#this is honestly my dilemma with like all of the relationships on the show

[blusandbirds]

cobra kai really tears me apart because on one hand im like "i think hawk and sam should still hate each other just a little bit. i think they should be shooting nasty little comments at each other while demetri and miguel sigh over their heads. there's no reason for them to be as friendly or supportive as they are in the show."

and then on the other hand,,, look at them :(((

be stie s <3

[backtothefanfiction]

Professor Parker Part 2

Summary: where Professor Parker makes a deal with trouble, in order to get them to stay in class.

Word Count: 2.4k+

Warnings: 18+ Only! Smut, professor x student relationship (college age of course!), oral f!receiving, praise kink, angst

A/N- I am sorry this took so long to actually do, but yeah, after that recent talk show look (you know the one I’m talking about, if not I reblogged it a few posts back) I just knew I needed to go back to this. Anyway, enjoy.

Ps @sincericida it’s been a while since part one so would you mind reblogging to help find the original masses, who knows who’s usernames are still the same or working.

You weren’t going to continue taking his course. You had every intention of going straight to the Dean asking to change. Sure you had been eagerly awaiting this course ever since you’d first read about, it well over a year ago, when you were thinking about where you wanted to study after you graduated. The way Professor Parker focused on Multiversal Theory, using Physics of Matter to provide proof for his theories, it was a truly riveting subject. But now, after all this. There was no way you could stay in his class, listening to him talk for 12-15 hours a week, knowing he’d buried his head between your legs, made you cum again and again… no you couldn’t do it. That would just be self induced torture, no? Because there was also no way he’d fuck you until you saw stars again, would he? No, there was no way. Then how come you were now sat on top of his desk, your legs spread, panties dropped to the floor between you as he once again ate your pussy like he was a man starved?

He had stopped you as you went to leave, trying to blend in and leave amongst the crowd. “Hold it Miss Y/L/N.” Fuck! You thought you were gonna get away with it.

There was silence as you waited, arms folded- guarded- as the last couple of students left with small smiles and waved their goodbyes to the Professor. Professor, uhhh the reminder of the name he’d given you last night now felt very different.

“Don’t go.” He said as he moved back towards his desk and began shifting things around. “I know that look. Don’t change course.” You couldn’t meet his eyes. You kept quiet with your eyes to the ground as you watched him come back around the front of the desk, his ankles crossing over in front of him as he leant back on the desk. “Last nights on me, I’m sorry,” he admitted and it finally forced you to meet his eyes as he continued to speak. “But it shouldn’t mean you have to change course.”

You didn’t know what he expected you to say. You didn’t know how else to respond either, a now slightly less uncomfortable silence falling between you. He sighed as he ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head. “Well you certainly chose the right name to introduce yourself with… trouble.”

“You’re one to talk… Professor.” You said, finally finding your voice and the corner of his mouth quirked into a small smile.

“Okay, you have me there. But in all fairness, I’m not expecting to find new students in clubs.” He mused, both a chastising, yet naughty glimmer of admiration in his eye.

“You can blame my room mate for that one. You can also blame her for pushing me on you.” You chuffed as the memory from the night before came back to you.

He frowned as if remembering too. “Quite literally if I remember correctly.” He joked and it made your tummy flip.

You fell quiet again, your eyes quickly shooting back to looking at his feet instead of his face, as the feeling of your crush overwhelmed you and your previous dilemma returned.

As if he could see the conflict in your mind for himself, he stepped closer, forcing your attention back on him as he said, “What have I got to do to convince you to stay in this class?” He asked honestly, but he was too close to you. His smell was intoxicating. His gaze penetrating. His eyes were so soft and earnest, you just wanted to melt into them. His curls were too neat in the light of day and you just wanted to run your hands through them until they were fluffy and soft and messy again, just like they had been when you had left him in bed and snuck out this morning.

Your breathing caught in your chest as he reached out his hand to you, his warm fingers coming into contact with the smallest patch of bare skin on your arm where your cardigan had slipped down. It sent a shiver down your spine and you knew he had felt it.

He pulled his hand away again hesitantly and you reached to pull your cardigan back up onto your shoulder to cover yourself up again protectively. “I can’t.” You said gently, the two words breaking you and you knew you had to walk away before it was too late- before anything else could happen and make this hurt anymore.

You had taken two steps towards the door when you felt his hand reach for your wrist to pull you back. When you met his eyes you were met with conflict, it was plain on his face now as he looked you up and down fully in the light of day. His gaze finally fell to the floor and he released your wrist to rub at his face as he sighed. “Uhhhh you weren’t kidding when you said you were gonna cause me a whole load of trouble,” he muttered to himself and all you could do was frown, your fingers picking at the pages the notebook in your fingers, as you tried to work out what thoughts were going through his head.

He sighed again as he looked to the ceiling as if trying to talk himself out of whatever idea had placed itself into his head. “Fuck,” he groaned quietly and the next thing you knew he was marching towards the door.

You watched him closely, your heart in your mouth as he pulled down the blind and there was a faint click as he locked the door. You only just about had time to realise what he was doing before he marched back over to you, his hands reaching out to hold either side of your face as he brought his lips to yours.

The touch instantly made you ache between your legs, your knees wobbling slightly as you took a sudden deep breath in through your nose as if his kiss alone allowed you to breathe freely again. There was a loud slap as the book in your hands hit the linoleum floor, but neither of you flinched as your reached your fingers up into his hair, messing up his curls and pulling him closer.

As his arm moved down to snake around your lower back, pulling you in closer to him, you could feel every contour of his body. Could feel the pressure building behind his pants zipper.

You opened your mouth up to him more and felt him waste no time, as he licked inside your mouth, pulling a desperate and wanton moan from between your lips. He grunted slightly in response, his forehead pushing into yours desperately as he forced himself to break off the passionate kiss for just a moment. “Are you sure this is what you want?” He asked. “You know you won’t be able to say anything to anyone.” He said, his eyes searching yours for any hesitation. “But I’m not letting you transfer out of this class, okay?” He said strongly.

You felt dizzy. Your eyes struggled to focus on him. From his kiss to his questions- far too many to answer in a short amount of time- you just wanted to feel his lips on yours again. Wanted to feel his fingers everywhere. Last night had been the best night of your life so far and he was dangling that feeling in front of you like a poisoned apple on a string- and you so wanted to bite.

“Come on, Trouble, I need you to answer me,” he said, somewhat desperately and it made you wonder, maybe he wanted this just as much as you did. At first you thought this might just be a ruse to get you to stay, but maybe it was more than that.

“Yes,” you sighed breathlessly.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I understand. I’ll stay. I won’t tell anyone, just please-“ you hesitated a second as you heard the rest of the sentence you wanted to say play out in your head and worked up the courage to say it- but you figured you’d come this far and already given yourself a nickname to live up to so why not say it- “promise me you’ll do that thing with your tongue again.” You sighed out breathlessly and a devilish gleam twinkled in his eye as he let out a small chuckle and shook his head gently against yours.

“Trouble,” he sighed. “Which thing?” He asked, playing along with you, but you were sure he already knew, so kept quiet as his gaze on you grew hungrier. He gave you a wolfish grin as he shook his head again. “When? Now?” He asked and you nibbled at your lip in anticipation.

He sighed again and rolled his eyes, his fingers reaching for yours as he began to pull you slowly around the back of his desk, backing you up until the backs of your thighs were pressing into the wood.

“It’s a good thing you wore a skirt for your first day of my class then, isn’t it?” He teased, his fingers tracing up your bare skin, slowly inching underneath the skirt and sending a shiver up your spine. He didn’t stop their journey until he reached your underwear, his fingers hooking into the elastic at your hips and slowly dragging them back down your legs at an agonising pace, until they reached your knees and he let them drop to the floor, ready for you to step out of them.

As you did so, he slowly encouraged you to sit back on top of his desk, his hands reaching back to lift up your skirt and reveal yourself to him, his eyes not leaving yours, as he slowly lowered himself onto his knees on the floor before you. Your eyes fluttered closed and you sighed as his lips turned to graze the inside of your knee, the barely there touch of his mouth on your skin enough to send an overwhelming rush of arousal to your core. As he gradually kissed his way up your inner thigh, your fingers gripping the papers on his desk to ground. You couldn’t believe you were actually doing this. You were about to enter into a secret affair with your professor like this was an episode of Riverdale or Pretty Little Liars.

But as his tongue finally moved up to swipe through your sex, you really didn’t care. If it meant you got to experience the bliss this man was able to drag from you on a regular basis, you didn’t care about anything. As he continued lick at your folds, his tongue sucking your clit into his mouth every few swipes, building you up at an agonising pace, you fought with all your might to keep your moans quiet, biting down on your lower lip with a strangled sigh as your sensitivity bloomed and the pressure between your legs grew tighter.

You allowed yourself one low shaky sigh as his tongue pushed deep inside you, teasing you agonisingly and you gripped the edges of his desk as you grew desperately close to your release. “Good girl,” he praised, as he took his mouth back away from you for just a second, before sliding two of his fingers gently inside you and sucking your clit back between his lips.

“Oh, shit.” You hissed, as his words and tone sent another flutter of arousal and sensitivity between your lips and you finally realised how much trouble you were really in. But it was too late, you’d already taken a bite from the tainted apple, the poison was already coursing through your blood and it felt far too good to run away.

His fingers gripped tighter to your thighs as they began to shake, your climax so desperate to come flooding out, but the tension of needing to be quiet made it unbearable. Your fingers clawed at his shoulders as you tried to keep yourself grounded and in control, the coil deep in your pelvis ready to expload and you felt his fingers slip out of you, his hands moving to hold you down firmly onto the desk as he took one last swipe at the sensitive apex between your legs. Your eyes squeezed shut, your legs clamping tightly around his face as it all came crashing down, the tiniest desperate squeak escaping from between your lips before you swallowed the need to cry out back down, instead panting your way through your climax until you could feel your body beginning to cool and calm again.

Slowly you relaxed your thighs and you heard a faint breathy chuckle of satisfaction fall from his lips as he rubbed soothingly at your bare legs again, before moving back, his hand casually moving to wipe away the mess on his face.

As he finally stood back up, his tongue lapping up the last of your juices from his lips, you saw him bunch up your panties, that he’d picked up off the floor, and wrap them tightly in his fingers before sliding them into his pocket.

“Hey, I need those back.” You said to him indignantly, a slight panic in your chest at the thought of having to walk back out of the classroom with nothing on under your skirt.

“New rule.” He said, standing up straight as he looked over your flushed form, still sitting on top of his desk as he leaned in closer. “Your panties end up on my classroom floor, I get to keep hold of them.” You were sure his words had just sent another wave of arousal back down between your legs, but you fought to ignore it, the thought of walking out of here panty-less, still more pressing, especially if this was going to be a regular thing- you’d be out of underwear before the semester was out and there was no way your student budget was gonna stretch to new underwear every other week.

You were about to protest the fact as you pushed yourself off the desk, your hand reaching out to snatch your underwear back from his pocket, but he swerved out the way before you could so much as even make the slightest bit of contact. “Uh, uh, uh,” he said, holding his finger up to me, that devilish smirk back in the corner of his mouth. “You can have them back, as long as you get good grades on your essays.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you let out a breathy little scoff. “So do we have a deal, trouble?” He asked patiently.

You rolled your eyes again as you conceded, “Yeah,” you sighed, “we have a deal.”

[blackknight-kai]

So sorry to bother you, but while I was cleaning our fridge and listening to music, Lana Del Rey's Young and Beautiful played, I can't stop thinking about mortal fem reader with Sun Wukong being like, "Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful? When I got nothing but my aching soul?" 😭

So if that's okay, I want to request a short fic about Wukong/Mortal!Reader going through this dilemma? What is he going to do? To say? I'm so sorry for this angst but I'm so HMSNDGSG 😭😭😭🙉🙉🙉

Ngl I’m forever an optimist (also I’m baby 💀 I’m like ‘no heavy angst happy ending only!’) so uh yeah 🤣🤣🤣

This may not be a full fic but here you go!

Wukong and you have discussed your aging at some point. It honestly was probably one of the things that held you back from furthering your relationship with him. But it was hard to resist because well….hes HIM. Charming and sweet when he wants to be, especially for you. You find his nature endearing and honestly? He wants to be better for you. For your life together.

Thing is though, you’re gonna age. And unfortunately it’s a sensitive topic. Why? Because it’s painful in different ways for the both of you.

You fear you won’t be beautiful or be able to keep up with him. Just a husk holding your soul…

He fears losing you in general.

Both are valid. And honestly you hadn’t told him your exact fear regarding it before tonight. Something about today got to you. Maybe it was the way your back ached? Or the way your knee popped.

But today just was not a pleasant day for your thoughts. You start to really think about your future, something you shy away from due to how depressing it seems. And Wukong can sense your mood shift. Knows something’s wrong.

It takes him a while to weasel it out of you, he brings you flowers and your favorite treat. He even rubs your shoulders and kisses your neck soothingly as you relax in a warm bath together.

When he softly asks you what’s been wrong, well you honestly don’t have the walls up to deny him an answer. Hearing your fears about your youth and beauty don’t necessarily surprise him, but it does bother him.

It hurts him to think you worry about such a thing. As if he’d ever tire of you or find you anything less than gorgeous. His main fear is just losing you entirely, you no longer being there at all…the though makes his chest ache enough to want to rip his heart out. Which he might do if the time ever came for you to disappear from his side.

