#this Fandom has got me down bad
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Words by @pinkiepiebones thank you, Zombie!
#Zombie said something about this marker doodle and an illustrated book#and my mind went straight to children's book for some reason.#this Fandom has got me down bad#i swore i would never touch colored Pencils again as long as i lived#my art#renfield 2023#i don't own any blue colors yet hrgg#i do not draw backgrounds so this was a weird time but i could only imagine it as a children's book with either pastels or colored pencil
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STOP I'm thinking about the part in Gravity Falls where Stan shows up with freshly bought (stolen) light bulbs only to see Ford screwing a new one in surrounded by family.
And OH my GOD. AGH.
Stan gets a little (ir)rationally upset about this because... It's.. Guys,,,
Stan perceives it as Ford once again easily receiving the praise and love of their family when he had to fight tooth and nail to receive even half of it.... I'm not well ✋😔
#listen I might be too deep in the fandom space and i might actually be mischaracterizing them completely#I'm not saying that Dipper and Mabel don't appreciate and love Stan because they definitely do!!#I'm saying Stan is seeing Ford reintegrate into their new family and he's seeing him do it. so. easily.#So easily When Stan had to PRETEND to be FORD to get even a chance to be a part of their family again#Stan FOUGHT to be a part of this family#and Ford just gets to slide in and... just. be a part of it.#and i mean duh but also... man Idk#Stan had to pretend to be Ford to get even a smidgen of a foothold to be able to even just... interact with his family#Stan's a family man that HAS to look out for everyone but Ford's just.. family. He gets to just... be a part of them with no real obligatio#And I'm not saying Ford doesn't love his family I'm saying he's very repressed and bad at showing it sometimes#It's just that... Stan fought SO hard to be a part of his family. THIS family. That is all he has EVER wanted#and FORD- who had it and took it all for GRANTED- gets to waltz back in and just.... take it for granted AGAIN#hang on guys i think I'm starting to take this a little personally i need to calm down wow#Okay.... I think I'm good#But you get where I'm coming from#cole's talking#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#grunkle ford#ford pines#stangst#stan twins#These tags really got away from me huh#Ahem-- all that to say I think Stan's vague resentment in that scene is valid!!
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gen loss dump part 2 :]
i have a gen loss playlist so the last two was me hitting randomize and drawing a pic based on the song before it finished. the second one technically isn’t that cause charlie’s inferno isn’t on apple music cause they hate me so it’s way more of the song out of spite because they wouldn’t give it to me.
#spotify is prolly better (definitely is for finding playlists i use spotify to find playlists still and then add those songs to my own lmao#but dad pays for a family apple music subscription and free music streaming is infinitely better then paying for my own spotify#also my wound reference i feel like i let him off easy from the seven foot tall wire security monster#but idk this was drawn a year ago idk what i was doing#like i agree w the vest just being REALLLL bad bruising and internal stuff but i feel like he had wayyyy more open area besides that to get#fucked up besides just his arms#but i guess since the wire monster also got turned off by the button since it didn’t immediately go at ranboo next then maybe that’s still#reasonable idk#generation loss#generation loss fanart#ranboo fanart#continuing my not spamming tags trend so even though i bc puls have tagged all three of them im not gonna#still posting this primarily for me and for everyone else second#OH THE OUTFITS ARE FROM MY PIN BOARDS#I MAKE OUTFIT BOARDS FOR EVERYTHING ITS SO FUN#LIKE EVERY FANDOM IVE POSTED HERE HAS ONE#ITS BAD#and then irl i wear sweats and t shirt lmao#i found mouse trap game board earrings#i spend too much time on those finding highly specific bullshit#the jrwi one is especially cringe cause i have a different section for all of the what ifs#and that shit lasted one (1) episode#also the full color drawing i’m so >:| about it#i need to practice coloring sooooo badly but i always get frustrated w it#i need to slow tf down idk#but thats also from nearly a year ago so
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Can I be mega autistic here and vent for a second and ask if anyone else is lowkey scared for whatever the next RE game is HSBWHDNDJ
