#this is not doing good things to my mental health i fear
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
lunaroracleofvenus Ā· 24 hours ago
Text
What manifestation technique is best designed for you? PAC
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Left to Right
Pile one
This is my pile of witches and warlocks. The best way you manifest is through spells, and rituals. You have magic in your blooddddd hunnyy.Ā  You might be highly mythical, intuitive, and just divine. Use this divine nature in a creative way, and all you desire shall manifestā€¦ this could be through glamour magic, love spells, abundance spells..
Pile two
These are my divine feminines. This pile best manifests by setting intentions and going with the flow. Working with the feminine via moon rituals, water element or just that shakti power will draw all you desire to youā€¦ there is a huge theme of co-creation and just feminine energy. This pile might need to release what doesnā€™t work emotionally and truly tap into their feminine wisdom when it comes to manifestingā€¦ what works for you, might not work for everyone else and that is okayā€¦ you might be alone in this powerā€¦
Pile three
This pile best manifest by mastering the earth element. This pile might be able to use scripting to manifest or just using the natural element to manifest. Could use some earthy/elemental witchcraftā€¦.
Ā But what i am hearing most is having self compassion and really devoting yourself to what you are trying to manifest = fruition of the desire. This might look like manifesting one thing at a time, and while you are manifesting it, you sleep, breath, and dream it. You continuously tap into the desire, and deeply ground yourself into the feeling consistently. Though remember balance, and leave a bit of space for life and your mental health. The whole saying, let it go and detachment for manifesting, DOES NOT apply to you. Your attachment to it really creates itā€¦. This might be my obsessive manifestorsā€¦ do you guys have any strong pluto in your charts btw???
Pile four
So thereā€™s a lot of overdoing in this pile, and anxiety. There might be a lot of freezing and overthinking when it comes to choosing and sticking to what you are attempting to create. Rest assured itā€™s okay to feel how you feel at this moment. Rest assured that things will and can get better. Spirit is saying just remember to be ambitious, flexible but also grounded. Listen to where your intuition is guiding you. Manifesting isnā€™t supposed to add MORE problems to life. Like life can be difficult enoughā€¦ stop taking it so seriously tbh. Like yes you can create change, but you create change in little and big practical ways everyday. From the moment you choose to brush your teeth, to the moment you decide on studying. Didnā€™t get much of a method for this pile! You might need to give manifesting a break and come back to itā€¦
Pile fiveĀ 
This pile might manifest best through chaos, and destruction. You seem to create great things from dark places. Where people see destruction, you see a moment to create. You might be really good at seeing peopleā€™s potential, and helping them shift into that.. How you can effectively use this power for yourself to manifest, I think is by doing shadow work, emotionally releasing rituals, and working with darker goddesses/gods.Ā 
For example, letā€™s say you wanted to manifest a home, maybe journal about blockages you might have.. Do you feel undeserving? Do you feel its unattainable? Or maybe there is a childhood wound? Once you understand your depth, choose a ritual to release it, and then maybe channel those same feelings into getting what u want or set your desired intentions after you have released what doesnā€™t serve you?
Also,Ā  I donā€™t know how to properly describe but channeling anger, fear and etc might work really well for youā€¦ being put through trials and tribulations might also work well for youā€¦ hopefully yā€™all get what im trying to put down <3
This pile gives me the vibe of the type of people that go through the most horrible break up and 6 months later, they look good asf and they make 5x times what they used to makeā€¦
Pile six
this is a very Venusian pile. This pile manifests best through instruments, dance, and music. Also having a communion with god as wellā€¦ speaking to god, letting god/goddess know what you want.. Keeping that relationship with spirit will really help you..
Also, gratitude practices might really help you manifest your desired things. and, general affirmations might really work for you. Everything is as it should be. Everything is working out. I feel great.. those type of affirmations!
79 notes Ā· View notes
shy-canadian-snowflake Ā· 1 day ago
Text
Oh god even more Mentally Unwell Wade? Always. This is how I deal with my own mental health.
Wade chatters to himself, normally about random topics or his opinions on the weirdest of things- why Jellyfish would make good therapist, would madusa have to feed her hair, if emojis are todays hieroglyphics- lots of random topics. He does so half because ADHD brain, half because he doesn't like the sounds of his own thoughts. He speaks at a normal volume or louder when doing this.
He mumbles under his breath if he thinks he might be hallucinating. Soft quick words that normal people would ask him to speak up, not Logan tho. Logan can hear.
