#besides visiting family. going to the doctor. and getting groceries

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

This has been such a weird time of my life because my friends are having kids and I keep violently oscillating between “aw, wouldn’t that be cute for a kid if I had one?” And “I’m single and terrified of the idea of messing a kid up”

[surreality51]

My little boy turns 1 years old this week. He is a real miracle. I know people talk about the miracle of life etc etc. In his case, it really is a miracle that he is here, because we weren't at all sure he was going to make it.

(Long ass post under the cut. Warnings for discussions of pregnancy and pregnancy complications, consideration of abortion, infant medical conditions, childbirth, medical procedures/surgery, and religion)

When we went in for our 20-week anatomy scan, the maternal-fetal specialist delivered devastating news: our baby had severe heart abnormalities. There were parts of his heart she simply couldn't find on the scan, and parts that appeared to be on the wrong side. Her best guess: DiGeorge Syndrome. She recommended genetic testing and a referral to a regional specialist for high-risk pregnancies. She also gently offered to refer us to a clinic if we decided to end the pregnancy.

We took the sheet with the clinic phone numbers and walked out of the doctor's office stunned.

The next few days were the worst days of my life.

There were so many unanswered questions. Was it DiGeorge? If so, how severe would it be? Would he be able to walk? Would he be able to eat? Would he even make it to term?

On top of all these questions, there was that list of clinics sitting on our dresser and a ticking clock in our minds. Our US state allows abortions up to viability, which was generally 22-24 weeks. We were at 22 weeks. My husband and I stayed up for three nights debating what to do. We wanted this baby, but we didn't want him to live a life of suffering.

That Sunday, we went to mass as a family--us and our two girls. It was the first time we had gone since the pandemic started, our first time in three years. The girls talked about how excited they were to have a baby brother. My husband and I pasted smiles on our faces and said nothing about what we were considering.

At the end of mass, after the priest had given his final blessing and people were gathering up their things, a woman came up to us. We had seen her before at church, but we had never spoken.

"Congratulations!” she said, pointing at my round belly.

“Thanks,” I replied automatically.

“You don’t know me,” she continued, “but I remember you guys from before the pandemic. Your younger daughter was just a baby then. She’s a big kid now!”

We smiled and introduced ourselves and our daughters.

“Are you having a boy or a girl?” the lady asked.

“A boy,” my husband replied.

“How nice! I have three boys. This is my youngest,” she gestured to the young man beside her. He was taller than her, but they shared the same dark hair, mocha-toned skin, and broad smile. She patted him on the arm. “He’s home visiting during spring break from college. They grow up so fast.”

He waved hello.

Then she turned toward us, smiling kindly, and said, “You’re going to have so much fun."

We thanked her and said we hoped to see her again next time.

I didn’t think much about the exchange, as we had to get the girls some lunch and then go grocery shopping, but later at night after the kids were asleep and my husband and I were getting ready for bed, he turned to me and said, “I think we’re going to be okay.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. It had only been four days since the diagnosis, but those four days had felt like four years. I was still feeling like our whole future as a family was teetering on the edge of a great unknown.

“I think everything is going to be alright,” he said, “because of what that woman said. Did you hear? I was praying last night for God to send us a sign, show us the right path, whether it’s to continue on or to abort. Just show us which way to go. And then today a lady who has never spoken to us before, and hasn’t seen us for years, suddenly feels compelled to come up to us in church with her third son and tell us that we’re going to have so much fun with our baby, who is our third kid and is a son. She didn’t have to do that. There was no reason for her to approach us, she's never come up to us before, she doesn't even know our names. But something pushed her to speak up in that moment.”

I stared back at him, dumbfounded. I don’t know much about God or fate (he's the one who is religious, not me), but sometimes things are just a bit too on the nose to be a coincidence.

Ten days later, we got the first part of our genetic testing results: no major chromosomal abnormalities. A week after that, detailed scans with a specialist confirmed the severe heart defects, but no other visible defects.

Two weeks later, the rest of the test results came back: no DiGeorge Syndrome.

Our baby was going to make it.

-----------------

It wasn't all smooth sailing after that. There were still a lot of questions about his heart defects and how they would affect him. In all, the fetal cardiologists identified 10 things wrong with his heart. Usually they can show a standard anatomical drawing of a heart and point to what was wrong; with our baby's heart, they had to hand-draw what his heart looked like, because there were just too many abnormalities. It was that far off from a normal heart.

The craziest part was that he was still alive and growing. It took the fetal cardiologists--specialists who are part of a nationally ranked children's hospital and who see complex cases every day--nearly two hours to figure out how our baby was still getting oxygen circulated when his heart was so fucked up. (Usually a diagnosis takes 45 minutes.)

It turns out that his defects are a case of "two wrongs make a right." For example, he is missing his pulmonary valve (pulmonary atresia). This is Bad, because the pulmonary valve and pulmonary artery are part of what connects the heart to the lungs. No pulmonary valve or artery means the heart can't pump blood to the lungs to pick up oxygen. It can also lead to a weakened, underdeveloped right ventricle because no oxygen is going to that side of the heart (Very Bad). BUT, if you happen to have a hole in your heart wall (ventricular septal defect), then that hole acts like a back door for the blood to flow from the left ventricle to the side that's not getting any oxygen (right ventricle).

In other words, usually having a hole in your heart is Bad and can require open heart surgery to fix, but in this case is Good because it is a workaround for the missing pulmonary valve.

Of the 10 things wrong with his heart, about half of them are workarounds that happen mitigate the other, more serious defects. The surgeon said that his heart is messed up in exactly the right way for him to survive.

It's amazing--miraculous, even--how the human body can adapt to survive.

-----------------

Despite reassurances from the doctors that our baby would most likely make it to term, I was incredibly nervous that he would be born premature or stillborn. At the same time, I didn't want to induce labor early because my husband and I believe that babies will be born when they're ready and it's generally not a good idea to induce labor unless you have to. But the doctors wanted to schedule an induction because they didn't know what our baby's condition would be at birth--would he be able to breathe on his own? would his circulation adapt to being outside the womb? They usually schedule an induction so they can ensure the whole medical team is available when the baby arrives. (i.e. so the baby doesn't come on a Tuesday and require emergency surgery but the head surgeon works at a different hospital on Tuesdays)

We didn't even have the option to pick the date, it was just whatever day during week 39 when the whole medical team--my OBGYN, the neonatologists, the respiratory specialist, the cardiac interventionist, and the cardiac surgeon--were available. Our case manager told us that we would be notified when a date was selected.

Funny enough, the one date where all the schedules aligned was August 8. (Federer's birthday)

Still, as the induction date approached, my husband and I felt conflicted about essentially evicting our baby from the womb. But we understood that it was about logistics and we didn't really have a choice, so we mentally prepared ourselves to show up at the hospital at 10am on August 8 for the induction.

The night before we were supposed to go in for the induction, I started feeling some tightness in my lower back.

"Haha, wouldn't it be funny if he decided to come on his own on August 8 anyway?" I said.

"'You can't evict me if I come out first,'" agreed my husband.

Two hours later, the tightness in my lower back hadn't gone away and in fact had started to spread to my lower abdomen.

"Hmm...maybe I should go shower right now," I said, remembering that I was too tired to shower for 48 hours after my second kid was born.

The first contractions started at 1am on August 8.

We headed to the hospital around 4am. He arrived on his own at 12:10pm.

————————————-

[My father told me a few weeks afterward that someone must have been watching over my baby, because we almost didn’t get ahold of my mom when I went into labor.

The plan was that I would call her when I went into labor so she could come watch my two girls while my husband took me to the hospital. (Just my mom; my dad was useless with me as a child and I wouldn’t trust him to watch my plants, much less my children.) But sometimes her cell phone reception at home doesn’t work and her phone goes straight to voicemail without ringing. It happened again when I called at 3am on August 8. I tried three times, getting more frantic with each call. Finally I called my dad’s cell phone.

He picked up on the first ring.

He later told me that he had woken up for no apparent reason and had picked up his phone to check the time. It was 3am so he was about to go back to sleep when he saw my call. His phone was on silent and he’s a deep sleeper, so if he hadn’t randomly woken up at that exact moment, he wouldn’t have seen my call nor gone to get my mom.

My dad is not religious, but he told me that someone must’ve been looking out for me and my son that night.]

—————————————-

The delivery was the smoothest delivery of my three children, and I take that as another sign that someone was watching over him and me. As soon as he was born, the medical team was all over him. I got to hold him for a single minute before they took him, because given his heart anatomy, there was a small but real chance that he might not get enough oxygen to his brain or body and turn blue, in which case they would need to start emergency measures immediately. My husband and I knew this going in, and my only hope was that he would be alright and I could hold him, if just for a minute.

He came out beautifully, and my OB placed him in my arms and I got to hold him, touch his little hand, and tell him I loved him before they took him to the ICU. My husband went with him, as was the plan. I was wheeled into the recovery room alone.

With my first baby, I had a level 3 tear and could barely walk for a week after delivery. With my second, I had minor tearing but the anesthesiologist messed up the epidural and so I was laid low with an epidural headache for a week. This time, the delivery was so smooth that I had no tearing at all. I was up on my feet within 24 hours and discharged.

It was a lucky thing too, because I wanted to be with my baby. Most hospitals are not equipped to handle babies with such complex heart defects, so the plan was to transfer our baby to the children’s hospital within a few hours of birth, as soon as he was stable enough to be transported. By the time I was discharged, he was already there. My husband stayed with him the whole time and only left to pick me up and drive me over.

I feel like whatever higher being was watching over us knew that I needed to be there with him too, so they gave me the smoothest delivery possible so I could be on my feet and get over to the children’s hospital as soon as possible.

(I’m sure it being my third baby and not my first probably helped too.)

—————————————-

Being a parent is scary enough, because you hold this little being’s life in your hand and all you can do is hope you don’t fuck them up too badly.

Being the parent of a baby with complex congenital heart defects is fucking terrifying.

On day three, our son had the first of his three planned open heart surgeries. I will never forget the helpless terror of knowing that doctors were going to cut my baby open and do heart surgery on him at three days old. They tell you about the risks and potential side effects or complications before asking you to sign the consent form. The risk of death was low for the procedure, with a 98% survival rate, but 1) we already knew that percentages suck because the chances of having a baby with congenital heart defects in the first place is about 1% and pulmonary atresia occurs in about 1% of that 1%, so we were already screwed by percentages, and 2) the bigger risk is that he would get a stroke or brain bleed or something from being put on the heart-lung bypass machine. They tell you not to Google the chances of complications from the bypass machine, but of course you do, and then you can’t unsee that the risk is somewhere between 40% and 70%.

FUCK.

But you have to sign the forms and let the doctors do their job, because if you don’t do the surgery and risk the bypass machine, the risk of your baby dying from their heart defect is probably 100%.

The hardest thing is knowing that everything is out of your hands, and you just have to pray or hope that your baby comes back to you alive and whole.

I remember seeing him afterwards, with all of the tubes and lines coming out of him and machines beeping everywhere and a gigantic ugly cut running down his chest with stitches holding it closed, and just bursting into tears, because he was so tiny and had to go through all that, and if I could have taken his place, I would have. But this was the hand he was dealt.

I cried again when he opened his eyes and saw us two days later, but this time it was tears of relief, because I could see in his eyes that he still recognized me. He was still in there. He was still whole.

——————————————-

We were discharged from the hospital in mid September, just before my husband’s birthday. It was the best birthday gift ever, and a cause for celebration. But the months following were not easy. Besides the normal challenges of juggling three kids and surviving newborn boot camp, there were the additional challenges from his medical needs:

He was on oxygen support 24/7 because his oxygen saturation levels would drop without oxygen support. He had to wear a nasal cannula all the time, and if he pulled it off, we basically had a few minutes to get it back on him before he started turning a little blue (spoiler alert: babies are very grabby, especially when they have something taped to their face)

If we wanted to go anywhere with him, we had to bring his portable oxygen tank too. The oxygen tank has about 3 hours of oxygen, so we always had to bring a backup too. We were always on a timer for when we had to switch him to the backup tank or make it home in time to hook him up to the oxygen concentrator. My recurring nightmare was that we got stuck in traffic or caught out somewhere and his oxygen ran out and I would have to watch him die before the ambulance arrives. He was on 7 different medications, including 2 breathing treatments that had to be administered twice a day with special equipment. Some medications were twice a day, some were three times a day, some were every 8 hours around the clock, and you cannot forget or mess up the medication schedule. This was on top of feeding him every few hours and doing all the other things for our older kids so they don’t feel neglected. My husband and I joke that we must’ve had it too easy with our first two kids so this time we had to play on hard mode.

————————————-

In February of this year, we got the call we had been waiting for: our son’s second surgery was scheduled for the 12th.

We knew that his second surgery would be somewhere when he was 6-9 months old. The first surgery at 3 days old was to install a shunt, which is basically a connection that allowed him to get blood where it needed to go despite having no pulmonary valve. It was a workaround that would allow him to leave the hospital and grow until he got big enough for the doctors to do the actual repair of his heart. It was never meant as a fix for his conditions, and he would outgrow the artificial shunt somewhere at 6-9 months.

In December, we started noticing his oxygen levels dropping. In January, they were sometimes as low as the 60s. (Normal people are at 95-100% oxygen saturation. His normal target was 75-85%. Anything below 70 was bad.) I wasn’t sure if he was going to make it to his surgery. We watched him anxiously as the day approached, fingers crossed.

The second time is not any easier than the first. This was a complex surgery that would be done by the head surgeon; the first surgery was more routine and was done by one of the other surgeons on the team. Our surgeon was renowned in his field; he even had a procedure named after him. It heartened us to know that we had the best surgeon on our case; it also meant that our case was so complex that only the head surgeon could do the fix. When we asked him how many cases like ours he saw, he said “two or three per year.”

This is a surgeon who does multiple surgeries a day in one of the busiest hospitals in the country.

At least he had seen cases like this before.

The game plan going in was to either do a full fix (anatomical repair) or a workaround (physiological repair). The surgeon said he wouldn’t know which option to do until he got in there and saw with his own eyes what the situation required. Basically our baby’s heart chambers formed correctly (4 chambers in the right place and good size) but all of the major and veins are connected on the wrong side. Veins that are supposed to be on the right side are instead on the left. The aorta comes out of the right ventricle instead of the left as normal. The pulmonary artery, which is supposed to come out of the right ventricle, is straight up missing. So the surgeon could either make the connections go the right way, or make the heart go completely the wrong way. Either option was better than the current half right (chambers are correct) and half wrong (connections are on opposite side). We needed either all right or all wrong.

The risks with the surgery were also greater, because it would be a longer procedure and that meant more time on the bypass machine. The longer you’re on the bypass, the higher the chance of complications like stroke or brain bleed. This was a very long procedure.

The wait in the waiting room is a special kind of hell, because there is nothing to do but wait and think about all the things that could go wrong. When we asked about the risk of our baby dying during the procedure, the surgeon said 15%. When it’s your baby’s life on the line, 15% seems very far from 1% or 0%.

We were told that the surgery would be done around 11am and the surgeon would come to the waiting room to tell us how it went. By noon, he still hadn’t come, and I was trying not to panic that something had gone wrong. Finally he comes at nearly 1pm, almost two hours late, and tells us that our baby’s surgery was successful but they couldn’t do an anatomical repair. They had to do plan B, physiological repair, and make his half-wrong heart all the way wrong. Doing so was actually easier because the heart kinda wanted to go that way anyway, so apparently he got done early and jumped to another surgery. That’s why he was nearly two hours late coming out.

🤦‍♀️

Anyway, so my son has a backwards heart. His aorta is connected to his right ventricle instead of his left, and his pulmonary artery is connected to his left ventricle. The veins connected to his right and left atria were already switched at birth. Most people collect deoxygenated blood in their right atrium and pump blood to their lungs from their right ventricle, then the oxygenated blood comes back from the lungs into the left atrium, and the left ventricle pumps it out to the body thru the aorta. My son’s heart goes the other way: the left ventricle pumps to the lungs and the right ventricle pumps to the body.

You wouldn’t know it by looking at him now. He looks like a normal, happy baby. He loves to eat strawberries and watermelon, loves when his dad reads to him, and loves watching his older sisters. He turns one years old this week, on August 8. We weren’t sure when he was born if he had 6 days, 6 months, 6 years or 60 to live. He’s made it past the first two milestones; chances are pretty good that he’ll make it to 6 years. (Because of his backwards anatomy and the fact that the right ventricle is not designed to pump blood out to the body, there is a 15% chance that he’ll have heart failure and need a heart transplant at some point.)

I don’t know how long we have with him, but I’m grateful for the time we’ve been given so far and will take it one day at a time. He is a true miracle, my baby with the backwards heart.

[elfboyeros]

Sweet Spring

New @jj-pines Indigo and Calvin art drop and I can’t get over it! So, here! Also, this may be one of two depending on if I want to write smut (because I am unhinged, and I can't get over this image and I'm think things!) BUT I'm not promising anything! Here is the Bridgehid Masterlist if you want it too!

Spring on Maquis Island is a beautiful site, all the greenery and flowers along with the little fairies and other creatures on the land. Calvin’s favorite season! All the beautiful growth of the world makes him happy, coming off the death of the winter season it is a wonderful sight watching everything begin to grow again, and of course, his birthday is the last day of April.

The spring season also allowed the Corals’ family gatherings to continue, midday visits to Amethea and Finnian’s cottage or for the whole family to come to the Bookstone-Corals house to sit out on the verandah and enjoy a good brunch and good conversation.

Since it was Indigo and Calvin’s turn to host for the weekend, the two of them were doing the dishes as Amethea, Antoniette, and Finnian could socialize with Spiro as he was visiting.

“I would like to get some new plants tomorrow,” Indigo spoke softly, “I want to get some climbing hydrangeas.”

Calvin hummed with a smile, “and honeysuckles,” she added.

“Where are we putting them?” Calvin asked, quietly.

“I want to put them outside our bedroom window,” She answered, “our bedroom windows, they look so bare compared to the rest of the house.”

“It is on the second floor.”

“I know,” Indigo sighed.

The healer chuckled at the pout on his wife’s face, “Don’t worry, angel, I’ll get you the plants you want.”

She smiled, “You’re the best husband ever.”

After being married for years, she’s continuing to make his heart do flips, “Wisteria may be nice too, could help with fertility too,” Indigo declared, “So would raspberries.”

Calvin let out a laugh as he continued to stare down at her while doing their clean dishes, “You are saying that to a doctor,” he muttered.

“I’m not saying they will, I’m saying they could,” Indigo replied with a little giggle, “I’m sorry that I want to have your children so badly that I'm willing to eat raspberries and put wisteria outside our bedroom windows.”

“What would help our chances is if people would leave us alone,” Calvin remarked.

Indigo laughed, “Then go tell Mère and père to leave.”

“I’m going to tell your parents to leave just so we have sex,” Calvin chuckled.

Indigo shrugged, “No, tell them to leave, I bet Mère and père would understand,” Indigo joked.

“Oh yeah, the same man that looked like he was going to kill me when they all caught us making out in the library,” the healer retorted.

The French mage snickered, “I still wonder if he likes me sometimes,” Calvin sighed.

“He likes you, grenade,” she declared, “but I am his little girl.”

“I know,” he hummed, before he whispered, leaning over making their shoulders touch, “but are also my girl.”

“Careful~”

“But don’t want to be careful~” It’s taking so much self-control for him not to pull her toward him, while her hands are still in the sink, “besides you are the one who brought up babies.”

“I brought fertility!” She exclaimed, before covering her mouth, “that was loud.”

Calvin glanced over his shoulder, “We’re fine,” he muttered.

“The last thing I need is tante teasing me or Uncle Spiro trying to kill you,” Indigo huffed.

Calvin chuckled once again, watching her wash one of the last dishes in the sink as he dried the one in his hand, “If we are going to get plants tomorrow, we might as well get groceries…” Indigo began before he couldn’t process the words she was saying.

He knows she’s talking, and he can hear her beautiful velvety angel voice get he’s not retaining the grocery list she is citing off from the top of her head. No, he’s just staring at her, with a content smile across his lips.

[mikaela-granger]

The Long Wait (Season 6) Chapter 11

Daddy’s Girls

Fandom: Grimm

Pairing: Sean Renard/OFC

The Long Wait Masterlist

A/N: Sean continues to enjoy his weekend with his oldest daughters.

***Sean’s POV***

The next morning, Sean got the girls ready and headed out. He was going to stop in at the hospital to visit Lorelei, Aurora and Liliana before taking Diana and Olivia to do some Christmas shopping. Lorelei had done most of the Christmas shopping already, but suggested Sean could take the girls out to get some last-minute things.

“Mama!” Diana cried happily as she entered Lorelei’s room. “I missed you.”

“Hi.” Lorelei said, a smile crossing her face when she saw them. Sean placed Olivia on the bed before picking Diana up and placing her on it as well. Both girls hugged her tightly. “Oh, I missed you both so much.”

“Baby!” Olivia said loudly.

Sean looked in the direction she was pointing. He saw that Aurora and Liliana were in bassinets in Lorelei’s hospital room. He looked questioningly at his wife as Diana slid off the bed and went to see her baby sisters. “They just brought them down. Said they don’t need to be in the NICU anymore.” Lorelei explained. “They’ll be in here until they’re discharged.”

Sean raised an eyebrow. Yesterday morning Sean and Lorelei had been advised that the twins would be in the NICU for a few more days. Now, a day later they had been moved into Lorelei’s room. “Did the doctor say when that would be?”

Lorelei shrugged. “At the rate they’re gaining weight, he thinks it could be by Wednesday.” Lorelei lowered her voice. “I think the twins are taking after their older sisters. The rate at which they’re gaining weight is similar to how Olivia went from 33 weeks to 36 weeks in a matter of days.”

Sean nodded. The twins weight gain was something that couldn’t be explained. Hopefully they wouldn’t take after Diana in the sense that they aged quickly.  Sean was about ask Lorelei how she was but had to quickly grab Olivia who was trying to climb off the bed. “Daddy, baby!” His toddler said eagerly pointing at the twins.

“I know. Those are your little sisters.” Sean said taking Olivia in his arms before coming to stand beside the twins bassinets.

Lorelei joined them. “That’s Rory and that’s Lily.” Lorelei told her. “Rory, Lily, this is your sister Olivia.”

Olivia screwed her face up, appearing to be thinking hard. She pointed to Lorelei’s stomach. “Baby.” She said before looking back at the twins, pointing at them. “Baby.”

