#this is so painful and it doesnt feel like its ever going to get better
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead
#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere#i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art#but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely#certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like#university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government#i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour#party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead#also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be#idk#it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking#also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most#part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still#i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going#the way i wanna#I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life#if not then gap year to work it out#should probably look at unis for english language too then#sigh#ucas website i may as well marry you#ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up#yeah#shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical#they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices#crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that#why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine#bue waffling#vent post
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Brain is braining too much me thinks
#thoughts#oni talks#oni vents#I feel like I’m being torn between 2 futures and I know one isn’t really realistic and is a thing of the past but it’s also like#not only does it feel like giving up but it also feels like I’d have to face the fact that I can’t go back and unexperience some things#that changed me as a person and I know me wanting to go down that path is me trying to go back to when I first started feeling hope for#life again (if I ever had that tbh) & it’s meant so much to me for so long and like I know that I 100% would not be able to have achieved#any of what I’ve achieved now if I hadn’t started that first path. the fact that the second one is even an option is because of the first.#I also wonder how much is on me & it compounds in the severe regret I’ve been having about some recent stuff in my life along with recurrent#realizations and nightmares of the past haunting me & just. it’s so painful I know maybe I’m being dramatic and there’s a possibility that#in the future if it will work out and I can have my cake and eat it too but I genuinely don’t know how realistic that is to achieve#I want to be able to recapture the feelings I had before but there are certain experiences that so thouroughly crushed the person I had#finally begun to build up that I don’t know if that’s truly possible & if I just have to accept that I need to change to face who I am now#I’ve been really stuck recently when it comes to getting better and I know why but I’ve also blocked out so much of it that it’s just like#hard to even work through things you just want to forget and act like they never happened because that’s easier & logically I know it doesnt#work that way but it still feels painful. I feel the weight of my mistakes on my shoulders again. & it’s been resulting in what I know is#a lot of self sabotage & I feel like I should be better than this but I’m not I feel like I’ve regressed & like it wasn’t that long ago that#I literally felt like I was a kid again it was so surreal and strange & gross & I just hate so much of what’s happened in my life but I also#know there’s a lot of good that’s come from it & so it’s hard to process all these awful things when I know if they weren’t there the stuff#that I do love wouldn’t be either. it’s really hard to hope for a future I’ve never experienced. I’ve been meeting so many new people & its#reminded me of how anxious I actually am as a person bc normally I don’t have to face that bc I am by myself or in specific scenarios I’ve#cultivated to be tolerable & i feel like I keep learning things about myself or my experiences that I just don’t want to learn or to exist#& it’s frustrating bc there’s also so much pressure not just from myself but other ppl that I want to be able to pull through & do things#I know are probably not the most realistic but then a part of me is angry at myself at being a coward & wondering if I’m just awful & broken#I’ve been trying to fight back in what ways I can and the results have (usually) been really good but they come with their own prices#I hate how easy it’s become to simultaneously prefer escapism while not feeling like things are bad enough or that there is no escapism#I hate that I keep having moments where I get things and then I just fall again & Ik I’ll get there eventually but I’ve lost so much hope#that I don’t know if it’s even possible to ever get back. the last year or so is just so many ups and downs and new things and idk#I feel so torn because this is a future I foresaw and even wanted at some point and now it feels so heavy & costly & I just feel#like I’m evil & irredeemable or smth & every time I get told the opposite a part of me immediately can’t accept it especially
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Your breakup really really reminds me of my first (and only) wlw relationship/breakup everything you're saying hits home a lot. You will get through it but tbh it's so hard to heal and it still grinds my gears when I think about her and how we broke up. Idk if that helps but I understand what you're going though
YEAH MAN ITS TOUGH OUT HERE FR!!! its not my first queer relationship but like something about this is genuilnely the most world-shattering romantic experience ive had cuz we went into this soooo head over heels for each other like we were literally moving SO fast. and at the time i was like is it ok for us to even be moving this fast (probs tmi but we were literally making out shirtless by like 2nd time we even made out) (probs not a big deal to most people but i experienced a LOT of new things with her that id never experienced befoer & the fact that i was so WILLING to do it so fast was what surprised me the most) but then i was like okk whateverrr i really like how fast we're moving. and i was like 'damn if were moving this fast & if im feeling so good it has to end soon right like theres no way life is going to let me just be happy w this' and then i was like 'no elts not think about it' and then what do you know 5 months later she brekas up w me. and neither of us did anything wrong but it was so random??? like i dont understand how one moment shes telling me how excited she is to spend the entire semester with me and then literally 36 hours later tell me shes not feeling an emotional connection but wont even give us the chance to work it out. i know she also broke it off for personal reasons but its like... this was something we could have TRIED to work out you know!!! maybe it wouldnt have worked in the end but literally nothing felt off to me at all & if id known she was feeling this way i wouldve done my best to make things better. the entire breakup was so sudden and honestly im really not mad at her because i know how nerve-wracking it is to be in your first relationship. i think its just that im really dispapointed she gave up on us so easily you know??? didnt even give us a chance to figure it out
#sorry you didnt ask for a rant but man im not even going to lie the main reason i even rant about this on tumblr is cuz its so much easier#than talking to my friends#not cuz theyre not kind & underestanding and stuff. i mean just generally ive always been better at saying things by writing anonymously#like i never cry on my friends but this was the first time ive ever done that and even then#every time i tell someone i broke up with her i generally dont feel anything i feel like im just retelling a story#other than that one time i cried on my firend#like its just so much easier ranting on tumblr than telling my friends. also if eel really bad ranting to my friends#cuz i know they care abou tme but also like how much of 'i want her back' are they going to take yk??#every time i get tipsy i start complaining about how much i miss her and these past few weeknds my friends have heard an earful of tipsy me#like i jstu dont wnat to burden them like that#but yeah anyway. i feel you anon this shit is so hard#and i feel like the other thing is when its a hetero-presenting relationship friends find it easier to be like 'fuck him / her!!'#and obviously thats not always going to make the person feel better cuz EVERYONE is complex but in a way its nice feeling that support from#friends. but my dating experiences have always been queer and i feel so guilty any time someone says 'fuck them! youre out of their league'#because like the thing about queer dating is i feel so much more understood and it all feels so much more intimate#and when you cant even get a 'fuck them' from your friends it just feels so alienating in a way#idk how to explain it#obviuosly if the ex is a cheater then its valid to be 'fuck them' but in my case none of them have cheated & theyre both very copmlex peopl#weve all done probelmatic things to each other yk#i think its just like. how am i suposed to get over her when our relationship doesnt feel like it should have ended at all#like it was NOT our time!!! NOTHING felt off or wrong or anything!! i thought we were really happy!!#i think she broke it off in part because she was afraid of the moment things went wrong but man this hurts much worse#cuz at least if things started going wrong it would make SENSE to break it off. but BEFORE things go wrong? this pain just feels unnecessar#anyway heres to hoping my insta stories trying to look hot convince her that she messed up and she should totally date me again#and well live happily ever after for at least a few more months#anon tag#asks
