#this is a really weird post for me to make considering i’ve never said anything about melanie on here let alone the mel allegations

[static-scribblez]

i’m actually gonna be sick.

[caelum-in-the-avatarverse]

Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.

So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.

Lurkers really are great, tho

I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.

Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.

The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.

Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.

There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.

I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available. 

I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.

I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.

So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.

But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.

I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.

Should we gatekeep fandom?

I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--

A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.

That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.

See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.

So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.

The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.

And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”

Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.

Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.

And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.

However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community. 

I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.

And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company? 

And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)

But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.

Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.

Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.

Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists. 

While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:

[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom 

OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]

-

“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.

I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.

It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits. 

So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.

And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.

So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.

Think of it like a garden gate

When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.

The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people. 

Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it. 

Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.

My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.

But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.

I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.

Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.

And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.

Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.

There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.

[thehighladywrites]

— “You were flirting with me?”

pairing: Azriel x fem!reader

summary: You leave Azriel mid-makeout to debrief with your girls

warnings: suggestiveness, the ic being nosey, miscommunication, rhys and cassian knowingly riling az up, the girls get drunk and interrogate reader, the boys get drunk and interrogate az,

amara’s note: this might be the funniest thing i’ve ever written. also sorry for my absence i’m posting more soon💗💗

You’ve had a massive crush on Azriel since the day you met him. He didn’t really notice you and was somewhat nice to you.

Really, you had no idea how you started crushing on him, I mean he paid you no special attention or anything. Maybe it was because he was quiet, handsome, tall, dark, mysterious and only spoke when it was necessary. He also cracked jokes and flashed grins that made your heart flutter. The Mother knows how much it grated your nerves whenever a male tried to hit or talk to you when you clearly had no desire to.

Azriel was the complete opposite and you started worrying that you were the one who grated on his nerves everytime you tried speaking to him.

“Hi Azriel, how are you doing?” you noticed him sitting at the dining table, collected yourself and asked him.

“Good,” he said staring straight into your soul before he realized his answer wasn’t really socially appropriate so asked you, “How are you?”

You just smiled awkwardly and nodded, “I’m fine, thanks.”

And that was how 90% of your conversations went. There was no further comments or extra questions and fuck if it wasn’t awkward. You really wanted to get to know him but you also knew how impossible it was since even the people he had been friends with for half a millennium often considered him a mystery.

Sensing the weird energy in the room, you just swiftly said goodbye, not bothering to stay to hear his goodbye.

He wanted to ask if you maybe wanted to do something, perhaps eat brunch at the restaurant you talked about to Cassian but you were moving before he had the chance. Azriel got extremely annoyed with himself, wondering why the hell he couldn’t ask you out like a normal person.

With determination, he promised himself to try the next time.

—

The girls all knew about your very obvious crush on Azriel and encouraged you to approach him often. They were all mated and happy and you wish it was you, you that had a mate, you who got loved and kissed and hugged and fucked.

But you just had to be obsessed with a man that paid you no attention… Maybe that’s why you wanted him, you viewed him as a challenge, and you loved challenges. Despite wanting his attention and wanting to get to know him, you still had self-respect and didn’t act like a pathetic, desperate, love-sick puppy infront of him.

So you went from always greeting him and smiling at him, trying to initiate conversations to flat out ignoring him. I mean, he never talked to you first so maybe it was time to accept it and just admire him from afar.

—

Azriel began to sense a dullness in his days, a void he couldn't really pinpoint. He realized he hadn’t talked to you, or rather, you hadn't talked to him while he played it cool, trying not to make his beating heart obvious. He noticed the absence of your chatter, questions and lovely voice, realizing that his days grew more mundane and boring without someone asking about his shadows, what his plans were, where he got Truth-Teller.

Azriel observed during dinner that you didn't glance at him once; your attention was solely on the girls or his brothers. You chose to stand up, walk across the dining room and grab the bowl of potatoes beside him instead of asking him for it, and it really irked him. Was he not worthy of passing a simple bowl of fucking potatoes?

He wondered if he had done something to make you avoid talking to him. Despite not being the most talkative person, he paid very close attention to everything you said, even if it seemed unnoticed. Azriel loved your presence and he thought he made his interest in you very clear when he looked at you.

Cassian had said girls like eye contact, still everytime he stared into your soul, you only looked weirded out. Was he doing it wrong? Maybe he wasn’t keeping eye contact long enough.

He had grown extremely fond of your talking and felt empty without it. Finding you alone in the kitchen while you prepared a quick breakfast, Azriel decided it was time to talk. The others had already headed to the training grounds as you had slept in. You were cooking your breakfast, not noticing Azriel.

“Hey.”

You stopped dead in your tracks, frozen in place as you slowly looked up at him. Was he really talking to you? But why?

“Yeah?”

He stayed quiet for a bit, just staring at you in that weird way he always did. Even though he wasn't sure if you liked him back and was afraid of rejection, he still wanted to talk to you.

“How have you been?”

You fight the urge to furrow your brows in confusion. Since when the hell did Azriel care? You were truly baffled and tried to act normal.

“Uh, I’ve been good, you?”

Azriel didn’t like this. He didn’t like this at all.

Usually, you'd spontaneously share every detail of your morning routine, even without him asking. He fucking loved to listen as you talked about your broken hairbrush, the struggle of choosing clothes, the snug fit of your leathers due to gained muscles, and the morning hassle with your hair, prompting you to wake up 20 minutes earlier than usual.

“I’m okay. Have you done anything else today? How is your hairbrush?”

A stupid question really, but Azriel didn’t care. He wanted to see that familiar spark in your eyes as you talked about anything and everything. No way would he ever forgive himself if he ruined something between you.

Your face heated at the fact that he remembered such a minuscule detail about something you said weeks ago.

”Oh, the hairbrush? It broke so I got an enchanted one. Heard it's like a hair miracle, tried it, and it really worked. By the way, your hair looks good. Did you cut it lately?”

Azriel couldn't help but warm up at your rambling. His eyes widened at first, and then he threw his head back and laughed. The deep, rich sound was familiar, yet it never failed to feel like the first time. It was a beautiful and joyful melody that always managed to make you melt on the inside.

"I really missed you," he admitted, feeling your heart pound in your chest, unable to meet his gaze.

"You did?" Azriel's soft smile warmed your heart, the one you'd nearly missed.

"I did. I enjoy being around you and hearing your voice," he confessed.

"Oh, I always thought you didn’t." You couldn't help but feel a mix of surprise and relief.

Stepping closer, Azriel's presence loomed over you, his hand gently lifting your chin.

“Please, don’t misunderstand me. I’m sorry that my silence ever gave you that impression. I thought I was making my interest clear, to be honest,” he murmured, sincerity gleaming in his hazel eyes.

“Okay, I promise I won’t misunderstand again. But why did you think you made yourself clear?” you whispered, feeling a rush of energy as you locked eyes with him.

“Because I made a point of holding prolonged eye contact, thinking it was a clear signal of my interest,” he explained matter-of-factly.

You couldn't help but raise your eyebrows, suppressing a laugh. “So, all those times you were staring at me, you were actually flirting?”

Azriel's expression softened, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes. “Well, yes. I thought you knew.”

Suppressing a giggle, you bit your lip and glanced away, not wanting to offend him.

“Ah, not exactly crystal clear, but I understand now. Let’s go for a walk and chat some more,” you suggested, linking your arm through his.

"Sounds perfect. Now, tell me about those new leathers you got," he said, his playful demeanor easing the tension, steering the conversation towards lighter topics.

—

Over the next few months, the bond between you and Azriel deepened. He trusted you with secrets of his life that remained hidden from everyone else. These private conversations became the pillars of your connection, sweet moments for you only.

As the months went by, an unspoken desire for more lingered between you and Azriel. Yet, despite the magnetic pull, something kept you from going the final step.

You've had countless close moments where you almost kissed, where just a tip-toe closer would have sealed the deal. But it never happened. So close, yet so frustratingly far away.

—

Mor's question disrupted the laughter and gossiping of the girls' night, the clinking of wine glasses punctuating the anticipation in the air.

"Remind me again why you and Azriel aren’t a couple?”

Mor's curiosity hung palpably, shifting the mood from gossiping to an interrogation.

“Well, it’s kinda complicated,” you replied, swirling the wine in your glass as you gathered your thoughts.

“We have a great connection, but there's this unspoken understanding between us. It’s like there's a boundary we're afraid to cross.”

Amren raised an eyebrow, her sharp eyes observing you closely. “Unspoken understanding? Fancy fucking excuse”

Elain giggled and nodded in agreement.

You chuckled, “Maybe it is, but it’s like we're both tiptoeing around something, afraid to ruin what we have. I mean, do I want to be with him? Yeah, I do. But we might fuck something up and I think we have too good of a relationship to throw it all away.”

Nesta leaned back with a smirk, “Sounds like a case of unresolved sexual tension. Maybe the only cure would be to finally get a good dicking.”

You shot her a look, “You make it sound like a medical condition. Also that has got to be some plot from your smutty books.”

Feyre chimed in, “Maybe it is. Maybe it's time you took a bold step to see what happens. Who knows, it might get you laid.”

The group erupted into laughter, but underneath it, you couldn’t ignore the truth in their words. You liked him, there was no denying it. But did he like you as much?

—

“Is she dating anyone?” Rhysand’s casual question caught Azriel off guard as he browsed his big wine selections with Cassian while the girls where out of the house.

Azriel feigned ignorance. “Who?”

Rhysand and Cassian exchanged a knowing look. “Y/N. Is she dating anyone?”

Something about the question irked Azriel. “Why the hell do you care?”

Rhysand shrugged nonchalantly. “Just curious. I might set her up with someone.”

Azriel's jaw clenched as he fought to mask his frustration. Rhysand's casual tone grated on his nerves, igniting a simmering jealousy he hadn't realized he harbored. Suppressing a sigh, he forced himself to respond evenly,

“She's a grown female, Rhys. She doesn't need you playing matchmaker for her.”

Cassian chuckled, sensing the tension in the air. “Easy, Az. No need to get defensive. I think little Y/N might want a lover of her own, no?”

Azriel's gaze hardened, a flicker of annoyance flashing in his eyes. “I'm not being defensive. I just don't appreciate your implication. And no, she doesn’t need some lover.”

Rhysand raised an eyebrow, his smirk bordering on mischief. “Interesting. And why is that?”

Before Azriel could formulate a response, you had returned with the girls, your laughter echoing through the room, shifting the focus away from the questions. Azriel sighed, silently cursing Rhysand's annoying questions and the unresolved feelings stirring within him.

—

You turned off the tap and brought the glass of water to your mouth, much needed after the amounts of wine you and the girls had downed. It was honestly a miracle Mor had the energy to winnow you to the house of wind.

As the girls walked to the library for more drinking, you snuck into the kitchen for some water.

You put down the tall glass of water, swallowing the refreshing and cool drink before your body tingle.

Your stomach flipped, blood heating as your skin broke out in goosebumps.

His presence was undeniable.

Azriel was here.

Turning around to leave the sink, you saw him standing there behind the island, looking at you with a soft look that made your stomach flutter and cheeks heat.

"Hi," Azriel greeted softly as you approached him.

"Hi, Az." you replied, feeling a surge of warmth at the sight of him.

"Did you have fun with the girls?" he asked, his voice gentle.

"Yeah, I did," you answered with a smile as you looked down.

Azriel's lips twitched, and he gently lifted your chin with his pointer and thumb. He looked down at your midnight blue dress and raised his brows

"You look absolutely breathtaking."

Your heart beat faster and faster and you were damn sure your friends upstairs could hear how hard it drummed against your chest.

You leaned into his touch, the move careful and intentional. Azriel’s thumb rubbed against your jaw, your eyes glistening in awe at his handsome self.

”Thank you. It’s nothing special, I just like the color.”

Azriel's gaze softened, his eyes lingering on yours with a tenderness that made your knees weak. "It's not just the color," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's you. You’re beautiful."

A blush crept up your cheeks at his words, and you bit your lip nervously, unsure how to respond to such sincerity. But damn, he looked good, and the alcohol in your system made you feel bold enough to speak your mind.

"You look really good," you said, your voice a little breathless. "This shirt suits you."

Stepping closer, you let your hand rest on his sturdy chest, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips, the tension between you palpable. Slowly, your hand traveled down to the planes of his stomach, each movement filled with anticipation.

As you looked up at him with a mischievous smile, you played with his belt, the air crackling with the electric energy of the moment. His reaction was immediate, his gaze flickering with desire as the tension between you reached its peak.

Azriel clenched his jaw, his hand moving to the back of your neck, pulling you closer until your breaths mingled. The sudden proximity caught you off guard, making you gasp softly.

"Careful," he murmured, his voice low and tinged with desire. "Let's not do things we can't handle."

Your breath hitched at his words, a shiver running down your spine as his proximity sent electric sparks coursing through you. “That sounds like a challenge, Azriel,” you taunted, your voice barely a whisper.

Azriel’s smirk widened, his gaze burning with intensity. “Consider it an invitation.”

You looked at each other, breathing shallowly. Azriel’s intense gaze softened gradually as his eyes traveled further down to your lips. He swallowed, pupils wide with lust.

"May I-"

"Yes."

It was a tender, sweet kiss that caught you off guard in the best way possible. You didn't expect him to be so gentle, but you welcomed it wholeheartedly.

His touch was tender yet reassuring. One hand cradled the back of your head, while the other wrapped around your waist, drawing you closer to him.

You melted into his embrace, savoring every moment of closeness. Your hands found their way to his neck, clinging to him as if you never wanted to let go.

Azriel’s shadows swirled around you lazily, one trailing up your calf and causing you to twitch in surprise. Pulling back, you were met with his clouded, lustful eyes. A mixture of concern and confusion cleared up his hazy gaze.

Suddenly, the reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks. Here you were, in the kitchen, making out with Azriel—the very male you'd had a crush on for what felt like an eternity. Panic surged through you, and you took a step back, needing a moment to collect yourself.

“Are you okay?”

“Mhm, I’m fine, just give me one second,” you managed to stammer out before turning on your heel and practically stumbling out of the kitchen.

With your heart racing and your mind in a whirlwind, you burst into the library where the girls were lounging, each with a glass of wine in hand. Feyre perked up at your arrival, offering a lazy smile.

“There you are, was wondering where you went,” she mused, clearly already feeling the effects of the alcohol.

Without thought, you blurted out the bombshell news. “Guys, Azriel and I kissed.”

The revelation seemed to sober up the entire room, and suddenly, you were bombarded with questions and reactions from your friends.

“Oh my gods, finally,” Mor exclaimed, practically jumping in her seat

“Is he a good kisser? Was it rough or soft? How did he hold you?” Nesta fired off questions, her curiosity piqued.

”All of you owe me 10 cold coins each. I’m always right,” Feyre slumped back in her seat, sipping the wine as she nodded happily.

“I knew you were up to something while we were in here,” Amren chimed in with a knowing smirk.

You grinned widely as you shared all the details with the girls, who were just as excited as you were. They leaned in, eager to hear every bit of the story.

As the questions swirled around you, Elain’s confused expression brought the conversation to a halt.

“Wait, why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be kissing right now?” she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

You froze, the weight of her words sinking in. “Well, yes, we were just... making out, and I had to come here. I panicked.”

In response, your friends practically shoved you back outside, Nesta taking the lead. “And don’t you dare come back until your legs are shaking and you have a big smile on your face,” she declared with a mischievous grin.

You took a deep breath, suppressing your smile as you made your way back to the kitchen. Azriel stood there, leaning against the kitchen island with his feet crossed and arms over his chest.

“Are you sure you’re okay? We don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable,” he said, his voice laced with concern.

You softened at his words, stepping closer and wrapping your arms around his neck. Pulling him down slightly, you gave him a loud kiss that ended with an audible "mwah."

"I really couldn't be more comfortable. I love you, Az. Like a whole lot," you confessed, your voice filled with sincerity and affection.

Azriel's eyes softened at your words, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He brushed a stray strand of hair from your face, his touch gentle and tender.

"I love you too," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "More than I can put into words."

You felt a rush of warmth flood through you at his admission, your heart fluttering with happiness. Without another word, you leaned in and kissed him again, the feeling of his lips against yours sending shivers down your spine.

Azriel grabbed your hips and slowly backed you into the kitchen island. You yelped when he picked you up and put you on the counter, deeping the kiss.

“Let me take you on a date. I want to do this properly,” he whispers breathlessly between kisses as he tucks your hair behind your ear.

You put your hands on his chest lovingly as you nod, smiling up at him. “I’d love that.”

—

extra scene where rhys and cassian visit azriel in the kitchen:

Azriel stood frozen as you left, his mind going into overdrive, worrying if he had done something wrong. Just as he was about to follow you, Rhys and Cassian popped their heads into the kitchen.

"Yo. Where did she go?" Cassian asked, scanning the empty kitchen.

Azriel furrowed his brows at the pair, or rather their heads.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Go before she comes back," he urged, shooing them away with his hand.

