#I could say more but I don’t feel like typing in the tags anymore
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apocalypse-boogie · 5 months ago
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I gotta be honest, I don’t engage with the Criminal Minds fandom (despite having watched all of the original show + Evolution and read up on as much of the spin-offs as I could) because I don’t like how prevalent the racism and sexism and infantilization is in the fandom. There’s just enough of all that shit upfront that I don’t want to dig any deeper than I already have. I’m good, I get enough of that shit in fandoms that I’ve been apart of for years I’m not gonna let this shit sully my love for this show anymore than it already has (especially considering the show’s writing itself is not devoid of these faults).
I’d rather just love the show and dissect it and write analysis and fanfic for it and shit on my own.
My fav characters (just cause & kind of in best to least order): Penelope Garcia (she’s literally me, I love her), Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Jordan Todd, Matt Simmons, David Rossi.
#like I’ll never forget or forgive the amount of vitriol Jordan Todd got and still gets from fans despite barely lasting on the show#the hate is disproportionate and reeks of nothing but misogynoir#criminal minds#just the way I saw Ashley Seaver being talked about and how misogynistic the language being used to criticize her character was enough to#throw me off of the broader fandom— and I don’t even like her like that she was just there#criminal minds critical#then there’s how much of the larger vocal parts of the fandom shit on Derek without taking any of the nuances into account from his#character (like they do with there white favs)#and how much bad faith readings of his character are put into people’s opinion pieces of Derek#and I just don’t fuck with that#like it’s weird that all the white characters in the BAU get whole dissertations when people write hcs but the black ones (even Derek) will#get some generic ass hc that’s not even character specific#like everyone gets these well thought out ‘what they’d smell like’ hcs that’re 1-2 paragraphs long & Derek’s is one line that’s just like:#‘he smells like axe body spray because he’s a fuck boy duh’ and that was it#like just no fucking care or effort (Derek is a black man & a womanizer - he’s too refined for the ‘fuck boy’ title) y’all know he smells#like that good expensive cologne that Penelope couldn’t get enough of and that lingered in a room after he left#don’t play with me#I hate how much Reid gets babied too and while he’s not one of my fav characters I still really like him but how much he’s lowkey watered#down in fandom to be the ‘poor little skinny white boy meow meow’ is annoying as shit and undermines his character (in my opinion)#even how centered the male characters are irritates me to some extent but this fandom has more female leading ships than most#the shipping culture is also just toxic af despite that#but yeah#I could say more but I don’t feel like typing in the tags anymore#BYE HEIFERS#✨trix speaks✨
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rosicheeks · 1 year ago
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hi rosi! well, i was the anon from yesterday or whenever about the fantasy about being with you and read all your tags so like...i guess i'll be an emoji anon! i'll decide by the end of the ask which ill use i guess lmao. how was your day? i kinda wanted to ask like, so i guess you just go in your car and hangout at parking lots or whatever a decent amount, is that just to get some alone time? i forget what your current living situation is. also like what do you do for fun?! i know your a lil weed girly and you do your art (which i love btw, i want to try and buy a piece next time i get some kind of spare money) but is there anything else you like to do? i hope you had a good day whenever you get around to answering this<3 (btw i wanna smooch you i am telepathically kissing you right now) - 🎤
Hi hi hi!! Welcome 🎤 🫶💖
My day was pretty good! How was yours lovely? 🥰
Hmmm why I chill in my car is kinda complicated tbh. But I guess the main reason is so I can smoke and just kinda relax and enjoy myself ya know?
Yes yes yes I am a lil weed girly 🥰😇 and I do love my art (any sort - painting, photography, coloring 💖, scrapbooking, trying to get back into drawing)
I’m also a huge music nerd! I went to a performing arts high school and trained in vocal music. Learned a bunch of music theory and did a buuuunch of voice lessons. My goal was to be an opera singer but life had other plans.
Other than that I’m kinda boring. Just like chilling and watching shows (occasionally movies but I’m a sleepy baby so I usually fall asleep pretty fast).
#ok ok ok let’s get a lil more detailed shall we 😇#I usually reply only in the tags but I KNEW I was going to run our way too fast so I needed to say the basics up there (which felt weird 😂)#I had a pretty good day so far ngl! I was there for moral support for my friend (ended up taking forever but everything turned out good)#now I’m just chilling in my car for the night 🥰#as for why I spend so much time in my car - at the beginning of the year I had to move back with my parents#pls don’t get me wrong ​I’m super grateful to have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in… its just not the most comfortable place#the main problem I have is not being able to smoke anymore (I used to be able to smoke inside at my last place so it’s just an adjustment)#I was hoping to be able to smoke out on the deck downstairs but my dad didn’t like that either#so I just chill in my car and smoke in here and watch and color and paint#I mean another reason is I’m a night owl and my dad sleeps in the living room (due to health problems) and I don’t wanna wake him#I guess long story short is I’m more comfy in my car than in my room which is sad but true#not to mention I live in the basement and there’s so many spiders ☹️ if you didn’t know this about me - I’m terrified of spiders!!!!!!!!#thank you so much for the compliment on my art 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I wish I could give you a big hug!!#absolutely no rush trust me I understand not having the cash for extra things (also by the time you’re ready maybe I’ll have more available)#but yeah like I said other than weed (which can be paired with anything tbh 😂) and art - music is my other love#i sing all the time (especially when im alone haha) and one of my fav things to do is watch mouthdropping talented performers#usually they’re broadway based but they can be all types of genres…. I just usually lean towards the ballads#the songs that have lyrics that hit your heart and music that warms your soul - the ones that make me sob uncontrollably 😂#I have a feeling I’m running out of space sooooo enough about me!! how are you?! how was your day?? tell me more about you?!#I noticed you picked the 🎤 …. do you sing??? or did you just randomly pick it?#omg!! I felt your kiss 😳 I’m telepathically sending you kissies right back to you 🥺🥺🥺#thank you for the ask 🥰🥰#I’m shocked I still have room???? like you’re telling me this isn’t 30 tags? ok sounds good#I’m super proud of myself tho#usually I run out of room SO fast and then I get sad cause I either have to redo it or not say everything I wanted to#anyway I hope you have such a wonderful day/night 🥰😘😘#ask#🎤 anon
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tootiecakes234 · 4 months ago
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Katsuki deciding how to propose to you:
“Dude you’re overthinking this. She’s gonna say yes no matter what you do or say. If she’s stayed with your grumpy attitude all this time then she’s obviously commited.” Kirishima was explaining because Katsuki had come over 2 hours ago and gone over 5 different plans on how he w could go about proposing.
There were plans that involved a plethora of flowers, walks on the beach, hot air balloons, and skywriting. All elaborate and ridiculous.
“Yea but I don’t do romantic shit. If I don’t at least-fuck- if I don’t make this some grand gesture or some shit she’s gonna think she’s spending forever with a loser.” He grumbles laying back on the bed while Eiji was playing on his game system.
“You don’t think, maybe, possibly, you’re overthinking this?? Y/N doesn’t seem like the type that would want all of these convulted plans man.”
“Are you calling my woman simple? Do I need to kick your ass in your own home shitty hair?!” He sat up like he was already about to leap.
“No! No. Calm down! I’m just saying that you might want to think about something a little more….. intimate maybe.” Eiji says, trying to find the right words as to not said the angry Pomeranian into another frenzy. He was already exhausted and didn’t have the energy to use his hardening if Bakugo chose now to pick a fight.
“Intimate? Like propose to her in the middle of us boning? What kinda dumb shit-“
“What the hell is your problem bakubro? You do know there is more than just sexual intamcy right? *whispers* pick up a book” he mumbles. Eijirou pauses his game and turns around to face Katsuki.
“Stop overthinking. You want to lay your cold heart out- it’s a joke- then do something so you’ll feel comfortable telling her how you feel. She’s gonna remember your words more than this dumb shit you’re planning.” Eiji states looking directly at Katsuki now.
“Ugh. All of this shit is stupid. Maybe I’ll just slide the damn ring on her finger while she’s asleep. Then I can avoid all this gross mushy shit.” He breathes out and starts packing up his shit to leave.
“Bakugo, I’m telling you this as your best friend and hopefully future best man, I will be neither of those things anymore if you choose to do that. In fact Y/N might actually kill you when YOU fall asleep.” He snickers.
Bakugo is almost at the door now when he turns around and says, “Fuck it. I’m just going with my original plan! If you don’t hear from after this weekend it’s because she said no and i ended my life. Oh, and if you tell ANYONE about this-“
“Ok. I get it. Go propose to your girlfriend already” Eiji says with a bright smile on his face.
Katsuki shoots him a quick grin before he leaves to go prep for the biggest night of his life.
*Part 2 of is out now😇
Katsuki Bakugo Masterlist
Tooties Tags: Tags: @dreamcastgirl99 @xxvendettaxx @jays-adventure3 @theloveofnagiseishiroslife @mintsbubbletea @darkstarlight82 @anon-mouse223 @b134ch-m4h-ey3z @i-literally-cant-with-this @flowerbedbaby @kit-katsukii @blaize-hewwo-deactivated2024062 @tippy-toes @superlegend216 @liliththeunqualifiedsimp @burgvndy @yoyolovesdaiki @zaiban2989 @citrustsuki-2 @queenpiranhadon
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kquil · 1 month ago
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POLY MARAUDERS | HEROES IN TATTOOS PRT.8
08 : TONIGHT
CHPT. SUM. : you finally get to call them yours and they finally get to call you theirs and it's amazing! but something's missing...and it absolutely has something to do with the ache between your legs! 
LENGTH : 6.1k
TAGS. : very suggestive chapter ; boys and reader being horny for each other ; but do we blame them? no. we. don't! ; james being a pest ; sirius being a hot biker ; remus being a gentleman ; reader being a brat ; remus not being a gentleman anymore ; prologue to nsfw chapter
← PREV. : 07 | APOLOGIES & COMFORT | SERIES M.LIST
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You don’t know what you expected when the boys slowly began integrating you into their already-established relationship. In the beginning, you were worried about feeling like an outsider. From what they’ve shared with you, the boys have been best friends since their secondary school years, meaning that their history with each other was deeply rooted and you were intimidated, to say the least. You’re just a simple girl they helped protect from a creep a year or so ago. You couldn’t possibly stack up to the type of love they have with each other.
This was a reasonable insecurity to have, the boys understood that and were always there to reassure you of its negligible influence. And when their words weren’t enough, they happily showered you in affection, from loving kisses to warm embraces. They flirted shamelessly, left lingering touches scorched along your exposed skin and pulled you into kisses that ranged from feather-light to deeply passionate, they were eager to kiss and squeeze that vulnerability away until it no longer remained in your beautiful eyes. And you appreciate them so much for their efforts.
Not a second goes by when you don’t feel loved by them, or underappreciated. The love you reciprocated, although much softer and, somewhat, apprehensive, always made them melt into your arms. It was quite the trial considering how much bigger these men were compared to you. But you didn’t mind. Their warmth and weight against you only reinforced the realness of the situation, your situation, your relationship.
This was a dream come true – the best-case scenario for the mounting love you were amassing for each of the three tattooed and pierced men working at the parlour. If you told yourself this would be the outcome months ago, you wouldn’t have believed your ears.
“You’ve got that starry look in your eyes again, dollface,” Sirius chuckles as he presses a loving kiss to your fluttering eyelids, “what are you thinking? Hmmm?” The tattooist currently had you in his lap, disregarding the clock face on the wall. He was supposed to be preparing for a client who would be arriving soon but, instead of being a responsible tattooist, he had himself preoccupied with you.
“Sirius, you’ve got a client coming soon,” you pout, appearing more stressed over his appointment than he is.
As dramatic as always, Sirius put on a big show of missing you, his arms flailing about with his voice fluctuating in his theatrics, “But I’m feeling very deficient in vitamin ‘you’, sweetheart! I need to get my necessary second dose,” you roll your eyes at his playfulness and quietly argue about how this wasn’t his second dose.
“Rather, it’s been your fourth or fifth dose already,” giggling, you endeavour to kiss his pout away before trying to leave so he could have the time to prepare for his appointment while you caught up on your university assignments. Next thing you know, he has you nestled into his lap with your coursework papers set aside and your laptop closed shut. All your attention needed to be on him; he wanted it all.
“We have eight minutes,” he wagered deviously.
You’ve come to find out that Sirius was pretty spoiled when it came to affection. The distinction becomes even more apparent when you compare him to Remus and James. Thankfully, that translated into Sirius happily initiating affection as much as he pleads for it. He’s just this handsome, broad man with the most beautiful grin and the prettiest grey eyes separated by his perfect nose – he’s irresistible, really. And you know that he knows it too; all he has to do is pull those puppy-dog eyes and he gets anything and everything he wants. It’s almost frustrating how he wins your favour each time but you never regret giving into him.
No. Never for Sirius.
…Or Remus. Or James. God, you love these men so damn much!
“Doll?” he tilts his head adorably, a habit he’s picked up from the personified golden retriever himself – James.
“It’s nothing,” you hum, combing your fingers through his hair and pressing a kiss to his slightly scratchy jaw. His stubble was growing out ever so slightly and began to cast a light shadow across the lower half of his handsome face.
“Can’t be nothing,” he protests, delivering a loving nuzzle into the crown of your hair, “are you falling for me?~ Tell me the truth, beautiful girl,” he’s as playful as ever, an expert in heating up your cheeks for his own entertainment, “I know you’re shy but you’re also very honest, hmm?” you don’t respond and keep your focus trained on the rose tattoo creeping up his neck, with its expertly shaded thorns and petals. “I might just give you a reward if you’re honest with me,”
With a small smile, you peek up at him from beneath your lashes. The shadows they cast over your vision distract from the obvious pink hue exploding across his cheeks as soon as he catches your gaze, god! Could you get any more beautiful? You need to stop looking at him like that but also, please keep looking at him and never look away again! “I’ve already fallen for you, Sirius Black,”
Sirius’ jaw goes slack as his playful demeanour collapses under you. The prettiest smile he’s ever seen stretches across your plump lips, so kissable and laced with a shy playfulness he’s fallen in love with.
You drive him absolutely mad…
… and he loves it!
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James adores scooping you up into his arms. Not only is your resounding squeal the most adorable thing he’s ever heard but he just cherishes the feel of you tucked up in his embrace. For the first time, he fully understands the expression of describing one’s significant other as their whole world. Because when he has you giggling in his arms, clinging to his neck and nuzzling your face into the space under his jaw, James feels as though he’s got the entire world in his arms – he can accomplish anything and everything he sets his mind to. With you in his arms, he’s invincible; there’s a power that surges through him, a little like adrenaline but not quite so. It’s more powerful. He doesn't know what it is or how exactly to articulate its distinctions but he feels its fullness and capabilities like no other. He is the ruler of an empire, a conqueror with his perfect queen ruling beside him.
He is the leading character of a poignant Shakespearean play with you as his equally established partner. He is one half of a star and you are the other. Each is a ridiculous example but each also feels so fitting.
Of course… Only you could have ignited such an unfounded emotion within him.
“You feel it too, right Moony?” James whispers whilst he and the tall body piercer observe your happy movements gracefully puttering about their upstairs office, organising stacks of paperwork for them.
“Love?” Remus asks. It should be the obvious answer – you’re the protagonist of their conversation after all – but astute to James’ unique expressions for the natural and mundane, the brunette knows it’s going to be one of those times when James strongly feels a certain way and finds it hard to put into words. It makes Remus smile knowing that it’s about you – it’s surely something he can sympathise with James on.
“I guess but… it's different, somehow,” he doesn’t quite know how to articulate it, he just feels it. In his chest, in his fingertips, in his throat, in his stomach, even in his toes – he feels it everywhere. How could he not? Just looking at you, James can already justify that what he was feeling was perfectly admissible, whether he could put it into words or not. What he feels is true, it’s real and it gets stronger (almost achingly so) whenever he looks at you. The apple of his eye… never had an expression fit so well.
“I understand,” Remus voices after a deep, rumbling hum. His gaze soon turns to the tattoo artist beside him, fond eyes softening and stepping much closer to him, “I feel it too — for her and you, and Sirius,”
“That’s a given,” James grins boyishly up at his best friend and precious lover before he’s pulled into a loving kiss.
Tucking your chin a little over your shoulder, you glimpse the inviting image of your two lovers locking lips. It was heartening to see that their love for one another hadn’t changed because of your recent entanglement with them too. There was always a little corner of worry in your heart for potentially breaking their bond due to your interference.
The last time you let that same emotion control you, the aftereffects were explosive and unnecessarily wounding to all parties so you keep the emotion in check often, the boys too. But there was no complete dismissal of it. As much as you adore the boys and their love for you, you also adore their love for each other. It was incredibly inspiring to see what they had built together. Their parlour, their love, their quaint, shared flat.
But now, you also had the privilege of seeing them share more intimate acts of love and it was leading to a bad habit, a bad staring habit. So much so that you didn’t notice the two breaking away from each other until their devious smirks were solely directed at you.
“Care to join us, my dear?” Remus calls his voice like a hypnotising whisper, pulling invisible strings to shift your feet forward and lure you in. In no time at all, you’re close enough for the two to lock you between their strong, tattooed arms and finally launch their attack. You’re not complaining.
You’re so grateful to be able to join in their love and be with them like this. And you’re curious about what the four of you would end up building together one day. Rather than a small flat, maybe a house? A family? With kids? Fur-babies? A cat or dog? Maybe both? Regardless, one promise was absolutely certain: a happy life that’s bursting at the seams with love – it was a very compelling thought.
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Finally winding down for the night, you separate from the boys and remain tucked away in their neatly prepared spare bedroom. James and Sirius were proud to announce that they had tidied the place up for you; Remus would have contributed as well if it weren’t for him being the main man who handled the paperwork for the parlour.
You thanked the two for their thoughtfulness with a kiss but also kissed Remus for his hard work in ‘keeping their business alive’. It was a cheeky remark but one that got an adorable pout from James and Sirius along with a well-humoured laugh from the tall brunette himself. There was a love in his eyes that made you weak in the knees, his chocolate pools staring down at you, threatening to drown you in their warmth, his fingers ghosting the skin of your chin and ever so gently tilting your face to admire your features better. He moved as if he were propping up a delicate art piece, not wanting to press too harshly but enough to warrant a sensitive and lingering touch.
“You spoil us,” he utters as a heat blooms across your cheeks and a small peep pushes past your lips. Mistaking your incoherent squeak for verbal thought, Remus bends down at the waist with curious and furrowed brows, “What was that, my dear?” James and Sirius lightly snicker to themselves from the interaction. You would have scolded them for their childish behaviour if Remus didn’t have you melting into a puddle from doing absolutely nothing!
“I-It’s nothing, Rem,” thankfully, he didn’t need much convincing. Having him that close was intimidating – you just can’t believe that this beautiful, soft-spoken, loving and gentle giant of a man is yours.
The boys had allowed you to use the bathroom first and followed after you for their night routine. From where you sat at the vanity, you often catch yourself smiling and sometimes even giggling when you hear their antics echoing through the hallway. It was all very amusing and you had to bite your lip when thoughts of normalising this scenario into a nightly routine materialised in your head. It was still early on in your otherwise unconventional relationship and you didn’t want to risk anything. An eagerness for more was healthy but over-eagerness wouldn’t be worth potentially commencing an accelerated rate of negative interactions.
Going through your nightly skincare, you hum a soft tune to yourself. It felt like you were at your own flat, getting ready for bed as if it was any other night and the familiarity was surprising. You didn’t feel out of place at all despite the new environment. Although, you wouldn't expect anything less from your boys. They really knew how to make you feel welcome. At least you know that you’ll be sleeping restfully tonight.
“Almost ready for bed, Angel?” James’ sudden appearance in the doorway makes you tense before playfully pouting at him, especially when he has the gall to giggle at your startled reaction, “Awww~ don’t be like that, love~” he coos, walking up to stand behind your seated form. He, too, bends at the waist to kiss behind your ear and trail loving pecks down your neck to the slopes of your shoulder.
“My night routine is meant to be relaxing, Jamie,” you huff but he can hear the smile in your voice and looks up with his beautiful eyes, meeting your gaze in the vanity mirror. Slowly, he pulls his lips away from your exposed shoulder.
With a devilish smirk, he brings his lips to your ear and whispers, “I can help you with that…” You feel his feathery touch tracing the curves of your waist, coming up from your hips, “Relaxing, I mean~”
“James!”
He throws his head back with a laugh that makes his shoulders shake and his pretty curls bounce ever so slightly. He’s risen to his full height now and resists the urge to caress the skin of your cheek, respectful of your freshly applied skincare — he’s had to put up with Sirius’ grumbles and whines after mistakenly kissing his still dewy, moisturised cheek on previous nights. And James wouldn’t want to ruin your first night here like that. He’s no amateur. Instead, James concedes to caressing your hair and placing a loving kiss onto your crown. He loves the combined smell of your hair products and natural scent. It’s solely you; a fragrance that could never be contained in a bottle, which is, both, a pity and a relief. A pity that he can’t carry a small bottle around whenever he’s missing you horribly bad. But a relief that something so intimate about you couldn’t be shared beyond him, Sirius and Remus. James would rather set the world ablaze before that ever came to fruition.
“Alright, my love, I’ll leave you be…” you begin to sigh in relief until, “-for now~”
“James!” you giggle sweetly, and he joins you not too long after, “You’re such a pest!”
He cackles adorably as he walks back to the door, making his exit swift and injury-free – he, just barely, evades your swatting hands. The two of you gradually allow your shared merriment to fade into a comfortable silence. You return to completing your skincare routine while James remains at the doorway.
From afar, the tattooist quietly admires your figure, elegant and so… so girly as you go through your nightly regime. It wasn’t a bad thing seeing your femininity shine through was refreshing. Sure, Sirius partook in the same self-care religiously, at the start of every day and the beginning of every night but you, with your cosy pyjamas, fuzzy slippers, panda ears headband and prettily laid out products, have James bewitched; entranced in the most blissful way. He likes seeing and observing you like this. So comfortable that there isn’t a single change in your routine; so comfortable that you’re humming to yourself; so comfortable that you look like you belong here. Truthfully, he’s wanted to ask you to move in for quite some time now but understands the importance of going at a steady pace and one that everyone agrees on.
You all finally have each other to call your own, that’s what truly mattered at the end of the day. So he holds himself back.
The routine you have is quite thorough so you’re not one to exclude your neck area or chest. As you adjust your clothes to prep your neck and chest area, James glimpses more and more of your skin each time. Naturally, his cheeks colour a soft pink while his thoughts are gradually consumed by all the things he wants to do to you — bending you over every piece of furniture in the flat, not discounting the walls or the carpeted floor, even atop and inside his beloved car. Every hot and crude detail is uncensored, the images that flash in his head are dangerously explicit and encompass you wholely. Your pleasure is his top priority. He’ll have you moaning in his ear, panting for breath as he goes faster, harder, whatever you want, as long as you keep singing for him. Singing until you’re screaming and reaching your peak over and over and over—
“The door locks, y’know,” James mentions casually, not surprising you as much this time. Although his random comment does make you raise a brow.
“Oh?” you apply your berry-flavoured lip mask and smile at him through the mirror with a hint of curiosity, “Okay, thank you for telling me, Jamie,” it still wasn’t clear to you what he was trying to get at with his casual but warning remark.
“Are you going to lock it for the night?” his question makes you stop for a moment, what was he trying to say? “I think you should lock it, angel… you don’t want any surprise visitors — it’s hard resisting you this long,” he had a teasing smile on his lips but there was a dark look in his eyes that made you shudder. That’s what he meant…
“A-alright,”
He pauses, appearing to contemplate something as he leans forward but ultimately decides against his earlier intentions and straightens his posture accordingly, “that’s my good girl,” you watch his sly smirk disappear from the vanity mirror. It takes you a few moments longer to return to your skincare routine.
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Sirius smirks at you with an amused glint in his eye, “do you want to sit on it?” he asks, his big hand gently patting the seat of his bike. Being able to see right through you and read your inner thoughts was one of Sirius’ many talents. It amazed you but also made your cheeks flush in embarrassment. Were you really that transparent and readable? To Sirius, you were, but that’s only because he’s grown to have a keen eye for you and your little quirks; he finds them adorable and adores being able to read your thoughts, so that he knows he’s catering to you well.
Your hesitation is obvious. It’s not like you haven’t ridden on his motorbike before; you’ve ridden on it plenty of times. However, it was usually with you seated behind Sirius. For a while, you contemplated whether or not it would feel different to be the actual biker. You didn’t know how to ride a motorbike so you were secretly hoping that Sirius would allow you to hop on after he did his routine motorbike maintenance. It was common to do these checks and services every 6 months, but because Sirius used his motorbike so often, he tracked the regular services based on the miles he covered. He’s already crossed 4000 miles so his bike was due for some maintenance already.
“Are you sure?” you ask in a voice that’s so soft and sweet, Sirius can’t help but temper his smirk into a warm smile.
“It’s safe, sweetheart, and I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t okay with it,” the bright grin you gifted him made Sirius question why he hadn’t thought to make such an offer sooner. It was clear that you were interested in his bike but he didn’t know whether or not he was deciphering your intentions correctly, until now. With a skip in your step, you make your way over as Sirius chuckles to himself.
You’re just too cute~
“Thank you, Siri,” you reach up to cup his jaw and gently guide him down to press a loving kiss against his cheek.
