#52hertz

[jessikahathaway]

Cat Got Your Tongue? - JJK (M)

Hello everyone! I’m back with another Jungkook fic because I have Jk brain rot rn. Please enjoy the story and just as a reminder to everyone-I am no longer doing taglists. I apologize for the inconvenience to anyone, but please enjoy the fic! Feel free to send in asks or chat with me, I love to hear from you all <3

Special thank you to Ryn @queenofthedamnit​ and Ella @oddinary4bts​ for Betaing this fic for me! I appreciate you both very much!

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook X Fem!Reader

Rating: 18+ (MINORS DNI)

Genre: College!AU, FWB to Lovers, Romance, Smut, lil bit of angst

Warnings: Miscommunication, emotionally constipated OC (who’s surprised? not me), fuckboy jk (that is a warning y’all), Reader is a member of BM’s Big Tiddy Gang, Hobi and Joonie being boyfriends (because I love them both), sick kitten (she gets better!), vet tech yoongles (phew that’s an entirely different wip), SMUT WARNINGS: Virgin Reader, loss of virginity, oral sex (male and female receiving), protected and unprotected sex (do the former not the latter), creampie, vaginal sex, breif daddy Kink (i’m sorry Ella), dirty talk, titty sucking, hair pulling, Jk gets freak nasty.

Words: 18.1k

Summary: You were exhausted from schoolwork and just needed a chance to unwind. Jungkook, campus fuckboy, offers his services to help alleviate the stress from studying but is he going to cause more stress than he relieves?

“Honestly, this is ridiculous.”

You sighed, running your fingers through your hair as you tried in vain to study.

“I don’t see why you’re having so many issues lately,” Namjoon, your tutor and quasi friend, sighed before rubbing his face in mutual frustration.

“I don’t either!” you cried, resting your head in your hands. It was rare for you to be frustrated or worked up... Or show any emotion other than moderate irritation.

It was that time of year again where the big exams start hitting before you can run off and celebrate with your friends-well, more like celebrate with a big glass of wine and a job well done. And hopefully you won’t lose your scholarship and have to go back home to the absolute anarchy that is your home life.

The middle child of seven you hate everything that life had to offer you.

It was stagnant. They were comfortable with mediocrity, you were not. You had drive, and passion and you weren’t going to waste it by staying in the same dinky town with your four older brothers and two younger twin sisters.

Since you weren’t into the sports scene like all of your brothers, and you weren’t young and docile like the twins you were kind of outcasted by your family. You knew they loved you in their own way, but it wasn’t enough to make you stay when you turned old enough for college.

Your parents helped you with what they could but it’s hard being parents to seven children. Let alone one that wants to travel damn near four hours for school.

They made it happen, and so did you.

Nothing was going to keep you away from this. Not a damn thing.

So, you came here with an objective and you won’t leave without accomplishing it to the absolute best of your ability. And that meant failure wasn’t an option.

But right now?

It was encroaching a little too close for your comfort.

Namjoon was a saint, he was patient and tried every way to explain something to you in hopes of being able to ease your worries and midterm stress but there was really nothing he could do. Nothing was sticking and it was just causing you more and more frustration and anxiety.

“Hey, don’t freak out,” Namjoon tried to calm you. “Maybe you just need to... I don’t know, get all your pent up frustration out, hm? Maybe like kickboxing or um... Regular boxing? I don’t know, something where you can hit stuff with your tiny fists.”

“I love that you think that was a compliment,” you sighed in defeat. “I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna have to go back home and I’m gonna have to be some wife for a fucking farmer. I’ll have to have ninety children and my vagina is gonna look like-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there because no part of me wants to know what a vagina looks like after ninety children okay? Okay,” he said, face turning slightly green at the thought. “And no, you aren’t going to fail, you aren’t going to go home and be a farmer's wife unless you want to. You’re not going to give up either.”

You gave Namjoon a very rare, but genuine smile and he squeezed your shoulder gently.

“Joonie!” a bright voice called.

Before Namjoon could blink his boyfriend, Hoseok, was on his back.

“Oof!”

Laughter filled the air between the two and you waved at Hoseok neutrally. He gave you his beaming smile that always made you want to return it. Although you weren’t sure your smile was that blinding.

“What’s up? Did they cancel practice early?” Namjoon asked.

“Nah, they’re doing lower level stuff today so the teacher said I could take it off. Because I am a protege as they say,” he snickered.

Namjoon just pushed him before turning back to you. “You’re gonna do fine, Y/N, promise. We can schedule another time but I think you should probably take a break,” he said.

That dreaded word.

Break.

What does it mean? Why?

To stop something?

Or for something to do the act of breaking as in falling apart?

You didn’t like breaks. They gave you time to think, they gave you time to ruminate over your own issues and anxieties and then you found yourself wallowing. No distractions means too much time alone.

Seeing as how you have few friends, even fewer since moving here.

Namjoon was your tutor, but you wouldn’t say that you were like... Super friends or anything. He cares about you, it's in his nature, but you two rarely hung out outside of study sessions. Hoseok you knew by association with Namjoon.

There was Yeji, she was a freshman this year and had asked for some help with a project after seeing you as the TA. You’d fallen into a mother hen role with her and will literally fight anyone who tries to hurt her. She’s your baby, you birthed her. But you don’t really see her as a friend friend, if that makes sense. You feel responsible for her, but you know she’s not stupid either. She’s a capable young woman.

A few of your friends back home, Felix and Bomi are always available for a chat if necessary as well. But they still live there, and their mindsets are very much of the small town variety.

Nothing wrong with that, but you’d rather not get stuck in a place where people either don’t care to grow and try to force others to think the same as them.

Ah, herd mentality, thou art a heartless bitch.

Okay, maybe your comfort show is the big bang theory, who cares?

“Y/N...?”

Ah, people were still here.

“Right, sorry...” you mumbled.

Hoseok looked at you with a small pout before looking at the papers. He’d never seen you struggle so much. “What’s wrong, Y/N? Everything okay in that wonderfully smart brain of yours?”

You winced, because right now you felt everything but wonderfully smart. “Um, not particularly, but I’ll figure it out I guess. And not through boxing,” you said, giving a pointed look to Namjoon who just seemed more embarrassed than anything.

“You know, you’re rather feisty when necessary,” Hoseok chuckled. “Boxing would be  entertaining.”

“I’m not the sporty type, I’m afraid,” you said, resting back on the chair.

“Why did you suggest boxing in the first place?” Hoseok asked, trying to catch up.

Namjoon frowned before sighing. “She’s frustrated and angry at herself, I was trying to think of a good outlet that would maybe get her to focus a little bit.”

Hoseok nodded. “Well, I mean there’s always sex,” he pointed out.

You froze while Namjoon perked up. “Fuck! You’re right!’

Hoseok smiled at his boyfriend like the fucking psychopath that he is while suggesting you do something so... so out your depth.

“See, Y/N?” Hoseok offered. “Just find a nice boy or girl or nonbinary individual who strikes your fancy and... well, let it out.”

“I know you think that will help, but it won’t,” you frowned.

“Why? Sex always helps me get out a little pent up frustration,” Namjoon said with a pout.

Hoseok nodded wistfully. “Oh yes, it certainly does,” he smiled with a cheeky wink.

“Right,” you said, voice cold and chopped while you gathered your materials.

“I’m sorry, Y/N I didn’t mean to overstep-” Hoseok started but you stood quickly and ignored him.

“Namjoon, can we meet again in two days? My project isn’t due until next Saturday so I’ll have some time to rest,” you said.

The older man looked at his boyfriend who looked rather guilty before nodding. “Yeah, I’ll send you a message with schedule times and you let me know what works for you.”

You nodded before heading off towards the exit of the library. You didn’t turn back to see Hoseok and Namjoon share a worried look before you left the premises.

--

“I mean it’s not a bad idea,” Yeji said as she worked on her project in the classroom after the lecture.

“Are you kidding me?” you said, turning to look at her as you wiped the whiteboard down.

“Not usually no, it goes over your head when I try,” she said. “You’re very literal.”

You pouted before turning back to the board. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“It can be,” Yeji said, eyes still on her laptop.

“If this is a Y/N roasting session-”

Yeji shut her laptop and looked at you, genuine care swirling in her eyes. “It’s not that Y/N, you know that.”

You shut your mouth.

Yeji had a tendency to go on tangents when she felt strongly about something or someone or a topic. She was gearing up for one right now and you had a feeling you were not ready for what she was going to say.

“Why do you think that having sex to let loose and have a little pleasure and fun is such a bad thing?” she asked, resting her head on her hand.

“I-I don’t think it’s bad,” you defended. “I just don’t think it’s for me.”

“But you wouldn’t know,” she countered.

With a sigh you faced her fully, crossing your arms before looking her dead in the eye. “I’m a virgin, Yeji. I’ve got the V-card very much so intact and probably not going anywhere any time soon.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” she said. “And you don’t have to go all the way with another person. You can just do oral or mutual masturbation or-”

You waved your hand dismissively. “I’m not interested in having sex that’s going to last two minutes and leave me feeling sticky and used, thank you.”

“Not all sex is like that,” Yeji said kindly. “If you find someone you have good sexual chemistry with then it likely won’t happen.”

“I’m on a college campus. Where am I going to find someone who isn’t a one pump chump?”

“I think you have a very skewed vision of what sex is,” Yeji sighed. “Sex isn’t supposed to be crazy all the time. Sometimes it is just one pump and done, for some people that’s enough. Then there are times where you’re edged to the moon and back and then there’s casual. You’ve pigeon-holed something you know nothing about because you know nothing about it and it makes you uncomfortable. You like knowing everything, you like not being caught off guard because when you are, it makes you feel like you’re back home all over again.”

Your heart was trembling in your chest.

“I tend to forget you’re a psych major,” you sighed, but she just gives you a reassuring smile. She may be young but she has an intuition and perceptivity not common in anyone period. Age negated. “It’s not that I don’t want to have sex... I-I just don’t think I want a relationship right now and I also don’t want to be disappointed. Is it wrong of me to have expectations?”

Yeji shook her head. “Not really, at least I don’t think so. There’s nothing wrong with expressing your wants and needs to someone. It’s also not a bad thing to want sex and to not want a relationship. There’s several people who enjoy sex but are happily unmarried or whatever. It’s your choice.”

You nodded. “Okay... Okay-if! If! It is a very big if...” you muttered. “If I decided I wanted to do it with someone, where would I even start?”

The younger woman’s face broke out in a smile at you. “I think I might have just the guy.”

--

“Jeon Jungkook, 25, senior and sports science major. He’s a little older than you but not by much. He’s also got quite the repertoire of sexual prowess,” Yeji winked.

You two were in your apartment late one evening. You and Namjoon had met today and you apologized for your attitude at the last meeting and begged him to apologize to Hoseok as well.

He was shocked at your urgency but was quick to apologize as well.

“What kind of repertoire are we talking about here?” you asked, applying the face mask carefully.

“Well,” she began, sitting cross legged on your bed with a mask of her own on. “He’s super attractive, just look at those legs my god...”

“Describe more please,” you said, painting on your clay mask with intensive care.

“Apparently he’s into sports, photography and food,” she said, scrolling on her phone.

“That’s pretty generic,” you sighed.

“I’m not done,” she pouted.

You turned to squint at her. “Don’t pout it’ll ruin your mask, keep talking, I haven't said no yet.”

Yeji nodded before scrolling down some more. “Oooh, he’s kinky,” Yeji chuckled.

Your brows rose in shock. You sputtered out a feeble, “W-What do you mean, kinky?”

“Well, it’s an older picture but he’s got a girl on a leash and shit for halloween,” she chuckled.

“Okay, I’m not hating on the BDSM community but I don’t really wanna be on a leash before losing my virginity,” you said, finally finishing your mask before coming out to join her on your bed.

“Just look at him,” she said, handing you her phone while she went to pee.

And look you did.

This man was the epitome of the male specimen. He was handsome, toned and strong, he had an attractive face and beautiful jawline that was enough to make you cry. Soft cheeks and surprisingly gentle doe eyes that looked into the camera a few times.

Although he did seem like the typical fuck boy.

“He’s got a tongue emoji and a water spray emoji in his bio, what the fuck,” you sighed.

“He’s allowed to advertise if that’s what he’s offering,” Yeji said as she wandered back out.

“Okay, I’ll at least say he’s cute,” you admitted, looking at some of the other photos on his account. He had really nice pictures on here, some of the city and others of the campus.

“Cute? Cute?! Y/N, you’re looking at all the soft ones,” she complained.

“Am I not supposed to?” you asked in confusion.

Yeji sighed before taking her phone back. “Would you have sex with him?”

You thought it over for a moment. “I mean I’d probably have to meet him beforehand but I can’t deny that he’s attractive to me.”

She nodded in excitement. “Alright, perfect. Then we just need to get you to approach him!”

You felt your blood run cold. “I-I have to approach him?”

Yeji blanked. “You think he’s just gonna walk up to you and say, ‘hey! Saw you were a virgin looking for some great sex for stress relief. How about now? Or Tuesday at six thirty?’ Y/N, of course you’ll have to make the first move. You’re the one seeking him out.”

Damn, when she puts it that way.

“Okay! Okay okay, fine. How? Where do I find this elusive fuck boy?” you asked, laying back.

“Well, I’d suggest a party but those really aren’t your scene. Unless you want to go, in which case I have several dresses that would gladly take the fall for your endeavors,” she said.

“Yeji you’re very sweet to offer, but I’m afraid my boobs are a tad bigger than yours,” you sighed.

And by a tad, you meant a lot.

You were born in a farming community! The women were... curvier than average...

“Yeah, we should probably find something that will accentuate those bad boys. Or girls... However you want to gender them I guess, if at all,” she said.

“Yeji,” you sighed. “I don’t want to go to a party. I’d rather keep this as transactional as possible.”

“Well... I mean sex isn’t supposed to be a transaction unless you’re into that, but it doesn’t have to be a big deal, Y/N. Promise. It can be just a simple, ‘hey, I’m looking to lose my virginity and I don’t want it to be a total disaster, care to help me out?’ and if he says no then you move on to other avenues.”

Doesn’t have to be a big deal?

Yeah right...

--

Finding the said campus fuck boy was harder than anticipated.

But, of course, you find him on the worst of days...

Your period had come three days early, the cramps were worse than usual and you hadn’t showered in two days due to your bathroom flooding in your apartment.

But after a very desperate and tear filled phone call, Yeji confirmed you could crash at her dorm. Her roommate had moved out in search of a single bedroom dorm so she said the bed was yours as long as you needed it.

Thank God for Yeji.

So, as you waddled to your campus library you sat down in the stiff ass wooden chair and got to work. Thankfully, the place was empty, besides for Seokjin who mainly just read magazines and scoffed for comedic effect. Although, he was nice to look at when the words on your pages started swirling together.

Just as you were settling into your routine, you heard the door to the library opening. Seokjin’s voice called out.

“Yah! Jungkook,” he hollered. “Your book is almost a week overdue.”

Your head snapped towards the door. And, like some cruel universal joke against you, the very man you were trying to have in your bed walked in looking like a four course meal... While you felt and appeared to have just been recently run over by a semi-truck.

“Ah, sorry Jin,” he said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

You caught yourself right before the perfectly timed swoon.

Stop!

He’s here! You finally have your chance to talk to him, and better yet, you’re alone!

Well... Sans the weirdly attractive librarian.

“Do you have the book?” he asked, crossing his arms and looking at the... what is he doing with his foot? Why is he toeing the ground like some character in an anime?

“You see, ah, Jin,” he said, coming closer to the counter.

“No, I don’t see a book, nothing to see but a gigantic pain in my ass,” Jin sighed.

“I have the book... I guess technically, I have half of it,” Jungkook explained.

“No,” Jin said.

“Huh?”

“Nope, you did not just come in here with half a late book and expect me to save your stupid ass again,” the librarian scolded.

Jungkook gave an entirely too adorable pout for a senior sports med major.

But you couldn’t find it in yourself to complain. You found that you were staring, so quickly you turned your head back towards your studies, seemingly indifferent to the men behind you.

You put your headphones on but then their conversation continued.

“I love you,” Jungkook whined. “Please? Please please please just let me off the hook this last time and I’ll give you Bitna’s socials?”

Jin was quiet for a second. “And that other friend of yours, the cute one who wore the crop top at the last party we were at together,” he said.

“Eunwoo?”

“That’s the one.”

“Deal.”

Jin gave a pained sigh before speaking again. “Alright, now that you’re done being a public menace what are your plans for the rest of the evening?”

“Not too sure, but-oh,” Jungkook stopped. “Sorry Jin, I didn’t know there were people here right now.”

“Ah, she’s here all the time, don’t worry about it.”

They’re talking like you aren’t there, so either they saw your headphones and assumed you weren’t listening or they really didn’t care about you listening in.

“What’s her name? Do you know?” Jungkook asked.

“Hah, good luck,” Jin said, making some noise so he was probably getting back to work.

Good, finally be useful you handsome brat.

“What? Is she not into guys?” you could hear the questioning tone taking over his voice.

“Not too sure, I’ve seen her with the same three people damn near all year. She doesn’t do human interaction it appears, her name is Y/N. Always returns her books at least a week early or comes in and renews them, you know, like a polite young lady! Unlike you, freaking barbarian,” he huffed.

“Hmm, she’s pretty,” he said, it wasn’t said in a way that would make you uncomfortable. He was saying it in a way that was just observational.

“Yeah, but watch out. She’s kinda mean sometimes, she told me once my haircut made me look like a Newfoundland! Those big freaking water dogs that look horrific when they’re wet!” He whined softly.

Ah.

Damn.

You did unfortunately say that to him.

But you didn’t mean it entirely in a bad way...

“Aww, poor thing,” Jungkook laughed.

“Go over there and get shot down, then you won’t be so happy,” the librarian was speaking in pout.

“Fine!” Jungkook said.

Your heart picked up speed.

Fuck!

What do you say? What do you do??

This attractive man was coming over to talk to you-

You felt a gentle tap on your shoulder.

With a jolt you turned instinctively to look back and saw that Jungkook was now much much much closer. He smelled incredible. He smelt like sandalwood and spice, his skin was glowing and his eyes were crinkled with a cute little smile on his face.

“Hi, I’m Jungkook,” he said, offering you his hand.

“I know,” you said and your hand flew to your mouth as your eyebrows raised at the blunt words that came out of you.

Jungkook just chuckled softly. “Then I’m sorry for not extending the kindness to you, what’s your name?”

“Y-Y/N,” you said.

Fuck.

Fuck!

Your heart was beating so fast and you couldn’t calm it no matter how much you tried to ‘breathe through your nose and out through your mouth.’

Well, maybe it didn’t work if you were doing it at the speed of sound.

“Pretty, I like that. Don’t know that I’ve heard it before,” he stated, walking around to sit in the chair next to you. He did stop before sitting down and looked at you before you gave him a gentle nod that he could join you.

At least he had manners.

He was already way ahead of the average male on this campus.

“Thanks,” you said with a gentle tone.

“So, what’s your major?” he asked. “Any grand dreams after leaving uni or are you just going to run head first into tomorrow without looking back?” His tone was light, joking. But you still felt your heart hammering in your chest. What the hell was wrong with you?

“Uh... Well, I’m a History major with a minor in English,” you said, smoothing your notes down with your hands nervously.

Jungkook nodded in acknowledgement. “That sounds tough, I never had the patience for foreign languages,” he pouted. “If I’m not good at it right away I tend to get bored easily.”

“What’s your major?” you asked, even though you knew it already.

“Oh, I’m a sports med senior,” he said with a soft smile.

You nodded, looking back at your notes. Jungkook gazed at your papers and then his eyes moved back up to you.

“So, do you have any classes today?” he offered, resting his head on his hand as he watched you fiddle with the same notebook.

“No, I’m done for the week,” you answered honestly.

“Would you like to hang out with me then?” he asked.

You turned and raised a brow, confused at his interest. Even though this is what you’d been hoping for.

“You hardly know me, what are we gonna do?” you asked.

Jungkook chuckled. “I’m not going to pretend I wasn’t hoping for at least your number,” he said.

Your eyes widened at his statement.

“And maybe a bit of fun too if you’re interested. I’m not looking for anything serious, if you’re not into it then I’m cool with leaving you be. Just thought I’d shoot my shot,” he said with a little wink.

You could feel the heat on your face as you looked at the table awkwardly. “I-I’m interested,” you said, voice soft.

Jungkook’s eyes darkened as he smiled at you. “Really? Well... how about we get out of here then? Your place or mine?” he offered.

Your heart was hammering in your chest. “U-Uh mine is currently flooded, unfortunately... And I can’t do it today, exactly,” you said, already embarrassed.

“No?” he asked, voice gently teasing.

“I’m uh... well,” you struggled to say it. “Currently having to put those activities on hold.”

Jungkook looked confused before he seemed to understand. His eyes widened a bit before giving a softer nod. “I see, I apologize. The last thing you probably want is some guy hitting on you right now, sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude about it.”

You shook your head quickly. “No! No no, it’s fine. I would’ve said something if I wasn’t comfortable, but thanks.”

“Well, when you’re feeling better maybe we can hang out,” he said with a cute little smirk.

“Um... yeah, that’d be fun,” you said.

“Then give me your phone, I’ll put my number in there,” he said, holding his hand out. Like a robot you dropped your phone into his open palm with ease. You were shocked at how quickly you did it too.

He quickly put his number in, sending himself a text so he had your number as well. He handed you your phone back carefully, giving you a little smile as you tucked it away.

“Well, I’m going to head out. But, let me know when you want to get together, I think we could have some fun,” he said with a wink before standing up and walking out the door.

Jin watched with a shocked expression while Jungkook flipped him off before blowing him a kiss.

What in the hell did you get yourself into?

--

After the most awkward meeting with the campus fuckboy, you find yourself panicking when he texts you first.

Four days later.

Your period had ended, thank god. So now, you were trying to make plans to finally get your cherry popped as it were.

Yeji thought you were being hilarious while you fretted over what to send him.

“Honestly, Y/N, he sent you a hello text with the waving hand emoji, it’s not that serious. Just say hi back,” she encouraged.

“How? What do I say, Yeji?” You cried, holding your phone to your chest as if it could help calm your racing heart.

“Legit, just say Hi with a smiley face,” Yeji said with a pout.

“Okay, okay I can do that,” you stressed.

Jungkook: hello 👋

You: hi 😊

Jungkook: are you feeling okay?

You turned to Yeji with a worried face. “He’s asking me if I’m okay! I was on my period when we spoke oh fuck I wanna die-”

“Christ! Y/N! Quit being so dramatic, it’s fine. You’re fine. It’s all fine!”

Yeji was rubbing her temples and you swallowed hard.

She was right.

This was supposed to be an even exchange between you and the fuckboy. So you might as well cut to the chase. It didn’t have to be so difficult, right?

You: yeah, I feel fine thank you.

Jungkook: sure, did you want to hang out tonight?

You: can we be transparent?

Jungkook: ah, are my male charms coming off too strong? Sorry, but this is me asking to get in your pants if you want to. If not, that’s fine too.

You: no worries. I’m interested but I’ve got a bit of an issue.

Jungkook: ah, inexperienced?

You: you know I was hoping it wasn’t too obvious.

Jungkook: 😂 I get that

You: so is that okay?

Jungkook: yeah, I’ll send you my address and you can come over.

You: okay 👌

You turned to Yeji with a panicked expression. “He wants me to come over now…”

She nodded excitedly. “Alright! Grab some of your cute underwear and go! I’ll keep my phone on, you just showered so you’re in prime time for some good ole fashioned hanky panky,” Yeji teased.

You nodded. “Alright, okay. I got this, I can do this.”

You grabbed some lingerie you bought online in a wine drunken stupor and threw it on.

The deep teal color looked ravishing on you. The bra securing your girls into place. You grabbed some stockings and rolled them up your legs and threw on a simple skirt and long sleeve shirt before heading towards the door.

Yeji gave you a reassuring squeeze before you left.

“If you need me just give me a call, okay?” She asked.

You nodded gratefully before heading out the door.

Half an hour later you were at what you hoped was Jungkook’s apartment.

You knocked on the door, standing outside and holding your arms nervously. A few moments passed before Jungkook opened the door. He looked at you before giving you a quick smile as he stepped back to let you in.

With a small smile you walked in and looked around. Everything was relatively clean. It was obvious someone lived here but at the same time it wasn’t filthy, a little cluttered in some areas but overall rather nice.

“It smells nice in here,” you commented.

Jungkook winked. “I lit some candles for you,” he said.

You rolled your eyes before putting your purse on the counter.

“So,” Jungkook said, grabbing some drinks from the fridge. “When you say inexperienced, how little we talking?”

You froze.

“Uh… well,” you squirmed as you stood in place. Trying not to feel too awkward. Usually, you were the one making others squirm with inexperience. Your brain was clearly scrambling trying to make you not sound like a complete idiot.

Jungkook approached with a drink, just a can of Coke, but it was thoughtful nonetheless.

“I’m a virgin,” you said, holding the bright red can in your hand. The moment seemed oddly poetic.

“Ah, I see,” Jungkook nodded. “Well that changes things a bit.”

You looked at him quickly. Why did he sound like that?

“I’m sorry… is-is that a bad thing?” You asked. Usually you were far more confident than this, but everything this involved was out of your depth.

“Oh, no. It’s not bad to be a virgin, sex should happen when you’re ready and comfortable. That’s not what I’m getting at. I just don’t personally sleep with a lot of virgins,” he said, shrugging as he took a drink.

“Why not?” You asked.

“Personal, but all right,” he teased. “It’s a lot of pressure to be the only one with experience. Having to teach you not only what I like but what you like too. And, virgins tend to get a little attached. Not saying that’s a bad thing, for some people their virginity is important and what not but-it’s a lot of work.”

You pouted.

Well you didn’t think about it like that. You thought all men had that inner desire to take someone’s first time. It was pretty sexist looking back on it, so you apologized internally to the general populace before looking at Jungkook to do the same.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t think about that, I understand if you don’t want to-uh… sleep with me,” you said, rubbing your neck.

Jungkook chuckled. “Ah, that’s not the case either. I said I don’t sleep with a lot of virgins, not that I haven’t in the past or wouldn’t continue to do so. I’m just pickier, I guess,” he said, giving you a soft smile. “I’m very much interested in sleeping with you.”

“Why?” You asked, eyes big with confusion.

Jungkook came closer, starting to back your body up against his wall. “Well, physically you’re my type. And, you’re a little awkward so it’s fun to tease you. Also, I saw a peek of your bra when you bent over to take your shoes off and I almost fucking busted,” he said. “Your tits are incredible…”

You flushed at the blatant flirting.

“I can take my shirt off and show you more,” you offered, hands already on the hem of your shirt.

“Mm, maybe in a minute. Let me kiss you first,” he offered, coming closer. You instinctually tensed up, eyes shutting tight as you tried to keep your breathing level. You waited for a moment for his lips to touch yours but they never did.

All you heard was a soft chuckle. “You look like you ate a lemon, do you not want to kiss me?”

Your eyes popped open before giving him a frown. “I do, I’ve never kissed anyone though... I don’t know what to do.”

Jungkook’s brows raised. “Wow, never been kissed either huh?”

“No, I didn’t want to be distracted,” you said quietly. “But... But now I want the distraction, so, please kiss me?”

He didn’t need any more encouragement as he leaned in and brought your lips together. You didn’t know what to do so you just let him press against you for the moment, until he was pulling back and looking at you with soft eyes. “You need to breathe, Y/N,” he said.

With a woosh of air you realized you’d been holding your breath since he leaned in. Your head went spinny and Jungkook held you by your waist to keep you up, even though there really wasn’t any danger of you falling. “Easy pretty,” he cooed while making your heart race almost painfully. “Want me to kiss you more? I’ll show you how to do it,” he whispered softly against your pouting lips.

You followed the rhythm of his mouth, gently pushing when he pulled and vice versa. It wasn’t rocket science, but there was a definite pattern you had to work hard at mastering. But, finally, Jungkook pulled back with a lazy smile.

“Hey, that one was pretty good. Can you do it again?” he asked, moving in to crowd your space again.

With light hands you wrapped them around his neck. Jungkook placed his hands on the small of your back now, pressing the two of you together tighter than before. A soft gasp fell from your lips as you grabbed his shoulders.

Jungkook chuckled before ducking his head into your neck and placing soft kisses along your collarbone and shoulders.

More comfortable with the proceedings than before, you moved to allow him space to move his mouth. Jungkook sighed against you, licking his lips as he pulled back. You looked into his eyes and swallowed the lump that threatened to form in your throat.

“Let’s go to my room,” he said, eagerly moving you throughout the apartment.

Rather quickly you were moved into a tidy space that had you-admittedly-surprised.

“Oh, it’s really nice in here,” you said, looking around before Jungkook was moving into your space once more.

“Thank you, I’m thinking of redecorating,” he said, holding your waist.

“But it’s nice-”

“I’m gonna throw this shirt over there, your bra over there and your panties on the lamp,” he winked, making your heart thud dangerous in your chest.

“Wouldn’t that start a fire?”

“Not if you’re wet enough,” he smirked.

God damn, who knew fuck boys could talk like this??

You sent a prayer out to whatever deity would be listening. God? The President? An Alexa for fucksake? Anything that would keep your heart from absolutely obliterating your rib cage as this man teased you and played with your body.

However, you noticed the distinct lack of stress from your tests and exams and damned assignments. Your mind was fully occupied with Jungkook and his kisses and wandering hands.

How could you worry about those pesky responsibilities if this man killed you from lust?

Jungkook was laying you on his bed as he groped your chest with one hand while the other held him over your body. Next, his lips. They were tangled with yours, which were finally comfortable within the pattern and changes he was executing. You were a quick learner, and this was proving to be no different.

Thank fuck.

“Can I take your shirt off?” he asked, hands running under the hem of your thin shirt. His hands caressed your skin, making your body jolt at the newfound sensations. With hot cheeks you nodded, letting him peel the garment from you with ease as he tossed it away.

Redecorating indeed.

Jungkook gaped at your breasts sitting in your bra. Well, rather being suffocated by it at this point. His eyes seemed to sparkle at the sight of your tits. He kissed the top of your cleavage, leaving gentle nips and sucks along the flesh causing shivers to roll down your spine in lust.

You leaned up briefly to unclip your bra, letting the straps drop from your shoulders and down to your elbows. Jungkook eagerly moved and helped you toss the piece away from your body.

“The color was pretty, but holy shit your tits are amazing,” he breathed, kissing your throat and neck. “Can I suck on them?”

You nodded quickly, giving him the green light which he accepted gratefully.

“Jungkook!” you gasped as he sucked a hot hickey into the bottom of your breast.

He smiled and looked at you. “Yes baby? What’s the matter?”

“That scared me,” you said, pushing his shoulder in annoyance. But honestly you were just being fussy at the embarrassment his touch was bringing you. You’d never felt this out of your depth. Not knowing stuff made you nervous, and your body didn’t understand half of what was going on. Jungkook didn’t seem annoyed, however, at your attitude. His eyes just got softer as he leaned in.

“Did it really scare you? Or are you embarrassed? Cause it’s normal, don’t be embarrassed baby, your tits are so pretty... They almost don’t fit in my palms,” he said, cupping your chest and palming one to prove his point. “So sexy...”

“F-Feels good,” you huffed softly,

He hummed, squeezing your breast and rubbing his thumb across your nipple teasingly. “You’re so sexy, baby,” he teased. He leaned down and captured your other nipple between his lips and lathed his tongue across it.

“Oh~” you mewled out. “Jungkook...”

“Y/N, you’re gonna make me bust in my pants if you say my name like that...”

“Just like it,” you mumbled, lips pouting as you squeezed your eyes shut at the pleasurable sensations running through your body.

“I know you do honey,” he purred, kissing your cleavage and across your tender chest. Sucking and nipping along the way, he found your nipple again and gently pulled it into his mouth, teasing it to a peak with his tongue. His thumb rolled across your other one, pinching it and tugging the flesh to bud just as the one in his mouth.

“F-Fuck...” you stammered, struggling to keep your mind functioning. It was difficult when almost all of these sensations were new. His lips kissing and touching along your lips and skin, his hand rough but tender on your flesh, his voice speaking hot and arousing words into your ears. It was a marvel you hadn’t combusted yet.

“J-Jungkook,” you whispered, making his head perk up at your breathless call.

“Yeah?” he asked, eyes matching yours as he panted. His lips were glossy from his spit that was also covering your chest.

“Don’t stop, please,” you said, voice weak and whiny.

You’d never heard yourself make noises like this. Other than when masturbating. And honestly, that usually had to be a silent affair. Burying your pleasure in your hand as you came. But you didn’t have to be quiet now, and Jungkook seemed hell bent on ensuring you were everything but.

“Fuck, I won’t,” he breathed. “Unless you tell me to stop I won’t.”

As bare minimum as that statement was, it still made you feel more comfortable around him. The words he spoke were genuine, he wasn’t going to force you.

“Take your shirt off,” you said, tugging on the bottom of it.

Jungkook smirked as he sat up from you, pulling his top up and off of his frame. He tossed it to join yours, wherever it had landed. They were long forgotten and gladly so at this point. He leaned over you once more, showing off his tattoos that had your mouth watering in surprise. You knew he had them, but to see them up close like this was something else entirely. Jungkook was fucking hot, and the further you went the more you realized this was going to be the perfect remedy for your annoying study slump.

“Like it baby?” he asked, running his thumb across your bottom lip to tease the swelling flesh with a teasing glance.

“Yes,” you breathed. “I like it a lot...”

He smiled, bringing his lips to yours once more. “Can I touch your pussy? Wanna feel you...”

“B-Be gentle,” you stuttered, despite your best efforts.

“Of course, Y/N,” he said, running his hand underneath your skirt and touching your wetness with a soft breath. “Fuck, you’re so wet baby... little pussy is waiting for me huh?”

“I-I,” you whispered, a gasp leaving your lips at his thumb pressing against your clit softly. His breath fanned across your face softly, his eyes looking at your expression with intensity.

“You need to tell me if something hurts, okay? It shouldn’t be unbearable and it won’t hurt for too long, if it does let me know,” he said, running a finger down to your entrance and teasing your hole gingerly. “Gonna be snug for me, yeah?” he asked, hooking his fingers into your panties and tugging them off your legs.

“Yes,” you breathed, answering both of his questions with that single word. Jungkook’s eyes leveled with yours for a moment before pushing his finger inside you. You squeaked softly, heart hammering in your chest as your pussy swallowed his finger greedily. He captured your lips in a kiss that was entirely too consuming for you to think of anything other than his presence above you and inside of you.

He didn’t even stick his cock inside you yet but it was still wholly overwhelming. Is this what it felt like to be feminine? Your whole life you hadn’t really given a shit about you. All you cared about was your passion and your drive but ultimately... you had gotten lost in the sea of success. Leaving yourself as collateral.

Jungkook was awakening things inside of you, things you weren’t certain you were ready to deal with but... But perhaps it didn’t matter right now.

All that mattered right now was the sensations he was pulling from your body. Because shit... he felt so so fucking good.

“J-Jungkook,” you whined out, hands reaching for his arms.

He shushed you, pushing another finger inside you as his thumb continued to pet your clit. “It feels like a lot, doesn’t it baby?”

You nodded your head, holding his bicep with one hand while you bit your knuckle on the other.

“It doesn’t hurt, right?” he said, looking into your eyes.

“No, j-ust a lot, like you said,” you breathed, trying to keep yourself even moderately in check. But honestly? The longer you stayed with Jungkook, the less you felt the necessity to hide and be shy. He didn’t seem to be expecting anything, he knew of your lacking experience but didn’t seem dissuaded by it.

“Then you lay there and take what I give you like a good girl,” he said, kissing your jaw as he started to pump his hand inside your pulsing core slowly.

You wish you could cringe at that basic fuckboy response, but the rasp in his voice and the bob of his throat as he felt your walls clench around his fingers at his words made you unable to snark at him. Because even if it was basic, it was turning you on.

“O-Okay,” you whimpered, turning your head to connect your lips with his.

“Jesus,” he breathed, kissing you back eagerly. “You pick up quick,” he said with a soft smile. “Now kiss me like you mean it.”

You did as he said, holding his face between your hands as you kissed him messily. Jungkook kept pumping your pussy to create the desperate ache in your lower stomach and cunt. He adjusted your kiss and lips every so often, detaching from your tempting mouth to kiss at your neck and shoulder as he worked your body over.

Finally, you could hardly take it. “J-Jungkook,” you whispered. “I-I’m gonna cum, please-”

He nodded. “I’ll get you there baby, need you nice and wet when I fuck you,” he sighed, finding your tells quickly. “Cream my fingers, Y/N, want to see you do it.”

With his words ringing in your ears you cried out your release, cumming hard on his fingers just as he wanted. Your hips and thighs trembled as he rubbed your pussy walls to coax your climax through you.

“Good girl, easy baby, did so good for me,” he whispered against your chest. “Breathe, Y/N, it’s alright.”

You didn’t realize you were still shaking. You’d never felt like that before. Heart stammering just as much as the rest of your blissed out body.

“Holy shit,” you said, voice weak and thin from panting and whining.

“Made a mess babe,” he teased, eyes sparkling with desire and lust for you. He put his fingers in his mouth for a moment before looking at your core with a hungry gaze. “Can I have a taste, Y/N? I’ll be gentle...” he murmured, leaning down and kissing your lower stomach as if to hold himself back. Carefully, he slid the stockings down and off of your legs, sending you a teasing wink-as if thanking you for the sexy attire.

“Y-Yeah, you can for a bit but... but I want you to fuck me,” you said.

Jungkook chuckled before kissing your sensitive pussy with tender lips. “Believe me, if you manage to walk out of here I will count it as a failure.”

You rolled your eyes but there wasn’t any genuine irritation. His voice was coated in sarcasm and gentle teasing, making you relax even further into his embrace.

“Tug on my hair,” he said. “Want you to tug on my hair while I eat your pussy...” he husked, leading your hand to his silky locks.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” you breathed, watching his head move closer to your core.

“I hope you do,” he winked before diving in.

A sharp gasp came from your throat without you even thinking about it. The reaction was utterly instinctual as Jungkook brought his tongue to your clit, rolling around it-careful of your sensitivity. He moaned against your core, as if your flavor was enough to turn him on.

Jungkook was licking and sucking loudly. It seemed so messy and utterly vulgar but you couldn’t help but watch with morbid fascination as your core leaked more and more wetness at Jungkook’s actions.

“Yes baby, give it to me,” he groaned against your core. “Fucking wet little cunt,” he growled.

“Jungkook!” you whined, hand finally gripping on the strands of his hair.

He huffed hotly against your thigh as he kissed and sucked hickies into the supple flesh. “Fuck-fuck! Your pussy tastes so good,” he seemed almost shocked. “Fucking best pussy...”

You almost questioned his statements-but he didn’t give you the opportunity, moving his mouth over your core once more. You pulled on his hair, feeling the overwhelming sensations of pleasure consuming your mind and body as he worked his tongue over your clit and throbbing core.

“M-mmm! Jungkook, Jungkook please~” you cried. “I’m so close!”

He could tell. Your core was throbbing again and you were no doubt worked up from the sensitivity of your first orgasm. His cock was fucking aching at the mere thought of getting to be inside your soaked cunt.

“Give me one more minute,” he said, capturing your clit in his mouth and sucking.

“Jungkook!” you sobbed. “I-I can’t, I’m gonna-please!” you cried desperately.

With a gentle nod he kept up his pace on your clit as his fingers plunged back inside your hole.

“Cum baby, cum and then I’ll fuck you. Gonna fuck this pussy so good, gonna make you cream my cock next,” he snarled, licking the filthy slick that covered your cunt with eager lips.

“I-I’m gonna-mm-haa~” you squealed as you came again, body heaving from the pleasure that this man ripped from your body once again.

“Easy baby,” he purred. “Feels good doesn’t it? Like my mouth on your pussy like that?” he asked, raising a brow as he licked the remnants of your orgasm from his lips and fingers.

“J-Jesus,” you hiccuped, eyes slightly teary from the intensity of the pleasure you’d received.

“Not quite baby, but I appreciate the compliment,” he said, voice breathless as he kissed you.

You registered the flavor of his kiss but there was your own mixed in and it made your stomach feel funny at the different kinds of sensations filling your body. “Jungkook,” you breathed against his mouth. “I-I’m ready now,” you panted. “Please... Please fuck me now.”

Jungkook swore against your neck before pulling his pants off and grabbing a condom from his bedside table. He tugged his boxers down and off releasing his cock and jesus fucking christ-

He was big.

It was so much different than seeing a dick in a porn video. It always seems common and typical in those scenes but in real life? In front of you like this?

It was a little intimidating to be honest.

Jungkook crawled back into bed with you, spreading your legs. “You sure you want to do this?” he asked, eyes boring into yours for the answer to his question.

“Y-Yeah, just... Nervous,” you said, biting your lip.

“We don’t have to,” he said.

“I want to,” you answered quickly, realizing it was the truth. You did really want to do this. Not only to get it over with, but because maybe you were having a good time with him. You felt like someone was seeing you. Not just your cold exterior and study centric front.

The you that had always been there but just didn’t get the opportunity to be seen.

What an odd time to have a revelation such as this.

“Okay, deep breath,” he said.

You did as he said and jolted when his cock rubbed against your core, the cold sensation surprising you. “I put some lube on, it might be a little cold, I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Look at me, tell me if it hurts too much okay? Shouldn’t be too bad.”

With a soft nod Jungkook pushed forward, burying his cock halfway inside you in an easy thrust.

“Ah!” you squeaked out, gripping his shoulders tightly.

“Don’t tense up, try to relax,” he said, kissing your neck and jaw.

He was right. It wasn’t excruciating pain, but it was certainly uncomfortable, and it felt so much bigger than you thought.

“F-Feels like a lot,” you whispered, voice whiny and high.

“I know baby, just breathe. Doing so good,” he praised, making the glide of his cock inside you that much easier. Jungkook touched his forehead to your temple, easing himself the rest of the way in. His hand held tight to your thigh, soft pants hitting your neck.

“Jungkook,” you whispered.

“You good?” he asked, pulling back just a touch to look at you.

“Yeah,” you breathed. “Like I said... just a lot.”

He nodded, moving forward just a touch to kiss you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed back, mouth now finding a pleasant rhythm with his.

“Fuck,” he whispered, pulling away from your lips for just a moment. “Can I move? I need to fuck you before I fucking bust from how tight you are,” he moaned.

You clenched at the sound of his desperation, which caused him to rut forward into you. “Kook!” you squeaked the shortened version of his name at the sudden jutting of his hips which he quickly apologized for.

“S-Sorry, you squeezed me so fucking tight-I’m already so fucking hard.”

His words weren’t entirely making sense to you either, your mind was pretty occupied with his body more than his speaking.

It was so odd to share your body with another person. He was legitimately inside of you. How did that make any sense? But it felt so good. You hadn’t expected that part. You thought he’d touch you and you’d cum once, if you were lucky. However, you shouldn’t have doubted the prowess of the one Jeon Jungkook. Campus Fuckboy extraordinaire.

“-can I?” his voice cut in through your cock drunk thoughts.

“What?” you asked.

“Can I move now? Please? I need to fuck you now,” his breaths were short and stilted, like he was fighting to hold back the primal urge of fucking you into his mattress.

You nodded. “J-Just be careful,” you said, voice thick with want.

“Yes baby, whatever you want,” he said, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Your heart was the thing that twinged after hearing those words.

Surprisingly enough. This fuckboy was more interesting than you originally believed.

His hips meeting yours in a seamless glide had a shocked moan fall from your lips. “J-Jungkook-”

“Kook,” he said above you. “I liked that one,” he panted, giving you a dopey smile. “You can call me Kook. I like when you say it, fuck,” he said, brows furrowing in pleasure. “Fuck you feel so fucking good.”

You briefly wondered if fuck was the only cuss word he knew. But you chided yourself, because honestly you didn’t even think you could speak currently.

He gave steady thrusts inside your center, making you mewl in surprise at the burning pleasure it created in your tummy.

“Kook,” you breathed, mind whirling in shocks of pleasure.

“Yeah baby, I’m right here,” he said, voice sweet as sugar. “Fucking you so good baby, do you like my dick? Like when I fuck you?”

“Yes! Yes I do!” you cried, hands wrapping around his neck.

Jungkook lifted your upper body, pulling you into his lap as he kneeled on his bed. You were sitting on his lap with his cock deep inside your snug walls. You held onto him as he adjusted your legs slightly so your hips wouldn’t ache so bad.

“There baby, hang onto me, yeah? Let me fuck you like this,” he whispered, kissing your chin as he started to roll his hips up against yours. “Move back against me Y/N,” he encouraged, guiding you by your waist, grinding your ass in the cup of his pelvis. “Just like that...”

He moaned against your chest, his hand creeping down to your ass to pull you closer. As if you two were melded together enough.

“Fuck, Jungkook-feels, so big,” you whined, arms winding around his neck as you dropped your ass on your own, Jungkook’s hands guiding you.

“Yeah baby, ride my cock... feels so fucking tight inside you, best pussy right here... Where’ve you been all my life, fucking shit,” he growled, pulling you in for a messy kiss.

You were too scrambled by the feeling of sex that you didn’t quite capture the meaning of his words. Maybe that was for the best.

Jungkook’s mind was reeling. It had been a while since he’d had sex with a virgin, but he never remembers it being this intense. But shit, you squeezed him just right, making his mind stutter while you whimpered softly from his cock rolling into you deftly. It was everything he could do not to blow his load.

“F-Fuck, baby, ‘m gonna cum,” he panted. “Pussy too tight on my cock, fuck...”

“Okay-I... I’m getting close too,” you moaned.

Jungkook reached between the two of you to gently massage your clit with the pad of his thumb. “Feels good baby? Cum for me, I wanna see you do it again.”

You whined and cried at his thumb on your sensitive clit, but it was slowly pushing you to your end.

“Kook! Jungkook!” you sobbed, gripping his shoulders and upper back desperately. “Fuck!”

“Make me cum baby, come on,” he growled, capturing your lips in a hungry kiss. He dropped you on your back, following you shortly and slipping inside your twitching pussy.

“Yes, wanna make you cum,” you mewled. “Cum Jungkook, please,” you said.

He held you tightly, rubbing quick circles on your clit to finally push you to your third orgasm of the night.

Shockingly, he did it, making you gasp and shriek his name. He felt how tight your walls became during your orgasm and he gladly followed you in pleasure.

“Fuck yes, yes baby make me cum, holy shit-Y/N,” he groaned, jutting his hips into your sloppily. With a pleasured cry, Jungkook emptied himself into the condom.

You two didn’t know how long the aftershocks of your orgasms lasted, but you were certain it was close to five minutes before anyone spoke.

“You okay?” his voice rasped, making you turn your head with a soft expression on your face. Jungkook felt his chest stammer at the bleary but pleased look in your eyes.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “I’m okay.”

He nodded. “Sit there, I’m gonna go get us some water and help you clean up.”

Jungkook gave you a soft smile before moving away and tossing the used condom in his garbage and heading into the bathroom. Your heart was thudding hard in your chest.

You did it.

You’d had sex.

And it was the furthest thing from terrible you think you’ve ever experienced. Was all sex like this? Or was it the sex with Jungkook that happened to be incredible. You can see what all the other girls he’d slept with were talking about. He literally made your legs turn to jelly.

“Here’s some water, sit up?” he asked, moving in to sit next to you.

You flushed at the fact you both were still naked. “Thanks,” you whispered, voice much hoarser than you’d anticipated. With eager sips you drank the water, handing him the cup when you were finished. He pushed you on your back gently and moved between your legs.

With the remaining shame you had you squeaked and grabbed his wrists for a second. He looked at you, startled. “What?”

“Sorry,” you murmured. “Caught me off guard, I just expected you to have me take care of it.”

“Nah, I got it, you probably can’t walk yet either,” he mentioned before cleaning up the mess between your thighs. You shivered at the sensations but shortly Jungkook was tossing the dirty washcloth into his laundry and laying on the bed with you for a moment.

He breathed in deeply, like he had just eaten a great meal and was digesting.

“Do I have a chance to fuck you on the regular?” he asked, turning to look at you.

“What?” you asked, snapping your head to the side to look at him with shock written across your features.

Jungkook gave you a handsome smile. “If not I apologize for saying it so bluntly, but I liked having sex with you, I want to do it again. Or, you, respectively.”

You couldn’t quite believe him still. But, you couldn’t help the twinge of interest in your stomach. He was attractive, and he was offering you stress relief realistically whenever you both wanted it.

“I-I guess? I mean, what does that make us? Friends with benefits? Booty call buddies?” You wondered out loud.

Jungkook chuckled softly. “Whatever you want, I guess,” he stated.

You looked at him with a raised brow but he just gave you another attractive but cryptic smile-hiding his true emotions with the alluring smirk.

“Something tells me you don’t mean that,” you sighed. “But, I guess you text me, or I’ll text you. Whenever,” you said, moving to grab your things.

Jungkook sat down on the bed, having pulled on his boxers while watching your frame collect your clothes and start pulling them on. You sat down next to him in silence, tugging your stockings back up your legs and covering your skin that had Jungkook frowning.

“What?” You asked, turning to him.

He quickly snapped out of it, looking at you with a mock pained expression. “You could make a grown man cry baby,” he said.

“You’re going to make me cry with those lines,” you said with a sour face.

“Feisty,” he said with a teasing grin.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the heat that settled in your face. You’d never really been flirted with or anything of that matter, so to have him so blatantly made your heart stammer and squeeze in ways you weren’t necessarily prepared for.

Jungkook watched you grab your things, bending to grab your things from the floor and flashing your panty covered ass to him. He sighed, fighting the urge to take you again right now. Plus, you had no clue you were presenting so nicely to him-

“Quit staring at my ass,” you said with an unamused expression.

Jungkook laughed a bit before leaning back on his hands. “You’re so different when you’re not having sex.”

“You’re more annoying,” you said with a blank expression. The front was back and Jungkook found it odd how quick you went back. He wondered if you’re truly this way or if you merely didn’t know any other facets of your personality.

Something fun to discover...

“Did you want a ride back?” he offered, in lieu of a response to your sour attitude.

With a flushed expression you bit your lip.

“Yes please.”

Jungkook smiled. “Let me get dressed.”

--

Jungkook was waiting for his phone to ring. To ding. To alert him of anything in regards to you. The little virgin that had him wrapped around your finger so tightly. And you hardly knew it.

The two of you had been texting here and there, and had sex twice since the first time. And Jungkook could be honest with himself.

You were his favorite person to have sex with.

Hands down, no cap, your pussy was top notch and-and there was something about you specifically that he couldn’t put his finger on. He liked making you flustered and listening to you talk about your classes after the two of you were done fucking. You were curious about so many things, and there was a lot running through your mind at all hours of the day.

And, as much as you wanted to give off the cold bitch exterior, Jungkook knew you were kind at heart.

Because you’d been feeding a stray cat outside your dorm building for the past two weeks and he was certain if you could you would’ve brought it inside already. The weather was getting colder and you were no doubt worried that the poor thing wasn’t going to make it through the harsh weather.

“She’s so cute, Jungkook! You should come by and meet her sometime,” you said one afternoon as the two of you sat in the library while you studied.

“I don’t like cats,” Jungkook commented offhandedly.

“I don’t like you,” you snarked, and Jungkook rolled his eyes at your snotty remark. Even though he knew it wasn’t true. If you didn’t like him Jungkook had an odd feeling you’d make yourself scarce after the interactions you’ve had.

“You like my dick though,” he huffed.

You squeaked out in embarrassment and smacked his shoulder. “Shh! Don’t say stuff like that!” you huffed.

“It’s true, why deny it baby?” he teased, leaning forward on his elbows.

“God sometimes I wanna break your nose,” you sighed, turning back to your papers and looking down.

Jungkook watched your mind work, solving the problems on your paper like it was nothing. He was always impressed by your knowledge and ability to learn new things so quickly, he found that he could easily be jealous if he let himself.

But honestly, jealousy didn’t look good on him and there wasn’t much he was envious of in this world. He had a good face, good body and decent enough grades. If anything he could be a bit of a pain in the ass but the other things made up for the latter.

He didn’t say these things to be arrogant or anything, they were merely truths. People treated him differently because of these things and he wasn’t going to say otherwise. But you? You treated him just like Namjoon and Hoseok, except you let him fuck you every so often.

Speaking of...

“Hey, wanna go back to my place?” he asked, resting on his elbow.

“Why? I’m busy studying,” you said without looking up.

“I wanna fuck you,” he said, shrugging.

You sighed deeply. “I swear to God Jungkook-”

“Is that a no?” he asked, making sure he wasn’t pushing any boundaries that he shouldn’t. Honestly he hadn’t fucked anyone as consistently as he had you in the past four years of college. And he couldn’t find himself hating it either.

Jungkook had only had one serious girlfriend and that was back in highschool and honestly, he didn’t think they were that committed in the first place. Plus, teenagers hardly know what they want for breakfast, it’s hard to believe they know they’re going to be with someone for the next two weeks, let alone for the rest of their lives.

But, Jungkook was twenty five, and he was starting to think that the two of you could possibly...

Well. That might be a conversation for another time.

“Come on,” you said, standing and putting your stuff in your backpack.

“Yeah?” Jungkook said, a smile forming on his features at the thought of having you in his bed all over again.

“Yeah, I want you, let's go,” you said, not wasting any time and taking his hand.