Rhys leaned against the kitchen island, a satisfied grin on his face. "It's about damn time."

Cassian nodded in agreement. "Fuck yeah, took him long enough. But hey, better late than never."

Azriel frowned, feeling the weight of their words. "You guys make it sound like it was some kind of mission."

Rhys chuckled. "In a way, it was. And you finally completed it."

Azriel sighed, "Stop talking like that, you sound fucking ancient.”

Cassian smirked at him, arms over his chest as he said “Y’all kissed?”

Azriel's cheeks flushed slightly at Cassian's question, but he maintained his composure. "Yeah, we did."

Rhys raised an eyebrow, a teasing glint in his eyes. "And?"

Azriel shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "And it was... nice."

Cassian laughed, clapping Azriel on the back. "Nice? Come on, tongue?”

"Yeah, tongue,” he said trying and failing to suppress a smile.

Rhys raised an eyebrow, a teasing glint in his eyes. “I knew it, you little freak. What else?”

Azriel's expression turned guarded. “Okay, that's all you dickheads need to know. Now, get the fuck out before she comes back.”

Rhysand’s eyebrows shot up, a finger wagging in Azriel’s face. “You better not fuck in my kitchen, I swear to the Mother, I’ll make you both scrub every inch.”

Azriel rolled his eyes and ushered them out, leaning against the kitchen island, waiting for you.

[theglassesgirl]

Calypso vs Antinous: A Tale of Two Villains

I know this is such a weird topic for me to come back for after not blogging for months, especially I’ve never spoken on this fandom here, as opposed to TikTok. But precisely BECAUSE tiktok is so limiting, even if you make various videos on a topic, someone won’t have all the context and the comment system of that app is pure ass so here I am

Calypso and Antinous are two (out of three!) of the MAJOR villains in the Wisdom Saga, however, both these villains have produced polarizing discourse that has fascinated yet confounded me. On Calypo’s end, she is a villain who many are made upset by when she is interpreted as the villain she is (in varying degrees). On Antinous’s end, he is a villain who many are made upset by when he is interpreted as anything BUT the villain he is (in various extremes). What on earth happened here?

I’ll try to dissect what has transpired as i have come to understand both situations.

PLEASE try to read through the end, but if you like, you are also more than welcome to just focus on one section if you don’t care for both discourses or how i think one affects the other. I totally get it. KEEP IN MIND, that i might speak about something you haven’t PERSONALLY seen, but as i often say in fandom, just because YOU didn’t see it, doesn’t mean it didn’t HAPPEN. It adds context to why/how certain fans are reacting as they are. You could be in one camp, and never have seen what the other camp has, so at any point where youre reading and saying to yourself “is this a thing that happened?” Consider that it did indeed, happen, and you are welcome to expand your knowledge on the subject.

ANY comments that go “you have no idea what your talking about/this isn’t true/i’ve never seen this/when did this happen(sarcastically)” will not be answered and you will be blocked, because it is clear you are not actually open to discussion. You’ve made up your mind about these characters and topics, and my time, at least, is valuable.

GENUINE questions like “I didn’t know this/when did this happen (genuine)/can you explain this point more” are more than welcome. I will absolutely entertain character interpretation as well, so long as we’re not trying to “convince” one another, as that isn’t the point of this post. These are two villains who i find fascinating and am wondering why are being treated so differently in discourse spaces.

For Calypso:

I truly and HONESTLY believe that because Calypso is a unique (and lovable! Mind you!) villain, it had led to many of her newer fans to feel uncomfortable with her role in the story. I have seen numerous sides of her discourse and have come with a few iron-clad rules: it is ONLY acceptable to call someone out if they are harassing Wangui, calypo’s VA (which has NOT happened as i am writing this out) OR if an anti-calypso comes into SOMEONE ELSE’s post saying anything like “if you like calypso then you condone her actions” because as what we sane people know, that is just a silly fallacy, OR if they start shit in a cosplayers/fanfic writer/fanartists comment section. ASIDE from these instances, i will be speaking on what none sense has transpired about how Calypso is portrayed in the Musical within her first song, and her future song, because BOTH have been used for utter bias.

A few things to debunk:

FIRST Calypso is NOT cursed to fall in love with anyone who comes across her island. That is a Percy Jackson ONLY addition that has no bearings on her actions in the musical or the original poem.

ALSO though Calypso CANONICALLY RAPES Odysseus for seven years in the original poem, the CHILDREN from that abuse only really exist in secondary sources/works. They NOT in the original poem.

Having said that:

The Ambiguity of Calypso’s actions in both of her songs means that everyone is right when they speculate on what she has done. Odysseus was trapped on her island against HIS will for seven years. He is canonically seen refusing her advances, trying to kill himself, and begging her to let him go and leave him alone. These are UNDISPUTED facts. As such, regardless of how YOU personally choose to interpret Calypso actions, she will always have a CANONICAL victim in the musical. I feel people are forgetting Odysseus when they speak on Calypso and that’s the whole point of her existence in the poem and the musical.

This leads directly into WHY there has been arguments about Calypso’s character. In the POEM, she very much sexually assaults Odysseus for seven long years. He is seen crying nightly and begging to be free. In the MUSICAL, Jorge has decided to leave the situation ambiguous - which, i have seen, does not sit well with current fandom culture. NEW fans of Calypso seem to be very adamant about NOT interpreting Calypso as a rapist, in levels that range for they’re just not comfy with it so decided not to head canon her as such, to other very concerningly speaking about rape survivors in such a way to justify liking a villain when you dont HAVE to justify liking a villain at any point at all ever.

Let’s break it down.

Those who just don’t like the idea of Calypso being a rapist in the MUSICAL are valid. It’s very easy to block and avoid those who have chosen to explore this aspect of her in the musical because they can and are allowed to. I am very pro-finding a space in fandom where you can talk about Calypso without HAVING to mention she might have raped someone. She’s still a villain for having kept Odysseus captive for seven years, but it’s not important. You are more than allowed to love villains, and without the rape aspect, Calypso’s villainy boils down to her physiological and emotionally torturing Odysseus while physically kidnapping him. That’s still ALOT of bad stuff to unpack, if you so want to. You could also not want to! It doesn’t hurt anyone, and anyone who says it does is not being intellectually honest.

The PROBLEM that I’m seeing, is that many of her newer fans…DONT want Calypso to be seen as a villain. At all. Which…is not how fandom works, I’m sorry to say.

While some EPIC fans have interpreted Calypso of being manipulative / selfish even in their most sympathetic analysis of the story (and the current song), others are treating these interpretation as wholly incorrect and somehow a form of harassment. The main caveat to this reaction appears to be, as TikTok puts it, “That Calypso DOESN’T SA Odysseus on the musical”

As we have pointed out, Calypso canonically rapes Odysseus in the poem, while it’s ambiguous in the musical. As we have ALSO pointed out, the ambiguity of the musical allow ALL INTERPRETATIONS to be correct. Something about the RAPE aspect of Calypso’s characterization in this musical, however, is the primary reason this discourse has happened.

Now, as i have said earlier. You are in your RIGHT to not head canon Calypso has a rapist in the musical. In the same vein others also have a RIGHT to head canon Calypso AS a rapist in the musical. But from what I’ve seen, it’s when others interpret Calypso as a rapist that newer Calypso fans leave comments about they’re not “interpreting the story correctly” and not “Judging calypso based on Jorge’s vision” and at first i found it funny…now it’s a bit concerning.

There are two instances that come to mind. One tiktoker made a video where she was in tears saying that it made HER SAD that people were “judging Calypso wholly based on outside sources material” which is disingenuous. As i have said before, even without the RAPE aspect of Calypso, which i will go further into what her newer fans consider “rape”, she is still an antagonist within the musical - she is a villain who keeps Odysseus against his will. To claim that they are calling her a villain for that reason alone is a blatant and useless addition to the discourse. I did not care for it at all. It would have been MUCH MORE constructive for this tiktoker to say that even though Calypso is a villain, the sexual assault is up to individual interpretation, and as all interpretations are valid, it’s better to find people who agree with your head canons rather than start fights with people who don’t share yours. This tiktoker very poorly worded the discourse as a one-sided thing where one side is wrong, and that is simply not true.

ANOTHER tiktoker, who wisely turned off comments because such discussions are impossible on the app, worryingly claimed that a line in Not Sorry for Loving You was absolute PROOF that Calypso did not “rape” Odysseus so it was wrong to interpret her as such, because, and this is a loose quotation “i don’t think Jorge would make Odysseus say something like that HAD Calypso done that to him” which unfortunately leaves fandom discourse into REAL WORLD victim discourse. Holy shit. The line she is referring to is when Odysseus calms Calypso down when she is in the middle of explaining her actions by saying “Calypso i love you, but not the way you want me to” to this tiktoker, it seems illogical for a rape victim to every say these kinds of things to their rapist…which is….NOT it. At all. Fiction, as beautiful as it is, is meant for you to QUESTION “huh…how would this impossible fictional scenario work? What makes this compelling?” It is NOT meant for you to attribute your REAL WORLD assumptions onto a FICTIONAL SCENARIO in order to justify you liking a villain character when you dont HAVE to justify it. You can like Calypso! It’s only weird when you make real-world comparisons like this because a rape victim can and HAS said as much and even more to their rapists in known history. *bonks you* dont do what this person did! Fiction allows you to explore situation that would be traumatizing outside of it in as safe and consensual way! You CANNOT and should NOT ascribe your personal biases on sensitive topics for FICTIONAL characters. That’s not how this works. “real victim wouldn’t x, so fictional wouldn’t y” is a ludicrous statement! You can’t back it up with facts! “Fictional victim does x, so i wonder if there ever would be a situation where a real victim would do y, and would like educate myself on the topic” IS what fiction was made for! OPENing your mind, not closing it for stupid reasons.

But it got me thinking. BECAUSE these fans anchor their arguments on the rape of Odysseus, even when they themselves DONT consider it, what exactly do they consider rape, and why is that ONE act Calypso may or may not do the ONLY reason to call her a villain when she is one, regardless.

Well, I’ve seen a lot of back and forth. Some anti-calypso’s are okay with the idea that Calypso is more of a “kissy-face” monster, a silly villain who, having no concept of what actual love is and what your supposed to do with someone you love, thinks hugging and kissing is the only thing on the table. It still makes this version of Calypso something of a sex pest and is still in line with sexual assault as we see Odysseus is miserable. The gravity of the situation is based entirely on funny fanfics to Odysseus canonically trying to kill himself because of Calypso’s affection. This interpretation (shockingly enough) is also hated by some new Calypso fans.

Because from what i have gathered. “SA” as used in TikTok, had been boiled down to a literal forced insertion of Odysseus’s dick in Calypso’s vagina. Not the literal words “sexual assault” which is an umbrella term for multiple things. But in this discourse “SA” has JUST been used for the ACT of rape itself. That is what new Calypso fans think is criminal. That is what they entirely base her villainy on. Because we will NEVER get confirmation on whether this happened, it’s impossible to engage with some of the newer fans, who dislike attributing Calypso with the villain title because of this one thing and this one thing alone. Any other line, from Calypso saying “and I’m sorry if i pushed you, or if i came on too strong” in her next song, or even her saying “in bed we will climb” is, for some reason, not grounds for others to be allowed to interpret her as, at the very least, assaulting Odysseus physically and sexually in a way without having to have actually raped him. It boggles my mind. Truly. But every argument i have seen has boiled down to the newer fans saying “welllllll, we dont know the context, and Odysseus said —“ when i have already explained that none of that matters. All interpretations are valid. You CANNOT say with certainty that she did or didn’t rape Odysseus. That’s the POINT. You can’t PROVE either, stop TRYING to, it’s YOUR choice and your interpretation can be backed by lyrics/official animatics, but it is hardly an absolute.

It has become a GROWING problem that in videos where Calypso is portrayed negatively, there are at least a dozen newer calypso fans who have to bring up how she is sympathetic, and therefore, not a villain. Which is not true. She is the MOST compelling villain in the epic musical, thus far.

These “fans” say that she absolutely didn’t rape Odysseus which is theory, not fact. And not a theory that can become fact. In the same way that saying she absolutely did rape is can not become fact. They appear to believe everything outside of this hypothetical act, nothing else she does is deserving of her title as a villain, and start arguments in non discourse posts about all the ways she’s sympathetic when it goes hand in hand with what makes her a compelling villain antagonist.

There’s also a newer cope saying that it’s all Zeus’s fault anyway, which has NO bearings on the conversation as, again, despite Zeus being a dick and allowing Odysseus live while not necessarily enabling him returning to Ithaca, it’s still up to Calypso on how she acts towards HER captive. And she straight up chooses violence lmao. Athena asks for “Devine intervention” to an impossible situation, regardless of if it was Zeus’s actions that led to it, it’s also up to him to “untie apprehensions” because Calypso, being a goddess, has complete control over whether Odysseus can leave and SHE won’t. She has to be ORDERD to. By a HIGHER power. Zeus.

Such argumentations as “well if YOU were in Calypso’s situation, wouldn’t you also do the same” are useless fallacies to get into, because you are NOT a goddess who owns an island and is in possession of a man who does not love you. Even if you were, guess what, it still makes you the antagonist. A villain. A knowing one or not.

In fact, since I LIKE interpretations that Calypso isn’t psychologically torturing Odysseus ON PURPOSE, i go as far as to say that her being a genuine goddess who wants love is in fact…..so much more painful, narratively. Because that means she is INCAPABLE of ever being a good person. Her loneliness and fear of being unloved makes her utterly blind to Odysseus’s misery. She HEARS him saying constantly that he misses his family, that all he hears are screams, and that SHE doesn’t know him, but she in turn CANNOT get passed this because she is, at her core, unable to, and thus accidentally triggers him constantly, is delusional about her island being paradise, AND convinces herself that her love is real (when it is not) and that Oddy will love her back if she keeps trying.

THAT is what you call a compelling villain!

As in all Calypso stories. There is NEVER a moment of clarity where Calypso realizes “if i actually love this person, i should let him go” in the musical HERMES is tasked in telling her to let him go. And she, as in all her other stories, goes on a tirade to explain/justify her actions, however you wish to see her being manipulative or honest. Regardless of how you choose to SEE calypso, at the end of the day, she has NO RIGHT to be upset at Odysseus because he was her captive. And REGARDLESS of whether Odysseus’s words are interpreted as him forgiving her, or just placating her, at the end of the day, he is her victim and she ends her next song upset that he is willingly leaving her once he got the chance. With absolutely no hope of him returning her feelings. It’s not his job to make her feel better, she IS an antagonist, and you are allowed to love her no matter how that might upset others. It is ONLY a problem when you take it to such extremes that you are in other peoples comments acting as if Calypso is a real person who needs defending. You are more than in your right to block people who come into YOUR videos accusing you of somehow being a bad person because you like a bad person. That’s not how fiction works.

Once again. My analysis of the Calypso debacle is that for some, calling Calypso a villain upsets them. Because they like her, and they are uncomfortable with the idea of liking a villain. This is a personal grievance that shouldn’t boil into fandom. Know your truth, have fun. You CAN make silly calypso videos. Many have. Her song is a bop, the meaning of the song is hilariously dark compared to the composition. Jorge did his job VERY well. Too well, that the idea of liking Calypso feels either / or when it’s not. TRUST that i would not be on the side of anyone who says “if you like calypso, youre evil”, but I HAVE seen a pattern that because Calypso is likable, than several people have made it their confused mission to tell everyone who is “mean to her” that “if you DISLIKE calypso, YOU are evil”. That’s bizarre to me. Calypso does enough evil actions in the musical to warrant that title regardless of the reasons for her actions, whether she is being purposely malicious or unconsciously so due to her lack of socialization. Being weird about real life SA survivors for a fictional character is never acceptable. For or against Calypso, whether she is a rapist or not, it is up to YOU to find like minded people who share your interpretation, not to argue with people who disagree with you in their own space. She isn’t real. Get over it.

ANYONE WHO HARASSES WAGNUI, COSPLAYERS, OR GOES INTO POSITIVE CALYPSO INTERPRETATION SPACES TO BE PURPOSELY MEAN* ARE WRONG. Otherwise. Leave them alone, they are as valid as you are. “Defending” a character is a waste of time when you could be creating for them. Calypso is a compelling villian antagonist regardless of how uwu or vile you choose to make her. Thus is the beauty of fiction.

(*purposely mean, would, logically, be someone calling you an idiot or a rape apologist for headcanoning her in a positive way. The ideal interaction with a negative calypso interpreter would be “i dont see her this way, but i understand/like your headcanon”)

WHICH BRINGS US TO Antinous:

Hilariously enough. Antinous has the complete INVERSE problem as Calypso, which was also detailed in her section for fairness sake at multiple points, and this problem is much easier to understand. Antinous is a villian antagonist in the musical Epic, and in his debut in the wisdom saga, he is shown (like calypso) to be in direct opposition to Telemachus and Penelope’s goal.

