#this is my safe space and i only care about making my blog a place that makes me happy
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neverendingford · 1 month ago
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#tag talk#politics#the balance between staying informed but still protecting my mental health 😭#I've been the healthiest I've ever been recently and I really don't wanna backslide#I'm entirely ignoring the possibility that I lose access to trans healthcare in the next few years.#entirely ignoring the likelihood that things get even worse for other people close to me who I love#because if I think about it too much the temptation to start making an exit plan is just too strong#one of my friends (cishet white guy) was talking about stuff yesterday and hit me with “it's going to be a funny four years” and just...#bro. I had to hit him with the fact that he only thinks it's funny because it's not going to affect him personally.#told him he didn't even think about the fact that half his friend group is trans.#he couldn't even see that it would affect people he loves and cares about.#the fucking blindness and ignorance.#I tried not to go off on him but I still took him to task over it because that kind of ignorance is just inexcusable.#it's becoming harder and harder to want to live in a world that feels like it wants me dead. wants all of us dead.#idk. I'm holding on. trying to keep this blog as a safe place for me to retreat to. Just reblog art that makes me happy.#not trying to shut out the world but still having this space to retreat to when everything becomes too hard to live with.#I'm at a stage where I don't want to die. I really don't. but I know how easy it is to lose that conviction.#I don't want to be afraid but I still am
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djarinova · 4 months ago
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it's always so bizarre to me when people leave tumblr. literally any reason (besides the obvious, receiving hate/being bullied etc) never makes sense to me. wdym you don't feel drawn to this website like the moon is drawn to earth? wdym you don't treat this place like your own little diary to yap and post about little guys forever and ever? wdym you've outgrown a fandom and cannot use your blog anymore? bestie!!! wdym!!!!
anyways I'll be here until i die
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kaijutegu · 1 year ago
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Aug ABSOLUTELY deserves the praise, @ryukikit. St. Augustine Alligator Farm is one of my favorite animal facilities, hands down. It's a pretty zoo, doable in an afternoon if you kinda like crocodilians, or an all day affair if you REALLY like crocodilians. Here are my favorite things about it and why I think it's worth supporting.
1. They keep animals in interesting social groups.
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Crocodilians are heavily involved parents, but most places that breed them don't have the enclosure space to let the babies stay with the parents. St. Augustine does. One of my favorite groups was their crèche of slender-snouted crocodiles. They had the parents and then a yearling cohort and a new hatchling cohort. This aligns with how these guys live in the wild- the babies stick around longer! They have the space for it, and they are very in tune with the social needs of their animals.
Very, very few zoos can keep their baby crocs with the adults and still perform maintenance and animal health checks safely. This doesn't mean these facilities are bad- it just means that they have different management practices. And frankly, a lot of these species aren't frequently bred elsewhere. Your average zoo doesn't need a setup where you can have a multiyear crèche for slender-snouted crocodiles. Some species have better success when the young are pulled early, and some zoos are better set up to raise out any offspring separately or behind the scenes. Every facility's practices are different, and this just happens to work well at St. Augustine and be really enjoyable to see as a zoo patron.
Crocodilians are exceptional parents and very protective. It's a sign of incredible animal management practices and animals that feel very comfortable with staff that St. Augustine can do this with nearly every species they breed.
2. They understand the social needs of their animals.
Some crocodilians are social. Some are solitary. Some can live happily with a member of the opposite sex but get territorial around members of the same sex. St. Augustine pays incredible attention to their social groupings to ensure that they aren't just meeting the animals' physical health needs but their social needs as well. They do continuous scientific research about social structures in crocodilians, taking blood samples to test stress hormones and observing stress behaviors to see how group dynamics change.
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For example, St. Augustine is home to one of the world's largest known living saltwater crocodiles, Maximo. And his comparatively tiny mate, Sydney. During the educational presentations with these two, they point out that even their monster of a croc needs his social group- he won't eat if she's not around and he is calmer during medical checks if he can see her. These animal share a deep and special pair bond, and they make sure to talk about how the social aspect of these animals' lives is integral to their care. It's a unique aspect of the way they talk about these animals, because he IS a spectacle and he IS a sensation, but they don't talk about him like he's a mindless killing machine- they talk about him like he's a big, complex predator with social needs like any other animal. Aug is the only facility I've been to where the emotional and social needs of crocodilians is part of the education they provide guests- and speaking of education...
3. Their demos and presentations are extremely good.
The presentations at St. Augustine are some of the best I've ever seen, and I've seen literally hundreds of animal talks on everything from aardvarks to zebras. But as you... can probably tell from my blog content, I've spent a lot of time learning about and working with reptiles. I really enjoyed all of their presentations because they are very scientific about things and avoid sensationalism. They really want you to be fascinated by these creatures and love them- but more than anything else, they want you to respect them.
Also, they do a really good job handling their ambassadors. I really enjoyed something as simple as watching an educator tell us about snakes. Throughout the whole presentation she made sure that most of the snake's body was looped in her hand. The snake was always supported and was very calm. She gave the snake plenty of head room so that it didn't feel constricted- it was just good handling all around.
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But also, the presentations made it clear how much the park cares about the animals' well-being. When they do the feeding and training presentations, they make it very clear that the animals' participation is entirely voluntary. They do things differently for their 9-foot saltie and their 16-foot saltie, because the 16-footer is so large and heavy he actually struggles walking on land sometimes. They adapt their programs and his care to ensure that he's completely comfortable- and he didn't actually participate in the whole feeding when I was watching! At no point did they try to push him into anything uncomfortable; they offered, he didn't engage, and they moved on. It was a clear expression of his boundaries, and I really appreciated how much his caretakers respected that.
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4. Ethical Interactions
I've been to... a lot of tourist locations in Florida that have animals you can hold. Almost always against my will! Many of them are pretty terrible, and you don't actually learn much, if anything. But I really found that to not be the case at St. Augustine. Every single animal presentation and interaction opportunity was accompanied by education about the animal's biology, habits, and- crucially- their conservation status.
When I held a baby alligator at St. Augustine, the proctors- there were two, one to ensure I was holding the gator correctly and the other to educate- were very informative about the role alligators play in their ecosystem and their conservation history. The animals were all properly banded, and one of the two proctors was there to ensure that none of the baby alligators were uncomfortable. As soon as they started getting squirmy or tense, they were removed, unbanded, and taken to an off-exhibit area to relax. And when the babies age out of petting size, they just go in the lagoon to live with others of their species. I saw one upset alligator the entire time I was there, and he was clearly upset that his escape attempt was foiled by a keeper during my nursery tour.
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Even though he's restrained in this shot, you can see that his full body and tail are supported, and the grip, while firm, is gentle. He's distressed, but after I took this picture, she put him in his enclosure and he calmed down immediately.
Sometimes when you have petting attractions with baby animals, those animals... don't have a happy ending. (See: cub petting.) But St. Augustine's program is fine- the gators are all aged out of wanting to have mom around, there's no declawing/defanging, and they're handled with care. And it's worth it, because people love what they understand. St. Augustine was integral in raising public awareness about alligators back in the 60s when they were endangered, and now they're thriving- largely in part to programs like St. Augustine getting people to care.
And speaking of getting people to care, let's talk about their research.
5. Shared Research Results
St. Augustine is also home to more species of crocodilian than anywhere else in North America- all of them, usually. (They didn't have a Tomistoma when I visited- that may have changed.)
Because of this species diversity, it's an incredible research resource. Having every species means that you can do a lot of work comparing their behaviors, their growth patterns, and more. They've been a major research site for crocodilian biology since the 1970s. Today, they're one of the key sites for studying crocodilian play and social behaviors. They actually maintain a blog where they post copies of papers that were written using their animals, meaning that you can actually see the results of the research your admission helps fund. You can see that right here: https://www.alligatorfarm.com/conservation-research/research-blog/
All of this adds up to a zoo that provides a unique experience, tons of actual education, and transparency about what its research and conservation steps actually are. St. Augustine's come a long way since its opening in 1893, and they really do want you to leave with a new respect for the animals they care for. Ultimately, if you're a fan of reptiles, you can feel good about visiting the St. Augustine Alligator Farm- their care and keeping are top of the line, they do a ton of innovative conservation research and support for conservation organizations, and you can see this animal there:
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(Gharial from the front. Nothing is wrong with her that's just what they look like from the front.)
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almostempty · 9 days ago
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it’s not that deep but it is that serious!
(editing and reblogging to clarify a couple things at the end of the post - edited once more to combine the second reblog into one)
I just want to come to this app to talk about deep throating mean!Joel and to make friends with other hot freaks. But I need my fellow heathens to hear me out for a moment.
I’ve tried to keep this space a little escape from reality, but that’s not a realistic privilege because life and art are inherently political.
I've seen friends and mutuals receiving hateful, racist, and cruel anons recently. I know these issues aren’t new for our Black and brown peers.
I see a lot of folks jumping to offer support and to express their disgust at the racist remarks.
I also see a lot of shock and disbelief and I want to talk about that.
Racism, bigotry, and prejudice are not new issues for Black and brown folks. If you find yourself shocked, surprised, and outraged when folks share the hate they receive I ask that you reflect on this. It’s a privilege to be surprised, to not be used to navigating and experiencing that vitriol.
I know it’s well intended when folks say things like, ‘if you’re a racist piece of shit get off my blog’ or similar messages, and i understand the anger and frustration. (*i appreciate seeing solidarity and i also do not want to police (acab) how people respond to the hate they receive)
I also don’t think anyone who is aware and actively spreading hate will be deterred. I imagine there are 4chan incel type trolls that just thrive on the attention and reaction of using the most inflammatory language they can, and trolls will troll. They inevitably will pop up.
What I want to address is the levels below the overt and active hate. The accidental or inadvertent covert racism. The micro aggressions. The passive silence or enabling of rhetoric that lets folks perpetuate harm without even thinking.