He pulls you back against his chest and nuzzles his nose and mouth against your neck as he reassures you that of course he’s going to find you beautiful, no matter what. How nothing not even wrinkles would ever make him stop loving you. That he will love every single part of you from here on until the end of time. Wukong spends the next several hours pampering you and showing you just how much he loves you, and will continue to love you. He is soft, tender, and gentle with his words and touches. Pouring every ounce of his feelings for you into every action and murmured word.

He does tell you that it won’t matter if you go grey and slow down. He will care for you and be by your side as long as you let him. That you better let him, or it might kill him. He wants to be with you for every moment up to the last so that the last thing you see, hear, smell, touch, taste, and know is his love for you.

Come morning you feel better but the thought of growing old and slow while he remains as he always is tingles in the background of your mind.

His too.

And so, he makes a decision. One he will definitely discuss with you but only after he’s found the solution. Because he would never ever force something on you, not like this. But he is going to get you an option.

Months maybe a year or two later he finally has something. It’s tangible and will work. You could remain by his side forever if you so choose. But….the question now is…will you choose to do it? Or will you refuse and let life take its natural course?

He will respect your choice….but with every fiber of his being and hair on his body he hopes you choose him.

(On the flip side, there’s the alternative of him finding a way to rid his immortality but I think that’s less likely. I know there are darker sides to this but I didn’t feel like exploring that here 😊).

[wild-west-wind]

Hi 👋As a Park Ranger (interpretative, like me?), I assume you know all about how the NPS was formed- most of the land was brutally, illegally taken from the local tribes. I've been having a moral dilemma about my role in the national park system. I love educating the public and being a positive influence, but am I upholding an oppressive system? I know that if I were to switch to education or to museums, it'd be the same question. What I'm asking is: how do you reconcile with that?

I mean, this is true of all the land in the US, so it's bigger than the park service.

Before I dig into this as a white person, here's what Deb Haaland has to say:

I think that the Park Service has a lot to reckon with historically, and I think parks lately are showing some interest in trying to do that. From big parks like Yellowstone bringing diverse Indigenous stakeholders to to table on management decisions while also supplying buffalo to regrow and strengthen herds thousands of miles away, to Canyon de Chelly's requirement that tourists travel into the canyon only with a Navajo guide in recognition of the location's sacred nature, to Pipestone National Monument celebrating ongoing traditional pipestone quarrying, to advocacy for protection by the Department of the Interior at Bears Ears.

As a (pretty much entirely) white interp ranger, I understand that I'm living in someone else's home, but I was living in someone else's home when I lived in LA too, and none of that is unique to the US. And honestly I think, for the tremendous flaws of the National Park idea, at least we try to preserve things. In a lot of colonial nations that hasn't been the case.

I think more National Park Sites should form better relationships with local tribal governments, and see what they want. Different people have different relationships with different places, and will want different things. I think the Park Service should open the door to co management more, and encourage more opportunities for Indigenous people to tell their own stories and not leave it all in the hands of randos like us. I think we're moving the right direction in that regard.

The fact of the matter, in the end, is that none of this begins or ends with the Park Service. It's a puzzle piece, a tool used to enact, enforce, repair, undo, and uphold the ideals of a nation that has never effectively dealt with its past, present, or future. I think protecting land from development and preserving natural spaces is a valuable, albeit naive, goal. It can't be done in a vacuum though. As I look toward a future of the National Parks, I see a lot more Native involvement in their management. That will look different in each site, in reflection of the different cultures there. I can't speak to what that will look like for anywhere in particular, but it is happening already, and as educators it's part of our job to explain the whys and hows of that to people who don't get it, and who think sharing will mean losing something they love. At the end of the day, that thing they loved was broken, and there is good momentum behind fixing it, and most people can understand that given time.

I think it's good that you feel guilty. It means you're paying attention. I think the important thing now is to turn that into momentum and passion. Figure out what you can do and do it.

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (06)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, kissing (omg k1ss1ng omg WHO IS IT ??? 😦), tbh this is the only warning i wanted u guys to read cuz 6 chapters in and we finally get sum action i feel like that's a win lmaooooo, jimin being Real as fook, unbeta'd cuz uhm i'm a godless menace who should be conked on the head, once again we are severely lacking jk in his own fic lol i'm owning up to this 🤗 BUT! this is probably the last chapter where jk feels like a side character lol apologies my dudes

rating: PG-13

word count: 8.1k (honestly i wrote obs6 just so i could get to obs7 lmao that's why it's a lil bit shorter)

note: my apologies if this sucks. you are legally allowed to stone me if you hate it. but i hope you don't hate it. but if you do hate it don't tell me just stone me lol 🤐 why am i so unhinged with this update

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

I can see you starin', honey Like he's just your understudy Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

Exile - Taylor Swift (ft. Bon Iver)

The picture is fucking terrible.

“Jimin, what the fuck,” you grumble, staring at the huge framed photo on the wall, taken on the day of the opening party. You, Taehyung and Jimin are gathered on the floor of the dance studio, with boxes of takeout neatly sitting between the three of you. “I look like ass.”

Jimin barely glances at the wall, just continues to stuff his face with the dumplings that you ordered. “You look fine,” he says absentmindedly, mouth full, continuing to munch on the food despite your little dilemma.

“Bitch, I have my eyes closed.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“I look like I’m in the middle of a sneeze.” You cross your arms in front of your chest, squinting at your photographed self again. The more you look at it, the more irritated you become.

Realistically, you know nobody would pay enough attention to notice the immortalized visual of your fluttering eyes, and you yourself wouldn’t care about it that much. Maybe you would even laugh in good spirits and poke fun at yourself as you often do. Make a meme of it for the group chat.

“What’s the big deal?” Jimin asks.

You shrug petulantly. “I told you. I look like ass.”

Yeah, true, but it’s also more than that.

It’s the fact that the person standing next to you looks so good that you must voice your grievances. It’s the fact that he looks so much more than just good. 

The guys stop eating to look at you. You wonder just how much of what you’re feeling is written all over your face. Regardless, they don’t comment on it. 

One of them clears his throat, shaking the whole thing off.

“Did you tell Yoongi anything yet?” Jimin asks.

You poke at a lone dumpling with your chopsticks, popping the ‘p’ when you say, “Nope.”

“Damn, Y/N,” Jimin scolds you. “It’s been three weeks. He doesn’t want to push you for an answer but the man has got to be suffering.”

You flick a piece of spring onion garnish at him. It lands on his hair, a single bit of green sitting among golden locks. “I don’t know what to tell him!”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Jimin shakes the onion piece from his head and chucks it back at you. “Obviously you say yes!”

You exhale through your nose, then take a bite of your dumpling. You nibble on the fried dough, stretching out the silence, delaying your response.

It hasn’t even started, and it might not even start. But you’re already thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Yoong is your friend, first and foremost. He’s a good friend, and you would be crushed if you lose that relationship. 

What if he hurts you, or you hurt him?

Sometimes, people are meant to hurt each other even if they don’t mean to.

Yoongi hasn’t seen your pieces in all of their jagged glory, how they’re only meant to reflect the light but never be healed by it. He’s still blissfully unaware of the ugly thoughts that have a home inside your head, and you’re afraid if you let him in, he’d realize it’s a place he doesn’t want to be. It’s hard to love a broken thing. You wouldn’t want to love you either.

Maybe this is the real reason that’s been holding you back all this time. Maybe it isn’t Jungkook - though he certainly isn’t absolved - but it’s you, and how you just don’t know if you’re someone who deserves to love and be loved. You’ve felt inadequate more times than you can count. You’ve been left before. Who’s to say it isn’t going to happen again?

You’re well aware that this is a bad way to look at things, but can anyone really blame you? You still have a heart, and despite how fragmented it is, you still want to protect it.

“I know that look,” Taehyung says, parting your fog and pulling you back to him. “You’re overthinking again.”

You roll your eyes. He knows you so well, but does he have to call you out every time?

“I’m not overthinking. I’m regular thinking.”

“Right. And to normal people, that’s overthinking.”

“It’s just…” you wonder out loud, gaze on the floor. “What if I go all in, and Yoongi sees me for who I am and thinks that I’m just an utterly sad person who can’t be loved? That I’m too much work when he’s got literally thousands of people throwing themselves at him left and right?”

Taehyung stares at the side of your face as he bites the inside of his cheek. His tongue soothes the spot, his jaw clenching once. “He’s not going to think that.”

“You don’t know that,” you say, the corners of your mouth tugging down.

“You’re not unlovable just because one person didn’t love you right. So stop it with that bullshit, because I love you,” he says, voice serious. Even Jimin stays silent as he listens to his friend, his eyes flickering between you and Taehyung. “And Jimin loves you. Hobi loves you.”

You merely blink, because you hate it when he’s right. In all fairness, you understand. This is the same thing you would tell him if the situation were reversed.

You deflect anyway. That’s what you do best.

“You don’t count,” you tell him with an unserious scoff, your tone starkly contrasting his. “You’re my family.”

You taste something bitter as soon as the words leave your mouth. You should know better than anyone, that just because someone’s your family, doesn’t mean they have to love you.

Taehyung reenacts the blinking guy meme before chuckling, holding a hand over his chest like you’ve just wounded him. “Ouch.”

“You two are getting nowhere,” Jimin interjects. “Just call Yoongi.”

“And say what?” you ask.

“I told you. Say yes. God, you’re so dense sometimes.”

You reach over to jab a finger into his side, making him hiss and shuffle away from you.

“That wasn’t nice,” you grumble.

“Well, somebody’s gotta say it.” He gives you a look, eyebrows raised for a few seconds before he lowers them and grows more stern. “Come on, Y/N. You know you don’t want to say no, or else you would’ve turned him down already. You said you wanted to start dating again. Yoongi is practically on his knees offering himself to you. What are you waiting for?”

There’s a voice in the back of your head - tiny, barely audible - that whispers, Who are you waiting for?

“Fuck it, I’ll say it,” Jimin continues. “It sucks balls that Jungkook hurt you, but you can’t let that affect you for the rest of your life. Not everyone is going to hurt you. You’re not even giving Yoongi a chance just because someone else did you dirty. If you keep always thinking about the worst possible outcome and banking on it to happen, then you’re never going to get anywhere. I love you, dude, but y’know.”

You stare at Jimin with your mouth slightly open, stunned into silence. When you glance at Taehyung, he’s surprised too, though probably not as much as you.

After a couple of minutes, you say, “Wow.”

“Tough love. I have my moments.” Jimin shrugs casually, like he didn’t just drop a truth bomb on your head. “But also…” He picks his phone up and types something in. Your phone instantly buzzes with a notification.

“Open the link I just sent you,” he says.

“You are literally sitting across from me.”

“Just open it! I made you a playlist.”

“Aw, Jimin, that’s so cute,” you coo softly, reaching over to pinch his cheek before he swats your hand away. You unlock your phone to see what Jimin made you, because that is some friendship hall of fame stuff right there. However, when the link redirects you to your music app, your smile immediately drops.

Aaand he’s back.

You stare at the screen for a good ten seconds to try and find your bearings, flabbergasted at something that is quite honestly very on-brand for Jimin if you think about it. “You made me a playlist called Dick Appointment with an eggplant emoji and the tongue out emoji and it’s mostly just Yoongi’s songs. Even the playlist cover is from his Valentino shoot.”

“So you can get it on while Agust D plays in the background!” Jimin grins, and you could just smack it right off his face.

“Park Jimin, who raised you? You are vile.”

“Validate me,” he demands. Oh, you would smack him. You really would. “I spent hours making that playlist.”

“It’s literally just Yoongi’s songs.”

“Yeah, but I had to curate an experience. I can’t just dump every song into a playlist and call it a day. I gotta make sure they fit the vibe.”

“I literally just heard the most profound shit from you not even two minutes ago.” Then, you turn to Taehyung with an exasperated look on your face. “Why would you let him do this?”

He just waves a dismissive hand in the air, like Jimin isn’t even there. “I’m not responsible for the stupid shit he does.”

Jimin crosses his arms in front of his chest, both eyebrows raised dramatically as he gapes at you. “You both suck. From now on, you can make your own sexytime playlists.”

“Nobody even asked you to do that!” you cry.

“Yeah! Which makes me an even more considerate friend,” he says. “Ugh. Whatever. Go call Yoongi.”

“You want me to do it now?”

“Yes. Because I know you’ll wuss out when you’re alone. You can stay and put him on speakers for us to hear or you can go out into the hallway. Come on, chop chop.”

“No, I have to text him first,” you protest. “What if he’s busy?”

Jimin narrows his eyes at you suspiciously, but allows you this after a moment. “Fine.”

You take out your phone from your bag that’s lying carelessly on the floor to draft a quick message to Yoongi. 

[12:59] You: got a minute?

The three of you go back to the food, abandoning the previous topic of conversation in favor of something lighter and meaningless or else you would go crazy waiting for Yoongi’s reply. After you’re finished, you and Taehyung are in the middle of putting away all the empty containers and soda cans when your phone buzzes again. 

You go to grab it to look at the notification, hands already starting to sweat.

[13:17] Yoongi: for you? always :)

You turn back to the guys to find them already looking at you. Jimin wiggles his eyebrows suggestively while Taehyung just stares at you.

“Time to get your whore on,” Jimin says in an exaggeratedly sultry voice.

You turn to Taehyung for help. “He’s bullying me.”

“Ignore him,” your best friend tells you gently. “Go call Yoongi.”

When you take your phone out into the hallway, you make sure to go to the far end of it, near the main entrance so the two dorks can’t eavesdrop. You’ll tell them everything once you come back anyway, but you don’t want them within earshot while you’re in the middle of it.