“Anything for you, Doll,” he kisses your cheek as well, just before you get the chance to pull too far away from him. Sirius then guides you onto his motorbike, offering to stabilise you with his hands on your hips as you get settled on the seat. With his strength alone, he takes the bike off his kickstand and straightens it from the back so that you can experience what it’s really like without the bike being slanted to the side. The tattooist is much taller than you and so you aren’t able to fully flatfoot your feet, instead your toes barely brush the ground. Seeing that you’re able to just swing your feet back and forth, a quiet giggle escapes you – music to Sirius’ ears.
“This is fun!” you cheer softly, still quite shy as you glance over your shoulder with a flutter of your lashes, meeting eyes with the inked-up biker, who was grinning brightly at you. His strong arms are on full display, tattoos and all, as he holds the bike straight and steady from behind. He’s dressed in a simple black tank top and loose grey joggers. It’s a style that James often wears around their flat but you’re not surprised that Sirius was able to pull off the look too. With a face like his, you can easily determine that he’d suit any style he tries on.
“Why don’t you try pretending you’re actually riding it by grabbing onto the handles,” he encourages, excited. Having James, Remus and you as his loves were heaven on earth, but being able to share one of his favourite hobbies and his beloved motorbike fostered a different kind of haven in his heart. It’s overflowing and shows easily in his voice.
“Okay!” eagerly, you lean forward to grasp onto the handles and, with a feverish buzz, pretend you’re actually riding the bike out on the road. From backpacking behind Sirius so often, imagining the shift in positions and being the actual biker was quite easy. What a thrill! No wonder Sirius makes up any excuse to be out on his bike.
Yes, you’re still stationary but it’s just too easy to imagine everything, from the wind in your hair to the adrenaline pumping through your veins, encouraged by the rapidly passing views on either side of you. A view of the seaside at sunset is very appealing but winding country roads also offer great scenery. You can hear your heartbeat rising to match your vision and you have to bite your lip to contain an elated laugh. There’s no need to embarrass yourself even more, especially with Sirius behind you.
So stuck in your pretending, you miss Sirius’ partially restrained groan of frustration from behind your leant-over figure, “Fuck. Me…” he has the perfect view of your ass. And when you’re bent over his bike like this, his joggers tighten up around his crotch alarmingly fast. Never mind that the joggers were already very loose-fitting, he can’t help himself when you’re offering him such a spectacular view. And to have it be on top of his motorbike too…
The things you do to him… the things he would do to you.
Suppressing another groan, Sirius hurries to free his kickstand and lean his bike over before you realise what’s happening. It takes a lot of strength and agility but his focus has narrowly concentrated on you and nothing was going to get in his way. He has to resist going all the way – for now – but that doesn’t mean resigning himself to zero contact at all.
“Siri–?!” you squeal in surprise when he lifts you off his bike and positions you in a way that forces your legs to wrap around his hips from fear of falling, while his arms circle your hips, “what’s this all about?” you give an adorable tilt of your head as you look down at him, perched a little higher on his torso so that your hands could place themselves on his sturdy shoulders while his arm provides a sort of seat for you underneath.
“I’ll show you what this is about,” his voice is several octaves lower, barely recognisable from where they resonate at the far back of his throat. His big hands grab the globes of your ass and lower you down from your upper perch so that he grinds your covered pussy lips against his erect cock. Even through the fabric of his joggers, the sheer size of him is obvious and it’s mortifying how wet you get. He keeps you pressed against him as he swallows your shocked gasp, prying your lips apart with his tongue so he can explore your sweet mouth.
“...you can’t be showing your perfect ass like that – so pretty on top of my bike – without facing the consequences, dollface,”
“But!” you manage to protest between his eager lips, “but you said–!”
“I know what I said,” he bites at your lower lips and grinds against you, “I guess we’re both at fault that I’m like this right now, huh, baby?” he pulls away to suck and nibble on your neck, loving the moans he draws from you, “Nothing a little loving can’t fix, right?”
He won’t go too far… just a little grinding here and there while he devours your pretty little mouth. That’s all he’s asking for. And, being the lovely, kind princess that you are, of course, you oblige him.
“A-alright…” you conceded, finally trying to match his level of eagerness when his lips connected with yours once more.
“That’s my girl~”
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The initial week everything came to a head, where all was revealed and you ended up spending the night at the boys’ flat, only for disaster to hit in the form of your period the next day was weeks behind you now. You're surprised that a week after that – when you had finally gotten off your dreaded period – Remus didn’t pounce on you. Nor did James. Or Sirius. Now an entire month has passed and still nothing. James and Sirius have been more impassioned than Remus but it appears as though they’re more united than ever on the simple fact of ‘going easy’ on you.
The tall brunette insinuated such provocative things that night. Thinking back to that moment makes butterflies explode in your stomach, all while a ravenous heat spreads chaotically throughout your body. That same heat then stubbornly settles between your legs and in your lower belly. You’re ashamed to admit that you were really looking forward to what Remus planned on doing to you…
But now he’s being the perfect gentleman again and you don’t know what to do!
You love how gentlemanly he is, kissing you sweetly on the cheek, whispering loving, poetic words only for you to hear, listening to anything and everything you wanted to say with the utmost attention and interest, pulling doors open for you, doing little favours that made your days go by smoother and so much more. It felt incredibly unreasonable to complain when there was nothing to complain about! Though… were you really complaining? If you think about it, all you would be doing is expressing your opinion and providing some constructive criticism for what you want out of the relationship – there’s nothing wrong with that, is there?
When you officially became theirs and them, yours, it was established and emphasised heavily by Remus, himself, that communication was key to having a successful and loving relationship. If something was wrong, you could go to them without any hesitation; they promised to never disregard your worries or dismiss them apathetically. And you made the same promise to them, in return. If they were ever feeling insecure about something in the relationship then they could communicate any concerns they have to you without feeling an ounce of fear. By verbalising your, somewhat, embarrassing internal torment, you’d be keeping your promise and prioritising communication — just like you all promised each other!
So you have nothing to worry about…
It’s just a little hard to verbalise that’s all…
…maybe you should wait until after dinner tonight? Remus looks a little busy right now…
“Don’t look at me with those eyes, pretty girl,” Remus’ low, bordering seductive, voice tenses your nerves, pulling a lazy chuckle from the back of his throat at the adorable sight of your surprise, “you’re distracting me,” he emphasises his statement with the tap of his pen onto the papers laid out before him. Despite his comment, however, he doesn’t sound angry and he’s not frowning either. Instead, Remus has his chin in the palm of his hand and tilts his head at you, smiling fondly at your visage.
“You look like you don’t mind it,” you shot back, voice shy but quippy, parallel to the defiant folding of your arms.
Remus throws his head back with a laugh before shaking his head at you. His smile widens and he bites his lower lip to force it down just a little bit. As you put on a playful pout, your earlier thoughts slipping from your mind, the tattooed body piercer rolls over to you on his wheeled office chair.
Reaching you in a few long strides, knee to knee, he disregards your sassy comment and simply asks, “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
A heat crawls up your neck and settles on the apples of your cheeks as your earlier contemplations return. It’s a little hard to muster up your courage to speak right now. And, conveniently, the carpeted floors look very interesting all of a sudden.
“I-It was nothing,” you unfold your arms and fidget with the hem of your pleated skirt; your gaze still fixed onto the office’s dark grey carpet.
He quirks a brow but doesn’t say anything despite the question evident in his chocolate-brown eyes. His gaze holds onto your own, the small smile on his lips calming your earlier taut nerves. In your peripheral, Remus slides his fingertips over the skin of your thighs, his movement careful and feathery until he hears you suck in a sharp breath. As soon as your eyes widen, shocked by his unexpected touch and you release a sharp gasp, Remus throws all care out the window. He proceeds to slide his grip under your thighs and, hoists you up and over to sit on his lap. Thankfully his office chair doesn’t have any armrests so he’s able to comfortably seat you there, pretty as can be.
“You’re sure you can’t tell me?” he asks in a murmur, muffled by the skin of your temple as he presses a soft kiss there.
“It’s really nothing!” you squeak, avoiding his eyes and missing his fond smile as he watches you fumbling with your hands. He keeps you perfectly seated on his lap from where he firmly grips your outer thighs. Your skin is so soft and smooth with the perfect amount of fluff, to fill it in – he loves all of you but if he had to choose, he’d say your thighs were his favourite feature.
“You can be honest with me,” you don’t answer, tucking your flustered face into the crook of his neck instead. Fondly, he begins to caress the back of your head with one hand, the other still on your thigh. He lowers his voice into a quiet murmur so only you can hear, “Why don’t you whisper it to me instead?”
Funnily enough, his suggestion, no matter how simple, was convincing. It was meant for his ears only and you didn’t want to risk anyone else hearing your inner thoughts out loud. Also, the idea of whispering your carnal contemplations felt… safer somehow. Intimate too but you ran with it, your thoughts begging to be released.
Leaning up, you place one hand on his broad chest, the other on his shoulder so as to position your lips beside his ear with enough stability, “I was just thinking about…umm,”
“Hmm?...” you feel his thumbs caressing the skin of your thighs — a comforting gesture that you feel embarrassed for being unsuited to your pending admission.
“About you…”
Something flashes in his eyes, “...What about me, my love?” he hopes to god he hasn’t upset you.
You pause to muster up enough courage, “...about what you said you would do to me that night…” Hopefully, he knows what you’re referring to because you don’t think you’ll be able to articulate his exact words or the entire situation properly. You’re already far too sheepish.
Holding your breath, you wait for some sort of reaction, maybe a spoken word? Something… But Remus’ lips are sealed shut and there’s only silence. Your heart hammers in your ears as you slowly pull away from the safety of your lover’s neck and peek up to gauge his reaction, only to find that his face shows no emotion at all. You’re tempted to whisper his name, a soft prompt and an indirect request for some sort of answer when he’s suddenly pulling you into a deep kiss. One hand cups your jaw as the other explores your curves. His movement and the feeling he imbues in the kiss – all of it points to an impatience and a vicious need, the need to have you in every way possible.
Remus explores the lines of your shape but makes a small sound of displeasure when his hands are unable to sneak up the AC/DC graphic shirt you stole from Sirius as it’s tucked into your pleated skirt. Quickly, he moves his large hands back to your exposed thighs. You hold your breath as you feel his warm touch move up your warm skin, far enough to sneak past the hem of your pleated skirt.
“Please…��� Remus relishes in the moan that parts your delicious, bruised lips, “I can take it! Please please please,” you gasp and pant, your shaking voice emphasising your desperation for more. You’ve waited so long, you’ve been so patient, you’re ready for this! The feel of his lips against your skin is addictive but your addiction is insatiable from that alone and you beg for more.
“Are you sure about that?” Remus’ lips make it to the shell of your ear, where his husky voice whispers as he grabs at your ass. With his hands full of you, he pulls you in to grind his bulging hardness against your puffy, lower lips and dampening panties. He relishes in the moans that you can’t contain behind trembling, kiss-bitten lips and smirks when he hears the click of the office door opening.
“She’s ready for us then?” James asks, the smirk on his lips obvious through the smug tone of his voice.
“It’s about damn time,”
Remus smiles as you tuck your flustered face into the crook of his neck and gives your ass a reassuring squeeze beneath your skirt, “Tonight, sweetheart,”
You pout at his remark and pull away with a huff, “No!” you protest defiantly, “Now!” You’re tired of waiting! And what’s the use of their upstairs, private office space if you can’t do private things in it?
“Don’t be a brat, dove,” Remus warns, the usual warmth leaving his eyes as Sirius and James step into the room and close the door behind them but don’t step an inch closer.
“But I’ve waited so long, please Rem, I promise I can take it—” you squeal loudly when a harsh slap hits your ass. So caught up in your needs, you completely missed how Remus used one hand to lift your skirt while his other prepared to deliver penance.
“Rem–!” ignoring your whining, he sits down to bend you over his lap and continues beating your ass despite your shrieks of pain. It wasn’t until you were a whimpering tearful mess that Remus finally relented, his big hand returning to their gentle touches as he comfortingly palms your sore ass. He’s sorry. But you were being a brat.
“Brats don’t deserve to get what they want, even if they say please, do I make myself clear?”
Unable to vocalise properly through your tears and pitiful whimpers, you simply nod your head but squealed when Remus cupped your tender asscheek and gave it a firm squeeze of displeasure, “Y-yes sir,”
“Good girl,” Remus hums softly,
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NAVI. | SERIES M.LIST | NEXT : 09 | THE NIGHT... →
A/N : next chapter will be where everything goes down my loves! i hope you're prepared and i'm sorry for making you all wait this long; what can i say? i love a good slow burn smut hehe~
again, i'd like to remind everyone that i have discontinued all my taglists but made a side account for you to follow so you can be notified whenever i post something new, just turn on notifications @thekqipond
please like, comment and reblog to show your support, i'd really appreciate it! property of kquil ; all written content is mine and no one else's unless stated otherwise ; do not steal, plagiarise, modify or translate to other sites
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mcrdvcks · 7 days ago
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i love you, in every time ࿐‧₊ 1854 - could it be love?
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chapter summary: You meet Logan, a young man who is briefly stopping by in New York City. Despite both of your better judgments, you quickly realize that perhaps there's nothing wrong with falling in love.
word count: 22.2k+
pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader
notes: ahh!! welcome to this new series! i'm very excited to start this journey with all of y'all! just a note, when i say 'character death(s)' in the warnings it means that reader is going to die at the end of every chapter. that's the entire premise of this series, which was inspired by the 11th doctor and clara (iykyk). but first, we have a lot of time to cover before we even reach the first x-men movie so strap in!
i also didn't mean for this to be as long as it is, oops
warnings/tags: fluff, angst, outdated mindsets on women, slow burn, illness, character deaths
series masterlist → chapter 2
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You didn’t necessarily love your job, but it was better than other options available for you. You grumbled to yourself as you walked down the sidewalk of New York City, horses neighing and wheels rattling on the brick street.
The bonnet on your head protected you from the sun beating down, keeping you from further heat in your dress. You had many things to do while you were out, get the children some new clothes and toys, buy some groceries, and buy some extra cloth for when you eventually had to sew their clothing.
As you passed by a small shop, you paused, peering in through the window. A few wooden toys sat on the shelf inside, simple and sturdy. Perfect for the boys. You pushed the door open, a little bell jingling as you entered, and you made your way toward the display.
"Can I help you, miss?" The shopkeeper’s voice startled you, but you smiled politely.
"Just looking for some toys," you replied, eyes scanning the shelves.
As you picked up a carved wooden horse, the door opened again behind you, letting in a bit of fresh air and a man’s heavy footsteps. You didn’t pay it much mind until you felt a presence nearby, a little too close for comfort. You turned slightly, catching sight of a tall man with dark hair and an unshaven face, dressed in a rough shirt and worn pants, a bit out of place among the polished streets of the city.
He glanced your way, his sharp eyes catching yours for a brief moment before he looked back to the shelves.
Something about him felt different—dangerous, but not in the way that made you want to run. More like it pulled you in, made you curious.
You turned back to the toys, but your mind kept wandering back to the stranger standing nearby. You couldn’t help but glance his way again.
"Those are good for little ones," the man said, his voice rough but casual. He nodded at the toy horse in your hand. "They hold up well. Tougher than they look."
You raised an eyebrow, surprised by his sudden comment. "You have experience with them?"
His lips twitched, almost a smile. "A bit. Used to make ‘em myself."
You looked him over more closely now, intrigued. "You don’t seem like the toy-making type."
His eyes flicked to yours, something amused in the way he looked at you. "Not anymore," he said, then turned his attention back to the shelves.
There was a silence between you for a moment, but it didn’t feel awkward. If anything, it felt like he didn’t mind you being there, like he was used to people drifting in and out of his space.
You finally spoke again. "I suppose these are sturdy enough for two boys, then."
"Yeah. They’ll survive a beating."
You laughed, the sound surprising you. He gave you another look, a bit more interested this time. There was something about him that made you feel seen in a way that was different from how most men looked at you.
You gathered a few more toys, careful not to spend too much, but you couldn’t resist getting something extra for the little girl you looked after. She was sweet, and it wasn’t her fault she was stuck in such a strict household.
The stranger watched you with those sharp eyes, like he could see more than what was right in front of him. You wondered what his story was, but you weren’t about to ask.
As you headed to the counter, he followed, though he didn’t buy anything. The shopkeeper took your coins, and you gathered your parcels, still feeling the man’s presence behind you.
"Thanks for the advice," you said over your shoulder, more as a courtesy than anything else.
He nodded, a slight smirk playing on his lips. "Anytime."
With that, you left the shop, stepping back into the sunlight, the weight of your errands still on your shoulders. But as you walked away, you couldn’t help but feel like something had shifted. Like maybe that wasn’t the last time you’d see him.
---
Edwin and Phillip seemed to enjoy the toy you got them, already fighting over who gets to play with it first. They were the eldest, Edwin was 9, Phillip was 7, and Ada was 6. You handed her the toy you got for her, one she got to keep all to herself.
Ada's face lit up when you handed her the small, carved doll. She held it in her hands gently, like it was the most precious thing in the world.
"For me?" she asked, her voice soft with disbelief.
You smiled and nodded. "Just for you, Ada."
Her eyes sparkled, and she hugged the doll to her chest. "Thank you!"
Edwin and Phillip were already in the middle of their tug-of-war with the wooden horse, the two boys shouting over whose turn it was.
"I had it first!" Edwin argued, pulling the toy toward him.
"You always get it first!" Phillip shot back, his voice growing louder.
You sighed and stepped in, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. "Why don't you take turns? If you can't share, I'll have to take it away, and no one gets to play with it."
They both groaned but reluctantly agreed, setting the horse on the floor. Edwin was a bit of a handful, but he could be sweet when he wanted to be. Phillip, the quieter one, usually followed his brother’s lead. At least Ada wasn’t much trouble.
After helping Ada settle in with her new toy, you turned to check on the boys, making sure they hadn’t already forgotten your words. But as you did, your thoughts drifted back to the man in the shop. There was something about him—something that lingered in your mind even now. He didn’t fit in with the usual crowd you saw around here, but he didn’t seem bothered by that.
It was odd, though, that someone like him would be in a toy shop of all places. You tried to shake the thought away, but it kept creeping back, a sense that your brief encounter meant more than it appeared.
Later, after the children had settled down, you found yourself with a rare quiet moment. You sat by the window, staring out at the street below, watching the people passing by. The day was winding down, the sky fading into hues of orange and pink, and yet, the man’s sharp eyes lingered in your mind.
You shook your head, scolding yourself for thinking too much about a stranger. It was just a passing moment—nothing more. You had far more important things to focus on, like taking care of the children and making sure everything ran smoothly for the household. That man, whoever he was, wasn’t part of your world.
But still, something in the back of your mind whispered that you’d see him again. And the thought of it didn’t exactly bother you.
---
The next few days were a blur of your usual routine. The children kept you busy, and you barely had a moment to yourself. But even as you went through the motions of your daily life, you couldn't help but feel that sense of something—or someone—waiting.
It was on a brisk afternoon, a few days after your encounter at the shop, when you found yourself running errands again. The streets were busier than usual, with carriages clattering over the cobblestones and people bustling past in a hurry. You had a long list of things to pick up, and the thought of weaving through the crowded market already had you dreading the trip.
As you made your way through the streets, you spotted a familiar figure standing at the corner near a fruit stand. The man from the shop. He hadn’t seen you yet, but something about the way he stood, slightly apart from the rest of the crowd, watching the passersby with a quiet intensity, made you pause.
You debated for a moment. Should you approach him? Or would it seem too forward?
Before you could decide, his gaze lifted, and he spotted you. His eyes narrowed, a flicker of recognition passing over his features, but he didn’t move. He just stood there, watching you.
You took a deep breath and made your way over, your curiosity getting the better of you.
"Fancy seeing you here again," you said, trying to sound casual as you approached.
"Didn’t expect to run into you either," he replied, his voice still rough, but there was a hint of something in his tone. Amusement? Interest? You couldn’t quite place it.
"I was just running errands," you said, gesturing to the market behind you. "You know how it is."
He nodded, his eyes flicking over you for a moment before landing back on the crowd. "Yeah, I get it."
There was a beat of silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, it almost felt... familiar. Like talking to him wasn’t so strange after all.
"Are you from around here?" you asked, breaking the silence.
He shook his head. "Not really. Just passing through."
"Do you always pass through toy shops when you're in town?"
His lips quirked into that almost-smile again. "Only when I feel like it."
You couldn’t help but chuckle. "Mysterious, aren’t you?"
He shrugged, not giving much away. "Maybe."
You were about to ask him something else when a shout came from behind you. You turned to see one of the street vendors, an older man, calling out angrily at a young boy who had clearly tried to swipe an apple from his cart.
Before you could even react, the man next to you stepped forward. His movements were quick and fluid, like he was used to handling situations like this. He reached the boy before the vendor could get too close, gripping the kid by the collar.
"Hey," the man said, his voice low but firm. "That’s not how you do things."
The boy froze, wide-eyed, clearly not expecting to be caught so quickly.
"Put it back," the man ordered.
The boy, trembling slightly, dropped the apple back onto the cart. "I’m sorry!" he blurted out before scurrying off into the crowd.
You watched as the man exchanged a few words with the vendor, calming him down before he turned back to you, his expression unreadable.
"You didn’t have to do that," you said, surprised by how quickly he had handled the situation.
He shrugged again. "The kid’ll learn his lesson. Better this way than the other options."
You looked at him, a little more curious now. He wasn’t just some rough-around-the-edges stranger. There was something deeper to him, something that made you want to know more.
“I don’t think I caught your name the other day,” you settled on, meeting his eyes as the energy of the crowd buzzed around you both.
He gave a small nod, like he was considering whether to answer or not. "Logan," he said simply.
"Logan," you repeated, trying the name on your tongue. It suited him, rough around the edges but solid. "I’m Y/N."
His gaze lingered on you for a moment longer before he gave another slight nod, acknowledging it. The silence between you wasn’t heavy, but it felt like something unspoken passed through the space. Something that told you he wasn’t just another passerby in your life.
"Thanks for helping that kid back there," you said, breaking the quiet. "Not everyone would step in like that."
Logan shrugged like it was nothing, his eyes scanning the crowd again. "Not a big deal."
You tilted your head slightly, studying him. "You do that a lot? Play the hero?"
A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, barely there, but it was enough. "No. Just don't like seeing people get hurt when I can do something about it."
There was a gruffness to his words, but it didn’t feel forced. It felt real. And it was clear that he wasn’t the type to go around explaining himself to anyone. You liked that.
"Well, either way, it was good of you." You glanced down at the parcels in your arms, suddenly remembering the rest of your errands. "I should probably get going, before I’m late getting back."
Logan gave you a small nod, his eyes flicking down to your parcels. "You take care."
You hesitated, a part of you not wanting to walk away just yet. But what could you say? You didn’t know this man, not really, and yet you felt drawn to him in a way that was hard to explain. Maybe it was the way he carried himself, like he had been through more than he let on. Or maybe it was the quiet strength in him that made you feel oddly safe.
"Maybe I’ll see you around?" you offered, not wanting to make the goodbye feel so final.
Logan’s eyes met yours again, and for a moment, there was something softer in his gaze. "Yeah. Maybe."
With that, you gave him a small smile and turned to leave, weaving your way through the bustling street. As you walked, you couldn’t help but glance back once, just to see if he was still there. He was, standing where you left him, watching you go.
---
The following days fell back into your usual routine—taking care of the children, running errands, keeping the household in order. Yet, no matter how busy you were, your thoughts kept drifting back to Logan. Something about him lingered in your mind, and it wasn’t just because he had helped out that kid. There was something deeper, something you couldn’t quite shake.
You found yourself wondering if he really was just passing through, or if there was more to his story than he was letting on. You didn’t know why it mattered so much, but it did.
One afternoon, as you were helping Ada tie the ribbon on her new dress, she looked up at you with her big, curious eyes.
"Y/N, are you thinking about something?" she asked innocently.
You blinked, surprised. "Why do you ask?"
"Because you’re smiling," she said, her voice soft and sweet.
You hadn’t even realized. "Oh," you said, chuckling softly. "I guess I was just lost in thought."
Ada giggled, her small hands playing with the ribbon you had just tied. "You think about a lot of things."
"That’s because I have to keep track of all you rascals," you teased, tickling her side gently.
She squealed in delight, wriggling away from you, and you couldn’t help but laugh. But as you settled back into the moment, that same thought returned, uninvited. Logan. Would you see him again?
---
It wasn’t long before the answer came.
You were out in the market again, picking up some fresh bread for dinner. The smell of the bakery wafted through the air, warm and comforting. You had just handed over your coins to the baker when you felt that familiar presence—something just outside the edge of your awareness, like a shadow that suddenly moved.
Turning slightly, your eyes caught sight of Logan standing near a fruit cart, his hands in his pockets, watching you. It wasn’t a surprise this time, but your heart still gave a little flutter at the sight of him. You made your way over, the crowd parting as you walked.
"Logan," you greeted, a smile pulling at your lips before you could stop it.
"Y/N," he replied, nodding in acknowledgment. His expression didn’t change much, but there was something almost... pleased in his eyes. Like he had expected you to come over.
"Still passing through?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.
He glanced around the busy street before answering. "Seems like I’ve been here longer than I planned."
"Any reason for that?" you asked, half-joking but also genuinely curious.
Logan looked at you for a long moment, like he was debating how much to say. Finally, he shrugged. "No reason."
You didn’t believe him for a second, but you let it go. Instead, you gestured to the bread in your basket. "If you’re still around tomorrow, you should come by the park. I take the children there sometimes in the afternoons. It’s quieter than here."
Logan’s eyes flicked to yours, considering. "Maybe I will."
You nodded, feeling a strange sense of satisfaction from his answer. It was small, but it was something.
