#this is just something ive been seeing all over the place so
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
đ«đȘđ đœđźđȘđŹđ±đźđ» đŻđžđ» đȘ đ«đȘđ đŒđœđŸđđźđ·đœ
pair â rich student!reader x lecturer!ratio
wc â ~600
contains â dom reader, sub character, cock can be seen as a strap, written with mtf reader in mind, porn with little plot, college au, blowjobs (reader receiving), teacher x student (both adults), blackmailing, dubcon, power imbalance, picture taking
i cant get him out of my head all week .. oh my god . i need a hot lecturer to suck me off bad .. euhg ... gomen ... ive been staring at pics of him .. and now i cant sleep because of him . ratiosama , youre so pretty .. please let me hit . pleas eplease please please plea
also ..! my short requests are back open as of posting this ..!!! :D feel free to hmu on my inbox >_<
you flip through the pages lazily, looking bored out of your mind. the book you were reading.. agh, how boring. you couldnât understand why ratio found it so interesting. and ah â seems like you found the page he left himself off on.
âso,â you used your leg to push against your professorâs head, making him choke a little before adjusting. as soon as your leg relaxed ratio finally slipped your cock out of his mouth, coughing â you made sure he didnât move an inch. âwhatâs so interesting about this book, anyway?â
he stayed quiet at the question. not a talker, huh?
well, you understood his reasons. heâs been failing you for so-called incompetence. purposely screwing you over just because he didnât like you.. well â at least you managed to get him into his position. choking on your cock in your dorm of all places. maybe not having roommates was a good idea.
all because you had some suggestive pictures of him you got.. with your own ways. not like it mattered how. âsooo, ratio..â placing the book down beside you on the couch, you lean down and grab onto his face, forcing those reddish-pink eyes into a death glare. âyou gonna improve my grades or what?â
he just looked at you with that same, pissed off face. the one youâd see whenever you passed him by the hallways. yeah, he really wasnât a talker. hah.
you sighed, waving your phone at him â showing off those pictures again. you swore you saw his eye twitch. âyou want me to spread this, or, like ââ
you turned your phone around, adjusting it onto his face â making sure the position was clear as day. dr. veritas ratio, between someoneâs, no, his studentâs legs to take cock like a good boy. it was almost amusing.
âwhat are yââ he almost wanted to lash out. but he knew better â not only was his entire career in your hands with just a few pictures, but you had daddyâs influence. you could most definitely ruin his life even more. only blackmailing him was probably a relief with what you could be doing to him. âyou gonna comply or not?â
he nods â rather reluctantly. it felt horrible to obey. he wanted to do at least something to somehow defend himself, but itâs not like he can. âso be a good boy, will you, veritas?â prying open his mouth with one hand, the other was tangled onto his dark, purple hair, positioning it better so he could suck you off.
âyou pissed me off, you mâgonna make you do more, yeah?â
with those words, you forced him to bottom out on your cock. he choked and coughed â but god did his throat feel good. you could see those pretty eyes rolling back with his brows furrowed, both hands on your thighs to push himself off only for you to get rougher.
you guided his head, bobbing it up and down your dick. even if you could tell he was inexperienced with his mouth â damn it still felt nice. that soft tongue of his swirling around your cock, messily coating it with his saliva. after youâve gotten a good pace on him, he started doing it on his own accord. it felt kinda nice to be forcing him down your length, but this is fine.
finally â he was able to spit out your cock â coughing again. âaghckâ hnnng..âĄâ suddenly, he looked like he was the one trying to seduce you. looking up with those eyes, drool running down his chin with his tongue lolled out like a pathetic little doggy. you didnât know â nor care, if it was intentional or not â you could not just pass this opportunity and not snap a pic. was this a prestigious lecturer or a slut? you almost couldnât tell.
oh youâre sure youâll be seeing him like this more often.
hsr masterlist â„ïž
#Ⱡlibrary of ruins .#Ⱡrabbit hole .#➠astral express .#➠intelligentsia guild .#⊠dr . ratio .#hsr#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#sub hsr#sub honkai star rail#dr ratio#veritas ratio#veritas ratio x reader#ratio x reader#dr ratio x reader#dom reader#sub character#sub dr ratio#sub ratio#sub veritas ratio
139 notes
·
View notes
Note
Jeongyeon college party fic or anything jeongyeon, thereâs barely anything for her tbh đ
i blame this idea on gossip girl (and the dreams ive been having)
âyou look so prettyâ she coos, spreading your legs and placing kisses along your inner thigh.
you can't see her face, her hair is dark, her hands delicate.
her tongue meets your clit, licking and drawing eights on it as your hand grips her hair and pulls her closer.
she doesn't stop, her fingers trailing down your naked body as she shoves two fingers in, thrusting them in and out of you as she keeps using her tongue.
you're already getting close, toes curling into the mattress.
just a little more and you would cum, pretty hard even.
but you open your eyes, and suddenly everything is gone.
your underwear is soaked and you sigh as you throw your head back.
it was a fucking dream.
-
âit'll be so funâ chaeyoung says, dragging you to the house of some (seemingly) rich kid.
âyou just want to see your crushâ you answer.
âoh shut upâ
âyou knowâŠ.â she starts speaking, standing right in front of the door, the music inside so loud that you can hear outside.
âthe host is really cuteâ you try to reply to her but she knocks and someone opens the door.
she's pretty, older than you, she smiles at the two of you - and the way chaeyoung gives you a look it seems like that girl is the host.
âcome in guysâ she invites you both.
so you walk inside, and before you can react, chaeyoung hands you a drink and tells you to call her if something happens.
as fast as it happens, she leaves you alone on one of the multiple couches in the living room.
you decide to drink a little from it, relaxing into the cushion of the couch.
you watch the people around you, theyâre loud, partying, dancing, or making out.
your eyes travel trough the scene in front of you, landing on someone.
her.
her legs are spread, a drink in her right hand, her head leaned back, exhaling.
when she moves her head again - your eyes meet.
(youâre usually not good at holding eye contact, but something about this moment - it makes you only focus on her)
it's like everything went silent, you're only focused on her.
you feel your breath hitch, gripping the cup a little too hard.
you decide on being bold, finishing your drink as you put the red cup down, standing up and walking up the stairs.
she follows you, quickly. catching up to you and taking your hand, leading you to her room and shutting the door right after, kissing you with her hands on your waist.
âyoo jeongyeonâ she breathes out, moving down to kiss your neck as you throw your head back.
âwhat?â you ask, voice shaky as you grip her shoulder.
âmy name, im yoo jeongyeonâ she whispers against your ear, hot breath hitting your neck.
you smile a little at her introduction, ây/nâ you reply with your name, pulling her away as you walk to the bed, signalizing her to come to you.
she follows you, sitting on your lap as she kisses you again.
it's hot, messy and everything you need at this moment.
her hands move all over your body, squeezing your breast.
she moves her hands more south, unbuckling your pants and pulling them down.
your underwear is soaked, jeongyeon's fingers rubbing over it as you moan into her ear.