He alludes to sexual assault much more clearly than calypso. He calls Penelope a tramp to her son’s face AND suggests he let them into her room “so [they] can have fun with her” which is in the same vein as calypso saying “soon in bed we will climb” to Odysseus later on that “you (Odysseus) are mine all mine” in her own song. Like calypso, it is told to us that Antinous has been having this kind of vibe for FIVE YEARS* (a fan pointed this out to me! read here🙏🏼) as opposed to calypso’s seven years. Everyone is, usually, in agreement that Antinous is a villain in the wisdom saga and in the overall Epic musical.

Antinous’s VA is ON TikTok, and has spoken about how happy he is that fans consider him a talented person who did a spectacular rendition of such a villainous character. AND YET.

Inversely from what we saw in the Calypso section, where some of her fans are against the notion of her being portrayed as the antagonist she is, for Antinous we have MANY fans claiming that others are not ALLOWED to portray him as anything BUT an antagonist. Unlike with Calypso, where people circularly argue that her allusions to sexual assault are “too ambigous” and lead to much senseless debate on whether you’re “allowed” to like her or call her a villian, with ANTINOUS, there is this claim that he ABSOLUTELY is alluded to sexual assault and therefore, cannot be liked or treated as anything other than a villain.

As i have discussed AT LENGTH in Calypso’s section, this argumentation is pure fallacy.

There have been NUMEROUS thirst videos that have rightfully said that DESPITE the actions of the character, they still think Antinous is hot and likable (the Gaston affect, if you will). Even WITHOUT the disclaimer, it is OF COURSE understood that Antinous fans are NOT rape apologists. That is a ridiculous assumption that serves only to kill any interpretation that someone else can rightfully have.

It’s utterly devoid of nuance or actual knowledge of how to play within fandom and interact w characters.

There have been SEVERAL posts calling Antinous fans delusional for liking him and “reminding” the fandom that he is a bad guy. This serves no purpose and is utterly useless to the discourse. Antinous being a bad guy is not debated. This is factual. It doesn’t (or shouldn’t, because we cannot speak in absolutes) hurt anyone’s feelings to see an Antinous videos depicting him as the villain he is. Like with Calypso it is ONLY acceptable to call someone out if they are harassing Ayron Alexander, Antinous’s VA (which has NOT happened as i am writing this out) OR if an anti-Antinous comes into SOMEONE ELSE’s post saying anything like “if you like Antinous then you condone his actions” because as what we sane people know, that is just a silly fallacy, OR if they start shit in a cosplayers/fanfic writer/fanartists comment section.

Otherwise. Who cares that someone is saying Antinous is a villain? Block the no fun police and enjoy analysis from others who choose to see him purely as what he is, if you want. If you dont, block them to, it’s your space. You have a RIGHT to headcanon Antinous however you want, even make up AUs for him where he’s nice or lives and gets a happy ending, SO LONG AS you’re not in other people’s posts going actually Antie is my uwu child and he did nothing wrong. Cuz then youre just being dumb. And annoying. Fandom is already impatient with genuine disagreement, being a smart ass gets your head dunked in a toilet. I used to think this was common sense.

(And in case you didn’t read the Calypso section, or didn’t see enough of it there, this IS the appropriate response to people who address newer fans of her as rape apologists too, its in her section, i just also thought it was important to touch on the stranger phenomena of her other fans refusing to call her a villain because it makes them personally uncomfortable - it’s very interesting as Calypso is a female antagonist while Antinous being a male antagonist is being treated very differently for the same subject. In any case, it’s a disservice to either character and Jorge’s narrative to get upset about the very real fact that BOTH of these characters are villain antagonists.)

The very CURRENT discourse surrounding Antinous is that he was recently shipped with Telemachus.

The animator for Apollo’s section of God Games was harassed to such a point that she had to make a public apology regarding her ALTERNATE UNIVERSE scenario. And i, personally, think that’s bullshit.

There have been accusations that she was being insensitive to sexual assault survivors, and that she made a dark joke, all of which she addressed in her apology IN ADDITION to her explaining that she is ALSO a survivor of child sexual assault. She took down her work. DESPITE all of this, there are still others who continue to harass her, and claim that they dont want “a rape creator” in THEIR fandom. To those people: you don’t speak for any of us. In the same way you can claim not to believe that the animator is a survivor, i have no reason to consider your concerns in any way shape or form as being in service of victims. It is absolutely not your call, when blocking and scrolling on will ALWAYS be an option for YOU.

Even in the event someone writes Antonio’s fan fiction keeping his canon personality and characterization in a non-canon divergent way it is not grounds to harass people.

In addition to this animator, there have been SEVERAL Antinous shippers who have expressed disappointment that she was essentially harassed into a corner, as they also liked the ship and the AU she created. These people are NOT “weird” they are allowed to express themselves creatively, and if you disagree, dont even bother with leaving any sort of response — i wont read it, my time is important. Stay in your echo chamber. Even if it wasn’t an AU, and someone wants to write for Antinous as he is in the narrative, they are more than allowed to do so. Dark fiction isn’t going to traumatize you or give you cooties. Grow up.

I am MUCH more willing to ride with Antinous shippers than i ever will be with fans who attempt to control how a character is interpreted by others. Because to ship Antinous with anyone, AU or otherwise, you have to have an UNDERSTANDING of why this would be a compelling thing to write/make fanart for. He is an evil character, and it would be FASCINATING to see him in fictional scenarios that (like in the calypso section) lead us to as WHY this would be an appealing and interesting take on someone. It’s OKAY to do it in fiction. He isn’t REAL. It’s not hurting EVERYONE. And more so than with calypso, it IS understood that Antinous HAS victims in Penelope and Telemachus There’s no senseless debate on what he is, a villain, no one is arguing he is a uwu babygirl so please sympathize w him, it’s inherently understood even among his FANS.

This is why find Antonio’s and Calypso’s discourses so polarizing. Because no one is getting offended or arguing that Antinous only acts villainously because of some tragic backstory or sympathetic reason. It would be absurd to.

That’s the appeal of a lovable villain. Because like Calypso, Antinous IS lovable, but in such a different way that you have fans treating both characters as if they’re polar opposite when at the very LEAST, there’s on the same bracket, just different ends of them. Telemachus/Penelope and Odysseus’s plights are being MIRRORED in parallel.

THAT is what floors me about these two discourses. That they are functionally THE SAME yet are being treating as if they aren’t. I’m positive that there is an Antinous fan who detests Calypso in the same way there is a Calypso fan who detests Antinous. These are called biases. Once you KNOW your own bias, it is up to YOU to act right according to them.

You are responsible for your OWN fyp.

The Epic fandom had yet to experience such backwards discourse as this, and I wouldn’t expect Jorge or any of the VAs to dignify such trivial discourse with a response. If you’re the type to bring it up to them, you’re being awful. The popular fandom Epic tiktokers are already way too involved as it is. And even they are getting things wrong.

It almost feels remiss to say that in the NARRATIVE of the musical, both Calypso and Antinous are villian antagonists, while outside of the narrative they become dolls you can play with however you like, so long as we are not in each others comments being obtuse. I don’t expect any of my essay to even make it to a larger part of the fandom. But i HAD to get my ideas written down, because if you don’t see someone else connecting the dots you have, you have to present them yourself. Very “can’t we all just get along?” But hopefully, not as insufferable nor one-sides as others might have been. I tried to bring up ideas/points that i have not seen discussed about these two villains and why they seem to connect and go hand in hand.

Why is Calypso, as a female antagonist, given more grace than Antinous, a male antagonist, who is very firmly given none at all. It very well could be just how they were presented, and if so, ask yourself WHY these villains were presented so differently. What purpose do they serve? What are they trying to accomplish? These are questions more suited for actual fandom collaboration that is being drowned out by circular arguements. It feels like homework, instead of knee-jerk reacting to interpretations unlike your own.

To ME, these two characters are two sides of the same coin. (though I DO think it’s funny that the NEUTRAL phrase to refer to either character is “I hate them BUT” because in reasonable fandoms, this is understood inherently….but in this fandom such decorum seems to be lost? For some reason?? Wisdom saga has brought out a lack of wisdom, I fear.) This is the kind of purity culture that suggest you can’t LIKE a character of their a villain, so you go out of your way to argue they aren’t, or that no one else should like them: that’s bonkers. You might disagree and it might even upset you, but that’s a you problem to have.

Having said that, and if you are POSITIVE that you want to engage in conversation with me, you are welcome to do so.

[pippin-katz]

Arthur’s Love Confession

The word choice for Arthur’s confession is really… interesting. As many people have pointed out, if you remove the pronouns from the conversation, everything Arthur says can be true for Merlin as much as Gwen.

Here’s the thing: I’m a writer. I’ve said this before, and I’ll keep saying it when it comes to posts like this.

If I was writing a love confession from one of my characters, I wouldn’t have what they say be so vague that it would be unclear who they were referring to when taken out of context.

If you showed this conversation to someone who had no idea who these characters were other than a knight and a servant, it would be completely believable that the knight is talking about the servant he’s with.

Hell, Merlin’s reaction to Arthur being unable to say he’s in love and how certain he is that nothing could happen seems a bit strong considering the conversation is about Gwen, not him. He’s her friend and would understandably try to convince Arthur that they could be together, but the dialogue does it in such a round about, vague way before they get to the point. There’s no reason for them to be vague. They both know full well who they’re talking about.

I suppose I have to say this is an opinion of the writing because I can’t claim that the writers did anything with underlying intentions. It’s just seems strange to me how perfectly the description aligns. Even the lines not here could easily have the pronouns swapped and still make sense.

“How can I admit that I think about her (him/you) all the time? Or that I care about her (him/you) more than anyone? How can I admit that I don’t know what I’ll do if any harm comes to her (him/you)?”

It still works. We can’t prove that Arthur thinks about Merlin all the time, but there’s a damn huge amount of evidence that he cares for him deeply and can’t handle him being hurt. Anyone wanting to argue with me on this, go watch The Poisoned Chalice again, which is the FOURTH EPISODE by the way.

Other than that iconic episode, there’s plenty of other things. He doesn’t let Merlin drink the “poison” during the test at the labyrinth. He denies any accusations of him having magic whenever they come up, which is because he genuinely doesn’t believe he has any, but it also has to do with the fact that he would be executed. He always protects him in dangerous situations and tells him to run when things get too dicey. We all know how he acted when Merlin was believed to be dead.

Like I said, it’s weird how well the lines match up. And Arthur looks at him like this before the conversation:

And like this after this conversation:

Maybe I’ve just never had a “true bestie” because I have never looked at someone or had someone look at me like that. Arthur looks so flirtatious in that second gif man.

But anyway! That’s just some thoughts I was having about the love confession!

[rafyki]

Part two of the Goth! Nico/Surfer! Percy!! @neo-kid-funk liked it so much I couldn't not post another part so soon!! That's what your art does to me!! Pure inspiration!!!