"Well," you said, shifting the basket on your arm. "I should get back before the boys tear the house down."
Logan smirked at that, and you felt a warmth spread through you at the sight of it. He wasn’t a man who smiled easily, but when he did, it felt like a reward.
"Take care," he said, his voice low and steady, and you couldn’t help but notice how those words made you feel safe in a way you hadn’t expected.
As you walked away, the warmth of his gaze stayed with you, lingering long after you’d turned the corner.
---
The next day, you found yourself at the park, just as you had promised. Edwin and Phillip were racing around, laughing as they chased each other, while Ada sat quietly by your side, her doll clutched in her hands.
You tried not to look around for Logan, but you couldn’t help it. Every time someone passed by, your heart gave a little jump, only to settle back down when you realized it wasn’t him.
Just as you were beginning to think he wouldn’t show, you heard the sound of heavy footsteps approaching. You didn’t need to look up to know who it was.
"Mind if I join you?" Logan’s voice was calm, but there was something in it that made you smile.
You glanced up, meeting his eyes. "Not at all."
Logan gave a nod, lowering himself onto the bench beside you. He stretched his long legs out, looking completely at ease. The sounds of the children’s laughter filled the air, and for a moment, you just sat in companionable silence.
“Boys giving you trouble?” he asked, his voice low and gravelly.
“They always do,” you replied, watching as Edwin tackled Phillip to the ground. “But I think they’d explode if they didn’t.”
Logan’s lips twitched at that—almost a smile. “Kids’ll do that. Got too much energy.”
You tilted your head, studying him out of the corner of your eye. “You got siblings?”
Logan paused for a second, like the question had caught him off guard. “Yeah. A brother.”
You didn’t press, sensing there was more to the story but knowing better than to pry. Instead, you turned your attention back to the children.
“Do you have any?” Logan asked, nodding toward the boys.
“No,” you said, shaking your head. “I look after them for the family I work for. They keep me busy, though. Might as well be mine.”
He gave a soft grunt of acknowledgment, resting his elbows on his knees.
“And her?” Logan nodded toward Ada, who sat a little apart from the boys, her doll tucked protectively in her arms.
“That’s Ada,” you said, smiling softly. “She’s the quiet one. A little sweet thing, really.”
“She’s got good taste,” Logan remarked, glancing at the doll in her hands.
You chuckled. “That was the least I could do for her. Life’s not exactly fun in that house.”
Logan’s gaze flicked toward you, something unreadable in his expression. “It never is.”
You frowned, catching the weight behind his words, but before you could ask what he meant, Ada wandered over to you. She gave Logan a curious glance but stayed close by your side.
“Who’s he?” Ada whispered, gripping your sleeve.
You smiled. “This is Logan. He’s a friend.”
Logan gave her a small nod, and Ada, ever cautious, just stared at him with wide eyes. After a beat, she leaned in close to you and whispered, “He looks like a bear.”
You tried—really tried—not to laugh, but it slipped out anyway. Logan gave a low chuckle of his own, shaking his head slightly.
“Smart kid,” he murmured.
Ada, encouraged by your laughter, gave a shy smile. Then she wandered back toward the boys, apparently satisfied with Logan’s presence.
“She’s got you figured out,” you teased, grinning.
Logan’s expression softened just a bit, and he gave a small shrug. “Kids see things plain.”
You leaned back on the bench, letting yourself relax. It was strange, how easy it felt to be around him. You didn’t know much about him—hardly anything, really—but something about Logan made you feel like you didn’t need to fill the silence with useless conversation.
“Do you ever stop moving?” you asked suddenly, curious. “You said you were just passing through, but it seems like you’ve stayed a bit longer.”
Logan didn’t answer right away. He stared out at the park, his expression thoughtful.
“Sometimes,” he said finally. “Not often, though.”
“That sounds lonely.”
His jaw twitched slightly, and he turned his head to look at you. “You get used to it.”
You held his gaze for a moment, sensing that there was more beneath the surface than he was letting on. But instead of prying, you just nodded, accepting his words for what they were.
“Well, if you ever feel like staying in one place for a bit, you know where to find me,” you said lightly.
Logan’s eyes flickered with something—something you couldn’t quite name—but he gave a small nod, like he was filing that thought away.
“Appreciate it,” he murmured.
Before you could say more, Edwin and Phillip came barreling toward you, out of breath and covered in dirt.
“Y/N! Y/N!” Edwin shouted. “Phillip said he could run faster than me, but I totally won!”
Phillip scowled, wiping mud off his cheek. “Only because you pushed me.”
“You pushed him?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at Edwin.
Edwin squirmed. “Not that hard.”
Logan snorted quietly, drawing both boys’ attention. They looked at him with wide, curious eyes.
“Who’s that?” Edwin whispered loudly, leaning closer to you.
“That’s Logan,” you said. “He’s a friend.”
Edwin tilted his head, squinting up at Logan. “You look tough.”
Logan’s lips twitched. “I get that a lot.”
“Can you fight?” Edwin asked eagerly, his eyes lighting up. “Like—like really fight?”
“Edwin!” you scolded, but Logan just gave a small chuckle.
“Yeah,” Logan said. “A bit.”
“Whoa!” Edwin’s jaw dropped, clearly impressed. Phillip, more cautious, stayed quiet but kept his eyes on Logan like he was trying to figure him out.
“Alright, enough of that,” you said, gently ushering the boys away. “Go play before I make you help with dinner.”
Edwin groaned but dragged Phillip along, the two of them running back toward the trees.
You glanced at Logan, shaking your head. “You’ve got yourself some new fans, it seems.”
Logan huffed softly. “Kids are alright.”
There was a pause, and then you asked quietly, “You really do keep moving, don’t you?”
Logan looked at you, his expression serious. “Yeah.”
You bit your lip, unsure of what to say. There was something in his eyes that told you he’d seen more than most—more than you could probably imagine.
“Well,” you said softly, “if you ever get tired of running, you know where to find me.”
Logan held your gaze for a long moment, his eyes searching yours. Then, with the barest hint of a smile, he nodded.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
---
You saw Logan more often than not. Truth be told, you enjoyed his presence. He was different than the other men you had met, not as harsh, didn’t look down on you, or see you as an object.
One day, while walking around the market with a small basket, filled with a few apples and some bread, you looked at a carriage, rolling along the brick road with a horse in front.
“I never learned how to ride a horse,” you said, glancing at the carriage as it rolled along the cobblestone street. The words came out before you even knew why you said them, maybe just filling the space between you and Logan.
Logan, walking beside you, gave you a sidelong glance. The faintest trace of a smirk played at the corner of his mouth. “That right?”
You shrugged, shifting the basket in your hand. “Never had a reason to, I suppose. And it’s not exactly something you pick up living in the city.”
He made a low noise in his throat that could have been agreement. For a moment, the two of you walked in companionable silence, the sounds of the market buzzing around you—vendors calling out, the clip-clop of hooves, the soft rustle of autumn leaves underfoot.
“Wouldn’t take much to learn,” Logan said finally, his voice easy. “Reckon you’d be good at it.”
You shot him a skeptical glance. “How would you know?”
Logan gave a lazy shrug. “Just a guess.”
There was something in his tone, though—something soft and amused that made your cheeks warm. You glanced away, pretending to be very interested in a stall selling ribbons, though your attention kept drifting back to Logan.
“You know how to ride, then?” you asked after a moment, keeping your tone casual.
He nodded. “Yeah. Picked it up when I was a kid.”
You raised an eyebrow, curious despite yourself. “Where’d you grow up?”
“Here and there,” he answered vaguely, though not unkindly. You got the sense that there was a lot more to the story—things he wasn’t ready to share. And maybe things you weren’t quite ready to ask about. Not yet, anyway.
“Would you teach me?” you asked on impulse, surprising even yourself.
Logan glanced over, one brow raised, and for a moment, you thought he might laugh. But he didn’t. Instead, he gave a small nod, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“Sure,” he said simply.
A smile tugged at your lips before you could stop it.
“When?” you pressed, feeling strangely excited by the idea.
Logan thought for a moment, his gaze drifting toward the road ahead. “Next Sunday,” he decided. “There’s a place just outside the city. I know a guy who’s got a couple of good horses.”
You felt a flicker of doubt—after all, you had responsibilities, and it wasn’t as though you could just abandon the children for the day. But Logan must have noticed your hesitation because he gave you a reassuring look.
“Bring the kids,” he offered. “They can run wild while you learn.”
That made you laugh softly. “You really think I can keep up with them and learn to ride a horse?”
Logan’s lips twitched. “I’ll handle the boys if they get out of hand.”
You gave him a skeptical look. “You don’t know what you’re offering.”
“I’ve handled worse,” Logan said with a grin that made your stomach do an odd little flip.
You opened your mouth to respond, but just then, a vendor called out, advertising fresh apples, and you were drawn toward the stall. Logan followed at a leisurely pace, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat.
You picked a couple of apples, inspecting them before adding them to your basket. As you handed a coin to the vendor, you glanced at Logan again.
“Next Sunday, then?” you asked, as if you still needed confirmation.
Logan gave a small nod. “Next Sunday.”
Something about the way he said it—calm and certain—made you believe it would actually happen. And for the first time in a long while, you found yourself looking forward to something.
---
The boys were already running rampant in the large field, their shouts of laughter echoing across the open space. You could see Edwin trying to race Phillip again, their legs kicking up dirt as they charged back and forth. Ada, ever the quiet one, sat nearby on a stack of hay, her doll in her lap, watching them with a little smile on her face.
You stood near the horses, feeling a flutter of nervous energy in your stomach. Logan was beside you, calm as always, holding the reins of a chestnut mare with an ease that made it all look far simpler than you knew it was. He glanced over at you, his dark eyes catching yours, and you could see the trace of a smirk tugging at his lips.
“You sure about this?” Logan asked, nodding toward the horse.
You swallowed, staring up at the mare. “Sure. How hard can it be?”
Logan gave a quiet laugh, clearly not convinced. “We’ll see.”
He held the reins steady, motioning for you to come closer. You did, taking a deep breath as you placed your hand on the saddle. The horse shifted slightly, and you jumped back a little, making Logan chuckle again.
“She’s not gonna bite,” he said, his voice low and amused.
“I know that,” you muttered, embarrassed but trying not to show it. “I just wasn’t ready.”
Logan gave a small shrug, stepping around to stand beside you. “C’mon. Foot in the stirrup. I’ll help you up.”
You hesitated for only a second before nodding. Grabbing hold of the saddle, you placed your foot in the stirrup just like he’d told you, and then you felt Logan’s hand on your waist, firm and steady. With one swift movement, he lifted you up onto the horse, and suddenly you were sitting much higher than you’d expected.
You gripped the reins tightly, your heart racing a little.
“There,” Logan said, standing back with his arms crossed. He looked up at you, giving a small nod of approval. “Not bad.”
You glanced down at him, a bit breathless. “I’m on the horse, but that doesn’t mean I can ride it.”
Logan smirked. “One step at a time, darlin’.”
He moved around to grab the reins, keeping his voice low and calm as he spoke to the mare, guiding her gently in a slow circle around the field. You held on, trying to keep yourself steady in the saddle. It wasn’t as hard as you thought it would be, but every time the horse took a step, you felt your stomach flip a little.
Logan kept walking beside you, close enough that you could hear him, though his voice was quiet. “You’re doin’ fine.”
“I feel ridiculous,” you muttered, glancing over at the boys to make sure they weren’t watching. Of course, they were, but they seemed more interested in their own games than in you wobbling around on a horse.
“You look fine,” Logan said, and there was something in his tone that made you glance at him sharply.
His eyes flickered up toward yours for just a moment, and you felt that familiar warmth in your cheeks again. You looked away quickly, trying to focus on staying upright.
“You’re just sayin’ that,” you said, trying to sound casual.
Logan chuckled. “No. If you looked ridiculous, I’d tell you.”
The confidence in his voice made you smile despite yourself. You loosened your grip on the reins just a little, letting yourself relax. The horse moved steadily beneath you, her pace slow and even, and after a few moments, you realized it wasn’t so bad after all.
“You ready to try it on your own?” Logan asked, his voice easy.
You blinked. “You think I’m ready?”
“Yeah.” He handed the reins over to you, stepping back a little. “Just keep her steady. She’s not gonna take off on you.”
You nodded, taking a deep breath and gripping the reins tightly as you urged the horse forward. She responded, moving into a gentle walk, and you felt a little thrill of pride. Logan walked beside you for a few more steps, watching, but then he stopped, folding his arms across his chest as he watched you guide the horse around the field on your own.
“You’re a natural,” he called out, a grin tugging at his lips.
You laughed softly, feeling a bit more confident now. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
As you circled back around toward him, you slowed the horse, bringing her to a stop in front of Logan. He looked up at you, his eyes warm and approving.
“Told ya,” he said. “Not so hard, is it?”
You shook your head, smiling. “Not as hard as I thought.”
Logan reached up, taking the reins from your hands. “C’mon. Let’s get you down.”
This part felt a little trickier, but Logan was there, steadying you as you swung your leg over the saddle and slid down. His hands were firm on your waist again, and for just a moment, you were standing close enough to catch the scent of leather and something else—something distinctly Logan.
“Thanks,” you said softly, looking up at him.
Logan’s eyes held yours for a long moment, something unreadable flickering in his gaze. Then he gave a small nod, stepping back.
“Anytime,” he said, his voice low.
Before you could say anything else, the boys came running over, breathless and wild from their playing. Edwin looked up at the horse, his eyes wide with excitement.
“Can I ride next?” he asked, practically bouncing on his toes.
You glanced at Logan, raising an eyebrow. “You said you’d handle them if they got out of hand, remember?”
Logan sighed, giving you a wry smile. “Yeah, I remember.”
He looked at Edwin, then nodded toward the horse. “Alright, kid. Let’s see what you’ve got.”
As Logan helped Edwin onto the horse, you stepped back, watching with a small smile. The sun was starting to dip lower in the sky, casting a golden glow over the field, and for a moment, everything felt peaceful. You glanced at Ada, who was still sitting on the haystack, her doll in her arms, watching the scene with quiet interest.
Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to let yourself enjoy moments like this.
As Logan guided Edwin around the field, you found yourself watching him more than the horse. There was something about the way he moved—strong, sure, like he belonged here, like he was more comfortable in this quiet, open space than anywhere else.
And as he turned, catching your eye for just a moment, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, he’d found something here worth staying for.
---
“You ever think about gettin’ outta the city?” Logan asked, his voice low. “Findin’ somewhere quieter?”
You glanced at him, a little surprised by the question. “I’ve thought about it. But… I’ve got responsibilities.”
Logan nodded slowly, his eyes distant as he stared out at the horizon. “Yeah. Responsibilities.”
The way he said it made you wonder if he was thinking about something—or someone—far away. You’d learned quickly that Logan wasn’t one to talk much about his past, and though you were curious, you didn’t push.
You turned a jar of honey over in your hand, Mr. Thomas had asked you to buy them another jar while you were out. “If I didn’t have responsibilities, I’d like to live out in a cabin, away from everything else. Sometimes things here are noisy. I’d just like to… I don’t know, exist without worryin’ about anything.”
Logan, standing beside you, his hands shoved in his pockets, gave a small grunt of agreement. "Sounds nice."
You glanced at him, curious. "You ever think about it? Leaving the city behind, finding a quiet spot somewhere?"
Logan paused for a moment, his gaze distant. "Yeah. Sometimes."
The simplicity of his answer hung in the air between you, and for a second, you wondered if he'd actually let himself think about settling down. It seemed unlikely, given how much he kept moving, but there was something in the way he said it, something almost wistful.
"You don't seem like the kind of guy who stays in one place for too long," you teased, shifting the basket in your hand as you handed the vendor a coin for the honey.
Logan shrugged, a small smirk playing at his lips. "Guess not."
You both fell into a comfortable silence as you continued walking through the market. The streets bustled with people, but somehow, with Logan by your side, it all felt a little less overwhelming. You didn't have to fill the quiet with pointless chatter. He wasn’t like the others in the city—constantly rushing, looking for something to gain. He just… existed, like you wanted to.
As you passed by a small stall selling flowers, you slowed down, your eyes catching on a bouquet of wildflowers that reminded you of something you'd see out in the countryside. Logan noticed, his eyes following your gaze.
"You like those?" he asked, nodding toward the flowers.
You smiled softly. "Yeah. They remind me of… I don’t know, freedom, I guess."
Logan gave a small chuckle. "Freedom, huh?"
You shrugged, suddenly feeling a little silly. "I know it sounds strange. It’s just… being stuck in the city all the time, I don’t get to see much of the world outside these streets."
He didn’t laugh or brush it off like most people would have. Instead, Logan looked at you for a moment, his expression serious.
"Maybe one day," he said quietly, "you’ll get that cabin. Find some peace."
There was something about the way he said it that made your heart skip a beat, but before you could respond, a commotion erupted a few stalls down. Edwin and Phillip came barreling toward you, laughing and out of breath, their hands full of something they clearly weren’t supposed to have.
"Y/N!" Edwin shouted, holding up a small sack of apples. "Look what we got!"
You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. "And how exactly did you 'get' those?"
Phillip, ever the quieter one, shifted nervously on his feet. "We didn’t steal them! Mr. Turner gave them to us after we helped him with his cart."
You glanced over to where Mr. Turner, a kind old man who often sold apples at the market, was smiling and waving in your direction.
"Alright," you said, sighing with relief. "But you’d better not be causing any trouble."
Logan chuckled under his breath, watching the boys with amusement. "They’re just having fun."
"Yeah, until someone gets hurt," you muttered, though you couldn’t help but smile at their excitement.
Edwin, noticing Logan for the first time, grinned. "Hey, Logan! You ever been in a real fight?"
Logan smirked, glancing at you before turning back to the boys. "A couple."
Edwin’s eyes lit up. "Tell us about one!"
"Edwin," you warned, shaking your head. "Logan doesn’t have time to tell you all his stories."
But Logan didn’t seem to mind. He crouched down to the boys’ level, his expression serious as he spoke in that low, gravelly voice of his.
"Alright, but just one. There was this guy… big, tough-looking fella, thought he could take me down. We were out in the middle of nowhere, no one around for miles. He comes at me with this huge stick, thinking that’ll be enough."
Edwin and Phillip leaned in, wide-eyed, hanging on every word.
"So, what happened?" Edwin asked, barely able to contain himself.
Logan’s smirk deepened. "Let’s just say, he learned real quick not to mess with me."
The boys erupted into laughter, completely captivated by the idea of Logan taking down some big, burly guy.
You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help the smile creeping onto your face. "You’re gonna give them ideas, you know."
Logan stood, shrugging casually. "Kids need a little excitement."
"Not too much," you muttered, though you were grateful for the way he interacted with them. Most men in the city didn’t have the patience for children, especially not boys as wild as Edwin and Phillip.
As the boys ran off again, Logan glanced over at you, his expression softening just a bit.
"They look up to you," he said quietly.
You looked down, shrugging. "They’re good kids. Just need someone to look after them."
Logan was quiet for a moment, watching the boys as they disappeared into the crowd. Then, almost as if the thought had just occurred to him, he turned back to you.
"You ever think about having your own?" he asked, his tone surprisingly gentle.
The question caught you off guard, and for a moment, you didn’t know how to respond. You hadn’t really thought about it—not seriously, anyway. Your life was too full of other people’s children, other people’s problems.
"I don’t know," you said slowly, glancing up at him. "Maybe someday. If I ever get that cabin, I might think about it."
Logan nodded, but didn’t say anything more. He just walked beside you, the two of you falling back into that easy, comfortable silence.
It wasn’t until later, as you lay in bed that night, that you found yourself thinking about his question again. The idea of a quiet life, away from the noise and chaos of the city, didn’t seem so impossible anymore—not when you imagined Logan there with you.
---
One night, after you had put the boys to sleep and were in Ada’s room to read a story to her, she asked you a question. “Why aren’t you like mama and papa?”
You raised your head from the book you were reading to her, “what do you mean?”
Her lips formed a small pout, “mama has papa, but you don’t have anyone.”
You blinked, caught off guard by Ada’s question. Her innocent curiosity made your heart ache, but you kept your voice steady.
“Well, sweetie,” you started, trying to find the right words, “sometimes, people are just on their own for a little while. It doesn’t mean they won’t find someone. Maybe they just haven’t yet.”
Ada considered this, her small brow furrowed in thought. “But you’re so nice. Why doesn’t anyone love you?”
The simplicity of the question stung more than it should have. You chuckled softly, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “It’s not that simple, Ada. But thank you for saying that.”
She didn’t seem satisfied with your answer, her tiny face still scrunched up in confusion. “Don’t you get lonely?”
You hesitated, glancing out the window at the darkening sky. The truth was, sometimes you did. Even though you were surrounded by people—taking care of the children, managing the house—you couldn’t deny that feeling creeping in every now and then.
“I have you, don’t I?” you finally said, smiling down at her. “And Edwin and Phillip. You three keep me pretty busy.”
Ada giggled softly at that, settling into her blankets. “I guess. But I think you should find someone, like mama did.”
You gave her a light kiss on the forehead, smoothing down her hair. “Maybe one day, kiddo.”
Ada yawned, her eyes drooping as sleep crept up on her. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Goodnight, Ada,” you whispered, watching her drift off. You stayed there for a moment longer, thinking about her words, before quietly slipping out of the room.
The house was silent as you made your way down the hall, but your mind was anything but. Her innocent question stirred something inside of you, a longing that you hadn’t let yourself fully acknowledge. It wasn’t like you to dwell on what you didn’t have, but maybe… maybe Ada was right. Maybe there was something missing.
But it wasn’t something you could focus on right now. You had responsibilities. This family depended on you, and that was enough for now. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.
As you reached your room and closed the door behind you, you caught sight of the bouquet of wildflowers Logan had quietly bought earlier in the day. You hadn’t noticed him purchase them at the market, but when you returned to the house, they were there on the doorstep, a small note attached that simply read, Thought you’d like these.
You smiled to yourself, gently picking up the flowers and placing them in a vase by the window. You hadn’t thought much about having someone of your own, but as you looked at the flowers, you couldn’t help but wonder what it might be like.
And, for the first time in a long while, the idea didn’t seem so far away.
---
The next few days passed quietly, with Logan visiting you at the market more frequently, though neither of you mentioned the wildflowers. There was an unspoken understanding between you—neither of you rushed things, but the connection was undeniably growing.
One afternoon, as you sat outside with Ada on your lap, reading her a story, Logan appeared at the gate. The children spotted him first, of course, and Edwin ran over, grinning ear to ear.
“Logan! You’re back!” he shouted, tugging at Logan’s coat. “Did you bring us any stories?”
Logan gave a soft grunt, glancing over at you with a smirk. “I might have one or two left.”
You shook your head, amused. “They’ll never leave you alone if you keep telling them stories, you know.”
Logan crouched down, ruffling Edwin’s hair. “I don’t mind,” he said, his gaze softening as he glanced at Ada in your lap. “How’re you doin’, kid?”
Ada looked up from the book and smiled shyly, giving him a small wave. “Hi, Logan.”
He smiled, the sight of the children always easing something in him, though he didn’t let it show too much.
As the kids ran off to play, Logan took a seat beside you on the bench. The two of you sat in silence for a while, watching the children chase each other across the yard.
“They’re good kids,” Logan said finally, breaking the quiet.
“They are,” you agreed. “They’ve got a lot of love to give, and not always enough people around to give it to.”
Logan turned his head slightly, his eyes studying you. “That include you?”
You looked down, fidgeting with your skirt. “Maybe. I spend so much time looking after everyone else, sometimes I forget there’s more to life than just… this.”
Logan didn’t say anything at first, just watched you quietly. Then, his voice low, he asked, “You ever think about finding something more?”
You turned to him, surprised by the question. “I don’t know if I’ve let myself think that far ahead,” you admitted, your heart beating a little faster under his gaze.
Logan looked away, his jaw tightening slightly as if he was holding something back. “Maybe you should.”
The weight of his words lingered in the air between you, and for the first time, you felt a pull—a possibility of something beyond the life you’d built here. Something you hadn’t allowed yourself to dream about until now.
But before either of you could say more, the children’s laughter echoed through the yard, and the moment passed. Still, the feeling stayed with you long after Logan left that evening.
---
The sky had taken on that soft orange hue of evening, the kind that made the whole world feel suspended between day and night. You and Logan walked side by side along the Hudson River, the sound of water gently lapping against the shore mixing with the distant hum of the city. It had become your routine over the past few weeks, these evening walks—quiet, almost intimate, even though neither of you said much.
Today, though, something felt different. Logan had been quieter than usual, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, his usual gruff demeanor softened by the fading sunlight. Every now and then, you’d catch him glancing at you from the corner of his eye, as if there was something he wanted to say but couldn’t find the words.
“You alright?” you asked, your voice cutting through the comfortable silence.
Logan nodded, though his expression didn’t quite match the motion. “Yeah, just… thinkin’.”
“About?”
He stopped walking, turning to face the river. You followed his gaze, watching the way the sun’s reflection danced on the surface of the water. After a long moment, he spoke.
“I’ve never really… had this before,” he said, his voice low, almost hesitant. “Y’know, just… bein’ with someone like this. Feels kinda strange.”
You smiled softly, stepping closer to him, close enough that your arm brushed against his. “Strange in a good way?”
Logan let out a short, almost nervous chuckle. “Yeah. In a good way.”
The two of you stood there, side by side, watching the sun dip lower in the sky. You could feel the warmth of his presence, his arm just barely touching yours, and it sent a small thrill through you. You hadn’t been sure at first if what you felt for Logan was mutual��he was quiet, reserved, hard to read—but moments like this, when the world seemed to narrow down to just the two of you, made it clear. There was something unspoken between you, something neither of you had dared to put into words.