Yoongi picks up your call on the third ring. In the background, your ear picks up on some chatter.

“Hey, princess,” he greets you. Then he holds the phone away from his ear to tell someone that he’d be back in a bit.

“Hey,” you say. “Where are you?”

“Just at a fitting. I have an ad campaign to film next week,” he answers. “Did you call just to get my whereabouts?”

“No, I… If you’re busy, we can talk later.”

“We’re still in the middle of lunch break anyway. What did you want to talk about?”

You briefly regret not taking a minute to psych yourself up before. You suck in a deep breath, which eases your nerves for just a second, long enough for you to say, “Yes.”

You’re met with brief silence from the other end of the line, which only makes your palms more clammy than they already are.

“Yes?” he echoes confusedly. “Yes what?”

“Yes,” you say again. “To…”

The silence commences once more, and lasts longer than you think you can handle. Then, you hear him stop in the middle of a breath.

“Oh.” A subsequent chuckle in response to the lightbulb that must’ve been switched on. “To that?”

“...Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

It feels like you two have invented a secret language that nobody else could understand. A single syllable, bouncing off the metaphorical walls of your conversation. Two idiots sharing the same brain cell.

“Yes?” he continues to prod, but at this point, you know he’s just teasing you.

“Yes! God, stop making me say it again. We sound so stupid.”

He graces you with a hearty laugh that makes you fight back a sheepish smile, even though there isn’t a single soul in sight to witness it. Yoongi makes you so fucking shy for some reason. Your nerves dissolve momentarily as you lean against the wall, your index finger running along a crack in the paint.

“Hmm, I wish you would’ve told me this in person,” he says, his voice soft.

“I can’t handle you in person. You’d tease me so much.”

“Because you’re adorable when you’re flustered, that’s why.” He waits a second before adding, “You’re blushing right now, aren’t you?”

“You’re being overly confident, Min.”

��Maybe,” he responds easily. “But am I right, though?”

“Shut up.”

When Yoongi said he would cook for you, you almost gasped.

“You can cook?” you had asked. It wasn’t an earth-shattering revelation or anything, but you suppose you’d never given much thought to the hidden sides of him. 

“Y/N,” he laughed then. “I’m a great cook. I could probably make a pretty decent career out of being a chef.”

“I didn’t know that,” you told him sheepishly.

“There’s a lot of things you still need to know about me.” It sounded like a promise. Like I’m willing to show you me. Like I’m willing to take the first step if you’d be in this with me too. “Does that sound like a good idea? You, me, dinner at your place?”

“My place?”

“Yeah, so you’ll be more comfortable. I’ll come over.”

This one simple gesture shouldn’t affect you that much, but it does. You appreciate that he’s considerate even when it comes to the littlest things. You swell with gratitude for the thought he puts into this, into putting your comfort first. It made you feel a bit better about yourself, calmed your stormy sea of thoughts enough to rationally accept the fact that he genuinely cares.

Regardless, it doesn’t stop you from spending most of the day obsessively cleaning your apartment. Even - and especially - your bedroom, although you’re sure that is not where the night will end. Every surface is spotless, not a single speck of dust to be found. It’s like the goddamn Pope is coming over for a house inspection. 

You haven’t had a first date in… fuck, how long has it been now? Nine years? It’s almost been a fucking decade already? You honestly can’t tell if that’s embarrassing or not.

But you remember the last time.

College, freshman year, with Jungkook. His yellow piece of sticky note that he slipped inside your favorite book. His adorably flustered expression when he timidly stood in front of you in the campus library. The way he was trying so hard to be confident and charming throughout your first dinner together. How he ran back to you after saying goodnight.

No.

You shut your eyes and shake your head, warding off any Jungkook-related thoughts before they could send you spiraling. You can’t reminisce about your ex while waiting for someone else to show. Yoongi deserves better, and that’s what you’re trying to be.

You’re not exactly sure how nice you should dress tonight. Yoongi told you that you could be clad in sweats for all he cares. If the dinner didn’t hold any connotation other than platonic, maybe you would’ve really donned your loungewear like you were merely having Taehyung and Jimin over for pizza.

You’d completely forgotten all the things people worry about in the early stages of dating, when you want to impress the other person but don’t want them to think that you’re trying too hard. 

Calm down. It’s just Yoongi. He’s seen you ugly crying with mascara running down your face, for fuck’s sake.

In the end, you opt for a sweater and a comfortable skirt. Casual. 

Yoongi rings your doorbell about ten minutes later than when he said he’d be there, holding a bag full of groceries. The visual alone makes you bite back a giggle and subsequently fail. You believe this is what people would call husband material.

You take his coat and guide him into your home. “Welcome to my humble abode,” you say shyly, gesturing around as you lead him into the kitchen to show him where everything is. Why are you acting like this? This isn’t you. If Taehyung or Jimin could see you right now, they would probably laugh. Hoseok would straight up be rolling on the floor.

You barely breathe as you watch Yoongi take in his surroundings. It’s intimidating, even though you know it’s just Yoongi. 

“I actually don’t know what I expected, but I like it. It’s very you,” he comments, smiling.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that it’s cute,” he says, throwing you a wink as he leans against your kitchen counter.

You avert your gaze immediately. “Oh… Thanks,” you reply, fiddling with the hem of your sweater. “So, uhm, what are you making? How can I help?”

“Just sit down. I got this.”

“Yoongi,” you say his name in protest. “I want to h-”

“I’m trying to romance you here. Let me do that,” Yoongi says, his smile turning lopsided as he starts emptying the contents of his grocery bags. Even though his tone is light, the gentle reminder of tonight being a date shuts you right up.

You take a seat at your dining table, though you can���t really sit still. As Yoongi starts working, you absentmindedly talk to each other about your day, about his campaign, about Seokjin’s album. At one point, you get up to creep over to his side when the smell of whatever he’s making becomes more prominent. You try to peek at the pot, curious, but he just shoos you away by bumping his hip against yours.

When you give him a small pout, you pretend not to notice the way his eyes dart to your mouth. You retract yourself from his personal space, choosing a spot on the other side of your kitchen island, staring at his back as he works.

You watch him expertly navigate your kitchen like he’s been here before. When he’s finished, he makes you sit down, not even letting you help bring the food to the table.

“What is it?” you ask once he’s settled in his seat, everything plated in front of you.

“Kimchi jjigae,” he says, a proud look on his face. “My mom’s recipe.”

It’s endearing, and it makes you smile.

For the most part, Yoongi lets you eat in peace, though there’s still a couple of flirtatious comments here and there. Every time it comes, you bite down on your bottom lip to try and snap out of that daze before you cough, as if that would help tone down the colors adorning your face. There’s no verbal response from you, and it seems like Yoongi doesn’t expect one either, because he just chuckles. You think he must notice the palpable nervousness that radiates off of you, but it’s not like you’re doing a very good job at hiding it.

You’re taking baby steps and he knows it. The fact that you even agreed to this at all is already major progress.

When you’re done eating, he clears the table while he asks you to open the expensive bottle of wine that he brought over. It does wonders for your nerves.

Three glasses in and you’re visibly more relaxed as you both sit on the couch in the living room, facing each other. There’s a small smile on your face that you can’t help, maybe it’s some of your inhibitions wearing off as a side effect of the alcohol. 

You glance around the room, and you take in the sight of Yoongi sitting here, this close to you. He feels bigger than your small world can handle.

“You know,” you start. If the wine didn’t make you more mellow, you probably wouldn’t be saying this. “There are thousands of people thirsting over you every day.”

Yoongi tilts his head, swirling the wine in his glass. “Really?”

“Don’t you look at the internet? I personally know two girls from college who are on the Yoongi Marry Me train,” you say matter-of-factly, like you aren’t borderline tipsy in front of him.

You aren’t an avid Twitter user, but every time you check the damn bird app, Yoongi is almost always trending. In every single one of his posts on social media, there is always an influx of comments asking him to marry them. Not only that, when word first got out about you collaborating with Agust D back then, people you knew - both old friends and acquaintances - practically bombarded your messages to see if it was true, and to ask if you could get them an autograph.

Yoongi stretches out his legs until they brush against yours. Your stomach flips even though it’s only your legs that are barely touching.

“The what train?”

“You seriously don’t know about the Yoongi Marry Me movement? Look it up. It’s a whole thing. People would do anything to, I don’t know, hold your hand or something.”

With an amused look on his face, he holds your gaze. “Would you?”

“What?”

“Would you do all of that just to hold my hand? Because you don’t have to, y’know.” He brings the wine glass to his lips, partially hiding his face from you, and you don’t know whether he’s doing it for your sake or his in preparation for the words he speaks next. “But I would do it to hold yours.”

You’re sure that your cheeks are burning bright, your stomach twisted in knots. It’s the wine, but it’s definitely the effect of his words too. You stare at Yoongi in surprise; no matter how many times he openly flirts with you, he’d still elicit the same reaction from you. It’ll be hard to get used to it. He just always seems to know what to say to make you blush like a schoolgirl, which you resent but you can’t deny the sparks of excitement that make your fingertips tingle.

Yoongi is smooth, and it’s even worse - or is it better? You haven’t decided yet - that you know he means every word he says. It makes you feel… wanted. It’s good to know that he’s being genuine, and to know that Yoongi isn’t the type of person who would ever pull the rug out from under you.

Yoongi is… stable.

You suppose, after everything you’ve been through, that stability is what you need. It’s good for you.

You try to swerve around the thoughts, to avoid them at all costs, but deep down you know now that they’re glaringly true.

That love is stored in two bags of groceries, so filled to the brim that some onions almost fall out. Love is stored in every flick of his wrist holding a knife, slicing the sharp blade across your cutboard. Clean cuts, yet he’s never this way when it comes to you.

Love is stored in a fond smile and adoring eyes when he sees how you cradle your expensive dishware like it’s a newborn baby before you set it carefully on the table.

Love is stored in a Yoongi-shaped silhouette, dancing over your countertops with practiced precision in every movement, filling in the cracks of your home. The love in him is reserved because you, like the moon when it crescents, still have a ways to go.

When he stands at your door an hour later with his coat in hand, you wait for him to speak first.

“Performance review?” he asks. “How did I do?”

“I… liked it. It was nice,” you say honestly. But you still feel the wine in your system, and it makes you bold enough to tease him for a change. “But it was my first date in a while, so it’s hard to tell if that opinion is objective.”

He rolls his eyes fondly. “Do I qualify for a second date then?”

You hum in thought, making him wait on purpose. “Yeah, I guess,” you say, feigning nonchalance, which earns you a hearty laugh.

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” he asks, hopeful.

“Don’t know yet,” you answer, though you’ll probably end up going home and catching up on a kdrama. “Are you coming in tomorrow?”

“Just in the morning. I have a shoot in the afternoon.” He shifts to lean his weight on his other leg, tipping his body closer to you. “But I can pick you up after.”

“Yeah? And where would we go?”

Yoongi shrugs in earnest. “Just drive around? Grab a bite?” he thinks out loud, tilting his head slightly to one side for emphasis. “I could take you to that popup store you mentioned.”

You quirk an eyebrow. “You would stand in line with me to buy a novelty mug?”

“Pretty sure we wouldn’t have to stand in line if I gave them a call,” he says, grinning. “One of the perks of the job, y’know.”

“Must be nice,” you laugh, then shift to lean just a tad closer to him. You look at him for a brief moment before you agree, “Yeah, okay.”

You and Yoongi stand there at the door, each of you on either side of the threshold. This would be an appropriate moment for a kiss, you think. That explosive first kiss, if this were a movie. Exhilaration courses through your veins. You feel it from your head to the tips of your fingers to your toes. The feeling is rendering you a mere teenager again. 

It’s exciting because it’s new. You have the entire book ahead of you, waiting to be written. At this point, anything could happen. You’re a blank canvas waiting to be drawn, a blank page hoping to be written. 

Wait.

Back up.

A kiss?

A kiss?!

With Yoongi?

You’re thinking about kissing Yoongi?!

Fuck.

Fuck?!

It’s the wine.

Your thoughts knock against each other like bumper cars, echoing loudly in your brain that it almost gives you a headache.

You stay still as Yoongi leans down, your heart racing while your brain just keyboard-smashes. You can’t tell if you want him to kiss you or not, but when he only presses his lips against your cheek, you feel two emotions at once.

The first is disappointment, the second is relief. They press down on you with almost equal force, and you’re not really sure which one weighs heavier.

Baby steps.

You blink when he pulls away, and he just smiles fondly at you as if he can read your mind.

“Goodnight, princess.”

You watch him until he’s in the elevator, until the doors close and the lift descends. Even when you know that he must be on his way to his car and that someone else is making their way up, you stand there, with your hand loosely wrapped around the door handle, your breathing slightly erratic as you process what just happened. 

Déjà vu? 

It’s oddly reminiscent.

You’ve been here before.

Part of you thinks he’ll burst through the elevator doors, or rush up the stairs if the lift is occupied, and come back to grab your face and kiss you senseless.

He doesn’t.

Jungkook knows you’re probably waiting for Yoongi.

He’s seen Yoongi pick you up after work almost daily over the past couple of weeks, and it’s driving him insane. Even on the days that Yoongi comes to the studio during the day, the guy is all over you, so much so that he doesn’t even bother being a nuisance to Jungkook anymore, which just makes him a thousand times more insufferable.

Something is happening.

He can’t weasel shit out of Jimin anymore because Jimin has been especially tight-lipped after accidentally spilling Yoongi’s confession to you.

Because that should be him in Yoongi’s place. Or should he say his place, and Yoongi is just a placeholder. An imposter.