âdon't tease meâ you whimper, stuttering a little as she goes over the waistband of your underwear and shoves her fingers in.
you moan at the feeling, remembering your dream.
maybe she was the one you were dreaming about.
âpleaseâ your voice cracks, moving your hip so she can reach deeper, fucking you fast.
âyou're so prettyâ she coos, kissing your neck and leaving hickeys.
âkeep goingâ your moans are loud, your breath hitches, clenching around her as she keeps kissing you.
âgonna cum?â she teases, you nod quickly, gasping as she adds another finger.
âcum for me princessâ she says, her tone low, as if it would be a command.
you cum around her fingers, kissing her as you moan into her mouth and pull her close to you.
she kisses you back, watching you as you come down from your high.
you both smile at each other.
âmy turnâ you coo, kissing her neck.
#feeling silly#twice smut#twice x reader#jeongyeon fluff#jeongyeon smut#jeongyeon twice#jeongyeon x reader#girl group smut#twice imagines#wlw#momo smut#twice ff#chaeyoung x reader#spotify#jihyo smut#sana smut#sana x reader#mina smut#jihyo x reader
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
the missing melody âȘ
part 2 part 1
pairing : franco colapinto x singer!reader
faceclaim : various people!
summary: With the Grand Prix results in, Y/N returns home inspired, diving back into her music. Meanwhile, Franco, curious about the singer he met, follows her on social media. What begins as casual online exchanges soon hints at a deeper connection.
warnings : some singers do not exist in this au since i might take their songs!
note : MERRY CHRISTMAS!! here is your surprise, i know some have been waiting but ive been in a writing block. dont kill me bc its short! i suck at writing UGHHHHHH
    ââ ââ
ââ
â ââ
 williamsracing just postedÂ
liked by yourusername, username2, and 535,290 othersÂ
williamsracing TEAM đ 10 POINTS IN BAKU đ„đ„đ„
An incredible drive by both drivers and we secure P7 and P8. GET IN THERE! đ This is only the beginning.
view all commentsÂ
username2 VAMOS VAMOS VAMOS đŠđ·đŠđ·đŠđ·
username4 this progress of williams is whatâs giving me hopes for carlos next year đ„Č
username6 đŠđ·đŠđ·đŠđ·đŠđ·đŠđ·đŠđ·đŠđ·đŠđ·đŠđ·đŠđ·
username8 WOWWWW BRAVO đđŒđđŒ
username3 COLAPINTO2025Â
username5 STANDING OVATION!!! đ„đ„
username5 y/n was the good luck charm! iâm telling you! đ«”đŒ
username7 simply lovely
yourusername grateful to be here and watch the team score some points. itâs amazing to watch, might just have to join for another race soon. thanks again for letting me join in the paddock! đŠđ·đ„đ
âłwilliamsracing weâre glad to have you y/n, canât wait to see you trackside again! wishing you luck on your future endeavors! đ
âłalex_albon appreciate it! we hope to see you soon!
âłfrancolapinto glad you could be here! i would love for you to come to another race, letâs make it happen. đ
âłusername5 now i need her to go to another race this season
third pov
As the Grand Prix weekend drew to a close, Y/N felt a bittersweet mix of relief and melancholy. The weekend had been a whirlwind, filled with the excitement of the race and the unexpected attention she had garnered from her appearance. The crowded paddock and constant buzz of conversations had left her mentally drained, but as she walked toward the car that would take her back home, there was a certain peace settling over her.
The world outside the track seemed quieter, more serene. She could hear the faint hum of the engines in the distance as the final laps were being completed, but for her, it was time to leave the chaos behind. The press, the cameras, the questionsâall of it faded away as she slid into the front seat, the doors closing softly behind her, sealing her off from the world she had momentarily rejoined.
She pulled out of the paddock, and stared out the window, watching the lights of the city blur past as she made her way back home. The city was still alive, but she felt removed from it, as though she were floating in a different space. Her mind wandered back to the people she had met during the weekendâthe 2 william's drivers, the fans, the connections she made. She longed for the solitude of her room, a place where she could decompress and regain the clarity she so desperately sought.Â
As the car rounded a corner, she caught a glimpse of the track once more, her heart stirring with a mix of admiration and uncertainty. She wasnât sure what the future held, but for now, she was content to retreat into her own world and reflect on the moments that had left an imprint on her soul.
francoâs povÂ
I stood on the podium, the aftertaste of victory still fresh as my team erupted in celebration. My first points of the seasonâit wasnât much, but it felt like a significant step forward. The atmosphere was electric, and for a brief moment, it felt like everything was falling into place. But even with all the cheering and the congratulations, my thoughts kept drifting to somethingâor rather, someoneâthat had caught my attention this weekend. Y/N. I didnât know much about her, but I couldnât ignore the way she moved through the paddock with such quiet grace. It wasnât just her fame, though that was undeniable; it was something about her presence. She wasnât demanding attention, yet everyone seemed to be aware of her, drawn to her in a way that made me curious.
There was something magnetic about her. It wasnât just the way she lookedâit was the way she carried herself. She didnât seem to be seeking validation from anyone. She wasnât flashy, but there was an air of confidence, a mystery to her that intrigued me.Â
Iâd seen her throughout the weekend, but it was when I finally met her that everything clicked. We had a brief conversation with Alex, nothing too elaborate, just a few exchanged words, but it felt different somehow. The way she spoke, the way she listenedâit was all so natural, so unassuming. She wasnât trying to impress anyone, and yet there was something about her that made me want to know more. Her smile, the subtle warmth in her eyesâit was like she was letting me see just a glimpse of who she was, without revealing too much. It wasnât anything dramatic, just a casual interaction, but it left me wanting to understand what lay beneath that composed, almost guarded exterior. There was more to her, I was sure of it, and that curiosity lingered long after our conversation ended.
The more I thought about her, the more I found myself wondering what had brought her to this point in her life. Here she was, standing on the fringes of our worldâfamous, yes, but still somewhat distant, as if she didnât quite belong to this chaotic universe we all lived in.
I read her Instagram post after the race, since I was already in the car on the grid, when she posted it. She had opened up about the struggles she had been facing, about stepping away from the spotlight and the personal battles she was fighting. It was raw and vulnerable, nothing like the polished image the world saw. It made me realize that the person I had met wasnât the confident star I had expected, but someone much more complex. She wasnât just another celebrity navigating the chaos of fameâthere was a quiet strength to her, a kind of raw honesty that made me want to understand her even more.
Back in my hotel room later that evening, after everything had quieted down, I found myself scrolling through my phone. I couldnât stop thinking about her, about that brief moment when our eyes had met. I opened Instagram without really thinking about it, my fingers moving almost on autopilot as I searched for her name. Something inside me told me to take this small step. I followed her. There was no reason why I should expect anything from it, but I felt the impulse to reach out in some way, even if it was just this simple action.