#having hyperfixations/special interests combined with a PARALYSING fear of change SUUUUUCKSSS MAAAAANN. IT SUCKS ASS#like realistically I KNOW it’s silly and I KNOW I’ve got nothing to stress over BUT ITS STRESSING ME OUT BAD AND THERES NOTHING I CAN DO#RE4R/Luis has been SUCH a massive comfort of mine and turned into a full blown special interest and I guess the thing I’m most scared of is#the fandom moving on and forgetting abt re4r/luis as a whole which again I KNOW is silly but I can’t control my brain!!!!#and also combined with the fact that Luis probably isn’t coming back to the franchise at least anytime soon is HEARTBREAKING man. like thats#my special interest!! that’s the thing I’ve poured hours of my time into!!!!! I’m scared to see people move on#he’s already a fairly unpopular character in the wider fandom too!! and the fact that the content we do have of him is ALL we’re gonna have?#I dunno that makes me so much more stressed out and anxious than I should be which. again. I KNOOOOOOWW IS SILLY BUT I CANT HELP IT MAN#THE AUTISM!! THE AUTISMMMMM#I dunno I’m expecting Capcom to announce their next game this summer fest and it’s genuinely stressing me out sm which I hate#I hate being so afraid of change it sucks so much man#anyways sorry for the massive vent I just had to get this off my chest cuz it’s been weighing me down massively and making me more anxious#than it has any right to BCNDNENDJXJ#and again the fact that there’s a solid chance we may never see him again at lest not anytime soon is so so so so so devastating to me it#again makes me so much more upset than it has any right to HDNSHENDJDJ#not to mention people who are already weirdly mean and nasty to people who DO like him. I’m Not having a Time rn
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cant believe that after driving the car, riding the train, booking a hotel room, having a nightmare, visiting the father in law, visiting a hospital, making a friend, and escaping an assassin, the incomprehensible Horrors™ are back at it again and harder to bear than ever 🐻
#fandom related#malevolent#i feel just like arthur that after having some Normal Time and time w friends and family the Horrors are even more horrifying than before#also How is this man driving. w zero eyes and one arm and one leg. i imagine John is like#slow down arthur! hit the gas arthur! while steering. and arthur is shifting the gear. except that john has no experience in driving#so it would be like someone during their first ever driving lesson. creeping along slowly. being way too slow or way too fast for a given#situation. cops would stop them bc arthur isn't even looking at the road. he is bumping into so many other cars or the curb.#parking like shit. does john even know what the road signs mean 😭 and oscar got into the car w him#maybe he was too busy reading that book to notice. or too enchanted by arthu#*Arthur#if arthur had a white cane he would constantly lose it while falling down holes or trip over it running from the horrors#i think it's been mentioned only 3 times that he can't see. to those cops on the lake to daniel and the butcher has mentioned it#honestly king shit running around blind and w only one arm and leg w the voice of an ancient god in his voice. also they are fucking driving#*in his head#why can't you edit tags on mobile!!? or do i have to update tumbler for that#anyway ever since starting malevolent ive been realizing i should be more grateful for my eyesight. my eyesight is already bad and i need to#wear glasses 24/7. also i have a diagnosis that has a kinda probability of making me blind once im old or smth#i mean eyesight decreases for everyone as they get older right. but yeah. and i v likely won't have the voice of an older god in my head to#help me see. so gotta be grateful now#i should go to bed it's almost midnight but i have to listen to the next episode i need to know what's going on and what will happen 😭#still hoping nothing further will happen to oscar and that he and arthur will stay friends. if you're reading this and you know this won't#be the case. nnnnggh :')
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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Brings me immense joy to see the Classicvania renaissance happening lately. So much fresh love for the old games, their stories and characters pouring in and despite having moved on to the Souls fandoms myself, I just want to say how glad I am that more people are seeing the beauty of the classic CV games at last ✨️
#sin speaking#(hi i am alive. just about. its autumn at last...)#(i will always have a soft spot for cv and the games. i left the fandom largely bc it was so intolerable as a space due to SOMETHING!!!!)#(but seeing the collective wake-up and newfound love for one of my favourite franchises has made me and my friends so immensely happy.)#(fun fact! i actually only got into Souls games bc a friend of mine kept lamenting [lol] over their desire for a bloodborne style cv game)#(then i played bb myself and a) i agree. i would sacrifice multiple of my organs on the altar for a quirky soulslike cv game lmao)#(and b) that was the beginning of my downward spiral into yharnam and i have yet to ever leave. funny how the dominos fall like that)#(ive been artblocked as all HELL just lately regrettably. very low mood. very low in esteem. very moderately down in the dumps as it were.)#(but seeing all the traction on my old cv art makes me smile. and also cringe bc oof it looks so bad to me now 😂😂😂)#(But that being said i would love to redraw some of it. its vampire season why not. maybe some cv x bb crossovers would be fun too.......)#(anyway hi ive been languishing playing lotf and praying for lop news soon hows your september doing)#(i dont go there but that dbd collab has done wonders for classicvania. imagine how shaken i was to see hd 3d trevor models in 2024. unreal)#(me from 4 years ago would have been OBNOXIOUS about it.)
