#like maybe I have a whole different perspective bc my mom had me at like 30 so this is kinda crazy to me 😭

[cupiidzbow]

i was so curious about how old vanilla was considering she’s a mother and when I looked it up I feel fucking crazy…… 32…… you had cream and 26……. and you were a single mother the entire time … first of I’m gonna destroy whoever left you alone to fend for yourself second of all oh my god you SHOULDVE been at the club 😭😭😭😭😭

[red-hibiscus]

Just finished watching Paradise of Thorns with a friend

Our thoughts (with some spoilers):

Overall, it had A LOT of potential to be a masterpiece, but it kind of went in a totally different direction than we thought it would and not in a way we particularly liked. Cinematography, acting, and music was great. Concept was good. Set up was good. The movie ended with us kind of not liking anyone. Especially after that very last fight. Everyone is objectively kind of a bad person.

Certain things we thought were unnecessary or could've been done a bit differently. Sek didn't need the whole cheating thing. Mo could've been a younger sister who hates Sek bc he got the land and not her. Or maybe she's a legitimate ex idk. Even an actually adopted daughter. This is partially bc the trailer (and first half of the film) leads you to believe it's a legal battle that shows what happens when gay ppl (who love each other) can't get married. Which does happen in the film, but Sek betraying people kind of weakens the impact of that. The focus is shifted.

Also the attempted rape was not needed at all. They could've continued with the slasher. It would've sufficed. Speaking of that slasher ending, where was Jingna? They weren't that far from him and they were screaming pretty loud.

My friend said she didn't like how quick Tongkam was to fall for Jingna. Personally (especially after seeing much bl) I can justify it from a plot perspective ig. I can work with it. At least the feelings. I think the suddenly acting like Jinga is his soulmate was fast though. Maybe he's desperate and lonely and wants to confirm an ally/loved one. Idk. Tongkam's brain confused me a bit.

I've said a bunch of negative things, so some positive things...

I think the Mo and the mom slowly but forcefully pushing out Tongkam was well done. It really made it feel like he was losing literally everything. Husband dead, house taken, literally sleeping outside without a good mosquito net despite having paid for everything. Well done. I felt the pain and frustration.

The actual pain of not being able to have the surgery done bc Tongkam isn't legally Sek's husband, and then not being able to get the land was intense. Really well done.

The sabotaging of the water and plants while Tongkam was out was smart and sad. The whole murder scene of the mom was intense and interesting. Tbh I thought it would've gotten more intense than it did. Wish they lingered on that plot a bit more. Similarly the reveal of Mo taking the chance to kill Sek was... in retrospect kind of predictable, but yeah fits the vibe and character.

That kiss scene under the mosquito net was aesthetically amazing. A+

My friend didn't like how it suddenly turned slasher at the end. Imo while it doesn't fit the vibe of the start of the film, I won't exactly say no to sudden blood and fighting. So some of that scene I did enjoy (minus the parts I mentioned above).

Conclusion:

Beautifully shot with great acting. Jeff looked gorgeous. Really had some amazing potential and I liked the first half the movie a lot. We both did. Some things were really well done and got me really attached and emotional to the whole story. Started going downhill due to certain plot choices we didn't really agree with. We also felt there was some plot holes. Wished some things could've been explained a bit better. This one is more of my friends thing, but I do think some relationships could've been a touch clearer. With a second watch on my own when I'm not chatting with a friend maybe I'd be fine for me.

I give it maybe a 7.5~8/10??? Do I recommend. Possibly, with warnings.

[angelsdean]

sometimes it feels like people (not you) infantilize mary the same way they infantilize jack. like she's almost 30 she's not 18 (not saying she's equal in maturity to her sons). she was an adult for a decade and chose to be a mom and then got upset because her adult children were adults and told them they weren't enough to overcome her grief (she has the right to be upset to be clear, i just feel like her wording was cruel in a way she might've not realized) and they have a right to be hurt that she isn't even trying to move on (from their perspective). (im 25 so maybe im biased tbh)

like imagine if your mom came back and then said "hey you aren't my sons. not the ones i want anyway. i can't be around you." like that's kind of cruel even if it's born out of deep hurt and not what she intended to say.

yup i touched on some of the age stuff in the ask i just answered, but yea this.

like i've said it a million times how much i understand her perspective and sympathize with her. i even wrote a little ficlet from her POV exploring her feelings of grief. i feel a lot for her in this situation. but i can feel bad for her and ALSO feel bad for sam and dean too. like there is no limit on who gets my sympathy / empathy. feeling for one of them doesn't make the others the bad or wrong ones. they can all be hurt in different ways and i can feel bad for all of them.

like you said, her words come off unintentionally (!) as cruel. dean later laments that this is hard for them too, that she's been gone their whole lives. now she's HERE. of course they're going to want her around. of course they're going to want some kind of relationship with her. of course the inner child in both of them (but i think dean especially bc he remembers her) is crying out for a shred of parental affection.

and it's hard, because mary is riddled with her own grief. and they give her time and space and she still doesn't seem to be working thru anything, instead she throws herself into hunting to cope. it's not until 12x22, when dean has to BEG her to look at him, his adult self, and really see him that she seems to finally overcome that grief.

but yea, mary hurts them with her actions. she doesn't mean to, and her situation is complicated and i'm sympathetic to her, but she hurts them nonetheless. and her age shouldn't be an "excuse" or something to throw around like a trump card to say "ok well it doesn't matter that she hurt them because she's younger than them now and they shouldn't be asking anything of her." she was their mom at 28. she was their mom at 24. she is always going to be their mom, and they have always seen this young woman (through pictures, memories, and time travel) AS their mother. they're not wrong for seeing her and going, "hey mom" and wanting a relationship with her.

also yea as someone roughly her age (29) i am like, if i had been dead my kids' whole lives and came back i'd want to know them? and spend time with them? even if it was hard? i'd be like, okay tell me everything. i'd also, probably, indeed be babying them bc the last time i was alive they were my babies. like "you still like pb&j with the crusts off? and uhh sam....you like...milk?" lmao

[strawberryseeded]

i spent the weekend watching various horror movies in netflix (my moms accnt obvs) cos i was too lazy to pir/ate anything. i watched uuh.. konferensen 2023 (it was fine, it was a good time), split 2016 (p good imo tho the superhuman angle was kinda silly to me. but it was interesting. solid. ending was a bit unsatisfying tbh? and the msg quite confusing? like i geddit, empowered victims.. but the kidnapper ended up becoming a perpetrator too? and the fl didnt shoot him in that crucial moment AND they also didnt show what she ended up doing abt her uncle. idk if the plan was 2 make a sequel but it all ended up coming off as.. pretty lukewarm..), the stepfather 2009 (nice. rly straight foward w the premise tho not super focused w its message.. like it was abt family but it gave too much focus to the protags gf? which i thought was a bit juvenile like we get it they are teens in love now lets get back to the dude trying to murder the whole family please.. also i kept thinking the story wud have been fun from the mothers perspective as well.. oh and a bit more bg & development for the killer wud hv been stellar), monster 2023 (indonesian) (plot was p standard (rly reminded me of that free ice cream horror flash game) but i rly liked it visually! rly cool scenography!! it almost had no dialogue & that was rly refreshing and interesting. it really didnt need any), and today i watched longlegs 2024 w my sister (which i did pirat/e)..uuuuummm... ok SPOILERS for longlegs

i rly liked the way it was filmed n the photography. also the music/sound dsgn. the time setting was confusing as hell for me tho?? like idk im not usamerican but the story supossedly took place in the 2000s but it all looked like the 70s to me???? and there are big differences between the 2 eras its not like im THAT period blind. the only scene i thought oh yeah theres no way this is the 70s is a scene in which you can see computers in the bg but anyways. the movie.

it started off GREAT. very eerie.. i had no clue abt the plot or anything btw i went into it completely blind.. so i had no idea if the movie was going for a realistic angle or a more supernatural angle. it rly reminded me of it follows 2014 not bc the fl was played by the same actress (it was) but bc everything that was happening seemed not quite real. like a dream. i loved that..

so ok. its p clear from the beginning that something is p weird (supernatural weird) abt this whole thing. the fl makes my suspicions grow bc shes some sort pf psychic so i though ok the killer is def some kind of hypnotist. i was wrong tho, whatever. lets skip a lot of stuff. plot twist it was the devil all along. i felt kinda silly bc im usually p good/fast understanding movies (esp this type of movies) but i was so confused by the end of this.. i was like huh.. wait what do you mean the devil is real in this story. it was rly easy to catch onto that btw i was just still expecting a psychic weirdo killer angle idk maybe i liked that idea more deep down lol? but it wasnt so my sister was like dude are you serious the devil was right there in one scene and i was like what. she went back to that scene. the devil was right there. oh ok. wait then what about the scene in which the mother shoots the dolls head why did she do that if the deal wasnt over. and what about the surviving victim why did she kill herself after the ball was out of the dolls head. oh god i almost forgot what abt the chief(?)s (no ok i literally cnt remember either his name nor job title im so sorry. yanno lees boss) did not even ONCE say smt like "oh hey my daughter has the same age n bd date than all the other daughters from the victim families. thats peculiar. lets take some measures maybe?" like forget that last part, why wasnt this even BROUGHT UP. another ridiculous thing abt this was the "birthday party" lee was invited to if thats even what you can call it.. most of the movie i was waiting for an actual party, with lots of people (STAKES, yknow?) but lee was literally the only person invited apparently?? what was up w that. also why didnt the fl shoot the dolls head at the bd party in the first place why did she wait until the dad started killing ppl. also the deal was supposed to end with the 13th victim i think so why did the mother say she will keep killing. me & my sister concluded well idk lets sleep on it i guess. yeah.

overall enjoyable and interesting, but i feel like the plot-twist reveal and the ending were a bit idk rushed?? like ill be quite honest i didnt feel anything abt the mother being the accomplice???? it was good in concept but was a bit lacking in execution.. like. why shud i even care.

[themiracleofteddybearmanifestos]

Spoilers for Heaven Official's Blessing/TGCF

I've finished reading TGCF in record time (for me) and now idk what to do cause it was my hyperfixation and now that I'm done I'm depressed.

Anyways all that aside, since it's literally permeated my brain to the point it's rotting, any song I hear makes me think of it and here are my top few recent ones that I really love

Without further adieu, Songs That Remind Me of Heaven Official's Blessing:

1) Everything In You - HalfShy, Adventure Time. Lyrics:

You and me We got something to lose Boy, you got your dreams I got everything in you And I'll be there through all the reveries 'Cause I believe in you more than I ever believed in me Ooh, and I love you, love you, love you No, it's not so hard to tell And I love you, love you, love you Is it obvious to everyone else?

And maybe this is killing part of me But it ain't called love without a little tragedy

Explanation: Pretty straightforward, it's Hua Cheng's perspective. He's dedicated to the max. Though the intention here differs from the original context of the song in AT, it still applies. The tragedy here is not stemming from their relationship, but damn these two are poster children for tragic back stories.

2) J's Lullaby - Delaney Bailey. Lyrics:

Darlin', I'd wait for you Even if you didn't ask me to Tie a lasso around the moon And bring it on down to you I'd bottle the feelin' you give me And shelve that stuff for years to come 'Cause, baby, when your arms are around me I'd swear that I'm holding the sun I'd give you the sun if you asked me You could have all of the time You could have the stars and the trees When dividin' up the universe You could have mine You could have mine Darlin', I wish that you Could give me some more time To herd the whole sky in my arms And release it when you're mine

Explanation: again, very applicable to Hua Cheng's perspective. This song is one of the most intensely dedicated and heartfelt love songs and Hua Cheng is maybe the most loyal person to ever exist (800 years and not a single negative thought about Xie Lian, never a doubt in his mind of how much he loves him or if he should give up). Seriously, this song fits SO well I feel like to explain it would be redundant.