I sat back on the bed as I hit âfollow,â my heart beating a little faster as I did. I wasnât expecting her to notice, but something about it felt right. I scrolled through her feed, each post revealing just a little more about who she was. There was an intimacy to her posts, the way she shared pieces of herself without fully letting anyone in. It wasnât the usual curated perfection I saw from other influencers. Each photo seemed to tell a story, but only if you were paying close attention. I couldnât help but be intrigued. Maybe it was the beginning of something, or maybe it was just a small, fleeting curiosity that would fade away. But as I followed her, I couldnât shake the feeling that this was just the start of something that could pull me into her world in ways I hadnât anticipated.
y/nâs povÂ
As I stirred the sauce, my phone dinged from across the kitchen. I wiped my hands on a towel and walked over to check it. When I unlocked the screen, I saw Franco had followed me on Instagram. I paused, staring at the notification for a moment, a little caught off guard. My mind raced as I thought about our brief encounter, and I felt a sudden urge to message him. Taking a deep breath, I opened the app, ready to start typing.
messages
third pov
Y/N stood in her kitchen, wiping down the last of the plates from dinner, the sounds of the quiet house filling the space around her. She had eaten alone tonight, a habit sheâd fallen into over the past few months. The familiar hum of the dishwasher was the only noise, but her mind was elsewhere. Francoâs face kept drifting into her thoughtsâhis easy smile, the way his eyes lit up when they spoke. Theyâd only met today, briefly, but something about him had stuck with her.
It had been a long day at the Grand Prix, full of excitement and noise, but when their conversation had veered into something personal, something quiet, it had been like the world had narrowed down to just the two of them. She had felt a spark, undeniable and electric, even though she knew heâd be leaving soon. He was on his way to Mexico for the next race, already on the plane when she had sat down to dinner by herself, yet the connection lingered in the back of her mind.
Y/N sighed, reaching for her notebook that rested on the counter. As she flipped through the pages, her fingers brushed over old lyrics, half-finished songs, and abandoned ideas. She hadnât written anything in weeksâno inspiration, no motivation. But tonight felt different. She had this restless energy swirling inside her, something she couldnât ignore. She sat down and began to write.
The pen moved quickly, almost without thought. The words felt raw, like they were pouring out of her all at once. She wasnât sure if it was the memories of the day or the faint pull of something more, but she couldnât stop herself. The chorus took shape, the melody forming like a whispered secret.
âItâs all in my head / Iâll keep it to myself / I know that youâll never see it / Iâm just looking for a reason..â (the bottom by gracie abrams)
Her mind wandered back to Franco, and she found herself replaying their brief encounter over and over. There was something about himâsomething real and different from anyone sheâd met in a long time. But he was leaving for Mexico, and soon enough, heâd be consumed by the fast-moving world of Formula 1. She wasnât sure if sheâd ever see him again, and the uncertainty gnawed at her.
But still, there was this quiet tug inside her, a feeling she couldnât shake. Maybeâjust maybeâthis moment held more than sheâd first realized. It was all in her head, she thought, but she couldnât help but hope for something more.
As she continued to write, her hand moved almost instinctively, the words flowing faster than she could process. It was like the music was the only place that made sense, the only thing that could capture what she couldnât quite say out loud. She smiled softly as the song began to take shape, feeling that spark of something inside her. It wasnât finished yet, but there was a sense that this was just the beginning.
The quiet of the house was only interrupted by the soft scratch of Y/N's pen as she wrote, her thoughts wandering to the conversation sheâd had earlier with Franco. Her phone suddenly buzzed, and she jumped slightly. Seeing Franco's name on the screen made her hesitate, but she quickly answered, trying to sound calm.
*start of phone call*
âHello?â she said, her shyness making the greeting almost tentative.
âHey, itâs Franco,â came his familiar voice, sounding warm and easy. âI just landed in Mexico. Howâs your night going?â
Y/N felt a small smile tug at her lips, a slight relief washing over her. âHi, Franco. Itâs going okay... just writing. How about you? How was the flight?â
âIt was fine, a bit long, but nothing I canât handle,â Franco replied, his tone light. âIt feels good to be here, though. Getting ready for the weekend.â
Y/N shifted in her seat, her fingers tapping nervously on her notebook. âYeah, Iâm sure it must be a bit overwhelming. But, uh, youâve done this kind of travel before, right?â
Franco laughed softly, clearly amused. âYou could say that. But every new race feels a little different. Thereâs always something new to learn. What about you? I know youâve only been to one race, right?â
âYeah, just today.â Y/N said, a little shy about admitting she was still new to the whole experience. âIt was... a lot. But really exciting too. I didnât expect to enjoy it as much as I did.â
âThatâs awesome. What did you think of the atmosphere?â Franco asked, genuinely curious.
Y/N smiled, remembering the energy from the day. âIt was wild, in a good way. I didnât really know what to expect, but the crowd was so into it. Itâs different from anything Iâve ever experienced.â
âI can imagine. Thereâs just something about a race day, huh?â Franco said. âIt gets under your skin.â
âYeah, I think I get that now,â Y/N replied, feeling a little more relaxed as the conversation moved away from the work side of things. âItâs... thrilling. I can see why people love it.â
âSo, what did you do after the race? Did you go back hotel?â Franco asked, genuinely interested in how she was spending her time.
Y/N shifted slightly, a little self-conscious. âNo, I just came home. I haven't been, um... great with big crowds recently, so I thought Iâd unwind for the night. I guess itâs a good thing I like being alone sometimes.â
âI totally get that,â Franco said, his voice softer now, almost like he understood exactly what she meant. âIâm kind of the same way. Traveling and being around people can be... draining.â
Y/N smiled faintly, feeling a little more at ease. âYeah, exactly. Itâs nice to just have a quiet night to yourself.â
There was a pause, and then Franco continued, âWhat do you usually do when youâre alone? Like, when youâre not writing?â
Y/N hesitated before answering, her fingers gently brushing over the edges of her notebook. âI, uh, watch movies sometimes. Old ones. And I read a lot too. Mostly books that... help me forget everything for a little while.â
Francoâs voice was warm, and she could tell he was trying to keep the conversation light. âI think Iâd like some movie recommendations. Iâve been wanting to watch something different, but I donât know where to start.â
Y/N smiled softly, appreciating how easy the conversation was flowing now. âI could definitely do that. If you like old films, Iâd recommend some classic noirs. Theyâre... atmospheric, but in a cool way.â
âSounds perfect,â Franco said, clearly interested. âIâll have to try that when Iâm not in race mode.â
âIâll make a list for you, then,â Y/N replied, her voice lightening a little. âMaybe next time we talk, I can recommend a few more.â
âIâll look forward to it,â Franco said with a gentle laugh. âItâs nice just to talk about something thatâs not... the race or the schedule.â
âYeah, it is,â Y/N said quietly, feeling a strange sense of connection. âI didnât expect it to be so easy to talk.â
âMe neither,â Franco agreed. âBut Iâm glad weâre talking.â
Y/N smiled, feeling a little more comfortable with the whole situation. âMe too. Itâs... nice. Iâm glad you called.â
âGlad I did too. Well, Iâll let you get back to your writing,â Franco said, though his voice didnât sound ready to hang up. âBut weâll talk soon, okay?â
âYeah,â Y/N replied softly. âTake care, Franco.â
âYou too, Y/N. Talk soon,â he said before hanging up.
