what I’ve seen chatter about; that’s it!! SO LET’S GET STARTED.

- cold open: I see we have a team of feral dogs libertarian street artists making trouble in Argon! good thing they got away from the cops, at least?? (in re: feral dogs: Night Vale references? anyone? anyone?)

- “my fanclub strikes again” “you mean my fanclub” Tron are you being SASSY??? I agree with Beck, this is an improvement!!

- I get the sense from this conversation that Beck is still a little testy about his encounter with Cyrus, hence his insistence on bringing the street artists into the fold. Tron is advising caution, but I think Beck is feeling a little stretched thin by all this Renegade stuff and wants some, y’know, help. can’t say I blame the kid.

- then we cut to Paige dealing with a bomb threat on a train and it is lowkey kind of hilarious how she shoves the bomb squad aside and fucking opens the bomb herself—like girl!!!!! we have the bomb squad for a reason!!!!!!! STOP. thank god it’s just a paint bomb, cause she would’ve been derezzed instantly if it wasn’t.

- then Beck catches up with the artists three and basically does to them what Tron did to him; poses as a Black Guard and questions them and then reveals himself to be “Tron” aka the Renegade. also the subtitles totally gave away Mara’s role in the Jolly Tricksters, which… boo. but I love Beck’s obvious shock when he sees her; he was not counting on that! also Mara kind of flirting with “Tron” makes me (and Beck) uncomfortable…..

- meanwhile back at Tron’s, Beck tries to feel out why Tron chose him and also tries to suss out what, if anything, Tron will tell him about the Stranger/Cyrus. (again, not sure Cyrus actually introduced himself in the previous episode; I think I was too busy cussing to actually remember….) anyway, Beck wants Tron to tell him about Cyrus, but Tron is apparently pretending that chapter of his life DID NOT HAPPEN. (also Beck’s weird wrist circuits are still freaking me out………. hope they don’t prove significant in the future……)

- back in the main plot (though I’m surprised that this episode is ALL A-plot! no charming sideplot required, apparently!): Beck gets the Jolly Tricksters to do a distraction so he can sneak in and get some intel from Tesler’s ship. he’s in and out with no trouble, but then: trouble arrives!! in the form of Moog and Rasket who want to put a tag on Tesler’s whole ass ship. Mara is the only one of them with any sense, and she insists on going with the Renegade to get them back.

- so Moog and Rasket (Raskay~~ whatever your name is Rasket) do their big tag, and get fucking caught by Pavel. and taken to a torture chamber, essentially. Pavel’s doing that thing where he swings between silly and deadly serious and it’s a little terrifying. the torture device is horrifying and very much Do Not Want from me, like……… holy shit. and they don’t even shy away from showing it onscreen!!!! WHAT THE FUCK, SHOW. it’s like the creators realized Disney wasn’t gonna do shit to promote their show and just decided to do whatever!!!!!!!! jesus.

- Mara and Beck-as-Renegade save them tho!!! hooray!! and then Beck gives them all an assignment—keep the gate open—that Moog and Rasket immediately give up on and Mara, I can’t believe you thought you could control these two!! my god!!! but she manages to buy time for the Renegade as Beck is fighting Paige (there were some good shots in that fight btw) and they all just barely escape and ooOOF.

- less great that Moog and Rasket are out, and that Beck, as much as he needs Mara, can’t afford to put his friend in danger and essentially pushes her away. sigh.

- and then Beck and Tron have a conversation in PUBLIC ABOUT THIS???? AND TRON DON’T EVEN HAVE HIS FACE COVERED???????? the FUCK are you doing Tron???? GODDDDD.

- that said the coda of Mara doing another tag is glorious, and I hope we see more of her efforts towards revolution in the future. Beck is absolutely right: she really truly believes in the cause, and if (who she thinks is) Tron telling her he doesn’t need her doesn’t make her give up, then nothing will.

- all in all: fun little romp of an episode, and a very nice breather after the sheer fuck-inducing intensity of the previous episode.

[warnadudenexttime]

How are your criticisms supposed to help Thomas grow if he can't even see them? If it's so important that he doesn't see them then why do it publicly where others can see it and send it to him when you could just do it privately in a discord server or in DM's with friends? Making gross comments about how he grows his facial hair and prefacing them with "but he can do whatever he wants" is just like saying "no offense" before proceeding to say something deeply hurtful. It's incredibly immature. You don't have to agree with everything Thomas does but for goodness sake, be respectful.

I’m a bit confused, it’s both wrong to criticize him whether he can see it or not? Cause you seem to be upset whether you thought he could see it or he couldn’t, apologies I’m a bit confused. /gen. I see it more as a venting honestly. Which, if people are sending him things where I’m just saying ‘hey too many ad videos’ or whatever it maybe that’s just kinda weird to me, that’s never crossed my mind as something people would do but I guess it’s possible, seems like a pointless drama starter to me but that’s my own opinion. I do vent to my friends about this, but some of them don’t like seeing criticism which I respect and just talk about it on my alt where anyone is free to block or mute me, I don’t mind. I was very adverse to seeing criticism for a long time as it upset me, so I completely get it. Also, I’m not sure how- ‘gross’ the comments are as you put it. Again, maybe my perspective is very different from yours or me being bad at social cues, I’m unsure. If I called his beard ugly or disgusting or something, that would be different, that would be gross. I’ve seen people say in his comment section saying he needs to shave it cause it makes him look 50 or that he just looks awful now to his face. That’s gross, that’s disgusting. I just made a couple of jokes about how I don’t like it. But that’s not just to thomas, again I just don’t like beards lol. But, I have had a talk with some of my friends and I likely am gonna stop talking about the beard stuff in general as people seem to misunderstand me saying plainly ‘I don’t like the beard, but he can do whatever he wants and I wanna see him happy’ as me hating on him actively. That’s not my goal or what I mean at all, but I can understand why someone could see it that way if they don’t see my disclaimers. I can see why you’d think of my disclaimers as the equivalent of a ‘no offense’ but I see them more as disclaimers, an explanation and clarification. Part of why I don’t do it on my main is again to be respectful, and not wanting to hurt him. Criticizing people publicly is just a thing fandom cultures do, not to pull a “well everyone else does it so” card but it’s just how fandom’s communicate and share ideas sometimes. Again, tumblr has a whole hashtag to sharing criticism publicly about thomas. I think it’s both fine to not wanna criticize him, wanting to criticize him, wanting to see criticism, not wanting to criticize him- whatever it may be. Muting and blocking people to curate your own fandom and internet experience is very important and understandable, especially for your own mental health or what you wanna see or anything really, there doesn’t need to be a reason.

So anon, whoever you are, I understand your point. But I see it as perfectly fine and/or natural to criticize content or creators you like. Sometimes people do things that upset or annoy or disappoint you. Humans are just naturally social creatures who wanna talk and share their opinions and emotions in their little fandom spaces. If me criticizing thomas upsets you, that’s completely valid as I said before seeing that use to really upset me, feel free to block or mute me. I still rlly love thomas and support him, even through some of my criticisms.

[writerfae]

hi!!! do you have a character/characters that have drastically changed between when you first started writing knights of the alder and now? and what are those changes (unless they’re too spoiler-y then be vague!)

Hello! Several of my characters have changed!

My main protagonist Aiden for example has gained far more depth over time, at the start he was merely an idea, a concept. Almost like a ghost. And even that concept changed.

First, Aiden was supposed to hate the fae. He didn’t help Halea but captured her. In his opinion, the fae were responsible not only for his brother’s disappearance, but also for the death of their parents (in early concepts, both his parents were killed). He was more unfriendly and bit bitter.

But it all didn’t feel right. I also didn’t know how to justify that someone who hates fae decides to help them instead, so I changed it. Especially since there was literally no evidence that fae killed Aiden’s parents, so he was mad for mo reason and idk, it didn’t sit well with me.

The more drastic changes were in Talon and Callan though.

Starting with Talon, he wasn’t even a main character at the start, only a side character. And I’ll be honest, I hated him. He was your stereotypical asshole (pretty much like a high school bully from a movie). He too gained more depth, I pretty much restarted his character completely.

I turned him more into this stoic, sorta arrogant and aloof acting person with thick walls built around them and their true feelings. What was past Talon’s whole and true personality only turned into an aspect of him, a way of protecting himself from the world you could say.

Talon is a wonderful character, cause he’s the only one of my ocs that told me all those things about himself. I know that sounds silly, but listen. I’m not just his creator, I’m this boy’s therapist.

He walks into my mind like “did you know I have a dead brother and issues with my dad and that’s why I’m like that? Did you know I love music? Did you know my uncle was a bard and I wanted to be like him as a kid?” And I just sit there and nod and write it all down. You could say Talon rebuilt himself and I’m very happy about this.

And then there’s Callan. His personality hasn’t changed that much to be honest, but everything else about him. In a very early stage of development, Callan was a woman.

He was still married to Henry, but he was also pretty much dead. You know, in canon as it is now, Callan lost his mother because she died at his birth. But originally, I considered that this was Callan’s story. “She” died during the birth of “her” and Henry’s child, leaving Henry as the new and unexpected king of the Willow Court.