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whatevers wrong with this man i like it
#i didnt expect to like touchstarved from what id seen from its fandom but when i finally tried the demo i was pleasantly surprised#i looked at the meta first cos i do things backwards and. man. what a good reminder that the most vocal fans also are the most stupid#girl you are misinterpreting The Text so badly that what you consider the subtext is suspicious#i felt bad for the leaps i was making from a single prologue but i see you people are jumping straight off the cliff with nothing so nvm#anyway leander do you want to fuck all your friends. do you want to fuck all your friends that hate you leander#i fear them making a green character associated with flowers snakes ouroboros masks and 8s was specifically an attack against me.#if only i hadn't found this like a year before official release. got dam#i could and would go on but the nurse has arrived with my sedative#its actually genuinely hard to pick a favourite they all have aspects i really like so far#at first kuras' subdued personality kind of washed off me but then his ending to the prologue was v fun and put him in a different light#wtf a vn with characters that are all hits for me. unfair#i love that u can ask them all about each other at the end there. love how its modelling its characters social fumbles#in particular given everything the promo material says about leander and vere and how they talk about each other#u can get a picture of a very fumbled situation there lmaooo between leanders savior complex and veres inability to set down real boundarie#butttt you know them all for less than a day... i wanna know what happened there
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Idk if it's bc I'm like NOT suffering the horrors or if my state of being is why or whatever, but man. I've really been being a yapper, huh?
I say this in reference to my social life lmao
#sepiasys.txt#Old friend from WH random times wanted to make friends again and we did a bunch of dms and I wonder to myself about how I did it#bc even during the moment I thought about how bad i am at conversation; like I can't start or maintain one successfully in many cases. so ye#OMG *FANDOM NOT RANDOM LMAO I DIDN'T REALIZE THE TYPO WAS SITTING THERE STARING ME IN THE FACE#Anyways uh yeah my yapping has been a specific brand of it and I'm just. idk. I'm ig not fully there so I hear myself#and I think 'man I rlly am autistic; huh?' and it's just kinda sad to think about but I try my best 🥺#or some part of me does like the bare minimum ig lmao idk.#No plans for Saturday; might just sleep in tbh. I've been able to eat regularly enough that I feel ok. I might need to like. find an to fill#Saturdays with- I just got interrupted irl. I might need to find smth to fill saturdays with; assuming that S will be home on them#Sunday is spaghetti day :3 I'm doing researches on food in the meantime btw. can work on that and resume tmr ^^#I got interrupted with oreos btw from my roommate/bestie; it confused me /lh#Anyways Yeah I'm gonna write down schedule for da week probably :3 I keep tracks of stuffs ^^ Am glad when I can look back on info I need 😅#OH YA I GOT FREE BUS TICKET. Idk how they work but I have it so thas cool :3#Idk what to say without repeating myself 😅 I also forgor what this post was originally abt. Anyways :3
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I gotta be honest, I don’t engage with the Criminal Minds fandom (despite having watched all of the original show + Evolution and read up on as much of the spin-offs as I could) because I don’t like how prevalent the racism and sexism and infantilization is in the fandom. There’s just enough of all that shit upfront that I don’t want to dig any deeper than I already have. I’m good, I get enough of that shit in fandoms that I’ve been apart of for years I’m not gonna let this shit sully my love for this show anymore than it already has (especially considering the show’s writing itself is not devoid of these faults).