“Yeah. The babies were in Mama’s tummy and now they’re out here, with us.” Diana told her. “And when they are a little bigger, they are coming home with us.”

Olivia nodded. It was hard to tell if she really understood, but she seemed content. She rested her head against Sean’s shoulder, looking at her little sisters in awe. Lorelei had wrapped her arm around Diana’s shoulder, resting her head on top of her blonde hair. Sean felt a wave of contentment wash over him as he looked at his family. He didn’t think it was possible to be happier than he was right now, surrounded by those he loved the most.

After a couple of hectic hours shopping, Sean was relieved when they arrived home. It was just over a week until Christmas and it seemed like everyone was out shopping for Christmas. No wonder Lorelei usually tried to finish her shopping before December, people were crazy this time of year. Diana carried some of the bags in while he took Olivia upstairs. The toddler had fallen asleep in the car on the ride home. He placed her in her bed before heading downstairs to bring the rest of the shopping in.

Diana was putting what had already been wrapped under the Christmas tree. Sean carried the groceries into the kitchen while she did that. The groceries mainly consisted of things for Christmas baking. Diana wanted to make gingerbread men and Sean thought decorating them would be a great activity they could do together. As Sean was putting the groceries away, Diana joined him in the kitchen. “Daddy, will Mama and my baby sisters be home before Christmas?” She asked sitting at the kitchen island.

“I hope so, honey.” Sean answered as placed the flour into the pantry. “But we’ll have to wait and see.” Diana nodded. “How about you go draw a picture for Mama while I finish putting the groceries away, then I’ll make some hot cocoa, and we can watch a movie.”

Diana perked up at that. “Ok.” She said sliding off her chair before running off.

Sean smiled briefly before turning back to finish up his task. He hoped his other girls would be out of hospital before Christmas. It was their first one with Diana, the first Olivia was old enough to understand, and it would be Kelly’s first Christmas ever. Lorelei and Adalind had wanted to make it extra special. Everyone would be gathering at Adalind and Nick’s place for a late Christmas lunch/early Christmas dinner. Although Sean wasn’t sure if he was still invited. Not that he could blame anyone. He had made some…less than stellar choices that impacted the group. He was man enough to acknowledge that. At least he would have Christmas morning with his family, even if he didn’t get to spend the whole day with them.

Shaking his head, Sean put the last item away before grabbing what he needed to make hot cocoa. As he was waiting for the milk to heat up, he thought about his wife. Even when she got out of hospital, she would still require a great deal of help. Although the doctors expected her to fully recover, it would be quite a while before Lorelei was perfectly healthy. Sean had already made the decision to extend his paternity leave for another couple of weeks. And with Angela and her sisters, they would have plenty of help around the house. Hopefully returning home would help to lift Lorelei’s spirits somewhat. Despite trying to hide it, he knew his wife was struggling. One of the nurses had mentioned that Lorelei was at risk of postpartum depression. She’d given Sean some information about what to look out for. She had even offered to connect him with a psychologist who specialised in postpartum mental health. Sean had read over the information and turned to the internet to find out more. He wanted to be prepared to support his wife if her baby blues turned in PPD. As strong and resilient as his wife was, even she had her limits.

Sean was finishing up with the hot cocoa, Diana came in to show him her drawing. It was a family portrait. “Mama will love it.” Sean told her, handing her a cup of hot cocoa. “Do you know what movie you want to watch?”

Sean and Diana were halfway through A Muppet Christmas Carol when Olivia came downstairs, followed closely by Molly and Daisy. Rubbing her eyes, she climbed onto the couch, sliding in between Sean and Diana, while Molly and Daisy curled up in front of the fireplace. Once the movie was finished, Sean decided the treat the girls with pizza for dinner. While they waited for the pizza to arrive, Sean put on another Christmas movie, The Grinch. He’d been concerned Olivia might find the character of the Grinch scary, but it turned out he was her favourite character in the movie.

When the pizza arrived, Sean had intended to pause the movie so they could eat but Diana convinced him to let them eat in front of the tv. That didn’t turn out to be the best idea as Olivia and Diana were too engrossed in the movie to eat. Sean had to resort to hand feeding the toddler to make sure she ate. Diana had to keep being reminded about the food in front of her. She’d take a couple of bites before being distracted by the movie. Despite feeling a little frustrated, it was good to see his daughters acting like children their own age.

Once the movie finished, Sean took the girls upstairs for their bath and to get them changed into their pyjamas. When they were dressed, it was back downstairs for another Christmas movie as well as some hot cocoa. The three of them settled on the couch with their hot cocoas to watch The Santa Clause.  It wasn’t until the movie had finished that Sean realised both Diana and Olivia had fallen asleep. After putting both girls in their beds, Sean settled in his own to call Lorelei.

“How’d your day go?” Lorelei asked him.

Sean smiled. “Shopping was hectic, but we spent the rest of the day watching Christmas movies.”

“Oooh, which ones?”

“The Muppets, The Grinch and The Santa Clause. The first one.”

“Good choices.” Lorelei commented.

“How was the rest of your day?”

“Uneventful. Pretty much just pumping, feeding the twins, and resting.” Lorelei answered. “And of course lots of cuddles.”

Sean nodded. “And how are you?”

Lorelei sighed. “I’m ok. Still tired and feeling a little weak. But I’m not feeling as dizzy as I was and it’s getting a little easier to concentrate.”

“Did you see any of your doctor’s today?”

“Yeah. Dr Brody stopped by this morning. She is pleased with my progress. And then Dr Pham, the cardiologist was in this afternoon. He said he wants to do another round of tests before discharging me, but I’m stable and the medications seem to be working.”

“Well, that’s good news.” Sean told her. “Sounds like you and the twins could be home this week.”

“Yeah.” Lorelei said although she didn’t sound certain.

Sean frowned. “Are you alright?”

Lorelei sighed. “Yeah. I want to go home, but…I don’t know. I guess I’m just a bit anxious. There are doctors and nurses here in case anything goes wrong. But at home, we’d have to wait for the paramedics to arrive.”

Sean could understand where she was coming from. “I understand your concerns. However, the doctors wouldn’t discharge you all if they had any concerns.”

“True.” Lorelei said faintly. She sighed again. “You guys still coming in tomorrow morning?”

Sean wanted to discuss her concerns more, but didn’t want to push her. “We are. Then I thought I would take them to OMSI. You mentioned they enjoyed it last time.”

Lorelei chuckled. “They had a blast last time. Diana’s been wanting to go back ever since. Make sure to take lots of snacks with you. Dragging them away from the exhibits to get them to eat lunch was basically impossible.”

Sean nodded. “Noted.”

Lorelei hadn’t been kidding when she said getting the girls to sit down and eat lunch would be impossible. Thankfully the snacks he brought providing enough sustenance to keep them going. Although Sean had wondered if he should have left the museum until after Olivia’s nap. He’d been hoping she’d sit in her stroller and fall asleep, however that hadn’t occurred. She didn’t even fall asleep in the car ride home. The lack of nap resulted in an overtired toddler who got crankier as the day progressed. Eventually, she fell asleep eating her afternoon snack. Sean had a feeling bedtime would be later today.

Diana had been in the bath when her little sister came stumbling into the bathroom like a little drunk person. Olivia had already managed to remove her pants and socks in preparation for joining her sister in the bath. Sean made quick work of the rest of her clothes and got her in the bath. The warm water seemed to wake Olivia up and before Sean knew it, she was acting as her usual self. After cleaning her up, Sean sat back and let them enjoy the water.

With bathtime over, Sean and the girls headed back downstairs. Adalind had sent him a message letting him know they’d be arriving back around 8pm. There was still another couple of hours to go, so they’d settled in the living room watching another movie. It was just finishing when Adalind arrived to collect Diana.

“How’d your weekend go?” Sean asked as Diana ran upstairs to get her bag.

An odd look crossed Adalind’s face as she paused for a moment. “It was certainly interesting.” She answered. Sean raised an eyebrow. “It’s a long story.”

Once Diana and Adalind had left, Sean turned to look at Olivia who was standing on the couch. “Are you ready for bed?” Sean asked her.

Olivia shook her head. “No. Play!” She replied before she started jumping up and down.

Sean sighed. This was going to be a long night.

After letting Olivia run around for a little while, he was able to herd her upstairs. Once they reached her bedroom, she’d grabbed a few books from her bookshelf and handed them to Sean. Olivia had proceeded to grab her stuffed wolf before leaving the room. “Where are you going?” Sean asked, placing the books under his arm so he could grab her bottle.

“Daddy room.” Olivia replied as she continued her journey.

Sean followed her. Once she reached his and Lorelei’s room, she threw her wolf on the bed and proceeded to try and climb up after it. Upon realising she couldn’t do it herself, Olivia turned to him for help. “Daddy, up.” She said patting the bed for good measure.

Sean placed the bottle and the books on the bedside table before placing his daughter on the bed. Olivia pointed to his own nightwear which were folded at the end of the bed. “Dressed Daddy.”

Sean smiled at her. “You want Daddy to change into his pyjamas?” Olivia nodded. “Ok. You wait right here.” He told her. Sean handed her one of the books before grabbing his pyjamas and stepping into the bathroom to get changed. When he stepped out again, he found Olivia jumping on the bed. “Ah, ah, ah. No jumping on the bed.” He said in a mock stern tone.

“Ok.” Olivia said, falling to her hands and knees. She crawled up to where the pillows were and tried to pull the covers back. “Daddy, help.”

“Are you sleeping with Daddy tonight?” Sean asked as he stepped forward to pull the covers back.

Olivia nodded. “Yes.”

Figuring if it would get her to go to sleep at a reasonable time, Sean wouldn’t argue. As Sean turned a couple of the lamps off, Olivia climbed under the covers. Sean joined her and she snuggled up beside him before handing him the book. In return, he handed her the bottle. He started reading to her as she worked her way through the bottle. By the time Olivia had finished her bottle, Sean was just starting the third book. As he turned back from placing the bottle on the bedside, Sean noticed that Olivia had finally fallen asleep. Deciding against moving her, Sean switched to his own book and settled back against the pillows to relax before he went to bed himself.

Next Part

Taglist: @zoexme, @nu1freakshow, @star-yawnznn, @bella250

Banner by @cafekitsune

[folklorelise]

Squad Leader Mom is pregnant!

MASTERLIST

Since all the baby incidents that had happened with you, Levi or the cadets, Levi and you had been thinking about having one of your own, but you never actually talked about it. Then one night, as you were reading before going to bed, Levi sat next to you on the couch ready to have that talk with you.

“Y/N.” Levi called your name seeing that you were not paying any attention to him.

“Hm?”

“I want to have–.” Levi started but then stopped.

“What’s wrong?” you asked worried, putting down your book.

“Remember when the kids were turned into children? We said that we would talk about having a kid. I want to talk about it now.” he told you staring at you. “If you want.” Levi quickly added.

“Oh right.” you said mumbled.

To be honest, since you joined the survey corps – having a baby never was an option for you. For Levi, having a child at all was never an option, but since he met you, he felt like anything could be possible.

“If you don’t want to, it’s fine too.” Levi said.

“I don’t know.” you admitted. “I loved having the cadets around. It was a lot of fun and I loved them as kids. But a new-born is different.” you paused. “I remember my neighbour; they had one and it was constantly crying and screaming. It looked exhausting. Also, what about my job here? I cannot– I… I can’t go on expeditions knowing that our child could become an orphan.”

“I would never let that happen.” Levi assured you, taking your hands. “I know our situation is not ideal, but can you imagine how great it would be to have a tiny version of us running around. I like that thought. That maybe one day, we could finally retire with our own little family.”

“It does sound nice.” you smiled fondly at Levi. “If that makes you happy, then ok.”

“Really? Because I don’t want to pressure you.”

“I’m sure. We’ll figure it out.”

The more you thought about it, the more you were sure about your decision. You had the possibility to give Levi another chance at having his own family and that was what made you certain of your choice. The next few months were spent in bed with Levi. It was intense – Levi was intense which resulted in making the both of you exhausted for trainings and expeditions.

Eight months into trying to get pregnant, yet there was still no baby in sight. Your doctor reassured you and said that getting pregnant is not an easy task.

You get easily sick during winter, so when a week before the expedition you started to feel nauseous, you just shrug it off. Which you instantly regretted the second you felt like passing out in front of a titan outside.

Eren from far away saw you falling from the sky and did not hesitate a second before transforming and running toward you. He caught you in time from hitting the ground and Mikasa from behind killed the titan that was ready to eat you.

“Mom?” Eren tried to wake you up once Mikasa got him out. “Mom, wake up please.” Eren cried.

Every squad were running toward where Eren transformed, not knowing why he did it. Levi and his squad were the first one who arrived.

“Eren!” Levi yelled at the boy but stopped when he saw you in his arms. A million questions were running through Levi’s mind. He could not move – he wanted to see if you were fine, yet his feet would not move toward you. What if he saw a wound, what if you were already dead?

“Captain,” Eren cried, “I– I saw her falling and I came. She’s not waking up!”

“What’s happening here?” Erwin finally arrived. “Levi wha–.” he asked the captain but stopped when he saw you. “Is she d–?”

“NO!” Eren yelled. “She can’t be, I– I caught her.”

“What happened then?” Erwin asked a member of you squad.

“We don’t know. We spotted a few titans, and we were all going to take care of them. Then – squad leader Y/N was just behind us!”

“She is still breathing.” Erwin checked your pulse. “Levi’s going to take her back, and the rest of us will continue the expedition. You can go too.” Erwin told the cadets.

Every other squads were leaving the scene. Erwin slowly approached Levi.

“She’s ok, you can go and take her back.”

“Ok.” Levi breathed.

Levi slowly approached where the cadets where and took you in his arms. Once you were back, Levi rushed you to the infirmary. The cadets were all patiently waiting outside the room. Every one of them was worried, but Eren was even more.

“What if it’s my fault?” Eren said.

“You saved her!” Mikasa protested.

“When I caught her, maybe I squeezed her without noticing?”

“She is fine.” Jean shouted.

Levi was sitting with them, silently. After just a few minutes of waiting, a doctor came out of the room. Everyone stood up hoping for good news.

“Y/N is doing great. She just needs to rest now.”

“Thank you!” Sasha shouted hugging the doctor.

“Is she waking up soon?” Jean asked.

“She should be up in a few hours top. But from now on she should stay here as the pregnancy is already three months in or something.” the doctor said before leaving for his office.

“The pregnancy?” Levi repeated confused.

“Mom’s pregnant?” Jean asked Levi.

“Mom’s pregnant!” they all shouted excited.

“We’re going to have a little brother or sister!” Connie burst excited.

While the cadets were shouting, Levi was still trying to process the news.

“D– Captain!” Jean quickly corrected himself. “Can we go in and see her?”

“She’s still sleeping, I’ll go and find you once she woke up.” Levi said entering the room alone.

Levi was sitting next to you, waiting patiently for you to wake up. An hour or two later, the cadets could not wait any longer and came into your room.

“Please, can we stay?” Sasha begged the captain.

“Fine, but shup your months.”

A few minutes after the kids came in, you finally woke up. Levi was the first to notice it. He quickly stood up and came near you.

“Y/N, are you feeling ok?” Levi asked.

“Water.” you grunted.

“I’ll get you a glass of water!” Armin volunteered.

After drinking the whole glass, you instantly felt better. You asked Levi what happened and when he explained to you that you fainted due to the pregnancy, you started to cry.

“Don’t cry. It is good right? We’re happy about this.” Levi asked.

“It’s happy tears.” You confirmed laughing slightly.

Levi then left to bring some food. The second Levi left, Eren came and hugged you. Then very quickly everyone else joined the hug.

“You scared us to death earlier.” Eren told you.

“I’m sorry I made you worried.”

When Erwin came back, Levi and you were waiting for him in his office.

“Y/N’s pregnant.” Levi announced it to the commander. “Obviously, she won’t be going to the next expeditions, right?”

“What? Congratulation!” Erwin shouted happily. “That’s really great news.”

“Erwin – the expeditions.”

“Right, of course. Y/N, you have to rest from now on.”

“But I can’t do nothing.” you protested. “I’ll get bored.”

“You’re pregnant.” Levi argued. “You just have to take care of you by staying here. Erwin agrees with me.”

“I–. Y/N if you want to go home and rest, you can.” Erwin agreed.

“I don’t. I’ll stay here and work with you on paperwork, I’ll do everything as usual except going on expedition.” you stated firmly.

Levi knew how stubborn you were, so he did not continue to argue. What mattered to him was that you were not going on expedition. After announcing the news to Erwin, Levi and you went to see Hange to tell them the news. The scream Hange uttered was so loud that Moblit came in running.

“What happened?” Moblit asked worried.

“Y/N is pregnant!” Hange shouted.

“Oh! Congratulation!” Moblit hugged you.

The next person to know about it was Mike, then soon enough the entire survey corps knew about it. After a few days, you decided it was time to go and tell your family about it. You proposed to Levi to come with you since he never met them.

“I’m busy.” Levi told you.

“It’ll just be a day.”

Your parents used to live inside of wall rose, but as your father’s business became more and more successful, they moved inside of wall Sina. You had a brother in the military too. You joined at the same time – he was a year older than you – he ended up being first and chose the military police brigade.

The next morning, you and Levi took a carriage to your home. Your parents made you and your brother promise to visit at least once a month, and you both decided to visit the first Sunday of every month – which was today. You knocked on the door and it was your mother who opened the door.

“It has been so long. Ah, and you must be Levi, right?” your mother welcomed you in.

“Yes.” Levi answered.

“Come in.”

“Your brother is not there yet.” your mom told you. “Do you want to drink something?”

“Tea please, black tea. For the both of us.” you told her.

“I feel uncomfortable here.” Levi whispered once your mother was gone.

“Let’s just tell them the news and then we can go.” you reassured him.

Your mother brought back the tea and she sat on the couch in front of where you were. Your father was nowhere to be seen – he was buying groceries at the market – and your brother was probably still sleeping.

“I heard a lot about you Levi.” you mother finally said.

“Levi’s very popular.” you answered seeing that Levi did not know what to say. “He is humanity’s strongest after all.”

“Good, then I know my daughter is safe beside you.”

“Y/N is strong, and she doesn’t need me to protect her.” Levi insisted, “But that does not mean I won’t do anything in my power to protect her of course.”

“That’s good to hear.” your mother smiled gently.

Just when you wanted to continue to talk, the front door opened, and your brother and father came in. You brother hugged you, then went to hug your mother.

“Captain Levi!” your brother burst out. “You have been going out with captain Levi this whole time?” he asked you.

“Yeah, don’t be jealous.”

“It’s an honour to meet you.” (Y/B/N) told the captain, ignoring you.

Levi quickly started to relax around your family, and you were all chatting together, talking about the military and what your day looked like. After a few hours of discussion, you still did not find the right moment to tell them about your pregnancy.

“When are you going to tell them?” Levi whispered to you.

“I don’t know how to, it feels weird.”

“Do you want me to tell them?”

“No, I’ll do it. I can do this.” you cleared your throat loudly to bring their attention to you and stood up. “I came with Levi today because we had something to tell you.”

“Yes?” your mother smiled.

“I am pregnant.” you announced with a big smile.

“Oh, my dear, that is wonderful!” your mother cried happily.

Your family congratulated the two of you and asked a ton of questions about when it happened, and what you planned to do once the baby arrived. After telling them that you were planning on staying at the survey corps after the baby came. You would probably be less involved, but you could not leave your second family. At night, after taking the extra food your mother had prepared, you left.

“Why aren’t you guys sleeping?” you said seeing the cadets at the entrance.

“We were waiting for you.” Armin said.

“Is that food for us?” Sasha asked excited.

“No.” Levi answered. “Y/N is tired, so leave.”

“I’m fine, I’ll take the food to the kitchen and we can eat this together tomorrow.” you told them. “You didn’t have to wait for me, you won’t be able to wake up tomorrow.” you warned them leaving with Levi.

—————

The first few weeks of the pregnancy were going well – you worked in the office with Levi mostly, but you would also help Hange with their paperwork. Being pregnant as a survey corps soldier meant being able to have extra food during meals, being able to skip cleaning duties. You could sleep in late in the morning and no one would say anything to you.

When your baby bump started to show and you could not fit into your pants anywhere, you would go around in either dresses or in Erwin’s pants that you cut so it would not be too long.

When you were seven months pregnant, Levi started to become more and more protective of you. He would not let you carry anything, not even your food tray. He forbad the cadets to come even near you knowing how reckless they were. Only Mikasa and Armin were allowed to come and help you. Which obviously upset the other cadets.

“But dad that’s so unfair! I want to help mom too!” Jean pleaded.

“Fine, Jean you can help.” Levi finally accepted only because Jean called him dad which was one of Levi’s weak spot.

“Me too then!” the others shouted which only made Levi walk away.

When you heard about it, you reassured them that it was ok for them to stay around you. Around that time, you also stopped wearing your shoes since you could not put them on, on your own. You walked around in your slippers all the time.  

Nine months into the pregnancy and Levi never let you out of his sight. He would rest in bed with you the whole time.

“What do you want to name our baby?” you asked him one night.

“I don’t know. I didn’t think about it much.”

“I was thinking about naming her after your mother if it was a girl.”

“What?” Levi asked.

“If you don’t want to it’s fine too!” you quickly shrug it off. “It’s just–.”

“I’d like that. It’s a great idea.” Levi cut you, “I just thought… I didn’t think you would like that name.”

“Of course, I do! What if it’s a boy?”

You both brainstormed all the ideas you had before falling asleep.

You were outside with Levi during his training sessions with the cadets with a book. They were all taking a break, so you decided to join them, but when you stood up you felt something weird between your legs.

“Captain! Mom just peed herself!” Eren yelled panicking.

“Her water broke you idiot!” Sasha yelled at Eren.

Levi was definitely panicking like Eren, but he would not show it. You took a carriage with Levi direction your doctor’s house. After a few hours of labour, the baby was still inside of you.

“I can’t do that anymore.” you breathed heavily. “Just take it out!” you yelled, taking Levi hand in yours.

“It’s here, just push one last time.”

You let out a last scream and pushed as hard as you could before you heard cries.

The doctor cleaned then wrapped the baby in a blanket before giving it to Levi.

“Hello.” Levi whispered to his child.

“Is it a girl?” you asked weakly.

“It is.” Levi said looking into your eyes lovingly.