The librarian, Seokjin, looked at Jungkook being dragged out of the library and then looked to Namjoon who was helping another student but was also shocked at the proceedings.

“Know anything about that king of the nerds?” Seokjin asked him.

“That subject is one I don’t care to study,” Namjoon said.

“Well that’s lame,” Seokjin huffed before turning back to his phone. “You kids wear my ass out.”

--

You and Yeji were hanging out in your dorm again after you fed Eden.

The orange little tabby had been coming around more frequently and it made your heart sing with joy. You’d never had a pet back home and the fact that you’d befriended such a cute little creature made your day.

Also showing Jungkook pictures and trying to sway him had turned into a new favorite pastime as well.

“Who are you texting?” Yeji asked as she came out of your bathroom, sitting on your bed with you.

“Just Jungkook,” you said, tossing your phone to the side.

“You two seem to be getting along well, huh?” she asked, raising a brow at you with a smile.

You rolled your eyes. “It’s nothing serious Yeji, just sex with some hanging out in between.”

She looked at you with an examining gaze. “He’s just having sex with you, right?” she asked for confirmation.

“I don’t know, I think so. I’m on birth control and we always use condoms so I’m not too worried about it. What, do you think I should get tested or something?” you asked.

“No, no Y/N, nothing like that I meant more of... If you two are just fucking and hanging out sometimes then, are you possibly considering dating him?” she asked.

“Huh? No, why would I date him?” you asked, feeling a trickle of uncertainty trail down your spine. Did it seem like you were interested? It’s not like you didn’t think he was attractive or anything it’s... you didn’t need any more distractions! The sex was enough of a distraction, you didn’t need anything else from him...right?

Yeji held her hands up. “It was just a question, Y/N, I didn’t mean to strike a nerve but... If there was one to hit, maybe ask yourself why?”

Because he’s not what I thought he was...

He’s nice.

He’s funny.

I like him a little more than I think I should-

“No nerve struck, Yeji,” you shrugged. “Just not interested in dating right now.” You tried your best to remain nonchalant but Yeji could tell. There was definitely a nerve she’d struck, and she thinks she knows exactly the one as well.

But, you can lead a horse to water. You can’t make it drink. Even if it’s on the brink of death. The horse must make that decision for itself.

--

When Jungkook received a call at two am from you crying he was stunned to say the least. He’d fallen asleep after studying late for his finals when he heard his phone ringing. A small smile made its way to his face when he saw your name and icon pop up.

Y/N 🐱🔥

“It’s two am baby, you need help going to sleep Y/N-”

“Kook please, she needs help!”

“Y/N? Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” he asked, sitting up in bed at the sound of your distressed voice.

“Eden-she’s sick and I don’t know what’s wrong with her... She showed up outside the dorm and laid down and now she is panting hard and-I’m scared, I don’t know what to do about this. I can’t bring her in, the RA would kick my ass-”

“I’ll be there, we’ll take her to the vet, okay? We’ll make sure your kitten’s okay,” he promised. “Wait with her and I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

Jungkook showed up in ten minutes, and there you stood with the small orange tabby in your arms with tears in your eyes. He put the car in park and jumped out to approach you and the cat.

“Hey, Y/N-baby, don’t cry...” he whispered, trying to keep his voice down. This was the first time he’d seen you this physically upset.

“I don’t know what’s wrong, she’s so sick and I-I don’t know what happened,” you cried.

“Shh, baby,” he cooed, pulling you into a gentle hug. “I have a friend who’s a vet tech, want me to give him a call?” Yoongi would be pissed he called at fuck o’clock in the morning but he’d help when he knew what was happening.

Yoongi could be an asshole but he loved animals.

“Please,” you sniffled.

“Come sit in the car, it’s getting cold,” he said.

A phone call, a very angry Yoongi and several more tears on your end-you and Eden were finally sleeping in the clinic Yoongi worked for. You were passed out in the chair next to Eden’s temporary kennel.

“Once she poops and I can run that sample you can take her home,” Yoongi said. “The on-call vet said she should be okay, just too cold outside for her right now. Seems like she's sensitive to the cold.”

Jungkook sighed and nodded his head. “Yeah, whatever she needs I’ll take care of it.”

Yoongi snickered at him which caused Jungkook to turn a very sharp glare in his direction, to which Yoongi flicked his forehead.

“Don’t be a little bitch,” the older man warned him. “She’s cute, your girlfriend? Prospective girlfriend?” he asked, nodding towards your direction. “Settling down Mr. Campus fuckboy?” He said some brutal things but most people who knew him understood it was just his style of communicating. But Jungkook sighed heavily and Yoongi seemed to understand that this was different. You were different to him.

Jungkook and looked back at you. “She’d never date me,” he said with a soft smile. “I’m just a good fuck to her.”

Yoongi tilted his head in confusion. “Odd, that’s usually the reversed position.”

“I like switching positions,” Jungkook said, with no humor in his voice.

The older man came over and really looked at Jungkook. “You really like her?”

“Something like that,” Jungkook shrugged, turning back to look at you sleeping in the chair. “Whatever she needs, I’ll pay for it.”

“The cat or her?”

Jungkook didn’t answer, he didn’t need to.

—

You brought Eden home the next morning, a smile on your face as you cuddled the warm ball of fur.

Well, you brought her to Jungkook’s home. You weren’t going to be able to keep her in the dorms so Jungkook’s apartment was going to have to work in the meantime.

He didn’t pitch a fit like you had presumed he would, he was surprisingly understanding and welcoming of the little kitten that had stolen your heart.

Jungkook had bought some stuff from the clinic and Yoongi gave over some supplies they weren’t going to be using for her as well. Even getting her a small baby blue collar with a bell on it to hold her tags.

“I’ll come over to help whenever you want,” you said, turning to drop the kitten on the floor to wander about.

She sniffed around until she flopped on the plush rug and seemed to preen happily. You swooned at her adorable paws and fluffy tail, you’d never been allowed pets at home, so to have one (kinda) now was so meaningful.

Jungkook watched you, his heart sitting heavy in his ribs. He was confused, he was tired. And honestly all he wanted was to lay down. But when you turned to him and placed a sweet kiss on his lips he couldn’t help but kiss back eagerly.

“Thank you,” you breathed against his lips. “Thank you for helping her, for helping me.”

“Yeah, of course,” he said, capturing your lips again. He really liked kissing you, finding himself leading you to his couch with his hands wrapping around your waist to grab at the small of your back.

You both tumbled onto the cushions with a heavy sigh, Jungkook kissing and sucking on your neck and collarbones. “Fuck baby,” he breathed, feeling the excitement of having you coursing through his veins.

“K-Kook,” you whined softly, willing to spend the morning fooling around with him. Especially after he helped you and Eden so much. He didn’t even tell you how much it was to give her the emergency treatment.

He promised Yoongi gave him a good deal, but that didn’t mean it was inexpensive.

Yeji’s words lingered in the back of your head but you tried desperately not to think about it too much. Because all you cared about was Jungkook’s hands roaming your body, his sweet lips kissing down your neck and to your chest.

You spent the morning tangled together, the cute purrs of a very sleepy, but content kitten in the background.

--

“You’re leading him on, Y/N,” Yeji said with a soft sigh.

“I am not! He’s not interested in dating me, Yeji, he’s the campus fuckboy-”

“When was the last time you heard him sleeping with someone other than you? When was the last time he was spotted at a party? Y/N, he’s spending all his extra time with you. You and that damned cat.”

Jungkook and you had been spending more and more time together recently. And most of it wasn’t spent fucking. It was hanging out, watching movies, playing with the cat or going out to eat.

“We can be friends that fuck around sometimes,” you twiddled your thumbs.

Yeji sighed and looked down at her papers. “He seems nice, and he likes you, if you don’t want to date him then be honest with him.”

“You were the one who told me to fuck him in the first place!” You lamented.

“Your poor decisions aren’t my fault, neither are your good ones. If you want to have a skewed moral compass that’s fine. But I’m telling you now, don’t lead a guy like him on.”

“A guy like him?” You questioned.

“One that cares about you.”

—

Fridays were your happy days. You didn’t have any classes and the weekend could be spent doing nothing but your homework, which was minimal, and lazing around with Jungkook and Eden.

The two of you had kinda dubbed Friday’s your days.

You two were watching another movie on the couch, eyes watching the screen. Jungkook was resting back in the cushions, brown orbs fluttering as he struggled to keep them open.

He’d been working extra shifts at the bar, something you hadn’t really noticed. A few projects had been due so you were more focused on getting those done than hanging around with people.

Yeji had whined to you so you decided to hang out with her for the evening the other night.

Jungkook texted you this morning asking if you were busy and wanted to chill. You anticipated a little more than watching a movie but you didn’t want to be pushy, especially since he was so tired.

“Baby,” he called.

He’d started calling you the term of endearment a while back and you hadn’t corrected him, just letting him do whatever he wanted. It was easier than listening to him complain. It also caused flutters to rise in your chest that you promptly ignored each and every time.

“Yeah?” You asked, looking at him.

“What are we?”

The words hung in the air, shocking you entirely.

What could you say to that? Did you... Did you tell him?

No, you couldn’t there wasn’t anything for you to say to him-so in a panic you let out a puff of laughter. Although, Jungkook didn’t share your humor in this situation. And you knew this was going to take a turn for the worse.

“I’m serious, Y/N,” he stated.

“No you’re not Jungkook,” you played it off, the dangerous thudding in your chest making you feel almost sick.

“Y/N,” he said, voice firmer as he sat up and looked at you. “I’ve been trying to ask you out for weeks, but you keep either deflecting me or telling me ‘now isn’t a good time’, when is it gonna be a good time to talk about us?” He asked, eyes glimmering.

“Y-You fuck around with people Jungkook, I’m not interested in dating a fuck boy,” you stammered.

Fuck!

Jungkook’s eyes dimmed.

“Is that all you think of me? Really, Y/N?” He asked. “After everything we’ve done? After everything I...”

He wouldn’t look at you for a moment. Or he couldn’t bring himself to do so. You swallowed thickly and watched as Eden trotted into the room. Jungkook looked to the cat and then to you before letting a defeated chuckle out of his lips.

“Who knew you’d be the one breaking my heart, baby,” he whispered.

Your eyebrows shot up as you looked at him. “J-Jungkook,” you said, trying to get a grip on your spiraling thoughts.

“I think you should go,” he said, still not lifting his gaze to yours. You watched as a few drops hit the couch.

Was he…

“Jungkook-”

“Please Y/N? I really can’t hold out long,” he pleaded, voice thick with emotion.

You scrambled to stand up and head to the door. Eden followed after you and you were about to pick her up when Jungkook called. “I’ll still watch her… I have her papers,” he said, voice hoarse like he was keeping his cries back.

“Okay… Goodbye Jungkook,” you said, walking out of his apartment, mind reeling. So much so you didn’t hear him whisper your name in grief.

“Goodbye baby…”

So much for Fridays being your happy days…

You wandered aimlessly for a while. How much time had passed? An hour? Two? Twenty minutes? You really couldn’t be certain, but you found yourself back at your dorm. You walked in and felt wetness on your face.

You were… crying?

No… You were sobbing. Your chest ached, heart pounding in your head. Why were you crying so hard? Did-Did Jungkook really mean that much to you? Or was it because you weren’t going to see Eden again? Even that thought made a sour face appear, because you couldn’t keep lying to yourself.

Because look where it got you.

Alone, all over again.

You crawled into bed and looked at your phone with watery eyes. No messages. Jungkook had been texting you goodnight recently, and asking if you’d eaten.

There was nothing.

No messages, no calls. And you felt like an idiot for expecting one, for even humoring the thought of Jungkook being okay after what you did. You did exactly what Yeji said you shouldn’t. You played with him. You wanted the relationship without the hard parts. Without the uncomfortable topics of feelings and eventual arguments and fights. And that isn’t fair.

Not to Jungkook and not to you either.

But how do you fix it? How do you tell him… that you actually might have feelings for him as well?

Would you even have the opportunity to do that at this point? Some part of you hoped that you would be able to go back to him. To tell him you were sorry.

But there was a bigger part of you that had no idea how to proceed.

—

You were sitting in the library, Namjoon trying for the fiftieth time to try and explain this portion of your assignment to you.

It had been a week and Jungkook still hadn’t reached out to you. You hadn’t even seen him at school. It was as if he didn’t exist. And that was breaking your heart more and more as time passed by.

Jungkook had become more than a booty call, and you had to him as well. And you completely disregarded his emotions and ran away like a scared puppy. You didn’t even try to listen to him, because at that moment-you didn’t care.

You cared more about your comfort than his emotions and his attempt at creating something more between the two of you.

He’d taken your virginity for fuckssake, but you were the one struggling to commit to him.

“Y/N? What’s going on with you this week? You’re really out of it,” Namjoon said.

You swallowed hard and found tears welling up in your eyes. You’d tried to bury your feelings. You tried to forget about it all. You wanted to move on, but you couldn’t. Because ultimately, you were wrong. You shouldn’t have led Jungkook on. And you shouldn’t have ignored his attempts in the past to possibly move your relationship from a casual arrangement to something more exclusive and intimate.

Possibly life changing at the end of the day.

And there was nothing you could do to stop your tears now.

Because you just wanted him back.

“Y/N? Shit, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Namjoon asked, moving closer to support you. “Hey… what’s got you so upset huh?”

“I-I think I like Jungkook,” you cried.

Namjoon reeled back in confusion. “T-The fuckboy?”

“I-I’ve been hanging out with him for months and we’ve fucked around but he saved my cat and I just like talking to him and-and he’s never thought of me as anything other than me… He’s made me feel like a person and not a studying machine… I fucked it up Namjoon,” you sobbed.

The older man was at a loss of what to do for you, you were still in the library and people were starting to look at the pair of you in concern.

“D-Do you want me to call Yeji? Or Hobi? Shit, uh, I c-can call-”

“Y/N!” Yeji’s voice called through the library, walking over as she started to hold you. “Hey, hey,” she cooed. “Come on, let’s get you to your dorm.”

You sniffled helplessly, like a child recovering from a massive meltdown.

“Yeah,” you whispered, gathering your things as you tried to keep your tear stricken face from plain view. People weren’t outright rude to you generally, but you knew that their impression of you was the cold bitch who only knew how to study.

It was the front you’d portrayed for years, until Yeji started to wear it down and Jungkook demolished it completely. Or so you’d hoped. Especially in regards to him.

Unfortunately for both of your hearts, yours wasn’t ready to hear its own call. To hear Jungkook’s.

Yeji managed to get you back to your dorm, and when she shut the door the waterworks started all over again. You clung to the younger girl and sobbed hard.

“Y/N?! Hey! What’s wrong, huh? What’s going on-”

“I fucked up so bad, Yeji!” you sobbed.

Yeji sighed, nodding as she led you to your bed, sitting down with you while brushing your hair away from your face. “What did you say to him, huh?”

“That he didn’t really want a relationship. That I wasn’t interested in dating someone who fucked around,” you cried.

A deeper sigh came from your friend, before a soft chuckle reached your ears. “I didn’t know it would take this much to get you to date him. Or this many tears,” she cooed.

You turned with your watery and puffy face and looked at her. “What do you mean, Yeji?”

She smiled softly. “When you started looking at his pictures you didn’t go for the sexy ones, you looked at all of the soft ones, remember? I knew you weren’t going to be able to resist.”

You looked at her with your watery eyes and she brought you into a tight hug. “I don’t think this is unfixable, Y/N, that man is kinda a big simp for you. You know he hates cats? Or he used to? He saw you with Eden that night and took her in for you, and has been caring for her with you. I think you have a chance to make this right. Just be honest, and apologize.”

You sniffled, wiping your eyes. “I don’t know where to start,” you said, voice wavering with uncertainty.

“‘I’m sorry’ will probably work just fine.”

--

It sounded so easy when Yeji said it last night as she comforted you. But now you stood with Jungkook’s favorite coffee drink and you could feel your hands sweating. And it had nothing to do with the warm drink in your hands. You held another piece of paper in your hand, but you didn’t care as much about that.

At least not anymore.

You were so nervous. More nervous than you had been when you took your entrance exams, more nervous than the finals you just totally flunked. You had retakes coming up because your teachers were just as shocked at your blatant failing as you were. That was part of the project you’d been working on with Namjoon in the library when you had your meltdown the other day.

But honestly, you’d fail them all over again if it meant that Jungkook would forgive you for being such a grade A asshole. Because he didn’t deserve that.

Without any more ceremony, you knocked on the door.

“Coming!” his voice called through the door.

Your heart stammered at the sound. You didn’t realize how much you missed it after a week of not hearing it.

“Yeah-oh... Hi Y/N,” he said, eyes immediately turning distant. You panicked and shoved the coffee towards him.

“I’m failed!”

Jungkook tilted his head, confused at your stammering voice and the drink being pushed towards him. “You... what?” he asked, needing clarification.

You could feel the embarrassment coursing through you. But you’d come too far to quit now, and you needed to apologize at the very least.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you said, looking up at him with your sad expression. “I failed. I failed you first. And in turn, I failed myself and... and us,” you said, the words falling from your lips without much thought. And once they started, they didn’t stop.

“I failed my finals,” you whispered. “Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I was supposed to be studying. I couldn’t stop thinking about the nights on the couch when we would cuddle with Eden and drink coffee. I missed our laundry days, I missed watching movies. I-I missed you. I fucked up, I disregarded your feelings because I wasn’t ready to accept my own... It was wrong of me and I-I’m sorry,” you breathed.

He seemed stunned.

And to be honest, he was. You weren’t known for apologizing for anything. You had this front that Jungkook could see through the moment he’d approached you in the library. At first he thought you were just hot and wanted to fuck, but as you two started to hang out more, and fuck more, he found that he just thought your closeness and tender heart with tsundere exterior was cute.

Now that you’re here, apologizing to his face. He knew how much this must’ve taken, he’d have to thank Yeji for helping you once more. No doubt the time apart had hurt you just as much as it had him. And he was surprised when he didn’t even want to drown his sorrows in another woman, or alcohol. He just looked at the few photos of you in his phone and snuggled that damned cat he was certain would be the death of him.

But, that was all a conversation you two could have later.

Right now, he was interested in the paper in your hand.

“What are you holding?” he asked, in lieu of an answer.

“My final,” you said, looking at him with your beautiful eyes he swore he could get lost in sometimes.

“Why did you bring your final to me?”

“Because I failed. I failed almost all my finals this semester.”

Jungkook was shocked, because you’d said it but he didn’t necessarily expect you to fail that badly. Was it failing in your eyes or in the eyes of actual academia?

“What did you get?” he asked.

“Thirty-seven percent,” you said with a hot face.

Jungkook was stunned now. Because that was failing. No doubt about it. “W-what? Baby that’s awful... I’m sorry-”

“You called me baby,” you whispered. A small smile on your face. “C-Can I come in?”

He sighed and opened the door, letting you inside of his apartment. You moved inside and set his coffee down on the counter before Eden came trotting into the entryway with a very loud meeeooowwww!

“She’s been such a little shit,” he laughed. “I think she missed you, mommy.”

“I missed you,” you said to the cat, a smile on your features as she rubbed against you and meowed happily. She flopped down on her side and you rubbed her face and belly, surprisingly remaining unscathed. When she seemed content and pranced away you stood and turned to Jungkook again. “I missed you too. A lot.”

Jungkook smiled at you. “I missed you too, baby,” he said. “I accept your apology.”

Your heart hammered in your chest, looking at him with a tenderness he didn’t see coming. “I-I want to be with you, Jungkook.”

He came closer, bringing you into his arms, kissing your temple. “Then that’s where you’ll be, baby. With me.”

With that he moved his lips to yours, wrapping his arms around your lower back and squeezing you tight to his body. You sighed happily, curling into his warmth and embrace as you felt the course of want throb through your body. Jungkook’s hand moved from your lower back to your ass and squeezed. You gasped into his mouth and he smirked. “Yeah? Wanna have make up sex?”

You flushed at his blatant egging you on, but you also hadn’t had him in so long and you really wanted to kiss him and hold him. As mushy and gross as that was, it made your heart flutter to know he wanted you just as much. You didn’t want to be ashamed of the joy this man brought you. So you kissed him back as your answer, following his lead to his bedroom. Jungkook squeezed your hips and kicked his door shut.

“Jump baby,” he encouraged. You did as he asked and jumped into his waiting arms, making a soft squeak when his hands grabbed onto your ass.

“Jungkook,” you murmured, kissing his jaw and up to his ear. He sighed in pleasure as your sweet mouth worked eager pecks into his skin, causing goosebumps to raise along his arms and neck.

“Yes, fuck...” he groaned, cradling your neck as he carried you to his bed.

After a few more hot kisses he laid you down carefully, towering over you with a hungry expression on his face, but also feeling oddly emotional to have you now.

“Gonna fuck you baby,” he promised, bringing his lips to yours once more. His mouth was warm and comforting as he teased his tongue inside. You let him in and let the heady kiss continue to fuck you up more and more.

“Want you,” you breathed. “I always want you, Jungkook... Want to be yours,” you whispered.

“You are mine,” he growled, capturing your mouth again and again. It seemed you could barely breathe without him trying to steal the very words and breath from your lungs through his kiss.

You lifted your legs to cage in his waist as he started to press you further and further into the bed. With devious hands you tugged on his shirt to pull it off his body. He let you, allowing the material to fall to the floor and surging back to connect your mouths.

It didn’t occur to you how much Jungkook liked kissing you until you had him trying to suck your soul out of your mouth like this. But it only added to the heat and desire in the situation. To be desired and to desire someone, it was consuming the two of you in this moment.

You were consuming each other. And you couldn’t stop, you didn’t want to stop. Ever.

“Jungkook~” you called when he started sucking on your neck and shoulder. He bit down and caused your legs to squeeze his waist from the pleasure.

“Yes baby, fuck...” he encouraged, dipping on hand under your skirt to touch your soaking core. “So wet...” he marveled, licking and sucking his way back to your mouth. “Let me touch?”

“Yes! Please, please touch me,” you begged, rolling your hips forward. You’d been with Jungkook several times at this point. You knew what to do to make him crazy, and how to pleasure yourself with his body against yours.

He groaned, your pleading tone making his cock throb with need. “Want my fingers pretty? Want me to make you cum on my tongue?”

You nodded quickly, the idea of his hot mouth on your aching center had you mewling his name. “Jungkook! Jungkook please,” you cried.

“Of course, love eating your little cunt,” he moaned, pushing your skirt up and away from your center. His greedy hands pulling your panties to the side and he didn’t waste any time before connecting his mouth to your wet heat.

“Jungkook!” you cried, head falling back into his sheets as he pleasured you. “Fuck, feels so good!” You found your hand tangling into his hair, tugging as he licked at your clit with his tongue flattened.

If there was one way Jungkook would like to go out of this world, it was with his head between your thighs, because he was sure this was the closest thing to heaven. You tasted incredible to him, and your sweet whimpers and mewls while he ate you out drove him insane in the best way.

You were writhing in pleasure, Jungkook pushing two fingers inside your heat to egg you closer to the orgasm you desperately craved. He moaned when you gave his hair another sharp tug, making his hips buck into the mattress to try and relieve the pressure in his lower stomach and throbbing cock.

“Baby,” he groaned. “Taste s’good,” he slurred against your pussy. It made your mind dizzy with how much he enjoyed pleasuring and tasting you. You worried about it when you first started having sex. You thought men didn’t particularly like it, and before you’d even started you worried he wouldn’t like it or wouldn’t be interested in doing it but boy oh boy. Jungkook very quickly proved you wrong.

He seemed to get off on it almost as much as you.

“Jungkook!” you whined, feeling his fingers thrusting inside you gingerly to ease you into opening up. “Baby~”

“That’s it, my good girl,” he purred, licking at your clit again to give you the extra push he knew would send you over the edge into bliss.

Your legs tensed around his head and Jungkook moaned into your core as you found yourself being thrown into your orgasm with little warning. “Jungkook! Fuck, I’m cumming!”

He eased you through it, gingerly thrusting his fingers while softly kissing your core. “Good girl, cum for me...”

“Baby... Need you, let me suck your dick? Please? Wanna taste you too,” you pleaded, reaching for his pants.

Jungkook was a weak man for his girlfriend begging to suck his dick. Especially when his girlfriend was you. Your sweet pleading eyes looking at him. How could he resist?

“Of course baby, all for you...” He said, standing up to pull his pants and boxers off in one swift motion while you tugged your shirt and bra off frantically, tossing them to meet his on the floor.

Once you two were naked, Jungkook approached with his hard cock in his hand as he slowly pumped himself to relieve the desperate ache he felt. “Gonna suck me baby?” he asked, watching with hooded eyes as you lowered yourself to the floor on your knees.

“Yes, wanna suck you off,” you said, kissing his lower stomach with tender kisses. Jungkook sighed happily at your sweet mouth but soon you were replacing his hand with your own, pumping his length while biting your lip and looking into his eyes with your demure gaze. “You know, I’ve never been one for nicknames in the bedroom... but I think I can make an exception...”

Jungkook raised his brows at you, hips jolting at the thought of you calling him a name in the bedroom. You’d kept it pretty basic with ‘baby’ and his name, which wasn’t a bad thing. He much preferred your helpless cries of pleasure than any name...

But, Jungkook was also a rather simple man in the bedroom and he had the common name kink.

“Gonna call me daddy baby?” he asked, teasing your lip with his thumb.

“If you want,” you said, licking his tip and opening your mouth to let some of his cock move inside your warmth.

“Fuck, yeah,” he nodded. “I want you to, please baby...”

“Yes daddy,” you purred, taking his cock deeper in yet.

Jungkook dropped his head back, succumbing to the pleasure that was your pretty mouth. You had learned rather quickly how to suck his dick and he couldn’t say he wasn’t appreciative. It wasn’t easy to learn someone else’s pleasure and how they liked to be treated and handled outside the basic respectful ways, but you had always known his tells and spots almost right out the gate.

It was honestly almost annoying at first. But fuck if it didn’t feel amazing right now. You massaged the tip with your tongue while gently bobbing your head along his shaft and palming his balls with a firm yet careful grip.

His hand came to collect your hair in a ponytail that he gathered in his fist as you kept sucking him off. His mind reeled with the pleasure your hot mouth gave him, his abs clenching gently at your gags and chokes as you continued to push his cock further down your throat.

“Yessss, baby, fuck-lemme fuck your throat? Huh? You’ve gotten so much better at it,” he asked, raising an attractive brow at you and you couldn’t help the wetness that pooled between your thighs.

“Whatever you want, I’m yours,” you said, opening your mouth further and letting him grab your head a little firmer before starting to shallowly thrust inside your mouth and throat.

You inhaled through your nose, easing your throat to relax as he kept thrusting gingerly. “Doing good baby, keep breathing, fuck-argh, your little mouth feels so fucking good,” he growled, gritting his teeth as he felt your throat constrict around his cock.

You gagged softly as his dick hit the back of your throat and even pushed a little beyond. But the expression he wore on his face made your thighs clench. He looked so fucking hot like this, eyes hooded and glazed with lust and sweat starting to form on his temples. You wanted to please him, so you swallowed causing his thighs to tremble slightly from the pleasure.

“Fuck, Y/N, need to fuck you now. Or I’m gonna bust down your throat,” he sighed, pulling you off of him and licking his lips. “Want me inside you baby?”

You nodded, getting up and heading to the bed. Just as Jungkook went to the bedside table to grab a condom you reached for his hand.

“Hey... You haven’t fucked anyone else right?” you asked, voice small and soft.

He shook his head. “No baby, not since we started.”

“Then... I’m on the pill, if you want to go raw?” you asked, voice sheepish.

Jungkook’s eyes widened. “You-You want to?”

You flushed in embarrassment but nodded. Because it was true. You did want to have him that way. “I-I want to know what it’s like.”

He moved in closer to kiss you, watching you drop back onto his bed and nestling into his sheets. Jungkook brought his hand to your center to find you soaking, making a soft smirk spread across his features. “Want me to fill your pussy baby? Want me to cum inside you?”

You nodded eagerly. “Yes, yes please daddy, fill me up?” you begged.

Jungkook wasn’t going to deny a request as sweet as that. “Spread your legs,” he said, moving his hands from your center to hook into your knees as you moved to accommodate him between your thighs.

“Please baby... don’t make me wait anymore, I missed you so much,” you whimpered.

“No more teasing baby, I’ll put it in,” he promised, running his cock between your lips to get it wet with your juices before he pushed in slowly.

You whined as you felt the full feeling of him moving inside of you. “Kook~” you mewled, reaching for his hand. He intertwined your fingers, bringing his other hand to your thigh to hold it in place.

“Yeah baby? Feel good?” he asked, setting a steady rhythm that had your heart thudding in your chest.

“Yes daddy! Feels so fucking good, love your cock in me,” you breathed, squeezing his hand as he picked up the pace and started pushing into you faster.

“Wanna fuck you hard baby, wanna fuck your pretty pussy full of my cum,” he growled, moving to kiss and suck at your chest. You whined and wrapped your arms around his neck as he thrusted inside you.

You could feel every inch of him. As practical and smart as condoms were, holy shit this felt incredible. You could feel him, the heat of his cock and the hardness that sent your mind into a dizzy swirl of arousal and desire.

“Please... Please fuck me baby, wanna feel your cum,” you hiccuped, crying out when he took your nipple in his mouth and sucked on it.

You felt a shiver of bliss run across your body, Jungkook’s body moving on top of yours and creating the desperate ache of your orgasm building within you.

Jungkook was panting against your skin, holding your leg up as he pounded into your wet heat over and over again, making his own mind swirl in desperation. “Fuck... fucking tight pussy, you feel so fucking good baby... Like my cock inside you? Like me fucking you hard?”

“Yes! Yes daddy!” you sobbed, gripping his back and digging your nails in as Jungkook groaned in pleasure.

“Such a wet little cunt, you like this big dick huh baby? Like daddy fucking you hard with his big cock, like a good little slut. Feels so good, shit,” he groaned, rutting his hips into yours and encouraging you to grind your hips against his. “Yes, just like that.”

“Kook! Kook! Baby,” you cried, moving to kiss him as he aggressively fucked you into his mattress. The lewd sounds of skin clapping together filled the room, your moans and cries flooding Jungkook’s ears.

“Yes, fuck yes give it to me baby, fuck yourself stupid on my cock,” he snarled, biting down on your shoulder as you tugged his hair. “Want to see you cream baby, need to feel your tight pussy cum on me.”

Jungkook kept his pace firm inside of you, effectively slamming you into his mattress as you held onto him for dear life. He hadn’t been rough with you like this in a while, but it was also not aggressive in the way you thought it would be. Even though he was fucking you like a savage, it was from a place of passion. He couldn’t hold himself back because you felt too good, he wanted to feel you.

Every inch of him filled you and had you gasping and clinging to him. “Please baby, wanna cum! Wanna cum for you daddy, make me cum for you?” You pleaded.

“Of course, pretty girl, I’ll make your pussy cum hard for me. Make you cream this cock,” he panted. “Want to see my cum pouring from your cunt, fuck!”

“Then give it to me,” you said, your legs hooking behind his back as he fucked into you harshly.

“Fuck! Fuck, Y/N,” he moaned, bringing his thumb to your clit to urge you closer to the edge he found himself rapidly approaching. It had been a while since he’d had sex with you and he hadn’t gone raw in a long while and he knew he wasn’t going to last nearly as long as he’d hope for.

But you didn’t seem to be too concerned about it, just as eager to cum for him as he was for you.

“Cum baby! Please, right there! So close,” you cried.

“Y/N! Baby! Fuck,” he growled out as he bucked his hips into your aggressively while painting your insides white with his thick cum. You gasped at the feeling of his cum inside you and it threw you over the edge into your own orgasm.

Jungkook ground against you harshly, whining his release. “Fuck baby... Made me cum so fucking hard, good girl,” he mumbled out, bringing his lips to yours sweetly. “Breathe baby, breathe with me.”

You followed him, looking into his bleary eyes with your own fucked out ones.

It wasn’t nearly as long as it usually was, but you didn’t give a damn because it was some of the most intense sex the two of you had thus far.

Hopefully there were more fun things like that in your future.

Meeeeooooowwww!

You and Jungkook startled at Eden moving out of his closet.

“Oh what the fuck, did the cat watch us?” Jungkook lamented.

“She doesn’t care-”

“How did she even get in here?!” he sighed, already coming down from his orgasm as he pulled out of you. His eyes connected with your dripping core and he couldn’t help himself. He moved forward to lick your center when the cat jumped up on the bed.

“Hi baby,” you cooed and Jungkook sighed.

“I’m a little busy cat,” he grumbled, looking at your center with wanton desire. You smiled and sat up to place a sweet kiss on his forehead.

“Want to get in the shower?” you asked, raising a brow at him. “She hates water.”

“Yes, lets go-”

Meeeeooowww!

“Shut up cat!”

You giggled at the two of them before leading Jungkook into the bathroom. Your hearts beat against each other as you pulled each other into the shower. Jungkook’s hands were quick to settle on your hips and you could feel the relief at being in his arms again.

It had taken a little finessing, but finally you were able to speak your mind. Speak your truth to Jungkook.

He’d given you his heart and you’d given him yours in turn, and you’d cherish this for as long as you could. You weren’t sure if you were destined to be, you weren’t sure if you’d last a month dating.

But it didn’t matter. At this moment, you two were together.

And that was enough.

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (07)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, mentions of oc's mother because we know girlie is hella traumatized, mentions of drinking, mentions of an almost physical fight, abandonment issues, jk forgets to practice safe driving for 2 seconds, and uhmmm kissing 🤫, anddd that cliffhanger? 👀 rating: 18+ (minors dni) word count: 10.8k note (1): this is the longest it has taken me to update obs and i do feel pretty guilty about that. but it's finally here now and this is one of the chapters that i'm the most nervous about posting. massive thanks to @daechwitatamic and @/wintaerbaer (edited 2024: crossed out but not removed bc even tho she plagiarized obs afterward, she did beta this for me so i guess i still gotta give her that lmfao) for beta-ing this for me or else i would've screamed cried thrown up and scrapped the whole thing, and to @jeonwiixard for being a wonderful cheerleader as i was writing this, and to everyone in my beloved obs discord server for always being so sweet and kind and putting a smile on my smile every day since the server was created. also to my sunshine ☀︎ for introducing me to the song mentioned below bc HELLO is it not just one of the most obs coded songs ever. love you all my babies <3

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist join our OBS discord server ✨

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Somewhere in the multiverse There's a me and you that works We never fuck it up We're out there still in love Somewhere in the multiverse Maybe that's enough

multiverse - Maya Manuele ft. PEMRBOKE

Sometimes, whenever you look up at the moon at night, you wonder if Jungkook is doing the same thing.

Even when you fall out of love with someone, it still hurts. It hurts because you once loved them so much it felt like the sky would collapse if you couldn’t be with them. It hurts because the love wasn’t taken from you, but rather it started slipping away on its own, more and more each day until you realize you’re holding onto nothing when there once was everything.

You can’t say that you’re too familiar with that kind of hurt though. You’ve never fallen out of love before.

You don’t think Jungkook is too familiar with it either, at least not when he left you.

You wonder if he thinks about you from time to time and gets sad. You think he does, because you know that he loved you. Something ended for him too. The memories that you shared were his memories too.

You hope that it’s painful for him whenever thoughts of you cross his mind, because that would mean that he cares. That a part of him still cares.

And if he still cares, then he might come back.

Despite the front that you try to parade around, there is a part of you that will always leave your heart vacant for him, regardless of whether or not he would return. It’s a scary thought, one that you would rather avoid at all costs, one that says there will be no one that you love more than you loved Jungkook. Maybe there can’t be another person that you will love at all.

You can come back quietly, like the wind slipping through the crack I leave in the window at night; or you can announce your return resoundingly like a sudden downpour quenching the summer heat. I don’t care. I kept your side of the bed empty and warm, waiting for you to come back. Hoping that you would come home.

[08:47] Yoongi: sure you don’t want me to drive you there? [08:48] Yoongi: i can pick you up in 30 [08:52] You: positive 🤧 i told you i already booked the train. it’s only 4 hours away [08:53] You: i’ll survive, yoongs [08:55] Yoongi: did you not watch Train To Busan? [08:56] You: ? [08:57] Yoongi: what if there’s a zombie apocalypse [09:00] You: yoongi if there’s a zombie apocalypse, how is your CONVERTIBLE supposed to keep me safe [09:01] Yoongi: i’ll put the roof up [09:02] You: stop talking [09:02] You: please stop talking. [09:03] Yoongi: 😡😡😡 [09:03] You: 😇 [09:03] You: gotta get dressed now though. i’ll see u when i get back? :) [09:05] Yoongi: fine [09:06] Yoongi: safe travels. text me when you get there :)

You plop onto your bed with a sigh, glancing at the bag that’s already packed and sitting near your wardrobe, lonely. You stay like that for a while, contemplating whether or not you should bail at the very last minute.

It was not on your bingo card that you’d be here, agonizing over your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding. Nope. Absolutely no one saw it coming.

For fuck’s sake, why would they invite you to a wedding? A celebration of love? It feels like you’re being forced onto a prank show, just waiting for someone to jump out and scream in your face.

You learned that the wedding was for close friends and family only, so it would be a relatively small event, which makes it even more confusing why you were also asked to join. Maybe the world is changing too rapidly and you’re just a little old-fashioned for it, but you really don’t understand why your ex-boyfriend’s family would want you there.

Taehyung and Jimin were invited too; they’re Jungkook’s best friends after all. They’re practically an extension of the family, Jungkook’s brothers by choice. But Taehyung doesn’t come back from his work trip until the day of the wedding, and Jimin… Well, he just doesn’t want to go to a Busan wedding in the middle of winter.

So why are you even going?

You could’ve declined. Said you couldn’t attend because the invitation came in so late. Made up a work trip or a family emergency. There’s a plethora of excuses you could’ve used.

Or you could’ve simply said no. That would’ve been perfectly fine too. No one would even need to ask why.

But maybe it was because his mother had customized the invite with her own handwriting in the back. You would’ve missed it if you hadn’t spent hours meticulously studying the card like someone was going to quiz you. It wasn’t anything special - just We hope to see you there - but you think you’d feel really bad to decline after she’d made the extra effort to ask you to come.

When you told Yoongi that you would be attending Jungkook’s brother’s wedding, he didn’t seem upset. Still cool as a cucumber. Although if he was bothered by the announcement, you don’t think he would’ve let it show. It did take him a minute to take it in, but then he just pecked your cheek and asked if you could bring a plus-one. You both knew that you wouldn’t even if that was an option.

Pushing your body off the bed, you drag yourself to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. Then sunscreen. Then change into the clothes you’d already picked out last night. Your train doesn’t leave for another hour and fifteen minutes, but you want to be there at least twenty minutes early just in case. This is one of your only good habits.

You rub your eyes when you finally haul yourself outside, thinking you must still be dreaming because what is Jungkook’s car doing here?

You blink a few times, expecting the vehicle to disappear in a puff of white smoke.

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

The car is in front of you, but the man is nowhere to be found.

You stand there dumbfoundedly, contemplating whether you should wait it out for a little bit to see if he’s actually here. He comes running up to you a couple minutes later, holding two paper cups in his hands, one of them a chai latte. A memory you’d buried long ago comes rushing to the surface. It’s too early for you to be feeling.

“Hi,” he says, his warm breath coming out in a huff of smoke in the crisp morning air.

“Hi?” you mutter dumbly when he trades the bag in your hand for the drink. There’s a moment where you’re genuinely baffled, wondering if this is a memory reel playing right before your eyes. This is your Jungkook, wearing that same old smile whenever he used to come bounding up your dorm building so you could walk to the library together, where he would hang out with you during your shift if he didn’t have classes. “What are you doing here?”

You don’t remember telling him what time your train was, so he’d probably badgered it out of Taehyung or Jimin somehow.

“I thought I could drive us there,” he says. “I texted you about it.”

Well, that explains it. You don’t bother with his dozens of messages anymore. “Oh, uhm, I already booked the train.”

This doesn’t seem to faze him at all. “Free cancellation up to 15 minutes before departure.” Jungkook grins, clearly eager despite your obvious reluctance. It’s too early for this, whatever the hell this is.

When you told him that you had RSVP’d yes to the invitation, he was surprised that you even knew about the wedding. He even seemed nervous that day.

“What if I’d already left?” you ask.

He blinks, then stammers like a confused child. It’s cute, and you have to mentally slap yourself over the head for even thinking that.

“Then I’d go after you.”

How? you scoff internally. Unrealistic.

Regardless, not even an hour ago, you were declining Yoongi’s offer to drive you there. Now, you’re standing here, in front of your ex-boyfriend, contemplating whether or not you should go with him.

“Let’s go,” he says after a minute. “We don’t wanna be stuck in traffic.”

“I haven’t said yes.” Yet. “It’s a 4-hour drive.”

You don’t have to clarify what you mean. He understands it.

You both just stare at each other for a moment, the tension suddenly thickening with every passing second. Four hours on the road. Four hours alone in a car with Jungkook. That’s about two hundred minutes more than you think you can handle.

It’s like he can see right through you. “Don’t think about it,” he says, voice dropping lower. “It’s just a weekend. Everything will still be here for you to think about when we get back.”

In your head, it translates to: All of our shit will still be here when we get back. You can keep being mad at me then.

You hope that’s not true. You hope that when you get back, the things that keep you up at night will simply cease to exist. That in the two days you’ll be gone, a genie will materialize and solve all your problems for you.

Either way, it’s probably for the best that you aren’t mean to him this weekend. You’re stuck with him for the next 48 hours or so; it’ll only stress you out even more if you channel all of your energy into tormenting him. Besides, you’re already the ex girlfriend who has no place alongside his family. You don’t want to be the dark cloud raining on everyone’s parade too.

Maybe you’d already made up your mind when you let him take the bag from you.

For the first half of the drive, you were unconscious.

It’s a useless superpower that you have, the ability to fall asleep anywhere - literally anywhere, including in the passenger seat of your ex-boyfriend’s car while he escorts you to his hometown. Melatonin gummies manufacturers hate you.

You could’ve slept the whole drive, but around the second hour mark, you were startled awake when your body jostled forward, straining against your seatbelt uncomfortably. There was an arm trying to hold you back, despite the seatbelt having done its job well.

“Fuck,” Jungkook curses before he turns toward you, worry written all over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, are you okay?”

You blink, still half asleep. “I’m okay,” you say. The minivan that Jungkook almost rear-ended continues on its merry way, carrying what seems to be a family of five. “What happened?”

He sighs, his outstretched arm retreating back to his side. “I got a bit distracted, that’s all.”

You take in your surroundings then. There’s barely any other cars in sight, no tacky billboard that sticks out like a sore thumb to catch your attention. There’s just the freeway, stretching on empty for all you can see.

“By what?” you ask.

“Nothing,” he says. “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we get there.”

See, you have the superpower of falling asleep anywhere and everywhere, but once you’ve been woken up, it’s not as easy to fall back asleep.

That, and the fact that you’re hungry as shit.

You open your mouth, about to say no, about to offer to drive the rest of the way if Jungkook is tired, but your stomach doesn’t let you get a word out. It growls, filling the space of the car, making you want to chuck yourself out the fucking window and run all the way back to the city. This wouldn’t have happened had you taken the train, because if you had, there would’ve been food services and no one would be subject to hearing your stomach sing like it’s chewing out a small puppy in there. Life is nothing but an endless pit of embarrassment and despair.

Your arms hold themselves tighter around your frame, practically squeezing into your abdomen as you will it to please, please, please be quiet. Jungkook stares at you, and you can tell by the teeny tiny quirk of his lips that he’s trying to bite back a smile. He’s relaxed, but there’s still something hesitant on his face. It takes him a minute before he finally throws the question out.

“Do you want to go to that guksu place that we used-” that we used to go to, “you know the place. The one that’s right off the freeway?”

The sun is out today. The sky unfolds endlessly just outside the window, coloring blue everything your eyes land on. There are strips of clouds scattered here and there, like delicate strokes of white paint on an azure canvas. Even the winter cold has to soften.You bite into your cheek. Don’t think, that’s what he had told you.

Not much about this quaint restaurant has changed. The quirky decorations are still where they used to be, the windows still the same unique stained glass that you never came across anywhere else. You remember the elderly woman who runs the place, even if she doesn’t have a single clue who you are. The golden retriever you used to fawn over every time you stopped by, sits quietly by the door and watches the cars pass by, his fur now graying as weariness begins to settle into those old bones.

You would’ve been displeased if the place had changed, because, well, you don’t like change. But then again, this familiarity is dangerous. It tricks you into thinking that everything is still the same, even you and him. Deludes you into believing that you’re still in love and that he’ll walk out of here holding your hand.

Regardless, the first spoonful has you biting back a smile.

“How is it?” Jungkook asks.

It makes you feel all warm inside, and then a little sad, nostalgic.

“Tastes just the same,” you tell him simply.

“Hmm.”

He lets you satisfy your hunger in peace. It’s the least he can do anyway.

There’s a wall near the back of the restaurant, where people could hang polaroids of themselves and cute handwritten notes. You think if you dig through the hundreds of photos scattered across the space, you might be able to find you and Jungkook there, if you two haven’t already been thrown out long ago to make room for new memories.

He pays for your food after you’re both finished, despite some protesting on your side. As you leave, you’re busy thinking that if you could have a moment to marvel at that far-back wall of memories, if you could find a photo of you and him there, you would probably sneak it into your coat pocket.

It’d be another thing to add to your pile of Jungkook memorabilia - the old clothes in the back of your closet, the stack of dusty polaroids at the bottom of your drawer. You wonder if he keeps anything of yours, maybe an old t-shirt that you forgot to take back. It’s probably unlikely, but a girl can hope.

You miss the way Jungkook glances back, thinking the exact same thing.

You survive the rest of the drive with more ease, probably because of the food. You spend most of the remaining 2 hours leaning against the window, humming to the radio, closing your eyes but not really sleeping. You even forget to be nervous about what is to come.

That is, until the car pulls up to the venue.

It’s absolutely gorgeous, and a lot bigger than you imagined - a modern beach house overlooking the waters. It’s not as extravagant as one would expect to see when they come to a wedding, but considering the small crowd in attendance, this is more than enough. You see people rush in and out of the place even from far away - planners, caterers, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, probably.

You feel a bit comforted just watching this. His family seems to be doing a lot better than before. It’s nice to know.

You barely make it out of the car before someone calls your name, and pulls you into a hug that knocks the wind out of you. Although, when you catch the scent of her hair, you instantly know who it is.

Parents usually have a scent that’s distinct to only their kids, a scent so cozy and homely that no perfume can ever mask. You can only describe your mom’s scent with a feeling, specifically the feeling of your chest tightening, tingling with a bittersweetness that you never found elsewhere. 

Strangely enough, Jungkook’s mother has always made you feel the opposite. She makes you feel relieved to be in her embrace, like she accepts you for who you are even if all you are to her, at the end of the day, is a stranger.

You hug her back awkwardly, hesitantly, in front of Jungkook’s dad, his brother Junghyun, and a girl you don’t know. You assume that she’s the bride-to-be, the main character whom this weekend revolves around. Sooji, you remember that was the name on the wedding invitation.

You get choked up suddenly, eyes turning glassy though you quickly blink it away. You’re not sure if you’ve had someone be so happy to see you. Bypassers might even think that you just found the cure for cancer.

For a second there, you wonder if your mere presence has ever made your mother this overjoyed.

You look at Jungkook for help, silently asking him to rescue you. Who else are you supposed to turn to if not him?

He understands that look. “Okay, mom,” he says, entangling her arms from you with ease, “Y/N’s tired from the drive. Let’s let her rest, yeah? I’ll show her the room.”

She ignores her son. “Honey,” she says, brushing your hair away from your face so she could see you better. “Thank you for coming.” She used to insist that you call her “mom”, or at least by her first name because “Mrs. Jeon” was too formal for someone she considered family.

You now have to opt for the latter, because “mom” isn’t an option for you anymore.

“Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Jeon,” you tell her with a smile. You’re not really sure what else to say, but it makes you a little sad just calling her that.

She opens her mouth before closing it again, seemingly about to jokingly scold you for the formality before she recognizes the bittersweet look in your eyes. She just smiles at you then. There’s not much to be done about it.

You don’t know if anyone else sees how the moment is weighed down. Probably not. Maybe it’s just you and her who share this sentiment.

Jungkook doesn’t wait for his mom anymore. Sons, typical. He wedges himself between the two of you like a bulldozer and leads you inside the house. 

Even though all you have is an overnight bag, Jungkook carries it for you all the way up to your room, which is only down the hall from his. Then he disappears pretty quickly afterward, saying something about his best man duties and putting out fires. He seems apologetic as he tells you this, but it’s not like you’re expecting him to babysit you all weekend.

You bore yourself to death in your room for a while, before you remember you have to text Yoongi to let him know you got here safely. Though, you stop short of telling him that it was Jungkook who drove you here. It’s trivial enough, right? You don’t want Yoongi to feel bad over nothing. You do, however, inform Taehyung and Jimin when you text them about it, to which Jimin only responds with a preemptively disapproving ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

When you get too stir-crazy, you wander outside, hoping to explore the beach before it gets dark and colder. You try to stay out of everyone’s way, because a good guest is a quiet guest. You seem to be doing a good job. No one notices you, not even Jungkook’s mom but that’s because she’s the person you actively want to avoid the most. You don’t know what you’d even say to her if she gets you alone.

Everything is hectic, as one can probably imagine when it comes to wedding preparations. You haven’t had anyone close to you get married yet, so it’s safe to say that you’re pretty much clueless about all of this. You wonder what it’ll be like when your big day comes around, if you even ever get married. You haven’t thought about it in a long time. Why would you? You don’t really have a reason to think about this. It’s much easier to picture Taehyung’s or Jimin’s wedding day than your own.

Your opinion on having kids still remains the same, and you were never one of those girls who daydreamed about having a big and extravagant wedding, but it’s not such a bad idea to ponder about. You still think marriage is a scary thing - it’s one of the biggest commitments a person could ever make - but you’re not entirely opposed to getting married. 

Why are you even mulling over this? Your time might never even come.

When you round the corner to get the steps that would lead you down to the beach, you run into Sooji and a woman holding a thick binder - must be a wedding planner. You give Jungkook’s future sister-in-law an awkward smile in greeting, which she returns much more gracefully before she tells the woman that she’ll be with her in a minute.

So now you’re stuck here, about to make small talk with a person you have never met before, and will likely never see again. Great. 

“Hi,” you say, extending a hand. “I haven’t had the chance to introduce myself. I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Sooji,” she replies warmly as she shakes your hand, and you have to stop yourself from being a little weirdo and thinking about how silky her hair looks up close. “You’re Jungkook’s… friend, right?”

You purse your lips before nodding with a chuckle. The pause tells you that she knows, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she’s uncomfortable having you here. 

“I’m sorry if this is weird. You probably don’t want a complete stranger at your wedding.”

Sooji shakes her head instantly, waving her hands around to dismiss your apology. “Please, it’s totally fine. Junghyun’s mom talked to me about it before we sent out the invites. I wouldn’t have agreed if I was really bothered. Don’t worry about it, seriously.”

“Why did you agree?” you ask, trying to sound as polite as possible. “You don’t know who I am.”

“I guess I was curious.” She shrugs, before laughing lightly as she says, “I used to think you weren’t real.”

“Huh?”

“She talks about you constantly. Never in front of Jungkook, of course. But she’s really fond of you, and you probably already know that doesn’t happen very often. She really does see you like a daughter. She made you sound too good to be true.”

You’re not sure how to respond to that. His mom still thinks about you, still talks about you after all this time. You’re just his ex-girlfriend, but she considers you her family. You don’t know what to do with this information nor the way it pinches your heart.

“I-” You purse your lips, fumbling with the responses in your head. You settle on a light laugh, because Sooji can probably tell that you’re struggling with the words too. “I have to be honest. I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know that you’re still very much loved here.” She gives you a kind smile, and it looks like she wants to tell you something else but decides against it in the end. Sooji’s eyes land somewhere behind you before she points in that general direction. “I have to go take care of an issue with the flowers, but look, Jungkook is here. Why don’t you ask him to show you around?”

And then she’s already off. Overall, what a… strange interaction.

You turn around to see Jungkook standing near one of the entrances to the house. As you watch him talk to someone - a bridesmaid, you assume, or just one of the other guests - you try not to think about the fact that there’s a stirring sensation in your stomach, and that it only intensifies when she throws her head back in a pretty laugh, a perfectly manicured hand landing on his arm like he’s the most charming person she’s ever met. 

You don’t give it a name, don’t label it green in color even though you’re blue and he’s golden sunshine. You don’t acknowledge that it’s a feeling, because doing so would make it real and there are certain truths that you’d rather delude yourself into thinking are lies.

When Jungkook’s eyes catch yours and he cuts off the woman mid-sentence with a curt excuse me, you don’t acknowledge that feeling either, but it’s warm and it blooms in your chest as he makes his way to you. It’s something victorious, something that tickles your ribs.

He comes to you like you’re a destination he’s been waiting all his life to reach, and you certainly, adamantly don’t acknowledge the spectacularly dizzying feeling that swallows you whole when he places a gentle hand on your arm, his voice soft as he says, “There you are. I was looking for you.”

The familiarity, it’s catastrophic.

“I was just walking around,” you tell him. “There’s not a lot to do here. I was bored.”