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why have these last years fucking sucked ass
#slimey-vents#trigger warning below hi did you drink water today and eat something i hope u did ur so cool and amazing pls get some rest gives u a cookie#please scroll past if uninterested i also dont want u to feel obligated like u have to read n listen to me vent and ramble on abt dumb shit#like 2020 - 2024 . have just been ass .#we're not even halfway into 2024 and it already is just#garbage . like its fucking horrible#i dont see how this year could get . any worse ?? but i wouldnt want to get my hopes up on that itll get better ?#like god what has been happening .#covid came up technoblade got cancer and passed away israel's continuing their mass genocide#and a lot of things have happened in my personal life . such as my mother passing away .#and . its just been so fucking hard ??#i wish i had lasting hope in humanity . but tbh i dont think its ever gonna get any better and that really fucks w me#ive been having suicidal thoughts and ive just been in a very shitty mental state recently#like social media#is honestly the only thing i have to live on#i have honestly boring friends n all my friends dont go to my school . my gf doesnt even go to my school#ive had to switch schools after having a fun time and doing a lot better . the only thing that im holding on by a thread to is social media#all my friends . my fandoms . etc . i talk to through my phone and through here#im so glad to have met everybody that i have on here#im sorry this is getting really long ive started going on a ramble but i just want everyone to know that i love yall /p#i appreciate everybody so much . all my moots and my close friends that ive made not only here but irl as well#and everybody that ive talked to throughout the time we've known each other . i really just want to think that everything will get better#everybody that ive met through my years of social media and school have really changed my life . and idk what i wouldve done#having never met any of them . especially my moots on here that ive grown close to#its just been stressful . but ive strived to get through it all . despite how hard it is#and how desperately i just want to let go from everything#but ending one thing doesnt end any pain it just gives it on to someone else#and i know that im way too pussy to end anything anyways .#but on another note .#please remember that you are amazing . talented . strong . and i appreciate and ily so much . /p
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#back to being depressed rn mN i feel like my health was bad back im 2019 but like#i still had hope about me#i feel like ive lost all of it and im so tired of everything#i cant even read that fic im just so depressed and tired and i dont want to keep being so hopeless and miserable#im not living rn im just existing and even that is too much when i know im not gonna get anywhwre in life#my chronic illnesses and pain have been kicking my ass the past 5 years and i miss feeling human and alive evem if it hurt#now im justl like a ghost or something performing humanity very poorly#i got like no friends and can barely take care of myself#my life has only ever gotten worse by the year since age 11#like i saw a post earlier about how 'it gets better after ur done with teens and college age' but ive only declined my whole life#i feel like ive never even lived#im just tired#vent#delete later / /#am i even real like lol i feel like i dont exist honestly its just a dream or something#i shouldnt have attempted my therapy homework i know im bottling things and its spilling over but#it doesnt help to talk about the thing that happened it just makes it worse#fuck ok i need to try and just sleep before i really breakdown#depression#sorry idk what to tag i need to go
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inner mono-dialogue
the more time i spend being davepeta with you the more i realize almost every single problem in my life was caused by my obsession with being this unfeeling cool dude
but youre cool already
like in the way that actually matters
youre chill and friendly and just nice and thats all there is to it
youre shamelessly yourself even if everybody around you is a jackass and gives you shit for it
youre similar to jade and john in that way
i really envied that about them
but its different actually being at the control panel and feeling where that earnesty comes from
it makes me wanna match your energy and keep that pawsitivity ball rolling even if it ends up being weird or cringe or whatever
fuck man do you know how exhausting it is building yourself social hoops to leap through all the time and when you trip up even once its suddenly the end of the world
what kinda dumbass does that its like dealing with life in hard mode for no reward
fuck that noise
i like your way better
Nepeta's heart burns and shines inside you.
:33 < thank you :))
:33 < but you know
:33 < i dont think doing things your way is unrewarding
:33 < its like
:33 < a shield!
Dave scrunches up with discomfort.
X33 < i dont mean that in an insulting way!
:33 < the fact is that shields are just purractical sometimes
:33 < it doesnt make you cowardly to hide behind one
:33 < in the same way that it isnt cowardly for a predator to hide in the bushes when stalking prey
:33 < its just a way to make sure you dont get hurt!
:33 < purrsonally i found shields too cumbersome
X33 < im a hunter after all!
:33 < and i guess maybe the same goes for my personality
:33 < its not really that im purrticularly brave for being myself
:33 < i just didnt have a say in the matter in the furst place!
:33 < honestly if i had a choice i would have loved to be more like you dave
:33 < you can befriend people almost effortlessly
:33 < and its beclaws youre also just a nice person
Dave recoils in surprise, but Nepeta passionately pushes forward.
:33 < fur real! i f33l it inside you! theres a really strong sense of empathy there
:33 < its just like mine! just smarter, and a bit more analytical
:33 < whenever we encounter someone mew, its like i f33l you lock onto them, and you gather so many insights into their purrsonality without even trying
:33 < and you can use that to bond with others without giving every part of you away
:33 < which unfortunately
:(( < i never really knew how to do
Nepeta sours with unpleasant feelings. Your brows scrunch together with both pain and sympathy.
Nepeta has a big and complex heart. She tried her best to keep it from spilling over, but it always did in the end. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing when your friends dismissed your hobbies or focused in on your strange quirks. It was embarrassing when they revealed they knew about your crush on Karkat that you'd worked so hard to hide. And it hurt whenever he would say mean things about you. He and anyone else.
But you always puffed out your chest and sucked it up. You stuck to your guns no matter what. Because it was fun! The things you liked, the people you liked, were fun, and they made you feel good. Why couldn't anyone else see that? And why did it seem like they never gave a single thought to who you were?
You curl in on yourself. Your chest hurts. You suddenly really miss Equius.
And you miss Rose. You miss Jade. You miss John and Karkat and Aradia and Tavros and Terezi and all the others. You miss all the people you can go outside and see whenever you wish, and you miss all the people that you have no hope of ever seeing again. You feel the choral echo of all the times you've ever felt this need for comfort, this thrumming pain searing hot inside you, like hunger wracking your stomach.
You clench your teeth. You remember being on your bed, curled in blankets, not having eaten a proper meal in days. You remember holding your stomach and sneaking to the kitchen, turning your shoulder at every step to look fearfully behind you, only for your fingers to falter hopelessly on the handle of the refrigerator, knowing there was nothing for you inside.
