#this is not to be dismissive of those people hurting
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I've been waiting to really have some time to type out my thoughts about the Ody3, and now I have managed to sneak away, so here you go.
Doctor Odyssey is not being presented as a love triangle, but instead as a throuple. A basic tenet of polyamory for a lot of people is: one person cannot meet all my emotional and physical needs.
And to be crystal clear, that's also something the show has expressly outlined. The captain said it. Out loud. About a throuple. So it's not like this is unintentional.
With that, here's why this throuple story is balanced and conveying clearly that they each meet separate and important emotional needs (physically they've all said it was awesome so let's assume the sex is good)
Avery - Avery is an interesting character because she is very smart and largely defines herself by academic accomplishments. In fact, she is considering med school but doesn't have a burning need to be a doctor. She just feels like it's what she should do. This wars with her nature to pursue pleasure. She wants to see the world. She isn't interested in settling down. And she has a fear of commitment that stems from being hurt while envisioning a future where she has "fixed" herself and has kids and a spouse. She also froze her eggs, which takes commitment, but didn't say kids as her bucket lost goal.
Tristan - Tristan is all heart. He's touchy and feels deeply and openly and unapologetically. He openly loves, appreciates being wanted, and tbh is a himbo (honorific). He also is terrified of being left because of his mother who love bombed and abandoned him over and over again. He craves something stable while also being absolutely terrified of getting it and either losing it or losing his taste for it. He wants kids but isnât willing to risk his heart unless he knows his partner is all in on him which is basically an impossibility at the front end of a relationship.
Max - Max is smart and he knows it. He loves learning new things with an enthusiasm most people don't appreciate. But that's both an attribute and a drawback for him because Max hides behind his knowledge when he's scared or hurt. Rather than be vulnerable, he falls into a pattern of professionalism and authority (earned or not). He longs to let his hair down, but stepping out of his self-imposed role is terrifying.
So knowing all that, let's look at them ttogether.
Max and Avery - these two absolutely thrive in an academic or cerebral challenge. They challenge each other and push each other intellectually. They are attracted to the other in part by those sexy brains. But they have no idea how to cross the divide on an emotional level. Avery has no clue how to tease Max out of his rigid walls (something she seems to acknowledge when asking Tristan to help with the throuple idea). And Max also can't figure that out. Also, Max encourages Avery's instinct to define herself by academic achievements (not purposely so much as because they are too alike here)
Max and Tristan - Max and Tristan have similar life goals but it's the way they connect emotionally that is the key to the balance for both characters. Tristan can reach Max, like he did in the mid season finale. He breaks the ice around Max's heart. Max, meanwhile, gives Tristan and stability and maturity he craves. And Max feels like he's a constant. He may retreat behind his walls and rules, but you get the feeling that if he lets that guard down, he would be a steady partner.
Avery and Tristan - these two like each other. They're close. They care about each other. Yet they didn't find a space without Max. I think it's because they are both too prone to having fun (Avery) and running away from commitment (both of them). Tristan has historically held Avery up as an idea while not seeing the person. Avery has either dismissed Tristan or recognized she isn't willing to give him the steady commitment he craves. They are GREAT for each other. They care about each other and support each other and connect so well. But neither of them is in a space where a healthy relationship can form on their own.
When you put them all together, you start to see both how they fulfill certain needs in each other but also how they fill in the gaps. No pairing stands alone. It's unbalanced. But together, they work so well.
Interestingly, we're shown that. They are best when they are together and on the same page. Things feel unbalanced when they aren't on screen together. Even when they work well together one on one, eventually coming together as a triad is like an emotional home base for them.
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people in ye olden days were so dramatic. they were just killing themselves over anything
#suicide mention#idk if thats necessary but better safe than sorry#this is not to be dismissive of those people hurting#but im watching ghost files (the whaley house) and ryan was like#âviolet took her own life after her newly wed husband ditched her on their honeymoonâ#and all i could think was damn girl over a breakup?#im not being serious abt this btw its obviously a very tragic event#but theres so many stories about people back then just calling it quits after 1 bad thing happened to them#but i guess they didnt have good therapy at the time and way easier methods of doing the deed#original
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Tessa fucks me up dude can I just talk about her for a sec? Yeah? Yeah.