“You have me,” he says. Probably not in that way, but you’d like to think that’s how he means it. “I don’t have any more fires to put out. What do you want to do now?”

You glance over your surroundings, still set on your original plans. You wanted to go alone, but you suppose you can let him accompany you. You check the time on your phone before asking, “Can we go down to the beach? I wanna see if we can catch the sunset.”

You used to do this whenever you came here to visit - walk along the beach, hand in hand, sunlight in your hair and the cool breeze holding you tight in the afterglow.

The keyword here is “used to”. Now, you have to stuff your hands in your pockets just so you don’t reach for him every time you shiver.

It’s late enough in the afternoon for you to see the moon faintly shine against a blue and orange backdrop. Sun and moon, together in the same frame. It feels symbolic somehow. You’re not really sure.

“The moon looks like an egg,” Jungkook observes astutely, taking casual strides next to you. It makes you burst into easy laughter, which makes him laugh with you too. You stop walking when you reach what you think is a good spot to watch the sky. 

“Let’s sit here for a bit,” you say. It’s not the greatest idea - sitting idly by would only make you colder - but you just want to stop and look at the sunset. Once you’re seated in the sand, you respond to his moon remark, “That’s true, y’know. NASA said so.”

“Yeah,” he says, settling down beside you, “you made me read that.”

You’d forgotten about it, and you didn’t think that he’d remember. It’s freezing cold and the moon looks like an egg, but you’re not thinking, and you feel safe. Nothing can hurt you here, or at least that’s what you’d like to tell yourself.

You wrap your arms around yourself to keep from shivering, but you still shiver anyways.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

“A little,” you admit. “I should’ve worn a thicker sweater. But it’s o-”

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence, just smoothly takes off his jacket to put it around your shoulders.

You put your hands atop his to stop him. When you touch him, there’s an electric tingle that almost makes you flinch. He feels warm, still resembling a human furnace. 

“No, you don’t have t-”

“Take the jacket, Y/N,” he says. “It’s just a jacket.”

The jacket smells like him. It only makes you want to crawl further into the warmth.

He seems more self-assured here, that’s what you notice. More like the version of himself that he used to be. Confident, sometimes borderline cocky. Annoying but oddly endearing, you came to love that about him.

His relaxed demeanor is understandable. You’re merely a visitor here, while this is his homeground. 

“I’m curious about something,” he says after a while.

“Okay.”

“What’s the deal with Wednesdays?” he asks. 

“You know how they say bad things come in threes?” You purse your lips, thinking it over, feeling something bitter in your mouth as you recall the events that led to this. “My parents got divorced on a Wednesday. I moved out of mom’s house on a Wednesday. And…” You hold your knees close to your chest as you hesitate to utter this last part, “we broke up on a Wednesday.”

You see the exact moment Jungkook mentally slaps himself, paling a couple shades as he tongues his cheek, not expecting his question to inadvertently lead back to this. It wasn’t your intention to guilt trip him. It was true that he dumped you on a Wednesday, but you don’t want the mood to turn sour, to have to mull over this again. Like he said, it will still be there for you to worry about when you get back. You’re not looking forward to returning to a shitshow, but what you’d hate even more is to tarnish the memories of this place just because you can’t keep from being vindictive for not even a weekend.

“I was born on a Wednesday too, so I guess bad things come in fours sometimes,” you continue, chuckling to yourself humorlessly.

A frown appears on his face almost instantaneously. “What is that supposed to mean?”

You shrug. Jungkook turns his body toward you, which makes you spare him a glance before you return your gaze to the horizon. His face is so serious that it’s almost funny. “Y/N,” he presses. “Why would you say that?”

“C’mon, it’s a joke. I was just being self-deprecating. Lighten up.”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“Like what? Contrary to popular belief, I don’t walk around with a thundercloud over my head all the time,” you laugh lightly. “I figured if there was a day to be nice to you, it should be today. And tomorrow, I guess.”

“This is you being nice?”

Funny how just a few weeks ago, you were fighting with him and calling him a hypocrite. Now, you’re sitting together, watching the sun set, trying not to be mean to him.

“I’m not picking a fight with you,” you say. “This is nice enough.”

“It’s not even my wedding.”

“Okay.” You glance at him again, letting words flow without a single thought. “I’ll be even nicer to you on your wedding day then.”

You don’t know where that even came from, but something aches the very second the words leave your mouth. The thought of him getting married one day makes you just nauseous, even though you always knew that it was a possibility. It might even be inevitable.

You clear your throat, waving the sullen feeling away. Your body shivers then, even after the added warmth of his jacket. Maybe you’re not shivering because of the cold anymore.

He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his eyes linger on the side of your face. The both of you keep tiptoeing around an elephant that follows you wherever you go. 

You hug your knees close to your chest, watching the blue sky melt into the golden horizon, splattered with ribbons of cotton candy clouds.

You want to scooch closer to him and have him wrap his arm around your shoulders. This isn’t the spot where you used to draw your names in the sand, enveloped in a giant heart like two lovesick kids, but wouldn’t it be nice to imagine that it is?

“I was always really happy here,” you mumble to yourself.

You were, truly. This city was your pocket of hope, your piece of peace.

Being here brings back so many memories.

It’s the same feeling you get every time you pass by somewhere you used to live. The nostalgia of walking down the same road you used to walk every day until your shoes wore out. The familiarity of your surroundings. The bittersweetness of looking into a past you cannot hold anymore, of remembering the person you were at a certain period in your life, of knowing the things you do now that you didn’t back then.

You long for things you cannot change.

Nostalgia only grows stronger with time, you can always count on that.

He hums in agreement, before admitting quietly, “I miss you.” One pulls, the other pushes. The water wavers, like it’s touched by his words, simple but earnest. You’re touched too, somewhere in your heart, where you know you should be writing someone else’s name now.

Should?

“You’re pushing it,” you say softly.

“I know.”

You look at him. Maybe it’s because you’re back in the city that holds only good memories of you two. Maybe you’re hypnotized by the way the pink and purple hues kiss his side profile, making him feel like a fever dream and not someone you loved. Maybe it’s the cold, making you yearn for any source of warmth. But instead of returning his sentiment, you say, “It’ll pass.”

He meets your eyes. There’s something pleading in his gaze. All things pass eventually. Time moves forward, people move on. Bad things will pass sooner or later. Your worst heartbreak, your most arduous trials, your saddest moments, they will all pass.

And good things… good things will have to pass too, whether you like it or not.

Your fingers twitch from where they’re still holding onto your body. You itch to reach for his hand. You don’t tell him what he wants to hear, even though here’s a part of you that wants to say it back. In a better world, you would be telling him I love you too, instead of having to suppress an I miss you too.

“All things have to pass eventually. This will too.”

[20:05] Taebear 🐻: we could go to that bar near the gallery. Y/N likes the cocktails there [20:06] Mimi 🐥: kay kay [20:06] Mimi 🐥: soooooo next friday? [20:09] Mimi 🐥: why is y/n reading our messages. shouldn’t she be at dinner [20:09] You: i approve of the bar choice [20:11] You: if you didn’t want me reading your messages, you shouldn’t have sent them to the gc [20:11] You: and if you must know, i’m skipping dinner. i’m avoiding Jungkook’s mom [20:12] Mimi 🐥: understandable. i figured you would do that [20:13] Mimi 🐥: how’s it going? are we regretting going yet? i told you to just stay home and we could binge watch the office together [20:15] You: and EYE told you that you could be a good friend and go to this wedding with me but nooooo baby doesn’t like the cold [20:16] You: you could’ve visited your parents while you’re here you know. two birds with one stone [20:18] Mimi 🐥: babes my parents stayed with me for a whole month last month. i reached my quota for family face time  [20:19] You: son and friend of the year 👏 [20:20] Mimi 🐥: 😎😎😎😘

[20:22] Taebear 🐻: hey [20:23] You: uh oh. am i in trouble? why is this not in the gc? [20:25] Taebear 🐻: lol shut up [20:26] Taebear 🐻: you okay? [20:28] You: feels like that could’ve been a perfectly good question to ask in the gc [20:29] Taebear 🐻: because it’s a serious question and we both know Jimin can’t be serious for one minute to save his life [20:32] You: why does it have to be a serious question? 🤪 [20:32] Taebear 🐻: 😕 [20:33] You: stop pouting. i’m fine [20:35] Taebear 🐻: are you? [20:36] You: i am! you don’t have to go all mama bear on me [20:39] Taebear 🐻: ha ha ha. you’re so funny [20:40] Taebear 🐻: want me to call you? [20:42] You: i said i’m fiiiiiine 🙄 [20:43] You: but also no because i told everyone i was tired and i’m pretending to be asleep in my room right now [20:43] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:43] Taebear 🐻: did you eat something at least? [20:44] You: i have a cup ramen in my room [20:45] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:46] Taebear 🐻: how was today? did JK make you wanna strangle him? [20:48] You: okay Kim Taehyung at least act like you have some faith in your friend lol [20:50] You: but mmmmmm it was ok. he was mostly behaving himself [20:51] Taebear 🐻: mostly? [20:54] You: we were down at the beach and he just told me he missed me out of the blue [20:55] You: Mimi is asking why no one is replying to him  [20:57] Taebear 🐻: i can see that [20:58] Taebear 🐻: what did you tell JK? [21:01] You: i quoted fleabag to him [21:09] Taebear 🐻: i had to google that [21:10] Taebear 🐻: i still don’t know what that means [21:11] You: i know you don’t lol. you’re adorable [21:11] You: i’ll tell you when i get back.  [21:13] You: ok bye i have to sleep early or i’ll look like ass in the morning [21:14] Taebear 🐻: oh. okay [21:15] Taebear 🐻: sleep tight. remember not to gorge yourself on booze tomorrow [21:17] You: thanks for the reminder. love you mom 🙄💕 [21:17] Taebear 🐻: :) [21:20] Taebear 🐻: you won’t look like ass btw

You clocked out right after you told Taehyung that you would. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep though. The anxiety simmering in your belly woke you up a few times throughout the night. You don’t even know why you were anxious. It’s not like you were the one who was about to walk down the aisle.

When morning finally came and you managed to untangle yourself from the surprising comfort of your familiar bed, you practically dragged your feet for the subsequent two hours, trying to get ready. As if that would actually slow down the passage of time.

You had to compartmentalize the things you needed to do in a mental checklist. Makeup. Hair. Dress. Stare at yourself in the mirror for half an hour and internally freak out while waiting for Jungkook to come get you from your room.

Now you’re sitting in the wedding hall, watching people filter into the room. It’s not even a lot of people, but you’re still overwhelmed regardless.

You feel so exposed, even though he’s the only one looking at you in this room of strangers. He’s been looking at you like that ever since he first saw you this morning, in a dress that you got just days before the wedding. You still don’t know if it’s entirely appropriate for your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding - maybe a bit revealing - but it was the only one you could find on such short notice.

When you tried on the dress for Taehyung and Jimin a few days ago, Taehyung said you looked beautiful. Jimin said you looked decent, “six point five out of ten,” which translated to “pretty nice” in Jimin-lingo. That would’ve been enough if you were going to any other wedding, not one where Jungkook would also be attending.

You had wanted him to see you and regret ever leaving you.

It was a silly thought, just a tad adolescent.

You had wanted him to see you in your dress and be consumed with thoughts of you until he couldn’t even see straight. To be the only thing on his mind, you didn’t think it was a lot to ask for.

That was before he told you not to think about it and you’d been convinced to just go with the flow just for two days. It was before he actually did see you earlier today in your dress - a simple midnight blue satin cowl neck with a slit in the thigh - but you were the one rendered helpless and speechless. He had stared at you for a minute when he came to walk you down from your room, then he’d said, all breathless even though both of you were just standing there, “You’re beautiful.”

You’re beautiful, not You look beautiful.

You don’t know why, but you appreciated it.

It made your cheeks burn underneath your artificial rosy blush. Stupid, you thought to yourself when you two made your way to the main hall. Stupid for letting yourself get dizzy because of a single compliment from him.

You’re seated with his parents, which makes sense because you don’t know anybody here except for them. Well, maybe you know one of his cousins whose kid you and Jungkook used to babysit whenever their family was in the city, but you doubt that he even remembers you anymore.

When the ceremony begins, your heart instantly feels like it’s about to drop to the pit of your stomach.

You can’t lie to yourself. It stings.

It stings just sitting here next to his parents like a daughter-in-law, like a member of their family, watching his brother solidify his happy ending.

It stings that Jungkook is standing up there, looking as handsome as ever, but his eyes aren’t on the couple. They keep flickering to you no matter how much you try to pretend that they don’t.

It stings that even though you don’t think about marriage often - or maybe you just don’t allow yourself to - you can’t deny that the thought does cross your mind from time to time. Any time that you’d wander the corridors inside your head, you’d pass the doors that you keep unopened on purpose but there’s always that one door marked with a bright red X that you can never sidestep.

You watch Junghyun and Sooji with their teary smiles and shaky hands, shaky but happy. There’s a sudden clarity that this could’ve been you and him in another life. Forever is a lie, but you would’ve perjured yourself a thousand times for him. I do - you would’ve meant it.

You imagine yourself in Sooji’s place, and Jungkook, standing right on the other side, holding both your hands in his. A beautiful and radiant bride terrified of the altar. A dashing groom with a smile that could rival the sun and shoulders weighing heavier than he lets on.

It would’ve looked clumsy, but it could’ve been right.

You wonder if he’s wondering the same thing. Maybe he is. You hope he is.

When the ceremony ends with a kiss shared between the newlyweds, you wipe away the tears that well up in your eyes. The people around you do the same thing, but they’re doing it for the right reason, out of genuine joy for the happy couple. You don’t think you can say the same for yourself.

Some of the bridesmaids fawn over him. It’s reasonable, you suppose. One tends to do that in the presence of Jeon Jungkook.

You watch as they come up to him one by one to ask him to dance, watch as he politely declines until they’re all stalking away with similar pouts on their faces. You watch him until his eyes lock on you, sitting at a table near the back, nursing a glass of champagne.

He weaves himself with ease through the people making their way to the dance floor. When he’s in front of you, he holds out a hand.

“Dance with me?” he asks, his doe eyes working overtime to lure you in with their sparkles, though you’d rather stay here where you can easily go unnoticed until the night ends. “One song?”

“I don’t know how,” you say, even as you’re taking his hand and standing up.

“I showed you how, remember?”

“That was a long time ago.”

He squeezes you reassuringly. “Just follow my lead,” he says, walking the both of you to the floor. “C’mon.”

Once the music starts, your heels stomp on his feet at least three times before you start finding the beat to move along to. Muscle memory, or whatever, is bullshit. You remember absolutely nothing of what he showed you.

You’re grateful that the song is slow, because it makes it easier for you to follow the beat with your two left feet. He takes one of your hands in his, the other settling on the small of your back, guiding you to move in a steady rhythm.

You feel his mother’s eyes on the two of you, because she must be somewhere nearby, watching you like a hawk. You feel his gaze on your face while you keep yours on the knot of his tie, just trying to keep your composure and to not step on his feet with your heels.

The blur of white that you catch from the periphery of your vision makes you turn your head. Sooji and Junghyun are close by, swaying together slowly to the soft music, both of them glowing with happiness. She must sense your eyes on her, because she lifts her gaze up to meet yours. She smiles at the sight of you and Jungkook, and you smile back, because you don’t know how else to respond to that.

You don’t say it, but you do think it. Your fingers tighten around his hand ever so slightly.

Could that have been us?

If the answer is yes, then it would hurt.

If the answer is no, then it would hurt.

The point of your story is that it’s painful however you choose to look at it. There’s no other way to frame it. It’s just painful, because you’re never going to get any of it back.

You bite your lip, then turn away from the happy couple but you still don’t look at Jungkook. You look at your hand in his, and that’s when you see it.

“How’d you get that?” you ask, gently tracing the inch of slightly raised skin on his knuckles. You never noticed the scar until now.

“It was four years ago, I think? After Taehyung and I almost got into a fight, I went outside and… punched a wall,” he says, wincing as he recalls the memory.

His answer takes you aback. “You and Taehyung got into a fight?”

“Almost,” he corrects. “It was a long time ago. Didn’t they tell you?”

“No, they didn’t say anything. What happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

“If it was really nothing, you wouldn’t have punched a wall.” You frown. It makes you miss a few beats, but the song isn’t what’s important now, even if Jungkook is still trying to steer you back into the dance. “Taehyung isn’t violent. You aren’t violent.”

“I’m serious,” he says finally. “It’s nothing. We were just drunk and stupid.”

You know there must be more to it, that something must have happened or been said to trigger such a reaction from both of them. But you also know that you won’t probably get anything out of Jungkook if he doesn’t want to tell you.

You give up, for now. “Fine. If you say so.”  You’ll just have to weasel it out of Jimin later.

The song comes to an end, before another one comes on. If Jungkook remembers that he only asked for one song, maybe he’s counting his blessings that you’re still here and dancing with him, because he doesn’t mention it.

For some reason, you pull your hand away from his, only to slide up his shoulder to lock both of your hands behind his neck. He seems surprised, but he does the same around your waist.

Jungkook’s gaze flickers to your lips briefly, then back to your eyes again. You find yourself doing the same and wonder what he tastes like after all the time you’ve been apart. Is he still as sweet as you remember? You used to tease that it was because of the excessive sugar he put in everything, but you knew it was really just him. The few inches between you are so inviting that it’s practically tempting you to close the gap. You could, easily in fact. Blame it on one too many glasses of champagne later if you want.

He looks younger like this, like the boy you loved, starry eyes and dimpled smile. His shoulders are always the most comfortable resting place, the crook of his neck your long lost home. This is nice, you think, to see him again even though it feels like a fever dream. Memories of your first date, your first kiss, come to life before your eyes so realistically that you could almost touch them.

Loved? That sounds funny to you.

The people you used to be, souls wrapped in innocence, when the world was nothing but the arms of the person you loved. You reach out, and the memories quickly fade from view. The only trace they leave behind is a speck of gold on your fingertips, a memento of charming naiveté for you to tuck neatly away in the corner of your mind, but also a reminder that ah, they only exist in the locket of your heart now. Because he has changed, and you think you must have too. Life, as they say, goes on.

“We made it. Kind of. That’s crazy,” you find yourself saying.

“Did we?”

“You don’t think so?” you chuckle. “We’re in a group chat with the Kim Seokjin who spams it with bad jokes on a daily basis. I’d call that a win.”

That makes him laugh. “If you put it like that, yeah, maybe. Sure.”

Other people might be fooled, but it doesn’t sound at all convincing to you. The light doesn’t really reach his eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek, thinking of how to translate the sudden poignant turn of the moment.

“It isn’t everything you hoped it’d be?” you ask.

His shoulders rise then fall quickly in a second-long shrug. “I thought it would make me feel more… fulfilled. But it doesn’t. Not really.”

The way he says it and the way he’s looking at you makes your heart dive. You understand what he means. You’re good at what you do, and you don’t need reassurance from anyone to recognize that. But sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Doesn’t feel like it’s real, like it’s validated.

When you landed your first big project, even before Yoongi, you were so proud of yourself. You were bursting with excitement but you weren’t happy, and you knew what the reason was. Something was missing that couldn’t be filled, not even with all your friends’ hundreds of messages of encouragement. 

It’s beyond stupid, this feeling like your wins amount to nothing at all just because of one person. You wanted him there to celebrate every achievement with you and he wasn’t, and the milestones seemed incomplete without the presence of him. It doesn’t feel like you’ve accomplished anything because this always used to be a dream you thought you’d make come true together.

“It’s lonely,” he concludes.

It sounds like he feels the same way, like he wanted you to be there too.

He suddenly holds you tighter than you think he needs to, like he’s afraid to let go of you. You imagine that he doesn’t want to let go of you, and it makes you feel better for a second. But it doesn’t change the fact that he still did in the end. And he will have to when this ends.

What was the point of this? Why did he bring this upon yourselves when he seems to be as hurt as you are? All of this time, all of these years, lost to what? You could’ve been happy together but instead, you were both lost and miserable.

When the music stops - you lost count of how many songs it’s been - you pull away from him. He looks disappointed, maybe even a little hurt for some reason.

“I’m gonna get some air,” you say, already turning away from him.

“Y/N-”

“I need some air.” Then you’re weaving through the dancing couples despite Jungkook calling your name. How did he manage it? How did he not look back when you called out for him?

You hastily grab your coat on the way out. It’s not going to keep you warm, but that’s not something you’re even remotely concerned with.

It’s everywhere, you feel it down to your bones.

The wind wraps itself tightly around you, intertwining in your hair, slipping through the cracks of your fingers, caressing your face in a chilling touch. You greet the cold like a long lost sister, shivering violently with nostalgia. It was there for you more than your own flesh and blood.

Is that why you like the sea at night? Because it reminds you of mom?

It’s dark out here, barely anything is visible except for a lighthouse sending out light in the quiet of the night. You can’t see much, but you can certainly hear it. You’re not sure if the music is coming from inside the venue, or if it’s still ringing in your ears. It’s probably the latter; you’re too far away to be able to catch the music anyway. But regardless, the tune is quickly drowned out by the sea.

The waves crash violently against the shore like it’s out for blood. There’s a magnetic pull, as if it’s calling out for you. You want to go to it, to reach out and feel the cold outside of your body for once, but you stay there despite your legs itching to stand up and run straight ahead. Into the water and down under.

You could lie down and close your eyes for a moment. The sound of the water, as sharp and brutal as it is, nurtures a part of you somehow.

You just want to be alone. You don’t want to talk to Taehyung, or Jimin, or even Yoongi.

Oh.

Yoongi.

It’s a terrible feeling, knowing that you’re going to hurt Yoongi. Knowing that you’re going to kill this even before it has a chance to truly begin.

Truth be told, you can’t envision a future with Yoongi. There isn’t anything wrong with him, because he’s not the problem here. Yoongi is fun, he’s considerate, he keeps things light on purpose for you, until you’re ready to initiate something more serious. He’s good for you, even Taehyung thinks so.

But you can’t love Yoongi, not in the way that he wants you to. Not more than you love Jungkook.

There you go. Ruining things again.

Did you ruin Jungkook? Is that what happened?

The layers on you are no match for the sea at night. The wind hisses relentlessly, biting at any part of your skin that’s exposed.

It takes you back to that night. Almost everything does, actually.

Maybe that’s why you never even stopped to consider starting anything with anyone, because it always ends. If there’s a beginning, then there will be an inevitable ending. Love isn’t made to last and you aren’t meant to carry love with you. You’ve been abandoned twice. If it happens a third time, it’s a pattern, and then your hypothesis will only be proven. That the problem here is you.

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t wondered when it’ll finally be Taehyung’s turn to leave. He eventually will, right? That one’s gonna hurt.

Then, you’re startled when someone calls your name.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks. The wind and the waves masked the sound of his footsteps walking up to you. When you turn around to face him, his eyes grow worried, almost panicked. “Why are you crying?”

You breathe out irritatedly before you hastily wipe at your cheeks. You didn’t even realize that you’d been crying. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine,” you say, though you both know it’s a lie. “I’m just tired. I’m going up to my room.”

He catches your wrist in a firm grip when you try to walk away. You wish he’d just leave you alone, but you knew he wouldn’t drop it just like that.

“I said I’m fine,” you insist.

“You were crying,” he says. “Did I do something wrong?”

He didn’t, at least not tonight.

God, you really don’t want to do this right now.

“Jungkook,” you warn. “Let go of me.”

You try to free yourself from his grip, hoping that he’ll get the hint and back off for now. Instead, he pulls you into his chest, where you struggle to escape from his hold until you realize your efforts are futile. He takes the wind’s place, wound tightly around you, so tightly that it’s nearly impossible for you to move.

You hiss out his name, but he doesn’t budge. 

“Jungkook, can you just- Fuck!”

Damn him.

You realize he’s not giving up, which in turn makes you give up struggling, hoping that if you let this be a moment, then it’ll be something that can pass.

You’re just standing there, letting him hold you, letting yourself be held by the person who broke you in the first place. This feels exactly like where you’re supposed to be - in his arms, with your face hidden in the crook of his neck, his gentle fingers stroking your hair. There’s not a lot that you could do but lean into that feeling the same way you lean into him. One foot in the sand, one foot in the past. A hand on the doorknob of time, wondering if you should look back or look forward.

You want to be alone, but that never used to apply with him.

The wind stills, the sea calms. You remain unmoving too, locked in his embrace. You feel the faint rhythm of his heart, beating faster than you think it should. If you could, you would bottle this moment up and live there forever.

I miss you, you think.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.

Then your arms are around him too. It only makes him hold you tighter, and all you can think about is how much you miss him, how painful it is to miss him, how you feel like you’re being pulled apart at the seams from the weight of missing him. 

Fuck.

Can you pretend that the last few years never happened? Is there a higher power that would allow you to go back to the night before that wretched Wednesday, when everything was still perfect? Hundreds of days of your life, can you pretend that it was just one long nightmare? When you wake up, you’ll be back in his humble apartment, tangled up together in his bed. Warm sunlight, your silken youth, and him. It was all you ever needed.

Again with the devastating familiarity. The city, the beach. His mother’s warmth that always made you reminisce about your own mother’s coldness. How Jungkook used to find you in moments like this and just stayed by your side until the dejection passed. He understood that he could never understand it the way you did.

You hear yourself sniffle, then you feel him press a kiss into your hair. Home is comforting.

Oh, you never want to leave.

You don’t want to leave, and that’s terrifying.

You allow yourself to stay there for one more second - one endless second - so you could commit to memory what it’s like to be with him. Back and forth. It’s always so easy to fall into him.

Jungkook releases you when he feels you loosen after a while, and you reluctantly meet his eyes as he tilts your head to face him.  His fingers cradling your jaw, how warm and delicate they feel on your skin.

You swallow thickly, your mind going blank. He’s the only person you see, the only one that matters. His eyes flicker south, and even then you don’t make any move to run away, despite his loose grip on your waist telling you that you can if you want to.

You told him that it would pass, and maybe for him, it will. For him, it’s the city and the moment, making him feel like he’s caught up in a page that he’s turned over a long time ago. He was fine with leaving, and he’s been fine without you. It will pass for him, as much as it hurts you to admit it.

But not for you. For you, there’s only him. There’s nobody else but him. It’s always been him, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that there will be another person you can love as much as you love Jungkook. You might only be a page, perhaps even a chapter, in the story of his life, but he’s your entire book. He’s volume after volume after volume, until he takes up the whole shelf and leaves no room for anything else, not even for yourself.

And now here he is - at the biggest turn in your career.

He’s a bad blood cell you can’t ever get rid of.

You’ll never be able to truly let go of him. How could you? When you truly love someone, those feelings will carry on forever. They’ll always have a piece of your heart despite an ending. When you look back on a certain period in your life, you’ll think to yourself, You’ll always be a part of me. I loved you then.

But Jungkook is a force of nature. He has your whole heart.

Years and years from now, when you look back on your life, you know you’ll see him everywhere. Even when you’re old and gray, and when faces all just blur together in a mosaic of broken memories and long lost youth, you know you’ll still remember him - the person you loved, the one whom you let slip through your fingers. The great love of your life when you were young.

Sometimes, you regret that day. You can’t help feeling like it was your fault too. Maybe you should’ve tried harder to keep him. You should’ve fought harder, should’ve held onto him instead of standing there and watching him leave.

He lit the match, and you let the house burn. It takes two to tango, two to break a heart.

You’re quick to let people leave. Oh, how you wish it could be that easy to let them go too.

It isn’t until your eyes mimic the flicker of his gaze that he leans in. You meet him halfway. For the first time in years, you feel like you could breathe, truly breathe. It’s achingly slow, like neither of you can believe that this is happening. 

You sigh against his mouth when his tongue brushes your bottom lip, slips past the seal to devour you. It feels like a perfect dream. You could stay in this bubble with him forever, pretend that you’re the only two people who exist in the world and there’s nothing else, no one else, waiting for you in a city that seems so far away right now. The thought of him never left you, not even for a second. He’s always been with you everywhere you go, no matter what you do, always in the back of your mind.

He tastes like your youth, like remembrance. He kisses you like he’s still yours when deep down you know that you’re still his. The hand on your jaw is gentle but firm, and it makes you repeat a thought, I miss you.

Then a feeling, I love you.

Not then. Now.

I love you now.

I love you even when I shouldn’t. Even when it hurts. Even when you leave me. Even when you don’t love me more than I love you. If there comes a day where you love somebody else, I will still love you then. There will never be another person for me but you. My first and only love.

When he pulls away, you think it’s too quick, even though your lungs are grateful for the breath that you instantly inhale. You stare at his lips like you’re in a daze, mesmerized, wanting to chase them again. You don’t even know how you have it in yourself to utter these next words, but you hear your own voice saying them anyway.

You’re holding onto him now. Doesn’t that count?

“Let’s…” Your fingers tighten on the collar of his dress shirt. “Let’s go up to your room.”

note (2): so... what do we think?? will they?? won't they?? 😵 stay tuned for obs7.5 which will be dropping 29.09.2023! also i'm gonna pause obs muse asks for a little bit! 😬

all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted september 24, 2023]

[oftenderweapons]

Natural Connection | KNJ | Ch.5

A Small Town Swoons story

Pairing: Namjoon x reader (nicknamed Plum)

Wordcount: 3.6k

Genre: stragers to lovers, fluff, mild angst; ranger/trainer!Namjoon, Chef!reader

Rating: 18+

Synopsis: Plum wakes up needy, too bad Namjoon has already left her room. Their confrontation doesn't go where expected.

Trigger warnings: swearing, semi-public sex. Making out, grinding, dry humping, mutual masturbation, peaches and cream (i guess???). Musings on unprotected sex. Just a pinch of postcoital misunderstandings. Feral, possessive kissing and light biting.

A/N: Holy moly it's been two years???, but I guess it's better late than never, right? 😅💖 I decided to post this only now since I've already written the final 2 chapters. It's been tought, but I've decided it's time to return to this story and finally complete it (even though Ranger!Joon will be oh so dearly missed. I really didn't want to let go of him LOL, esp since it's time to drop this sunshine baby's full back story 😞🥺🥺🥺)

Here is my Masterlist, enjoy!

Navi: Part 1 – Part 2 — Part 3 – Part 4 - Part 5

When you saw Namjoon the next morning, you only remembered waking up to an empty bed. 

It wasn't a pleasant feeling and you weren't ready to acknowledge it like a mature, emotionally stable adult. 

“Good morning, Plum,” he murmured, standing very close beside you as he waited for his band of jocks to join you. 

“Morning,” you replied, a bit grumpy, but hiding it behind the pretense of courtness. 

“Did you sleep alright?” he asked, gentle and apprehensive. 

“Uh-huh.”

“Not very wordy, mh?” He nodded to himself. “Okay.” And just like that, conversation was over. 

You hated having him right beside you and wasting time in silence when all you wanted to do was hear him talk, but apparently you had to make do with what you had. 

The guys arrived all together maybe two minutes after he stopped talking to you. 

“Okay, let's stop by the equipment office so you can all get your climbing gear.” 

Cruelty didn't even begin to cover the ugly feeling coursing through your every limb. It was a sour kind of betrayal, both from your own body and from the person who has so perfectly won you over in nothing but four days of half smiles and hard work and competent guidance. 

It felt like your stomach was being played tennis with, slammed from one side to the other. 

Namjoon seemed entirely oblivious to the wretched state you were in, especially once he knelt in front of you and tugged at the straps around your thighs, slipping two fingers in between the harness and your skin to make sure there was enough space for your muscles to flex comfortably. “All set?” he asked, but his voice was dark and once his eyes shot up to your face he couldn't hide a flicker of lust lighting up his guts.

This angle, he thought, was just the same as when he'd lifted your leg and placed the back of your knee over his shoulder, his nose diving in the metallic, earthy scent of you. 

He was getting hard. He could tell. 

But you took a step back. “Yes.” Your reply was glacial, and it seemed as if you couldn't remove your harness fast enough. 

“I'll be right back,” you told him over your shoulder as you headed for the closest restroom in the sports hall. 

Namjoon just nodded and watched you go.

“What did you do to her?” Jackson asked him, an unwelcome afterthought, like his personal little devil perched on his shoulder. 

“I have no idea,” Namjoon replied, sincere and confused. 

“Did you tell her something rude? With your typical lone wolf harshness?” Jaebeom pitched in. 

“Who made her mad?” Asked Wooyoung, staring at your figure as you dashed across the hall. 

“Namjoon,” said Jackson, not even bothering with stating that maybe you weren't mad at all, and that Namjoon had done absolutely nothing to upset you. 

Yet, it was his interaction with you that had made you dash. Or so he thought. 

“Go check on the girl, you fool! Didn't mother teach you anything?” 

All the guys turned in Bangchan's direction and he seemed to quote, “Broke your heart I'll put it back together, I would wait forever and ever, and that's how it works, that's how you get the girl.” 

Jackson and Jaebeom just stared at him, as if they couldn't recognise their friend at all. 

“She literally said what every girl wants and we still act like girls are a mystery. Just listen to them, for goodness’ sake.” 

Namjoon nodded for a couple seconds, then started in the direction you went. 

He entered the corridor to the restroom, and hesitated by the shared washing room that gave access both to the men's toilets and the women's ones. He walked through the women's door. Three other doors in front of him. 

He really, wholeheartedly hoped there weren't other women around. 

“Plum, are you okay?” 

Silence followed. 

“I know you're here, Plum. I just need to know you're alright. I don't know what I said or did to upset you, but—” 

A door opened and for a second he thought he would die of mortification, then he registered your face. 

Relief, at first. 

Then something else. 

Your cheeks were aflame, and your chest too seemed to be on fire. 

Your lips were as red as he'd ever seen them, and it wasn't makeup because he hadn't noticed any bright colour on your face earlier. 

“Are you okay?” he asked. 

You nodded, still speechless. 

“You don't seem okay. What is it? Did I—?” 

“I am fine, Namjoon. Don't worry. I'm alright. Perfectly okay.”

“But you—” 

“Wonderfully fantastic, Namjoon.” Your tone was clipped 

You made your way to the door when he stepped in front of it. “Are you?”

You rolled your eyes. “I just told you so!” 

He pinched a lock of your hair in between his thumb and forefinger, straightened it, then released it. “You were grumpy this morning.”

“Just stressed about climbing.” 

“Nothing to do with me, so?” 

You rolled your eyes. Why would he be so perceptive? “Absolutely not.” 

“Am I frustrating you?” he asked, and stepped closer. 

“Yes, immensely, with all your questions and— The guys will be suspicious. Do they know you—” 

“That I came after you? Yes, they saw you dash and suggested I check in on you, which I wanted to do myself, but I wasn't sure it was a good idea, and their validation sort of helped. I know you're mad at me, I don't know why, though!” 

You narrowed your eyes at him. “You don't know why?!” 

You tried to sidestep him, but he was like a wall in front of you. “I don't.” 

“I woke up! Alone! I was…!” You gesticulated as if to complete your accusation, but the words wouldn't come out. 

“I see,” Namjoon replied, and he immediately noticed it was patronising, which made you seethe at him, pointing a finger against his chest.

“Do not use that tone with me, mister. You could at least have left a note.” 

He looked at you like you were nothing but a tiny little mouse he was about to thwart with his big bearish paws. “I'm sorry, Plum. You're right, I should have left a note.”

It was true, he'd dashed earlier that morning, but it was only because a deer had been found not far from the main road, his hind legs severely damaged, and he'd been called to help the local wildlife ranger to pick the animal up for rescue. “It was an emergency and I dashed out and—” 

“I woke up and you were gone.” Your eyes were wide, perfectly showing the disbelief you'd felt. “I woke up—” you said, and the pause that followed was like you were looking for words and only the wrong ones were coming up. “I woke up,” you repeated, “wanting you,” you added, cheeks aflame again, eyes aimed at him like guns, like saying ‘you know what I mean’, “And you weren't there,” you concluded. 

He stared at you for one or two blinks. “Wanting me?” He asked, and you shoved him back with both your hands, even more fed up. 

He, however, caught your wrists and brought them down to your sides, jutting his chin forward in a cocky expression. “You wanted me.” 

Your cheeks were boiling and your eyes couldn't bear his face any longer, so you turned them down, to the floor. “Yes.” 

“Plum,” he called, his hands trailing up your forearms, all the way to your shoulders. 

You shivered, but he proceeded still, headed for the sides of your neck, then your cheeks. 

“You want me still, sweets?” His thumbs forced your face up, but your eyes were glued to the floor. “Come on, Plum. Look at me, darling.” 

Reluctantly, you did. 

“Oh, sweets,” he spoke, ever so gently, so tender. “I was called on an emergency by the rangers of the local park. We were rescuing a deer.” 

Your pout was still glued to your face, and you weren't sure why. You're used to commandeering around ten men at a time, but this one, this specific man is not a force you can reckon with. 

“I wanted to stay, Plum. I truly did.” He kissed your temple when your initial frustration seemed to subside. “Let me make it up to you, sweets.” 

He touched the curve of your neck with his forefinger. “Was it when I asked about your day this morning?” He asked, his finger roaming across your collarbones. “When I asked how you slept?” His finger aimed even lower, just a few millimetres beneath the neckline of your top. He lowered his mouth to your ear, and when he spoke “Or was the sight of me kneeling in front of you, like when you came all over my mouth?”

Your insides clenched like you hadn't just given them the sort of satisfaction they were looking for.

“How can I make it up to you?” He asked, as if he needed to be in your good graces. “Anything you want, sweets.” While one hand drew the line of your side, coming to rest on your waist, the other rested on your jaw, the pad of his thumb tracing your lower lip, and his brow knit as if he were in physical pain from the longing. And goodness, if he knew how to pine…

You let your lips disclose for him and he inhaled sharply as the warmth of your exhale slithered past his fingertip. 

His right hand slid from your waist to the small of your back, pulling you closer. “Can I kiss you?”

You nodded. 

“Do you want me to?”

You nodded again, and he smiled, so softly it killed you. 

“Use your words, Plum.”

Your heartbeat skipped, your temper now entirely dissolved into warm honey. “Please, kiss me.”

He nodded, his smile so blindingly happy. And he lowered himself to you. 

His lips were soft against your own, so delicate and tentative. No tongue, just tiny pecks. 

He seemed ready to let go of you, but you had other thoughts in mind. He was already rising, and all you could do was grip the nape of his hair, and keep him still, kissing the line of his jaw now that his mouth was out of reach. 

He pulled back, fighting you a little as you kept delivering open mouthed kisses to his throat, by now reaching his collarbone. 

He tipped his head back to make eye contact with you and you stopped. 

“You wannit?” He said, the words coming out like a dark purr, smooth and vaguely threatening. 

You nodded, exasperated, then remembered his correction from before and whispered, “Will you fuck me, please?”

His grin was devilish and helpless at the same time. He shook his head and tried to angle himself away from you, running his hands through his hair. 

He had only as much restraint as a well-disciplined, civilised, mannered man, no more no less. 

Even a saint would break for you. 

You thought he was about to head for the door and leave when he stood before it, locked it shut and turned back to you, with two great strides before slamming his mouth to yours and grabbing your ass, picking you up like you were nothing compared to what he usually lifts in the gym. 

You found yourself with your back to the wall and him pressed up against your front, squeezing you in a way that could have been suffocating, except you loved the way he was so explicit in wanting you, and how easy you could read the restraint he was imposing on himself. 

You ground against his navel and he lowered you just a little, so that your core was square against his pelvis. 

“Woke up late,” you told him in between kisses and gasps. “I stretched over to your side—“

He tried to focus on your words but all he could do was stare at your mouth and register the bits he needed.

“I wanted you,” you said, and it came out like a cry. 

“I know,” he said, soft, understanding, soothing. 

“You weren’t there, and I was late, and I couldn’t—” You gasped as he dove for your throat, biting gently, making you arch into him, against him, your bodies flush against each other. “I was so mad. So frustrated.”

“Let it all out, sweets,” he said, reliable, steady, strong. “Lay it all on me.”

“I didn’t even have time to pull myself together ‘cause I was late,” you whine, and it came out so weak, so silly. 

“I can fix that for you, if you want me to. Just say the words.” He didn’t even need anything done to himself, he just wanted to please you. So many years of well-spent solitude and self-control had taught him everything about patience, everything about himself. It was not his own pleasure he’d learnt to desire, but the pleasure he could give to someone else. 

“Want you inside,” you mumbled, chasing his mouth, needing his lips sucking your own, tongues tangled together. Feeling him through his shorts, through your own shorts too was torture when he could be skin to skin against you, inside you, even.

“We’d need to stretch you first, it’s gonna take a bit, baby,” he reminded you, worried. 

You bit your lip and looked away. “What if I’d already handled that?”

His eyes went wide, then he bit your chin fondly with a curious enthusiasm. “Just cause I looked at you while kneeling?”

You felt your cheeks flush with fire. “You were— It was like when, the other day you—”

“Hold tight,” he said, then freed an arm by using his forearm to hold you up from beneath both your thighs. With his spare hand, he shoved his shorts down before stopping. “Condom. Damn!”

You squeezed your eyes shut, then let your forehead fall to his shoulder. “Please…”

“Plum, I—”

You weren’t on birth control, and you couldn’t risk going bare. You possibly never could. Not with your period being the most irregular thing ever, and knowing that you could be ovulating any day now. 

He helped you slide down his body. “You don’t happen to—”

“Left them in my bedside drawer.”

He let his forehead fall against the wall. 

“I cannot go bare—” you offered weakly.

He kissed your temple. “I wouldn’t ask you that. Not even if we were both one hundred percent sure.”

You bit your lip again, thinking, a frown forming on your forehead. And then— 

You took his hand in yours, dragged him to the washbasin, with its mirror right in front of you, and as you stood against the counter, his body pressed up behind you, you lowered your shorts, exposing your naked behind to him. 

“Plum, I don't think this is a good idea,” he said, biting his tongue. 

“You can just grind and I'll—” You brought your hand to your labia and traced a circle against your core that almost made you shiver. 

“This could get messy,” he said. 

You turned to look at him from over your shoulder and with a flirty smile you added, “I don’t remember it being a problem last time.”

He shook his head and grinned, wolfish and sexy. 

You couldn’t quite align the sight of him now with the person he had been out in public about thirty minutes ago; and it got worse when he grabbed the left side of your face with his right hand and brought his mouth to your cheek, biting it gently, his lips giving it a slight suction, as if he were half between nibbling and kissing. 

Your head was playing some hard rock soundtrack while it all happened, and it was feral, and you were almost disconnected from yourself but it was heavenly. 

It was all heavenly until they knocked at the door. 

You stared at each other in the mirror and he cursed under his breath. 

“Keep going,” you whispered. “Let them eat cake.”

It took maybe a millisecond to win him over, and it got even rougher, his hand was at your neck, grabbing at the base of your jaw, and he gave a little jerk as your eyes rolled shut. He called for your attention and as soon as you mustered the strength to open your eyes, he brought his other hand to the hill of your pelvis, his hand dwarfing you as he cupped you. “Eyes on me, Plum.”

And you kept your pupils glued to his as he stuck two of his beautifully long, perfectly thick fingers inside you. 

Your jaw went slack and he grinned, your hand reaching behind you to grab his ass, pushing him even closer up against you, clawing at his glute. 

This time it was his jaw that was left hanging. 

You were moving just right against each other, and the knocking stopped, and the last thing you knew was that he groaned, head thrown back before you felt it, hot and wet against you. His head snapped forward next, teeth sinking at the spot between your neck and shoulder as he tried to muffle a moan. 

Similarly, you pressed the ball of your hand to your lips as your left one assisted his own between your legs, his fingers inside you while your digits worked on the outside.

He murmured sweet nothings in your ear as he focused on you, kissing, sucking, nibbling at the sensitive skin near your neck and jaw and collarbone. “Come on, Plum,” he whispered. “Come on my fingers, sweet thing. I promise I’ll be so good to you.” His mouth was everywhere on you, and his hand — the one not inside you — was so sweet on your face and your hair. 

“I’ll give you anything tonight, I swear, Plum. Anything you want, you’ll have it. It’s all yours,” he said, back to his chivalrous, servicing self. “You’re so beautiful, so precious, so lovely.” His nose was deep in your hair, inhaling you, the osmanthus and elderflower of your shampoo. “I never thought I would find something like you. You’re unbelievable.”

And there was so much pining, so much longing in his dark and shimmering eyes, that when you looked at him again, you crumbled, your legs giving out, and you were lucky his arms had you locked in his embrace: his left one holding your torso and head upright while his hand cradled your face; his right arm instead ran across your waist and navel, his fingers still deep inside you, and it was only thanks to his forearm that you didn’t melt to the floor. His hips were pinning you to the hard edge of the counter, and you knew it would feel tender later, maybe bruise even, but in the haze of your ecstasy you almost found it sexy. 

“There you go, Plum,” he cooed at you, his smile all gentle and apprehensive. “That’s my good girl.”

Your head fell back on his shoulder and he kissed you on your lips, a polite little peck that made your stomach flutter. 

He was strong, he was dependable and steady, responsible, and it came so easy to you to give up control and just let him take over. 

You’d always been neurotic — is that the right word? — about sex. About letting yourself be vulnerable and weak and passive, but with him you just let yourself float to his current, and that was probably one of the best choices you’d ever made. 

Your eyes opened and when you finally put him on focus, he gave you this dreamy little smile, and just then you realised how rare it is to see his face like that, up close, but also so serene. So… happy?

“Hello?” you said and he shook his head slowly, as if amused. 

“Hello,” he answered. 

And you both giggled. “Are we in trouble?” You asked.

“Not sure. But I’m sure you’re nothing but trouble to me.” He gave you a squeeze as you were still in his arms and you were about to frown, not sure how to interpret his sentence. “Despicable, unresistable trouble.” His hand was still inside you and you clenched a little, ready to take more. He inhaled sharply. “Sweet, lovely trouble.” His thumb skimmed your hipbone fondly. 

You breathed out slowly, trying to steady yourself. “I guess we should go before we get into any more trouble than this.”

He froze for a second, then nodded and let go of you. “Sure. I’ll just clean you up.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “Oh, I’ll take care of that.” 

“I don’t mind,” he said, but he was staring at the floor, and he was covering himself, and you could tell you’d made a mistake somewhere. 

“You sure you don’t mind?” you ask, and he stopped and looked at your reflection. 

You were dishevelled and half naked, but he stared at your face like that was the only thing that mattered. 

“Of course I don’t?” He said, but it came out almost as a question. He grabbed a towel and soaked it under the tap. “I don’t know the etiquette about this kind of situation,” he murmured while rubbing the towel gently against your glutes. “I’d like to think this would be the polite thing to do. Fix the mess I make.”

Is it just a matter of politeness? you asked yourself, eyes averted. “Sure,” you said and smiled, like it’s no big deal. 

Navi: Part 1 – Part 2 — Part 3 – Part 4 - Part 5

Taglist: @blushingatyou @ladykadyrova @sweetjellyfishland @starxclouds @ayanyamnyam (taglist is open!)

[biaswreckme]

delicate | yoonmin

part of a series of (very) short fics inspired by taylor swift songs

"my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me"

Pairing: Yoongi/Jimin

Member: Yoongi, Jimin

Length: 500 words

Genre: angst with a happy ending

Rating: 18+

Triggers/Warnings: implied sex, sad vibes, happy ending, drinking

You can read it on: AO3

The pub, if anyone could even call it that, as it was more of a dive bar, was dimly lit and certainly one in which they did not ask questions and people would not bother looking for them there. Yoongi swirled the whiskey around in his glass, the two blocks of ice clinking against each other, and looked at his phone, waiting for an answer.  He had sent the address a little earlier, and logically knew it could get him even longer to get there, depending on where he had been before, but his fingers still shook slightly as he pressed the buttons.

He was on his second glass - and maybe he had drunk the first quicker than usual - when the door of the shady place opened up and there stood him, Park Jimin, model and South Korea’s sweetheart. And there in that seat waiting for him, Min Yoongi, rockstar, black sheep, and purveyor of scandals galore (albeit none of them true).  

Jimin’s walk was mesmerizing to Yoongi, sultry, enticing, sometimes even without intention. “This isn’t the… best place.” Jimin said.

“But no one will recognize you here.”

“You know I don’t mind…” Jimin started, but was interrupted.

“My reputation is at its worst right now. Are you sure you want to be seen with me?” Yoongi asked, right hand twirling the glass and trying to control the shaking.

Jimin sat down by his side, getting closer to him. “You know that I know the rumors aren’t true. And I don’t care about them.” 

Yoongi hesitated, a spark of hope starting to inflate in his heart. “Still. Our situation is… delicate.”

“Yet you still called me here.” Jimin’s response froze Yoongi, hand halfway to his mouth to sip more alcohol.

Each and every time they would have a similar conversation. Their delicate situation had been going for over a year, and they still had not defined a label or gone public. Yoongi wondered when Jimin was going to get tired of this - of him. Jimin was even sporting dark jeans and sneakers, something Yoongi never thought he would see the model wearing. All for the discretion; meeting in inconspicuous clothes, in shady places, sometimes for mere fleeting moments. 

Yoongi put the glass down with a soft noise on the counter, a confession escaping his lips. “I like to pretend you’re mine.” 

“I am yours. If you want to. If it’s cool with you.” Jimin draped his hand over Yoongi’s. “Is this too soon? I just want to feel your hands in my hair again, feel them all over me.” He took a breath and almost begged for the same thing he had asked many times before. “Come home with me. Third floor with a view.”Yoongi closed his eyes and his fists, hands tight and fingernails pressing into his palms, trying to hold on to his fading determination of staying away from Jimin in public, and failing. He smiled softly. “You truly must like me for me. Let’s go home.”

[sugarushsuga]

Stay there, I’m coming to get you - #83

Genre/Au's: Smut, PWP; Hockey player AU – Friend with benefits(?)

Paring: Taehyung x F Reader

Words count: 2329

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Smut; Fingering; Dirty talk; Public sex; Car sex; Pining;

Synopsis: Taehyung is friends with your best friend’s boyfriend, what doesn’t make you both very close, beside the hang outs and constant teasing each other. But when you need help, he is there to help you, not once but twice in a roll.

Author note: If I didn’t procrastinate I would have it done much sooner. This is Tae’s bday piece. Also is part of my milestone drabble game, the ask for it went to void when Shay’s old blog did it too (Tagging the current one @egocypher) but I never forgot about it.

Masterlist

The ringing tune on your ear makes you anxious, is the third time you call Lolla’s phone, and it rings until voicemail. You know she is enjoying the victory party, but you need her right now and as your best friend it’s her duty to pick up the phone.

Her cheerful voice comes through your ears when you reach her voice mail again. Hanging up you sigh and let your head rest back on the wall. Something you would never do in a different situation. But despair is starting to fill your body and you don’t know what to do. Lolla has been your best friend since middle school, and you both have always looked out for each other, especially after going to college.

You both made a pact that whenever one of you went out on a date, the other had to send a text after the first hour, to know how things were going, if thing are so-so, a call in the next half hour, if things are bad a call right away to give the receiver an excuse to maybe ditch the date or have the friend come.

Today she didn’t send the message, she is celebrating the school’s hockey team classification to the nationals. Her boyfriend is part of the team. You were invited to their celebration, but you’ve already had plans with some other friends. Actually, now you’d say they are just acquaintances, you hoped to become friends.

They are like the cool group from your major, you have a few different classes with most of them. They were the ones who approached you, talking with you here and there, one at a time, in different classes, greeting you whenever you crossed paths on social occasions, until they asked you for lunch and then to hang out at a bar.

You press Lolla’s name again hoping that fourth time's the charm and she’ll pick up the phone.

Maybe you are taking too long in the bathroom, but you don’t really care right now.

The tune rings in your ear for the fifth time, another two times and it’ll reach her voice mail.

“Lolla?” You ask as the line connects and noise comes through the phone.

“No! Y/L/N, Lolla can’t come to the phone right now, she’s having her soul sucked off through her mouth right now!” The cheerful raspy voice, that usually makes your knees weak, says through the line.

“Oh!” You sigh, letting your shoulders drop.

“What is it?” The male voice asks.

“Nothing, I- “

“Wait a second!” He says. You can hear him talking with someone, some excuse me’s and indistinct noises until the voice comes back clearer. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you out with your new friends that are, oh so much cooler than us?”

You mentally curse Lolla for running her mouth about it to Seokjin’s whole team about why you weren’t going out with them after the game. “Yeah,” you roll your eyes.

“So, is it true that you ditched us, to hang with some unknown, much cooler group than us?” He chuckles.

“Hm… I didn’t ditch,” you say trying to explain.

“You just thought they were much cooler than us?” He teases again.

“No, Taehyung. I just…” Your voice fades. You don’t have any excuses; he is right on his teasing, and you just want to find an excuse to leave.

“If you are calling, things aren’t really that nice right now, right?” His voice comes softer, and the teasing is gone.

“I don’t have any excuses to leave, I came here with them. I'm not very familiar with this area and I’m unsure how to leave by myself.” You admit, voice lower as you sigh, remembering you put your own self in this situation.

“Hm, well, lucky for you, here it’s not very fun either. Stay there, I’m coming to get you!” His voice once again has that cheerful tone.

And just like that he is gone.

The line goes mute.

Taking the phone away from your face you see he hung up.

Sighing you get out of the stool and practice a smile on the mirror, you debate yourself if you should try to fix your hair that was sticking to the wall or just leave it. Deciding to leave it you walk out of the bathroom, back to the table where your new “friends” are.