Looking back I don’t remember why I changed it, I think cause in my mind I was always doubting if “she” was truly a “she” to me. I know I changed the story because wouldn’t that be a sad fate for Henry? He didn’t deserve that. But truly, why I changed Callan’s gender is lost to me rn

Oh, while speaking of Henry! Before I forget, he had a big change too. At the beginning he was a human, not a fae. He was mortal, just like Aiden. And Milan was his real father. I also briefly considered making him Aiden’s cousin at one point, but decided against it.

Thanks a lot for your ask! :)

[semifinel]

February - 2023

Games

Disco Elysium- I’ve actually been slowly going through it for over a year (I would play for a few days and then take a break for a few months and then forget where I am and restart). However I finally finished it and I can very easily say it’s one of my favorite games ever. The writing, the style, the music- what’s not to fucking love.

I could talk about this game for hours and I have actually done that enough to convince friends to play it as well. But I probably can’t say anything that hasn’t been said before me.

Great game- I might be in love with Kim kitsuragi.

Rain world(?)- to be honest I haven’t played it (yet?) but I spend way too much time watching gameplay of it and videos about it, went into a deep dive in the wiki. This world absolutely fascinates me, the ecosystem is just wow- even though it seems like a very difficult game I might actually get it one day.

Decide to include it cause it’s my list and I make the rules, also it ate a chunk of my month.

Monster hunter rise- this is my second time trying to get this game and last time I (apparently) quit before even going on a mission. To be fair it was a combination of my own stupidity and the game’s absolute horrible tutorial that made me drop it so fast.

However given a second shot I’m already having more fun, flipping and riding and monster hunting.

I have no idea if anyone ever cared about a character in this game but the monsters are cool and I love them lots.

Why is there a tower defense section is beyond me- I never liked any kind of tower defense, but this is very much the wrong game for it.

Can’t wait to try a hunt with friends- I heard it’s awesome.

Start again: a prologue- a delightful lil rpg that made me feel a lot. I love time loops as a concept already and this was executed so well- I will cry about it.

Can’t wait for in stars and time!! I need more of this cast and world.

Lookouts- another game I’ve been making my way through oh so slowly, no reason here since it’s not really long. It’s a visual novel and I have trouble focusing on reading, that’s my main issue.

However I’m happy I played it- trans cowboys on opposing sides falling in love and find a way for them to have a life- I am the target audience. I love them.

Hue- sure was a puzzle game. And it was a nice one, pretty sure I got it for free and I mostly used it as something to play while I listen to podcasts. It’s cute and not very long and the puzzles were nice.

Shows

Mob psycho s2- still doing my rewatch, still love my sons.

Darry girls s3- finally got around to it, honestly liked it less then the other seasons however it was a nice end to the show as a whole and I’m glad they wrapped it up nicely.

Animation vs Minecraft- what if I told you the animation you used to watch on YouTube as a child kept going on while you looked away. That there is now a storyline spanning several hours which is very neat and dear to my heart.

How simple are your blorbos? Mine are literally just different colored stick man (they are my sons and I love them very much).

I want everyone to watch it, you can’t understand how hard it goes in the final episodes you don’t understand ahhhhha.

Podcasts

Something rotten- did I start this podcast just cause I wanted more Jacob Geller? Yes.

Am I happy I did that? Also yes.

I do not care even a little about the games they talk about but it’s still fascinating to hear them talk about them (along other kind of related topic)

Personally never heard of Blake Hester before but glad I know him now.

Can’t wait for next season where I might play along since I have one of the games in my library for some reason.

Etc?

The prince by Abigail throne (philosophy tube)- so like one of my favorite trans creators writes a play and uploads it in full- I had no doubt it was gonna be good.

Love the characters, love the themes, and the setting (of being stuck inside a play) is very fun.

But man do I not understand Shakespearean speak but that’s more of a me thing.

Felt a lil cliche/sappy at times but it was cute so I had no problem with it.

[alaffy]

The Baby, Ep.8 – The Possession

Before I watched the final episode, I read that it is possible that the creators of the series left before it was completed.  I wish I could find conformation of this as it might explain why the series end up so disjointed in the second half.  

The recap of this episode is going to be extremely brief.  It pretty much did play out like a typical horror movie and it ends in a way that you pretty much would expect.  Afterwards, I’ll give some final thoughts about the series; although you can probably guess my feelings from my previous posts.

It seems like a little bit of time has passed since the last episode; a few days to a week at most.  Bobbi has started to realize that Natasha was right about the reason why Bobbi wanted a baby.  She also realizes that it caused a strain between herself and Sam; which Sam confirms when she tells Bobbi that she realized long ago that Bobbi would never love Sam as much as she would the baby.  Sam also tells Bobbi that she needs to check on Natasha; that Bobbi was so wrapped up in her own issues that she failed to notice something is really wrong with her sister.  

Bobbi goes to Natasha apartment and realizes something is really wrong.  Bobbi sees Nour in the car and goes to talk to her.  Bobbi makes it clear that she now understands that there is something wrong here and that the baby is doing something to Natasha. However, it’s clear that Nour has given up on Natasha and is waiting for the baby to move on to the next woman. And, yes, the rest of the episode plays out like a typical horror movie.  Bobbi tires to help her sister and it doesn’t go well.  Nour goes to help and it doesn’t go well.  Natasha realizes that she’s got to do something and so she takes the baby to the cliff.  

It looks like Natasha is going to jump off the cliff, but Bobbi is able to sort of talk her out of it by letting her know that Natasha is loved.  Nour comes to the cliff and asks to say goodbye the baby.  Nour takes the baby in her arms and jumps off the cliff. Somehow they manage to MISS THE ENTIRE BEACH and end up in the ocean.  As Nour starts to drown she sees Hellen; but Natasha manages to save Nour at the last minute.  The baby sinks.  

Time passes and everyone seem to be in a good place.  Even Natasha is starting to realize that she can both be a person who isn’t interested in having kids, but still be empathetic to her friends who wish to have one. And, as the show ends, we cut to the beach; where the baby has crawled out of the ocean.

So, in the end, what exactly is the baby? Well, as I figured, it isn’t the manifestation of violence.  Nour says she’s figured it out; the baby is something old and powerful…he is the manifestation of the feelings humans have of being unwanted.  I…okay?  I mean, look, it does make sense.  This is a theme that has been running throughout this series.  And we clearly see this with Natasha and how she’s almost treated like a burden by her friends and family.  And we know that her issues steam from her mother abandoning her; which we then find out stemmed from the mother’s own battles with Postpartum Depression (Which, again, is a main theme in the series).  

But if that’s the case, what is the point of episode five? The whole story between Hellen and Nour, take that out and the result of the show is the same. The only reason that story is there is to introduce to a couple of red herrings (the baby is because of violence and the curse).  Violence against women, violence against lesbians, are extremely important topics; topics that deserve their own attention, not just thrown into the mix.  Especially considering the ending.  The baby is alive; which means there’s always the possibility of telling more stories.  This series could have alluded to Helen’s and Nour’s backstory, but saved it for another season.  

In fact, I’m going back to what I said in a previous post; this show should have ended with episode six. Rather the show should have been episodes 1-4 and 6.  The baby still could be the representation of those who felt unloved and unwanted.  But the story itself would have focused on the issue of Postpartum Depression and how it effects families.  Then, once Natasha confronted her past, it makes the baby disappear.  We could have some hints to the baby’s and Nour’s past; we could also have Nour mention why she thinks the baby chose Natasha.  But leave Natasha’s story there. Then, do a second season that deals with the violence towards women.  Tell the story of Nour and Hellen there.  Don’t just throw it in.    

I won’t say I dislike the series as I do think it did come up with a unique way to discuss Postpartum Depression.  However, the addition of serious subjects that are only used for red herrings, leads to too much confusion and, quite frankly, kind of turned me off at the end.

[musclesandhammering]

Every Single Issue I Have With S*lki (It’s Not Just The Selfcest)

Here goes. I threatened to post this a few days ago and never did, but I just saw a s*lki stan Twitter account claim that Loki caring about Sylvie more than the whole multiverse was a Good And Romantic thing and it pushed me over the fucking edge, so now you all have to read this. I’ve divided it into categories cause there’s just THAT much.

OOC Bullshit

• First and foremost, no amount of mental gymnastics you do will ever make me believe that this specific Loki- the one that just invaded New York, that just came off a year of Thanos Torture, that just got done being influenced by the sceptre, that was literally in the middle of a crisis already, and then on top of that went through all the trauma of Ep 1- would even be worried about a romantic relationship. That would be the furthest thing from his mind. Go back and watch how he acted in Avengers- you think that guy would abandon his previous mission to become a snivelling simp for a girl he’d just met 3 days prior? Yeah, there’s no universe in which that makes sense.

• “It’s very in character for Loki to fall in love with himself lololol-“ NO, it’s literally not. Out of all the characters in the mcu, I don’t think I can think of anyone that genuinely hates themselves more than Loki. He even referred to all his other male variants as “monsters” and said meeting them was “a nightmare” in this series. He’s got so much self-loathing, plus the fact that he genuinely thinks himself to be an evil backstabbing scourge- so there’s no evidence at all suggesting that he would ever develop a fondness for, or even be inclined to trust, another version of himself, after only knowing them for 3 days.