This time it's Percy's turn to be a huge loser with a huge crush lmao

Part one, if you haven't read it~

~~~

Percy threw himself on his beach towel, trying his best not to spill his precious drink even in his excitement.

“Annabeth, he smiled at me!”

His friend looked up from the huge book she was reading, a skeptic but fond look in her eyes.

“Percy, he works in retail, smiling at customers is literally his job”.

Percy groaned, took a sip of his drink - not alcoholic, but maybe it could make him forget his huge absurd crush on a boy he didn't even know.

The prettiest boy you've ever met though, his brain usefully supplied. What did it even matter that they didn't really know each other and that they had exchanged perhaps a total of twenty words to each other? Nothing, not when said boy had the prettiest features Percy had ever seen, the most enchanting eyes, the deepest and most beautiful voice, and the most charming shade of pink coloring his nose and cheeks. And, finally today Percy could add to the list that he even had the softest and cutest honest smile ever - because Percy could tell the difference between a “customers smile” and an honest one, and the way Nico had smiled today? It couldn't have been anything but honest, and it had made warmth bloom into Percy's stomach, made his heart grow ten sizes.

“No, Annabeth”, he said, at the cost of sounding like a petulant little child. “He smiled for real! He even laughed a little!”

“Did he?”

“I'm telling you he did!”

She seemed to consider it for a long moment. Percy waited with as much patience as he could muster for her opinion. He could always count on Annabeth being horribly and unapologetically honest with him; he could definitely trust her to be the one to offer him a cruel but needed reality check to bring him back to earth.

She had been the main witness of Percy’s fall into the hopeless (or maybe not so hopeless?) rabbit hole that was his crush for the kiosk boy, had been listening to him ranting on and on about him for probably almost a month now, and had been dragged on the beach way too many times against her will for Percy to ignore her valid as always opinion.

“That doesn’t necessarily mean he likes you, Seaweed-brain, you know that, right?”, she said, and Percy knew, but his heart fell anyway. “Still”, she added, and Percy couldn’t help but perk up at the tone of her voice. He knew that tone - it was the tone she used when she was about to say something optimistic even against her better judgment. 

“I guess it is weird for him to smile like that at customers - at least, I’ve never seen him do it - and we do spend a whole lot of time on this beach and at the kiosk”.

She said the last part with just a tiny little bit of annoyance - but Percy knew her well enough to know that she would forgive him eventually.

“I need your support, Annabeth, you know that!”

“You could take Grover with you next time”.

“I did once, remember? He was even more nervous than me”, Percy said. “Not exactly the best wingman”.

Annabeth rolled her eyes at him. “It’s not like you’re doing much but staring at him and daydream anyway”.

Well, that was a low blow, but true.

“That’s not true”, he still said, just for the sake of it. It earned a raised eyebrow and the most skeptical expression he had ever seen on his friend’s face.

“Percy”, she said, slowly as if she was talking to a kid. “Showing off your surfing skills and hoping he’ll find you so incredibly hot he’ll fall on your knees for you is not doing something about this”.

Ouch. Alright, maybe Annabeth’s reality checks were a little too honest and harsh sometimes.

“You can’t know it won’t work”, Percy said.

She was right, of course - she always was, and Percy hated and adored her for it. 

He sighed, setting aside his drink and looking at the kiosk, his eyes finding Nico right away with practiced experience. He was serving someone, and Percy’s first thought was I wonder if he’s smiling like that at them too - which was stupid, and he knew that too, but knowing it didn’t really change anything. Percy was perfectly aware of how ridiculous he was being, but despite what Annabeth might have said about it, knowledge wasn’t always all that mattered.

He sighed, forcing himself to look away.

“What do you think I should do?”

“Well, you really only have two options”, Annabeth said.

It wasn’t exactly hard to guess what she was referring to.

“Either giving up or finding the courage of asking him out?”.

“Precisely”.

“Ugh”, Percy groaned. “You’re not much more helpful than Grover, you know?”

Annabeth laughed. “You know I’m right, Seaweed-brain”.

“I hate you”.

“Hating me won’t make you date the boy of your dreams”.

The boy of your dreams - oh, he really was, wasn’t he? Percy didn’t even know when exactly he had started to be unable to think about Nico, to want nothing more than to talk to him and get to know him for real; things had degenerated pretty fast - one moment Nico was just the cute goth boy working at the beach, and then the next he was Percy’s newest obsession.

It was weird - Nico wasn’t exactly his type; he seemed to be all dark and sharp edges, cloaked in black like he was constantly trying to hide in the shadows even under the bright sun. He looked like the kind of person that kept everyone at arm's length, and it only made Percy want to get closer and closer.

He realized his eyes had turned to him again, following his every move. He was talking to his friends, his words accompanied by wide hand gestures - Percy had noticed this habit of his before; it was adorable, really. Percy wanted to talk to him and see it from up close.

“He’s so pretty Annabeth, I’m gonna die”.

That was probably the thousandth time Annabeth had heard him saying that, so the roll of her eyes was definitely justified.

“Then go talk to him and ask him out”.

Percy groaned. She made it sound so easy.

He got up, took his surfing board again. “Maybe”, he said. “But first I’m going to see if my plan of being too hot to resist is gonna work”.

“You’re ridiculous”.

“Thanks, I didn’t know that”.

Annabeth rolled her eyes again and went back to her book. Who even preferred reading a book on a beach instead of going into the water? Percy would never understand that.

He walked towards the water with his mind still fixed on the same thought. He wondered if Nico liked the ocean - maybe they could enjoy it together, maybe Percy could teach him how to surf.

Maybe. If he could actually find the courage of asking him out.

[dunmeshistash]

I can’t find it now, but you had a post about Kabru being high-masking, and you said you didn’t think he was, which is completely fair! I had a different opinion as someone who is high-masking AuDHD and wanted to share (but of course now I can’t find the post 9_9)

Personally, I read Kabru as being high masking autistic, with one critical difference between us: he’s an extrovert. I’m actually more like Milsiril than Kabru - I collect/make dolls, I’d rather be at home than anywhere else, I’ve been called creepy and weird and gloomy for all of those things, but I also learned how to mask relatively early on, so most people don’t ever get to see that side of me. For me it’s a lot of work and energy- most of the time. If I’m around people I like, it’s less so, but people in general take a lot of my energy. Kabru, on the other hand, is very extroverted. He gets a lot of energy from interacting with people, and for the most part his personality and interests are acceptable to the society he lives in. BUT his interest in dissecting people’s motivations and how they communicate and interact and how to move them in the direction he wants them to go, that’s considered overly intense and creepy even by his party. Kabru keeps a lot of his thoughts and honest reactions internal because he’s aware of how people interact and what is or isn’t acceptable. I do the same thing, and I engage in a fair bit of “manipulation” (neutral) as part of my masking - I know that asking people for advice, showing interest in their lives, complaining together about things, etc, will cause them to view me more favorably and I use that to keep myself “safe”, along with basically never talking about my interests. I’m friendly and open and helpful and I almost never fight back against anything, so people “like” me. It’s not all *fake*, but it’s not the whole truth either. I’d rather not engage in conversation at all, because I can’t talk honestly about my interests without being considered creepy- but if Kabru’s special interest is people and how they interact, to some degree he can talk about his interests without it seeming weird.

Anyways, that’s my perspective :D also thank you for being a Milsiril defender, it’s… really painful to see people calling her manipulative and superior. I know a lot of it is bc ppl DO NOT understand anyone who likes dolls as an adult but like….. liking dolls has less than nothing to do with “needing to feel superior” or in control -_-

Hello!! I collect dolls too!!! Proud to be nº1 Milsiril defender.

That's an interesting perspective! As far as I understand (I'm autistic too so I don't have personal experience to how allistic people work) everyone does some amount of masking, as in everyone has a version of themselves they use to interact with others and that "mask" usually falls when you're with people who know and understand you better

As I understand that type of mask is expected in society? Like you wont act at work the same way you do with your college friends (usually). But as some tumblr post said "we are the mask and the wearer" as in those masks are still a part of who they are.

That's why I said I didn't think Kabru was high masking, I hadn't heard that term before so I was confused

Maybe I don't fully get it but keeping some parts of yourself inside and not expressing it to people who wont understand is common among allistic and autistic people but masking is this but in a way more stressful way? Since you aren't just hiding facets of who you are you're making an active effort to hide the whole thing basically.

Kabru's mask seems to come easily to him and it doesn't seem like he makes an conscious effort to go against his nature to hide who he is that's why I said he probably doesn't do high masking in that sense. But in another sense he IS highly adaptable to the people around him and studies how people act so I understand that perspective! It's more of a personal interpretation tbh.

[crow-in-gotham]

BLOG POST NO. 4 - ALL ABOUT THE WAYNES

Remember that off-handed comment I made about moving into Gotham without proper research? Well, it’s more like no research at all because I just found out who the Waynes actually are.

For you see, I am what my friends lovingly (read: derogatorily) refer to as an internet hermit. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I have lived under a rock for basically my entire life. Well, at least when it comes to anything celebrity related. Hell, I don’t know much about Filipino celebrities, much less foreign ones. The only Filipino celebrities I bothered knowing the bare minimum about is BINI, and the only foreign actors I know are the ones who played in the Harry Potter series.

But back to my main point— yes, I only just now found out about who the Waynes are.

Why? Because I literally share a class with one of them. Actually, scratch that, I’m pretty sure I share a class with two of them—

So I did a little digging (read: my friends were appalled by how “uncultured” I am, and forced me to sit through a 3 hour long lecture about Wayne Lore) and here’s my thoughts.

First of all, Bruce Wayne, or “Brucie” as the media likes to call him, is the biggest fucking teddy bear I have ever seen. Like seriously, if “head empty, no thoughts” was a person, it would be him. Kinda sus (look Ray, internet slang!) to think he’s completely empty up there considering the fact that he, you know, runs one of the biggest enterprises in the entire world? The man is richer than Lex Luthor himself (yes, I know who he is— thank you Lan) and just keeps getting richer even with the amount of money he just seems to throw out everyday.

Honestly I’d be inclined to believe he’s actually some sort of secret super genius who’s just hiding behind a facade of stupidity just to lower everyone’s guard, but at the same time, I, quite frankly, could not give a fuck. The man pays my scholarship, I don’t really care if he’s the human version of a koala or the second coming of Isaac Newton. As long as he keeps doing all the good that he’s doing, I’m good. Overall, seems like a good guy and a nice hugger.

Next up is Richard Grayson-Wayne. Or, as literally everyone apparently calls him, “Dick”. Like, seriously? I know this has probably been said so many times— to the point where if you took all those times it was said by someone and turned it into an audio file, it would probably outlive the universe— but still. Really? Out of all the nicknames, you chose that?

And okay, maybe times were just different back then (shoutout to you old people out there), but was this guy so attached to the name that he just couldn’t be bothered to change it even when the modern day meaning for it was popularized? I mean, seriously, how many spittakes am I gonna have to go through every time my friend (hi Lan) says something along the lines of “I have a thing for Dick”. My friend knows exactly what the fuck he’s doing every time he says this sentence, because he never bothered to add the last name “Grayson” to it. Like, I know you’re gay Lan, but come on. The closet is already made of fucking glass.

Other comments to make? That ass. Like seriously, he tries to hide it by wearing slacks but sir, we are not blind. Those seams are fighting for their lives every time you take a step.

Next one on the list is Cassandra Cain-Wayne. There’s honestly not much else I can say about her other than the fact that I think she’s an absolute angel, and that I’ve replayed videos of her ballet performances for maybe an hour? There’s just something about the way that she dances that just looks so mesmerizing. It reminds me of a swan— beautiful, graceful, and equally as deadly. No, seriously, have you seen angry swans attacking people? Those birds can be fucking terrifying. I don’t know what about her looks so dangerous, but she just does? To me? It’s weird.

I’m not saying she’s a bad person or anything, I’m just saying that in a scenario where someone tries to mug her, I don’t think it would be her who’d end up with stitches. Which, honestly, I respect.

Next is Jason Todd-Wayne. The fucking brick house himself. I mean, come on, just look at one picture taken of him recently and tell me you did not stare for more than 10 seconds. This man is the definition of “If he’s a tree then I’m a squirrel”. Am I completely biased in this case? Maybe. Will I plead guilty? Over my dead fucking body.

The whole “disappeared for a weird amount of time, was assumed dead by the public for a while, then suddenly came back one day out of nowhere” situation aside, this guy is like the prime example of a glow-up. I don’t know what happened during those years he went missing, but he came back looking like a beefed up Princess Anna.

Chunk of muscle aside, there are also a few pictures of him hanging out with the kids that come by Martha’s House (local homeless shelter— thanks WE), and rescuing kittens from trees, and honestly I think it’s so sweet. It’s giving “gap moe” and I’m very much here for it.

Up next is Timothy Drake-Wayne, otherwise known as Tim (because who the fuck says Timothy nowadays—). Now this guy is the reason why this entire post exists in the first place. Why? Because I literally saw him walk right into class and sit literally right next to me (which, now that I think about it, is kinda weird because we were in a lecture hall and— hello, there’s literally 10 other seats in the same line as us?). Now, at first I didn’t really think anything of it— because duh, I lived under a rock remember? I had no idea who he was when he walked in, nor why everyone else in the room was staring at us like our heads were on fire (I checked— they were not), but I was running on 2 hours of sleep and barely any caffeine so I couldn’t give two fucks.

Then this mf (look Ray, abbreviations!) turned to me and just— hands me a bottle of 5 hour energy? That he just took out of his bag?? Now don’t get me wrong, I was thankful and all that, because there was no way in hell I would’ve survived that class without more caffeine making my heart almost palpitate, but also— kinda weird? Didn’t think much of it anyway and just thanked him. We did introduce ourselves to each other, but only with our first names because, you know, who the fuck introduces themselves with their full names unless it’s the first day of class and your professor decided it would be great to “get to know everyone” by doing self-introductions.

It wasn’t until 3 hours later at lunch when I discovered that I had, in fact, talked to Tim Drake-Wayne himself, courtesy of one of my friends (I’m looking at you Rayne) screaming at me.

That was also what led to the whole “sit down and let’s talk about Wayne Lore” that lasted 3 hours.

Duke Thomas-Wayne is the next one. This guy is an absolute fucking sunshine. He’s the other guy that’s in one of my other classes— actually, now that I think about it, we’re in a group together for that class’ semester-long project.

Wtf.

The literal personification of a ray of light is groupmates with me holy shit. “Become group mates with a Wayne” was definitely not on my bucket list for this year but you know what I’m not complaining about it.

Oh god I just remembered the fact that I ended up rambling about seashells for an embarrassingly long amount of time to him because the group wasn’t talking about anything so I ended up making small talk with the person next to me, which ended up being him.

I hope he liked my ramblings about the different kinds of seashells I have??

Last but definitely not the least (I feel legally obligated to say that) is Damian Wayne himself. He’s famous for being the only Wayne child to actually be blood-related to Bruce Wayne (not that that makes the others any less his kids—), and also well-known for the fact that he threatened to shove a cane up someone’s ass during one of the many Wayne Galas. Honestly, I respect it. The threatened person was being an asshole to some other guests and apparently Damian Wayne had enough of his bullshit. It made rounds on social media for an entire year apparently (not that I’d know— I was dead to the internet beyond my little circle of hyperfixations).

Other than that there’s not really much else to say about this guy? Other than the fact that I think he’s kinda cute in the little brother way. There’s a clip online of Tim Drake-Wayne calling him a demon spawn though, which I think is funny as fuck. It’s giving sibling energy to the max. I’m sure there's a good reason why this Damian Wayne has been dubbed the demon spawn.

There’s some honorable mentions for the Wayne Family (you know who I’m talking about) but honestly this has gone on for so fucking long. Maybe I’ll make a separate post about it at some point.

… How the fuck does Bruce Wayne deal with all these fucking kids—

[jaemsljn]

Snow on Concrete | LHC

SUMMARY: You and Donghyuck had been on bad terms for many years now, even though you share a friend group. Your opinion of him is thrown of its axis, however, when you pull his name for Secret Santa. It seems your friend group had finally gotten sick of the tension between the two of you. Can you both get over your pride for the sake of Christmas? Or does it run too deep?

A/N: this is part of a series of fics I'm going to release leading up to Christmas!! I'm very excited its gonna be each nct dream member in a different christmas/winter scenario.. and I'm going to post a prompt list so you can request for other non dream members as well!! I hope you guys enjoy!!

PAIRING: haechan x gn!reader

WORD COUNT: 7121

GENRE: kinda angsty? enemies to lovers vibes, fluff at the end

WARNINGS: cursing, mark refers to reader as man and dude but that's just bc it’s mark reader isn’t actually gendered, mentions your grandma passing in childhood, I think that’s it let me know if I missed anything!

You weren’t quite sure the exact moment your years of not quite silent dislike for Donghyuck began, all you know is that it’s been lingering in the air for what seems like forever now. It didn’t help that you shared a friend group, meaning you had little to no chance of avoiding him.

You tried to like the boy, you really did. There was just something about how cocky he was, that stupid smirk he was always wearing, the color of his dumb eyes, and the way his voice sounded like a melody everytime he spoke that made you annoyed by his presence.

That’s why when Renjun informs you that Donghyuck’s going to be present when you guys hang out tonight you’re half tempted to say no.

“You’re being dramatic. It’s not gonna be that bad.” Renjun scolds as he practically drags you out the door to his car.

“Jun, I know you think it’s not that bad but the whole time we’re in a room together I can feel him quietly simmering at my very existence.”

Renjun chuckles at your dramatics, well used to this weird rivalry between you two.

“It’s not like he’s the only one! You give him nothing to work with, y/n. Do you expect him to be nothing but kind and friendly to you when you clearly don’t like him? Besides, he’s really not as bad as you think he is. You just have to give him a chance.”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes at your far too optimistic friend and instead elect to just take pause as you hop into his passenger seat, closing the door behind you. When Renjun is in the car and beginning to start the ignition you continue the conversation.