Y/N set the phone down, a quiet smile on her face. She didnât know why she felt so calm after talking to him, but somehow, it felt like the beginning of something she hadnât expected. A spark had been lit inside her, something she hadnât felt in a while. Her mind was buzzing, and for the first time in days, she felt truly alive.
She glanced at the clockâstill early, though not for longâand something inside her stirred. Without thinking, she grabbed her notebook and walked out of the room, heading down the hall toward her studio. The house was quiet, still, but her mind was racing. As she flipped the lights on in the small room filled with instruments, sound equipment, and all the tools of her trade, it was as if everything clicked into place
The walls, once silent and stifling, now seemed to hum with possibility. She set her notebook down, reached for her laptop, and immediately pulled up her music software. Her fingers hovered over the keys, and within minutes, she was in the zone, the melody flowing almost effortlessly. Ideas she hadnât known were waiting to be discovered spilled out of her, notes and lyrics coming together like pieces of a puzzle she hadnât known needed solving.
For hours, she lost herself in the music. The hours seemed to melt away, her focus unwavering as she crafted something new, something personal, something that felt like it was coming from the depths of her soul. She tweaked, arranged, and layered tracks, her mind guided only by the spark Franco had unknowingly ignited. She couldnât remember the last time sheâd been this inspired.
By the time the sun began to rise, Y/N was still in her studio, headphones on, eyes tired but exhilarated. She hadnât noticed the time slipping by until she glanced at the clock again. The song wasnât finished, but it was close. She smiled to herself, realizing that the night had passed without her even thinking about the exhaustion she usually felt. It was as though the music had become the one thing that could make her forget everything else.
She leaned back in her chair, taking a deep breath, and for the first time in what felt like forever, she was grateful for this new, unexpected source of inspiration. And in the back of her mind, she knew this song was only the beginning.
ââŠââŠââŠââŠââŠââŠââŠââŠââŠââŠââŠââŠâ
taglist: @heluvsjappie @awritingtree @steamy-smokey
#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#formula 1 x reader#f1 x y/n#formula 1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 smau#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto smau#franco colapinto imagine#fc43 x reader#f1 imagine#jzprncess
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
ââ BED HEAD
author's note: my christmas gift to my lovely followers and viewers <3 yes i am aware i've been M.I.A for the entirety of the second half of the year. forgive me! when the jhutch nation died a piece of me died with it. pls enjoy this apology fic, made it nice and sweet for my mike lovers (cough cough for me). enjoy!! ps. this is my personal favourite that ive written, boyfriend mike just hits different so expect a lot more of him coming soon wink wink! i mean it this time
'ৠâ§â pairing: boyfriend!mike schmidt x reader warnings: 18+ sexual content! oral sex (f!receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, dirty talk, swearing word count: 2000+ â â©â§â
Early mornings make for soft kisses. Outside, the streets are licked with hazes of morning fog, sprinkled with droplets of dew and not even ghosts wander the empty streets. In here, in Mikeâs house, thereâs no need to worry about the world beyond his peeling windowsill. Youâre cradled into his chest, his arms which encircle your torso and his legs which tangle into a web with yours. The mornings are just for you.Â
And Mike always wakes up before you. Itâs not something he does intentionally, but rather the blessing of his eternal clock, stirring his soul before the sun has so much as nipped at the horizon â and yet he reckons this is the best part of his day. Itâs the part where he gets to see you at your most vulnerable, your most unaware. Your lips are parted, carrying an imprint of yesterdayâs smile, and your hair is sprawled around you too deliberatelyâ like you were made to be perfect, even in your imperfection.Â
He likes to trace each fault and flaw that may linger in unsuspecting places with the plush pad of his calloused thumb, to explore the way your body dips at its own will, to memorise each pathway of skin that leads to your heart, a map thatâs solely his. He might pluck an eyelash oh so carefully of your cheek, heâll watch as your chest greets his with each soundless inhale, only to part momentarily when you breathe out again. He likes it best when youâre slotted right between his heartbeat. Youâre a dream heâs afraid to wake up from.Â
Of course, these moments are only beautiful because of their status as moments. They arenât eternal, they were made to be preserved. They fade when you wake up; when your big eyes blink up at him like a heedless doe. Like now. When you start to stir, your face scrunching up in a sleepy frown, Mike immediately closes his eyes. He rolls onto his back, one arm draped over his face like heâs shielding himself from the non-existent sunlight, like he hasnât been watching you for the last ten minutes.