He learns quick- rambling is normal, mumbling is concerning. Thats is until it's not.
There are some hallucinations that are kind of normal for Wade. Like Boris, the large hairball cat thing. Wade named it so it was less stressing. Logan can hear him mumbling in the other room:
"God damn it Boris, don't pop up like that. I know you can't help it but come on."
"Boris, I'm starting to think you like me too much"
"Oh shit Boris, my man. As a interdimensional hairball cat thing, what is your opinion on Nutella?"
At first Logan would hover near by concerned, which would just cause Wade to shut down more. But eventually he started asking about Boris.
"If Boris is around so much, he should pitch in some fucking rent"
The day Logan did that changed everything. Wade didn't feel like he was being judged for what his brain was doing, that this wasn't something to fear. His brain was just mean sometimes and showed him Boris. Logan was fine with Boris, could deal with Boris. So Wade could too.
56 notes Ā· View notes
pineconnie Ā· 8 months ago
Text
pretending iā€™m the eldest daughter in an old money-rich academic family going to an ivy league university where everyone is praying on my downfall so i can finish my assignments
12 notes Ā· View notes
realbeefman Ā· 1 year ago
Text
stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!
wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end
#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh#some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2#recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person#and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety#like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that#my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms#UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child#so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had#a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time#which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it#and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#stacy warner
556 notes Ā· View notes
petiolata Ā· 6 months ago
Text
Me finding out hyper-responsibility and responsibility OCD are a thing šŸ˜ never read about a disorder/behavior that so specifically matched my weird f**king problems.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Guess I will bring this up in therapy...
22 notes Ā· View notes
angelpuns Ā· 1 year ago
Text
me: I'm burnt out on TMNT:HME
also me: *the visceral need to explain stuff about myself through Leo rn*
67 notes Ā· View notes
yoihino Ā· 4 months ago
Text
Roleplay youtube channel for the stickman figures of animation vs animator was not something I had in my 2024 bingo but I am loving it
9 notes Ā· View notes
girlitfeelsgood Ā· 7 days ago
Text
I am getting so fed up with myself I just can't get myself to do anything
#like this is always a problem for me but it has been so bad lately#fear I need to be medicated but in typical me fashion I procrastinated calling the clinic I'm trying to go to for like 6 months#only got around to doing it like a month ago and they seem to have extremely long waitlist so I don't even know#if I'll be able to get an appointment before the summer#and if I don't I feel like I'll be completely fucked because my intention is to start studying fr in the autumn#and I want to try medication before then in the quite likely case that it won't work and will make me feel terrible#so that I don't have to deal with all that while starting studying#I just want to have things sorted by then but ofc that won't happen because I'm fucking useless and can't do anything#and the mental health care system in this region is so deeply fucking broken#and noting ever works out easily when it comes to me and medications#this has been a four year long journey and nothing has worked so far#also fear that when I made the application I didn't make my issues sound bad enough and they put me like last in the list#I mean I did say I was a student which sometimes makes you a priority but idek#anyways all this to say it's 17.30 and I've done nothing productive or enjoyable all day I've just been like buffering#and I've been like this nearly every day for the last several weeks and it's making me feel like a fucking waste of space#in general things are just Not Good right now#I've been sick for an entire month and I still feel like shit and I'm just so tired of everything#personal#and my fucking teeth hurt again GOD
2 notes Ā· View notes
cutemeat Ā· 2 years ago
Text
i know that they just included Mac Finds His Pride at the end of that 'episodes to watch before s16' post cuz they were going in chronological order w the eps listed and they're gonna bring up the dance this season ofc, but deep down i want it to have to do with Dennis Takes a Mental Health Day being at the end of this season and MFHP being a finale that did something unexpected and grounded in the emotional reality of a character somehow correlating to Dennis' ep....
39 notes Ā· View notes
asinglesock Ā· 5 months ago
Text
just realized my fatal flaw and the great struggle of possibly the rest of my life. while watching a cdrama.
