#this is a real shitpost

[kumasakka]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ❝ 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐁𝐔𝐊 ! ❞

⋆.˚ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. johan seong x reader .

⋆.˚ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. what are you seeing right now? is johan bullying kids right now — oh never mind those kids were asking him to lend a hand.

⋆.˚ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. ~0.7k words .

⋆.˚ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓. lowkey plantonic. f!readers. established relationship. lookism x questism crossover. safe for minors! crappy writing. johan may seem ooc. I have no plan what this is.

　“—I'M begging you, so please help us one more time! At this rate Gangbuk will fall into Choyun's hands!"

The boy who stood infront of Johan and shut his eyes tightly. But you completely misunderstood — in your eyes, you watched how Johan was bullying a kid who seemed to be around your age, maybe even younger. Or maybe Johan was giving them a lesson. But it still looked wrong from where you stood and you probably weren't the only one who thought wrong.

You didn't hesitate to take action, stomping towards their direction. And with that volume of your loud stomping, their heads turned to you. Two confused, one troubled. "[name]..." Johan muttered, taking some steps back as he sweatdropped. Your expression already said everything — you were giving him an earful for something he did. But he doesn't even know what he did wrong.

And he wouldn't dare to ask since that would result in your earful getting dragged into the length. So no, Johan will not ask what he do wrong even though he knows you couldn't stay mad at him for a long time. He will not take advantage of this fact. Okay sometimes he does, but only if he really needed it. "What are you doing here?" he asked, a sweat bullet formed on his cheek

"Mister, I need to ask you! What are you doing to these poor kids?!" you huffed, accusingly drilling you finger against his chest. Hard chest.

As soon as you turned your head to the other two, they flinched a bit, only relaxing after seeing your gaze soften. "Hey, you good? Did he bully you or was he being mean? Just tell me and don't worry about him." you said, worrying a little that they wouldn't tell you the truth for his sake. "Don't need to lie, I will beat him up for you. Really, I don't look that strong but I am."

"You misunderstood—"

"Lies." you glanced at your boyfriend next to you, your glare sealed his lips.

"I-It's alright, noona." the girl spoke up first — noona? Was it a he or she?

"Yes..! We were actually asking Johan hyung to help us!" the boy added.

Silence took over you four.

"Help you?" you raised an eyebrow. "He and help? With what."

"Erm... It's a long story." he sweatdropped.

"Long story short, we want to unite Gangbuk or else someone else will! And that someone else is the definition of evil." the girl, or boy? explained.

You blinked. "Oh..." you blinked again, closing your mouth before a laugh escaped your lips, "you're joking, right?" You shook your head with a small grin. But the silence proved otherwise. "Wow. Unite Gangbuk. Haha... Haven't heard those two words for a while. Erm, you weren't joking? You two are being serious?" you commented, just to get nods from them. "Sorry for interrupting..."

"Please help us one last time." the boy bowed down again. "I can't explain, but it'll be dangerous for everyone if I lose! I want to protect everyone dear to me!"

Your eyes went to your boyfriend next to you, your elbow nudging him. "Come one, help him. He seems to really need it." you whispered. "Even though I don't know them. They deserve it, don't they?" you smiled innocently as your eyes met and you knew he was still annoyed because you didn't believe him. It wasn't your fault anyway. It's not like it's his first time bullying — beating some people up.

"It doesn't matter what happens to me! However, I can't let the people around me get hurt!"

"...just this once?" your eyes lit up as Johan questioned this.

　　　　　　　　─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

"I'm sorry okay?" you apologized, trailing close behind Johan. "I'll believe you from now on, okay? I'm sorry!"

"Yeah sure..."

"Sorry, okay?! Johan!"

Haru and Suhyeon watched from afar as you two walked away after Johan agreed to lend them a hand for one last time. "He had a girlfriend?" Haru muttered under her breath, blinking several times. Well it was kind of hard to believe to be honest. "A pretty one at that." Suhyeon added with no shame, his eyes lowered and lowered — "ow! Hey, what was that for?!" he cried out, just to see how Haru was furrowing her eyebrows.

"Sorry!"

"Please refrain yourself from letting your eyes wander..."

"I couldn't help myself!" Suhyeon whined before turning to the lone figures again, "do you think she was strong?"

"Based on her looks no. But never judge a book by it's cover I guess." Haru answered and followed his gaze.

"I believe she could've helped us too to be honest..." he mumbled.

"Really?"

"Mhm."

After all, her stats were unmeasurable.

© 2024 kumasakka — do not plagiarize , copy , modify , translate our work !

a/n's note — ngl I have no idea what I just wrote. this is so random, I just wanted to read a little oneshot where yn appears in questism too alongside johan.

[sleeby-bunny]

goddamn gender inflation, can’t have shit these days

[shopwitchvamp]

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

[percydoodless]

so excited for retail employee jax

[violent138]

Superbat getting couples counselling while undercover on mission is extremely funny to me, because Bruce would go overboard and really commit (using dialogue from their real life arguments edited to be less world-ending). Clark (who kind of thinks the whole thing is a little funny and finds Bruce’s performance even funnier) would get a disappointed look from the therapist.

Therapist: "I don't think you're taking this seriously."

Clark: "I am, I just don't think his feelings are very sincere," *looks at Bruce* "it feels a little manipulative."

Bruce, dragging a hand down his face to cover the smile: "You see what I have to deal with?"

Therapist: *writes notes*

Clark: "Wait why did you just write that?"

Therapist: *shifts a little and writes more notes*

Bruce: "And he's so paranoid too."

Clark: *glaring at him* "Me? That's rich."

Therapist: "Okay, let's stop with the personal attacks. This is a safe space."

[foone]

deer girls with antlers

it's really the perfect gender, in my opinion.

It's like; a highly visible way to indicate you're trans, you could have taken steps to try and hide that to pass better BUT YOU DIDN'T, and if anyone gives you any shit you can kill them with your antlers.

what's not to love?

[sabrebash]

Celebrity Lookalike

[fruit-teeth]

Me: maybe I’m not cut out to be a writer…idk what if I’m not good enough

BookTok romance writers: ‘what if you were just a normal school teacher…but the MINOTAUR wanted to get you PREGNANT’

[hamoodmood]

[casualcarpetshark]

[lalaooopsie]

Jason having his priorities straight fr

The most based character of all time

[anbaisai]

Couldn't unsee Aira's hair as literally pink Azul hair so I had to make this once episode 10 of Dandadan dropped

[venator-signum]

kamala khan would have the most horrendous ao3 author's notes known to man

"hey guys sorry the update is late i switched places with an avenger (ajdgrhsh literally crying) and a really cool space scientist lady and then got into a fight and some alien dudes wrecked my house and then I met Nick fury and I was literal space it was crazy and I had to help save the universe and saw said scientist lady give up her life to save all of us... anyways hope you like the new fic, branching out with an arranged marriage au for this one!!!"

[puppyeared]

thanks @chipper-smol for getting me ISAT i will be so irresponsible with the looping

[takemyteawithformaldehyde]

I think the fact that the magnus fandom subconsciously(?) decided to draw Gwen and Elias Bouchard like this should be studied