#this is the age my mom had me at
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This has been such a weird time of my life because my friends are having kids and I keep violently oscillating between “aw, wouldn’t that be cute for a kid if I had one?” And “I’m single and terrified of the idea of messing a kid up”
#emma posts#this is the age my mom had me at#it turns out I was mixing up the date that happened for several years#she had me at the same age as I am now#and every time my surviving grandparents have a health scare I think ‘if I have a kid I would like them to meet’ but I know#that that’s not a good reason to have a kid#most of the time I don’t care that much#I’ve got my cat. I’ve got a lot of time for hobbies. I don’t have to worry about an entire separate person#I’m actually pretty content with that area of my life#but when I see my grandparents especially my brain starts overthinking this#my uncle never had kids though and my grandparents just seem happy he got a girlfriend and a dog#I’m the eldest grandchild on that side btw#my other grandma got to meet a lot of her great grandchildren#and I was one of the youngest grandkids so it was kinda assumed I wouldn’t have kids she would meet#but not certain considering her mom lived to be 102#or was it 101? I think it was 102. I’m really tired right now#I’m also not in a position financially to support a whole second human and I don’t even have a partner so 🤷♀️#I won’t be having kids any time soon#and most of the time I’m pretty chill about that. it’s just an occasional thing#but I’m more scared of having kids and unprepared than I would ever have to be if I did have kids#I don’t hate kids or the idea of them one day but i really don’t want them now#and I really am good with that. it’s just unintentional family pressure that got to me today#but they met and love their great grand cat 🐈⬛ so it’s whatever#I really do feel fulfillment taking care of animals and just living my life#my biggest problem rn is getting out of the damn house more#besides visiting family. going to the doctor. and getting groceries
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winter
#i checked back thru my priv archives and i first thought of this one in july. had a completely different comp but same concept :3#big desolate monochrome nothingness in cold harsh winter with one stark streak of red#even silver blends into it but oguggh lilia will keep him safe and warm in his arms#probably the least briar valley-esque bg ive drawn in ages. im obsessed w that place like girl it aint REAL#BUT IT IS. IN MY HEART.#i hafta fill out a bunch of paperwork tn and ask my realtor abt a title company etc etc yada yada i will call my MOM AGAIN !!#also work had holiday TREATS for us and the nice security lady lori who i love chatted w me again!!!!! I LOVE HER#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#suntails#I ALSO GOT TO VISIT MARKETING!!! YIPPEE!!!!!
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You were born.
I was in fact born.
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I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#fop hazel#fop dev#dev dimmadome#art#digital art#doodles#I wish Hazels parents were more flawed tbh...#Like I get why they wanted to have them be good rep so that young people could know what a good family is supposed to look like#but it felt like every time there was an opportunity to have them do something genuinely flawed-#they would perfectly sidestep it before it even became a problem#I really enjoyed the first episode because it showed a hint of a very unique emotional issue Hazel had related to having a therapist mother#The idea that she has to be mature all the time#constantly living around therapy speak makes her feel like she isnt allowed room to breathe#Feeling unable to express her emotions without someone there giving advice that she isnt ready for yet#just small things!#She feels so pressured to be emotionally mature all the time BECAUSE she gets praised for it#maybe im projecting everyone always tell me I was so mature for my age...#But like I really really wanted to see that from her!!#And then after that episode it doesnt even come up again#The only other episode that features the moms job as a conflict is the one where she wants to spend more time with her#which is a fine conflict I guess but it still ends with her saying all the perfect things#I wanted Markus to be more of a genuine threat too. even if he didnt actually do anything having him be more looming would have been nice#I feel like they mostly forget hes a para scientist most of the time idk.#I just felt like his interactions could have been more unique#Maybe he will be in future seasons idk
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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To anyone who headcannons Harvey having grey hair and crow’s feet, may your pillow stays at a comfortable temperature on both sides, your socks are dry and cozy, your coffee is the perfect temperature, and nothing bothers you on a perfect day. ☺️
.
#sdv confessions#sdv#stardew valley#sdv harvey#❤️❤️❤️❤️#people liking chars with greys makes me happy bc i started greying when i was 22#and my mom likes to remind me that my grandpa had a bald spot by age 30 (she wants me to stop taking T i will not be stopping)#can u guys romanticize bald spots next?