She loved those drones. She loved them because they were what she had. She felt sympathy for them when nobody else did. And I like to think there was a little bit of loneliness motivating her as well.
Her mother hated her. She was nothing to her. When her mother scolded her by saying "seems you still can't follow simple orders" her respone was "No, no no! Please!" BEGGING. Begging her mother to believe in her and be kind to her. She got chained up in her room (multiple times btw. At leas tthats implied. the hand she winced at and rubbed is the same hand the chain was on, which means shed be chained up long enough for it to rub her skin painfully. long enough to leave lasting pain.)
She is very connected to these drones, to the point where she kept all the error drones aroud because she LOVED them. She spent time digging them up. HELL SHE TOOK A FAMILY PHOTO WITH THEM DUDE...
Even when Cyn was creepy and scary, she kept her around. She'd rather lock Cyn up than get rid of her. and when n points it out, shes apologetic and hesitant. But we know WHY she did that. Even if it was kind of a sucky move, it was because she didnt wanna have to throw cyn out. and in the end that killed her.
Also she knows J well enough to know what sets her off (enough to. bite the shit out of a chain). She knows them. and she loves them.
I wish we'd gotten to know more about her an N. why is he so clearly her favorite? but thats not relevant ig
also her saying "I've only ever yakked to robots, J!" She has NO human friends. she has nobody to support her other than these robots. these robots who get treated like garbage by her family.
and then she has to watch these robots turn on her. Not just THESE ROBOTS but the three that she loved most. (also im going off what wouldve happened in ep 5 WITHOUT uzi, where n doesnt get out of the swamp, and nobody goes down to the basement)
V first, then Cyn, then J. And we KNOW she loved these three+N especially bc she took a family photo w them, interacted with them more often, and generally just seemed much closer with them.
and what does she get for it? killed. And also its implied by this screenshot that she wasnt ACTUALLY killed by cyn right then
(the scientists, the sword beside her, the footprints, the way shes sitting against the wall, the expression she has. she totally just saw all that shit)
and she cant have been skyn bc the scientists wouldve known. the skinsuit wasnt exactly. hm. pretty.
which means she DID see her whole family+more slaughtered in front of her while she was powerless to stop it. She DID see J violently kill everyone around her. She DID see Cyn kill everyone. And she just has to. Deal with that. And despite all her efforts, the solver took over and cyn killed her. (im assuming tessa died somewhere around when n's mineshaft flashback was like i mentioned b4)
and all the while she was convinced shed lose N, id assume. based on the state of the other drone out there.
And honestly, i think what she got was worse.
also i am team "N knew Tessa wasn't the same Tessa he knew back on Earth"
The way he looked at her, and the way he was suspicious of her. He knew HIS Tessa would never treat a drone like this. Cyn has been known to have relatively shitty recreations of people at times (like Thad in episode two) But even so there was no way he could believe it was someone else (like. who would it be? he saw her blood he heard her voice like...) which is why he was so stressed after killing her (when he leaned on his sword and was breathing heavy, yk?)
he loved her and she loved him and now shes dead. just like everyone else he loved.
this isnt about n but like. idk if tessa could see him now i think shed cry. she loved him and all of them
#tzu rambles#i just. she was a kid dude#she was a stupid hurting abused kid#she was treated like shit by her mother and probably her father too#and all she had were those drones#the ones that killed her and her family#the ones that ruined her life and destroyed earth#the ones that MIMICKED HER TO THE PEOPLE SHE LOVED MOST#THE âN!!!â SQUEAL. THE PETTING HIS HAIR. THE DISMISSAL OF J#FUCKING SICK AND TWISTED#Bc i genuinely believe that if Tessa HAD come to copper 9 alive she wouldve been like that#maybe a little more sympathetic to uzi. like if she knew abt the patch she wouldve used it. i know that#but otherwise i think shed be like that. silly. silly like that.#(esp kicking that computer monitor. we all saw her chuck a glass at the floor for no reason)#child abuse#abuse tw#tessa james elliot#murder drones#tessa elliot#tessa md#md tessa#tessa murder drones#murder drones tessa
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I think a lot of people in the iwtv fandom pretend they care about racism until it uplifts their white fave or affects the actor of a character or character they don't like or care about. I wish you people would be normal.