You shake with anger. You know that feeling. The feeling of being chased by something much bigger than you, a hulking silhouette of menacing strength following your scent through the thicket. You'd clutched a beast carcass to your chest, barely breathing as you stalked clumsily through the trees, performance wavering from exhaustion and hunger.
You'd almost died. You'd almost died often. And then after escaping death so many times, it one day claimed you. Casually. Unflinchingly. And the world beat on without you, leaving you stunned by your own insignificance. You'd looked out onto every preceding moment of your life, wondering if there was anything to truly be proud of in the face of your friends accomplishing all these fantastical things. You'd felt lonely before, but after that, you were truly walled off from every single person you knew.
And now, despite everything, you're alive again. Twofold, together with someone.
A warmth coats the ache inside your body. The two parts of you swirl together, feeling and tasting each other, trying to understand themselves.
It feels like a hug.
#davepeta#davepetasprite#davepetasprite^2#davesprite#nepeta leijon#davenep#art#writing#homestuck#i wrote this a few months ago#reread it recently and decided to trim it down and share
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percy x zeus!gf hcs pls!!! and could i request it to be more on the funny side and how percy and zeus have beef but also get along cuz of gf
ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.
percy jackson dating hcs ! ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
pairing: percy jackson x daughter of zeus!reader warning(s): little bit of swearing an: hi! ty for requesting <3 im literally not even funny but i hope u enjoy thissss! also theres a lotta taylor in this one 🤭
BIG REPUTATION BIG REPUTATION OHHH YOU AND ME WE GOT BIG REPUTATIONS AHHH
it doesnt matter if youre a social butterfly or antisocial, everybody knew you and percy before you even started dating
so best believe when you actually got together, everybody ( literally ) cheered
but your flirting era had to be on of the most painful things to watch
seriously doesnt matter if you got game or not, percy is literally oblivious and a LOSERRRRR
im so sorry but somebody had to say it
bro had THE BIGGEST crush on you and whenever he'd try to like compliment you itd usually sound a little weird
tell me why he'd probably say something like
"i like your outfit today! that shirt for sure looks better with those jeans than it did with the shorts you wore 2 weeks ago :)"
lil creep
cue silena crying in the corner because she made a bet with beckendorf and it is NOT looking good for her right now
WE NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE.
you guys are iconic
like well-known power couple
I'D be scared to train with you guys cause like what do you MEAN i gotta go against the best swordsmen at camp and the daughter of the king of the gods??
no thank you, i choose life ♡
when people are asked to think of a couple, they immediately think of you guys
everybody loves you guys for real
if you ever broke up ( which you wont, percy would probably just say "no" ) itd probably leave everybody super torn
ITD BE LIKE IN GILMORE GIRLS WHEN LORELAI AND LUKE BROKE UP AND THE WHOLE TOWN LIKE TOOK SIDES
if you havent watched gilmore girls, that basically sums the situation up. lorelai is literally like the town's sweetheart and luke is the owner of the most popular diner in their small town ♡ very cutesy
so sorry for the spoiler
SALLY LOVESSS YOU
she's literally so sweet and treats you as if you were her own child
she'd definitely bake cookies when you first meet and if you liked them, you best believe you are being sent back to camp with a baggie full of cookies
cant love you as much as percy does though !!
youre literally his queen
( sorry i say literally a lot )
he treats you like royaltyyyyy
always opening doors for you, walks you everywhere, follows the sidewalk rule, everything ♡
when its raining, he picks you up bridal style and takes you wherever you need to go, so you dont get your shoes wet ♡♡
yall literally live in the rain tho
neither of you leave your cabin with an umbrella, the rain just gives you life
AND I DONT KNOW WHY BUT WITH YOU ID DANCE IN A STORM IN MY BEST DRESS FEARLESS
one time, you went out for a fancy dinner, got dressed up all nice very fancy very fancy
BUT you BOTH forgot to check the weather
and it ended up POURING rain by the time you got out of the restaurant
and i kid you not
percy just grabs you by the hand, leads you out into the rain, and begins to dance with you.
no coverage, no music, no fucks given. just him and his girl.
he treasures that moment forever and ever
all the gods looked down at you from olympus and melted
neither of you care if you're disrespecting your fathers, you spend almost every night together ♡
percy is absolutely a big cuddler
literally just adores the feeling of you close to him
oh lord save him his drug is his baby he'll be using for the rest of his life
falling asleep together is so easy, you just melt into each other's touch
waking up is what's harder
neither of you want to leave the bed, and neither of you want the other person to leave the bed either.
percy's the typa guy to just have a sweet little conversation with you before he gets up for the day
you always get a good morning ( and a good night! ), then percy asks you what's on your schedule for the day ( as if he hasn't memorized it by now ), and what you wanted for breakfast that morning
he simply cannot get up without it
he's also the type of guy to just whisper sweet nothings into your ear if he wakes up before you ♡
he just goes on a little ramble about how pretty you look when your sleeping, even though you are sleeping while he's 'talking' to you
sorry where was i?
ZEUS.
the bastrard HATES percy and percy HATES the bastard
theyve literally been beefing since he was 12 years old
so best believe when zeus found out his daughter was dating this son of poseidon??? oo he was PISSEDDD.
poseidon is literally so chill with you. like he just cares that percy is happy. seriously doesn't care about who your dad is. if anything, he already sees you as family
zeus holds back everything in him to not kill percy on the spot every time you make out
he doesn't do it because he knows you'd probably walk to the underworld to get him back and hades would go feral if he got another orpheus & eurydice
percy gives zero fucks. he flips off the sky every time he walks outside
percy is so sweet and caring and kind and shows your father such respect like hes literally an angel 😇😇
i wouldn't say that he starts like actually respecting him, but he tries not to offend him as often as usual, just for you ♡
in the scenario that you'd have to make a trip to olympus, percy and zeus put on their big boy pants and try to tolerate each other
hera dont like you or percy bro she's literally just there
its okay though, you both despise her for kidnapping percy and wiping his memory ♡♡♡
JASON AND THALIA HOWEVER
thalia would definitely be the dramatic dad that zeus cant be (in person, at least)
whenever she and the hunters stay at camp she ( jokingly ) tells percy
"jackson, i want her home by NINE PEE EM. no later. i expect you won't be drinking, and you will be TAKING CARE OF HER. in the instance that i hear you DONT, i think you'll be taking a second trip across the river styx, you hear me?"
in like an sergeant voice and everything
percy plays along with it and salutes her going "yes ma'am!"