“I’ve tried to like him I really have! There’s just something about him that irks me. And it���s not as one sided as you guys make it seem he’s said shitty stuff to me too. Even when he doesn’t say anything to me he’s always glaring at me like I just took out his entire family and burnt down his house.”

“I think you just take everything he does too personally if i’m honest with you, y/n. He doesn’t have this vendetta against you that you seem to think he does. Seriously. He’s never once said anything bad about you when you’re not around.”

You laugh sarcastically at his words, “I find that very hard to believe.”

Renjun sighs at your stubbornness and seems to give up on the conversation. He turns the radio up and you silently look out the window, feeling a little guilty.

The drive passes by somewhat quickly, not another word being exchanged between you and your friend.

When Renjun has finished parking you take a deep calming breath and get out of the car. You begin slowly walking towards Mark’s apartment, leaving enough time for Renjun to catch up to you before you make it to the door.

He rings the buzzer for Mark to let you in and sighs, yet again, before turning to speak to you.

“Will you please just try to get along with him? It’s almost christmas.”

You consider for a moment before relenting.

“Fine. But if he says something rude to me I’m not gonna just take it.”

“That’s fine. I’m not asking you to let him walk all over you. I’m just asking you to attempt civility for the sake of the holiday.”

As Renjun finishes his sentence the door buzzes open and you both begin your ascent up the stairs to Mark’s apartment.

The moment you knock at Mark’s door it swings open to reveal Donghyuck. Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

“Hey Hyuck.”

Donghyuck and Renjun pull eachother into some sort of bro hug and exchange greetings. You stand there, admittedly slightly uncomfortable, as you wait for the two boys to finish their moment. 

When Donghyuck and Renjun turn to you you have to physically suppress the urge to frown at the aforementioned boy. Instead, you give him what hopefully looks like a polite smile. 

He, in return, maintains a completely stoic expression and turns to walk into the apartment. So much for civility.

You look to Renjun with an eyebrow raised as to say Do you see what i’m fucking talking about? 

But he just shakes his head and turns on his heels to enter the apartment. You let out one more self pitying sigh before quietly closing the door and walking into Mark’s apartment.

Mark’s place isn’t the biggest but it’s quite cozy. It’s in the middle of all of your guys’ places so you always end up hanging out here. 

You walk further in and are met by the man in question standing in the kitchen grabbing a large amount of cups to assumingely get drinks for everybody.

“Oh shit! Hey dude! I’m glad you could make it. You mind helping me with all this?” 

“Of course. I’m glad I could make it too I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

Mark smiles at your response, nodding sympathetically.

“Exams have been rough, man. We all missed you though! Why didn’t you come hang with us last weekend?” You silently begin helping mark pull down cups for the drinks as you continue your conversation.

“I was finishing up an essay for my english class. I missed you guys too though.”

Mark makes a face of realization where he stands at the fridge grabbing a diet coke for Donghyuck.

“Oh shit, yeah I think Hyuck mentioned that. Aren’t you guys in the same english class?”

You nod awkwardly. You did have the same english class, but, you’d never actually spoken to him in it.

“Well that sucks, man. I don’t know why she gave you guys an assignment so close to break. Uh, can you just grab those few drinks and i’ll carry these ones?”

You respond affirmatively and grab the few drinks Mark couldn’t carry and follow him towards the living room. As you walk in you overhear the end of a conversation. 

Jeno is saying something about how who you assume is Donghyuck is “completely hopeless” based off the fact Donghyuck mutters a quick “fuck off” before they hear you and Mark enter and they suddenly get quiet.

“Hey! Look who the cat dragged in.” Jaemin is the first to speak. Jumping up to help you with the drinks before pulling you into a hug. 

When you pull away Jeno is right behind him pulling you into another hug, greeting you as he does.

Then comes Chenle and Jisung doing so as well. When you’ve finally been passed around the room to all the boys that hadn’t greeted you yet you grab the free seat in between Chenle and Jisung on Mark’s tiny loveseat. Jaemin and Jeno are squeezed together on an arm chair that’s definitely made for one person. Jaemin is sitting more so on Jeno than the chair in a very typical Jaemin fashion.

Renjun and Donghyuck are on the couch, Mark coming to sit next to Donghyuck, handing him his coke as he does.

Chatter immediately fills the space, everybody lamenting about the exams they had just finished.

You get sidetracked in a conversation with Jisung about the newest Marvel movie that’s just been released when suddenly Mark is standing up and clapping his hands to gather everybody’s attention.

Donghyuck scoffs, “What is this a middle school assembly?”

The fact you have to hold back a laugh makes you somehow hate his presence even more. It seems the boy notices the fact you found him amusing because when you look up at him, barely contained giggle still present on your lips he simply smirks and looks back at Mark.

“Shut the fuck up, Hyuck. Anyways, i’ve made the executive decision that we’re gonna do secret santa. Nobody has the money to buy everybody gifts so this’ll be way easier on our wallets. I already have all the names ready so everybody come up one at a time and i’ll give you a random name.”

Jaemin is the first to stand, making grabby hands at Mark, who had at some point gotten out a bunch of folded pieces of paper from god knows where. 

Mark gives Jaemin a slip of paper and announces that everybody should wait until we all have a name to look at them.

One by one everybody receives a name. You’re the last to go. You get your paper and sit back down at your spot on the loveseat. 

Mark takes his spot back next to Donghyuck and tells everybody to look at their paper.

You slowly unfold the slip.

Motherfucker.

Written in black inc on the paper is the name you had wanted to avoid the most.

Donghyuck <3

And to add insult to injury Mark had put a little heart next to his name, almost as if he knew you’d be the one receiving it. That asshole.

You look up at the owner of the name on your paper and are shocked to find him already looking at you, an unreadable expression on his face. You avert your gaze embarrassed that you were caught looking at him and instead choose to pester Jisung to tell you who he got, trying to ignore that the entire time you can feel  Donghyuck’s gaze burning into the side of your head.

“Jeno seriously! Just trade me! Just this once! I’ll do whatever you want!” You whine at Jeno from the passenger seat of his car. Renjun was staying late at Mark’s so Jeno offered to give you a ride home.

Jaemin laughs from the backseat clearly amused at your suffering.

“Jaemin… please… remember when I wrote your english essay for you? Remember that? Remember how kind and generous I was for doing that for you? Hm?”

Jaemin laughs even harder when you turn your begging to him.

“Neither of us are gonna trade you, y/n. This is kinda hilarious.” You almost hit Jeno for his love of your misery but decide not to just incase it made him accidentally crash the car you were all in. Well. On second thought, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.

“Why did I have to pick his name? The universe hates me. What am I even gonna get him?”

Jaemin cannot seem to stop laughing at your misery. You throw a sharp glare at him which only doubles his clear glee.

“We’re not even supposed to know who you picked, yet you want us to also help you find a gift? Seems a little fucked up don’t you think, babe?”

“First of all, don’t call me babe when you’re laughing at my agony, Na Jaemin. Second of all, I know nothing about Donghyuck’s interests I seriously need help guys.”

The last time you’d heard Donghyuck talk about any of the things he likes it had been years ago and he wasn’t event talking to you. You’d just happened to hear him mention to Mark that he wanted this new playstation game that was coming out. There was no way he still wanted it or didn’t already have it.

“Um, I think he’s into music right now? He’s been mentioning this one band a lot but I don’t remember what they’re called.”

God bless Jeno for giving you something to work with.

“Okay, I can do something with that. Lemme check his social media.”

You pull out your phone and open twitter. You quickly locate his account in your recently searched.

You begin scrolling through his tweets desperately looking for anything mentioning a band or singer.

“Got it!” you pause, sending Jeno a wry glance, “Michael Jackson? Seriously, Jeno? You couldn’t remember Michael Jackson? And you thought he was a band?”

Jeno just shrugs at you and looks back to the road.

“Wasn’t he into collecting vinyls for awhile? Does he have Michael Jackson ones? That would be a good gift, right?”

“Oh yeah and you know nothing about his interests, right?” Jaemin responds with a teasing lilt to his voice.

“Ignoring Jaemin, yes he is still into collecting vinyls and no I don’t think he has any Michael Jackson ones.” Thank the lord.

“He doesn’t. He gave me a quote unquote vinyl haul at the apartment the other day and he didn’t have any Michael Jackson ones.” Jaemin answers, finally deciding to be helpful.

“Alright. I can work with that. This will be fine.” You say more to yourself than to the boys.

“Yeah you definitely don’t care what he thinks of you.” Never mind. Jaemin is never helpful.

“I don’t care what he thinks of me. I just don’t wanna be the grinch of the friend group.” Nobody in the car seems super convinced.

As you end your sentence Jeno pulls up to your apartment. You say goodbye to the boys, giving Jaemin a quick hug when he gets out to take your spot up front before waving them off and walking up to your place.

Alright. Michael Jackson vinyl. You got this.

You stop by a record shop the next day and pick out a few vinyls for Donghyuck. You get a couple really early ones, a few of his later works, and one that has his greatest hits on it for good measure.

On your walk back to your apartment you stop by the store to get some wrapping paper and tape and head back home.

Maybe this wouldn’t be as much of a shit show as you thought it would be.

The date you’d set to exchange your gifts approaches quickly. Chenle had told you he’d had to scramble to get his secret santa gift the day before and you’d laughed at him telling him you’d gotten yours the day after you’d hung out. You felt bad for whoever was receiving the gift Chenle had bought.

You’d gone a bit over the spending limit you’d all set, not even really knowing why. Maybe it was the christmas spirit.

Jeno and Jaemin pull up to pick you up, blasting obnoxious christmas music that you could hear from the stoop of your apartment. 

You pull your coat tighter around you to combat the biting winter air and walk to his car as fast as you can.

The minute you’re settled in the back of the car Jaemin is turning to you and speaking with a teasing grin.

“So, did you get his gift?”

You roll your eyes at him before responding.

“Obviously I got him a gift, Jaemin. I wouldn’t just not get him anything i’m not that much of a dick.

Jeno mutters something under his breath along the lines of only to Donghyuck but you choose to ignore it for the sake of Christmas.

The car ride is spent with all of you loudly singing along to Jaemin’s holiday playlist.

When Jeno pulls up to your destination you begin to feel almost nervous. What if Donghyuck absolutely hated the gift? What if he already had all of these vinyls? 

You pause for a moment.

Why do you care what Donghyuck would think about the gift? It’s not like you like him all that much anyways. You shrug it off as the holiday spirit getting to you once again. 

Your thoughts are interrupted by Jeno opening your car door, clearly exasperated that you were taking so long judging off the sudden burst of chivalry.

The three of you make your way up to Mark’s apartment and the nerves begin to build again. 

Why were you so anxious?

Jaemin knocks on the door, cutting the silence. This time Mark is the one to usher you all into the house. 

He’d given all of you the same cheesy Christmas bag to put your respective gifts in so people couldn’t figure out who their giver was based off the wrappings. Pretty smart on his part in all honesty.

You three take off your winter gear and make your way into the living room. You find that all of your friends had beaten you there.

In the week you hadn’t been to his apartment Mark had decked it out in a shit ton of christmas decorations. He even had a small tree decorated in the corner of the room.

The room was dim and lit by christmas lights lining the corners of the walls and adorning the tree. He had his TV quietly playing christmas music, it was amazingly cozy and cute.

Everybody stands up to greet the three of you, Mark taking your gifts to set them with the rest of the ones sitting under the tree. You hug all the boys until you’re left staring at Donghyuck. You’re taken aback by how… well… adorable he looks. 

He had a red sweater on that has “Merry Christmas” written in loopy letters on the front. The sweater is tucked into a pair of black skinny jeans that look absolutely amazing on him. His dark brown, almost black hair is parted in the middle, a few strands falling onto his forehead. 

The boy just smiles awkwardly at your staring and you swear you can feel yourself begin to blush at the fact you’d been caught ogling the guy you supposedly dislike. You give him a strained smile back and move to sit next to Renjun and Jeno on the loveseat.

When you sit Renjun gives you a look. You don’t have the energy to decode what it means so you simply ignore it. 

“Can we get on with the gift giving? I wanna see what my secret santa got me. As a fair warning though, if it’s another korean textbook i’m seriously hurting everybody in this room.” Chenle says, giving everybody a pointed glance.

He’s obviously still upset over last year’s gift exchange. You weren’t sure who got it for him because they’d never owned up to it. You have a suspicion that’s it was Jaemin because of the note that read “Our baby Chenle needs to study a little more. help jisungie too while you’re at it <3” that was included with it.

Mark agrees and makes quick work of beginning to pass out the gifts.

Your interest in your own gift is outweighed by your nervousness for Donghyuck to open his. You try to ignore the feeling but it gets the best of you and you glance over at the boy perched on the arm chair only to find that, once again, he’s already looking at you.

You notice the way he’s picking at the skin around his fingernails but quickly look back to your gift, not wanting him to notice you staring.

Mark finishes passing the presents out, not without a few comments from your friends, before he’s taking a seat next to Jisung and Jaemin on the couch. Chenle, who had been standing by the arm of the couch takes a seat on the floor in front of Mark.

Mark gives everybody the go ahead to open their gifts and your nerves double. You look over at Donghyuck for a moment before realizing you need to actually open your own present.

You reach into the bag and pull out a small box neatly wrapped in wrapping paper. The paper is covered in cartoon cats wearing santa hats and you almost coo at the sight. Jeno notices as well and comments on how cute it is. You begin to open the gift deliberately, careful not to rip the poor kittens to shreds. 

You swear you hear Donghyuck let out a huff of amusement but don’t pay it much mind.

You finally get the wrapping paper undone and open the box housing your gift.

You gasp at the sight in front of you.

It was an exact replica of a pair of gloves your grandmother had made you when you were little. You absolutely loved them and had been heartbroken when you outgrew them. Your grandmother had passed when you were young so you couldn’t ask her to make you another pair so you simply kept the gloves in a drawer next to your bed, sad that you could no longer use them.

You’re in complete shock. You slip one of the gloves on to find they fit perfectly and your amazement doubles. The gloves were a shade of a darkish sky blue with a white heart on the wrist, accompanied with your name sewed into the right glove next to the little heart. 

They were exactly the same as your last pair. You then belatedly notice a note in the bottom of the box.

“The only picture I had of them was the one you posted on instagram so i’m sorry if they’re not exactly the same. I really tried to match the colors as best as I could and told the lady to make them as close to the original as she was able to. Even if they’re not perfect I hope you like them. I know the last pair meant a lot to you. and i hope you don’t think it’s weird or anything for me to have these made…”

You don’t notice the tears leaking out of your eyes until Renjun is bumping his shoulder with yours and whispering to you. 

“Are you crying?”

You nod shakily and turn to fully show him the gloves. Renjun having known you when you received the original pair, knew how truly adoring you were of those little things.

His eyes widen almost comically at the sight.

“Woah! Those are almost exactly the same! That’s insane!”

You sniffle a little and whisper back to your friend, “I honestly never thought of having somebody make me new ones. I cant believe somebody thought to do this… It really wasn’t you?”

Renjun shakes his head.

“I honestly wouldn’t have thought of that either. That’s amazing though. Makes me feel like my gift giving sucked.”

You let out a soft laugh and go back to admiring the glove on your hand. You stroke a soft finger over the embroidery of your name. It looks exactly the same.

Renjun nudges you once again and points to your bag, there was another box inside.

You smile gratefully and glance up at the others in the room, hoping they weren’t paying particular attention to your emotional outburst. You wanna immediately ask who got these for you so you can tell them how truly touched you are but you decide to wait until everybody’s done.

You look to Mark and find him holding a cheetah stuffie wearing a little snapback, clearly meant to look like him. Jisung next to him has a game for some sort of console, and Chenle below him is holding what looks to be a stuffed animal of a dog.

You then look over at Donghyuck. In what seems to be a new habit for him he’s already looking back at you. But, what shocks you is the soft, almost adoring smile on his face and the fact that his gift sits untouched in his lap. You widen your eyes at him in surprise and he immediately seems to snap out of his stupor and looks down at his gift, awkwardly scratching at the back of his neck, before beginning to unwrap the square shaped present in his lap.

You ignore the way your chest lights up at the smile directed at you and move your attention back to your own gifts.

You carefully remove the glove from your hand and set the pair back snugly into the box, along with the hand written note. You place the lid on top and gently set it back in the bag, scared to somehow damage them. 

You pick up the next box and unwrap it with just as much care as before. You almost laugh when you open it and find a pack of pens and pencils sitting inside. It’s accompanied with a sticky note that says, “Since you always lose yours ;)”

The complete shift in mood from your two presents almost gives you whiplash. You did have a habit of constantly misplacing your pens and pencils. But, it confuses you even more about who your gift giver could be. You didn’t necessarily announce your constant missing writing utensils so it had to be somebody you share a class with.

That means it had to be Donghyuck who you share an english class with, or Jisung and Chenle who you share a history class with.

Before you can give it much real thought you remember that Hyuck is opening the gift you got him and look over to see his reaction.

The boy is excitedly flipping the assorted vinyls over in his hands one by one. A barely concealed eager smile adorning his face.

You feel a weight being lifted of your shoulders.

“Should we show off what we got and guess who got us what?” Jaemin asks the group.

Everybody gives various murmurs of agreement and Jaemin takes this as a cue to show off his gift.

“Okay I got this $50 starbucks gift card. Which is literally the price limit. So whoever got this for me I love and adore you. I also got this film for my camera. My guess is… My little Chenle baby?”

“How did you know?” Chenle’s response is almost immediate and very loud, earning a laugh from you and your friends.

Jaemin walks over to the seated boy and grabs at his cheeks, Chenle swatting his hands away.

“Because it was just thoughtful yet distant enough for it to be you.” Jaemin drags his words out and uses that cute voice he does in a typical Jaemin way that has everybody laughing yet again.

Chenle simply scoffs but can’t hide the smile on his lips.

“Alright, since Jaemin guessed you right you go now Chenle.” Mark announces.

Chenle stands from his spot on the floor and looks around at all of you almost… suspiciously?

“I got this plushie that looks like Daegal. My baby. Mark’s sister. The light of my life.”