3) Little Life, Cordelia

Explanation: So, this one for me made me think of Xie Lian and the domestic little life he has with Hua Cheng and how much that means to him. This one isn't just lyrical, it's the whole sound and feeling of the song which is why I included it instead of writing the lyrics.

4) Slipping Through My Fingers - ABBA/Meryl Streep (both versions are good). Lyrics:

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness And I have to sit down for a while The feeling that I'm losing her forever And without really entering her world I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter That funny little girl Slipping through my fingers all the time I try to capture every minute The feeling in it Slipping through my fingers all the time Do I really see what's in her mind Each time I think I'm close to knowing She keeps on growing Slipping through my fingers all the time

Explanation: This one's a lot different as this actually made me think of Xie Lian's mom. Seeing her son grow into a god and witnessing the distance grow between them. She was fully supportive and had so much love for her son, but he grew further and further away from her. This one gets me real sad, even if his mom wasn't super present in the story it's still heartbreaking.

And yeah, basically every song will remind me of the series ATM bc it's literally all that's on my mind but these 4 especially did and made me want to edit videos but I don't have that kinda time or energy or talent lmao. But the series is just.... Ughhhh it's such a beautiful story, even with any questionable moments/details, it's genuinely such a fantastically written series and GOD the love between Xie Lian and Hua Cheng is painfully beautiful. I don't love codependency but idec with these two they're both so supportive of each other and both fully want to be together at all times and you know what I also want them to be together at all times, they deserve it. I knew there was a lot of trauma since I first watched the show in 2021 and have been a fan, but actually reading all the books and learning everything is gut wrenching and heartbreaking and yet so beautiful and satisfying.

[cool-person-yey]

hey so I am able to form semi-coherent sentences rn so here are some ideas

• first off I need more sculpture horror. Anything works. Sculptor somehow "sculpting" real people? Yummy. Being turned into a sculpture ( and still being conscious)? YES.

• maybe a journal/diary of someone who has rly realistic dreams and has a problem discerning them from reality. So maybe they're doubting their spooky experience. Maybe they even did something horrible bc of that but since the OIAR doesn't do follow ups we won't know if the guy actually did that

• the reverse NotThem thing was amazing, and it gave me idea of what if it was from the perspective of the NotThem? Like it's hard to explain but what if you looked totally different from how everyone remembers you but you swear you're the same

• recipe from a mom blog where the instructions are... Unusual. Also it NEEDS to be extremely cheesy and cringy.

• yk when your mom has those longass phone calls and when you had a glimpse of the conversation it was the single most unhinged bullshit? Yeah that

• poems. I know jackshit about poetry but having any of the computer voices reciting a poem would fix me

•product reviews. Hear me out : do you know how many ppl completely ignore the instructions manual?? And how many see weird shit happening and think " yeah this must be normal" the possibilities

• idk how to explain it but a "Stranger Danger" ad that is actually a How To Meet Spooky Monsters propaganda. That'd be funny I think

• had a skin cleansing treatment a few weeks back and couldn't stop thinking " what if she ripped my skin off" you get what I mean?

• a review of any sort of primarily visual media, cuz it can't describe the whole thing exactly since it's yk. A podcast. But it will be very much Fucked Up

• YouTuber apology video. Just. Imagine that

• devlogs from a game that just get weirder and creepier with every single new one

• there was a type of paint that used literal mummies in the process of making it. Anyways an artist trying to replicate it.

• dentist appointments always scared me cause I can't see what they're doing over there. This is more of a concept ( a overused one ig) but I need more Dentist Horror

list of weird things I want to hear in a case file in tmagp:

baker (or just a person making their own bread) getting progressively more paranoid about the bubbles in their sourdough starter being sentient

teenager on some sort of social media talking about how the clothes pile on their chair looks at them in the dark

very cliche tree branch shadow tapping on someone's window in the middle of the night but it's actually an evil tree

I want more haunted theaters. It can never be overdone.

musician finds the one out of tune key on their piano deeply disconcerting to the point of obsession

someone gets a splinter and can't quite seem to get it out..... they keep digging for hours

avalanche. being stuck under the snow and not being able to tell which way is up.

story of someone who got stuck in an office building all alone and couldn't find the exit but there's just enough details similar to the oiar building that it freaks someone out.

worm sex part 2: electric boogaloo

someone with frost bite who couldn't stop rubbing their arms even though the skin was getting shredded from the ice particles :) flesh

everytime someone gets their picture taken, even if it's a candid, the result is them staring dead into the lense. even if they were turned the opposite direction when it was taken. they avoid cameras now.

someone's voice cannot be recorded and they start to question whether or not they're real.

furbiez.

someone who realizes everyone they've ever known has forgotten them. kind of an inverse not!them where they're the only one who knows themselves.

apartment complex finds body in their water tank, people had been drinking corpse water, one of the tenants obsesses over it and starts putting more bodies in the tank to get the ✨️flavor✨️ back.

love induced cannibalism and I want that shit genuinely romanticized. like i want it portrayed as if it's the most reasonable thing on earth to consume your loved ones.

time loop. except the person in the time loop is there so long they get desensitized and start just having fun with it. the time it finally stops looping is when they've done the most heinous thing they could think of and then they have to live with it.

might add more if they occur to me

[clarenecessities]

perspective flip: better (if i’m allowed to be more specific, someone else’s perspective from chapter two) ((sorry if you got this ask more than once, tumblr was being a butt))

Perspective Flip: I’ll write a scene from [Better, Chapter Two] from another character’s point-of-view

man tell me about it, it ate my whole first draft of this lmao

the more specific the better! here’s Bow’s Big Epiphany, capped off when Adora interrupts bc transitions suck

Unusual Fic-Specific Asks for Authors

“So it’s not Scorpia?” Frosta asked Adora, relaxing slightly as Catra left the room. Bow couldn’t say he blamed her, but the things he’d seen on Beast Island–the way Catra had broken down--well, Glimmer always said he was too forgiving. Maybe it would have been harder, if he hadn’t seen how nice future-Catra was (and how cute her babies were). 

“Not Scorpia,” said Adora, lips pursed like she was fighting a scowl. “I can’t figure it out. She never had a crush on anybody when we were growing up, but her future self said she’d already been in love, so--either it’s happened since I became She-Ra, or she lied to me for like… years, probably.” 

“She never told you she liked anyone?” asked Perfuma. She exchanged a glance with Bow, an unsurprised little ‘I imagine Catra’s been lying to everyone for years’ look that Bow probably meant a little more sympathetically than she did.  

“She never even tolerated anyone. The other cadets were either total jerks or scared of her, except the rest of our squad.” Adora paused, blinking hard like she was trying to force a thought from her mind. “It can’t--not Lonnie. She hates Lonnie. She kind of hates most people.”

“I mean, what about you? She tolerated you,” Mermista pointed out, raising a skeptical eyebrow. 

“Yeah, of course, but I was her best friend. We did everything together,” said Adora, frowning. She wasn’t quite defensive--the denial seemed almost instinctual to Bow, like she couldn’t imagine a world where she and Catra had been separate entities, despite their recent demonstrations to the contrary. “I’m telling you, there’s no way I wouldn’t have picked up on it, even if she didn’t tell me. It’s gotta be recent.” 

“Adora, no offense,” said Glimmer, at least trying to contain her exasperation, “but it did take you almost twenty years to realize the Horde was evil.” 

“That’s different,” said Adora, rolling her eyes. “This is Catra. Your mom says I didn’t realize the Horde was evil because--because it would hurt too much? I guess? There wouldn’t have been anything I could do about it, not until I found the sword. I needed to be able to… do something. Before I could do something. Does that make sense?” 

What a way to phrase it. Bow looked down at the tracker pad again, trying to ease the ache in his heart by looking at future-Adora, how happy and free she seemed. It hurt to hear how she thought of herself, how little she understood of her own thought processes during the ceaseless trauma of growing up in the Fright Zone. Adora’s heart beat with the need to protect, but she couldn’t even consider that her mind had been trying to extend that to her, however unconsciously. 

He hadn’t been there when Angella tried to explain this to Adora, but he was willing to bet she hadn’t placed so much emphasis on the sword. From the moment she’d joined the Rebellion, Adora had clung to that blade like it was her entire identity. They had to coax and cajole the rest of her personality out from behind the ‘dutiful soldier’ persona she couldn’t bear to relinquish. 

He wished he knew how to help her.

“No,” said Frosta, blunt as always.

“The sword represented an unprecedented agency,” said Perfuma, exchanging another sad look with Bow. “By accepting its power, you were able to accept your true feelings about the Horde.” 

“Sure,” said Adora, agreeing immediately despite the blankness in her eyes. She didn’t understand Perfuma’s point any better than she had Angella’s. 

But maybe Perfuma had a point--maybe to Adora, the sword wasn’t just another duty to take on. Maybe it was also her ability to choose for herself? Maybe that’s what she was clinging to? 

He looked back down at the picture. She didn’t have the sword on her. 

“That’s great and all, but how do we make her accept her true feelings about who Catra’s in love with?” asked Mermista, crossing her arms.

“Uh,” said Adora. 

“We are allowed to talk about your feelings,” said Bow, smiling at her. She’d been so open since speaking with her future-self. Maybe they could finally find a way to help her. “We just can’t bug Catra about hers!”

“I don’t--my feelings?” 

“Yeah!” said Glimmer, lighting up at the prospect. “Maybe it is like you not realizing the Horde’s evil! You could have some like, mental block keeping you from unlocking the truth!” 

“How are my feelings going to help that?” Adora asked weakly. 

“Well, let’s consider it from a new angle,” said Bow, rubbing his chin in one hand. “The only people we know she’s spent time with since you left are Scorpia and Entrapta, and I think we can pretty much rule out Entrapta. Are there any other female Force Captains?” 

“I mean, yeah. There’s Octavia--” 

“Oh! The octopus lady! Could it be her?” said Bow, brightening. Although wait, she was pretty old, compared to them…

“Catra clawed her eye out when we were six.”

“Ah,” said Bow, wincing. When they were six? His stomach turned, remembering his own clumsy adventuring at that age. To have been raised in the Horde–to have known all along that it was an evil, dangerous place, with no prospect of escape… Catra must have felt so trapped there. What had Octavia, at least a decade their senior, done to warrant a wound so devastating? How had Catra even been able to reach? 

He preferred to think it was just her lashing out, that Octavia had been an authority figure Catra had been confident enough to risk pissing off. Maybe it had just been a shallow scratch which had gotten infected, instead of the gouging he pictured automatically. 

Had she been scared? Scared enough to attack? Scared of the consequences once she had? 

“I appreciate your creativity Bow, but from what we know of Catra I think it’s more likely that she already had feelings for someone,” Perfuma cut in. “She’s very… goal-oriented. I doubt her attention was wandering in romantic directions once she was promoted.” 

And boy, wasn’t that true. Dissuading Catra from something was about as easy as dissuading Adora. 

“So she lied to me,” said Adora.

“Well… maybe,” said Perfuma. “Did you outright ask if she had a crush on anyone?” 

“Yeah! A bunch of times! She always said that stuff was stupid and she had more important things to worry about, said Adora, outright pouting. 

“That’s not a no…” said Glimmer, looking almost apologetic. It made Bow smile; that’s exactly the kind of defense she’d use if he called her out for lying. ‘Oh, I didn’t mean it that way,’ or ‘I didn’t say that’. Maybe she and Catra had more in common than he’d realized.

“Did she ever ask you?” asked Mermista. 