They are talking about the significance of life or something else, you don’t bother enough to join the conversation, just sitting there sipping on your drink waiting for the ice to melt so you can have it for longer. You don’t want to risk getting drunk around people you aren’t close to or very comfortable with.

Twenty minutes later half of the Hockey team burst through the door of the bar with Lolla guiding them.

“Y/n!” She cheers loudly, “what a surprise to find you here!”

She has her phone in hand and Taehyung trailing right behind her looking at her phone over her shoulder. They tracked you. And you thank the gods the day she set up the sharing location app so you both can know where each other are especially when one is out on a bad date. And today you are the one out on a bad date.

“Hey!” You try to sound surprised and not let your happiness show.

“What a coincidence!” Lolla greets your group of friends with a smile.

You look around and there is half a hockey team around the table, Lolla standing with Seokjin by one of your sides and Taehyung on your other side.

“Oh, I think the bar is full.” Jen, one of the new friends, says in a discreet sneer.

“Oh, really?” Lolla responds looking around at the very chill and not full bar. “Yeah, I guess it is. We won’t be able to stay here.”

“But the bar is not full…” Namjoon comments.

Seokjin punches his friend on the shoulder, not even trying to hide it. “Yeah, it’s full, I guess we’ll need to take our victory party home.”

“Yeah, let’s do it guys!” Taehyung says by your side. “Y/n, do you wanna come? It's a free ride home, plus it will be fun, you know all our parties are fun.”

You look in between your friends and your new group of friends and nod. “Yeah, I’m sorry guys, I'll take their ride. We talk on Monday, okay?”

Getting up as you talk, you put the money for your part on the table and follow the hockey players out, Taehyung has your bag on his hand as you follow him.

The rescue is a success, but now you are worried about how you will all make it home. It’s hard to get an Uber or taxi around the bar, you’ve tried to call on through the app many times before calling Lolla.

The group stops by a minivan, it has the Hockey team name on it together with the college name. Jungkook, one of the youngsters of the team unlocks the driver’s door and opens the van. Telling everyone to get in.

He sits at the driver's place, with Yoongi and Namjoon by his side on the front. In the middle roll goes Seokjin, Hoseok and Jimin with Lolla on Seokjin’s lap and her legs over the other guys' laps. Taehyung goes to the back roll and offers you his hand, you follow and ends up sitting in his lap between their gaming gear.

You worry about the safety of all of you, but everyone else seems too hype and happy to care about it. There is loud music, and they all are talking at once as Jungkook starts the car.

Taehyung gently pulls you back against his chest. “I need to put the seat belt around us.” His voice is low and sends a shiver down your back.

Resting back, you let him pull the sit bet around you both, strapping you to him. His hands rest awkwardly on the edge of the seat, surrounded by helmets and other equipment.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, turning towards him. Your nose brushes his jaw and for a reason you don’t know you keep your voice low in a whisper.

“What do you mean?” He asks just as quietly as you did.

Running your hands down his forearms, you cover his hands with yours, to realize he is gripping the seat. “You can touch me, you know?” Pulling his hand, you rest them on your thighs with yours. “Are you embarrassed?”

“Embarrassed?” Taehyung asks without a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

“You are getting hard.” You laugh softly, nuzzling his jaw.

“Well, my dick doesn’t really understand that all this wiggling isn’t for our benefit.” He sighs.

Relaxing with his words you make yourself more comfortable against his body. “If it makes you less embarrassed,” you say still holding his hands. “I'm getting wet just by feeling your dick.”

The darkness of the car and the way Taehyung’s breath catches gives you confidence to slip your intertwined hands in between your tights feeling the warmth of it. You part your knees a little more to have more room in between them. You can feel his fingers almost brushing over the wet lacy of your panties. Maybe it is the thriller or the alcohol from the drink you had at the bar or could be the fact Taehyung is basically dicking you through his pants at every bump the car gives, but a new wave of arousal makes you wetter.

Taehyung lets go of one of your hands, letting it travel over your body, smoothing the fabric of your dress, placing his hand flat over your stomach and caressing his way up to your boobs. Gently molding them, fingertip running circles over your covered nipple but not adding quite enough pressure. You whimper his name, and he chuckles in response.

“Taehyung please,” you ask.

“Y/n, this is the nicer way you’ve ever talked to me in all these months since we’ve met.” His voice is hoarse in your ear.

Twisting your body, you manage to turn enough to kiss him, his lips are soft as his hand moves to your throat putting some pressure on it as his tongue explores your mouth. His thumb caressing your damp inner thigh. Your body reacts at its own accord, legs parting further to give his hand more room.

Biting his lower lip, you moan. “Taehyung.”

“God, I’d love to see your face when you moan my name like that.” His breath tickles your neck as he trails kisses over it. “And I’m not embarrassed to feel how wet you are all over your tights.”

“It could be over your hands if you made a move.” You sass.

The confidence comes over the darkness, the music that was turned up. You feel like the car is getting hotter and the air thicker. You don’t know how long the ride is still going to take but you need something to happen, or you won’t ever be able to look at Taehyung’s face again.

“Can you be a good girl and keep it quiet?” Taehyung asks while placing a kiss under your ear. His knees moving your legs further apart.

You eagerly nod in response to his question, but his hand doesn’t move any closer.

“Taehyung, if you don’t know what to do, I can do it myself. You just need to stay still.” You provoke.

“Y/n, someday I’ll fuck this pretty mouth of yours and you won’t be able to be such a brat.” His lips find yours again as his fingers manage to push your panties to the side and two of them slip inside of you at once.

You regret promising to stay quiet as Taehyung shallows your moan. The wet sound coming from his fingers pumping in and out of your pussy is all you can hear, over your friends' laughs and the music. If anyone pays attention, they’ll know what you both are up to in the back seat.

“Your pussy feels so good. Warm, wet and tight.” Your hips roll against Tae’s fingers, you bite your lip hard to keep your moaning quiet as the hot pleasure builds up in your lower stomach.

Letting your head drop back on his shoulder, you want to close your leg at the same time you want more of it. To shy away from him at the same time you want more of Taehyung.

“Are you going to come, all over my hand? Squeeze my finger in your pussy and give me a taste of what it will feel like when I have my dick buried inside of you?” Taehyung parts his knees further, spreading your legs and exposing his finger inside your pussy.

As your moans and whimpers start to get louder, he covers your mouth with his free hand. Making his fingertips brush your spot and his thumb caresses circles over your clit, sending hot pleasure over your whole body, making you tremble and shiver, as your orgasm rips through you, making your eyes roll back, your back arch and your body feel boneless.

Taehyung keeps pumping his fingers in and out of you until the spams are gone and you are just a sweaty mess slumped against his chest. Kissing your forehead, he gently slips his fingers off of you. “Open your mouth baby.”

Confused but too content to question him as you do as told. Parting your lips, Taehyung places his wet fingers on your tongue, and you lick it, feeling the bitter salty taste.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll taste you when we get home, I promise I’ll clean up the mess I made in between your legs.” He says, lips moving against your neck.

“Tae- “

The music cuts off abruptly, and your entire body freezes, eyes widening as Taehyung quickly pulls his fingers from your mouth and unpins your legs so you can close them.

“Does anyone wants McDonald’s?”

100WTSILY - Masterlist

Feedback is always appreciated.

Ⓒ 2023 Sugarushsuga, do not copy, translate or repost.

[kiss-seokjin]

My Time, Our Time

Synopsis: Your V-card will be lost one way or another, why not lose it together with your boyfriend of two years?

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Genre/ au: smut, fluff, established relationship, university au, pwp

Rating: 18+

Word count: 656

Warnings: Loss of virginity

Smut warnings: Missionary, protected sex, grinding, making out, groping, aftercare, big dick Jungkook

Ty @mimikookie for beta-ing for me!

You eagerly push Jungkook onto the mattress. He smiles as you climb on top of him. Straddling Jungkook, you grind into him. Your lips press against one another as your hands roam each other’s bodies. While he is some months younger than you, you’re still both the same age – twenty. For a split second you get a flashback of when you first met: two years ago in one of your gen ed classes. His bright doe eyes and bunny smile lighting up when you both realized you shared multiple classes together.

The feeling of his growing member pressing against your core makes you feel more needy. As your hips sway into his, your lips pry each other open, tongues meeting. You eagerly unbutton his shirt, yanking it off as quickly as you can and throwing it aside. You slide off your shirt and hastily undo your bra. Throwing them aside, Jungkook sees your bare chest for the first time. His hands grope your breasts, his eyes open in an odd fascination.

Soon his member bulges in his pants and Jungkook groans.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he mutters.

“Ready?” you ask and he eagerly nods. You roll off him, allowing him to get up. As you remove your pants and panties, Jungkook finishes undressing and grabs a condom. He removes the package and puts it on. When he looks up, he sees you on the bed, legs spread, your pussy open in full glory. He groans at the sight as you eye his girth. It’s huge, you think to yourself.

Jungkook walks over and climbs onto the bed. Crawling between your legs, he positions himself above you. You wrap your arms around his back as he holds your hips, placing his cock at your entrance.

He looks at you with his doe eyes, now dark from desire, asking one last time for permission. You softly nod and he presses into you. You grit your teeth as you feel your walls expand for the first time. Jungkook coos at you, kissing your lips as he stops part way in, allowing you to adjust. It’s all so much.

Your walls slowly loosen up as you relax, so Jungkook pushes deeper gradually. Inch by inch, he slides into you - slowly filling you up. Finally, he’s fully inside you, letting you adjust once again. 

You sigh, easing into his touch. It’s not like what you expected at all.

Once you're ready, you nod at him again. Jungkook pulls out halfway before thrusting back into you. His thrusts are soft and gentle, slowly making the bed bounce. Jungkook whimpers as he thrusts, feeling your walls suck his cock as he goes back into you.

His balls graze you, catching you off guard as the bed creaks. You moan, your pleasure slowly building. You softly smile while Jungkook glides into you, gasping when he grazes your cervix.

“Mmm, Jungkook,” you mutter without thinking. His face lights up a bit at that and he slightly picks up pace.

He continues to thrust at this speed, but not for long as his hips shake and buckle. He gives one final deep thrust before cumming. He groans in pleasure and you wrap your legs around his waist. You grind against him to ride him through it.

When he’s done, you let go of him as he slides out, plopping next to you. You cuddle up next to him, mostly satisfied but wishing you could have come too.

“Can I top next time?” you ask.

“Sure,” Jungkook replies, a soft smile coming across his face. He gently kisses you, lips lingering for a moment before he pulls away. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“Aish!”

Jungkook smothers your faces and neck with kisses as you squirm in delight. You love him so much.

As he pulls away, he flashes his bunny grin. 

“Want to wash off together?” Jungkook asks.

“I’d love to koo,” you reply, smiling back.

[hobeemin]

taste of temptation

😈 genre: smut, romance, angst, supernatural, exes 2 lovers, drama

😈 pairing: demon!park jimin x fallen angel!poc(f) reader

😈 summary: does the punishment fit the crime? for even questioning her purpose, Y/N was sent to earth to live out the rest of her days. living in between worlds she is neither immortal or mortal. its the least of her worries once she attracts to attention of a demon in search of his other half.

😈 rating: 18+

😈 warning(s): swearing | breath play | bondage | hand kink | thigh riding | squirting | maturbation | finger sucking | cum play | overstimulation | begging | mention of blood | mention of wounds | heartbreak

😈 word count: 5.8k

😈 credits: 💜 a HUGE thank you to @playmetheclassics ​ thank you for beta reading this on such short notice! 💜 also to @inkedtae bee, thank you for your advice and helping me out when I was stuck 💙🩵

banner resources found here: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

😈 a/n: this fic takes place in the same universe as my delightful temptations stories. you don’t necessarily need to read those to understand this fic, but i will make small references to them through out this series. hope you enjoy!!

❂ Nightmare Before Christmas

         ⁂ Hosted by: Professor Bee through @bangtansorciere

⤐  AU Type: christmas town (reincarnation)

⤐  Themes: angels/demons

⤐  Kinks: breath play | bondage | hand kink | thigh riding | squirting | maturbation | finger sucking | cum play | overstimulation | begging

The dance floor of The Harp was fairly quiet, even for a Thursday night. The regulars were looking more than tipsy at their failed attempts to impress potential partners with the latest moves from TikTok. It wasn't the ideal  condition for a creature like Jimin, but it had been a long time since he'd been in a city large enough to have a club of its own.

He couldn't resist the chance to scope out the scene of his new stomping grounds, no matter what day it was. . After a seven-day dry spell, his hunger was at an all-time high. There was only so much abstinence a body could take, and he was reaching his limit.

As he made his way through the place, the red lights of the dance floor transitioned to a cooling blue as he stepped up to the bar at the back of the club, painting his white, partially buttoned-up shirt and dark jeans a dim cerulean. Drinks didn't have much effect on him, but sometimes he found that a glass in his hand lent him more into the act as he went about scoping out the scene.

Just as he settled onto one of the stools near the end of the bar, he felt the sensation–a subtle tickle teased his nerves like the crisp scent of an oncoming rainstorm. Forcing himself down onto the seat, he tried to brush it off, ignoring the swirl of hunger it brought to the surface. What was this night to become of it?

And there she was. Leaning forward, his famous eye smile on display to the beauty behind the bar as he brushed his dark hair off his face. He nodded briefly towards the sparsely occupied dance floor and raised an eyebrow.

"Are they supposed to call that dancing?"

The night could have been going better. Hell, any night would have been better than this one. She could see the other side of the dance floor for the first time since she'd been employed at The Harp. Her faux locs swayed gently across her face as she tidied up behind the bar. At least she could make it look clean. Her eyes scanned the tip jar against the register with a pout. Why on earth did she come in?

Oh right. Cause people aren't reliable 

The woman grumbled to herself and jerked a highball glass from the dishwasher. The steam swirled around as she placed it on the drying rack and continued with her task, barely watching the bar. No one was drinking tonight. And if they were, tipping was a no-go.

Some punishment, indeed.

The spot between her shoulder blades itched suddenly, causing a frown to form on her face. That was unusual. That hadn't happened in ages. The phantom space that once preoccupied a beautiful pair of wings was now placed with tattoo etchings, almost burn-like. The memory was still fresh. She shook her head and turned around, pushing the thoughts aside. She was fooling herself. Nothing was wrong. She almost dropped a shot glass from her hand as she made direct eye contact with a gentleman who had made himself comfortable at the bar. 

Heat rushed to her cheeks, hearing his voice. Recovering her flustered state with a chuckle, Y/N swiped a loc behind her ear. 

Speak up, girl!

She let out a short laugh glancing towards the dance floor. "I honestly don't know what they think they are doing out there, but it ain't dancing."

She smiled at him , and wiped her hands on a clean towel before setting a beverage napkin in front of him. 

"Welcome to The Harp. Would you like anything to drink, sir?"

Jimin didn't miss the slight flush that briefly graced her cheeks; it only added to how  her smile seemed to distract him from the humming that seemed to linger around the lounge, tugging at his senses. It had a lingering scent reminiscent of fresh spring rain, innocent and clean, though he wondered where it could be coming from in a place like this. She was dressed simply, in a leather skirt and black tank top–a typical uniform for a place like this, but on her, it added to her purity.

His smile seemed to light up at the woman's laugh, his head tilting curiously as she spoke. He nodded with a short glance at the selection of liquor across the back of the bar, the blue lights tainting his golden eyes nearly sea green as they flicked back towards hers with a nod.

“How about Manhattan and your name as a chaser." 

Extending his hand forward to shake, he grinned mischievously."My name is Jimin."

He was surprised he gave her his real name. Normally he’d use one of his aliases; it made it easier to navigate the world anonymously . But he felt his name past his lips. His eyes widened momentarily at the realization. Taking his hand, she felt a jolt as their fingers touched. 

It seemed it had as much effect on him as it had on her. The warmth radiated from her touch. He played it off outwardly as a little static caught between them, her little jump making him chuckle softly.

Y/N gave an incline of the head. "Well, Jimin, it's nice to meet you. My name is Y/N." 

How very curious. She brushed the nagging aside as she focused on his ordered drink.

"Manhattan. Classy. Simple. But a fan favorite." She grabbed a highball from the stack. “Chilled or on the rocks?”

Jimin nodded in approval. “I’ll take rocks, please.”

She hummed, grabbed the whiskey, and poured a healthy portion. She added the sweet vermouth and a few splashes of bitters. Adding a few cherries, she slid him the glass. "Here you go."

The fluidity she had with pouring the shot seemed to extend through her whole form, and Jimin was more than impressed with her skill. In his extended time on Earth, it was rare to find someone this meticulous with how they performed their duties. He took a sip, savoring slightly sweet tones.

Before she could inquire about his drink, a group of people walked up to the bar needing to be served. She gave Jimin a weary smile with a shrug. "Duty calls."

Y/N walked down to the other end of the bar and began taking drink orders. It was a decent rush. They were thirsty, and she was happy to oblige them all. Every now and then, she would look up as she mixed a few drinks to catch a glance at Jimin. Something about him....she couldn't place it, but she felt a pull towards him.

The feeling was mutual.

Jimin's eyes trailed after her curiously. He stared at his hand, deep in thought. That touch.

He tried to shake off the lingering sensation left by her hand. The hunger he tried to suppress snarled to the surface seeking out that energy. He wanted to drink every drop and taste every inch of her until their auras intertwined, becoming one with his wicked soul. As their eyes met, he didn't look away, instead raising his drink in a toast to the fine work she was doing as she made the drinks. 

Interesting.

Both of them caught looking. When had he become so careless? Her presence had his thoughts swirling, his focus gone. Any thoughts of checking out potential prey in the club slipped away. His normal rule of bartenders being off-limits was starting to seem too strict. 

Y/N noticed that Jimin didn't wander off to the dance floor as the night wore on. He instead ordered another double and settled into his seat.

How strange. Her brow quirked up as she observed his actions.

A few bold souls approached him throughout the night, only for him to politely decline or brush them aside. He might have taken them up on their offer any other night, but his interest was elsewhere on this fateful night. 

As closing time neared, his eyes flicked toward Y/N once more as closing time drew near. He finished the last dregs of his drink and set the glass aside. Y/N approached, jutting her chin at the empty glass.

“One more for the last call?”

Jimin smirked, shaking his head. "I think I’ll take my check, please.”

Humming with a nod, she closed out his tab, placed his receipt on the counter in a checkbook, and took his empty glass to be cleaned. 

Jimin placed his card inside, and she took it to charge. “I don’t suppose any other bars are open after this one closes?”

Y/N shook her head as she waited for his card to go through. “No, most places close around this time.”

"Bummer,” he said with a smile, “Drinks are off the table, but how about breakfast?"

Her eyes flickered for a moment  at the sound of his offer as she met his gaze. She was used to being hit on. It came with the occupation and maybe the extra she was born with. People tended to flock to her etherealness. Of course, they never called it that. They just chalked it up to her being charismatic. By rule alone, Y/N never mingled with her patrons, preferring to keep things professional. She knew from others how that turned out. 

But Jimin...Jimin was something different.

"I think I would like that," she heard herself saying, giving him his card back. "Would you like to wait for me to finish closing? It won't take me too long. Or I could meet you there. Whichever works for you, Jimin."

He wrote out a tip much larger than the cost of the drinks and smiled once more. “Nonsense. I wouldn’t let you walk there on your own. We can walk there together.”

“Okay, sounds good to me,” she answered.

He seemed pleased with her answer, almost like it was a victory in a game. She had an idea she was playing.

“I’ll just be outside when you’re ready,” he stated, taking his jacket off the back of the chair. Y/N gave him a quick wave before returning to her closing duties. 

It didn’t take much longer for her to finish cleaning up the bar. There appeared to be a slight skip in her step. But what was she so excited about?

It’s just breakfast.

Well yeah. Breakfast could mean a lot of things.

Did she want it to?

That little voice nagged her relentlessly. She shook it off as she gathered the trash on the cart. It was nothing. This was nothing. Just two people sharing the same space.

Y/N huffed as she threw the trash bags into the dumpster. Who was she kidding? Of course, she found Jimin attractive. It should have felt wrong, but deep down, something stirred in her core. Frowning, she shook her head. There was no need to have guilt. These were normal emotions.

Just have fun.

Her doubts  were quickly erased when she saw Jimin smiling at her. She  couldn’t help but return one as he gestured for her to walk next to him. Hands deep in his coat pockets, they set off towards the diner. 

“Closed, alright?”

Y/N nodded, shouldering her bag. “Wasn’t too bad. Tonight wasn’t really that busy.”

“Well, that’s good,” he responded.

Silence fell between the two as they walked on. Much to her surprise, the silence wasn’t awkward. It felt…just right. As they approached the diner, Jimin held the door open for her to enter. A sudden chill went up his spine as she walked past him. He looked out into the darkness and felt goosebumps run up his hands. He shook his head, brushing it off. There was no way they were being followed.

The lone waitress greeted them as they entered, pointing out they could seat themselves. Jimin led Y/N over to a booth in the corner. She slid into the seat, removing her jacket. She looked around at the surroundings nodding in approval.

“I don’t think I’ve been here before.”

Jimin smiled, watching her. “Yeah, they have amazing pancakes.”

The waitress came over with a coffee pot. Jimin nodded as she poured the steaming liquid into his mug. Y/N shook her head at the offer. 

“I’ll take cranberry juice, please.”

Nodding, the waitress walked away. Y/N smirked with a shrug. “If I drink that, I’ll be up all day.”

Jimin hummed as he took a sip. “Caffeine doesn’t bother me too much. I’ll sleep fine after this.”

Y/N flipped through the menu, scanning the items. “So the pancakes are good?”

“Yeah, I love the blueberry ones.”

Y/N quirked her brow. “You take all your dates here for breakfast?”

Jimin bit down on his lip before sipping his coffee, “Just you.”

She felt her cheeks warm as she looked away. She was thankful the server returned with her juice, and she sipped it slowly. Y/N could feel Jimin’s eyes on her as she looked anywhere but at him. Chuckling, he looked up at the server. 

“I think we’re ready to order.”

Whipping out a pen, the server popped her gum, giving Y/N the sign to start. She ruffled through the menu, pointing to the options.

“I’ll have some blueberry pancakes with a side of fruit, please.”

Jimin kept his eyes on her as he ordered next. “I’ll also have the blueberry pancakes and a side of bacon.”

Nodding, she took their menus and walked off. Jimin blew the steam rolling off his mug and drank it. “Don’t like meat?”

Y/N shook her head. “Never agreed with me. Been a vegetarian for as long as I could remember.”

“I respect that. Definitely not an easy thing to do,” he mused. 

Playing with the napkin on the table, she thought of something to ask. “What do you like to do when you’re not flirting with bartenders?”

His laugh sounded almost like wind chimes. It didn’t match his demeanor at all. He pulled out his wallet, handing her a business card. 

“I’m a collector.”

“Like an antique collector?”

His lips pulled into another smirk. “Something like that. I prefer to collect rare items that can’t be duplicated.”

That could have so many meanings. Most went over her head, but Y/N was far from innocent. She’d been on earth long enough to understand many things. Though attraction and intimacy were almost nonexistent in her previous life, she knew how it worked. Watching how humans interacted each night at the bar always fascinated her. 

Would she ever have that for herself? Y/N wasn’t sure, but it seemed the more she learned about Jimin, the more the possibility could happen.

Just as the server returned with their plates, Jimin thanked her and looked up. His eyes met with the person sitting behind Y/N. She noticed how his expression changed for a second. He seemed shaken up a bit. 

She looked at him with concern as she poured syrup over her pancakes. “Is everything alright?”

Jimin set his fork down with a nod. “Actually, I'm gonna run to the restroom. Be back in a minute.”

He slipped out of the seat without hearing her answer as he made a hasty jog towards the restrooms. Instead of going inside, he went to the door leading to the alley. Frowning, he looked around.

“Alright. Show yourself.”

A tall man shimmered into view, leaning against the brick wall. Hands deep in his pockets, he nodded in greeting to Jimin.

“Nice to see you again, brother.”

Jimin crossed his arms over his chest as his scowl darkened. “Wouldn’t say I feel the same, Namjoon.”

Chuckling, Namjoon brushed his hair off his face. “C’mon, it’s been ages. I had to check in to see if you were behaving.”

“What I do is none of your business,” Jimin bit back.

Namjoon’s eyes glowed as a hiss erupted from between his lips. “It does if it endangers our livelihood.”

Jimin's eyes rolled upward in annoyance. What could he possibly be talking about? Why now? For the majority of the time, Jimin kept to himself. He didn’t see any of his brothers unless it was drastic. Nothing seemed to be wrong, so why was Namjoon here suddenly? Namjoon’s eyes narrowed at Jimin’s lack of urgency. He’d always been stubborn, but now was not the time.

“Stay away from her.”

Jimin scoffed, shaking his head. “Who are you referring to? I’ve been with plenty of women, so you’re gonna–”

“The one inside. Stay away from her.”

His brow quirked in curiosity. “Why?”

“Because I said so.”

“That’s not a good enough reason.”

“It is when I say it is.”

“Bullshit. You never got involved with Yoongi or Hoseok’s mates. Why me? Y’all get to be happy, but not me?”

Namjoon sighed deeply, rubbing his temple. “It’s not that simple. Naomi is a human, as are the other two. You can’t be with this woman.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“Forbidden fruit.”

If Jimin had a heart, it would have dropped. He blinked for a few moments.

“What?”

Namjoon scratched the back of his head thoughtfully. “I-I don’t understand it either, but whatever you have with her has to end. Understood?”

“Joon–”

“Just do it, Jimin. I’ll see you in a few days.”

Before he could speak up, Namjoon shimmered away.

He leaned against the wall as the thoughts swirled in his mind. 

Fuck.

What could he do?

As much as he didn’t like his brothers, Jimin valued  his immortality. Was she worth losing it? As he walked back inside defeat loomed on his face, and he resolved to end it there. But as he got closer to their booth, all reason left his mind. Seeing her sitting there almost covered in glow left him in a stupor. She was more breathtaking than anything he’d ever seen…and that was saying something.

As he sat down, Y/N looked at him with concern.

“Is everything alright? I was worried that you hadn’t come back. Your food was getting cold.”

Staring into her eyes, whatever negativity went through his mind instantly melted away. All he wanted was her and only her. To hell with it all. Y/N was worth it.

“I’m sorry, I just needed some air.”

She reached out to touch his hand. The warmth radiated from her touch. “You’re not feeling well? We can always do a raincheck.”

She was so innocent. That purity would be her downfall.

Fuck it.

Jimin pulled some bills out of his pocket and placed them on the table.

“How about we get out of here? I know it’s late, but a walk might clear my head.”

She put her fork down with a small nod. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

He stood holding out his hand with a smile, and with one of her own, Y/N took it excited to see where the early morning would take them.

Right into the lion’s den.

---

As the door beeped, Jimin opened it wider for her to enter. Y/N stepped through the threshold, looking around his place. He closed it behind them offering to take her jacket. She handed it to him, slipping off her boots and waited for him to show her around. 

While she was nervous, Y/N suggested they return  to his place as the weather got colder outside. Jimin was surprised by the suggestion but agreed, and here they were.

Jimin smiled as he pointed out the rooms. “It’s not much, but it’s home. I move around a lot so excuse the lack of decoration.”

Y/N shook her head. “No, I think it suits you.”

As they sat down on the couch, the awkwardness seemed to lift. “Would you like something to drink?”

“No, I’m fine, thank you.”

Silence fell between them.

Y/N crossed her legs as she felt unsure of what to say at that moment. He seemed so confident, something she felt she lacked. What type of woman did he go for? Someone opposite of her?

“Jimin–”

“Y/N–”

They stared at each other before bursting into laughter. His eye smile on full display made her stomach flutter.

He gestured for her to speak. “Please, what were you going to say?”

She twirled her hair between her fingers. “It wasn’t really important.”

“Nonsense. Whatever you have to say is important, Y/N.”

Her cheeks heated up again before she looked away in embarrassment. “I-I…it's silly, really. I’ve never done this before, much less talked to many men. I don’t know why I feel this pull to you, but it’s–”

Jimin scooted closer, taking her hand into his as he stared at her. “I-I feel the same, Y/N. There’s something about you, and I can’t seem to stay away. Since I saw you tonight, I didn’t want to not be in your presence. Y/N, there seems to be a glow surrounding you, and I’m afraid if you stay with me, I’ll devour it.”

She felt something clench in her core from his words. It was as if she was in a trance…as if being a puppet on strings. But she was okay with this sensation. 

The electric current between them was strong as she knew she wanted to be devoured by this man, being, creature–it didn’t matter.

Jimin reached out to tilt her chin.

“Do you trust me?”

Y/N swallowed thickly as she licked her lips nervously. “I trust you, Jimin,” she said, resolution echoing in her voice.

“Are you sure? I’ll ask before I do anything, but I’m afraid I’ll lose control.”

“We’ll lose control together,” she whispered.

It was like a band snapped.

Jimin lunged forward as his lips pressed hungrily to hers. Y/N had only seconds to brace herself as she fell backwards on the couch. She felt like her body was aflame. Her hands tugged at his shirt as their kisses grew wild. Jimin nipped at her lips as growls filled the room.

He pulled away long enough to speak three words. “Pull my hair.”

Y/N’s fingers ran through his silky locks, tugging from the roots and making him groan. His hands gripped her backside, squeezing and pulling her flush against him. She gasped out as she felt something poke against her thigh. He broke the kiss once more to catch their breath as he nuzzled against her.

“You’re addicting, Y/N. I could kiss you forever.”

She felt shy under his gaze as he pressed light kisses along her jaw and neck. . “If this is too much, please let me know. I’m keeping myself in check.”

She shook her head, pecking his lips. “No. It’s okay to continue.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

He sat back on his heels, brushing his hair off his face. “Alright, follow me, please.”

Helping her, they walked to the back of the apartment to a room off to the side. Punching in a code, the door slid open. Y/N eyes widened at the sight. Before her was a room painted in deep purples and reds. The dimness of the lights obstructed her view of many things, but some she could make out only added to her surprise. She’d only seen these things in books.

Jimin kissed her knuckles gently. “I’m a bit of a deviant, but it’s in my nature.”

He studied her body language as she surveyed the room. “Does this make you uncomfortable?”

“No, it kind of excites me a little.”

“Would you like to try something?”

“I think I would.”

Jimin bit his lip with a nod. “We’ll start slow.”

He pulled a chair out and took a seat, spreading his legs. She watched as his muscles rippled under his jeans.

“Ride my thigh,” he ordered.

She walked up to him. It was almost like second nature as she straddled his left thigh. The material of her leather skirt shifted as she settled against him. She shivered at the material of his pants, causing friction against her underwear. Jimin groaned softly, encircling his hands around her waist. He moved  her against his thigh, his lips finding their way to her neck, littering it with marks as he squeezed and spread her ass, making her go faster.

“You have no idea what you do to me.”

Her eyelids fluttered as euphoria washed over her body. It was nothing like she had ever experienced before. His lips and hands touching and teasing her left her in a stupor. The sensory overload was too much for her. Y/N whimpered as her head dropped onto his shoulder.

“J-Jimin–”

Y/N cried out as the wave crashed, pausing her movements as she shook to her very core. Jimin held onto her as she fell limp against his chest, white spots formed in front of her eyes as she tried to catch her breath—all this just from riding his thigh. Jimin kissed her temple, whispering soothing words as she rose from her high. Watching her come undone turned him on even more. 

Lifting her with care, Jimin carried her over to a spa bed, setting her down. He removed the hair off her face giving her a reassuring smile. 

“Still with me?”

She bobbed her head. Jimin kissed her lips again  and walked over to a table, grabbing a silk tie. He turned, holding it up for her to see.

“Would you like to try this?”

Y/N lifted her head to look at the blindfold. “What does it do?”

“Heightens your senses more. If not, we can try something else,” he explained.

“No. I’m curious about that. Let’s try it,” she answered.

He walked over and secured the tie over her eyes with a smile. 

“Can you see, love?”

She shook her head as Jimin squeezed her hand. “Good. I’ll explain everything I’m going to do and ask prior.”

She felt his fingers slide up and down her sides, making her moan softly.

“May I remove your clothes?”

“Yes,” she let out a breathy sigh.

Jimin set to work removing her clothes until she laid bare before him. He removed his after, admiring her body. It brought him to his knees. She was magnificent. 

He brushed his dark hair off his face and knelt in front of her. The scent of her sex was succulent. He placed a chaste kiss on her inner thigh, making her purr. Goosebumps formed on her skin wherever his mouth traveled. His mouth watered when his eyes met his goal. He gave her a tentative lick on the seam of her core, making her hips jolt. He grinned at her reaction.

“Love how you respond to me.”

He found her clit with ease, swollen with her arousal. Teasing it with the tip of his tongue, he slid two fingers into  her cunt and pumped them steadily. His free hand crawled up to her neck, lightly pressing as the feeling made her arousal grow.

Jimin’s appetite grew as he looped his arms around her legs, pinning her hips to the massage bed. He pressed his lips to her pussy, giving it soft kisses along the outer labia. Y/N could do nothing but grab his hair as inhumane sounds spilled from her lips.

“Oh fuck, you’re delicious.”

Yet again, his words made something snap inside as pressure rose to make liquid shoot for between her legs, coating the massage table, herself, and Jimin. He used his other hand to push her legs further apart for him to taste her greedily. 

Jimin cooed softly as he pulled back to breathe and removed the blindfold. “You’re amazing, Y/N.”

She blinked, adjusting to the dim light, but began shy under his heated gaze as he lifted her up.

“How do you feel?”

After multiple orgasms, fatigue was setting in, but just having him close only made her crave more from him. “I feel drunk almost.”

He laughed, kissing her forehead. “We’re not even close to being done.” His fingers traced her lips. “Suck.”

She brought them between her lips, suckling them slowly. Jimin’s jaw clenched, watching her twirl her tongue around his digits. He jerked them from her mouth, replacing his mouth to steal her breath away with another kiss. 

“Turn around,” he instructed in between kisses.

She faced away from him as he fisted his cock. Erect and throbbing. Y/N's backside swayed as Jimin’s cock slapped against her ass. He dragged his hand to her pussy, cupping it with a moan. Lining himself at her entrance, he glanced at her lovingly.

“Just say the word.”

“Please, Jimin,” she whispered.

His hip snapped forward, filling her to the brim. Her eyes rolled back as she stilled before matching his rhythm. Jimin kept his eyes glued to her ass as it smacked against his stomach. Her name slipped past his lips while fucking her doggy style.

“Oh shit.”

Almost lost in the moment, Jimin nearly missed the etchings on her back. He paused his thrusts, staring at it in awe.

Y/N felt his movements still as she turned to look at him over her shoulder. “Jimin?”

He met her gaze as confusion covered his face. “You’re an angel.”

“What? How did you know?”

His fingers traced over her shoulder blades delicately. “You’re my other half. I–it seems so familiar.”

Y/N twisted around, breaking the contact between them. “What do you mean?”

Jimin cupped her chin, staring into her eyes as his own glowed faintly. “Surely you felt a pull towards me. I’m much more than a man, Y/N.”

At the sight of his eyes, all her suspicions were true. Jimin was something otherworldly. 

“Do you fear me?”

“Why should I? I’ve been sent here as punishment,” she answered. 

He shook his head. “No, not a punishment. It was fate to find each other. I refuse to lose you again.”

A smile formed on her face. “Yes, it was fate.”

“You’re not leaving my sight ever again.”

He pulled her close, each letting out a groan as they connected again.

Y/N muffled out a moan. Her walls quivered around his cock, and she was close. 

They both were. Heavy, heady breathing filled the air as the young lovers’ orgasms rose. It was as if static filled the air. Everything became so messy; each caught up in their pleasure. Jimin tensed and gripped her hair tighter.

“My angel. I found you,” he cried. 

At his words, she let out a strangled cry; her orgasm rippled through her body, making her body convulse, Jimin’s seed spilled into her cunt, as he pulled out to let it drip onto her ass and the massage table. He fell forward, body covered in sweat as his forehead touched her back.

He kissed her gently, holding her close to him.

“You’re mine.”

---

They laid still under the sheets as the ceiling fan shifted the air in the room. Jimin moved them back into his bedroom after their activities to rest awhile. Y/N nuzzled against his chest as his fingers stroked her back soothingly.

“Do you remember?”

Y/N murmured as her senses stirred. “Remember what?”

Jimin stared at the ceiling. “When you were human.”

Her eyes popped open in surprise. She lifted her head to stare up at him. “Not really. Do you?”

“Bits and pieces. It was so long ago. I can’t even recall the time period.”

She hummed in understanding. “Seems like eons ago. I don’t know if I want to remember that time.”

“Would you ever want to go back?”

“Never.”

Jimin chuckled softly. “Why? Too many rules?”

Y/N shook her head. “I wouldn't have met you.”

His heart stilled for a moment. Clearing his throat, he glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “Almost dawn.”

She sighed briefly, closing her eyes. “I need to get home.”

Jimin snorted in amusement. “Stay here for the night…er day. I’ll take you home.”

“Alright. I’ll at least shower.”

With some effort, Y/N walked with some difficulty to the bathroom off in the corner. Jimin rested against the pillows as he heard the water turn on. It wasn’t until he heard screaming that the blood drained from his face. He leapt from the bed, running into the bathroom.

“Y/N!”

She laid unresponsive on the tile. Blood pooled around her like some scarlet blanket. He bent down, picking her up. Her skin was hot to the touch.

“Baby? Y/N?! Wake up!”

“I told you there would be consequences.”

Jimin’s fangs tensed as he saw Namjoon leaning in the doorframe.

“What did you do to her?!”

“Nothing, brother. This was all you.”

“What? I didn’t do this!”

“You did. You’re killing her by being near her.”

Jimin shook his head as the lump in his throat grew. “No, no, there’s got to be a way to save her. Namjoon…brother, please. I’ll do anything.”

Namjoon sighed as a frown set in. “You’ll have to pay a steep price.”

“I don’t give a fuck! Y/N doesn’t deserve this!”

“Your blood can save her,” he explained.

“Fine!” Jimin looked around frantically for something sharp.

“But–”

He glared at Namjoon with scrutiny. “But what?”

“She’ll gain her life but forget you in the process. Are you prepared to give that up?”

Jimin sat there stunned. Time was of the essence. He looked from Y/N to the mirror piece in his hand. Blinking reluctantly, he nodded slowly.

“She’s worth thousands of lives.”

---

As the snow fell in big flakes from the sky, Jimin walked down the street, wrapping his scarf tighter around his neck. The wind picked up as the minutes ticked on. As he stood at the crosswalk, she walked on the opposite side. It couldn’t have been. But there she was. Eyes widening, he couldn’t get over there fast enough. She walked into the coffee shop around the corner, and he followed her inside. The words caught in his throat as they stood in line. When her turn came, she ordered her to drink–a medium lemon ginger tea and waited while the barista prepared it. She thanked them when her name was called, and they handed her the drink. Just as he was about to speak, a voice spoke up.

“Y/N!”

She turned to see a group in the corner waving to her. Grinning, she waved before turning to go to the condiments table. 

“Excuse me.”

Jimin blinked as she was in front of him. She giggled at him as they moved side to side. He chuckled nervously, sidestepping out of her way. “Oh, s-sorry.”

She gave him a soft smile, adding honey to her cup. Walking past, she barely noticed him as she went to the table with the group of people sitting there.

He could feel his heart breaking slowly as he backed out of the coffee shop. Seeing her there with no care in the world was enough for him.

“Goodbye, my angel.”

[jiminzfilter]

Unexpected Miracles

→ Pairing. hoseok x Reader

→ Genre. half-strangers to lovers, blind dating au (kind of), fluff

→ Summary. an old crush comes waltzing into your life when you need a date for a Winter Gala

→ Word count. 5.2k 

→ Warnings. reader's family is a bit abusive and likes down-talking her :,(, mentions of light alcohol consumption (be careful when you drink, please!!), mentions of a mental breakdown

→ A/n. this is a gift for @beingsuneone for the @bangtansecretsanta exchange 🎄 Hi Kaillei, I'm your Secret Santa! I hope you enjoy this gift I made for you as much as I enjoyed interacting with you all through December. Somehow, this is the complete opposite of what I planned on writing but I think changing the plot mid-story was the right choice to make. Hope you'll like it :)

-> thank you so much @playmetheclassics for beta-reading this fic!! I’m so grateful for your constant help and support, it really means a lot to me🥺❤️

There is nothing you hate more than the Christmas season. The decorated streets, the storefronts full of fake gifts under an overdecorated tree. Couples wearing matching Christmas sweaters. The Christmas market which blasted holiday music until 2 am and your obnoxiously long yearly family Winter gala.

The gala, annoying as it sounds, takes place five days after Christmas each year and is a reunion of all the town's important people and its surroundings. All of that was exaggerated by some nice Christmas music,  a huge decorated tree with presents underneath for the youngest guests… Everything you love.

You glare at your invitation on the coffee table and sigh. Even after you moved out of town (and far from your parents’ grasp), your mother found her way to get you to come to her event. Just as you are about to throw away the gold ornamented card, your phone rings and surprise! it’s your mother. 

“Hello, darling! I sent out your invitation yesterday in express mail. Have you received it ?” 

Of course, she would be only interested in her stupid event. 

“Yes, mother. It’s in my hands right now”, you stop yourself from sighing, wanting to avoid your mother’s reprimands.

“Oh, perfect! Your father and I went to the store to select some dresses for you. You should go try them on by tomorrow if you want to have your dress on time!” 

Did I forget to mention the winter gala is also a ball? Well, now you know… 

“Well, about that, Mother. I wanted to tell you…”

“Oh, you can bring your companion too! What was his name again? Jake? Please bring him I remember him being such a lovely boy!” 

“Not until I found him sleeping with another girl…” You mumble before saying louder “Mother, Jake and I went our separate ways a year ago. ” 

There’s a short silence before your mom answers.

“Shame, well, you better come accompanied or you will embarrass of this family. Again. Excuse me, darling, but your Grandfather is calling me again. I shall go. We expect to see you at the gala so do not disappoint us,” she instructs before hanging up

"I'm gonna need a miracle to go” You furrow your brows and brush a hand through your hair. It is infuriating how your mother never pays attention to anything you say or do. You were the fifth child, your siblings were four talented and successful children and your parents never gave you much attention or love. They would ask as much from you as they did with your siblings but never look at you the same even when you excelled in some things.

Kind of like the ugly duckling. 

With resignation, you grab the invitation again. Your mother’s call was just a reminder of how required your presence there is even though no one cares about you unless it involves asking whether or not one of your brothers is still single (they do that). 

“Well, what do you plan on doing?” Your brother asks and, judging by your deadly glare, he also deducts the answer by himself.

“Come on Y/n, you can’t avoid another family event, especially this one.” 

You nib at your straw, taking a sip of your green smoothie -something your friends never understood your liking for (I mean, who in their right mind would be having a kale-based drink when fruits existed?)

“I don’t know Namjoon. I don’t want to face mom and dad after my job application was rejected last month” You almost cry at the thought. Your parents almost seemed proud when you told them you were on the waitlist for a big finance company in Seoul. You don’t even want to imagine their disappointment after hearing the news and you don’t want to hear about it.

“Well, sure. But you can’t keep avoiding us. I was on the phone with grandpa this morning. He told me he would love to see you again. You know, he’s much older now and this year will be his first year alone without grandma. He told me you remind him so much of her. Please, if you won’t come for us, at least come for him” He pleads 

The thought of your grandfather feeling alone and the look on your brother’s face only grows your guilt. You think again about the white and gold invitation still on your kitchen table (right next to the trash can, yes) and then look at your brother. 

You sigh: “Well if you come to help me get a dress, we only have one problem now: I need a date” 

To that, your brother smiles, making his adorable dimple pop off and his eyes turn crescent moon. 

That makes one Miracle

“Excuse me…?” A voice speaks from behind you. It was the waitress, back with Namjoon’s drink and your cake “Here is the rest of your order” She places everything on the table and, by the look in her eyes, you feel the question coming. 

“Sorry to bother you, sir…” There it comes.  You see her play with the hem of her apron “But I was wondering if you would be open to going out with me some days?” 

Oh boy, poor girl

You can’t stop the smile that grows on your face. One thing you enjoy most about your family is seeing your brothers struggle to decline strangers asking them for a date. Namjoon is the funniest because he gets so shy when this happens; the boy can’t say no.

You’re about to answer for him when he clears his throat and offers the young lady a reassuring smile “Um, well. I am quite busy right now and we are mere strangers now. But maybe in a few coffees, I will reconsider your offer” 

Oh? He pulled it off quite well this time. The waitress’s face crumbles and she leaves with a bitter expression, not knowing how to deal with Namjoon’s answer. Too bad because this one looked sweet and like the type of person your family would approve of. You exchange a look with your brother and start laughing before deciding it’d be better to quietly finish your drinks if you don’t want to get interrupted by more bold women again. 

“Don't you think this dress makes me look fat?” You look at yourself in a huge mirror trying to see everything wrong with you and the dress. 

Your three brothers, who surely have a better sense of fashion than you do, came to help you pick up a dress (some by choice, others because of your parents’ orders) and can’t hide the annoyance on their faces when you come out of the changing rooms asking the same question. Namjoon takes his eyes off his book to look at you with a stern face. You can see that he is annoyed to hear you talk down about yourself (and so are your other brothers).

Seokjin stands up and positions himself behind you, looking into your eyes in the mirror. “I think…” he puts his hands on your shoulders “that it’s been fifty minutes since we’ve been here and you still haven’t found a dress you like. You look perfect in each of them though”

“It's true” Taehyung adds “I don’t see anything wrong with any of the dresses, or with you. But I will have to agree that the puffy sleeves on this dress look horrendous and way too middle age for you” 

You hear the shop owner gasp and a little smile appears on your face. 

“How many more dresses do I have to try on?” You ask her with the hope that your pains are almost over. She looks at the tray where all the dresses you were supposed to try are and sigh. “Well, I think only one remains from your parents’ selection…” your shoulders fall and look desperately to Seokjin in the mirror.

“But wait! I remember that your grandfather ordered me to make a dress for you last month. I was asked to send it to you this morning. Still, when I received the call from your mother yesterday saying you’ll come to try on some dresses, I figured it’d be better to give it to you in person”

A smile forms on your face and you look at Namjoon like a kid on Christmas Day. He winks at you

“If you’d like to go to your changing room, I’ll bring it to you immedia” 

The gown you see is no ordinary thing. Your eyes become teary with the memory this dress brings you, for it is the same dress that was worn by the princess in your favourite fairytale. Your grandmother would read it to you when you were a child and you’d always tell her how much you loved the blue sparkly dress the princess wore. You are quick to put it on and come out to show it to everyone. 

“It’s perfect!” 

That Makes Two

It’s almost been a week since you accepted to go to your family winter gala and after you got your gown and your brothers’ help with how you should do your hair and which guests you should avoid, you still needed a date to come with you. It is not specified where it is requested to have a date in the invitation but it is kind of the unspoken rule of the event: who would want to come to a gala unaccompanied?

As the host’s daughter, you are not to come alone. It would bring shame to your family and your mother’s daily messages reminding you how important it is for her that everything goes according to plan is only a reminder of how perfect you are not. 

You sigh and scroll down your contact list, hoping to find someone suitable for the event. To your great dismay, every potential date is either busy, taken or unwilling. After hours of trying to convince your old roommate (who still owes you for the time you saved his butt in an embarrassing public situation you don’t miss to remind him), you are out of ideas 

“Come onnnnnn Chan, are you sure? I could use your help right now…” You pout. The hesitation is visible on his face but you can see how he brushes a hand through his hair and clenches his jaw so that he won’t give in.

"I already told you, Y/n. I can’t. I need to fly back to Canberra to visit my mom for Christmas. I can’t cancel three days before. She would be so heartbroken. I’m already halfway packed… Sorry”

You almost want to cry to try and convince him but you know it is no use. “You know my parents will kill me if I come alone, right? How am I supposed to survive a ball without a partner? I’d do fine on my own during the dinner but dancing on my own?? I don't even want to think about it.” You take a sip of water.

“I know I know” Chan tries reassuring you “Hey! I might have an idea! Do you remember my friend Hoseok who went to Washington to do business a few years ago? ” 

You remember the tall and lean brown-haired guy whom you met a few times when Chan had some friends over at the beginning of your flat-sharing days. You picture his sparkly golden brown eyes and perfect smile that made your heart go crazy back in the day. It didn’t long to crush him hard, even though the only conversation you managed to hold with him was to ask him if he was okay after he spilt his drink on you.

“Barely…why do you ask ?” You lie.

As soon as you ask the question, you get an idea of what your old roommate is thinking. 

“Well, I’ve heard that he would be back in town this week and probably be on his own during the holidays…” he offer suggestively.

“What did you say his name was again?” You ask as you open your computer.

A few seconds of research later, you manage to find his social media profile but don’t find much information about him, just the already-made conclusion that he looks hot as hell.

“So, what do you think?” Chan asks and when you say that you would be open to meeting him, he promises to do his best to set up a meeting with him as soon as he is back in town 

That’s your Third Miracle.

It has been one week since the last time you talked to Chan and you only have three days before the event. Your mother called again this morning to make sure that you would come and to remind you again how important it is that you fit into the family and that you look great and play nice all night long. Such pressure for such a stupid thing. Helping children in need during the holiday season sure is important but does she have to be on your back like that? 

“It’s not because I messed up once that I should be treated any differently than any of her other children,” you huff angrily as you pack a bag to bring to your parents’ place. You still remember that day even though it has been years since it happened. You were still living at the manor with everyone back then and your life was somewhat not a mess. Your mom made you wear an excessively tight dress with lots of tulles and tied your hair in a bun so tight you wonder how she didn’t rip your scalp apart. Then she introduced you to every young man your age that attended the party until she found one who seemed to pique your interest and left you there. That man, whom your mother deemed very well educated and of good composition, turned out to be a complete ass who kept talking down to you. Well, until you threw your champagne cup at him and insulted his whole family tree and ran out (but not without walking on your dress and falling flat on the wooden floor).

Your parents barely managed to keep their business with the boy's parents and you were sent to a boarding school overseas for two years (holidays included). Lord knows those were some of the best two years of your life. You remind yourself of all the good memories you made in England and how you met your boyfriend- now ex- but your phone ringing in the background snatches you out of those moments 

You groan, “What again” 

The number on the screen doesn’t ring a bell so you answer carefully.

“Hello?” Maybe this is the call you’ve been waiting for.

The person on the other end seems as hesitant as you are “ Hello? Kim Y/n? I'm Jung Hoseok. Remember me? I think one of our friends set us up? For an event ?” Your heart skips a beat, his voice is even more sensual than you remembered. 

Fourth miracle ♪

“Oh! Yes, Hoseok! Hello!! It’s nice to finally hear from you! I’m surprised Chan managed to convince you. How are you ?” You try to stay polite despite the more than odd situation

Hoseok clears his throat “Um… I’m- good, thanks. Listen, this is super weird, would you like to meet up? So we can talk more properly?” His tone is hesitant but hopeful (somehow??)

You chuckle, not expecting the offer but agreeing.

“I’m still at my place but I know a nice cafe downtown. It’s very quiet so we can talk without being disturbed. I’ll send you the address and meet you there in… let’s say half an hour alright?” You try to sound as confident as possible despite the furious beats of your heart. 

“Okay, see you there!” He hangs up and you let out a breath you haven't even realized you were holding. 

You send a message to Chan thanking him for the help, then scold him for not telling you he talked to Hoseok and then freaking out because you have a date in thirty minutes with a stranger you’re supposed to introduce to your parents as your date in three days. 

You know you can’t do dates. The fact hits you even harder when you enter the cafe and see him. You suddenly feel way too overdressed for this even though you’re only wearing a plain black dress you still took fifteen minutes to choose. Hoseok is sitting at a table in the back corner of the room, a cup of coffee in his hand and a computer opened on his right. You walk up to him and greet him. “Hello again. It’s nice to see you again.” He stands up and shakes the hand you stretch out. “The pleasure’s all mine. How long has it been? Five years? More?” He says with a smile that makes his eyes disappear and dimples appear at the side of his mouth. “Long enough” Your eyes meet and you suddenly feel very overwhelmed by his presence. It reminds you of how it made you feel: he smells good, looks good and something in the way his eyes sparkle makes your heart weep.

You clear and break the contact before sitting. After a waitress comes to take your order, you and Hoseok start talking, about everything and anything, getting to know each other a little, catching up and you realize that you two have surprisingly good chemistry.

“Well, for example, you ordered black coffee before I arrived. No milk or sugar. So I can say that you’re someone who likes to be efficient in every possible way. You like things to be done precisely in your work but also want to keep things simple there, which might be a reason for your success. You’re wearing a high-end sweater in a very trendy outfit and colour-matched your briefcase to your shoes, which tells me you’re also a very organized person. I didn’t do much research on you, just enough to know what you do for a living and how popular you are with the opposite sex, but based on what I see now I can guess many things about your personality” You conclude your little analysis with a smile and take a sip of your latte, living Hoseok speechless. 

Finally, he laughs “Wow, I have never been analyzed this way. Especially on a first date. That’s impressive! Did you study psychology ?”

Your heart skips a beat upon hearing the word date but you don’t let it show. “I was a bookworm as a teenager and my parents have a huge library where I spent most of my childhood. I think I have read dozens of psychology books. It helped me a lot in my college years and then in my work” You smile at him, avoiding mentioning that you read psychology books because you tried to understand why you felt so blue all the time as a child and also why your parents were so mean to you. 