#and itâs even worse on twitter#not posting this on main bc I donât want ppl to be annoying to me but this needs to be said#and this is in response to a lot of things Iâve seen but the most recent problem is#the way a lot of ppl are treating assad and those who are trying to point out amc marketingâs racism#a lot of yâall are more upset about ppl calling out white favoritism in marketing#and it supposedly hurting the white actorâs feelings#than the racism against a brown muslim actor#mind you no oneâs even saying anything insulting about sam#but I see so many ppl taking their anger out on assad and being racist about him#why do I see way less energy to protect him from that?#well I know why#yâall will even defend a white man who said the n word to the moon and back#either that or ppl donât take it seriously and dismiss it as stan wars#from the louis funko situation to the armand brownface cosplay to this.. throw the whole fandom away at this point#fuck you all and fuck amc. you people are vile#assad jacob and delainey deserve so much better than this#amc#iwtv#sam reid#assad zaman#interview with the vampire#lestat de lioncourt#armand#louis de pointe du lac#claudia#daniel molloy
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask âwhyâ and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might âhurtâ you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not âthe 'tismâ or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad đ but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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detective comics #509
[ID: Bruce Wayne sleeping in his penthouse, his eyes squeezed shut as the narration reads, âGordon's strained laugh sounds hollow, but it echos in the Batman's mind... and haunts his dreams...â Bruce awakens to a hand on his shoulder and before he can think, he's twisting it and holding it down. The panel expands, revealing the hand belongs to Alfred as he's almost toppling over! He cries out, âM-master Bruceâmy arm!â as Bruce groggily realizes who it is. He lets go at once as Alfred moves to the end of the bed and holds his arm while stammering an apology, âS-sorry, s-sir... Sorry if I startled you.â Bruce looks at him with aghast as he cries out, âMy god, Alfred��I almost broke your arm!â Alfred reasons, âYou must have been having a nightmare, sir.â as Bruce sits up and puts his face in his hands. He weepily dismisses, âA nightmareâwhat kind of an excuse is that? Old friend... forgive me...â Alfred reassures, âNothing to forgive, sir. Just bad nerves, sir.â END ID]
#THIS ONE !!!!#bruce and his neverending guilt complex#just immediately regretful and so apologetic as alfred is quick to reassure and dismiss it#holding his arm because of fucking course it still hurts but when bruce lifts his head he stops ....#always thinking of how he was a caretaker for bruce since he was a small child/infant and how many little things bruce does now will remind#alfred of those days#he likes his grilled cheese q certain way. he cries if he thinks he hurt someone. he blames himself for a lot. he gets bad nightmares#like so much has stayed the same as so much continues to change but the love and care thry have for each other is always there#(<- guy who is always number one in bruce is disabled and needs a caretaker but also in how the people around him know bruce loves and cares#about them. its not about not being loved its about how heavy his love is and how bruce will subconsciously use his love to harm himself#(from blaming himself to his parents murders and jason's future death to something as simple as this and how he'll beat himself up#for hurting alfred and not able to protect him as well from himself)#(like his mental illness is forever using his stupid bleeding heart against himself as a reason for why hes awful)#this is all fully sidetracked im just fucking wired today sorry lol#but while im talking and something more related to the panel itself::#after this line bruce looks up and says âthe batman suffering from bad nerves? lets hope not. gordon can worry about the election but i#cannot afford to. still its not just the campaign. lately so many other things are pressuring meâmostly as bruce wayneâ#and like !!!!#it wasn't about batman! it wasnt about his burdens and responsibilities!! alfred was telling HIM. BRUCE. that its okay#and bruce automatically âits not because batman cant behave like thisâ like !!!!#batman is the priority in the sense of he thinks he needs it to protect people. even his family even alfred and every single stranger#he won't ever allow himself any grace even while sleeping because batman cannot afford those âslipsâ#just GOD 70s/80s batman makes me insane for forever and ever amen#c: detective comics | i: 509#crypt's panels#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#alfred & bruce#âawake or asleepâit scarcely matters anymore. the nightmare never seems to end.â#<- nightmare bruce tag <333