“Well yeah, it’s kind of--it’s a reciprocal thing, you don’t just ask and not answer yourself. Like half the time she asked first, it’s just a basic--friend--question--thing,” Adora stammered, flushing with clear embarrassment. 

“And did you ever tell her when you had a crush?” asked Mermista. 

“I’m--I mean, I would have? But I never had one, so--” 

“You never had a crush?” Mermista interrupted, plainly disbelieving.

“I kind of had a lot going on, okay?” huffed Adora. “There’s no time for stuff like that in the Horde.”

“So where do all the little Hordelings come from?” asked Mermista. 

Adora’s face darkened, grew heavy with emotions she rarely let even Bow and Glimmer see. He leaned into her, trying to reassure her with his physical presence. Pressure seemed to relax her, to ground her, most of the time. She probably wouldn’t accept a hug right now, but she leaned back into him automatically, so maybe it helped.

“Most are stolen,” she said at length, “Some are surrendered willingly. Some of us were taken in after being kidnapped across dimensions by an artificial intelligence bent on universal domination. You know, classic Hordeling sources.”

Bow winced. Mermista’s eyes widened, and she looked at the other princesses for help, but they all seemed just as lost for words as she was.

“Uh… look, Adora, I’m… sorry?” said Mermista, cautious but sincere. She uncrossed her arms, one hand moving to her braid, fiddling with the end of it. Bow had never seen her look so unsure of herself.

“It’s fine,” said Adora. She let out a long, slow breath, and he felt her release some of the tension in her shoulders. “It’s--it’s been a long few days.”

“Do you wanna like… talk about it?” Mermista tried, a little awkward. Bow smiled at her gratefully. 

“I guess I just like--like I always knew the Horde took me in as a baby, you know? I kind of wondered if that had been a lie after I realized they were evil, but… I don’t know. It felt… Like, everything made sense, it was never--it was all for something, you know?” 

“You felt that way even after you defected?” asked Perfuma, gentle and coaxing, but Bow could see the concern in her eyes. She was starting to see what he saw.

“I mean, yeah, kind of,” said Adora, with a helpless shrug. “I knew they were training me to do horrible things, but I didn’t think the way they did it was horrible. Not for me. I mean, apparently they really did take me in as a baby.” 

“But?” prompted Glimmer, coming up on her other side and wrapping an arm around her waist. 

“But I dunno,” said Adora. “Maybe it’s just seeing Catra’s kids, maybe it’s realizing I was just kind of dumped in their laps, but I… I knew it was bad for the other kids. That it wasn’t fair to treat them like that, but--seeing the twins--hearing the way Shadow Weaver--” 

Her shoulders were tense again. Bow thought back to what Glimmer had told him of future-Catra’s initial announcements, back to just what kind of warden they’d had, and almost tensed himself. Hearing the way Shadow Weaver what? He tightened his grip on the tracker pad instinctively, as his hands tried to close into fists. 

“I was never anything to them,” said Adora, cold and biting and sounding more like a soldier than he’d heard since they met her. “I looked at those babies and all I could think about was how much I loved them, the potential they had, how much I wanted to keep them safe, and happy, but the Horde--Shadow Weaver--I wasn’t even a weapon. I wasn’t even that.”

“I mean--” Mermista started, still uncertain, but Adora cut her off with a shake of her head. 

“I wasn’t, because even if--even if you program in a kill switch, you don’t--you don’t…” she trailed off, scowling. Her mouth twisted, and her eyes were shiny with unshed tears, and Bow was going to start crying any second now. “I hate her.”

“You don’t have to,” said Bow, trying to swallow his own tears. “You can, but--”

“Yes I do,” Adora hissed. “How can I not hate her? The things she did--the things she told us--made us think--” 

“It’s normal to care about the person who raised you,” said Glimmer, conciliatory but not quite compassionate. Adora would appreciate the effort, anyway.

“Not when that person is literally evil,” Adora muttered.

“She taught you how to tie your boots,” Bow reminded her softly, trying to bring her back before she could just bury all those emotions without addressing them. Again.

Adora shut her eyes, and her mouth was still twisted, but she was breathing deeply, like she was thinking things through. 

“I hate her,” she said, this time a thin and uncertain mumble. “I’m gonna go check on Catra.”

She pushed back from Bow’s shoulder, shrugging off Glimmer’s arm in the same motion, already turning back towards the door.

“Adora, we should give her space,” said Perfuma, frowning a little. Adora froze like Perfuma would threaten her life if she took another step. “This must be a lot for her to process. If she wants to turn to her friend for support, then--” 

“I’m her friend,” Adora interrupted.

Bow sighed, half exasperated and half fond. Adora had always been territorial, prone to possessiveness of her things. Food, especially, was a problem in the beginning; they kept accidentally sitting on her caches of less-perishable items, until she was able to accept that there were no circumstances or punishments that could threaten her next meal. 

That, or she got better at hiding her bread.

Admittedly, he hadn’t seen that possessiveness directed towards a person yet, but it didn’t surprise him to learn it was there. Adora entered the Best Friend Squad when it was already the three of them, so she had no reason to be jealous of Bow or Glimmer, but if she and Catra were as isolated growing up as he was beginning to suspect…

Well, Princess Prom was starting to make a lot more sense in retrospect. She had been having the exact same crisis Glimmer was, but from opposite sides of the war.

Perfuma seemed a little less amused to discover this particular quirk, but she managed a patient smile when she said, “You two haven’t had much time apart to process since your reunion, right? It’s important that you respect any boundaries she might set, including stepping out of the room for a moment.” 

Adora’s shoulders slumped, her rigid posture relaxing instantly at the reminder. She turned fully back to them, avoiding their eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about the Horde right now,” she told them, quiet but firm. 

“Then we won’t,” said Bow. He made eye contact with each princess in turn to confirm it, frowning pointedly at Frosta until she relented with a scowl. “Boundaries.” 

“Seems to be the theme today,” said Mermista, sighing melodramatically. “Can we at least figure out who fucks the cat?” 

“Mermista!” said Perfuma, clapping her hands over Frosta’s ears. She looked appalled, like she couldn’t believe a princess would use such language, despite what Bow had heard her say about cacti behind closed doors.

“What?” asked Mermista, unimpressed. “She’s like, twelve. She knows what sex is, Perfuma.”

“I can also still hear you,” said Frosta. 

“It’s not about the--it’s about the language,” Perfuma stressed, blushing. “It’s disrespectful!” 

“I think it’s a little more disrespectful to imply Frosta doesn’t know the word ‘fuck’ yet,” said Mermista. 

“I am objecting to the gossip,” said Perfuma, at least removing her hands from Frosta’s ears.  “We don’t need to speculate about any--any--private activities. It’s unproductive and it diminishes Catra’s--”

“Okay, whatever, fine,” said Mermista. “What respectful clues do we have?”

“Well, Catra’s in love,” said Glimmer, looking back at the door consideringly. “Or has been? Her future self wasn’t very clear on that, actually. But we can safely assume she will be in a decade or so, anyway.” 

“And it’s not with Scorpia,” Adora added.

“You’re like super fixated on it not being Scorpia,” said Mermista, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure you haven’t had a crush? She is kind of your type.”

“My--my type?” Adora spluttered. 

“Yeah, you know, big, strong, muscular,” said Perfuma, smiling. “Totally understandable, she’s dreamy.”

“No,” said Adora, looking mildly horrified at the very suggestion. “I mean--yeah, sure, she has nice muscles, but she’s… No. She’s too nice. We’d never get anything done.”

Mermista shrugged it off, but Glimmer started laughing. Bow blinked, looking at her to see what brought that on.

“I thought you guys meant Catra,” Glimmer explained between giggles.

Bow blinked again. 

He looked down at the tracker pad. 

Future-Adora gazing at the kittens, at Catra, with a melty, absolutely smitten smile. 

The kittens, with their enormous blue eyes that decidedly didn’t match Catra’s shade. 

No. No, it couldn’t be, right? There was no way Adora would have been able to hide the fact that she was in love with… 

Oh, no. She couldn’t hide it, but her stupid over-protective subconsciousness could--

“Bow?” came Glimmer’s voice, echoing faintly. His ears might be ringing.

“Bow, are you okay?” asked Adora, meeting his eyes and yeah that was the exact same shade of blue alright--

“Yep! Grood! I’m gate! I--just remembered I have to ask Catra something! Right now!” he squeaked, handing Glimmer the tracker pad and running for the door before he could give anything away. 

Oh, Catra was going to kill him if he gave something away. 

He stopped at the door, giving them all his most reassuring smile. “Everything is fine!” he said, smooth and confident and totally normal--

He closed the door behind him, locking eyes with a visibly chastised Scorpia, Catra pacing up and down the hallway and breaking off mid-lecture to glare at him for interrupting. 

“It’s Adora?” he shouted, before a single rational thought could stop him. 

Scorpia straightened up like she’d been electrocuted, and Catra’s eyes shot wide before narrowing to slits. 

Oh. 

Right.

The killing him part. 

He squeaked a little as she tackled him, slamming him against the door by his shoulders, but thankfully the claws didn’t come out. At least not the ones holding onto him. 

“What are you talking about?” she demanded, not quite able to mask her panic with anger.

“I--once I realized I couldn’t just like, unrealize, and--does she not know? Does she even know she’s in love with y--”

“Shut up!” Catra hissed, shaking him a little. “Don’t say shit like that, fuck--”

“I don’t think so,” Scorpia volunteered, hovering a little like she was willing to intercede on his behalf. That was kind of nice of her, actually. He’d have to try a little harder to defend her from Adora’s jealous--ohhhhh. 

“We’re not doing this. I’m not having this conversation with you!” said Catra. They were both panicking now, feeding off of each other’s alarm, and none of Bow’s breathing techniques would come to mind when all he could think was what and how long and what does this mean and that claw looks really sharp--

“Adam is blond!” he blurted the second he opened his mouth. 

“So help me, Arrow Boy, if you say one more word--I will break into your closet in the dead of night and sew midsections onto all your shirts if you so much as hint--”

[pynkhues]

Honestly Eddie and Chrissy make me unhinged adjacent bc there was just so much potential with them and so much depth for characters that only had one season so I can’t tell you how thrilled I am that you’re so willing to analyze them! I love reading your opinions. 🤍

I actually sent you another anon ask wayyy earlier discussing the different ways they take up space and perform (which you answered beautifully). And I just think in so many ways they almost operate as character foils (is that the right term) to each other.

It’s just themes that seem so integral to their characters, such as space, performance, freedom, independence, support and perception, are in opposition to each other. And I’m really curious if that was on purpose or just something that evolved? You always seem to have great industry insight, do you have any thoughts on this? Especially considering that this does seem to be echoed down to the details, such as their clothing?

I also think that the performers played off so well with each other that gave even more depth then we maybe would have seen with other actors. Honestly the stranger things casting director is top tier!

My aunt and mom have been really fun to discuss the show with bc they actually were in hs in the 80s! My mom was considered a “freak” and my aunt was a “prep” so they both have different perspectives and strong opinions on things. I’m glad you find my aunt fascinating, typically she only watches scary or action movies so seeing her thoughts on a show with more character development is interesting to me! She absolutely loves Karen Wheeler and finds Robin annoying (which I found unsurprising as she always hates talkative comedic relief women in shows). Thank you for listening to my ramblings. 🤍

Thank you for sending your ramblings, I love to hear them!!!

You're totally right about them being a type of character foil to each other. Narratively speaking, the function of a foil is to reveal through contrast, and one of the things that's really fun about Eddie and Chrissy is that their contrasts feel quite dynamic and mutable. They look like polar opposites on a surface level, then dig deeper and you find the similariities, and dig deeper again to find the way those similarities contrast. He's a heavy metal musician and she's a cheerleader (contrast), which are both types of performance (similar), but he performs to reveal and Chrissy to conceal (more nuanced contrast).