“Okay Chenle we get it you really love Daegal.” Jeno cuts the boys praise off with a chuckle lining his words.

“It’s important for me to remind you all, Jeno. They also put this collar on it that has her name which is cute. My guess is…”

Chenle looks around yet again narrowing his eyes warily at everybody.

“My guess is Mark.”

Mark smiles at the boy and shakes his head lightly. Jisung then speaks up.

“It was me. I thought you could take it with you when you have to be away from her. So you don’t miss her and stuff.”

Chenle smiles and pulls Jisung into a bro hug, albeit a bit awkwardly because Jisung is still seated on the couch.

Having had his gift revealed Jisung is the next to stand, Chenle taking his seat, cradling the Daegal stuffed animal in his arms.

Jisung holds up the game he’d received.

“I got this game I’ve wanted for weeks now but didn’t wanna spend my money on because christmas was coming up. Renjun’s the only one i’ve really told about it so I’m guessing it was him.”

Renjun gives an affirmative nod and Jisung lights up with a smile.

“Thanks. I’m really happy I got this. You’re the best, my universemate for a reason.” 

Renjun stands and gives Jisung a side hug, laughing as he speaks.

“Yeah, now I just have to listen to you play it all night.”

Jisung laughs a little bashfully and comes to sit next to you on the couch. 

He leans over to show you the game he’s gotten, clearly ecstatic about it. You smile and tell him how cool it looks, not actually having any interest in the game but you know he’s excited.

“Okay, I got these really nice paints. I’ve mentioned them a few times but honestly they’re so expensive I thought i’d have to save up for them for awhile. I’m not really sure who got them but i’m just gonna guess… Jeno?”

Jeno lights up in that eye smile of his and stands up, telling Renjun it was in fact him.

Renjun, in a rare show of true unadulterated affection, pulls Jeno in for a tight hug and thanks him, which Jeno just laughs and brushes off.

Renjun once again sits next to you on the loveseat, this time in Jeno’s spot.

“I got biking gloves. Also, a new strap for my guitar which says my name. So fucking cool. My guess is Jaemin? No wait Mark. My guess is Mark. Final answer.”

Mark laughs and nods pulling Jeno in for another infamous bro hug. 

“I’m glad you like them, man. I was so scared you were gonna think it was lazy or something.”

“What? No, these are so cool. Seriously, dude, thank you.”

Jaemin yells something about how cute the two boys are and with that Mark grabs his little cheetah and begins his presentation.

“It’s a cheetah stuffed animal with a snapback. I’m assuming it’s supposed to look like me? Super awesome. He’s like my son. I’m gonna guess Jaemin?”

“His name is Cheetah Lee. He is your son.” Jaemin says with a smile.

“Bro, how did you get this tiny little hat for him? It’s so tiny! I didnt know they made little hats!”

Marks amazement at that fact a tiny hat for stuffed animals exists is truly adorable and you know your friends agree with the fond smiles filling the room.

“I ordered it online. It wouldn’t be your son without a little snapback.”

Jaemin’s already found his gift giver so he gestures for you to stand up and show yours.

As you grab the little boxes you come to the realization that there’s only one possibility left for who gave these to you. 

You stand there, eyes wide, staring at the boy in question trying to make sense of it all in your head. Donghyuck seems to be avoiding your gaze, keeping his eyes locked on his fingers that he continues to pick at.

You suddenly feel a little ill.

“Uh, y/n? You gonna go?” Jeno asks.

“Um, yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I got- I got distracted. Yeah, I’ll go.” Your friends seem a little confused at your sudden change in emotion but you try to ignore their questioning stares and attempt to swallow the emotion rising in your throat.

“Um, Okay so I got- Well when I was little I had these gloves my grandma made me. They were my favorite things in the whole world especially after she passed. At some point I outgrew them. And she was- Well y’know she passed so she couldn’t make me new ones. So i’ve just kept them in my bed side drawer all these years. I guess I posted them on instagram? And somebody had new ones made.” 

You pause and try to blink away the tears filling your eyes, opening the box to show the the gloves.

“It seems dumb but i don’t know… those gloves meant so much to me and for some reason I just never thought of getting new ones made. And it’s crazy because these look exactly the same even down to the color of the thread that says my name.” A small hiccup leaves your mouth as tears begin to steadily flow from your eyes. This is… humiliating.

“I think I need a second… Just… give me a second.”

You’re immediately booking it to Mark’s front door, slipping your shoes on, and walking as fast as you can down the stairs to get outside.

It’s not until you’re outside that you realize it’s the middle of winter and your forgot your coat.

More tears leave your eyes as you look down at the gloves clasped in your shaky palms.

You distantly hear the apartment building door open and shut rather harshly. You turn and expect to see Renjun or even Mark but instead you’re met with Donghyuck standing in front of you.

His shoes are obviously hastily thrown on, he hadn’t even bothered to tie the laces and his heel was sticking out of one of them.

His coat was crooked on his body and his chest is rising and falling in rapid breaths.

You have no idea how to start. Before you can decide he’s sticking his arm out towards you. You’re confused for a moment before you realize he’s clutching your coat in his hand.

“You didn’t- Sorry I really took those stairs too fast.” He pauses to take a breath and you would’ve laughed if you weren’t fighting the urge to cry and maybe throw up.

“Okay, I think i’m good now. You left your coat. And your scarf. And I grabbed this hat but now that i’m actually looking at it I don’t even think this is yours.” 

That manages to pull a teary laugh out of you. 

“That’s Jisung’s hat.” You tell him through a few weak giggles. Of course Donghyuck would find a way to make you laugh through all of this. You wish it didn’t make you feel worse.

The sound of your laugh makes his face light up in a grin. He suddenly looks almost proud of grabbing the wrong hat. 

“Well, wear it anyways. It’s cold.”

He hands you your coat first and you slip it on, followed by the scarf, and Jisung’s hat that is way too big for your head.

You look at the ground. Still not entirely sure how to say everything you’re thinking without it coming out as some sort of incomprehensible word vomit.

“Did you… Did you not like them? Because I’m sorry if i crossed a line I just thought-“

You cut him off before he can finish his sentence. 

“Are you serious, Hyuck? I fucking loved them. It was so insanely thoughtful. These are probably the most meaningful gifts i’ve ever gotten and I just-“

The tears are back.

“I was such a dick to you. I was so mean to you for no real reason. And I told myself it wasn’t one sided but then you get these gloves made and how did you even know? That these gloves meant so much to me? I didn’t say it in the post.”

Donghyuck looks nervous to tell you but speaks nonetheless.

“I uh overhead you and Renjun talking a couple years ago. It was winter and you said something about the gloves and how every winter you think about them and your grandma… then you posted that picture recently and I kinda put it together. I guess i didn’t really know how meaningful they were but I assumed? You sounded so sad when you talked about it so I just… I don’t know I thought it would be a nice gift.” He’s scratching the back of his neck and shifting on his feet uncomfortably and you seriously think you’re gonna be sick now.

“I thought you hated me…”

Donghyuck’s eyes are wide when he looks up at you. 

“No I never hated you. You just- well I knew you didn’t like me. And it’s embarrassing but I would get so nervous around you. i’m not usually like that. I just didn’t know how to deal with it… so i just avoided talking to you. And then at a certain point I guess you decided you really didn’t like me and honestly… it kinda hurt my pride,” He chuckles dryly before continuing, “It sounds so egotistical but it’s true. I didn’t think i did anything to make you hate me so much and it kinda pissed me off so I started being a little short when we did talk. But, seriously I never hated you. Never.”

You don’t even know what to say at this point. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry i was so mean to you when you didn’t do anything to deserve it. It was just- I don’t even know honestly. You would get so quiet around me that I just assumed you didn’t like me or something. God, Renjun was right I took everything you did so personally. Like whenever I caught you looking at me I assumed you were judging me and it hurt my pride so I just decided I didn’t like you. Once I decided that I was just unwilling to let go of it. God, I am such a fucking jerk Donghyuck. I’m so sorry. For all of it.”

Donghyuck is taking slow steps towards you now. You can’t stand to look at him so you keep your gaze locked on your shoes. But, you can hear the way the snow crunches under his (still untied) shoes as he takes steady steps to you.

Donghyuck softly pulls the gloves from your hands, you’d forgotten you’d still been holding them this entire time.

You’re a little confused at the action. Maybe he’s really just done with you at this point. He’s gonna take the gloves back and he’ll really hate you now.

You’re even more confused when he pulls you hand up and mutters a soft “hold it there” before he’s slipping the glove on your hand with gentle fingers.

He successfully secured the first glove and puts your hand back down at your side, pulling the other hand up to do the same.

This time when he’s done putting the glove on he keeps his grip on your hand, rubbing a little circle on it with his thumb.

“I’m not mad. I mean we both kinda did the same thing right? Just assumed that we hated each other and ran with it. I really like you. I have all this time and I still do. I get if you need time to get used to the fact I’m not praying on your downfall every second of the day like previously thought.” Again, Donghyuck manages to bring humor into any situation.

“But, I guess i’m asking you to go on a date with me. It doesn’t have to be tomorrow or next week or even this month but-“

You cut Donghyuck off by bringing your now gloved hands up to the sides of his face. You look into those big dumb brown eyes of his and cement yourself on what you’re about to do.

You lean in slowly. Giving him time to pull away if it’s not what he wants.

His eyes flutter closed as you get closer and you take it as permission, pressing your lips against his.

The, embarrassingly, many times you’d imagined kissing Donghyuck could never amount to what you were currently experiencing.

The moment your lips touch his he bring his ice cold fingers up to the sides of your neck, holding you into place.

You both ignore the small yelp you let out at the temperature of his hands.

His hold isn’t imposing or forceful but it’s firm, as if to say i’m here. I have you. Finally, finally, I have you. 

You both pull away after a moment and you can’t help the adoring grin that spreads across your face, and grows even wider when you see Hyuck has one to match.

“Fuck yeah. Jeno said I was hopeless i’m gonna rub this in that fuckers face for years.” You can’t help but laugh at the fact that that’s his first thought after kissing you.

“Hold on. How did we end up getting paired up for Secret Santa?”

Donghyuck pulls his hands off your neck, thinking, and places them on your hips instead. You pull your hands off the sides of his face and settle them on his shoulders.

“Mark.” You both speak at the same time.

“I can’t even be mad. He really helped me out there.” Donghyuck says, wearing a shit eating grin.

“Honestly, yeah. I’ll forgive him since it worked out.”

Donghyuck is pulled you in by the belt loops of your pants as he speaks, smirk ever present, “Oh baby it more than worked out.”

Donghyuck captures your lips in his once again, and while you do thoroughly enjoy the feeling you’re beginning to realize how freezing it is.

Hyuck whines as you pull away again, chasing your lips. You give him a small peck to satiate him enough to let you speak.

“While I would love to stand here kissing you all day i’m freezing my ass off. Also, you literally don’t even have your shoes fully on your feet.”

Donghyuck seems like he just realizes this fact as he snaps his eyes down to his shoes that are, in fact, not even fully put on.

Donghyuck agrees to go inside with one more kiss. He’s then linking your hands together and taking slow steps towards the door. A little wobbly due to the state of his Converse.

“Can you not tell the guys I remembered the glove thing for years? They would never let me live it down.”

You walk back into the apartment building, laughter spilling from your mouth.

Maybe it wasn’t such a shit show after all.

little bonus scene!

-----------------------------

“Oh shit.” Mark mutters. Maybe this wasn’t his best plan after all.

The minute the door shuts Donghyuck is on his feet rushing after you. He grabs your coat and other winter gear off the hook and goes to run after you.

“Hyuck, you don’t have a coat on. or shoes.” Chenle yells after him, far too amused when their friend has just run away crying. 

Donghyuck turns on his heels and rushes back to the shoe rack but in his haste his socked feet slip out from under him and he hits the floor with a loud thump.

Silence engulfs the room as Donghyuck sits there on his ass for a moment. Clearly embarrassed.

Jeno is the first to break out into a hysterical laugh and the rest follow quickly. 

“If any of you mention this to y/n ever I will lose my fucking mind.”

The boys just nod at him, still doubled over laughing. 

Donghyuck, with as much dignity as he can in his current situation, stands up and shoves his feet in his shoes. He then yanks his coat off the hook and forcefully slips his arms into it.

He got the wind knocked out of him when he fell but immediately runs to the door and just hopes you don’t notice how out of breath he is when he gets down there. 

Mark yells something along the lines of “go get ‘em tiger” but it’s barely understandable through the laughter shaking his body still.

The only response they get from Donghyuck is a middle finger before the door is slamming and the apartment is left only with the sounds of laughter.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed!! ill be releasing the other members over the course of December. ill post the master list for that in a moment. ill also post a prompt list so you can send requests for skz members or non dream members!! happy holidays!!

[secretly-larry-daley]

I ask nothing specific but also I am All Ears for any other thing you may have to say about mater and mcqueen because!!!! them!!! /pos (also call me weird but I saw your post abt making a child oc for mcmater and!!! I am exploding and would love to hear about that too! /nf)

Man, what isn’t there to say about Mater and Lightning? They have to be the gayest characters put to screen. But I will gladly reach into my mind to talk more about them.

I’m very much under the impression that Mater fell in love first. He kinda always was, but never realized it head on before lightning was nearly killed in Cars 2. My man literally RAN AWAY from a RACE CAR just so lightning wouldn’t take any damage. Now why he didn’t say anything, I’m not quite sure, but it probably would have something to do with not wanting to interfere with Sally.

Now lightning is more of a difficult case. His love for Mater is something that build up in time instead of it being instant like it was with Mater. I think a small turning point was here

When Mater called him his best friend for the first time. He completely shocked him. You can clearly see the disbelief in his eyes. Someone, for the first time in years, unconditionally considered him a friend.

Now, once we get to the second film, those feelings definitely begin to grow for Mater. Even in the first scene of him together, Lightning is extremely happy to see his best friend. Though, this is when we learn that their relationship is somewhat strained. Because Mater doesn’t know boundaries that well and lightning needs to learn to communicate with him while also learning that he needs to accept Mater for who he is.

To an extent. There are some things in Cars 2 that I don’t condone so I think that message could’ve definitely been better.

Anyway, it’s also seen throughout the film that Lightning regrets yelling at Mater. That he’s clearly worried about him. This finally all comes to a head when we get to the aforementioned scene. 

He says a lot of things that are… like come on now

“Mater! There you are, I’ve been so worried about you. Are you ok?”

“I know I made you feel that way before. But none of that matters because we’re best friends!”

“Yes Mater, you are the bomb! That’s what I’m trying to say here. You’ve been the bomb and you’ll always be the bomb.”

“I’m not letting get away again.”

Now if that’s not at least a little gay, I don’t know what is.

And let’s not forget this image here:

Now for Cars 3, there is not much to say since there is not much of Mater. But, there is a specific scene that I would like to point out.

Now you’d think when you’re considering to retire you’d call, I don’t know, your girlfriend? But nah, Lightning calls MATER instead. If you see more of the scene, you’d understand.

Now, finally, for my last point. Cars On The Road.

Oooh boy where DO I begin. So, at the very beginning of the series, Lightning suggests that the two go on a road trip with Mack. Which quickly turns into just the two of them going on a road trip on foot (tire? Yknow what I mean.)

It’s interesting, because you’d think Lightning would be more stubborn about this. That’s a key point of his personality. But no, he just immediately accepts it as is. Yknow why? Because it’s Mater. He always caves in for his best friend.

Even in the lost legend episode, he was acting like a clingy girlfriend like

“But this was supposed to be our time ☹️☹️”

THOUGH, I think a key moment we should look at is near the end of the series. Pointed out by my friend, @kei-maki, they said this moment

Is the moment he realized he was in love. Because Mater loves him unconditionally and only wants the best for him. THATS why he wanted to go on a road trip. So the two can spend time together.

There is so much more I could say, really. But I think this is all the key areas that should be looked at.

Now, I’ll have to make a post about some of my headcanons for the two and my fan children (that’s right, THERES TWO) but for now, this is what I’d like to say

TDLR: They’re gay your honor.

[tocomplainfriend]

Responding to your post about fiction affecting reality: very well-written post and that’s something I agree with wholeheartedly!

Full disclosure: I am a Vivz supporter and don’t really interact with the critique community because of negative past experience (hence the anon), but I really liked your post as it was well-researched and brought up a lot of points that I did agree on. Mostly that, as you evidenced, “it’s just fiction” isn’t a great argument for poorly portraying a serious concept when there can be tangible consequences for that portrayal. And you gave some really striking examples.

In terms of Hazbin, it is not that I believe that Val’s portrayal as an abuser (and consequently Angel’s as a victim) lacks any impact, but instead that it adds a positive one. This isn’t something I’ve researched so the evidence I have of this is personal experience, but as you said in your post that media can affect real life I felt inspired to add to that conversation with how it personally affected me.

So I was aware rationally that a common result of abuse/SA is hypersexuality, like I’d seen that on psychology blogs and such but never really understood it. I’m ashamed to say I thought it was a little weird and very rare. Hazbin was what finally challenged that notion with me. Being able to see how abuse looks and attribute those events to Angel’s actions step-by-step made something click in my head. I even remember that shortly after seeing that episode, I apologized to one of my friends (a survivor themselves) over some judgmental comments I’d recently made over hypersexuality. Said friend also watched Hazbin with me and it’s the reason they talk more openly to me now and we’re a lot closer. Val’s “stupid” behavior in the show and mentioned in Vivz’s comments did not lessen the impact that episode had on me, or make it unbelievable to me that Val could be manipulative. If anything I understand more now that abusers don’t always appear as psychopathic masterminds. And I know my friend finds comments like the Mean Girls one funny and they tell me it’s empowering to make fun of Val’s incompetence.

That’s not the only positive influence Hazbin’s had on me, but the most relevant to your post, I believe. It’s the reason I’m often a skeptic on most criticisms, because my lived experience tends to go against them. You said the negative impact of Val was that people are drawing fetish art of him, but the only time I ever see that art is within critic’s posts. It never shows up in my regular feed, so it looks to me like he’s equally as fetishized as every other character; the unfortunate inevitability of the internet. I can’t say I’ve seen anyone post about stories like mine about learning to understand survivors, but I have heard positive stories from survivors themselves in person and online which lead me to believe that the positive impact outweighs the negative.