You crack an eyelid, admiring his figure as it soaks up the beginnings of a sunrise. âMorning bedhead,â you tease, grogginess and all. He grunts in acknowledgement, not shifting from his position of comfort.Â
âMorning,â he grumbles back, not appreciating the teasing but not having the energy to send anything worthy of offense back at you. Your eyes trace over his messy hair, wild unruly ringlets of chestnut licking at his temples.Â
You shuffle over to him, wading through the sea of tangled bedsheets, and ruffle those curls, making his face bunch up like crumpled fabric, in mild irritation. âYou look like you lost a fight with a lawnmower,â you snort. He catches your wrist with a solid grip; sturdy as a tree is, down to the root. âDonât even start. Pretty sure youâve got me beat.â His voice is a baritone grumble as he references to your own head of locks, knowing full well that the cascading waves of pure velvet that are sewn into your head arenât even close to looking messy. He teases anyway.Â
âI dunno about that,â you murmur. Cocking a hesitant brow, watching his body flex into the sheets as each limb slowly begins to arise from slumber at itâs own snail pace. Itâs then you pad out of bed, to go attempt to start the morningâ and he stops you. A dull grunt sounds from his lips and he tugs at your arm.Â
âNo,â he mumblesâ broken by a dull yawn. âCâmon. You can⊠you can stay. Sâstill dark. Nothinâ to do yet.â The sort of puppy-ish pleading that swallows his irises is too strong not to resist to. So you let him have his little ritual; he tucks you into his shoulder, thumb circling supple skin. You let him smell behind your neck and nip at the junction where your collarbone becomes your shoulder becomes your arm. Suddenly itâs turned into lazy tastings of your body. Heâs drinking you in in the morning light, rolling you down and deep onto your back to make sure youâre imprinted on his fabric for later, lonelier nights.Â
âMikeââ He cuts you off. He has a habit of doing that, when he gets like this. All agitated and croaking, like you are his eternal life source.Â
âShh, no, let meâ let me have this.â
And heâs trekking lower, still. Warm hands planted on your knees, heâs opening your thighs for himself with that look in his eyes. Heâs a paradox, greed and yet utter selflessness as he buries his body right where you want him, idly tugging at the waistband of your cotton pajama pants. Â
âGonna make that bedhead worse.â He mumbles almost comically to himself. âGonna, gonna give you some bed head.â
You roll your eyes, heat of the moment evaporating as you erupt in stupid giggles. âYouâre such a dickhead,â you tell him, admiring the smug expression that spreads across his features. He looks like heâs where he belongs, nestled comfortably in that gap heâs made just for him, cradled by your legs.Â
âMaybe.â He mumbles with a stupidly self-satisfied grin, delving into you like he knows best. He rolls the cotton comfort of your legs and exposes you to the chilly bedroom air, and knowing it must be unpleasant to be so cold when itâs so early, heâs latching onto you as quick as he can to try and maintain heat pumping through your system.Â
And heâs a cocky motherfucker who knows that it works; molten fever rushes through every aching crevice of your figure and pushes to the surface as he flicks his tongue with expertise. He knows every spot, every stroke, every single way that makes you tick. Heâs spent a lot of time practicing, exploring, just so he can be perfect.Â
Every. Single. Time.Â
Youâre writhing already, with each motion. Calling his name out to nothing and nobody, the silence of the morning suddenly so obnoxious when itâs broken by the cracking chorus of your moans. Mike. You cry. Mike, Mike, Mike.Â
And heâs all entranced by you, you, you, as you quake right into his palms, just how he wants. The perfect way to start the morning is by breaking you apart and dealing with the mess. He admires, awfully, every tremor, every sob, every time your eyes lock with his and you watch him worship you, even if just for a fragile second before they roll back into your skull.Â
He plugs you up with one thick finger, reeling in the wet squelching suction of your cunt around his digit. Another follows, curling beside the first, resting snugly inside you. A few testing movements as he tries to find that place, and then finally you double over into yourself mewling like a lamb for slaughter.Â
âOh, thatâs it? Thatâs the spot?â He mutters, baritone voice just so sexy when itâs the only melody spilling into your ears, your brain, you soul. You answer with a little hum, and he coos as your hips buck to meet his palm; catching your weight as you grind your clit into the heel of it. You need moreâ you need so much more.Â
So he mutters a brief apology as he severs your orgasm; saving it for later, the upcoming future. And leaves you for just a moment, carefully maneuvering himself free from his sodden boxers and pumping his angry length a few times, convulsing as he does so. Heâs more sensitive in the mornings, every single goose-pebbled part of him. You bite your lip in anticipation, pink flesh billowing white under the force of your teeth.Â
His eyes glance up to you; coffee and caramel stirred with a copper spoon, awaiting your command. âYou... you want me, right?â He breathes gently. Shuffling himself closer, hoping to meld a piece of his soul into yours. To secure you to him, through and through. And of course you nod, with ego-inflating eagerness.Â
âCourse I do. And how aboutââ
It throws him off when your tender hands grip onto his shoulders; like a turning tide your body steers him of course, pummeled over so he can drown under your current as you position yourself ontop. âLet me,â you whisper, holding his cock so gently in your hands, a contrast of efforts in the way you stroke so slowly, so patiently. In all honesty, he hasnât got much of that left.Â
A salacious groan slips free from his throat. âShit, can you just, uh, can you please put it in, I canâtâ Iâm gonna blow right now.â Â
He expects another mocking comment but all he gets is compliance. A gentle kiss, fanning across his freckled cheeks that glow so red in the heat of the moment, a slow and calculated sink of your pelvis against his, and a juggled handful of shared rugged breaths as the feeling of fullness branches across the pair of you. Heâll never get over your fit, itâs too hand-crafted, too cunningly created. His hands shakily struggle to make their way onto your hips, not so much for control as it is to keep himself grounded. Skin to skin to skin, as though to prove you arenât just a fabrication from his desperate, delusional morning mind.Â
When your hips begin to roll, itâs lazy. Grogginess permeates every part of you and there isnât enough strength for anything more than gentle juts; back and forth, back and forth, a seesaw of sorts, but he appreciates the movement anyway. Mikeâs head falls back into the pillow, framed by a halo of his own sweat and drool as he lets you do the work. Itâs his own hazy heaven, the morning he wishes he could preserve.Â
You suck his cock up deeper into your hole, clamping down on him in a vain attempt to try and keep him there, tucked away inside you forever like a pocketed memory of sorts. He begins to meet your thrusts, sending sparks through each wild thrust of his flying hips.Â
âWant this every day,â he whines, deep through his throat like he canât even contain his words as they bleed all over you in a wash of near orgasmic bliss.Â
âYeah? You do, Mikey? Wannaâ wanna just wake me up to fuck me like this? Right here on your bed?â
His eyelids flutter and unfocus, blunt nails severing the skin of your hipbones as he begins to forcefully drag you across his cock, faster faster faster until the headboard squeaks along with you and heâs completely wordless and wounded. âWanna fuck you. Wannâ needa fuck you every day, yeah, jus' like that, shit, you were made for me,â he whines, pummelling into you with purpose. Force and purpose.Â
Heâs spearing you open on his eager cock, nudging your cervix, coaxing an orgasm out of itâs grave, the one he ended from earlier. You can feel it brewing and bubbling inside you, erupting itâs carnal desire like acid wash across your narrow cunt as you drink him in tighter, willing him to come with you. âMikey, mmm, come with me, câmon, pleaseââ
And itâs your begging that sends him over. A saccharine flush melts across his entire body, bottom to top, and heâs moaning as he tugs his length from beneath your folds and showers your sweaty torso in a creamy wash of white ribbons, spraying buckets from your belly button right up to your chin.
There is calm after the storm. A tranquil quiet falls back over his modest bedroom, accompanied by heavy breathing and the rustling of sheets. The aftertaste of the morning is careful sponge-washing and coffee. He clears you off with a damp washcloth, love ebbs from every action from him to you, like an endless chain. A circle has no end because it has no beginning; Mike thinks heâs always been drawn to you, even before you both knew itâ because heâs always been looking for this. For the gentle fleeting kisses that heâs showered in before the morning, for the bed he returns to which smells like sex and sodden promises. He canât wait for you to get home so that he can come back to his bed-headed girl.Â
masterlist
#mike schmidt smut#josh hutcherson smut#josh hutcherson x reader#josh hutcherson fluff#mike schmidt imagine#josh hutcherson#mike schmidt#slice of life#mike schmidt fluff#five nights at freddy's#fnaf movie#fnaf#peeta mellark smut#clapton davis x reader#peetamellark#hunger games
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay I gotta rant, I'm going to state rn this post is neither pro or anti Zelink.
I wish people could stop arguing over the canonicity of BOTW/TOTK Zelink. Idk I've seen a lot of arguments on it, like both sides are trying to checkmate each other. It's annoying.