It's a sort of complimentary contrasting which is a lot of fun to unpack and explore, and it's felt in so many areas too. Like you said - taking up space, and freedom and independence and support and perception - they have these really specific things that seem to knot up their lives, but they're felt and experienced in completely different ways. I love that.

I do suspect it was probably done both on purpose and evolved organically? From a story standpoint, Eddie and Chrissy's characters are deeply tied to each other, even after her death, and it motivates both the season as a whole and Eddie's entire arc in a way that literally buries them together. She's his inciting incident and his resolution, as his arc is structured around his going from coward to hero, something the writers drum home by Eddie dedicating the song to her not long before he decides to act courageously and dies.

Things like the dialogue, them having their own song on the score ("I wouldn't remember me either" - highly recommend listening to it here if you'd like to cry!!!!), the editing of their scenes, costume details like Chrissy's '86 necklace contrasting with Eddie's reiteration of '86 being his year (if I recall correctly, the year's not mentioned by anyone else despite it being Nancy, Robin, Jonathan and Argyle's graduating year too), are all deliberate. These are the jobs of multiple people - not just the actors, but the writers, directors, composers, editors, art department and costume team who are all using the tools in their arsenals to add layers and texture to the story.

I do think some of its organic too, of course, and comes naturally out of a lot of different people thinking about a relationship or dynamic, especially one as pivotal to the season as Eddie's and Chrissy's was. Chrissy dying in Eddie's trailer was the catalyst for the Hawkins plot after all, which meant it was a crucial moment for the season to land, and a pivotal one to build to, and as Joseph, Grace and the Duffer Brothers have all said in interviews, she needed to feel safe enough with him to go back to his trailer alone, and so making sense of why she does was a big part of their approach particularly to the scene in the woods. They could've emphasised her desperation, but instead they emphasised that feeling of safety and trust, which was a deliberate choice.

It was definitely bolstered by Joseph and Grace's thoughtful performances and delightful chemistry though too, haha.

I love that about your aunt and your mum as well! Them having grown up in such different subcultures must be fascinating. My mum and her brother and sister are super different too, and weren't close when they were young but have become really close later in life, and as a result they have quite different memories of things? It's really interesting to listen to, haha.

[localtrashstan]

First of all, I'd like to sincerely apologize if this felt pointed at all towards you. That was most certainly not my intention, this take is one I see all over the place and not just on here, so again, sorry if it felt that way. I was irrationally angry about this when I posted it.

Now, I'd just like to say thank you so much for your input, I entirely understand seeing that as immature, I know a lot of us, I'm sure, also interpret each character differently as well. Personally, what all three are going through, in some regard, I relate to as an adult who still lives with my parents and siblings, so maybe I see it a bit differently than someone who might not have the same experiences as me.

Sam's whole thing is supposed to come off kind of young since that's literally part of his character, but I can say from personal experience that parents like Jodi who kind of just do everything for their kids definitely are a contributing factor to that. So many things I should've learned to do for myself I simply never did until adulthood bc my mom simply always did it, she never even asked, she just did it.

As for Abby, I see her situation as more of what I'm going through, but that could honestly be a lot of projection on my part. She seems like she's still trying to figure out who she is, and lots of college age adults tend to rebel against their parents, usually it's just done away from them. Her parents, mostly Caroline, give me the impression that she maybe was a bit sheltered growing up and maybe that's why this is manifesting now rather than in her teen years. Again, could certainly be projecting as my own situation is very much so like this lol.

And for Seb...well idk exactly what to say about him except I think he just wants to feel independent but doesn't know how to do that really. I'd argue he's got a lot of unresolved issues he's just carried with him from his teen years and that's contributing to his whole "nobody understands me" thing he's got going on. In my opinion, he's depressed. As someone with depression, it's so silly and sounds really immature, but it really does often feel like nobody understands you, its difficult sometimes to explain what youre feeling and going through to others when they've never experienced it. And breaking it down further, everyone experiences things different. Where he's living in a small town and is awkward and nerdy and also emo as hell, he probably feels pretty alienated from everyone else, which is understandable.

I'm probably reading way too deep into this given they're literally pixels, and maybe I'm being a bit defensive because I relate a lot to them, but I thought I'd include my thoughts regardless. Again, thank you for including your perspective, I very much so appreciated it. Sorry this took a little for me to respond to, I had a difficult time getting my thoughts into words without making it so long and it's still super long lol. I hope this made sense!

I don't get why people like to call the A.S.S trio "adults that act like teenagers" or "teenagers" bc I know plenty of young adults literally in the age range they're supposed to be in that don't act much different. Like, are we supposed to stop liking things we liked as a teenager just bc we became an adult? Idk about you all but I'm in this alt kid shit for life, I tried to escape and just ended up being incredibly unhappy and felt like I wasn't myself.

Idk, I just find it weird when they're literally not that old at all and everyone is like "tHeY aCT LikE TeEnAgErS" when in reality the difference between a teenager and a young adult is not really that much different. You're still trying to figure yourself out. You're still often living at home and going to school. You're just trying to figure life out. That shit sucks, and that's okay. I don't think it's immature to hold onto hobbies you had as a teenager, especially not when you're only in your 20s.

Sorry, rant over. I just needed to put that out there and get that annoyance off of my chest. I'm hoping it's not just me who thinks this but who knows.

[silkgonerough]

Astro Observation/Rants #3 (includes moral support for ppl with harsh aspects between their big 3)

🍰UNDERRATED ASPECT COMBO: Mercury sextile venus + mars when I tell you the amount of crazy situations I’ve talked my way out of and the amount of free things I’ve talked my way into is simply ridiculous.. The mixture of both I think gives someone a rlly nice and sweet way of talking but with a certain tact and persuasion with how their saying it if that makes sense? Which equals a real charmer in words but also someone very skilled in how to get what they want through what their saying. If you have this as well start using it to your advantage trust me it works!!!

☹️Does anyone else who has Pluto or Saturn on or aspecting the ascendant in a harsh aspect have an intense self awareness that kind of keeps them from doing certain things bc it gets to much be too much or you get too paranoid over what others will think of you?

😪Being a Sagittarius but with Saturn as my dominant/elevated planet is really not what I signed up for... I thought I was getting my fun carefree casual storyline but Saturn said it’s the struggle for me. RIP to young me who only looked at cookbook astrology and rlly thought I was doing something...

🙃Ppl who have their sun or ascendant squaring your own ascendant usually have habits or just certain things they do that tend to annoy you or make you judgemental in how they present themselves to the world and others around them. My virgo rising squares my moms sagittarius sun and I can’t take her anywhere 😕

🥵Venus square mars is so hot yet such a disaster in synastry😭 like maybe it’s because I attract relationships that tend to be as messy as something out of a Netflix original but I’m always so attracted to guys who’s venus’ square my mars... and then they open their mouths😪

📚If you know someone with mercury in an aspect to saturn compliment their intellect, writting skills or just knowledge in general!! Ppl with this aspect tend to feel insecure with being considered “smart” even if they really are! Most ppl I’ve met are able to articulate their thoughts rlly well and are like walking dictionaries almost? They way they talk when explaining definitions or concepts is also lowkey hot🥵maybe that’s just my Virgo rising talking tho...

💖Sun in any aspect to venus but especially the conjunct/trine as an aspect between two people is the official hype man aspect!! The venus person hypes the hell out of the sun person and vice versa!! Probs the loyal fan who’s always in your comment section😘I love this aspect sm tho you just love the entire being of the other person! one of my fave celebrities has her venus conjunct my sun and I am deeply in love with her🤪

😩WHEN WILL THE UNIVERSE GIVE ME ANYTHING OTHER THEN A DAMN PISCES ARIES OR LIBRA MAN ITS GETTING OLD give me my Scorpio or Capricorn man😭🙏 (except dont bc all of hell will break loose and it’ll be me invigoratingly opening the gates)

🌗If you have your sun in a harsh aspect to your moon (square or opposite) your childhood was probably not the most fun in the home life and you probably understood the harsh reality of marriage or just unhealthy relationships in general from the parents :/ the whole sun/moon inner conflict was also probs pretty prevalent and caused social issues with peers at school.. honestly such a sad aspect to have as a child bc everything’s so hard and you don’t understand why bc you don’t rlly understand yourself yet :( but once you grow into it and figure out how to balance your emotions/moon to your overall personality/sun one can become the strength where the other is weak and it creates a sort of wondrous enigma of a person and ppl can become rlly entranced in your personality! It’s called layers bitch😜

🤫Scorpio/Pluto in the 3rd house (I have both🤗) could be someone who has a lot of secretive hobbies or interests that they don’t share with a lot of ppl but may have a secret social media accounts for them👀 not the type to tell ppl if they like someone but the ppl who are close to them will catch on or honestly figure out just by asking them straight up bc once confronted we get all embarrassed and you can see it on our faces super easily! We love our mysteries, plot twist or literally anything that requires digging deeper or making theories when reading or watching something. No surface level shit here🙅‍♀️

💸Mars in 2nd house may have a shopping addiction or may be bad at saving money. They usually binge shop and are the types that went to a grocery store for more untensils and came back with a waffle maker and a bunch of baking supplies😅 stingy if you eat their food without permission... the type to freak out if they left their fave shirt at their friends house after a sleepover lol, probs has a thing for food and sex together or sex in a really luxurious place with candles and rose petals.. it’s go big or I’m going tf home with them. Have furniture in ur home their not fucking in a god damn roller rink🤣

🌟People with Mercury in Aquarius/aspecting Uranus seem to really like talking about scientific theories or futuristic concepts!! All the ones I’ve known have had really grand ideas and seem to like anything related to the mystical but also seemingly holds a lot of innovative undertones! One of my friends who has Mercury in Aquarius aspecting Neptune/Uranus has a thing for the Disney short films which honestly is like a mix of neptune and uranus in its art forms! I’ve always thought it was cute how eager she is to show me them☺️

🌊From what I’ve observed an aspect that can make someone kind of bad at confrontation or like vocalizing their feelings until it’s too late and their bursting like a freaking geyser is Pisces mars. It doesn’t rlly take a lot to have them feeling some sort of way either with or without a valid reason (this is just an observation from the ones I’ve seen I don’t want to generalize!!) but the way they get angry is like a baby’s tempter tantrum and because I’m a Sagittarius I can always see thru the bullshit and I’m like is anyone else seeing this? I think overall besides Scorpio having a water mars signs is exceptionally hard so I cut them some slack but at what cost😫

🤤Mars conjunct Jupiter people are yummy. The men and women both are so hot and the men are always exuding big dick energy and usually thats what their giving👀

🌎All my big 3 create harsh aspects to one another (sun square moon, moon opposite ascendant, ascendant square sun) I honestly don’t know how I made it this far without literally exploding from tension but to anyone with these I guess my advice would be to refrain from taking things too personally bc it’s usually never that serious we’re just already a bit insecure in ourselves and how we present ourselves to the world! Your perception of how others view you vs how they actually do are usually very different in a good way but we tend to self sabotage ourselves into acting the way we think others want us to! I think having so many conflictive yet different sides of yourself creates a very influential character. It’s kind of like living in many completely different places throughout your life. The change is always hard and you don’t always feel secure but your experience and perception on things are really unique and you can offer other ppl a whole new perspective on who they are bc you yourself are always looking through the world through conflicting yet contrasting lenses.

[terrainofheartfelt]

What are your thoughts on Dan and Rufus' relationship?

Oh good. A softball question! 