Fiction has real impact, very true. But consider that might be a good thing in this case.

Thanks for being respectful!

TW: Rape, SA

I'm a victim of SA myself and that's why I wrote all of this post. If you got something positive out of this piece of media, that's great. Same with victims that saw potion and were okay with it- that valid as much as the people that didn't like it at all. I recommend watching many others shows yourself (or movies, books, whatever) will help you out with sorts of topics in bigger ways. I understand you feel like you got something good out if (and I'm glad) but I do need to say, this is minimal in comparison to other media you could consume regarding the topic!

I personally suffer with Hypersexuality, and the treatment in the show (and merch and otherwise) I found completely wrong. Even if you got to a good understatement of the topic, please put research into it (also outside Tumblr for that matter! There are better places to find stuff about!). Thank you also for admitting your faults over your treatment of hypersexuality and apologizing for it. Many people will never let themselves grasp this concept, so thank you.

If you took Valentino's comparison to Mean Girls or Powerpuff Girl as a way of making fun of him, that's you. I found it, personally, terrible. Specially cause many comments regarding that (that I put on the post) were people actively disregarding the topic at hand. Saying that Valentino is just a karen, or He is Bubbles coded, feels so out of the realm of everything (the last one didn't feel like making fun of him). I don't like the comparison of an active sexual predator to a mean high school girl or a kinder garden girl that's regarded as bubblely or dumb. Feel like you should reach into his actions over It feels diminishing to me and other people (who also complained about this themselves).

People should be extremely careful of what they portray about this topic in media. Other stuff written in Hazbin or Helluva Boss regarding R-pe jokes also is extremely disgusting to me. Never forget that if you think this portrayal is ok, one episode apart it's a gang r-pe jokes towards Sir Pen... and an r-pe joke towards Moxxie in Spring Brakers. Which I find extremely disrespectful to do and adds to r-pe culture as much as any other r-pe jokes (general or towards men) in media. Especially when they want to portray it in a serious way with Angel, where was that energy then? (Don't say Viv didn't write that, she liked a tweet about the Sir pen joke, and the spring braker is written by Viv and Brandon.)

Also, about manipulation:

The tweet right below says that "He isn't manipulating them" because he is too stupid to do so. Responding "The Vees are just meangirls" it's crazy to me.

About "You said the negative impact of Val was that people are drawing fetish art of him, but the only time I ever see that art is within critic’s posts. It never shows up in my regular feed"

Val has being fetishized by the crew itself! The person (who is not an SA/r-pe victim said by themselves, who has being open of shipping ValxAngel and being into r-pe porn) is the one that produce the whole poison part of the episode (also based on his previously non canon ValxAngel comic). You could also go throught the people Viv's responds and likes and it's mutuals with, and they also do the same thing as this crew-member (Raph). Congrats that it doesn't appear in your timeline, tho. If this art appears in a critic post, it is because it's being criticized or brought up to make a point.

[It's not on my blog yet, but I don't like receiving double ask in the inbox, specially of anons! Sorry. I don't know if it's the same person or not, and I don't want to end up receiving 5 asks in my inbox again.]

[alarrytale]

I know you disagreed with me when I said before that I didn’t think Harry was going to put out new music by the end of the year. Of course I still think that, and I don’t believe he’s pushed it off because of Liam.

I’ve seen posts that Harry is selling his London homes, and Stevie for some reason, letting the world know that he has 3 houses in Italy. Just makes me think again that he’s done for awhile. I still believe the never ending tour, the mess with O*ivia, the less than stellar acting reviews affected him way more than we know. I swear, he’s a very different guy now than he was a few years ago. Anytime he’s been in public lately , even going back to James Corden’s last show, you can see him with haunted eyes and physically making himself as small as possible. I think there’s a lot going on with him. He hasn’t said one thing to his fans in a couple of years. That’s not normal for someone in the spotlight or wanting to stay in the spotlight. And I know this might be reaching, but Anne hasn’t seemed herself on IG in awhile, and the podcast she did with Sophie had her talking about having a really bad year.

I wonder what Liam’s death will do to them all. It might have pushed Harry over the edge. I don’t believe he even personally wrote that statement that was put out. Honestly, I don’t see Zayn doing his shows either.

Sorry for the doom and gloom, but my weird intuition is loud.

Hi, anon!

Right now i think a lot of things are up in the air. We don’t know the next steps for either H, L or N, nothing is announced and they're mia. And i wouldn't be surprised if Z postponed his UK leg of tour. The 20th november, when his tour is due to start, might be too soon. We don’t know if H had anything planned for this year, or if he didn’t. Rumours say he did. I don't think he does anymore, and i do think it's because of Liam.

I don't think H is as unaffected by his time in 1D and the industry treatment as it may seem. He's got better coping mechanisms than the other boys, but i also think he's become more withdrawn, quiet and jaded as the years have gone by. He's playing the game, because he loves making music, but considering his mfasr music video, i think he's trying to tell us he knows he's just a commodity, and not valued as a human.

Harry's been investing in and flipping property since he started earning money in 1D. Des is also involved. Harry's got so many properties and sold so many properties in his time, that i'm not surprised he's got three houses in his name in Italy. That doesn’t mean he's living there at all. Rule of thumb is; if we know about it, know where it's located and how it looks inside, he doesn't live there. It's either a vacation home, or something he buys to renovate and then flip it.

I also think it's hard to tell how much Liam's death has affected the other boys. It depends on so many things we have no information about. I don't think we'll know until we see them again, they start talking again and start working again. I hope, in vain, that Liam's death will trigger them to work to change things for the better for themselves. Like lawsuits, end of contracts, end of stunting and coming outs. If everything just continues as is, like Liam was just an unfortunate casualty of the industry, and the vicious circle just continues, then idk where this will all end.

[paalove]

i-if you're taking prompts,,, can you consider one for AkkAye in some fake-dating au? Go wild with it.

SORRY YOU SENT THIS EXACTLY 363 DAYS AGO i counted it as a lovely birthday present. if you are still here - here you go!

(what's the best way to celebrate finally finishing a couple of wips? welcome to chapter 1/4!)

...

Akk sits up, too straight, and watches as Ayan turns a plate, holding a picture-perfect cupcake, just so.

“Is this going to be a problem,” Ayan asks him, eyes pinning him to the seat.

Swallowing, thinking about Kan’s face when he’d admitted to what he saw, Akk says, “No, I- I want to help.”

Ayan smiles – it can’t really be called a smirk, but there might be something superior in it.

He switches that needle-point focus to the table, again, taking a few photos of a plate, then puts his hand on it and takes a few more, and then says, “I didn’t mean the big picture. I meant the date plan – is there someone you don’t want to think you aren’t single?”

Despite the fact he’s not looking at Akk, his foot comes to rest lightly on Akk’s.

Akk blinks.

Someone he doesn’t want – “I’m not seeing anyone.”

“Oh,” Ayan says, leaning onto his elbows, looking at Akk with warm, piercing eyes, “Is it that I’m a guy? Kan said you aren’t straight – is it being out that’s a worry?”

Akk shakes his head, rapid, because if there’s one thing he has to be grateful to Wat and Kan for it’s actually managing to spit those words out to his parents, his first time home from university, his friends both holding his elbows.

And with the half-hour of confused conversation before Akk realised that his parents thought it was him bringing them home, Wat and Kan as both-

“I’m out to everyone,” he says.

“At work?” Ayan asks, tone shifting to a little more curious, a little more searching.

The foot taps Akk’s, absently.

He says, “They haven’t seen- I mean, I don’t talk to them about,” and then presses his lips together.

Ayan is looking, still, not taking any more photos. His foot still rests on Akk’s.

“I don’t really date,” he adds, ears feeling hot.

Nodding, lips twisting into something like a frown, Ayan asks, “Are you asexual?”

“No,” Akk answers, almost before he’s finished asking.

Their feet are still-

Ayan is looking at him, unfortunately, upsettingly appealing frown – it’s not a sad frown, or displeased, a downturned mouth that – well, Ayan is easy to read, so much in his face, and this little motion seems to say, okay, that’s fine, you’re being a little weird – but maybe Akk is just reading into it.

“I’m just busy,” Akk justifies.

Ayan’s needle eyes flicker up to him, narrowed, and he says, “Right. Busy with work?”

He wishes he never said anything to Kan-

No, he doesn’t.

Akk closes his eyes, clenches his fists and doesn’t rub at his temples or face or start feeling his breath go out of control, because it’s been weeks and he’s getting better.

Ayan doesn’t say anything.

He tells him, “There’s more to my work than all of that stuff, Ayan-“

“-Aye,” says Ayan.

“I’ve been busy, but me seeming to date won’t mess up anything,” he returns to Ayan’s question. “We can make the posts.”

Ayan nods.

“Make the posts,” he repeats, seeming to fold down his smile so it’s almost invisible.

Akk shifts in his seat.

But Ayan shrugs and says, “Okay,” and pulls his chair around the table, right next to Akk.

Leans in, puts an arm around Akk’s shoulders that makes Akk close his eyes in embarrassment, the way he’s leaning into Ayan’s warmth.

The café isn’t empty, not by half, and he says, “We shouldn’t move furniture, Ayan-“

“-Aye,” repeats Ayan, annoyed now.

He’s typing as he speaks, but he looks Akk in the eye.

“You need to be less awkward with me,” and takes Akk’s phone from where it sits, face down on the table – Akk reaches after it, as if to take it back, and Ayan pulls it out of reach as he adds, “And less awkward about me.”

He unlocks Akk’s phone – “How did you know my-“

“-Kan,” Ayan says.

Kan knows his phone password?

Humming, doing something, Ayan adds, “You don’t use biometric locks?”

“I don’t,” Akk says, feeling more like the small town boy than the early-career, middle-competence office worker he actually is.

But Ayan nods, “Good call. Maybe don’t use your best friends’ birthdays, though.”

They’re added together, he doesn’t protest – the smile, folded into the corners of Ayan’s mouth, is back.

He’s business-like as he makes the posts.

“Remember,” he tells Akk, focusing on the two phones, “I’m Aye, and you like me.”

“Okay,” Akk says.

Nods.

He’s only agreeing to the name thing – he doesn’t need the-

Ayan doesn’t, really, seem like he wants to be here, the way he picks at the cupcakes and shrugs, the way he barely looks at Akk after that; of course, he doesn’t want to be here, it’s not a real date so neither of them does.

He needs to remember that.

Ayan also, sometimes, with those needle-eyes – fixed on Akk when he mentions or, worse, doesn’t mention, something about work – well, he seems like he doesn’t trust Akk.

Which, of course, he shouldn’t.

…

“My boss lied about an account like that,” Akk tells Kan, palms sweaty. “To the holder, and then-“

He pauses.

Kan’s eyes are wide, he turns around and comes in close and says, “Like, deliberately-“

“-He changed the documents.”

“You’re talking about fraud,” Kan tells him, and Akk knows.

His boss does too.

That’s why-

Well, of course he knows, changing the documents, and besides all that the account holder-

“-They suspect,” Akk adds, “They were talking about legal action.”

They were talking about it.

Before-

…

“You made a LINE post,” Kinley accuses him.

It’s not technically the truth, Aye’s hands on Akk’s phone, but Akk nods obediently.

She walks around to the side of his desk – doesn’t sidle all the way up to him the way she does with some of the others, keeps a little radius that she stays safely outside of, and she isn’t looking at his screen anyway, no need to close anything at all no matter how much Akk’s hands itch with the nerves of it – so she can ask, “Are you dating someone?”

Which is when Daisy appears, summoned by the question, and goes, thank goodness, to her own desk.

Raising her voice, she calls, “His name is Aye,” which Akk nods to, quietly, “His post said they’re dating.”

Did Akk’s not?

He hasn’t actually looked, and he’s not sure why Ayan- why Aye would do it like that, when the goal is to tell people they’re dating, but-

They’re talking, still.

“What’s he like,” and “Since when do you go out,” and more of the same.

Akk’s USB sticks obtrusively out of the computer.

Will they-

No, they don’t know his USB by sight and they’re both plain black ones anyway, there’s no reason to be paranoid.

And he hears a question he’s practiced for, then.

“But how did you meet him,” and Akk’s mind says I didn’t want to disappoint my best friend, he has morals that I can’t live up to but I can pretend-

His mouth, though, says, “He’s a bartender, I met him at work. His work.”

Daisy makes a confused hooting type of noise, typing at her own computer but audible from here.

Kinley, more vocal, says, “Were you there by mistake?”

It’s only half a lie – they did meet for Aye’s work.

When they finally, finally turn away to other things – the screen says, Your device can now be safely removed – Akk flees.

Outside, on the roof, he hears, “Did it go okay? Both parts.”

Aye sounds hopeful, maybe?

“I think so,” Akk whispers, hand cupped around his phone. “It downloaded, I mean. And my coworkers believed it, one went on your profile I think-“

“-Tua yai, are you whispering into your hand?”

He nearly drops the phone.

“Um,” he says.

And Aye, laughing, says, “Talk like a normal person – relax.”

Impossible.

…

They’re grown-ups, now, with real jobs and actual apartments and houses, so Akk blocks the door with his body and says, “Living room,” as sternly as he can.

“Aww, Akk,” Kan complains, but he backs off away from Akk’s bedroom door.

Akk straightens up, lets go of the door frame and says, “We can watch-“

And Wat ducks under and runs past him, diving headfirst onto Akk’s bed.

“Thanks,” he says, bright smile to all appearances earnest. “Your bed’s so comfy.”

“Uh huh,” Akk says.

Giving in, he sits on his bed too, throws his legs over Wat’s stomach and makes eye contact with Kan.

Kan, doing the same, says, “How is the Aye thing?”

“Ooh,” and Wat tries to sit up, then, but Akk’s still stronger so he just ignores the struggles, “Yeah, I saw both your posts – do you want us to, like, verify, or-“

“Just comments, he said,” Akk tells them. “It shouldn’t seem too enthusiastic, or-“

“-It’ll seem fake,” Kan nods, understanding.

Akk thinks he gets it, himself, but he says, “Aye has a lot of rules, for it. Stuff I didn’t think of,” a whole list not to be committed to writing, so he’d drilled Akk and drilled him, alone in Akk’s place – the same living room he can’t get these assholes into, and his eyes flicker to the door without his agreement.

“He’s strict?” Kan asks.

Akk pretends not to see the wiggling eyebrows, which are especially unhelpful because Akk had-

Wat nods at the ceiling; it would take straining his neck to nod at either of them, but they lean over to look at him anyway.

He notices their looks and says, “It makes sense, right?”

Akk looks at Kan; Kan looks at Akk.

“Guys,” Wat tries to prop himself up on his arms, struggling vainly against both their legs as Kan shifts to add some extra weight, “He’s a- ow, dick-“

“-Oh, sorry, man,” Kan says, not letting him up.

“He’s a reporter,” Wat continues, giving up. “He must do this all the time.”

Akk’s mind helpfully furnishes the image of a dozen cafes – a dozen living rooms – all with nameless, less nervous, less lying-

He sighs.

[aestherians]

Defining Paratypes - Once and For All

Word count: ~1450 Estimated reading time: 10-12 minutes

1. Introduction

Language is a funny thing, huh?

In June 2018 I erroneously coined the word “cameotype” — English is my 2nd language and I’ve picked up a lot of words by just noting in which contexts they’re used and then never looking them up in the dictionary. Usually this works, sometimes it doesn’t. I thought a cameo meant an addition, something secondary, or something along those lines. When people discussed cameo-shifts, I knew they were discussing brief, temporary shifts, but it was only after coming up with this word that I realized what “cameo” actually means: A minor role.

That’s absolutely not the meaning I was going for when I made up the word “cameotype,” and I backtracked as soon as I realized my mistake. But I still needed a word to cover that concept I’d originally intended for “cameotype” to cover — to quote my original post: “You know those characters, animals, and so on that make you feel all shifty but aren’t technically kintypes or [hearttypes], yet are still important enough to your therian/’kin experience that you feel like mentioning them somehow?”

In March 2019 I finally shared a follow-up post where I suggested a few alternatives: Paratype (from para-/beside), fratertype/fratype (from frater-/sibling), and sintype (from sin-/together), all of which better describe the concept I was going for. My Anglophonic readers helpfully pointed out that the latter two words sound weird in English, and “paratype” ended up being the most popular word.

And then I never made another follow-up post.

2. An Ill-Defined Definition

I’m not sure why I never wrote a concise definition but in hindsight I’m glad I didn’t. It allowed for 4 years of input and discussion of the term and its scope. Originally, I wanted it to be very broad, covering “anything that doesn’t fit neatly into the established [alterhuman] categories but is still important to your nonhuman identity,” and I thank the gods that that didn’t become the go-to definition. It’s too poorly defined to be useful, and the broadness I was going for is already covered by synpath and vaguetype.

It did, however, end up with a not-much-better definition in Kiera’s Alterhuman Dictionary: “A character, animal, or mythical creature that is not a kin/therio/fictotype or a hearttype, but somehow feels important to your established identity. Some examples of how it may manifest include: inducing shifts of one or more of your established ‘types, showing up as a cameo shift that somehow feels related to your established ‘type, or feeling similar to a hearttype because they remind you of your kintype in some significant way.”

I never got around to asking Kiera to change that definition.

3. Covering all bases

Like I said, I’m glad I ended up waiting so long to write this essay, even if it wasn’t intentional. It allowed me to see a lot of perspectives that I wouldn’t even have considered on my own.

First of all, how do you know if something’s a paratype or something else? After all, it’s possible to have two kintypes that are extremely similar, like two species from the same genus, or two characters who fit the same archetype. If they feel obviously connected, how do you determine if one of them is a paratype or something else? The annoying answer is that you don’t — not really. Alterhumanity isn’t a hard science, we can’t run calculations to determine which identity facets fit into which categories. All our jargon should be opt-in, not something you feel forced to use because you fit a dictionary definition. If your kintype is a labradoodle and you later learn that goldendoodles exist, and you feel like you’re a goldendoodle concurrently with your labradoodle kintype, you can choose to call the goldendoodle a paratype, a kintype, both, or neither. “Paratype” is an opt-in category (no one is forced to use it) and it’s not an exclusive category (if something’s a paratype that doesn’t mean it can’t simultaneously be another kind of ‘type too).

The only requirement for something to be a paratype is that it has an associated identity. It doesn’t exist in a vacuum, it’s always an offshoot of something else. I was a bit wishy-washy about this at first since I was more attached to the “it feels like a hearttype/kintype/something else, but it’s not” part of the concept than the “it feels that way because it’s connected to your preestablished identity” part. But no, no matter how a paratype presents itself, or what the experience of it is, it’s defined by its origin: If your paratype-like feelings don’t exist because of another identity facet, it’s not a paratype.