After a while, you turned to face him, studying the way his brow was furrowed, like he was deep in thought.
“Logan,” you said softly.
He looked at you then, really looked at you, his hazel eyes meeting yours with a kind of intensity that made your heart skip a beat. For a moment, neither of you moved, the air thick with something unsaid.
Before you could second-guess yourself, you reached out and took his hand, your fingers slipping into his. Logan stiffened at the touch, his eyes flicking down to where your hands were joined, but he didn’t pull away. If anything, he stepped closer, his fingers curling around yours, holding on a little tighter.
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before either,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
Logan’s gaze softened, his usual guarded expression cracking just enough to let something more vulnerable show through. He hesitated, like he was trying to find the right words, but then decided words weren’t necessary.
Instead, he took a small step forward, his free hand coming up to gently cup the side of your face. His touch was warm, rough, but there was a surprising tenderness in the way his thumb brushed lightly against your cheek. You held your breath, your heart pounding in your chest as he leaned in, his eyes flicking between yours as if asking for permission.
When you didn’t pull away, he closed the distance.
The kiss was soft, almost tentative at first, like he was testing the waters. But the second your lips met his, something inside you seemed to melt, and you leaned into him, deepening the kiss. Logan responded in kind, his grip on your hand tightening as he pulled you closer, the space between you disappearing entirely.
For a moment, it was just the two of you—the sound of the river fading away, the world narrowing down to the warmth of Logan’s lips against yours, the feel of his hand cradling your face like you were something precious.
When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathing a little heavier, your foreheads resting against each other as you stood there, wrapped in the soft glow of the setting sun.
Logan’s eyes fluttered open, and he gave you a small, almost sheepish smile. “Didn’t think I’d be kissin’ you tonight.”
You laughed softly, still a little breathless. “Neither did I.”
He pulled you closer, resting his chin on top of your head as he held you against him. The two of you stood there in the fading light, wrapped up in each other, the world beyond the river momentarily forgotten.
---
Logan thought back to your conversation about living in a cabin more than he cared to admit. The thought of it seemed nice, peaceful, and dare he say it perfect.
After a few weeks of being together, Logan had made a decision and scrounged up any money he could before buying a modest ring from a jeweler. He wasn’t going to propose yet but carrying the ring in his pocket felt right.
He had been coming over to the Thomases’ sprawling estate more often, whether it was walking with you from the market to the large house or even just stopping by of his own will. At first, it had been an occasional thing—a quiet visit here, a quick walk there—but lately, Logan found himself looking for excuses just to be around. You didn’t seem to mind. In fact, the way your eyes lit up when you saw him made him feel something unfamiliar, something good.
One late afternoon, Logan leaned against the garden gate, watching as you knelt by a row of flowers, tending to them with your usual care. He couldn’t help but admire the sight—your sleeves rolled up, hair slightly tousled from the breeze, a small smile on your lips as you worked. It made something in his chest tighten. He fingered the ring in his pocket, feeling its weight. He had no plan to use it anytime soon, but carrying it felt right, like a promise to himself.
You glanced up, catching his eye, and smiled, wiping your hands on your apron as you stood. "Back again, Logan?"
"Guess so," he replied, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Thought you might need a hand."
"Well, I could always use one," you teased, stepping closer to him. "But you don’t strike me as the gardening type."
Logan chuckled, reaching out to take your hand, pulling you a little closer. "Not much of a gardener, no. But I can stand here and look good while you do all the work."
You rolled your eyes playfully but didn’t let go of his hand. The easy banter between you had become natural, and the affection between you had grown, unspoken but undeniable. After a moment, you tugged him toward a bench under a nearby tree.
“Sit with me for a minute,” you said softly. “I’ve been out here all day.”
He followed, sitting beside you as the evening breeze rustled the leaves above. The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a while, watching the shadows lengthen as the sun began to set. Logan glanced at you from the corner of his eye, the warm light catching the curve of your face.
“You ever think this is enough?” he asked suddenly, his voice quiet but clear.
You looked over at him, eyebrows raised. “What do you mean?”
Logan hesitated, his fingers still laced with yours. “Just… this. Bein’ together. Doesn’t need to be more complicated than that.”
You smiled softly, leaning your head against his shoulder. “I think it is enough,” you said after a moment. “I like this, Logan. I like us.”
His heart beat a little faster at your words, and without thinking, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. It wasn’t a big gesture, but it felt natural, like something he’d been wanting to do for a while. You tilted your head up, meeting his eyes, your lips curving into a gentle smile.
“You keep that up, and I’m never gonna let you go,” you teased, though there was something softer, almost serious, in your tone.
Logan smirked, pulling you closer until your legs brushed against his. “Don’t see a reason to.”
Your fingers traced absent patterns on the back of his hand, your touch light and thoughtful. “You know, I used to wonder if I’d ever feel this way about someone,” you admitted softly, your eyes focused on your hands. “If I’d ever meet someone who made me feel… like this.”
Logan was quiet for a moment, watching you, feeling the warmth of your words settle deep inside him. He’d never thought he’d find someone who made him feel like this either—like he didn’t have to keep moving, like maybe he’d found something worth staying for. He wanted to tell you that, to say what he was feeling, but the words stuck in his throat. So instead, he squeezed your hand, hoping you’d understand what he couldn’t say yet.
You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his. The connection between you, the pull, was undeniable. Logan leaned in, his hand slipping to the back of your neck as he pressed his lips to yours. The kiss was slow, tender, like both of you were taking your time, savoring the moment. When you pulled back, your forehead rested against his, and for a second, the world outside the garden didn’t exist.
“I could stay like this forever,” you whispered, your breath warm against his lips.
Logan’s hand tightened on yours. “Maybe we will,” he murmured back, the words slipping out before he could stop them.
You smiled, your eyes soft as you leaned in and kissed him again, slow and sweet. When you pulled back this time, you didn’t say anything, just settled into his side, your head resting against his chest as the two of you watched the sky shift into shades of pink and orange.
The world outside may have been complicated, full of responsibilities and noise, but here, with Logan beside you, it felt simple. Peaceful. Like this was all that mattered.
---
One late afternoon, you were sitting on the porch with Ada and the boys, telling them stories while they played at your feet. Logan leaned against the fence, watching you from a distance, his heart swelling at the sight of you surrounded by the children, laughing and carefree.
“You look like you’re thinkin’ about somethin’ serious,” your voice cut through his thoughts, pulling him back to the present. You stood up, walking over to him, a teasing smile on your face.
Logan shrugged, trying to play it off. “Just thinkin’ about how you handle those kids like it’s nothin’.”
You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Trust me, it’s something. They’re a handful.”
Logan smiled, reaching out to take your hand. “You’re good at it. I like watchin’ you with them.”
Your cheeks flushed slightly at his compliment, and you glanced down, trying to hide the small smile playing at your lips. “Well, you’re not so bad with them yourself. Edwin won’t stop talking about that story you told him.”
Logan chuckled, shaking his head. “Kid’s got a wild imagination.”
You leaned in closer, your fingers playing with the hem of his sleeve. “Maybe he gets that from you.”
He smirked, slipping his arm around your waist and pulling you into him. “Think so?”
“I know so,” you whispered, your breath brushing against his neck.
For a moment, the world around you seemed to fade away, and it was just the two of you, standing in the soft glow of the afternoon sun. Logan’s hand slid up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin before he leaned down and kissed you, slow and deliberate, like he was memorizing the feel of your lips against his.
When he pulled back, your eyes were half-closed, your expression soft and content. “Logan,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “What are we doing?”
He looked at you, his thumb still tracing soft circles on your cheek. “Doin’ what feels right.”
You smiled, resting your forehead against his. “Yeah. It does feel right.”
The sound of the children’s laughter broke the quiet moment between you, and you both turned to see Ada running toward you, her little legs carrying her as fast as they could. “Y/N! Y/N!” she shouted, her face flushed with excitement. “Come play with us!”
You laughed, pulling away from Logan just enough to crouch down and catch Ada in your arms. “Alright, alright! I’m coming.”
As you stood, you glanced back at Logan, your eyes lingering on him for a moment longer. He gave you a small nod, his lips quirking into a smile, and you turned back to the children, running off with them into the yard.
Logan watched you for a while longer, his hand slipping into his pocket where the small ring rested. It wasn’t time yet, but someday, maybe he’d ask. Someday, when the moment was right.
For now, this was enough.
And for the first time in his life, that was all Logan wanted.
---
“Mrs. Thomas is sick. She wanted me to pick up some things for her before the doctor comes to check her out,” you explained, adding a sprig of thyme to your basket and handing the vendor a coin.
Logan stood beside you, hands stuffed in his pockets, watching you with a casual ease that had become second nature to him. “What’s wrong with her?” he asked, though his tone wasn’t heavy—just curious.
You shrugged, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “Probably just a cold. She’s been coughing a bit, but Mr. Thomas thinks she’ll be fine.”
Logan’s jaw ticked slightly, his eyes following the movement of your hand as it tucked the hair behind your ear. “You sure you should be around her if she’s sick?”
You smiled at his concern, nudging him lightly with your elbow. “It’s part of the job, Logan. Besides, I’ve been with her every day. If I was going to get sick, it would’ve happened by now.”
He frowned, not entirely convinced, but let it drop. You were stubborn like that—always brushing things off when they concerned you.
As you moved from stall to stall, picking out fresh herbs, bread, and tea, Logan trailed beside you, a silent presence at your side. It was comfortable—natural, even. You could feel him close, his arm brushing yours now and then, and though neither of you said much, it was the kind of quiet that felt good.
When you handed the grocer a coin for a small loaf of bread, Logan’s voice broke the easy silence. “You want me to walk you back?”
You glanced up at him, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Trying to sneak more time with me?”
Logan grinned, his hands still tucked in his coat pockets. “Maybe.”
Your laugh was soft and warm, and Logan swore it was one of his favorite sounds.
“You don’t have to, but I won’t say no if you want to,” you teased, shifting the basket on your hip. “The Thomases live all the way across town, though.”
Logan rolled his shoulders in a lazy shrug. “Don’t mind.”
With that settled, the two of you set off toward the Thomases’ estate, falling into step beside each other. The streets bustled with the usual afternoon crowds—vendors hawking their goods, carts rattling down cobbled roads, children darting through the streets. Yet somehow, it felt like the two of you existed in your own little world, insulated from the noise of the city.
“You been working much?” you asked after a moment, glancing sideways at him.
Logan nodded. “Yeah. Couple of odd jobs here and there.”
“Same ones?”
“Mostly.” He paused, as if debating whether to say more. Then, with a smirk, he added, “Not much call for a guy like me who’s no good with flowers.”
You laughed, the sound light and easy. “Well, I’m sure someone will take pity on you eventually.”
He bumped his shoulder against yours gently. “You already did.”
You rolled your eyes, but the smile stayed on your face. “Lucky you.”
The walk was long, but neither of you minded. You pointed out things along the way—shops you liked, shortcuts you’d found, little bits of the city you’d come to know well in your time working for the Thomases. Logan listened, his attention fixed on you, and though he didn’t say much, you could tell he was soaking up every word.
When the two of you reached the tall iron gates of the Thomases' estate, you hesitated, lingering just a bit longer with Logan at the edge of the garden.
“Thanks for walking me,” you said softly, your fingers brushing over his for the briefest second.
“Anytime,” he murmured, catching your hand before you could pull it away. He gave it a squeeze, his eyes lingering on yours. “You alright?”
You nodded. “I’m fine, Logan. Just worried about Mrs. Thomas, I guess.”
He studied you for a beat longer, his thumb absentmindedly brushing the back of your hand. “You’ll let me know if you need anything, yeah?”
You gave him a small smile, squeezing his hand in return. “Yeah. I will.”
Neither of you moved at first, as if caught in a moment you weren’t quite ready to let go of. Logan’s gaze flickered to your lips, and for a second, you thought he might kiss you—right there at the gate, with the late afternoon sun warming your skin and the scent of lavender drifting from the garden.
But instead, he leaned in and pressed a slow kiss to your temple, his lips lingering just long enough to leave you breathless.
“See you soon,” he murmured against your skin.
You swallowed, your heart thudding in your chest. “See you soon,” you whispered back.
Logan stepped away, his hands reluctantly slipping from yours, and you watched as he made his way back down the path. He didn’t look back, but somehow, you knew that he felt the same pull you did—the one that always seemed to draw you closer, no matter how far apart you were.
With a soft sigh, you turned and pushed open the gate, your basket swinging gently at your side as you made your way toward the house. The sun was beginning to dip lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the neatly trimmed lawn.
You didn’t know it yet, but the weight of that moment—of Logan’s hand in yours, of the way his kiss had felt against your skin—would stay with you. It would become one of those memories you’d carry in the quiet hours, long after everything had changed.
But for now, it was just another afternoon. And that was enough.
You slipped inside the Thomases’ estate, greeted by the familiar smell of baked bread and lavender from the garden. The children’s laughter echoed faintly from upstairs, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the unease you felt about Mrs. Thomas.
As you moved through the grand hallway, the weight of Logan’s lingering kiss on your temple stayed with you, soft and comforting. His presence, though absent now, always seemed to cling to the air around you like the warmth of a hearth after a long day.
“Y/N!” Edwin’s voice called from the top of the stairs. You looked up to find him peering down at you, his unruly curls falling into his eyes. “Can we go to the park after tea? Phillip says he can run faster than me, but I bet I’ll beat him this time.”
You smiled up at him, though your thoughts were still on Mrs. Thomas. “We’ll see about that, Edwin. But let’s check in on your mother first, alright?”
He nodded, though his face fell a little, understanding the importance of that moment.
Making your way to Mrs. Thomas’s room, you found the air heavier, a staleness clinging to it that made you pause at the door. You knocked softly before entering, the creak of the door barely disturbing the quiet. Mrs. Thomas lay in bed, propped up by pillows, her face pale and drawn. Her once vibrant eyes were duller now, and the small cough you had heard earlier seemed more persistent, rattling in her chest.
“Mrs. Thomas,” you said gently, approaching her bedside with the basket of fresh supplies. “I’ve brought some thyme and tea. The doctor will be here later this week.”
Mrs. Thomas offered a faint smile, though it barely touched her lips. “Thank you, dear. You’re always so thoughtful,” she said, her voice raspy. She shifted slightly, wincing at the effort it took. “I’m sure it’s just a little cold.”
You forced a smile, though something inside you tugged with worry. “Of course. Just a little cold.”
After a few more moments, you excused yourself, promising to return later. The house felt stifling, the sense of something being wrong making your chest tighten. Logan had been right to be concerned. But you brushed it aside, focusing on the children.
A few hours later, after Edwin had indeed beaten Phillip in a race through the park, and Ada had insisted on collecting wildflowers for her mother, the three children were settled with tea. You were cleaning up the kitchen when a familiar knock came at the back door.
Opening it, you found Logan leaning against the frame, that easy smile already softening the tension in your shoulders.
“Thought you might like some company,” he said, stepping inside and pulling you into a gentle embrace. The warmth of his arms around you instantly melted away the weight of the afternoon, and for a moment, you simply leaned into him, breathing him in.
“Good timing,” you murmured into his chest. “The kids are winding down for the night. Edwin’s convinced he’s going to be the fastest man in the world.”
Logan chuckled, his chest vibrating against your cheek. “Is that so? Guess I’ll have to challenge him one day.”
You smiled, pulling back slightly to look up at him. “He’d love that.”
There was a beat of quiet as Logan’s hand came up to brush a stray hair from your face, his thumb lingering just under your jaw. His gaze softened, searching yours for something. It was moments like this—small, tender—that reminded you just how much you’d come to care for him in these past few weeks.
“You alright?” he asked, voice low.
You hesitated, then nodded. “Just… worried about Mrs. Thomas. I don’t know, Logan, she seems worse than she’s letting on.”
Logan’s brow furrowed, his hands slipping down to rest on your waist. “She’s tough, right? She’ll pull through.”
You nodded again, though the doubt lingered. “I hope so.”
Logan leaned down, pressing his forehead to yours, the weight of his presence anchoring you. “You’ll let me know if you need anything?”
“I will,” you whispered, your hands resting on his chest.
He pulled back just enough to catch your lips in a slow, gentle kiss. It was familiar, the way his mouth moved against yours—steady, comforting, with that undercurrent of longing that always seemed to simmer just beneath the surface between you two. When you finally parted, his thumb brushed your cheek, his gaze still locked on yours.
“I hate leaving you here,” he murmured, the frustration clear in his voice. “Especially with her sick.”
You smiled softly, shaking your head. “I’ll be fine, Logan. Go home, get some rest.”
He gave a small grunt, clearly not thrilled with the idea of leaving, but he knew better than to argue when you got like this—determined and stubborn.
With a sigh, he leaned in once more, pressing a final kiss to your forehead before stepping back. “Alright. But I’m checking in tomorrow, whether you like it or not.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” you teased, though the warmth in your chest grew at his protectiveness.
Logan gave you one last smile before turning to head back out into the night, his coat swaying as he disappeared into the shadows. You watched him go, the familiar tug in your chest pulling at you again, but this time it wasn’t just affection. It was worry—a gnawing sense of unease that had been creeping in since that afternoon in the market.
You stood there at the back door for a moment longer, staring into the empty street, wondering if Logan could feel it too—the quiet, unspoken fear that something was about to change.
---
The next few days passed quietly, the routine of the Thomases’ household carrying on as usual—though the coughs from Mrs. Thomas’s room seemed to grow more frequent, more strained. You tried not to think too much of it, telling yourself it was only a cold, that the doctor would sort it out when he came to visit. But there was a part of you, small but insistent, that couldn’t shake the unease gnawing at your thoughts.
The children kept you busy, of course. Edwin was endlessly energetic, challenging Phillip to races and daring Ada to climb the low trees in the garden, much to your chagrin. Ada, sweet and delicate, clung to your side like a shadow, her small hand often finding yours as she babbled on about her imaginary tea parties and grand adventures. In their presence, it was easy to forget the worry in the back of your mind—at least for a little while.
But then, in the quiet moments—like when you helped Mrs. Thomas to her bed after one of her coughing fits, or when the house seemed far too still after the children had fallen asleep—your thoughts would drift back to Logan. To the way he had kissed your forehead that day at the back door, how his hand had lingered in yours just a second longer than usual, as if he’d sensed it too. That something was wrong.
You found yourself waiting for him. Every evening, as the sun dipped low over the city and the shadows lengthened in the streets, you listened for that familiar knock at the back door. And every evening, without fail, he would come—never too late, never too early, always arriving when you needed him most.
Tonight was no different.
You were sitting at the small table in the kitchen, a pot of tea cooling beside you, when the soft knock came. A smile tugged at your lips before you could stop it, your heart lifting in that familiar way as you crossed the room and opened the door.
Logan stood there, his dark hair slightly tousled from the evening breeze, his expression soft but watchful. He gave you that crooked smile that always seemed to make everything feel lighter, as if the world wasn’t such a heavy place when he was around.
“Thought I might find you here,” he said, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.
You shrugged, the smile still playing on your lips. “Where else would I be?”
He chuckled, moving to lean against the counter, his eyes flicking briefly to the teapot on the table. “You drinking alone?”
“For now,” you teased, pouring him a cup. “But I suppose I can share.”
Logan took the cup from you, his fingers brushing yours in that familiar way, sending a small, warm spark through your skin. He didn’t move to sit, though. Instead, he stayed close, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than usual, as if trying to read something in your face.
“What?” you asked softly, the weight of his stare making your heart flutter.
“Just checking in,” he said, his voice lower, more serious than before. “You look tired.”
You gave a small, weary laugh, shaking your head. “I’m fine, Logan. Just a lot on my mind.”
“Mrs. Thomas?” he guessed, sipping his tea.
You nodded, glancing at the floor. “She’s getting worse. I’m trying not to worry, but… I don’t know, something doesn’t feel right.”
Logan’s brow furrowed, and he set his cup down, moving to stand beside you. His hand came up to rest on your shoulder, his thumb brushing lightly against the fabric of your sleeve. “If you need me to do anything—get more medicine, fetch the doctor sooner—you just say the word.”
You met his gaze, your chest tightening at the concern etched into his face. He always made you feel safe, even when you didn’t want to admit how scared you were. You reached up, covering his hand with yours, squeezing it gently.
“I know,” you murmured. “Thank you.”
For a moment, the room was quiet again, the sounds of the city muted by the walls of the house. You could hear the faint crackle of the fire in the hearth, the distant hum of life outside, but here, in this small space, it felt like it was just the two of you. Just the two of you, and the warmth of his hand on your shoulder.
Logan shifted slightly, turning to face you more fully, his other hand coming to rest at your waist. He tugged you closer, his expression softening as he leaned in, his lips brushing your forehead in that tender way that always made your heart skip. But this time, he didn’t stop there. He tilted your chin up gently, his gaze flicking briefly to your lips before meeting your eyes again.
“C’mere,” he whispered, and you didn’t need any more coaxing.
Your arms slid up around his neck, pulling him in as his lips met yours in a slow, deliberate kiss. It was soft at first, tender, but there was a quiet intensity behind it, a sense of urgency you hadn’t felt before. Maybe it was the weight of the unspoken worry hanging between you, or maybe it was just that every time you kissed him, it felt like it could be the last. Either way, you melted into him, savoring the warmth of his mouth against yours, the way his hands tightened around your waist as if he didn’t want to let you go.
When you finally pulled back, your breath mingling with his, Logan rested his forehead against yours, his eyes closed as he let out a long, slow sigh.
“Stay with me tonight,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. You hadn’t meant to say it, but the words tumbled out before you could stop them. The thought of being alone with your worries, of facing the uncertainty of Mrs. Thomas’s illness by yourself, suddenly felt unbearable.
Logan’s eyes opened, his gaze soft but searching as he studied your face. “You sure?”
You nodded, your hands still resting at the nape of his neck. “I just… I don’t want to be alone.”
He didn’t hesitate after that. With a soft, reassuring smile, he nodded and pressed another kiss to your temple. “Alright. I’m here.”
---
The doctor had come by some days later bringing by news, Mrs. Thomas had tuberculosis. He gave her at least another month to live.
Mr. Thomas had instructed you to not let the kids near her as often, to make sure they don’t get sick. He didn’t seem to care much about Logan spending the night with you, or letting the kids be around him.
Logan had been spending more nights with you, by your request. It wasn’t something you talked about, just a quiet understanding between the two of you. The nights felt warmer with him beside you, the weight of the world a little lighter when you could lean against him. He never made a big deal out of it either. It was just...natural.
Tonight was no different. You sat by the fire in the small parlor, the children long since asleep upstairs. The flicker of the flames cast shadows across the room, and you caught yourself glancing toward the door, waiting for that familiar knock.
When it came, it was soft, almost hesitant. But you smiled, already rising to your feet to let him in. Logan stepped inside, brushing off the chill of the night as he shook the snow from his coat.
“Snow’s picking up out there,” he muttered, shrugging off the heavy coat and hanging it by the door. “Thought I’d get here before it got too bad.”
You nodded, wrapping your arms around yourself as you watched him. “I’m glad you did.”
He crossed the room, and without another word, his arms wrapped around you. You melted into his chest, resting your head against him as the fire crackled in the hearth. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his hand running down your back.
“You alright?” he asked quietly, his voice low. “You’ve been quiet lately.”
You sighed, pulling back just enough to look up at him. “I’m fine. Just tired. It’s… everything with Mrs. Thomas, the kids… I’m trying to keep it together.”
Logan frowned, his hands tightening slightly on your waist. “You don’t have to do it all yourself. You know that, right?”
“I know,” you said softly. “But I feel like I have to.”
“You don’t,” he repeated, his eyes searching yours. “I’m here.”
That simple statement hit you harder than you expected. You leaned up, pressing your lips to his in a soft, lingering kiss. He responded instantly, his hand coming up to cup your cheek, deepening the kiss as if he needed it as much as you did. It was slow and tender, and you found yourself pulling him closer, trying to forget the weight of everything else, if only for a moment.
When you finally pulled back, Logan rested his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your lips.
“You should sleep,” he whispered. “You’re exhausted.”
“Will you stay?” you asked, your voice small.
“Always,” he said without hesitation.
---
The nights blurred together. Logan was there more often than not, sometimes waiting for you when you finished putting the children to bed, other times arriving late after a day spent working. You hadn’t asked where he went during the day, and he hadn’t volunteered the information. It didn’t matter. When he was with you, everything else seemed to fade into the background.
The children, especially Ada, had continued asking why she couldn’t see her mother as often. It had broke your heart to tell her and the boys that their mom was sick, not going any further than that.
“They’ll understand one day,” Logan had said, trying to comfort you as you sat by the fire one evening. His arm was around your shoulders, his fingers brushing lightly against your arm.
You nodded, but the heaviness in your chest wouldn’t lift.
“I just want to help,” you murmured. “But I can’t.”
Logan was silent for a moment before he spoke again, his voice low. “You’re doing more than you think, Y/N. Just being here for the kids, for her... it matters.”
You looked up at him, your eyes searching his. There was something in the way he looked at you, something deeper than the usual concern. It was a look that made your heart skip, that made you realize just how much he had become a part of your life in such a short time.
He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before brushing his lips against yours in a slow, gentle kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, needing that connection, needing him.
When you finally pulled back, you rested your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Logan’s hand slid up to cradle the back of your head, his touch soothing.
“I’m here,” he whispered again, as if the words alone could make everything right.
And for a moment, they did.