Because it used to be him that you smiled shyly at.

Jimin’s words have been plaguing his every waking hour since he was forced to hear them. If she wants to choose Yoongi, let her do that too. It feels like he’s rewinding all of your memories, retracing them with cautious fingers only to find that his every footstep is being erased to make room for someone else.

An abandoned dirt road, while you walk down a flower-filled path holding someone else’s hand.

Like you’re stamping him out.

Like he was never there at all.

Not only are you denying him a chance, you’re giving it to someone else. When he tries to move at someone else’s pace, all he gets is left behind.

It’s not about Yoongi; or at least, it’s not just about him. Yoongi doesn’t even really matter to Jungkook in this equation. It’s about what Yoongi represents. An idea of a person that Jungkook can never be.

A bigger life. A stable present and an even brighter future. Yoongi is everything better than him.

And that’s his own problem to deal with, not anyone else’s. At the end of the day, no one has to live with his insecurities but himself.

But still, he can’t help it. Whenever he sees you with Yoongi, his eyes burn. Please don’t let him take my place, he wishes every time, you’re the only good thing about me.

It’s jealousy, sure, of course it’s there. 

But what if you realize what everyone else already knows? That Yoongi is better in every single way. That Yoongi is the person who really deserves you.

What if you start to see Jungkook the way he sees himself?

You hating him - despising him with every cell in your body - is a thousand times better than you deeming him unworthy.

“I talked to Jihyo,” he speaks up suddenly, when it’s only the two of you.

“Okay,” you answer, never taking your eyes off the page in front of you. You must have circled the words daisy a thousand times already, wracking your brain for anything that rhymes. “I don’t know why you’re telling me this, but good for you.”

At this point, you wonder if you should just avoid the studio for the time being. It’s empty here again. You resent Seokjin for drowning in concept photos. You resent Namjoon for leaving Jungkook here to fend for himself, but it’s only fair, because Namjoon was only supposed to give him a helping hand, not take over the whole thing. You even resent Yoongi a bit, for not being here right this second.

“I talked to her,” Jungkook says again, ignoring your sass. “She won’t give you a hard time anymore.”

This makes you look at him. You never asked him to do this. You never asked him to do anything. In fact, you have only ever implored him to sit still and leave things alone.

“She never gave me a hard time,” you say. Sure, you don’t appreciate being given the death glare first thing in the morning, but it’s not something that you can’t ignore. It doesn’t actively affect you, and the only reason Jihyo does it is because of Jungkook.

Because he broke things off with her?

Because he gives you more attention?

Ugh. Attention?

This is the stupidest and most childish thing you have had to think about in ages.

“You said she acts differently toward you.”

“And aren’t you the reason why?” you counter. “Because you two were fucking?”

Jungkook visibly winces at your words, like he did when you mentioned it the first time in the break room. You don’t mean to be snarky; you’re just stating the facts. They were hooking up. 

You don’t harbor any ill will toward any of his past lovers, and that includes Jihyo. You know she doesn’t have anything against you either, at least not on a personal level because you don’t know each other well enough to do so. She’s just someone you pass by every day on your way to the elevator.

“So why did things end?” you ask just for the sake of it, since he was the one who brought it up. But you’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious.

He hesitates for a moment. “She wanted something more and it wasn’t the same for me.”

It’s stupid that the tiny voice in the back of your head resurfaces, hoping that you were the reason why he couldn’t pursue things with another woman.

Jihyo isn’t you, that much is clear. You never asked for anything more from him, not once from start to finish. He was always the first one to pour love into you. It’s arguable which one of you loved the other more - maybe you loved each other equally, just in different ways - but it was a fact that Jungkook always took the initiative. He made the first move so you wouldn’t have to. He gave you the option to match his affection, and never have to worry about being left out to dry.

He took initiative, right until the very end.

You bite your bottom lip, then give him a curt response, “Okay.”

Your phone vibrates with a text from Yoongi but you don’t open it just yet. You look at Jungkook, who only looks back at you. His lips part slightly as he searches for the right words, or any word at all. It’s like you’re asking him to navigate a minefield when all he has to do is be honest. Even if he told you that he fell out of love with you, it wouldn’t be that bad. You would be hurt, yes, but you wouldn’t blame him. You would understand. It would be a reason.

Silence fills the room, save for the continuous tapping of your pen on paper.

He says your name, pleading. “I’m trying here.”

At Jimin’s party, Jungkook said you were someone important to him. You don’t doubt that he meant it, and that’s what infuriates you the most. You’re important, but he keeps running circles around you and making your head spin. You’re important, but everything he’s done makes you think that you’re the opposite. You’re important, just not important enough to get an explanation.

You know he’s genuine about everything he says, but that’s not enough. You can’t sustain yourself on just his words alone.

It’s another cycle of the same conversation, running over and over and over again. He’s reaching out but he’s holding back. You’re still getting nowhere. You don’t know how many times he has to make you ask this, only to not give you any clarity at all.

If there is a trait of Jungkook’s that you both love and hate at the same time, it is that he doesn’t know when to quit.

He texts you every day even when you don’t reply - one for good morning, and one for goodnight. He gets you a chai latte every day, which doesn’t do shit for your concentration because there’s not enough caffeine in it. He gets the door for you whenever you go into the same room together. He hounds your every waking moment. He makes sure that he’s the first thing you see when you wake up, and the last thought that crosses your mind before you go to sleep.

I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.

You suppose this is him, showing up again. In a lot of ways, it’s selfish. But it’s an effort too. Now your phone is full of meaningless messages that remain unread.

You barely glance at him. It’s routine at this point. He tries in ways that you don’t bother acknowledging anymore, because you figured that the best course of action is to let him wear himself out.  When he has had enough of it, when he deems his efforts to be enough to absolve his guilt, he’ll stop. He has to.

But at what point does it stop?

At what point will you stop wanting to give in to him? Your mind rages wars with itself every time you feel his eyes on you, and you have to kill the urge to not turn your head and look at him too. At what point will you stop wanting to go to him and let him in again? At what point will you stop unconsciously making him a priority?

All of this, you supposed, is to say: Do you still love him?

You know that if you sit down and get to the root of it, you’ll find an answer you don’t like. Even in this moment, you want him to tell you just a fraction of the truth, because that would probably be enough to reel you back in.

Your own heart claws at your chest but this is how it has to be for a while. All you can do is take it one day at a time, gently nudge your heart in one direction like a child that needs to be goaded, until he doesn’t live on the forefront of your mind anymore.

Until someone else does.

“No, you’re not.” You stand up then, closing your notebook with more force than necessary. “If you’re really trying, then I wouldn’t still be wondering why I wasn’t enough to make you stay.”

Even then, you’re still hoping that he’d say something else. But when you’re only met with silence, the anticipated disappointment in you bubbles, boiling. His reluctance to clue you in makes it easier for you to decide.

There's someone else who's willing to give you things that you don't even need to ask for.

In your mind, it's clear who you should choose.

Jungkook clenches his teeth, holding his breath as he watches you shove your things into your bag. “Are you going home?” he asks after a minute.

You could say yes and let the conversation die a swift and simple death. But for some reason, you choose to kill it violently. You bite the inside of your cheek before you tell him, “I don’t know. Yoongi’s picking me up.”

The chagrinned look that takes over his features for a split second is one that you immediately catch. Maybe it’s because he wants to make sure you know how he feels about this, or maybe you still have a way of reading him somehow. Regardless of what his face tells you, he doesn’t prod any further.

Your phone vibrates on the table, the sound ten times more thunderous amidst the silence that’s befallen the both of you. You don’t need to check the screen to know who’s calling, and neither does he. When you leave, the sound of your fading footsteps ricochets off the walls. It shoots right through him.

He hears every word of that conversation ringing in his ears then. He recalls that afternoon’s sunset; it was the most beautiful sunset he saw that year, despite the sun overhead mocking him with every magnificent glint of light. He sees the look on your face when his words finally register in your mind, the Oh moment when you understood what he was saying, when the smile you wore sunk helplessly to the floor because even though you knew that love had an expiration date, you hoped your love would be the exception. 

That memory fades, only to be replaced by something much worse. He sits there with Jimin’s words, echoing in his mind, reverberating around the room.

Technically, you and Yoongi haven’t been on a second date. You think.

You’ve seen him almost every night since the dinner, when he picks you up at the studio. Sometimes, you two just drive around. Sometimes, you sit by the river in the cold, eating hot ramen cups and giggling over nothing. Sometimes, he just takes you straight to your home if he has a packed schedule the next day.

These days, you see Yoongi even more than you see Taehyung. Even though he hasn’t explicitly implied that any of these outings is a date, you know you aren’t hanging out as just friends anymore.

It feels good to be wanted. The feeling is reinforced tenfold because it’s been so long that it’s like you’re experiencing it for the first time in a new body, as a different person.

But even after all of that, you two can still go back to being friends like nothing ever happened. Because in a way, maybe nothing did happen. Maybe things have always been like this between you, the only difference is now you’re noticing the meaning behind his words and glances.

You two can still go back, because technically, no line has been crossed.

But tonight, something feels different. It’s colder, but Yoongi keeps you warm with all the looks he’s been giving you all night.

It feels like you’re both toeing that line right now. 

You know that once you cross it, things can’t revert back to the way they were anymore.

You know that it will happen eventually, because Yoongi isn’t doing this just to half-ass it. He won’t back out, and he has made it crystal clear from the start. 

Usually, this is the part where he tells you goodnight and you have to pretend not to freak out when he kisses you on the cheek in goodbye.

He takes a step closer, you take no step back. 

“You know what I’m about to do, right?”

You do. You could say you’re even hopeful.

“I might have an idea…”

“Okay,” he says easily. He takes your waist in his hands and brings you closer. The way the corner of his mouth tugs upward tells you that he’s pleased, that you know what’s about to come and you’re letting it happen. Still, he asks, “Can I?”

You nod. That glowing sensation washes over you in waves.

“Words, princess,” he reminds you. 

Your hands land on the lapel of his coat. “Yes, you can.”

He chuckles, and squeezes you a little tighter. 

Then it happens.

The line you clumsily drew in the sand has been erased.

Yoongi is kissing you.

You’re kissing him back. 

He’s soft and warm and he holds you like you’re delicate. His sincerity, you can feel it in his kiss, and it’s only a fraction of it. Regardless, there is still life that blooms this winter. Inside of you, small and fragile, but it’s there.

You sigh into his mouth, feeling completely limbless if not for him holding your body upright. One of his arms wounds itself tighter around your middle while his other hand tucks your hair behind your ear so he could cup your cheek more easily. Yoongi tilts his head further to one side to deepen the kiss. You feel something in his kiss that you have never heard in his words, something soft and pleading. Wanting but still contained. Out of fear that you might run away, perhaps? You can’t blame him though. You are a bit of a flight risk.

The wind dances past like a nosy bystander, pressing you further into him like it wants you to be more sure in the way you move, in how much of yourself you’re willing to give to him. Instead, the cold just makes you shiver.

When you break away, his hand on your face moves to hold the back of your head. Yoongi doesn’t look half as flushed as you think you do, though his cheeks are slightly rosy.

Through a thin veil of clouds, the moon still shines down on his profile. 

The chill in the air, the mesmerizing view of moonlight dancing across his features, and most of all, the way you’re still lost in the kiss, in the feeling of being wanted.

“C’mon, I’ll walk you up,” he says, after you stay silent for a beat too long, hooded eyes basking in the warmth of a heart chasing your own. You want to want him. You do want him, but there’s still something missing. It doesn’t feel entirely right, but for now, you try not to dwell on it too much. Just let it be. Maybe in time, that void will inevitably fill.

Yoongi holds your hand through the lobby and on the whole way up even if neither of you says anything, just shy glances in the elevator and bashful half-hidden smiles. You don’t invite him in once you get to your door - because an invite now insinuates something that you just aren’t ready for - but he does kiss you again. If the kiss you shared downstairs is a proper goodnight kiss, then this one means see you later and doesn’t last half as long, but it makes you tingle just the same.

He pulls back, only to dive in again, and again, and again, until one chaste kiss turns into five and you have to push him away with a giggle so you can breathe.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, eyes still set on your mouth. “Couldn’t help myself.”

“Yoongi,” you say, a little breathily, like oxygen hasn’t sufficiently made its way into your lungs since downstairs.

He rests his forehead against yours. “You’ve never said my name like that before,” he sighs.

“Like what?”

“Like you want me to kiss you again.”

You tug your bottom lip between your teeth and pretend to consider this even though you know you would like to be kissed again. “Maybe I do,” you say after a beat, bravely. “Just one more.”

He gives you your final kiss of the night then, one that lasts a second longer than the others, like he’s trying to memorize how you taste.

You head in once Yoongi is out of sight. You lean your body against the door the second you snap the lock shut. You touch your lips lightly, reliving those moments again even though they happened mere seconds ago. You’re buzzing with excitement like a schoolgirl, every feeling coursing through your body all at once. 

You’re familiar with this. It’s the stage right before every love song you listen to suddenly reminds you of that one person.

You go through your regular evening routine with a pep in your step, thanks to a certain person tonight. You take off your carefully applied makeup and take a nice, hot shower. You think the heat would help melt away the high that you’re riding - like you’ve had too much coffee to drink and now your senses are beyond heightened - but it doesn’t. Once you’re fresh and comfortable in your PJs, you still feel that jittery feeling seeping through your pores, keeping you awake. There’s a message from Yoongi that tells you he has made it home safely.