It’s weird, bc I think Dan and Rufus probably have the best parent-child relationship in the whole show, but also, the bar is so low already, yk? And it’s weird bc there is such a marked difference in Rufus as Dan’s parent and Rufus as Jenny’s parent, so it’s hard for me to separate out what’s good about their relationship, when Rufus was so unhelpful when Jenny went through similar stuff—and it therefore snowballed and got Worse real fast. 

But trying to put that aside for a moment, Dan and Rufus did have a fairly good relationship, especially in the early seasons, not perfect—bc it never is—but Rufus really was a source of stability for Dan in an objectively very unstable time, and Rufus provided needed reality checks against the UES world. And, sometimes (but not enough imho), Dan gives that same check to Rufus, when he becomes too entrenched in Being Right and withholds himself from making amends (which he does with Jenny & with Lily at different points in the show)

The danger comes, I think, when Rufus projects his own feelings and history on what Dan goes through, and tries to either get Dan to make the choices he would or do what he thinks he should have done. But those moments are also so interesting, bc it’s two characters that the show paints as very similar, finally having differences, and colliding over them. 

(Though, I maintain my opinion that Jenny is more aligned with Rufus than Dan, and Dan is more aligned with Alison than Rufus.)

Moments I’m thinking of: in s2, when Dan pursues writing a story about the Basses that Rufus says will be exploitative (and like…is it though Rufus?). And tellingly, in 5b, when Rufus projects his marriage (and its current drama) all over Dan and Blair’s relationship, trying to convince Dan how he should approach the relationship and define his own boundaries. It had nothing to do with what Blair and Dan were up to, really, it had everything to do with Lily and Rufus. 

And, what I find most fascinating: the Milo arc, when Dan has a baby and Rufus loses it, like, he was mad. He wouldn’t talk to Dan about it, Lily’s the one who makes the first move to help Dan out. (And, as Dan points out, when there was a pregnancy rumor about Serena going around, Rufus had…not the best reaction). It’s also meta I’ve written somewhere before, (here) but I think it’s Rufus projecting again. Because I think Rufus had kids very young—he and Alison talk about that—and he says more than once that he gave up his career to be a dad. So he sees his son with talent coming out of his fingertips and sees what he almost had, and projects that could-have-been all over Dan. (S has meta kinda about that here) And Dan, for better or worse, doesn’t see the big picture in the same way, in those moments when he clashes with his father, Dan is always trying to do his best with the information he has at the time. He thinks he knocked Serena up junior year, he tells her he loves her and supports whatever her decision is. When Georgina shows up at his door about to pop, he has to help her, because what’s the alternative? Say no? That’s not the man his father raised him to be. The father who, when his mother packed up her life and left, stayed with his family. And when he’s trying to find his footing as Blair Waldorf’s partner after thinking he was alone in his love for so long, he’s focused on making her happy. 

So uhhh, in conclusion, my thoughts are complicated, like their relationship. But if I could change only one thing…I would have it be that Dan fights harder for Jenny. (because she needs someone in her corner I MEAN). Because she needs someone, and because I think Dan is the only one (aside from maybe his mom and Lily) who have the point of view and pull to give Rufus some perspective. 

Though, maybe Dan pulling away in s3 while Rufus and Jenny were constantly butting heads make sense for his character. He could have had major fatigue from refereeing their fights. And maybe that’s a role he only learned to cover after Alison left. It’s a rich field to mine. (more meta about it here)

[collisiondiscourse]

on the wonder duo (part 1)

(BNHA Analysis Post Ahead! This isn’t explicitly romantic, but it is an analysis of the relationship between the two most popular characters in BNHA--Katsuki Bakugou and Izuku Midoriya. Split into two posts because I realized that this was gonna be long as HELL)

yall ever think about the fact that the wonder duo is perfectly set up in so that bakugou and deku together are the better version of all might?

bc like. ive been thinking.

everyone knows the win to save and save to win parallel. How they are supposedly two halves of a whole perfect hero (which, previously, was defined as all might)

but ever since bakugou and deku started working as one—growing together to win AND save and continuously reminding each other that they shouldnt try to do things alone, ive realized that its BECAUSE theres two of them that they surpass all might. its not a case of deku and bakugou both being 50% of an ideal hero, but rather i think that they are 100% of what all might SHOULD HAVE BEEN from the very beginning.

as early as the AM v AFO battle in kamino, we see the effects of all mights flawed existence. the fact that he, the greatest and supposedly infallible symbol of peace, was destroyed—society had begun to collapse. there was suddenly no pillar to hold people together and the impacts were so severe that even in the latest chapters of mha it keeps on getting worse. the truth is, all mights biggest mistake was the burden he placed on his own shoulders

with bakugou and deku... its different.

its different for them because down to their attributions, they seem like two halves of a whole person.

i think that the wonder duo are going to surpass all might because of the fact that they work together.

@bakugoukatsuki-rising @svpercraigus @tybee​ @isaustraliaathing​

(batshit crazy and conspiratorial essay under the cut !)

1. Complementary Colors

I’d like to first preface literally everything I say by the fact that I am not an expert analyzer or literary major in any way. I am literally just some random fan on the internet who has wayyy too much time and looks wayyy too deep into things, but here we go!

A common thing we see when we talk about bakugou and deku is the way they are... sort of an inverse of one another.

Down to the design of their features and the way they move, Deku is the obviously softer of the two. There’s an intentional contrast between the two of them, in the way that Deku’s drawn with round shapes and curvy hair and the way Bakugou is literally all spikes and half-mast eyes and rough muscles. Bakugou’s movements too are languid and showy, with the way he leans when he walks and splays his legs and kicks open doors. Katsuki, in a casual sense, is loud and dramatic. 

Deku on the other hand s finicky. He jitters when he walks and he’s often fidgeting and mumbling. Comparatively, the aura he radiates is energetic and frenzied, even self-conscious to a point unlike Bakugou’s calm and confident movements.

the point is, there’s a clear difference in how either of them are designed and what exactly they are supposed to represent. They utterly complement each other down to the way they behave and even their main colors (red-orange and blue-green) being literal complementary colors.

Now, moving to my more ungrounded points, this is quite a bit of a stretch so I’ll try as much as possible to make sense of these with hyperlinked sources because. yeah.

Down to their names, I think Deku and Bakugou both symbolize something deeper. I think that the way Hori expresses characters and what they’re meant to do is something that we have to pay close attention to when we talk about the Wonder Duo’s rise to success.

Izuku Midoriya (緑谷 出久), as some of us may know, does have an interesting meaning when broken up. According to a lovely fan translation of his name, ‘Izuku��--while not an actual name used commonly in real life--means to ‘Come out’ or ‘Long time’. ‘Midoriya’ on the other hand means (Midori) ‘Green’ and (ya) ‘valley’. The translator further pointed out that his first name ‘Izuku’ could be a reference to him being the first legendary hero to come out of the long-running All Might Era. (or, if you’ve been reading @/bakugoukatsuki-rising’s posts, the first significant anime protag in a long while to come out as queer, ppfft)

but that isn’t my focus right now.

We know that Hori LOVES telling stories with names, and more often than not in the BNHA universe, names alone tell us a lot of things about the characters. When referring to Izuku’s last name, Midoriya, it’s important I think to step back and realize that hey, maybe there’s something more to Green Valley than just the fact that his motif is all green.

After searching for a lil on the specifics of green valley, I’ve found out that across many cultures, the colour green and valleys in general tend to represent life. From dream analysts, to Christianity, and even old Taoist teachings, valleys are seen as areas of fertility and escape. They are seen as safe havens and often escapes for people to come to after running away from bad circumstances.

(Sound familiar?)

Deku, in essence represents life and peace. He represents being the “salvation” that the world in BNHA needed. To me, it sounds like Horikoshi is trying to say that he is the long-awaited hero in the sense. The one that people can feel will create a society that feels safe for everyone after years of All Might just saving people from themselves as a band-aid solution.

On the other hand, we have Katsuki Bakugou (爆豪 勝己), who’s name we commonly know means (Katsuki) Winner and (Bakugou) Explosion Master. He is essentially, the champion. The power. His name means success and power and all the things that make up winning.

When putting them side by side, it then becomes increasingly... interesting to me how their names almost perfectly slot into All Might’s save to win and win to save mantra, and how they are both quintessential parts to what made All Might as a hero.

2. Hero Too!

Now, I’m not even gonna really TOUCH much of what happens in canon. If you want me to do a step by step breakdown of their arcs in regards to the plot of manga and anime, feel free to send me a gratuitous ko-fi tip so I can pay for the headache I get after trying to organize my thoughts into word vomit.

What I WILL talk about on the other hand, is the subtle shift both of them slowly have in regards to how they look. Bakugou and Deku, while growing up, seem to have MANY many parallels--but before I elaborate on all of that, I wanna talk about something else.

Detour: Deku’s Red Shoes 

We all know the iconic symbol being Deku’s red shoes. For all his life, save for some outfits like his hero one, we see Deku more often than not wearing his signature red sneakers which have become a running joke in fandom.

But the funny thing is, in Japan, red shoes seem to have an interesting connotation.

In 1922, a popular Japanese nursery rhyme was written, called “Red Shoes”. The interesting part to me about this song was the symbolism that, in my tiny pea-sized brain, I could connect to the story of BNHA.

The story goes that there was a little girl with red shoes named ‘Kimi’. She was from Shizuoka prefecture (which, if you didn’t know, is most likely where Musutafu supposedly is) and was raised by a single mother. When she was young, her mother had to entrust her with a foreigner under the impression that they would give her a better life in America. The stranger is a man named Charles Hewitt (who was described to have blue eyes) and supposedly took her away. 

The singer of the song (supposedly the mother, but some argue it was written from the perspective of a childhood friend) believes that Kimi is happy and living a better life away from them, when the reality of the situation was much worse. The young girl with red shoes in actuality had Tuberculosis, and thus the foreigner whom she was entrusted to had left her to fend for herself and eventually left her to go to America while she died alone and orphaned.

“When I see red shoes, I think of her.”

A very interesting story with very interesting implications indeed.

-

Anyway, moving on to the more... “nuanced” and connected parts of this section, I have every reason to believe that Bakugou and Deku were simply MEANT to be working together down to how they dress. Now, I’d like to discuss their hero costumes.

At the start of their series, using these godawful pics for reference, it’s clear to see that neither of them seem alike in any way--reflecting the dissonance in their relationship at that point in canon.

ough. deku why. (yes we know why its because you love your mom you stupid little bunny <3)

Anyway, we see an immediate gap in how the two of them are. Deku’s first costume is one that reflects how he treated his dream of being a hero. He was still in that childlike idolization phase, the one where his dreams and aspirations were hinged on pure feelings and inspiration from All Might. Katsuki on the other hand was a lot more tactical--professional to an extent. The gap between their respective development with their quirks is something that is clearly felt in every fashion decision they’d made.

(Notice how Deku’s green is a lot brighter and less like the green accents Katsuki has all over his costume.)

As time progressed however... their costumes changed. The colors, the silhouettes, the practical functions, most things.

(Deku’s Gamma Costume and Bakugou’s Winter Costume used respectively)

we begin to notice a few similarities.

As the show goes on and we see more evolutions of their costumes, it almost seems like they begin to look like a matching pair. Deku’s green grows darker and almost teal in nature, while Bakugou’s orange is veering towards red territory. This is important to note because red-orange and blue-green as I said earlier were complementary colors as compared to simply orange and green. The minute shift is something I really wasn’t quite sure was intentional, but something I find interesting to pick up nonetheless as the colors they used to accent their costumes begin to match up.