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another rant in tags
#im so angry and hurt#and i have been for the past month and a half because of what happened#not even because of the initial issue#it's because of how i was spoken to#and on top of that how i was spoke about#and then how my name to however many of their followers with people i dont know dont feel safe with etc was completely outed#like#i wanna change my url again#because it's still far too close to my name#because i no longer feel safe on this app#i feel like people in sevika fandom hate me#that they all think im a bad person#what made everything worse is ex moots i thought were cool#were liking all of those posts#posts that are still up btw#i deleted every single one besides the apology to my followers#and i've kept my feelings up thats it#i've still not said a name#because i respect people's feelings and understand them#you know i dont even feel excitement about trailers anymore#its all dampened because of this#it just reminds me that i hardly have people to gush with because they've all either unfollowed#or i've blocked because â¨paranoiaâ¨#it reminds me i feel alone#it sucks so bad#i just wish there was some understanding#and that it wasnt referred to as a bullshit conversation#and that i wasnt dismissed#thats it#ellsss' rambles
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As far as the people of Mondstadt are concerned, what happened that night of Diluc's eighteenth birthday in terms of the results of The Confrontation between Diluc and Kaeya, is instead a fabrication that a grief-stricken Kaeya had recklessly tried to clear a domain on his own only to be attacked and hurt by a Pyro Abyss Mage. The only reason he survived was being blessed with his Cryo Vision.
Each and every time the lie is brought up, especially in the Angel's Share, Kaeya feels the urge to find that 'Domain' and lock himself in it.
#hc; kaeya#//Those of the church are aware it was NOT in fact a domain excursion; but he Refused to tell them what it actually was#//Many had/have their suspicions; but with how highly Kae held Diluc; many of them dismissed such concerns#//Lisa; Varka; Jean; and Seamus are the only people outside of the Dawn Winery folks at the time who know the Truth behind his injuries#//And ONLY Varka and Adelinde are aware him being Khaenri'ahn had any part to play in it (Kae's not aware Lisa knows too)#//But Kae adamantly Refused to let Diluc be faulted for any of it. Did everything he could to ensure it#//Definitely made it clear that anybody who acted on it in his name would be someone he'd detest and retaliate against#//Made it clear again when Diluc came back; though Jean had no intentions to#//Was she upset; yes. But with how Kae framed himself and the ordeal; she's torn on how to feel about their fight in general#//She doesn't Know exactly why they fought; Kae keeps saying it was Personal and to 'ask Diluc' if she really wants to know#//But she does know both were definitely hurting that night; and she was only able to really help ONE of them#//Ack; veered off course#//But yeah#//Kaeya will NOT ever willingly tell anyone that Diluc hurt him otherwise; and never ONCE resented him for it; either#//If Diluc himself were to try and take blame; Kaeya would Lose His Fucken Marbles and refute him most avidly#//One of the fastest and Only ways Diluc can actually bring Kaeya to genuine Anger#//Luc can insult and push him away all he wants; can even hurt him again if he wanted to#//But that? No; Kaeya would NOT stand for Diluc taking any blame; even from himself#//HE was the one who pushed Luc; HE was the one who approached him while grieving. Thus HE deserves all the blame for what happened#//That's what he thinks. And no one can hope to convince him otherwise. Except maybe Diluc himself#//But that'd take communication skills and emotional vulnerability that neither are equipped nor ready for as they are#//Whoops; veered again lol#//If Kae out of nowhere brings That up and blames Luc/acts in anger of him for it; just KNOW that smth is up
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To our OFMD fam who is intensely grieving and working through a myriad of emotions: your feelings are valid.
It's okay to be devastated, hopeless, angry, sad, lost, and in shock.
I know it doesn't help when someone says to get over it. Or that it was inevitable. Or that it's just a fictional character.
Grief doesn't give a shit. Emotions happen and if there was love, then there's grief.
I'm sorry you have to go through this loss. And just know that you are loved.