It’s still early, and you’re far too restless to go to bed. You decided to brew yourself a mug of chamomile tea, even though you don’t even like chamomile and you can’t remember why you even have it, but they say that apparently chamomile is good for sleep. You decide to take the mug into the living room to sort through your mini mountain of mail that should’ve been dealt with days ago.

Sitting underneath that pile of junk mail and letters addressed to the previous tenant even though you’ve lived here for nearly two years, is a cream-colored card addressed to you. The material feels smooth under your fingertips, like velvet if that’s even possible. Inside, there are two names - one you recognize and another you don’t - typed out in a fancy calligraphy font and encircled by pretty flowers, all pinks and whites and romantic.

The saccharine sensation associated with the thought of Yoongi dissipates instantly. Instead, your mind blanks, only to buzz to life again momentarily with a newfound sinking feeling dragging you down.

You suddenly realize that Jungkook hasn’t crossed your mind once tonight. Not until now. That crestfallen look in his eyes from the other night appears in your mind again, clear as day.

You are, quite literally, holding someone’s declaration of love and yet, it’s not joy that you feel, having been asked to join them on their special day. 

You never thought you would see Jungkook’s family again - even though you always adored his parents and you felt that they loved you too - let alone receive an invitation to his brother’s wedding.

remember when y'all said u wanted a wedding?? well u didn't say whose wedding 😌

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted march 27, 2023]

[besamehyuka]

Test My Strength

Warning: Mild Violence: Smacking

This has smut meaning it has sex in it. If you don't like it, then don't read! Simple!

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just bend you over and take what's mine y/n?" Changbin growled, his large and veiny hands gripping your ass as his threats were clear but falling on deaf ears.

You didn't know why he was acting so dramatic, you did nothing wrong, in-fact all you had done was be nice every member, not just Felix. But for right now though, all you had done was played video games with Felix, there was absolutely no reason for your muscled boyfriend to be punishing you at this moment.

You rolled your eyes and continued fiddling with the bright pink controller in your hands, Felix's eyes popping out of his head as he swallowed, not wanting to be in the center of any relationship dilemma, he began to get up, walking towards to the door just as Changbin stopped him.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bin asked, drawing out a loud and clear growl from the back of his throat, long and guttural.

"Um, well i was going to go to my room, it sounded like you two needed some time alone..." Felix responded honestly, biting his lip trying to calm the situation down by leaving.

"No, I'll go with you Fel-"

Just as you were about to get up and head out with Felix, Changbin grabs you by your thighs and slams you on your back, causing a gust of wind to leave your lungs, making your eyes widen huge in comparison to what they were before.

Changbin was strong you knew that, but he had never used his strength on you like this, it made you wonder, what did you do that made him so upset, and how could you do it again?

"You like when you ignore your daddy and give all your precious attention to a man that doesn't even want you, huh?" He asks, cupping your face in his hands before leaving a harsh smack across your pretty cheek and he smirks, loving the way he senses how turned on you are by this.

Your panties are dripping and you're just dying to just get them off, god, the way Changbin's looking at you made you want to act up more. But right now, you had no idea what you did.

His eyes are accumulated in anger, his happiness is worn away and his giddiness is completely gone with pure bred anger, he's a completely different person. A demon even.

He notices how much you enjoy being manhandled so he decides to take it up a notch, lifting you up in his strong arms, tugging your bottoms off in one quick motion, he growls and slaps you again in pure frustration.

"So, was MY baby planning on fucking him, hmm? Was MY baby planning on using my best friend for her pleasure?" He asks, but deep down he knows you would never use another man, he's just deprived of your attention, and now he just wants to get to the main course.

He lifts you up above his head and pins you to the wall harshly, not wasting anytime before devouring your sweet clit, slurping and making loud wet sucking sounds. Filling the room with his talented tongue skills and your moans, making sure you knew who you belonged to.

And god, did you know without a doubt.

"Fuck Binnie!" You cried out, trying to reach for his hair, for his shoulders, for his back, for anything, but you couldn't, all you could grab onto was the wall behind you, scratching at the paint, your nails acting as paint thinner.

Changbin didn't care, all he needed to do was remind you of who you belonged to, and damn it was he doing a good job. His tongue working like magic on your folds as you screamed, surely waking everyone up in the dorms, but you could care less.

What was going on in-between your thighs was your main priority, and with a final show of just how strong he was, Changbin began to rock you back and forth against his tongue, hitting spots you never knew were possible.

With a gasp and a scream you came, and as soon as you came to you realized, Felix had never even left the room, instead he was standing in the corner watching the scene onfold.

"Now.... I hope you know who you belong to, and as for you Felix, did you enjoy the show. Because that's all you will be seeing." Bin said with a possessive tone, glaring at the younger boy, taking his que, Felix darted out of the room.

"Binnie! i wasn't-"

"Now now princess, you don't think it's over do you? The floor and bed are completely dry, i think we can change that, don't you?"

[thebeast-dennis-etcetera]

An Unlikely Pair

Your knee bounced up and down in nervousness as you waited for news in the little lobby. A little trembling chihuahua was on the left of you and a 3 legged Dalmatian on your right. It seemed to be a busy day for sure at the clinic as even more clients started coming in.

“Y/N?” the vet tech called from the door. You stood up and followed her as she led you to another little room where the vet and the little kitten you found this morning waited.

“How is she?” you asked. When you had dropped her off, she was absolutely filthy, barely breathing and couldn’t open her eyes. Had you not decided to go for a run this morning, you never would’ve found her. You figured some horrible person must have abandoned her there. Now, she looked completely different. Her bright fluffy orange coat was clean and her green eyes were alert.

“She’s good now. Just needed a good bath, warmth and a little food. She’s got a couple scratches on her face but those will heal with time. You said you found her in a park?”

“Yeah. I took a morning run and heard meowing from the bushes. She was tucked all the way in the back, I honestly thought she wasn’t gonna make it.”

“Well cats are pretty resilient. Were you planning on keeping her?”

You thought about the question and knew the dilemma. Jethro was not a cat guy. He loves dogs, doesn’t mind plants, but definitely doesn’t like cats. But if you didn’t take her, she would just end up at the shelter.

“We do have an onsite shelt-

“No, I’ll keep her,” you impulsively blurted out.

Crap, Jethros gonna kill you.

————

You sat on the couch watching tv when you heard Jethro come home. Quickly, you threw the blanket over the kitten in your lap.

“Hey hun. Dinners in the oven, you just gotta heat it up.”

He came over and gave you a kiss before going into the kitchen and preparing his food. Upset that she was being smothered, she let out a small meow. You just turned up the volume slightly on the tv. You at least wanted Jethro to eat before you broke the news to him.

Once he heated everything up and sat at the table to eat, the kitten let out another meow.

“What was that?” he asked, looking around.

“The tv,” you lied smoothly.

Thankfully, the kitten decided not to make any more noise while Jethro finished eating and cleaned his plate.

“So you’ll never believe how my day has been going,” you started. “I was going for a morning run because I wanted to see if I could beat my personal best, which by the way, I’ve come to the conclusion that I could probably beat Torres in a foot pursuit. And as I passed by that park over on Downey St, I heard something crying.”

Jethro stood in front of you, drying his hands with the kitchen towel, attention now fully on you as he listened, making you nervous.

“Normally I wouldn’t investigate a weird noise at the park, especially because you could find a person sleeping in the bushes or some rabid raccoon, or-

“Sweetheart, you’re rambling. What did you find?” he pressed, wanting to speed the conversation up.

Instead of explaining, you just pulled the blanket back and showed him the little ball of fur. She looked around before seeing Jethro and pulled her ears back in displeasure before giving him a tiny hiss.

“No,” was all he said before walking off to the bedroom. You put the kitten down on the couch and followed him.

“Honey wait. I know you dont like cats but this one is so cute. And I rescued her. I couldn’t just leave her there to die. And I couldn’t give her away to the shelter. Who knows if she ever would’ve found a home.”

He stopped at the stairs and turned to you.

“She’s already up to date on vaccines, the litter box will be in the laundry room, and she’s so tiny you won’t even know she’s there. Please Jet,” you pleaded.

He sighed and you knew right then, you already won.

“If she scratches up anything, she’s out,” he threatened.

You beamed with joy and wrapped your arms around his neck in a hug.

“You’ll come to love her, you’ll see.”

————

It was a love/hate relationship between the little orange cat and Jethro. Mostly because every time Jethro tried to get close to her or you, she would give him a swat and hiss. She loved messing with him and knocking all of his stuff off the shelves when he accidentally left the basement door open. There has been multiple times that he’s had to pick up broken jars fulls of bolts and nuts off the floor. The only love part of the relationship is for you when he sees how happy she makes you.

The sound of Jethros heavy footsteps coming up the stairs woke you up from your sleep. Looking at your phone, the time read 2am. You didn’t move from your spot as he came in quietly and got changed.

“You’re gonna have to move your little gargoyle out of the way,” you heard him grumble after a minute. Smiling, you turned on your side and saw your kitten giving Jethro a glare that might equal his own.

“Just tell her to move hun.”

“She doesn’t listen. Something you two have in common.”

Rolling your eyes playfully, you picked up irritated kitten and brought her to the other side of the bed so Jethro could get in.

————

Pulling into your driveway, you parked right behind Jethro’s truck and made your way to the house. As you opened the door, you were greeted with a little bouquet of flowers and a little note that read Welcome Home. You smiled at his sloppy writing and figured he was down in the basement building that boat of his, so you dropped your bags by the couch and walked downstairs.

What you saw, you weren’t expecting at all. Jethro was busy vice gripping different parts of the boat while his furry nemesis laid lazily on top, watching him curiously.

“How was your mother’s?” he asked, grabbing a tool right next to your kitten who didn’t even make a move to swat or hiss at him.

“Uh, it was nice. Got to see Dad’s newest addition to his pocket watch collection.”

He chuckled as you walked over and gave him a long hug.

“When did you two become friends?” you inquired, pulling back and motioning towards the small feline.

“She climbed the living room curtains and got stuck. Ever since I helped her, she won’t leave me alone,” he explained.

“Awe, she connected with you. You’re her savior honey,” you teased, watching as Jethro reached out to pet her and she accepted it happily while purring.

“Yeah well next time she decides to use our curtains as a vine, I’m not saving her.”

You laughed and gave him a kiss. You knew sooner or later, he would warm up to her.

Note: I purposely didn’t give the cat a name because I wanted to leave that up to the reader but gave it a color because I just feel like Gibbs and orange tabbys have the same vibe. 😂

[luckyshinyhunter]

Fictional characters that definitely deserved better

💪Jen Walters (She-Hulk: Attorney at law)💪

She-Hulk is one of those shows I enjoyed because of the vibes, no surprise that a bunch of dudebros were doing their usual hate on the MCU crap again, especially going after this show.

I like how the show made Jennifer relatable and likable from the start, Tatiana did such a amazingly performance as the titular character along with matching her sassiness and wit like she have in the comics.

The possibilities of She-Hulk season 2 are slim to none, but I still have hope of Jen coming back in the future.

🛩️Andy Demayo (Steven Universe)🛩️

Even though he was kinda rude in his debut episode, but honestly, you would be confused and angry too if you see a bunch of strangers in your barn.

Besides Greg and the residents at Beach City, he rarely calls out Steven's dangerously daily lifestyle with the gems and shows that he cares about his recently known nephew.

After Gem harvest, he resolved the bittered distance and continue visiting his family, even showing at Garnet's wedding.

It was kind of a waste that Future didn't give him anything important to add, he would connect and helped Steven's dilemma with the fear of change, similar to his.

Also a hilarious fun fact, Andy's VA is Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

🐁Splinter (TMNT 2012)🐁

Honestly one of the most tragic characters in the show, from a broken man who lost everything, to a loving and protecting father who found a new lease on life, along with a family that care for each other to the very end.

He can be strict but he does care about his family and would die fighting for them, he literally died to save them and would do it again if he have to.

Hoon Lee's electrifying portrayal speaks for itself and the critical juncture of his past that parallels him and Shredder is another reason why the show is underrated.

I hate the backlash that this character has been getting and that people are labeling him as a bad father but he's not, the show literally has moments of him caring and protecting his family from danger.

🕸️Miles Morales (Spider-Man)🕸️

Without a doubt, Miles is one of the best Spider-Man characters of all. Pretty disgusting that people are using with the whole Miles Morales is Miles Morales crap to hate on a character that brings a new meaning for a iconic role model for kids.

Into and Across the Spider-verse done a outstanding job, making Miles's personal journey and growth so emotional and inspiring.

Sucks that the third film is going to take a long time to premiere, but at least the PS4 games also give him justice and continues shining Miles.

Miles Morales will forever be one of the best Spider-man, it just sucks that some people won't accept him continuously, but in some way at least there's some people who actually respect him as a character, knowing that he is in forever will be Spider-Man and that makes it him amazing.

📋Lois Lane (My Adventures with Superman)📋

My Adventures with Superman is a show that should be talked about especially on how well written it is, the show adapted Lois very well, along with her budding romance with Clark.

I literally hated how Lois gets treated like garbage by a certain amount of people after the whole secret identity thing, the show does prove that Lois is flawed and complex in a good way, making her likable and relatable, she makes mistakes but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing, everyone does.

The latest episode of season 2 really proves that Lois is a good character, showing her empathetic past and complicated relationship with her dad.

Also, Alice Lee's fun performance as the character is just top notch, whether she's happy or sad, she just nails Lois's character without a doubt.