Secondly, I think and important thing to note is silhouettes. The way that both Bakugou and Deku’s costumes are designed follow a lot of parallels that typically we don’t see with the rest of 1-A. For one, they both have a combination of tight long-sleeved tops with a bulkier set of bottoms. They also share the use of utility belts and metal pieces typically worn around their necks. Deku has his bunny-eared hood that mimics All Might’s hair, while Bakugou has his orange and black explosion ear-pieces that mimic his own quirk.

i don’t think any other people in class 1-A match each other as subtly yet strongly as these two. Uraraka and Deku and Bakugou and Kirishima do come close however.

“But Codi, you fucking knob!” I hear you plea. “This is such a reach and tells us practically NOTHING!” And yes, I’m inclined to agree with you! You’d be sort of right in the idea that this is a reach. Maybe I am looking too much into this, and maybe it really isn’t that deep--but I do think that them subconsciously matching outfits means something quite brilliant.

In the way that their costumes are designed, each aspect of either outfits have a very logical explanation. The changes were strategic and made with their fighting styles vividly in mind, so what that tells me is that BECAUSE these costumes are so complementary or similar in nature (Bakugou’s reinforcing his arms while Deku reinforces his legs), these two are implicitly showing the audience that their combat styles are complementary as well. 

The evolution of their design choices and similarities tell us that even unknowingly, their minds line up in strategy on the battlefield--a clear exhibit for why they would be INCREDIBLY POWERFUL as a Hero Duo to begin with.

When I look at their hero costumes side by side, I see a mirror. I see the way that these two are reflections of each other and are strong where the other isn’t. The point I see in BNHA repeatedly is that EVERYONE HAS A WEAKNESS. Nothing is infallible, regardless of how hard you train or how powerful your quirk is. Everyone will always have a weakness, but the significant difference I see when fandom discusses the future of Pro-Hero Society is that the new generation is finally raising itself to be RELIANT on each other. 

Observing their fighting styles and the simple use of their quirks, its obvious that they are indeed two parts of a whole hero. Bakugou, who’s quirk emphasized his arms and hands and the power that comes from it, while Deku who’s quirk now emphasizes his legs and lower body and the way he’s always running to save people.

IN CONCLUSION:

As they become heroes, it is easy to assume that if nothing else, Bakugou and Deku will cover each other’s weak spots (especially when you consider the way Deku probably won’t be able to keep using his arms with the way both the anime and manga are going...) (also chapter 285, anyone?)

-

Part Two: Interactions, OfA

kofi || commission details

[spencersawkward]

not to go full fluff central but omg can you write a one shot about matthew hanging out with his kids?? i see him as a girl dad and he would 100% play dress up with them and they would be wrapped around his finger and itd be so sweet it could cause cavities lmao i just want that man to have children so bad

ugh yes i want him to have kids so bad and YES he 100% is a girl dad i definitely agree. this was super interesting to write tbh bc i did it from his perspective but i'm glad i did and i'm glad you asked for it bc we love a saccharine one-shot! also i'm so bad at names for characters i'm sorry lol.

summary: Matthew has a day off with his two daughters!

content warnings: none! literally just fluffy fluff with a side of fluff.

word count: 2.1k

masterlist

when Matthew wakes up to the press of a crayon on his forearm, he nearly startles. his head jerks up to see his daughter, Juniper, trying to draw on him. her hair is neatly braided and the other side of the bed is empty, indicating that his wife has already gotten up.

"good morning, sweetpea." he says to Juniper with a tired smile, wincing when she tries in vain to draw on him. wax on skin doesn't work that way.

"it isn't working, Dad." she pouts. she throws the purple crayon onto the bed and stares at him. she's got dark lashes framing huge, beautiful eyes, and a gap between her front teeth. she pried out the baby tooth a week ago-- seven years old and already determined to take it out herself-- and has been showing it around the house like a trophy.

"maybe we can try with markers after I get up." he suggests. she peers at him with an impatient expression.

"fine." although the word is venomous, she crawls up the bed until she's tucked beneath his arm and he kisses the top of her head. Matthew smiles to himself as he holds her, happy to have the whole day to spend with his kids. he hasn't had a day off in forever.

"should we make breakfast for you and your sister?" he asks cheerfully.

"yes!" she leaps up to stand on the bed, jumps around a little bit on the cushy mattress. "come on!"

"okay, okay," he chuckles, throwing off the covers. "let me brush my teeth first, sweetheart."

"I'm coming with." Juniper is insistent as she follows him. he takes out his toothbrush and toothpaste while she paws through her mother's makeup drawers and skincare. she grabs a bottle of perfume and examines it carefully. "what is this?"

"let's be careful with that." Matthew turns from the mirror, where he can see the rat's nest of hair on his head while he brushes his teeth, and gently puts the glass bottle back on the counter. Juniper crosses her arms.

"what is it?" she repeats. her father finishes up, then lifts her into his arms like she's a sack of potatoes.

"it's your mom's favorite smell." he clarifies. after kissing her little cheek, he walks into the kitchen with Juniper's arms wrapped around his neck. she clings to him like he is everything in the world, and he realizes that this is one of his favorite parts of the day. whenever he holds his daughters, he feels the kind of joy that simply can't be replicated. his heart overflows for them.  

"morning, sleepyhead." Y/N looks up from the counter, where she's biting into a piece of toast and talking excitedly to their other child, Autumn. Matthew grins at the sight of her, so beautiful when she's laughing with her daughter.

"morning." he's smitten.

"I have to go in a minute, but I figured you'd be able to handle a day with them?" she comes over to him and kisses his lips, saying the last part softly. Juniper leans her head on her father's chest, staring at her mother with those enormous eyes.

"with these two devils?" Matthew nods to the girls. "of course."

Y/N shakes her head with a laugh and gives each of her daughter's foreheads before grabbing her purse.

"bye, Mama!" Juniper and Autumn say in unison.

"bye, my angels. I love you very much." she smiles warmly, ruffling Autumn's silky curls before touching Matthew's arm tenderly and heading out of the kitchen. he watches her go, waits for the sound of the lock clicking into place, before he looks conspiratorially between the remaining household.

"who wants pancakes?" he smirks. their ensuing squeals are affirmation enough.  

...

"Dad, can I show you my ballet tutu?" Autumn surprises Matthew by grabbing onto his leg while he's making pancakes. Juniper is standing on a stool beside him, watching and helping to flip the flapjacks.

"nobody wants to see that, Autumn." Juniper scowls impatiently at her younger sister. Matthew turns to his little one and smiles.

"I would love to see your new tutu, sweetheart." he says. Autumn gives the other girl a triumphant look before running off to her room. when Matthew looks at Juniper, she blushes. "be nicer to your sister, Juni." he says gently.

the little scolded creature crosses her arms over her chest and turns her gaze to the pancakes. she knows she's not supposed to be mean, but sometimes Autumn is just so annoying. Matthew can't even pretend to stay mad for long, however, and offers the spatula to her.

"do you wanna flip it?" he smiles.

"yep!" Juniper quickly slides the utensil under the pancake, her father's hand guiding hers to make sure she doesn't accidentally burn herself. she's a smart girl, but she's inherited his lack of coordination (and his nose). they giggle together at the sound of the batter slapping the pan.

"dad, look!" Autumn tugs on the leg of his pants and he glances down to see her wearing a bright pink tutu over her leggings. his jaw drops open in wonderment, tinged with a smile.

"oh my goodness!" he gasps, hoisting her into his arms and burying his face in her curls. "you look just like a princess!"

she giggles. Matthew turns off the stove for a moment to spin her around in his arms before setting her down again and crouching to look at her. "can we see your dance routine after breakfast?"

Autumn nods shyly. he holds her tiny hand in his and kisses the back of it before standing back up. Juniper waits for him on her stool. they get back to cooking, both girls chatting about anything and everything while their father listens intently.

once they set the plates out on the table, Juniper volunteers to distribute forks and knives, and soon they've got a whole spread of golden brown pancakes, whipped cream, and fruit. they heap their dishes with food. the girls have a tendency to take more than they can actually eat, but that's okay. he loves the look of excitement in their eyes when they drizzle syrup over everything.

"nice job, kiddos." he nods, impressed, like they've made the whole meal themselves. both siblings grin back at him proudly. "let's dig in!"

he's hungry. Matthew cracks a couple jokes while they eat, pokes Autumn's stomach when she gets full halfway through her third pancake, and then both he and Juniper watch her do her ballet routine for them. she spins, twirls, smiles as she finishes the dance by throwing both arms into the air like she's won an Olympic gold medal. in his eyes, she has.

even Juniper is supportive and claps with a smile at her sister's achievement. although she teases and can be a bit too harsh with her younger sibling at times, the truth is that she's proud of her. it's evident in the way they play together in the summer, running around beneath the sun while Matthew and his wife sip on glasses of iced tea.  

"brava!" he cheers when she skips back to her seat at the table. "a royal performance!"

"dad, can we have more whipped cream?" Juniper eyes the canister on the table with hungry eyes. he mulls this over for a second, enamored with the fact that she is so clearly his daughter. down to her features and mannerisms, her tendency to crawl onto the couch and watch the scary movies with him that she probably shouldn't be watching at her age. Autumn looks more like her mother, sweet and optimistic. a dreamy expression on her face.

he grabs the canister from the middle of the spread and pops the cap off the top.

"only if you don't tell your mother." he laughs. Juniper shakes her head vehemently like a half promise and opens her mouth as he puts a pile of whipped cream in it. he does it to Autumn next, then himself. they lean back in their chairs, rubbing their bellies with satisfaction.

"yummy." Juniper grins.

"whipped cream is the best topping in the world," Matthew says matter-of-factly, passing down a pearl of knowledge that will stay with them forever. "don't ever let anyone tell you different."

the three of them clean the dishes together, blowing suds all over the room while they listen to Sam Cooke and dance. the house rings with their laughter and the sounds of feet hitting the ground in rhythmic elation, the kitchen their personal concert hall.

if he could only bestow a few life lessons on them, one of them would be the importance of listening to old music.

Matthew wishes that he could spend all his days with them, making breakfast and hearing their crazy ideas. the world is so full and open to them, he sometimes finds himself thinking about how they're going to conquer it. they've got a grittiness to them that they could only get from their mother-- an absolute sureness that stiffens their little spines-- and an imagination that could fill books with stories. he wants to paint for them, do everything for them.

but for today, they head to Autumn's room and play dress-up with the enormous chest of costumes by her bed. should he work on not spoiling her so much? maybe. he doesn't care. she's absolutely adorable when she hauls out princess dresses, doctors' jackets and stethoscopes, other disguises. he thinks she's going to be an actress; she loves to take on different jobs and throw herself into them, walking around the house ordering that her next patient be brought in or for someone to prepare her microscope. her mind is full of ideas.

Juniper pretends to be disinterested in dressing up, but she gives up the act once Autumn hands her a tiara to wear and pours her imaginary tea.

"what flavor is this?" Matthew takes a sip from his miniature cup, fanning his mouth like it's hot. "it's divine."

"it's normal tea, you cuckoo bird." Autumn giggles. she sets the teapot down on the plastic table.

"I'm a cuckoo bird?" he pretends to be offended. "you're a cuckoo bird!"

"no I'm not!" Autumn protests, but Matthew is already wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into his lap. he tickles her sides.

"you're the cuckoo bird!" he repeats through her fits of laughter. she squeals and kicks with joy until he sets her back on her feet.

"your hair is crazy." Juniper scolds. Matthew sighs and runs a hand through the unruly curls. they always tease him about it, and somehow it never gets old.

"probably because this one messed it up with her claws." he pokes Autumn's side and he suppresses a gleeful smile.

"Dad, you need a tiara, too." Juniper points to the empty spot on his head. "Autumn, get him one."

the younger sister looks like she's going to defy her sister's bossy demand, but decides against it and runs off to grab another bejeweled piece to place on her father's head. it's comical, the way the tiny thing sits.