jason thinks you are so cute together
since you were at camp when the whole switcheroo thing happened, jason knew you first, and you were instantly best buddies
you told him about percy, and once he met him, he was happy to find out he was exactly like you described him
jason and thalia are ur #1 supporters ♡
in summary, alexa play that should be me
#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackson x reader#pjo x reader#heroes of olympus x reader#hoo x reader#percy jackon and the olympians#heroes of olympus#percy jackson x you#by bells ♡⋆ ࣪.#seaweed brain ⋅˚₊‧𓇼
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ok no i need to bitch because i have remained positive and hopeful throughout most of !!-era because i believed that happyele loved their characters and wouldnt deliberately go out of their way to butcher them but time and time again i have been proven wrong on this fact. and seeing the way theyre doubling down on having ibuki, a ryukyuan kid from okinawa, join a traditional "wa" japanese unit that embraces mainland japan traditions when the mainland has continuously tried to make okinawa theirs and disregard the ryukyuan identity WHILE ALSO LITERALLY HAVING EICHI COLONIZE OKINAWA IN ATLANTIS its all just becoming too much. I am no expert when it comes to these topics so do not take my word when it comes to jp culture, conflict and the likes, but knowing how poorly happyele has continuously time and time again treated their indigenous (or middle eastern in adonis's case) cast i cannot see this going well. Not to mention how having ibuki join akatsuki goes against everything the three of them have built up and the whole POINT of their unit and that for them to even fucking put this garbage in the story they had to make keito PAINFULLY ooc to pull it off because NO OTHER REALITY WOULD ALLOW IT!!!!! theyre taking akatsukis developments and throwing it out the window in an attempt to make them something "new" and more profitable while also using a beloved group that so many have spent so much of their time loving and supporting into nothing but a scapegoat for their imperialist propaganda im so unbelievably angry that theyre doubling down on this. im so angry that theyre stupid enough to let shit like this pass
and im sure youve probably read posts explaining the aktk thing better than i ever couldve, esp considering im not an aktkP, but im also writing this to tell the fans of big units to Stop Giving In. do not feel safe just because happyele is scared of losing you, because I used to be an undeadP before getting into switch and the reason i STOPPED producing them was because they viewed the unit as nothing but a money-maker machine and would completely disregard their developments for the sake of feeding into tropes that fans liked and they cared more about yaoibait than they did the characters themselves. They tossed out any growth rei and ritsu had in opperetta for the sake of bringing back sakuma brothers conflict in that painfully annoying la mort story and theyre gonna keep doing this shit until fans tire of it. valkyrie, eden and knights are three super popular units with upcoming events, and i seriously need you to not give happyele any of your time or money because they do not deserve it.
even with switch, a rather unpopular unit, theres been total garbage pulled. in switchs case i think its safe to say that akira does genuinely really care for natsume and tsumugis relationship considering thats basically all that man even includes in his switch stories, but he never really knows what to do with sora. And i feel like he doesnt really care. Like sure i can sit here and be like "well at least MY favs seem to be doing alright" but thats purely because they keep spoon-feeding us crumbs of the units popular ships so we wont complain. i still really like their dynamic and i strongly disagree with alot of fans saying natsume and tsumugi have been OOC lately, but like. Look at sora man. i dont mind him having a little gf in the virtual world, i dont mind him growing more independent, i dont mind him relying less on his synesthesia. but the executions are just. Theyre painful. with the synesthesia thing esp bc synesthesia doesnt just go away. You couldve easily made a simple point of "you cant always rely on your synesthesia to know how people feel" because that is TRUE! but that would de-fetishize this idea these people have of synesthesia being some Magical Ability and not just a neurological condition. And with the sora being more independent; this is also something thats been needed for his story! natsume and tsumugi would often coddle him way too much, and sora himself would complain about being treated as a kid. But like. sora has started to feel so disconnected from switch in a way.....? and this has even been a point of conflict in stories, sora not knowing how to partake in ntmgs conversations because theyre too difficult, or being sad that ntmg never have time to hang out with him. But instead of working on these things, they just. keep having sora hang out with people outside of natsume and tsumugi? who have practically become a package deal at this point?? literally having sora join a NEW UNIT without natsume or tsumugi????????? i dont know. im rambling but i just wanted to get this out there. Theyre my specialest guys in the whole entire world and i just want to make people more cautious of thinking "well the aktk thing wouldnt happen to MY fav unit! they wouldnt butcher MY favs!" because they very much can. even if theres an aspect youre still hooked on, other factors are visibly crumbling because management cares only about what will bring the most revenue, and not what is best for the character
i cant help but feel the reason theyre pulling this shit with akatsuki is because they felt as though they somewhat got away with it with Double Face and raked in some extra cash because kohaku ended up popular, so now theyre doing that again but taking it to the next extreme. its disheartening
anyway. i will continue to draw and enjoy ensemble stars. But i wont be supporting them financially anymore as they clearly do not care about fans at all. if i desperately want some merch ill just buy it second-hand. And while im at it, i need you people to stop telling enstarries to get into some other idol franchise instead as if the main problem here isnt how disgustingly predatory they are. Happy Elements were THE biggest joseimuke franchise, making the most money out of all their competitors, and it still wasnt enough. they still didnt respect their fans. when the fans would continuously respect their wishes. Enstars is like the only fandom ive seen that doesnt share leaks for example, yet this courtesy means nothing to them. Corporations arent your friends, never have been and never will be. those characters arent real, they do not have feelings of their own. They were all written by someone to serve a purpose, and this includes ibuki being an indigenous kid joining the wa japanese culture unit. To use this popularity to spread so much fucking bigotry and hatred is heartbreaking. And to blame the fans for being upset over it????????????? youre disgusting happyele.
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Hello, if it's alright, could I request a Toby, Slenderman, EJ, and Jane the Killer x reader (separately) in which the reader (in most cases) doesn't know that they're injured until they look down at the injury? Not exactly to the extent of cipa, but more like they don't feel the pain or even notice it until they look down and see the injury.
If not that's ok too. Either way, have a good day!
Various crps x injured!reader who doesnt realize theyre injured
idk if theres a term for it but this happens to me sometimes </3 the amount of times id randomly find bruises or cuts and start feeling the pain as soon as a acknowledge the injury hisshiss characters: ticci toby, slenderman, jane the killer, eyeless jack notes: reader is gn cws: mentions of injuries
SLENDERMAN
he almost has a sixth sense when it comes to you, so its likely that he knows youre hurt before you do... though to be fair, with how long it takes you to notice that isnt... very impressive/lh
he does not wait for you to actually notice the damage, he goes into caregiver mode- taking you to clean the wound if its open and wrapping it if needed
does not have any answers for why you dont notice the pain at first but thats mostly because hes not skilled or educated in that sort of thing- you can only learn so much by observing others from far away and living in the woods
TICCI TOBY
you both passively lean into one another to keep track of the others wounds; you dont notice yours for a while, and neither does toby- though your scenarios arent exactly the same, you help each other take care of any nasty wounds that could get nastier if left untreated
in a way he finds himself relating to you on some level, because even temporarily you dont feel pain- you both may end up talking about your experiences
that being said, the two of you may not take cuts and bruises as seriously as you should because "well i can still function/i didnt notice the pain before- so its fine!" mentality, its... not the best way to go about things...