🧬Morty Smith (Rick and Morty)🧬

This boy has been through enough, with neglectful parents, a sister that does care about him but is focused on her own life, Rick cares sometimes, but can be a real jerk. Morty is more you can be his own person the truth is some things can be holding him back, mostly his grandfather.

I'm glad that Rick is trying to change for the better, I remember I hated the way he treated Morty thoughout the seasons whether using verbal or physical abuse, it also sucks when he tried to do something good yet the universe basically just throws it back at him like a giant middle finger.

I'm glad that the later seasons proves that Morty could be a badass and he can handle himself, but I hope when the new season drops, they find a way to handle his trauma because he deserves a hug.

🎳Wade Whipple (The Sonic franchise)🎳

The Sonic films are underrated but it's problem is that it gets dunked on, especially thanks to a so-called outside of the box thinker.

But unlike the other live action films with bland and boring human characters, the human characters in Sonic are actually likable and memorable, among them is Wade Whipple.

I really don't think he's one of the worst characters in Sonic, honestly his sister and dad deserves to be on that list.

Honestly people hate him just because he have more screen time than Knuckles but one, because it's a TV show budget and Knuckles is in the show, they are acting like he never was in the show.

Two, at least it added layers and flaws that made him even more relatable and serves a purpose to Knuckles's journey.

Like with Tom and Maddie with Sonic, his friendship with Knuckles is another core example of why Knuckles work and his actor, Adam Pally's performance was great too.

🔪Sam Carpenter (Scream 5 and 6)🔪

Sam is another character that deserves more attention and respect than before, partially thanks to her actress.

Aside her rough past and learning the dark truth about her family, Sam cares about the people she loves and isn't afraid to fight for them, even fighting her own personal demons just to do so.

Melissa Barrera is a underrated actress, though Her performance in part 5 was good, I think she was just basically outperformed by everyone else, and it didn't help that she was getting bullied and criticize by bunch of toxic fans.

Scream 6 gave Sam justice and proves that she's a badass final girl, especially thanks to the crew and cast of the films who care and was there for her but thanks to a certain company that fire her for doing the right thing, what's the point of even watching Scream 7 without her and the core four but the good thing is at least it gave her and Sam a bittersweet ending.

🐝Chloe Bourgeois (Miraculous Ladybug)🐝

This one is a completely personal rant, I used to be a fan Miraculous. But after watching the season 3 finale, I feel like the magic of the show just basically disappeared, and seasons 4 and 5 was a huge sign that the show fully gone off the rails.

I remember hating Chloe in the first season and I'm pretty sure everyone else felt the same feeling too, but season 2 actually did the the most surprising thing, actually gave her some character development.

It might be baby steps but still development, she might have been spoiled and selfish sometimes but they actually do show that she has flaws.

Malediktator was one of the best episodes of season 2, they were able to showcase Chloe's vulnerability and it prove that she can change and still be a useful ally like the other miraculous holders.

She protected her friend from getting akumatized again, she almost got Mayura's miraculous, and heck, She literally defied Hawkmoth's control, unlike the other akumatized victims, that is basically spells hero-worthy.

But of course as always, Thomas is just too spiteful and that thinks that Chloe is not just worthy and replaced her with a bland, forgettable and useless character who only exists just because she is "better" than Chloe.

It's honestly just pathetic that her corrupt father who spoils her and the literal villain of the show, who done some horrible and awful things get a redemption arc, but a literal misunderstood child doesn't, it just proves that the writer's room just don't even know how to handle character development nor redemption arcs.

It's even more sad that the film actually treats Chloe better than the show does.

The truth is whether do you like or don't like Chloe, it's possible that she can change, it's just that Thomas is the actual problem of the show, I hope one day somehow Chloe might actually get a actual chance to shine as a character again but maybe in the future it could still could happen.

[freeuselandonorris]

omfg your vore fic is life changing. hell yeah to stigmatized weird af kinks ❤️ since you’re so good at character kink psychology, i’ll throw another one in the ring for fun - thoughts on inflation? i’ve never seen it in f1 except one fic that had it i’m pretty sure unintentionally lmao

also congrats on accidentally solving an f1 dilemma: if the drivers vore each other, there are more seats left open for young drivers to join 😅

oh anon!! first, THANK YOU and i’m so glad you liked the vore fic — i was honestly shocked at what a great reception got, but i’m really fucking delighted that people like it. hell yeah INDEED to the stigmatised kink rep! and lmaoooo maybe oscar should let the FIA know about that one too, it would sure solve a lot of problems 🤔

now, inflation! this one was WAY out of my comfort zone and i have done a lot of interesting reading today instead of doing my job! there are so many facets to it and you didn’t specify a preference, so i went with liquid inflation as this scenario came to me pretty naturally — i honestly have no idea if i’ve hit the sweet spot (ahem) with this as i was so unfamiliar with it, but i definitely awoke something in myself writing it lmao. i hope you enjoy :)

sort of one-sided landoscar, but in the context of an established relationship. cw for liquid inflation (eta because i wrote this in a rush: to clarify, it’s fantasy-based, not actual inflation), curve worship, fantasised helplessness (although all fully consensual).

Oscar’s not built like any other driver Lando’s seen.

He’s strong, obviously. Stronger than Lando is, that’s for sure. But he’s also — shaped. He’s got an arse some of the underwear models of Lando’s acquaintance (or, well, former acquaintance) would be jealous of. Little waist, but his belly pushes out against the fabric of his fireproofs. The soft mounds of his tits, firm muscle covered in a light layer of flesh that Lando likes to squeeze. 

Oscar’s shy about his body too, in a way Lando finds slightly odd given how they’re all used to being manhandled and grabbed by their physios, engineers, sometimes the fans when the security in the paddock is lacking. Keeps himself covered up in shorts and T-shirts until the very last minute, even when they’re fucking. Averts his eyes from his own body, preferring instead to focus on Lando’s. 

It’s not that Oscar hates his body or anything, as far as Lando can tell; he’s just used to seeing it only as an object of function, not something to be desired. Even though Lando thinks he’s gorgeous, could spend hours worshipping every soft and furred camber of his strong thighs and broad chest. 

Lando doesn’t know how to tell him that, express how much he loves Oscar’s curves. He tries to show it instead, spends snatched hours between free practice sessions mapping out Oscar’s body with his hands and tongue. 

He daydreams about it sometimes, the words he’d use to explain it. That there isn’t enough of Oscar to contain all of the desire Lando wants to stuff him with. That he wants more of Oscar to worship. 

It’s something he’s always known about himself, ever since he was a kid. But it’s never been as intense as it is around Oscar. Pale, soft Oscar, all hair and solid heft, his blurred edges and the sweet flush of his skin.

Probably Oscar wouldn’t mind it if Lando admitted it to him. He’s never minded anything else. But this one feels risky, somehow — a raw and vulnerable thing to express. 

Still, he wants Oscar to know, somewhere underneath it all; he must do, because he slips up, sometimes. Just in small ways. 

It had been bad in Qatar. Lando had been half-delirious anyway, staggered back into the garage after media to see Oscar propped up against the central island in the garage, hungrily sucking water from the long straw of his drinks bottle. Eyes closed in bliss, throat working as he swallowed, swallowed, swallowed. 

His racesuit hung limp from his hips. Above it, Oscar’s swollen belly curved from the fabric, full and distended. Feverish, Lando told himself he could see the stretch of it, the skin taut and bouncy as a drumskin beneath his sweat-soaked fireproofs. His hands had twitched with the effort of not reaching out to check.

“Thirsty?” he’d said, smiling, trying to make a joke of it. Trying to keep his eyes on Oscar’s face and failing, drawn to the curve of his stomach like it was exerting its own gravitational pull. “Careful, you can fuck yourself up if you drink too much water.”

Oscar had slow-blinked at him, like a cat trying to make friends, left the mouthpiece of the straw resting on his bottom lip when he answered. “Kim put electrolytes in it.”

Lando had nodded, swallowed. His own mouth watered in sympathy. 

“Keep going, then,” he’d said, and Oscar had smiled, sucked the straw back into his plush mouth and continued to drink.

The memory still does it for Lando, even now, months later. 

He could have taken Oscar back to his room, their bodies still salty and aching. Let him curl up on his side on top of the cool sheets of Lando’s bed, let Lando fill his bottle to the brim with cool water and stir in electrolyte powder. Kneel at the side of the bed and feed the nozzle back into his mouth, stroke the damp hair back from his temples, let it curl around his fingers as Oscar sucks and sucks. 

His stomach would stretch, round and tight as a ball, one smooth convex curve from ribs to hips. The inward dip of his waist hidden, overwritten by the surge of flesh. 

He’d let Lando crawl onto the bed behind him, spoon Oscar’s growing body, one arm tucked beneath his armpit to hold the straw in place. Lando would slip a hand beneath his T-shirt, peeling the fabric back so he could rub soothing circles over the bulging skin. Undo his straining jeans, the zipper sliding down of its own accord from the pressure. Say something like that’s it, Osc, you’re doing so so well. Oscar would press back against him, shuddering, body lax and lush. Moaning when Lando’s hand skims his swollen nipples, cock slipping between the fat globes of his arse. Oscar’s got a nice fat cock too, a plump handful. He’d press it up against Oscar’s belly, tend to him as he lay helpless and swollen, suckling trance-like at the straw still held between his lips. 

Here, let me help you with this, Lando would say to the shell of Oscar’s ear, squeezing his cock. It’ll take the pressure off. His big belly pressing Lando’s hand into the bed, barely able to rock his hips into the answering push of Lando’s hand.

He’d come like that, spilling over himself, letting Lando push his soaked fingers into his mouth and swallowing that down too. Part his lips and say more, please, eyes blank and lidded with pleasure. Lie patient and limpid while Lando scrambled off the bed and round, taking out his own cock and pushing it against Oscar’s hungry, suckling tongue, filling him impossibly more.

That’s what tips him over, spilling into the clutch of his own palm: the thought of Oscar swallowing down everything he has to give. His come the final straw, stretching the skin almost to breaking point. Oscar’s eyes closing in bliss, sleepy and sated, unable to move.

Lando keeps his eyes closed for a long time once the aftershocks have subsided, unwilling to let go of the fantasy. Finally opens his eyes, staring at the unfamiliar hotel ceiling. Outside, the dull thump of bass from the party yachts berthed along Yas Marina filters through.

He sighs, struggles to sit up, goes to wash his hands. The room is all meagre angles, cold metal and sharp, mean corners. He curls his hands into fists, feeling the emptiness inside them.

Back in the bedroom, he sits down on the edge of the bed with his phone, tabbing to his message history with Oscar. 

How would u feel if i told u about something u might find gross, he sends before he can chicken out. 

Oscar replies almost immediately, like he knows Lando’s waiting, nervous.  About yourself? Literally nothing could surprise me anymore.

Promise u won’t get mad or tell me im a freak? Lando sends back.

Try me, Oscar replies. Then, immediately after: Well, not unless you want me to, anyway. 

Lando smiles, chewing his bottom lip. Come to my room after debrief and i’ll tell u in person.

Oscar heart-reacts the message. He definitely knows Lando needs reassurance; usually he uses the thumbs-up. Lando pockets his phone, stretches the kinks from his back and goes out to the balcony, letting the last vestiges of sun warm his skin. That’s the funny thing about Oscar. Whatever love Lando has to give him, however strange its shape, he’ll always find a way to make it fit.

---

ps even though this ends on a slightly ambiguous note due to its one-sidedness, it does of course take place in my landoscar kink shared universe and so, in case anyone is worried, oscar did indeed react with a shrug and "okay, cool" and fire up "i have an inflation kink, AMA" on reddit :)

[fallenrocket]

Because La Máquina marks the first time in over a decade that Gael García Bernal and Diego Luna have teamed up onscreen in live-action, it’s understandable that a lot of the marketing, and fans’ excitement, have centered around seeing them act together, with pretty much every interview they’ve done for the show highlighting their friendship. We even got to see them taking on Bert and Ernie in a battle of the best friends! (Big, big thank you to whoever dreamed up that one!)

That lifelong friendship is felt onscreen through their interactions as Esteban and Andy, but not necessarily in the way you’d expect. Because really, Andy and Esteban probably spend about 80% of their scenes together arguing. And they come by it honestly–after a 20-year working relationship complicated by money and strained by addiction issues and lies, both are also dealing with a lot of personal stuff when a gigantic bomb is dropped into their laps. As the Otras Personas extort Esteban into throwing his final fight, Andy is genuinely regretful but also doesn’t want to be blamed too directly, and Esteban is thrown completely off-kilter by this stunning, devastating revelation. It’s a lot to put on a friendship, and theirs wasn’t on the most solid ground to begin with.

So they argue. They fight over why Andy made such a reckless deal in the first place and why he never told Esteban about it, they fight over the best way to handle their dilemma, and they fight over how to keep from further antagonizing the Otras Personas. Their friendship is at the breaking point, and people looking at them from the outside don’t know why they put up with each other. Nearly everyone tells Esteban he needs to fire Andy, and Andy’s mom is insistent that keeping Esteban as a client is holding Andy back.

But that’s where García Bernal and Luna’s real-life friendship comes in. Despite all the shouting and accusations, despite the moments when Esteban itches to get Andy in the ring so he can clock him, you’re still able to feel the love between them. Just like in Y tu mamá también and their other onscreen collaborations, their characters’ relationship is different than their own, but they lend that feeling of history. The sense that these two characters go as far back together as one can go. The sense that they’ve been through it all together, and no matter how much their lives change, on some level they’re still just those two boys from Jalisco.