"thank you, sweetpea." he smiles at his youngest, pinching her cheek before glancing between the two of them seriously. "how do I look?"

"silly." Juniper giggles. she straightens it out on his head and he wrinkles his nose.

"hey! boys can wear tiaras, too," he defends with mock attitude. "now, can I have more tea, please? I finished mine already."

"of course." Autumn stands diplomatically and pours him a new cup while they pretend to snack on baked goods. Matthew tells them about the new movie he's directing, dipping into his storyteller voice and wiggling his fingers with every mention of a spooky plot point. the girls sit at rapt attention, hanging on his every word, despite the fact that he's got a miniature tiara on his head.

they adore him, and every second he's there, they revel in it. they love their mother, too, of course. but days with their dad are just... different. he lets them eat whipped cream by themselves and tells them stories, kisses their foreheads and dances in the kitchen with them. they always have fun together, no matter how dreary the day is. and those feelings won't change as they get older; he's their rock, their security. he always will be.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I'm surprised people see Tadashi as the victim in his relationship with Ainosuke, when it's Tadashi the one who time and time again takes away Ainosuke's agency, without being able to see that he is throwing him unto unhappiness. I can't help but think that if Tadashi was not working at Shindo's house, Ainosuke would have maybe left or broke with the family. But he can't do that if he wants the relationship with Tadashi going on, seing how Tadashi is set on enforcing the family rules...

Hmm.. I def agree with the fact that Tadashi is not what most fandom makes out of him, my man (I mean, Adam’s man) is a 100% Slytherin. But I disagree with blaming him for this, after all the revealed info. The environment they were both raised in made their situation complicated.

I like Tadashi a lot, he’s probably my fav thing about this anime, bc he’s a dark horse, and I’m once again surprised, that so little ppl see him for who he really is, portraying him as an innocent puppy, which he is definitely not.

Now to why I think both Tadashi and Adam are victims of the dad and aunties in this situation. 

We can of course say “if only they told each other how they really feel...”, but like we can say it about any love story really. Every author knows it’s no fun. The truth is that yes, they both hurt each other, and yes, if they were honest about their feelings things would’ve been different, but as I’ve already wrote under that “toxic” commentary on YT, lets look at the whole situation from both of their point of views:

We know that Adam when he was little always treated Tadashi as an equal, he never ever thought of him as someone lower than him and after their fall out, the only reason for this “harsh” treatment (well, besides their confirmed kink) was that Adam tried to get a reaction out of him, so Tadashi would stand up for himself, bc Ainosuke got mad about Tadashi caving to his dad’s wishes and abandoning him, when he needed him the most. 

But now, knowing the fact that Tadashi was his dad’s secretary and was under his control, let’s see it from his perspective: Tadashi wanted to stay by Adam’s side, Adam’s dad implied that if Tadashi did say smth, he’s gonna be.. well, dismissed and they won’t see each other ever again. That’s what caused Tadashi to stay silent in that moment. Ainosuke instead saw this as a “he’s not on my side” thing, well, because. Tadashi won’t tell him his problem, bc dad and aunties control everything, so even if he does tell him, what a teen would do really? He didn’t have any powers back then to make his dad do anything. 

And that’s when it all gone to shit, since they both were hurt for their own reasons. It’s easy to say leave the family, but 1stly nobody explained to Adam still that he’s physically and psychologically abused by his family, he sees it as them “loving him” and sadly also loves them, bc nobody told him, that love wasn’t supposed to be like that really. He definitely feels that smth is not right and feels emotionally exhausted there bc of this treatment, but did he ever consider leaving? I really don’t think so. He feels obligated to be worthy of a family, who “loves” him.

Do you think, for example, that Akashi Seijuro hates his dad for what he did to him? No. Does he understand that he wasn’t at fault for what happened to him and that his dad instead of comforting his child after his mother’s death, who was his only safe haven, made everything worse? I don’t think he does. Like his mom gave him basketball, an escape from all that family’s obligations and strictness. After her death, it was the only thing left that brought him joy, but his dad ruined even that, saying that if he’s gonna be bad at it/lose, he’d take it away from him too. Does Akashi see this as emotional abuse? No, he sees it like “well, I have to be the best bc I was born in such powerful family, so if my dad says that I must be best at everything, then I must.”

I personally hate such parents a lot. To me it doesn’t matter if Adam’s dad didn’t know about aunties hitting his child. Like if he was too busy to notice this and have no time for his kid and made his childhood miserable, it doesn’t make it any better really. 

Same as with Akashi’s dad. Some are like “he was probably also grieving about his wife”. Emm? He was like this from the beginning, bc he treated Akashi not as his son, but as his heir. And yes, that’s different things. Same with Endeavor and Todoroki. Your child is not your post production thing.

2ndly they were too young, even if they knew about each others feelings and he didn’t feel obligated and told everyone to fuck off, they’d be on the streets now, but also Adam’s dad doesn’t seem like a guy who’d leave them alone really. Also eloping seems very romantic, but I don’t think it is, esp when you’re teens. Did you want him to sell some expensive watch and go live on Hawaii or smth? Bc finding a decent job there would be difficult at this age, esp with everyone knowing who your dad is. Chen Ke from “Antidote” survived bc he was 27 and had connections and some great friends. Adam was in high school, where would he go exactly?

Now let’s go back to now. Obviously all this time it didn’t even cross Tadashi’s mind that for Ainosuke he comes first and that he would throw everyone under the bus to make Tadashi stay with him. As we see at the end, he legit believed that Adam was planning to send him to jail and didn’t get that he said it just to shaken he up and that he knew who he’d set up for this from the beginning. 

To Adam obviously it doesn’t matter whether they’re in a quarrel or not, he would never him go. Yes, he’s mad at him, he’s angry and hurt, but Tadashi’s still the person he needs the most, he’s still the person who brightens his days, even tho he deliberately behaves like he annoys him. He always looks at him and looks at him and looks at him, but then hisses smth to hurt him. Bc he knows that he needs him, but he also hates that he needs him, bc he thinks it’s unrequited.

And that’s how their classic romance goes in hellish circles. No one wants to talk as usual. Adam is mad Tadashi is like that bc his dad turned him into a slave with no opinion, while Tadashi is scared that Adam would be taken away from him bc of his ugly family. 

Now I still think that no one and I mean no one can take Tadashi from Adam now, he is his precious. So my plan is... if Tadashi made aunties do smth against him or to get rid of him, aunties will go for sure. The problem is Tadashi still doesn’t get that he comes first, so we’re stuck in this hell still.

So anyways, my point is Adam’s heart basically sings “you got a hold of me, don’t even know your power” to Tadashi, but he doesn’t hear it, bc of his insecurities, the way he was raised and his status. But yes, he holds all the power. He’s both Adam’s sanity and insanity. No matter how cheesy it sounds he was basically his only ray of sunshine in the darkness, if you take it away, that’s what it leads to, that’s why Ainosuke-sama needs more ppl who care for him. I don’t want anyone to die next time, just cause Tadashi and Adam fought about where to put their new couch lmao. I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. And kill the aunties, pls seriously, we need to be free.

Also ppl need to remember that like lots of animes/characters are parcially inspired by some other animes/characters, also the chosen seiyuus are also very important, there are lots of stuff like jokes and references, that creators use, from characters being fully inspired by smth like “Assassination classroom” characters based on KNB, to little stuff like Levi dressed in Akashi’s uniform in chibi AOT bc Hiroshi Kamiya. Utsumi already said before stuff like she sometimes think of a perfect voice for the character and then fully forms him, we also know her clear love for sports animes. So yes, I doubt Tadashi/Kuroko thing is a coincidence and even tho someone was like “zone? is this knb or smth?” I was like no, zone is actually a common thing in sports, even tho most associate it with KNB including me, it’s not like its their invention, but there were things inspired by this for sure, and from other sports animes too and no, I don’t mean the basic sports anime tropes, I mean, like way too specific things, some character designes, too. And yes, Langa appearence and personality wise is a rinharu child for real, I can literally split his scenes in “that’s Haru”, “that’s Rin”.

That’s why I’ve said that this situation in fandom reminds me of Kuroko/Akashi situation a lot, bc same as here in KNB ppl for some reason automatically thought that Kuroko is this innocent sheep and Akashi is the wolf (but also like it was Akashi who chose to dress as red riding hood, while Kuroko was a wolf lmao), not even seeing who is in reality more dangerous and who can easily control who. It just buffles me bc it’s not some deep analisys really. I mean once again there’s a reason for the saying that the sub holds all the power over the dom. 

And like just bc someone yells or threatens ppl constantly doesn’t necessarily mean he is a psycopatic killer, and just bc someone is quiet and doe-eyed, doesn’t mean he isn’t. I didn’t think we needed to explain this to someone, but aparently we do?

And it honestly kills me just how superficially ppl are watching things these days. It really gives me war flashbacks to stuff like the last mdzs s1 episode, where ppl started to comment things like “how LZ can be so heartless” lmao. Or that anonymous ask “do you think haru misses rin?”. Like you don’t see thing at all? Grey substance no needed, while watching things?

P.S. I also would die to see Adam vs Tadashi race just bc I for some reason can bet all my money, that it’s the same situation as with Akashi refusing to ankle break Kuroko, no matter how mad he is. I just can’t imagine Ainosuke hitting Tadashi in the face with a board. Like 100% sure he wouldn’t even try tbh.

[aks3raao1]

You know, there's a thing with characters that foil each other and serve as the "good" and "bad" respectively (Toga/Himiko, Tenko/Izuku, Nagito/Hajime, Ryoko/Hajime, Atsushi/Akutagawa) but that trope felt rather annoying to write, especially in the world I am trying to write about (ALTERNATIVE's world is basically MHA X BSD but like. 1000 times more fucked up and the Specialised are always prejudiced against. A terrible lot).

The title itself, ALTERNATIVE is to symbolise Romila's POV of "infinite choices and paths present for every being" and how she starts off the story with a decisive line of,

"Many people ask me if this could have been avoided. They beg for me to tell them that things could have been better. There are others too, who try to justify that this was the only way for things to have been. If you ask me, both are living in states of denial. One can't accept the stupidity of humanity for disregarding common sense for violence and prejudices. Another can't accept humanity's choice for having better circumstances if the one with the power chose to."

The thing is, the running theme is that the story is a bittersweet one, despite there not being many deaths of the main characters, but there was always a junction where you can see it could have been avoided, that there was an "alternative" for things to have gotten better, especially in the first book.

Another reason for the title is that it's basically an "ALTERNATIVE" to this world of ours, where super powers and stuff like those exist.

The subtitles of both the books (Myriad of Colours, Colour of Death) signifies Romila's power, "Aura Tracker" which lets her view people's aura as colours (Myriad of Colours is to signify the different kinds of people she meets, Colour of Death is about what affects her the most (death) and how she's constantly seeing that colour everywhere, especially now that it's war).

The thing about ALTERNATIVES is that Romila could have chosen to be a doormat (like Koldin tends to be at the beginning (his rp self is like THAT due to circumstances different to ALTERNATIVE's actual storyline. Also because Hack's a nicer person to be around than Romila is) in order to nOt hAvE cOnFliCt™) to not get into conflict and put up a super nice persona for people but she didn't. She decided to focus on hanging onto her reasons for doing what she does and using it to create a caustic personality to shield herself because she knows that she will regret being a doormat (Her Despair takes the form of Koldin Hopkins).

Now Koldin could have certainly put his hatred for society at the forefront and taken a caustic personality but instead chooses to be nice. Because he doesn't want to become as hurtful as the rest, that's how he wants to disentangle himself from society. However he, like Romila (who just took standing up for herself to extremes), takes this to the extremes causing him to gain the personality of a nice boy™.