#I can't tell you how many people tried to empathize with my mom dying by sharing how they felt when their pet died#and though my immediate thought was those are in no way equivalent i realized maybe it is for them#i can't judge what kind of bond or love was there because I'm not them#in the end love is love and grief is grief#and it's not cool to invalidate or be dismissive because we don't understand what bond people had with Izzy or why that bond is there#so i hope we can all be kind and gentle with each other and let feelings be felt without hurting each other#ofmd#ofmd s2#ofmd s2 spoilers#izzy hands
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Hug
*Hug*
#itâs really easy to dismiss why Iâm upset and tell myself itâs silly and stupid but#so I went to a party with âĄď¸ and đŽ (hosted at âĄď¸âs house) everyone was drinking I was the only sober one#but hearing âĄď¸ and đŽ talk about all these dates they go on trying to hook up with all these people missing people they have crushes on etc.#like what to me is huge and soul crushing and life changing to them is just. a fling or something.#I spent MONTHS in a state of suicidal ideation self harming wondering if I should commit myself over how things went with đŽ#to hear her talk about during those months she was out going on other dates trying to hook up with other people etc.#what was just another date in a long line of dates and people to her was something equal to a breakup to me#and that hurts? and itâs okay that that hurts? itâs okay that Iâm upset by that?#because dating is NOT that casual for me#those two dates I went on with her were the first dates I had been on since 2021#and now I canât even think about being with anyone else besides those two#Iâm realizing just how much it hurts me that Iâm someone in a long line of random dates/cheap thrills/short lived relationships#because to me they are⌠well shit man look how much I talk about them on here.#I donât know if they are FPs but theyâre like. Serious interests at least.#theyâre who Iâm comparing everyone I talk to to#I know that Iâm not going to be able to really entertain the idea of flirting seriously with anyone else because I am hooked on them#and one doesnât know and the other doesnât care#and I donât know what to do about it#I told đŽ if I had a way to move on I would. does she think this is fun for me? that Iâm having a good time?#that I love feeling like I want to kill myself over her? because this isnât fucking fun for me!#THIS FUCKING SUCKS!#*sigh*#idk what else to say#punk gets mail
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i will really never understand people who wish for âlight-heartedâ keiji x kai. please replay their âfondnessâ events. if they ever were to befriend one another, that alone would have an extremely detrimental effect on both parties (but - particularly kai, as he is trying to heal from the past; it is keiji who incessantly digs it up and holds it above kai as a reminder that he is no better than him). kaiâs patience with keiji and that mutual understanding should not be mistaken for empathy - it is a scenario specifically derived to make the other feel as if they are âwhere they belongâ (as those whoâve seen the worst the world has to offer and let it shape them).
#jestersvaguely#yttdposting#sorry. i don't do this often but i am. a bit irritated because much of this comes at the expense of kai's character#kai is trying very hard to push forward - to accept the wrong done and allow these hands to be used for 'healing' rather than 'hurt'#this is why his dynamic with kazumi and reko in particular are heartwarming... even if we are told through nao's event that#kai isn't yet prepared to interact on a personal level with those who are - as he initially sees it - more naive#but nao's kindness is not entirely naivete; she is aware that whatever has happened to kai will hold its effect#but that it is best to try not to live in that darkness - otherwise... of course. of course you'd drag people into that#even if it's difficult to depart from it. kai still wishes for moments where he can forget the 'darkness in his heart'#and it's so. important. and seeing it entirely dismissed with keiji's events is so solemn by comparison#''next time mr. villain...'' no dignity other than your crime.#with that mindset... your life stagnates.
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Having trauma from being misunderstood and disrespected and ridiculed and for any attempt on my part to make those things stop making it worse is like. Not great. Don't like that.