Andy and Esteban’s arguments cut deeply, in large part because of how much they care for each other. Andy feels sick that his dumb decisions from ages ago are now endangering everyone he loves, even as he tries to wriggle away from direct accusations. Esteban is hurt and despondent, wondering how much of his career was a lie while also thinking how this could ruin his future legacy. When Andy first tells him the news, Esteban can’t bear the realization that Andy fixed fights for him in the past because he didn’t believe Esteban could win. When Esteban accuses Andy of taking a cut from the Otras Personas, Andy sounds so genuinely affronted that his friend would think so little of him, asking, “Don’t you know me, asshole?” When Irasema and Andy are arguing over Esteban’s relapse, she tosses out the line, “My ex is Mexico’s favorite junkie,” and Andy instantly snaps back, “Don’t call him that!”

Their fights don’t lessen their love for each other. They fight so hard and land such cutting blows because they love each other so much. Each knows the other better than they know themselves, recognizing one another’s messy parts while avoiding their own blind spots. They can break each other’s hearts, but when their backs are really up against the wall, each comes through for the other in a way that matters. That’s why Luna and García Bernal’s chemistry is invaluable to the show. Two actors without the history they have together would be hard-pressed to create a connection so electric.

[babbling-idiot]

Hcs for miss Venus van dam if you so kindly. I love her so much and honestly, in love. I would love some first impressions, fluff and just pure love headcanons. Best to you!!

She is absolutely in love with you

She sees you as such a bright light in her dark world

You would think that considering what she does for a living she would very good at talking, telling you how she feels and what she thinks about you

Very wrong

She is super shy when it came down to her wanting to ask you on a date

She almost psyched herself out of it till you noticed her dilemma and grabbed her hand in yours

The softness you showed her made her heart melt and she just couldn't stop herself from confessing to you

After she did she expected you to say you were already in a relationship

Lucky for her you instantly told her you felt the same

She was very shocked but happy

She was very happy with the date

You suggested what to do and she agreed

You were perfect in every way and you just made her fall more in love with you

She was really surprised when you dropped her off at her home and when you walked her to her front door you asked her for another date sometime when she's not busy

She has a really bad thing for putting herself down because of how she was born

The fact she doesn't want to change and she loves herself the way she is and accepts that, makes her all the more amazing

You fell in love with her as well and when you could see the look of surprise when you mentioned another date you instantly told her you liked her a lot and that you wanted to try and pursue a relationship with her

She felt tears coming

She pushed them down and bid you a goodnight after figuring out when the date would happen

You can correctly assume she cried when she got inside her home

She literally went to her room, looked in the mirror, smiled and then cried (Happy tears)

After the second date you asked her to be your girlfriend in which she instantly said yes

Now that she is yours and you are hers

You like to spoil her with home cooked meals, movie nights, and nights where it is solely focused on her

She used to say that she doesn't deserve this special treatment you show her

That was shut down quickly

You gave placed your hands on her cheeks, looking into those beautiful eyes of hers, kissed her lips and told her that she deserves everything wonderful

She loves it when you both go out shopping

She loves watching you get excited about a certain shirt or clothing that makes your smile widen

She loves just watching you enjoy yourself

You do love it when she is trying on new clothes and getting new styles, and she shows you

You love saying things that make her blush

Especially when you say how hot she looks or the way that skirt makes her legs look amazing

When she is with clients and they shower her with compliments she's never shy's away from them, she's usually very smug when they say stuff like that, but lord when you give her compliments and tell her how gorgeous she is

God, she is a blushing mess and cannot control the smiles she lets cross her face

Her favorite thing is when you compliment her and she gets all bashful you will walk up to her and wrap your hand around her waist and will turn her to the mirror

You will look at her in the mirror, wrap your hands around her wrists and will say in a whisper only she can hear

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever had the pleasure to set my eyes on. No other woman can compare to your beauty. All the compliments I give you, are all true and all for you baby."

If she died right then she'd be the happiest woman on earth

She feels so lucky to have someone like you by her side

[skyselfships]

i read Disney Mirrorverse Pure of Heart

i read it because someone posted about snow white and hades' dynamic in the book. anyway heres my rambling about the book (not just hades lmao snow white is the main character here) under the cut. by the way, i never played disney mirrorverse all i know is that its a canon-divergent alternate universe crossover. and kermit is there

The way the book makes references to the characters' lives pre-Mirrorverse is woven rather than ham-fisted in a way that makes the reader go "hey! reference!" which is neat. It's less of a "hey! reference!" and more of a "they are part of this world".

Snow White

She is the focus of the story. Otherwise we'd get a different title and plot.

The book highlights her good traits. She develops bravery in face of what happens and got as far as she has thanks to her friends' support. When push comes to shove, she will take action. She is kind to everyone even to Hades, remains optimistic which is good for morale, and she has emotional strength. While she didn't believe that she had the strength to fight, she helps the Guardians through their conflicts. She is merciful with the Huntsman and gives him a chance to start a new life, just like he did for her. Snow is built up to be "pure of heart" and it's established that her "heart" will come into play... kind of. She is the heart of the group after all.

The prince does appear in the story and he hosts a ball for morale which thankfully isn't a trap or a lead-up to an unnecessary "stay or go" dilemma but it is nice to see the world outside of the Queen's castle, the forest, the cottage, and check out what he's up to. He wasn't in the film much because the animators had trouble drawing him so here's a chance of giving him and Snow more time together.

The Guardians

The supporting characters: Tiana, Rapunzel, Sulley, Stitch, and Hades. Hades has a very prominent characterization so he gets his own section. Either the book puts more focus on him than the others or my internal bias towards Hades is showing. There was a point where I forgot that Sulley and Stitch were there but the book makes sure the reader doesn't forget anyone.

Some Guardians get arcs that give them some sort of conflict. Sulley gets separated from the group and attacked by Fractured goons. (I honestly forgot that he had an arc and had to go back to check. It was so short too.) Stitch gets one with his size-changing ability and Snow talks him into recalling certain senses that help him shrink down to normal size when he couldn't. Tiana gets poisoned while mining for gems (which is one ingredient for health potions) which puts her in a state that keeps her mining until Snow White cures her via one of her potions. The narration goes into her internal struggle: She is the healer of the group which means the mission and everyone's survival hinges on her. If she mines many gems, they won't be in short supply of potions. As long as she can heal the group, she can't let anyone down or else they would hate her. Rapunzel's conflict is that during a cave-in, she is reminded of where near-death-experience where she and Flynn/Eugene almost drowned and gets a panic attack(?) to which Snow helps her through. Hades' conflict shows up when the gang encounters Fractured copies of Zeus, Poseidon, Hestia, and Hercules.

Hades

Hades, out of all the supporting characters, really makes his presence known throughout, his witty commentary doing a good chunk of it. And there's his interactions with Snow White that have this Hades and Persephone energy based on what little I know of them in mythology. It doesn't help that Snow White is associated with the forest. A good summary of their relationship would be "I've only known Snow White for a day and a half and if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself." I love it.

His introduction is a witty statement and being met with the other Guardians arming themselves, not too different from his introduction in "Hercules" or Maleficent's in "Sleeping Beauty". The Guardians don't really trust him but he's fighting alongside them so they have to work together, like it or not. Snow White doesn't know him yet but she doesn't do the same or let their opinions of him get to her. She remains as kind to him as she is with everyone else. And Hades has moments of thinking of her as a good kid, especially that part where Snow almost dies and even though he chooses to focus on fighting Fractured copies of his family members rather than help her, he does have enough of a heart to think about making it up to her if she does die.

She was a mortal, her life a bare whisper compared to his roar. When she showed up in the Underworld, he'd give her a nice spot in the Elysian Fields, maybe, in apology. He wouldn't let anyone torture her with hot coals. He would let her rub Cerberus' belly. That was pretty generous, for a god. (p. 223)

The only reason he didn't stop to help was because he would miss out on one-upping Zeus (even though that isn't really Zeus). Yeah, family grudge is the #1 priority for Hades. I know the "Will Hades save Snow or not?" conflict exists because Hades is a villain but... the rest of the gang were going over to save Snow White while Hades was busy fighting. If Hades switched gears, who would fend off the Fractured copies? Nobody. And Sulley and Stitch end up saving Snow. It's not wrong for them to dislike that Hades refused to help Snow when she called for him but that would put everyone at risk. Okay, maybe he could make a barrier out of fire- wait no, that would cause a forest fire.

If he didn't like Snow, he would not have tossed his heart like a bomb at the Evil Queen before Snow could take out her heart. He's a god. What's he going to do? Die? (The gang minus Hades made self-sacrifice speeches offering themself up but none of them even suggested for Hades, the immortal one, to sacrifice himself. Obviously they wouldn't do that and he wouldn't go along with that. He'll do what he does because he wants to, not because someone told him to.) Maybe that's his way of making it up to Snow White when he prioritized fighting Fractured copies of his family rather than saving her. He's not the type to apologize or admit to being wrong. But looking at his nice streak to Snow White...

Hades' dialogue when he takes the Fractured Mirror and betrays the Guardians stands out to me so much it has to be quoted:

"I feel like I've done my civic duty, ... And maybe I finally found my purpose. Look, you guys are okay. Not great, but okay. We had some fun times. But I think this mirror is going to be a lot more fun. I can make my own friends. And they'll never argue with me ... Because goons only say exactly what they're told to say. Bye!" (p. 271-272)

Remember how Hades always draws the shortest straw in life? Remember the fight with the Fractured copies of Zeus, Poseidon, Hestia, and Hercules? Remember his introduction in this book? Yeah, he and the Guardians only have the whole Fractured thing as common ground or else they wouldn't be together. Snow White? What about her? Obviously she'll stay with the Guardians. She'll get along with them better than with him. Yeah, she's nice and has no animosity toward him but unlike him, they're good and nice and not evil. Chances are that his plans for the mirror involves making a family/friends that doesn't hate him, that he can get along with, that... what was I saying?

The book goes out of its way to flesh out Hades who most would know as a hot-headed snarky fast-talking villain who makes good comedic moments but is a legitimate threat when the story calls for it. But that's pretty surface-level. The story touches on what makes him tick and bring out the villain we all know and love- or in the Guardians' case, distrust.

The Evil Queen

The final boss of the story. Why is she doing all the Mirrorverse-related things? To challenge and test the Guardians to see which is pure of heart even though it's obviously Snow's she is after and once they reach her, she gives them a sadistic choice: one has to sacrifice their heart to save everyone else or else she kills the dwarves who she has hostage. The reader would expect that Snow White offers up herself and something happens that has her survive in the end because there's no way she would get killed off... AND HADES COMES IN WITH A STEEL CHAIR! The Queen would have to know that Hades is there with them or else Fractured copies of his family members wouldn't be fighting them, but I don't think she'd expect him to offer up his heart. Oh yeah, she wanted someone pure of heart to give up their heart so she could use it to heal herself of the poison in her caused by the whole Fractured thing or whatever. Hades' heart kind of works but it's a slow-acting antidote rather than a cure. That's one way of saying that Hades is a villain but not an irredeemable monster- wait this is supposed to be about the Queen. At least she got what she wanted in the end. And the Fractured Mirror corruption thing is no longer plaguing the land. Yay?

The Guardians heal her. They bring up the possibility of her being a Guardian if she works for it but she refuses. Meanwhile Snow is so against the idea that she silently objects to it which no one seems to notice.

After years of a rocky relationship, Snow stands up to her abuser. The Queen always had power over her. In this situation, the Queen is down and Snow won't face retaliation for speaking out. I'm putting all that in a very long quote.

That was something Snow White had never considered before- standing up or even talking back to the Queen. As a little girl, she'd first tried to please her stepmother, then tried to avoid her, then tried not to anger her, then had to run from her. But now the Queen was on the floor, weak and alone, unprotected, and Snow White realized that while she would absolutely not be sticking around to play nursemaid, she did, in fact, have something to say. "When you came to the castle, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen," she said. "After the portraits of my own mother. And I wanted you to like me. I thought you would take care of me and love me, and that we could play dress-up together, and you would teach me how to be a gracious ruler. But instead you were jealous of me from the start, cruel and belittling and stern. It was as if you found every soft, tender part of me and struck out, trying to hurt me in any way you could. But no matter how terrible you were to me, I never gave up hope that I could have a life where I was liked for who I am. Despite you, I found friends, and I discovered skills and abilities that I never knew I possessed. Not because of you- but despite you. And now I tell you this: I pity you. You could've had love, and instead you chose wickedness. And now you have to live with that, alone, in a castle that could've been filled with laughter and happiness." Snow White looked all around at the dirty stone, the grimy windows, the empty, empty tables. "So enjoy that." (p. 279-280)

The Queen is a horrible mother and there is no way she and Snow will ever have a healthy relationship. She will never become good. She will never let go of her jealousy.

Could one compare the Queen's interactions with Snow White to Hades' interactions with Snow White? Maybe. The Queen is the way she is because jealousy and takes it out on Snow. Hades is the way he is because he got the Underworld and family. Yes, he targets Hercules back in the film but that's because he's an obstacle in the takeover plan. He hates Zeus the most. Hercules is his son and also in the way. Snow is not in Hades' family and she is unconditionally nice to him. He has no reason to dislike her. Hades isn't a nice guy but he has moments of being nice to her. The Queen would never. Aaand Hades hijacks the section that isn't his again.

[ginger-grimm]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE 4TH AND FINAL SEASON OF TUA: SPOILERS AHEAD

Sharing just cause I need to get it off my chest. I haven't shared opinions on TV shows in a while because most new stuff is just so uninteresting but I've watched this show since s1 first came out, almost. Opinions will be all over the place, don't feel like ordering them per episode.