---
You could tell that after a month and a half, Mrs. Thomas didn’t have much time left. Maybe a week at the most. She was so young, barely 30 years old, and already having to face the inevitable. Her coughing had become more violent, her body thinner with each passing day, and the sparkle in her eyes was gone. She was fading right before your eyes.
It had been a long day. The kids were more restless than usual, likely sensing the shift in the household. You’d spent most of the afternoon calming Edwin and Ada while trying to keep Phillip out of trouble. Ada, in particular, had been clingy, holding onto your skirt as you moved about the house, asking you why her mother wasn’t coming out of her room anymore.
You gave her the same answer as always. “Your mama’s just resting, sweetheart.”
But even she seemed to sense something was off.
By the time the sun had started to set, you felt the exhaustion in your bones. You barely touched your dinner, pushing food around your plate before giving up entirely. It wasn’t just the physical tiredness, though. It was something deeper. A strange ache in your chest, one you couldn’t quite explain. Maybe it was the weight of everything—Mrs. Thomas’s worsening condition, the children, Logan...
You hadn’t seen him tonight, and that small part of you that had grown used to his presence felt the void acutely. He had a way of grounding you, of making everything seem less overwhelming, if only for a little while. You didn’t want to admit it, but you were beginning to rely on him more and more.
As you climbed the stairs to check on the children, your steps felt heavier than usual. Fatigue, you told yourself. Just fatigue.
When you entered Mrs. Thomas’s room to help her settle for the night, she gave you a weak smile. “Thank you, Y/N... for everything.”
You smiled back, brushing her hair away from her face as you helped her lie down. “Don’t mention it. You just rest.”
Her breathing was shallow, the sound rattling in her chest. You tried not to let it show on your face, but inside, that gnawing worry had grown into a full-fledged fear. You knew the end was coming soon. You just hoped the children wouldn’t have to watch her fade.
---
Later that night, after the house had fallen quiet and the children were asleep, you sat by the small fire in the kitchen. You stared at the flickering flames, trying to let the warmth chase away the chill in your bones, but it wasn’t working.
You weren’t surprised when you heard the soft knock at the back door. Logan’s timing had always been impeccable, showing up when you needed him most, even if you hadn’t called for him. You rose from your seat and opened the door, letting him in with a small, tired smile.
“Cold out there,” he muttered, brushing the snow from his shoulders before stepping inside. He took one look at your face, and his brows furrowed. “You look exhausted, Y/N.”
You waved him off, shutting the door behind him. “It’s been a long day. Mrs. Thomas is...”
He didn’t need you to finish. He’d been coming by enough to know how bad things had gotten.
Logan crossed the small space between you and placed a hand on your arm. “You should be resting too. When’s the last time you got a full night’s sleep?”
You let out a tired laugh, shaking your head. “What is that again?”
“Y/N,” he said, his tone a mix of teasing and concern. “You can’t keep running yourself ragged. You’re no good to the kids if you get sick.”
His words hit a little too close to home. That lingering ache in your chest hadn’t gone away, and now, with him standing so close, it seemed to press harder, making it difficult to breathe. You ignored it, trying to focus on his warm hand still resting on your arm, grounding you.
“I’ll be fine,” you said quietly, leaning against him just slightly. “I just... I need you here. That’s all.”
Logan’s expression softened, and he slipped his arms around you, pulling you close. You rested your head against his chest, closing your eyes as his warmth enveloped you. It felt like everything else faded away when you were in his arms—like the weight of the world wasn’t quite so heavy.
“I’m here,” he murmured into your hair, his voice low. “I’m not going anywhere.”
You stayed like that for a moment, just holding onto him, letting his presence soothe the anxiety that had been gnawing at you all day. His hands ran up and down your back in slow, soothing motions, and you found yourself relaxing, your shoulders sagging as the tension melted away.
But that ache in your chest didn’t fade. If anything, it seemed to settle deeper, a dull, persistent throb that you couldn’t quite shake.
“I don’t know how much longer she has,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “Maybe a week. And the kids... I don’t know how to explain it to them.”
Logan sighed, his breath warm against your hair. “You’ll find the right words when the time comes. You always do.”
You weren’t sure about that, but you didn’t argue. Instead, you pulled back just enough to look up at him, your hands still resting against his chest. His eyes met yours, and for a moment, you could see the same worry you felt reflected in his gaze. But there was something else too—something softer, something that made your heart skip a beat.
Before you could say anything, Logan leaned down, pressing his lips to yours in a slow, tender kiss. It wasn’t rushed or urgent—just gentle, like he was trying to tell you without words that he was there, that you didn’t have to carry everything alone.
You kissed him back, your fingers curling into his shirt as you pulled him closer. For a few seconds, it was just the two of you, the world outside forgotten. But when you finally pulled back, the ache in your chest flared again, sharper this time, making you wince slightly.
Logan’s eyes narrowed, concern flashing across his face. “You alright?”
“Yeah,” you said quickly, brushing it off. “Just... tired, I guess.”
He didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t push it either. Instead, he kissed your forehead softly, his hands still holding you close. “You need to sleep. I’ll stay with you, okay?”
You nodded, letting him lead you to your small bedroom. As you lay down, Logan settled beside you, his arm draped around your waist as he pulled you close. You nestled against him, the warmth of his body soothing, but even as you drifted off to sleep, that strange ache lingered, a quiet reminder that something wasn’t right.
---
Over the next few days, you tried to ignore the fatigue that seemed to cling to you like a heavy blanket. You told yourself it was just the stress, the worry about Mrs. Thomas and the kids. But the truth was, deep down, you knew it was more than that.
Mr. Thomas had been around the house more often, spending almost every moment with his wife before she passed. It would only be a matter of days now. Her condition had deteriorated to the point where she was barely conscious most of the time, her labored breathing a constant reminder of the inevitable.
You moved quietly through the house, keeping the children occupied as best you could. Edwin and Phillip were rambunctious as always, but Ada had grown more subdued. She didn’t ask about her mother as often, as if sensing the unspoken truth everyone was trying to shield her from. You noticed how she clung to your side even more than usual, her small hands gripping your skirts, her wide eyes watching you with a kind of quiet understanding that broke your heart.
It was late afternoon, and the house was eerily quiet. The children were playing in the parlor, their laughter muffled behind the closed doors. You had just finished cleaning up the kitchen when a wave of exhaustion hit you. Your legs felt heavy, your chest tight. You hadn’t been sleeping well, the stress of Mrs. Thomas’s condition weighing on you, but this was different. Your appetite had been lacking for days, though you’d convinced yourself it was just nerves.
You leaned against the counter, taking a slow, deep breath to steady yourself. It would pass. You just needed rest.
Logan wasn’t due to visit tonight. He had mentioned something about work keeping him late, and you didn’t want to ask him to come by, though the ache in your chest—the one you tried to ignore—longed for his presence.
Shaking off the lingering fatigue, you made your way upstairs to check on Mrs. Thomas. As you reached the top of the stairs, you heard her soft, raspy breathing. You hesitated outside the door, your hand resting on the doorknob for a moment, before slowly opening it and stepping inside.
Mr. Thomas sat at his wife’s bedside, holding her hand gently. He glanced up at you, his face pale and drawn, the exhaustion of weeks of worry evident in his eyes. You gave him a small, comforting smile, though you weren’t sure how much comfort you could offer.
"Thank you, Y/N," he said quietly, his voice hoarse from lack of sleep and emotion. "For everything."
You nodded, moving to the other side of the bed to check on Mrs. Thomas. Her eyes were closed, her breathing shallow and uneven. She didn’t stir when you adjusted the blankets around her. The room was stifling, the air heavy with the scent of sickness, and you fought the urge to cough, your throat suddenly dry.
“She’s peaceful,” you murmured softly, glancing at Mr. Thomas.
He nodded but didn’t say anything. His gaze was fixed on his wife, his hand never leaving hers.
You stayed for a moment longer, but the fatigue creeping up your spine forced you to excuse yourself. As you descended the stairs, your legs felt weaker than before, and a dull ache had settled in your chest. You rubbed absently at your throat, trying to shake off the discomfort. It was nothing, you told yourself. Just tired.
The evening stretched on, the children finally quieting down for bed. You tucked them in, lingering for a moment by Ada’s bedside. She reached for your hand, her tiny fingers curling around yours.
“Will Mama be better soon?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
You swallowed the lump in your throat, brushing a lock of hair from her forehead. “She’s resting, sweetheart,” you said softly. “Just keep being brave, alright?”
Ada nodded, her eyes already heavy with sleep, though the worry didn’t leave her small face.
Once they were all asleep, you returned downstairs, your body feeling heavier with each step. The fire in the hearth had burned low, casting long shadows across the room. You sat by the fireplace, staring into the dying flames, and let the silence of the house settle over you.
And then there was a soft knock at the back door.
Your heart lifted despite the exhaustion weighing you down. You rose slowly and crossed the room, opening the door to find Logan standing there, snowflakes dusting his hair and coat. He gave you a crooked smile, his eyes scanning your face with concern.
“You look tired,” he said softly, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. “Really tired.”
“I’m fine,” you murmured, though the weariness in your voice betrayed you. “I wasn’t expecting you tonight.”
“I finished earlier than I thought,” he said, shrugging off his coat and hanging it by the door. “Thought I’d check on you.”
Without another word, he closed the distance between you, his arms wrapping around you in a gentle embrace. You melted into him, resting your head against his chest as the warmth of his body seeped into yours. For a moment, the ache in your chest seemed to ease, the fatigue lifting just a little.
“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
Logan pulled back slightly, his hand coming up to cup your cheek as he studied your face. “You don’t have to thank me,” he said softly, his thumb brushing against your skin. “I’m here.”
His lips met yours in a slow, tender kiss, and you felt the tension in your body begin to unravel. The warmth of his mouth, the familiar strength of his hands holding you close—it was all you needed in that moment. When the kiss ended, he rested his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours.
“You need to rest,” he murmured. “You look like you’re about to fall over.”
“I will,” you promised, though you didn’t want to leave his arms just yet. You leaned into him, letting his presence chase away the exhaustion for a little longer.
---
The funeral was only 6 days later, 4 days after Mrs. Thomas’ passing. She was buried at the Prospect Cemetery at a small affair with rich people you had only heard of in passing.
The funeral was a somber affair. Mrs. Thomas was laid to rest under a sky that threatened snow, and you stood a little ways back, holding Ada’s hand tightly. She had been unusually quiet since her mother’s passing, and even Edwin and Phillip had sensed the weight of the occasion, their usual energy tempered by the somber mood.
You glanced around at the crowd gathered—a sea of dark, expensive fabrics, murmured condolences, and familiar faces. Most of the people you recognized only by name or through brief encounters at the Thomas house. They didn’t seem to belong to the world you inhabited, their whispered conversations and distant gazes a reminder of the divide between their lives and yours.
Mr. Thomas stood near the front, his face a mask of stoicism as he accepted words of sympathy. His children had not left your side, and you knew why. They found more comfort in you than in the strangers who seemed to only appear during tragedies. You didn’t blame them.
As the ceremony came to a close, Ada tugged at your hand. "Can we go home now?" she asked quietly, her voice barely audible over the sound of rustling leaves and shifting boots in the cold.
You nodded, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. “We can, sweetheart. Just a few more minutes.”
You caught Mr. Thomas’s eye as he stepped away from the others. He gave you a weary nod, and you knew it was time to leave. You guided the children back to the carriage, helping them inside before following. The ride home was silent, save for the occasional sniffle from Ada and the creaking of the carriage wheels on the cobbled streets.
---
Back at the house, the quiet felt heavier than before. You could feel the weight of grief settling over everything, and it seemed to seep into your bones, making the fatigue that had been gnawing at you for days feel unbearable. Once the children were settled, you retreated to the kitchen, needing a moment to yourself.
But the moment you sat down, the ache in your chest flared up again, sharper this time. You tried to breathe through it, but the tightness only seemed to get worse. A cold sweat broke out on your forehead, and you pressed a hand to your throat, willing it to pass. It felt like something more than just exhaustion now. Something was wrong, but you didn’t have time to worry about it.
The back door creaked open, and you startled, your hand flying to your chest as Logan stepped in. His eyes immediately found yours, narrowing in concern.
“Y/N,” he said, his voice low but urgent as he crossed the room. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you muttered, forcing a weak smile as you tried to stand. “I’m just tired. Long day.”
But Logan wasn’t buying it. His hand caught yours, and he gently pulled you to him, his other hand resting on your waist. “You’ve been tired for days,” he said quietly, his eyes searching yours. “And you look worse now than you did a week ago.”
“I’m fine,” you insisted, leaning into his warmth without thinking. “Just... everything with Mrs. Thomas. I haven’t been sleeping well, that’s all.”
Logan didn’t say anything for a moment, just held you there, his thumb brushing slow circles against your hip. “You’re not fine,” he said softly. “You need to rest. You’re running yourself into the ground, and I don’t want—”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” you cut him off, shaking your head as you buried your face in his chest. “I just... I just want to stay like this for a while. Can we do that?”
Logan’s arms tightened around you, and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “We can stay like this as long as you need,” he whispered.
The warmth of his embrace, the steady rise and fall of his chest, calmed the rapid beating of your heart. It didn’t make the ache in your chest go away, but it dulled the edges for a little while. You stayed like that, your bodies swaying slightly, as if rocking back and forth would somehow soothe the turmoil inside you both.
After a long stretch of silence, Logan pulled back just enough to meet your eyes. His fingers brushed a loose strand of hair from your face, his gaze soft but serious. “You’ve gotta start taking care of yourself,” he murmured. “I mean it, Y/N.”
“I will,” you promised, though you weren’t sure how much of it was for him and how much was for yourself. You could see the worry etched in his features, and it made your heart ache in a different way. “I just... I don’t want to leave the kids right now. They need me.”
Logan sighed, shaking his head slightly. “They need you alive and healthy, not running yourself ragged.”
You knew he was right, but the thought of stepping away—of not being there for them when they needed you most—made your stomach turn.
“I know,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “But I’m all they have right now.”
Logan’s expression softened, and he leaned in to kiss you gently, his lips lingering against yours in a way that felt both comforting and urgent, as if he was trying to convey everything he couldn’t put into words.
When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your skin. “You’re not alone in this, Y/N,” he murmured. “I’m here. Always.”
You closed your eyes, letting the weight of his words settle over you. It was moments like this, in the quiet after the storm, that made everything feel bearable, even when the exhaustion seemed impossible to shake. You didn’t want to think about what came next—the inevitable questions from the children, the grief that would continue to hang over the house like a dark cloud.
For now, you just wanted to be here, with Logan, in this fleeting moment of peace.
---
Over the next few days, that small cough persisted, annoying but easy to brush off at first. You told yourself it was just the cold weather, or maybe the exhaustion still clinging to you. But it stuck around, and soon it wasn’t just a cough. Your chest felt heavier, and there were moments where you had to stop to catch your breath.
You didn’t say anything to Logan the first few nights he visited, not wanting to worry him. It wasn’t like you were coughing up blood or anything, and you figured it would pass, just like the fatigue had started to. But when he saw you rubbing your chest again, his eyes narrowed with concern.
“You’ve been coughing a lot,” Logan said one evening, his arm draped casually over your shoulder as you leaned into him by the fire. The warmth of the flames helped ease the tightness in your chest, but even then, it felt harder to breathe than it had before.
“I’m fine,” you mumbled, tucking your legs under you and snuggling closer to him, hoping to avoid the conversation. “It’s just the cold. Everyone’s getting sick this time of year.”
Logan tilted his head, clearly unconvinced. “Y/N, don’t pull that. I know you, and you’re coughing more than you should be. This isn’t just a cold.”
You sighed, not wanting to argue, but the exhaustion weighed on you, and fighting him off seemed too tiring. “Okay, maybe it’s not just a cold,” you admitted, glancing at him. “But it’s nothing serious. I’m just run down.”
Logan’s fingers gently traced up your arm, his touch familiar and grounding. He looked at you with that steady gaze of his, the one that made you feel safe. “You need to rest. Real rest, not just five minutes of sleep here and there between looking after the kids.”
You gave him a half-hearted smile, reaching up to touch his face. “I know. But they need me right now, especially Ada. She’s not taking this well, and I can’t just leave her.”
Logan leaned in and pressed his forehead to yours, his breath warm against your skin. “You’re no good to them if you collapse from exhaustion.”
The way he said it—so serious, so protective—it made your chest ache in a different way. You knew he was right, but the thought of taking a step back when the kids were still hurting felt impossible.
“I’m not going anywhere,” you whispered, but your voice wavered just enough that Logan picked up on it.
He kissed you softly, slow and gentle, like he was trying to pour all of his concern into that one kiss. When he pulled back, his hand lingered on the side of your face. “You don’t have to carry this by yourself, Y/N,” he said softly. “I’m here.”
You looked at him, feeling the weight of his words, and for a moment, you let yourself believe it—that you didn’t have to do everything on your own.
But the next morning, as you moved through the house and got the kids ready for the day, the cough came back with a vengeance. It left you winded, gripping the counter to steady yourself as your breath caught in your throat. Ada was tugging at your skirt, asking for something, but the ringing in your ears made it hard to focus.
“Y/N?” her small voice called, but everything sounded distant.
You forced yourself to smile, pushing through the wave of dizziness. “I’m okay, sweetheart,” you said, though it was more for you than her. The ache in your chest was sharper now, and for the first time, a flicker of real fear crossed your mind.
That evening, when Logan came by, you didn’t have the energy to hide how bad you felt. The second he walked through the door, he saw it in your face.
“Y/N,” he said, his voice urgent as he rushed to your side. “What the hell happened? You look worse.”
You tried to brush it off, but the cough came again, harsher this time, and Logan’s eyes darkened with worry. His hands were on you, steadying you as you leaned into him, the warmth of his body grounding you again.
“You’re not fine,” he said, his tone more serious now. “I should’ve done something sooner.”
“Logan, don’t—”
“I’m taking you to a doctor,” he interrupted, his jaw set. “No arguing.”
You wanted to protest, but the truth was, you didn’t have the strength to fight him. You were too tired, too worn down, and part of you was scared. So you nodded, letting him pull you into his arms as if holding you close would make everything better.
“I’m here,” Logan whispered against your hair, his voice soft and filled with a tenderness that made your heart ache. “I’ll take care of you, okay? You’re not going through this alone.”
---
The next morning, Logan arrived earlier than usual. He wasn’t taking any chances, especially after the night before. You’d barely slept, your coughing keeping you awake for most of it, and when you did manage to drift off, it was only in short, restless intervals.
Logan helped you into the carriage he’d hired, his hands lingering on your arms longer than necessary, his brow furrowed with worry. He hadn’t said much since arriving, just a quiet “Mornin’” before ushering you outside. His concern was written all over his face, even though he tried to hide it behind a mask of calm.
You leaned back against the seat, closing your eyes as the carriage bumped along the cobbled streets. Each breath felt heavier, the tightness in your chest worsening by the day. You didn’t want to admit it, but you knew this was more than just a cold. The cough had settled deep, rattling in your lungs, and even though you tried to convince yourself it was nothing serious, the thought that it could be something more was gnawing at you.
Logan sat beside you, his knee pressed against yours as he kept a protective hand on your leg. Every so often, you’d feel his gaze on you, watching, as if checking to make sure you were still holding on. The warmth of his presence was a comfort, even if you didn’t say it out loud.
When the carriage finally stopped, you opened your eyes and saw the modest sign hanging above the doctor's office. Logan didn’t waste any time helping you down, his arm tight around your waist as you made your way inside.
The waiting room was quiet, the air thick with the scent of medicinal herbs. Logan barely let go of you the entire time, his arm never leaving your waist, and when the doctor finally called you in, Logan made it clear he wasn’t going anywhere.
Inside the small exam room, the doctor—a middle-aged man with silver hair and a kind face—greeted you both with a nod. His expression shifted when he looked at you, though, his eyes softening in a way that made your stomach churn with nerves.
“How long have you had the cough, miss?” the doctor asked as you sat down, Logan standing right behind you.
“A few days,” you said, your voice raspy and weak. “Maybe a little longer.”
The doctor frowned slightly, moving closer to examine you. “And the fatigue? Any weight loss?”
You nodded. “Yes... I’ve been really tired, and I haven’t had much of an appetite.”
Logan’s hand rested on your shoulder, a silent reassurance that he was there. The doctor continued his examination, listening to your chest with a stethoscope, his brow furrowing as he moved from side to side.
After what felt like an eternity, the doctor stepped back, letting out a slow breath. He met your eyes, and you knew immediately that it wasn’t good.
“I don’t want to alarm you,” he began, his voice gentle. “But given your symptoms and the sound of your lungs, I believe you may have contracted tuberculosis.”
The words hung in the air like a heavy weight. You felt Logan tense behind you, his grip on your shoulder tightening ever so slightly.
Tuberculosis.
The sickness that had taken Mrs. Thomas. The same one that had been lingering in the house for weeks.
Your heart pounded in your chest, and for a moment, you couldn’t breathe. You’d heard the stories—the way it ravaged families, the way it spread so easily. You’d seen it firsthand with Mrs. Thomas, watching her waste away before your eyes.
“How... how bad is it?” Logan’s voice was rough, strained, like he was barely holding himself together.
The doctor glanced at him, his expression serious. “It’s hard to say right now. Tuberculosis can vary greatly in severity. We’ll need to monitor her closely. Rest, proper care, and keeping her away from others as much as possible will be essential.”
You tried to swallow, but your throat felt tight. “What... what do we do now?”
The doctor sighed. “We’ll start with treatment to help ease the symptoms—medicinal herbs, rest, and a strict diet. It’s crucial that you avoid any further exertion. You’ll need to isolate yourself to prevent it from spreading.”
You nodded, but your mind was spinning. The thought of being confined, of having to stay away from the children—it made your chest tighten even more. How were you supposed to care for them when you couldn’t even take care of yourself?
Logan crouched down in front of you, his eyes searching yours as he held your hands in his. “We’ll figure this out, okay?” he said softly. “You’ll rest, and I’ll help with the kids. You’re not doing this alone.”
Tears pricked the corners of your eyes, but you blinked them away. You didn’t want to cry, didn’t want Logan to see how scared you really were.
“I don’t want to leave them,” you whispered, your voice shaking. “They need me.”
“I know,” Logan murmured, his thumb rubbing soothing circles against your hand. “But they need you healthy, Y/N. And I need you healthy.”
You looked at him, your heart aching at the sight of his worry. He was trying so hard to be strong for you, to keep it together, but you could see the fear in his eyes—the same fear you felt deep in your bones.
“We’ll get through this,” he said firmly. “You’re not going anywhere, okay? Not without a fight.”
You nodded, squeezing his hands as tightly as you could. Logan stayed close, his presence a steady, comforting force as the weight of the diagnosis settled over you both.
---
Weeks passed, and the house became quieter. The children were kept at a distance, the once lively home now feeling more like a tomb as you spent your days in bed, trying to gather what little strength you had left. Logan had taken over your duties, ensuring the children were cared for while also staying close to you.
Your body grew weaker with each passing day, the illness creeping deeper into your lungs. The once mild cough had turned into something far more painful, leaving you breathless and exhausted after every fit. You knew, deep down, that the end was approaching. You could feel it in the way your energy dwindled, the way even opening your eyes took effort.
Logan, on the other hand, refused to give up. He never spoke of what was coming, never let on that he saw the same inevitable truth. Instead, he clung to hope, pushing you to eat, to drink, to rest. His presence was a constant, grounding you even in your weakest moments.
Sometimes you even talked about the future, the one you knew you would never have, and the one Logan hoped you would, with him.
Your coughing fit had died down for now, leaving you in bed with your head resting against Logan’s shoulder. His arm was wrapped protectively around you, and the warmth of his body gave you a sense of comfort, even when the pain in your chest didn’t. You took in a shaky breath and spoke softly.
“I’ve always wanted a dog,” you murmured, your voice still weak. “Maybe two.”
Logan shifted slightly, his chin resting on top of your head. “Yeah? What kind?”
You shrugged, smiling a little. “Doesn’t really matter. I just like the idea of having something waiting for me at home, you know? Something happy to see me, no matter what kind of day I’ve had.”
He chuckled quietly, the sound vibrating through his chest. “You’d be a good dog mom.”
You looked up at him, a playful glint in your tired eyes. “You think?”
“Definitely. You’ve already got all the practice with the kids.” He paused, his thumb gently brushing the back of your hand. “Except maybe the dog would be less trouble.”
You laughed, but it turned into a cough, and you quickly brought a hand to your mouth. Logan tensed beside you, waiting until the coughing subsided before speaking again.
“You’re gonna get better, Y/N,” he said softly, his voice firm, but the edge of worry was clear. “We’ll get you that dog. Or two.”
You didn’t respond right away. You wanted to believe him—really, you did—but each day you felt weaker, and it was getting harder to ignore the reality of your situation. But you also didn’t want to drag him down with your fears, so you leaned into him instead, letting the moment linger.
You put your chin on his shoulder, looking up at him, “how many kids would you want?”
Logan looked at you, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Kids, huh?” His voice was warm, teasing, but there was something tender in the way he looked at you, like he was imagining it for real.
“Yeah,” you said, resting your chin on his shoulder, eyes searching his face. “I know it’s kind of silly to think about right now, but... I like the idea. You?”
He took a breath, his fingers tracing absent patterns on your arm. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Never really thought much about it until you.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Until me?”
Logan chuckled softly. “Yeah. Before you, I wasn’t really thinkin’ about things like... a future, you know? I didn’t even know if I’d stay in the city long. But now... now I think about things I never used to.” He paused, glancing down at your hand, his fingers interlacing with yours. “Like kids, and... us.”