#please do not recommend therapy#I also have these issues in psychotherapy and trauma from that#and 'you just haven't found the right therapist because those experiences are very atypical' feels hurtful and dismissive#since like I've seen a lot of them and it was always the same so it was pretty typical TO ME#and it seems like I'm either being called a liar who is slandering a noble profession#or told to keep doing something that hurts me forever to see if it won't hurt this time#and I'm never allowed to opt out#because it's 'unhealthy' of me to stay away from traumatising environments#that have never helped in the way they are supposed to#but I am wrong to think that it wouldn't be different#so like again we're back to people thinking I'm always wrong#and that my experiences of the world are invalid by default
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also given that the logic of said superiority authoriority is an entitlement to deny someone's personhood & use them as an object for your purposes, from obviously getting to direct what they must do & can't do, to enjoying whatever gratification from lashing out / demeaning which is also going to serve as an affirming exercise in authority when one can do that from an insulated elevated place....a crucial part of whatever form of this violence, from the most nanoscopic triangle in the sierpiĹski triangle pyramid scheme hierarchy, to the hypothetical largest (zoom in or out to whatever degree: the same shit also), being that indeed the superior parties need the deserved insulation from any Consequence to exerting their superior status, including indeed from having to witness the consequences For the "inferior" parties, such as whatever externalizations of suffering they recognize as such, which either (a) need to be put away (b) are manipulative performances or otherwise exaggerated (e.g. being a pussy / not even having the sense to realize how little suffering they're Really experiencing) or (c) can be fun to witness if you decide you enjoy that as an affirmation of power as per your ability to completely detach from any avoidance of causing pain, harming for its own sake, b/c you Can
all which is to frame how Interesting it is that after all those moments of going "well, they keep bothering with reaction shots of winston noticeably feeling hurt & expressing it, sometimes also verbally. it's like it could be setting up something" it set up Nothing; while once again just like has been done dozens of times a scene just Ends on winston being rejected &/or hurt, no resolution then, no resolution ever, and in the case of 7x03 was so significant an attack that just like in 4x11 when mafee gets to take out his own Loyalty Insecurity on winston while everyone else hangs around in tacit to overt approval, everyone just leaves the room & we get winston staying behind in the Most distant position aaand scene's over! thread's over! david levien get back here after you Liked that 4x12 livetweet of mine pointing out "so see & winston was right anyways??" like....that is: we are given the Perspective of someone who is also now Leaving winston behind, thus immune to the consequences of however that treatment could actually affect him or how he might struggle to deal with that now (who cares! the answer is: Alone) like Whatever, next time we see him he's completely fine now. and i'm just so happening to think that all the little moments of getting to see winston wither & withdraw & etc in reaction to being shitted on was also us being granted the perspective of Gratification that he's punished for speaking or existing or whatever, without it ever going anywhere or mattering beyond that instant. we too are the ones who surely get to relentlessly bully the autistic person & damn if we don't at least enjoy someone getting to go off the rails restoring their ego by doing absolutely whatever they want to him, which just so happens to be perfectly aligned with getting him Back In Line. pull yourself together winston! the only consequences you're experiencing we wanna deal with are the ones where you give us the algorithm we decided we want, actually. and now let's look across the rest of the season where the consequences for wags for being this way (or anyone else for standing by, ready to benefit, with philip bafflingly declaring as well how actually it was brutal in a good way) is approximately fuckall even as of course nobody's pretending he's one of the personal growth guys out here: rian is though, and didn't have to "grow" out of abusing winston or thinking that was fine & good or that of course she's inherently superior! and in the end we have more affection and interest for the Epic Asshole than their Cringe Targets
#yeah once again really appreciate being given the Rewards of that Fantasy of pwning these losers#we get to Glimpse winston going :/ :( b/c that's how we know he was aptly punished for trying to act like he's a fellow person#when we're grabbing his head forcing him back into place in a bigger way it's more important we then dust our hands off & Leave#winston leaving May be that eventual acknowledgment of consequence for w/e scraps of sympathy (pity) billions has for him#but it's made into an episode abt wags w/marked Little care for winston's role & once again Just A Fun Power Trip! for us viewers too!#thoughts amped up from the harmonic resonance of a more zoomed out triangle in the self similar fractal of pyramid scheme hierarchy....#the inferior may be beset w/mass death & violence but um my nice dinner out please?? same No Consequences For The Superior logics#prince shits on winston ep 1? cool! we're giving him a chance. shits on rian ep 12? whoa! whadda hell blunosaur....hang on a minute....