“What would your coffee order say about you?” Hoseok asks, pulling you out of your thoughts. 

You smile mischievously.

“Well, I’ll try not to be too biased but I ordered a latte so I’d say that I am a people pleaser with a tendency to overextend myself and neglect my needs if I can help someone. I’m probably very generous and helpful but also very sweet and imaginative. I asked for extra foam on top, which could suggest I’m still a child at heart, or that I didn’t have a proper childhood with loving parents and all. I also wanted an extra shot of expresso inside, so maybe I lack sleep or I want my life to be bolder and more adventurous. I think that’s it” You smile at him.

After a brief silence, Hoseok speaks. “I’m sorry that your childhood wasn’t that great.” Hoseok puts his hand on top of yours. It might be a bit inappropriate for a first date with someone you barely know but, for some reason, everything feels right with him. "Chan mentioned it briefly when I had him on the phone the other day after he asked me to be your date for the family event. Life wasn’t hard for me either when I was a child, you know”

You grab his hand

“It’s okay, Hoseok. I’m doing fine now. I have my own place and everything far from my parents but I just have to come to their parties now and then.” You sigh “I still don’t know how Chan managed to convince you though. He can barely convince his mother to make him some dumplings” You laugh.

“I owed him a great deal. He let me crash at his place for almost a year after I broke up with my girlfriend when I was in uni. I was living in her apartment and the dorms were full. Since my parents were too far from the campus and I couldn’t find any apartments or frat to live in, Chan welcomed me in. If not for his help, I wouldn’t be where I am now” 

Your eyes grow big. Chan never mentioned it, which is quite surprising because he told you his entire life up to his first memory. 

“He never told me” Hoseok shrugs “Well, let’s not beat around the bush anymore! My family is organizing a big gala in three days. It’s an unspoken rule to come accompanied because the dinner turns into a ball when midnight hits. That’s cliché, right? Since my family is the host and my mother is a pain in the ass, I need a partner and you might be able to help me”  You raise a brow .

“If you’re willing to do this with me I promise to make it worth your while. There are a lot of influential people coming so I’m sure that you will be able to find some to do business with. It’s a win-win situation! I have a partner to dance with so my family won’t be on my back for at least a few months and you will leave the party with contacts for work. So, what do you say?”  You look at him with what you hope to be the best hopeful look you have, and his quick answer surprises you.

“I'm in!” 

Another Miracle ♪

He winks at you and you feel your heart giving up on you. “YES! I mean- great! I guess we just have to make up the story of how we met before I introduce you to my family, then”  

You try to remain calm because you don’t want to scare Hoseok off, but you’re screaming with joy interiorly. Or crying in panic. Who knows.

After about an hour of talking with Hoseok, you go back to your place with a very big smile on your face, very happy that you finally have someone to go with at the gala (and who might make the night a little bit more fun).

You and Hoseok message each other all night, exchanging information about your life and family. He tells you he is the owner of an emerging finance firm in the country, and that he has a house on the outskirts of Seoul where he lives when he isn’t working overseas. Hoseok has an older sister who got married last summer and a grey cat who’s probably in his house waiting for him to return. 

12 pm | Hoseok: He’s probably chasing mice and eating bugs, though so don’t worry about him starving or anything Y/n

His message makes you laugh.

Hoseok turns out to be a very funny guy who has a strong personality and thrives for the success he says he is slowly getting. You notice he never really talks about work and tries to be as vague as possible if he does and you’re very thankful for that because it’s a sensitive subject for you. Especially because your parents have put so much pressure on you to be the best in everything while never giving you any credit for your work when you were still living with them that you avoid talking about any work-related thing you do by fear of being a failure to the eyes of others. Plus, it adds to the mystery around him, making him a whole lot more attractive.

You’re very happy to see that you and Hoseok have a lot in common and you don’t know whether it’s because of the time or the fact that you can still smell his perfume but you react way too intensely to each of his messages and the blush of your face when he says that you look cuter than he thought makes you wonder how long can it take you to catch feelings for someone.

No, it can’t be. You are not catching feelings for your ‘one-night stand’. You tell yourself that you’re too romantic and that the foreign feeling in your stomach is just the excitement linked with the current situation, right?

Hoseok arrived to pick you up at your apartment a little less than an hour ago. But he only found you in a mess of sparkly blue tulle and high heels, a glass of champagne in your hand and tears rolling down your cheeks. 

“I can’t do this, Hoseok. I’m sorry”

For someone introverted, you sure were telling a lot of personal things to this somewhat stranger-turned-friend. You tell him about how your mother called again, already blaming you for the bottle of wine your brother broke and every other little dumb thing that went wrong. You rant about how much she hates everything you do despite trying your best to satisfy her expectations. 

The whole time, Hoseok just listens, an arm around your shoulder and a hand wiping your tears. It should be weird for you to let a stranger become this close to you this quickly and anyone would tell you to be careful because he is still someone you barely know but everything feels right with Hoseok and you feel like you can trust him completely. You may be wrong but, for now, you just want to enjoy what is happening. 

When you manage to calm down, Hoseok tells you some fun facts about himself to cheer you up and then asks if you’re ready to go. You look at your reflection in the bottle of champagne. You’re definitely not ready. Nothing the magic of makeup can’t fix again, thank the lords. 

Once you’re sure to be ready, you pour Hoseok a glass of champagne. He is a bit reluctant at first because he will be driving but you insist.

“You’re gonna need it, trust me,” you grab your glass, fill it again and clink it against Hoseok’s.

“Cheers,” you say at the same time before drinking the content of your glasses. Champagne is going to be your way to cope tonight and you know there will be lots of it at the gala. It also helps calm your nerves, if you don’t abuse it. 

“Okay, we should get going.” You stand up and grab your jacket and your keys. 

Hoseok holds the door open for you and offers to carry your bag, which surprises you. “We’re supposed to play boyfriend and girlfriend from now on, right? So come on, Angel, let me help you.” His smile is so bright and heartwarming that it’s painful to see. 

The champagne must be acting up, right?

Or maybe it’s just the nerves and apprehension.

Right?

And Lord knows that you are nervous. And it shows.  “So, how did we meet?” You ask Hoseok as you rearrange his scarf for the nth time in the last ten minutes. 

Hoseok chuckles, his eyes leaving the road for a second to look at you. “Y/n, you’ve asked me the same questions over and over since we climbed into the car. You don’t have to be this nervous, it’s okay. Breathe”  

You try to breathe your nerves out “Turn right at the next stop” You guide him to the manor.

“The nerves are killing me, Hoseok. What if my family sense that we barely know each other?? It would be worse than if I came alone. Oh god, I should’ve drank more champagne” You carefully rearrange a rebel strand of hair in your bun. 

“No more champagne for you, Y/n. Unless you want to throw up at your parents’ feet, which I don’t think they would appreciate.” His comment makes you both smile. 

You turn your head and look at him; it feels like time slows. Your smile slowly fades as you detail his delicate features. If you weren't already tipsy from the champagne, you would’ve certainly blushed when he catches you staring. But you don’t mind, and it seems like he doesn't either. Has he always looked this glowing? A swarm of butterflies is set free in your stomach and, when your eyes fall down his lips, you can’t help wondering how soft they would feel against yours.

I’m too tipsy for this 

You shake your head and look at the road again. You need to focus. You are not falling for your old crush again. 

Yet somehow you are. 

You are because when your eyes meet his, your heart skips a beat and you can feel chills travel through your back. 

You are because the way he grips your hip and holds your hand as you two waltz through the dancing room makes you feel precious. And dizzy.

You know you are and you can’t help it. All it took was 3 days. 

This night is going too smoothly to be true: your parents were charmed by Hoseok, he gets along well with your father and can hold a good conversation with pretty much any guest. The dinner felt like it lasted an eternity but you are thankful that Hoseok was there to liven it up. He made you laugh so much you thought you would choke on your food at some point. 

Everything he does is so infuriatingly adorable, it only makes you like him more. You can’t help a fond smile from appearing on your face when you look at him. 

"I’m such a cliché,” You thought as you ate the last of your dessert. 

But you don’t mind the cliché situation you are in right now, waltzing in a princess-like gown with your *previously old* crush whom you met again after 5 years of not seeing him, who is holding you a bit too tight for it to be innocent. 

You don’t know if it was because of the wine the alcohol in your veins, the excitement, or some kind of mutual attraction, but somehow between the moment you admitted to having a crush on Hoseok and when he said you were beautiful, you and Hoseok found yourselves hidden in the gardens, his lips on yours. Your grip on his neck tightens when his kiss deepens.

Well, that was not expected 

But definitely a welcomed miracle 

[strrynghtskyys]

Rain

🌧️ Rated T

🌧️ Taekook

🌧️ 12k, Completed

🌧️ strangers to lovers, fluff, slow burn, character development, ceo!jungkook x artstudent!taehyung

🌧️ CEO Jungkook is constantly busy with meetings, dinners, and a hard decisions to make for his company. He’s busy enough that he’s come to only care about his company and the board of directors — that’s what boosts the bottom line. So why is it that the painter that sits alone at the beach he passes everyday, painting by himself, catches his heart and pulls him in? What is it about him that makes Jungkook open his home and his heart to this stranger, changing himself in the process?

🌧️ AO3

🌧️ Wattpad

Masterlist

[mondainai]

Sobbing. I remember this story and felt for the 52 HERTZ friendo. I'm so glad they have someone else!

REALLY IMPORTANT PSA

THE 52 HERTZ WHALE HAS A FRIEND.

HE IS NOT THE LONELIEST WHALE IN THE WORLD.

MARINE SCIENTISTS HEARD TWO 52 HERTZ CALLS WITHIN TEN MINUTES OF ONE ANOTHER OFF THE COAST OF CALIFORNIA.

I REPEAT: HE HAS A FRIEND. SOMEONE CALLED BACK.

[jessikahathaway]

“Besties for the Resties?” - JJK (M)

Hello everyone, I hope you’re doing well. I’ve been having a tough time recently, so please try to understand if I’m not always super active here. I want to be and hopefully I can be here but if I slink into the abyss for a bit I apologize. So, I wanted to post this story so you all have something from me.

Please enjoy! Hopefully I will see you soon <3

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook X Reader

Genre: BFFs to Lovers (I love a trope pls), Angst, Romance, Smut

Warnings: Reader is orphaned, jk is a lil boob in the beginning (he works on it don’t worry), a slap (deserved one), alcohol/getting drunk, fainting/passing out, Jks antics (they deserve a warning tbh), Yoongi and Hoseok sneaking in for some cameo time (also-Yeri!)-SMUT WARNINGS: Oral (F!receiving), explicit language, unprotected sex (she has an implant but I stg don’t do it-this is fiction), Reader likes jks nips (who doesn’t tho?), kinda mushy and emotional sex, creampie.

Words: 21.2k (Listen I am just as shocked as you-)

Summary: Jungkook had always been your friend since the day you two met as young kids. But what happens when your friendship is put to the test? Can you remain “besties for the resties?” Or will years of friendship be lost in the blink of an eye?

Wait, you’re best friends with the Jeon Jungkook?

Yes.

You mean the most eligible bachelor in the country?

That’s the one, yeah.

Oh my God! You should come to our party next weekend! Of course you’ll have to bring your friend!

He’s been busy recently, I’m sorry.

Can you at least give me his phone number?

This was how a majority of conversations at your college went. People usually found out either because of Twitter, Instagram, or whatever social media was hot right now.

Jungkook could always be found on these apps and usually, one way or another, you’d get roped into it as well.

Jeon Jungkook, 25 and heir to the Jeon billion dollar fashion mogul. But you’ve always known him as Kook, Kookie or Jungkook.

In your younger years, your mother had been a housekeeper and your dad ran a gym. It was an honest living and you were happy.

But when the Jeon’s put out an application for a new housekeeping position your mother couldn’t refuse. She’d applied and gotten the job. So you all moved and thus began your little friendship with the Jeon heir.

Mr. and Mrs. Jeon weren’t the typical ritzy asshole parents. They were welcoming, they were kind and they encouraged Jungkook to play with you, as someone who wasn’t a ‘spoiled brat’, as they liked to say.

Jungkook’s other friends tended to be a little more… well… over zealous.

Jimin was heir to a jewelry empire and Seokjin’s family were all celebrity chefs and Namjoon even had deep pockets due to his family being smart investors. Mainly in the Jeon brand but, it was good money.

They all were nice enough, never questioning Jungkook’s friendship with you-even building some of their own.

But at the end of the day, you and Jungkook were thick as thieves.

You weren’t as outgoing as they were, you liked staying home and reading or cleaning, maybe doing a little room decorating. But Jungkook loved to come over to your small apartment, he loved washing the dishes after you both cooked dinner. He liked doing the laundry and folding it nicely.

But as of recently, he hadn’t been able to come over nearly as much. With a new merger between The Jeon Label and some other foreign brand he’d been stuck at work for what felt like weeks.

He’d still text you and try to call if he could but, it still stung just a bit.

To be reminded of your place.

You were just hoping today he could make an exception.

You sat in your living room, trying not to cry as you looked at your phone.

Kook ❤️: still at work. Srry, I probs can’t make it tonight 😩

You: not at all?

Kook ❤️: it’s stupid busy here, even the interns are still here 🥲

You: bummer.

He’d really forgotten huh?

All these years and he’d forgotten the anniversary of your parents death. The one day out of the year you asked him to be with you.

All of his friends had messaged you their condolences, how they’re thinking of you.

But you only wanted one person here with you…

The one you cared about more than anything.

And he couldn’t make it…

You’d long understood that Jungkook was oblivious to your feelings. He saw you as the quiet friend, his sweet Y/N that he needs to protect. But, never as anything more.

It did sting when you’d see his Instagram flooded with influencers who were much prettier than you, who had more money, who could handle the stress of his job and title.

But you?

You set your phone down and sighed. Even a phone call would’ve been nice. But he’d forgotten, you tried not to be upset. But the ache in your chest made you mad.

Ring ring… ring ring…

You picked up the phone quickly. “Hello?”

“Hey Y/N,” a gruff voice sighed over the receiver.

“Oh… hey Yoongi,” you sighed.

Your history tutor made a small scoff. “Alright, don’t sound too disappointed,” he complained.

“No-I’m not! It’s just…”

“You were hoping for a call from Jeon huh?”

Were you that obvious?

“Maybe…”

“Has he not called you yet?” Yoongi wondered aloud.

“No, he’s stuck at the office apparently,” you sighed, biting your lip.

“He couldn’t even like… call you or some shit?” Yoongi asked, sounding irritated on your behalf.

“Well-there’s this big merger happening and-”

“Whoa whoa, no. Y/N, no. You never ask him for anything. You never get mad at him, you make excuses for him but not today man. Not today of all days. Did he forget?”

A small hiccup came from your mouth.

“I think so…”

“Oh Y/N…”

His voice was soft, something unusual for the typically gruff and aloof man.

It made the damn burst.

“I just wanted him here with me… I-Is that asking too much? On the day my world shattered? The day I lost everything? Yoongi even his parents called me this morning! Jimin, Namjoon and even Jin found time in their busy schedules to at least send me a sweet message! I-I’m so hurt…” you cried.

“Tell him that,” Yoongi offered.

“I don’t want to tell him… he should’ve remembered, he should know what today is…”

The day your parents were involved in a horrific car crash. Ripping them from this world and your arms so brutally.

“He should. It's not right that he forgot,” Yoongi sighed. “Listen, I gotta go but… I’m so sorry for your loss, and maybe we can go get coffee soon to make you feel better, hm?”

You sniffled and nodded, wiping your eyes.

“Sounds good Yoongi, thanks,” you sighed before hanging up.

You laid on the couch, curling up. You didn’t even bother to cover the dinner you’d made up.

You were too sick to eat it now.

—

Jungkook was furiously going over these numbers.

Nothing made any fucking sense at this point.

He’d been there since six that morning and it was nearing ten o’clock. He’d tried talking to you to get his mind off it, but you weren’t answering. Maybe you’d gone to bed early, you did mention there was a test coming up you were cramming for.

His eyes were tired.

His back hurt.

A knock came to his office door as his father stepped in, a gentle yet tired look on his face.

“Hey son,” he smiled, walking in.

Jungkook welcomed the distraction.

“Hey dad,” he beamed, standing up.

“I’m surprised you’re still here,” he said, looking at Jungkook’s mess of a desk. Jungkook blushed softly and rubbed his neck.

“Just got a few more things to go over,” he shrugged. “Then I’m going home to pass out.”

“Ah, so you must’ve already called Y/N then? Usually you two get together today,” he said, looking at a few papers Jungkook had on his desk.

“Um… no? Was I supposed to?” He asked, rubbing his eyes, exhaustion creeping over him.

Jungkook’s father looked shocked and worst of all-disappointed.

“Oh Jungkook, don’t tell me you forgot…”

Jungkook’s brows furrowed. “Forgot what? It’s… it’s not her birthday! It’s the dead of summer!”

“Jeon Jungkook, that girl is your best friend, and you forgot the anniversary of her parents passing?!”

Jungkook’s blood ran cold.

“N-No… I-It’s not until…” his eyes narrowed on the calendar on his desk. “Oh shit…”

“I taught you better…”

“But this merger and-and the company-”

“If this company didn’t exist… if our wealth was liquidated tomorrow half of your friends wouldn’t be there anymore son… but I know for sure one would always be there, no matter what,” Mr. Jeon sighed. “Go, apologize. She deserves that much. I’ll finish up here.”

Jungkook nodded, grabbing his jacket and keys and rushing down the steps.

Fuck!

Fuck!

How could I forget? He cried internally as he rushed to his car.

He tried to call you, but the call went right to voicemail.

His car wove through the streets. He stopped at some twenty-four hour grocery store and got some soft pink flowers that he hoped would at least ease your anger at him.

When he arrived at your small apartment his heart was hammering in his chest. He knocked, and waited. Knocked again. Still no answer.

“Y-Y/N?” He called.

No response.

“Please open the door?”

Still nothing.

He frowned and tried the door, to his surprise it was open. He walked in, looking around for you. But his stomach dropped when he saw a nice dinner laid out on the table. A few of his favorites and yours put together with care.

This must be why you’d wanted to make dinner plans with him… he’s so fucking stupid.

He walked into the living room and his heart stopped. You were on the couch, face puffy and swollen from crying.

He felt like an ass.

His best friend needed him… and he wasn’t here.

He made his way to the couch, noticing you were dressed nice. You’d done your nails, hair and he could see you’d done your makeup as well but it was mostly gone now.

“Oh Y/N…” he sat on his knees in front of you, running his fingers through your hair and trying not to cry. He didn’t deserve to cry now… you were the one he’d disappointed, you were the one hurting.

Slowly, your eyes flickered open and took in his appearance.

“Kook?”

Your head hurt from crying, you could feel the smeared mascara and eyeliner coating your eyes.

“Y/N, I’m so-”

You didn’t let him finish, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into your arms. Hiding your face in his neck like you had since you were little.

“You’re here…”

His hands ran up your back as he clung to you.

“I’m here bug, right here,” he said, using your childhood nickname that he only used when you were mad.

“I thought you’d forgotten…”

Jungkook swallowed hard. “I did forget, dad… dad reminded me and I rushed to get here. I’m so sorry, bug. I’ve been so stressed from work but you-you’re more important,” he said firmly.

“You’re here now… that’s all I care about,” you smiled into his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve been here earlier… you made dinner and-and you dressed up so nice, I feel like such an ass Y/N,” he frowned, holding your head.

“You should,” you said, pulling back and wiping your tears. “But you came, you apologized, I accept those. So don’t feel guilty, you can make it up to me.”

Jungkook nodded enthusiastically. “Of course! Whatever you want, I’ll do it!”

You smiled. “Okay, redo then. Next week, there’s a cute little boba place opening and I want to go, they’re supposed to have good prices too!”

“That’s all you want? Cause I can get us anywhere Y/N, anything. Nothing is off the table,” he said.

“Then boba,” you smiled. “That’s what I want, Jungkook, boba and time with you.”

Jungkook couldn’t help but mirror your grin. He nodded, kissing your head and holding you close.

“Then we’ll do boba.”

—

The week passed by uneventfully. You had your tests and such, Yoongi was a little scolding when you told him you’d forgiven Jungkook so quickly.

“He needs to know he hurt you, Y/N, or he’s just going to keep doing it.”

You shook your head. “No Yoongi, he apologized and I know he felt awful-”

“He should’ve, what he did was wrong,” Yoongi pointed out.

The two of you were sitting in the cafe, drinking watered down cheap coffee, but you were happy.

Jungkook hadn’t mentioned the boba place since that night but you knew he was busy. It was alright, you’d texted him the address and time so you two could meet up there.

“Y/N, when are you going to tell him?” Yoongi asked, sipping on his decaf americano. Utter sin, decaffeinated coffee.

“T-Tell him what?”

Yoongi raised a brow. “You’re such a shit liar,” he sighed.

“I can’t tell him Yoongi, I’m just his childhood friend, he probably hasn’t even noticed I’ve grown boobs,” you sighed.

“He’d be dumb not to notice those cause damn-”

You swatted him, trying not to blush. “Stop that, don’t ogle me in public.

“Are you inviting me to ogle in private?” He teased.

“In your dreams,” you snickered.

Yoongi nodded. “Sometimes.”

“I can’t just tell him I love him Yoongi! The last girlfriend he had was so manipulative and only wanted him for his money, he’s been defensive about dating since… I-I don’t want him to feel pressured around me like that and I’m going to be the cliche. I don’t want to ruin what we have, what if he says no?” You frowned.

“Then he’s an idiot and I’ll swoop in and take you for myself,” Yoongi shrugged.

You narrowed your eyes at him, flicking his nose and watching him pout.

Yoongi had made it clear he was interested in you before. But when you’d confessed that you were in love with your best friend, he’d politely backed off. Although he still made it known he was attracted to you.

“There will be no swooping in, cause I’m not saying anything,” you frowned.

“You should tell him, Y/N, cause you keep thinking of the negatives. What if Jungkook is also in love with you? What if he says he loves you and wants to be with you as well? Isn’t that worth the risk?”

Your heart hammered in your chest.

I love you, Y/N…

God you wanted to hear those words so fucking bad…

A text came through your phone, a soft smile gracing your features.

“Ew, you got all heart eyes on me… is it him?” Yoongi asked.

Jungkook had sent you a picture of Bam, playing with the new toy you’d gotten him.

Kook ❤️: Bam loves his new toy 🥺

You: of course he does, mother knows best.

You and Jungkook had called you Bam’s mom since the second Jungkook brought him home.

Kook ❤️: he needs his mom, he’s being a brat today.

You: 🙄 Jungkook every time he acts up I can’t play bad cop.

Kook ❤️: why tho???? Save me… he’s bouncing off the fucking walls, and he’s not listening to meeeee.

You: make him listen???

Kook ❤️: our son misses his mom, come onnnn come see him

You: I stg

Kook ❤️: is that a yes?

You: I’ll be over in 15, tell Bam mommy’s coming.

Kook ❤️: yes dear!!

You rolled your eyes and sipped down the rest of your coffee.

Yoongi raised a brow at your conversation you’d left up on your phone.

“You two share custody of a mammoth dog?” He asked.

“No, Bam is Jungkook’s dog, he just likes to call me the mother of his dog,” you sighed.

Yoongi’s face contorted. “That’s… that’s a little intimate don’t you think?”

“It’s a dog not a baby,” you shrugged, standing up.

“Not yet,” he warned.

You scoffed and thanked him for the little coffee date before heading out and towards the subway.

Jungkook’s penthouse was rather far.

You approached his building calmly, they all knew you here. You came by frequently.

“Ah, Miss Y/N! Mr. Jeon said to expect you,” Minwoo the doorman said, smiling.

“Thanks Minwoo! I’ll be heading up,” you smiled back.

He nodded, calling the elevator for you.

You stepped in and held your breath. Elevators had always made you nervous. But thankfully this one was a generally quick ride.

You got up to Jungkook’s floor and walked in, Bam quickly running to you after you entered.

“Hi my baby!” You smiled, kissing his head as he wiggled his butt excitedly.

“Ah! Mommy’s home!” Jungkook said, coming to greet you.

“Yes yes, now why did I have to cut my outing short? Hmm? Bammy, have you been a bad boy for daddy?” You narrowed your eyes and Bam shrunk.

“He shit on the rug, tore up my brand new couch and got into the cupboard and ate all my instant ramen!” He complained.

“Well the last one is your fault, don’t put anything low unless you get a lock on the cupboard idiot,” you poked his cheek. “But the pooping and tearing stuff up isn’t okay Bam,” you said in your best firm tone.

Bam seemed to pout at being told off.

“Now, you need to be good for your daddy huh? Need to behave so daddy can do his work yeah? Otherwise mommy can’t bring you anymore toys,” you scolded.

Bam came closer and nudged his nose to your hand. You sighed and patted his head, scratching his ears and kissing his nose.

“Go play,” you said, patting his butt.

He did just that, finding your toy and throwing it around.

Jungkook sighed behind you, putting his hand on your shoulder.

“Magic, I swear to you. Every time I scold him he just nips at my fingers! Little brat,” he growled.

You shook your head.

“He’s a puppy, Kook, he’s going to get into trouble, but be firm and reward good behavior. Correct the bad, it’ll all work out. He’s got a great temperament and a good daddy,” you smiled.

“Aw, you’re so sweet to me,” he smiled.

“Well, I try,” you chuckled.

You two migrated to the couch, and you could see where Bam had chewed on it, earning the pup a sharp glare from you. Jungkook just covered it with a blanket and put on a TV show for you to watch.

You relaxed, being in Jungkook’s presence was always calming, had been since you were little.

He’d always been kind, soft with you and tender. But he also pushed you to get out of your comfort zone every once in a while and that was good too.

You made him feel human. Like he wasn’t this big name on a billboard, he was just Jungkook. Not Mr. Jeon, not the heir to a multibillion dollar company… just Jungkook.

And he loved that.

“God I’m tired,” you complained, rubbing your eyes.

Jungkook looked at the clock. It was late, you two had been chatting about random stuff most of the night.

“It’s almost eleven,” he frowned. “I’ve got to get up early…”

“Oh yeah? What for?”

“Marriage meeting,” he sighed.

You damn near choked.

“A-A what?” You squeaked.

“Marriage meeting, mom and dad want me to meet this girl from the states,” he frowned. “She’s supposed to be really nice and her dad is interested in running our brand in with his. He owns luxury department store and malls throughout North America and Europe, it’s a big deal and could be super good for the company.”

Your throat went dry.

“I-I thought your parents didn’t care who you marry?” You asked softly.

“Ah, they don’t really. But I’m getting older and if it’ll help the company I don’t see anything wrong with it… at least I know she won’t be in it for the money. She’s got plenty of her own,” he sighed.

Your stomach clenched painfully.

“I-I see,” you bit your lip.

“Her name is Elsie,” he said.

“Cool…”

He rubbed his eyes, blinking slowly. “I think I’m going to bed, you can stay if you want. Or call Naomi, she can take you home as well. Don’t take public transport now, it’s way too late,” he said, placing a gentle kiss to your head. “Night bug!”

You whispered what you thought was a good night but you weren’t sure.

Jungkook…

Married?

Oh God…

—

You hadn’t really spoken to Jungkook much in the days leading up to the boba outing.

But Yoongi was adamant you needed to tell him about your feelings. And soon.

“Yoongi, I don’t think it’s a good idea, especially with him meeting Elsie and… and everything with the company I don’t want to make him upset,” you frowned.

“But him hurting you is okay? Y/N, your feelings are just as important as his and he’s not seeing that. You need to say something! Or you’re really going to regret it,” he frowned.

You were getting ready for your little redo with Jungkook and Yoongi had come over for his notes and decided to stay and chat.

You put on a cute little white tennis skirt with white stockings and sneakers, you had your simple sky blue t-shirt on and were putting on your earrings.

“I’ll tell him eventually but-I can’t do it right now,” you reasoned. “It’s not the right time.”

“Then when is the right time, Y/N? If you keep making excuses and putting it off you’re only going to suffer more,” he sighed.

“I can wait a little longer,” you said.

“If you say so,” Yoongi said, done with arguing for now.

“How do I look?” You asked, turning and smoothing your skirt down.

Yoongi gave a soft smile. “You look great, do you want me to drop you off?”

“Sure!”

You'd shown up a little earlier than your agreed time but it didn’t matter, you smiled and waited, texting Jungkook that you were here.

An hour passed.

Then two.

Three…

No Jungkook.

You tried calling him.

You tried texting his friends, only Jin answered and he said he hadn’t spoken to him recently enough.

He asked if you were okay. You bluffed, telling him it wasn’t far from your house so if nothing else you’d get home quickly.

Why wasn’t he here…?

“Hey Jungkook…” you trailed off leaving your third voicemail. “Um… it's me again, the boba place closes in an hour and… and you’re still not here. I’m worried, are you okay? Call me please…”

Clouds rolled over the city, as the boba place closed.

Your heart was stomped into dust.

You'd waited six hours and he never showed, didn’t even text you.

He begged for a redo, a chance to make it up to you and… and he does this?

Your tears rolled down your face as the rain started. You couldn’t believe he’d stood you up.

How could he just forget about you like that?

“Fucking stupid… I’m so fucking stupid,” you cried.

You tried to call Yoongi but your phone died. With a sigh you started to walk. It was maybe two miles back to your apartment and the rain didn’t look like it was going to let up anytime soon.

You didn’t even have an umbrella to cover you up.

You shivered as you walked down the street, it was getting cold for a summer night.

As you walked your legs cramped from the chill and the soaked clothes clinging to you.

“Y/N?” A voice called from the road. You turned your head and saw Mr. Jeon getting out of his car and hurrying over to you.

“M-Mr. Jeon,” you stammered out.

“Oh sweetheart what happened?! Why are you out here in the rain?” He said, taking off his jacket and covering you.

You broke down in tears all over again. Mr. Jeon ushered you to the car, turning up the heat.

His driver was waiting patiently, giving you a smile.

“Tell me what happened, why are you soaked?”

“J-Jungkook and I were supposed to… to go to the new boba shop downtown and… and I waited for six hours and he never showed,” you cried, shivering in his seat.

Mr. Jeon’s face turned furious.

“He did what?”

“W-When he forgot my parents' anniversary… h-he wanted to make it up to me so… so I asked him to meet me there for the opening so we could… just hang out and… I tried to call him… text him… he didn’t answer,” you hiccuped.

Mr. Jeon growled in frustration.

“Edward, take us to my son’s apartment please, I’d like to have a word with him,” Mr. Jeon said coldly.

“No, Mr. Jeon please it’s not-”

“If my son is going to treat a woman like this, he is not ready to take over the company. He needs to learn a valuable lesson. And he needs to see what happens when he hurts people,” he stated firmly.

You were quiet for the rest of the car ride.

Mr. Jeon took you up the elevator, rubbing your shoulders to try and get you to warm up.

He didn’t even knock on the door, he barged in and hollered loudly. “Jeon Jungkook, you come here this instant!”

It was late, so Jungkook stumbled out of his room in his sweatpants.

He’d been sleeping?

“Dad? What are you-Y/N? Why are you wet?”

Mr. Jeon slammed his fist on the door to shut it behind you so hard it made you jump.

“Kitchen. Now.”

Jungkook swallowed in fear, but nodded, heading towards the kitchen as his father escorted you and sat you down. Jungkook looked at you in confusion.

“Jeon Jungkook tell me right now why I found Y/N walking through the streets alone and soaked!”

“I don’t know dad! I have no idea why she was out there!”

“You don’t remember?” You squeaked out. “Y-You forgot me? Again?”

Jungkook’s face turned frustrated for a moment. “Y/N, why were you out in the rain?”

“I was waiting…”

“Jungkook, do you remember what you asked for? Do you remember that you forgot her parents' anniversary?”

“I apologized and I asked…” recognition and horror crossed his face. “Oh fuck… the boba shop… I swore I put it on my calendar! I-It wasn’t today originally was it-”

“Jungkook! That doesn’t matter,” Mr. Jeon rubbed his face in frustration.

“Jungkook, she waited for you for six hours! Where were you!?”

“Elsie and I got lunch and then she came over for a while and… and then we um,” he rubbed his neck. And then you saw it. A dark purple mark on his neck.

They’d slept together.

You wanted to throw up.

“Jungkook, I raised you better than this! You know better than to treat the people you claim to care about this way! How dare you leave her soaked and waiting in the rain for you! Do you know how dangerous it could’ve been? She was walking home! In the fucking rain and that damn shop was nearly three miles away from her apartment!” He screamed.

You shrunk at the realization.

He didn’t care…

The second a pretty girl comes along, he forgets all about you. Are you that boring? That uninteresting?

Bam came over and set his head on your lap, whimpering at the loud noises.

“Dad I’m sor-”

“Don’t you dare apologize to me before you say sorry to her,” he snarled.

Jungkook frowned. “I’m sorry Y/N,” he said softly.

“Jungkook I-”

“I’m taking you off the merger,” Mr. Jeon declared.

Jungkook’s eyes widened in shock. “B-But dad I’ve worked so hard!”

“You’ve forgotten, Jungkook. You’ve forgotten about what really matters. All the money in the world couldn’t buy you love… it can’t buy you happiness. Money can’t fix what you’ve done wrong,” Mr. Jeon said.

“But I’ve worked so long to do this! You can’t just take me off of it! The board will think I’m incompetent!”

“And maybe you are!”

The room got quiet.

“I should’ve known you were too young to take over, you’re not ready yet. I’ve told you time and time again that at the end of the day the company isn’t what’s important. Your family, your friends Jungkook, that’s what’s important!” He yelled.

“I know that!”

“Clearly you don’t! Have you even checked your phone?”

Jungkook was about to argue when he saw your face, you couldn’t even look at him.

“No, I haven’t,” he said.

Mr. Jeon looked at you.

“I called you…” you whispered. “I thought something bad had happened, because I believed you couldn’t forget me… not again,” you sniffled.

“Bug…”

“Don’t…” you begged. “Please don’t.”

You really tried to tamp down the anger, the fury. There were so many good memories with Jungkook.

But recently, not only his behavior but the behavior of people who wanted something from you just because he was your friend.

You’d never felt so utterly used.

“Do I really not matter enough to you? All these years of being your best friend and… and this is how you treat me? I know you’re busy, I know work is hard. But school is hard too, people aren’t nice all the time and sometimes I wish I could call you, but I don’t want to bother you at work,” You cried harder.

“Y/N please-”

“I called everyone trying to find you! I texted you! I called you, I even called your office! I was so petrified, I didn’t want to interrupt but they told me you were out! Why, Jungkook? Why… why don’t I matter to you at all?”

“That’s not true!” He cried.

“Then how could you forget me?! Again!” You screamed.

Mr. Jeon looked down.

Jungkook was stunned.

You never screamed at him, you didn’t scream at anybody. You were always so soft, so gentle and tender. You were understanding.

But Jungkook hurt you.

More than once.

And you were tired of it.

“I’m so sick of the person I love more than anything, hurting me like this… if this is how you’re going to treat me then I don’t want to be your friend anymore,” you said, voice breaking.

“No, Y/N, please! Please don’t do this, I love you so much, bug, please!” He said, tears in his own eyes.

“I love you too, but it’s not enough, Jungkook… I’m never going to be enough for you, and I’m tired of trying. Good luck with Elsie, good luck with being a billionaire, and good luck with the company… it’s obviously important,” you said, standing on shaky legs. “Mr. Jeon, I’d like to go home now… will you please take me?”

“No! Let me take you, let’s talk about this bug, don’t do this!” Jungkook sobbed, standing up.

“I’ll take you home, Y/N, come along,” Mr. Jeon said.

“Goodbye, Jeon… hope it’s worth it,” you said, turning to leave.

Jungkook scrambled to grab you, to plead to beg, whatever it took for you not to walk out that door. His chest ached at the sight of your swollen eyes and soaked frame.

He fucked up. He knew that, but if he could just explain…

Just as he was about to grab your wrist you turned and slapped him.

Hard.

“Don’t touch me. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Please, Jungkook. Just let me go.”

Jungkook froze, his cheek stinging but he could hardly feel it over the agonizing pain that flared in his chest.

The door shut firmly, leaving Jungkook in his apartment.

He fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face.

He was a fool…

And he’d lost you for good.

—

You called Yoongi a few days later.

“He forgot me,” you said softly.

“He what?”

“He never showed up that night… his dad found me walking home in the rain,” you explained.

“That motherfucker…” Yoongi growled.

“I told him I was done. I’m not going to see him anymore and I’m no longer his friend,” you said, your heart breaking with each word.

“Is that what you want?” Yoongi asked.

“Yes…?” You said it like it was a question.

“Well, it’s still fresh and it still hurts. Give yourself time to heal, maybe you can be friends again. He’s important to you,” Yoongi offered.

“But I’m not important to him,” you said, a few tears pricking your eyes.

“I wouldn’t say that either,” he sighed.

“Huh?”

“You two have been friends for over thirteen years Y/N, he cares about you. You can’t be friends with someone that long and not care about them,” he said.

“But he forgot-”

“I understand that, he was a shitty friend recently. And you gave him a chance and he didn’t follow through, but thirteen years is a long time. It’s hard to wipe the slate clean and walk away from that. I’m not saying you have to forgive him now, or ever. Forgiveness is mainly for you, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you more happy than when he’s around,” he said gently.

“I-I know…” you whispered.

“You never told him you love him, you should do that,” Yoongi stated.

“I can’t… not now,” you frowned.

“Maybe not now… maybe not even in a few months. But, if those feelings don’t go away? You need to say something to him,” he said firmly.

“Okay, I’ll… I’ll think about it,” you sighed.

“Hey, it’s your life and relationships, you do what you think is best but… that kind of love isn’t something you should ever-ever walk away from, no matter what,” he said.

“I’ll think about it, Yoongi, thank you,” you said.

You said goodbye and stared out your window.

Would you ever be able to forgive him?

—

Months passed and Jungkook stayed far away from you.

Just as you asked.

No texts.

No calls.

Nothing.

But even after four months apart, you still couldn’t delete his number from your phone.

You’d made a friend with a girl from your anthropology class. Yeri.

She’s super sweet and bubbly, kind and always down for some fun.

It was nice having a female friend. You were usually surrounded by men.

“Oooh, I like this one!” She said with a smile, holding up your emerald green cocktail dress Jungkook had gifted you on your 21st birthday.

Seeing it hurt your heart, but you knew you’d look good in it.

Jungkook had always had impeccable taste.

“Yeah, I like it,” you smiled.

You two were going to the club tonight, and you wanted to get smashed. News of Jungkook’s engagement to Elsie had been swarming the tabloids. Your heart ached at the thought of him being with someone else.

But you’d washed your hands clean of him.

Or so you thought...

Yeri and you arrived at the club a little after eleven.

The party was just getting started.

She went over and got you two some drinks, starting the night off with assessing your possible conquests. Yeri was bold and unashamed of her flirtatious nature. She’d never seen you go after any man! Even though you weren’t lacking attention from the opposite sex.

You just knew that you still weren’t over Jungkook. You missed him so much, your finger had hovered over his number so many times. His contact photo always made your chest ache. A cute selfie of him that he’d taken when he got you this phone for your birthday last year. It was nearing that time again. Fall was in full swing and winter was sure to follow.

Yeri pouted when you spaced out.

“Y/N? Are you sure you’re alright? You’ve been kinda down today?”

You had been.

It was the first year you hadn’t spent Jungkook’s birthday with him since you’d been friends and you heard from Jimin that he hadn’t done the usual big bash. Just something small and lowkey. Not his style at all. Jin said he didn’t even really want to celebrate this year, he’d been working so much and he didn’t care if anyone remembered his birthday.

You almost broke that night.

You had been sleeping when your reminder pinged at 12:00 AM on September first.

JUNGKOOKIE’S 25TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!

You’d managed to fall back asleep after sobbing in your pillows, but the ache still remained. You even had his birthday present wrapped in your closet. You’d saved up some money to get him a nice silver bracelet.

You got a cute engraving on it and everything.

JK + Y/N BFFs <3

But, time changes. It’s ever flowing and it’s difficult to comprehend.

However, you hoped he was still having fun. Still able to smile brightly, to laugh with his whole chest, to enjoy food that makes him happy, to-

“Y/N? Hey!”

You startled, realizing you’d been day dreaming...

Again.

“I’ll just be your wingwoman okay?” You said.

Yeri frowned but nodded. “Alright babe, I’m thinking of talking to that guy over there,” she pointed to an attractive man on the dance floor. He was moving his hips to the beat in a tantalizing fashion and you knew immediately why Yeri would love to take him home.

“Alright, game on,” you said, downing your drink.

The night progressed and Yeri discovered this Hoseok guy was quite the charmer.

They danced and hit it off rather well, and you watched from the bar as you drank yourself stupid...

--

It was nearing two in the morning and you were wasted.

Yeri and Hoseok were heading out but she was insistent that she find a ride for you before she left.

“Yerrrriiiii~” you cooed, leaning against her heavily.

“God you’re so drunk,” Yeri whined, trying to keep you upright.

“Should we call her a cab?” Hoseok asked, worried.

“No… if I can’t ride with her then I’m worried she might get hurt… Y/N, sweetie, give me your phone okay?” She asked.

You didn’t object, handing it over to her.

She scrolled through and found your emergency contacts.

“Kook with a red heart emoji?” She wondered aloud.

“Probably her boyfriend or something, try it. If they don’t answer we can figure something else out,” Hoseok said, attempting to get you to drink some water.

“Right, yeah,” Yeri hit the call button.

It rang a few times before a tired voice answered.

“Hello?” It asked.

“Hi… um… is this Kook?” Yeri asked.

“Who’s calling?” His voice sounded annoyed.

“I’m sorry, my name is Yeri. I’m a friend of Y/N’s? She’s super drunk at a bar and I’m worried about her getting home safe,” she said.

“Y/N…?” The voice sounded weak, like he was ready to cry.

“I-Is this a bad time? I can just call her a cab, but-”

“No! No, I’ll come and get her, where are you?” He asked.

“Nightshade club, on Latner Street? Know the one?”

“I do, I’ll be there in five minutes,” he said before hanging up.

Yeri helped you to a chair, trying to keep you from falling over.

“Poor Y/N, I shouldn't have let you drink this much,” she frowned.

“Sss’otayyy, Yerrrriiii!” You slurred.

“Someone’s coming to get you okay? He’ll be here soon, alright?”

You nodded your head, mind spinning.

Shortly, a nice black car rolled up to the club.

A very handsome young man approached Yeri, who was still struggling to keep you from the bar.

“Y/N! Don’t climb up there!” She cried.

“Who are you?” Hoseok asked, moving to grab the young man in case he got too close to the two ladies.

“I’m Jungkook, I’m here for her,” he nodded at you, trying to climb the bar.

“Y/N! Stop!” Yeri yelled.

“Dunnn wannnaaaaa~”

Jungkook frowned, he’d rarely seen you this drunk. You must be upset...

Even on your 21st birthday you'd kept it pretty classy.

“Bug, it’s time to get down, you need to go home before you get hurt,” Jungkook said, softly.

Your head turned to see him. Your eyes sparkled when you realized he was there.

“Kook!” You cried, clambering down from the bar and stumbling over to him. “You’re here…” you trailed off, hands smoothing over his chest. Jungkook tried to keep himself from crying into your arms as he turned you to your friends. Or at the very least, the people who’d kept you alive for the night.

“Yes, I’m here. Say goodbye to your friends and thank them,” he said, holding your shoulder to steady you.

“Bye Yeri! Bye Hoseok! Thanks!” You said.

Jungkook sighed and was glad you weren’t slapping him five ways to Sunday.

“Come on bug, time to go home,” he said.

You wrapped your arms around his neck. “Carry me?” You asked, lips pouting.

Jungkook’s heart stammered in his chest. Being away from you for so long had made him weak. He’d usually tease you for being so clingy when drunk, but right now he couldn’t say no. He picked you up easily, covering you with his arms.

Yeri moved and placed her hand on his shoulder. Jungkook turned back and looked at her with confusion.

Her eyes were stern. “I shared her location with me earlier, you better take care of her. If she’s not home in twenty minutes I’m calling the cops,” she warned.

Jungkook moved to say something when you peeped up from his arms, looking over his shoulder happily.

“Issokay Yeri! Kook won’t hurt me, he loves me,” you smiled, obviously inebriated. Your cheek was squished against his shoulder as your eyes blinked slowly in your friend’s direction. Jungkook’s chest tightened at your statement.

God... if you only knew how true that was...

Yeri gave Jungkook a skeptical look before nodding.

“She’s been sad lately, I don’t think I’ve seen her this excited since I met her,” she said good naturedly. “You seem to make her happy, but please keep her safe.”

Jungkook nodded. “I won’t let anything happen to her,” he promised.

Not even myself...

He carried you to the car, getting you buckled in and getting himself situated before taking off.

You were pretty quiet throughout the whole ride. He’d even thought you’d fallen asleep at one point.

But when he pulled up to your apartment you were still awake, blinking at him as he undid your seatbelt.

“I missed you, Kook,” you sighed, trying to stand up but only succeeding in falling into his arms.

Jungkook quickly grabbed you, holding you upright. Your eyes were bright in the street light next to your apartment. God... He’d missed you so much, he’d missed your big eyes and how expressive you were.

But he knew he shouldn’t enjoy this...

You probably wouldn’t even remember he’d been there when you woke up.

“I missed you too, Y/N,” he said softly, lifting you into the air and carrying you to your apartment. “Keys? Bug? Where are your keys,” he asked, brushing your hair away from your face.

“Purse...” you mumbled, already getting sleepy on him.

He fiddled with your purse for just a second before grabbing the key ring. His heart stopped when he saw you still had the one he’d purchased for you. Cute little cherry blossoms in resin. He knew how much you loved the flowers, he’d even planned to take you to Japan the following year so you could see them like in all those animes the two of you watched.

But he’d fucked that up.

He’d fucked it up so, so badly and now you’d never go see the cherry blossoms with him... He’d never get to sleep on your couch with you again after a marvel marathon. He couldn’t text you when Bam was being a brat... Ever since that night in his apartment Bam had been a menace to Jungkook. Nipping at him and even growling sometimes.

And his dog missed you too.

Bam wouldn’t play with the toy you’d given him anymore, he just held it in his mouth and laid by the door sometimes. It broke Jungkook’s heart to see his dog missing you too. Because Jungkook wasn’t doing much better.

He’d sit in his office and stare at the picture of you two after you graduated highschool. He’d been so proud of you. And you were just happy to start your life...

And now?

Here you were, getting black out drunk because he’d been a shitty friend. He’d broken your heart and he’d never be able to forgive himself for that.

“Find it?” you asked, voice soft and breathy.

Jungkook jolted before nodding, quickly getting the door unlocked and you inside. He set your feet on the floor as he tried to shut the door behind him. But you were already making things difficult. “Kook? Hey~” you said, poking his cheek. “Why won’t you look at me?” you asked, pouting.

You got so clingy when you were drunk.

Jungkook used to make fun of you and your tipsy antics but right now? He was so starved for your touch he would do damn near anything to keep you in his arms just a moment longer.

Because now he’d have to let you go again.

And it was going to fucking suck.

“Just getting the door closed, Bug. Give me just a second,” he said, holding you up as he managed to get the damn thing to latch. You still hadn’t fixed it, even though Jungkook told you several times he could call someone to get it done.

‘Nah!’

You’d say with a bright smile.

‘Gives me a project to do later.’

Damn, he was about to cry over a damn door.

This was pathetic.

But so fucking true.

Karma was a bitch and now she was making him suffer. He’d been a shit to you, and not only you. He’d been an asshole to his other friends after you’d left as well. They managed to get him on the right track, but he wasn’t the same.

He wasn’t sure he ever would be.

Karma.

“Hey... Kook?” you asked, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Yes bug?” he asked, attempting to get you to your bedroom so he could at least get your makeup and shoes off.

“Are you real? Is this a dream?” you asked.

He swallowed a sob.

Even in your drunken stupor, you remembered what he did. You remembered what happened and you knew that you weren’t friends anymore.

So what would be better?

A dream that you wouldn’t even remember when you woke up?

Or a reality that could upset you even more?

“It’s a dream, bug, go to sleep. You’ll wake up all nice and warm in your bed, nice coffee-”

You made a noise against his shoulder. Jungkook thought for a second you might throw up but that’s when he felt wetness seeping into his shirt.

You were crying.

“I knew it wouldn’t be true...” you hiccuped, resting your head on his shoulder. “I was hoping you were here... I was hoping you came to get me, that you didn’t delete my number and that you were still my friend.”

Jungkook’s eyes got watery too. Fuck... He wanted to tell you, he wanted to comfort you.

“I’m here now,” he said, lifting your head so he could wipe your eyes. Your mascara was everywhere and your lipstick was smeared from drinking and now crying into his shoulder. “Even if it’s a dream, I’m still here,” he said.

“But you won’t be when I wake up...”

Another sob swallowed.

“No... I won’t be, Bug,” he said, letting a few of his own tears fall. “But that’s okay, because Yeri will be. She’s a great friend to you, huh? She’s nice, tell me about her,” he tried.

“I never wanted anyone but you,” you cried.

He couldn’t do this... He absolutely could not do this. He couldn’t leave you again, he couldn’t just walk away when you were so sad. And he was too... He was weak.

Your hands on his cheeks startled him.

He was crying too. And he was crying hard.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I fucked up our friendship, I made you think you didn’t matter. I’m so so so sorry, I’ll never be able to forgive myself. Please, believe me when I say it wasn’t intentional, I never wanted to lose you. If-If I could take it back, I would. I would meet you at that cute boba shop, I’d bring flowers because you love them, not because I fucked up. I-I love you, and I miss you. Always will. But, I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve your friendship, I took you for granted and I lost you. That’s how it works.”

He cried as he pushed his forehead against yours, trying to will his apology into your inebriated mind. He knew it wouldn’t stick, he knew you wouldn’t remember. But here and now... He’d at least apologized, he’d at least given you something.

“I love you too, I miss you too,” you cried, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Please don’t leave, I don’t want to wake up and you not be there.”

“You’ve done it before, you’ll survive,” he promised.

“What if I don’t? What if I die because I wake up and you’re not there, huh?” you whimpered, hiding your face in his neck.

“Don’t say that bug,” he begged, rubbing your back. “Don’t say stuff like that, I’m not worth dying over.”

“You are to me...” you cried, clutching him tightly.

Jungkook’s head hurt from how much he was crying. But he pulled himself together. “Come on, you need to go to sleep. You’re tired and you’re not going to feel too good if you keep this up,” he sighed, lifting you into his arms again and carrying you to your room.

He sat you on the bed and managed to get your heels off. He set them nicely by your closet, even sticking some paper towel in them so they wouldn’t wrinkle. He noticed your dress and sighed. He’d bought it for you for your birthday and he just knew you’d look incredible in it. You always begged him not to get you designer stuff, even though he literally was the heir to a fashion mogul. So, he’d shopped on your favorite site and found one you’d look good in.

Even if it was on the pricery end of the website it didn’t even scratch the surface of the money he was prepared to dump on you for your birthday.

But you never wanted it.

You’d always asked for the same things.

A new book.

Some new pens.

New fuzzy socks.

More coffee pods.

A night in with him and some friends.

You didn’t want extravagant. You didn’t think people who did were snobby or high maintenance. You always said that just because a person liked nice things, didn’t mean they weren’t a nice person. If only he didn’t prove you wrong...

All you wanted was his time.

And he didn’t realize that until you didn’t want anything from him anymore.

“Jungkook...” you said, while he was taking off your makeup.

You didn’t sound as drunk anymore, but your glossy eyes told him you were on the verge of falling asleep.

“Yes bug, what’s up?” he said, trying to sound calm.

“Will you stay? Just until I’m asleep, will you stay with me until then?” you asked, eyes filling with tears all over again.

He didn’t have the heart to say no.

“Of course, bug. I’ll stay until you’re asleep.”

He managed to get your makeup off and you in bed, snuggled up nice and comfortable. He was sitting at the foot of your bed, ready to head home when your voice spoke up.

“I’m not asleep yet, you can’t leave...”

Jungkook turned to see you, eyes sparkling with tears as you fought sleep. He’d never seen you work so hard to not fall asleep before. You were always ready to pass out when you’d gotten done drinking. Honestly he was impressed you’d made it this far.

“Y/N, go to sleep. You need to rest, you’re tired,” he said, giving your hip a gentle pat.

“Then let me look at you,” you begged, reaching for him. “If it’s the last time I’m gonna see you then I want to remember you, I want to remember every inch of your face so I never forget. Please,” you cried. You were over tired at this point, Jungkook could tell from a mile away.

You were always so weepy and dramatic when you got too tired. But he knew the desperation you felt. He wanted the same, to look at you head to toe. Remember every inch of you, even if the memory would break his heart, at least he had it.

Jungkook let a few more tears fall down his cheeks. He wanted so badly to curl up with you in your bed, talk about your day, the newest anime you were watching. How you were handling school...

“You don’t want to remember me the way I am now, Y/N, I’m angry and sad and not nearly someone worthy of you remembering,” he said, wiping his eyes furiously.

“I think I should decide that,” you said, eyes drooping. You were almost out.