Your heart fluttered at that, the weight of his words settling in. He’d never said anything like that before—nothing about the future beyond today or tomorrow. It wasn’t like either of you knew what was coming, especially now, but hearing him say that he thought about you in that way made everything feel more real. More possible.
You grinned, nudging him playfully. “So, how many then? Two? Three?”
Logan laughed quietly. “Two sounds good. Just enough to keep us on our toes, but not so many we lose our minds.”
You giggled, a sound that quickly turned into a cough, and Logan’s smile faded a little, worry creeping back into his eyes. But he didn’t say anything. Instead, he just held you closer, his arms wrapping around you like he could shield you from everything bad in the world.
Once the cough subsided, you leaned your head back against his chest. “I think you’d be a good dad, Logan.”
His hand stilled against your arm. “You think?”
“Yeah,” you said softly. “You’re good with the kids now, even if you don’t realize it. They like you, trust you. You’d protect them... care for them.”
Logan was quiet for a moment, and you could feel the weight of his thoughts. “I’d try,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper.
The warmth of his body, the steadiness of his presence—it was enough to make you forget, for just a little while, how weak you felt. You closed your eyes, letting yourself sink into the comfort of him, of this moment, even though you knew it wouldn’t last.
“Do you ever wonder what it’d be like?” you asked quietly. “If we didn’t have to worry about... this.” You gestured vaguely, meaning the illness, the uncertainty, all of it.
“All the time,” Logan murmured. “But we’ve still got time, Y/N. I’m not giving up on you.”
You opened your eyes, looking up at him. “You really think we’ll make it through this?”
Logan’s gaze was unwavering. “I know we will.”
His confidence, his belief in you, in this, made your heart ache in the best way. You wanted to believe him, wanted to hold onto that hope, even though the fear lingered in the back of your mind.
“You don’t have to be so tough all the time,” Logan said gently, brushing a loose strand of hair from your face. “It’s okay to lean on me.”
You looked at him, your chest tight for a different reason now. “I know.”
And you did. Logan was always there, steady and unshakable, even when you felt like you were falling apart. You didn’t have to do this alone, even if part of you still felt like you should.
Logan leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment longer than usual. “I’m with you, Y/N,” he whispered. “No matter what.”
You closed your eyes again, savoring the warmth of his kiss, the feeling of his arms around you. For now, that was enough.
But even as you rested against him, part of you couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that your time was running out.
---
Logan hated the fact that everything you said was in past tense. How you would’ve liked to learn how to bake bread in that cabin you wanted.
How you would’ve liked to learn how to crochet.
Logan sat on the edge of the bed, watching you with a quiet intensity. You had been talking again, your voice soft and tired, about all the things you wished you had more time to do. It was starting to drive him crazy—the way you spoke in past tense, like you were already halfway gone.
“Would’ve liked to learn how to crochet,” he repeated softly, his eyes never leaving your face.
You smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes. “Yeah. I always thought it’d be nice to make something with my hands. You know, like a blanket or something... for the cabin.”
Logan’s chest tightened. He hated this—hated that you were talking about all these little dreams like they were out of reach. He leaned forward, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “You’re gonna be fine, Y/N,” he said, trying to sound more certain than he felt. “You’ll still have time for all that.”
You met his gaze, your eyes soft but filled with something else—something that made his heart ache. “Logan...”
“No,” he interrupted, shaking his head. “You don’t get to talk like that. We’re gonna get you through this.”
You let out a soft sigh, your hand coming up to touch his cheek. “You don’t always have to be strong, you know. It’s okay to be scared.”
“I’m not scared,” Logan said quickly, though the way he gripped your hand a little tighter gave him away. He wasn’t ready to admit it—to you, to himself—that the thought of losing you scared him more than anything he’d ever faced.
You smiled faintly, shifting on the bed so you could lean into him. “I know you, Logan. You don’t have to pretend for me.”
Logan felt his throat tighten as you pressed closer to him. He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into his chest, trying to hold on to the moment for as long as he could. Your body felt so fragile against his, like you could break if he held you too tight. But he needed to feel you, to remind himself that you were still here.
“Don’t,” Logan said, his voice thick with emotion. “Don’t talk like that.” He looked away for a second, trying to regain control of the storm raging inside him. He didn’t want to hear the finality in your voice, didn’t want to acknowledge the possibility that you might slip away from him.
You reached out, your hand trembling slightly as you touched his cheek. “Logan, you know as well as I do...”
“No,” he repeated, cutting you off again, his voice gruff but shaky. His hand covered yours, pressing it gently against his face. “I’m not losing you. I don’t care what the doctor says. We’ll fight this. We’ll get through it.”
There was a long silence between you, the air heavy with the unspoken truth. You didn’t have the heart to argue with him, but you knew. You could feel it in your bones, in the way your body was failing you little by little every day. But Logan’s refusal to accept that reality made you love him even more, even if it hurt.
You gave him a sad smile, your eyes locking with his. “I love you, Logan.”
His breath caught, and for a moment, he couldn’t speak. The weight of those words—words you’d both danced around but never truly said—hit him like a punch to the gut. He leaned in close, his forehead resting against yours, his voice barely a whisper.
“I love you too, Y/N,” he finally said, his voice breaking just a little.
You closed your eyes, letting the warmth of his words wash over you. It wasn’t fair, any of this. You’d only just begun to imagine a life with him, and now that future was slipping through your fingers.
Logan held you tighter, his arms wrapped around you as if he could protect you from everything, even death. He kissed your forehead, then your cheek, before pressing a final, lingering kiss to your lips. It wasn’t passionate or desperate—just soft, filled with all the love he hadn’t yet had the chance to show you.
“I’m here,” he whispered again, his lips brushing against your skin. “Always.”
And for a moment, despite the pain, despite everything, you believed him. Because even if the future was uncertain, even if you didn’t have much time left, you had this. You had him. And for now, that was enough.
---
Nothing had worked, and nothing was working.
You had already accepted your fate, but Logan couldn’t—no matter how many times you tried to explain. He kept his focus on you, his stubborn hope unwavering, even though you both knew time was running out.
“You’re gonna be fine, Y/N. You’ll see,” he said softly, sitting beside you on the bed. He brushed a hand through your hair, his touch gentle, but the worry in his eyes was impossible to miss.
You looked up at him, your chest tight—not from the sickness, but from the overwhelming love you felt for him in that moment. “Logan... we need to talk about this.”
He shook his head immediately, his jaw clenched. “No, we don’t. We don’t have to talk about anything like that. You’re gonna get better, and we’ll figure everything out.” His voice cracked just a little at the end, betraying the fear he was trying to hide.
You reached for his hand, your fingers trembling as they closed around his. “I don’t want to pretend anymore. I don’t want to spend what little time we have left lying to ourselves.”
Logan looked down at your intertwined hands, his thumb tracing slow circles on your skin. “But I can’t... I can’t think about losing you.”
“You don’t have to think about it,” you whispered, leaning your head against his shoulder. “But we need to be honest with each other. I’m not getting better, Logan. We both know that.”
His whole body tensed beside you, and he turned his head away as if looking anywhere but at you would somehow make your words less real. “I can’t... I can’t lose you, Y/N.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat and leaned closer, pressing your lips softly to his jaw. “I love you, Logan. That’s all that matters to me right now.”
His breath hitched, and for a long moment, he didn’t say anything. He just sat there, holding you as if he could protect you from the inevitable, his arms tightening around you.
After a while, he finally spoke, his voice barely a whisper. “I love you too. More than anything. That’s why I’m not giving up.”
You pulled back slightly, looking up at him, your heart breaking for him. “I know you’re trying to protect me... but I don’t want you to carry this alone. I need you to be here with me, in this moment, not fighting something we can’t change.”
Logan’s eyes met yours, and for a second, the wall he’d built around himself seemed to crack. “I don’t know how to do that,” he admitted. “I don’t know how to just... be.”
“You don’t have to be strong all the time,” you whispered, your hand reaching up to cup his cheek. “You can let go.”
His eyes softened, and before you could say anything else, Logan leaned in and kissed you—soft, but with an intensity that made your heart ache. It was a kiss that said everything he couldn’t put into words: the fear, the love, the desperation to hold onto whatever time you had left.
When he finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, his breath shaky. “I don’t know how to say goodbye,” he whispered.
You closed your eyes, your hand still resting on his cheek. “We don’t have to say goodbye yet. Just stay with me. That’s all I want.”
Logan didn’t respond with words. Instead, he held you tighter, his arms wrapping around you as if he could keep you with him through sheer willpower alone. You could feel the tremble in his hands, the way his breath hitched every now and then like he was fighting back tears.
For a while, you both stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, the world outside fading into nothingness. There was no cough, no sickness, no uncertainty—just the warmth of Logan’s body against yours and the steady beat of his heart beneath your hand.
Eventually, you spoke, your voice barely audible. “I wish we had more time.”
Logan’s grip tightened slightly. “Me too.”
You felt a lump in your throat, but you forced a small smile. “You know... if things were different, I think we’d have had a pretty good life together.”
Logan’s voice was thick with emotion as he replied, “We still will. Somehow... someday.”
You leaned your head against his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. “Maybe in another life.”
Logan didn’t say anything, but you could feel the way his body stiffened, like he couldn’t stand the thought of losing you again—even in another life.
“You don’t have to be alone, Logan,” you whispered, your voice soft but filled with all the love you had left. “Promise me you won’t shut yourself off.”
He was silent for a long moment, and when he finally spoke, his voice was rough and raw. “I can’t promise that.”
You smiled faintly, knowing that was the best you were going to get from him. “Just... don’t forget me.”
Logan leaned down and pressed another kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there for a long time. “I could never forget you.”
The room was quiet after that, the only sound the soft rustling of the blankets as Logan adjusted you in his arms, pulling you closer.
You closed your eyes, feeling the exhaustion creeping in again, but this time it didn’t feel so overwhelming. With Logan’s warmth surrounding you, with his quiet strength holding you up, you felt at peace.
---
You had passed away in your sleep that night, in Logan’s arms. He had stayed up, something in his subconscious telling him to keep his eye on you.
And he did, he felt you take your last breath; one that didn’t seem as painful as when you were awake.
Logan held you close, his arms tightening around you instinctively as he realized what had just happened. His mind refused to process it, refused to accept that this was it. He stared at you, his chest rising and falling in rhythm with breaths that felt foreign in his own body. You weren’t moving anymore, not even the faintest stir.
For a long time, he didn’t let go. He couldn’t. His arms stayed wrapped around you, his face buried in your hair, willing his warmth into your body as if that could somehow bring you back.
"Y/N..." he whispered, his voice broken. He lifted his head slightly, his thumb brushing your cold cheek. "Please... wake up."
There was no answer.
Logan swallowed hard, his throat burning, his chest tightening. His hand trembled as it caressed your face, fingers gently tucking your hair behind your ear like he’d done a hundred times before. But this time, there was no playful smile in return. No teasing comment about how messy your hair always was.
It was quiet. Too quiet.
He let out a shaky breath, his other hand clutching the bedsheet, the weight of what had happened finally starting to crush him. He knew this moment was coming—he’d known it for weeks, maybe even months—but now that it was here, it didn’t feel real. He couldn’t understand how it had come to this, how someone as full of life as you could just... stop.
“Y/N... don’t do this... please,” he whispered again, his voice barely audible as if saying it any louder would make it more true. His hand lingered on your cheek, hoping for even the smallest sign that you’d take another breath.
But nothing came.
He stayed like that for a long time, just holding you, feeling the weight of your stillness.
Logan had never felt so powerless in his life. For all the things he could do, for all the strength in his bones, none of it could save you. His healing couldn’t save you. The realization cut him deeper than any wound ever had.
At some point, he felt his chest tremble, felt the tears start to burn at the corners of his eyes. He hadn’t cried in years, maybe ever—not like this—but he couldn’t stop it now. Not when he’d lost you.
“I... I love you,” he choked out, the words falling from his lips like a confession, like an apology for not saying it enough while you were still here to hear it. He pressed his forehead to yours, his voice breaking again. “I love you so much...”
The room was silent, except for the sound of Logan’s ragged breathing and the ticking of the old clock in the corner, each second passing with an agonizing slowness. He wished he could turn it back, go back to when you were still here—laughing, talking, smiling. Anything but this.
But he couldn’t.
And the weight of that realization shattered him.
For the first time in his life, Logan had no fight left in him. Not for this. Not without you.
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i'm not gonna lie, i definitely started crying while writing those last few scenes, even though i knew how it was gonna end
just a little note for everyone (i'll probably add this at the end of every chapter just cause it helped me when writing) in this chapter, logan is 22 years old and reader is around the same age.
tags: @seasonofthenerd @golden-ebony @planetxella @tighrenicotine @wittyjasontodd @cherrypieyourface @tumharisakhi @person-005 @zaggprincess2
364 notes · View notes
eraenaa · 6 months ago
Text
So High School
Inspired by the song "So High School" by Taylor Swift
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Athlete Rafe Cameron x Scholarly Reader Tag List
Summary: He knows how to ball, you know Aristotle
Warnings: Jealousy, Dry-Humping, Fluff, Not Proofread 
Word Count: 4,638
A/N: Re-upload because I wanted to add a bit of spice and a few more elements inspired by the song. And I wanted to clarify that the Rafe here is heavily inspired by Zach Maclaren
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You’ve never considered yourself as a cliche. You did love to read, watch, and think about cliches, you would sigh longingly when you see the differing variations be reproduced in media. The kisses in the rain, the jocks getting with the nerds, the popular girls kissing the geeky boys. All of them were great in theory, but you could never see yourself taking part in one of them. Not until you met him. Rafe Cameron.
You’ve never had a high school romance, nothing that even resembled it. If you recall your high school days, nothing remote to a teenage romance was achieved. You went to balls without a date, only the company of your friends; no flings were made nor ambiguous relationships achieved and could be added to your trophy case. You were not even certain you had a crush— sure, you would find someone attractive, but not so much that you would look forward each day to seeing them in the halls or classroom. It sounds horrid and sad now that you say it out loud or when you share it with any of your uni friends, but you truly did not mind. You were just not destined to have a high school romance. 
In truth, you preferred it that way. You’d rather avoid immature attachments. The shallow jealousy and petty fights you had witnessed over and over again. However, you were always curious about how they felt. How did it feel to look forward to going to school to see the one you liked or even loved? How did it feel to be a blushing mess just because they glanced back at you? What did it feel like to hold the person you wanted’s hand as you walked down the hall? What was it like to have your friends tease you for being so love-struck that it went straight to your heads? How does it feel to be down bad for someone while still being filled with the naivety of youth? But you suppose you don’t have to wonder at all anymore. The cliche things they say in the movies; your stomach filled with butterflies, your heart pounding hard on your chest, your skin tingling with electricity— you thought were just exaggerated reactions, romanticizing further the romances they produce, but they were right. Those are the exact things you felt with Rafe. 
You never saw him coming. He was an exchange student from the States, admitted into your university’s football team. He was a few years older, but with his commitment to the sport, he was taken back a few years and started off in the second year. He was your seatmate on the third day of class of the term. He took a seat by your right and sheepishly asked you for a pen at the start of the lecture. You were set to mind your own business, lend him the pen, and focus on the lecture, but you could not help but notice him leaning closer to you, trying to copy down the notes you typed furiously on your laptop. You thought twice before you decided to be a good samaritan, shifting your laptop screen more clearly toward his view. 
You tried not to get in between him and the professor as he was grilled to answer a question about Aristotle’s Poetics, the whole class’ eyes upon him as he stuttered and flailed to answer the lecturer’s question. You sighed and bit your lip, quickly typing up the answer as he was being shamed by your professor for not doing the readings. You tugged at the hem of his shirt, motioning for him to look at the screen and recite out loud the answer you had written. “Thank you,” Rafe whispered, leaning closer to you, who saved him from further embarrassment. You just nodded, but Rafe did not return to his place; he kept the rather close proximity of the both of you for the rest of the class. You just took his actions as his way of copying more of your notes.
When the class ended, you quickly gathered your things and tried to exit the lecture hall, but Rafe blocked your way. “I’m Rafe, by the way,” he introduced himself, letting out his hand for you to shake. You did, and he swore he felt electricity at your touch; you, too had felt it but mistook it for static. You quickly introduced yourself and tried to sidestep to get to your next class, but he was quick to block you again. “I just wanted to say thank you again,” Rafe said, trying to catch your eye, but it kept flying towards the door. You flash him a small and almost forced smile, “It’s just recitation. It’s no problem.” You said and finally looked him in the eyes. You felt your heart stutter at the smile that crossed his lips, and you once again mistook it for something else, anxiety, perhaps that you might be late to your next class that was all the way on the other side of the campus in a building without an elevator and your classroom conveniently placed on the top floor. 
That was when you noticed that Rafe had still not let go of your hand, nor did he have the intention of letting you go too quickly. “I’m sorry, not to be rude or anything, but I really have to go to my next class,” you say, the tone of your voice a bit frantic so he’d buy into the guilt and finally let go of your hand. Rafe bit his tongue to prevent a grin from slipping his lips; you had the most melodious voice and the most adorable accent he heard while he stayed in your country. “Yeah, no problem… see you next week,” Rafe finally unblocked your path and let go of your hand, watching as you hastily walked out of the classroom, leaving him grinning at himself like a fool. 
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You were walking down the halls of your university the next day. Your headphones covered your ears and made you a tad oblivious to the surroundings around you. Rafe caught you by the side of his eye, and quickly ended the conversation he was having with his friends to get to you. He was calling your name, avoiding the sea of students who were venturing to their next class. Everyone’s head turned to him, their attention on him as he called for you, but you were oblivious to him. Rafe finally caught up behind you, grabbing the headband of your headphones to finally get your attention. You yelped in surprise at the sudden actions, turning behind you, ready to take the blow of your attacker, but you were only met with Rafe, who had an amused grin by our wide-eyed and startled state. 
You breathe out a quiet sigh of relief when you realize it was not a complete stranger who had done that abrupt and rather rude action. You watch with a slight furrow in your brow as Rafe wears your headphones, momentarily listening to the song you were listening to. “What is this?” He asked with a confused look, “Patti Smith,” You answered as he returned to you your headphones. “Never heard of him,” Rafe shrugged, and you bit your tongue, “He’s a she,” You said and looked around the corridor only to realize that the two of you stood by the middle of it. Earning curious and even annoyed glances from other students because you and Rafe obstructed the pathway. You stepped to the side, and Rafe followed; you looked up at him in curiosity, “Did you need something?” You asked, wanting an explanation from him for startling you in the middle of the hallway. 
“I…” Rafe trailed, not truly having a concrete reason for calling for you. “Uh… where are you going?” He asked instead, and you felt your brows twitch into a quick frown before you recomposed your expression. “The library,” you say, and he nods. “Come on, then,” He said, taking hold of the handle of your shoulder bag and carrying it for you. Your lips agape, not at all certain what is happening; you watch him walk a few steps forward, but he stops in his tracks and turns to you. “You might wanna lead the way; I’m kinda new here,” You bit your lip as you wanted to laugh. You nodded, and the two of you walked side by side on the way to the library. 
“What’s your degree?” You asked him as you walked through the hallowed halls of your university. Rafe still carried your bag, and you could not help but notice the curious glances pointed at the two of you. “Finance,” you nodded but grew rather curious as to what he was doing in your literature class, so you then proceeded to ask him the question swirling in your mind. “Oh… I ran out of units; either I take that class or be underloaded,” he shrugged and opened the door of the library for you. “So you have no idea nor interest about what we were talking about the other day?” You asked and felt your stomach weirdly twist when he pulled out the chair for you and assisted you to sit. “Not really, no,” He said and took a seat across from you. “Thanks again, by the way, for giving me the answer,” Rafe said in gratitude once more. You flashed a quick smile and took your bag from him, taking out the readings for your other class. It took a few minutes of you reading your course material before you realized that Rafe was just sitting there, watching you. “Don’t you have any requirements to do?” You asked him, eyes locking with clear ocean blue ones. “Nope,” he shook his head, his lips popping the ‘p.’ 
“Then what are you doing here…?” You asked. Rafe refrained from letting his grin turn wider. He just shrugged and watched you furrow your brows; a cute little pout of confusion appeared on your lips. He was uncertain if you were truly oblivious or just pretending to be. What was supposed to be a productive day of reading and staying above your requirements turned into a day of laughing fits and jokes. You both tried to stifle your laughs caused by your random conversations and anecdotes, but it was proven impossible, resulting in both of you being ushered out of the library. “Oh god—“ You laughed as you recalled the stern look of the librarian as they pushed you and Rafe out. In other circumstances, you might have died in embarrassment for having to be escorted out of the library, but somehow, right now, you felt thrilled. 
Rafe watched you as your laughs died down. His gaze studied the crinkle on your nose and the sides of your eyes, the way you would bite down on your lip to stifle them, but it would be to no avail because your melodious laughs still blessed his ears. “Do you want to go to grab lunch?” Rafe suddenly asked, and your laughs finally halted. You looked up at him, his expecting gaze on you, hopefulness in his ocean-blue eyes that you could not shatter. You smiled and nodded, your heart stuttering when he took the bag on your shoulder once more. His warm hand brushes with your skin, causing a jolt of electricity in you that you never thought could happen. You followed him out of campus, your mind in a hazy battlefield as to where this was leading. 
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You bit your lip as Rafe waved at you during their practice; you could barely make out his face through the obstruction of his helmet, but you would guess there was a boyish grin on his lips. It had been a week since the incident in the library, and quickly after that, you two found a deeper understanding between each other. You realize the cliche they insisted upon that said ‘you'll find love when you least expect it’ was quite true. You never expect to meet anyone like Rafe. 
“There you are,” you hear your friend arrive, having him see you on the football field because he needed to brow your notes for a class. “What are you even doing here? I practically had to drag you here the last time I wanted to watch a game,” He asked in deep confusion, entirely uncharacteristic of you to be by the field. “Uhm…” you trailed, not having told him about Rafe yet. “I met someone,” You started, watching as his eyes grew wide in surprise. “A player?” He asked, and you nodded, “Which one?” He asked in great interest. You squinted your eyes and looked for Rafe’s number, not wanting to have to point. “The one from the States!? You’re dating a Yank?” He asked as if it was a scandal. “A Yank? Seriously? They’ve stopped calling Americans that for almost a century,” You said, trying not to laugh.
Rafe turned to you, surprised you were no longer alone on the benches. Instead, you were laughing along with some dude who sat a bit closer to you. It made him rather… curious. A good alternative feeling as he did not want to overstep with his emotions and admit to himself that he was quick to grow jealous. “Hey, good game, mate,” Rafe’s teammate complimented and clapped his back, and he returned the compliment, but he could not help but notice that his teammate’s gaze was flying over to you. “What is it?” Rafe asked as he removed his gloves, "Are you… with her?” He asked hesitantly, and Rafe turned to you, who was still enveloped in conversation with the man who was a stranger to him. 
“Yes.” He said even though it was too soon and neither of you had a discussion about where the week of dates you two went on would lead. Rafe watched as his teammate’s brows shot up in surprise. “Do you know her?” Rafe asked, and his teammate nodded. “Yeah, I went to secondary school with her,” He said, and Rafe was in the midst of thinking another question to ask when his teammate spoke once more. “Good luck to you; the word is she has very high standards. A bit stuck up if you ask the other lads in our school.” His teammate and Rafe frowned in confusion. “What?” He asked, “Yeah. She was notorious in our school for being the girl no one could get. A lot of blokes fancied her rotten, but not once did she pay them mind. She was never in any relationships or flings, for that matter— and if I remember correctly, she did not even take a date to the balls.” Rafe’s teammate explained, his gaze flying to you, remembering how the boys at your school would always follow you around or try to get your attention, but you’ve always ignored them. “Anyway, congrats to you, I guess. Never knew her type were Yanks,” Rafe heard his teammate mutter and once again clapped his back before leaving. 
You turn away from your friend as you hear Rafe approaching, flashing him your beaming smile that you only bestowed upon the most deserving of people. You’ve only known him a week, but you felt that your genuine smile was made to be pointed at him and as well be caused by him. “You ready to go?” Rafe asked, ignoring the presence of the guy who sat next to you because he knew himself, and if he acknowledged the guy next to you, his jealousy might shine through. “Uh… yeah, this is my friend, by the way,” You say as you see Rafe was a bit reserved at the moment. “Hey,” your friend greeted and stretched out his hand for Rafe to shake, “Hey,” he muttered and barely turned to your friend. There was a pause of steely, awkward silence that you were not certain the cause of. “I’m gonna go… thanks for the notes,” Your friend quickly excused himself, and you turned to Rafe. “Are you okay?” You asked, and you heard him let out a grieved exhale. “Uh, yeah, just tired,” he fibbed, not wanting to bring out the subject of his jealousy that was quick to stew. 
“Oh, that’s a pity. My friend you’ve just met— he and his boyfriend are throwing a party tonight and I was gonna ask you if you wanted to come. But if you need to rest, that’s completely fine,” You said and watched as his lips agape slightly, “He… he has a boyfriend?” He asked slowly, realizing his jealousy was completely out of place. “Erm, yeah, why?” You asked and found it odd how the almost grumpy expression on his face quickly turned into a smile. “Nothing. Of course I’ll come with you to the party,” Rafe smiled and draped his arm around your shoulder as you two walked off the stands. 
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You came to the party with the thought that perhaps you could help Rafe mingle with the others in your year. He could find other friends in this foreign land, but as cliche as it was, you two were lost in each other. Everything faded, and all the two of you could focus on was each other. It was later in the night when you and Rafe’s close proximity was interrupted by your friend. “Come on, we’re going to play spin the bottle,” Your friend pulled at you, who reluctantly stood and stepped away from Rafe. “Spin the bottle? Isn’t that a bit juvenile?” You asked as you were forced to sit on the floor; Rafe was being led by your friend’s significant other to sit across from you. He flashed you his charming smile. You bit your tongue to not let the giddiness in you shine through.