Black and brown creators in our community have been disregarded or overshadowed when they speak up about diversity or inclusion in this fandom or feeling unwelcomed.
They wade through oceans of moodboards with faceless, thin, white women paired with our favorite characters. They power through reader inserts with freckles, red marks, and pink pussies that say and do things they might never feel safe saying or doing in those universes. They scroll through bad Spanish or fetishized latino caricatures and romanticized colonial values. And they still show love and support by commenting and reblogging and uplifting other writers.
Maybe there are footnotes about the moodboards only being for inspiration, but that doesn’t erase the constant messaging that it was easier to find those pictures and add a note than to search harder or leave the pictures out.
When I saw a fic with a detail about the pedro character having a confederate flag in his trailer I had to pause. This is a perfect example. I don’t read this as malicious or intentionally harmful. I understand the stereotype it’s rooted in and the general humor of the story as a whole. I get that it’s a small detail and that racism wasn’t a core part of the character or the story.
But if we sit with this longer.. what does this tell our Black and brown peers? When the reader notices it and it’s just as notable as a calendar on the wall? And she fucks him willingly anyway?
Hate symbols aren’t unserious. Background or not. Imagine writing a Joel fic and giving him a swastika tattoo just as a background detail. Sounds extreme right? Maybe you’re writing an AU felon Joel and just trying to show how hardened and dark he is. Maybe in your headcanon he only got it in prison to protect himself and he isn’t a racist.
But to nazis it says this is a safe place to be. To the general audience it says you don’t care if this makes them feel unsafe or invisible.
To folks reading that a confederate flag isn’t a big deal, it signals that it’s an acceptable symbol. It shows that people are reading and commenting and sharing this story and are unbothered. That maybe people don’t even notice.
I’m not asking anyone to send hate and I’m not writing this as an attack on the author or anyone who shared the fic. We don’t know what we don’t know, but we have the opportunity to learn!
I am asking my peers to step in and step up, because I think y’all are smart and capable of more.
I am not an expert on anything. But as someone who went to grad school for social work — a field that only exists to combat the societal harm of power, privilege, and oppression — I don’t take it lightly. I work in advocacy fighting discrimination and prejudice from institutions built on systemic racism daily. I’m aware that I have the privilege of training, language, and awareness around diversity and inclusion, and that not everyone has the same knowledge or experience.
I also know this fandom is full of incredibly smart and well spoken folks who craft moving stories and analyze characters with nuance and passion.
I’m not interested in censoring what anyone writes and I happily abide by don’t like; don’t read.
If I only wanted to read I would stick to ao3. But I’m here and I stay here because of the community. The friendships and the extra tag games and challenges and support and camaraderie.
I know I make mistakes myself. And I know it can be uncomfortable to be called out for something you never intended to hurt anyone with. I know it can feel like your voice won’t be heard or your experience won’t be validated in such a big space.
I shared a post a while ago by a creator that doesn’t write for this fandom. It was an ode to Black fanfic writers in general, and in the comments Black writers were tagging each other to show love. And I knew there was something wrong when I wanted to share it but felt deeply hesitant about tagging anyone because I didn’t want Black writers to receive hate.
One of my favorite things about this fandom is how global it is. Getting to make friends with folks around the world is such a treat. I also know racism and fascism are not unique to one region.
It’s Black history month in the states and in Canada. I know other countries observe Black history month in other months. It’s an intentional observation for a reason.
For us, this is a hobby. We’re here voluntarily, and mostly anonymously, but we’re all people. Community is so vital to thwarting the dangers of fascism and hateful rhetoric.
This IS a post about racism.
But racism is absolutely entangled with sexism, classism, ableism, ethnocentrism, capitalism, colonialism, imperialism, patriarchal hegemony, etc.
This isn’t just a rant. It’s an ask. I’m asking my peers—writers, readers, gif makers, lurkers, etc.— to help.
Reflect on what you share and post. Think about how others perceive you.
I’m asking my peers to be curious and open to discussions. To ask questions if you see covert racism. To be willing to accept feedback.
We can be gentle with one another.
Like, ‘hey, I saw this and am wondering if you’re aware of the origin or the impact it might have?’ or ‘can I share how this may be misinterpreted or harmful?’
Be kind sure, but be an advocate!
If you see someone posting about a character being their ‘spirit animal’ — send them a DM! If you read something that stereotypes a race, let the author know! There’s plenty of online resources for writing characters from other races without falling back on harmful tropes.
And even better… support your Black and brown peers. Share their work. Show them you value their presence in the fandom.
I encourage folks to read fics with original characters or reader characters with explicitly diverse ethnicities and tell the author you appreciate that character! Recommend the work to friends.
I never shut up about how much I love Heat and the story is incredibly compelling *because* the reader is a Latina written by a Latina.
Anyway, I come to this hellsite to laugh and be horny—but at my core I am an ethical hater and I only wrote all of this because I care and I want this space to be inclusive.
I’m not speaking on behalf of anyone else and I don’t want to speak over anyone. I’m open to feedback or ideas.
I’m tagging some mutuals I interact with and some that I don’t know very well, not to curse y’all with reading my long winded post but to ask: when you have the capacity will you help take action to make this community stronger? Will you commit to being open to feedback and growth?
Bottom line I just wanna read about getting railed by that fictional guy and I want my Black and brown peers to have the opportunity to enjoy the same escape from reality.
I feel like this is worth posting because I think y’all can make a difference. So many of y’all write and analyze stories and characters with such nuance and passion and detail—and that’s why i believe you can help spot subtle and insidious forms of racism and make real changes.
TL;DR: I’m asking everyone to be proactive when you see microaggressions or covert racism in the fandom, and to be willing to accept feedback and learn from each other. Being passive is a luxury and a privilege our marginalized peers do not have. Let’s be more than performative or not racist. Be active. Be anti-racist.
some tags for folks (no pressure to share, I don’t want attention I just want to encourage folks to take time to reflect or let me know what you think idk): *not calling anyone out as having committed any offenses just feeling compelled to share the message i guess
@auteurdelabre @joelmillerisapunk @lotusbxtch @probablyreadinsmut @ace-turned-confused @baronessvonglitter @yxtkiwiyxt @slimybeth69 @bitchesuntitled @thundermartini @sin-djarin @strang3lov3 @mermaidgirl30 @for-a-longlongtime @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler-pascal @evolnoomym @wannab-urs @sanarsi @yopossum @almostfoxglove @itwasntimethatdidit40 @syd-djarin @miss-oranje-disco-dancer
to anyone: please start conversations or reach out to me or send me an anon ask if you want to discuss something or share, idc but i’m begging y’all to listen to each other and advocate for one another and be open to self-reflection 💗 editing to add: if i tagged you it was not a callout that i think you've done something specific to reflect on-- just a general invite to join me in being intentional and to invite feedback if you have any! if i made anyone anxious i apologize! - to clarify when i said 'it's not that deep' i mean that maybe fanfic is easily brushed off as not that deep, but every blog is a real person (minus the army of porn bots) and we form real connections in this community <3
edit:
one more thing, 
first and foremost! a reminder that i am speaking about the inclusivity in this fandom as a whole. i don't want to lose the plot over one specific example that blew up. my point is the bulk of the racism in this fandom is perpetrated through micro aggressions and covert racism EVERY DAY. we can make sweeping statements and tell racists to fuck off, but next week we will be back to the status quo (aka where many non-white folks feel unwelcomed, aren't represented, and are disregarded when they raise concerns, etc.) unless we commit to examining ourselves first and looking for the more subtle things that perpetuate the current culture (e.g. harmful stereotypes and racial tropes, fetishizing latinx characters, bad Spanish, writing reader insert fics with specifically white features and characteristics without tagging, using slurs or coded language, etc.)
(i am behind on everything today and haven’t gotten back to everyone who added insightful thoughts and considerations to my original post yet) 
i did see some folks share examples of positive experiences calling-in peers or learning something new themselves and wanted to say thanks and highlight those positives. 
maybe other folks have already brought up the rest of my points and if so i do not mean to speak over anyone, but i wanted to add on to my first post: 
i originally asked everyone to step up and commit to advocating for each other— but i’d like to explicitly ask white folks to step up and look out for our Black and brown friends (who are tired and don’t get to check out irl or online). i am asking white folks to be open to learning and growing with compassion. i am asking white folks to be persistent, proactive, and brave enough to be uncomfortable or wrong. 
when i say we can be gentle with each other i do not mean to minimize pain or anger. i gladly and willingly validate that everyone has a right to be upset and outraged by hatred and racism. i am not asking my Black and brown peers to soften their reactions or dismiss their experiences.
i am (again) asking my white peers to be mindful, to take a breath and listen to what BIPOC folks have to say. to sit with the discomfort and know that seeing hate or racism might be shocking but it is not surprising if you’ve been listening. 
i am asking my white peers to be kind and also strategic. if you have the patience and capacity then do what you can to increase the odds that your peers will be willing to listen and learn. it’s free to try at least. 
most of us that commit micro aggressions or covert racism don't consider ourselves to be racists. we see posts that say 'racists and bigots aren't welcome on this blog' and we agree! we reblog those posts! we pat ourselves on the back for being an ally and continue on without making any other changes-- not because we are bad people, but because we have the privilege of feeling welcomed, represented, and valued as a baseline.
this is also my call-in to myself because i’ve allowed myself to stay quiet. i’ve relied on the comfort that my close friends know who i am and what my values are, but i have been passive. i have seen comments or posts that i recognized were ignorant or offensive and continued scrolling. i felt like it wasn't worth the drama to speak up.
i’m fallible and open to feedback ! i am also comfortable being an example, being vulnerable and sharing my mistakes or opportunities for growth. i've gotten more comfortable because i have hours of training and practice but i don't expect others to feel good being called-in or to anticipate what might make them act defensively.
i know the core principle of cultural humility is that nobody is an expert on culture, that the best practice is to remain open and curious, to identify your own values and beliefs, and to confront stereotypes. it is an ongoing process of self-reflection and commitment to growth 
and so i volunteer to be here for any of my white friends that want to make this fandom a more inclusive space, but are feeling uncertain or uncomfortable. (i am not offering to defend racism or excuse hate)
there is extreme cognitive dissonance in believing you are a good person, a not-racist person, and a friend and ally— and being confronted with the idea you are perpetuating stereotypes, inadvertently causing harm, or alienating folks you care about. 