• Building on that, the whole concept of Loki falling in love with a version of himself just feeds into the annoying ass misconception that he’s a narcissist. No matter which way you stack it, he’s not. If you’re referring to NPD, he doesn’t fit the criteria, and if you’re saying “narcissist” just as a slang term meaning “selfish and arrogant”, that still doesn’t accurately describe him. But when creators like Waldron and Herron do things like having him fall in love with himself, it makes it so much easier for casual viewers to think that he is.

Shitty LGBT Rep

• It’s kinda sus that Loki’s are allegedly genderfluid and yet the only female-presenting variant we see (and apparently the only female-presenting variant there is, cause the male Loki’s all seemed unfamiliar with the concept) is treated as some kind of mind-bogglingly special paradox. Also very sus that, out of all the Loki variants, the one our Loki falls in love with just so happens to be the only female one. What a coincidence.

• The fact that the creators of the show went around bragging about Loki’s bisexuality and Marvel purposefully (lbr) allowed stories about Loki possibly having a male love interest to circulate, specifically enticing queer viewers to watch the show (you know, the definition of queerbaiting), and then instead of having a male love interest (Loki was the first queer main character, so it was the perfect opportunity) they gave us *gestures to this dumpster fire* this… it’s just a middle finger to LGBT fans. The fact that they would rather have this relationship with all its myriad of problems than have a gay relationship is just……. Very telling.

• While him being with a woman obviously doesn’t refute his bisexuality, the fact that they showed/talked about him being interested in 3 different women (flight attendant, Sylvie, Sif) and never even hinted at him being attracted to a man, definitely makes it seem like they were trying to cover up his bisexuality to smooth things over with the more homophobic viewers. You know? It’s like “I know you’re pissed that we sorta confirmed Loki as bi, so we promise we’ll never mention it again! Or even hint at it! As a matter of fact, we’ll give him lots of female lovies and make him seem as straight as possible! That’ll take your mind off of that horrible crumb of queer rep, right? Please please please keep giving us your money!!!”

• Aside from all the other issues, at its core, the biggest reason why I think I’m so irritated with s*lki is that it took one of the most interesting, complex, and diverse characters in cinema atm and squished him into a tired ass unnecessary heteronormative subplot…. Like literally every. single. other. protagonist. ever. Loki is such a unique character, and it’s so so so incredibly disappointing that they stuck him into that same boring cookie cutter romance that happens to every other character in every other movie I’ve ever seen. It’s a disservice, and it’s honestly just not compelling or entertaining at all.

Thematic Issues Galore

• His arc didn’t need a romance. With anyone. It was unnecessary and it didn’t make sense plot-wise. In fact, one of the reasons he was my fav prior to this was because he was the only big-name mcu character whose story wasn’t muddied-up by a romance that didn’t need to be there. So much for that.

• He wasn’t emotionally ready for a romantic relationship with anyone. Hell, just a genuine friendship would’ve been pushing it for him at this point. He was in such a bad state that any relationship he got into would’ve been toxic and unhealthy for both him and the other person, and it doesn’t make sense why the writers would want to put him in one when there were so many cons and essentially no pros (other than “Uwu aren’t they cute together”).

• Sylvie’s character in general was unnecessary and Loki’s character was robbed just by her being there. The whole show became about her post-Ep 2. They spent most of the time giving her backstory, building her up, telling us how awesome she is, trying to convince us to like her, etc when what they really needed to be doing was building Loki up- cause I gotta say, if I had to describe TVA!Loki in a few words, they would be Flat, Boring, and Weak.

• The romance overtakes the plot. They spend time portraying their supposed connection that could’ve been spent adding depth and complexity to literally any of the characters. They make the big Nexus Event them giving each other googly eyes on Lamentis when it could’ve been so many other way more profound things that speak to the fundamental nature of Loki’s. They have the climax of the finale be “oh no she betrayed him to kill He Who Remains” when it could’ve been something way more compelling (Loki having a moral crisis over whether or not to kill HWR, Loki contemplating the state of the multiverse and weighing the pros and cons of freedom vs order, Loki looking into some What If situations and getting emotional about what could’ve been regarding his family, Loki realising the gravity of HWR’s offer and finally coming to terms with how important he is to the universal cycle, etc etc). The entire plot suffered in favour of a romance that half of us didn’t even want.

• It essentially reduced all of Loki’s potential character growth down to “He did it for his crush.” He seemed to at least have some motivations of his own in Ep 1-2 (feeble as they were) but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, literally every action he took was just him being a simp for her. Why did he lie in the interrogation? To try to protect Sylvie. Why did he fight the minutemen and Timekeepers? To survive kinda, but mostly cause it was important to Sylvie. Why did he get pruned? Cause he got distracted trying to confess his crush to Sylvie. Why did he try to get out of The Void? Cause he thought Sylvie needed him. Why did he stay in The Void? Cause Sylvie was staying. Why did he try to enchant Alioth? Cause Sylvie told him to. Why did the multiverse get cracked open, leading to an infinite number of Kangs waging war on all of existence? Cause Loki didn’t wanna hurt Sylvie in their fight at the Citadel and then get distracted by her kissing him. It’s uninteresting and honestly pretty embarrassing.

• Throughout their “relationship arc” the writers do their absolute damndest to convince us that we should like Sylvie more than Loki. And you know what? It’s the most hypocritical shit I’ve ever seen. They preach and preach about how Sylvie’s life has been so difficult/we should feel bad for her/she had it so bad/poor poor sylvie/she had it SO much worse than pampered prince Loki…. But then they never even touch on any of Loki’s trauma of hardships (the ones that have been ignored for literally 3 movies now). They frame Sylvie as a good person and a Freedom Fighter after she spent literal decades/centuries mass-murdering brainwashed TVA agents and showing exactly zero remorse for it….. but then they make it their mission to constantly remind us that Loki is a terrible person and constantly put him in situations where he’s forced to acknowledge his wrongdoings/show remorse/admit to how “evil” he is for being a mass murderer for like 2 years. They show him on-screen having a wider range of powers than her, and perpetuate his whole shtick of being a “master manipulator” or whatever….. But then they make Sylvie “the brawn” more competent, intelligent, and physically capable than him. Tell me how it’s a good thing for a ship to be so narratively biased toward one character.

Missed Opportunities

• If they absolutely had to have a romance subplot, then they could’ve paired Loki with one of the characters that have already been established OR one of the characters that were a big part of the whole TVA storyline anyway. It would’ve been so interesting if they’d revealed that Loki had a history with some of the players from previous films (Sif and Fandral both come to mind). It also would’ve been really interesting if they’d given Loki a love interest that actually had some allegiance to the TVA as a whole (Mobius maybe, but not necessarily. It also could’ve been Renslayer or B-15). Hell, imo it would’ve been cool if they’d followed through with that “See you again someday” line that he said to the flight attendant in Ep 1. ALL of these characters have way more chemistry with him than Sylvie, and they were also already relevant to the plot without wasting half the show to give background info on them.

• If they absolutely had to have a hetero-presenting love story involving an enchantress-type figure, then there’s a whole Enchantress (Amora) that was actually Loki’s love interest in the comics. Plus, fans have been screaming for Amora to appear in the mcu for years. Plus, Tom literally pitched an Amora/Loki storyline way back in 2012-13. Also, Lorelei (another enchantress) is also one of Loki’s love interests in the comics, and she already exists in the mcu (she was on Agents of SHIELD). There were several different established characters for them to choose from. Creating a whole knew amalgamation of a character and going with the “she’s a Loki variant” storyline was just completely unnecessary and made no sense.

• They completely robbed us of a Chaos Twins dynamic. Had they handled Sylvie better and not forced her and Loki to smooch, the two of them could’ve had a really really complex and interesting sibling relationship. Loki could’ve stepped into Thor’s shoes and sort of used that new role to gain some self importance, and Sylvie could’ve finally had somebody to look out for her/teach her magic/be there for her. It would’ve been very aesthetically pleasing, the vibes would’ve been out of this world, it would’ve been way more profound than this bs, and frankly it would’ve been much more entertaining to watch.

• Loki’s relationship (read: obsession) with Sylvie completely overshadows all Loki’s other relationships in the show. Loki and Mobius were literally the focal point of the series in Ep 1-2, but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, they barely had any interactions with each other, and Mobius pretty much faded to the background entirely. Loki had the beginnings of a pretty interesting antagonistic relationship with Renslayer (with her wanting him pruned, then arguing with Mobius that he couldn’t be trusted), but after Sylvie showed up the dynamic shifted to focus on the history between her and Ravonna. Loki and B-15 started off very badly and openly disliked each other throughout Ep 1-2, and then in the end of Ep 2, Loki showed a little bit of concern for her when she was possessed, hinting that they might be inching toward a reconciliation- especially considering how obvious it was that Loki was gonna uncover the TVA’s sins eventually. There was so much potential for him to be the one to give her her memories back and convince her to change sides, but no, of course that honor went to Sylvie. In fact, after Sylvie showed up, Loki and B-15 never even spoke to each other again.