He took your hand in his, placing it on his face as he leaned forward enough so you wouldn’t have to stretch too far to touch him. You smoothed your fingers over his face, tracing the familiar features like you had when you were younger. You were the type of person who loved to run your fingers along all the sweaters in the store, the soft blankets in his apartment, your fuzzy socks as you pulled them up over your feet. And, his face. You’d always done it when he was upset. It gave him something to focus on. Your touch soothed him, made him relax and he felt so at ease when you were there.

There was no pretense, no expectations.

Just you and him.

Unfortunately, all too soon, your hand slowly fell from his cheek onto his shoulder. A soft snore echoing through the room.

Jungkook allowed himself to break then.

He cried, holding your hand against his cheek as he tried to calm down enough to at least drive home. But fuck...

Fuck it hurt so bad.

--

You woke up feeling like you’d gone to hell and back all in one evening.

And you didn’t remember a damn thing.

Well, you remember Yeri and Hoseok...

You remember wanting to dance on the bar, but... After that?

You winced as you sat up. A glass of water and medicine by your bed. You tilted your head and frowned for a second.

Yeri must’ve put it there for you.

You gave a soft smile before taking the medicine and getting up. Your head hurt and your face was super puffy like you’d been crying. Damn, you hoped you hadn’t made Yeri uncomfortable at all. You weren’t super close, but you’d like to be.

She was really kind and genuine so you were really hoping that your night of drunken stupor hadn’t frightened her off.

You’d been drunk around her before but not blackout.

Thankfully, Yeri called later so you could apologize.

“Yerrriii~” you whined, hiding your face in the couch. “I don’t want to hear about my drunken escapades. I’m embarrassed enough as it is!”

“Ah, sweetie,” she chuckled. “No need to be, I apologized to the bartender and he was cool about it. Hoseok wasn’t even phased, he said he had a friend who was wilder than you when drunk! Crazy huh?”

“Well at least you got to go home with a cute guy!” you smirked.

Yeri sounded confused as she spoke next. “You went home with someone too, your boyfriend right?”

“Huh?” you sat up. “What do you mean, Yeri? I thought you brought me home?”

“No, Hoseok and I couldn’t figure out how to get you home and then me home without getting one of those big Ubers that are stupid expensive and I didn’t want to leave you alone in a cab so we called and this super hot guy showed up! Calling you sweet little nicknames and you said he loves you so I just assumed-”

“What was his name? Yeri?” your voice was strained.

Did he come for you?

At two in the morning did he wake up and drive halfway across the town just for you?

“Um... someone named, uh-Kook? With a little red heart emoji?” she clarified.

Suddenly you felt sick, sicker than you had when you woke up.

Jungkook...

“Shit...” you said, eyes welling up with tears.

“Y/N? What’s wrong? Should I not have called him? Did he hurt you!? Are you okay? I’ll kill him what-”

“No, Yeri... He’s a good guy, I’ve known him for years. We had a-uh... Falling out a few months ago, so,” you coughed awkwardly, trying to stave off the agony piling up in your throat.

“Well... He seemed pretty worried about you. Seems to care about you a lot, to come all that way to pick you up and take you home,” she said, trying to make you feel better.

But it only made you feel worse.

“Thanks, Yeri... I’m gonna be late for class if I don’t get moving. Sorry, I’ll chat later?”

“Sure, Y/N, take it easy!”

--

You’d never been good at reading your own body.

If you were sick, you were always the last one to pick up on it. Jungkook was always the one who seemed to notice you wheezing, your sore throat and coughing.

But even you were starting to think that maybe you should go see a doctor...

It’d been two weeks since Jungkook had picked you up from the bar, and he hadn’t said anything. Hadn’t texted, hadn’t called or even checked in on you through his friends you still spoke to.

Yoongi was the one to mention you looking unwell.

“You look like shit.”

He could’ve said it nicer but he got his point across.

“I’m fine,” you said, voice scratchy and head throbbing.

“If you’re fine then I’m fucking Hercules,” he snorted. “After class go get some tea and sleep, okay?”

You nodded.

But you were a big, fat liar.

It was reaching damn near ten o’clock and the library at your school was closing.

You’d been trying to finish this project all night and you hadn’t gotten an ounce of work done. The words were all jumbled, your mind was mush and you were so tired you were fighting to stay awake.

As you were walking up the steps to your apartment you could feel something was wrong. You weren’t okay, you really needed to see a doctor...

Your head was spinning, your chest felt heavy and you could tell you had a fever with how hard your hands were shaking as you tried to get into your apartment.

You grabbed your phone, desperately trying to call Yoongi or Yeri to come and help you.

Neither answered.

It was late... They probably wouldn’t even see you called until the morning...

Could you call him?

He came before...

In your delirious and frightened stupor you hit call, your knees were shaking and you were panting into the phone.

“Hello?”

His voice...

Oh fuck, his voice...

“Jungkook,” you whimpered, head foggy as you tried to stay on your feet.

“Y/N...? Why are you calling me-”

Your mind was blacking out. The edges of your vision going dark as you tried to keep yourself upright.

“Kook... help me...”

And everything went dark.

--

Work was hell.

It was so late and he just wanted to fucking go home and drink.

Ever since he took you home a few weeks back he’d been having a hard time sleeping. All he could see was your crying face as you begged him to be there when you woke up.

And his calendar was just fucking crammed.

Jungkook was struggling to keep up with everything. He had wedding planning to do, dinners to arrange, meetings to attend and-

Ring ring... Ring ring...

Who the fuck was calling right now!?

Jungkook didn’t even look at the phone as he answered it.

“Hello?” he asked into the receiver.

Soft panting came through the phone. “Jungkook...”

That was your voice.

His heart was beating a million miles a minute. What were you calling him for?

Were you drunk again?

“Y/N...? Why are you calling me-”

He didn’t even get to finish his statement before his stomach dropped to the floor.

In your weak, shaking voice you called for him.

“Kook... help me...” you pleaded before he heard a loud thud and the phone fall.

“Y/N?” he asked.

No response.

“Y/N, hey!” he called. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

Still no response.

He didn’t know where you were, he didn’t know what was going on.

But he was going to find you.

Thank God you didn’t block his number. He kept your call open as he tried to use location tracking on his phone.

“Bug? Can you hear me? What’s going on, where are you?” he asked, trying to see if you’d talk.

His phone pinged with the location.

Your apartment.

You were at home.

Without any second thoughts he burst out of his office and took off down the hall, grabbing his keys and wallet and bolting down the stairs to his car. He wasn’t waiting for a fucking elevator.

He stayed on the line the whole way to the parking structure, trying to talk to you. Trying to see what was going on. When he finally got to his car the call dropped.

He panicked and kept trying to call you back, but your phone must’ve died.

“Shit, shit!” he said, jumping into the front seat and driving erratically down the road.

He was shocked no one pulled him over with how recklessly he was driving. You’d scold him for it later, but right now he needed to know you were okay. Even if you slapped the shit out of him, beat him and told him to never come near you again.

He needed to know you’d be okay...

When he pulled up to your apartment building he flew up the steps and to your door. It wasn’t latched, so he pushed it open and found you laying on the floor.

“Y/N!” he cried, falling to his knees next to you. “Hey, hey are you okay? Y/N, sweetheart hey!” he called, trying to get you to wake up.

You were burning up and he came to the conclusion you were sick.

And you’d put it off like you always do.

Carefully he tried to sit you up when he noticed the blood on the floor. His heart stopped as he checked you over but found it had come from your nose. You must be really sick if you were like this. Usually you’d see a doctor if it got this bad but, apparently you didn’t catch it quick enough this time.

With strength he didn’t know he had, he hauled you into his arms and carried you to the car.

He just hoped you’d be okay.

What if I die because I wake up and you’re not there?

--

Everything ached.

Slowly, you opened your eyes and saw you were in a hospital bed.

There was an older woman checking a clipboard at the end of your bed who met your eyes and smiled gently. “Hello sweetheart,” she said.

“H-Hi...?” you asked, trying to sit up.

“Ah ah,” she stopped you, coming close to help you settle back in. “Try not to move a lot just yet. You’ve been out for a whole day,” she said.

You looked outside and noticed it was dark... But not from the night you passed out, it was the next night.

“Oh...” you said, biting your lip sheepishly.

“That boyfriend of yours is going to have a fit you woke up and he’s not here,” she chuckled.

“Boyfriend?” you asked.

“Oh, I don’t mean to assume. The one who brought you here. He carried you in here all panicked. We thought you were going into labor with how he was acting,” she chuckled, but it was good natured. “He was so worried about you, calling you bug and sweetheart, holding your hand when the doctors came in to check on you. We just assumed you two were together because... how in love he is with you,” she said softly.

Jungkook...?

In love with you...?

“Where is he?” you asked as she lifted a cup of water to your lips for you to drink.

“Ah, unfortunately his dad came and sent him home. He’d been at work all day when you’d called and then he stayed until just about an hour ago,” she said.

He was with you for almost twenty-four hours?

“He... he didn’t leave at all?” you asked.

“No, he got snippy with the nurses a few times though. But we knew he didn’t mean anything by it, he’s worried about you,” she said.

“I-Is his dad still here?” you asked.

“Yes, he is. Do you want me to get him?” she offered.

“Yes... Yes I’d like to speak with him please,” you said.

She nodded and disappeared out of the room and down the hall.

He came for you...

You called and he came for you.

He carried you into the hospital and was worried, he snipped at some nurses because he was worried...

We just assumed you two were together because... how in love he is with you...

Jungkook, loves you?

“Y/N?” Mr. Jeon’s voice echoed loud in your ears as you turned to look at the door.

He looked good for not having seen him in almost five months. You gave him a kind smile before he came over and squeezed your hand gently.

“You scared us,” he said, holding your hand carefully. “Jungkook called me in hysterics, saying you were dying in the hospital and I had to come see you and then he wasn’t making any sense-anyways,” he said, another squeeze to your hand.

If he wasn’t making any sense how did he drive home?

Was he okay?

Did he eat anything? Drink anything-

“Don’t worry, Y/N, I called Naomi and she came and got him. I told her to make sure he drank water and had something to eat before he went to bed, okay?” he said, reassuring you.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, feeling tears fall down your cheeks.

Mr. Jeon shook his head, wrapping you up in his arms gently. “You have nothing to apologize for. Least of all to me, Jungkook’s the one who was about ready to have an aneurysm because of a fever.”

You sighed. “He’s always been melodramatic, why stop now?” you joked.

Mr. Jeon chuckled softly, giving a nod before stepping back. “He’s going to be devastated you woke up and he wasn’t here... He kept babbling about how you’d die if you woke up and he was gone.”

What if I die because I wake up and you’re not there?

Wait...

You’d said that.

It’s fuzzy, and makes your mouth taste sour but. You remember saying that to Jungkook.

Suddenly, you were thrown back into that night.

Asking him if he was a dream.

Asking him if he would stay.

“When will he be back?” You asked, your voice wobbling.

Mr. Jeon gave you a gentle pat on the shoulder. “Probably in a few hours, get some rest. I’ll stay until he comes back, okay?”

—

You could hear his voice in the sea of sleep, his warmth enveloping you and holding you close.

“Did she wake up at all?” You could hear Jungkook’s exhaustion, he likely wasn’t gone long enough to get a full night's rest.

“She did, but it wasn’t for long,” a nurse said.

“D-Did she ask for anything? Anyone?” He said, looking at you.

He was still bone tired, but he only let himself sleep for a few hours. What if you needed him? What if the hospital called and you-

“Kook…?” Your voice was scratchy you noticed, making you clear your throat before opening your eyes.

Jungkook stood frozen in the room. As if waiting for you to send him away, waiting for you to yell at him. But all you could do was reach, begging him to come closer.

He didn’t make you wait, moving forward quickly as he wrapped his arms around you. “Fuck, Y/N,” he said, voice strained with worry. “Never fucking do that again, I thought you’d died,” he croaked, kissing your head briefly, he winced when he pulled away because he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to do that... He just did it without thinking, oh God what if-

“I-I’m sorry,” you whispered, burying your face in his shoulder.

“Don’t apologize,” he said, moving back to look at your face. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry I was a bad friend and got you into this mess,” he frowned.

“It’s not your fault I don’t know when I’m sick,” you said with a soft smile.

“Y/N…”

You shook your head, bringing him back in for another hug. Jungkook sighed, resting against you lightly, allowing himself to feel at ease for the first time in months.

Mr. Jeon walked in, knocking on the door before Yeri and Yoongi both walked in behind him.

“Y/N!!” Yeri cried, rushing forward. Jungkook stepped aside for a moment so she could squeeze you. “Jesus I saw your missed calls and when an older man answered your phone I got so worried,” she said. “But it turns out Mr. Jeon is pretty alright,” she said with a kind smile.

“Alright, move over Yeri,” Yoongi chuckled, giving you a gentle hug as well.

The two started chatting with you, asking about things that Jungkook didn’t know about.

Your new semester has started and he wasn’t privy to your schedule anymore. So he stood back, letting your friends speak and make you feel better. Even though he was desperate to do it himself.

Mr. Jeon watched as his son left the room, walking down the hall with his head hung low. He sighed, sending a quick glance your way. You were speaking to your friends but your eyes were still trying to find Jungkook after he’d left the room. Mr. Jeon gave you a nod before following him.

“Jungkook, son,” he called, jogging down the hallway to grab him.

“Her friends are here, she doesn’t need me anymore… Did we pay for the expenses? If not let me do it,” Jungkook said, grabbing his wallet out when his dad stopped him.

“Son, why are you running away from her?” He asked softly.

Jungkook tensed up, biting his lip as he struggled to keep his composure. “Because… her friends are there, the ones who always chose her. The ones who didn’t forget her, the ones who prioritized her… the ones who deserve her,” he whispered.

“Jungkook…” his father said, his tone gentle. “People make mistakes, people learn and they grow. You may not have been deserving of her friendship a few months ago… but now you might be able to ask her if maybe-maybe she’d like to try again,” he offered.

“What if she says no?” He whimpered. “I can’t keep letting her go, it hurts too much,” he said.

His dad brought him in for a tight hug, patting his back a few times to ease his cries. “Then you’ll respect her decision, but something tells me this time apart was just as hard on her as it was for you,” he stated.

Jungkook nodded, sniffling and wiping his eyes before he looked back towards your room. You were laughing with Yeri, Yoongi scowling but not in an angry way.

Yours and Jungkook’s dynamic had always been complex but it had never been hard.

He waited patiently in the hall until Yoongi and Yeri left. Not without looking at Jungkook. Yeri stopped and waved at him, Yoongi gave him a nod before leading her back down the hall.

Jungkook stood and walked back to your room. He waited by the door, standing there as he looked at you. “Hi…” he said, looking down at his feet for a moment.

You looked at him. He was clearly tired, his shoulders slumped forward.

“Hi,” you said softly. “You can come in Jungkook.”

He stood still, taking a few deep breaths before walking in and standing next to your bed.

He’d been crying…

“The doctor said that once your fever comes down they’ll send you home,” he said, voice quiet.

“Yeah? That’s good then, right? Yeri said she’d get notes for me for some of our classes at least,” you stated.

Jungkook nodded and the room went quiet. It was awkward how the silence hung between you two when it was usually nonexistent.

But Jungkook didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do to make things okay again. Where did he start?

“Kook…?” You asked, looking at his spaced out expression. His eyes snapped to yours as he seemed to be spiraling. “Hey, do you need a hug?” You asked, already reaching for him.

You didn’t even realize you were doing it. Your body knew his ques and tells so well at this point. He was fiddling with his sleeves, and he couldn’t hold your gaze too long.

He was nervous, almost scared.

But he was also weak. Weak for you and your affection. So he moved to accept your embrace, hugging you tightly. His head slotted where it always did, right in your neck. He sighed shakily, like this was almost painful for him.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay, Jungkook?” You asked, voice tender. You were talking like you always did.

The memory of your red eyes and raw throat once you yelled at him in his apartment haunted him. So to hear your normal voice, not one filled with tears or booze or anger… just you…

Jungkook choked on a sob, winding his arms around you tighter, leaning into your touch like he was used to. Finally allowing himself to feel your embrace.

Even if it would be the last time you’d let him.

“Jungkook…? Please talk to me, what’s wrong?” You asked, running your fingers over his brows, gently sweeping your thumb along his jawline.

Tracing his features like you always do.

“I fucking miss you,” he cried into your skin, holding you closer still.

He didn’t add any kind of grand gesture to his words, he didn’t try to coat them in flowers or barbs or whatever. It was just the plain and simple truth.

The painful truth.

He misses you, he misses showing up on your doorstep with your favorite takeout. He misses texting you cute pictures of Bam and receiving your classic, ‘he’s a mama’s boy!’ text. He misses the simplicity of your relationship, how easy it was to be just Jungkook and Y/N. You’d never asked him to be more or less.

You only ever asked him to be himself, to be genuine and authentic with you.

Your throat clenched at his broken voice, the way his body shook as he tried to pull you as close as the bed and equipment would allow.

You felt the warmth of his tears on your neck, making you tear up as well. You’d imagined it wouldn’t be easy for him. But Jungkook was always the more sensitive one, contrary to popular belief. He was very tender hearted and soft, he just wanted love.

And you were his person for years and years. His comfort, his rock, his support, his home.

And to suddenly be ripped away from you, especially when he knew it was his fault. It hurt all the worse. He’d beaten himself up over the last months, he’d been mean and judgmental towards himself and his work even.

His father had been so worried he’d almost called you a few times. Because he didn’t listen to anyone the way he listened to you.

“I miss you too.”

Your words hung in the air, causing Jungkook to freeze. He pulled back from you, eyes red and full of tears. “Y-You miss me? Even if I-”

“Kook,” you stopped him, wiping his tears away with your thumbs. “I called you, twice. I called you two times after not speaking to you for months and you came. Both times. You were there when I needed you, you made it up to me. This is me forgiving you,” you said, giving him your classic smile.

His heart ached.

He doesn't deserve it!

He doesn’t deserve your forgiveness… your friendship. Certainly not your love, no matter how badly he wants them.

He doesn’t deserve you.

“I-I can’t…” he whimpered, head dropping forward in shame.

“You can, kookie, you can,” you promised. “And I’ll be here to help you.”

—

It was your discharge day only a couple days later. You’d responded well to the fluids and medicine and were ready to go home!

“Bug! You almost ready?” Jungkook called, standing outside the bathroom. Yeri had run to your apartment to get you some clothes to get comfy in.

Jungkook had pitched a fit about you being alone while taking all this medicine. Even though it was only for a few more days.

So you were staying with him for the weekend.

Jungkook and you were good. Better than ever really. You both apologized, him a little more than he needed to but you understood. He was worried, he didn’t want to overstep or make you upset.

But, there was something he was hiding.

You could tell something was up.

He had that look on his face. The look of ‘this is my innocuous face nothing suspicious here promise’ written all over his features. But you couldn’t possibly figure out what was going on.

“So, the fiancé isn’t going to be mad that I’m staying with you?” You asked, already wanting to shove your foot in your mouth for asking such a stupid question.

You’d managed to ignore the incoming fiancé bomb for the most part but the thoughts were eating you alive so you just… damn.

“Ah… yeah, we’re not together anymore,” he sighed.

“B-But! You got engaged like two weeks ago?!”

Jungkook chuckled, shaking his head. “Ah, she had to pull out. Her girlfriend wanted to try again and she didn’t want to give up on her just yet,” he offered. “We’re still making a deal just not as intricate as before,” he said.

You swallowed thickly at this information.

Why did this information of his relationship status throw you for such a loop. You were ready to be disappointed.

But here you were.

Single.

And here Jungkook was.

Single.

For some reason it felt different than before. There was a period of time when Jungkook had girlfriends, one night stands and other exploratory things going on in his sex life-and that was fine. Normal and such.

But you’d been a late bloomer, only getting your first boyfriend at around twenty. He’d taken your virginity and then you’d both drifted apart as people do.

After that you’d not done much in regards to relationships outside your platonic ones.

Of course being hung up on your best friend did that.

So… what do you do now?

“Bug? Come on honey, let’s get you out of here. Bammie is going to be so excited to see his mommy!” He said with his adorable scrunched face.

“Yeah? Maybe we can stop so I can pick him out a new toy, huh?” You suggested, opening the door to the bathroom and handing him the gown to put in the bin across the room.

He did so without question, coming back to hand you your coat. “Can you walk or do you want to ride in a wheelchair?” He asked, brushing some of your hair out of your face.

Your heart stammered at his proximity.

Shit…

Being away from him for months had worn down those defenses you'd built so carefully growing up.

Jungkook was handsome. Physically painful to witness at times, chest twinges weren’t uncommon.

Lower twinges as well…

The thought made your cheeks burn and eyes turn slightly shifty as Jungkook watched your thoughts and feelings flit across your features like they always do.

“You're thinking about something, what’s wrong? Are you alright?” He asked.

You nodded quickly, giving him an easy smile. “Yes Kook, I’m good. But I want you to push me in the wheelchair, just don’t run me into the wall like you did after I got my wisdom teeth out,” you laughed.

He gave an indignant pout, eyes looking challenged. “Hey! You weren’t sitting still! You almost fell onto the floor,” he complained.

“I was high off of anesthesia! What did you think was gonna happen?” You laughed heartily.

Jungkook’s eyes got glossy again.

You’d noticed he’d look at you for a minute sometimes, almost getting lost in thought. When you’d treat him like you always did, his features relaxed. Almost in… relief?

It was the tone of your voice. The pitch of your laughter.

Jungkook couldn’t help it. Everything you did endeared him more and more.

He’d always known you were lovely. Soft, sweet and beautiful.

You were loving and gentle, and Jungkook appreciated you so very much. Most people knew him as the golden boy. His fathers pride and joy and a charmer that made his mother blush in joy. But you knew him as Jungkook, always as himself. His truest self.

There was no pretense.

Things between the two of you were easy, natural. Jungkook didn’t have to think around you, because even if he didn’t make sense you understood him enough to not be scared away by his awkwardness at times, or his obsession with things that weren’t the norm for guys his age.

(The banana milk, the marvel figurines and many more occupy your mind with a sweet hint of nostalgia for the man in front of you, unbeknownst to that very person).

“I promise I’ll drive carefully, if you promise to ride carefully, huh?” He offered.

You snorted before giving a nod as he brought the chair to you.

Jungkook held the handles as you gently lowered down into the chair. He’d done this for you several times over again in your life. Whether it was for your wisdom teeth or to remove that piece of glass from your foot.

He’d always been right behind you. Loving you and supporting you with his gentle warmth that could turn into a fire if left unattended by your watchful rationality.

Jungkook was your best friend.

He’d always been since the day you met.

“Alright, hold on tight!”

You smiled softly as he guided you out of the hospital, down the halls and onto the elevators.

He had all the nurses swooning with the way he was looking at you. They all watched with the same fond expression.

However you both remained oblivious to them, far too wrapped up in your teasing conversation.

Your normal.

Finally, you made it out front with Naomi giving you a tight squeeze.

“Ahh! You look skinny! You need to eat more, I’ll have to make you some kimchi jjigae huh?” She teased, giving your cheeks a good natured smoosh.

“Stob it!” You whined, cheeks squished making your words come out funny enough to make Jungkook’s heart throb.

“Sorry, sorry Princess,” she soothed, smoothing her hands over your hair and giving you another small hug before getting the door for Jungkook and yourself.

Jungkook helped you up as Naomi went to put the chair back.

You both got in the car and Naomi shut the partition.

You sighed in relief as you pulled away from the hospital. The buildings gave you horrible anxiety, and Jungkook knew this as his hand rubbed your thigh comfortingly.

“You okay, Y/N?” He asked.

“Just the usual, kook. Hospitals still freak me out, they probably always will in a way,” you sighed.

“I get it,” he promised, kissing your head and giving your shoulder a squeeze before his phone rang.

“Shit, it’s mom, hold on,” he said, answering it shortly after.

You nodded, looking out the window and watched the city pass by. You still felt Jungkook’s hand in yours though, warm and soft.

As always.

—

Jungkook was still sour as he sat on the couch as you cooed and guffawed at his dog. Who had, rather rudely in fact, blew right past him to land square at your feet with the sweetest eyes he’d had in months

“Tsk, damned traitor,” he growled, trying to fight the jealousy that his dog was right where he wanted to be.

Your lap.

Bam and him had been at war for the prized spot of your soft and supple thighs that were utterly perfect pillows.

Jungkook can’t remember how many times he’d fallen asleep on your legs, it’s been far far too many to count.

Although, his dog currently blocking him from increasing those stats was making him ridiculously jealous.

You could see it too, because you smirked when Bam started snoring. Jungkook hardly ever had the heart to wake the pup once he was out like this.

However, you weren’t sure it was applicable tonight.

“Bug…”

“Yes?” You asked, scratching Bams tummy softly. You’d just taken your medicine a while ago and you were getting a little sleepy.

“I think Bam has to go potty.”

“Jungkook, he's sleeping.”

He huffed, annoyed at your lack of attention. “H-He’ll need to go when he gets up, he’s had trouble with not peeing before I get up.”

“Alright, wake him up then,” you said, giving him a pointed look.

“I can’t Y/N-”

You rolled your eyes and patted Bam on the rear. He snorted and woke himself up with a jolt. A soft peel of laughter came from you at his goofy expression.

“Come on Bammie, we need to go potty then we need to go to bed,” Jungkook called softly, standing and walking towards the door.

“Gonna take him outside?” You asked, knowing he had space on his balcony that he could use but Bam often liked going for a little wander before his end of evening potty.

“Yeah, head to bed, I’ll be there soon,” he said.

Your heart thudded dangerously.

Fuck…

This whole day, this entire time since he’d picked you up at the bar your heart has been yearning for him.

This isn’t the soft crush you’d parted with…

It was turning into genuine love, and it certainly didn’t feel platonic.

Head to bed, I’ll be there soon…

“Is the guest room not ready?” You asked, voice light but there was a slight waver in your tone.

Jungkook turned with a confused expression. “No? I didn’t think we’d need it, my beds big enough yeah?”

Thump…

Thump…

“Okay, do you still-”

“Pink toothbrush, your toothpaste is still in the drawer with mine,” he said, pulling on his shoes.

You felt emotion clog your throat, making you nod as he walked out with Bam in tow. A few stray tears fell down your cheeks before you wiped them away.

He still has my toothpaste, he got me a new toothbrush…

All of these things were mundane, even expected in a sense. But, your chest fluttered all the same.

You hurried to his room, smiling at the fact he’d even gotten a few of your skincare products out. Your heart squeezed when you realized they were new, he’d remembered all of them.

Brushing your teeth and climbing into bed felt like a dream. The sheets were soft and smelt nice, like they always did.

And you fell asleep, only barely waking to a soft voice telling you to go back to bed.

“Sleep bug, I’m right here.”

—

Heat.

Sweltering heat.

That is how sleeping with Jungkook normally went. He was a fucking furnace, even if all he slept in was a pair of boxers!

But you woke to push some of the blankets off, shifting with some difficulty as Jungkook’s arms were like iron fucking bars around your waist.

His hands settled on your lower stomach. You swallowed hard as you tried to not think about it too much.

After winding down and managing to breathe without feeling like you're burning alive.

That’s when you felt it.

You shifted your hips slightly just to confirm your suspicions and to your utter disbelief you were correct.

Your best friend.

Your sweet Jungkook had a boner, a quite impressive one, and it was pressed firmly against your ass.

Death was imminent.

Your mind was running three thousand miles a minute. What do you do?!

You and Jungkook have slept together in the same bed multiple times, but usually Jungkook doesn’t cuddle much. And if he does you manage to wiggle out before this situation happens.

Also, you tended to sleep like the dead. Just another thing you and Jungkook shared. Although you were fairly certain that he was the heavier sleeper of the pair of you.

His hands tightened around your stomach as he pressed further into your body. His head fell into the crook of your shoulder and neck. He sighed softly, his breaths panting against your skin and causing goosebumps to run along your flesh.

“Y/N...” he drawled, clearly still asleep. His voice was deep and raspy, making your thighs clench unintentionally which caused your hips to rut backwards just a touch. But Jungkook made a soft pant in your ear that had wetness collecting in your panties to your shock.

Not that you hadn’t left this room in search of some extra underwear before...

Jungkook shifted towards you with a grunt, nestling into your neck and shoulder to the point he was damn near wrapped around you.

And that certainly didn’t help the morning wood that had found an apparently pleasing spot right on your ass cheeks. You didn’t want to embarrass him by waking him up...

But this was going to melt your brain if you continued any longer. “Kook,” you mumbled, tugging on his wrists. “Wake up.”

“Mmm,” he sighed, staying firmly in place.

“Jungkook, get up,” you said, pushing back with your hips.

A soft moan escaped him as you wriggled around. You felt him roll his hips forward in response, causing your breath to catch in your throat. Causing a stupid and loud spluttering cough to fall from your lips.

Jungkook startled awake at your jolting and loud hacking.

“Bug? Whas’ wrong?” he slurred, trying to sit up so you could breathe.

“Jungkook-bathroom,” you pointed.

He tilted his head in confusion, before he looked down and his face turned beet red.

“O-oh! Y/N, I-I’m sorry I-I didn’t mean to-uh... It’s kinda just a thing, but I can understand it’s uncomfortable-”

“Jungkook.”

“Yes.”

“It’s okay, I know how penises work. Just go cool off in the shower so I can get my blood pressure back to a normal level please?” you asked, keeping your head down.

Jungkook shuffled off the bed awkwardly and tried to hide himself best he could. You tried to steady your breathing as you felt your heart hammering far too quickly inside your chest.

Holy shit...

What is one supposed to do when you’re so turned on by your best friend you aren’t sure how to breathe?

You heard the shower turn on and you were snapped out of your horny stupor.

Jesus...

You weren’t normally so... feral about all of this. Had being away from him really done this to you? Your heart ached to be close, to hold him tightly and keep him with you... But, you just got back to being friends-

But, how long until you couldn’t bury the frustration and anger anymore? How long would you have to bottle up the scarily not platonic feelings swirling in your chest.

Why was your heart still racing so fast?

Your chest hurts.

Oh fuck-

That night burns hot in your mind. Him forgetting, you leaving.

It had been so hard to walk away. You were devestated for days. Yoongi had to come and force feed you. He’d threatened to call Jungkook if you didn’t delete his number. But you couldn’t…

The little picture you used as his icon made the deep agony in your heart ease for just a moment.

But the anger-

You slapped him.

Oh God, why do you want to burst into tears? What is this ache right in the base of your throat...? You want to cry, but you want to apologize more.

With a gentle cry you jumped out of the bed and scrambled like some stupid love-drunk idiot.

Jungkook may have been wrong first.

But you were wrong too.

You’d hurt him too.

By not staying, by not fighting for your friendship. By not at least giving him a chance to explain himself. To apologize. To try.

And... And for not being honest with not only him... But yourself.

Fuck... you’re so sorry-

“Kook!” you cried, falling through the bathroom door. Jungkook jumped as he stood there in his pajama pants and nothing else.

“Bug?! What’s wrong? Y/N, jesus fuck what-”

“Jungkook I’m so sorry I love you!”

Your throat ached with how much you were crying.

The dam of him being gone-had burst. The pain you’d felt being away from him.

You thought you could ignore the guilt that was eating you alive. You could just move on, you’d both learned and wanted to do better. So why dwell on that deep piercing ache in your stomach?

Because hurting the people you love hurts you just as much.

Because not acknowledging your wrongs and burying the guilt only makes it fester.

“I missed you so much! I love you so much and I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t try!” you wailed, holding onto him tightly as the rest of you trembled.

“Y/N, baby, shh, honey breathe,” Jungkook tried to soothe you. Your hands were ice cold on his upper back and shoulders and he was worried you’d worked yourself up into an anxiety attack. He pet the back of your head, gently kissing your temple as he rocked the two of you as you’d collapsed onto the floor.

“Koo, m’so sorry!” you mumbled against his shoulder.

You were shaking like a leaf, you could barely hold onto him.

“Y/N, princess,” he called softly. “Please look at me, baby, look at me, hey,” he said, moving you back by your head gently. He smoothed his thumbs over your puffy, tear stained cheeks and he tilted his head and gave you a soft smile. “What’s wrong huh?”

Your eyes welled up again and Jungkook shushed you, pressing his forehead on yours. Shrinking your world down to just you and him. His warmth and strong hands cradling your neck. “Easy. Y/N, I don’t know what’s got you so worked up but you need to calm down just a bit. You’re shaking honey.”

“I-I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you sniffled pathetically, holding his wrists tightly.

“You keep saying that, what do you have to be sorry for Bug? You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, voice soft and slow.

“I left you,” you cried. “I was so worried about my own feelings and how much I didn’t like that you had a fiance that-” you hiccuped and squeezed his shoulders, trying to ground yourself. “That was everything I’m not and... and when you supposedly forgot me because of her I lost it and I fucked up... I shouldn’t have blamed you for me not being honest.”

Jungkook blinked slowly, swallowing hard as he tried to understand what you were saying to him.

“Y/N...” he said softly, brushing your hair from your face. “What are you trying to tell me, huh?”

Your stomach almost fell into the floor and your heart clenched painfully at the idea of fessing up. But you’d basically said it at this point. You say it all the time...

I love you.

So simple in theory right?

But in many cultures, tone and phrasing are everything.

But, why is it so hard to make that simple flip?

“Jungkook...”

His eyes shone in the glittering light of the morning flooding in through the bathroom.

“Jungkook I...”

His hand tightened around your waist.

“I love y-”

You didn’t even get to finish your words before his lips were covering yours. His hands holding your face as he kissed you desperately. Like he’d been craving to do it for years.

“Me too,” he gasped, moving back to kiss you again.

“Koo-mh!” you were promptly cut off.

“Shut up for a second and let me kiss you-before I either get slapped again or I take you on this bathroom floor,” he growled as he pulled you in again.

You helplessly wrapped your arms around his neck, relaxing in his hold as best you could with your heart still struggling to catch up. You still had tears on your cheeks and your knees were wobbling and sore from the tile floor.

But you’d pass out before you let him go first.

Jungkook finally managed to pull away from you for a moment. “I didn’t get slapped,” he breathed against your lips harshly.

“No... You didn’t,” you said, resting against him.

“So... what does that mean Y/N? I don’t want to make this awkward or weird but... but I can’t kiss you like that and not want more...”

With hot cheeks you tugged him back to your lips. “Me either,” you whispered, cradling his neck.

“Y/N, I really do love you... I want you to be mine,” he said, holding you by the waist.

Your eyes got big as you looked into his. They were warm, like always. He wasn’t hiding anything, he was being vulnerable. He was being himself.

Because you made it so easy for him to do.

“As long as you’re mine too,” you sighed, resting against him in exhaustion. Your body was dropping from the adrenaline rush you’d had from your near panic attack and impromptu emotional breakthrough.

“Sleepy Bug,” he chuckled. “C’mon, let’s get you back to bed and when you get up later we can talk more. But, you’re mine, Bug... And I’m yours.”

Hearing those words you fell into slumber against his warm chest, only briefly feeling the bed underneath you once more before sleep swallowed you whole.

--

Dating Jungkook was surprisingly the easiest thing you’ve ever done.

He was kind, he was loving and he was honest. It’s been a great few months. His parents both were thrilled to hear the news and fully supported the both of you.

Life was good.

You’d never felt like this before, this amount of joy and happiness suffused through your being. You were happy being best friends, but this just felt like a natural progression. Being together was always easy, almost innate in a way.

And tonight, you wanted to be together in a different way...

You and Jungkook had kept it fairly PG-13 for the most part. You both wanted to get comfortable with the new part of your relationship first before you added any intimacy. There was no rush, you had time to come together like that.

You had Yeri over one night, and chaos was inevitable.

The two of you loved to drink wine and fool around and just make merry (ruckus).

Hoseok had even joined a few times, as Yeri’s potential boyfriend. They hadn’t made anything official yet, but they’d been out several times since your night at the bar.

Currently, Yeri was cooing over pictures of Bam in your phone.

“God that damn dog is so cute,” she sighed in disdain, bigger dogs sometimes frightened her but you had been coaxing her out of that mindset with adorable pictures of Bam.

“The next one is him in those pajamas. Jungkook wanted to burn them the second I laid eyes on them,” you snorted.

“Oh my God that’s-oh... That’s not a cute dog, however it is a very nice set of lingerie Y/N~” Yeri giggled, showing you the picture she’d stumbled upon.

You in the set you’d purchased after one of these very wine drunk evenings with Yeri.

It wasn’t anything crazy. Just a navy colored babydoll with matching panties. You’d taken a few pictures of yourself in the full length mirror in your room and had admired your body in the alluring fabric.

“Ah-sorry,” you flushed, taking your phone to find the actual picture you’d been talking about.

“No apology needed, I love that color on you! Such a nice set too! What did Jungkook think, hm?” she teased.

That’s when you felt your face heat up exponentially.

“You look constipated, what’s wrong? Are you gonna puke?” she stressed, moving to grab the garbage when you shook your head.

“No no, I’m good. It’s just... We haven’t had sex yet,” you said softly. “We wanted to figure out our dynamic first before we started becoming intimate. I have barely had sex, I’m practically a virgin, and he wants it to be meaningful.”

“It’ll be meaningful because it’s you two,” Yeri said with kind eyes. “I understand wanting to make it feel important, but... You don’t need crazy expensive or lavish things to have good intimacy, although it can be fun to incorporate,” she teased.

Your heart clenched at those words and you nodded with a small smile.

“You’re right Yeri,” you said. “I think it’s something I want to talk about more in our relationship, especially lately. I think we could take that step now. Of course I don’t want to rush him or anything-”

“Y/N,” Yeri sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “That man loves you so much I’m surprised you’ve managed to keep him away from you as long as you have. I bet you, you send him a single picture of you in lingerie and you will be trapped in either this room or that fancy penthouse for three business days.”

A choked noise of shock came from you as you scrambled to respond.

“H-He’s not an animal Yeri! He-”

“Because he hasn’t been given the green light to let out the inner beast,” she said with a mischievous grin.

“That’s never a good look to see on your face,” you sighed, now it was your turn to pinch the bridge of your nose in annoyance.

“I bet you two drinks at the bar next time we go, that if you send a racy picture your man will be calling within fifteen minutes to confirm your dick appointment,” she said.

“Yeri!”

“Hell, if you send them I will definitely buy the first two rounds of drinks next time,” she said. “Cause you’re too chicken to send them.”

You blanched at her, unimpressed with her childish tactics to wind you up.

Your wine addled brain was sobering, your last glass having been over an hour ago.

It was almost midnight, and Hoseok would no doubt be by soon to grab Yeri bringing your social plans for the evening to a close.

Why not?

Why not send a sexy picture to your even sexier boyfriend?

“Fine! I’ll grab my favorite set and send him a picture,” you promise.

“Fifteen minutes, set a timer.”

--

Hoseok arrived roughly half an hour later and you gave Yeri a tight squeeze before she leaned against the taller man as he guided her safely to his car. With a kind smile and wave they drove off.

You felt your phone buzz in your pajama shorts pocket and you looked and smiled to see a picture of Bam curled up on the couch with your favorite blanket snoozing happily.

Kook ❤️: he misses his mommy 🥺🥺

Y/N: how can he miss me if he’s asleep??

Kook ❤️: happens to me all the time. Miss you in my sleep. Miss you when I wake up alone, miss you when I see my dog sleeping in your blanket.

Y/N: *our

Kook ❤️: can I send a driver for you? Come stay with me tonight.

You chuckled and then sent a quick glance to your underwear drawer.

Y/N: I’m already in my pajamas

Kook ❤️: perfect, you’ll be ready for immediate cuddles when you get here

Y/N: these are new pajamas

You got up and grabbed the only other set of lingerie you had. A soft black cotton robe with a nice set of bra and panties that were a rich wine color. It seemed oddly fitting.

Without much thought you pulled them on and looked at your frame in the mirror before you heard your phone buzzing again.

Kook ❤️: new? Is that a reason to not come over??

Kook ❤️: if you’re worried bam will ruin them I’ll put him in his kennel before you get here?

Kook ❤️: baby?? Pleaseeeee

Y/N: sorry, I had to pee

Kook ❤️: please come over 🥺🥺🥺

Y/N: do you want to see?

Why was your boyfriend such a simp?

He was making seducing him so difficult.

You adored the man more than you could put into words but goodness he was persistent when he wanted something.

Kook ❤️: see what??

You tugged the robe open just a touch and revealed the deep burgundy bra that had your cleavage revealed just enough to be tantalizing.

Without giving yourself enough time to panic you snapped the picture of you on your knees in front of the mirror.

Using your last ounce of wine courage you hit send.

Timer Set: 15:00 minutes

Y/N: jpeg.9102

Seen

Oh Jesus.

What if he doesn’t like it?

You were about to scramble to cover your ass when your phone started ringing. You were so nervous you damn near launched the thing across the room in shock when you managed to answer it, you heard panting like someone was running.

“Hello?”

“Where are you?”

Jungkook’s rough voice filled your ears.

“I’m at home you weirdo, why are you-”

“You need to tell me right now if this means what I think it does because if not I don’t want to seem like an idiot... I legit ran down to my car, because if you want me there I’m coming right now. And I’m not going to let you sleep,” he growled.

Your thighs clenched at the aggressive sound from him. “I-I sent it because I wanted you to see, I-I wanted to show you I was ready,” you said, voice weak but needy.

“Then you sit on your bed and wait for me, I will be there in ten minutes-”

“Jungkook, you live almost halfway across the city it’s almost one in the morning baby-”

“Ten minutes,” he promised before hanging up.

You looked at your phone and paused your timer.

Time Remaining: 9:39 minutes

You sent a quick text to Yeri.

Y/N: Please wait to hear from me in approximately three business days...

✨Yeri✨: be safe, get that dick 👀👀👀

You went to brush your teeth and comb your hair when you heard your front door open and shut. Just as you turned around Jungkook was dropping his jacket in your bedroom as he shouldered his way into your small bathroom and pulled you in for a searing kiss.

With a soft yelp of surprise you wrapped your arms around his neck, letting him kiss you with as much passion as he wanted. You returned it in kind. Jungkook wound his arms around your waist, hands gripping your robe and cupping the base of your spine as he backed you up against the counter.

“Baby,” you whispered against his lips as he pulled back for a split second to change the position of his head.

“You can’t attack me like that, no sudden provocative photos, my heart and dick almost exploded,” he said, kissing you again, the last of his sentence spoken into your own mouth.

You chuckled at his eagerness as he held you in his arms.

“Up on the counter,” he breathed, grabbing your thighs and practically dead lifting you onto the vanity and capturing your lips before your squeal could wake the entire apartment complex.

Thankfully, your apartment was at the end of the hall, and your neighbor was known to rarely be home.

But really you couldn’t care less, your boyfriend’s tongue was wicked and hot and currently working its way into your mouth. Jungkook grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to him as he kissed you like it was his sole purpose in this life. Tongue swiping along yours before he nipped at your already swollen and pouty lower lip.

“Fuck... fuck I’m so hard,” he panted, resting his forehead against yours as he breathed heavily. You smoothed your hands over his shoulders and watched as they rose and fell in quick succession in time with his labored breaths.

“Yeah?” you whispered, voice stolen by his kiss.

“Baby you really have no idea,” he said, locking eyes with you as he cradled your neck. “I’m literally ready to fuck you stupid, but... But I want it to be special and-”

“Anything I do with you is special, Kook,” you said, cupping his cheek and giving him a sweet grin. “I love you.”

His eyes melted into a softer expression. “I love you too,” he said, kissing you much gentler than before, leaving sweet and soft kisses along your cheeks and planting one last firm one on your lips. “So, you want to do this?”

You nodded quickly, feeling the slickness in your panties becoming uncomfortable fast. “Yes, I want you,” you said.

Jungkook nodded and connected your lips again. “Do you want to use condoms or not?”

“No, I have the implant and I trust you,” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Give me everything, baby, I want all of you.”

He connected your mouths again in a desperate and messy kiss, pulling you in and helping you off the counter before he picked you up and had you wrap your legs around his small waist. You squeaked as he held you under your ass as he navigated the short jaunt back to your bed. You held his jaw as you kissed him more, threading your fingers into his thick hair at the base of his head.

With a happy sigh he sat down on your bed and you settled your knees on either side of his thighs. Your center was placed directly above his straining cock. Your hips jolted forwards just a touch at the sensation of his denim pants rubbing against your sensitive core.

“Ngh~ Jungkook,” you whimpered, kissing along his jaw and sucking tender marks into his skin. “Want to feel you, please,” you pouted.

With a smirk he fell back, laying flat against the bed and you fell over him, hands just above his shoulders as you crouched above his frame.

“Go ahead then, you can touch me wherever you want,” he said, a smug look on his face.

You bit your lip and looked at his shirt buttons. The top few were undone, no doubt from him lounging at home. With eager hands you planted your hips right on his lap causing him to huff in momentary bliss. You loosened the buttons and tugged the fabric from his pants and managed to toss the infernal thing onto your floor to be promptly forgotten.

You smoothed your hands over his stomach and chest, smiling before connecting your lips to his skin in tentative, wet kisses.

Jungkook sighed, bringing his hand to your cheek as goosebumps rose over his skin as you placed your lips along his stomach and up to his chest. You didn’t have a lot of experience, but you just wanted to appreciate him.

Your heart hammered against your chest as you brought your lips to his throat and neck. Your hand ran up his peck and you brushed your thumb across his nipple with heat settled in your face. Jungkook, however, was eager for any and all of your affection.

“Shit... such a good girl,” he breathed, heart thrumming in his chest rapidly.

Your thoughts wandered briefly at his reaction to your thumb on his nipple, you wondered if he’d ever be into clamps-

“Baby~” Jungkook whined softly at your lack of movement. “Don’t tease me, I can’t handle it right now,” he groaned.

“C-Can I suck on them?” you asked, thumb still caressing his tender and pebbled nub.

Jungkook swallowed hard as a pretty blush rose to his cheeks, the expression on his face as he nodded at you with a furrowed brow.

Slowly, you lathed your tongue across his pec before finding his nipple. Jungkook’s hips jolted at your soft and wet tongue swirling around his sensitive skin. And the growl he let out was pure sin, causing your thighs to clench instinctively.

“You have such a sweet little mouth,” he sighed, cradling your jaw as he tossed his head back in pleasure. You moved to the other nipple, sucking and nipping softly at his flushed flesh.

“Kook,” you purred against his skin, sucking a harsh love bite into his skin right after.

His hips kicked up again at the sharp pain of your teeth, but he moaned softly at your tender licks and kisses right after. Only to nip at him once more.

“Careful baby, you keep that up and I’m not gonna last,” he panted, blowing some of his hair out of his face.

“Feels good?” you asked, unintentionally rocking your hips as you sat up.

Jungkook gripped your waist, holding you still and you felt his cock throbbing through his fucking jeans. You weren’t sure if that was possible. Maybe it was your own needy core pulsing for him.

“S-Stop wriggling, if you grind on me one more time I’m gonna rip these stupid panties off and shove my cock in your pussy now,” he snarled, eyes shut tight.

His threatening tone made you clench hard. Your panties were ruined, probably beyond salvaging.

It was for a good cause.

“Want your cock in my pussy anyways,” you smirked, ready to roll your hips against his once more. Jungkook pressed his thumbs against your lower stomach as he grit his teeth.

“Baby, I’m trying really hard not to fuck you stupid on this bed right now. I’m ready to Edward in Twilight this bed I swear to fucking god-”

You snorted at his hilarity, before shifting your hips once more. Jungkook’s eyes snapped to you and he grinned. “Be that way.”

With a squeal you felt yourself being pitched backwards. You scrambled to grab onto Jungkook to avoid being literally yeeted off your own bed.

But, with the strength of some supernatural creature he managed to catch you and almost slam you underneath him.

His biceps were toned and strong above you, his scent fresh and calming in your nose. You looked up and saw his eyes boring into your own. They were just as bright as they always have been, but there was a depth you hadn’t seen before.

The longing that he held in his eyes was intense, causing your legs to squirm under him. Jungkook hooked his fingers into your panties and looked at you with the same intensity, but raised a brow.

Do you want to stop?

You shook your head and lifted your hips to help him ease the fabric off your legs.

Your bravado was slowly draining, the look in your boyfriend's eyes disabling you for a moment. He looked starving. You watched his expression simmer into barely constrained lust. His palms were smooth on your thighs, making your legs tremble in desire. His jaw clenched tightly, lip between his teeth as he tried to keep himself from shoving inside you without any prep.

But fuck...

Your pussy already had him weak.

Sweet lips that were puffy and eager, covered in your slick and Jungkook’s cock ached at the thought of getting to go in bare. He lowered himself down between your legs to place a sweet kiss on your core. You gasped softly at the sensation before looking at him with your pretty eyes.

“You okay, Y/N? Not too much?” he asked.

“N-No you’re okay I’ve just... I haven't done much,” you breathed. Jungkook nodded slowly, moving forward to connect your lips together.

“That’s okay, you tell me what feels good and we’ll go from there, yeah?” he asked, thumbs rubbing soft circles into your thighs.

You nodded with a smile, bringing him in for another hot kiss. Jungkook moaned against your lips as he cupped your sex. “So wet for me honey,” he cooed. You tugged your shirt and bra off in quick succession, almost getting tangled in them both but Jungkook was focused on an entirely different part of you.

With hungry eyes he moved in on your core once more. You gasped when his tongue met your wetness, and he moaned in bliss when he tasted your flavor flooding his mouth. “Fuck... fuck... Y/N, baby,” he sighed, licking firmly against your pulsing cunt.

“J-Jungkook,” you hiccuped in pleasure. “Please, more...”

His eyes connected with yours briefly before he grabbed your thighs and started to eat you out like a man possessed. You’d never felt pleasure this aching and desperate. Like everything he was doing was too much and yet not enough.

Jungkook was thoroughly fucked in almost every sense of the word. His heart hammered in his chest as he ate his best friend and beautiful girlfriend out. Everything about you had him practically hypnotized. He’d never felt so turned on.

The pair of you whined and groaned as he continued to pleasure you with his devilishly sweet lips.

He moved from your entrance to your clit and alternated his pressure, causing your mind to swirl in hypersensitive pleasure. But it was... so fucking good...

“K-Kook! B-Baby! M’gonna cum! Please... please let me cum,” you cried, gripping the sheets tightly in your fists as he plunged two fingers into your entrance.

A sharp whine fell from your lips as you clamped down on his fingers while he worked you up to your peak of bliss.

“Then cum for me honey... Let me see you cum for me, wanna make you cream my face,” he growled deep in his chest.

With a glance at his face you felt your stomach clench hard due to his eagerness. You were worried he’d not be interested in this part of sex, but you loved him so much you weren’t honestly concerned about not enjoying sex with him.

However, just like always, Jungkook surprised you.

He almost seemed to get off on your pleasure, it wasn’t a chore to work you up like you’d worried about. And with the way he was rutting against the mattress you were wondering who was enjoying it more to be honest.

Then, he hooked his fingers up, pushing against your sweet spot.

After being held on the edge for so long... you were thrown off the cliff into your orgasm.

“Fuck! Jungkook! Fuck, fuck!”

You could hardly think of words to express your pleasure, let alone anything coherent.

Jungkook was encouraging you softly as he eased you through your pleasure. “My good girl, give it to me baby,” he purred, cleaning your center softly as you came down from your peak.

“Holy shit,” you panted, quickly bringing him up from your center to kiss you. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, mingling the flavor of you with his own distinct taste.

“You look so fucking pretty when you cum baby, I want to see you do it over and over again,” he groaned, cradling your face while you exchanged hot kisses.

After a while you started to run your hands down his stomach and to the waistband of his pants. He separated your kiss to look at you with a soft expression. “Want me?” he asked, his thumb running across your cheek with tender eyes.

You gave him a sweet smile and kissed him again. “Yes Jungkook,” you breathed against his lips. “I’m yours...”

He didn’t need any more encouragement from you, pulling his jeans off quickly and tossing them on the floor before you carefully put your hand inside his boxers. You could feel your hearts beating wildly inside your chests. Jungkook looked at you with hunger but love mixed in his eyes.

You felt yourself become more and more confident when you touched him, and also in being touched. It can be a hard thing to share your body with a person. But with Jungkook, everything has always been so natural and easy.

This was proving to be no different.

His hand fell over yours and gently guided you to squeeze and apply gentle pressure to his aching cock. His head tipped back as he let out soft puffs of air.

“F-Fuck, please Y/N, I’m aching baby, I need to put it in you,” he whined.

The sound of his pleading did something to you, causing more slick to leak from your core. To be wanting in such a deep way had your heart ready to fly away if your ribcage wasn’t there to stop it.

“Then put it in, want you,” you said, cheeks hot from all the intensity of your exchange.

Jungkook pushed his boxers off, revealing his cock to you and causing your eyes to widen. He wasn’t extremely massive. But he was definitely larger than the previous dick you’d experimented with. He led your hand to him, gently stroking his length with your soft hand and he sighed in pleasure.

“Feels so good baby, so hard for you,” he said, his eyebrow furrowed as he tried desperately to keep his composure.

You couldn’t believe you were here in this moment. With the person you loved more than anything, ready to share the last part of yourself with him. It made you emotional for a moment.

“Kiss me,” you pleaded.

Jungkook’s ears perked at your weaker tone, but when he saw the look in your eyes he knew you were just emotional. He gave you a small but sweet smile.

“Of course, Y/N, love kissing you,” he purred, placing little pecks around your shoulders and neck. Finally connecting your lips in a hot kiss.