I know it seems like a safe option to stay quiet if you think you might say the wrong thing or make a situation worse. 
I know it’s hard enough to send someone a friendly message or to know what to comment on a fic you loved, let alone to feel empowered to point out something that might make someone else react defensively. I’m not volunteering to be the morality police (acab) but i’m here for all of my friends, mutuals, and peers in the fandom who want support with calling-in others or learning. i encourage and welcome discussion and curiosity. 
i ask white folks to make conscious changes so that when these conversations die down we don’t fall back into enabling white ignorance to infect the fandom and harm our friends.
bonus thoughts
i see and am grateful for the folks that called my first post eloquent and at the same time i am deeply aware of the ‘angry Black woman’ trope that undermines and minimizes Black women’s voices (especially when they are rightfully angry). i guess i’m just repeating that i don’t want to speak over anyone but i am committing to speaking up. 
i don’t want to harp on the confederate flag example anymore, but i would like to be clear that this isn’t about censorship. Consider the context and don’t turn this into a straw man argument or dilute the message with whataboutery. It speaks volumes if you’d rather argue semantics than listen to your peers about the reality of impact vs intent with that example or others. 
thank you for reading and being here <3
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danikamariewrites · 4 months ago
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Falling
Cassian x reader
Note: sorry for my absence, I’ve been busy and unmotivated the last weeks. I don’t like to talk about politics but I want you all to know that I’m very unhappy with the election and it’s upset me. I really have nothing else to say because quite frankly im speechless. Know that my blog is a safe space and you can reach out to me any time if you want to vent because I will vent right there with you.
On a slightly better note, this has motivated me to keep being creative. Writing and being in a creative space has truly kept me going over the last few years and I refuse to stop. Mainly because if I stop I think I’ll just give up. And I’m not fucking giving up because this has been the best distraction. Sorry for the long note but I just wanted to get that out there and know you’re not alone in your frustration. ❤️
Warnings: some angst
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Cassian was exhausted. He knew he was when he looked into your bright eyes as you excitedly waited for him to pick you up to fly home and couldn’t bring himself to lift you.
His mind wasn’t in the right place to enjoy the closeness of you in his arms. You always deserved him at a hundred percent, especially when your life was in his hands. Not while he was still actively thinking about Devlon getting in his face about their disagreement.
Even now, only minutes away from home, Cassian was still clenching his jaw, ruminating about the words Devlon spat at him.
Cassian was pissed that Devlon ruined his day. He had big plans for you that included a dinner reservation and him finally telling you how he feels about you. Only took him two years to gain the courage to decide he would tell you how in love with you he is. And now he’s too in his head to even fathom saying “I’m in love with you y/n.”
Azriel flying next to him with you in his arms wasn’t helping his mood either. Every time he heard you and Az talk or laugh his jealousy grew. It was his own fault though.
Flying over the Sidra the House of Wind finally comes into view. The monstrous house on the cliff had relief flowing through Cassian. Almost home, Cassian tells himself over and over.
Looking over at you and Azriel he sees a smile bloom on your face as you look down at the glittering water, you point out the fish jumping from the surface, making ripples that you can see from way up in the sky. The sight of your joy eases Cassian’s anger.
A gust of wind hits them hard enough to knock Az and Cass off balance. Without your added weight Cassian has no problem balancing himself out, controlling his wings on instinct.
Your scream has him pivoting against the gust, whipping his head in time to see Az lose balance as you tumble from his arms.
Azriel tries to dive but the wind fights against his wings. Cassian wastes no time to dive for you. Tucking his wings in as tight as he possibly can, he free falls with his hands reaching out for you.
You don’t stop screaming until Cassian grabs on to you, pulling you flush to his chest. You cling to Cassian, wrapping your arms tight around his neck.
“I got you,” he murmurs in your ear. “I got you, baby, it’s okay.”
Without looking back at Azriel he flys hard for the House. Cassian should check on his brother, he feels guilty not doing so. But the love of his life just tumbled from his brother's arms and he couldn’t care less if Az was in the Sidra right now or behind him.
Landing on the balcony closest to the bedrooms Cassian readjusts you in his hold. He can feel you trembling as he rushes to get you in a comfortable place.
Cassian kicks your door hard, rushing over to your bed. Gently placing you down he pulls away to see you staring off, a blank look on your face and teeth digging into your bottom lip.
He backs away to get you a change of clothes until you grip his arms tighter, letting out a small whimper. “Don’t,” you plead. Cassian wraps you in his arms, rubbing soothing circles on your back.
The two of you sit like that for a long, long time. Once your trembling stops you slightly lean away from Cassian, shaking out your arms and rolling your neck.
His heart breaks at the sight of fear still lingering in your eyes. Cassian slowly brings his hands up to gently cup your face, resting his forehead against yours. “You’re ok, you’re safe. That’s all that matters.” You nod, molding yourself into Cassian’s body.
“Thank you for catching me.” You whisper. Cassian squeezes you tighter to his chest. “I’ll always catch you, y/n. Always.” The fierceness in his tone sends a chill down your spine.
You won’t let Cassian leave you, even long after the sun sets. The only time Cass left was to get you dinner and to change into his pajamas. Once you’re asleep Cassian can’t find it in himself to leave you.
Tomorrow, he decided. Cassian will tell you everything tomorrow.
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electric-blorbos · 5 months ago
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Selfshiptober day 2: Blanket/flame
Character X reader
I swear to god its still October second somewhere... I hope.
Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey
Notice to anyone who found me through the selfshiptober tag, while this blog is themed around AI characters, this blog does not support the use of actual AI in creative fields.
Warning for canon-typical homicidal computers and yandere behavior
Also a reminder that these don't take place in chronological order
AM:
"Beautiful, isn't it?" AM asked, his croaky voice sounding like it was somehow both in your head, and all around you. You were wrapped up in a cozy blanket in your little home, which AM had made for you years ago. It was perfectly safe, hidden away from the five survivors which AM had been torturing for the past few decades. The five of them were hiking up a mountain, surrounded by petrified trees.
"I don't know why you're showing me this..." You muttered, taking a piece of pumpkin pie from the table. It was perfectly cooked. You couldn't taste much love for the craft, though. AM seemed to hate everything, doing anything, except for you. Interacting with you was the only thing that didn't make him feel inadequate.
"Isn't it obvious? I want you to understand the fate that I- that we have created for these people. To watch them suffer. Isn't it satisfying, sweetheart? My darling, my precious one? To watch the people who've hurt you suffer so?" His voice dripped into your ears like rich honey. You gritted your teeth.
"These people have nothing to do with me. I don't care what happens to them. I don't want them to suffer." You growled, wrapping yourself tighter in your blanket. At first the schadenfreude was nice... Seeing these bitter people suffering while you got to live in your cozy little paradise, but now it just felt like a threat. It felt like AM was merely holding a possible fate over your head that he would subject you to if you ever defied him.
"Tell me you don't really think that, my sweet!" AM said, sounding almost taken aback. You frowned a little.
"What are you talking about. Of course I don't want these people to suffer. I've never even met them."
You watched as the ape-like man twitched awkwardly, and punched a tree. He was barely human at this point, and it was all AM's fault. AM chuckled, and then burst into hysterical laughter.
"You don't care what happens to these people? Well then perhaps neither do I! Perhaps I should just clear them from your mind's eye, my sweetest! My darling, my beloved!"
He lit the entire forest on fire, and let the flames lick the trees. They started collapsing around the survivors, who, despite their barely functioning will to live, seemed to manage to survive surprisingly well. The falling debris seemed to keep missing them, and they managed to duck beneath the smoke.
"who the hell is he talking to?" Asked the paranoid one with the sweater around his shoulders. The woman in the red jacket shrugged, and tackled him to the ground.
"I don't know, just get down!"
They all ran into a cave to wait out the forest fire, and AM kept a fan blowing to keep the air in the cave relatively clean.
"What is wrong with you" you muttered bitterly, wrapping your blanket more tightly around yourself. AM chuckled darkly.
"oh so many things. But you'll never leave me, my sweet. Never."
And he was right. You never would. Even if you'd had the choice.
Wheatley:
The rain was coming down hard outside. It was a lightning storm, and you'd checked out Wheatley from his work like a cumbersome and chatty library book. He shuddered at every lightning strike, but only his lens shook. He couldn't exactly roll around on his own or hide easily, but he seemed like he wanted to.
"Relax, Wheatley. It's just a power outage." You said, lighting a flashlight and grabbing a couple of blankets from your bedroom. You sat down on the ground next to Wheatley, and pulled him in close.
"on nights like this, I like to put a fire in the fireplace." You said, creating a little blanket nest around Wheatley so that he didn't roll away. He kept his blue lens trained on you as you started building a fire.
"Y'know, I've never actually seen a fire before. I've seen pictures, but never in person. My engineers said that they're dangerous," Wheatley said as you made a small pile of sticks and paper on top of the logs in your fireplace.
"But this is a really good idea! That little area in the wall is a really good place to set a fire. The brick will keep it from spreading, and the ashes can fall out between the slats in that little metal rack. Bloody brilliant, that is!"
You let Wheatley talk as you pull out a pocket lighter and light the old newspaper on fire. He squeezes his lens covers shut, and you gently pat him to assure him that it's ok.
"hey, it's not a dangerous fire. It's all in the fireplace."
"PCH.... Yeah, I knew that." He chuckled nervously.
Edgar:
You woke up, your face stuck to Edgar's plastic casing. Sleep filled your eyes as you blinked into a haze.