Various S*lki Fails

• If they were trying to convince us that this affection was mutual, they completely failed. There’s nothing I’ve seen that even hints at Sylvie feeling the same way about Loki that he does about her. At most, I’d say she has a slight endearment to him. She finds him likeable and she’s grudgingly fond of him, but she definitely isn’t in love with the guy. Maybe she thinks he’s cute and hopes that he gets out of this mess alright, but her mission obviously comes before him- whereas, it’s been confirmed multiple times that Loki cares about her above anything else. She doesn’t trust him, she looks at him like he’s an incompetent fool half the time, she shows little to no reaction during most of his confession moments, and she kissed him as a means to distract him so that she could get him out of her way. Look, all I’m saying is, when you get into a relationship where one of you is way more invested than the other, it never ends well.

• This goes without saying for a lot of us, but the selfcest is just straight up odd and cringey. If you’re cool with that sort of thing, fine! People can ship what they want! But don’t pretend it’s not at least a little bit uncomfortable. Yes, I know they’re not technically siblings so it’s not technically incest, and they’re also not technically the exact same person, but they’re similar enough that it makes things weird. And yes I know selfcest can’t happen in real life, so there’s no way to judge it morally, but neither can most of the other stuff that happens in these shows/movies (the Snap, Loki destroying jotunheim, superhero with powers being held accountable, mind control) and yet we still find ways to judge their morality, because they all mirror real-world events. (The snap= genocide; Loki destroying Jotunheim= bombing other countries; superhero accountability= weapons accountability; mind control= grooming and coercion). And lbr the closest real-world mirror to two versions of the same person (who may or may not share DNA, family, backgrounds, physical and emotion characteristics) being romantically involved with one another is incest. And you can be ok with that if you want- that’s your prerogative- but don’t get pissy just cause a lot of us are squicked out by it.

• The whole mirror metaphor (learning self love via each other) thing just fell completely flat. First of all, having Loki learn to love himself by looking at someone who mirrors him did not, in any way shape or form, require them to be romantically involved. But they were. Of course. Secondly, the creators have contradicted themselves so many times on whether Loki and Sylvie are the same or not, that it doesn’t even really register to the viewer that the mirroring thing was what they were going for. Finally, Loki and Sylvie are shown to have so little in common- and to have only the most bare minimum of similarities personality-wise- that it doesn’t even make sense that Loki would “learn to love himself through loving her”. Like? They’re nothing alike. So how would he make the connection that he himself is actually pretty cool, based on her alone? There’s virtually nothing in her that reflects him.

• I know the objective of the entire show was to convince us of how awesome and unique Sylvie is, but honestly her relationship with Loki just did the opposite. A hallmark of a Mary Sue is having her constantly upstage the male lead, and then having him instantly fall madly in love with her anyway. And that’s.. exactly what happened here. Everything they’re doing to try to force her character to be more stan-able is really just forcing her to look more like their self-insert OC. Which is exactly what she is. It would’ve been so much more satisfying if she didn’t have to try so hard to look cool, if they didn’t have to try so hard to make her backstory tear-inducing, if they didn’t have to turn our protagonist into a snivelling simp just to prove how incredible she supposedly is. Very much #GirlBoss energy and we all know how performative and cheap that is.

• The entire thing was too rushed, there was too little build-up, and it was nowhere near believable. As stated above, it’s ridiculously unlikely that Loki would canonically even be interested in Sylvie, and this show did nothing to explain why he was. He just suddenly was. There was nothing they showed us as viewers that would justify a guy as closed-off and preoccupied as Loki falling head-over-heels for a girl he just met. Their was no explanation, no big revelation, no reasoning, it just… kinda happened. And I’m also severely skeptical of any love story that has the characters go in this deep after only 3 45-minute episodes of exposition.

I’m sure there’s other stuff, so if anyone thinks of anything, let me know and I’ll be more than happy to add it. Tagging @janetsnakehole02 @raifenlf @natures-marvel and @brightredsunset800 for expressing interest. This is all your faults.

[thefanficmonster]

Corpse’s Girl

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Bullying, Swearing, Derogatory Terms

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Summary: Y/N’s life as a regular college student is forever stripped away from her when her relationship with the famous YouTuber Corpse Husband is accidentally revealed during an online class of hers. How will she cope with the sudden spotlight and the unwanted attention, some of which crosses into bullying?

Requested by my amazing Tumblr friend @itsminniekat 🥰 She’s been reading and liking my works since day one and I honestly couldn’t be more grateful. If you’re reading this, all I can say is thank you, darling. Thank you so much for sticking by my blog even when I posted some crappy fics. I’ll make sure this ain’t one of them. Love you with all my heart. ❤❤❤

P.S. - I named the mean character with my name so I hope no one who reads this has the same name. Wouldn’t want any of you feeling like the villain 😘

Who knew online class would be even more boring than being physically present for a lecture? Seriously, I find myself doing the weirdest of crap to entertain myself - like trying to balance a pen on the tip of my nose for example. I jot down some notes every now and then but that’s basically it. My mind can not fathom the concept on concentrating on whatever my professors are going on and on about. Well, full disclosure, I couldn’t concentrate even if I wanted to, especially with my boyfriend streaming in the other room.

He’s currently playing Among Us with his usual gaming squad. Listening to his input during the discussions, I can always tell when he’s lying. I honestly find it hilarious that his friends can’t pick up when he’s bullshitting them. I sometimes wonder if he has brainwashed them. And that’s one of the main reasons we don’t play Among Us together - he can’t lie to me. Not only do I pick up on his con with ease, but he always says he feels bad when he lies to me which is just the sweetest thing. Also, I refuse to play cause I’m shy. His friends are all well-known content creators and I’m a literal nobody. Every now and then I find myself wondering why Corpse is even with me. He’s always quick to push those thoughts out of my head and make sure they don’t return on a long notice, but they do interrupt my peace from time to time.

“Y/N, do you know?“ The sound of my professor saying my name takes me out of my eavesdropping of Corpse’s stream.

I panic, but quickly improvise, “Sorry, my internet is slow, you cut out for a second. What was the question?” I feel my face heating up, making me glad we are allowed to keep our cameras off.

“Question number 15 on page 82 in your textbook. Do you know the answer to it?“ My professor repeats himself, his tone annoyed.

I look down at the page that’s already opened in front of me. I let out a sigh of relief, seeing that the question is rather easy.

“Yeah, um, it’s...“ Suddenly, Corpse’s laugh reaches my room loud and clear. There’s no doubt my mic picked up the noise, especially since the door to my room is open.

The color drains from my face as I hurry to say the answer and remute myself. My eyes are wide as I stare at my screen, hoping no one will acknowledge that very recognizable laugh.

“OMG Y/N, are you watching a Corpse Husband stream in class?” One of the bitches in my class, Vy, speaks up, “Not a very goody-two-shoe move on your part, dear.” 

I purposely unmute my mic to mumble a quick ‘Shut up, bitch’ that somehow manages to fly under my professor’s radar and the class continues. It’s the first time something like this has happened and I’m not sure if I handled it properly or not.

The class ends shortly after, allowing me a sigh of relief as I disconnect from the meeting. 

“Fucking finally.“ I mumble to myself, leaning back in my desk chair. Tilting my head backwards, I see Corpse standing in the doorframe. I grin, not only because his presence itself makes me ten times happier, but also because he’s upside down from my viewpoint. “Well, hello there! How long have you been spying on me?“

He struts over to me, leaning his face over mine, “Long enough.” His lips linger above mine without any actual contact before he pulls away, allowing me to sit up straight and proper in the chair. “You still have classes?”

I nod my head while disappointedly rolling my eyes, “Yeah. One more. Shouldn’t be too bad since it’s English Lit. You’re done streaming?”

“Yeah, I just have some other things to do. I haven’t done a narration video in a while, I miss making that type of content.“ He plops down on my bed, running a hand through his messy black curls.

“Weren’t you recording some lines a few days ago?“ I frown as I try to recall if what I’m referring to actually happened or my brain is too fried to decipher reality from my bootleg perception of it. Online class, man - messes with your head like sleeping pills - makes you disoriented and exhausted with barely doing anything other than trying to wrap your brain around a lecture or two.

He hums affirmatively, “It’s not a finished project and I don’t even know if I’ll use those or rerecord them. I’ll have to listen to them again before I make a final decision.“

I tilt his chin upwards with my pointer finger, a gesture he has told me he finds very endearing, “I’m sure they’re great and you just refuse to be satisfied. Everything you do is great.“

He smiles a small, shy smile, his fingers gently wrapping around my wrist, holding my hand in place, “You’re biased. You like me too much to tell me when I do some bullshit.”

I scoff, “You know that isn’t true. If someone’s gonna kick your butt in formation, it’s gonna be me.“ I give him a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away from him, “Go on, now. I have a class to attend. You distract me enough while you’re in the other room, I can only imagine how hard it’d be for me to focus if you were right by my side.“

He smirks, bowing a little as he makes his way out of the room, “You flatter me.”