“That’s good.” you smiled when you heard a knock on the door.

“Hello.” Erwin came in with Hange and the cadets behind him. “They insisted on coming with us.”

“We bought you some flowers.” Connie handed you the bouquet.

“My favourite, thank you so much.” you teared up.

“You idiot you made her cry.” Sasha hit Connie behind the head.

“Mikasa’s the one you picked the flowers.” Connie defended himself.

“I love the flowers you guys. I’m just very tired and extra emotional.”

“Do we have a baby brother or sister?” Armin asked.

“You have a sister now.” Levi answered. “This is Kuchel.”

“Can I hold her?” Erwin asked.

“Well,” you started, “you are the godfather, of course you can.”

“Me too.” Hange exclaimed.

“You, maybe later.” Levi stated. “In a year or two, so when you drop her, she would be fine.”

“It happened once when you taught us how to hold babies.” Hange mumbled.

They were all around the new-born while Levi was laying down next to you, your head resting on his shoulder.

“You have the best mother in the world Kuchel, you’re so lucky.” Armin whispered to the baby.

—————

One night, at the boys’ dorm, a few months after Kuchel was born–

“Do you think it’s weird for us to call squad leader Y/N ‘mom’?” Eren asked. “Now that she has her own, real kid, what does that make us?” Eren continued. “We’re just a bunch of cadets again to her.”

“Why are you always thinking so negatively?” Jean sighed.

“They’re not our parents.” Eren stated sadly.

“Can you stop being so pessimistic for a minute?” Armin shouted. “She is the closest mother figure I had since I was a child, so stop this. Plus, it’s not like ever corrects us when we do. So just stop, please.”

  You obviously noticed Eren’s attitude changing towards you – you tried to talk to him, but he kept avoiding you. You asked Armin and Mikasa about it and Armin just told you not to worry about it which was not possible.

One night, as Eren was taking a walk on the training grounds, you approached him silently.

“Are you ready to talk now?” you asked him. “And don’t even think about leaving before telling me.”

“I’m fine.” Eren said avoiding your gaze.

“Eren.”

“Squad leader Y/N.”

“Since when do you call me that?” you retorted.

“It is your name.”

“If there is something wrong, you can tell me. I’m always here if you want to talk.”

“You have a kid now; you can’t worry about me– about us.”

“What?” you asked confused. “Why not?”

“Because!” Eren yelled.

“Because what?” you kept your voice calm and low.

“Because you’re not my mother! And I’m not your kid. We’re just a bunch of soldiers.” Eren cried out. “You have a real kid now, there’s no need to play family anymore.”

“Is that what you think? Is that what you all think?” you asked but Eren did not answer, “Eren… I may not be your birth mother and I would never dare to replace yours, but you are family to me. You all are. Seeing you all calling me ‘mom’ is fine, if you see me as a mother figure – it’s fine. Because I see you all as my grown-up children.” you teared up. “And that’s not going to change with Kuchel around.”

“You haven’t been spending as much time with us as you used too.” Eren guessed hesitating.

“I haven’t been sleeping much to be honest. Kuchel is crying a lot at night. That does not mean I forgot about you. Or you guys.” you turned around finding the rest of the cadets hiding behind the pillars.

“We weren’t spying!” Jean said. “We just… happen to be there.”

“I’m sorry.” Eren apologise. “I’m a terr–.”

“You’re not. You’re amazing Eren.” you hugged him which resulted in all the other boys joining the hug.

From the window of Levi office, he could see you guys hugging.

“See Kuchel,” Levi pointed at you while holding his daughter, “They are weirdos.” he sighed. “Your mother loves them though. I find them tolerable. I guess you can see them as your older brothers and sisters. You’ll grow up with a big family which is great. I’m sure you’ll love them as much as your mother do.”

—————

RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY

Levi would talk to your baby bump when you were asleep.

You would be often seen with vegetables in your hand – always eating them as snacks.

You would cry for absolutely no reason too. The first time it happened, Levi was worried sick. You had dropped your apple on the ground and started to cry. From then on, Levi would just hold you tightly until you stopped crying.

The first time it happened in from of Erwin was when he offered you a new baby blanket. He thought you did not like it, but Levi quickly reassured him that it was fine. “I– I– I looove it!” you sobbed.

The first time it happened in front of the trio – Armin, Eren and Mikasa – it was because Armin kept talking about what he read about baby stuff.

“I will be the best brother ever!” Armin promised with a big smile. “No, why are you crying?”

“This is too much for my heart!” you sobbed. “You are too sweet Armin!” you hugged him.

“I’ll be a good big brother too!” Eren said hugging you.

Mikasa from behind pushed Eren and Armin aside before taking you in her arms.

“You both made her cry, I did not. Obviously, I’m the better sibling here.”

When it happened with Connie, Sasha, and Jean –

Sasha and Connie were walking in front of you and Jean.

“This Sunday is a day off; I’ll probably go and buy something at the market with Connie and Sasha.” Jean told you, “Do you need anything?”

You tried not to let tears fall but it was too adorable for you.

“Mom! Why are you crying? I’m sorry!” Jean panicked.

“What did you do you idiot!” Connie slapped Jean on his shoulder.

“Mom don’t cry, please. Dad’s going to kill me when he’s going to find out.” Jean realised.

At the same time, Levi walked in.

“What’s going on?” Levi asked.

“Nothing!” Jean said hiding your face on his chest.

“Y/N?” Levi said. “Are you ok?” to which you only responded with a thumb up. “Are you crying again?”

“I didn’t do it on purpose!” Jean hesitated, “I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine.” Levi said, “she’s been crying a lot these days due to the pregnancy.”

—————

RANDOM FACTS ABOUT KUCHEL

Kuchel first word is ‘clean’ – Levi is always talking about it when he is around her.

Kuchel favourite cadet would be Sasha. Sasha is only sharing her food with Kuchel and she loves food too.

Kuchel loves playing ‘to fly’ with uncle Erwin and uncle Mike – the giants of the survey corps.

You bought matching outfits for Levi, Kuchel and you which Levi secretly found adorable.

————— ————— 

————— ————— 

Squad Leader Mom gets badly injured

[subpar-ghoulfriend]

Let’s have a baby

yandere!EraserMicx PREGNANT!Reader 

A terrible mix up leading to an accidental pregnancy? Or something more intentional? Either way now you were pregnant with (none other than the beloved power couple heroes) Eraserhead and Present Mic’s child. Time to discuss how co parenting is going to work. 

TW: pregnancy, artificial insemination, yandere elements, mentions of stalking, alludes to potential custody battle

You had been avoiding the two men for the past week, which was challenging seeing as they managed to find your phone number, address, and place of work. Any time you blocked their calls they got a new number. Two Pro Heroes versus a twenty something civilian, it was only a matter of time until you were cornered.

Now the couple stood between you and your apartment. You had a long shift at your job as a pet groomer and just wanted to get some rest.

Present Mic was the first to speak. "Hey lil momma, we heard you had work today so we brought you some dinner. We thought we could talk over a nice meal."

You had no response. You were tired, both physically and emotionally. You had been put through the ringer ever since meeting them at your doctors office. It was a total Jane the Virgin situation. You went in for an assessment about some supposed ovarian cysts and unknowing left artificially inseminated. There was a supposed mix up, a digital glitch that somehow merged your chart with the surrogates - apparently your names were super similar. Two weeks later you were called back into the doctor's office and informed of what took place. And now you were in this living nightmare.

And the two heroes had nothing to do with the error. There was totally a surrogate. They hadn't paid off your provider. And why would they? You had never met them - although given their patrols they may have seen you once or twice...

They were tearful when they were informed of the mix up, they had been waiting patiently through the whole process and now everything was thrown in chaos. They offered to compensate you for your service which sent you into a blind rage. They just assumed you would carry a child, a child with half of your DNA, and then give YOUR baby away. Rationally you understood that they had planned to be be the only parents to the child, but that was with a professional surrogate who understood the process, who didn't want the child in their life, just happy to help out a loving couple. But that wasn't you, you grew up wanting to be a mom, and now they would take that from you.

What if they tried to legally take sole custody of the baby? Surely they had some pull in the judicial system. Besides, they were a solid couple with money, while you were alone with no family and working two jobs. The thought made you sick to your stomach.

You were shaking as you tried to push past them. Maybe they would just disappear if you ignored them, a girl could dream. But instead they tagged along inside. Albeit you weren’t fighting them on it, you knew this had to happen eventually.

Aizawa easily found the cluttered dining table in your small apartment. You flinched when the loud one tried to help you shrug off your backpack. Taking a seat on the couch you waited for them to start berating you.

"Come sit at the table, dinner is getting cold," Eraser spoke for the first time.

"I'll eat later, I'm not hungry."

"You may not be, but the baby needs to eat."

You glared, how dare they insinuate you didn't know what your child needed. If your body was hungry, you ate. If you were full the baby was full too.

But, you complied, not wanting to argue, "Fine, but I ate a snack not too long ago."

As you ate, Mic kept you company, picking at some left overs, they clearly ate before their visit. Aizawa was rummaging through your place but you managed to hold your tongue until he began throwing things out of your fridge.

"What are you doing?" You hissed, getting up out of your seat.

"Mic and I will bring you groceries tomorrow. The food you have is barely safe for an adult, let alone a fetus."

"Are you kidding me? It's not like I'm chugging alcohol and living off Twinkies. Hey! I just bought those turkey slices. How is turkey bad?" You whined.

To make sure you wouldn't dig the food out trash he dumped it out of his container.

"Zashi, don't let me forget to empty the trash on our way out. Do you know how much salt is in deli meat? And there's no way you can drink any of this while you're pregnant." He gestures to the cans of soda.

As the frustration built you had to fight back tears. They couldn't come in to your home and start throwing out your things.

"Some of us don't make ridiculous money, I'm buying what I can afford and the doctor never had any problem with my health." You hissed.

Hizashi felt the tension thickening, "Hey hey hey, it's okay. Sho and I will go get you some good stuff. We just gotta watch out for you and baby."

And that was the end of your resolve, you stomped past the Hero and locked yourself in your bedroom. Finally tears began to drip down your cheeks.

Back in your kitchen Mic was chiding his boyfriend for being so tough on you.

"So I should just back down while she stuffs herself with junk food?"

Mic gave him a shrug, showing him a bottle on your counter, "At lest she's taking her prenatal vitamins?"

Grabbing the keys to your apartment Aizawa instructed Mic to wait with you while he got you better groceries. He would make copies of your keys on his was back.

You prayed they would leave soon. You were laying in your bed having cried yourself out. Barely into your second month of pregnancy. You still had to endure this for at least seven more months, but most likely much longer.

Next thing you knew you were opening your eyes and the clock read seven AM. By now your uninvited guests must be gone. Nervously you sat up, praying that you'd skip the morning sickness just once this week. You had always had a weak stomach and even the doctor was surprised you were already experiencing the symptom. Unfortunately the minute your feet touched the floor you knew what was coming. You sprinted to the restroom, not even checking to see if the duo had left.

God this was terrible, you didn't just hate throwing up, you were terrified of it. What if you started and never stopped? But it did come to an end. You wiped the water from your eyes and took a moment before standing from the floor. You screamed when a hand slid under your arm, helping you up. Another set of feet rushed to the bathroom.

" What's wrong?" Hizashi huffed as he skid to a stop.

You pulled arm free from Aizawa's grasp. "What are you two still doing here?"

You turned in the faucet to rinse your mouth. Trying to calm your stress, the nausea was trying to return.

Undeterred the scruff pulled your hair into a bun before rubbing your back. You debated returning to bed but that wouldn't get them out of your apartment. You told them you need to sit down, both of them nodding, still wearing their concerned expressions. They got you a glass of water before joining you on the couch. Stubborn men, you sat at the end of the couch so they couldn't both sit, but Mic decided to perch himself on the armrest.

He started petting your hair, "You feelin better little listener?" You nodded in response.

"I got you more food, let us know if your hungry."

You sighed in defeat, "I'm barely two months pregnant, I can fend for myself. What did you all want to talk about?"

You anxiously placed a hand on your stomach. Both men felt their hearts flutter recognizing your maternal instincts kicking in.

Aizawa let Mic begin, he was the more gentle of the two.

"Well, we figured we got off to a rough start. You got put in a tough situation. We shouldn't have assumed you didn't want a child so we're not mad at how you stormed out. But either way we expect to be in our baby's life. The two of us talked it over and we don't want to fight you if you want to be in their life too. So if you wanna be the mommy we're cool with it."

You could blame your reaction on your hormones for your response but you didn't, "Geez thank you so much for allowing me to be in MY child's life."

Aizawa placed a hand on the back of your neck, giving you a gentle massage. "Okay then, the three of us are gonna have a baby. That means you have to stop ignoring us. We can raise the baby together, without involving anyone else. But if we have to, we can always go the legal route for the baby's best interest." 

He knew it was a low blow, but the couple needed you to stop fighting them. Your eyes snapped to his and you shook your head in protest.

"Okay then we're all the same page," Aizawa reassured you.

Mic cheered, "Now we can focus on the fun stuff."

"Hun," Eraserhead caught his attention. "There's still a few more important things to figure out. We don't want you going back to that doctor. They're incompetent. We scheduled you an appointment with another's clinic for next week. Okay?"

You couldn't find your voice after how easily he threatened to take your baby. So you just nodded. Half listening.

"Good. We also went ahead and programmed our numbers into your phone. We need to be able to check in with you."

"Okay, but I can't use my phone at one of my jobs."

"About that lil momma," Mic started. "You work a lot, which is totally bad ass, but we don't think you leave enough time to rest and take care of yourself."

You tried to protest but Aizawa cut you off, "You also shouldn't be working around so many animals. Even though we love animals, they can be unpredictable and one dog can trigger all the rest into a frenzy."

You were dumbfounded, "I've never heard of anything like that happening. One of my coworkers was pregnant last year, she worked until her maternity leave. Plus I need to be able to pay my bills. And don't offer to compensate me again."

"Why do you have to view it as compensation? We just want to take care of the mother of our child. Just think about it. Mic and I have to go take care of some business but we'll be back later this week."

---

Back at their home Hizashi was dramatically splayed on their bed.

"Babe why are you pouting?" Aizawa asked.

"Why can't we just bring her home already?"

Aizawa sympathized with his better half, but they needed to be methodical. He reminded Hizashi that they didn't need to cause her even more stress, especially so early into the pregnancy. If they played their cards right they would have their happy little family soon enough.

If they could ease you in to the relationship everything would be easier in the long run. They had been managing just fine until now, they could wait a few more months.

He joined Hizashi on the couch. Mic was comforting himself the way he usually did when he felt like this. He was scrolling through the countless photos they had collected since their chance encounter with you over a year ago. 

[nxrthmizu]

Second Place ; Miya Osamu.

fandom | haikyuu!!

pairing | miya osamu x fem!reader

w.c | 2.2k

genre | fluff

warning(s) | slightly suggestive, implied sexual content

author's note | i've been wanting to write this for a while! so here it is <3 it's not beta read and I didn't use a lot of metaphorical filling so it's not that poetic but eh Idc bc ✨ self indulgence ✨

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Once upon a time, Miya Osamu swore that he would never settle for second place again— He was never going to let another Miya score first place while he stood in the shadows. The twins had split paths after graduation, stepping onto stages where they'd never have to compete against each other for the spotlight again.

... Okay, who was he kidding. He'd be compared to Atsumu for his whole life— It wasn't like a different career would change that. Besides, his aunts were way too bored to not spin up something about him and his brother during family gatherings.

"Atsumu's making more money, isn't he?"

Well duh, he was a professional volleyball player, of course he made more money— Osamu wanted to roll his eyes in front of his aunts to make sure they understood that he heard their hushed whispers— But then again, he was an adult now, and he knew better than to stoop that low.

The comforting grip you had on his wrist also helped.

Things did get slightly better for him, though.

"Atsumu, your brother's already married," Osamu overheard his second aunt say to his twin during his wedding reception, "When are you going to settle down?"

The grey-haired Miya couldn't help but have a grin on his face for the entire night. Granted, the fact there was a silver ring on your finger also helped. You were absolutely radiant that night, and Osamu couldn't have been happier to finally be able to introduce you as his spouse.

Osamu's marriage did tilt more pressure towards his twin's way, because not more than half a year later, Atsumu caved in and found a sweet little thing to share his life with. The setter had had a couple flings here and there in his earlier years— But none of them ever lasted that long, and Atsumu had never introduced them to his brother, which is how Osamu knew that his twin really cared about the girl when the golden-haired man visited Onigiri Miya with her hanging on his arms.

If he didn't have the decency to help his brother maintain a good image, Osamu would've straight-up snorted at how tense his twin was when he served onigiri up onto their table, the shop empty with the exception of one table. It was almost like Atsumu was seeking Osamu's approval— Which was hilarious enough without the fact that the setter was nervous about it.

At the end of the night, it was as if the weight of the world was lifted off Atsumu's shoulders. Kaoru— The name of Osamu's potential sister-in-law— Got along wonderfully with you, who kept the shy-but-bright woman entertained as Osamu dragged his twin into the kitchen to make fun of him.

"Oh, go easy on him," You elbowed him lightly as the two of you closed up the shop for the night, wiping down the tables and tucking the chairs in. "Atsumu genuinely cares about her, he's making an effort!"

Osamu let out the snort he had held in for most of the evening. "I wouldn't be his brother if I didn't make fun of him."

"Boys." You muttered, just loud enough for him to hear. You had been around to catch the tail-end of some of Atsumu's previous relationships, so you could tell that Kaoru was different; In a way, Atsumu looked at her the same way Osamu eyed a nice piece of mackerel in the grocery shop.

"I heard that! C'mere," Osamu grinned, tackling you from the back. A smile burst across his lips when a giggle erupted from your lips, a cloth rag smacking him in the face when you tried to wriggle away from his hold. "You aren't getting away, pumpkin. Save your energy for later."

He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, yelping when he was smacked with the rag again.

"There won't be a later if you keep that up." You warned, laughing when horror instantly swept over his expression. His protests echoed in your ears as you thought about how this marriage was something you'd never regret. Yes, it was rough because his business took off on a rocky road, but you knew there was no gain without pain, so you hung on and saw him through to the fruits of his labour.

──────── ⋆⋅❉⋅⋆ ────────

The next family meeting was graced with the presence of Kaoru, who, in turn, had been graced with your advice.

"Dress decently, do not wear black," You had warned her the night before on the phone, grimacing at the memory of your first Miya family dinner. No one had aunts more judgemental than the Miya twins. "I would suggest going with a dress. Oh, and it might help to bring a gift. A bottle of Ginseng Wine might be a good idea."

"We're here," Osamu parked the car outside the family home, subconsciously wincing at the sight of his aunts' vehicles. "... Ah. They’re here."

"I see they turned up early," You grimaced, "Atsumu and Kaoru-chan are going to have a brilliant night."

"Yup." Your husband grinned slightly at that, earning a smack for smiling at his brother's suffering. "Oh, he'll be fine. We'll mention that when Atsumu really needs saving." The wink he sent your way made your stomach butterflies flutter, but the warm touch of his fingers on your hand made them settle. "We'll be fine," Osamu's eyes softened as he met yours, reassuring you. "You've got me, remember? Worst case scenario, we'll just high-tail out of there and say we need to work tomorrow."

"Right," You released a breath of relief, interlocking your fingers with his. "Ready?"

"To see Atsumu suffer?" Osamu quipped. "Hell yeah."

And suffer did Atsumu. Kaoru wasn’t spared (of course she wasn’t—) and was judged from head-to-toe by the Miya's critical aunts. From the way they were eyeing her, you'd think they were the judges of Miss Universe instead of potential aunt-in-laws. Despite that, Kaoru braved the storm and stood strong through the whole night, her resilience shining with her determination to be with the other Miya twin— Osamu nodded his approval at that.

After dinner, the family gathered in the living room, with the elderly seated on the cushioned couches while the twins were squashed together on a bean bag (that you had to convince them to share, because apparently they were adamant about pushing the other off of it). Kaoru and you managed to snag a small corner of a couch, stifling your laughter at the sour faces of your respective significant others.

"So, Kaoru-san," Four heads collectively flinched when the aunt opened her mouth, "What's your job? Yearly salary?"

"Um, I'm... I'm a newspaper editor," Kaoru fidgeted with the strap of her bag while you resisted the urge to snap at her to look as confident as she could if she didn't want the interrogation to go on for the rest of the night. A shy, nervous thing like her would only make the predator's lick their lips at the sight of easy prey.

"Oh! That makes sense," The woman sneered, Osamu's mother not-so-discreetly turning up the volume of the television in hopes that the conversation would be drowned out. "You definitely dress with the salary of an editor."

Offence flashed across Atsumu's face like lightning, but before he could start a fight to defend his girlfriend's honour, Osamu dragged his brother back onto the bean bag and stood up.

"Excuse me, everyone," Osamu put on his practiced customer-service smile flawlessly, capturing everyone's attention instantly. "Y/N and I have an announcement to make." His eyes met yours, and you nodded, a smile waltzing across your lips.

"Mother, father," You begin, addressing your in-laws like you addressed your own parents. Encouragement swirled in your blood as Osamu interlocked your hands and squeezed your fingers. "You're going to be grandparents."

It took a while for the news to kick in.

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Osamu's mother cried out, rushing to envelop you in a hug that you gracefully accepted. "Do you know the gender yet?"

"Of course not, mother." Osamu rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "We're not that far along yet."

"That's amazing! Congratulations!" Kaoru beamed brightly, not having picked up on Osamu's timely intervention.

"Thank you." You replied warmly.

"Well then, are you going to stop working?" The first aunt shot at you, smirking, coy as ever. She knew that you weren't the type to drop your job just because of an incoming child.

"Of course not." You replied easily, "What kind of spouse would I be if I couldn't help carry the financial burdens with my husband?"

She shut her trap instantly, huffing in fury. Osamu had never looked prouder.

The family rejoiced for a little longer, and from the tip of your ears, you heard Osamu gloating slightly about having reached another milestone earlier than his brother.

"I love you," Your husband murmured into the crook of your neck as the two of you cuddled in the warmth of your bed, too far for his aunts' sharp words to hurt you. "And our little boy in there.”

“How do you know it’s a boy?”

“... Father’s instinct.”