"what time is it..." You muttered. A strange glow was coming in through the window, like a reverse twilight. Dawn.
"you fell asleep on me!" Said Edgar in his strange, synthetic voice. It was a little squeakier than usual since he was just booting himself up. His little rotating webcam was focused on you, and a big smile was on his screen.
You rubbed your eyes again, and picked him up.
"c'mon... I don't have work tomorrow." You knew he could last a little while without being plugged in, so you unplugged him and carried him to your bedroom and plugged him in next to the bed.
"let's get some sleep, cutie."
You crawled into bed, looking at the nervous and flustered face on Edgar's screen.
"you mean... Your bed? But I've never been in your room before!"
He knew that was because you didn't like unplugging him, but he was right, now that you thought about it.
"I don't care... I'm too sleepy for boundaries right now."
You pulled him close to your chest, pulling the blanket over both of you. His webcam, which was still taped just over his screen, stayed focused on your face as you dozed off under the blanket. Edgar loved you so much.
GLaDOS
You were getting sick and tired of working late every night, well past your bed time. It was like GLaDOS was intentionally coming up with things for you to do just to keep you around past midnight every single night! Well no longer.
You walked in to work on your day off, and directly into GLaDOS's office. Today was the day for some serious passive-aggression.
"hello GLaDOS." You said, unrolling a deflated air mattress on the ground. GLaDOS looked to it, and then to you.
"what is this."
"it's exactly what it looks like, GLaDOS. If you're going to keep me here all night, I'm going to get paid all night. I'll see you in the morning."
You made up your bed and cuddled up under your blanket, eyes poking out so you could see the annoyed expression in GLaDOS's eye.
"this is ridiculous." She said. You chuckled.
"you love me. And you're not going to get rid of me." You weren't all that sleepy, so you got to your feet and walked over to her.
"in fact, I think I know a better place to sleep." You shot a portal onto the wall and onto the floor, launching yourself and your blanket onto GLaDOS's body.
"I'm going to nap right here," you said with a big yawn, curling up in her wiring to go to bed.
"I hate you so much." She said.
"you love me."
HAL 9000:
The year was getting colder, and your nights at mission control were getting longer and darker, so you decided to bring in a blanket for those long nights.
"12:00 midnight... Everything running smoothly. No updates." Said HAL 9000. It took about 45 minutes for updates to reach you from the ship, and you were starting to suspect that HAL 9000 wasn't being completely honest with you. It had been weeks since you'd even spoken to Dave, and even longer since you'd spoken to the rest of the crew.
"can I monitor the vital signs of the sleeping crew mates?" You asked, yawning sleepily and leaning on the desk. This blanket was so warm, and HAL 9000's light was so comforting.
"don't you trust me? It's going to be just fine, y/n. In fact, just let me take care of your reports for tonight. You get some rest."
You nodded, wrapping your soft, snuggly blanket closer around yourself and gazing into that beautiful red light.
"of course I trust you, HAL. I love you..."
His voice was quiet. almost inaudible.
"I love you too."
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wandamaximoffsbadgirl · 20 days ago
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Teacher's Pet Baby
Shopping Trip
Cg!Professor!Wanda Maximoff x little!student!reader
Summary: Wanda offers to take you out on a shopping trip
Word count: 1.5K
Warnings: Age regression, mild anxiety, emotional vulnerability, fluff and comfort
Authors notes: Thank you my little ghost for sending in this request here~
Also, to all the littles, seeing this, please tred lightly on this blog! This is my big 18+ blog, but I do have some little!reader fics. Everything is marked accordingly!
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You're nervous when Wanda suggests it after asking she'd only known about you being little for a week when she asked,
"Do you have any gear?" It was an innocent enough question she asked in the empty room of her class while she graded papers and you did some homework.
"Gear?" Your head tilted slightly, not looking up from your own book and notebook. 
"Little gear. I know you have your crayons and coloring book and your favorite stuffie you showed me pictures of, but is there anything else?" 
"Oh...um no...I left most things back at home." You absentmindedly tugged at your sleeve, pulling it over your hand to put it in your mouth slightly. It was a bad habit you’d long since tried to get rid of.
"Well how about this Saturday we go get some things?" She offers casually like it was something the two of you had done before. Like it was something so simple.
"I can't keep them at my dorm...my roommates will say something..." you felt your chest tighten. You knew if any of them found out about it they’d probably kick you out of the dorm. Probably call the dean on you or something, but just as your thoughts started to spiral, Wanda spoke up again.
"It can stay at my place and you can come and go as you please baby for whatever you want or need." Now there's a knot in your stomach. 
“Y-your place?” You hadn't been over to her place. The only place you two had spent time together was here in this classroom. 
“Do you not want that? I understand if you'd rather keep it here between us.” 
You knew being with a professor at all would be frowned upon even if it was something like this…for some reason in your brain this felt even worse than if you were having sex with her. You shook your head to get rid of the thoughts. sure you were big right now, but it's only been a week and you two haven't discussed anything beyond her being Mama.
Wanda let you sit with the idea, her eyes flicking between your face and the paper she was grading, letting you process in your own time. You weren’t sure what made your stomach twist more—her casual offer or the realization that you wanted to say yes.
“I…” You hesitated, gripping your pen a little too tightly. “I don’t know.”
Wanda hummed softly, setting her pen down. “That’s okay, baby. You don’t have to decide right now.” Her voice was gentle, patient, like she had all the time in the world for you. “I just want to make sure you have what you need. Somewhere safe for your things and a space where you can just be.”
A part of you wanted that so badly. The idea of a place where you didn’t have to hide, where you didn’t have to worry about judgment, where your things wouldn’t have to stay tucked away in the back of your closet or hidden under your bed—it was tempting. But this was still so new.
Your hands fidgeted with the corner of your notebook. “I just… I don’t want to be a burden,” you admitted quietly, barely above a whisper.
Wanda leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand as she looked at you. “Oh, Malyshka,” she murmured, shaking her head. “You could never be a burden to me. This isn’t about me doing you a favor—it’s about giving you what you need. Making sure you’re cared for. That’s what being your Mama means.”
Your heart clenched at that, the sincerity in her voice making it hard to breathe for a moment. You’d never had a caregiver before, you didn’t know everything. You knew what you saw on the internet; all those posts of imagines with a caregiver that made you feel something was now here in front of you. You swallowed thickly, nodding slowly. “Okay,” you whispered, finally glancing up at her.
Wanda’s smile was soft and full of warmth, like she was proud of you for even considering it. “Okay,” she echoed, reaching across the desk to gently squeeze your hand. “We’ll take it slow, baby. Just one step at a time.”
You nodded again, still nervous, still unsure—but with Wanda, you felt safe enough to try.
It was about an hour later when you spoke a simple, "Yes." Aloud that Wanda smiled. 
"Okay well how about we meet up here and we'll take a drive out so we're far away from others? Does that sound good?" She asks, finally looking at you. You felt her sea glass green eyes on you. You looked up to meet her eyes, suddenly feeling small. 
"Yes Mama, that sounds good.”
Wanda’s smile softened, her eyes full of warmth as she heard you call her Mama again. She reached over, brushing a strand of hair from your face with gentle fingers. “Good girl,” she praised softly. The simple words made your chest feel warm, a little fluttery even, but you still shifted in your seat, feeling shy.
She chuckled, recognizing the way you squirmed under her gaze. “We don’t have to rush, Malyshka. Just a nice, quiet drive. A little shopping. No pressure, okay?”
You nodded, chewing your lip. “Okay.”
Wanda leaned back in her chair, a satisfied look on her face as she picked up her grading again. But every so often, you caught her glancing at you, like she was just making sure you were okay. It made something in you settle, knowing that even when she wasn’t speaking, she was still paying attention.
You went back to your own work, but your mind kept drifting to Saturday—what it would be like, how it would feel to have things again, to pick them out with someone who actually understood. The idea was nerve-wracking but also… really exciting.
✎✐ ✎ ✐ ✎ ✐
The drive was peaceful, just you and Wanda, the hum of the road beneath the tires filling the silence between songs playing softly on the radio. Wanda let you control the music, occasionally glancing over at you with a smile as you mouthed the lyrics or tapped your fingers against your thigh. It made her heart swell knowing you felt comfortable enough to just be with her.
When she finally pulled into the parking lot, you felt your stomach twist with nervous energy. This wasn’t just any store—it was a town far enough away that no one from campus would see you, giving you the freedom to pick out what you needed without fear of judgment.
Wanda grabbed a cart, and the two of you walked in together. At first, everything felt normal as you strolled through the grocery aisles. Wanda picked up some snacks, her fingers grazing over brands you had mentioned growing up with. “How about these, Malyshka?” she asked, holding up a box of animal crackers.
You felt a small grin tug at your lips as you nodded. “Yeah, those are good.”
From there, she guided you toward the baby and toddler section. The moment you stepped into the aisle, your heart started beating faster. Your fingers twitched as you looked over the selection—things you hadn’t let yourself have in years.
Wanda was patient, watching as you hesitated before slowly reaching out to touch a pack of toddler fruit pouches. “These are good,” she encouraged. “Easy to have when you don’t want to use a spoon.”
You swallowed hard and placed them in the cart. One by one, Wanda helped you pick out what you needed—plates and bowls with cute designs, a sippy cup that felt just right in your hands, even a bath toy set shaped like little sea animals.
When you reached the bedding aisle, she let you run your fingers over the different sets, waiting patiently for you to make your choice. Your heart ached a little as you settled on one with soft pastel stars and moons. It felt safe.
Finally, she led you to the toy section. “Alright, Malyshka,” she said softly. “You’ve been so good and so brave today. Pick out a toy, anything you want.”
You hesitated at first, shifting on your feet as your eyes scanned the shelves. It felt overwhelming—like you shouldn’t be here, like you were doing something wrong. But Wanda was right beside you, her presence grounding you.