I playfully roll my eyes, getting my headset back on as I tap the last class for the day. We have an assignment due to the start of the class which we’ll have to present if the professor approved of it. We basically had to write a psychoanalysis of a character from any book of our choice. I chose Heathcliff from ‘Wuthering Heights’ which is one of my favorite books of all time. I’m proud of what I wrote and the way I wrote it, but I’ve always barely scraped by with a B in this class, a B+ if I’m lucky, so I’ve never gotten any major credit, even when I put my 110% in the assignments and projects.

Well, color me surprised when the professor calls on me first to read my work, complimenting it on its detailed and specific nature. I get my printed assignment out in front of me and unmute myself.

“I wrote a psychoanalysis on for Heathcliff, a character from Emily Bronte’s novel ‘Wuthering Heights’.“ Just after I say this line, Corpse’s voice booms throughout the whole apartment, no doubt being picked up by my mic. It doesn’t sound like he’s actually talking, he can’t be that loud. I put two and two together when I recognize the lines he’s saying - the ones he recorded a few days ago. They’re coming from his computer speakers. He probably didn’t check the volume before playing back the recording.

I mute myself as quickly as possible, but it’s too late. The voice dies down as Corpse probably turned down the speakers.

My professor, who is already done with this lecture, just annoyedly remarks, her words overdosed with sarcasm: “Read your assignment and you can go back to whatever it is you are watching.”

“Wow, Y/N! Again?! Are you one of those crazy obsessed fans or something? Is Corpse Husband all you watch?“ This bitch is really poking a stick at me, huh? The only crazy obsessed fan here is her, and my friends but they are allowed. Little do all of them know, I am obsessed but not simply over a YouTuber. I’m obsessed with my boyfriend who just happens to be a YouTuber.

“No commentary, please.“ The professor scolds her, “Go on, Y/N.“

I finish reading without any other disturbances. The professor compliments my essay again when I’m done, the small incident at the beginning forgotten already. Well, not by everyone. One of my friends shot me a quick text to joke about it which only earned an eye roll from me.

My friends don’t know that I’m dating Corpse either. As I said, they are simping HARD over him while I act the most indifferent on the subject. Whenever they ask my opinion on him I either say ‘he’s OK’ or just avoid answering completely. I know saying anything more enthusiastic than that would turn into a snowball rolling down a snowy hill - I’d just keep babbling about how nice, amazing, wonderful and a gift to this world Corpse is, inevitably revealing our relationship in the process.

I’m afraid of revealing my relationship with Corpse in front of these people. They are all run on jealousy and selfishness and I can only imagine how mean they’d be about it. I’m already not too fond of them, it would only be worse if any of my personal life was exposed.

When the class finally ends I remove my headset, putting my forehead down on the desk, barely missing the keyboard. I groan in frustration and anger at myself for not fighting back. I could’ve and should’ve said something - ANYTHING. But what? That’s a question I can’t find the answer to.

“Hey...“ Corpse’s hesitant voice comes from behind me, “You ok?“

I straighten my posture, turning to him with a smile. “Yeah, but these people suck.”

I get up from my chair as he approaches me, basically falling in his arms. The comfort I feel radiating off of him makes me relax, forget the past hour or so. He has always had this effect on me. Like my own personal kryptonite to my anger and anxiety.

“Did I get you in any trouble because of that?“ His voice shows clear concern and guilt. 

I wrap my arms around him tighter, burying my head in his chest. “No, don’t worry about it.“ 

And I really wasn’t in trouble. Not until now that the video is officially posted....

I can call these people dumb all I want but they sure put two and two together awfully fast. They recognized the lines they heard during class as the same ones from his new video that came out almost a week after the incident, aka two days ago. It’s safe to say I haven’t touched my phone or computer since.

“This is all my fault.“

Of all the horrible things I suspected would happen this has to be the worst - Corpse is blaming himself for it. I am prepared to take all the shit these people have to throw at me but seeing Corpse beating himself up over this is killing me. No amount of convincing can change his mind. Nothing I say helps.

“Please, stop doing this to yourself. Non of this is your fault, Corpse.“ I’ve repeated this sentence more than a thousand time these past forty eight hours, each time saying it more and more desperately.

“All of it is my fault, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I hate myself so much.“ Has been his reply single time.

 I can’t watch him be so mean to himself. It’s the most conflicting thing when the person you love most is torturing themselves. It’s easy if it’s someone else doing it, you just kick their ass. But what are you supposed to do when the person you want to protect is the same one you need to protect them from.

Corpse has shut himself away in his recording room these past few hours and though he clearly needs to be alone, he still left the door open just a crack cause he knows I’ll be worried sick otherwise.

While I’m alone in the living room, I’ve finally managed to brace myself and build enough courage to power up my laptop. Last time it was on it was going mad with notifications.

“It’s digital. Only digital. It can’t hurt you too badly if it can’t touch you, right?“ I mumble to myself, already frustrated despite not having yet seen all the horrors that await me.

And horrors there were. Everywhere. Twitter. Instagram. Facebook.

My grades. Some pictures of me no one has ever seen. My school files. People from my class tweeting Corpse to ‘expose’ me for the ‘slut’ or ‘bitch’ I really am. Corpse hasn’t touched social media either and I plan on making sure it stays that way. God only knows how much worse he’ll get if he sees these claims.

And then, like a notification sent straight from hell, an email from my professor.

Practical lectures on Friday. Be here at 9 AM. Don’t forget your mask and gloves.

Good thing I opened my laptop when I did. Friday is tomorrow and I need to prepare for this day. Not only do I need to hit the books but I need to toughen up a bit. I can’t go there looking like I feel - like a mess.

Alright, time to put the brave face on. No more wallowing in it, at least not until tomorrow afternoon.

I make a study plan and hop in the shower. I feel the need to apologize to my hair for washing it so roughly, basically yanking at my strands from frustration that has been suppressed for too long.

I get our of the boiling hot shower, red as a lobster, and change into some clean comfortable clothes and put my ass in study mode. I remove all the scary expectations of the morning to come from my mind and let the information the textbooks has to offer seep into my brain.

                                                            *  *  *

I’m about to head out and, despite my put-together composure, I am a wreck inside. I actually put effort into my appearance, I mean - I even styled my hair. A pretty façade to hide a ruin.

I saw my friends’ texts last night, all three of them ending their friendship with me because they felt betrayed. I haven’t yet decided how to feel about that. Doesn’t matter at the moment, there are more important matters at hand, aka surviving the next three hours.

My college is within ten minutes walking distance from our apartment. That ten minute walk has never been so stressful, not even during exam season. The air feels a little harder to breathe, the path a little shorter to walk. And my moment of reckoning a little too close.

I feel eyes on me the second I start walking through the park of our campus. Sure, I could just be paranoid, but the feeling is too real to be just my imagination in overdrive. I’m glad I have my hair down and a mask on so the redness of my cheeks and neck isn’t on display. That’s a sign of weakness right now.

We have two an hour and a half long classes between which we have a snack break that’s half an hour. I usually enjoy that period but I’m dreading it now. These assholes can only be so mean in the presence of a professor, but during lunch break they can increase that tenfold. 

“Well if it isn’t Corpse’s girl.“ I hear that a lot. The whispers are not so much whispers as intentionally loud enough for me to hear remarks. I’m not bothered by them, it’s the least they can do. If I let such a simple thing get to me, I’d be crumbling by the end of first period.

I hear some shuffling behind me and out of the corner of my eye I see, yeah you guessed it, THAT bitch. She’s standing as close to me as she can without violating Covid regulations. A mask is covering her face but the menacing look in her eyes tells me all I need to know about the interaction that’s about to go down.

“I’d ask how much he pays you for the hour.....“ her long nails tap the wooden desk, “but that’d be rude. I bet it’s tough being a maid. Do you just clean or are you a multipurpose lap dog? No offense, I’m genuinely curious.“

“Vy, would you be so kind as to give Y/N some room to breathe?“ The professor asks as he nonchalantly walks in.

Vy rolls her eyes, batting her eyelashes at me, “Talk to you later, sweetheart.” With a fake friendly wave she’s out of my hair, at least for now.

Remember what I said about these people not being as dumb as I pegged them to be? Yeah, scratch that. These fuckers actually tried getting away with taking pictures of me with flash in broad daylight. Like, HELLO! I have two functioning eyes and a brain, I’m onto you. Sadly, me having figured out their childish but hurtful methods of humiliating me doesn’t change much. They still posted the pics they took, using the most derogatory terms they could find in the English language, always making sure to tag Corpse and me both.

Needless to say, these were the longest three hours of my life.

                                                              *  *  *

Shutting the door to our apartment behind me causes relief of the highest levels. I feel like I’ve locked out all the bad shit I have had to deal with these past twenty four hours. 

I’m tired. I’m fucking exhausted. I feel like a discarded piece of paper. 

And it all starts crumbling. A wall is bound to start slowly falling apart after being hit over and over again, each time feeling the blows with a stronger intensity. 

I slide down the door sitting down on the floor and slowly taking my shoes off. I put my bag beside me and wrap my arms around my knees, hiding my head in the space between them and my chest.

One tear slides down my cheek.

Another follows.

And another, this time accompanied by a choked sob.