Months flew by in a blur, and so did doctor appointments, Sunday shopping trips with Kaoru as you left Atsumu to help Osamu in the restaurant. The pair would drive the half-an-hour trip from Osaka to Hyogo every weekend. This arrangement elicited a couple silly arguments between the twins, of course, but once you taught Kaoru the stern look that would make the two settle like guilty puppies with their tails between their legs— Those arguments became simple matters to handle.

“Have you thought of names yet?” Kaoru asked you while the two of you sipped on coffee.

“I have a couple in mind,” You smiled. “Osamu won’t stop going on about how he was right. The baby’s a boy.”

“Boys will be boys,” Kaoru rolled her eyes. Then, her expression changed to a wistful one. “This might sound odd, but… I just find myself thinking, sometimes… One day, I want what you and Osamu have.”

“... A happy marriage?” You raised an eyebrow, “Honey, you’re already on your way to one. Atsumu looks at you the same way ‘Samu looks at a bowl of gyudon. Or the way I look at a bucket of mint ice cream with peanut butter…”

Kaoru made a concerned look. “The baby sure craves some odd things.”

“You’ll experience this one day.” You returned pointedly. “Logically, I never would’ve thought of eating mint chocolate ice cream with peanut butter slathered on… But cravings are cravings. And it was surprisingly nice.”

──────── ⋆⋅❉⋅⋆ ────────

After nine long months of waiting, Miya Tomohito was welcomed to the world. Osamu cried (Atsumu made fun of him for it before getting smacked by Kaoru— She was learning a lot from you). Both yours and Osamu’s parents wouldn’t stop gawking at your baby boy, with his little tuff of dark hair, his tightly-fisted hands and the slight cherry-red flush of his cheeks. You never thought you’d fall in love at first sight— But your son was living proof that you were wrong. From the first moment you held him in your arms, you had already given a piece of your heart for him to hold in his tiny little hands.

It quickly became a regular sight for frequent customers of Onigiri Miya to see Osamu walking around the shop, a sleeping baby boy strapped to his back. The two were inseparable. Once, you walked in on your husband having a full conversation with Tomohito, who was sucking on a spoon.

“I’m thinking of adding a twist to my tuna onigiri recipe,” Osamu said, as if he were talking to an adult and not a three-month old baby. “Do you think adding a squeeze of lemon juice will make it taste better?”

“Gwa.” Tomohito replied intelligently.

“Great suggestion, Tomo.”

“Mmm.”

“I see. We could go to the grocery store later to get some tuna and try that recipe tonight.”

“Ba.”

“You’re a genius, Tomo.”

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“I can’t believe you.” Osamu looked helpless. “You’re not… You’re not seriously doing this to me.”

“I’m completely serious.” You said firmly, having put your foot down with no room for argument.

“You’re really choosing him over me?” Your husband’s jaw dropped when you nodded solemnly. “I’m your husband!”

“And he’s my son.” You shot back instantly.

“You’re kicking me out of our bed for our son?”

“He’s sick!” You refuted. “I need him to be as close as possible to me. His fever hasn’t gone down completely yet and I can’t let him go back into his cot tonight. Besides, you might get sick if we all sleep in the same bed. Who’ll take care of the shop then?”

Osamu drooped visibly. He couldn’t believe what was happening— He had lost to a Miya once again— Now his son instead of his brother. “Fine.” He mumbled sadly. “Make your poor husband sleep on the couch.”

“It’s only for one night, ‘Samu.”

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Tomohito's name is written as 智仁. '智' means intelligence and '仁' means compassionate. I have a friend named Tomohito.

Also, when I was writing this I reminded myself to make sure I made the reader gender-neutral. That is, until I realised that I made the reader pregnant. I am an idiot.

haikyuu!! gen taglist: @haru-senji @hikari-writes @whootwhoot @folkloeren @definitely-yours @rirk-ke @animegirlweeb @cemeiia @haikyuushuffle

[dovechim]

blessed be the fruit 01 (m)

➾ 3.6k, taehyung x reader, future OT7

➾ loosely based off The Handmaid’s Tale. In the New World Order that is Gilead, your life depends on your ability to bring a new one into existence. 

➾ warnings: unprotected sex, mentions of infertility, pregnancy, mentions of dubcon

➾ a/n: I had serious hesitation and doubts about this. but after a three month break and looking at it from a distance, I still want to go ahead with this AU because I want to draw attention to the themes of reclaiming agency & identity whilst under oppression. So I hope that you could get the message I’m trying to convey rather than focus on the noncon indubitably present in this AU. 

I'm saying this to clearly outline my intentions, for I do not condone rape or non-consensual sex whatsoever. 

that being said, I have plans to turn this into an ot7 series fic, but here is a little starter just to kind of test the waters a little :-) if you’re here, I've already warned you about what you’re signing up for, so please skip this if uncomfortable and refrain from sharing any malicious thoughts with me.

Crimson is the colour that denotes life. But these days, only the rare few have the privilege to don that colour; the deep red hue of the cloak that is meant to simultaneously draw attention to, and also hide your figure.

Handmaids are to be seen and not heard. They are to speak only when spoken to. The white wings that adorn either side of your head keep your gaze lowered reverently at all times. Meek and subdued, but always watching, waiting.

The supermarket is quiet and orderly as you stroll through the aisles with your partner close by your side. You have never seen more than a glimpse of her face, neither have you heard more than a few words of her voice other than the greetings you exchange when you meet every morning.

Even the task of grocery shopping, which you used to enjoy before the rise of Gilead, has become nothing but a sham. There is no decision to be made. Your purchases are entirely dependent on the coupons given to you by the Wife of your Household. Today, it’s the usual rice and vegetables, with one or two oranges thrown in as a request from the Cook.

“Under His Eye,” you murmur as you pass the other Handmaids and their partners, all doing their shopping with their partners.

You can’t see it with your head lowered, but there are armed guards stationed throughout the grocery store with guns cocked and menacing stares. The Eyes are always watching and listening, and you begin to feel suffocated.

“I believe I have everything I need,” you speak in a lowered voice, turning slightly to your partner, thinking of how to best hurry her along without making it too obvious. “Is there anything else you lack?”

“I too, am done, OfJeon,” your partner replies back, and you have to physically stop yourself from flinching.

Even though it is the proper way to address another Handmaid, you avoid using the names bestowed upon you by their Household’s Commanders. You try your best to not associate yourself with that name, for fear that you might come to forget your own in due time, but it gets more and more difficult as the days go by.

‘Of’ denoting possession, and ‘Jeon’ for your Commander’s last name. Put together, they form your identity, the identity that Gilead has carved out for you as an object.

The moment you forget your real name is the moment you lose yourself.

“Let us depart, OfPark,” you say with tightly clenched lips, grateful for the white wings that hide your bitter expression as you turn toward the exit of the grocery store.

Your basket is heavy with groceries, and the wind whips up your red cloak the moment you step outside. You glance up for a moment to see the gray skies, feel the wind on your cheeks before you dip your head down again, cautious of exposing your face for more than a second.

Here, to blend in is to survive.

“Have you made all the necessary preparation, OfJeon?” Your partner asks as she links her arm through yours, and you begin the slow march home.

You drag your feet slightly, hoping to prolong the walk. Aside from the brief half hour of grocery shopping every day, you hardly get a chance to be outside. To remember what the real world feels like, even though it is changing so quickly every day. You’re too busy trying to memorise the way the wind feels against your cloak that you are caught slightly offguard by OfPark’s question.

“Preparation?” Your voice comes out slightly unsure.

“For the Ceremony, of course,” comes her reply, and you can’t stop yourself from inhaling sharply.

Is it already that time of the month? How could you have lost track?

A lump forms in your throat as you attempt to calm yourself. “Yes, OfPark. Everything is ready.”

You are lying through your teeth, but the thing is, interactions are kept to such a bare minimum that no one knows you well enough to know that you are lying. If today is the day of the Ceremony, it means a visit to the doctor’s this afternoon. Your breath speeds up at the thought of it, palms becoming sweaty.

OfPark comes to a stop outside of your house, and unlinks her arm from yours.

“Blessed be the fruit,” she says by way of farewell.

“May the Lord open,” the automatic response falls from your lips without much thinking.

Then the gates open, and you enter the house quietly, setting your basket on the kitchen counter. You can hear footsteps coming from the main hallway as soon as you take your white bonnet off.

“You’re back, I was just about to send a guard to fetch you.” In her royal blue dress that tapers at her waist and falls nearly to her ankles, the Wife of the Household is always neatly pressed and well put together. Kim Yeri fixes you with an annoyed glare as she brushes her silky blonde hair behind her ear. You haven’t known her by that name in a long while, because like any other woman, she is only to be addressed by her title in society.

“Did you forget your appointment?” She demands, crossing her arms. She has never been outrightly mean to you, yet her manner is far from friendly. But its totally understandable, of course. Which woman would be content knowing her husband was required by law to fuck a baby into someone else?

“No, Madam. The line at the supermarket was-“

“Get in the car. We’re already late.” Yeri is not interested in your excuse as she cuts you off, turning to grab her purse, and her dress flows gracefully behind her slim figure as she walks to the door.

You barely have time to put your bonnet back on, fixing it so that it is presentable once more before following her outside. Yeri is already in the back seat of the black SUV car, and you climb in beside her. You catch a glimpse of Driver Jung’s eyes in the mirror, but quickly glance away before Yeri can catch you.

Drivers aren’t allowed to have Handmaids of their own. Instead, they live to serve the Household of their Commanders. As the car pulls smoothly out of the front gate, you begin to wonder who Driver Jung was before Gilead. If he had loved ones that he lost. If he too, was slowly starting to forget the person he was back then.

The blacked-out windows of the car don’t allow you to see anything outside. It is a tense journey made in complete silence as you can feel Yeri’s annoyance slowly mounting into a barely withheld fury. It is the same every month. You try to sympathise with her, to put yourself in her shoes as someone who has to accompany the woman her beloved husband is to have sex with to a fertility check-up.

When the car stops, Driver Jung rushes out of his seat to open the door for Yeri first, then he crosses to your side and opens your door. You thank him with a shy nod, careful to keep your eyes fixed on the ground as you follow Yeri into the clinic.

The waiting room has about one or two other Wife-Handmaid pairs.  As you walk in, you catch the eye of one of the Handmaids who is heavily pregnant. Her swollen belly protrudes from her red cloak, and her hands look so small in comparison as she strokes her bump reverently. The Wife sits beside her, a look of pride on her face as if she were the one pregnant.

It is such a rare sight to see a pregnant Handmaid these days. Even though the Handmaids were specially selected because of their fertility, your lack of a baby bump is bearing down on you. Each Handmaid is given three chances at each assignment. Three chances to conceive before they are moved to the next Commander. Three assignments in total before she is sent to the Wastelands.

Lining the walls are portraits of Commanders dressed in black, and their Wives dressed in blue, holding little bundles wrapped in white. The couples are all smiling with joy and pride in their eyes.

The Handmaids are nowhere to be seen in the happy families of three.

You don’t know if you should envy or pity the heavily pregnant Handmaid.

Thankfully, due to Yeri’s- or should you say your Commander’s- high status, you are bumped to the front of the line. The receptionist tells you to enter the doctor’s room, but Yeri waves you on with disinterest.

“I can wait outside here, can’t I? She won’t dare try anything,” she says this last part with cold frown, settling herself down on one of the waiting chairs.

“Of course, Mrs Jeon,” the receptionist says with a pleasant smile, then turns to show you into the doctor’s office.

You read the name on the door before you are shuffled into the white, sterile room.

Dr Kim Taehyung.

Two female assistants help you to take off your red cloak and dress you in the standard white gown. You sit on the chair, legs spread wide into the stirrups. The assistants lower a privacy curtain that conceals your face, leaving your lower half anonymous as you hear the door open, then the doctor’s footsteps.

You don’t even get to see his face before you feel his touch on your knees. Dr Kim Taehyung clears his throat before he moves to the side, dipping his gloved hands into a small dish of what you can only assume to be lubrication. The white privacy curtain is nothing but a thin sheet, so you can still make out his figure as he bustles about. You can even see the slope of his nose as he turns his side profile to you for a second.

It’s not until he speaks that you are jolted out of your thoughts by how deep his voice is. “How are you today?”

“I’m good,” you answer hesitantly, unconsciously crinkling your medical gown in your fist. No one has ever asked how you’re doing.

“That’s great, now let’s have a look, shall we?” You can hear the smile in his voice, and you feel your body relax a little.

He seems to be kind enough, this Dr Kim Taehyung. Much different from the doctor you had on your first visit. Dr Kim Taehyung has his bedside manner down pat, and even though you can’t see his face, he makes you feel a little bit less tense. His voice soothes you as he talks, saying random things about the weather as he spreads your legs.

Dr Kim Taehyung positions himself in between your thighs, and you feel his gloved hands dangerously close to the apex of them. “So, it says here on your chart that tonight is Ceremony night for you.”

“Yes,” you swallow hard at the reminder. “It is.”

“And how are the Jeons treating you? Everything okay at home?” You can feel him spread your lips with his fingers, starting to poke and prod around as you close your eyes.

“Yes. They treat me very well,” you answer.

He must have caught the monotony of your voice, because his fingers pause.

“You know, you can talk to me. If there’s anything you need.” His concerned voice is like a beacon of light, but your eyes dart around the room cautiously.

You think about the millions of things that you could tell him. How unfair it is to be reduced to a walking womb, and yet, how desperate you are, knowing that this is your third month at the Jeon’s household, and if it doesn’t work…

You swallow all of these thoughts with your fists clenched. You can never let your guard down. He might be one of the Eyes, pretending to be kind so that you might let slip a blasphemous comment about your Commander. There’s no way you’ll incriminate yourself like that, so you just keep your mouth shut. After a while, he goes back to examining you.

“… Alright then,” Dr Kim Taehyung says in a resigned tone. “Let me just check you over and make sure everything is good for tonight. This might feel a little uncomfortable, but just relax for me alright?”

You can’t help but tense up, ironically, at his instruction. But then you feel the warmth of one of his ungloved hands on your thigh, and as he bids you to relax again, he slides his fingers into you, and you can feel his fingers, thick and solid. Your thighs twitch, coming into contact with his hips that are in between them, and he lets out a gentle laugh.

“It’s okay… just a little more.”

Then, he withdraws his fingers slowly, and you let out a breath of relief. It didn’t feel bad, definitely not like the first visit where you felt violated. Dr Kim Taehyung’s gentle and respectful manner is… almost pleasant. You’ve long forgotten what it’s like to be treated like a human being, and not just an object.

“Looks like everything’s in shape, you’re due to ovulate these few days,” he declares, taking off his rubber gloves and tossing them in the bin. “Not that it matters, anyway. Jeon’s probably sterile. Hell, all of the Commanders are sterile.”

You freeze at the sound of that blasphemous curse word. But more importantly, you have to make sure you heard correctly.

“Wh-what do you mean?” You watch his shadow behind the sheet as he ticks a few things on your chart.

In this society, ‘sterile’ is a forbidden word. There is no such thing as a sterile man. There are only women who are fruitful, and women who are barren. But you know better than to subscribe to such damning ideology.

“Darling. I’ve seen so many top Commanders’ Handmaids in this room. In and out, month after month they come back and their Wives ask me why they aren’t pregnant yet.” He places a hand on your knee again, and that human contact makes you realise how much you crave the warmth of another person.

At the same time, his words awaken the hollow desperation in your chest. If… if Jeon is really sterile, that means no matter how many times you try, you won’t get pregnant. If all the Commanders are really sterile, then no matter how many assignments you get…

“It’s your third month here, isn’t it?” His kind voice accompanies the gentle stroke of his thumb on your knee.

Before you can answer, he steps away from you, walking to the door and double checking that it’s locked. Then, he’s between your legs again, and this time, his ungloved hands are caressing the top of your thighs. You can feel his hips pressing against you insistently.

“I can help you,” he says in a low whisper. “It’s your last chance.”

Your mind is in a fog. It’s hard to think clearly when you are craving his touch on your body, and the way in which he wraps your legs around his waist so delicately has you wanting to give in. Let this be a form of rebellion. An act of reclaiming your body and your agency, giving it to a man who treats you like a human being, and more importantly, deciding who you give it to. So that when Jeon performs the Ceremony with you tonight, no one but you will have the secret pleasure of knowing that someone else was here before him.

And if you do get pregnant, you will have the last laugh as you watch Jeon raise a baby that isn’t even his to begin with.

How’s that for rebelling? It’s no longer just about getting pregnant.

“I’ve helped many other Handmaids before,” Dr Kim Taehyung continues furtively. “They were all on their third Assignments. I saved them from the Wastelands.”

You don’t need any more convincing. You reach out and pull the thin privacy sheet aside, finally revealing Dr Kim Taehyung’s face. He looks taken aback at your bold actions.

“Do it, Doctor,” you fix your eyes on him with determination. “Get me pregnant.”

Dr Kim Taehyung looks as if he wasn’t expecting you to say yes to him, and delight slowly spreads across his face. But he can’t help himself from bringing one of his hands to your face, brushing your cheek and admiring your silent, resilient beauty.

“U-um, okay. He-here goes,” he fumbles with his dress pants, and the confidence from minutes ago is nowhere to be found. It occurs to you that he might have been fibbing about helping the other Handmaids before you, but it doesn’t matter. It’s no longer just about getting pregnant, anyway.

Thanks to the lubrication, he slides in easily. You catch a glimpse of him before he does, and a second later you feel his girth acutely. During the Ceremony, the lights are always turned off, so you never have a chance to see what Jeon’s dick looks like. If you were to compare, it feels around the same as Dr Kim’s. Except this time, you are doing this of your own accord.

The squeaking of the chair against the floor is deafeningly loud as he begins to thrust earnestly, and the thrill that you could be caught at any moment makes you feel more alive than you’ve ever been since the rise of Gilead. You can feel him at your cervix as he grips your thighs, and you make sure to wrap them around him tightly.

In an unprecedented move, Dr Kim reaches down to brush his thumb against your clit, and your walls clench around him in response. He swears under his breath as he shifts his position to rest his elbows on either side of you so that he can increase the strength behind his thrusts.

“Sh-shit, you feel so good,” he groans as he sneaks his hand in between your bodies once more to pinch your clit. No one has cared about your pleasure like this in a long while, and you feel your body responding to his ministrations, your orgasm rapidly approaching.

“Ha-harder, Doctor,” you feel his cheek press against your breast. “Cum inside me.”

You swear you can feel him twitch inside you, as he bites his lip hard. You have a hard time holding back your derisive laughter as Dr Kim Taehyung gets more turned on than ever. So this is his kink? This is the perfect job for him. Seeing Handmaids who are more often than not desperate to get pregnant, no matter by whom.

You feel a modicum of power back in the palm of your hand, which is more than you’ve felt in ages. The feeling of having power over someone else as you watch the pleasure take over Dr Kim Taehyung’s expression is addictive. The man is losing himself in between your legs, his fingers digging into the flesh of your thigh. Meanwhile you are the one watching him rut pathetically, straining to reach his end.

“Cum inside me, Doctor,” you say again, squeezing your walls around him and relishing his groan. “I’ll make you cum inside me.”

“Pl-please, call me Taehyung,” he pleads, raising himself up on his elbows to beg for a kiss.

You oblige, watching his desperation slowly take over his entire being. His lips are soft as he kisses you like a man starved, and you wonder who was the last person he kissed like this. Does he kiss all of the Handmaids he impregnates?

The next words you say are perfectly calculated. “Taehyung, I want your baby.”

There’s no reaction other than his hands clenching into tight fists, and his breathing getting harsher and harsher as his cock slams deep into you, and you clench around him one more time, only to feel him fill you up with his cum. The seed that you need to get pregnant and save your own life.

He doesn’t stop thrusting. His cock is still twitching inside you, and you can still feel the cum threaten to leak out. Dr Kim Taehyung lets out a long sigh of contentment as he expertly tilts the chair so that your hips are slightly raised.

When he’s satisfied, he slowly pulls out, eyes glued to the mess in between your legs. Only a little bit of cum is dripping out, and he reaches for a tissue to clean it up. The way he’s looking at you, a little bit too fondly, makes you realise that this is getting a bit too personal for your liking.

“Blessed be the fruit,” you remind him, and the phrase is like magic. You are all reminded of your roles in this society, and the forbidden act which you have both committed.

Dr Kim Taehyung seems to sober up when he hears this, as he tucks himself back into his pants and attempts to straighten his doctor’s coat.

“May the Lord open. You should… um. Stay here for the next ten to fifteen minutes. The nurses will be in to help you get dressed shortly,” he clears his throat as he lets the privacy curtain fall back into place. “And um… good luck.”

He leaves the room hurriedly, and you close your eyes, squeezing your thighs together and feeling the warmth that his cum leaves behind, feeling like your body is finally yours again.

You don’t know how much time has passed before the nurses come in and help you get dressed, and when you walk out of the room, Yeri makes a pointed remark about how long she had to wait. You follow her without a word to the car, waiting as Driver Jung opens the door for her, then you.

All the while, a secret smile upon your lips as you feel the cum from earlier drip down your inner thigh.

[zevlors-tail]

Okay but hear me out

Dad villain Izuku.

( I mean dadzuku for the won but still!)

Like, him having his precious little boy/girl?

Fierce protective dad?

Huh...kinda sounds like the start of a Mob AU.

Idk i just like dad izuku so I thought you might too!

You have just opened a can of worms you cannot close!!! Haha but really, here's some pregnancy/baby headcanons because a lot of people tend to enjoy that. Not really my cup of tea, but I'll make an exception here. To your credit, you've got me really thinking on this. 😳

“Not really my cup of tea”, I say, as I make the world’s longest headcanons about Vil!Deku being a dad.

TW: Pregnancy, children, cursing. :)

Dad Villain!Deku HC's

-Look, Vil!Deku is already possessive as fuck. The second he finds out you're pregnant? He will literally be attached to you at the hip. Can't go anywhere without this man. Can you say coddling?

-He's so thrilled and nervous at the same time. Not about being a bad parent or anything, more about you or your child getting injured, threatened, or put in danger.

-It started with some symptoms that looked like the run of the mill flu. You probably got pretty bad morning sickness, and he fussed over you the whole time; held your hair back for you, rubbed your back, made you tea, the whole nine yards.

-Both of you just thought it was a stomach bug. But you just kept getting sick, and Deku actually took some time off work to stay with you and make sure you were okay (what a gentleman).

-After a week of being sick, this man is so concerned about you and your health that he calls a doctor to your place to take a look at you. God help that poor doctor because if he even looks at you the wrong way, Deku will obliterate him.