#a sock speaks#local construction#fundamentally I lack the confidence needed to be a writer or a teacher#on the one hand I can't brazen my way out of this by pretending to be confident. I need to actually have the knowledge and skills I claim.#on the other hand I can't just say I'll be confident once I have more knowledge and experience. I have a master's degree!#I want to get more school but more school on its own will not fix this#I've let opportunities pass by because I was depressed. I didn't see how I could be enough for them.#or I was too tired (because I was depressed)#but sometimes it's bc I'm not sure if trying would make things better or worse (that one's on the OCD more than depression)#it makes sense that I lack confidence because of inexperience. but I can only gain experience by going for it. doing things badly is good.#it makes sense that I'm scared to face criticism. I've faced my whole community against me.#I've been stuck at someone's house debating scripture for hours with a migraine and no food. I think that was mildly traumatic for me.#but in most cases I am physically safe and the physical fear is irrational. I can work on this with some gentle exposure therapy.#but I need to bring together the effort to organize my thoughts and the bravado to hold my ground in an argument#and I can only build up this confidence with practice. I need to write. I need to do public speaking.#I'd need a platform for speaking (I'd hate to do a podcast or vlog but it'd be good for me)#but I should write! why am I not writing more? I need to write. writing is the way forward#several years ago I was in such deep despair with life that in order to survive I told myself#that I just had to survive. I didn't have to achieve anything or prove myself in any way as long as I stayed alive#and I went to grad school in Georgia not because I saw a path to a career in biblical studies but because school made me want to be alive#(extremely bizarre case of grad school not being the problem. I know.)#I know I missed a lot of benefits I could've had if I'd been mentally healthy when I went. but it's okay because it kept me going#I can go back to school or not go back. do biblical studies or do something else. I don't have big expectations for myself#but as my mental health improves it occurs to me that I COULD do more if only I believed it was worth the effort#I don't need to fear failure when the alternative was not even attempting it#I need to write. I need to write. I need to write.#I'm thinking I might start a newsletter or blog or something. some Bible stuff and some church/social commentary. just kind of open ended.
5 notes Ā· View notes
eastofedean Ā· 6 months ago
Text
8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)
#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to#i don't want to make people uncomfortable#and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane#it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions#and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any#of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you#it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done#such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical#and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt#of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything#i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not#visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness#is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow#i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace#i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie#life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do#this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals#and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting#them that was never my intention. i promise#so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about#you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to#navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate#the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people#not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too#I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking#brain of mine.
2 notes Ā· View notes
sanchoyo Ā· 6 months ago
Text
I WOULD get the most awful itch to write after months of not rly writing (tm2 scripting doesnā€™t count) during artfight huh šŸ˜”
#AUGHHH!! I want toWRITE#(sitting down to draw rn bc I have a huge list of charas I WANT RO DRAW BUT I WANT TO WRITE AT THE SAME TIME#WHY WAS I NOT BORN AN OCTOPUS SO I COULD MULTITASK WITH MANT ARMS)#I got back from the psych appointment a while ago and Iā€™m kinda exhausted mentally from that so Iā€™m not sure I could rly write even if I#want to lol#it went well itā€™s just that talking abt that kind of thing is exhausting and kind of embarrassing when itā€™s professionals like lol sorry my#brain sucks and then they ask well how does it suck. and thatā€™s embarrassing somehow#guy made me do math too and that was actually so painfully embarrassing I ended up just kind of asking if we could skip that bc after like#several guesses I could NOT do basic math at the top of my head šŸ˜­#like sir we both see Iā€™m struggling PLSS just mark this as a bad area and GO ON#he was so nice and that made it worse šŸ„² djdkfkrjfk#anyway when art fight is done I will write somethingā€¦.#maybe finish that loz fic I still have as a wip ?? I was deeply mad at it and also totk pissed me off so bad I didnā€™t want to touch a loz#fic for a while for fear of taking my frustration out on it and turning a fic into a fixit rant fic šŸ˜­ it isnā€™t even a botw fic lmaoo theres#no need for that. but also I could fix her (bad video game) (totk not botw I love botw)#hereā€™s 2 hoping echos of wisdom is good (PLEASE PLEASW BE GOOD RARE PLAYABLE ZELDA GAME)#(SO FEW LOZ GAMES LET U BE ZELDA I NEED U TO BE GOOD MY MENTAL HEALTH HIMGES ON U)#sanchoyorambles
2 notes Ā· View notes
skhardwarevers1 Ā· 9 months ago
Text
also disregard the fact that I accidentally openly spoke about something Iā€™ve been staying reeeeeaaal quiet about for months no I didnā€™t ^_^
3 notes Ā· View notes
neverendingford Ā· 11 months ago
Text
.