However this also goes into why they made the choices they did (which is what Romila realises during the Mansion of Death arc), because for Romila, she didn't really have the psychology for actually becoming a doormat (because a) Her mom wouldn't have it b) She hated to be called weak c) She didn't have anyone to fall back to after the inevitable consequences of being a doormat d) She felt that if she were to live with monsters, then it's easier to blend in by being one (this comes useful to her when she infiltrates into the Government) e) She saw doormats getting suicidal which frightened her) or not becoming fully caustic (since her standing up for herself wasn't. Liked. By. Anyone. And seen as aggressive and she basically went, "Well if they see me as bad, I will show them BAD" which led to her breakdown causing the incidents at the Mansion Of Death (especially a twisted hatred against Koldin for extremely understandable reasons).

For Koldin, being meek and peaceful had let him get by in the streets and his skills to difuse fights had come in handy. Later when Dr. Hopkins took him in, he was well. A member of the Radicals who were known to be extremely merciless towards the Specialised (he had defected but Koldin had a REALLY good reason to be wary) so he figured if he stayed nice, he wouldn't be kicked out of the house and Dr. Hopkins being Dr. Hopkins just assumed that it was his normal and that behaviour carried into school. He figured that it was a horrifying thing to be aggressive and then saw how Romila got treated and decided that yep, he was right, that confirmed his world view alright and it was more reason to be super nice. While Romila saw Koldin as a person who everyone took advantage of (a thing she hated. To be exploited just like that) and went, yep that confirmed hers and it was more reason to be super angry.

However the thing is that, Romila was chided for being anything, which caused her to just give up to be peaceful (because what would she do? Anything she tried to do got her scolded) while Koldin (thankfully) found a support system. It really goes to show the difference a good friend can do.....

As it is, when I first began writing this, the most obvious choice presented itself to me. Koldin is the "hope" and Romila is the "despair" (on the protagonist, deutergonist side) but that seemed stupid and boring as it wouldn't make sense. Since I am trying to make a point of showing with how Romila's world view gradually changes from "there are wrong and right choices" to the fact that it doesn't have to be rigid and that *now* she wouldn't be hurt if she used what her vulnerable side wanted (a world free of prejudices and unnecessary cruelty) with the talents she had. That kindness mixed with her usual personality won't literally kill her.

And for Koldin, being a doormat means that he got taken advantage of a lot by different people and since he refused to actually stand up for himself ("Ah...aha......it seems that I can't..." "Can't what?" "Feel angry for myself......it's always anger that comes from the ones I love being hurt" "Then love yourself too, you will feel angry again" ~ Koldin's conversation with his inverted self in the Labyrinth) he got. Taken advantage of. By virtually everyone. However he decided that if being nice would keep him keep his self and his name self then it would be fine. He did not want to be the source of grief (his actual parents tossed him out because of his Specialisation). The Mansion Of Death actually causes him to snap for that reason, because Romila literally puts him in a torture dream "for the greater good" and then proceeds to kill his dear friend. One thing Koldin HATED. Killing friends. (Due to them being run over by a car, which led to his paralysed left arm)

Now on the other side, their respective friends:

Romila:

Luja: Cynical and annoyed by people's stupidity but not to caustic extents and she wants to be a scientist and isn't haunted by the possibility of dying.

Kratanos: Full of anger and hatred against the world but not entirely blinded by it and is focused to using that anger for reformation of the world (she becomes a therapist later, to help people)

They both have her caustic parts but they also let themselves embrace another side which makes them her "balance".

Koldin:

Anand: Believes that there's no requirement for violence unless it's absolutely necessary.

Karishma: Figures it's a better idea to just listen to rules but doesn't hesitate to break them if she sees that they are bs

They both have his peacefulness, but don't hesitate to do what they think they should do, which makes them his "balance".

The point is that, the case of choosing alternatives isn't possible with a tunnel vision. Even so, there are choices that literally can't be made due to the individual and circumstances. Sometimes the choice is to choose more than one choice. Well, that's one dramatic storyline......

It reminds me of DDLC side stories since everyone has a bit of the other person's solutions and more of a opposite personality (don't take this the wrong way, there are many stories like that and it's honestly a favourite to think abt but it's just that DDLC does it well especially since it's only a school environment). Tbh, I like dramatic storylines that rlly dig deep into a character's perspective (reasons why I'm in love with Hack and Axel in particular). My whole thing is that I'd rather read a story with interesting and in depth characters than one where only the plot is good so I say you made the great call of the century with Koldin and Romila's characters.

What you thought before getting into it is rlly how every great character arc starts. You focus on one, somewhat forget the other one until you review every single character for inspiration and then BAM! PARALLELS! It's really admirable how, even in this messed up world of specializations, you didn't purely focus on the plot bc it honestly sounds interesting enough to just stick around for Romila's life and journey. You could have ended it all with just that, but no, you smacked Koldin in there and said "be my interesting on par character that can kick Romila's gut" and IT WORKED SPECTACULARLY!!!

I really love ur writing and hoping to one day read (and maybe print out) every story you've ever written bc GODDAMNIT I NEED THE FEELING OF THOSE WORDS ON WORN PAPER WITH AN ARTISTIC COVER AND AN AMAZINGLY HEAVY WEIGHT

Aka, paperback. Bc that's how I like to roll and that's how good I think it is. 1000% worthy of a bestseller

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Schooling

A/N: hi anon! From what you’re requesting it’s pretty obvious that you’re struggling a grave bit with schooling and as someone who has been there (literally, I changed my major five times), I want to assure you that everything always falls into place the way it should be. I believe in you! 

Also, as i was posting this I remembered that I don’t know how schooling works in the USA so I just wrote it from a Belgian perspective. 

Summary: could u do a richie x reader where reader wants to be a musician but their parents are forcing them into sum hard uni course, but the readers getting awful grades and then accidentally applies to a random easy program instead of the hard one and freaks out tht her future ruined, so richie convinces the reader she doesn’t need to worry bc she’ll be a famous musician instead

High school was not a thriving environment for you. You had your friends, the losers club, who you adored and couldn’t imagine your life without, but you were also bullied relentlessly, and you weren’t fond of the studying part of the school dynamic. No one is, supposedly, but compared to Stan and Ben – both possessing the motivation and drive to put it in the effort, and Richie and Mike who were effortlessly smart, you felt lost.

The idea of college was the only thing holding you up, the only motivation to get through your high school years. That musical course you planned on taking was a bright light at the end of the tunnel. In hindsight’s, you accumulated way too much pressure on yourself for imagining college to be this amazing place where you would get to thrive in life. The reality was a lot more grim.

The first problems arose in choosing your major. Your friends had all zoned in on one – or were getting close to at least-, but you were clueless about what the right thing to do was. There were worlds apart between what you thought would truly bring you joy in life, and what your parents were manipulating you into choosing.

Your parents, at least when you’re younger, have the biggest influence on your view on the world and the way you see yourself fit in it. When your parents pushed you towards a biology degree, and kept at it for months, you agreed.

From day one, you knew it had been a mistake. You shared a few classes with Stan, and those all went over fine -because you had a friend around that you needed to stay strong for-, but the moment you had your first class, a deep feeling of dread settled inside you. Despite not enjoying high school like some might, at that moment you hoped for a miracle to turn back time.

Tests passed by in a flurry, and as each one got progressively worse, your mental health followed suit. You were caught in a visions cycle of bad grades and bad emotions, and it drained you so bad that anything that could potentially have anything to do with school, like emails, send you into a frenzy.

The inevitable happens on a Wednesday after school. You wasted a lot of time thinking of what could be, and winded up at the school that organized the musical course. On the home page of the sight, there had been a test titled: ‘is our schooling up your lane?’, and you, snorting with irony, took it to be coy. They asked a bunch of personal questions, and you didn’t think anything of it, until you received and email to state that you had started your admission to the school. The month long building tension snapped, and you started crying hysterically. You weren’t sure what you had done and if it was even anything to worry about, but everything got to be too much, and you wanted your best friend with you.

Richie arrived a mere ten minutes after your phone call, and let himself in to your bedroom where you were still crying on the bed. Thank god your parents weren’t home.

‘What’s up with you?’ Richie asked incredibly, sinking down on his back next to you on the bed. You appreciated the lack of fake sympathy and pity.

‘Same old,’ was the only thing you could come up with to say. You didn’t know if you had the energy to rehash everything again.

‘Your schooling again?’

‘It’s my schooling everyday Richie. It’s important.’

‘Is it as important as hanging out with me?’ It coaxes a laugh out of you, but the lighthearted moment is quickly squashed. You can’t shut off your kind and live in the moment. With everything you do, the reality slams on you, never allowing you to have a break.

‘Yes Richie. I know that school doesn’t matter to you, but it does to me. My parents will kill me if they find out I applied to this course. Help me.’

Your leg begins to bounce, a sign that your anxiety is taking over completely. Richie can recognize the signs, as he himself displays them often.

‘Calm down y/n, you’ll just follow the music program and became a musician. I’ll pay you to be my support act, and all of the losers will come to watch us. It’ll be fine.’

‘For you maybe, but my parents will kill me when they find out.’ It’s true. Before you enrolled in biology, you had already hinted at maybe following a music path, and your mom had shut it down faster then you could even finish your sentence.

Richie snorts. ‘Your parents are mad at you all the time. Who cares, in a few years you’ll be out of there and you won’t have to listen to them ever.’

‘But-‘

‘Y/N/N, come on’, Richie interrupts cheerfully. He throws one of his legs atop your to stop your leg from moving. ‘You’re stressing over nothing. If you can tell Bowers to fuck if you can do anything.’

‘Well Bowers was nothing, he’s just pathetic. This’, you empathizes ,‘is my future Richie.’ You sigh, completely disheartened. Your pc screen is lit up, and you notice a new email pop up from your new school. You can’t take it, why can’t you have a few moments to collect your thoughts?

‘What if I’m not good enough?’ You ask him quietly, sagging against Richie for support. It’s now that your true stress comes out. Your parents views are a problem, but if you were truly convinced that you could do it, you would go against their wishes anyway. ‘What if I do this, and I have to hear about how disrespectful I am for years, and it doesn’t pay off?’

Cruelly, Richie laughs. That’s weird. Richie is never fully serious, he always has a way to alter a situation into something cheerful, but he’ll never be intentionally rude.

‘Please? Not being good enough? You’re the best musician I’ve ever seen and heard.’

‘We live in Derry, that’s not saying much.’

‘I mean it. My second favorite thing is listening to you with your instrument, my favorite is still fucking Eddie’s mom though.’ A mom joke while you were debating over your major was not something you were aiming for, but hey, it’s Richie. Are you really surprised?

‘What do I do if I fail?’

‘You won’t. But if you do, you can always do that one year school thing right? You have the rest of your life to do the adult thing, why not choose your happiness now?’

It’s profound in a way Richie isn’t often -and in a way that people don’t credit him enough-. He has a hard time being serious, but you know that once he is, he always tells the truth. Maybe this time, he is too.

‘You truly believe that?’

‘It’s as true as my wang is long.’

‘Gross’, you protest, but his words light a fire under u. It gives you a whole new wave of confidence, a way to see things from a different perspective. Why wouldn’t you go for it and take the chance? Why should you be stuck doing something you take no pride or joy in. Your parents will be a problem, but this is not the life they have to life. They have made their own decisions, and now it’s time for you to take yours. Are you willing to do something for the rest of your life simply for your parents approval?

Another email filters in, one to confirm your decision to enroll in the new major. Richie intertwines your hands, offering up more strength to do what you have to. With one last encouraging smile, you nod to yourself, and press accept.