#winston billions#how gracious to align us as viewers with the people comfortably shitting on those Beneath Them for kicks & status#and ''pitying'' the Inferior parties doesn't disrupt your superiority so don't worry about that#rian talking to winston like a dog & pitching right in for hurting him via ''he wasn't ever worth listening to But here ya go'' as Pity....#taylor moved away from their being willing to hire him; listen to him; even At All step in even a Tiny bit to insulate him....#towards wanting to forever ignore him & express contempt & tell rian the pitying is Too Much & be right there w/wags in 7x03...?#guess that was just like ''well they can't possibly have an arc of keeping up Any supportiveness / basic recognition of this loser''#but they also don't have to interact w/their own willingness to Insistence on being awful to him either#wasn't even the consequence of [once again we need his epic output...but have treated him like shit?] nah just took it from him :)#anyways; riled. riling times#sure having plenty of firsthand experience with a Refusal to accept like responsibility of produced suffering#there's plenty of room for distress; particularly if translated into irritation/anger; as dismissable to ''haha funny. now anyways''#then there's the option of Resenting whatever evident pain. you can't Tyrannically impose that consequence on Me!!! why i oughta#see also the tyranny of winston Speaking (demanding listening) Being Present (demanding navigation of that) having wants; feelings (NO)....#or you're at more of a loss? you ofc simply get to literally/figuratively walk away :) turning away from winston. ending the scene. shrug#anyways winston is inherently an Other who just so happens to deserve to be Our punching bag & inferior in life yippee wahoo#and by ''just so happens'' we mean clearly Deserves it based on nothing abt what Consequences his actions do or don't have lol lmao#his deserving this inferiority is something more Inherent about him okay lol lmao XD a sentiment unchallenged all 5 seasons he's here#how fun every time rian starts talking to winston with insults & punishment Prompted by his audacity in existing loserishly#what a rollicking episode as wags decides he'll prove his superiority over someone today & everyone claps as he assaults winston. nice!#it was so essential b/c now we can Take his coding w/o having to interact w/him (save 1 meeting just w/sacker!) cool!!! good!!!#lord even knows Where Do I Start Where Do I End It well anywhere & nowhere always & never. the lil topic of ableism & abuse
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man i love hellblazer. i write ten words about how this man grieves / breaks down emotionally and immediately want to crack my hyoid like a glowstick.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#he's. so emotionally healthy you guys. he's so totally fucking fine#definitely hasn't spent his whole life having his trauma dismissed by everyone who purports to care about him#definitely hasn't had to turn everything that hurts him into a joke so it doesn't become a weakness to be used against him#feels like he Has to look at all the awful details where the occult and the grotesque human intersect because no one else will#and then proceeds to become incontrovertibly linked to those awful intersections simply bc he was There to Witness#wants so badly to hold on to the people he loves but has been taught his whole life that he's poison and shouldn't#wants to live more than anything but can't figure out how to LIVE while he's alive#it's fine. he's fine. it's cool. i'm normal about it#his emotions are wild to me bc he doesn't lock down like your traditional brooding antihero. he's pretty fuckin open about things#he just...has to push past what he's feeling to get the job done. and then everyone assumes it can't have been that bad in the first place#meanwhile his fucking hands are shaking while he tries to light his cigarette#i'm really feeling some kinda way about him tonight lmao
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marylily is so ur so pretty by the wasia project coded
#ok but pov lily makes this so much more heartbreaking#thinking about âyouâre the only person left so hold me // donât leave meâ especially#cause like lilyâs abandonment issues stemming from being abandoned/ rejected for reasons beyond her control#by two people she loved so greatly#petunia turning against her and her own jealousy festering into bitter hate and prejudice#and isolating lily as a âfreakâ#and snape calling her a mudblood THAT TOO WHILE SHE WAS ACTIVELY DEFENDING HIM#and like it kills me because. she really did try her hardest to be "goodâ and keep those relationships as long as she could defend them#and well past#and the way they probably made her weary towards love not because she wasnât loving#but simply because she was so full of it that it was extremely draining to extend it all across to constantly be dismissed or hurt#main points in the tags because ofc đ#lily evans#marylily#mary macdonald#the marauders#marauders fandom#marauders era#mauraders#hp marauders#dead gay wizards from the 70s
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tma is a show which spends the first 100 episodes going "look at these monsters. aren't they fucked up. yeah and they're all so happy being monsters who hurt people monstrously" and then the protagonist who you've spent hours listening to at this point becomes one of those fucked up monsters, forcing you to either dismiss him as evil or you have to fully change how you view all the previous monsters. and then they spend the next 100 episodes dealing with that
#and it was so fucking cool#mind you theres a bit more nuance than just this#but let me have my moment#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#justice posts
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