I remember back when articles twisted the words of Zelda's VA, and a bunch of people were rude about it. Both sides. Then, when she clarified what she actually meant, there was a whole fit about it.
These games are about player freedom. Nintendo also wants Link, this one especially, to reflect the player. They want to keep it ambiguous and up to interpretation, yes we know Zelda loves Link but we in fact still don't know how Link feels about her.
Even stuff that can be used as evidence still have some ambiguity to it, for example Link's old house. It can be used as evidence for both sides and be up to interpretation for whether they are or aren't living together. On one hand this was Link's old house and Zelda lives there now, Zelda has his hairband, she says he always remains by his side, he can sleep on her bed, the table is set for two, and she has to hide the new tunic. On the other hand no one recognizes the house as Link's anymore it's only referred to as Zelda's house and his belongings are gone outside of the champions picture, there is one twin sized bed with one pillow and it's also important to note couples in this game sleep in seperate beds, Link can get a house in Terry Town, people talk to him as if he also doesn't normally go there, and there's an npc that Zelda isn't one to turn people away from her house so Link has permission to visit. There is room for interpretation and to come up with different reasonings for both sides.
This isn't me confirming or denying this Zelink but to show there is strong evidence for BOTH sides because it is meant to be ambiguous and up to interpretation.
There's also Link just not emoting for any cutscene he is in with her. I believe this is so you can interpret him feeling whatever you want him to feel (though personally I would rather him emote). He doesn't show any emotion when he learns the truth about her, when they reunite, or when the sages pledge to serve her. This is a stark contrast to the Zelinks that are pretty much canon like in Skyward Sword and Spirit Tracks. In both of these games there are very clear feelings for one another with Skyward Sword even having a romance theme for them. These Link's will emote and show how they feel in the moment with Zelda.
The point is it's tiring to see arguments on it. Civil discussions are fine, but heated debates are pointless. Aonuma says he wants people to see themselves in Link, and Aonuma also wants things to be open-ended and up for interpretation (like botws placement in the title). I haven't even touched on people hating on other ships (like miphlink and what not). I just think we should all be mindful, you know? You ship this Zelink? Great! You don't? Also, great! Both can coexist because, at the end of the day, neither is canon.
#the legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#totk#botw#breath of the wild#rant#shipping discourse#also this isnt targeted at anyone in particular or just one social media site#this is just something ive been seeing all over the place so
73 notes
·
View notes
Text
soapghost
#i love repressed ghost as much as anyone but i also love âthinks hes straightâ soap unknowingly getting a crush on out and proud ghost#and metalhead ghost??#punk soap and metalhead ghost???#fuck yeah gimme#ghost whos been in pits since he was a kid and is now a veteran of the scene and the self appointed look out#he keeps an eye out for anyone falling or passing out#kicks the shit out of anyone crowd killing or being creepy#and hes been keeping an eye on soap since he saw him throw himself headfirst into the wall of death#thinks hes either going to start something or end up hurting himself#and if he does he needs to know if he did it on purpose#he uses these places as an escape and he knows all to well how easily an escape can be self destructive#so when he sees him sweat his mohawk off he has no issues with pulling him out of the pit and telling him to open his mouth#at first the glaze the falls over his eyes concerns ghost#along with the colour of his tongue and gums he half thinks the guys about to drop#but when he reflexively tightens his hold on his jaw soap shivers and he smirks#soaps dropping alright just in a completely different way#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#weâre a team. ghost team#save post
146 notes
·
View notes
Text
Does anybody else feel like mental health awareness has done very little to help them in material reality
#i was gonna say done nothing to help but that seemed too harsh#like there definitely is more knowledge about it now. maybe more people feel comfortable speaking about it which is good#but personally i don't feel that. like idk. workplaces will post about mental health awareness and then do nothing to help employees#the same w universities. my uni cut back the already meager mental health support#and then the government is doing absolutely fuck all as well#like idk im just back in a place i thought id gotten out of long ago and i still don't feel comfortable talking about it with people#maybe that's a me problem or maybe it's cultural or something idk. but in the 10 years ive been depressed (đ« ) i don't think it's gotten a#whole lot better. teenagers are still dealing with the same shit i did and they're still not being taken seriously#women's mental health is not even spoken about.....anxiety depression sh eds etc are still ignored or seen as hysterical behaviour in women#or just normal esp with disordered eating. society hasn't changed people still want women to be stick thin and weak#like i know 10 years is a short time and there has been massive improvements in mh awareness if we look back over the past 50+ years#but idk i just think that it hasn't gotten better for a lot of people#i think specifically of belfast and like god. the amount of trauma there is the amount of homelessness the amount of substance abuse#drug abuse in particular that has gotten visibly worse over the past decade or so*#and i connect the dots n see the 2008 recession + a tory gov defunding the nhs + dehumanisation of homeless people & addicts + the troubles#+ ptsd + generational trauma + a negative peace + classism + paramilitary drug dealers + parties linked to those paramilitaries#and its like hmmmm i think we live in a society. and a mental health approach based on individual actions like journaling and meditation#isn't the way to go. or at least is not the be all and end all which is what a lot of mental health awareness raising seems to promote#*visibly worse on the streets. it was always a problem ofc but even a decade ago my parents never imagined it would be as bad as it is now#and it's become so normalised. i do think there's less individualism here than there seems to be elsewhere which can be good and can be bad#but i think we are becoming more and more individualistic. slowly. there's still a sense of community here but i do think it's changing#and callousness towards homeless people is one of the most obvious examples of this.#love when i put a wee asterisk in the tags of a post. like i have A Lot To Say lol
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
Endeavor is almost a perfect allegory for what the society in the mha universe does to people who can't be heroes or use their quirks in a way to benefit society, which is cast them aside or pass them over without over giving them a second glance until uh-oh! Suddenly they're worth being noticed because they're a threat.
He apologizes to his family, which is good! If you're a bad person and did terrible things, the first step in your own transformation and atonement should be to acknowledge what you've done and to apologize to those you've wronged. Great!
Thing is, Endeavor set off a chain reaction with his abusive, neglectful and downright irresponsible choices that it damaged everyone in his family for life.
I don't think someone who causes one of their own children to literally go up in flames, crying because they're finally getting attention from their father and family in the very end, ever deserves to be forgiven.