His hand moved away from yours but you kept your hand on his cock and gave him a few tentative tugs. Jungkook bucked his hips forwards at the sensation rising up his spine and flooding his lower stomach. He’d been hard for so long he was worried he wasn’t going to last long. But something told him no matter the time, this was going to be special.

Just because it was you two.

“Okay, okay I’m ready baby,” you said.

Jungkook nodded, adjusting the two of you on the bed. He put a pillow behind your head and lifted your leg into the hook of one of his elbows.

He ran his cock against your slick folds to test your wetness, and to no surprise you were still soaked.

“Good baby, so wet for me... fuck,” he breathed. “Deep breath, relax for me Y/N, if it hurts just tell me, okay?”

You nodded, hand settling on his biceps. Jungkook gave you one more look for reassurance but you squeezed his arms in confirmation before he pushed in slowly.

A gasp ripped from your throat as he entered you. You breathed slowly and deeply as he carefully seated himself inside you. You gripped his shoulders and pulled him in for another kiss when he finally slid home.

He kissed you softly, giving tender nips and wet pecks to your neck and jaw.

“Good girl, fucking so hot and wet on my cock... fuck-fuck Y/N,” he moaned into your neck.

You didn’t even have words to describe how good he felt. It was as if this was always meant to happen, like you and him were always going to end up here at this moment.

“Kook~” you mewled, biting your lip as he gave you a moment to adjust.

“Does it hurt, baby?” he asked, smoothing his thumb over your cheek.

“N-No... just full!” you whined, the pleasure of him being inside of you finally settling in. “You can move baby, please fuck me...”

Jungkook didn’t need to be told twice, starting an easy rhythm that had the two of you sighing in bliss. With a deft movement Jungkook hooked both of your knees around the crook of his elbows as he started to build a steady pace that had your stomach clenching in pleasure.

“So good baby, so good,” he panted, rolling his hips against yours with purpose.

You moved your hands down to his lower stomach as he steadily quickened his thrusts inside of you. With needy whines you let him guide you through this experience. His eyes were locked on yours while he drove home inside you each time.

“Kook! Fuck,” you cried, head falling back against the pillow.

“Right here Y/N,” he called softly, his voice slightly breathless now that he’d been fucking you. “Fuck... you’re soaking my cock baby. Look so pretty letting me fuck you like this.”

He adjusted your legs so you were laying to one side, your legs pressed together as he held your hips to thrust into you faster.

“F-Fuck, I’m not gonna last much longer,” he grit his teeth.

The new position had you speechless.

He felt so thick inside you, pounding against your walls as more and more slick leaked from you. You could feel it on your legs. And the deep throbbing ache inside you was looming over your head as he continued to fuck you senseless.

“Me too!” you whined, reaching for his wrists as he kept his brutal pace on you.

“Gonna cum for me again? Please cum for me baby, need to see you,” he begged, panting harshly at the sheer need swirling in his stomach. “Gonna let me cum inside? Let me fill up your sweet cunt baby?”

You nodded, a bobble head effect to your features as you watched him with watery eyes. The pleasure was rushing up your neck and seemingly scrambling what was left of the brains he hadn’t fucked out of you yet.

“Inside, Jungkook! Need it!” you sobbed, pleasure suffusing every ounce of you as you felt yourself crash over the edge into another-intense-orgasm.

Jungkook wasn’t far behind you, the hot rush of euphoria flooding his spine as he came hard inside of you. He rutted a few more times while growling deep in his throat. You felt so good on his cock and he couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to have you this way.

Especially after everything you’d been through together.

But that’s what made it even better in his mind.

He wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but here.

You both let your breaths even out until he was pulling from your core slowly, watching with lustful eyes as his cum slowly dribbled from your puffy pussy.

Jungkook kissed you then, surprisingly soft and tender as he felt his heart beat even out into the gentle flutter it usually was with you around. He smiled against your lips as you kissed him back.

“I love you so much, Y/N, more than anything...” he whispered.

“I love you too, Jungkook,” you said.

“You’re my best friend, and the best girlfriend, you make me so happy...” he trailed off.

Usually Jungkook was affectionate, but sometimes he got this emotional spurt where he just gushed about how lucky he was. And how much he loved you.

It was sweet and endearing, and you were similarly affected.

“You’re my best friend too. And the best boyfriend,” you said, a cheeky smile working its way onto your face.

Jungkook’s features lit up at your statement. He leaned down once more, pulling you close as the pair of you kissed again.

The night was dragging on, but inside your little apartment you knew that Jungkook would always choose you.

And you would choose him.

Always.

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (7.5) (m.)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: exes au, fluff, Angst, smut; THE REASON™️, crying because obviously there's gonna be crying, mentions of hobi leaving :(, cursing, uhm she hits him; kissing (well, of course 😂), br*ast play, t*tty s*cking, oral s*x (f. receiving), f*ngering, unprotected s*x, r*ding, cr*ampie, uhm idk i think that's it word count: 6.9k (poetic, i know) note (1): holy fucking shit i am literally shaking like a chihuahua as i'm writing this a/n. what the hell it's finally here. we've been waiting for this for almost a year and a half. TREMENDOUS thanks to Jo @daechwitatamic, Ari @/wintaerbaer (edited 2024: crossed out but not removed bc even tho she plagiarized obs afterward, she did beta this for me so i guess i still gotta give her that lmfao), and Jazz @jeonwiixard for beta-ing this for me and for reassuring me that it's not a load of crap (probably) and especially Jo for telling me if i back out she'll come kick me. frick! gaaaah. okay i'm gonna let you read or i'll go out of my mind

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

I want you to smile, to feel like enough 'Cause you deserve yellow and lions and love I hope you come back when you're doing well Forgive me for being the worst of myself

New Recording 28 - Chelsea Cutler

The second the door is closed, his mouth is on yours again. 

His hand on your waist, yours in his hair, it’s similar to how it was mere minutes ago, just the urgency has increased tenfold. You want his suit off as much as you want your dress on the floor.

Jungkook detaches from your lips to let you breathe as he cages you between his body and the door, but it’s not like you can focus very well on breathing when he starts kissing down your neck, sucking bruises into your skin. His hands travel south, one palm curving around your hips to grope your ass, the other settling on the back of your thigh to lift it up, opening your legs wider so he could better slot in between them. With your leg lifted, it makes the slit in your dress ride up, exposing your core to the cool air of the room. You can feel his growing bulge pressed against you, right over your panties. 

You whimper his name when he sucks on the sweet spot on your neck, his hips grinding against you slowly.

“Yeah?” You can hear the smirk in that one simple word and the honey that drips from his voice. “What is it?”

“Want you…”

“I’m right here,” Jungkook says. His slender fingers rub you over the pink lace that you’re wearing underneath your dress, teasing your opening through the fabric for a few beats before he pushes your panties aside. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”

His breath is hot on your neck. He presses his lips against your skin absentmindedly, the tip of his index circling you but not pushing inside just yet.

“Tell me you want me too,” you pant, your arm hooking around his neck to hold him close.

“I want you.”

Truth.

You pull him in for another bruising kiss before you blindly push him further into the room, your hands roaming the broad expanse of his clothed chest. He stops when the back of his knees hit the bed.

“Hey.” Jungkook breaks away from the kiss to look at you. “Are you sure?”

If Jimin knew what you’re doing right now, he’d say that you have zero self preservation instincts.

He’d be right, though. If you had any self preservation instincts, you wouldn’t be doing this.

Your stupid, battered heart has only ever wanted him.

“I’m sure,” comes your immediate reply. It’s desperate, but you don’t have it in yourself to even care. “I’m sure. I want this. Please.”

“You were drinking.”

“I’m not drunk. I promise.”

Maybe it’d be better if you were drunk. Then you could at least blame this lapse of judgment on a pathetic state of inebriation and not on your stupid self who’s always weak for him.

He stares at you for a minute, searching for any sign of your willingness being driven by alcohol. He seems relieved when he finds none, and it isn’t until then that he shrugs off his jacket, before helping you take off his dress shirt and trousers.

You haven’t seen him like this in so long.

Every defined line on his body, accentuating every detail that you could spend hours running your fingers over.

He looks different but at the same time, not really. A tad more muscular, but still the same lean frame. Hard chest and abs on full display for you. God, your fingers are fucking twitching with the need to touch him.

Once he’s been stripped down to his boxers, he leans down to kiss you before you stop him with a hand on his chest. The lone tiger lily on his arm catches your attention.

Your fingers reach out to trace the black ink on his body, the lines delicate, your touch feather light. You’re suddenly curious. When did he get it? You can’t remember if you two ever talked about getting tattoos.

“What does it mean?” you ask. It strikes you with the realization that this is just one of the thousands of things that you missed, a reminder of your lost time. 

“Please love me,” he says, bringing his hands up to cup your face. He looks at you, just for a few seconds, before clarifying, “It means ‘Please love me,’” then kissing you again.

Jungkook clumsily and blindly searches for the dress’ zipper on your back, giving it a few impatient tugs until it finally starts gliding down your body. Your lips never part from one another as the dress falls to the floor, pooling at your feet. But once you step out of it, he does pull back to look at you from head to toe. His eyes fall to your chest, clad in a lacy pink bra that matches your panties. The look he gives you is the same one that he did when he saw you in your dress earlier today. But there’s something else in his eyes - realization, pride, perhaps a question too.

His hands are back on your body instantly, throwing you onto the bed, crawling over you like a predator. He discards your bra with ease, flinging it to the floor with the rest of your clothes. You shiver when the chilly air meets your bare chest, but the sensation quickly goes away when he takes your breast into his warm mouth. You let out a delighted sigh, arching your back to push yourself further into him as his tongue flicks over your stiff nipple. One of his hands comes up to squeeze your other breast to make sure that it isn’t neglected, rolling your pebbled bud between his thumb and forefinger. He switches to sucking your other tit after a while, then pawing at the one he just had in his mouth.

“Jungkook,” you whine his name when he makes out with your tits for too long, because there’s somewhere else that desperately requires his immediate attention. “Need you…”

He releases your nipple with a wet pop, and he looks pleased with himself when he sees that they’re thoroughly glistening with his spit. “Sorry,” he says with a chuckle. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” He starts making his way down your body, kissing every inch of your skin that’s on display for him, before you put a hand on his shoulder when his face gets close to your thighs.

“What are you doing?”

He looks up at you as his fingers ghost over the fabric of your panties. “Can I?”

You lick your lips, contemplating whether or not you have the patience to wait for him. But alas, you decide, “Okay.”

Jungkook makes quick work of sliding your underwear down your legs and letting it join the pile on the floor. Even in the dim light, he can see just how wet you are, practically glittering with arousal, looking so utterly inviting that it makes his mouth water. All of this, just for him.

He doesn’t waste another second, diving right into you to lick a stripe up your dripping folds. Swiftly burying two fingers into your heat, he doesn’t stop until he’s knuckles deep. Your lips part in a silent but delighted moan. You forgot how good he used to make you feel. Your fingers could never feel as good as his, not thick enough to stretch yourself open and not long enough to reach deep inside of you.

“Fuck,” you drawl, your eyes fluttering shut when the tip of his tongue meets your throbbing clit, teasing it until you’re practically grinding against his face. You thread a hand into his hair, gripping his dark locks until he’s groaning, sending blissful vibrations all throughout your body. The figure 8’s that his tongue draws on your clit sets you alight, sends you into a whole other dimension completely as pleasure courses through your veins. 

“So good,” he mumbles. To you? To himself? You can’t tell, but that doesn’t really matter. “Still so good.”

You hear it, just how soaked you are, as he begins thrusting his digits in and out of you. He strokes your walls delicately with each press of his fingers, scissoring you open for what you know is to come. 

His tongue dips into your entrance then, teases your dripping hole as you pant heavily, 

Your legs close in on his head as the orgasm nears, but he keeps your thighs apart, firmly holding them open as he makes you unravel.

This is fucking unreal - Jungkook with his whole face tucked between your legs, desperate to make you come with his talented mouth. You never would have anticipated this when you woke up this morning.

No, just a while ago you were crying by yourself down at the beach. Now you’re crying out his name as he smothers himself in you.

Once he starts curling them inside of you, it’s embarrassing how fast you come. You clench hard around his fingers as the orgasm washes over you, dripping down his fingers and he uses the added wetness to carry you through the high.

“Jungkook…” you whimper, sounding completely fucked out even though it’s only just beginning. After a while, the heightened pleasure fades into the background, and he presses soft kisses against your inner thigh.

He crawls his way up your body until he’s facing you again. You watch his fingers and the way they’re coated in your juices, wondering what he’ll do with them next. Jungkook languidly smears the wetness all over your lips like he’s carefully painting them, only to kiss you afterward. When you moan against him, he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your hand finds its way into his boxers then, wrapping your fingers around his hardened length, pumping him in your fist until he’s shallowly rutting against you.

The kiss gets broken when he suddenly pulls away, realization dawning on him. “Shit,” he exclaims. “I don’t have a condom.”

“Oh.” You blink at him, then you both just look at each other for a while. This isn’t a problem with no solution, even if the solution is a disastrous one in hindsight. You just want him, so badly that you can’t think of anything else.

He waits for you, doesn’t dare say anything else until you do.

Yet again, the opportunity presents itself for you to stop.

But you’ve already gone this far, and though it’s damn near impossible, you want him even more than you did before.

“Are you clean?” you ask.

It’s evident that he’s surprised by the way his eyes widen, and his silence that follows for the next half a minute. “Yeah,” he tells you.

“Okay. Then we don’t need a condom.”

He says your name once, his fingers brushing your hair away from your face sweetly. You always did like your name best when it used to fall from his lips so softly. “Are you sure?” he asks.

“I’m sure. I promise.”

Jungkook sucks in a breath, like he’s steadying himself, before he rids himself of the remaining piece of clothing on his body, then settles between your legs again. This time, his cock rests directly on your bare pussy. The anticipation makes it harder for you to breathe, makes you squeeze your thighs around his waist to not let him leave.

“How long has it been?”

Your answer is vague. “Too long,” you say. You don’t want to tell him that there’s been no one else since him, but you have a feeling that he understands it anyway. You think that he’d be pleased with your answer, that maybe it would boost his ego in a way, but there’s only a certain sadness that settles in his eyes. 

“Okay.” Regardless, he pushes past the sudden gloom that befalls his features, blinking away the disheartenment swimming in his irises, to align himself with your entrance. He rubs his cock against your pussy to coat you in his precum, even though you yourself are certainly more than wet enough for him to slide home easily. “Ready?”

“Yes,” you confirm, bracing your hands on his shoulders as he eases the tip into you, making the both of you moan at the contact. You feel him, all of him.

For a second, you wonder if he has ever forgone protection with anyone else, or if it’s only ever been just you.

Jungkook takes one of your hands off his shoulder to lay it flat on the bed next to your head, lacing your fingers together, giving your hand a slight squeeze. “Breathe. You can do it.”

“Give me a minute.”

“We’ve got time,” he says, his voice smooth like velvet.

“Can you kiss me?” you ask, almost like you’re shy even though he’s balls deep inside of you.

He chuckles lightly, so endeared by you and your silly question.

His lips meet yours sweetly, like doing so would help make the stretch less painful. Maybe it does, at least a little bit. 

You can feel his cock throbbing inside of you, and he’s probably trying so hard to hold back, but he keeps kissing you nonetheless.

“You can move,” you say after a while.

“I’ll go slow, okay?”

“Okay.”

He rears his hips back, slowly, then thrusts forward again. You whimper from the slight burn, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. His movements are gentle for the next couple of minutes or so, and it isn’t until you start opening up more that he sets a steadier pace. Even when he starts to fuck you faster, one of his hands is still on your hips, rubbing your skin soothingly. 

“Fuck,” Jungkook grunts out, followed by a sigh of your name as he pumps into your cunt, every ridge and vein of his cock dragging deliciously in and out of your walls. “You feel so good.”

He gazes down at you as he moves, and there’s just something so intimate about it that it makes you want to cry again.

You know what it’s like to have him fuck you, and this isn’t it.

No, this is something else entirely.

I love you, you think. I love you so fucking much.

“Missed you.” His words come out hushed, caught in half a moan, half a whimper. “Missed you so fucking much.”

“Did you think about me?”

“Always,” he says, without even missing a beat.

“No,” you clarify. “When you were sleeping with other people, did you think about me?”

“I only thought about you.” His hips stutter as he tells you this, like he’s confessing to something that he shouldn’t. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

You never admitted this to anyone, not even Taehyung even though he probably sensed it, but you used to feel like you could be physically sick just looking at the photos on his feed every time you’d lurk on a drunken night. They were never flashy, just subtle enough for you to know that there was someone. It made you nauseous, because the place next to him was always supposed to be yours.

You just stare at him, not knowing how to process this bit of information. Sure, it’s an ego boost. There’s some pride in knowing that you were the one on his mind even if you weren’t together.

He’s so utterly gorgeous like this that you can’t form a single coherent thought, too lost in the way his eyes bore into yours and in the blossoming warmth that spreads all over your chest from hearing his words.

How did he manage to get even more beautiful? Sculpted by the gods. The standard for all men.

“What is it?” he asks when you stare at him for too long.

“I…” You blink away the daze. “I wanna be on top.”

“Okay.”

Jungkook slips out of you just long enough to get seated with his back against the headboard and pull you into his lap. You hover over him, letting his tip rub against your dripping hole for a moment before you sink onto him. You tip your head back and sigh as you envelope him fully again, the only difference is that you can feel him so much deeper like this.

He grabs your ass with both hands, kneading your skin as he helps you ride him. The sounds that you make together are downright obscene, bouncing off the walls, ringing in your ears.

“Harder,” you tell him shakily. “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I want it to hurt,” you say, holding onto him like you’re bracing for impact, because you know he’ll give you what you want. “Make it hurt.”

Jungkook sighs once, then digs his heels into the mattress to steady himself before his hips go wild, thrusting into you with such force that it nearly has you sobbing, your head falling onto his shoulder. It makes you burn with pleasure, like a star before it becomes a supernova. When the tension starts building quickly, you can’t help but slam your hips down harder to meet his thrusts, to chase that high.

You press your lips against his skin, any spot you could find - his jaw, his neck, his shoulder. “Tell me you love me.”

The words are ready on the tip of his tongue, like he’s been waiting for an opportunity to say it. He doesn’t miss a single beat as he tells you, “I love you.”

“Mean it.”

“I do mean it. I love you.”

Truth.

For some sick and twisted reason, his words send you crashing over the edge, falling into that abyss of pleasure that you’ve been searching for. You say his name, over and over again, like you’re making up for all the years that he wasn’t around to hear it.

Your walls convulse wildly around him as you cry out, your toes curling, your thighs shaking. He holds you close, thrusting into you through your orgasm until you’re dizzy, like you could actually pass out from the overwhelming bliss.

“I’m close,” he tells you in a raspy voice.

You catch your breath long enough to say, “Come for me.”

“Where do you want it?”

“Inside,” you say without much thought. If you were in a clearer state of mind, you would know that it’s reckless and stupid. You’re not on birth control, and if anything were to happen, you would have no one to blame but yourself.

But you aren’t in a clear state of mind, and maybe this is even more dangerous than if you were fueled by alcohol. At least you can sober up from alcohol.

You just want him so badly that rationality seems like a luxury you can’t afford right now.

“Y/N,” he whispers shakily, though there’s a warning edge to his voice that you understand.

“I want you to come inside me. I want it. I want it so bad. Please.”

Jungkook groans at your answer. 

He doesn’t ask you to look at him, instead choosing to hide his face against your neck where you feel something wet glide down your skin as he grips your hips. It’s followed by a sniffle, and hands that hold onto you like you’re a lifeline. 

He’s crying, and that breaks your fucking heart.

You don’t know what to do. Part of you wants to tilt his chin up to look at you, because it feels strange without his tender gaze on you, but you decide against it even though the tips of your fingers tingle with the need to do so. 

Your walls clench with purpose, squeezing around him, trying to help you get there. It’s not that long before you hear your name falling from his lips in a choked out moan, so needy and beautiful and makes you nostalgic. He empties himself inside of you, making you shudder from the sudden warmth that he paints along your walls.

You stay in the same position for a few more minutes until your chest is no longer heaving with exhaustion and euphoria. He gently pulls you off his lap to lay you down on the bed, pressing an apologetic kiss against your bare shoulder when you wince from the oversensitivity, from any kind of movement at all. 

When he moves to throw on his boxers and goes to stand up, you reach for him. “Where are you going?” You instantly feel pathetic for asking.

He pauses, then squeezes your hand as that sadness from before makes an appearance in his eyes again. “I’m just going to the bathroom,” he tells you, his voice quiet.

The relief on your face must be visible. “Okay,” you say. Rationally, you know he probably wouldn’t fuck you and leave you the second the deed is done. But again, rationality is a luxury at the moment.

Jungkook returns a couple of minutes later with a warm cloth, and dabs it between your legs to clean you up. You grimace when he touches you there, evidently sore already from the activities you just engaged in.

“Sorry,” he’s quick to say, though it isn’t really his fault. Or maybe it is his fault. You’re not sure if that even matters.

When he’s done, he gets under the covers with you. “Come here,” he says, then shuffles your body closer to his until he’s holding you with his hands on your bare waist. He leans down to kiss you, and you let him. God, you feel like you’re fucking melting.

It’s different from the kiss down at the beach, and it’s different from the needy ones you shared in the past hour. It’s soft and slow and easy, like there’s nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about.

Jungkook breaks away eventually, and rests his forehead against yours then. One of his hands on your waist slides up to your ribs, until his thumb could brush the underside of your breast. The touch is gentle, sweet, completely innocent.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. He means everything he tells you. “You’re perfect.”

You even blush, like you’re a stupid lovesick teenager. “Tell me,” you say.

“Anything.”

You reckon it’s self-indulgent at this point. You’re only asking to feel better about your place in his life, or rather, the place that used to be yours.

“Tell me you can’t live without me.”

He nudges his nose against yours. No hesitation. “I can’t live without you.”

Truth. You know it’s the truth.

Nonetheless… “Liar.” Your tone is soft. There’s no bite at all. You touch his face, trying to commit to memory every detail, how his soft skin feels under your touch as if it’s the last time you’ll ever get to see him like this. Maybe it is. You never got to have a last time with him, never got to know that it was ending before it already ended. You’re not thinking about the morning because you don’t want to, but the seed of anxiety is there in your belly. Your fingers trace his jawline as you say, “You lived without me. You were doing fine without me.”

His lips ghost over your cheek. “It wasn’t much of a life,” he says. “I couldn’t bear it without you.”

The thing is, you know that he’s being honest. And it should make you feel good that you affected him as much as he affected you.

But then… it keeps leading you back to that question. The question that you thought you could go the rest of your life without knowing the answer to. But for that to be possible, you needed him to stay gone, stay out of your world forever.

He shouldn’t be here, tangled up in the sheets with you and kissing you like his life depends on it. 

He shouldn’t tell you that he misses you, that he loves you. Shouldn’t tell you to please, love him too.

It’s contradictory, isn’t it? You needed to never see him again if you stood a chance of moving on with your life. You needed it and yet, all you wanted was to have him back by your side.

The tattoo catches your attention again. It feels like it’s laughing at you, mocking you.

You clench your teeth once, your eyes beginning to turn glassy. Jungkook sees it, and he’s quick to break up your train of thought. He presses his mouth to yours, shushing you with a deep kiss that makes your head spin, despite it all.

“Don’t think about it,” he mumbles against your lips, so desperate to get you to stop. As if he can sense where this could lead.

“How could I not? I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“You know me.” He holds onto your wrist, to keep your hand on his face before you can pull it away. “I’m still the same.”

“No, you’re not,” you say quietly, absentmindedly.

“Yes,” he insists. “Yes, I am.”

Maybe that’s true. Maybe you do see the person you used to know. But you only ever see him in glimpses and it always leaves you with a terrible, nauseous feeling afterward.

He doesn’t understand how much it hurts you to catch glimpses of the boy you used to love - the boy you still love - only to realize that maybe that isn’t the person he wants to be anymore. It feels like he keeps trying to kill that version of himself, like he despises the person who meant the world to you.

Are you gone forever?

Come back quietly.

“How old are you?” you ask after a moment.

The question makes him pause, his soft features twisting in confusion. He leans back a bit, so his eyes could focus on your face better.

“What?”

“How old are you?” you repeat.

It takes him another while to answer as he tries to see where you’re going with this. But when his search comes up empty, he just answers, “29.”

"I don't know who you are at 29. The last time I knew you was 24. No. You hadn't even turned 24 yet. Where was 25? 26? 27? 28? It’s unfair that you still know who I am when I don't know who you are. I feel like I never aged a day past 24. You carried on living but I'm still here."

His eyes well up once again, but this time, you can see it. The first tear spills over, lands somewhere on your collarbone. This is what you used to want, right? To see him hurting, just like how you were hurting? Well, be careful what you wish for.

No part of you feels victorious that you’re making him cry, that the score is finally being settled, because none of this undoes all of the shit you had to go through. If anything, it makes you feel even worse, like you’re still losing.

“I never moved on from us. I couldn’t move on from you,” he says, voice cracking toward the end. Your heart is doing the same thing in your chest, but you’re glad that he can’t see it. “I swear I miss you every day. I wanted you with me every day. You have no idea how much I wanted to come back to you.”

Jungkook looks so dejected, like a reflection of you these past few years. You recognize that look in his eyes. You know that sadness all too well. He was in as much pain as you were.

He loved you when he left you. He still loves you even after all this time. 

You inhale shakily. For the first time, you feel infinitely selfish for only focusing on your own misery without even stopping to give him the benefit of the doubt, to consider the possibility that maybe letting you go wasn’t something he wanted. Maybe he isn’t the antagonist that you spent years making him out to be.

There’s more to it, and you need to know.

“Then why did you leave me?”

Graduation was just shy of a month ago, and two weeks before that was Hoseok’s flight when he left you all behind.

You and Jungkook, along with Taehyung and Jimin had gone to see him off at the airport. Of course you did, you were his best of friends after all. The goodbye was full of jokes accompanied by sniffles, and tears that overflowed without permission because you all agreed that you would hold yourself together for Hoseok. Jimin was probably the one who cried the most, even though inside, you were equally sad to see your friend leave.

A part of your life was ending, and that in and of itself was depressing enough already, but you thought at least the whole group would still be together and start the next chapter by each other’s side.

Nonetheless, it wasn’t the end of the world. All of you could still make it work, even if it wasn’t the most ideal of situations. You promised to keep in touch, promised to message the group chat every day and have video calls every weekend. You were still kids, and kids tend to be optimistic like that.

What none of you could see coming was how everything would fall apart in a matter of mere weeks.

Jungkook thinks that decades from now, when he’s old and gray and helpless, he still won’t be able to forget that day.

He should’ve been more concerned when your mother contacted him out of nowhere, asking him to meet with her, asking him not to let you know where he was going.

He’d shown up half an hour early to the cafe where they were supposed to meet, just because he didn’t want to risk being late and have your mother disapprove of him even more. Not once had she expressed anything other than disdain toward your relationship, but you’d always told him it didn’t matter, that you were the only person who could decide what to do with your life, not anyone else, let alone your mother. He always believed you back then, even if deep down, he still wanted her to see that he was enough for you. Her unattainable approval still mattered to him.

Jungkook spent thirty whole minutes running on nothing but anxiety and caffeine. That was probably his first mistake, ordering a cup of coffee which only made him more nervous than he already was.

When your mother arrived, it barely took her any time at all to get right into what she came here to say. She hadn’t even bothered with a drink.

Was that how it was always going to end? Should he have seen it coming from the beginning? Was he the only one who thought it would be you and him all the way until the very end?

Maybe he was more of a hopeless romantic than he thought.

It was the way she had called him a phase that she hoped you’d grow out of. That she had let you keep this relationship for long enough, but now that you’d graduated - now that you’d be starting a life for yourself - she couldn’t sit back and watch you throw it all away for a boy who could never give you what you deserved.

It was the way she told him she didn’t want history to repeat itself. How she didn’t want to subject you to the same fate that she and your father had to suffer through. How she had left your dad because in the end, he wasn’t enough for her and you, even though you were a child and you deserved to grow up with a father and with love.

She said the same thing would happen to you and Jungkook, because you were meant for greater things and he was not meant to deserve you. She made it clear that he would always hold you back, that he would never amount to even a fraction of what you should receive in life.

“If you love her, you would let her go.”

Cliché, right? Like the kind of stuff you only ever see in movies? Well, movies have to take inspiration from somewhere.

He thought about his own mother then, and about how people could have such different ways of showing love. He believed that your mother loved you, and he still believes that. She wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of seeing him if she didn’t care about you. She wanted the best for you, and that wasn’t him.

She didn’t have to tell him to keep it a secret from you, because he wouldn’t have told you regardless. He was well aware of how strained your relationship with your mother was, and letting you know would only drive it closer to the edge. She knew he wouldn’t tell you. He loved you, and that was the one thing that she could count on.

Just sitting there in that café, Jungkook felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room, even though he was surrounded by the other patrons and their lively laughter as they chatted away. The pitiful way that your mother kept looking at him forced him to learn what it was like to feel truly worthless.

The pity in her eyes only intensified when he couldn’t even say a single word in response, couldn’t think of anything to defend himself.

Silence meant agreement, and that was what he chose. Jungkook - the naive boy that he was - stopped believing in you. He’d believed her instead.

He was just a kid, what else was he supposed to do? 

She was your own flesh and blood, and he knew nothing could ever replace that. He would rather let you hate him, resent him for the rest of your life, than let you lose your family.

That day, he lied to you for the first time ever, saying he couldn’t come over because he was tired. The sunflowers he bought for you just hours prior ended up dying on his windowsill.

He wouldn’t see you again for a few more days, then for months afterward.

July was supposed to represent a blossoming summer, but all he could remember was the dreadful promise of a winter that would inevitably come.

You call his name when he takes too long to answer. “Tell me.”

“I love you,” he merely says. His hand brushes your cheek.

You frown, despite the way the three words make your chest tingle.

“I love you,” he says it again, trying to ease the furrow between your brows.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I’m sorry.”

His voice is soft, barely even audible, but it’s this gentleness that makes his words ricochet, ringing in your ears loudly like a gun going off in the quiet of your room.

Again with the apologies.

Fuck this.

It’s hard to take it to heart when you don’t even know what he’s apologizing for.

You gave Jungkook the chance to explain himself, but if he doesn’t take it, then that’s not on you. There isn’t much else that you can do.

You swallow hard, then shove him off of you so you could get out of the bed. Your legs instantly tremble as you attempt to stand, but you soldier on as you put on your bra and underwear, then grab your dress from where it lays abandoned on the floor. You’re shaking, but it’s difficult to determine if it’s because you’re angry, or cold without his warmth nearby.

He’s quick to his feet too, rushing toward you before you could leave.

“Don’t touch me,” you hiss when he reaches for your arm. He doesn’t listen, because when has Jeon Jungkook ever fucking listened?

“Y/N, wait-”

“Wait for what?! I asked you a simple question and you can’t even answer me.”

He runs a hand over his face frustratedly, clearly torn over something. He holds your angered gaze, but the way he looks at you is much milder, gentler even if it’s equally frustrated. “I’m trying to protect you.”

You don’t know if it’s the wrong answer or not. You just know that in this moment, it irritates you to no end.

“Oh my god,” you gasp mockingly. “Someone is trying to kill me.”

“What?”

“Someone is trying to kill me. Someone is waiting outside that door right now, waiting for me to come out so they can kill me. Holy fucking shit, I’m about to be assassinated.”

“Y/N, I’m serious.”

There’s that burning sensation behind your eyes again. “And you think I’m not? What do you mean you’re trying to protect me? Protect me from what? Do you think this is a fucking k-drama? Jesus Christ,” you scoff harshly. “What do you want from me? What the actual fuck do you want?”

Jungkook aims for you again, and in an attempt to ward him off, your swinging fist inadvertently collides with his chest. The dress falls to the floor again, laying next to your feet, that useless piece of fabric.

It probably doesn’t do much damage to him, but he’s a bit startled regardless. So are you, if you’re being honest. But you do it again, and surprisingly, he lets you.

“You coward.” You shove hard at his chest, making him stumble backward. “You unbelievable asshole. You fucked me, you said you loved me, and you still can’t tell me why you left me.” 

He allows you to push him until his back is pressed against the wall. And even then, you don’t relent. Your fists continue beating against his chest as you start sobbing, spilling ‘I hate you’s in between so many expletives it could make his grandmother faint.

He might bruise in the morning.

You hope he bruises in the morning.

The least Jungkook could do is bruise for you.

You want him to curse him out for so many things - for loving you, for leaving you, for not even having the balls to tell you why he broke your heart. For coming back to remind you that you still love him. For proving that he still has you in the palm of his hands, and every twitch of his finger can make you feel like the walls are crumbling down on you.

But even as you tell him how much you hate him, you’re still thinking: Come back. I don’t want to keep losing you. Come back to me.

Because he’s the only person who can hurt you like this. When you think about him, it used to make you so depressed that you could hardly function. There’s no other way to put it to make it sound less pathetic. That’s just how it is.

You shouldn’t have agreed to this weekend, shouldn’t have been nice to him, shouldn’t have let him convince you not to think about it. You shouldn’t have opened the door for him in the first place, because there was always a part of you that knew he could get under your skin so easily just like that.

This wasn’t your second chance at holding onto him. It wasn’t a do-over. It was a re-enactment.

The years haven’t made you wiser, that much is clear.

You don’t know how long this goes on for, but at some point, you begin to wear yourself out. Your movements start to slow and the energy to violently sob leaves your body until you’re nearly collapsing. Jungkook catches you when you don’t have the strength to hold yourself up anymore. Why are you always so fucking helpless?

“You just…” Your voice gets caught at the end of a sob. This is rock bottom all over again. “You make me so sad.”

You grasp his arm weakly, feeling like your own lungs are failing you. You can’t breathe. It’s too much, too infinitely humiliating. He’s doing this to you again, and this time you have to shoulder most of the blame, because you are the one that enabled your own heartbreak for the second time.

You’re still crying, and you hate that this is the first time he’s ever seen you cry like this.

“I’m trying to protect you,” he says firmly, looking at you like he’s trying so hard not to break down alongside you. “Please, I’m so sorry.” The words come out as a whisper now. You can feel the tremble in his voice and the shake of his hands where they hold you. His big bambi eyes - the usual home of constellations - now house tears that threaten to spill onto his supple cheeks. “Please. What can I do to make you believe me?”

It’s those stupid fucking eyes. It’s your stupid fucking self.

“You need to tell me.” Your tears keep on falling no matter how much he tries to wipe them away. “I can’t take it anymore.”

“It’ll make things worse,” he tells you, his voice cracking as he does. He sounds like he means it, and maybe he does believe that whatever he’s hiding from you will only hurt you more. It almost has you caving, but you can’t do this a second time. You’re exhausted, both physically and emotionally. In the morning, you’ll think about how this is all so dramatic, the way you’re acting right now. The most k-drama-esque thing that has ever happened to you. But in the moment, you just feel like someone plunged a knife in your chest, and they keep twisting it, twisting and twisting,...

In the end, you decide that it’s a risk you’ll have to take, because nothing can be more painful than the absolute hell he’s putting you through. He’ll never understand how utterly excruciating it is to experience this kind of heartbreak.

“If you don’t tell me now, I won’t be able to survive you again.”

up next...

our beloved summer (08) ⏤ aka the JK centric chapter

all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted september 30, 2023]

[oftenderweapons]

Down The Rabbit Hole | KSJ

Pairing: Seokjin x reader (nicknamed Fawn)

Wordcount: 12.5k

Genre: one shot, pwp, smut, fluff, only mild angst, fwb au (?) kinda(?)?, divorced! seokjin, dilf!seokjin

Rating: 18+, minors please do not read or interact

Synopsis: Seokjin has been meeting Fawn at The Rabbit Hole for a while now. A place of debauchery and foregone inhibitions, and yet only one rule would not budge. Will Fawn finally have a taste of the forbidden fruit?

Warnings: DILF!Seokjin (it's a trigger warning in and of itself), oral sex (female receiving, attempt at male receiving), masturbation (female receiving), degradation kink, corruption kink, handcuffs, sex toys (vaginal sphere), dry humping, unprotected sex, cockwarming, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, breast slapping, voyeurism & exhibitionism. Mentions of divorce procedures, mentions of Seokjin's three precious daughters. Brief cameo of our lovely darlings Namjoon & Mia.

As always, thanking the magical girlie that made this fic a bit more coherent @nervous-moon and the special friends that made me get here. Also, a special thank you to past me, who persevered and got off birth control for this fic LOL

As always, please remember that showing some love to fics will power authors through the major struggles of this platform and will eventually make them write bigger, better, bolder fics 💕

You’ve known Seokjin for two months. He’s stunning, he’s smart, he’s friendly and adorably chirpy — before the games begin.

Here's my masterlist, enjoy you spicy little nuggets

Read more of this AU | MYG | KNJ

You’ve known Seokjin for two months. He’s stunning, he’s smart, he’s friendly and adorably chirpy — before the games begin. 

Once you’re in the room, the sweet father-of-three turns into a man with no restraints. He has an appetite for all things cunning and controlling. 

He tells you how to do things. He tells you when, for how long. Harder, faster, rougher, deeper. 

He always asks for more, 

He is insatiable and ruthless. 

However, despite what that introduction might make it sound, there’s so much more of him you haven’t had: all your previous encounters were only foreplay. 

His list of previous inhibitions was so long that in two three-hour-long sessions you hadn’t yet tackled anything regarding his dick inside your vagina — truly a shame, since that’s a perfectly beautiful, perfectly thick, perfectly long dick, and you would know since you’ve acquainted with it through your hands, mouth and boobs. 

Seokjin is the most promising man you’ve never had sex with; that is, you’ve had sex with plenty of mediocre men, and a couple good ones, you’ve double checked handfuls of men on the streets, but he’s by far the one you can bet will give you the ride of your life. You don’t know why, you just know.

And maybe, if you’re lucky enough, that will happen tonight. 

“Here’s my pretty fawn,” he says once he notices you at a corner table, out of the main floor where people are starting to mingle. He kisses the too of your head. “How were these weeks apart?”

“Hi,” you tell him, and from the little somersault of your rib cage, you can tell the distance did make the heart grow fonder. “It was chaotic, but I survived.”

“You’re a tough cookie, Fawn. By now you should know there’s nothing you can’t overcome if you put your mind to it,” he says, proud, reassuring. 

It’s the same tone he uses for ‘you take it so well” and ‘that’s my golden girl’ and ‘come on, Fawn, just one more, sweetheart’.

You melt. You know you melt, and your body betrays you because you can feel the heaviness in your lower belly, and you can tell that your core will be coated in wetness in about eight seconds. 

“As for my past few days, I’ve been busy, as usual.”

“How are the girls?” you ask, eager to imagine more bits of them. 

“Lily is turning ten next week, as I told you. Rose is getting better at biking, and soon we’ll be able to go for short outings in public together, And then darling Daisy has just called a truce with spinach so we have added one more ingredient to our weekly rotation.” As Seokjin talks about his daughters, something in his face lights up and you can imagine the man he must be outside these walls, far from the reign of debauchery he slips into once every other week. A dedicated man, committed, domestic, devoted. He smiles when he talks about his girls, his whole world brightens, like they were his personal constellation showing him the way. 

“Did you recover from our last session?” he asks, concerned, meek, respectful. He is so kind to you, always. 

“I did…” You keep it vague because telling him that you've been laying on your back, fucking yourself with your largest toy, gasping and hiccuping his name doesn't feel like a productive angle for an answer. Not the kind of answer you want to give him in public anyways. 

“Any notes about what we did last time? Anything relevant we should renegotiate?” 

I want us to walk through the door tonight and I want you to throw me on the bed, bend me over, lift my skirt and fuck me straight up, because you are the reason I'm going commando under this effing tight dress, you try to tell him with your eyes, the tilt of your head, the little lick of your lips and the light bite at your lower one. 

“No, nothing relevant, really.” 

He stares at your mouth for a hot second, and you can only hope he's thinking about the last time he's come on it. 

“So you want…” He hesitates as he thinks about the next step. “You wanna keep this foreplay only.”

You cock an eyebrow at him, then you take a sip of your drink, and click your tongue a couple times, as if trying to savour the wine. “You're the one in command. You know that.” 

“I command you when you're naked. And you're dressed now, alas.” He cocks an eyebrow right back at you, mirroring your sarcastic snare. “And this is a matter of consent and limits, which means we're equals right now. The games haven't yet begun, Fawn.”

You look around, as if the other clients could possibly help you in this situation. 

You want him, you're dying to have him, and if he could bend you over, spank you and fuck you right over one of the entrance tables, you'd let him. 

You'd probably also let him come inside, or do other slightly demeaning acts to humiliate you. 

“We can play it however it lays, no pressure.” That's what you tell him, really trying not to betray your true intentions. 

“Do you, or do you not?” he asks, and you do feel pressured. 

“What do you want me to say?” You provoke him, staring him down. “Because this is sounding like you have indeed an answer you want to hear from me.” 

He shakes his head, exasperated. “Fawn. You don't usually struggle with telling me what you want. You want foreplay or you want us to fuck?” 

“Either is fine. We'll see that later.” You down more of your drink and he stares at your throat as you swallow. You catch him staring and you feel heat creep to your cheeks, but you’re not embarrassed, rather pleased with his distraction. 

Too bad you’re not him and you can’t tell he’s been sizzling with want for days. He’s been separated for years now, but with the divorce practice being completed in a few weeks, he’d been more tense than usual. He knows he’s doing the right thing leaving his marriage behind, however the idea of raising three daughters alone, and giving his ex-wife the chance to start the kind of life she’s been too ashamed to pursue is terrifying. 

Lily, Rose and Daisy are the joy of his life, but soon Lily will enter adolescence and her mother will be there for her, sure, but he’s been the one consistently raising them for the past five years, almost turning into a stay-at-home dad for them, while Ara was busy rebuilding her career and travelling and saving money to afford moving out by herself. 

He supported her. Their marriage had ended for all the best — though most painful —  reasons: they didn’t love each other anymore, not as partners at least. He could tell she was no longer happy, she hadn’t been since Rose had been born. Daisy was probably the last straw. He’d rather have his girls having a happy mother than have a miserable spouse for himself and a mediocre parent for his children. And he knew the girls would learn the right lesson from this: you can only be loved right when the one you love knows how to love themselves. 

Plus, he could tell he hadn’t been loving Ara right for a while. He could bring himself to stay loyal to her and respect her and be there for her; still, he also knew he owed himself actual happiness, and he would be a coward if he refused to go look for it because he was afraid of not finding it, or getting hurt in the process. 

And now you’ve entered the picture. He’s seen a bunch of people before you, but he knew they weren’t quite right — he’d even issued post-session feedback where he stated he didn’t want to be matched again with two of the women he’d spent the night with. 

He’d entered the Rabbit Hole with the purpose of some light-hearted fun with other adults who, like him, had already seen a fair share of life and could also have the same mature and intellectual approach towards intimacy. 

A friend of his had driven him here after a particularly bad date with a woman almost twelve years younger than him who seemed more interested in being the girls’ mother than his girlfriend first. 

Being honest, he’d spotted you the first time he’d seen you at the Rabbit Hole, but he’d never pursued you because he believed in the system matching him according to his profile. He assumed you wanted something off-limits to him — maybe you were into getting your partner tied up, or leashed like a pet, or entirely enslaved — but apparently it was just a matter of letting the match play itself. 

It happened around his fifth or sixth party: he had entered the foyer thinking he would once more spend his pregame staring at you from the opposite table, drinking, getting riled up at the thought of you kneeling before him, his dick in your mouth. He had fixed his trousers and headed to the room at the sound of the bell, and a few minutes later, as the lock turned and the door opened, he had found you there, with your pretty doll mouth and your plush cheeks and your round, doe eyes, innocence personified. 

“What are you thinking?” you ask him, your fingers tracing his elbow, calling for his attention. 

He shakes his head. “I’m thinking of the first time we matched.”

You smile, then catch your lower lip between your teeth. “Interesting.”

He takes hold of your hand, so gentle, then caresses your knuckles, the touch as shy as a whisper. “What did you think of it?”

“The first time I saw you?” you ask, curious and surprised at his question. 

He nods and you giggle, embarrassed. “I had caught you staring a few times before. I was intrigued.”

He gives a bright, although secret smile, and his fingers flirt with yours, dancing in between each other. The mere touch of his hand against your own is turning you on. 

“I was wondering if I’d ever match with you. If we didn’t because you were into hardcore stuff, or maybe you wanted to dominate and I was not… I’m not submissive.” His eyes play hide and seek with yours, as if he were ashamed. 

“Well… That gives…” You let him hang in that pause for a few seconds, then give him the word, “It’s a new perspective.” You can feel him exhale in relief at that. “I wanted to see what you were into too. Too bad we were too shy to approach each other.”

“But apparently we were meant to meet.”

“Just a matter of time…” you tease him. 

That night, when you’d first met, you’d clicked immediately. In less than fifteen minutes, you were kissing, and within that first half hour, you’d never been happier to be naked with a man. 

He was attentive, touching and kissing places that almost no one had ever paid attention to. He tickled the back of your knees, and pressed the plush petals of his lips to the arch of your feet. He nipped at the edge of your ribs, and licked at the small dip at your hip, where the sinew of your quad attaches to the bone of your hip crest. He tugged at your earlobe with his teeth and dipped the tip of his tongue at the twin hollows at the base of your spine. 

When they talk about being worshipped like you were the only woman left on the face of earth, that’s probably what they mean. 

It made you really generous — the kind of generous that makes you end up on your knees with a very messy mouth. 

It was surprising, how you went on for one full hour dragging pleasure out of each other in an almost torturing way, so close to him entering you, and never doing so. 

At the end of that, you’d suggested staying till morning, but he’d explained how he was a single dad and he really should be there in the morning. 

“And that second time?” you tell him. 

He blushes to the tip of his ears and it makes you giggle sweetly. 

You’d entered the room already fully immersed in your role. You’d called him sir, made it clear you were his efficient, loyal assistant who’d been nursing a crush on him for so long. And he’d been playing along phenomenally, barking orders at you, and fucking your mouth, praising you so sweetly while mascara tears ran down your cheeks — just to draw a line when it came to him using you to cheat on his wife. 

The fantasy had been brusquely interrupted when you realised he could actually be cheating — he was a father after all, from what you’d understood. He was quick to explain he’d been separated and that was the best decision he and his ex-wife had taken; and he’d shown his interest in your game by returning to it by saying how his sweet secretary had come into his life to make him realise he’d never truly had passion with his wife. 

“You were surprising,” he admits. “Unexpectedly resourceful.”

Tonight the bell can’t ring soon enough. You just want to drag him to a dark corner and cover him in you. You want to rub yourself against him, all over him. You want to see him covered in your own wetness, and the lack of panties is only making you more sensitive. 

“Would you do it again? A little roleplay?” you ask him. 

He arches both eyebrows. “I thought I was clear about it. Adamantly, yes.”

“Hi there,” you hear, and turn around to be faced with two familiar faces. Right there, remnants of your third encounter with Seokjin. 

Namjoon and his Mia, the latest hype of the club. They’d been performing together for some months now, and everyone said their sessions were something else entirely. You and Seokjin had started your third encounter by watching them in the voyeur area; there, they could perform within the three walls of a private room and a large two-way mirror, behind which people could watch those who consensually exhibited their encounters.

“Lovely to see you, Mia,” you hugged the woman and kissed her on both cheeks. It could have been awkward to interact with someone you’ve watched having sex, but with her — maybe also thanks to the environment of the club — it was liberating, almost exciting.

Meanwhile Namjoon and Seokjin shook hands, starting to chat with ease. 

“So, how’s it going with your wet dream prince?” she asks, knowing perfectly well how long you’ve been pining for Seokjin. “Is he worth the hype?”

Your expression could be the definition of ‘the cat that got the cream’. 

“Girl, tone it down a notch,” Mia says playfully, hitting your arm. “Is it getting official or is it a no work all play kind of game?”

Your grin tones down a little. “He’s a father, Mia. He has obligations.” 

Her face looks entirely sympathetic. “I see. But there’s nothing wrong with asking, you know? If you’re interested…”

“I’ve got no interest in getting my heart broken,” you say, your tone final. “He needs to focus on his girls and only wants to relax and be selfish when he comes in here. I don’t want to be a burden.”

Mia shrugs and gives you a little curl of her lip. “I don’t think he sees you as a burden, but you should check that out. In person.”

“There’s other stuff I want to see in person, but it’s been…” You lower your voice to a whisper. “We’ve only kinda foreplayed so far.”

Mia tips her head to the side a little, as if confused. “Well. That's interesting. I mean, foreplay is the main act, if you ask me about it. I think—” She turns to the side and addresses Namjoon, “Darling, what would you think if we only did foreplay, no sex?” 

You feel your entire head explode with shame, and you assume Seokjin is having a similar reaction. 

“I would think you really like foreplay, or — given that this context calls for transgression — you've probably been raised to think that foreplay is taboo. Maybe it's something you've been deprived of, and here you want to claim it back.” Namjoon's hand lands on the small of Mia's back and from the way her eyes roll closed and her lips part softly, you can tell that his touch has a certain influence on her. “I know I don't usually deprive you of it, quite the contrary, but if it's affecting you so gravely tonight, then I might as well deliver.”

You look at Seokjin and he's giving you a certain look that you can't quite interpret. 

“You know, if my partner only wanted foreplay, I would simply assume that they really like it,” adds Seokjin, his gaze rolling off of you as he continues. “And that maybe sex is a meaningful experience to them, and they really want to work out all the kinks in it.” 

You stare at him, entirely too surprised at his comment, but he's looking at Namjoon this time. 

The man is giving him a sombre, polished look and you understand his appeal — too bad you've been captured in Seokjin’s orbit a long time ago. 

Within that expectant pause, the bell finally rings. 

Namjoon can't put his hands on Mia fast enough. The woman is thrown over his shoulder as soon as the bell stops ringing, and he's taking large strides towards the private wing. 

“Guess tonight is not for show,” you murmur, then turn to Seokjin. 

You're afraid he's going to chastise you for your confession to Mia, but he doesn't. He's giving you a blank look, his mind impenetrable. 

For a moment you think he's going to deny you, and frankly you wouldn't be too mad. He would be entirely too right, after you violated his trust and his privacy. 

“Seokjin, I—” 

“Behind closed doors, Fawn.” And he leaves you there. 

If you had any chance of going through this unpunished, that chance withered right about now — or rather, a minute ago with the ring of the bell. That's the signal for his personality switch and he's just flipped from cute and quirky father to demanding and domineering sex god. 

You watch him enter the private wing alone, and you can only hope for your room key to be matching his. 

Five agonising minutes later, you realise it does, and it takes you only half a second to realise that you're tragically unprepared for what's waiting for you. 

“On your knees,” he orders as soon as you walk through the door. “We're gonna bruise them tonight, Fawn.” 

You obey, any objection dead on the verge of your lips. 

“I thought I'd been clear about my intentions last time.” 

He had been, fairly so. He'd addressed the foreplay situation and he'd planned on going all the way, which was still sort of new to him, especially considering that he'd been with only three women except his ex wife. And then again, most of that stuff wasn't too daring an experience. He felt a little under pressure with you, and he knew he couldn't quite yet control himself when it came to seeing you naked, much less touching you. 

He had been taking his sweet time when his phone had started blaring. He'd taken five, maybe six seconds to understand what was happening, and then he'd dashed off you, picking up the phone. 

You'd been too confused to understand, and even when he explained, it took you five lonely and cold minutes abandoned alone on the bed to realise he'd left. 

Rose had apparently caught lice from a classmate, the nanny was on the verge of burning the house to the ground and Lily and Daisy were quite panicked by what was going on. Before you could get dressed, he was already on his way home doing damage control. 

“I have responsibilities, Fawn. You know that. I wouldn't have answered that phone call, and I would have taken proper care of you if it had been an option.” He lowers to you on the ground, pleased with the way your eyes look like dark beads of obsidian in the softly lit room. 

He was probably the one who asked for the fireplace to be lit and for a velvety alcove to be prepared right in front of it. 

“And I meant it when I said I wanted something special with you.” He grips your chin, angling your face so that the light from the fireplace can caress the apple of your cheek in a way that makes it most biteable. “I meant it when I said I want to do this right. We can have that now.” 

You lick your lips, trying to smoothen the ugly feeling of a dry mouth. It's hard to think and talk at the same time. 

“I appreciate that you're there for your girls, I just wish you hadn't left me hanging.” You sit on your heels, then shift on all fours and crawl a flirty half step his way, your lashes like expensive and seductive fans of ostrich feathers luring him in, caressing the most tender spots of his body with your gaze. 

You're pleased to notice he's entirely charmed by your allure. 

“I won't deny you tonight, fawn,” he says. “I might as well give it to you right away.” His hand dives for your hair and grips it at the base, giving two subtle and suggestive tugs. You feel a low purr emerge from your throat and he smiles. “Welcome back, my naughty girl.” 

You crawl one more step in the direction he drew you to, and he understands that you got his message. He rises to his feet, then dives his fingers once more in your hair and leads you to the plush lair sprawled in front of the fire.

“Such an obedient little pet,” he praises you. “I wonder what you got for me tonight.” 

He's used to sexy little lingerie numbers — stuff with lots of lace and lots of ribbons. What he's not expecting is for you to drop your chest to the floor, arch your ass up in the air and expose your naked, blooming folds. “I thought I might surprise you for the night.”