#tag talk#anytime my friends point out that something I say is good advice or express that they see me as aspirational I'm always just like....#wtf how am I am example to look up to I'm just an idiot bumbling his way through life trying to avoid hitting her head on cabinet corners#honestly it's mostly just seeing mistakes others have made and going ā€œI will not make those mistakes. I will make weirder mistakes than that#like. it feels a little like the ā€œI'm eighty years old I'm done with putting up with everyone's bullshitā€ except it's#it's ā€œI didn't kill myself so I'm not gonna put up with bullshit anymoreā€#like. I chose life. I'm not about to half-ass that decision. I'm not gonna walk back that decision. I'm not going to flinch away from it.#that fuckin... ā€œwhat do we have to fear but fear itselfā€ quote or whatever. like.. I died. you think anything else is gonna scare me?#if I'm going to be stuck here on this planet you bet your ass I'm gonna make the most of it. I'm not gonna be embarrassed. no shame.#we're all living here until we die and the things that matter are your own life and then the people around you.#I'm not going to miss out on a chance to find community and connection just because I'm afraid. I'm done being afraid.#though... I have been feeling shrimp emotions for the past two weeks and my stomach has tied itself up in knots over it.#I'm so detached because I'm afraid of feeling my emotions too strongly. so letting go and experiencing emotions is a lot for me.#and agghfffgghh I'm going to make it through this I'm going to make it through this but damn it's really rough#allowing yourself to get close to someone again after solidifying your position as unassailable is so hard.#especially because I've gotten so used to shielding the emotions of other people. hard to be honest when your honesty will hurt them#it's wild being around someone who's not wildly insecure because I can be genuine and honest and not worry about what I say hurting her.#I could say ā€œI'm leaving in a year do you still want to date?ā€ and trust that she would actually think it through and give a reliable answer#like. I can handle just my emotions because she's able to handle hers.#being in mental health spaces for so long I'm not used to interacting with emotionally stable people lmaooo#do you think I'm emotionally stable? I don't think I am. but then I meet other people who are wildly more unstable than I am and hmmm#like. sui wasn't an emotional choice it was a cost benefit analysis. I get emotionally unstable sure. but I contain myself until it's over.#I know enough to not be impulsive because I recognize impulsive behavior in others and thus in myself as well.#so like. I'm unstable but I'm not externally unstable. I know how to isolate when I'm in a wounded lashing out state.#anyway I've been processing so many emotions this past week because I'm wildly out of practice with allowing myself emotional honesty#instead of just bricking myself up behind my defensive apathy. I want to hold onto this. I want to continue to channel these emotions.#I want to be unafraid to tell people when I love them#though with her it's more of a Nerevarine situation. you are not someone I love but rather someone who might become that.#like. I haven't known her long enough to really say I love. but I very much think if things continue how they are I will be confident in it#and not even romantic love per se. I have some old friends who I genuinely love. several siblings who I love. most people I know I do not.
2 notes Ā· View notes
touchlikethesun Ā· 1 year ago
Text
okay i called some ppl over the weekend and we were talking about my graduation (which is nearly twelve months after i actually got my degree but w/e) and they asked what i was going to post on insta. and i think i laughed out loud bc there is no way i'm commemorating that online on a public platform where people that know me irl might actually see it
3 notes Ā· View notes
autistic-shaiapouf Ā· 2 years ago
Text
Am I the problem. Do my coworkers hate me
#scrambling to restore my reputation so they can at least put in a good word for me when i switch jobs#it's like. it's hard bc all my experience with communication and emotions is terrifying for me bc of my trauma#so i act really irrationally and passively; occasionally passive aggressively and everyone has picked up on it and it's like#i cant just say i didnt go directly to someone and speak my mind bc i was afraid of violence. i cant just say i was afraid#oh also to be able to freely express displeasure with someone without the fear of debilitating guilt.. a theme for me#I'm just. i can only say i have a lot on my mind so many times before it just sounds like an excuse#there is so much effort involved in the masking process and i can only keep it up for so long before i burn out#i try to be a good person i swear on my life i do; i just struggle and feel like I'm expected to not let that become other ppl's issue#like let me be absolutely clear when i say that i was in the wrong and was being frustrating and annoying with what i was doing#I'm just sitting here like. why did we wait so long to say something. i dont know what my behavior looks like#not to express profound sadness on main or anything but. a lot of things feel quite difficult for me#and it feels like the best thing to do is to keep that quiet so i can meet everyone else's baseline#i think. i may need a new job for my mental health. and physical bc my joint pain is worsening with the pharmacy work U_U#hoatm rants
8 notes Ā· View notes