Season was too short, everyone is well aware of it, but the storyline was so cluttered that it just didn't hit the same

Character motivation and characterization of everyone was all over the place in general. Why are we wasting a whole episode on a coupling no one was going to like? Why is the family split up for the majority of this final season?

I hate pretty much everyone's ending. Luther should have been given Viktor's storyline with Reggie to have his dilemma come full circle. I enjoyed him having a bit more comedic relief as opposed to his annoying attitude in the earlier seasons but there is so much he could have done besides being comedic fodder with Diego. Like, hello, he had a wife that went missing and I guess he never actually looked for her? Or he did and he gave up and got over it just like that? I wouldn't know since she was mentioned twice and only in a wistful tone as if she died. Put him with Reggie to resolve his daddy issues finally. Literally anything else. Diego spent the season in an unappy marriage with a shitty job, essentially chasing his glory days once again and he died with zero closure with his wife and the mother of his children. Allison's husband left her and she fell back into old patterns with her daughter and never really made up with her family and none of her issues are resolved. Klaus spent the season with a pointless villain who took up way too much screentime. Five took his brother's wife and was entirely out of character this season. Why is he nice guying after Lila when there is an apocalypse around the corner? Ben died having done literally nothing this season. None of his self conciousness was resolved, there was no real depth given to him and his storyline with Jennifer came and went. Viktor spent the entirety of the season with Reggie for some reason when really he should have been reconsiling with his family and mending his relationship with them. Lila died on the outs with her husband and in a weird "relationship" with her brother-in-law and also being entirely out-of-character. It's truly a disservice to everyone in the maincast.

I didn't mind the ending in general, I figured they would have to sacrifice themselves to fix everything they fucked up once and for all. I only question how Claire, Grace, Coco, and Carlos are alive even if they were "saved" by the trainstation. Their parents never existed and therefore they shouldn't either.

Wish they would have explored the trainstation more. It's a cool device but where did it come from and why now?

Gene and Jean were such wasted villains. Again, blaming it on the season being too short and too much focus on unnecessary storylines but the concept was there, they just squandered it.

What was the point of Reggie and Abigail? What is Abigail's real motivation? Is she evil or just ambivilent towards it all? I guess I enjoy that she wanted to fix her mistake but why wouldn't they give these two at least a flashback to show where they came from and how they got here?

The vibes this season in genral were off and I can't totally explain why despite the season being rushed and too short.

I honestly tuned out during the whole Five and Lila thing because, yeah, it was gross and it sucked and it ruined three great characters. I'm honestly moreso just questioning Lila as a mother. I get she was unhappy with Diego, I figured this would happen once they got married and became parents, but she genuinely seemed to love her kids. So when she gets lost in a subway for seven years she should be fighting like hell to get back to her kids instead of fucking her brother-in-law, right? Right?!

My favorite part was honestly the relationship that Klaus had with Claire. It just feels to me like everyone else was so far removed from her for some reason despite most of them being close enough to show up to Grace's birthday party?

The stakes were there but they essentially poofed away by the end of episode five.

I liked the ending to be honest, it was pretty serene and again, I think it makes sense for them to die to save the world, since they are the reason the world keeps ending. It was also nice to see the continuation of characters we saw appear throughout the series (minus Ray and the Sparrows).

Also enjoyed getting to see a young Umbrella Academy one last time.

All in all the season was not good, but I enjoyed getting to see the cast and characters again, even if they weren't entirely themselves. Also the ending wasn't horrible, so that's sometimes. I think it could have been made infinitely better if they had taken more time and if they had maybe tried to get up to ten episodes to mellow everything out and properly end everyone's storylines in a more satisfying way.

[froggos-are-superior]

The duality of Daybreak will never cease to amaze me. I mean, on one hand, the whole show is basically just a giant shit post. But on the other hand, it touches on some really deep and personal topics. The kind of show that has you crying laughing, if you will.

They'll have this scene with Josh where he's like

I GOTTA CUT OFF MY FINGER MAN I DONT WANNA BE A ZOMBIE

And then Angelica walks in and is like

WHAT THE FUCK MAN THIS ISNT THE WALKING DEAD, THE ZOMBIE BITES DO NOTHING

And Josh is just staring at his severed finger like man oh man.

Topics

The entire show is filled with scenes like that but it also addresses things such as

Bullying

Morality

Complex parent relationships

The struggle to fit in

Mental illness

Homophobia

Loneliness

Grief

Sacrifice

A breakdown of the manic pixie dream girl trope

Realizing that maybe you aren't a good person

Having to choose the lesser of two evils

Having to choose between being true to yourself and being the person everyone wants from you

And one of the best parts is that, yes, they do fuck up. A character makes a decision and maybe it was the wrong one. Maybe actions do have consequences. Sometimes they learn from those mistakes. Sometimes they don't. I like this. It makes it feel like an accurate depiction of a human being.

They show everyone as fucking idiots, but every episode has a different character's backstory, narrated by themselves. It makes you realize that even if you think someone's a dick, sometimes there are things going on in their lives that you just can't know about.

Episodes

(Some of who narrates each episode for context):

Josh- Josh vs. the Apocalypse Part 1, Schmuck Bait!, Post Mates

One of the things most apparent from Josh's perspective, is that he loves Samaira Dean. All we ever see are good things about her. But as the plot drags on, it starts to become apparent that maybe Josh's narration is unreliable, warped.

Angelica- The Slime Queenpin of Glendale, CA

Angelica's story is a bit funny, bordering on concerning. It's clear however, that she didn't have the best childhood and all she really wants is a friend, or someone who won't leave her behind.

Wesley- Homecoming Redux or My So Called Stunt Double Life

I could go on forever about Wesley's episode, but the main dilemma is that Wesley needs to pick between two people he loves. Sam advises him to ignore both options- to pick himself instead. It really makes you think that he did too. But in the end, he made a decision and now has to live with the guilt of what he did. Present-day, he's faced with a similar situation once again, and he doesn't know how to make the right decision.

Ms. Crumble- Canta Tu Vida

Ms. Crumble was a tragic character. Her backstory reflected that as well. She had so much character growth as the series went on and I was in tears during the finale.

I honestly have no idea what I was originally going for here but at this point it's pretty much just a Daybreak themed mess. Bon appetit.

[shebeafancyflapjack]

Gotta vent my frustrations with that finale because holy fuck. If you don't want negativity then don't click the cut.

So far I've been praising this series for drifting away from one of my biggest gripes with the show and that's the oversaturation of romantic couples over found family and friendships. That hasn't been much of an issue this series, I've loved all the little moments of comradery, for example how it was Isaac and Sam who came to talk to Hetty after her reveal rather than Trevor, as well as Sas bonding with Jay even if just for that one episode. I liked Flower's polyamory being brought up again and had hopes it wouldn't just be mocked again....we'll get to that.

But then this last episode decided to leave me with such a vile taste in my mouth I dunno if I'm gonna bother watching more.

First off I'm not a big Isaac and Nigel shipper so it's not like I'm super devastated they didn't get married but I thought they were cute enough. I praised the show before about having an on screen gay couple as opposed to the typical tragic bury your gays of Caphavers, even if they didn't have nearly as much chemistry as the couple who have three scenes together.

But now Nisaac is dead, or on a respite (OK that made me giggle), and we didn't even get to see them have their emotional talk, just have Isaac sum it up afterwards. The show had an opportunity for a really heartbreaking moment with just the two of them but instead we were left with "He took it well". And Isaac has been dragged into the mud which, I'll admit, was incredibly cathartic on behalf of the basement ghosts and Nancy in particular.

Honestly it's the Thor/Flower/Nancy stuff that angers me the most and had it not been there then I might not have brought up what happened with Nisaac, but it just adds into the whole "queerphobic" narrative by having your mlm couple split while the mlw couple admits their love and another random mlw couple gets their wedding (one half of which is a horrible character). I knew the throuple thing wasn't going to be long term but....why bring it in at all? Just to mock poly people? Why not just have Flower say she needed space to think before being with Thor again? Why the need to mock Nancy as the "disposable unconventionally attractive" third wheel?

As for Flower...talk about character assassination. So last week she's all "how dare you be so cruel to Nancy?" and in the premier the basement ghosts are saying how kind she was to them - now she's abandoning Nancy in the basement and doesn't care that Nisaac didn't invite them - yet Carol was there?! Flower is the only other queer main ghost besides Isaac yet her wlw relationships are treated as jokes of her being a "silly hippy" and apparently she wasn't into Nancy at all? That's that for the only wlw rep in the show I guess. It doesn't help that Thor and Flower have zero chemistry imo.

I'm not gonna pretend the main guys in the BBC show treated the plague ghosts that great but at least they were invited upstairs to watch the panto. Again the thing with Patience was the only saving grace and I like that the guys had no idea she would do that so they're not painted as evil.

As for Pete's subplot, I actually did like Donna and was glad she didn't turn out to be some femme fatal like she was coming off as. But again, we have yet another mlw romantic subplot - when instead we could have had Pete with his daughter and her family and having the same dilemma of if he wanted to disappear there or return to his new 'home'.

Not to mention how irrelevant Sam and Jay felt to the point I forgot they were even there. All previous finales have had some sort of stakes going on with them whether it be the floor collapsing or the fake cousin, but here they were barely spectators.

I think worst of all, it just wasn't that funny. Often I can forgive a comedy's writing so long as it still makes me laugh but I got nothing from this other than disgust. Maybe my feelings will cool by the time S4 rolls around but I can't see myself wanting more of this show.

[folkloriansolitairian]

so here’s the thing about the red white and royal blue movie

PSA BEFORE WE BEGIN!!! I AM NOT HATING! i did like the movie, this is not me hating on it or casey mcquinston, any of the actors, producers, writers, etc. i personally think that casey is an insanely talented writer, and the actors did a phenomenal job bringing this story to life. i am simply sharing my opinion and what i would change about it! also i like to complain it is my natural instinct. now that that’s out of the way here we go

honestly i think they could have done better and we could have gotten a lot more. sososo much was left out from the books and i was honestly just disappointed by how much they changed or straight up removed entirely. we were ROBBED of the following:

• JUNE I MISS HERRR WHERE IS SHE WAAAAH

• alex’s parents being divorced and how that effected him as a person and helped him grow into the person he is

• alex’s self discovery in his sexuality

• liam and rafael luna and how they both also helped alex in discovering his bisexuality (who the fuck is miguel) (did not like that he was already bi, his path of self discovery throughout the book is really relatable and good rep imo but idk)

• the iconic cornettos scene (i know they filmed it it was is the fucking trailers WHERE DID IT GO)

• bea’s 🍃 scandal/‘powder princess’ and how much that contributes to her development and depth as a character

• BEAS FATTY FUCKING CAT WHAT IS HIS NAME I MISS HIM

• the physical presence of the emails and how vulnerable alex and henry are with each other in them and how much they reveal about not just the 2 of them but other characters too like bea and the rest of henry’s family (they just has voiceovers which i thought was kind of weird, maybe just me)

• henry talking to the cancer patient about at at wars and that whole adorable thing

• seeing alex storming the palace to talk to henry (he just appeared?? smh anyways)

• most of alexs persepective of the emails getting leaked

• the ENTIRE fake dating arc with alex/nora and henry/june (i think? read the book a while ago don’t fully remember)

• alex’s whole dilemma and eventual decision to go to NYU law

• ZAHRA AND SHAANS ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP BASICALLY!! (why weren’t they engaged)

• the historical love letters henry and alex quoted in their emails to each other

• most of the plot with the richards campaign (mostly to do with the fact that there is NO LUNA)

• overall a lot of the buildup/enemies to lovers aspect of alex and henry’s relationship

there’s probably so much more that i’m forgetting but THE POINT IS there were so many important little details from the book that was left out in the movie that i would have loved to see and it’s honestly just disappointing that we didn’t get those. it felt like they basically got rid of everything that didn’t have to do with alex and henry’s relationship which just made the movie feel very one dimensional and bland to me. the whole film just felt overall really lacking of what made me love the book so much in the first place.

now i am going to be a tad bit hateful when i say the pacing of this film is HORRENDOUS. it was so fast paced and really just did not flow at all like the he book did. a great example of this i think would be the bar scene. when i read that in the book, it felt like a really long and detailed scene, but in the movie it’s a short maybe 60 second long montage which honestly just does not do such an eventful moment from the book justice.

to be entirely honest i feel like the book would have done a lot more justice if it had gotten a tv show adaptation instead of a film. unfortunately movies have a time limit, and amazon made them cut the originally 3+ hour film down to 2 hours or less. with tv shows on the other hand, they can make multiple shorter episodes, resulting in a longer total running time, therefore giving much more time for the smaller details (listed above) that aren’t detrimental enough to the plot to keep in a limited 2 hour long maximum film, but important enough to be kept in a, for example, 8 episode long tv series, 30-45 mins per episode. it doesn’t make sense to me why it wasn’t a tv show in the first place, since it is produced by prime video, whose most popular thing rn is the summer i turned pretty, which is LITERALLY A BOOK TO TV SHOW ADAPTATION!!!!!

to put it simply, it is impossible to fit 10 hours worth of words into a 2 hour long movie, so i understand why they had to remove so many details, but as a diehard book fan it is still disappointing to not see little things like that portrayed on the big screen.

i think that the moral of the story is that books should never be made into movies and instead always be made into tv shows and we deserve the 3 hour uncut version and amazon hates gay people

thank you for coming to my ted talk