#mha#my hero academia#endevour#mha dabi#mha endeavor#im sure im gonna get some flack for this because for some reason lots of people think that he should be redeemed but no???#im sorry guys i like villain redemption arcs as much as the next person and i understand being confused over#why so many people forgive other villains vs endeavor#but theres something about being in a place of power and influence and using that to harm and neglect your family and having EVERYONE#EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD PRETTY MUCH JUST LOOK AWAY AND SAY OH ITS NOT MY FAMILY THATS HIS BUISNESS#BETTER NOT GET INVOLVED IT'LL SORT ITSELF OUT#that just doesnt sit right with me whatsoever#ive liked plenty of villains who do horrible things but i can still see their good side because they have their henchman or their own family#or that one person who they care for and will protect because thats their heart#im saying that even though endeavor FEELS BAD he really just didnt have a heart or care for anyone but himself until hmm#oh! after he became the number one hero#and after he got a scar that humbled him#theres a reddit post where the op talks about how people soften him and are willing to forgive him but i think thats coming from people who#very very thankfully no shade did jot have to deal with anyone like that irl in any way#OR people who are less into stories and allegories again no shade and take characters at a more surface level#its just another read on the character which of course is obviously fine but please please understand why people will never forgive him#mha spoilers#its like especially hard to not hate him when you find out that dabi had his mothers power all along#meaning he WAS that perfect child that endeavor had been looking for but he cast him aside too soon to even let that power bloom early on#god i hate Endeavor so much#love the way hes written story and character wise like he IS really well written#but fuck him all the same lol
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
being autistic in fandom spaces is like really miserable because iiiiiii miss social cues a lot. and text cues i either miss frequently or interpret differently than intended. which makes me analyze characters different and need things explained of what was like. Actually meant. but sometimes people are assholes and that always sticks with me a lot more than anybody calmly explainging it to me ever will
#it's not something that's super often but it's gotten worse since rejoining danganronpa and i feel so upset#tw vent#but like its happened more often like 3 and ive only been back in here since like july guys.#and ive thought abt these instances for months.#im beinf talked down to because of a fictional character bc my disability makes me inept isnt thay insane?#isnt that insane how people think that its fine to do that? to be incredibly mean spirited over this?#and i get complaining damn it i complain all tje time but it. makes me feel like theres something inherently Wrong with me#i cant understand like everyone else and need some things explained to me#which must mean i have no place here right#this is wjy im so scared to share my works because somehow everything i do is a carnal evil for. whatever reason.#gahh just . maybe if people were nicer but thay wont happen i know that#i feel childish for beinf so uspet im 22 and cant handle how the internet is but.#fandom is my safe space#im being othered in a place i want to feel safe.#it makesme wanna fall off the grid and just leave it all alone amd enjoy in private#and id still see stuff so im not going to do thag since itd be the same scenario just now im talking to me exclusively#but ah it makes me really wanna just Leave . sucks 2 suck i guess#i dont know. ive jus been thinking this for a few months now and ughhh i so g lnow im sick and spilling my guts#micetalk#not tagging my organizational bc i fear this might start something and ugh i dont want that
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'll admit, I hecking love, love, LOVE villainous characters ( Close to that are me liking some certified sassy stinkers :3 ). I dunno, I just am always fond on villain-type characters. I like their lore, the way they act, and sometimes I root for them ( Or root for their ass to be beat by the heroes haha ) >w<. Note for just fictional characters and there are some actions I really am not keen to cheer for :s.
Not sure if that makes sense aaaa.
I only randomly brought this up because I am watching some videos that discuss their placement on who they consider to be the best villains :3.
#nymphrasis#ramble#Ive always been fond of villain type characters since I was little#I do love heroes as well#Esp since I am fond of certain heroes and costumes xd#That and I admittedly have a real soft spot for heroes in Knight armor ( Probs why I double adore Pebbles from a Pebbles Series ) x3#But I will not deny that I am a huge sucker for villains#Ofc as long as they are written well!#I have seen a few shit villains in my time and just go#Blegh just push that away from me xv#I really am fond of lore story and design of a villain#It is moreso me being invested and get my eyes glued to see what happens next#I don't get those crazy crushes of a character if one were to assume x3#I just really love stories and I dunno I find villains interesting#Esp since it gets me digging my nails in a chair whenever something big and action pack starts#Makes me want to see what they plan to do next OwO#Hdhdjd djdjd#Funny coming from me because I love two things that are opposite of each other xD#I love evil and dark but I also love cute and lil sillies#So I will agree if I seem to come off as confusing to other people xD.#Idk myself really. My things of preference are all over the place xD
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
post ankle-twisting clarity
#i slipped in the mudddddd the other day LOL i twisted my one ankle and scraped up my other knee#so the past few days ive just been kind of needing to waddle around.....#LUCKILY its healing well and fast <3 but yknow i was like#so stressed out over shit that doesnt matter in school. and like this is an awful unintentional habit i have but i will get like#overly stressed over shit and then i'll start getting SUPER careless with everything. and then i'll injure myself foolishly and Calm Down#happened last year with my foolish midnight woodcarving incident LOL its always november....#BUT yeah luckily this years foolish injury is a quick one at least!!#but yeah like genuinely i was so stressed out about all my fine arts major shit. teachers have been really getting on my case recently#my main professor said that it was a good thing people get so riled up with my work because it means its impactful#tbh i didnt believe her at all i thought she was just trying to placate me but then i listened closely to the things faculty say when#they look at my fucking. cartoon wolf drawing or something and i think. she might be right actually. people keep getting frustrated with me#because i think they see a lot of potential in me but i basically only have to drive to draw cartoon wolves etc HFKJSDHJVKRFEds#which is great for my ego. maybe too good for my ego. that my mark making and colour use etc is so evocative to these industry and#instutition people. but on the other hand i was told like thrice now that my work has no place in a gallery. which is fine although im not#totally sure how true that is. but also afterwards one time i was suggested to go into animation instead which is. um.#so its not out of nowhere i mean i did want to be an animator when i was like 10 but if you know anything about the current state of the#animation industry its like genuinely wild to tell someone who you've only seen 2 dimensional watercolour and acrylic painted#sketchy lined drawings from and who has said they cant do digital art anymore that they should get an animation degree?#brother they would kill me. i would be killed. i had an inkling but it really made me notice so clearly how limited the experiences my#faculty kind of have with certain industries. which is fine. or maybe not. for a professor LOL but yknow. but i was like huh. i guess i can#just kind of chill lol if i just keep doing things maybe something will come of it. i may not get as much help in my artistic development#rn as i would like. but its chill i think i'll figure it out if i just keep doing stuff <3#doesnt really matter that my teachers dont know what to do with me. my kneeeee has a booboo so i am CHILLING out :)
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
very often ill see bears following my nsfw account and ill end up looking thru their profiles as i check for ppls ages in bio and theyre 99.9% bear4bear. That one anon lied to me.