“Rules first,” Your friend replied. “As always, whoever the bottle lands to, you must kiss that person, but if you do not want to, you can play for truth or dare. Your friend says, and all in the circle nod. “Okay then. Who goes first?” Rafe asked, and you turned to your friend, “Well, seeing you are the guest here in our lovely land, you get the honor to go first,” Rafe shrugged and smirked, leaning forward to spin the bottle and prayed that it would land on you, it didn’t. You turned to where the bottle pointed to a girl from your secondary school who licked her lips and looked positively excited at the prospect of kissing Rafe. You bit your lip and sat quietly in your seat, making sure that your face was rid of any reaction. 
Rafe warily shifted his gaze between you and the girl, “I’ll do a truth,” he announced and saw from the corner of his eyes as the strange girl pouted and her shoulders deflated in rejection. “A truth it is,” Your friend said; there was a quick silence whilst he thought of a question. “Why did you choose truth?” They asked Rafe, and you fiddled with your fingers, raising your gaze towards the boy you had been seeing for the past week but had no label to call him. “Just… just didn’t want a kiss,” He shrugged, his gaze flying to you, who quickly avoided his. “Okay then, next,” Your friend said, and you waited for your turn, already knowing in yourself you’d skip the kiss part if it did not land on Rafe. 
“Truth or dare?” You were asked and paused for a moment. Usually, you would quickly pick ‘truth’, not having the nerves to choose the other option, but somehow, right now, you were leaning towards picking ‘dare’, so that is what you had done. You hear ‘oohs’ from your friends, surprised by your boldness. “Dare, then. Okay… I dare you to kiss the person you fancy in this circle the most,” Someone cruelly said, and your eyes widened, cheeks blooming with color as you quickly regretted your choice. “No! I chose ‘dare’ to skip the kissing part! That’s unfair,” You countered, but they only shrugged and replied with “Rules are rules,” 
You pursed your lips and looked around the circle. You already knew who you wanted to kiss, but you lacked the courage to do so. “Okay, everyone, close your eyes, and you pick who you want to kiss,” Your friend decided, showing you kindness, for he knew that the situation was quite too much for you. Rafe chewed on his cheeks, heart beating loudly in his chest, praying to anyone who would hear that you would choose him. 
You took a deep breath and glanced as everyone had their eyes closed. You gathered whatever courage and nerve you had to stand from your seat and lean closer to Rafe. Admiring his handsome face for a moment before placing a quick, chaste kiss at the corner of his lips. You feel him twitch in surprise, and you quickly return to your seat as he opens his ocean-blue eyes. His lips were agape in shock, and he was being tugged into a wide smile that showcased his dimples. His eyes crinkled as he beamed at you, filled with romantic giddiness. The game went through a few more rounds until everyone eventually got bored, and you and Rafe were left in each other’s company once more. 
The music was blaring; the chatter was loud, but not a single noise was heard by the two of you as you had been enveloped in conversation. You quickly grew entranced by how random your topics were. It could be a deep, philosophical engagement, one where you were both perplexed and engrossed by the subject, then the next, you were clutching your stomach because you were laughing so hard at one of his jokes.
“Where’d everybody go?” Rafe suddenly asked as he reluctantly rested his gaze on anything else other than you. Your lips agape as you saw the flat was cleared out, the remnants of the party and the mess it caused still present but not those who had caused it. You let out a bubbling laugh as you two were now the only ones present; not even the hosts of the party could be accounted for. “We should probably go home, huh,” You say, your eyes shifting between Rafe’s gaze and the floor that was riddled with confetti and spilled drinks. “Yeah, come on, I’ll walk you home,” He said as he stood, reaching out his hand for you to take as he assisted you to stand. 
“Rafe,” You called as you two stood by the entrance of your flat. “Yes, pretty girl?” He asked with a grin, and you bit your lip to hinder yourself from grinning like a lovestruck fool. You took a deep breath before you spoke, “Not to sound so high school, but I… I really like you,” You confessed. You did not know how to relay how you felt seeing he was the first one to spur this type of giddiness in you. You gazed up at him, watching as his eyes twinkled with mirth and the smile on his lips widened. You held your breath as he leaned in and kissed your lips. It was a chaste kiss, just like the one earlier, but it was still capable of leaving you both grinning. 
Your eyes alight with newfound affection as you and he stood below the pale moonlight. You sighed happily as Rafe placed his warm hand on your cheek, caressing your skin before ultimately leaning in to kiss you once more. A different, more fervent, and deeper kind of kiss than the first one shared. You feel your heart flutter and your body turn warm as his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you flush towards him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him downwards to your height, feeling him smirk against your lips.
When you parted for air, you bit your lip as a wide, cheek-aching smile spread upon it. “I think like you more,” He said against your lips. You knew it was a line, a cheesy one at that, but your stomach flipped in violent delight, and you stood on your toes to feel his lips against yours again. “Do… do you wanna go in?” You asked him as your lips parted again, your mind spinning from the way he kissed you and pulled on your waist. “Yes,” he said a bit too eagerly, the tips of his ears growing red a he realized the slight desperation in his voice, but you simply found it endearing. 
When in the privacy of your flat, you grinned against Rafe’s lips as he gently pushed you against the wall, his large frame flushed against yours. Your fingers reached to run themselves through his hair as his hands on your waist strayed hesitantly higher. “You sighed as his lips moved to place kisses on your neck, “I hope you know I didn’t offer to walk you home for this,” Rafe sighed against your neck, breathing deeply your scent as his need for you bulged painfully in his jeans. “I know,” You smiled and whimpered as you felt him nip your skin. 
You were not certain if you should warn him of the truth that you’ve never done anything such as this and that you have never reached this level of intimacy with anyone. But you swallowed the words as you feared you would run him away. You gasped as Rafe effortlessly hoisted you on his waist. Your mind spun as he deeply kissed you and led you to your sofa, him sitting on the cushion and you straddling his waist. You panted as you felt his need against your core. 
Rafe swallowed thickly as he gazed at you, your lips swollen and eyes filled with need for him. “I… I don’t have protection,” He sheepishly, regrettably said, and you could blink. “Oh,” Was all you could say, uncertain if you should move from the position you both were in even though your body screamed for you to stay put. “I’m sorry, I—“ He started to speak, and you shook your head, “No, don’t be,” You rested your palm on his chest and felt the erratic beating of his heart, a rhythm that matched yours. Rafe took in a deep breath and lowered his gaze as if in shame; you chewed on your lip and spoke. “Maybe uhm… maybe we could do something else?” 
“Like what?” He asked hesitantly; you couldn’t really verbalize your intent, so instead, you showed it to him. Rafe’s jaw slacked as you started to grind your hips, your core rubbing against his length. You hid your face in the crook of his neck and placed small kisses on his skin as you tried to stifle your sighs of pleasure. 
Rafe’s hands found home at your rear, guiding and aiding your movements. Rafe let out a hiss as he felt himself quickly be led to climax. You finally vocalized your moans as you, too, were on the precipice of your peak; your hand moved to grip Rafe’s dark blonde locks as you came, calling his name. Rafe moved to take your face into his hands and intertwine your lips as he came undone, his seed spilling out in his trousers. He never thought he could come undone so harshly with ought actually being touched by someone. 
When your lips parted, and the hazy want in you subsided, you grinned widely at Rafe, who let out an amused breath. The both of you stayed silent, but Rafe’s thoughts screamed loudly in his head. Would it be cliché of him to say that he had fallen so quickly? That seeing you in the lecture hall was love at first sight, and now, even only knowing you for only a short time, he knew you were the one. 
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revelboo · 20 days ago
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Just dropping by to compliment your writing. Seriously, at this point your posts have basically adopted me. I LOVE everything you write! (Especially because you It made me obsessed with transformers again.) .... anyway, kisses from a Brazilian 😈😘😔💗👍👍
Aww! Thank you so much!
I felt bad and went ahead to type up the second half. The tags you guys add when you reblogged the last bit were making me feel a bit guilty.
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Everything is Alright Pt 32
Starscream x Reader-guardian
• Hidden among the clouds, he circles. Can’t make himself leave you there alone, tethered to his own worries. To you. Still watching over you, because you’re so small down there standing right where he left you. Like you’re waiting on him to come back for you. Finally, you begin to walk. But you keep looking up, looking for him and it hurts more than he’d thought it would. Breaks him wide open as he wonders what you’re thinking. That he doesn’t want you anymore? That you’re not needed? He knows that feeling all too well. Hates it.
• You have no idea how far it is to town walking, but you’re already soaking wet and cold. Moving at least might keep you warm since you’re still in that stupid, thin dress. He’s not coming back. You weren’t sure what was going to become of you with him, but just being let go? Maybe to him it’s been like rehabilitating a wild animal and he’d finally decided you could be released back into the wild. Maybe he just really had gotten bored with you. Those maybes are driving you crazy. Because you’re hurt that he just threw you away.
• Because you cared about him. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you shudder as lightning crackles across the sky, the wind whipping your soaking hair across your cheek in little, stinging lashes. When exactly had it stopped being a game you were playing to survive? Agreeing with him, pretending interest in his day at first, but when had you genuinely started to care? The same time you’d started smiling when he returned from his duties, because you were really happy to see him and being greeted made him happy. Made his wings lift up higher at being acknowledged. Making him happy had made you happy.
• There’s a truck approaching on the road below as he rolls through the clouds, condensation slicking him. Too high above to hear what’s said when that truck slows beside you. When you turn. Tension winding him tight when you don’t keep walking, but pull open the door and get in. Someone you know? Someone looking for you? To take you home? A friend or something else to you? It doesn’t matter. He shouldn’t care, but he does.
• Shivering, you reach to angle the vents on the passenger side more directly on you as the driver cranks the heat. He’s older than you, old enough to be your dad and he’s frowning at you. Not buying that you’re okay. “Everyone thinks you’re dead. It’s been a month,” he says, tone clearly saying that he knows you haven’t just been wandering through the woods that long. That lie isn’t going to work. Apparently you’re famous in town, your face on missing persons flyers and they’d even swept the woods and had divers checking the small lake for your body.
• “I’m okay.” You’re not, but you just want to go home. Not to the police station or the hospital. Home. Your empty home. That fact has never bothered you before, but now it does. There’s no one waiting there, no one to talk to. He’s frowning at you, but he agrees to drive you home after making a call to the police, making you let them know you’re alive and found. Making you agree to go in tomorrow to explain what happened. Where you were. You don’t even have the energy to think up a lie right then.
• The guy even walks you up the drive and watches as you root around in the dirt of a very dead hanging basket of what had been impatiens a month ago to find the spare key and let yourself in. Only then does he relent and leave. You never think to ask his name, too numb and oddly empty. Around you the house is achingly silent.
• The intruder leaves and he still circles. No other vehicles. Does that mean you’re alone? No. How could you be? He transforms and lands a safe distance away, keeping low as the lights come on in the house, watching your shadow pass the windows as a dark smudge. And eventually the lights go back out. No one coming for you, because there is no one. His spark aches. He doesn’t mean to stay all night, but he can’t leave you there alone. Unwanted.
• Even if you believe he’s abandoned you, he can watch over you. Knows it’s not safe for you, but can’t make himself go. If he keeps returning here it’ll be noticed and questioned. You’ll still be in danger because of him. He knows this. And he still can’t force himself to leave you, because he is selfish. You don’t need him. But he does need you.
• Wrapping your robe around yourself as you head into the kitchen to get some coffee going, you stop short as the house creaks on its foundation. Eyes lifting to see something blocking the window. Familiar colors. Chest tight, you head outside and stare up at Starscream. He’s leaning against the house, wings drooping and optics shuttered in recharge. Like he’d spent all night outside watching over you. “You big idiot,” you sigh affectionately, your eyes burning as you reach out to touch the back of his huge hand. He hadn’t left you.
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yuki-world · 1 year ago
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丹恒 | DAN HENG ; APHRODISIAC
summary | you ate something wrong, and you went to dan heng for help. except… you needed a different kind of help.
tags | nsfw (smut), fem!reader, aphrodisiac, creampie, 2.1k words
a/n : first time posting on tumblr pls bear with me 谢谢! + did not proofread, may have slight errors
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“y/n, you’re heating up, what did you eat?” dan heng asks, placing the back of his hand on forehead. you squirm at his touch, which he seems to not notice. “fever…?” he mutters to himself as he diagnoses the situation.
you’re sat on his chair, panting quietly, thighs desperately trying to rub against each other, in hopes of any stimulation to relieve that throbbing sensation in your cunt. you were wet; practically dripping. you might even stain the seat with your juices at this rate. the more you moved, the more the effects strengthened.
“what did you eat, y/n? answer me,” dan heng asks again from the lack of reply, and you almost came from how demanding he sounded. god, the aphrodisiac was really messing with your head. everything about him was hot. you could barely even think of anything else; just him fucking you right there and then. even as you try to answer his question, your voice fails you and you stop yourself, afraid it might come out as a moan instead.
you almost laugh at how worried dan heng looks, quite the opposite of how he always is. your grip on the chair handles tighten as you try to control yourself, for you might actually pounce on him. you needed to be filled so bad, for a cock to stuff you full until you’re nothing but a babbling mess.
“i think i’ll go get a doctor,” dan heng sighs, looking at the state you were in. “you just… stay here. i’ll be backー”
as he walks past you, you grab his arm to stop him from leaving. his breath hitches, as he looks back down at you. “y/n?”
you pause for a moment, before you opened your mouth.
“i, ah,” you stutter, trying to sound as normal as possible. “aーaphrodisiac,” is all you could say, and even that one word came out shaky. his eyes widened almost immediately.
he doesnt say anything, but you can visibly see him gulp, as he tries to maintain composure. he should’ve known, should’ve noticed how you were squirming around in the chair. it all made sense.
“you need to rest. i’ll get the doctor immediately.” he states plainly, and that’s all he can say. dirty thoughts invade his mind at the mention of aphrodisiac, but he tries his best to snap out of it.
fuck, you couldn’t take it anymore. your body needed to be touched, literally any small touch from dan heng would do. taking medicine or waiting it out isn’t going to satisfy you at all.
as he takes another step towards the door again, you stand up instantly, almost falling onto him. “pleaseー please don’t, dan heng,” you pleaded with those puppy eyes of yours, and his resolve crumbles. how sweet his name sounded coming from you, at this very moment, has him feeling a certain type of way. he’s never thought of you in inappropriate ways, but right now, the thought of you calling out his name like that in bed…
“what… what do you suggest i do to help you, y/n?” he asksーsuggestively, and you couldn’t care less anymore.
as you pull him in for a kiss by his jacket, his face heats up almost immediately, soft red dusting over his cheeks. he doesn’t hesitate to kiss back, not even trying to pull away as you slip your tongue into his mouth. he wants more, he thinks, hand snaking around your waist to pull you in closer. his other hand playfully travels down to your ass, making you gasp in surprise as he squeezes it.
you never knew you could’ve felt hotter than you were previously, with the sloppy make out session making you yearn for his cock even more. you subconsciously grind onto his bulge, feeling him harden against you.
as he pulls away, a string of saliva drips that was connecting the both of you drips down your mouth, and he swears his erection is going to burst through his pants. “y/n��� wait.”
he’s panting as he speaks, hand reaching up to caress your cheek. “i don’t want to take advantage of you.”
him? taking advantage of you? when you were the one looking for him to relieve yourself?
“don’t be stupid, dan heng,” you giggle, your kisses trailing down his neck as he gulps, confusion written on his face with the sudden change in your demeanor. “what?”
“what i’m saying is…” you start, as you suck on his neck, eliciting a moan from him. his hand flys up to grip your hair, as you continued to lick and suck on the same spot; that was definitely going to bruise.
“…you canーnnh, do whatever you want to me.”
fuck, he thinks to himself. you’re so lewd.
his cock twitches again, and he’s had enough of the foreplay. he has to be inside you now or he might actually die.
he bends you over the table, not even bothering to undress you or himself, as he flips your skirt up. god, was he glad you wore a skirt. or perhaps you did it on purpose?
either way, he doesn’t care. he slips your drenched panties off, running his fingers up and down your folds. you were so wet, you bet he’d slip in so easily. he kneels down, lowering his face to your pussy, as he starts licking, lapping up all your wetness. who could blame him? the sight of your glistening cunt on display for him really does it for him.
he tongues your hole, the small and wet muscle thrusting in and out of you has your legs trembling. your grip on the table was so strong, your fingers begun turning red. “fuuuuck, dan heng, ohー”
he doesn’t stop until you’re a drooling mess, babbling about how good it feels. your drool might’ve even gotten on some of his documents he left on the table, but that was a problem for another day. the room filled with nothing but slurping sounds and your loud moans; as much as you wanted to keep it down, your mind was blank.
“mmh more! right there, yes!” you mindlessly blurt out, and he does exactly that. “mm, right here?” he asks, spreading your ass further apart, and tongue-fucks you in all the right places. the wetness of your own juices was replaced with his saliva and spit, some even getting on your thighs. as he started sucking your clit, you almost blacked out.
“cumming, oh fuck, dan heng, nnghー” you came as he gives a particularly harsh suck to your clit, and your head drops to the table. your juices coat his lips and a little on his nose, as he continues lapping them up as if it was the most delicious thing ever. your legs almost give up as he continues overstimulating you.
after he deemed it was enough, he carried you to his bed, throwing you down as he eagerly takes off his top.
“are you on aphrodisiac too?” you ask teasingly, but he doesn’t answer; just pops the button of your blouse open, pulling down your bra to expose your tits. doesnt even bother to unhook it as his mouth latches onto one of your nipples, hand fondling the other.
before you even have time to process what just happened, you see him get back up, with his zipper being pulled down. his cock pops out, red and hard; long and big. your mouth waters at the sight, hand instinctively reaching out to touch it, but dan heng slaps it away. “no, i need something more right now,” he says, exhaling as he gives his cock a few strokes, squeezing beads of pre-cum out.
and it was at this moment when he looks at you, sprawled out on his bed, exposed from your chest to your cunt, with your eyes a little teary from how good you were eaten out just now… you were breathtaking. so pretty, so soft, yet so lewd… he’s never seen anyone more beautiful than you.
“put it in already…” he hears, as he snaps out of his thoughts.
“so needy,” he mutters quietly to himself, guiding his cock to the entrance of your cunt.
as the head of his cock enters you, the both of you let out a sigh. even though he was going slow, you felt like he was splitting you apart. your pussy tightens around him immediately, and he has to stop himself from cumming right there and then.
“fuck, don’tー don’t do that y/n,” he warns as he continues to push his cock in, inch by inch, making you moan every time he moves. as he finally bottoms out for what seemed to be ages, he hand comes up to your head, sweetly brushing your hair away from your sweaty forehead. “you’re so pretty.”
your heart starts pounding a little faster, and your eyes look at anywhere but his. “don’t get shy on me now.”
just as you were about to reply with i’m not, he starts to pull his cock out, slamming it back into you in one swift movement. you cry out as he continues his pounding, increasing his pace every time he hears you let out a small whimper.
“dan heng, its so big mmfhh…” you drool mindlessly as he fucks you mercilessly, spreading your legs further apart so you take more of him each time. once in a while, he even grinds into you each time your pussy is at the base of his cock.
he throws one of your legs over his shoulder, and he felt his cock hit a particular spot, making you dig your nails into his back. “fuck, right there! ahー”
he slams his cock into that spot multiple times, just the way you like it. “rightー thrust ーhere? thrustーhmm?” he questions, and you can only nod your head as no words come out.
“god, you feel so good y/n, iーi can’t…” he trails off, pinning your hands above your head as he continues his thrusts. he was almost at his limit, and you could tell by the way his movements turn sloppy, and his breathing gets heavier.
“dan hengー nngh, are you going to cum?” you ask, and he lets go of the leg previously on his shoulder. he buries his face into your neck, taking in your scent. “…yeah,” he whispers into your ear, a hand grabbing your waist to fuck you onto his cock. “you?”
“will you cum inside me?” you ask ever-so-innocently, not even replying to his question, and his breath hitches. he stops his movements abruptly, his cock twitching inside you, as he pants heavily.
he takes a moment as light breaths tickle your neck, eventually propping himself on his elbows. “don’t… say these kind of things.”
“you can, if you want to,” you smile, wrapping your legs around him, pulling him closer to you (and deeper into you).
he might actually go crazy. he’s lucky he stopped himself after you said that, because he’d definitely bust inside you after that question. of course he wants to, of course he wants to dump his load inside you and watch it seep out of you puffy cunt when you’re all done.
he starts moving again, slower and more sensual this time, but it still makes you feel so good. he rolls his hips against yours, occasionally biting your neck to suppress his sounds. dan heng was close, like, really close. but he has to make you cum first; or at least together.
his hand reaches down, rubbing your clit harshly, and his starts picking up his pace. you gasp at the sensation, as your legs tightened around him.
you cry out as your orgasm was reaching, hands moving from his back, to hugging his neck. you could barely breathe from how hard he was fucking you.
“dan heng, i… i’m cummingーnngh… cumming!”
as your toes curl and your eyes roll back, your orgasm hits you like a train, so fast, so powerful and so wet. your walls tighten around him so much, all thoughts of pulling out goes down the drain.
theres no way he wasn’t cumming inside you.
“y/n, fuckー you’re so tight… i’m going to cum.”
squelching noises fill the room louder as he pounds into your tight cunt, he was really at his limit. “shit… ah, here it comes… fuckー”
his cock twitches again, and he groans as he cums with one last thrust. ropes of thick, white, warm cream fill your insides, as your walls fluttered around him. dan heng trembles slightly as he tries to fuck his cum back into you.
he pants heavily into your neck, the grip of his hands on your body slowly releasing. the room smells like nothing but sex, as you try to catch your own breath. “you’re… you’re really something,” you let out a chuckle, hands coming down to pat his back softly. “mm,” dan heng hums back in satisfaction.
maybe the aphrodisiac wasn’t so bad after all.
ー @yuki-world
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jinkoh · 1 month ago
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sleeveless
eric x fem!reader
summary: how did you never realize until now how buff your childhood friend was? and when did that happen anyway?
tags: honestly it's pwp (mdni!), childhood friend!eric, strength kink, manhandling, a little overstimulation, slight body worship, fingering, piv, after care
wc: 2.5k
a/n: watched the k-link festival stage yesterday and have not recovered since, in fact i'm not sure if recovery will happen anytime soon or ever but writing this totally helped (it did not)--anyway enjoy
masterlist
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“What about him?” your friend Minji asked, pushing her phone with another tinder profile on the screen under your nose.
“Sure, he’s cute,” you replied after giving it a quick glance.
“But?”
“No ‘but’. He’s just not my type.”
“Not your type?” She raised her eyebrow in disbelief, completely smitten with the stranger on her phone screen.
“She likes them buff,” Siyeon chimed in before you could say anything else, “gets her strength kink going and all that.”
“I don’t have a—,” you started to protest but your friend just laughed. “Siyeon!”
“Eh, really?” Minji looked at you thoughtfully, taking the comment awfully serious, “guess that explains some of those crushes.”
“Oh, god, guys, seriously I don’t have a—I just like to feel safe, okay?” 
“Mhm, sure.” Siyeon clearly didn’t believe a single word you just said. “Honestly though, it’s kinda surprising you never hooked up with Eric, considering….” she trailed off and Minji giggled.
You stared at them in confusion, unsure why they would bring your childhood friend into this now. “Considering what?”
“Damn, you really don’t look at him at all, do you?”
“What do you—why would I look at him? He’s like family!”
Siyeon scrunched up her face apologetically. “Well, sorry about that then because I think I just ruined that for you.”
“As if,” you replied confidently, but that confidence was going to waver all too soon.
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“You’re being weird today,” Eric complained a few days later, sitting on his bed with a small pout on his lips, “are you even listening?”
“No, of course I am, you were just saying—I—,” you fumbled for words, your brain awfully occupied with the way his arms looked way too buff, especially now that he crossed them in front of his chest. Despite your best efforts, Siyeon's words had ruined you, your eyes glued to his body all day already, from the moment you'd met up in the mall to now, hours later, when you were sitting in his bedroom. How did you never notice the way your best friend had bulked up? When did that even happen? And why for god’s sake was he wearing a sleeveless shirt? It was already October, wasn’t it time to get out the sweaters?
“Y/n,” he frowned, “this is important to me.”
You snapped yourself out of it, forcing your gaze away from his arms and back to his pouty eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m all over the place today, but I swear I’ll listen better now.”
“No, forget it. Not talking to you anymore.” He let himself fall back onto the mattress, rolling over to face away from you in what you knew was more show than any actual offense.
“Ericcccc,” you poked him in the side, “come on, don’t be like that.”
He wiggled away from you, clearly feeling ticklish. “Stop that!”
“Then talk to me? Please?” You pleaded, continuing to bother him when he still didn’t budge, attacking his waist to get a reaction. When you finally did get a reaction though, it was way more than you’d bargained for. Eric suddenly turned around, and in a matter of seconds had you under him, wrists pinned above your head.
“I told you to stop that,” he complained, but you couldn’t even say anything, just staring at him with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. You knew it was wrong, oh so wrong, but there was something about the way he caged you in, overpowering you so easily. You supposed your friend had a point and you did have a strength kink, because why else would his grip on your wrists make you rub your thighs together?