A pair of arms wraps around the ball that my body has been shaped into. One of his hands comes up to stroke my hair gently, feeding me the comfort I have been longing for since I left the apartment this morning.

“I saw it. All of it. All the shit they talk about you. All the names they call you. And I’ve never wanted to beat so many people up simultaneously.“ His words make me raise my head from its low position, giving him a knowing look. “I wish I could. I would, but that would land me in jail. Which doesn’t even sound so bad cause I don’t like going out. Only problem is you wouldn’t be with me. I wouldn’t want you to be there with me, don’t get me wrong, I’d never want you to end up in jail. I-...” I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. A quick kiss that says so much but mainly shows the immeasurable gratitude for his support.

Seeing those awful tweets and comments had the complete opposite effect on him. He no longer blames himself but the people who actually deserve the blame - all those jerks from my college.

I pull away, giving him a small smile. “I would never let you go to jail.” 

He smiles back at me, overjoyed that my mood is slowly being lifted, “Come on, I have a nice crowd that would like to meet you.”

I know exactly what he means. Felix, Sean, Rae, Dave, Sykkuno and the rest of his friends. The people I’ve been so shy and afraid to meet since day one. Being shy doesn’t really make sense now, seeing as how they know I exist and that I’m a part of Corpse’s life. 

What do I have to lose?

“Guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.“ Corpse’s black avatar runs around my cyan one in the Among Us lobby.

I can’t help but giggle when I unmute my mic, “Hi everyone! It’s so nice to finally meet you.“ They each introduce themselves, expressing how happy they are to be meeting me too.

It’s the first time in what feels like a while that I’m truly having fun. These people are wonderful, each so unique and lovely. They never brought up the scandal nor acted as though they knew about it. I know they did and I am beyond grateful that they never mentioned it or treated me any differently because of it. Also, Corpse was streaming the whole time. I had my phone on his stream, my eyes nervously scanning the chat every now and then. I couldn’t believe it. Corpse’s real fans were just as wonderful as his friends - they were nothing but supportive and happy to have met me.

Now, I can either choose to believe these people were being so nice to me out of sympathy or I can believe they really like me and appreciate me for who I am and not for what happened to me. 

I choose to believe the latter.

And while I’m still getting accustomed to this whole new spotlight, I know I’ll be able to handle it as long as I’m holding Corpse’s hand in the process. All I need is to have him beside me and I’m prepared to tackle anything.

“They love you.“ Corpse tells me once the stream is done and we’ve hopped out of the Discord call, “But I love you more.“

His arms wrap around my waist while mine instinctively find their way around his neck, “I love them, too. But they’re at the number 2 spot.”

He smirks at me, “I wonder who’s at number 1.”

I push up on my toes, putting my lips an inch away from his, “Hmm, I wonder...”

He doesn’t let me finish, silencing my teasing with a sweet, loving kiss.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat

[pale-silver-comb]

So I know absolutely nothing about Leverage except what I've been seeing you post lately and I have to admit you're making it look tempting to watch! Can I ask what are some of your favorite things about the show/reasons you would suggest people watch it? And is there really a poly relationship that is canon?

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I am going to do my best not to just “asdfghkjl” at you and answer coherently.

In a nutshell, Leverage is about 5 people. 4 are criminals (Parker, Hardison, Eliot and Sophie) with different and unique skill-sets and 1 is an ex-insurance investigator (Nate) who, at one point or another in his career, has tracked down (or at least attempted to) the other 4. The whole show is essentially: man reluctantly reforms 4 criminals to use their criminal powers for good and 4 criminals move into man’s life and stubbornly refuse to leave because, goddammit, now they have morals. 

I’ve got a lot of favourite things about the show but the main ones are as follows:

1. Found family. And I’m not talking about loners who come together to fight crime and happen to co-exist to the point where they realise they happen to have found themselves a family. I mean, Nate and Sophie are the Drunk Uncle and Wine Aunt who somehow become Mom and Dad to 3 beautiful criminal children. Mom and Dad love their criminal babies and the kids love them (as well as each other, but we’ll come to that in a moment). You get amazing family moments such as: Mom and Dad packing the kids lunch before sending them out to kick corporate greed’s ass; Mom and Dad giving the kids ridiculously expensive and personal Christmas presents causing their most Grumpy Kid to go very very quiet and soft as he runs off to gleefully play with his new murder toy; the kids interrupting Mom and Dad’s big Movie Style Kiss to ask if they can please keep their new underground layer and huffing and puffing when Dad tells them no.

2. Found family: the OT3 edition. To answer your question, the OT3 is indeed canon, confirmed by the creator. Now, usually, “confirmed by the creator” infuriates me because most of the time it’s a way for a creator to be seen as “progressive” without doing anything to actually be progressive. That isn’t the case here. The OT3 are built up carefully and while it is obvious the creators didn’t originally intend for all 3 of them to become a relationship in the romantic sense, by mid-season 5 we are given a very clear picture of where Parker, Hardison and Eliot are heading in their relationship. There aren’t any kisses at the end to signal this but there are solid marriage vows in not only one but two episodes. (And by marriage vows I mean literal equivalents of marriage vows: “for better or worse” and “’til death do us part”. I’m not even exaggerating). The OT3 also doesn’t need explicit romantic narratives to convey how much they love each other. Their love is laced through the whole show, from the way they teach each other things to the way they respond to each other and work as a unit. The way they fiercely protect and admire each other. Like someone once said, if you need characters to kiss or say I love you to let the audience know they love each other, you are writing them wrong. 

Aside from that, each of the parings in the OT3 are just. Gah. They are so well done, with friendship being the solid basis for them all. The creators never expect the audience to assume anything about them or fill in the gaps. They give us their relationships on screen and reference many things off-screen to show us how these relationships continue to build in between episodes.

Hardison and Parker are a canon couple and date in the show: it’s approached slowly and they are so goddamned sweet. They are basically every fluffy slow-burn trope with a healthy dash of mutual pining in the mix. They are basically that quote “love is patient, love is kind”. (I would like to add their romance never becomes the focus of the show or overrides the importance of any other relationship they have with the other characters, especially Eliot.)

Hardison and Eliot are the Old Married Couple and from day one are already bickering and looking at each other/making comments that are found in every UST fic ever (not to mention Hardison has a very good knack for making Eliot grin like a little kid, when usually he’s basically an Angry Little Chef Man). They argue, they play, and love each other plain as day. 

Parker and Eliot are more subtle but every bit as wonderful. They have an unspoken connection and understand each other on a level no-one else can. Parker and Eliot are not good with giving themselves over to affection for different reasons (and Hardison plays a central role in helping them realise it’s okay to want it and have it- that boy has endless patience) but there is something so beautiful in the way the two of them come together on their own and develop their own special bond that works for them. Parker and Eliot are that trope where the characters don’t need to speak to understand each other perfectly. They just do. Their love language is a lot of the time non-verbal but speaks volumes. (Parker also likes to annoy the hell out of Eliot and Eliot....just.....lets...her. Because he’s soft. The softest, grumpiest boy.) 

I could go into so much depth for each pairing and their dynamics as a 3 but that's for another post.

3. Subverting stereotypes. There is the occasional hiccup in the show regarding stereotypes but ultimately, Leverage gets an A+ when it comes to writing characters and making them 3 dimensional people who are not defined by certain characteristics or events. Nate could so easily fall into the White Man Pain trope where he uses the trauma of losing his kid as a reason as to why he is entitled to act like a dick. Nate is a dick but he doesn’t use his pain to excuse it and I appreciate that. Hardison is a black man who is soft and nurturing. Easily the most empathetic and patient of the group. He’s nerdy, an actual genius, and has the biggest heart of all the characters. Nate is maybe the glue but Hardison is definitely the heart. Media’s usual aggressive, amongst other, racist stereotypes can fuck right off. Parker is canonically autistic (I am sure this was confirmed by one of the creators) and she is not defined by it. It’s not written as some kind of singular personality trait. It’s part of what makes up Parker but it’s only one facet of who she is and not once is her actions, thoughts or feelings treated like a joke. Sometimes people don’t understand why she does and says the things she does but it’s met with patience and fondness over the course of the show. Equally, it’s not met with over-caution. Parker is just Parker. No-one tries to change her. The other nice thing is Hardison, who always makes sure Parker knows she’s amazing because of who she is and not in spite of it. Finally, Sophie is in her 40s. She’s not treated like she’s past her prime. Ever. She’s sexy, smart and never is she pitted against or compared to Parker (who is younger) for anything. Sophie is amazing and there’s never even a conversation of “I may be older but I am still *insert adjective typically associated with younger women here*”. Sophie is possibly the first female character I’ve ever seen who isn’t just unapologetic about her age but has never had to apologise for her age. It’s a non-issue and that’s that. The women on the show are written so well, right down to secondary characters and it’s beyond refreshing.  