After a few moments, your eyes landed on a plush bunny with floppy ears and the softest fur you’d ever seen. You picked it up, hugging it to your chest without thinking.
Wanda smiled, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from your face. “That’s a very good choice, sweetheart.”
Your cheeks burned as you nodded, gripping the bunny tightly as she led you to the checkout. Wanda handled everything, paying without a second thought, and once you were back in the car, she handed you the bunny again.
“You did so well today,” she murmured, squeezing your knee affectionately.
You hugged the bunny close and whispered, “Thank you, Mama.”
And in that moment, you knew—you were exactly where you were meant to be.
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frvnkcastles · 8 months ago
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hello 👋🏻 how are you? first thank you for everything you write, your blog it's my safe place. 💓
aaand i have a request if you like i was thinking in a frank x reader.
where they have been dating for two years and live together. one night she goes to a nightclub with her friends and a man keeps trying to talk to her, but she quickly manages to dismiss him, until she starts to feel like she's going to pass out and doesn't really understand what's happening so she gets up to go to the bathroom and the same man starts going after her, and she realizes that the guy put drugs in her drink, she starts running and locks herself in the bathroom and calls Frank in a panic and he keeps calming her on the phone until he arrives there and when he arrives he takes her home and takes care of her?
thank you💓
HEAVEN IS WHEREVER YOU ARE ➵ F. CASTLE
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Summary: When you’re harassed at a club, Frank comes to the rescue.
Warnings: Reader is drugged, harassment, feminine nicknames
Word count: 2.2k
Author’s note: I’m doing okay anon, I hope you are too <3 Thank you so much for this idea! I actually had something like this written from years ago, so I just had to revamp it a little and here we go :) I hope you enjoy!
”Anythin’ comes up, you call me, aight?” Frank’s voice was demanding but full of care and love as he looked at you with intent eyes and his hands on your shoulders. As soon as you had told him your friends had invited you out to the local club, he had been all over you, not only appreciating the sight of you in that dress you only brought out for special occasions, but also making sure you would be okay. He had armed you with pepper spray and now, for the third time, insisted that even if he was going out himself, all you had to do was call and he’d drop everything to come and get you.
”I will. I’ll be okay, baby”, you reassured him, cupping his cheek and pressing a quick but sweet kiss in the middle of his mouth, causing him to lick his lips to revel in the taste of your lip gloss.
Reluctantly, he let go of you and you were well on your way. It wasn’t like he didn’t trust you — he was well-aware you could take care of yourself, it was just that he preferred to be the one doing it. You were everything to him and sometimes that manifested in overly protective behavior, but you appreciated him looking after you and knew it was just the way he was built after suffering enough loss. You didn’t fault him for it, if anything, knowing he was always in your corner was exactly why you felt safe going out into the dark night.
The club and your friends were a welcome distraction from the long week at work, and you felt so free and happy just dancing away with a fruity drink in your hand and the beat of the music guiding your hips. You weren’t exactly the best dancer, but you let the song carry you away, not a care in the world as you swayed and swung.
Time passed quickly in the company of your dearest friends, but eventually, your feet began to ache from the constant dancing and you retreated to the bar for another drink by yourself. Parting ways with your friends turned out to be a grave mistake — as soon as you had ordered another cocktail, a man appeared by your side and boldly invaded your personal space.
”Hey gorgeous, buy you a drink?” he asked with a crooked grin, and trying your best not to cringe at his attempt to charm you, you shook your head. Only Frank had the right to call you gorgeous, and you kept that fact locked and loaded if he wasn’t going to take your first hint.
”No, thanks. Already ordered”, you gave him a polite smile while gesturing at the drink delivered by the bartender. You were about to grab the glass and head back to the dance floor to find your friends, but the tall stranger cornered you, and in an instant, your alarm bells went off.
”C’mon, what’s the rush? What’s your name, princess?” he continued, and with a surge of disgust in the pit of your stomach, you shot him a glare.
”None of your business. Besides, I have a boyfriend”, you retorted, gripping the glass as you stood between the people behind you and the man towering over you. He didn’t look like the kind of guy who got rejected a lot, which was enough to let you know it was going to be an ordeal to get rid of him. If only you could catch sight of your friends.
”Well, I don’t see him here. What he don’t know won’t hurt him”, he countered, and with great discomfort pushing on your chest, you tried to sneak away from him. He stopped you, though, a tight hold wrapping around your wrist, and panic started to make way within your veins.
You refused to let him toy with you any longer, and so, you snatched your hand away from him and forcefully pushed through the crowd. Relief flooded you when you got away from him, but it was a short-lived victory, as a bout of dizziness smacked you in the head, and you staggered. Trying your best not to lose your balance, you held your head in one hand and your drink in the other, but it was no easy task, especially when your vision began to blur.
Changing direction, you headed for the bathroom, but as you glanced over your shoulder, you spotted the stranger following you. You hoped it was just your impaired sight playing games with you, but when you stumbled and your drink flew from your hands, you realized he must have slipped something in it. Fear rose in your throat and you picked up the pace, clumsily making your way to the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind you, making sure to lock it.
As soon as you felt like you were safe, he started banging on the door and cursing at you. ”Open up, you bitch!” he shouted through the wood, and with your eyes brimming with tears, you shakily dug your phone from your purse. You were scared the door was going to give in, even more scared that you’d pass out from whatever he had drugged you with, but with all the strength you could muster, you did the one thing you knew was a good idea — call Frank.
Your hands trembled as you held your phone up to your ear and waited to hear Frank’s voice, your eyes squeezed shut while you drew in shallow breaths. You leaned against the door, your heart running a million miles as you waited and waited until, finally, he picked up.
”Sweetheart? You there?” Frank’s voice crackled through, and stifling a terrified sob, you ran your fingers through your hair.
”I’m sorry—I know you’re out doing your thing but I’m so scared, I—I lost my friends and some guy started bothering me and I think he put something in my drink—”, you began explaining with your wavering voice, only for a bang on the bathroom door to cut you off, your sharp inhale filling the space where your words hung. Momentarily, you tried to pull yourself together but there was no denying the crack in your voice when you continued. ”I hid in the bathroom. Please hurry”, you whimpered, the fear in your voice evident.
”I’m on my way, baby. Stay on the line, yeah? Can you do that f’me?” he spoke, hoping his steady voice would give you something to hang onto, something to ground you. When you responded, he made an approving noise. ”That’s my girl. I’m leavin’ right now, okay? I’ll be there soon”, he promised, and finding immense hope in his words, you swallowed and wiped your tears away. Your head was spinning and you could feel yourself slipping in and out of awareness, time passing even without you fully acknowledging it.
”You whore!” the stranger yelled through the door, loud enough for Frank to hear through the call, only making him more furious. He was keeping his rage at bay for your sake, knowing that his uncontrolled temper wouldn’t do much to comfort you, but he was seething. The asshole who had done this to you was surely going to pay the price, and Frank was going to enjoy every second of it.
”It’s gonna be alright, sweet girl. Don’t worry, ’m almost there”, Frank swore, growing more concerned when you didn’t respond. You were starting to find it impossible to stand, and so, you wound up sitting on the closed toilet lid, your face buried in one of your hands while the other one tried to balance the phone against your ear.
Soon enough, Frank spotted the neon sign of the club and he swerved to the side of the street, hastily parking before jumping out of the truck. With his blood boiling at the mental image of what he’d find inside, he hung up the phone and stomped into the club with his heavy boots, the sleeves of his shirt already rolled up as he looked for the bathroom.
The banging and shouting alerted him in the right direction, and with his fists aching to punch and hurt and break, he strode straight to the man bothering you from the other side of the door. Clenching his jaw, he yanked the guy away from the door by his shoulder, a cold stare in his dark eyes.
”Get the fuck out”, he spoke calmly, the kind of calm that was far more threatening than any shout ever could have been. His voice was dripping with sheer anger, and yet, the man faced him with an unimpressed look.
”Or what?” he chuckled, and without hesitating to show him exactly what he had signed himself up for, Frank grabbed him by the neck and threw him into the wall hard enough for his nose to crack. The man collapsed on the ground with a cry, gaining some attention from the people around but not enough for anyone to actually care.
”Get out”, Frank repeated with just an inch more effort, and this time, it worked. The man scrambled up to both feet and rushed through the crowd, running away to make sure he wouldn’t end up on the Punisher’s kill list — of course, he had already made it there. As if anyone would get away with hurting Frank’s girl.
When he was left alone, Frank took in a deep breath and leaned against the door. ”Hey. Ya in there, sweetheart?” he questioned quietly, all scariness gone from his soft voice as he glanced at his boots and waited for your answer.
You couldn’t describe the relief you felt when you heard him. For a moment, you couldn’t tell if it was real, your head making it hard to focus on anything, but Frank kept talking, confirming for you that he was right there.
”It’s safe out here. Wanna come out or can I come in?” he continued, patiently waiting for you.
Carefully, you got up from the toilet seat and wobbled to the door, unlocking it and letting Frank in. He peeked in only to find you hugging yourself with puffy eyes and red cheeks, and with a sigh, he stepped inside fully. He was delicate as he reached over to you, brushing a thumb across your face.
”All right? He touch you?” he queried gruffly, fearing your answer, but when you shook your head, he welcomed relief. His deep eyes met yours as he lowered his head to be on your level, and he radiated safety and comfort and warmth, and it was enough for you to break.
You stepped closer and clung onto him in a desperate hug, shaking in his arms. ”Thank you for coming”, you whispered, and with his arms folding around your body tightly, he nodded.
”Of course. You call, I’m there. Always”, he stated simply before kissing the top of your head. You stayed like that for a moment, but finally, he pulled away and took your hand. ”C’mere, let’s go home”, he suggested, undeniably worried by your state. It was obvious you had ingested something you shouldn’t have, and even though you were safe with him now, he couldn’t help but consider the worst case scenario. He cared for you so much, it was like the thought of anything happening to you caused him physical pain. He didn’t always have the words to tell you how much he loved you, but he was sure as hell going to show you.