-Doctor asks if you could be pregnant, and both of you just kind of go quiet.

-Deku had thought of that possibility but refused to acknowledge it because something that good? Happening to an outcast like him? A criminal? To someone who was never worthy enough to be a hero? No. Way.

-But it did! You can probably see Deku's eyes visibly sparkle when the doc asks that question. The doctor leaves with the theory that you're pregnant and tells you to take a test.

-Congratulations! You're both going to be parents!

-Everything is so different after that. Deku has always been soft on you because you're his Sweet, but he's extra soft and caring now. Also extremely protective and possessive?

-"It's just the grocery store. I can do it myself, it's alright!" You're out of groceries? He's going with you. You can't argue it. "I'll go with you." "What if someone recognizes you?" "They won't say a word about it. I’ll make sure of it." You know what that means...

-Pregnancy cravings are wild, but he's miraculously got it covered. Never forgets a single craving you've had. Always has your favorite foods on hand, including the odd ones. Pickles? There's three whole jars in the fridge. Certain flavor of chips? Always a bag in the pantry. And if there's ever an instance where you crave something he doesn't have on hand, he makes his lackeys go get it while he stays at home with you. But if he absolutely had to, he would get it himself.

-Nobody is allowed to touch you, especially not now that you're carrying his child. If anyone so much as breathes too close to you, they're toast.

-Keeps tabs on you 24/7. Has to know where you're at and that you're okay or he's worrying 25/8.

-Somehow he's even more crazy about you? Just the fact that you're pregnant with his child is enough to stir him up any day, any time. You've definitely caught him staring at your stomach obsessively several times.

-Takes THEE best care of you. You are your child's lifeline and the love of his life, so you have to stay healthy and happy. Once again...can you say coddling? Makes sure you've eaten throughout the day, brings you water, makes you rest, runs you hot baths, generally just keeps an eye on you to make sure you're okay. Oh, and if you're working? Say goodbye to that job for now. No way you're doing anything strenuous while he can help it.

-If you for some reason insist on keeping the 9-5 job and you manage to convince him otherwise, he visits you on your lunch break whenever he can and hacks into the security cameras way too often for his own good. Literally will be in the middle of a meeting watching live feed from your store. 

-Whenever the kid is due, he’s gonna have a bit of a rough time during the whole process. It’s hard for him, because he doesn’t trust the doctors and nurses at the hospital to give you top notch care when he’s not there, and he can’t really take you there anyways because of his villain status (do you think maybe villains have hospitals and resources for each other?? That would be kind of cool...). He ends up pulling some strings with a fellow vigilante/former villain connection who works in the hospital, and they work out some sort of undercover deal probably?

-Don’t question, just accept. He’s got it all covered. He gets to stay with you through everything and he’s got the best doctors and nurses on your case, top notch, extremely professional and comforting for you. They don’t bat an eye at a villain and his s/o and child, they just do their job and keep quiet about it (how does some extra cash sound?).

-Super tense right up until it’s all done. If looks could kill, everyone in that room besides you and the baby would be dead. But he softens right up once he gets to hold the baby. Despite you being extremely tired, you’re glad you stayed awake to see this, because there’s a certain look on his face. For a second, it almost seems like he’s back to how he was before...almost as if he was never a villain in the first place. The hope in his eyes is reminiscent of something old and nostalgic; it reminds you of when he aspired to be a hero. But still it’s not quite right.

-He is immediately mesmerized by your child. “They look like you...” He’s never held something so vulnerable before and felt so...warm, other than the times he’s held you.

-He would kill for both you and your child. If anyone ever threatened you or put the both of you in a dangerous situation, he would drop everything without a second thought to come running to save you. Pray for anyone who comes between the two of you; Deku will make sure they meet a fate worse than death.

-You both take turns taking care of the baby when they wake you up at night, but Deku will be willing to get up before you do nine out of ten times. He loves his child, he really does. It gives him something to take care of and nurture and it makes him feel hopeful again. That kid is his pride and joy.

-There was one time (but only one, because you absolutely ripped into him for it) where you heard the baby cry, and Deku offered to get up and take care of it, so you rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. But he never came back to bed, and the baby had been silent for a long time, so you got up to check on them to make sure they were alright, and what did you find? Deku, wide awake at his work desk with his laptop open, baby sitting comfortably on his lap with a bottle, and some surveillance footage and grotesque crime scene pictures pulled up. You were livid.

-”You better not be doing what I think you’re doing. You’re going to traumatize our child.” He looks like a deer caught in headlights when you interrupt his work. The baby just coos and gurgles, and you are absolutely mortified. He looks like he’s about to say something, and you cut him off before he can answer. “Whatever you’re going to say better be a damn good apology, Deku.” Oh, he’s in trouble all right. He just slowly shuts his laptop and brings the baby over to you. Kisses can fix everything, right? ;) He better hope so.

-Even though he’s a villain, the baby always goes quiet when he holds them. It’s like magic, almost. Sometimes you can’t get them to stop crying, and Deku will just come up and look at him with those soft eyes he reserves for only the two of you, and the baby just starts cooing and reaching out for him. Gee, favorites much?

-Never was there ever a moment more peaceful and serene than the time you came home to Deku asleep on the couch with his arms cradled around your child, face soft from sleep and the baby breathing lightly. You feel so lucky to have this in your life. It’s not easy being villains, but this was something you never expected to have, and it’s changed both of you for the better. 

Bonus:

-If Deku still has a relationship with his mom, you can bet he gets her to babysit when you decide to go back to work (if you do at all, because he really wants you to stay at home with him and the baby).

-If your mother wasn’t the best or isn’t around, congrats, Mama Midoriya is now your mother, and there is nothing you can do about it. And honestly? Deku loves seeing the way you bond with her. He’s made himself a tiny family that loves him for who he is. There’s no greater feeling in the world than that.

[wastelandcth]

Baby Fever - cth

summary: The three times Calum realized him and Dovey wanted a baby and the one time they got one. 

author’s notes: i hope you guys enjoy prebaby doves and how they got Charlie!

warnings: mentions of pregnancy

masterlist || request || more doves

The first time Calum realized that he wanted to be a dad, Dovey was making funny faces at a toddler in the grocery store. 

It had been a simple gesture. Dovey had scrunched up her nose and the baby in the shopping cart in front of them had giggled. It was a moment so small and he was pretty sure that Dovey hadn't even noticed him watching. But since that day and as they both went about running errands, Calum couldn't get the idea of having their own baby to be able to make funny faces for out of his head. He'd never tell Dovey that but he was more than willing to put his life of being on tour and living the rockstar life on hold if that meant he could watch Dovey be a mom and see himself as a dad. 

He hadn't been sure how to tell Dovey. The two of them had always put off the baby talk because they were more than happy being dog parents and with Calum's hectic work schedule, it had never seemed like the right time to bring up growing a family. HE wasn't even sure if Dovey wanted kids at this point. Some days she'd talk on and on about how she wouldn't know the first thing to do when it came to motherhood and then the next she was bragging over how she'd gotten Ashton's son to bed faster than Ash ever could when they were babysitting. But he'd seen the way Dovey offered more and more to babysit or to even just hold a baby when the opportunity arose. Calum wasn't sure if he was even ready for a child, but that was a problem for a different day. 

The second time Calum realized he wanted a baby, he and Dovey were at Target and had passed by the baby section, ending in both of them squealing over how tiny a baby Yoda onesie was. Calum had pointed out the onesie, knowing that Dovey had been obsessed with anything baby Yoda at the moment and he couldn't help but lead her over to the baby section when he saw her face soften. 

"Can you imagine how tiny a human has to be to fit into one of these?" she mumbled in awe as she held up the tiny piece of clothing, "Your bicep probably wouldn't even fit, Dovey."

"It's tiny, huh?" Calum had chuckled, his arms wrapping around his wife's waist as they kept walking through the store, Calum not missing when Dovey had pulled the onesie into the cart at checkout.

And when Dovey started dressing Duke in baby clothes, Calum hoped this meant more than just dressing up the poor dog for entertainment. The first time it had happened was a few days after their trip to Target, when Calum walked into the bedroom to find Dovey wrestling Duke to get the baby Yoda onesie on him. He'd watched her struggle as Duke wiggled away from her but once the last button was secured and Duke was laying in her arms, Dovey looked more than pleased. 

"You really should stop torturing the poor dog," Calum had teased as he walked over to kiss her forehead and pat the old dog on the head, "He's only just started liking you."

"He's liked me since day one, Dove, and besides, he looks so comfy and cute!" Dovey laughed and set the dog down, wrapping her arms around Calum's waist and pulling him in for a kiss. 

"Should just make a baby instead of torturing Duke," Calum mumbled, half-joking as he looked at Dovey's face for any sort of reaction. 

"Haha, so funny, Hood. Don't make promises you can't keep," she teased and nudged him with her elbow before chasing after Duke with her phone in her hand. 

The third time Calum realized he needed to be a dad was when he held Ashton's newborn. The little one was so tiny and warm and Calum felt an overwhelming sense of love for the child he'd met a few seconds ago. Ashton and his wife had come to visit for the first time since the arrival of their first child and the Hoods were absolutely head over heels with the newborn. Calum had bounced off the walls since Ashton had texted him that morning asking if they could stop by to get a change of scenery. 

"He's so tiny," Calum mumbled as he looked down at the tiny baby in his arms, rocking him slowly as he sat still on the couch, "I can't believe he's finally here after months of waiting."

"That's usually what happens, Dove," Dovey had teased, her eyes watching the little baby squirm in Calum's arms before settling down with a big yawn. 

"And when are you two going to pop one out?" Ashton asked and chuckled quietly, not missing the quick glances the Doves gave one another. 

"Oh, I don't know, maybe sooner than later." 

Dovey had been acting strange, she was restless and every time Calum questions her about it, she'd shut him down and said she was excited about dinner. She'd been more hesitant to go out and enjoy a night out, opting for mocktails instead of her usual order. Calum hadn't wanted to bring it up, fearing he was looking too into it, and instead waited for Dovey to say something to him about. 

Calum had noticed something was off with Dovey. She'd been clingier around him, always wanting to hold his hand when they were in public and when it was just the two of them alone at home, she was always on his lap. But the one thing that stood out the most to Calum was whenever Dovey saw a baby, she would stare. It wasn't a creepy stare, Calum hoped. It was just a fond look where Dovey would try her hardest to make a random baby giggle or even smile. It wasn't until Calum and her were at home one night that Dovey had finally said something. 

"How do you feel about kids?" she'd whispered as they laid on the couch facing one another, her thumb tracing a line from the top of his cheek to his jaw. 

"Used to think I didn't want any," Calum mumbled, "But recently...I don't know, I think I'd like to try," he whispered, leaning into Dovey's touch as his eyes closed.

 "Me too," Dovey whispered and smiled as she watched Calum's eyebrows furrow, "I think we should try." 

"Now?" he teased and chuckled. 

"I mean..."

"And let's turn this thing on, see if we can't hear baby, yeah?" the ultrasound technician said softly. 

Dovey's hand was held tightly in Calum's, both of them trying to take in the moment in the dim-lit office as the machine was turned on. Dovey's gasp was drowned out by the loud thumpthumpthump coming from the doppler, her hand squeezing Calum's tightly as they both listened to their baby's heartbeat. Calum felt like he was in a fever dream, like the past couple of months had flown by and that he was going to wake up any second to find himself on the couch alone. Dovey had taken a test two weeks before the appointment, Calum had been confused when he heard her footsteps rushing towards his office where he was met by a tear struck Dovey. 

"It's positive," she'd choked out, the tears finally falling down her cheeks as Calum pulled her into a tight hug, "I'm pregnant." 

"And here we see the little one." the technician pointed out the small bean shape on the screen, causing the two Doves to burst back into tears as the measurements were taken. 

"Oh my god, our little bean," Calum chuckled shakily through his tears, watching the screen as he pressed a kiss to Dovey's forehead. 

Later that day, when the tears had dried and many congratulations were given from everyone in the doctor's office, Dovey and Calum found themselves on their couch again. The sonogram pictures were sitting in Dovey's lap, both of them still in awe of the day to really process that their baby was real and that in a couple of months they would become parents. Calum had already begun to shop for baby essentials, their extra room already filled with nursery items even though neither of them had told anyone the news of the baby. But for now, their little secret would stay with them both, hidden in Calum's wallet, and only when the bump which had shown up a few days after Dovey had hit her second trimester, would Calum post a picture of him with the picture of their soon to be bundle of joy. 

taglist: @hoodhoran​​ @finelliine​​ @moonlightcriess​​ @dinosaursandsocks @mxgyver​ @calpops​ @karajaynetoday​ @notlukehemmo​ @calumrose​ @devilatmydoor​ @lyss-xo @lowkeyflop​  @notinthesameguey​ @hemmo1996-5sosvevo​ @myloverboyash​

[odd-birds-and-booksellers]

“Alex…” Jo interrupts, her hand slowly curing round his, the one resting on her bump. He can feel his lips trembling as the tears he’d fought so hard to keep at bay begin to fall. 

"I put glow in the dark stars up.” He whispered. "So she can't be dead."

On one of the rare occasions, Alex and Jo’s days off don’t coincide, Alex finds himself wishing for a six-hour surgery, hell he’d rather be removing splinters than deciding between lemon sherbet and soft daffodil. To say he was excited about the impending arrival of their second child would be an understatement but completing the ridiculously long list Jo had left him to do this morning before rushing off with Robin felt more like torture.

He understood though, with only two months to go everything seemed to pile up on them, the quiet calm they had mistaken for panic when Robin was on the way paled in comparison when they were trying to juggle two full time demanding careers, a new puppy, a new baby and a toddler whose main goal in life seemed to be giving his parents a heart attack with the many hiding places he could find.

And this is how Alex found himself staring into the abyss of a million Amazon boxes that Jo had somehow managed to sneak by him, with various shades of yellow paint cans dotted around.

He understood Jo’s desire to make everything perfect, she’d been that way since she’d stepped out of the loft bathroom over two years ago, her hands shaking as she lifted the test towards him clearly displaying two lines. He swears they both had good intentions when Robin was born, he wouldn’t be spoiled, there wouldn't be gifts that make up for missing birthdays or missing bedtimes, they’d be honest about mommy and daddy having to work hard for everything they have and yet they couldn’t seem to stop themselves, because the luxury of giving their son and now their daughter everything they’d never had brought more happiness to Jo and Alex then maybe their children would ever understand. There could never be a single second their children doubted how loved and wanted they truly were, so it didn’t matter if their daughter would be in with them for the first few months, her room had to be finished before she arrived.

Their daughter...he smiles at the mere thought of her, their daughter, who likes to kick when their reading Robins bedtime stories, or plays the guitar on Jo’s rib cage until Alex sings along softly with her in the early hours of the morning, their daughter who’d refused to make herself seen for the first two scans.

It’s only when Alex finishes the last coat of soft daffodil that he hears the faint ringing of his phone above the radio. Shuffling down the ladder he wipes the back of his hand on his shirt as he hears the familiar ringtone sound again making Alex frown as he manages to navigate his way through the maze of boxes he's built around himself.

There’s a slight twitch in his chest as he begins down the stairs hearing his phone fall quiet only to start up again seconds later. He finds it still plugged in by the coffee machine where he’d left it, glancing at the screen to see he had twelve missed calls and three voicemails.

There's a definite twitch in his chest now as he clicks play on Jo's first voicemail, his lips twitching up at the sound of Robin's singing. They sounded like they were still in the car as Jo listed off a few more things she needed him to do.

"Hey, sorry I know you said not to go overboard but there are two more deliveries coming today so make sure to listen out for them and oh oh...if you get a chance to go grocery shopping we need...well we need pretty much everything but get me those cupcakes with the oranges on them and oh erm..." She paused after taking a slightly heavy breath. "I do not feel great today, maybe I can get someone to take over my surgeries. Oh and don’t forget to get the box of baby clothes down from the attic will you...okay... I love you, Alex, I’ll call you later."

He frowned quickly, bypassing the message Meredith had left, assuming it was whatever love triangle tragedy she had that day. He finds Jo's second message. There was no greeting to this one, only Jo's panicked voice.

"Why aren’t you answering the phone Alex? What’s the point of having one if you don’t ever answer it?”

His phone beeped again, signalling another message had been left, this time from Meredith again.

"Alex, where the hell are you? You need to be here now. I don't know if Jo is trying not to worry you but Carina is having her admitted so get over here before I leave work and drag you here myself.”

He felt his heart begin to drop in his chest as he hit replay, trying to piece together what was happening. Before he even knew it his feet were carrying him towards the front door, keys in hand as he rushed out. His entire mind had narrowed in on one simple need: to get to Jo.

He couldn't think of much else as he drove, he doesn’t even remember his route to the hospital he just remembers being at home and then bursting through the doors of Grey Sloan. He was severely out of breath by the time he caught sight of Meredith outside the maternity ward talking quietly with Bailey.

The best thing about Meredith, and what made her excel as a doctor, was that she was damn good in a crisis. So she knew the minute their eyes met that Alex just needed Jo. As soon as he’s within reach she wraps an arm around his shoulder—which felt way too much like condolences for Alex's liking and leads him through the doors where Carina was already waiting. This had to be a mistake. Jo was fine last night. Their daughter was fine last night. He’d felt her kicking as they’d talked. They’d talked about his mom's upcoming visit, and maybe going to see Amber and her family for Christmas or inviting them here.

"—I know. It's awful." Carina mutters her eyes on Jo's chart. The intern beside her nodded in agreement.

"I hope Dr Karev shows up before the ultrasound. She shouldn't have to deal with that alone." The intern responds.

“He’s here,” Carina whispers as she looks up, hearing Alex and Meredith footsteps as she tucks the chart under her arm. “If you can go set up the ultrasound while I talk to him.”

"Of course."

Alex gulps at the sorrow on Carina’s face as she steps closer, it's all too much for him as he averts his gaze down to the floor, his eyes catching on the silver band around his finger, splattered with yellow paint from earlier.

"What's going on?" Alex asks, hearing his voice crack as Meredith drops her hand from his back.

"Alex, you need to take a breath and pull yourself together because right now Jo needs you.”

He doesn't respond to Mer, doesn't even look at her as he raises his gaze back towards Carina, “What’s going on?” He repeats, his voice lower this time.

"Jo's in premature labour. She mentioned a couple of hours ago that she had some pretty bad Braxton Hicks, but then she timed them and they were too close together and too regular. So she paged me, and when I checked her cervix had already begun to open-”

Alex found himself nodding along but Carina’s words soon faded to quiet buzz in his ears. His fingers are already twitching to hold Jo. This couldn’t be happening, not to them. Not now.

"Okay." He whispers his voice dangerously low as he blinks back tears, desperately trying to pull himself together when everything in him was burning. Please don’t do this, please don’t take her from us, please don’t do this to her . He can feel his nails digging into the palm of his hand, the only way he's sure he’s still alive is the dull pain he feels as he takes a deep breath gathering himself slowly. Suddenly his doctor brain kicks in as he begins to ask what they are doing to fix this, listing everything he knew like he wasn’t surrounded by some of the best doctors he knew.

Carina nods, her words still buzzing in Alex’s head as she explains the past couple of hours, Jo’s contractions stopped an hour ago, her cervix hasn't opened any further.

“We’re just waiting to do an ultrasound...it really needs to be done right away.”

“Right...what's the problem then?”

“She’s refusing Alex, won't let anyone near her.”

Alex shakes his head, that's not true. Jo wouldn’t...she would never do anything that could harm their baby. She wouldn’t refuse medical care. He watches as Meredith shoots another look to Carina who sighs, tilting her head in a way that has Alex’s heart dropping into his stomach. “I tried earlier with the stethoscope to find the heartbeat...and was unsuccessful.”

"Alex, do you understand? We couldn't find a heartbeat. Dr DeLuca tried and I did too. Even Jo tried...now she’s refusing the ultrasound, she won’t let anyone touch her."

The childish reaction was quick and automatic. "Maybe you didn’t try hard enough, you didn’t do it right, okay? You know you should check properly.”

Carina took a deep breath. "Alex, I'm sorry. I’m going to do an ultrasound, of course, but…I don't know. It's usually easy to hear it with a stethoscope at twenty-eight weeks. Intrauterine deaths happen and there's not much—"

He felt like he couldn't breathe. His hand was clutching at his chest trying to feel the air filling his lungs but he couldn’t feel a thing as everything went fuzzy again. "Stop. Just shut up. You don’t know Jo. You don’t know our…"

"I'm so, so, s o sorry, Alex," Mer whispered. "I know how much you wanted her."

He felt his eyes burning. "I still want her. And you're wrong because I just felt her kick last night. She was kicking when I sang—she always does that. She does. So she can't be dead."

He chokes on his words. “She’s not...dead.”

There’s a quiet discussion mainly between Carina and Meredith who seems to be answering for Alex as they both guide him towards a door at the end of the corridor:

He has to stand outside the door for a full minute as he tries to get a hold of himself. He doesn’t want his face to show how truly scared he is at this moment.

When he does finally gather himself enough to step into the room he notices how the curtains were pulled, blocking almost all of the sunlight from the otherwise dark room. Jo was curled up onto her side, her entire body tucked protectively around Robin's sleeping frame. She hadn't even lifted her head or made a move to turn when the door shut behind Alex, and that terrified him so deeply that he couldn't even move. It had all suddenly gotten very real.

He walked slowly around the bed so he could see her face, he needed to meet her eyes or he’d never believe any of this was true. But as he rounded the bed he was met with her blank stare, blinking slowly as she took in his form.

"Robin needs to go home. I don't want him to have to see any more of this." She said quietly. She made no move to speak about what was going on. She was emotionless and it terrified him. Suddenly flashbacks of the first time he’d ever seen her look so shut down came to mind. When she’d first met her biological mother. When she’d shut down and left him out in the cold. He wasn’t sure he could survive it back then, he’d needed her so much but now he was certain he’d never survive without her.

Alex turned his focus to his son, who was asleep with his face scrunched up against Jo’s chest, his chubby hands resting on the swell of her stomach.

"I can get Mer to take him home with her." He told Jo quietly, he couldn't find any other words to say, it seemed neither could she.

Jo just nods in response but makes no effort to move. Alex could tell by her hand curling tighter around Robin's back that she wasn’t quite ready to let him go yet.