EYELESS JACK
headcanon that he was into medical stuff before getting all goopy and cannibalistic, so even if he doesnt immediately know whats going on he can cook up some theories-
that being said hes going to get onto you for leaving wounds uncleaned and uncovered, and will make it a habit to check over you every now and then to make sure youre not hurt... looks in places that are hard to look (back, neck, stuff like that)
always keeps a pack of Band-Aids/bandages on him at all times for general use, keeps other stuff at his place for worse injuries- disinfectants and needles to stich things up- hopefully it wont ever have to come to that, though
JANE THE KILLER
if youre the type to joke about your wounds to make the atmosphere lighter, its not going to work on jane... not because shes worried (okay... she is....) but because shes just.. not amused by that sort of humor
like jack, shes going to be stern and make sure youre taking better care of yourself and taking the time to look over yourself, as well as teaching you basic first aid if you've decided to skip over that
does not try to control you, shes not going to stop you from getting into a fight or doing something a little risky (within reason, if the situation seems too.. intense... itd be different), because even despite your little... situation... she has enough trust in you not to get mortally wounded
#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#creepypasta imagine#crp x reader#crp x you#crp imagine#slenderman x reader#slenderman x you#slenderman imagine#jane the killer x reader#jane the killer x you#jane the killer imagine#eyeless jack x reader#eyeless jack x you#eyeless jack imagine#ticci toby x reader#ticci toby x you#ticci toby imagine#canon x reader#canon x you#x reader
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i told y’all. i told y’all i was gonna go crazy over this post made by @gummy-goat-galaxy
full disclosure i drew literally all of this before looking into the details of the AU so this is 70% my interpretation of his original post but i need to explain my thought process so. here’s the post explaining the details of the actual AU!!! and below is what my brain made up on the spot
ok so belos finds tiny child luz and is like “fuck everyone. this is mine now” and treats her like a goddamn princess. to him, she is a Gift From God to remind him to stay on his Righteous Path. an innocent little girl who is just so bubbly and always tries to see the good in everything, including him. she is a reminder of how Pure and Good humanity is, and seeing as though she’s the literal only human he’s had any contact with besides caleb in 400 fucking years, he is never letting the demon realm corrupt her like it did to him.
she’s basically his Lamb and he the Shepherd, and because he’s so desperate to keep her “““pure”““ he strictly keeps her within the castle and even then not all of the castle is available to her. he keeps her contact with witches to an absolute bare minimum.
he entrusts her protection specifically to hunter, despite the fact he’s only 2 years older. his reasoning is “caleb did a pretty good job raising me so this’ll be fine probably.” when belos himself cannot keep an eye on her, it’s hunter’s job. luz and hunter end up being raised in a sorta similar situation to catra & adora from she-ra but they are actually siblings and not just best friends.
(if u havent seen she-ra, basically its their abusive caretaker creating a golden child + scapegoat dynamic, where one kid can do absolutely no wrong (which doesnt mean they cant still be abused/manipulated!!) while the other kid is blamed for literally everything that goes wrong. the caretaker also regularly pits them against each other to encourage competition & keep the all power in the caretaker’s hands.)
similar to catra & adora, the whole competition thing doesnt really work. luz is just too damn kind and too damn good for hunter to ever resent her, and she’s all he really has. because hunter is the scapegoat, he grows wise to belos’s manipulations WAY sooner. it’s easier to figure out when you’re being mistreated when you literally watch ur guardian treating ur sibling so much better than how they treat u.
unfortunately, because luz cannot help but see the good in absolutely everyone and can be empathetic to a fault, she doesnt realize belos’s game until she ends up sneaking out of the castle. she actually really loves belos and is thankful for him taking her in for a long time. she calls him uncle like hunter, despite belos nudging her towards seeing him as a father bcus he sees her as a pseudo-daughter. (but luz remembers her dad, and has no desire to replace him with someone else no matter how much she cares for belos)
belos does love & adore luz, he would do almost anything to keep her happy and “innocent” and “pure”, but not to the extent that he could still end up redeemed. he still manipulates & subtly emotionally abuses her to keep her in line, but it’s only when she sneaks out and meets eda the owl lady does she start getting clued into this. and once luz learns what belos has done to hunter it’s all fucking over.
hunter loves luz. she is his sister and always will be. but while he’s stuck to belos because of his duties as golden guard, she sees how green the grass is on the other side and doesn’t even hesitate to hop over there. watching her slowly grow more and more distant while she keeps sneaking out to visit with her new friends (eda, king, willow, gus, amity, etc.) is one of the most painful things hunter has had to deal with.
he feels betrayed at first, as if luz is replacing him with other people who arent broken like he is, and when luz actually leaves for good- belos lies to the public and says she was kidnapped- hunter is the one who leads the hunt to find her and bring her back home safely. when they confront each other, luz tries to do her whole dramatic speech about how wrong belos is and how he’s been lying their whole lives, but hunter already knows. the only reason he stayed was for luz, but she couldnt even stay from him? it fuckin hurts man.
they end up on opposite sides for a minute. hunter gains no satisfaction from trying to ruin this new life she’s found for herself but goddamnit, he has a job to do. he cant just defect. and then he defects after watching belos try to kill luz because she’s let herself become corrupted by the witches.
thats about all my brain got for this so far. TL;DR basically just listen to the “first time in forever” and “mother knows best reprise” and “broken crown” by mumford & sons and thats pretty much the gist of it.
#the owl house#hunter toh#hunter#luz noceda#the golden guard#emperor belos#philip wittebane#hunter noceda#toh#toh au#the owl house au#ahhhh i dont wanna use the tag for the original creator's au bcus my interpretation isnt technically her au. but i also dont wanna seem like#im stealing her au or something#but i want a dedicated tag for this au including expansions on my initial thoughts#wahhhh#mine#2023#also she got no shoes bcus her vibe is sorta like. rose quartz/lapis lazuli from SU and neither of them wear shoes#well lapis does now but#you get it
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was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍
#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around#pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable#my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters#no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time#gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt#but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years#and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again#but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard#it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl#bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either#and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for#but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own#bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me#but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form#and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind#and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will#and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing#and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense#its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out#and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up#and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain#its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit#and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after#or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life#i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever#and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it#and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel#thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable
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thoughts post merlin season finale rewatch for the anniversary:
(let me preface that ive never cried to the finale despite me watching it twice and rewatching arthurs death scene several times— i definitely got emotional but never cried)
1.) …so i cried… from the beginning of the episode… i just hated how gwen never got a proper goodbye from arthur and was aiding all of his men, wondering where he was and if he was okay😭 and then later on, when leon tells her that arthurs missing and she turns around and silently cries, but quickly recovers… that was SO heartbreaking. she just keeps going and cries to herself like she deserved so so so much better and i hate that she never got closure
2.) i know that merlin has really truly become emrys but im not sure if it was necessary for dragoon to be his Final Form. i didnt watch the first part so maybe i missed the importance of that, but i feel like the scene would’ve been so much better if merlin looked like himself and casted all those badass spells and everyone would see him
3.) WHEN ARTHUR WAKES UP TO MERLIN AND THE FIRST THING HE SAYS IS “merlin, where have you been?” IM NOT OKAY??? it wasnt “merlin, what are you doing here?” or “merlin, how did you get here?” it was merlin, where have you been? that whole time arthur was in battle all😭he😭wanted😭was😭merlin😭
and then the magic reveal. the goddamn magic reveal. that entire scene is so heartbreaking. tell me why i was so distraught when ive seen that scene more times than i can count. and he doesnt just say “i have magic, i used it to protect you” NO. he says i use it for you, only for you. THAT IS A CONFESSION. it’s such a subtle shift of words but it says SO MUCH.