Seokjin takes a few seconds to realise there's no g-string, no thong, no wicked contraption waiting to trick him.

Just naked truth, wet, warm skin, laying there for him to claim. 

“Naughty indeed.” He kneels behind you, and he's tempted to rub himself against you and slip inside you after you've begged and prayed and cried for a while; however, he's under the impression that's exactly the game you want him to play.

So he simply sinks his teeth into your ass cheek, then licks the bite away.

“Stay right there.” And he disappears. 

Footsteps echo around the room, then you hear the slide of a drawer. 

He's probably choosing his instrument for the night, and you're aching to turn around and see what he's inspecting. 

You'd also pay good money to know what he felt when he found you naked. 

You'd mostly pay all the money to know what it takes to lose a man like him. 

But that's another story, one that you don't intend to follow, especially since Seokjin is returning to you. 

“We're gonna train you for me.” He kneels behind you and the feel of something extremely cold against your folds causes you to arch your spine up to the ceiling, your pelvis moving away from the sensation.

Seokjin, however, is merciless. With his forearm braced against the middle of your spine, he forces you to arch your spine back down, your entrance bared to him in a lewd, unmistakable way. 

“I want to fuck you with my tongue. You look like dessert covered in icing. You're gleaming with arousal.” And as he talks, he keeps sliding the sphere up and down your folds, your skin so disturbingly sensitive. 

At some point, your hips escape your control and you tilt your ass further up to the ceiling, chasing Seokjin's hand in hope he'll offer you some reprieve. 

But he doesn't. 

Instead he slides something warm and thin inside you, that wiggles and then unfortunately, sadly retreats. 

You only have the time for a hiccup of disappointment before he returns to toy with your folds. 

Seokjin watches you writhe as he sucks on the finger he just extracted from your cunt. It makes him feel powerful, but most importantly, it makes him feel alive. It makes him feel wanted. 

It makes him feel like his own needs matter, that he comes first, which is not an ordinary feeling for a father of three. 

He loves this about you: you put his needs first and you don't make him feel bad about it — that is, he doesn't feel bad about coming first with you. Maybe that's also the reason why he's reluctant about introducing you to his family life. He doesn't need a nanny, or a cook or a housekeeper. He just wants someone he can enjoy those crumbles of spare time he has for himself. 

He freezes. 

Someone to date. 

Realisation is like a mirror shattering to the floor, each shard reflecting one different aspect of him. Father, ex-husband, manager, employer and employee, overachiever, knight-in-shining-armour, but also, somewhere, needy, dark overlord. 

He is all of that. And he is curious about seeing whichever many ways you can stand by his side in every role. 

“Seokjin,” you whisper, barely a moan. You try to lift your hand from where it fell before, abandoned on the lush carpet below you, but it lands again, and grips whatever it can as he slips one sphere inside. 

“There, Fawn. What is it?” He chuckles and the sound that follows — the silvery tinkling of a belt — is like mockery to your ears. 

“Bet this isn’t enough, huh?” He stares at you, at your position on the floor, cheek pressed to the carpet, dress pulled up, and shakes his head. He’d never have thought he could enjoy this, and yet… He loves this. He’s hard from this. 

He kneels down, rotulae hitting the floor with a mildly disturbing thud. He rolls up the hem of his button down, dick so hard it’s reaching his navel. He grips your hip and pulls you closer, the heat of your ass slamming against his hips. 

You gasp. It’s finally happening, you tell yourself. 

“Why so quiet, darling?” he says, bending over, speaking against the shell of your ear. “I thought you’d at least thank me, you know?”

Rubbing your ass against him gives you a rough estimation of how he’d fit against you, inside you. 

He teases his tip against your entrance, slow and wet. The sound of it is slick and lewd, and he can swear it’s the best he’s ever had. 

“Please,” you manage to squeak out, so pathetic, and even needier than that. 

He makes a weird sound in his throat, like a muffled groan, and it makes you even wetter. As your muscles clench, you feel the sphere inside you readjust, massaging a different corner of your inner walls, and it steals a hum of pleasure out of you, a guttural sound, something as animalistic as your current position. 

“Just the tip,” you beg, your voice weak, frayed at the edges. 

You expect him to mock you and deprive you, but the heat of him corrects its trajectory and it’s right up against your centre. 

“How can I not…” he murmurs. “You’re here. Ass up like a bitch in heat.”

Heat bubbles to your cheeks and your back arches even further, offering yourself up. You’re even more embarrassed, but there’s no need to run from him. 

Not after you’ve seen his eyes flicker, wicked, as he cleaned your orgasm from his chin with the back of his hand; not after he’s stuck his fingers in your mouth, his cum still dripping from them, in an attempt to quiet you down from screaming his name through your orgasm. 

“I can’t wait to see how dirtier you can get,” he tells you, then grabs your earlobe with his teeth, tugging a little. 

Saying you grind yourself against him is the largest understatement you could ever concoct. You hump in the most unmistakable way you can. “I can’t wait to feel you inside me. How much longer do you want me to—?”

And he dips in. Just dips, really. Only the tip. “God. Tight,” he gasps. 

You try to push yourself up against him, make him sink deeper, faster. You want to ride him. You want to be the one doing the fucking. 

He can lay back and enjoy, for all that matters — you’re sure you can bounce on his dick until your thighs cramp and you collapse on his chest. And at that point, if he hasn’t come yet, you’re pretty sure you can roll over and he can take over.

“Too greedy, my pretty fawn.” 

And he moves back. Away. 

“You’re gonna make me fold, Fawn,” he whispers. “Too soon.”

And he stands. And there’s that silvery tickling again. 

“No,” you cry out. You turn and rise, just in time to catch him tucking his shirt in. 

Your ass plops down to rest on your heels and you feel tears of frustration bubble up against your lower lashes. “No, please.”

“Too soon, sweet cheeks. Now get back in position.”

You frown. “But—” 

“Fawn, darling.” He gives you a patient look, so sweet, so understanding. 

God, he must be such a good dad, you think for half a second. “But Jin—”

“You know I’m gonna take care of you. Now, if you do as I tell you, we can get this—”

Something vicious snarls inside you. You’re not sure where it comes from, but you bark out, “No.”

Seokjin arches one beautiful eyebrow. “Come again, darling?”

“I said no.”

“Bend over, Fawn.”

You can barely keep a straight face as you finally say, “Make me.”

Seokjin shakes his head. He knows he’s gonna love this. “That's it.” On the inside he's glowing with joy, but he cannot show that, he must punish you. 

Except he knows you love this too. 

He grabs your hair and moves you so that he can make sure you're not going to hurt yourself if you fall: he will be cuffing your hands behind your back, which means you wouldn’t be able to stop your fall if you were to lose your balance, and he needs to be careful.

You're still kneeling on the ground when he lowers himself and uses his own torso to push your own to the plush carpet in front of the fireplace. 

“And now stay. You're playing with fire, Fawn.” 

You feel him step back and remove himself, and you're tempted to disregard his petty request and follow him to the drawer. 

Except you don't, because you know you're already getting what you wanted. And you can still rouse him later if he's not sufficiently harsh. 

“God to know you can still follow a basic, easy order, darling.” The first cuff snaps around your left wrist, and he slips two fingers between your flesh and the metal to make sure it isn't too tight on you. He repeats the same procedure with the other wrist, and the gentle way he checks makes you want to submit immediately. 

He suspends the scene just enough to kiss your palm before caressing the curve of your bottom. “If you want to safeword, remember it's your right, and you can do so at any moment,” he reminds you, practical and kind. 

“I will if I need to,” you say, reassuring him, but also trying to move on to the actual scene. 

“Good. Cause I want you to remember about tonight every time you walk or sit in the next three days.” 

Your stomach knots, awaiting, and you wiggle your ass in the air, your torso still disappointingly clothed. “All I hear is empty threats.” 

That's when the first slap hits. 

It's Seokjin's hand against your ass, but it's harsh and angry, and you know you're going to get exactly what you wanted. 

The impact makes your insides clench, and the sphere shifts against your inner walls. 

You hum in pleasure, your fingers twitching as you try to make the sensation bearable. 

It's truly torture. You're wet, and this weight inside you keeps massaging you, taunting you suggestively. 

“This what you want?” Seokjin asks you, and you nod, knowing that you can tell him, you can trust him. That he will give you more of it because this is all about trusting each other, and giving each other pleasure, and just—

“Fawn. I swear I'm gonna fuck you tonight. But for the love of fuck I need to take the edge off myself or I'm gonna be pathetic.” 

You're currently spooning on all fours, you propped on your knees, breastbone and cheek, while he’s caging you in from above, his thighs bracketing yours, one of his arms pinned just beside your shoulder, the other hand free to roam. 

And right now it lands right on your pubic bone, the ball of his palm resting right against your pelvis. The moment he starts drawing slow circles on your clit, finding just the right spot, your body gives in, and some grinding resumes. 

“You're so fucking hard,” you tell him, and you know just how banal your statement is, but historically, you're not usually smart when he's coercing orgasms out of you, especially with his fingers. 

You grow dumb. 

Your brain can only focus on sensation. 

And there's the sphere situation happening too, just to complicate this further. 

“I told you I need to take the edge off.” 

“You can come on me, you know?”

He chuckles. “Oh darling, that one you'd made clear already.” He registers your sharp inhale and moves more delicately. “Do you need me to slow down?” 

It makes you snort a little petty laugh. “No, it's just—” You release an exhale and move against him more openly, unbridled and luxuriant. “It's strange with the sphere.”

“I just want you to be all relaxed and warmed up when I slip inside you,” he tells you. 

“And I think I'll have to get you some kegel balls. So you can train during the week, when we don't meet.” He kisses your spine and your eyes roll closed. 

All you need is the sensations he's giving you, your body awakening piece by piece. It's like every molecule of you is finding new meaning, new depth, new sensitivity. 

You've never been so aware of each muscle pulling taut. 

“Seokjin,” you whisper, and he hums, he realises you called him and he replies simply, but neither of you can really string words together at this point. 

“Jin… If you—” You're trying to connect word after word, looking for meaning, but your tongue is uncooperative, and you can't quite make sounds into words. 

You want him to keep going. You really do. 

But you also need to take one or fifteen breaths because this is getting too good — maybe too important too. Because you want him now, but it also dawns on you, quite rudely, that you want him all the time. That you've been thinking about him too much lately, even when it's a silly sweet nothing like ordering pizza or washing the sheets. 

What kind of pizza does he like most? 

Would he like the smell of my sheets? Would he find them too light? Too warm? Not soft enough? 

Does he shower warm or cold? 

He moans your name and you shake your thoughts awake — as awake and aware as you can be underneath him.

“Are you close?” he asks, and you know you are, but you can't quantify how long it's going to take you. You were closer for sure before your thoughts had wandered towards the day-to-day life of him.

It's so strange that you would need to focus to stay tethered to your own pleasure; however, quite disappointingly, that's the way it seems. 

“I don't know,” you tell him, not bothering to hide your perplexity. 

“Okay,” he says calmly, then he sucks at the curve of your neck, where it meets your shoulder. “I'll be good,” he says, like a promise. 

You're not used to this amount of patience from him, to this pliability. 

He lifts off of you, his thigh still aligned with yours as his torso separates from your back, then suddenly a liquid coldness spreads over your ass cheeks, and you feel him shudder. 

You turn, curiosity picked by that unexpected feeling, and you spot a bottle of lubricant in your peripherals. Makes sense. 

His hands immediately land on your glutes, spreading the liquid, and he hisses as his dick meets the cold. 

Soon, however, the lube is warmed by the heat of your own skin and he finds himself grinding against you, needy and rough. He grabs at your hips guiding you as you move up against him. 

“Touch yourself, Fawn,” he orders, and you don't make him tell you twice. 

The idea of him using your body, and finding pleasure in it, and marking it as his own arouses you desperately.

You want to be his, and you want to pleasure him. You want to be the thought he conjures about next time he's had a rough day and simply wants to jerk off. You want to be the one he dreams about while he's lost in his huge bed, humping a pillow in his sleep. You want to be the reason he's late in the morning because he caught a thought of you in the shower and he couldn't keep his hands to himself. 

Ultimately, you want to be the reason why this accomplished, bright man gets a little messy once in a while.

You want to be the motive behind his little crimes. You want to be his gateway to temporary thoughtlessness. You want him to be as human, as fallible, as exhausted, as despicable as he needs to be and never allows himself to be. 

You wish to liberate him. 

“I'm gonna—” The words die on his lips as he finally spills against you, your orgasm once more incumbent but also far removed, as if that very close destination could only be reached by an impractically long journey. 

You hear him come, disappointed by the lack of closeness between the two of you, by the fact that this position doesn't allow you to kiss his mouth, or quieten him down, or watch him frantically reach for your breast with his lips so he can muffle his cries against your chest. 

“I thought I had more in me,” he says. “I’m sorry.” 

You assume he's referring to this night. Maybe he's done. Maybe he's not thinking about you at all. 

Maybe he just wants to be serviced, and he's realised just now, and you're on your way to be dismissed.

“It's okay,” you tell him, but you're pretty sure your disappointment bled through the words. Your logical brain is telling you that he’s just referring to coming this fast and not dealing with you first, but you’ve discovered you’re not strong on logic when it comes to him. 

Too bad you can’t tell what he’s thinking. He’s embarrassed, and breathless, and truly madly deeply blaming himself for putting you through such a sorry mess. 

Such a disappointment. 

He wants to make it up to you. And he starts doing so with slow, gentle kisses on your nape, a gentle caress of his fingertips moving your hair to the side. 

Dammit, he loves your hair. So soft, and always smelling like vanilla. 

It makes him want to keep you on his lap all the time, so he can dive his nose in it when he’s feeling stressed, inhale you and get high from it. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he says simply, studying the viola-like shape of your torso, still wrapped in the tight fabric of your dress. His hands glide reverently from the edges of your shoulders to the narrowing of your waist, admiring your back, then slide to your navel, on your front, climbing back up so he can cup the roundness of your breasts. “The geometry of you… If you could see yourself…” 

He can’t ever bring himself to finish one damn thought. The sight of you gives him no reprieve: he’s entirely overstimulated by everything you offer to him, defeated, even, by it. 

His fingers tease your nipples through your dress and your insides clench from it, the kegel ball rolling inside you and making you purr from him. He smiles and brings himself back on track. 

No distractions this time, he scolds himself, and his body bows off of you. He backs up slowly, unrushed pecks of his lips climbing down the ladder of your vertebrae, and in the meanwhile he undoes the handcuffs. 

You would maybe complain if it weren’t for the fact that you trust him with your own pleasure, blindly.

When the salt of his spilled orgasm meets his parted lips, he lets his tongue slip out, giving a full sweep of a lick, lush, wet and hot. 

You shudder. “What you up to?” you ask, surprised, confused, almost coherent. 

“Just a casual snack,” he murmurs against your wet skin. “It’s not like I’m done with you here.”

You chuckle, nervous, but also thankful. Your heartbreak has been postponed. You push your body back, trying to move closer to him in whatever intuitive way you can. You turn your face on the other side as you know that by now there must be an imprint of the carpet against your cheek. 

The blaze coming from the fireplace in the distance warms your face, and once your eyes roll closed, you realise just how pleasant it is to vaguely perceive the orange of the fire from the back of your eyelids. The flames whisper like lovers, like a hushed breathing sound, like exhales and inhales sharply syncopating each other. Then there’s the cracking of the logs, which perfectly echoes and alternates with the sound of Seokjin’s wet kisses, the clicking of his tongue, and the sucking. 

The sensations come in so sharply in the empty space you’ve carved for yourself. It’s like you’ve muted the rest of the world except Seokjin and that eyeless voyeur that is the fire. 

When Seokjin speaks again, it surprises you and causes a somersault to your stomach, for his voice his so deep and quiet and intimate. It’s the sexiest you’ve ever heard from him. 

“Spread your pretty thighs for me, darling.”

You can tell you just gushed out more wetness at your core. That’s what he can get from you, just by using his voice alone. 

As soon as you follow his order, he lays with his back on the floor, the width of his shoulders finding its slot in between your parted knees. His hands find your butt and he uses it to readjust your stance. 

“Won't you give me just a taste, darling, please?” he says, and you adore just how imploring he is, but at the same time smooth and gallant too.

You love it when he asks you, all chivalrous, about treating you like his own personal slut. 

He kisses the inside of your thigh and you find your thighs spreading even further, as you lower your hips a tiny inch closer to the floor — or rather, closer to his awaiting mouth. 

“I swear I'm gonna beg if I have to, Fawn. Fucking please.” 

He twists his head to the other side and bites the soft flesh on the inside of your leg. His teeth sink gently, sending sparks of pleasure all over your body. “Won't you put me out of my misery, darling?” 

“I love it when you beg,” you admit, propping your front up on your elbows first, then on your palms. “It's different from your usual demanding self.”

Your eyes meet his and you notice a spark of uncertainty there. “Do you want me to be harsher? To command you?” 

You smile meekly, fondly. “I like you best precisely the way you are.” 

You can't see it in the penumbra, but heat has crept to his cheeks, and it's mostly your compliments' fault.

He grabs your waist, appreciating how easily his thumb and forefinger rest at its narrowest point, then invites you to lower your pelvis some more.

At this point, you find yourself more comfortable in a kneeling position, your chest lifted, your thighs in a slightly narrower stance as you lower your ass to his chest, your weight still partially held by your hands, propped on the floor near your knees. 

He doesn't speak before he acts. He simply grabs your ass again and zeroes in with his lips on your clitoris. 

Bliss is instantaneous. 

He starts torturing you immediately with long sucking motions, driving you insane, and when you try to remove yourself, he doesn't allow you to. 

Your brain immediately recalls your safeword, but you can't find the final straw that urges you to use it.

You're feeling pleasure— no, actually you are pleasure. 

It blooms from you immediately, six or seven slow, stubborn licks after. You brace yourself for the tide rising, but you can't resist it anyway, and soon you find yourself fucking his face, so sexy as it appears in between your naked parted thighs, your dress still on, hitched up around your waist. 

His eyes are closed, as if he were feeling it too. He’s the picture of passion, entirely dedicated, single-minded about your ecstasy. 

As you’re coming down, you reach for his hair with your left hand, your fingers digging through his luscious locks, tugging just the way he likes, with intention, but also not too roughly. You expect him to back off, but he opens his eyes, stares at your open mouth, at your feverish gaze— and keeps going. 

You swear as he starts veering into overstimulation, his nails digging in your ass. 

Pleasure becomes pain, which feeds pleasure even further. 

Fire blooms inside you, its many tongues setting each of your limbs ablaze. 

The second orgasm comes with a scream — your own — and some moaning from Seokjin which only confirms a certain sense of accomplishment. 

Meanwhile the kegel ball has warmed to your inner heat, your muscles constricting around it in a vicious grip, giving you that fullness that is enough to enhance your pleasure without truly fulfilling it. 

“God, more, please…”

Seokjin chuckles, bathing your inner thighs in soft kisses and sweet little bites. “I love it when you call me god.”

You sit yourself back on his face and giggle. “Oh, shut up.”

His arms tighten like a vice around your legs, his hands pushing your dress further up, exposing the hill of your pelvis, just above the parting of your labia. 

He lands some kisses there, sucking, enjoying the soft, plump skin, and the plumpness he leaves in his wake. 

Heat rushes wild under the flesh he kisses, sensitivity heightened, capillaries blooming with fullness. 

“Lower yourself to the floor, pretty thing,” he hums, and he’s so cruelly persuasive that you obey, your shoulders pressed to the back of your hands, elbows tucked in tight by the sides of your waist. “As low as you can, Fawn,” he recommends. 

Once you do, he gives a powerful swing with his shoulders, causing you to swap positions so that your back ends up on the floor and he is finally on top of you. 

“Back the way it's supposed to be,” he says, at once free to exercise all the control he needs. “I'm not even sure I need you naked,” he says, kissing your navel, the crests of your hips, the junction between your thighs and your hips. 

He lifts the hem of your dress, the stretchy knit giving him room to stick his head under the fabric. 

He attaches himself to your nipple as soon as he finds it, his hand climbing up to your chest and starting to toy with your other breast. 

“You could also undress me, you know,” you tease him, but apparently he is really busy and your spine is arching off the floor, and you can feel the wetness of his mouth against the precious lace of your bra. 

“Shut up,” he says, his voice lost in bliss, and he's moving the cup of your bra just below your breast, baring your nipple. “I'll be busy for the next three working days. Do not call me, email me, or text me. I'm worshipping nipples.” 

You laugh and you suddenly clench at the way the laughing twists the sensation of his sucking your breast, making it a fluttery and yet intense feeling. 

He gets his head out of your dress and kisses your neck instead. “I really like this dress,” he tells you. “I also really like the lack of panties, though that must have been slightly uncomfortable.” 

“It felt a little bit weird, yes. I was afraid I was going to flash someone.” 

He chuckles, then freezes. “You might have. Are you sure you haven't?” 

Feeling him all serious, you become serious too. “I don't know?” You start worrying a little. Would that be a violation to the rules of the club? 

“You're telling me someone else might have seen this?” He cups your vulva with his hand, and the pressure is mind-numbing. It takes you maybe two or three seconds to respond, your thoughts like arrows that deviate their trajectory towards your crotch. 

“Seokjin, I—” 

He sticks two fingers inside you and tightens his grip on you. “Fawn. This. This belongs to me. Okay?” 

You shiver at how stern he sounds. “Yes.”

“Do you understand?” 

“Yes, I do.”

Seokjin nods to himself. “Good. Now get out of this damn dress.” 

“You, get out of your clothes too,” you order, trying to be just as stern, but he laughs at you, rubbing your G-spot inside you. 

“I think your silly, sex-addled brain got confused.” He grips your face with his free hand, squishing your cheeks together. “I tell you what to do, Fawn. And you do it.” 

You're taken aback by just how patronising his words are. How silly and insignificant they make you feel. How even wetter you get. 

You arch off the carpet and slip your dress off, tugging and pulling, until your body is finally free. 

Seokjin studies the way the fire dances on your skin, the way your breasts rise and fall with your ragged breathing. 

“Good girl, Fawn.” He leans over and kisses your breast, then gives a fat lick to the sensitive skin before blowing over it in a way that makes you shiver. “So fucking sensitive.” 

He's beginning to undo his shirt, towering over you as he sits up on his knees and lets his fingers make a quick work of the buttons, his teal satin shirt coming undone quickly. 

He manages to shrug it off easily, the expanse of his chest finally emerging in front of you. He notices how enchanted you are by it, how mesmerised. 

The contrast between the fairness of his skin and the raspberry pink of his nipples is stark and seductive. You now understand colour theory and why animals always eat at the brightest-coloured fruit. 

You sit up, leaning on your hands, your mouth searching for his chest, but with a finger pressed to your sternum he pushes you back down. 

“Sit still for a second, for fuck’s sake,” he scolds you, then tries to get rid of his trousers, which proves to be truly challenging in a kneeling position. 

He tuts, frustrated, then convinces himself to stand back up, finally pushing his trousers and briefs down, shimmying out of them too in an attempt to get naked faster. 

You’re already on your knees in front of him, waiting, lips parted, hoping he’s going to use your mouth for his pleasure, and you try to invite him to, kissing his thigh, caressing it with your teeth, then giving it a kittenish lick. 

He grabs you by the cheeks, then forces you to look up at him. “I thought you were a smart, obedient girl, Fawn. Are you not?”

You’re still kneeling in front of him, mouth parted, eyes wide aimed at his face. You try to appear as dollish and harmless as possible. 

“I wouldn’t like to think wanting to get fucked turned you into a silly girl, mh?”

He’s so hard, right in front of you, and the sphere inside you is not enough, not anymore. You need him moving in and out of you. You need fullness, you need to be more than what you can take. 

You need him rough, needy, harsh, unforgiving, relentless and fastidiously specific about how he wants to fuck you.

You can almost put your mouth on him. Almost. 

You frown. “Please,” you whine, wetting your lips with the tip of your tongue. 

He smiles, then snorts. “So desperate…”

Your inner muscles flutter at his cocky tone. 

He kneels back, at your same height. “Spread your legs, love,” he tells you, and you keen at the pet name, which makes him caress your cheek fondly. “Come on, let me fuck you, Fawn.”

You part your knees further and his hand slips from your cheeks to your chin, then to your neck, gripping it suggestively, then caresses your breast and follows the axis of your midriff, twirls around your navel and settles at your pubis. 

You wet your lips again, your breath caught in your throat, your gaze tantalised by the movement of his hands. 

He spreads your labia, covering his fingers in your wetness, then he dives for your entrance, catching the sphere inside and helping it out. 

“You should be warm and stretched now, right?” he asks you, then brings the toy to his mouth. 

You stare at him, daring him to do exactly what he does next. He opens his mouth and takes a lick at the ball, tasting you. 

“This wet cause I made you come?” he asks, and you nod, stunned. He brings the sphere to your nipple and rubs it against your breast gently, drawing a small circle on it. “Sweet,” he coos, then sucks your freshly moistened nipple in his mouth.

You moan like you never have, your hips starting to move in an attempt to grind against something. 

You’re almost on the edge by the time he releases your skin from his lips. “Seokjin,” you beg, grabbing his hair and combing it back. “Please, Seokjin, I need it. I need it.”

He sits on his heels, his free hand landing on the small of your back and pulling you closer. “Come close, Fawn. I want to look into your eyes as you take it.”

Your frown can’t even begin to express how desperate you feel. You want him, now, and you’re about to have him. But a part of you is suddenly remembering that you’ll have to let go of him again at the end of the night. 

You shake off the bad thoughts and take him in your hand, but he swats it away. 

“When I say so,” he scolds you, so you place your hands on his shoulders for leverage and when you’re ready to sit on his lap, he grips himself steady and aims his tip at your entrance. 

“Can’t wait to hear you moan as I fill you up, love.”

You bite your lip and the head of his dick slips in effortlessly, smooth and hot. 

A sigh of relief leaves your throat and he smiles. “Goddamn, so warm,” he whispers, then gives you a few more inches — just three or four. Not yet all of them. 

“How does it feel, my Fawn?” he speaks softly. “Still hungry for more?”

You nod, feeling just how full, how magnificent it feels to have more, and to know there’s more to take. 

“You really needed my dick, mh?” He gives you one more inch and you start wincing, just a little. It’s thick and it’s warm, and it feels so right to squeeze it with your muscles, your orgasm starting to build. 

Seokjin looses control for a moment, and that’s all it takes for him to conclude his stroke, sinking all the way to the hilt. 

A gasp escapes you and he seems surprised too. 

He blinks a few times, then his gaze seems to focus on you. “Hello,” he says, with a large smile. “Fawn, I guess I needed inside you just as bad as you did.”

You chuckle and he grips the back of your neck and dives to kiss you. 

The tang of your taste is strong on his tongue, but you don’t dislike it. The kiss is soft, gentle, unrushed and tender. 

“Let me know when I can move,” he tells you. 

You nod. 

“Touch yourself,” he orders you, then starts stroking for real. 

He’s deep and slow, like he’s keeping himself in check, aiming at you coming undone. 

Which you do, in record time, moaning like you’ve never had good sex in your entire life, and at this point you’ve come to suspect so. 

You’ve given yourself good sex. You’ve splurged on a good realistic dildo, and you’ve learnt to fuck yourself right with it, but when Seokjin moves inside you, you doubt you truly ever reached ecstasy in your decades of existence. 

When you do come, it’s his name you scream, shameless, loud, and you don’t care since the entire building is made of people who are in several different states of erotic debauchery. 

Seokjin is proud, fulfilled, your pleasure finally achieved. 

He can now focus on his now. 

He recovers the kegel ball he slipped out of you, still hooked on his finger by the strap, and brings it in front of you. “I might get rough.” He seems unsure, and cheeky too, as he adds, ”How do you feel about a muffler?”

Your eyes widen. You think about it for a millisecond, then it seems obvious. “Go ahead,” you tell him, then open your mouth. 

“God, I love you,” he says. 

And you both stop. 

“Shit, I mean—” Seokjin is panicking. 

“I know,” you say calmly, trying to reassure him. 

He seems like he didn’t mean it. Not like that, at least. “I love this. Between us,” he adds

And you can agree about that. “I do, too.” 

He seems conflicted, unresolved. “Fill my mouth then fill me up, Seokjin. It’s not complicated.”

It really is, because you want all the feelings that come with this, and that are plenty more complicated than two hours of giving and taking everything you need for yourselves. It’s more than getting rid of tension and snatching all the pleasure you can.

He’s still hesitating, so you nudge the sphere with your nose and chin until you manage to catch it with your mouth. 

Both his hands are free now and he decides to grab your ass immediately, shoving your hips back down on him. “Damn right,” he grunts. 

He’ll give you what you want, he’s decided. Everything you want. He’ll keep to himself the complicated bits. 

You hum a short, clipped sound as he lifts you just a little and pulls you down again. Again, even faster than before. 

You start getting his pattern, cooperating as he gets more frantic, more forceful. 

Saliva is starting to gather in your mouth, the ball making it too difficult to swallow. You’re getting messy, and you decide to get messier still, to fuck the worries out of his brain, out of your own too. 

You’re glad he’s flexible, because you manage to make him shift from a lotus position to a rowdy cowgirl. There you go faster still, and he’s gasping your name, staring at your breasts, gripping them, slapping them too as they dangle over his face. 

You clench on him as he does, and he whines even louder. 

It makes you territorial, and maybe sadistic, because next thing you know, you’re removing the toy from your mouth and placing it on the floor — it is no longer welcome in your and Seokjin’s little game. 

Now it’s only the two of you, and may the strongest opponent win. 

You trace his pout with your fingers, and he parts his lips easily. Your middle and ring finger slip inside, and he lets you open his mouth wider. 

You lean over him, lower yourself to him, closer, your bellies sticking together, your hips still pistoning on him. 

Your tongue and cheeks are still coated in the thick wetness and saliva from the improvised gag-ball, so you just leave your lips agape and the thick liquid plops out, from your tongue on his. 

His eyes go wide and he grows more frantic still, going desperate while he licks his lips clean. “God, Fawn. Please,”

“Oh, did the tables turn…”

He smiles a desperate smile, begging you with his eyes. You allow him the final squeeze of your kegels, and he finally, finally comes. 

His arms wrap around you like vines, like he’s ivy, and he depends on you, needs you, wants to cling to your forever. 

He starts pushing from below and it’s a punishment divine and sinful at the same time. 

It shouldn’t feel this good, and yet it does, so you take it as best as you can. 

It feels like stealing, and you’re not sure you’re okay when he slips out. “A quick break, let me recover,” he begs. “Not done though.”

Seokjin is great at recovering, this one you’ve learnt. Maybe he doesn’t jerk off by himself. Maybe he keeps himself at bait so he can go all out when he’s with you. 

Nevertheless, he takes ten or so minutes to himself, where he just lays with you on top of him, his dick inside you, softening, while he strokes your body. 

“I don’t know what I meant with what I said earlier,” he admits. 

“We don’t need to talk about this right now,” you tell him, and maybe you’re just trying to save your poor little heart. Sure, saying you love him would be an exaggeration, but you definitely like this man, and you like his heart, his personality, and most importantly, the way he treats you and understands your needs. 

“I feel like we should.” He’s caressing your spine. “I—”

“Why did your ex-wife let go of you? How did she give up on sex this good? How did she get this and not…? Stay?” You ask. And you need the answer. Maybe that will make you swallow the lump in your throat. He wants to discuss difficult topics? Then let’s do that. 

“I—” He’s clearly caught by surprise. “I was not like this. With her. With other women.” His hand stops, resting on the curve of your ass. “We were just… No longer in love with each other. We still love each other, but we don’t long for each other anymore. We love each other for the three beautiful lives we created together, for our family, for the memories, but we don’t… We want to build different paths. And that’s fair.”

You nod, then settle back on his chest, drawing patterns on it with your fingers. He’s starting to stir inside you, you can tell. Feeling him awaken like this is fulfilling, arousing too. “And you let go?”

“We did.” He squeezes your butt fondly. “We— Me and my ex didn’t have sex often. I needed it, I guess, but I never asked. She didn’t seem to want it. Passion was never part of the equation.”

“But three kids? I—”

“We wanted a big family. She did, especially. But it’s not like we tried a lot. We were just lucky. And I don’t regret that, not even a second. After Daisy we stopped altogether. We were basically celibate for more than a year.”

You nod, then look at him. “So this thing with me is like—?”

He chuckles, his hips shifting in a way that tells you he’s ready again, or soon will be. “This is the most selfish and passionate I’ve been in the last five years. I guess that’s why I said what I said earlier.” He’s blushing, eyes averted. “But that doesn’t mean I value you only for selfish reasons.” He forces himself to look at you again. “I actually like you a lot. But I don’t know what to do because stuff gets complicated when you have kids, especially young kids like mine.”

You nod some more. “You like me?!” You say after three seconds, tires screeching in your brain as you process his words. 

He smiles, his laugh rippling from his stomach to yours. “Yeah, that one sure. Pretty sure about it, yeah.”

“And—”

“And I waited this long to tell you because I wanted to be sure, but also because I wanted to be sure it meant something to you too. I wanted to feel safe with you.” He smooths your hair by your temple, removing a strand that was obstructing your eye. “I wanted to have sex when I was sure you meant something for me. I think sex is something meaningful. Important. I wanted to get there step by step.”

You rise from his chest, stare at him, confused, like your world has been just flipped inside out. “I thought you didn’t—”

“I did.” He chuckles, just a little, then places a hand on your waist and flips the two of you upside down. 

He’s on top of you, and he’s got a point to prove. “Last time I really did. I was this close,” he says, and he strokes out, then in, slowly.

You moan his name, and he dives to your lips. “Such a pretty way to moan for me, Fawn. Telling everyone who’s fucking this sweet, warm, cosy pussy.” He stops once he bottoms out and speaks through gritted teeth: “As I was saying before you interrupted me, I really wanted to, last time. I was sure I was going to get your number and invite you for dinner afterwards. But the babysitter and fucking lice and—”

You laugh. He’s fucking you so good and yet you end up talking about mundane stuff and he’d so handsome above you but you really want him to take you from behind — your mind is frazzled. 

“I wanted to fuck you and keep you till morning, and then get you breakfast, and ask you for a date.”

Your heartbeat stumbles. “A date?”

He stops. “God. Don’t tell me you—” He slips out. “You don’t… Uhm. It’s— You don’t see me like that, right?”

He seems defeated, embarrassed too, maybe, but mostly lost.

“Oh, not that!” You rush to clarify, “I mean, I do! I do see you like that, I mean!” You grab him by the shoulders, then cup the sides of his neck and kiss him, because you’re making a mess and you know that you’re going to kiss him right and show him just how much this means to you. 

“I love that you waited to have sex with me.” You caress his face. “It meant a lot, because I don’t think I was ready to have sex straight away.”

“I wanted to since I first saw you,” he says, and you kiss him some more, to show him you like what he’s telling you, that you want him to keep going. “But I needed time to process just what I wanted, and how.”

“I noticed you staring.”

“I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. I wanted to be matched with you so bad, but I was scared we wouldn’t combine. Maybe we were incompatible.”

You smile. “I’m so glad this is happening.”

He slips an arm underneath your back and helps you up, until you’re both sitting up again, your chin resting on his shoulder, and you’re about to abandon yourself in his arms when you notice something in a corner of the room. 

“Hold up,” you tell him. 

He pulls back, looking you in the face. “What’s wrong?” 

You shake your head, then kiss him softly, gingerly. “Just wait.”

You rise and let him slip out of you, his dick deliciously covered in your and his cum. 

He watches you rise and follows you with his gaze, studying the way the fire dances on the planes of your skin. His mouth waters. “Fawn, love, no need to—”

“Yes!” you exclaim, then he notices you’re moving a full-length mirror closer to your alcove by the fireplace. It’s a wheeled mirror, which can be rolled around to better be included in the scene. You place it in front of Seokjin, who studies you standing beside it, then looks at his reflection. “I wanted this so bad,” you tell him, “but I wanted to look you in the eye and I don’t like the fact that you gotta face away for it.”

You sit in front of him, then turn your back to him and head back to your position on all fours, just like you started. 

Seokjin shakes his head. “I’ve never understood doggy before hitting it with you,” he says, his hands skating down your sides. 

He slips in and you both hiss, but pleasure rises faster than pain. The first stroke is heaven already. “I’m gonna be fucking you like this for weeks to come.”

“I’m gonna hold you accountable for that,” you tease. 

He nods, then wraps an arm around you, his hand sprawled against your sternum, and he pulls you up, with your back against his chest. 

He can feel your crazed heartbeat, and you can feel his against your spine. 

“I’m gonna get rough, Fawn.” He bites your neck, not aggressively, but with passion. “Fuck, you make me wild.” He jabs into you. “With your pretty eyes.” Once more. “And your pretty, dirty mouth.” He slides out, then stuffs himself back in and you gasp. “And the way you get dumb and filthy when you need to come.” His hand climbs to your throat, without gripping, just a gentle warm caress, as if to protect it, and help you hold your head upright. “The way you mix innocence and debauchery.” It’s like he’s trying to burrow himself inside you, swallowing your frame into his. “You’re a delight of a little bitch.”

You’re touching yourself now, and he stares at it in the mirror, at the frantic circles of your fingers on your clitoris, at the way your tits wiggle at his thrusts.

Your lips are parted wide, and you’re starting to fall, he can tell, your eyes closing slowly. You’re fluttering for him, inside, and he’s gritting his teeth, plunging inside you more furiously. “Come on, come for me, my little bitch. Show me how much you love this dick.”

And so you do.

He thanks you softly and compliments you as you start coming apart for him, his own pleasure coming together and unraveling at last as you both spiral into each other. 

It’s apotheosis, the way you melt into each other, your essence becoming one. It’s completion. It’s finality. It’s your destination. 

You’re both left panting, exhausted, and this time you’re not sure Seokjin will recover as easily as he had before. 

“Holy smokes,” you exhale, and he meets your eyes in the mirror. His cheeks are adorably flushed, and his eyes are dark and drowsy. He’s still panting. “Very worth it. Every second.”

“Kudos for the mirror. Excellent idea.”

“We need to add that to the list.”

“Definitely.”

He kisses a spot near the hollow of your throat, nibbling the skin there just right. 

He stays buried inside you still, and has pretty much no intention of getting out. 

“Are you alright?” he asks you, his fingers skimming your belly, caressing you, but also trying to keep you warm. He wants to grab a robe for you, but he doesn't want to be detached from you yet. 

“I'm just fine,” you reassure him, rubbing his thigh to comfort him. 

“Was it too rough?” he asks and you shake your head immediately. 

“Are you kidding? It was just perfect!” you tell him, meeting his eyes in the mirror. 

He stays quiet for a while then says, “Are we okay with… With what I said earlier? About… About feelings?” 

You blink repeatedly. “I think…” You pause. “I think it's fair, what you feel. And—” You shake your head and giggle. “I hope you did mean to ask me on a date.”

He chuckles, then wraps his arms more tightly around you. “Breakfast. The girls are with their mom tonight, we could sleep here—” He kisses a sweet spot at your nape— “Or not sleep at all,” he suggests, “and wake up in the morning and go for breakfast.” He contemplates the option, studying your face in the mirror. “It's up to you, my beautiful Fawn.”

You just shake your head yes, smiling brightly.

“I need to be clear from the start, though. If my situation with my terminated marriage, and with my kids scares you or disturbs you in any way, I would like to know it right now.” 

You shake your head vigorously. “I'm okay with that, as long as you're sure you're ready to try this for real.” You feel your eyes grow avoidant and your cheeks heat as you add, “I must admit, Seokjin, that I got it quite bad for you. If you were in this with no intention of things getting serious, I think I would be—” You search for the word. “I'd be disappointed. Strongly.”

He nods, then swallows you in his frame, your torso and his like two juxtaposed crescents. “I'm looking for something real. Something passionate and steady and reliable. Someone I can be a man with, a friend, and a father, and a partner too. I need someone for myself. Someone who can be mine, but also someone I can belong to.”

You nod then turn to look him in the eye, your bodies still spooned. You stretch to his lips and he kisses you, his eyes staring at your mouth before it goes out of focus.

It's immediately a matter of tongues and wetness and sucking, with just the right amount of teeth. His hands lose their peaceful rest and return to tantalising, seductive touches, veering south. 

“Already?” you purr against his mouth, a slow smile already crumbling. 

“You've got no idea what you started,” he says, tempting. 

You chuckle, your laugh and his mixing. And you tell him, “Show me.” 

More in this AU | MYG | KNJ

General masterlist

[snoozeagustd]

valentino x yoongi photo reel

[biaswreckme]

maroon | namgi

part of a series of (very) short fics inspired by taylor swift songs

"How the hell did we lose sight of us again?"

Pairing: Namjoon/Yoongi

Member: Namjoon, Yoongi,

Length: 238 words

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, smut

Rating: 18+

Triggers/Warnings: implied sex, sad vibes, hopeful ending maybe?

You can read it on: AO3

When they looked at the clock on the phone, they noticed they had lost track of time yet again that evening. Yoongi’s legs were over Namjoon’s, both sitting on the floor at the younger’s studio. They clinked cheap glasses with expensive whiskey, scarlet cheeks under low lights, their most recent finished pieces playing over the speakers. This was something that they had not done in a while; the rush of producing for other people, traveling around, the tour of a solo project, busy visiting parents.

All excuses not to do this. All excuses not to feel this intimacy again after the last time, after the uncertainty and lack of communication. 

That last time, when Namjoon dropped his glass and it stained Yoongi’s white t-shirt. When the moment of rushing with a napkin turned into the rushing of lips pressing into a deep and longful kiss. When there were blushing body parts being discovered for the first time in all these years of knowing each other. When they woke up together the following day, both memories and clothes strewn about the place. When they did not talk afterward. When there were gazes avoided in the hallway. When they lost sight of each other - and their friendship - for a while.

It had been too long, but there was whiskey again. There was incense burning dangerously close to expensive furniture. And soon they were dancing, no shoes, new marks on collarbones.

[sugarushsuga]

I’ll wait - #23

Genre/Au’s: Fluff – Idol!verse; Stablished Relationship

Paring: Yoongi x F Reader

Words count: 2.549

Rating: 18+

Synopsis: You meet Yoongi at a photoshoot and you just need to wait for him to be done.

Author note: His photos are going to be the death of me.

Masterlist

The soft music is almost inaudible as the chattering and camera clicks fill the air. You are walking on the narrow corridor towards the room containing all the noise. Doing your best to be as invisible as possible not wanting to bother the people working.

Inside the studio, there is one of those big fabric backgrounds, where you just flip the  backgrounds like you’d do a flip chart. There is a sightly greenish, kind of sage background on, the main subject of the photoshoot has a white dress shirt on, buttoned all the way up, black slacks, and shiny shoes, not that they are showing in the photos. He also sits in a tall stool.

You keep walking quietly on the back of the room, greeting silently the staff you know, doing your best to not disturb the art that is being made.

The director and star are fully immersed, they exchange opinions, ask him, the subject, to look to one side. Tilt the head a bit the other side. Look to the camera in a 45° angle, now smile a little, no don’t smile. Eyes closed, open. Wow, everyone will in love with this one, can I ask you phone number after we are done? Now lift up your shoulders a little more. Please someone can fix that one hair strand that is sticking up?

You can’t help but stare at him, just like everyone else in the room. Your eyes meet and the corner of his lips quicks up in a smirk.

“Can I get some water?” He request for a pause in the shoot.

“Oh, of course you can.” The director is quickly rushing his staff.

Getting out of the stool he makes his way towards you. His cold hands cup your cheeks, and a soft kiss is placed on your lips. To fight the urge to touch his styled hair your burry your hands inside  your coat pockets.

“Hey, handsome.” You greet.

“Hey, babe” Yoongi smiles before pecking your lips once again.

His manager goes over to the director, in an attempt to give you both a little bit of privacy. You make a mental note to thank him later.

“Something’s wrong?”

“Besides the fact I want to ruin your perfectly styled hair?” You ask, before pressing a kiss to his jaw.

“You can do whatever you want.” The man purrs letting his head fall to the side.

“I can’t, and I already took too much of everyone’s time. Go back to work.” You say gently pushing your boyfriend away and tapping his ass.

Yoongi pouts cutely as he walks backwards towards the shooting space. “I still have another couple styles to do.”

“It’s okay.” You sit on an empty chair in your corner. As you watch the man switch from Min Yoongi, your boyfriend to the professional Suga of BTS. His hair is styled in a way that resembles Holly, some very loose curls fluffed out making him look innocent and cute, parked with a dark sweater.

You snap some photos of him on your phone, knowing that when he gets the photos later he’ll send them all to you so you can pic the ones you want as you background.

There aren’t many props around and Yoongi is a pro, what makes the shoot move faster. He change his sweater to a white dress shirt with some ruffles and a black cardigan. His stylist combs his hair taming it down and fixing some strands so now his hair parts to the side so now it shows all the layers of with the ends lightly peaking up.

Yoongi keeps on making funny faces to you as you watch him through the mirror of the makeup station. It’s a small studio so the makeup and hair station is on a corner of the room right beside to the bathroom. Your chair is not too far from where he is sitting.

“Ahoy!” You great him as you walk closer.

“I’m not a pirate.” He glares playfully.

“No? So, what are you? A lord?” You push your hands inside your pockets fighting the urge to run them though his hair.

“Just Min Suga.” He pulls you closer.

“You look like someone from an old European movie.” You make fun of him.

“And you are just jealous that I’m looking this good and you can’t touch me.” Yoongi rolls his eyes at you.

“Where is the ‘you can do whatever you want’?” You ask mimicking him just moments earlier.

“Oh, that was Min Yoongi, now you are talking to Min Suga.” He says holding your wrist once the stylist says he is free to get up. “After this there are two more hair styles, the last one will take the longest.” Yoongi explains caressing the inside of your wrist.

“That’s okay, I’ll wait.” You nod.

“Are you sure? I can ask my man anger to-“

Placing a finger on his lips you shush him. “I’ll wait. Now go back there and finish your work so everyone can go home early and enjoy their night.”

Yoongi cups your cheeks and places a kiss on your lips then on your forehead before heading back to the shooting background. He sits on a stool to take more photos and then stands up, walks around from one side the another.

The next hairstyle is just simply parting his hair in the middle and changing his pirate shirt to a normal dress shirt. His hair stylist chats with you as he takes the photos taking about how healthy and silky his hair feels and how envious she’s of it. You can’t help but agree with her, especially since he just washes it with shampoo without any special care, while you care a lot for your hair, and it is far from looking healthy and shiny like his.

During the shoot she excused herself and takes a bottle of water to the set, she sprays some on his hair preparing to the next style, the director asked her to stop and takes some photos of Yoongi with half damp hair. As always he looks like a snack for you and you can only wait until the shoot is done.

He comes back to the makeup station and pulls you to his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist as the director calls a break so the styling team can prepare the props for the last round. His hairstylist already damped we’ll his hair and bushed it all back. The makeup stylish prepares a pink net kind of thing that resembles cotton candy with small daisies around it and some other blue painted leaf’s that resemble feathers.

“This will be the last set.” He kisses your cheek.

“Hm.”

“And I’ll kill everyone with it.” He jokes playing with your fingers.

“You always do. You look fine, oh so fine.” You peak his nose. “I’ve never thought my self-control would be tested so much when I agreed to meet you here.”

“Is your self-control being tested?” He breath as against your jaw, and you nod. “And what are you controlling yourself to not do?”

“Hm…” you pretend to think, “I can’t say it out loud.”

“Yoongi, can we prepare you?” The stylist asks interrupting you.

“Oh,” you jump off of his lap and stand back to give the team room to work.

“Y/n!” Yoongi whines as you move away and not answering him.

“Sorry babe.” You pout and he does too.

“It’s okay, I’ll wait till we get home.” He winks.

As Yoongi gets ready for the shoot you can only watch him as you wait until is time to go home.

The soft music is almost inaudible as the chattering and camera clicks fill the air. You are walking on the narrow corridor towards the room containing all the noise. Doing your best to be as invisible as possible not wanting to bother the people working.

Inside the studio, there is one of those big fabric backgrounds, where you just flip the  backgrounds like you’d do a flip chart. There is a slightly greenish, kind of sage background on, the main subject of the photoshoot has a white dress shirt on, buttoned all the way up, black slacks, and shiny shoes, not that they are showing in the photos. He also sits in a tall stool.

You keep walking quietly in the back of the room, silently greeting the staff you know, doing your best to not disturb the art that is being made.

The director and star are fully immersed, they exchange opinions, ask him, the subject, to look to one side. Tilt the head a bit the other side. Look at the camera at a 45° angle, now smile a little, no don’t smile. Eyes closed, open. Wow, everyone will fall in love with this one, can I ask for your phone number after we are done? Now lift up your shoulders a little more. Can someone please fix that one hair strand that is sticking up?

You can’t help but stare at him, just like everyone else in the room. Your eyes meet and the corner of his lips quicks up in a smirk.

“Can I get some water?” He requested a pause in the shoot.

“Oh, of course you can.” The director is quickly rushing his staff.

Getting out of the stool he makes his way towards you. His cold hands cup your cheeks, and a soft kiss is placed on your lips. To fight the urge to touch his styled hair you bury your hands inside  your coat pockets.

“Hey, handsome.” You greet.

“Hey, babe” Yoongi smiles before pecking your lips once again.

His manager goes over to the director, in an attempt to give you both a little bit of privacy. You make a mental note to thank him later.

“Something’s wrong?”

“Besides the fact I want to ruin your perfectly styled hair?” You ask, before pressing a kiss to his jaw.

“You can do whatever you want.” The man purrs, letting his head fall to the side.

“I can’t, and I already took too much of everyone’s time. Go back to work.” You say gently pushing your boyfriend away and tapping his ass.

Yoongi pouts cutely as he walks backwards towards the shooting space. “I still have another couple styles to do.”

“It’s okay.” You sit on an empty chair in your corner. As you watch the man switch from Min Yoongi, your boyfriend to the professional Suga of BTS. His hair is styled in a way that resembles Holly, some very loose curls fluffed out making him look innocent and cute, parked with a dark sweater.

You snap some photos of him on your phone, knowing that when he gets the photos later he’ll send them all to you so you can pick the ones you want as your background.

There aren’t many props around and Yoongi is a pro, which makes the shoot move faster. He changed his sweater to a white dress shirt with some ruffles and a black cardigan. His stylist combs his hair, taming it down and fixing some strands so now his hair parts to the side so now it shows all the layers with the ends lightly peaking up.

Yoongi keeps on making funny faces to you as you watch him through the mirror of the makeup station. It’s a small studio so the makeup and hair station is in a corner of the room right beside the bathroom. Your chair is not too far from where he is sitting.

“Ahoy!” You greet him as you walk closer.

“I’m not a pirate.” He glares playfully.

“No? So, what are you? A lord?” You push your hands inside your pockets fighting the urge to run them though his hair.

“Just Min Suga.” He pulls you closer.

“You look like someone from an old European movie.” You make fun of him.

“And you are just jealous that I’m looking this good and you can’t touch me.” Yoongi rolls his eyes at you.

“Where is the ‘you can do whatever you want’?” You ask, mimicking him just moments earlier.

“Oh, that was Min Yoongi, now you are talking to Min Suga.” He says holding your wrist once the stylist says he is free to get up. “After this there are two more hair styles, the last one will take the longest.” Yoongi explains caressing the inside of your wrist.

“That’s okay, I’ll wait.” You nod.

“Are you sure? I can ask my man anger to-“

Placing a finger on his lips you shush him. “I’ll wait. Now go back there and finish your work so everyone can go home early and enjoy their night.”

Yoongi cups your cheeks and places a kiss on your lips then on your forehead before heading back to the shooting background. He sits on a stool to take more photos and then stands up, walks around from one side to the other.

The next hairstyle is just simply parting his hair in the middle and changing his pirate shirt to a normal dress shirt. His hair stylist chats with you as he takes the photos talking about how healthy and silky his hair feels and how envious she’s of it. You can’t help but agree with her, especially since he just washes it with shampoo without any special care, while you care a lot for your hair, and it is far from looking healthy and shiny like his.

During the shoot she excused herself and took a bottle of water to the set. She sprays some on his hair preparing for the next style, the director asks her to stop and takes some photos of Yoongi with half damp hair. As always he looks like a snack for you and you can only wait until the shoot is done.

He comes back to the makeup station and pulls you to his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist as the director calls a break so the styling team can prepare the props for the last round. His hairstylist already dampened his hair and bushed it all back. The makeup stylish prepares a pink net kind of thing that resembles cotton candy with small daisies around it and some other blue painted leaves that resemble feathers.

“This will be the last set.” He kisses your cheek.

“Hm.”

“And I’ll kill everyone with it.” He jokes playing with your fingers.

“You always do. You look fine, oh so fine.” You peak his nose. “I’ve never thought my self-control would be tested so much when I agreed to meet you here.”

“Is your self-control being tested?” He breathes as against your jaw, and you nod. “And what are you controlling yourself to not do?”

“Hm…” you pretend to think, “I can’t say it out loud.”

“Yoongi, can we prepare you?” The stylist interrupts you.

“Oh,” you jump off of his lap and stand back to give the team room to work.

“Y/n!” Yoongi whines as you move away and not answering him.

“Sorry babe.” You pout and he does too.

“It’s okay, I’ll wait till we get home.” He winks.

As Yoongi gets ready for the shoot you can only watch him as you wait until it is time to go home.

100WTSILY - Masterlist

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