4.) It’s just fun. The show has a “monster of the week” type format. Except instead of a ghoul or a ghost, the monster is some corrupt wealthy and powerful individual or organisation. The show draws on real-life individuals to do this and therefore closely parallels real-life people and events. It addresses important political, economical, social and environmental issues while at the same time remaining fun and light-hearted. The characters constantly get the chance to play dress up and by GOD do they have fun with it. You get to watch Eliot beat up bad guys in the most delightful of ways, usually after a witty non-sequitur and with a weapon you’d never think could be a weapon. The dialogue and back and forth between the characters is everything. And finally - my favourite thing- the team can never resist striking a dramatic pose after they’ve taken down the bad guy, making sure the bad guy sees them. I mean, they COULD just walk away, satisfied they’ve taken the person down, but nope. They gotta be dramatic bitches 24/7 and pose like they are models for every single month of this year’s Criminal Calendar.  

5.) Competence Porn. So. Much. Competence Porn.  

Honestly, I could list a thousand reasons for why Leverage is amazing but to list them would to be spoiling so many amazing moments you’d get to discover for the first time on your own if you do choose to watch it. It’s the kind of show you can watch with an eagle-eye and sink your teeth into. But it’s also the kind of show if, you would prefer, put on in the background for something entertaining while you do something else. Each episode is about the job at hand but it’s made up of so many moments between the characters that show how much the creators and writers care about them. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll do whatever it is you do when something Soft and Wonderful happens that makes your heart melt. I am so beyond grateful for Leverage. It’s everything I always wanted in a show. Nearly every show I’ve watched in the past 10 years has disappointed me in some way, usually either because the writers run out of steam or characters who I love are treated poorly or given some kind of unnecessary “shock value” arc. Leverage doesn’t do that. Leverage is what it says on the bottle. Fandom isn’t something I joined because I needed canon fix-its. Fandom only enhances and celebrates an already excellent canon. 

[radiantlyrey]

Thoughts on Uprising Ep 6 Isolated

- *rubs hands together* yessssssss give me the Paige backstoryyyyyyyy

- I’m gonna say Beck is mostly better at stealth missions?? Like this one still ends badly (for the most part), but at least he didn’t get caught in the middle of a bad situation like usual

- interesting to see Paige’s living quarters, and the last vestiges of her former life!! A photograph and a sound board. Poor bird…..

- aerial chase scene is pretty nice, tho less nice for Beck and Paige given it ends with them wrecked on an island

- like, I don’t have much to say about the A plot of Beck and Paige?? I love that Beck’s humane approach to being the Renegade shines through repeatedly with him. He won’t derezz programs, and he won’t let them die, either. Kiddo’s doing his best, and good for him.

- and then: MY GIRL QUORRA SHOWING UP IN FLASHBACK!!!!!!!! I love that they got Olivia Wilde to reprise her role here!! It’s so interesting to see what Quorra was like during the Purge (and before Flynn, too). You can tell that she’s not completely clueless or helpless; and while she may be naive in some respects she isn’t totally stupid either.

- also love/am interested in the whole thing about programs generally staying within their functions, and straying from that, while not totally taboo, is kind of unheard of and frowned upon by some. Paige is a med program who wants to make music. And I love that Quorra encourages her interest!!! Isos being unique in that they have no directive and can do anything they want—which is why Clu wants them destroyed, because anything he cannot control is dangerous and could turn against him. But I love that Quorra thinks that freedom should be extended to regular programs, too. It’s a sweet little moment between her and Paige.

- other stuff.. hm….. I can tell the creators were sort of positioning Beck and Paige as like the main relationship (romantic or otherwise) of the series?? Like, the flirting, for one thing. And then these moments of trust building and breaking between them. Given the reveal at the end with Tesler, I think maybe the eventual plan may have involved Paige switching sides??? But we’ll never know, because there’s only one season and argh.

- speaking of That Reveal: I mean, we all knew Tesler was a bastard, but damn is he a Bastard. For all we know he had his men mess up the med center, too. But this definitely has the feel of something that would have come back to bite him in the ass in a later season with Paige. Like, you wanna talk about trust betrayed?? Killing Paige’s friends for no real reason is not gonna win you points when Paige finds out, ya jerk. Even if you did mentor her. Ugh. Thinking about what could have been makes me sad………

- other interesting details: interesting that Isos are seen as a contaminating force on the Grid!! Like, obviously Clu would make up anything to get rid of them. But still interesting that it’s seen that way. (Also I love this detail bc my fic The Outpost deals with a virus that turns out to be biodigital in nature, so it’s almost like I did it on purpose!!) // also interesting: apparently big enough disruptions to the structure of a place (or a program; see Beck’s arm) can cause it to derezz?? I just like that and I may file it away for future use…….. // also just. Getting this backstory on Paige highlights in a way some of the moral decisions we’ve seen her make, such as with the drill in ep 4. She was a med program; she helped programs get better and heal, and there may be some part of her that does not want to end lives needlessly. And I love that about her. Ugh. She’s hands down the most interesting character in this show and I love her so much!!!

- so yeah!!! Good good episode, would watch again, 10/10 no notes (except these)

[rantrambles]

Ever get so upset you make a Tumblr account to vent?

I haven’t even listened to The Penumbra Podcast yet but it’s on my list because it’s insanely popular and the cosplays I’ve seen are hot as hell (A+ to all the cosplayers I’ve seen you’ve done great work). Now, with the recent news surrounding the podcast, I’ll wait till it’s done if I ever do get into it. I’m Asian and part of the LGBT community but I’m not nonbinary so I can’t say much about the trans represention in the art but I wanted to add my two cents on the matter as a person of color and someone examining the situation from the outside. Also, before I get deeply into it, I’m not the only person of color with opinions on this matter so if people have their own frustrations and criticism with the racism in The Penumbra Podcast and/or the new artist they hired, definitely listen to them too. These are my own personal opinions, and I’m sure other people will disagree and that’s fine. We’re all going to have different views on this so bear that in mind. Also, feel free to correct me or add anything if I’ve missed some information. Here’s a great breakdown of the whole situation for those that don’t know what happened. Finally, I was very hesitant to post this, but I felt it was important because I make a statement at the end on how race should be presented in a podcast format so if you are interested in making a podcast and want to have a diverse range of characters, please skip to the end to read those thoughts.

I’ll start off by saying, I’m not even that upset with the new artist that The Penumbra Podcast hired. I know that statement alone is controversial but I don't personally know them, and I’m not going to judge who they are as a person by a few pieces of art they’ve made. They are the least of the problems that I have here. Since the announcement and the backlash, I’ve been scrolling through the artist’s Instagram account and I can tell why people find the designs offensive, but I’m also comparing the designs to the artist’s other work, and I honestly believe that’s just their style. They’ve exaggerated the features of just about every character they’ve made, regardless of race or gender. From what I’ve seen the sharp angles and overly round curves in the anatomy that make some of the character’s features more jarring are how they prefer to draw. I’m sure they’re capable of drawing more realistic proportions but for the most part they’re art aims to call attention, be bold, and create distinguished features. Not inherently a bad thing on its own.

And yeah I’d understand the issue if this were a scenario where the artist heard how these characters acted in the podcast and thought “hey, obviously this character is a black woman because they are super strong and therefore must have big muscles, no other woman could look like that” or “hey, this character has to be Asian because they act super seductive sometimes better draw them as such.” But from my understanding the race was already decided by previous official artists and a general description of the characters were already generated by the audience, similar to how The Magnus Archives leaned towards drawing scrawny Jon with black, greying hair and dark skin. The new artists couldn’t really change those features even if those features aren’t described in canon because a depiction that strayed too far from popular fandom interpretation would make the character’s unrecognizable to the fanbase. 

I think the reason this became such a big issue for most people is because the new Penumbra artist used their exaggerated art style when making these characters and people of color and nonbinary folks already see themselves drawn as these exaggerated caricatures all the time (with those images being used to further discriminate against them). I’m sure the artist didn’t mean for their art to be offensive, but that of course doesn’t change how it was received. 

According to some, the poses and expressions the artists chose did not fully represent the characters entirely and only served to further perpetuate harmful stereotypes, and I’ll have to take their word for it because I still haven’t listened to the podcast so I have no idea how the characters act. But again much of the criticism is based on the one line-up and doing a deeper dive into the artist’s work I managed to find artwork that was much less offensive. Here some art where Vespa is depicted in a non-violent pose and one where Vespa is in a threatening pose but not an overly violent one. Here is Peter drawn in a non-seductive pose. Hopefully, the artist truly does keep the criticisms in mind as they work on the new official art. I’m just not the type of person that wants to get the pitchforks out and cause this particular person to lose a job they seemed really excited about over their old character line-up, especially when that person is also part of a marginalized group.

Again, that’s just my opinion on that particular artist. Those who are offended by their art are still valid in how they feel, and the artist should absolutely take their criticism to heart to better how they represent the characters.

What I’m more upset about is that I think The Penumbra Podcast should never have released official art for their characters in the first place and that’s their mistake that they refuse to own up about. They have made it clear that the story was never meant to portray characters of colors, a fact emphasized by the fact they hired mostly white actors from the start. They only started releasing art of the characters to get a profit. And the thing is they know what they did was wrong. All I had to do was search Penumbra Podcast racism and there is a note on their website saying that they archived some old official art.