arthur immediately being in denial kills me. it was never a thought in his head that merlin would actually have magic because he associated it with evilness and cruelty. but then he finds out that merlin has always had magic and the way his eyes become so sad… the way his finger brushed his merlins chin right before realizing the truth… im so…
4.) i couldnt stop crying when the scene cut to gwen in the castle, staring out the window and feeling that arthur is alive. her eyes are so sad. i just can’t get over the fact that she never had the goodbye she deserved
5.) as much as i hate the way arthur reacted to merlin having magic, i do understand. he was literally just in battle, was mortally wounded, and found out that the only person he thought he could trust had been lying to him from the moment they met. i dont believe arthur actually thought merlin was dangerous— he’s prone being angry before being sad as a defense mechanism and that was only fueled by finding out that gaius was also lying to him. at that point, it must’ve felt like every person he’d ever known and trusted only ever lied to him. its so tragic I CANT.
BUT ALSO on the other side of that i actually cannot handle how utterly heartbroken merlin looks. his red rimmed eyes because he was crying all night😭 thinking that arthur would hate him forever…
5.) this entire scene bro…
“why did you never tell me?”
“…i wanted to, but…”
“…what?”
“you would’ve chopped my head off.”
“…not sure what i would’ve done.”
“and i didn’t want to put you in that position.”
“…that’s what worried you?”
“some men are born to… plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others… to be great kings. me… i was born to serve you, arthur. and i’m proud of that. and i wouldn’t change a thing.”
UMMMM SO I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS. i have rewatched this scene so. many. times. it is genuinely one of the most beautiful scenes ever written in cinema call me dramatic but im just speaking facts
arthur’s face when he realized that merlin really did care for him. the way he instantly lights up, despite being in pain. and his eyes… theyre glued to merlin. the whole time, he couldn’t look at him directly, but now he was. he was just scanning his face, memorizing all of merlin’s features AND MERLIN IS JUST STARING AT ARTHURS LIPS
also. ALSO. how have i seen this so many times and never. NEVER. caught onto the fact that gwen and arthur’s theme (which is originally titled the love theme) WAS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND. there was no mention of gwen at all in that scene. that was all merlin and arthur. this just confirms to me that this is the moment arthur fully realized and accepted that he was in love with merlin
6.) gwen deserved to know that merlin was a sorcerer FROM MERLIN. they were best friends. THEY WERE BEST FRIENDS!!! HE SHOULDVE BEEN THE ONE TO TELL HER!!! they deserved a scene where merlin comes back from avalon and he and gwen hug and cry.
7.) gwaine and percival should NOT have gone after morgana. i understand their rage but there was no way they were going to defeat her unless they had excalibur or something…
and gwaines death was so unnecessary. that was clearly for shock factor and i hated it. but i did get emotional when percy was able to free himself because he heard gwaine was being tortured… and then hes there when gwaine dies… their foreheads touching… (im not ok)
8.) it breaks my heart that morgana felt no guilt or remorse when she saw arthur, wounded and on the verge of dying. you can so clearly see that arthur feels that way when he sees morgana die, but there’s nothing on her end. i know it’s meant to show how far gone she is but it genuinely doesn’t feel right. i really do think she would’ve experienced some sort of internal conflict when seeing her own brother dying… like maybe she realized that none of this was worth it. it didnt feel as good as she thought it would
and when she’s stabbed by merlin😭 and he says he blames himself for what she’s become. people don’t recognize it enough how merlin feels so much guilt for the way he treated morgana. i just know he didn’t want to kill her, but he had no choice and he knew it was his fault…
9.) is there a reason why merlin didnt call for kilgharrah. i know kilgharrah said in the previous episode that he would finally be lying to rest for eternity, but i feel like this was an especially dire situation where he was needed😭 AND MERLIN SUMMONS HIM LATER ON!!!
or what about aithusa??? LIKE THEY DID NOT HAVE TO BE ON HORSES THE WHOLE TIME
(if anyone can explain the reasoning then lmk otherwise it was just a plot hole and that pisses me off bruh)
10.) arthur’s death did not need to happen, yet it was one of the best death scenes i’ve ever scene. it was just so raw and painful. “just… just hold me…” WHAT IF I DIE??!?!,,!!, he thanks merlin, he pats his head, he brushes his cheek, he tries to hold his hand like im fjwjdjsjjswhshshsj
also originally i was not fully convinced by the theory that the breath arthur took before saying “thank you” was “i love you.” i didnt want to be delusional but i actually do think he did say that he loves merlin. AND THAT CAN BE INTERPRETED AS ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC!!! i def see it as romantic but yes… im so Normal…
11.) “i’ve failed?” just. don’t talk to me.
12.) when merlin stands by the boat arthur is laid to rest in, trying to hold back his tears only to sob as he touches his forehead. the way he tries to gather himself. the way he struggles to say arthurs name and cast the spell. the way he watches arthur drift off, shaking. just. pls.
13.) gwen my baby girl. i cannot emphasize this enough. you deserved so much better. my heart broke when she played with arthurs royal seal and then when i saw the empty throne beside her. she had no time to prepare for this. she just lost the love of her life.
14.) it cuts to leon and then percival. and then i realize theyre the only two left in the round table. they both look so distraught. they lost everyone they ever loved.