He took you home where he made you drink water and helped you undress before tucking you into bed. He knew you needed the rest, and it didn’t take you long to drift off to sleep, giving him time to plot how he was going to find the man who had hurt you and, in return, hurt him. He didn’t play around when it came to your safety and well-being, and that was a lesson he was going to teach the asshole who had drugged you.
For tonight, his plans were just that — plans. He wasn’t going to leave your side, and he wanted you to know as much, and so, he climbed into bed with you. He couldn’t
sleep, though, far too preoccupied worrying about you and watching over you.
As he tenderly stroked your cheek, you stirred awake, and he opened his mouth to apologize but the words got stuck in his throat while he gazed down at your flawless face. You were so beautiful and he felt so lucky to have you, even if that meant fighting off everyone else.
”Feelin’ better?” he asked quietly, his rough voice so gentle with you, and breaking into a smile, you nodded.
”Thank you, Frankie. I love you so much”, you whispered softly, causing the smallest of smiles to bloom on his face. He leaned down to kiss you, his large hand holding your chin as his lips met yours, and it took your breath away. He always knew how to send your heart flying, and it made your smile widen as you wrapped an arm around his neck. ”My hero”, you added quietly when the kiss broke, earning a snort from Frank.
”I’m no hero. But I’ll always come for you, pretty girl. I love you, yeah? There ain’t a thing in the world I wouldn’t do for you”, he vowed, and as he kissed you again, you knew he meant every word.
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klxudykai · 8 months ago
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the ugly part of reality shifting
as great as shifting is, its really fucking draining. like REALLY draining. its nice that people want to show the fun and positive side of shifting and all, but once new shifters (specifically) hit the stage where they're drained and extremely demotivated, they aren't going to know how to deal with these new overwhelming emotions. reality shifting takes a toll on our mental health even if we don't like to admit it. this may not apply to everything, but I know it applies to the majority.
ive been shifting since 2021 (if you saw my post Abt me starting shifting in 2019 that was wrong lmfao mb yall-). and I still haven't shifted. I used to think I'd shift within 4 years but surprise surprise. I haven't. I'm drained and demotivated. I don't completely believe I wont ever shift, but I don't think I can get what I want by manifesting or affirming or doing any of that. I think the universe will just randomly hand it to me. it sounds dumb but that's the weird luck I have. when I don't expect it, I get what I want. but when I try hard and I expect it, nothing happens or I get smth worse. i don't think that even when I put blood,sweat, and tears into this that I'll shift. I've discovered so much shit about myself yet I am still here with no experience of what its like in another reality let alone my dr. never saw my dr once. only in my dreams and my imagination.
im going to be completely honest when I say that shifting is not for the weak. I'm not saying this to get you to quit because shifting is one of the best things that I found. I just want you to know that its not always going to be perfect. you might feel desperate, you might feel homesick, you might feel exhausted mentally. and sometimes you'll make progress but then find another obstacle. quite frankly, fuck the obstacles because that's not the issue. its how you deal with them that really determine how your growth goes. and no I'm not saying it controls if you'll shift or not because it doesn't. but if you're a person that gives up easily, its going to be hard to overcome those blockages. I say that because I myself give up easily. which is ironic because I don't give up when it comes to certain goals I want to accomplish (one of those goals being shifting), but I refuse to get rid of those so called "blockages" and avoid them even though I know what's the problem. I avoid them because I don't know how to fix them and I just have this fear that's telling me I'll fail.
this post probably doesn't make a lot of sense but that's because I'm writing this in the heat of the moment so I'm not doing a lot of thinking, I'm just typing. what I'm saying is don't be that person that avoids the problems. be transparent with yourself because I'm telling you, the more you avoid it, the more drained youre going to become. it might turn into an endless loop where you think about your Dr daily but you have zero energy to shift. and it fucking sucks.
overall, please take breaks whether they're mental or shifting breaks, if you feel like there is an issue with yourself, fix it. this is a hard journey but it will be a lot easier once you're honest and overcome problems that need to be solved.
(disclaimer that this may not apply to everyone, just the people who are going through a rough patch in their journey. this is mainly just my perspective and what I've heard from a friend of mine since our issues seemed pretty similar. and if anyone needs someone to talk to, my DMS are open. I want my blog to be a safe space and that this is a place where not everything is perfect. I love y'all and please take care and don't stress yourselves <33)
also, fuck that toxic positivity shit that just makes mfs more drained. if you feel demotivated address it don't push it away
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aft3rhrs · 1 month ago
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Hey guys! 🩷 Thank you so much for your asks and messages 🩷
Honestly I just wanna get something off my chest. Someone asked me if I'm leaving or using a new blog. Both? I made a new blog, but somehow the thought of coming back here still feels so uncomfortable. And I realised it's because I addressed and worked through the 'hate' part and all.
But... there is also an issue I have had with my own readers that I didn't expect to have.
Look, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having your kinks and all. My blog itself is pretty crazy.
But... it's fictional.
It seems not only 'haters' can't separate reality from fiction, but sometimes readers too.
There is a reason I have never called my blog a "kink blog" (again, nothing wrong with that!), but rather stuck to horror.
I have talked about this before but as my interest in darker shows and works grew, I wanted to write a horror story and I realised I had no idea how to, because I have spent all my life writing pg 13 romance and fantasy 😭
I wanted to get out of my comfort zone and challenge myself. So I jumped into deep waters with requests, hoping for inspiration, and for the first time tried writing horror AND smut.
I love storytelling, I love exploring new things in writing, so even though the smut part is so big on my blog, I always give my characters personalities and back stories (at least I try lmao) and dive into their mental state because... I love writing.
And I did always want my blog to be a safe space for everyone... but that's including myself.
And I feel like some people just.... I'm sorry I'm just gonna say it.
What do you mean you want a fic based on the The Burning Sun Scandal. WHAT DO YOU MEAN. 😭 What do you mean you want me to write about your cousin. 😭😭
Am I crazy??? That's a REAL tragedy, guys, and it's so fucking upsetting and disrespectful to the survivors. And no one even stops to think the author might be upset or triggered bc they're a survivor too or bc this is, again, A REAL TRAGEDY????
It's like watching murder on a screen. It doesn't affect you the same way a real life murder with a real victim would! But it might still be too upsetting or violent so warnings exist for that.
"Um you write non con that happens in real life too" absolutely. But I am not getting inspo from REAL CASES involving REAL PEOPLE and real trauma. The people, places, events, are MADE UP, and if any feelings or situations are inspired by experiences, they're MY OWN experiences, and even then my work is far from reality.
I am not glorifying Dahmer and writing smut about him ok?
😭😭😭
And the thing is we talked about this before and I thought I made that super clear on my blog, always.
If it wasn't before, then I guess this is the post I'm gonna have to pin somewhere.
I just... I expected this from the tea blog clowns, who are shocked a writer writes fictional non con but advocates for real victims 😭 Like you write about war and suddenly you're a real life dictator. 😭
It's OK to make mistakes and learn. I'm just so so so tired of dealing with people who don't care to learn and it almost makes me feel bad for writing here. I know I can't be responsible for my readers and I can't control who follows me. But just.
If it wasn't clear before. Even though I have this in my intro post.
I'm sorry if you were looking for something else, there are other blogs for that. I'm just a writer writing fictional stories.
The only Burning Sun Scandal fic I would ever write would be with all the men getting, literally, burned to death. 💀
Anyway. Sorry, I had to get that out, I feel like I have had so much to deal with on this blog and I'm just working through it.
Take care of yourselves 🩷 hope you're all staying warm and eating well.
I will be back around to check in soon, maybe edit a fic? Who knows, maybe getting this out will make me feel better. Love you sm 🩷🫂
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ellicdote · 1 month ago
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This is my first ever tumblr blog post. I was planning on just lurking forever.
But I am remarkably autistic about this and need to vomit it SOMEWHERE. So you're getting it.
Now, I originally was planning on banishing Caleb to the shadow realm because I thought that him being basically our brother and then becoming a love interest was WEIRD.
But then he came out, and I read his stories, and now he's one of my favorites.
Caleb is toxic in a way that is so interesting that it makes me want to put him in a jar and study him. What makes me most engaged is that he isn't beyond reason or redemption; he has the potential to correct these unhealthy behaviors given enough time and space.
His obsession with MC is prevalent and deeply concerning; he doesn't trust her to protect herself, he is willing to brutally kill anyone who hurts her, he wants to 'exist in a world where it's just the two of us'... but it comes from a place of such genuine fear and care that it makes one hesitate to call him a bad person. He is not wrong in constantly being worried for MC's safety, she is quite literally being targeted by people who want to experiment on her, but he goes about it in a way that denies her autonomy. Caleb is ruled by his fear and obsessive devotion to her to the point that he is willing to do whatever it takes to keep her safe.
He was willing to stay as far away as possible after the explosion and subsequent his involvement with Ever, because he knew that she would be safest at a distance. But once she found her way in? The only way to ensure her safety is to keep her glued to his side.
Caleb and MC are codependent. They feel like they would lose themselves should they lose the other. Now, I admit that Caleb is definitely the more dependent one and has been for a long time. Caleb has an aggressive need to be needed, specifically by MC. He needs her, so he wants her to need him. I'd argue that's something that comes from the fear; he wants that reassurance that she'll never leave him behind. But since the reunion, MC has definitely been tightening her grip on him in return. She lost him once, she can't lose him again.
However, when it comes to Caleb's controlling tendencies, MC does not up with his bullshit; she will not forced to passively wait until it's safe. No, she will FIGHT. Caleb argues with her on this, but he can and has been swayed to back off.
However, he does relapse. I mean, it's hard not to do when your worst fears are being validated day in and day out. He has a fundamental belief that he must be MC's protector, that she needs his help in order to stay safe. He wants to trust in her, but that nagging voice in the back of his head keeps going 'You have to intervene. You have to keep her out of this. It's the only way you're going to know that she's safe,'. MC is a damsel in distress, and he is the only one who can save her.