Paratypes are not defined by their origins in the same way that some folks try to define kintypes - whether a paratype is psychological, spiritual, or something else is irrelevant. A paratype can be a quirk of the brain just as well as it can be a past life. As long as the paratype/your connection to the paratype is an offshoot/extension of a preestablished identity, it counts.

The example I’ve used most often to get the idea across is that I am a bison, and because I’m a bison it’s only natural that I feel a connection to domestic bulls. This connection does feel like a hearttype. Unrelated, I am also unicornhearted. The difference comes down to whether I can separate my otherhearted feelings from other parts of my identity. If I can (like with unicorns), I call it a hearttype. If I can’t (like with bulls) it’s a paratype. It’s definitely splitting hairs, but the distinction is valuable to me.

I did get a question once, asking if a paratype had to be an offshoot of an alterhuman identity, or if it could be connected to a gender identity or a disability. I had not considered that possibility, but I gave it a tentative yes. Especially in light of Mord’s “Alterhumanity is Queer” essay, queerness and alterhumanity is not something I want to split hairs about. If you feel connected to dogs because of your gender, or cats because of your disability, and you want to refer to those connections as paratypes, I’m not gonna stop you. More power to you!

It's also worth noting that throughout this essay I have been using animals as examples, but “paratype” is by no means limited to therianthropic/animalhearted identities. Plantfolk, fictionfolk, objectkin, conceptkin, and factualkin can all use it if they want, and the term can be used for any identity category, from kintypes and hearttypes to headmates and past lives to constels and linktypes. It can even be used for paratypes - in theory, a paratype can have a paratype can have a paratype, ad infinitum. Personally, I’m spiderhearted and as a result I feel strongly connected to other arachnids, including ticks, and as I feel connected to ticks, I feel connected to other ectoparasites, like mosquitoes and lice.

A paratype can have any kind of connection to your preestablished ‘type. I use the bison <-> bull example often because it’s an easy way to explain the concept, but other examples may include a lion therian whose paratype is gazelles, a reptile with a sun paratype, a rabbit with a hawk paratype, a robot with a glitch paratype, a mushroom with a tree paratype, a werewolf with a silver paratype, and I could go on. Even something like a lost love from another life or an entire universe could be categorized as a paratype if you wish to do so.

You can also get noemata from a paratype, or only have one specific version of a species/object/character be your paratype. A paratype can be as vague as it can be specific - it can be every single type of dragon ever, or it can be a specific interpretation of a specific dragon species from a specific book. Essentially, you can have any kind of alterhuman experience be classified as a “paratype” as long as it meets the “offshoot/extension of a preestablished identity” criterion - which led to the excellent essay “How a hearttype gave birth to a parallel life of a paratype - a view on the connection between spiritual and psychological roots for otherkinity” which I implore you to read - but not before you’ve finished the final section:

4. A definition - finally!

paratype, plural paratypes (noun) From para- (prefix): beside, alongside, related to; and type (noun): a particular kind, class, or group

1. (biology) a specimen of a type series other than the holotype 2. (biology) the environmental component of a phenotype 3. (alterhuman community slang) an identity facet that only exists in relation to a preestablished identity

[poisonedapples]

So I’ve rewatched episode 5 of Hazbin Hotel like 10 times now, and I REALLY want to talk about Alastor in this episode since it seemed like it was an Alastor-focused episode disguised as a Charlie one.

First thing, the most popular theory is that Alastor is under contract with Lilith. Which I fully agree with. I also saw this one post about how Alastor might be under contract with someone else, but struck a deal with Lilith that she’d be able to set him free if he did some things for Lilith. Which I kinda hope is true instead because I like the complexity of that a lot more (especially since the only two people who could possibly put Alastor under contract is Lilith and Eve, and I’d love to see them both in this story). But either way, Alastor is 100% at the Hazbin Hotel under Lilith's orders.

And it was REALLY weird to see Alastor suddenly care about the hotel and about Charlie. Because he’s NEVER acted like that before, and it seemed like he was just doing it to piss Lucifer off. But why? Lucifer had no idea who Alastor was. Any beef that they had before that musical number was so one-sided it’s laughable. So here’s my theory: Alastor needs to be deemed as useful to Charlie in order to get whatever he wants from him and Lilith’s deal. And Lucifer, as the only one there that is stronger than him, was an active threat to his usefulness.

Alastor’s job in the hotel is to take care of it. He makes sure the place doesn’t fall into disrepair, and he does anything that Charlie asks him to in order to maintain it. And he ONLY does this because Charlie asks him to. You get a few hints that Alastor is only pretending to care in his conversation with Mimzy:

“You deliberately brought danger to this place. I can’t have that here.”

Look at his face when he says he “can’t have that here”. He’s kicking Mimzy out because he HAS to, not because he wants to. He’s clearly upset he has to say it in the first place, and Mimzy says later that Alastor loves taking care of her. Considering the way they interact and the way Alastor brushes off Husker’s concerns about Mimzy causing trouble, it seems like he actually does. Him and Mimzy are close, and he’s powerful, so cleaning up her messes is just a minor inconvenience for him that’s typically worth it. But here? Alastor can’t afford danger to come here. Because he has a job at the hotel, and he needs to stay on Charlie’s good side. He HAS to be useful to her, not a menace. And that means pushing away the friends he cares about.

Husk is also very well aware of this. That’s why he warned Alastor in the first place. Considering the things Husk said in this scene, wherever Alastor has been for the last 7 years, he took Husk with him. First because Husk knows that Alastor is also “on a leash”, but also just because of the way he said another thing in this scene:

“I mean, you’ve been gone a while. And it’s not like anybody knows why.”

To me, this sounds like Husk does know. Especially since it seems like Alastor uses Husk the most out of all the souls he controls, since Husk is so useful as an ex-overlord. Which is why he tries to warn Alastor about Mimzy. He knows the detail of whatever deal Alastor has, and he knows Mimzy could mess everything up. If she was just an annoyance, I doubt Husk would go out of his way to tell the boss he clearly hates to get rid of her. But if Alastor fails, then Husk is probably at risk too, as a soul under his control. So it’s in Husk’s best interest to keep Alastor afloat as much as he can (especially since Alastor is clearly not as nice to his souls as people may hope, since he left Husk shaking with just a threat. So if Alastor gets into trouble, I wouldn’t be surprised if Husk might face a consequence for “not warning him”).

So, Alastor has to be useful to Charlie. Whatever he does, he has to do his best to stay on her good side. His whole soul is probably dependent on Charlie eventually giving a report to Lilith about how helpful Alastor was. But also, Lilith probably hates Lucifer. I’ve never heard of a divorced couple that doesn’t completely hate each other, and considering Lilith literally took Charlie away from her dad, Lilith probably doesn’t want Lucifer in the picture for whatever reason. So, if Alastor NEEDS to be on Charlie’s good side with this hotel, but then it gets back to Lilith that LUCIFER of all people came back and helped more than Alastor did? He’d be fucked. Say goodbye to whatever hope Alastor had for this deal, because his soul’s getting destroyed and permanently erased with those odds.

And we know Alastor doesn’t do well with people hurting his pride. Considering his face when Carmilla insulted him, Alastor wants to be all powerful and feared by everyone. So if Lucifer came into the hotel and started doing BETTER than him in his one-day stay than Alastor had in five months? Alastor CAN’T have that.

He knows this the second he sees Lucifer. Maybe Lilith warned Alastor about him, or he knows immediately that Lucifer is a threat to his image. Either way, Alastor is immediately in defense mode. And he starts IMMEDIATELY trying to get onto Charlie’s side. Because he NEEDS Charlie to think he’s better than Lucifer, and he needs Lucifer out of there ASAP.

And thus, hence the most confusing moments in this whole episode:

He immediately starts complimenting Charlie, reminding her of how much he’s done for her. Saying he’s proud to fulfill her “bizarre requests” (while also sneakily insulting her in a way that she won’t notice).

And Charlie is desperate for someone’s approval on this project she cares so much about, so she takes the bait. She also probably has developed a soft spot for Alastor after all this time, so she’s happy she’s finally getting her love returned.

The only upper hand that Lucifer has over Charlie’s good word is the fact that he’s her dad, and Charlie is ALSO desperate to have her father back. So what’s the quickest way to not only piss Lucifer off, but remind Charlie of how much he’s done for her and keep himself on her good side?

Well first, reminding her of his constant loyalty:

“Who has been here since day one? Who’s been faithful as a nun?”

Second, saying they’re “like family” and has been more of a dad to her in these five months than Lucifer has ever been:

“You’re like the child that I wish that I had. I care for you just like a daughter I spawned.”

And third, implying that he’s more useful to her than Lucifer could ever be because he’s “the easier help”:

“It’s smart to choose the path of least resistance.”

There’s multiple other moments in this song alone where Alastor tries to up himself over Lucifer, typically by using the “found family” argument to say him and Charlie are closer and that Lucifer “is a dud”. Alastor’s been around long enough to know how to manipulate Charlie’s feelings, and he’s using that to his full advantage to make sure Lucifer doesn’t get in his way with an ally he desperately needs.

It’s all pure manipulation. Alastor may have a soft side that we see with Mimzy, but the Hazbin Hotel is just a means to an end for him. And once Lucifer and Charlie make up, we don’t really see Alastor again. Which makes me wonder how he was feeling after Lucifer was able to get Charlie a meeting with Heaven, something Alastor would never be able to do.

I honestly can’t wait to see how Alastor acts in later episodes. With the extermination coming up, and the reveal of him being under another contract, I feel like we’re going to get more snippets of Alastor’s true motivations, mixed with how Alastor acts towards the souls that HE’S in charge of. Reminding us once again that Alastor may have been human, but he’s still one fucked up dude who has well earned his place in Hell.

This is gonna be a wild next two episodes.

[f0xgl0v3]

Legacies in Camp Jupiter/Just Pjo?

Wow I am on a roll! Anyway I’ve been wanting to do this and the power post just really dragged up this issue in my head back to the forefront, and it is someone that really continuously confuses me on a basic level of how Rick chose to let this category function.

Legacies are a type of Demigod introduced in HoO that are directly related to Gods but aren’t first generation. They are not children of gods but like grandkids, great-grandkids, so on and so on. This is not a new concept, it is as old as myths themselves, the first thing that pops up in my mind was Troy’s royal family was said in myths to be descended from Zeus. That makes someone like Hector (in Pjo-verse vocabulary) a legacy in the Pjo canon.

But.. Legacies aren’t really different to demigods? Like- not different enough that they would get classified as differently-? For several reasons I believe, but the main three points I want to make (because apparently all my thoughts come in packs of 3), is that 1) Legacies and Demigods are shown to have the same godly-ability level as one another/ it’s inconsistent, 2) somewhat through the books themselves they just sort of stop using the word Legacy/Legacies never have anything that set them apart from demigods, 3) this is a new concept to distinguish them (this is the weakest but it feels weird that Rick decided to differentiate Legacies and Demigods when myths never really did too much, but when did Rick care about the source material- okay, that was rude I’m just still annoyed over Ares-)

Anyway,

Legacies and Demigods powers. Legacies are shown to have similar power levels to Demigods, or those powers are inconsistent. I bring this up because it feels odd? That legacies would have a similar broad level of abilities while still being more mortal than god (this depends and I’ll talk about what I think for like hc on New Rome and their legacy population) but we have characters like Bryce Lawerence; who has powers like, shadow travel (the shadow travel is implied but I’ll get into why it’s likely he has some form of enhanced ability to travel), enhanced tracking (also implied but this will fit into the travel thing), summoning the damned souls of those who broke oaths, along with being implied to have visited the underworld at some point because he mentions hearing the screams of the fields of punishment. But let’s also remember that BoO takes place somewhere in 8-9 days (starts July 20, ends Aug 3) the Bryce attack scene is on chapter XXX while Bryce being brought back to the legion is in chapter VI. No less than if I remember correctly like 2-3 days could’ve past. There are a couple things, he’s stealthy enough that Nico doesn’t notice him. We don’t get any confirmation that he’d been following them for a while (from all I know of Bryce’s character I have to assume he wasn’t or he would’ve 100 percent taken the first chance to attack them) but he is able to get from Long Island to South Carolina on foot, and seemingly appear out of nowhere. There is probably a logical explanation but also considering the fact he knows what’s happening to Nico (that shadow traveling fading that doesn’t seem to matter?) makes me consider and lean more to the idea that he can shadow travel (honestly would love to make another post on Bryce Lawerence because no one cares about him but I really find him interesting). But if he can do the (implied shadow travel) and the very apparent necromancy he has the same skill set of Nico! Never mind the tiny little difference in the necromancy, they have the same power and the same level of that power. The difference is that one is a legacy, and one is a Demigod- but there doesn’t seem to be a power difference. Secondly Frank’s shapeshifting thing, I’ll be real and say I just think that’s a thing because like Poseidon gifted it? I think of it as the same way that like the Red panda gift from turning Red is going strong because it was a blessing or whatever. And Octavian, who is (said, for some reason Rick wanted to put in that maybe Octavian never had powers at all but that’s stupid and takes away what little things Octavian has) but he also, doesn’t seem to have a dip in powers? I don’t care much for seeing the Apollo kids but it seems that they all can have varied powers (fitting seeing as Apollo was a god of so many things) and Octavian’s skill doesn’t seem limited in any way (would’ve been great if we got more information on it because we have no idea how it works compared to say, the way we know how the Oracle stuff works) but all of this puts a clear image that from the legacies we know, there doesn’t seem to be a big difference in power. Which is odd, seeing as they don’t feel like they should.

Through HoO Rick really just like- stopped talking about legacies? I’m laughing as I’m writing this but know it’s a saddened laugh because like. Rachel refers to Octavian as Son of Apollo (Which could be argued she doesn’t know what a Legacy is but I feel like since her Oracle powers told her everything else it would’ve informed her of his proper title- or I guess not because the writing didn’t care at all about Octavian-) and I think Reyna mentions Bryce is a legacy though it’s not referenced any more. Bryce just brings up Orcus in some dialogue and that’s about it. If you’re going to bring up a new type of Demigod then why not explore them more? HoO doesn’t explore like anything but still, Frank never has thoughts about his Legacy stuff. We don’t even get any notes about Greek demigods not considering most of the Roman Legacies Demigods because they aren’t the direct Children of the Gods? It just like- Legacies kind of do nothing, there is nothing different about a legacy.

Mythology doesn’t even really distinguish the two? Like- again because I’ve read the Iliad and Odyssey it’s what I always think first. Hector mentions he is also related to Zeus- that there is a distinct thing about demigods like Sarpedon, Achilles, and Aeneas. But there never is something where it calls out, “Oh Hectors great-great-great grandpa is Zeus and that’s super different and crazy” but it’s just “Hectors related to Zeus y’know and he’s gonna kick your butt man >:[“ obviously this is a random point because those are ancient texts. But we have to remember that Pjo is founded off of these myths and the fact that Legacies are a part of these myths but distinctly different (literally everyone who is descended from Zeus which is literally everyone- not literally but like-) operate differently, they are essentially no different than their fully mortal companions other than they can sport a God ancestor and the most convoluted family tree.

Okay. Those are the points that I’ve made. All of those boil down into like “Rick did nothing to differentiate Legacies from Demigods other than slap a different name on them” and that’s a missed opportunity. It’d be like if something like Harry Potter went, “Here are wizards that are said to be different than other magic users but all that’s different are their titles!” That might be a thing I don’t know I don’t consume Harry Potter. But there was a ball and it was slammed into the ground (huh, almost like Rick did that with a lot of things related to Camp Jupiter and the Romans- also the Romans canonically have cars and I don’t like that). But I have some Head-canons about legacies for my re-imagining to hopefully make them, make more sense?

The longer a legacy line is, the more ‘diluted’ the power becomes. Like in the myths, after you hit a certain point most legacies will have incredibly weak powers. This adds to the powers post I made (shameless plug that you should read that one too because I’m proud of it.) and how the legacies affect the Romans view on powers. But this means that the farther you get down a family line the less and less powerful the power is. Say a child of Zeus has children and then like ten generations down the line the descendants could be more resistant to lightning, conduct it easier and attract it a little more, maybe jump a big higher but that’s about it. Example, Michael Kahale In my re-imagining comes from a super duper long line and his powers pretty much are, I look pretty, I’m a little more persuasive from remnants of charm-speak (and I want to buff up the Aphrodite cabin more because Rick really just didn’t care when it came to them)

This doesn’t include ‘gifts’ like Frank’s. I think by the will of the God that blessed the ancestor with it they keep the power strong. This goes the same way for curses, maybe. If the curse is not revered than it probably is passed onto your kid.

In common sense, the fresher the legacy the more potent the power. And sometimes there can be mutations that a child can end up with more potent powers, whether that be the wishes of the Godly ancestor or they just get miracle genes it could act as a soft re-boot to strengthen the powers. For examples; Bryce is a very new legacy, his dad is the direct child of Orcus and Bryce gets passed down all of the cool powers (also need a hc for his mother because she comes from a legacy line) or Octavian was just.. born with the more potent powers, I like to think Apollo noted him and took interest to strengthen his powers for some reason. (Note he also is a legacy of Venus but I haven’t worked out if that affects him and how, but the Venus part is much more downplayed)

Legacies who have mixed godly blood/ several different lines that have merged have a little from everything, their powers are weaker but if like for example a Child of Athena with a Hermes legacy might have a easier time stealing things, or be a little faster than their peers. But these end up very minimal because the direct child aspect overpowers it a lot (idk I don’t know hypothetical demigod genes and how they work so let’s just go with it) this is similar with legacies+legacies though the family will usually stick to one legacy title (sort of how last names are passed on, but a partner wouldn’t take up the legacy title of the family. But a child would) while the powers honestly could be all over the place

Okay that’s all I think right now, if I have anything else I’ll probably make a separate post but for me right now it is very nighttime and I need my sleep so I can crush my siblings in various unserious competition.