#talkys#this is like a half joke/not that deep bc i dont actually care#and like. hm. how do i word dis.#there ARE people that have messaged me very very excessively over how much theyre into al on there#and i would NOT want that directed at me.#and i myself amâ of courseâ an al enjoyer#and like. this is also not that deep im not saying its actually affecting me on a very personal level#especially since me and skunker are boring little guy things#but seeing everyone going into that account only being there for my guy is just reminding me of#being friends with like the prettiest girl in high school#where like at lunch she'd leave to get something and all the guys tailing her would be like#so whats the name of your hot friend lol :)#LIKE GAH. of course you're here for him but damnnnn cmonnnn#idk how to describe it bc again id also feel strange if ppl were being weird about skunker instead. idk! idk what it is#and i myself wouldnt lust after skunker adjacent beasts etc so i get it but theres Something about it i cant place#I THINK its bc skunker is an expression of identity and self#and skunker and cow al are like. copium. so some part of me feels really alienated by feeling like my audience straight up doesnt want#''me'' there...ykwim...i think thats it. bc ive been asked for more solo als or al with literally anyone else#or al with other big guys bc itd be hotter#and while im open to dis if im paid to draw it it really feels like the simpsons sheep bit LOL
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#there's something really beautiful about experiencing the weather patterns of a new place#where i live now. its not like where i grew up. not like the foothills of Appalachia but its more familiar than the Chihuahuan desert was#when i go home to ohio everythings so green. so green. unimaginably green and the towns are in the woods. the hills roll#and trees billow deciduous and packed so tightly the treeline is like a wall of plant matter. here there are trees but they are tall and#evergreen. patchy in places like shrubs in the desert. the grass grows green but also pale tan and dead. houses are routed in valleys#between mountains. they're made of wood and not stucco but they still look strange and the landscape is crumpled together tall. and there's#water. it rains. days can be dreary and gray with drizzle. i forgot what thats like. when a single low stratus cloud blocks out thewhole sk#and fog clings to the trees. my school bus used to drive by a lake where thr fog was so thick i didnt kno how the driver could see the road#but somehow i forgot how much joy suspended water vapor gives me living in a place where when it rains it pours so hard the streets flood#and the greedy ground drinks the landscape dry. but there are new things as well. here smoke rolls up over thr mountains and gets stuck in#the valleys so that the weather forcast reads: Smoke for days on end. im used to tornado warnings and heat warnings and dust storm warnings#but ive never expected Smoke as a type of weather. and im sure there's more to experience. ive only been here like 3 weeks. its not as gree#as home. the storms dont seem to get quite so violent. the woods are so full of bears that its an active threat. but its not the desert#and while ill miss the shapes of desert plants and little lizards. when i look up at the pine and spruce trees i feel like i can breathe a#little easier. well see how i feel once the long cold winter sets in haha#but i dunno. part of me still longs for a violent thunderstorm. one where u can feel the temperature drop and u csn feel it building all da#one that bends the trees and smells like ozone. it was never like that in thr southwest and im not sure that happens here#but maybe thats just a desire for chaos and violence as a product of my pathological internal control. i cant be spontaneous so let nature#bring the fear to me. some of my favorite memories are watching lightning strikes#so it goes i suppose#unrelated#listen. is it fucked up to have ohio nostalgia? maybe so. but in my defense i grew up in the pretty part of ohio lol
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
took a bunch of clothes to my mom's to wash them since my washing machine is still down and she said 'ill do it dw about it' and threw my favourite white top in with the colours. i no longer have a favourite white top :)
#and i cant even be mad at her because her husband is dead#lol and lmao#anyway the top is now the ugliest greyish minty colour and it looks horrible#normally i wouldnt mind. like there were two white tops and the other also got dyed and idc#but this one had a more unique idc shape? whatever you call that. and it was one of the very few crop tops#that really made me feel good about my body. like not even 'ok i guess i dont look like something that crawled out of a garbage bin'#but genuinely 'good'#and it feels so stupid to be this upset over such a small thing but i feel like ive been at the very limit for the last few days#with everyone fucking crying around me#that this genuinely feels like a tragedy to me rn lol#anyway im being nice and i keep saying its no big deal and nvm but ig you can see that im upset#so now SHE'S mad that I'M mad even tho im not even being a bitch about it im just Sad lol#kms#anyway i feel like shit and it all feels so overwhelming and to think that ill have to spend the long weekend in may here too#my dad and his gf will be at my place in wrocĆaw going to concerts cause there's some sort of festival#all my friends will be chilling and having fun#and i cant even go to prague or vice versa because ill have to be here. having the time of my life with my mother and my grandpa#losing my mind and getting panick attacks in the bathroom lol
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
well folks its been a good two months of denial but i am finally ready to admit that the reason everything sucks is because of major depression relapse. if i werent so depressed id make this everyone elses problem by projecting it on to blorbo but alas
#taylor.txt#incapable of making this not a joke but i do have to say it kinda sucks#like obviously ive never been 100% free of my depression probably on account of it developing when i was a Child and then not getting any#treatment or even really any sympathy for until i was in my late teens but. BUT. even my historic mental breakdown 2 years ago didnt really#feel like depression. like yeah i was sad and hopeless but this is very different. sad and lethargic more so. simply too tired to be lost i#despair. which is i guess a good thing because it means its easier for me to fix. its just that right now im kinda stuck in it#i dont know if id say ive experienced major depression since my first year of uni#thats why ive been denying it all this time despite it being prettyâŠglaringly obvious#anyway. good news is im meeting with the prof of one of the classes im currently failing this week#and now i guess i kind of have an idea of what to tell her because all this time ive been struggling and i havent understood why#the content makes sense. i understand whats going on. but my memory has gotten so bad recently and the energy required to do my assignments#has been way too much. and im past my limit on that at this point unfortunately. like yeah shes probably gonna tell me well that sucks but#theres nothing i can do to save your grade and thats fine but at least i know even if it was a Me Problem that i let myself get depressed#again in the first place being actively depressed is a major barrier that i at least know isnt 100% me being an idiot with a bad attitude#i will struggle to the finish line but i will make it there. even if i fail a class or two in the process#and regardless of if it gets better i will finally go see my therapist again in the new year </3 something obviously led to this so whos to#say it wouldnt happen again if i just let that fester. whatever it is#also writing has been tough for the same reason school has been tough but its still happening and i will do more of it when school is over#i PROMMY
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
anybody else like. dislike the concept of putting the ways youre privileged in your bio in general
#was considering following someone and their bio said 'white american living on indigenous land complicit in genocide'#and its like. dude#that feels like youre just putting a big big flag that says 'LOOK AT ME IM A GOOD WHITE PERSON WHO KNOWS MY PLACE' like#i feel like if youre actually ~one of the good ones~ that should just like. be evident in how you conduct yourself no?#like i dont wanna lend credence to the idea of virtue signalling but. i mean thats literally what that is jabdksbd#thinking abt how every discourse major and minor ive been through has hit some for of 'you MUST put your axis of privilege#in your bio so (oppressed group) can quickly tell if youre speaking over them' and 100% of the time it actually meant#'so (oppressed group) can quickly tell if they can talk over you'#see again that one bnha server that melted down and the ppl who caused the issues were demanding to know everyones ethnicity#and then would aggressively shout at anyone who said white that they werent allowed to talk literally at all#and its like. no youre just using that as an excuse to force people to let you yell at them hello??#insert something here about that post going around saying 'you must have tma or tme in your bio'#like wow yeah no thank you if you want to yell at me you can do so based on the things i say:)#origibberish
2 notes
·
View notes