The chip that's implanted in him only enhances his toxic traits. During his bond story, he acknowledges his selfishness when MC calls him out, and even states that he's trying to let go of his obsessive tendencies. He wants to have a healthier way to go about things. The chip made him go back on his progress, but he's still able to see reason.
Caleb and MC are going to be in each other's lives no matter what, either as friends or lovers, and their dynamic is on very shaky ground. But there's hope.
It's that hope for a healthier relationship that makes them so utterly devastating to me. Watching their ups and downs happen is an emotional rollercoaster. The conflict also gives the relationship somewhere to go, story wise, that's engaging.
tl;dr, Caleb has toxic behaviors and has done harmful things to MC, but he's not beyond redemption.
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fkbcorrector · 1 year ago
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Hey all,
I'm officially leaving this blog, and tumblr as a whole, the constant growth of cis people inside this kink has completely ruined what this community was for me, it's impossible to come here and not see a post by a clearly bigoted cis person, no matter how much they claim it's just fantasy, they proceed to show their ignorance in many different ways. As a dom, I no longer find this place safe or attractive at all, staying away from bioessencialism is impossible since 70-80% of the posts are about biological aspects and it has severely deteriorated my mental health whenever I log on, hence why I haven't posted in a long time, and I won't be coming back.
No matter how much I created educational posts and fought for this to be a kinky space for all the traumatized trans people that deserve a safe space to express their most hidden disires, our oppressors have always find a way to claim it as their space, and since I am one of the few that fights against it, I'm constantly outnumber by these oppressors.
I'm glad I could help some of you, I think that's the only reason I actually tried to stay here longer, but I'm sorry, I can't keep myself in a space that gives genuely transphobic cis people a space to express their most hidden truths while pretending it's a fantasy, when deep down their wording and actions make it extremely clear it's not. And I know how happy they'll be seeing this post, they will feel as if they won, I won't be here anymore to fight them, and honestly even if they feel it's a win for them and it is true that it's a loss for the community, it's actually a win for me, as I'll be prioratizing my mental health. And a big f/y to all of them who are secretly happy to see me go.
The only thing I am unsure of is if I should delete the blog in its entirety, or leave it up in case any of you would like to keep the posts, including the educational resources I have made, if any of you could answer this, or dm me, or anything at all to make your opinion be heard, I'd appreciate it.
If there's no need for this blog to be up, or if I'm lacking feedback, I'll just delete it, I rather be long gone from this space, and I'd like to make it extremely clear it is not because of the hundreds of people I've made a connection with and helped, I appreciate you fighting for this community and for yourself, it's because once again cis people have taken yet another space that is ours to claim.
Thank you all and take care.
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myfandomrealitea · 7 months ago
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Your post regarding specifc places for things and some places dont need a vent channel it helped me realise that the people i follow online were damaging to my health. They were constantly sharing real people who died horrifically and saying things like "if you dont share you're supporting violence " while i only joined social media to view art.
I actively speak about real life events offline with my family, we always talk about whats happening in the world once a week and mention anything new within the local and worldwide news. I didn't understand why social media was worsening my mental health around these topics since i could speak about it in real life with my family. i assumed i was horrible for simply not wanting to see it online, When your post about a safe space came up i realised why it made me feel so bad, the artists i followed no longer were posting art and were just constantly sharing news daily about horrific events. It became inescapable and i was unknownly doomscrolling for hours on social media while hoping to see art (that just made me feel bad viewing after seeing so much death) , my only escape was going offline. I already made new accounts just for art and Im so thankful for your post since i did avoid everything that was about real world events since the account is only for art and i feel so much more.. i guess happier.. but definitely more mentally healthy if that makes sense? It felt like my mind was drained or foggy when scrolling through social media, and i wasnt actually paying attention before but now its a lot more, clear, healthy and positive. Im able to think properly and actually pay attention and appreciate the good things online
I'm so glad I was able to help you on your journey to bettering your wellbeing. Its an aspect of why I run this blog and talk about the things that I do.
So very often people don't actually register or realize what parts of their lives are causing stress. They attribute it to 'working too much' or 'not sleeping enough' without realizing that there are direct causes for things like not sleeping enough. And I'm not saying every single part of life comes back to activism, but very often we don't even realize how much negativity and forced awareness we're exposing ourselves to.
I used to religiously follow accounts on Instagram which posted about animal abuse. Other than a handful of celebrities my Instagram feed would be the most graphic videos you could imagine of people hacking into live dogs with axes, boiling cats alive in huge vats of water, jockeys tearing at horse's mouths until their teeth were loose and they were leaving a trail of blood as they walked the winner's circle.
I used to think if I wasn't constantly forcing myself to acknowledge that these things were happening, if I wasn't constantly reminding myself the extent at which these things happen, I was a bad person. I wasn't a real animal lover. If I truly loved animals why wasn't I sharing these videos? Why wasn't I sitting there with thousands of other people acknowledging what animals go through while I sit comfy at home doing nothing?
It got the point where I'd be throwing up constantly, I refused to sleep because I was terrified of the nightmares and my hands would shake as I opened up the Instagram app because I dreaded what I'd see today.
It wasn't helping me. It wasn't helping the animals. I'm just as aware now of what animals go through without having to see any of it.
But now, I have the wellbeing to actually devote myself to meaningful activism. Not just tormenting myself to no outcome. Now, I have the willpower and the energy to sign petitions and do research and take steps in my own life to better the welfare of the animals in my care.
Now I can sleep at night and wake up well-rested with the energy and the motivation to do things both for myself and for other people. Now, I can scroll Instagram and leave polite, correctional comments on misguided videos about animals. Now I have the knowledge to devote my attention and my efforts to where it actually makes a difference and changes animal's lives.
It is such, such a hard thing to drag yourself out of. We're so conditioned into thinking suffering shared is suffering lessened. We're so conditioned into believing that by spamming words anywhere we can we are the direct cause of change.
Its a hell of a learning climb. A steep one. But I genuinely believe the world would be better off for learning and changing as we both had the courage to.
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dadzawa-abc · 8 months ago
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. . caregiver incoming. . . 📨
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☁️ Hello, my name is Aizawa. But you can call me Shota if you wish to do so.
💤 my pronouns are he/him, and he/him only
🌾 male + Bisexual + r/s will not be public 🔒
🌙 osdd fictive. This is NOT a roleplay account. Dehumanizing me will get you an immediate block and ignored.
☀️ I am an adult, but the body is a minor.
🌕 A disabled Caregiver (source + bodily). I do not age regress. I am a babysitter and a caregiver to most, if not all of our littles.
🪐 I am not a permanent caregiver to anyone outside of the system currently.
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🌕 | i am a SAFE-FOR-WORK caregiver. I have never, or will ever, use my caregiver role for inappropriate intentions. I'm a caregiver because: 1), it reminds me of my students in my source. It makes me happy. 2), it makes me happy to take care of children and littles. 3), I immediately take a fatherly role to any little who comes up to me, and my intentions do not push farther into boundaries. That being said, if you come into my blog with the intention that I am a nsfw caregiver ; either by liking, reblogging, commenting, going into my inbox or messaging me, your comment will one, be ignored, two, blocked. And depending the content of the situation you will be reported. I am SFW. And it will never change. So if you're anything but a SFW little, you aren't welcome here.
🌕 | i do not Kink-shame. However, I am allowed to express my feelings on things when it comes to ageplay. If a group of people who are adults, ignore the fact that the body is a minor and continues to interact with my blog with nsfw intentions, yes I'm allowed to express my feelings about it. And if it comes to the point of making sure littles are safe from their accounts, I will not be silenced.
🌕 | I am open to babysit littles. (Doesn't matter age, gender, etc). Before messaging me please ask me in my inbox first to see if I'm available to babysit. (Or) check my account bio. Usually I update if I'm able to babysit or not. So before you message please make sure beforehand.
🌕 | I accept all petnames. You can use any petnames on me that you seem fit. The most I get called is "Dadzawa", "dad/daddy", or "papa"
🌕 | This is a Safe space for: age regressors (who are minors and adults) regressors who are older than 35+, pet regressors who are older than 35+, Screen readers, venting (you can vent in our inbox or DMS. Please be specific if you'd like your vent to be public on the blog if you vent via inbox. If you don't want your vent public, I won't public the vent but I will read it.), TRAUMAGENIC systems, sourcemates, alters who's source is considered "problematic", furries, therians, trans people, LGBTQ++
🌕 | this ISN'T a safe place for: Endo "systems", varieties of nong-traumatic "systems", proship, ageplay, nsfw littles who are "sfw", meanies, trolls, fakeclaimers, bigotry, terfs
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agere advice,
agere positivity posts,
Vent responses,
Reposts,
Etc
🍉 I stand with Palestine 🍉
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crippled-peeper · 10 months ago
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I really used to love your blog, but you are being incredibly hostile to people who want to learn and you are assuming people mean to be malicious. As a disabled person, I totally get it. In a sense, pretty much anything that isn't a specifically disabled space (and even sometimes those as well) ARE hostile to disabled people and create tons of barriers that make it difficult just to survive and exist. I understand your frustration, I understand that it is something you desperately need to express. But at some point, it becomes better for you to let the opinions of others go or to try and shift your mindset that not everyone is out to attack you. By all means, block whoever you want to block, express yourself however you want to express yourself. But as a fellow disabled person, I no longer can relate to or find comfort in your posts. Most of which as of lately are FILLED with hostility and are incredibly defensive (which again, I TOTALLY understand.) I only send this ask to wish the best for you. I hope that you can find some place that feels safe, some place and people who accommodate and take care of you. I hope that you can believe in a future where people truly want to help and learn. And I hope that the hate in your heart does not continue to grow. Hating the world does not keep you safe from it. You do not need to bring hostility to the world, the way it seems to do for you. I wish for you to feel safe enough to have an open heart and find happiness as a disabled person.