I’d rather just love the show and dissect it and write analysis and fanfic for it and shit on my own.
My fav characters (just cause & kind of in best to least order): Penelope Garcia (she’s literally me, I love her), Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Jordan Todd, Matt Simmons, David Rossi.
#like I’ll never forget or forgive the amount of vitriol Jordan Todd got and still gets from fans despite barely lasting on the show#the hate is disproportionate and reeks of nothing but misogynoir#criminal minds#just the way I saw Ashley Seaver being talked about and how misogynistic the language being used to criticize her character was enough to#throw me off of the broader fandom— and I don’t even like her like that she was just there#criminal minds critical#then there’s how much of the larger vocal parts of the fandom shit on Derek without taking any of the nuances into account from his#character (like they do with there white favs)#and how much bad faith readings of his character are put into people’s opinion pieces of Derek#and I just don’t fuck with that#like it’s weird that all the white characters in the BAU get whole dissertations when people write hcs but the black ones (even Derek) will#get some generic ass hc that’s not even character specific#like everyone gets these well thought out ‘what they’d smell like’ hcs that’re 1-2 paragraphs long & Derek’s is one line that’s just like:#‘he smells like axe body spray because he’s a fuck boy duh’ and that was it#like just no fucking care or effort (Derek is a black man & a womanizer - he’s too refined for the ‘fuck boy’ title) y’all know he smells#like that good expensive cologne that Penelope couldn’t get enough of and that lingered in a room after he left#don’t play with me#I hate how much Reid gets babied too and while he’s not one of my fav characters I still really like him but how much he’s lowkey watered#down in fandom to be the ‘poor little skinny white boy meow meow’ is annoying as shit and undermines his character (in my opinion)#even how centered the male characters are irritates me to some extent but this fandom has more female leading ships than most#the shipping culture is also just toxic af despite that#but yeah#I could say more but I don’t feel like typing in the tags anymore#BYE HEIFERS#✨trix speaks✨
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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Vent post. Because i feel like kicking a hornets' nest.
Honestly im just tired of how people will call someone ignorant/uneducated and will go for the throat for every little thing, while they themselves say shit like pierogis all the time. If you're going to point fingers at others, you yourself should be without fault.
The question is... can you?
#im just so tired of all the shit that i constantly see on the internet#ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEY DIDNT DRAW SOMETHING PERFECTLY#or ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEY USED A DIFFERENT COLOUR PALETTE#ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEIR IDEA OF A FICTIONAL CHARACTER ISN'T UP TO FANDOM'S STANDARDS#i bet other people also get shit like that all the time#for example my friend is a writer and he just happens to be a cisguy and whenever i mentioned it to people#they would instantly start saying that they are sure he writes shit like she breasted boobily down the stairs#or i remember how i got told off for making trahearne lives au because apparently#messing with canon is just as bad as falsifying information in history books#just stop for the love of whatever's devine#this has been boiling in me for so long i cant even express it#sorry for going off in the tags in case you decided to read them#peace out imma go and read a book and touch grass#finally its green and soft again after so many rains and storms so it will be a nice chilling time outside#oh btw proper plural is pierogi without the s. singular is pieróg. you want to add s - say pierógs#ngl that pierogi-pierogis is one of my biggest pet peeves#like i wont be stabbing you over it or throw a tantrum and i will just move on with my day i have better things to do in general than#than throwing fits and also im not omniscient myself#like i dont know all the words in english and my german knowledge is very scarce#so i in no way demand others know about pierogis#just give people some room to breathe for gods sake#ok ok ok i think im overwriting this and i cant edit tags on phone so now fr im gonna go and enjoy outside and watch the squirrels
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It's definitely not the most widely held belief in online fan spaces (at least not at it's full potency, I think a watered down version is more widely felt imo) but I do think some fans approach art and fandom with this weird idea that because a bad story disappoints or even hurts the fans of a work, it's like. A personal and/or moral failing of the creator for making that bad story. And it should be treated with the same gravitas as something with more far reaching consequences and implications. Yknow?