15.) gaius :( he was waiting for merlin with his favorite meal :(
16.) bro the truck always jumpscares me omfg why is it so loud😭😭😭 then i get sad because merlin is old and walking alone and its the present and he’s still waiting for arthur :(
they should’ve had the show end with arthur saying “merlin” instead of kilgharrah saying it. that’s literally all we needed. it would’ve been so perfect but here we are…
final thoughts:
i love that this episode wasnt just the battle and action. the focus of it was merlin and arthur, navigating their feelings from the magic reveal and arthurs mortal wound. its so painful and heartbreaking but that just symbolizes the love they have for each other. this entire episode was filled with their gentle moments, softly speaking and touching each other. then arthur dies in merlin’s arms but i dont think he’d want to be anywhere else
also!!! colin and bradley’s acting in this episode… it was absolutely PHENOMENAL. they are already such great actors, but they really nailed it in the series finale. i can’t get over how they speak with their eyes the whole time. you can the love, fear, and acceptance they experienced throughout the whole episode. it was just so beautiful and i think that was what rlly made this ep
#i still can’t get over the fact that they released the season finale on christmas eve#i can’t imagine watching the show as it was airing and seeing that#that would be my villain origin story#also merlin and arthur in this episode <3#it was their love story#they broke my heart mended it and then stomped on it#merlin deserved better#arthur deserved better#gwen deserved better#morgana deserved better#gwaine deserved better#percival deserved better#leon deserved better#merthur#arwen#arwen truthers 🤝 merthur truthers#merlin x arthur#merlin and arthur#arthur and merlin#arthur x merlin#arthur and gwen#gwen x arthur#merlin and gwen#perwaine#bbc merlin#merlin#arthur pendragon#merlin fandom#the adventures of merlin
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Hmmmm cuz I have a headache rn, what about the 141( + Konig and Los vaqueros) helping a gn reader with a migrane?
migraines and how they help ☆ pairing: 141 + los vaqueros + konig × gn! reader
authors note: i barely have migraines but when i do it hurts so much. Im gonna be honest and say im not too proud of these and i had no idea what to write sometimes- But hope you feel better soon anon and i hope you enjoy! :)
tags: migraine, hurt comfort?, domestic, probably ooc, medicine mentions, soft cod men
"CAPTAIN JOHN PRICE"
- dad mode activated !
- has a whole cabinet specifically full of medicine, some thermometers, etc.
- gives you some aspirin and water
- the type to make you go to bed and nap and will refuse to let you get out of bed or do anything yourself
- just tell him what you need and he'll get it!! no need to get up
- will lay down with you and caress your face, occassionaly giving you soft kisses on the forehead
- will always take care of you when you dont feel good and make sure you feel better before he stops
"Let me take care of you,"
"SIMON GHOST RILEY"
- kinda confused on how hes supposed to help you but hes trying okay
- will go to the store and get you something that will help you with the pain
- hes never really taken care of someone before so hes a little awkward
- he wants you to lay down and get some rest but he also doesnt want to baby you
- so he just kinda stands there while you do your thing, watching and waiting in case you need his help with anything
- if you ask him to lay down with you, he will and he'll make sure to hold you close
- "It's okay, love,"
"JOHN SOAP MACTAVISH"
- i feel like he gets sick maybe once a year so he has no clue how to even help with a migraine
- will stand in the medicine aisle at the store, staring at every single thing thats on the shelf and having no clue what to grab
- doesnt want to call you and bother you because youre in pain, so he ends up asking someone else in the aisle what the hell youre supposed to get for a migraine
- gets home about 5 minutes later than he should because he took so long just standing in the store with a confused look on his face
- will make you soup or something warm because that usually helped him when he was sick or in pain
- he almost started a fire because he forgot he was even making you food since he was more distracted by worrying over you and making sure you were comfortable !! how fun
- "Uh, the soup is burnt.."
"KYLE GAZ GARRICK"
- he definitely gets sick often, and hes almost an expert on how to help you
- makes sure you drink water regularly and occasionally take an aspirin
- most of the migraines hes ever gotten was because he was stressed
- so he practically gives you a therapy session and asks you what gave you the headache and if you were stressed
- lets you just talk it out if you were stressed
- keeps a close eye on you and makes sure you drink enough water and that you eat
- "Tell me whats been bothering you,"
"ALEJANDRO VARGAS"
- immediately notices that youre in pain when he sees you wince or squint your eyes
- is ready with pain medication and some water
- he offers to give you a back massage and hes very skilled with his hands so it feels amazing
- he makes sure to close all the blinds or curtains so its darker inside so the pain is less for you
- whispers in your ear about how much he loves you just so you feel relaxed and comfortable
- gives you kisses on the top of your head and soothingly rubs your back in circles
- "Te amo mucho,"
"RODOLFO RUDY PARRA"
- out of all the characters on this list, I have a feeling he would definitely be the best caretaker for you
- makes sure you get sleep and drink water, will literally hold you down if he has to
- he holds you against his chest while you sleep, staying by your side the whole time
- will cook meals for you and basically do everything for you
- suggests turning on some soothing noises or guided meditation sounds on the TV that will help you relax
- he also will brush your hair/do your hair for you if you find it relaxing
- "Solo relájate, cariño."
"KONIG"
- ohh hes so sorry that youre in pain and he tries his best to comfort you in any way he can
- hes not sure what to do himself but if you ask anything of him he will get right on it
- frequently asks if youre comfortable or if you need him to do anything
- it almost gets annoying, but he just wants to make sure youre taken care of and that you feel better soon
- he has no clue how to cook most things so he does the next best thing and goes to the store and buys all your favorite snacks for you
- "Do you need anything else, meine liebe?"
#call of duty#modern warfare 2#x reader#call of duty x reader#könig x reader#price x reader#ghost x reader#soap x reader#gaz x reader#alejandro x reader#rodolfo x reader#cod x reader
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Breeding COD Men
COD Men x Gn! Reader
(IF YOU DONT LIKE THIS, IGNORE IT!)
W: Breeding Kink, No real Mpreg, Overstimulation, Edging, Toys, Mega Horny, Sub! Characters, Dom! Reader, Gn! Reader, Characters: 141 Team and König + Nikolia
Price
He gets frustrated when you dont let him cum.
You like to edge him and it's the most overwhelming, horniest, he'll ever be.
Even while he's whining and gasping for air he still cant help but whisper out your name.
He wants you to keep fucking into him and calling for him.
He loves how breathy your voice is while you fuck him harder.
His ass hurts and he feels full but he wants it to never end.
"Imagine how cute our child will look, John. You'll be such a good dad to our child, won't you baby?"
Ghost
He didn't know he had a breeding kink until you asked if you could top him.
He also didn't know he was into subbing.
He quickly fell into sub-space.
Loves the way you hold his hips and thrust into him.
Likes being told to touch his stomach and feel the tummy bulge every time you thrust into him.
The lack of control on his end made everything you did 10x better. He felt looked after and loved.
He will start crying if you coo at him. You make him feel both so safe and so good unlike any partners he's had before.
Gaz
He loves being edged. Its such a pain and pleasure thing for him that it gets him even more riled up for you.
Likes being called your "prince" or some cute name you can come up for him.