He’s not sure how much time passes next, as he takes a seat carefully on the edge of the bed. Reaching out gingerly to run his hands softly across Jo's cheek. And it’s in that moment when their eyes meet, his thumb tracing the already dried tear tracks down her face that they break. She lifts her right arm gathering a handful of his shirt tightly pulling him closer, pressing her cheek against his chest so she could hear his steady heartbeat. She doesn't say anything and for a second she’s silent before the sob she must’ve been holding back erupts from her and Alex can feel the tears begin to soak through his T-shirt. He feels powerless, all he can do is keep a steady arm wrapped around his wife holding her tightly to him. That was what hurt him the most about this. He couldn't do anything to take her pain away. He couldn’t fix this.

“Jo…Jo Carina is waiting to do an ultrasound…we need…we need to be sure.” Alex sighs trying to keep his tears at bay as she continues to shake in his arms. “Why won’t you let her help?”

"I didn't want anyone else." She finally admits, loosening her grip enough that he can see her face, her lips trembling as she speaks. The sight alone sends another sharp stab through Alex’s heart. "I didn't want anyone. I wanted you. I wanted—I wanted you to make it better."

Alex nods, wishing with everything in him that he could make any of this better. He lets out a shaky breath as Jo settles back down so her head was resting on his chest, her face pressing into his collarbone. He knows it is selfish, he knows it might kill them both but he can’t help reaching out over Robin's little body and pressing his hand to her stomach. He waits a moment…before pressing again, still waiting to feel the usual response. He hears Jo's breath hitch as she too waits for the little nudge of their daughter's feet, he knows she’s usually responded by now but he waits, he just keeps waiting. He thinks sort of him will always be waiting for that little kick…he thinks this moment might be frozen in time. Not us. This happens to people, but not us. Maybe it wasn’t fair to think like that, after all, every day he sees the worst card parents could ever be handed in life and yet he says the same lines about support groups and doing everything he could and not once did he think he’d ever need to hear those words.

He doesn’t know how long he keeps his hand there just waiting. "I just finished painting the nursery. I went with soft daffodils but if you prefer lemon sherbet we can change it…we can pick whatever colour you want, and I know I said we didn’t need a new crib but if you want that fancy one we’ll-“

“Alex…” Jo interrupts, her hand slowly curling around his own on her bump. He can feel his own lips trembling as the tears he’d fought so hard to keep at bay begin to fall.

"I put glow in the dark stars up.” He whispered. "So she can't be dead."

There’s no logic to what he said. There’s no truth to his reasoning but he believes it. Jo winces at his words or more likely one word in particular. He feels her drag his hand down to where Robin's tiny hands rest, a little reminder of what they still have.

Alex moves closer to them, pulling Robin gently onto his chest, sliding over and opening his arms for Jo. Letting her sink into him. She rests against him like she no longer has the strength to hold herself up.

“I'm sorry. I thought it was nothing more than Braxton Hicks. Can you believe that? I’m a freaking doctor and I couldn’t tell the difference between Braxton hicks and labour. I should have known better. I did this. This is my fault—"

Alex cuts her off, shushing her. "It's not your fault," he assures her. Life was unfair. He knew that. But this pain Jo didn’t deserve. Not his children. Not Robin. Not their new little girl with the stars on her ceiling. Not his family. They hadn't built this together for it to be broken.

"Please don't cry," she pleaded, her voice wavering. "Please don't, it terrifies me. I'm already so scared, Alex. I'm so scared."

Alex just nods, swallowing deeply as he pulls her tighter against his side. It was true that everything had changed once he'd had children. He no longer understood how he had lived without them. And he was realizing that everything he gained could be taken just as easily. He knew that, if this baby really were gone, there would be nothing he could do to ever fix the pain that would settle in Jo's heart or his own for that matter.

He feels Robin begin to stir against him and he forces a smile on his face and kisses his head, smiling genuinely when the little one lifts his arms, reaching out for his father in an instant.

"Daddy” He cheered, his little fists gripping Alex’s T-shirt as he shifted him higher up his chest. He settles his palm on the back of his head and kisses his head again.

"Robin, how would you feel about playing with Ellis, Bailey and Zola tonight?" He asks him carefully.

Robin is as stubborn as his mother. "Scout?" He suggests instead.

"Yeah okay, we can see if Uncle Link will take you. You can play with Scout and then mommy and daddy will see you when you wake up." He knows Robin has no real clue on what’s happening around him but he knew Jo had been right. He didn't need to be here.

Robin lifts his head and peers down at Jo. He seemed to be thinking hard about the proposition before shaking his head fiercely.

"No."

No was his new favourite word and Alex was already sick of hearing it. He strokes his hair back as he meets eyes with Jo. Her tears are still falling steadily. Her hands spread out over her stomach and he knew she was waiting to feel something still.

"No, I want mommy," Robin insists. His little face mustering up what Alex assumed was a scowl as he reached over to wrap his hand around one of Jo's curls hanging loose in front of her face. Alex didn’t have it in him to battle Robin today, it’s not like he wanted to let go of Jo either.

They were out of time to decide what to do about Robin because Carina was already wheeling in the ultrasound. Jo tensed beside him, her hand gripping his tightly as he rose from his place on the bed lifting Robin with him.

"I can't. Please." She whispers and if possible his heart cracked even more.

She was hanging on by a thin thread, but she was hanging onto him. They could survive this…they could survive it together. He lifts Robin higher up his chest, gently cradling Robin's head to his shoulder as the little one's legs wrapped around him.

Alex stared at the swell of Jo’s stomach, the same stomach he'd kissed just last night and singing old country songs much to Jo's amusement. There was no way…there was no way she was…he’d just finished her room…the paint was still wet. Her name is written in stars above her crib. She can’t be.

Alex didn't even realize he was crying until Carina flashes him a sympathetic smile. Robin lifts his head as he squirms in his fathers’ tight grip, peering up at him with a frown. Reaching out to touch his cheeks with his small hands.

"Daddy sad?” He whispers curiously. Alex was torn because there’s no way of explaining this to their toddler and he doesn't want to scare him. Instead, he settles for pressing him back against his chest, his little face squeezed against his neck because while he didn’t want him to watch he also couldn’t bear to let him go.

He watches as Carina helps Jo to sit up. It was too much to watch, the way her whole body shakes as her cries shook through her. He reached for her hand, laying limp by her side, his hand covering hers as he threaded their fingers together. She squeezes his hand back, gripping onto him like he was the only thing stopping her from coming undone. Her hand in his gave him a spark of hope that maybe no matter what happened next they’d make it together, as long they just kept holding on.

He almost dropped Robin in paralyzing relief when the familiar whooshing of the heartbeat filled the room. He lets out a cry of relief as he shakes his head. Alex presses his face back into Robin's hair and squeezes Jo's hand tightly, his heart still pounding away.

"Why wasn't she moving?" Jo asks, her voice hoarse. "I tried everything and she wouldn't move. And why couldn't you find it before?"

"Babies don't move much if at all during labour," Carina explained. "And I don't know. I listened for such a long time.” Once again Alex’s mind blocks out the surrounding noise until it’s a quiet buzz. Instead, he focuses on the image of their baby girl on the screen, the feel of Robin's hot breath against his neck and Jo's hand still clutching his tightly. His family. He’s had these images ever since they’d decided to try for a second…maybe even longer, before Robin, before he and Jo had even got married he’d had this whole dream…Jo, their kids and the house they’d live in and the life they’d live. “But you'll have to be on strict bed rest for the rest of this pregnancy, and even then there's no way to know how long you can prolong labour. If we can keep her from being born for at least a month she’ll be in a much better position."

He comes back down to reality when he feels Jo tug at his hand, she’s looking up at him expectantly. “There’s our girl,” He whispers, leaning closer, pressing a quiet kiss to her hair, not even glancing at Carina as she backs out of the room to give them a moment.

"What if I have to give birth soon?" She mumbled into his shirt. "What if we lose her anyway?"

He shook his head firmly. "We won't.”

He kisses her forehead and glances down at Robin before turning back to Jo. She was looking at him with that look. The one that communicated very clearly that she trusted him with everything in her.

Alex set his hands on her stomach and let out another relieved breath.

"God." He said quietly. She set her hand over his and caressed the back of his hand with her thumb.

Jo's expression twists with guilt. "I’m so sorry...this is all my fault. I've been overworking myself. I always think I can do so much more than I can and our girl is suffering because of it. Maybe I'm not fit to be a mother."

Alex shook his head. "If you're not fit to be a mother, Jo, no one is. Hell, you know what an unfit parent looks like and you are not one."

She opens her mouth to say something else, but abruptly she stops, her eyes widening slightly in surprise. Her expression goes from shock to joy in no time at all as she grabs his hands gently and moves them back to her stomach, pressing down lightly. Alex feels a familiar, returning nudge, gentle and soft, but definitely there. He laughs giddily and locks eyes with Jo, pleased when she laughs in return. He moves around the bed, leaning over Jo so he could press a kiss to the spot he'd last felt the nudge. He keeps his cheek pressed against her soft skin for a moment, whispering a quiet ‘I love you.’ before looking back at Jo’s teary gaze.

"Robin, come here. Come feel your sister." He tells the toddler. Alex tugs him up into his lap and helps guide his hand to the spot he'd just kissed. He applies slight pressure and laughs at the joyous giggle Robin gives when he feels the baby move underneath his hand.

"That's your little sister."

Robin looked up at her father and smiled but the tiny movements didn’t keep his attention for long as he began to climb out of Alex’s grip, into Jo's welcoming arms.

“It’s gonna be okay Jo. We’re gonna be okay.”

Jo looks up at him. Tears still trailing down her face but the sparkle missing from her gaze earlier was slowly making its way back.

He smiles gently, reaching out to cup her face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs softly over the wet trails her tears left. "Everything’s gonna be okay.” He promised. "You'll see."

And she did. A little over two months later their baby girl made her entrance into the world, a little less dramatic than her brother as she’d been monitored so closely, that it was no surprise when she decided to join everyone. With her brown eyes sparkling with the same warmth as her mother’s and a full head of hair she was every little bit perfect as Alex had imagined. A little taste of heaven.

“Hey, baby…welcome home.” Alex grinned as he pulled open the door to the nursery, ushering in Robin who proudly displayed the teddy he’d chosen for his baby sister as Jo slowly made her way inside. She’d been too afraid to step inside since the incident, she claimed it would jinx it.

“Oh wow…” She hummed happily looking down at the bundle in her arms, who as predicted was still asleep and had no understanding of the magnitude of the moment happening around her. “Aren’t you a lucky girl P?”

“Mommy… I see…you sit.” Robin yelps, pulling Jo from the bottom of her cardigan towards the new rocking chair set up in the corner. Jo is all too happy to take a seat, allowing Robin to catch sight of his baby sister.

“It’s perfect Alex…Thank you.” Jo mumbles after a minute, catching Alex’s eye who had taken the moment to settle against the door frame and just watch his family.

He smiles softly, before pushing up off the frame heading towards the window. “You haven’t seen the best bit.” He pulls the blinds down slowly, letting darkness take over the room leaving only the glowing stars for light.

Robin gasped as he looked around in wonder but Jo's eyes remained trained on Alex. “I love you.” She whispers.

“I love you.” Alex grins, kneeling down beside the chair as he runs his hand across their daughter's head. “I love you all…now look up.”

Tilting her head, Jo looked up at the ceiling and gasped. The stars trailed up the wall and right above the crib, they clustered together, spelling out their dear daughter's name.

Peyton.

-

Yes. This is a day late. But it's also very on-brand for me so.

This one-shot is part of the What Could've Been universe so if you haven't read them I would thoroughly recommend reading them, you find them all under my master post on Tumblr.

Also, I made all the medical crap up, so don't come for me with corrections...I don't care.

[mymoonagedaydream]

Only the Good Die Young (Part 1)

Summary: Coming home from college for the summer, you expected your days to be spent reading in your bedroom and sitting through tense to family dinners- but an old acquaintance had something else in mind for you

Pairing: Biker!Bucky x y/n

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Language, strong anti-religious sentiment throughout, harmful relationship with parents, irresponsible motorcycle healthy and safety measures, smoking

Author's Note: Something a bit different, why the hell not. This story is based around lyrics from Billy Joel's 'Only the Good Die Young'. What a man.

---

'Y/n! You look… healthy.' 

Those were your mother's first words as you walked through the door of your family home. Not saying how pleased she was to see you or asking how your flight was, but commenting on how you looked with her typical passive-aggressive euphemisms.

This was going to be a long summer. 

Initially you were adamant about staying at your dorm, even on your own. All you wanted was peace and space. Then your parents threatened to cut you off if you didn't come home, so here you were. 

You traipsed upstairs. Approaching your bedroom, you saw the bolt haphazardly screwed to the outside of the door. Your father had installed it when you were twelve, after he caught you watching ‘ungodly’ TV shows in the living room at midnight- Doctor Who. 

Your room had been redecorated. It looked fucking dreadful. You glanced up at the wall and a little bit of sick shot up to the back of your mouth when you saw a ‘live, laugh, love’ sticker plastered up there. 

A long, long summer.

---

Your first errand was grocery shopping. Wandering around the store, you grabbed everything on the list and headed to the checkout. Through the front window you saw billows of smoke blowing past, but you couldn’t quite see where they were coming from. 

As you stepped outside, you looked over to see a pretty big group of guys in leather jackets, most of them with cigarettes on the go. They were gathered around the corner of the building, the one you had to walk past to get home. You kept your head down, gripping your grocery bags tight and passing them as quickly as possible, when you heard one of them pipe up. 

'Well holy shit. Y/n?'

You turned towards the voice. James Barnes. 

The two of you went to high school together but, apart from the occasional stilted conversation and reluctant group project, you’d never really developed any sort of relationship. Besides, he always hung out with people your mother didn't approve of. 

And he was what, now? In a motorcycle gang? Figures. 

'Hi James. Good to see you.' You mumbled, breaking stride momentarily. His friends seemed to find that funny. 

'People call me Bucky now.' 

Nodding feebly, you gave him a polite smile before moving off again. You noticed that your face felt warm and your stomach was involuntarily tensing. Sure, he was much more handsome and charismatic than you remembered, but you had no idea why being in his presence was making you this nervous. You heard approaching footsteps and in a second he was by your side, walking next to you.

'You moving back to town?'

'No, just visiting for the summer.'

‘Are your parents still religious nut-jobs?'

You stopped and snapped your head round, in complete shock at the brazenness of his questioning.

'I'll take that as a yes.’ Without taking his eyes off you he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, placed one between his lips and lit it. ‘Guessing you won't be having much fun this summer then.'

'Probably not your kind of fun.' 

He smirked and stepped towards you. ‘Man, you Catholic girls start much too late.’

‘I don’t think I asked for your opinion, James.’ It came out much softer than you anticipated, barely a mumble. Not the kind of back-off-or-else warning you were aiming for. He was really getting under your skin.

'You didn’t, but I’ll give you another.’  

You raised an eyebrow, watching him blow a cloud of smoke out over your head and chuckle at your expression. Against your better judgement, you waited for him to carry on.

‘I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.' He stepped closer again, bringing his lips close to your ear, and whispered. 'Cause the sinners are much more fun.'

---

You dropped the shopping on the counter. The whole way home you hadn’t been able to get James Barnes out of your head, hadn’t been able to stop picturing his smirk or imagining his warm breath tickling your ear. 

You wanted to know more about him, and if anyone had information it'd be your mother. She knew everything about everyone in this godforsaken town. Sitting down for dinner, you seized your opportunity.

'I saw James Barnes at the grocery store today.'

She abruptly dropped her knife and it hit her plate with a sharp clang, making you jump.

'You stay away from that boy.' She punctuated the words by pointing her fork at you. 'He's trouble. Him and his gang.'

You hated the way she spoke to you sometimes, like you were a child. You were in your twenties for fuck’s sake. 

'He seemed nice enough.'

‘That’s how it starts.’ Your father piped up. ‘Before you know it he’s got you hooked on drugs, living in a trailer, pregnant with his deviant child.’ 

And that was the end of that conversation. 

Being away, you’d almost forgotten how messed up your parents were. It was terrifying to think that you used to be just as bad. They had you completely brainwashed before you left for college and, even now, some of their intrusive religious dogma still lingered in your subconscious. 

---

Sunday. The priest was droning on about something but you weren’t concentrating, his dull voice just sounded like a janky old extractor fan whirring behind the altar. You stood, sat, stood, kneeled, sat along with everyone else like sheep being herded, singing and praying whenever prompted. This, every Sunday for ten weeks, was going to be torture.

An hour or so into the service, you felt yourself nodding off. Your shoulders relaxed and your head felt too heavy to be held up by your neck but, just as your eyes started to close, something startled you. Startled the whole congregation. The droning from the altar stopped and heads turned towards the door, where the disturbance was coming from. 

It sounded like a shuddering motorbike engine. Then another joined. In a couple of seconds the entire church was filled with an echoing cacophony of backfiring engines. 

Someone at the back stood up and ran to the door. There was some shouting and laughing, but the noise eventually moved away, fading into the distance. Looking around, you saw a sea of indignant and sour faces. The tension hovering in the air was palpable.

‘And that,’ your mother hissed through clenched teeth, ‘is why you don’t go near James Barnes and his friends.’

You had to suck in your cheeks to smother your laughter, nodding insincerely at her words. James’ voice echoed in your head…

The sinners are much more fun.

---

A couple days later, one of your old friends invited you to a house party- or ‘board game night’ as you told your parents. Parties were usually a little out of your comfort zone, but you’d do anything to get out of their house for an evening. 

Wandering from room to room, you checked if there was anyone else there you recognised. Nope. You skulked to the kitchen and opened a can of diet coke. 

There was a hard tap on your shoulder and you turned to see James Barnes’ wide smile.

‘Hey there.’

‘Hi James.’ You muttered, taking a sip of your drink. ‘I heard your little stunt outside the church last week. You make a habit of that?’

‘Nope. Just thought it’d be nice to welcome you home.’ 

Interesting. That whole thing was for you? Your stomach started to flutter with excitement despite part of your brain screaming that he was probably just mocking you, flirting with you for a bet. To save any potential embarrassment, you went on the defensive. 

‘Gee, thanks. Are you and your friends always that obnoxious James?’

‘Ah y’know.’ He leant against the counter, folding his arms, still grinning at you. ‘We might be laughing a bit too loud, but that never hurt no one.’

You raised an eyebrow, feigning disinterest and doing everything you could to keep a lid on how excited his deep chuckles were making you. He bit his lip and your heart felt like it was going to leap out of your chest. 

‘And call me Bucky.’ He pushed himself off the counter, disappearing into the crowd.

Hours passed and you eventually realised that you weren’t really having a great time. Everyone around you was borderline hammered but you knew if your parents got a whiff of alcohol you’d be locked inside all summer, so you were stone-cold. 

You snuck out the back door, swiftly sliding it shut. Focusing more on what was happening behind you than in front, you managed to unceremoniously trample over someone’s feet. 

James, of course it was. Brilliant. 

He was leant against the wall, finishing off a cigarette. Chuckling, he held out the pack to you, but you shook your head. 

‘Leaving so soon?’ He grunted.

‘Yeah, not really my scene.’

‘Same here. Want to go somewhere else?’ Your heart stuttered at his question. You struggled to form a reply, gazing at him wide-eyed. He smirked and looked away. 'It’s alright, I know the deal. Your mother told you all I could give you was a reputation, right?'

You couldn’t hold back your excited smile anymore and his eyes lit up when he saw it. Shrugging faintly, your mind scurried around trying to find something witty and attractive to say. He dropped his cigarette butt and crushed it under his boot before slowly approaching you. Stopping a couple inches away, he smirked down at your dazed expression.

‘Come out with me tomorrow.’

---

You told your mother that you were having a day at the local library. You weren’t necessarily lying- you had no idea what Bucky had in mind, so anything was a possibility. 

He was waiting by the monument in the town centre, like he’d said yesterday. 

‘So,’ you said, prompting him to turn towards you and smile, ‘what are we doing?’

He held his elbow out and you snaked your hand through it. 

‘You’ll see.’

Much to your surprise, he took you to the fair. You wandered around, hand enclosed in his, talking and laughing for hours. He bought you a hot dog and spent ages trying to win you a stuffed giraffe, but his aim wasn’t great. You couldn’t hold back your laughter after he missed for the fourth time, so he picked you up, swung you around and shouted that he was going to sell you to the carnival. 

When both of you were tired and full, he walked you to the park, pulling you down next to him on a bench and wrapping his arm tight around your waist.

‘Thanks Bucky.’ You said faintly.

‘For what?’

‘Didn’t think I’d be having much fun this summer, but I had a really nice time.’

He smirked and scooched even closer to you, his firm thigh pressed against yours and his thumb gently stroking your hip. There was a comfortable silence for a few seconds before he muttered to himself.

‘It ain’t right.’

‘What?’

He sighed, brushing his chin against your hair. ‘Your parents. Catholics, man- they just built you a temple and locked you away. You’ve barely lived.’

‘It’s not all bad.’ You whispered, relaxing your head against his shoulder and angling your face up towards his. 

‘Maybe.’ Adjusting himself, he turned towards you and put his free hand under your chin. ‘But that stained-glass never really lets in the sun.’

He pressed his lips against yours. Your stomach flipped. His hand moved from your chin to cradle the side of your neck and his thumb brushed softly across your cheek. He pressed towards you more firmly, sliding his tongue along your lips. He tasted like cigarettes and candy floss. Your knees tensed and your thighs started shaking. He must’ve noticed, because you felt a deep chuckle vibrating into your mouth, but that only made it worse. You melted into him, just about steadying yourself by gripping the lapels of his jacket. 

He pulled away, letting your head fall into the crook of his neck, keeping a tight grip on your waist. 

‘Not bad for a church girl.’

---

‘What is this?!’ Your mother burst into your room, looking horrified and holding her phone out in front of her.

You squinted at the screen, it was a photo. You and Bucky holding hands at the fair. Shit.

‘Where did you get that?’ You muttered.

‘Angela sent it to me. She saw you there, with him.’

You stood from your bed, ready to plead with her. ‘Look, he’s a nice guy, he’s-’ 

‘He is a criminal. And if you think you’re seeing him again, you’re wrong.’ She turned and started to storm away. 

You felt anger bubbling inside, nothing like you’d ever felt before. Everything Bucky had said, his anger at your parents- he was right. You’d thought about it before, of course you had, but all you’d ever felt was a kind of defeated acceptance. Now, you were pissed.  