#ramblings of a lunatic#the stuff got me thinking about this (broadly) doesn't even apply to this post it just got my brain going#i have a lot of thoughts about how wild the blogging style is across a lot of comics fandom tumblr#about how it's one of the few fandoms I've been in that genuinely can't claim to be more chill than twitter#bc even though twitter is structurally the platform more designed to produce outrage engagement amonst ppl#comics tumblr is genuinely just so naturally vitriolic that it completely matches twitters energy without those structural flaws#like as in there's no real environmental excuse for everyone being crazy it's just like that here#and the occasional toxicity i stumble upon just kind of made me start thinking about this#i do think a lot of ppl on comics tumblr have valid complaints about the works#i just also see ppl treat disappointing stories as moral failures aside from any ~problematic~ content featured in it#(and also. problematic content exists on a sliding scale that logically should effect critical response but doesn't often in comics spaces)#it's like those callout lists that start w/ ships the target doesn't like and ends with their illegal human trafficking ring#girl let's prioritise a bit#i also think that tumblr is an incredibly insulated environment from comic fan spaces as a whole?#like the sledgehammer approach to crit and the ridiculously high expectations for a famously stupid medium#is in some ways a direct response to the supposed vibe of irl comic spaces (often not dominated by marginalized ppl-#-and therefore socially focused crit of the works is shut down/ignored/not engaged w much-#-and that any bad storyline will be praised and elevated if it has superficial crowd pleasers like big fights and power scaling)#and i think there's some merit to that#but i also think that comics Tumblr suffers from the a lot of the chronically online fanspace hallmarks#there's always going to be a different tone when it's me and comics cashier bitching about gotham war#than it is seeing ppl online post in such a manner that discussion is actively discouraged (bc there's already a didactic tone to begin w)#anyway none of this is unique to comics Tumblr (minus the being equally as rancid as twitter)#and it's not like I'm not having fun. I'm actually having a lot of fun analysing the few moments I'm not having fun bc of All Of The Above#comics tumblr is an ideal test subject for my experiments#and i need to make more art so i can nestle deeper in the bushes to watch the wildlife from afar#anyway. at least 60% of you are alright. 20% I'd argue are even cool.#10% of you are right but annoying about it and 10% of you would've done great as catholic crusaders#but unfortunately were born as queer 20-somethings in the 21st century
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most of the time when an adult self ships with a minor character, they were minors when they joined the fandom, and it's shitty to expect people to stop having a crush on their fictional crush just because THEY grew up but the character didn't
#self shipping#self ship#i started watching bnha in freshman year and it's shitty to expect me to stop shipping myself with tenya deku and kacchan#just because i'm an adult now#i was their age when i started to self ship with them and that love for those characters isn't just gonna go away bc i aged a few years#idk the hatred and hating on people for self shipping with minor characters is shitty i think. especially if they age up the character.#you don't HAVE to age them up in fact in most of my daydreams i'm still their age bc i wish i got to go to ua with them#the hatred for self shipping with minor characters has gotten so bad that even in FRESHMAN YEAR i had a classmate tell me i shouldn't#self ship with them. bc they were minors. and even when i pointed out i was THEIR AGE he still doubled down that i shouldn't do it#well jokes on you motherfucker i still do!#idk. i think if i got into a new fandom i personally wouldn't self ship with a minor from that fandom but the fact that i started#self shipping with them when i was their age#i'm going to keep doing it and i think it's completely fair and valid to do so
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#tag rant#not to get negative on main but every time i think i might be doing okay something happens and i just get so fucking tired again#like this month has been super stressful so far and next month isn’t looking any better#it’s been thing after thing just weighing me down#and i don’t even talk to my friends that much anymore cause im just so tired and sad all the time and like i know talking to them#or engaging in fandom stuff will make me feel better and less lonely but i just feel so bad all the time and i can’t#and today some asshole just blew up at me over a fucking bag charge at work and hunted down my manager to complain about me#and like it’s fine cause my manager trusts me when i said the customer got mad at me and i just disengaged#but it just feels like another thing on me and just wrecked the semi good mood i had today#im just tired and lonely and nothing feels like it’s gonna get better and i just wanna lay down#and i just don’t want tk be that person that’s only ever talking about the bad stuff that’s going on so i pull away#delete later#personal#negative#mj.chatter#me: *disappears from my blog*#also me: *returns to complain*
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