Arches his back in such a way it makes you want to breed him for real. (Why is he so flexible?)
Cums into your hand or into the sheets and babbles about wanting to have your baby's.
Needs to filled up when you tease him and whisper into his ear about wanting to start a family with him.
Very much wants to have kids with you some day and cant wait to one day have kids with you.
Gets a little stupid when you fuck him. Doesnt know what to say other than mindless.
Soap
Hates it when you edge him but he likes how intense his orgasm is when he finally gets to cum.
He teases you all day just to get some punishment from you because he knows that you won't do it without reason.
Likes teasing you while you're inside him. Loves to get you angry and even finds it hot when you take it out on him in the form of bites and promises to get him knocked up.
Truly and deeply wants to be used and be taken care of.
He's not one to beg but he will do it if it means you'll bite and leave hickeys on his skin with the promise of more.
He hates admitting it but he really likes it when you call him your "good boy" or "puppy"
Doesnt know how to explain it, sounds domestic and cute to him and it always gets him bricked up.
If you tease him by rubbing the tip of your finger on his dicks head, he swears he's going to cum from the mere attention.
König
Always has known he had a breeding kink but he didn't know in what way.
He never allowed himself to submit to his partners because they just assumed he would be the dominant one in the relationship. With you though, it was a very different story.
You took such nice care of him. The way you made sure to check in with him while your hand slowly stroked him had him wanting to confess to any and all he wanted you to do to him.
He thought he would hate it when you told him you were going to breed him, but he found it so much more of a turn-on.
He came right on your hand after he processed what you said.
Likes it when you tease him with his own mask. Something about you wearing his mask while you fuck him stupid makes him even more horny.
He likes the feeling of your cum dripping out of him. Makes him feel dirty and good about being used.
Nikolia
He has a breeding kink and is not ashamed of it.
You indulging him is what made him fall more in love with you.
Loves using toys, and enjoys teasing and being edged.
You can have him panting and pleading in no time as he doesn't care to save face and act like he doesn't enjoy what you're doing to him.
Loves it when you fixate on his chest and nipples.
Begs you to please dig your nails into his legs as he likes the feeling. Makes him feel like your keeping him in place and not going to let him go.
Very hairy man and he likes that you like it too.
He has a thing for the reversal of roles.
Something about his much larger, hairier frame compared to yours is just exilirating to him.
Has a humiliation kink.
#Price x reader#ghost x reader#gaz x reader#soap x reader#könig x reader#nikolia x reader#mw2#mw3#gaz cod#soap cod#ghost cod#price cod#modern warfare fanfiction#call of duty#captain john price#simon riley#kyle garrick#john mctavish#könig#nikolia#dd speaks
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DAY 9: TRIO
Zam knows he is done the moment he touches his hair and feels something firm. He checks by leaning over the nearest puddle of water, and it's barely noticeable, but even now you can already see the small black horns. He easily guesses that later they will start to twist. At that point, he was speaking with Subz every day for two weeks straight. Only two weeks.
It's not like there was even anything special. He got up in the morning, took half of the battle kit, and went to spawn and placed the dirt for twelve hours in a row. And Subz was just there, i guess. They were working together, swapped shulkers with each other from time to time, and gave comms about the amount of dirt in the chest and which parts they had finished. Sure, sometimes they spoke – often it was just Zam asking and Subz answering tho – but it shouldn't have affected so much. He felt alone enough to get attached to not even his ally if they were ready to kill Leviathan. And Subz was. Best fucking choice ever.
Subz was kind to him. He forgiven him, reassured him, helped him. He was easy to love and care. Someone is doing things that have to be done just because no one else would. It was... so generous and strange for the Lifesteal, but so understandable from ItzSubz_, the man who got his best friend by giving out hearts and taking one really strange guy and his cat-maid as a refugee.
The horns grow by almost a centimeter in three days. They thicken at the base and are now noticeable even under the hair. It would be funny if I were poisoned by a corruption instead, he thinks idly. I've always wanted to get chronic pain as a bonus to friendship.
Always all-knowing Planet giggles at him and says that he is a weakling. Bacon mumbles that there is always something wrong with him. Subz says nothing. He just nods, gives him a dirt shulker, asks how he is, says where hes going today, and goes to work.
"Is there something you deeply regret?", Zam asks after his first shulker of dirt ends. "Of course", Subz answers, "it's inevitable". "How are you dealing with this?" – "I know I can't change anything that already happened and can only be better further in the line," – "But what if its something so bad you can't even accept that you did it?" – "To move on. Its not like there is any more choices".
It's not like he is wrong. But he is – atleast in some way. Zam doesnt say that. He still thinks about the dupe war sometimes. Sometimes he thinks that he could stop all of it if he was smarter. Sometimes he thinks that Spoke would do something destructive anyway, and he never was able to actually outplay him.
"Are you scared?" Subz suddenly asks. Zam pauses for a minute, just staring at the communicator. "Not anymore," he lies, "I was, but it's better now." "That's nice. You are on the right way.".
They're working until late tonight. Even when Subz finally gives up, having not slept for at least a day, Zam stays, and Subz hands over the remaining dirt to him before disappearing into the night. He works until he has no blocks left. And then he just stares at the sky, sitting on the hill he just made. Stars are beautiful tonight. And the moon lacks only a crescent to become full-fledged.
It's... peaceful. This is what he wanted, making The Sanctuary his new home. It's unfortunate that it only brought more problems in the end. Back then, he really only wanted a quiet life alone.
He sleeps in the New Silvington today. It's still blown up, but it's warm and quite down there. This time, memories with Walter soothe him. It's like he had a home again.
When he wakes up, his horns are half of the original length. And Zam feels so, so stupid.
He gets only a few quiet days until Mapicc and Ro show up, and he messages Subz because he has no choice.
Subz comes and covers his back. It's a good thing. By the time Zam enters the Eclipse, the similarity between them is already absolutely obvious.
– Do you gave yourself this shit? – Subz just asks him one day.
– Kinda, yeah, – he agrees.
– Okay, if you like them. – Subz shrugs and instantly distracts from the topic. Zam stares at him for almost another minute.
He sees Vitalasy the first time after joining only after two weeks of being there, and Vi looks busy and tired, but he's still smiling, and he hugs Subz and, later – Zam. His hands are soft and warm. He feels himself very, very weak.
Vi stays with them in the base under the snow for a week. He helps them fight, brings golden apples, and cooks them sweet cakes. He accepts Zam into the team with an ease – smiles to him, covers his back, tells personal stories, and falls asleep on his shoulder, feeling safe next to him. Vi leaves shortly after, having just too big of a plan and too much of a work.
The next day, Zam already has fox ears.
#shapeshifter zam au#lifestealtober2024#princezam#itzsubz#vitalasy#sunshield#eclipse federation#d.fics#fanfiction
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