‘I am not a fucking child.’ You screamed.

She jerked to a stop. Slowly twisting round, you saw her face was filled with venom. ‘We’ll speak again when you’re ready to apologise.’ She hissed, slamming your door behind her. You heard it lock.

Wow, that felt good. Really good. You flopped down onto your bed. Your head was spinning but you were grinning to yourself, still half in disbelief. You’d never stood up to her like that before and you were starting to regret not doing it sooner. 

Your phone started buzzing- Bucky.

‘Hi.’ You sighed into it.

‘Come to the window.’

Your gaze darted to the far end of your room and you fumbled off your bed. After briefly scanning the skyline, your eyes flickered down to the backyard lawn. Bucky was standing underneath your window, holding his phone to his ear, beaming up at you.

‘Came to ask if you wanted to come out, figured I probably shouldn’t knock on the front door.’

‘So you break into the garden?’ You chuckled.

He shrugged and flung his free arm out. ‘It’s romantic.’

‘Sure is.’ You grinned down at him before remembering where you were. ‘I can’t Buck. One of my mother’s friends saw us together yesterday. I’m locked in.’

‘Man, you’re living with psychopaths.’ You nodded and gave him a disheartened smile. ‘Look, I know they’re your parents, but you really don’t owe them anything. Especially after everything they’ve done.’

His words echoed around in your head, slowly becoming more convincing as you considered them. Before you could respond, the light from the room below you switched on and Bucky was immediately illuminated with bright yellow light. Without missing a beat, he sprinted towards the fence and vaulted into next door’s garden. You heard a breathy ‘I’ll see you soon babe’ through the phone before he hung up.  

Your father ran out of the back door, pretty quickly deciding not to give chase. He looked up at you with anger in his eyes but you didn’t waver. You were already locked in your room for the foreseeable future, what else could he possibly do?

---

He could force you to clean all the floors in the house on your hands and knees, apparently. Scrubbing for hours and hours with him watching over you like a hawk. Your parents had pretty swiftly gone from strict but harmless religious zealots to borderline prison wardens. As soon as he left the room, you pulled your phone out and hammered out a message to Bucky. 

Will you come get me? I need out.

You stared at your screen, willing him to reply before your father came back. After what felt like ages, it finally buzzed.

On my way. Pack a bag.

You jumped up from the floor and sprinted up the stairs to your room, grabbing handfuls of whatever you could reach and shoving it into your backpack. You heard your father scurrying around on the ground floor before stomping up the stairs, shouting your name. Before he made it to your room, the faint rumble of a motorbike engine started in the distance and your heart jumped.

Running into the hallway, you pushed past your father without even looking up at him and scrambled down the stairs. You pulled the front door open and a wall of fresh air hit you, allowing you to take your first clean, deep breath of the day. Since you woke up all you’d been doing was huffing floor-cleaning chemicals.

Bucky came round the corner on his bike and you almost felt like bursting into tears. Waves of relief passed through every muscle in your body and you ran down the front steps to meet him.

You leapt on to the back of his bike, still in your pyjamas, and wrapped your arms around his waist as tight as you could. It felt like you were running entirely on adrenaline. Your parents were screaming your name behind you, but they were quickly drowned out by the roaring of the motorbike coming back to life. 

‘Shit, I’m not exactly dressed for a ride.’ You mumbled into his ear through your heavy breaths. ‘Don’t even have a helmet.’

You felt him vibrate with laughter as he gunned the engine and sped away.

‘Ah, don’t worry, you’ll be fine darlin.’ He raised his arm and flipped off your parents. ‘Only the good die young.’

---

Part Two

---

[resident-leevil-old]

RCW's RE8 Continuity

Raccoon City Winters: Village [1]

In the re8 continuity, I'd say the Winters family were even closer than they were in canon (even if only possible by a smidge).

In the three years that have passed since the Bakers Incident, Eveline's aging process had been permanently stabilized and she had started to age normally. She'd also became accustomed to the regular outside world, and spends any time she can outside.

Ethan and Mia both started going to therapy again, as the whole incident reminded them both of the events that happened in Raccoon City back when they were kids. Kyde and Zoe stay in frequent contact with them, and it becomes a bi-weekly thing for all of them to video call each other to catch up with each other.

Chris occasionally visits from time to time, disguising his visits as "mandatory check-ups" but in reality he just wants to see how well they're doing. Things are alright for a long time.

And then a baby is born! Eveline is ecstatic to have a younger sister, she calls out possible names like rapid fire. Ethan and Mia have bought so many things that are probably unnecessary but they won't risk a thing. They settle on the name Rosemary.

-

Mia realized. 3 years and 6 months later, she realized. She'd not noticed the difference, Ethan was always this way- how could she have noticed? The signs were way too similar to how they'd ben before.

This time- no, this time she wouldn't hide it from him. She tells him Monday. He doesn't react, Mia figures its best to give him time.

Tuesday, he forgets, looks at Mia in confusion when she asks him how he felt now.

Wednesday, he sits in the greenhouse with Rose for the entire day and only moves to feed her, then headed back to the greenhouse.

Thursday, Mia tries to tell him again, but she stumbles and begins to cry because she doesn't know why its so hard. He holds her in his arms until she cried herself to sleep.

Friday, Ethan lets her sleep, realizing she'd been stressed though not knowing what. He doesn't let her work herself too much, insists she just rested for the entire day. Mia sighs, and she does.

Saturday, she tried again. It's Rose's birthday, but she knew she couldn't stall this anymore or she'd stop trying. Ethan tells her a doctor wanted to see Rose soon, and Mia swore she tried to tell him. The words were right there and then-

"The only thing that matters is you and the kids."

It reminded Mia too much, of the Bakers situation, of Eveline when she was smaller, of Eveline telling her that she would happily die if it meant she got to spend time with her. Ethan gets a call from work, and Mia cursed herself for fucking it all up again.

She writes a note saying she'd gone to the store to buy some things. She hadn't planned to, but it was all that came to mind. Anything to get her out of the house so she could stop fucking up.

Mia Winters writes on the note that she will be back. Mia Winters never returned.

-

Ethan hoped he hadn't made Mia too upset. She'd told him before what Eveline had said to her so many years ago, and what did he do? Show nearly the exact same lack of care for himself.

He hangs up the call, heads downstairs to talk to Mia. Eveline tells him she left a note, went to the store. There's guilt he feels, heavy in his chest. She was upset, he knew it. Mia didn't leave like that unless she was upset.

Eveline tells him not to worry about it, Mom will be back soon and you two can talk it all out. Ethan only sat there and nodded, as Eveline made her way up the stairs.

He doesn't realize he never said anything to Eveline.

-

Mom was home!

Eveline smiled as Mom walked through the door with a few bags in her hands. Eveline called out "Mom's back!," took the bags herself (after convincing Mom she could hold them all) and went on to the kitchen with them. Dad, like an overgrown puppy, poked his head out from around the corner and went to talk to her.

Eveline forced herself not to listen in. Or, well, she tuned in to another channel, at the very least (it was the only way she could avoid eavesdropping on them). She puts the groceries in the fridge, purposefully takes a long time in order to keep herself distracted while the potted plants in the kitchen windowsill whisper incoherent things.

The last thing Eveline picked out of the bags was a bottle of wine. There was a distinct smell coming from the wine, one that reminded her of-

It smelled like blood. It smelled like blood? That was weird. This was weird. Eveline puts the wine away, but the smell remains in the back of her mind.

-

From his place on the floor next to Mia's legs, Ethan looked up at her and listened as she told a story that outright gave him chills. He tells her so, when she finished the book, but she only laughs quietly while Eveline gives a "review" in how the story wasn't that scary. She gives him Rose as a timer in the kitchen goes off, tells him to put the kids to bed for the night.

Ethan herds Eveline along, despite her protests of not being that tired. He puts Rose in her crib, and tucks Eveline in bed. His sits with the two of them for a few minutes, smiling as Eveline tried to give every excuse under the book to convince him to let her stay up. Eventually Mia calls him down, and so he says goodnight to both of his daughters, and heads back downstairs, where Mia had been cooking in the kitchen.

-

Eveline heard the sound of gunshots from downstairs merely moments after she felt the creature, and she scrambled out of her bed far too late to stop anything from happening. She hears shouting, as she moved over to pick Rose out of her crib, holding her little sister the way she'd been taught- she remembered- as she cried loudly, frightened by the sudden loud noises.

Eveline tried to calm her, and just as she did so, there's someone in her room- BSAA, a soldier who worked for them, holding a gun. He said something Eveline couldn't quite hear in her startled and confused state.

The soldier reached for Rose- Eveline's face twisted into protective anger. She warns the man to stay away from her sister, tells him not to touch her. He says something again, and before Eveline could react, Rose is pulled from her arms and Eveline fell to the ground. Her vision slowly faded to black as she laid on her side, staring at a needle that'd been sticking out of her arm. She looked away, her eyes staring open long enough to see Rose being taken away and someone else coming over to pick her up..

-

"The packages have been secured, sir."

The words feel like venom in Ethan's ears. He turned his head towards the sound of the voice and his heart dropped.

they had his daughters that had his kids why do they what do they want rose eveline my kids they have my kids tjey have my kids they have my kids-

Ethan panics. Of course he does, his children are in danger, and his wife- Mia, she's- His head hurts, and he can barely hear anything while his ears ring as he hyperfocused on the two soldiers each carrying one of his daughters and for a split second he feels like he's becoming disconnected with his own body and-

When he opened his eyes again, he'd been laying face first in snow. Beside him was a truck that was flipped over, the back door completely ripped off. He laid there, on the ground, his vision blurry and ears ringing. Someone's moving his arm.

Eveline.

It's Eveline.

Ethan pushed himself up off of the ground, taking a moment to balance himself. Eveline slowly stands with him, leaning against him as she held her left arm. She tells him a phone rang, that she answered it, but it cut out after a moment. Rose is gone, and Eveline isn't sure where she's been taken.

He tells her not to worry, before looking around them, hoping there was something that could help. He notices footprints leading towards the path filled with trees.

Unsure of where else to go, Ethan takes a deep breath, takes a hold of his daughter's hand, and told her they'd have to follow the footprints. She nods, visibly too unenergized to protest just how bad an idea that could be, and holds onto his hand tightly.

Together, the both of them walk forward slowly in silence, only sound being the snow of snow crunching underneath their feet.

[aquietwritingcorner]

Sicktember Day 11: Bed Rest Word Count: 2536 Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl Rating: K/G Characters: Denny Brosh, Denny’s siblings, Maria Ross Warning: Summary: Denny was injured in an incident at work, and is put on bedrest for a bit. His siblings have to pick up the slack. But Barb, the next oldest, feels the burden most keenly. How does her brother do this? Notes: Some headcanons for this: Denny’s mother died when he was seven. His father remarried when he was nine to a very lovely woman who loved Denny. When he was ten, his oldest sister was born. Other siblings followed. Approximately a year after the youngest brother was born, both his dad and his stepmom were killed in an accident. Denny was about 24 when this happened, already graduated from the academy. He assumed responsibility for his siblings and is working hard to support them. His siblings are as follows: Barbara (Barb) 15; Caitlyn, 12; The twins, Ainsley and Benjamin (Benji), 6; Fredrick (Freddy), 2 AO3 || ff.net

 _____________________________

Bed Rest

“Family of Denny Brosh.”

Barb Brosh shot up out of her seat, handing off Freddy to Caitlyn. She had been holding on to him, trying not to show how anxious she was to her younger brothers and sisters. She knew that Denny’s job had risks, and logically she knew that him getting seriously injured or even killed was a possibility, but she had still never expected something like this.

“Keep an eye on the kids,” she said to Caitlyn. She looked at Ainsley and Benji, the twins unusually serious. “Behave.”

They nodded, Barb looked up at Lieutenant Ross, who gave her an encouraging smile, and the two of them headed towards the doctor that had called for them.

“I-I’m Barbara Brosh, Barb, I’m his sister,” she said.

The doctor looked at Lieutenant Ross for confirmation, and then offered his hand to Barb. “I’m Dr. Lee. Why don’t you come with me, and we’ll discuss your brother’s condition and treatment?” He gestured for them to follow him.

Barb nodded, and she and the Lieutenant followed Dr. Lee. He took them to a small room, an office, and closed the door behind them. He gestured to the chairs and, nervously, Barb sat down. Lieutenant Ross sat in the one next to her, Dr. Lee coming around to sit behind the desk.

“First off, let me assure you that your brother is alive, and that, with the proper care, he should make a full recovery.”

Barb gave him a relieved smile but tucked away that “should” for later.

“Sergeant Brosh suffered an injury to his neck and spinal cord when he was thrown back by the explosion he experienced. It caused some swelling, and there are a few small fractures that aren’t of much concern. We’re going to keep him here for a week for observation and re-evaluate the plan after that. The current plan is to send him home on bedrest with regular appointments to see how he is healing.”

“But he’s okay? He’ll be able to walk and move and talk normally, eventually?” Barb asked. She had her hands tightly laced together, trying to keep from wringing them in worry.

The doctor smiled at her. “Yes, he should be able to. We’ll go over his care plan in more detail right before he goes home, to make sure you understand what’s needed.”

“Yes, yes of course,” Barb said.

Lieutenant Ross smiled at her. “Don’t worry. I’ll come around to help. You won’t be alone in this.”

Barb nodded at her, too worried to return the smile. “Can we see him now?” she asked the doctor. “We—that is, our other brothers and sisters and I—we’re all worried about Denny.”

The doctor nodded. “Yes. I’ll get a nurse to take you and go over the rules with you.”

Barb and Lieutenant Ross walked back to the waiting room where the other kids were waiting, a nurse walking with them, explaining things as they walked. When they arrived, Barb reached out and took Freddy from Caitlyn and explained very seriously to all of them that they were going to get to see Denny, but that he was still hurt and the doctors said that he had to hold very still, so that mean that he might not be able to look down to see them.

None of the others objected.

They all trooped together to Denny’s room, a solemn troop, Lieutenant Ross with them. Denny was laying in a bed, and he looked awful. Barb felt her heart pounding. Still, she remained as calm as she could. He was scraped and banged up, with stitches and cuts and burns, and pale. Still, when he saw them, he mustered up a smile for them, trying his best to be as reassuring as possible even when the doctors weren’t allowing him to move. He reassured the little one, and acted as much like himself as he could. They weren’t allowed to stay long, and before Barb was ready, they were being escorted from the room. Barb glanced back, and saw Denny sag more into the bed, as if their visit had taken a lot out of him. She bit her lip, but continued on. Lieutenant Ross went with them, even giving them a drive home and asking if they would be alright. Barb reassured her that they would, bid the Lieutenant a good night, and then sat about getting the kids ready for bed.

But in her head, the whole way from the hospital until she went to bed that night, the words “I’m responsible. I’m responsible. I’m responsible,” echoed in her mind as she felt the weight of the responsibility of their siblings fall unexpectedly onto her shoulders.

A week later, Barb had her younger siblings sitting down in front of her. Denny was being brought home by Lieutenant Ross and Major Armstrong today, and they had all worked hard to clean up the house. Barb had Denny’s care plan pinned to the fridge with magnets. But she still needed to make sure that they understood what was about to happen.

“Okay. I need you to listen. Today Denny is coming home. But he’s not well yet. He’s still going to need a lot of rest. The doctor said that his back and neck are healing just fine, but that he still wants Denny on bed rest. That means that we have to be careful with him. So—no jumping on Big Bro. No jumping on his bed or demanding his help with anything. Don’t bother him and let him rest. Don’t ask him to sit up and do things. If he needs help, then we’re going to have to help him. We’re going to have to take care of everything around here until he’s better. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Big Sis,” they echoed, and she sure hoped that they did.

It wasn’t much later that Benji came racing down the hall. “They’re here, they’re here!” he said, and raced towards the front door. The others came rushing in as well.

“Watch out, Benji!” Barb snapped out. “Remember we need to be careful with Big Brother.”

Benji slowed down and nodded, but he still headed towards the door. Barb followed closely behind him, and the others appeared as well, all of them anxious for Denny to arrive back home. When they were close, Barb opened the door, a smile on her face to greet her big brother.

Denny was being escorted up to the door, Lieutenant Ross supporting him as he walked. He looked up at the door, and smiled at all of them, although Barb could tell that he was still tired and in pain. He still had fading bruises and healing cuts, and he wasn’t walking quite right, but he still put on a big smile for all of them.

“Hey, guys!” he said, as cheerfully as he could manage.

“Welcome home, Big Brother!” Caitlyn said as she balanced Freddy on her hip.

“It’s good to be home,” he said, giving them a more gentle smile.

“Come on, let’s get you to your bed,” Lieutenant Ross said.

“We got things as cleaned up as we could,” Barb said. “And we moved a bed downstairs for you.”

“Yeah?” he said. “You all worked so hard. Thank you.”

“It’s, um, it’s this way!” Caitlyn said, stepping back to show them the small area they had put a bed in. It was little more than a closet, but they had managed to put some of his clothes in there and it was closer to the bathroom and the kitchen.

“Where shall I put these?”

Barb looked up and saw a humongous man, one she had met once before at the hospital, Major Armstrong. She ignored the open-mouthed look of surprise that Benji had for their brother’s commanding officer.

“This way,” she said, gesturing. “Most of his stuff is still in his room. This set up is just temporary.”

“Of course,” Major Armstrong said.

“Ainsley,” Barb said. “Will you show Major Armstrong where Denny’s room is, so he can put the suitcase in there?”

Ainsley had come to stand beside Benji, but she nodded, and took Benji’s hand in hers. “Uh-huh,” she said and tugged Benji along. Major Armstrong followed them, and Barb went back to where Denny was getting settled into the bed.

“Remember what the doctor said,” Lieutenant Ross was saying.

“I know,” he replied. “Only get up when necessary, and even then, limit movements.”

“Right.” Barb could see Lieutenant Ross smile at him. “I want my partner back at work soon.”

“As soon as I’m able, Lieutenant,” Denny promised.

It wasn’t long afterwards that Major Armstrong and Lieutenant Ross left, after unloading more things like groceries and home goods for them. Barb breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully now that Denny was home, the worst was behind them, and Denny could heal up and things could go back to normal.

However, she quickly discovered that, that was not the case.

They were, unfortunately, all too used to relying on Denny. And Denny was far too used to doing things. Over the next week she had to fuss at her brothers and sisters for asking Denny to do too much, for forgetting to help Denny, or for being too rough with Denny. She also had to remind Denny that he didn’t have to get up to do things, that fixing a sippy cup was not a “necessary reason” to be up, and that getting the laundry on the way back from the bathroom did not count as rest. Barb took on all of the responsibilities of keeping the house and taking care of the others. She wanted to stay home during the day, but Denny insisted that she go to school.

“You’re so smart, Barbie,” he said to her from the bed. “You don’t need to waste your time babysitting me. You need to be in school.”

She had acquiesced, at least until she had come back one day and found him in the kitchen floor in pain, although he tried to downplay it. She had panicked, called Lieutenant Ross, who had come over. They had gotten him looked at, and the doctors determined that he was not healing as quickly as they had hoped. When he confessed to not resting as much as he needed to (and Barb told on him) Lieutenant Ross fussed at him.

From then on, Barb worked twice as hard. She took time off from school, although she requested the work so she could keep up with her studies. She forced Denny to stay in bed, watched him like a hawk when he had to be up, got onto the kids for bothering him. Lieutenant Ross dropped by a lot, lending her a hand, and Major Armstrong often sent food to them.

For the next two weeks, Denny was kept on bedrest, and Barb attended to him. The others adjusted well, Ainsley and Benji often coming to sit with Denny—gently—in the evenings, telling him stories about school. Freddy would often nap with Denny, and Caitlyn would talk to him nonstop while she was helping to cook or clean.

Barb found herself growing closer to Denny as well. She hadn’t realized how much of a burden he had carried when their parents had died. Taking care of all of them, trying to provide for them, it was tough. She felt like she was always going and never had time to rest. It made her grouchy and exhausted, and the last thing she wanted to do was smile. She wanted to sit down and cry more often than not.

Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed by Denny.

“You need to rest as well,” Denny said to her one night when she was sweeping the floor.

“There’s still so much to do,” she said, pausing to lean on the broom and look around the house. “Dishes to be washed and laundry to be done. The house is a mess and I don’t have a clue if the kids have been keeping up with their homework. Freddy will probably wake up soon and want someone to come to him. And I think Lieutenant Ross is coming by tomorrow.

Denny just shook his head and held his arm out to her. “Come here.” He said, smiling at her.

Barb wavered for a moment, and then made her way over, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

“It’s okay to rest,” he said sincerely. “ You can’t do everything. You’re working so hard and I’m so proud of you, but it’s okay to rest.”

Barb wavered. “How do you do it?” she asked him, letting the tiredness creep into her voice. “How do you do it all, Denny? You take care of us, you go to work—but you’re always smiling, always happy, always ready to spend time with us. How do you do it all Denny?”

He curled his arm around her, pulling her closer. Barb gave in and did as she had when she was little and she had thought that the monsters under bed were after her—she curled up next to him, being careful not to jostle him. His arm tightened around her.

“…I just did what I had to,” he said. “What I have to. Sometimes life’s just like that, and you learn to prioritize what’s important. Taking care of all of you, providing for all of you, spending time with all of you, that was more important to me than trying to go to the next rank or get further schooling, or worrying that the house is always picked up.”

“…I was so scared,” Barb said. “I was so scared then, but you kept us all together. But when you got hurt, I…I…” she felt herself tearing up, and she buried her face in his shoulder. “Please, Denny, be careful! Please take care of yourself! I don’t know what we’d do without you!”

“Hey, hey, Barbie, it’s okay. I’m still here. And believe me, that was way more than I’m usually involved in. And I promise—I’ll do my best to heal up well. I’m not going to just leave you behind, alright? None of you.”

Barb nodded, taking comfort in her brother’s words. She knew that he couldn’t promise to not to die or to stay out of danger, but he could promise to do the best that he could.

“Rest, Barb,” Denny said. “You need it. Tomorrow’s a new day, and it’ll come whether the house is clean or messy or if Benji hid his homework or not. Right now you just need to rest.”

She was exhausted, and she felt safe in her big brother’s arms. Almost without realizing it Barb fell asleep, her brother’s words bringing her comfort and hope.

Tomorrow was a new day. And Denny would be alright. Barb could make it through this. And once Denny was back on his feet and things were back to normal, Barb would definitely appreciate everything that Denny did for them more than she had before.