“We have discontinued all Penumbra merchandise that uses the original character designs, and in the meantime, any profits on the sales of that merchandise will go to the For The Gworls project. We also realize that the depiction of these characters as POC, while not appropriate for us to use in our marketing and merchandise, has nonetheless become personally meaningful to many POC listeners. For that reason, and because we do not wish to distance ourselves from our mistake, we are keeping these images on our website for archival purposes. Though we do want to make it clear that many of the main/featured voice actors are white and that we did not write the characters to represent any specific POC experience, you are, as always, free to imagine these characters in any way that you like.”

I went to their shop and they still sell posters and pins with the character’s faces on them, but they are donating it to a good cause so hopefully that stays the same. However, I still find it a little uncomfortable that they are still selling character merch and have plans to continue selling character merch. They have no right to dissuade the fans that already found representation in the characters, but they also have no right to profit off the representation that was built, regardless if they made the story. 

Let’s compare this to another piece of popular media. I love Avatar the Last Airbender and, I liked the ATLA voice actors just fine but there should have been more people of color doing voice acting behind the screen too. The voice actors for that show were mainly white too, however, the creators knew that they would be making poc characters. That’s what makes the difference. Did they still choose to go with mostly white voice actors? Yes. Could they have done better and pay more people of color? Also yes. But I’m not as furious at them because they did their research on the cultures they were basing the ATLA world off of and intentionally gave us a show where Asians could see characters that looked like them represented on the screen. The Penumbra Podcast did not do any of that. Again, they openly admitted that it was never their intention to make the character’s people of color when they made the podcast so that goes to show no research was made to properly represent specific cultures. The color of the character’s skin in their official designs therefore became more of aesthetic choice rather than representation, and it wasn’t even their aesthetic choice to begin with!

Race isn’t a color you can just throw onto the character because you feel like it. So I want this to be a lesson to anyone that wants to make a podcast: if you want to include poc characters please do some research into the cultures you plan to represent the way you would with any other form of media. Just because the audience can’t see the characters and just because it’s harder to smoothly introduce the character’s appearance doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be lazy on how you present the characters. Do research before you start writing the first episode and take the time to hire poc actors. Hiring poc actors is actually the least that can be done to show representation. Also, since the audience cannot visually see the race of the characters on a podcast and it can’t typically be described the way you would in a book, you’ll have to be creative. It’s not my job to say how, but my suggestions would be, before the fans come up with their own image of the character, you need to establish race in the first few episodes or release character profiles on a website so that the fans know you canonically intended the characters to be of a certain race even if you aren’t able to mention it in the actual podcast. If you are unwilling to do any of these then the best route is to avoid stating race at all and allow the audience to build their own representation into your form of media. However, once this happens, you are not allowed to profit off popular fan interpretations. You lose all rights to create official art or images of the characters. You cannot use “we have a diverse cast of characters” when you market your story. It doesn’t matter whether you created the content or not, you did not create the representation for those minority groups.

It’s one thing for fans to build their own inclusivity into a form of art like a podcast, but it’s another thing for the creators who never worked to make the representation happen to take advantage of the representation that the listeners built for themselves. Thank you for attending my TedTalk.

[noperopesaredope]

Rhombulus Rewrite Art!

Guess what my beautiful chimeras! While I’m working on Season 4, to satisfy you during the wait, I decided to draw my redesign of Rhombulus for my Rhombulus Rewrite!

Now, let me first just say that I absolutely adore Rhombulus’ original design and think it’s honestly an amazing one. I respect the creators and think the design is very fitting for most elements of his character.

But unfortunately, the changes I made for my rewrite have caused the OG design to not really work with said rewrite. I said that rather than being childish, Rewrite Rhombulus is basically going to be a child. So I decided that, mainly for fun, I would do a small redesign (it only works for this rewrite though, not for the OG show). Note: half the reason I’m doing this is for fun and because I had an idea and though “ooh, that’d be neat!” and just did it.

So without further ado, here’s the redesign:

Artist’s notes under the cut (might mention certain story related things too)

I wanted to keep at least some of the primary elements of Rhombulus’ OG design, so I specifically chose to keep his snakes (and their general look because I love the snakes), his crystal head (despite it being a different shape), his eye being his only expressive facial feature, his nipple demons (though they are no longer nipples), and his hood.

The implementation of some of these traits were different, but a lot of the main ideas were the same. Also, I’m hoping I can color this in an use most of Rhombulus’ OG color palette because I did keep that in mind for this redesign.

As said in Part 1 of this series, I first got the idea of a chimera as the inspiration for this, and kept with that theme. But it slowly became a chimera of chimera as I unintentionally added in new, yet related creatures into it.

As I said, first was the chimera: front half is a lion, back half is goat, and tail is snake. But overtime I realized that there were other things mixed into it too. The second thing is a manticore. This is because he has a slightly humanoid face, a lion’s body (on the upper half), and, well, I’ll explain the tail a bit later when explaining each part of the design. The third thing is a satyr, which actually helped me in figuring out how to draw his legs, as I used preexisting art of satyrs as a reference.

The reason I used chimeras is, well, I don’t fully remember, but I do know that it makes him very much more monster like, which is going to be pretty important to the story, and because it adds to the mythological element of him. While they follow the queen, the MHC are still near godlike beings of immense power, and I want to capture that a bit more.

Now that I explained the main inspirations, I decided to add a breakdown of each element of the design and it’s purpose/incorperation into the story. I had a lot of fun with this, so I hope it’s pretty interesting why I chose to make the design the way I did.

First are the snake tails. I’m considering perhaps making them a bit like a shoulder angel and shoulder devil, to go with 1) Rhombulus’ impulsive nature and how he needs someone to help him think things through, and 2) the fact that part of his job involves imprisonment/punishment, so it would be part of his moral side. The snakes could also become a fun source of comedy if so desired, arguing with each other and having fun banter with both each other and Rhombulus. Kinda like Kronk from The Emperor’s New Groove.

The other purpose of the snake tails would be for fight scenes. Rhombulus was made to be the muscle/fighter of the MHC, and he’s canonically been on the battlefield the most, so he probably has the most fighting experience. This is why I gave him a bit more tools for these jobs, and the snake tails are part of that. Like in the show, during fights, he freezes them to use as weapons during battle.

Here’s an example of how he freezes them. But in this rewrite, for this design, he actually uses them a bit like scorpian tails (might draw an example image later). So this is the purpose of the snake tails.

Onto his goat legs. I decide to add the goat legs because, honestly, I though they’d look cool. But they can also add a bit of character and show a bit of his connection to Lekmet. After all, part of the reason he was created was to be a translator for Lekmet. I think this could be kinda sweet, and they share similar feature in that way. One thing that you might not be able to tell from my drawing is that the legs are designed to look like they are made of crystals. The hooves are crystal, the little things on the heels are crystal, etc, etc.

Now for his lion arms. These show his strength and are helpful in fights because they are quite muscular and have crystal claws. I was going to also give him opposable thumbs, but didn’t feel like drawing that, and decides that it would be better to just make them like normal lion’s front legs. He cannot grab things with his paws. At most, he can only claw or bap. I think that would be slightly funny to see him try to open a door before one of his snakes rolls its eyes and opens it for him.

Next is his mane/hood. I couldn’t decide if it is just a mane or just a hood, so I might ask ya’ll to help me decide. I might just give him a mane with a hood on top of it that looks just like said mane and blends in with it. I already explained the implimentation of the hood, and feel like the mane is just another way to impliment parts of the OG design.

Then there is his head. It is shaped very different from the OG head, but I still like the idea of a crystal head, and it’s such a prominent design trait, that I couldn’t take it away. I did reshape it a bit though, and added some crystal ears to make it even more crystally since I wanted a few more major crystal features.

One thing I noticed as a whole about the MHC is that all of them (except for Rhombulus and maybe Reynaldo?) have horns. So to make him fit in more, I gave him some horns. But they are also crystal horns because that would look cool.

I also tried to keep his actual face (aka, the singular eye) the exact same since I loved how they used that specific element of his design in the OG show. It looks a bit sharper here because I tried to make it a bit more lion/snake like, but I honestly prefer his original eye, so pretend that that’s what’s actually there. The way they animate his eye is also going to be the same here, because as I said, it can be very effective and you can find lots of ways to animate his face with just the eye alone. I also think this could make his body language into his main point of visual expression. It’s basically the same reason Rebecca Parham doesn’t draw mouths. So I just decided to keep this particular trait.

Lastly are his clothes. I didn’t really feel like changing them all that much, so I kept the pants mostly the same, but a little longer so it felt less like he was wearing underwear. I also needed to keep the two nipple demons, but since I didn’t feel like adding them onto his nipples (didn’t want to draw as much attention to his chest since he is presented to be a lot younger in this rewrite), I found other ways to add them it.

At one point, I was going to add what were basically crystal stegosaurus plates down his head and back, but that was 1) a little too hard to show and 2) felt like it would be a little much. I honestly prefer the lion’s mane anyways, as it makes slightly more sense and incorporated the hood in a way that fits thematically.

So that’s the redesign! As I said before, I didn’t make this to “improve” the original, just make something different and present an alternate interpretation. The prototype designs for the MHC were all diverse and amazing, and all equally pretty good, it’s just that they each set a different tone. This is an idea I had and I wanted to put it out there. So this is that. Hope ya’ll liked it!