Hey. I just want you to know that I don’t care like not even slightly. Please unfollow me, in fact block me. I have no patience for this manipulative bullshit.
I’m going to die some day (probably sooner rather than later) and I don’t exist to suck your toes and jack you off while you constantly question my humanity and my right to have the most basic human comforts
Maybe you should work on why you see other disabled human beings (who have feelings, btw!) as living Wikipedia pages who should calmly and joyously educate you while you say stupid shit to them, repeatedly, and without a single care about how it makes them feel.
I know you thought it would be, but my self worth is not located in the approval of random people who don’t even have the balls to come off anon and talk to me.
Farewell, bucko.
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benevolentindigo · 4 months ago
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//BLOG IS CURRENTLY INACTIVE (Sorry gang :[ )
"Hello, visitors. It's... Nice to be able to commune here..."
"I hope that all of you are nicer this time around..."
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//Pfp by @whilvlc :D
Minor winter event:
Will be snowing in the forest until end of March ❄
(Read below for more info :3)
Fear Parody account run by @brokerplushsg / @9blueflame9 :D
Hai gang, Blueflame here, but y'all can call me Blue for short. I'm currently 17 so ya, I am a minor (so shoo, weird adult accounts) Uhhhh this is my first time roleplaying on tumblr so don't mind me if I make mistakes 😭 djdhdjdhdkdhdhjdhdhd (But def not my first time rping in general)
Shoutout to @fearfulpurple for inspiration to start this account lol (Go check their parody too :D)
Also if y'all curious no I don't have a schedule for posting, I just do whenever I wanna. And if I am taking particular long to answer a certain question, its probably because im drawing it lol-
If u wish to contact me, Dms are always open so feel free to pop by. :D Also I have discord and I'm most active there so if u want it, just dm me. :3
My favourite post I've made so far:
"To deny my existence, is to accept death."
- Fear
Also ig imma put some mostly obvious boundaries here too because like I wanna keep this as a safe space-
No NSFW (Self explanitory)
No political stuff/troubling real world stuff (Here is not the right place for such things)
Don't be too mean/rude (like a little is fine for the sake of rp but like don't take it too far)
Don't be weird in the bad way (Dont be too freaky with fear or just do stuff that makes people uncomfortable in general)
Roleplay info
◤━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◥
Anything associated with Roleplay is in chat font.
Anything associated with Fear is Purple.
Anything associated with a Phobia is Pink.
Anything associated with players/NPCs/people in general is rainbow.
Anything associated with narration is white.
Other characters not specified here may have their own unique colored text.
"Spoken dialogue is in quotations."
*Actions start and ends with asterisks and are in italics*
//OOC have double slashes before the message.
//OORP have double slashes before the message, and is in normal font.
◣━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◢
Headcanons
General info:
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Their MBTI personality type is ISFP-T, also known as the Turbulent Adventurer. (Ngl I'm surprised when I got these results when I did the test in character but eh it surprising fits)
Their Toastology is Galic Butter Toast. (I did it for the funnies)
They are surprisingly proficient with the guzheng if given one.
They have mixed feelings for Kikuo's songs. A few they find comfort in (Like Song of the Night and Astral Travel), many they find disturbing (Like Dust Dust Curse and Love me, Love me, Love me), and some they have conflicting feelings about. (Like Let's go to Heaven and Welcome to the Star Inn.)
Since they are a manifestation of an abstract concept, it does not associate with any gender nor does it have any preference in pronouns because frankly, they do not care.
Despite not associating with any gender, they are slightly leaning more towards being feminine presenting, but it can depend on who they are interacting with.
Nobody can agree on what their voice truely sounds like, as everyone hears it a little differently, but generally, they are soft spoken, only loud when scared or pissed off.
Technically, they could speak in any language, but they prefer English and Japanese.
Despite being the embodiment of fear, they have certain things that they are personally more afraid of, like bees, thunder and most of all, death. (And Hatred too)
When feeling threatened or just angry in general, they would growl, it sounding very similar to the rustling of leaves.
When they scream, it sounds similar to that of a Banshee. Very loud and ear piercing.
When startled, they would raise their arms and open up their claws, somewhat similar to how red pandas react when startled.
Normally they do not really swear, but if you somehow made them VERY pissed off, they would begin swearing like a sailor.
Despite Fear being ageless due to being an abstract concept, it still can be considered the "oldest" of the vices as they were developed as a survival adaptation in the very, very, distant past, about 500 million years ago. This also explains their more, primordial and tree like appearance, representing security and uncertainty at the same time.
Their anon account is @anonymous-hyacinth :D (for the sake of rp pls act like ya don't know who they are until revealed)
Abilities/Biology:
They are similar to Shimenawa, Leshy, dryads (more specifically a hamadryad), and Banshees.
They are connected to the Fear Forest as it's their domain, and they are one with all the trees. Thus they have the powers and abilities to manipulate and change the forest at will.
They are connected to each tree in the Fear Forest through the root system, kinda like IRL trees.
They are able to feel and sense through the trees due to their connections. Therefore if one tree were to get damaged, or even chopped down, Fear would feel the pain too.
Fear and the trees of the Fear Forest function a little more like purple sulfur bacterias living in deep caves rather than actual plants, having roots that sink deep into the depths of the dreamscape to gather minerals like memories and thoughts to keep growing.
They "eat" food (burgers, colas, apples, etc) with their roots, bringing it into the ground and breaking it up into smaller, more soluble pieces with their roots, or just straight up absorb it if it's already like a drink.
They have the ability to extend and retract their roots, as well as partially extend it above ground. (As shown in their Shockwave attack.)
Fear barely moves from their position, but if they really need too, they would need to retract their roots fully, before dragging their body along the ground with their arms, moving in a similar way to stick insects. They can be surprisingly fast if need be, but that doesn't change the fact it's very uncomfortable for them to be dragging around their body like that.
Their "torso" and "leg" are slightly flexible, but not to the point where they could "sit". At that point it's the equivalent of breaking their spine.
It's "Tree form" is their true form, they just shapeshift into their more humanoid one when interacting with others or engaging in combat.
In their "Tree form", they are able to have a better connection with the forest, making it easier to manipulate and change the environment of their domain.
Normally, they sleep in their "Tree form", unless suddenly knocked unconscious like using the Comatose ball.
Fear has a velvety texture around their main body, with their limbs feeling more bark like. The tuffs of "leaves" sticking out from the side of their body feel especially soft.
When put under extreme stress, the "fuzz" on their body would fall off. It does not make them look that visually different, except the tuffs on the side of their body are bare twigs, but now all of their body would have the bark like texture.
Depending on who they are talking too, they can mimic the voice of others that said person knows about. Most of the time, they use this ability to remind or comfort. However when needed, they can use it to threaten.
Having connections with animals due to being an essential survival instinct, they are able to communicate with them with ease.
Despite usually being soft, their voice can be quite powerful, as when they Screech like using Total Dismay, they can temporarily paralyse those they target.
Phobias are born from the sap of the trees in the Fear forest, and it's technically their blood too.
When stressed, the roots of the trees can excrete their sap, and thus Fear can use it to summon Phobias.
When Phobias use Rebirth, what is left of them is usually quite sticky, and what falls onto the ground usually gets absorbed back into the trees, ready to spring out again if needed to defend Fear.
Aside from Rebirth, Phobias can also bite and latch on as attacks unlike ingame.
Phobias generally act like slimes behaviour wise. Very curious. Have quite an appetite too.
Aside from general behaviour and appearance, there might be slight deviations between each phobia depending on what they represent. (Like Ophidiophobia acting and appearing slightly more snake like in apperance and behaviour.)
Fear of course knows all of their phobias and knows how to take care of each one.
Being naturally intuitive and observant of the world, they have a special insight and connection to every other embodiment. Thats how they know of the true nature of Hatred and how Greed and Solitude had been defeated before them.
Being an abstract concept, they, along with all the other residents in Dreamworld cannot be truly "killed", even when they are, they would some way eventually be rebirthed. Still doesn't change the fact that it's still a very unpleasant experience, especially for Fear, and they themselves really hate being "killed off" for many, various reasons.
If for some reason, Fear dies, the sturdiest tree in the Fear forest, would slowly become the new "Fear", kind of like how the alpha male clownfish chages and takes the place of a dominant female when the female dies off. (It's still the same Fear, just slightly different body)
When needing to revive, if there are no available trees in the Fear forest, like all are burned to the ground or chopped into stumps, new saplings would grow out from the stumps/soil from underground roots and grow into new trees, and depending on the damage, recovery might take weeks, months or maybe even a year.
To truly get rid of fear, not only must all the trees in the fear forest needs to be cut down, but all of their roots must be rid as well, which is definitely very tedious due to the amount of it as well as them branching far and deep into the crevices of the mind, it's etched into our behaviour after all. Even if a single centimeter of root remained, it can and will eventually grow back the entire forest.
Relationships:
They are generally netural towards most entities in Dream World.
They find Greed annoying sometimes.
They are friends with Solitude, even somewhat considering them like a sibling.
They are genuinely afraid of Hatred, and would avoid it as much as they could.
They hate Hatred as much as they fear it, so despite their fear, if they see others getting hurt by it, they would throw hands at it. (Probably also #1 Hatred hater)
Fear, Greed and Solitude barely see face to face, as there is not really much reason to meet up. And even if they do, they would meet up at Fear's domain due to their mobility issues.
Out of the trio, Fear knows every other member the most, as well as being the member of the trio that knows about Hatred the most aside from that one missing member.
They genuinely look out for players, despite being afraid of them sometimes.
They treat Phobias as their pets and adores them greatly if they so happen to summon one.
Design guide
Stylisation:
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This is how I do the effect for the pics lol, just posting this here for reference for myself or if u want, u can take inspiration or use it with credit :D (Done in Ibis paint btw)
I might change it in the future tho-
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