Maybe one day she could smile like him too—smile no matter what was happening. She’d like that. And he would too.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating (Young)Vito Corleone

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- You met Vito after he started working at the Abbandando families grocery store. You hadn’t noticed him at first; mainly dealing with the owner at the front counter or occasionally his son, but boy did Vito notice you. 

- He was immediately enamored with you, falling head over heels in an instant. He’d spy on you behind shelves and take out the trash before you left so that he could watch you walk down the busy Bronx streets. He was in love, there was no doubt about that. 

- Only once before did he have enough nerve to approach you. You’d come in one day, busying yourself with looking through their fruit and trying to pick out the best ones. He’d gone back and forth on whether he should before finally slinking over to you and picking up the best of the bunch. He handed it to you while softly explaining how to tell when that particular fruit was ripe. 

- He spent the next minute or so helping you find perfect fruit which was, self-admittedly, the highlight of his day. He’d never look at picking out food the same way again. 

- You began to say hello to him every time you visited the shop. The little action brought a smile to his face and butterflies to his stomach. You soon considered him a bit of an acquaintance; someone you weren't close to but were on friendly terms with. 

- By default, he began to learn your schedule; when you’d come in, how long you’d usually stay, etc. Once he felt he had it down pat, he organized it so that he would be the one at the counter when you checked out. 

- Everything worked according to plan; the two of you made light small talk and he rang you up without a hitch. He was so close to asking if you’d be his... but then he lost his nerve, unsure of what to say or if he should even try. 

- In his head he was a nobody, hardly a dollar to his name and nothing he could give you besides his love and promises to provide for you no matter what. Why would you want him when you could have any man in town? ...And yet, he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t try. 

- So the next time you came in, he took a deep breath and made sure he was once again the one to serve you. He began to ring you up before he paused, looking up at you, then down at your purchases, then back at you before suddenly calling you beautiful. 

 - The genuine smile you gave him provided him with enough courage to continue. He told you how he thought you were the most amazing woman he’s ever met before asking if you’d accompany him to the opera. You agreed and he gave you a handsome smile, handing you your bag of groceries. 

- He arrived at your house the next day, respectfully introducing himself to your parents and asking their permission to take you out. Let’s just say he made a good first impression and you were ushered out the door with him by your pleased mother. 

- You spent the next two or so hours sitting beside him in an opera house, captivated by the show in front of you while he spent most of the time watching your face. He tentatively slid his hand into yours halfway through the show, biting back a smile when you gave his hand a squeeze. 

- You had your first kiss after two weeks of courting each other. He’d persuaded you to join him on one of the roofs in your town and was watching lovingly as you gushed about the view below you. The two of you sat up there for a while before he softly pulled you towards him and pressed his lips to yours. 

- The two of you have been together ever since. 

- There isn’t a ton of pda in your relationship, he tends to save his affections for when you’re behind closed doors. His usually just offers you his arm while you walk, keeps a hand on your back while he stands beside you, and occasionally plants a kiss on your cheek. 

- Little meaningful gifts. 

- He mainly shows his appreciation for you in his actions. A kiss on the cheek, a tight hug, a visit to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. He may not always use his words to thank you but you never feel as though he isn’t grateful. 

- Slow dancing in the kitchen. 

- Delicate kisses. 

- Tight hugs. Sometimes a person just needs to be squeezed by another person and I think that's beautiful.

- Feeding each other. He mainly does it to you but he thinks it’s cute when you do the same to him. 

- Without fail, everyday he’ll come home with some kind of fresh fruit.

- He’s incredibly understanding, especially when it comes to you. He’ll never blame you for something you can’t control or an accident. 

- Vito’s spent a lot of his life alone so he craves your affection and attention. Any touch you give him sends a wave of; innocent, pleasure through his entire body.

- Sometimes he just really needs a kiss or hug. He won’t say anything to you, he’ll just watch you for a moment before softly pulling you into one. It’s especially common when he has a bad day so you’ll often be more soft with him than usual. 

- He’s ruthless when it comes to getting you what you want or need. Before he became the godfather, he would do whatever it took to put food on the table or make your life more comfortable. 

- Vito’s incredibly protective, he’s prepared to do whatever it takes to keep you safe. 

- If you’re ever sick just know that he’s going to be watching over you like a hawk, asking if you’re alright every other minute and checking your forehead. He doesn’t even leave you alone with the doctor, insisting that he, at least, stay in the doorway while he gives you a check up. 

- Even though he may carry himself like a fierce businessman, he’s really a big softie at heart. He won’t admit it but he’s a big pushover. 

- He holds you like he’s afraid to lose you. Whenever you’re curled up in bed together, he’ll wrap his arms tight around you; occasionally laying his head on your chest to listen to your heartbeat. 

- He uses mainly Sicilian pet names but has been known to drop a few darlings, doves, and angels. 

- Cheek kisses and forehead kisses. His eyelids flutter shut each time you near his face; you find it quite adorable. 

- Dates on roofs. He’ll carry up a blanket and the two of you will sit snuggled into each others sides.

- If you’re a little more scared of heights then he’ll probably just try to impress you with his roof walking, following you on the tops of buildings as you walk through the streets, looking down at you with a smile while you laugh and call him crazy. 

- Sitting by the fire together in the winter, usually with a book in your hands. He likes to wrap his arms around you and read over your shoulder. 

- He pretty much just tolerates whatever you do to him; messing with his hair, playing with his hands, poking him, etc. He doesn’t have the heart to get annoyed at you, not when you give him such a cute smile. 

- He’s always willing to fix; or try to fix, whatever broken. You’ve spent quite a few hours watching him work on something in just his undershirt. Oh what wonderful hours. 

- Greeting him with a smile and kiss when he comes home. You don’t know how much it means to him. 

- Proudly standing beside him while he opens his shop. 

- Getting greeted in the street and treated kindly just for being with him. You’re often given little gifts when attempting to buy anything. 

- He pulls you into a hug whenever he kisses you. He likes having you pressed close against him. 

- Helping him get dressed, or undressed depending on the time of day... or the mood. 

- You sit with each other in the bathroom while the other baths, shaves or does their hair. It’s honestly where you do most of your talking. 

- Getting portraits done/pictures taken of the two of you. 

- Going to the theater. 

- Watching parades and festivals together.

- Sitting on his lap. He’s very fond of it, always wrapping his arms around you and snuggling into you, resting his chin on your shoulder. 

- He’s incredibly gentle with you, his voice and touch always soft. The roughest he’s ever been with you was yanking you into his arms and placing a hard kiss on your lips. You certainly didn’t mind.

- Jealousy isn’t a huge problem for him but he will occasionally get that ugly feeling inside him. He knows that when people are flirting with or admiring you they usually don’t know who he is or that you’re together. He gives them the benefit of the doubt, acting friendly; or at least civil, as he interrupts the two of you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. He feels this guilty pleasure when their eyes widen in understanding and fear. 

- He tends to just stay quiet when things aren’t going well, not wanting to worry you unnecessarily. He feels the need to bear the burden when it comes to stress. 

- Giving him a smile and a few optimistic words after a rough day. Even when things are worse than they've ever been, that little show of acceptance and lack of criticism is able to make him feel so much better. 

- It’s because you loved him while he had nothing that he feels the need to spoil you when he does have something. Anything you ask for; anything at all, will be yours, though you often don’t ask for much. 

- You don’t fight, you just... don’t.  Vito’s pretty much the perfect boyfriend/husband; not taking into consideration the whole “killer mobster” part of him, but that doesn’t really concern you most of the time. 

- He gives you an amused look when people are fearful of him; their nervousness is almost surprising yet funny at the same time. He gives you a kiss when they leave, almost to prove that he’s still the same man you fell in love with. 

- He tells you he loves you quite often. He never wants you to forget it. 

- Staying by his side through thick and thin. You love him for him, no matter the money, no matter the power. 

- The two of you get married pretty early on in your relationship. It was the 1910′s and him; a traditional Sicilian who was completely in love with you, would want to do things the old fashioned way. 

- He’s incredibly excited to start a family with you; it’s one of, if not the thing he wants most in life. If it wasn’t obvious enough, he’s an amazing father and wonderful husband. The two of you have a long and loving future ahead of you. 

[criminalminds4days]

Family Matters | Chapter 5: Emily's Intervention

Hello people of tumblr!!

I hope all of you had an excellent New Year's! I got so trashed that it lasted until yesterday 🤣 I guess that makes sense considering how horrible 2020 was.

Anyway, I hope all of you had a great time and that 2021 becomes a good year for you all. Because I will be spending a lot of time with family until the 11th of this month, I have decided that I will take January to write as many chapters as possible and I will return to posting in February!

Also, I have posted the story on Wattpad, and I will be updating simultaneously.

With all that said, I hope you all enjoy chapter 5 of Family Matters 🎉🎉

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 3.2k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog

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(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 5: Emily’s Intervention

The importance of the following couple of days is the only reason our story will address them. Understanding the events that occurred is vital for the upcoming chapters that our favorite agents will face.

The following questions needed an answer:

What did Emily and Spencer talk about?

Why was Spencer so upset?

And perhaps, the most important, why was Emily at Spencer's apartment with Hunger Games Pajamas?

Well, let us do a quick rewind before we move on to the consequences of the visit of Tyler Hemingway and the answers to the questions above.

Emily opened the door to his room, a very surprised Derek and Spencer observed her. She didn't say a word until she was right in front of the two men, taking a few seconds to observe their reactions, making sure it was known she didn't come in a friendly mood.

"You, out." She said to the dark-skinned man, with no emotion, and a serious face as she pointed to the door.

"Excuse me? Emily this is my room, I don't know what-"

"I said, get out." Her tone was deadly, "now." She didn't raise her voice, but the message was clear.

"I am leaving, but it is definitely not because I am scared of you, it's simply because I have an appointment with a cup of coffee." He stood and walked towards the door, careful to avoid any close contact with her.

"Yeah, let's go." The brunette said, standing up and walking towards the door, only to be stopped by the woman.

"You, sit."

"I am sitting." He returned to the edge of his bed, "and it is definitely because you terrify me."

"Derek, if I find out you're spying on this conversation..."

"It's not like I want to know." He said quickly looking at the doctor one last time, with pity clear in his eyes and he rushed out the door making sure to close it behind him.

The man left in the room gulped before speaking again. "Am I going to die?"

"Not if you listen to me." She sat at the edge of Morgan's bed and her demeanor changed. She seemed more relaxed and even excited. That shift alone had the man planning for ways to run out the door without falling victim to Emily Prentiss. "Now, Spencie-"

"Please don't call me that."

"Fine, Baby genius." She smiled at him, in a slightly more terrifying manner than her demeanor when she arrived. "We need to talk about the situation that occurred during our drive to the hospital."

"What is there to talk about?"

"Can you explain to me, honey, why you are upset with our friend?"

"Please don't call me honey, it's somehow worse than Spencie."

"Answer. My. Question."

"I already told you guys, I'm upset that she's letting this guy walk all over her."

"See, I can't believe that, because you stated that part of the reason for your anger was that you still came after this Tyler character, so please tell me, what's that about?"

"She left me behind, remember? She didn't pick me up." He said as he played with his hands. Jumping out the window wasn't sounding so bad, even if they were on the third floor. If he calculated correctly, he could probably survive it.

"And that's all?" He nodded, and she sighed, clearly frustrated. "Let me try a different approach."

"I'm scared." He mumbled.

"Spencer Reid," she began, that smile still on her lips. "Is there anything you don't like about her?"

"Yeah, I mean, for once, she sleeps on the right side of the bed, which is my side, so when I had to sleep in the same bed as her I had to sleep on the left side! The left side Emily!"

"Did she ask you for that?"

"No, of course not. I just kind of did it."

"Okay, what else don't you like?"

"That she's so naive, she believes people always have good intentions, and she's always getting hurt because she doesn't understand that not everyone comes from an honest and good place. I mean she's a profiler and yet she falls for the same tricks over and over again. But that also means she's really empathetic, and nice which I guess is not a down falling but a virtue, so I guess I can't really say I don't like that of her."

"Interesting." Emily's smile turned more genuine. "Now, what are some of the things you like about her."

"I mean, she's a great friend, a reliable agent, and she's so funny. She has similar interests to me, and whenever we hang out there is nothing we can't talk about." A smile appeared on his face as the memories of their time together became clear in his mind. "She has this bright energy around her, and it simply pulls you towards her, I also love her clumsiness, it makes her, well her. I love when she laughs, and I love being around her, and there are these times where she'll rest her head on my shoulders or she'll accidentally brush her hand on mine and I get this feeling, that I have never-" He stopped, looking straight at Emily as he reached the same conclusion as her. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"I like her. Like really like her, don't I?"

"Yes, you do." Emily hugged him, "I am so glad you finally came to terms with it." She let go of him and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Now, what are you gonna do about it?"

"Nothing."

"WHAT?"

"I mean, she obviously doesn't feel the same, and even if she did, you know the rules. I wouldn't want to make her transfer, nor do I want to transfer."

"Spencer, you are seriously going to let the love of your life walk away simply because of your job?"

"I never said she was the love of my life." Emily rolled her eyes, "besides, we're really good friends, and I don't want to ruin that."

"Ugh, you are so dumb for a genius." He wanted to object, but she continued. "This is what we are going to do, you can take the rest of the week, to think about her, and if you two are worth the trouble. Once this case is over, I will go to your apartment and we will discuss the next steps over some glasses of wine. Those are more for me than for you because I'm gonna need a lot of patience." He furrowed his eyebrows but she didn't even register it. "Now, because of your little scene from earlier, you have some space, so use this to your advantage. Make me proud son."

"No, no. Please never call me son again. That was very disturbing."

"Well, then do the right thing." She walked out of the room, and he sat there, wishing Emily had never made him realize how he felt.

Now, ignoring her was torture, because all he could think of was her lips on his, or their hands intertwined, her laughing at something he said as they ate dinner, or watching a movie as they cuddled on her sofa. This was bad, it was a bad thing that was happening right now.

She was his friend, and even then, he still thought she had feelings for her ex-boyfriend. It was a disaster.

"So, what's your conclusion?"

That was the first thing Emily said when he opened the door. She was wearing black pajamas with the Mockingjay symbol from The Hunger Games, her hair was in a ponytail and she had a big reusable grocery bag on her shoulder that seemed full of something he couldn't quite make out, at least until he heard the glass clink and reached a pretty solid conclusion of what was in the bag.

"I need new friends."

She seemed unfazed by his comment and simply moved past him towards his living room. "No, no, please come in. I insist." He mumbled as he closed the door. "What are you doing here?"

"I told you, we need to make a game plan, but we need to hurry, we don't have much time before she arrives."

"Did you invite her?"

"No, but she's on her dinner with Tyler, and if he's as horrible as I think he is, she'll be here in about an hour or so, after realizing he just wanted to have sex with her."

She pulled a wine bottle out of her bag and roomed through his drawers to grab a wine glass and opened the bottle. "I would offer you, but I need you sober tonight."

"That just sounds so wrong."

"Don't worry about it, Doctor. Now, have you thought about your options?"

"I already told you Emily, our friendship and our jobs are not worth risking for some feelings that will most likely fade away."

"Why are smart people so dumb?" She asked no one in particular.

"First of all, that's offensive. Second, we don't know if she feels the same way, and third of all, in the extreme and highly unlikely case in which she did, the probability of us working out would be almost null."

"Spencer, I love you. I really do, but you need to learn how to read social cues. I am almost one-hundred percent sure she likes you, you've both liked each other for longer than you think, and I get it, your jobs are important, but when you decide to leave, what's gonna be waiting for you?"

He remained silent for a couple of minutes taking in her words. She stared at him, as she sipped more and more wine.

"I don't do, relationships really well. What if I lose her and then it all becomes worse?"

"What if you lose her because you're scared to 'do' relationships?"

"I hate it when you're right."

"Now, let's see, how should you tell her? We should make it a grand gesture, but we need to keep it between us." She opened the second bottle as she spoke. "Oh, I'm gonna have to be a third wheel for a really long time, but I guess I can deal with that." She kept drinking. "I am totally gonna officiate the wedding. Also, I think you need to do it soon, maybe when she comes to tell you you were right?"

"Emily, let's calm down for a minute."

"Can we watch Dance Moms?"

"No, I don't even know what that is, but it sounds awful."

"It's so good. The kids are so talented." She sighed, as if somehow proud of said kids. "Anyway, going back to your love life." She began once again and he simply tried to not scream.

A drunk Prentiss continued to increase the level of alcohol in her system while simultaneously rambling about the beautiful life they would have together. He hadn't said a word in what seemed to be an hour, but that didn't stop her, she kept speaking of possible destination weddings and how she needed to be the godparent of one of their kids, even if JJ and she had to share because she knew that JJ was Spencer's best friend before any of them had even joined. She also expressed that she had shipped the two of them, but decided against it once JJ had found Will and they had children.

"I told her I was definitely the best friend." She smiled, as the third bottle came empty. Her rambling had returned to Spencer's current crush. "And I am an amazing wing woman. I got Spencer Reid to accept his love."

"I did not say I was in love. I like her, but love is a strong word." He tried to take the bottle from her but she was fast, even under the influence. "You've been talking for almost an hour, and drinking that in record time. I'm a little concerned for you."

"I've just been trying to pass the time."

"Time for what?"

"For the show to begin." She wiggled her eyebrows, as she drank the last bit of wine left. "I'm gonna have to go get more."

"How about we talk about my feelings instead?" That was the last thing he wanted to do, granted it was also the thing she had been doing for the last hour, but if Emily got any more wasted, they were gonna have a problem tomorrow.

She smiled, but before she could try and convince him to propose, there was a knock at the door. "Right on time!" She whispered.

"What?"

"Just go open the door."

He walked towards the door and opened it slightly, only enough to make his figure known. He was so perplexed to see her standing on the other side that he forgot for a moment he was supposedly still upset with her. Though the fact that Prentiss had been right and she was at his door was making the air get caught in his lungs. Nonetheless, he maintained a neutral expression, waiting for her to speak.

"I came to tell you that you were right. He just wanted to get in pants." He stayed silent, simply observing her. She was upset, and he wasn't sure if it was because of the fact that he was right or because of something Tyler had said. "I actually thought he wanted to apologize, and I think part of me just wanted to believe that for the first time I was not being used, that people actually cared about what I felt."

"There are people that care about you, they are just not the wants you wanted to." He tried not to sound defensive but it seemed impossible. He cared about her, Emily cared about her, the whole team and her mom, even her cousin Nicole cared about her. He wanted her to see that, and maybe for it to be enough one day.

"No, they are! I thought I needed the people who wronged me to fix it, to show me that I was worth the trouble when in reality all I needed was for me to understand that I was. And I just needed a reminder that the people that care about me are the ones that should matter the most." A trace of a smile formed on his lips. He was included, at least he hoped he was, because what a wonderful life that would be. "I am so sorry about how I acted, and I am sorry I left you here waiting for me. Spencer Reid, you are my best friend and you come before any other jerk out there. I need you to know that this time in which I didn't have you with me was miserable. I missed you so much I spent the whole dinner with Tyler talking about you."

"You did?" He seemed genuinely surprised. Emily had predicted this too, and the meaning behind it. He wished he could control his emotions and not read too much into it, but the seed had been planted and now all he could think of is how to tell her he liked her. He was ready to say it, but thankfully he waited for her to finish.

"Yeah, I did. I missed you, and I hope we never fight again, I don't know what I would do without your friendship."

"I missed you too." She bit her lip, and he smiled, though he'd be lying if he said that her seeing him only as a friend was didn't hurt. Here he was, wishing to tell her that he wanted to be more than friends and she had inadvertently stopped him in his tracks. Instead of mopping and wishing to vanish, he decided that her friendship was better than anything else, and he couldn't lose that. He would get over here and she wouldn't even have to know about it. "Wanna come in and watch TV?" He asked, already taking his plan into action.

"I would love that." She smiled, Spencer was about to open the door and let her in when Emily spoke once more.

"That's good to hear, I am trying to get Spence here to watch Dance Moms with me but he refuses, maybe if there is two of us, he'll change his mind." She frowned, clearly confused by the presence of another voice, he opened the door to the view of a very drunk Emily in pajamas.  Her frown softened and she smiled again, seemingly relieved to see her. "May I say, you look hot. Blue suits you."

"So I've been told." She gave him a knowing look and he couldn't help the beat his heart skipped. This feeling was going to kill him one of these days.

"Are you sure you can handle being in that close all night though? Maybe Spencer can lend you one of his shirts." She said, winking at them. He tried not to look completely horrified by the implication that comment had due to the fact that the girl next to him had no idea it was there, but with Emily staring at him as she was, it had become a difficult task.

"Has she been drinking?"

"It's her third bottle of wine."

"We need to cut her off."

"Yeah, we do." He smiled at her, "She's right though, if you want to borrow something more comfortable let me know." The image of her in his shirt, and the idea that her smell might stay in it even after she was gone made him want to rush into his room and get it for her.

"Careful Spencer Reid, I might take you up on that." She joked, and he prayed to all the gods he knew about that she would.

"Awwww, YOU TWO ARE ADORABLE!" The woman screamed. "Just get married already!"

The pair laughed and made their way to the sofa, she closed the door behind her and sat down,  him very aware of their closeness. Emily grabbed the control and looked for the show, cheering like a little girl when she found it. Spencer felt her rest her head on his shoulder and his body immediately tensed up at the notion. He didn't really know for how long he had been feeling this way about her, but he wasn't sure he wanted to ever stop or fade away.

"Your birthday is coming up." She whispered.

"Yeah, I'm turning thirty, can you believe that?"

"You're old." He chuckled. "Do you know what you're gonna do?"

"Probably get a haircut."

"Besides that."

"I don't know. We might have a case."

"What do you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I need to get you something extra special for your birthday number thirty, so what do you want?"

"I don't need gits."

"You are no fun."

He had a pretty good idea of what he wanted, but he wasn't sure she was ready to hear it, or that he would ever get it. That was just life, and he had learned early on that he couldn't be greedy, he had a mom he loved, friends he could rely on, and that should be enough. Relationships were hard, feelings faded and he didn't want to be caught up in a situation where he would lose his favorite person in the world. So as he sat there, her head on his shoulders, a drunk Emily singing the themes song of the show they were watching while also giving the dancers advice, he decided that was the best he could hope for, reaffirming once again that his romantic feelings for the girl sitting next to him needed to disappear.