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i was so curious about how old vanilla was considering she’s a mother and when I looked it up I feel fucking crazy…… 32…… you had cream and 26……. and you were a single mother the entire time … first of I’m gonna destroy whoever left you alone to fend for yourself second of all oh my god you SHOULDVE been at the club 😭😭😭😭😭
#txt#BROOO 😭#like maybe I have a whole different perspective bc my mom had me at like 30 so this is kinda crazy to me 😭#I think my age bracket for mothers is a lot higher than I realized 😭😭😭😭
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obligatory pokemon au time!!
#milgram project#haruka sakurai#yuno kashiki#fuuta kajiyama#muu kusunoki#shidou kirisaki#mahiru shiina#kazui mukuhara#amane momose#mikoto kayano#kotoko yuzuriha#woah what the fuck u can do 30 images at once now#i didn't draw es with their singular eevee bc i thought the limit was 10 still whoops#anyways--#haru has a singular tiny budew that follows him around and loves him. he is afraid of it#yuno has a furfrou bc she loves big dogs. and liepard bc she's cat coded#i like to think fuuta makes really amateur lowpoly 3d renders so i think itd be fun if he had boys to make art w him#muu got herself a BIG HERACROSS when she was tiny and her mom was like. cringes. don't you want a girl pokemon for girls??#and baby muu was like SHE'S PINK!!!!! and would not let go of her buggy#a sableye approached her and tried to eat her earrings. the vivillon is from her dad#my friend pointed out shidou would be the exact age for playing gen I hence the squirtle#blissey bc nurse joy. his blissey used to carry around the gloom in her lil pouch when she was just an oddish#the eldegoss is his wife's!! but she tends to tumble about in the breeze and find shidou a lot#i actually started these drawings bc mahiru going OVERHEATTT in her t1 song made me think incineroar#she treats him like a big kitten!! and her phantump is her tiny baby#OK I CAN'T FIND W HO BUT SOMEONE DREW KAZUI WITH A SHINY APPLIN AND IT'S THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THING TO EXIST#he's got a lil bisharp that wants to be a kingambit but hasn't been able to evolve#and kazui is like. ah. action figure bug. for boys. cant live up to his manly potential. i relate deeply with this man#amane got an espurr bc she deserves a cute kitty. castform reminds me of her cult's cloud symbol thing#mikoto=morpeko connection has been made a billion times but it's true. he finds it eating his redbull cans at the office
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When you're talking to Patty, you only have male family members. REMEMBER THAT
#even when otto tries to help he gets knocked down#trolls#trolls oc#trolls oc cory#trolls oc otto#trolls oc patty#trolls comic#trolls ocs#patty and otto are bonding .. idk what theyre doing but theyre doing it together#maybe patty had to go to the bank or something and they ran into cory#otto just serves step kid who didnt want to run errands with his step mom#even though hes older than patty#probably. i havent decided but wouldnt that just be so funny#“patty we should break up.. i cant date someone the same age as my son 😭” “otto is older than me ma'am : )”#pobodys nerfect#WHAT WOULD YOU DO???? YOU WOULD DATE THAT MILF!!!!!#WHAT WOULD YOU DO???? YOU WOULD DATE THAT DYKE WRESTLER!!!!!#anyway
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anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
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I will always defend Dawn for whatever “bratty behavior” she has or whatever. Because youngest sibling recognizes youngest sibling.
#ESPECIALLY WITH THE BIG AGE GAP LIKE THATTTTG#literally the age gap between me and my sister#it can be really difficult to be that age of like 12-14 and feel like no one pays attention to you#while you watch everyone praise your siblings and they have everything you want#buffy has friends and a mentor who cared about her deeply and a boyfriend#and something that made her ‘special’#while dawn had none of that really#and when their mom died Buffy had all of that and maybe dawn just felt like#she was borrowing it
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“How can this many people simply vote for Trump in the first place?”
✨Gaslighting✨
And
✨Teaching themselves apathy because they have been pushed to the brink and are only focused on their own survival and think that this guy will give it because he
gaslight themmmm✨
#literally know so many Trump voters that are okay with you being yourself in any way AS LONG#as you don’t say the magic words or do the magic things#they have trigger words which make them instantly turn their brain to pure anger and most have forgotten why this is at this point#gaslighting#manipulation#my mom encouraged being a tomboy but not the label trans#she even let one of my siblings call themselves a boy as they were growing up#she also has memory issues so she believes that a bullseye appearing around a tick bite only was a thing after the Covid vaccine#despite her son having had a bullseye YEARSSSS ago (long before Covid)#she supports me age regressing as long as I don’t say the magic words age regressing#she buys me legos and gives me some baby toys sometimes#she is fine with me wearing animal ears and all as long as I never say I’m a furry or a therian#she is gaslit obviously.#she only believes because she has been convinced and then convinced to convince herself that she had to believe some things#grandparents when you say you have ptsd 😡😡😡 grandparents when you say that sometimes you feel lost outside your own skin and#stuck in the past in such a painful realist way you almost feel like it was all really again 🙂🙂🙂 ‘‘me too!’’#the use of langustics to shape a cult and a people’s minds#cat rambles#us elections#us politics#us election#election 2024#election day#donald trump#trump
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I find it funny how my version of Travis stoll is the most fucked up, angsty and complex character ever
And Connor is just: Gay, ace, hangs with Drew and Lacy and has no fucking clue about the state of Travis's mental state (it's not good)
#In my defence Travis has been assigned eldest sibling issues by me#Then the entire paragraph on him goin 'i'd honestly just prefer it if dad was possessive and dark cause at least someone's caring for me' -#just happened some time after#(in my defence I was inspired by me reading dark Poseidon fics)#the stoll brothers#pjo#pjo Travis Stoll#pjo Connor Stoll#Connor Stoll#Travis Stoll#pjo headcanons#pjo headcanon#Orignally I just had Travis be slightly traumatized from Hermes (turns out seeing dead people. losing your mom at a young age ->#& psychopomp dad is not a good mix) but more or less indifferent to him#then I thought of not really funny jokes about Travis just nonchalantly joking about daddy issues#and then it spiralled so now he just craves for approval like me :)
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Me: okay yeah I'd like not to be single but I'm okay with it, I'm being mature with my emotions, I'm fine with waiting and--
Random lady: oh is (baby I'm watching) yours?
Me:
Me: 😭
#hhnghgn nno she's not#rambles from the floor#and all of a sudden it hit me that when my mom was my age she was married and already had a kid#and I'm almost the age my older sister was when she got married#and I'm sitting here being miss anti-social having never even gone on one date#hhhhhh ignore me I had to just get that out#remind me to delete this later pleh
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when u accidentally become collateral damage in a mother-child argument
I KNOWWW i know this isnt what the scene is meant to be bcs bioware would never be brave enough to go there but the first time i got it i was like.
Wow! it's probably a bug or something, but it's such a cool moment bcs it's so Casually Realistic.
Like, ive been there!
You go through your life just minding your own business and then you casually get Gendered and have to take a fucking Moment. And then you just have to nod and smile. Because you know it's not on purpose and you can't even blame someone for the Assumption and you will die if you're ever impolite to a stranger. So you just stand there like 😃
It's less about the misgendering and more about the "Oh. Right. I Am Perceived By People In a Very Specific Way. And I Just Have To Live With That."
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all that said. i think this game has spoiled me irreparably bcs the way they handled the Player-Character-Is-Trans thing is the best that I've experienced with this type of game. like. ever, i think.
like yea bg 3 gave u the option to be NB also but it never ever comes up outside of character creator. dav gives u Dialogue Options.... and i honestly didnt know i wanted that from a game before i saw the 'unlocks future dialogue options' thing pop up. dragon age the game that you ARE!!!!!!
#kunst huli#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age veilguard#datv#datv rook#dragon age taash#datv taash#datv spoilers#kind of?#genuinely was disappointed once i finally realized shathann just airs out taash's laundry unprompted no matter ur rook's gender#we could have had it all...it would have made sense........do u understand do u see my vision.........#like with taash's storyline with their mom n all....IT WOULD HAVE MADE SEEENSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#release the misgendering patch bioware#fully joking of course but man. for a moment in time this was 1 of the most realistic nonbinary experience depictions#obligatory 'everyones experience is different'#but u get me#part of the reason i go by any pronouns. cant misgender me if its MY choice ☝#the other part is that i just dont care#zea dao oc#wait did i really put dao instead of dav in that tag.#i mean technically it works. so whatever i guess
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embarrassing confession of mine but I've never played Dragon age 2 and ive only ever seen Gay fenhawke on tumblr, so I was under the impression that fenris was 100% gay and I was like 'wow go bioware.' I only JUST NOW found out he's bi via the first ever female fenhawke art I've ever seen rolling along my dash.
#fenhawke#dragon age 2#fenris#had no clue#genuinely never knew#is this the gay agenda my mom warned me of#too late mom
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