When you didn’t respond, Eric’s expression shifted to something like confusion. He eyed you intently and then he suddenly gave your wrists an experimental squeeze. The surprised noise that left your lips sounded more like a needy whine than anything else and you wanted to bury yourself alive.
“Are you—” he started, but you cut him off, “No.”
“—turned on?”
“No!” you repeated with more force, straining against his grip to free yourself, but he effortlessly held you down.
“I think you are though.” A smug little grin played on his lips, eyes twinkling with mischief as he flexed his arms and watched your eyes dart to the movement, “You’re into that.”
“No,” you insisted again like a broken record, but it wasn’t convincing at all with your gaze still fixed on his biceps and the way you’d stopped struggling in his hold.
“You could have told me, you know? We’re best friends after all.” He leaned down, his nose ghosting over your neck and making you shiver, “Have you been looking at me like that this whole time?”
You shook your head but you doubted he believed you even when it was true. “Never,” you replied, whimpering when you felt him pressing one of his knees between your legs, pushing up your skirt. 
“Never? Then why so suddenly?”
“It’s that dumb shirt,” you hissed.
Eric’s gaze briefly wandered down to his chest before it landed back on you. “The shirt? Would you rather I take it off then?”
You slowly shook your head, but when he let go of your wrists to pull up the fabric over his head, your eyes automatically followed, fixed onto every new inch of skin he exposed. 
“Better?” he asked cheekily as he tossed the shirt aside, and it was as if something inside of you finally snapped. You reached up and literally smashed your lips into his, fingers carding through his dark hair and trying to pull him that much closer. He let out a small noise of surprise before returning the kiss. His hands found your hips, the strong grip making you mewl.
“That’s really cute actually,” he mumbled into your lips.
“Don’t tease me!”
“It’s not teasing if we’re both having fun though, right?”
“Who said I’m having fun?”
“Are you not?” he gave your hips another squeeze, just to draw another pretty sound from you. “I’m pretty sure you are.”
“Fine,” you relented before shutting him up with your lips against his that he eagerly devoured. 
“More,” you gasped in between kisses and you weren’t even sure what exactly you were asking for, but Eric seemed to have a pretty good idea, his fingers wandering under your skirt, pushing up the fabric to reveal your soaked panties. For a moment he just stared, almost marveling at the state he put you in, and it made your skin prickle with a mixture of shame and arousal. “Don’t look so much,” You reached for your skirt, trying to cover up again, but Eric easily took a hold of your wrists, holding them to your chest with one hand while the other started tracing the wet patch between your legs. 
“But I want to,” he simply answered. The touch of his fingers was feather light, not enough to really get you going, and it made frustration bubble up inside of you. Before you could complain though, he suddenly pushed the fabric aside, his thumb applying pressure to your clit that made you buck your hips into him. “And you did ask for more,” he continued as two of his fingers teased your entrance, spreading around your juices before they dipped into your heat.
“Fuck,” you hissed at the sudden intrusion, clenching around his digits as he slowly moved them to get you used to the stretch.
“Still not having fun?” Eric grinned, all cocky, his thumb still rubbing slow circles on your sensitive bud as his fingers curled inside of you, hitting just the right spot that made you gasp in pleasure. 
“No, yeah, yes,” you blabbered, less interested in his words and more focused on the feeling building up inside of you, “don’t stop.”
“Don’t worry, babe, I won’t.” Eric raised your wrists over your head, pinning them to the mattress again to give him better access to your neck. He leaned down, his lips sucking kisses into the soft skin that only brought you closer to your release.
“C-close,” you pressed out, bucking your hips into his touch again, “‘m close.”
“It’s okay,” he whispered into your skin, his fingers inside of you still attacking that sensitive spot while his other hand applied a little more pressure to your wrists, “you can cum.” That was all it took to send you over the edge, your body spasming with the waves of pleasure running through you. He kept going a little longer, helping you ride out your high.
“Eric,” you whined, twitching in overstimulation. 
“Too much?” he pulled his fingers away, licking them clean with his tongue.
“Wanna touch you too,” you mumbled blearily, hands straining weakly against the grip he still had on you. You thought you saw his eyes widen in surprise and the hint of a blush on his cheeks, but you weren’t too sure. He immediately let go of your wrists, almost as if it had totally slipped his mind that he’d held onto them this whole time. You brought your arms down to wrap around his neck, pulling him into a sweet kiss.
“Can I? Touch you?” you whispered, just to be sure.
He visibly swallowed. “Yeah.”
One of your hands wandered down his exposed body, tracing his abs before dipping into his sweatpants. You could feel how hard he was through his boxers and even though you just came, the thought of that,  of him being turned on because of you, got you clenching around nothing. He let out a small groan at your touch and it spurred you on to get a little bolder. You pulled down the waistband of his pants and boxers just enough for his aroused member to spring free. The sight of it made you bite your lower lip, one of your hands immediately wrapping around it and smearing the small bead of precum that had gathered at the tip. Eric let out a moan as you started working him, his arms flexing as he was holding himself up above you. “S’good,” he mumbled, his voice breathy and it almost made you pathetically buck your hips again.
“Wanna feel you,” you mewled, desperate to have his girth stretching you out. His eyes met yours, searching your face, “Are you sure?”
“Please,” you begged, your hands on him drawing another groan from him.
“Alright, I got you,” he pushed your hands away and then easily flipped the both of you over, causing you to squeak in surprise. He scooted up on the bed until he was leaning against the headboard, having you straddling his hips. “Let’s get these off, hm?” His hands reached under your skirt again, finding your panties and pushing the drenched fabric down your thighs. Your arms automatically found their way around his neck to steady yourself as he helped you out of them and tossed them to the side. “This too,” he whispered, tugging on the hem of your shirt. You lifted your arms up to let him pull it over your head and he didn’t hesitate to do so, your bra quickly following as well. 
“You’re so pretty,” Eric praised, his hands and lips all over your body, exploring every inch of your newly exposed skin. “So pretty and soft.” His mouth left small bites and kisses on your chest, marveling at the light marks he left behind.
“Eric, hurry,” you complained, demonstratively grinding down on him, unable to contain the whimper that left your throat at the feeling of him, hard and veiny rubbing against your folds. His breathing hitched too, clearly as worked up as you were. He took hold of your hips, raising you up just enough so he could align himself with your entrance and just the feeling of that already threatened to make your knees buckle. You still felt sensitive from your previous high but before you could wonder if maybe it’d be too much after all, he’d started pushing your hips down, the tip breaching your entrance with a delicious stretch that made you see stars. He went painfully slow, taking his time to lower you onto him until he finally bottomed out. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt so full and you wondered how you were supposed to move when just this already had your limbs feeling weak. It was a silly thing to worry about though, because Eric had no intention of making you move yourself. After giving you a small moment to adjust, he lifted you off his dick as if you weighed nothing, before slamming you down again in one smooth thrust. The pace he set was relentless, almost as if he lost himself to the pleasure of fucking into you. All you could do was cling to his shoulders for dear life, fingernails leaving little crescents in his skin as you let out wanton moans. 
“S’good, doing so good for me,” he mumbled, as if you were actually doing anything other than just taking what he was giving to you. The brutal pace had that familiar knot building up in your stomach again and you found yourself reaching your second high of the night way too quickly, clenching around him like crazy. He fucked you right through it, until you slumped onto him in overstimulation and exhaustion.
“Doing so well,” he whispered into your hair, his hands on your hips still moving you on top of him, “Just a bit more, ‘m close.”
You whimpered helplessly, tears gathering in your eyes from how sensitive you felt. But you didn’t tell him to stop, wanting for him to reach his high as well. “Please,” you whined, “please cum.” You clenched around him as you felt his hips stutter before he filled you up, fucking his release into you with a few more thrusts before he finally pulled out. He watched mesmerized as it dripped out of you, a mixture of your fluids running down your inner thighs. But then his eyes suddenly went wide with panic. “Fuck, oh, god, I’m so sorry, I came inside, I— should I—”
“It’s okay,” you mumbled, having a hard time keeping your eyes open, “‘m on birth control. Just help me clean up.” 
“Of course,” he nodded overly eager, quickly gathering you up in his arms to get you to the bathroom. If you weren’t so out of it, you would probably marvel at the way he carried you so easily, even after he just fucked your brains out, but you were too tired to give it a proper thought. Eric drew a bath, getting in behind you as the warm water slowly rose around the two of you. You felt safe in his arms, making it so easy for your drowsiness to take over. Your head lolled back against his shoulder while he cleaned you up, the hands that were so rough with you before suddenly all sweet and careful. His fingers smoothed over your wrists, worried about the slight red marks he’d left behind in the heat of the moment. You didn’t really mind though. In fact, you actually liked it. “That was a lot,” you whispered, already half asleep on his chest. You felt the way he tensed beneath you, getting ready to apologize for taking it too far before you added, “We should do that again sometime.” 
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a/n: i'm so serious when i say i need to be sedated
well. anyway :)
♡ consider reblogging if you enjoyed this ♡ masterlist ♡
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librababe99 · 2 months ago
Note
Can I please request Jason Todd being jealous of reader and Dick who are close (in age and as friends)? Their ease and dynamic with each other brings out all of Jason’s insecurities as he has a crush on reader.
Anon, I absolutely LOVE this request and finally was able to finish something I think you might just like! 🥰
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Title: In the Shadows of a Grayson
Tags: Jason Todd x Gn!Reader, friends to lovers, angst with happy ending wc: 1.4K
Jason Todd wasn’t the brooding type, at least not anymore. Well, maybe he was—but he didn’t like admitting it. He had come a long way since his days as the vengeful Red Hood, as the outcast Robin. But certain feelings were harder to shake than others, especially when it came to you.
You and Dick had been friends for as long as Jason could remember. You were close in age, shared interests, and had that easy, effortless rapport that made everyone in the Batfamily smile. To Jason, it was like watching the sun and moon, two celestial bodies that were just meant to be in sync. He hated it, if he was being honest with himself. Every time you laughed at one of Dick’s jokes, every time you gave him that affectionate look, Jason’s chest tightened.
Not because he disliked Dick. No, Jason respected his older brother more than he’d ever admit. He’d take a bullet for him without hesitation, but seeing the two of you together—seeing you with Dick—it hurt. It was like a reminder of everything Jason wasn’t. Dick was charming, confident, and always knew the right thing to say. Jason was the opposite: rough around the edges, quiet, with his words always coming out too harsh or too clumsy. He never knew how to talk to you the way Dick could.
And the worst part? You were perfect for Dick. At least that’s how it seemed in Jason’s eyes. The way you two talked about old movies, the way you could spend hours discussing literature or some obscure bit of history that left everyone else in the room confused—Jason could never keep up with any of that. It wasn’t his world, not really.
So, he stood on the sidelines, watching, brooding, nursing a crush that had taken root so deeply it hurt.
"Jason?" Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He had been leaning against the balcony of the Wayne Manor, the Gotham skyline stretching out in front of him. The cold air did little to ease the heat rising in his chest when he turned and saw you walking up to him, your face lit up in that way that made his heart race.
He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, trying to act casual. “Hey,” he muttered, not quite meeting your eyes. “What are you doing out here?”
You shrugged, stepping closer to lean on the railing beside him. “Needed some fresh air. Dick’s telling another one of his ‘first day as Robin’ stories, and I think I’ve heard it about a hundred times by now.”
Jason huffed out a laugh, though it was more bitter than he intended. “Yeah, he loves those, doesn’t he?”
“Are you okay?” you asked, a little too gently for Jason’s liking. You had that look on your face, the one that said you knew something was bothering him. You were good at that—at reading people, at reading him.
“I’m fine,” he lied, turning his gaze back to the skyline. “Just… thinking.”
You were quiet for a moment, and Jason felt your eyes on him. It was unnerving in the best and worst ways. He didn’t deserve your attention like this, not when his insides were twisted up with jealousy. You deserved someone like Dick—someone better.
“Jason…” You hesitated, as if searching for the right words. “You’ve been distant lately. I feel like… I don’t know. Like we haven’t talked in weeks.”
Jason clenched his jaw. Of course you noticed. You always did. He hadn’t been able to look you in the eye for days now, especially not when you were around Dick. It was too much, and he was too afraid that his emotions would slip out if he let his guard down even for a second.
“I’ve been busy,” he said, hoping that would be enough.
But you didn’t back down. You never did when it came to him.
“I miss talking to you, Jay,” you said softly, your voice carrying a sincerity that made his chest ache. “It feels like you’re avoiding me.”
Jason’s hands balled into fists inside his pockets. You weren’t supposed to miss him. You weren’t supposed to care this much. You were supposed to be with Dick, where you belonged, not out here worrying about him.
“I’m not avoiding you,” he grumbled, though he knew it was a lie. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”
“About what?”
His pulse quickened. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t tell you. The words were stuck in his throat, a bitter tangle of frustration, self-doubt, and longing. He couldn’t compete with Dick. He wasn’t what you needed.
“Look,” Jason sighed, straightening up and turning to face you, his eyes finally locking onto yours. “Why aren’t you with Dick right now? He’s your best friend, right? You’ve known him forever. Why aren’t you inside with him?”
You frowned, confusion crossing your face. “Jason, what are you talking about?”
“You and Dick,” Jason forced out, the words bitter on his tongue. “You’ve always had each other’s backs. You’ve got the same interests, the same everything. You’re perfect for each other. So why the hell are you out here with me?”
Your eyes widened, realization dawning on your face, and Jason hated how vulnerable he felt in that moment, how exposed his insecurities were laid out in front of you.
“Jason… no.” You shook your head, taking a step closer to him. “I’m not—Dick and I, we’re just friends. We’ve always been friends. That’s it.”
Jason blinked, his mind racing to keep up with what you were saying. “But you’re always with him. You two are so close…”
“Because we’re friends,” you repeated, your tone gentle but firm. “That’s all. I’ve never had feelings for Dick. Not like that.”
Jason stared at you, his heart pounding in his chest. He wanted to believe you, but the nagging doubts in his mind wouldn’t let go. “Then why… why me?”
A small, soft smile tugged at your lips, and you reached out, placing a hand on his arm. “Because you’re the one I care about, Jason. I like you. Not Dick. Not anyone else. You.”
Jason’s breath caught in his throat, and for a moment, he couldn’t speak. You liked him? After all this time, all the late nights he spent torturing himself over you and Dick, you had liked him?
“I’ve been waiting for you to see it,” you continued, your voice quiet but sincere. “But you always keep your distance, like you don’t think you deserve it. But Jason… you do.”
Jason swallowed hard, his emotions threatening to overwhelm him. He didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to handle the sudden flood of relief and disbelief and hope that surged through him. You cared about him. You liked him.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked, his voice rough, as if the words were dragged out of him.
You smiled softly, shrugging. “I didn’t want to push you. I thought you’d tell me when you were ready. And… I was kind of hoping you’d notice on your own.”
Jason let out a shaky breath, his mind still trying to catch up to everything that had just happened. He had spent so long convinced that you belonged to someone else, that he had blinded himself to the truth right in front of him.
Tentatively, Jason reached up and cupped your face, his thumb brushing gently against your cheek. “I’m an idiot,” he muttered, his voice thick with emotion.
You laughed softly, leaning into his touch. “Maybe a little,” you teased, your eyes shining with affection. “But I like you anyway.”
Jason couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips, the weight in his chest finally lifting. He had spent so long hiding his feelings, afraid of rejection, afraid of not being enough. But standing here with you, looking into your eyes, he felt something he hadn’t in a long time: hope.
Without another word, Jason leaned down and kissed you, the lingering doubts and insecurities melting away in the warmth of your touch. You kissed him back with a quiet intensity that made his heart race, and for the first time in a long time, Jason let himself believe that maybe—just maybe—he could be enough.
When you finally pulled away, you rested your forehead against his, your breath warm against his skin. “See?” you whispered. “You’re the one I want, Jason. No one else.”
Jason closed his eyes, holding you close, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he allowed himself to breathe.
Maybe he wasn’t perfect, and maybe he wasn’t always the easiest person to love, but as long as you were by his side, he knew he’d be okay.
And that was enough.
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steddieas-shegoes · 1 month ago
Text
no room for more
for @steddiesmuttyseptember prompts 'full' and 'silent'
rated e | 18+, minors dni or even look in this direction out of curiosity | 1521 words | no cw | see all tags on ao3
🔴⭕🔴⭕🔴⭕🔴⭕🔴⭕
“Too much,” Eddie whines.
He isn’t much of a whiner, so Steve pauses.
“Is it?” He asks as he looks down to see his fingers pushing in next to the plug that’s kept Eddie open for hours. “Need to stop?”
Eddie shakes his head. “Just need a second.”
Steve can give him that. He’s taking more than he’s ever had before, and he’s doing it while having to be as quiet as possible. Robin’s in the other room, hopefully asleep, but probably not.
She’s made it clear on more than one occasion that she never wants to hear anything they get up to.
They probably shouldn’t have done this on a night when she was home, but Eddie insisted he could be quiet.
Eddie wants Steve to fuck him while he’s got a plug in him. That’s what this is all about. He wants to feel full and stretched and loved.
But if two fingers and the plug are already too much, Steve’s not sure they’ll get there tonight.
“Okay. More,” Eddie whispers. He spreads his legs apart further, holding himself open, letting out a long breath as he relaxes.
He trusts Steve. It’s never more clear than in these moments.
Steve readjusts himself so he can lick the precum beading at the tip of Eddie’s cock while he adds a third finger. There’s a lot of resistance, but Eddie doesn’t pull away or make any type of noise to let him know to stop.
“Fuck, fuck,” Eddie gasps, lifting his head to look down at Steve’s mouth wrapping around his cock. “Gonna come.”
“No you’re not,” Steve pulls away, still his fingers. “I’m not inside you yet. That was the reason for all this, wasn’t it? You don’t wanna disappoint me, do you?”
Eddie shakes his head before Steve even finishes asking his questions.
“Then you’re not gonna come until I’m inside you. Got it?”
Eddie nods.
Steve’s pretty sure if he manages to get his dick inside Eddie, he’ll last about two seconds. Probably won’t even be able to actually move with how tight he is around his fingers.
“Do you need to come?” Steve asks, stretching his fingers a bit more as he speaks.
“No,” Eddie whispers. He’s lying, but Steve appreciates that he’s doing his best right now. It’s gotta be hard when your prostate has a plug rubbing against it constantly while you get stretched more than you ever have. “I can- I can wait.”
“That’s because you’re a good boy, right?” Steve whispers against his hip, nipping at the skin.
“Mhm.”
“Say it, then.”
“I’m-” Eddie rocks his hips up as Steve starts to work the plug in and out with one hand while his three fingers keep stretching him open.
“You’re…”
“I’m a good boy,” Eddie is getting louder every time he speaks. Steve should care more, but he finds it hard to when he sounds so breathy and gone.
“Yeah, but who do you belong to, baby?” Steve pushes because he can, because he knows Eddie loves when Steve gets possessive. “Who are you a good boy for?”
“You. Good boy for-” Eddie moans, much too loud, closes his eyes and tenses his body. “For you.”
“You are,” Steve says as he pulls his fingers out. He should probably add a fourth one, just to make sure, but Eddie made it obvious he wanted the stretch, even if it hurt a little. “You’re gonna feel so good.”
Steve’s spreading lube on his dick when Eddie whines again.
Steve pauses again.
“Aren’t you supposed to be quiet? What’s got you whining?” Steve asks. He hopes it’s not from actual pain, though he thinks Eddie would’ve said red by now if that was the case.
“Need you,” Eddie sounds wrecked. He doesn’t sound like he needs anything at all, like he’s already gotten everything Steve can give him. “Need more.”
Steve answers by guiding his leaking cock to Eddie’s entrance, pushing the plug so it’s to the side.
Eddie’s not tense anymore. He seems like he’s not even physically in bed, actually.
He doesn’t get to subspace very often when they play like this. It’s just not easy for him. He feels good, and it’s nothing either of them do wrong, it’s just not something that happens.
So when it does happen, Steve makes sure he does everything he can to keep him there for a while.
“Look at you, being so good for me. Taking everything I give you, staying quiet,” Steve knows that part is a little bit of a lie, but if it helps him stay quiet, it’s worth it. “Gonna fill you up so you’re mine.”
Eddie is making low whimpering sounds, something Steve’s never heard him make before.
He’s incredibly tight, almost impossibly so. Steve starts to worry he won’t be able to bully his way inside next to the plug. Maybe they should’ve tried his cock and two fingers first or something. Maybe they should have tried the plug and the dildo. Anything else first.
Eddie’s eyes roll back as Steve pushes further in, halfway inside him now.
“Yours, yours. Yours..”
Steve barely manages to bite back a loud groan as Eddie clenches around him.
“Relax, baby. Gotta let me in,” Steve hears how breathless he sounds. He wonders if Eddie is tight enough to keep him hard even after he comes. It’s worth a try tonight.
Eddie listens because he’s Steve’s good boy. He lets out a long breath and Steve is able to push all the way inside.
“Steve, Steve, Steve, holy fuck, I have to-” Eddie is babbling, barely coherent. Steve’s doing his best to listen, but he’s admittedly quite busy trying not to come yet. “Gotta come. Please, please.”
“Almost, baby. You’re doing so good. I haven’t even fucked you yet,” Steve groans as he slowly pulls out halfway, then pushes back in. Eddie’s tight around him, the plug trying to fall out to make room for Steve only stopped by Steve’s fingers holding the base.
He knows he won’t last long, so he decides he’s gonna give it his all for as many seconds as he can. Because that’s what he’s working with here: seconds, not minutes.
Steve fucks him, harder, faster, probably enough for Eddie to feel at least a little discomfort from the pull of the plug and push of his cock all at once. It’s damn near too much, Eddie’s walls tightening around him nearly painfully as he gets closer and closer.
“You feel so good, baby. So tight. I’m gonna come, fill you up even more. Think it’ll even fit?” Steve’s still in pretty good shape, but this is pushing him over the edge, making him sound like he’s been running miles when he’s barely even moved.
Eddie doesn’t answer. His eyes are closed, mouth open in what might be a silent scream.
He’s coming, making a mess of himself, shaking. Steve can’t breathe as he watches him fall apart.
No one is as beautiful as Eddie is when he comes. It’s like looking at a star too close.
Steve can feel his own cock twitching inside Eddie, filling him up just like he promised. He’s biting his lips until they bleed to keep quiet, but he doesn’t even know if he’s successful.
He pulls the plug out of Eddie when he starts shivering, overstimulated and tears falling from his eyes.
His cock is still hard, but he doesn’t think it will last much longer. Not with the way his cum starts dripping from Eddie’s hole, and Eddie lets his fingers dive down to scoop it back inside him. Once Eddie’s fingers drag along his cock, he pulls out, wincing at the overstimulation. Sometimes he can go a couple rounds, sometimes he’s lucky to make it through one.
“Plug,” Eddie rasps, shoving more fingers into his hole to try to stop the cum from leaking out of him.
Steve does what he asks, but knows he’s gonna take it out in the next 20 minutes or so to make sure he isn’t hurt.
“I love you, baby,” Steve says as he kisses his forehead, his cheek, his nose. “You were perfect. You feel okay?”
“Mhm,” Eddie hums. “Sore.”
“We’ll take a bath in a minute,” Steve reminds him of the plan. He only agreed to try this if Eddie allowed him to go all out with the aftercare. That was their deal. “Can you look at me?”
Eddie’s eyes blink open slowly, glassy and watery.
“There you are.” Steve kisses the corner of his mouth. “You did so good.”
“Your good boy.”
“You are my good boy. Always.” Steve hears Robin’s door slam shut. He laughs, hangs his head as he realizes Robin was probably in the living room for most of that. “Maybe we should’ve been quieter.”
Eddie’s brows furrow. “I had two dicks in me.”
Steve snorts. “Well, a dick and a plug, but yeah. I think we should’ve saved it for when Robin wasn’t home.”
“She can deal. She chose this.”
“And I chose you.”
Eddie smiles up at him, still half-gone.
“Love you. Bath?”
“On it.”
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hydrobunny · 2 months ago
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i knew you'd come back to me
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tags: getting back together, vague allusions to angst, timeskip reunion, ambiguous? ending 880 words
a/n: hope u enjoy anon. based on cardigan
it’s been six years since you last saw rin itoshi.
six years since the day he turned his back on you without looking back, leaving behind the remains of your fragile relationship.
but now that you’ve grown - and gotten through life just fine on your own- you’re not sure what that long-gone relationship really had been. if it ever affected him the way it affected you.
and yet, at a small shitty parisian bar several thousand miles aways from home, you see rin itoshi again, and everything changes.
for you could recognize the shape and angles of his face from oceans away, and he knows the same. shocked recognition flares through rin’s eyes (still beautiful, still so intense).
the two of you are young again, and it used to be-
sneaking out of school early so he could practice drills while you did homework on the bleachers-
his hands interlaced with yours, form trembling as the both of you agreed that an era in the itoshi household had ended forever-
your hand on his wrist, his feet dragging in the wet sand while he half heartedly argued against entering the cold waters-
him opening your christmas gift, a luxury cologne that had taken you two months to save up for-
you and him in your living room, horror movie blaring on the screen while he pretended to be annoyed at your screaming-
him packing a duffel bag with his best worn football cleats and a mysterious invitation while you mulled over the best way to say a temporary goodbye-
you cheering his name in a stadium crowded with his brother’s legacy, unaware as something in his heart broke and was reforged anew-
the two of you were sixteen, and rin itoshi was telling you to not wait for him again.
with an ice cold voice, he had left the dregs of your relationship behind.
but six years is a long time to hold a grudge- so you don’t. you were both young, with nothing but the cruelty and arrogance that came with being young.
you aren't sixteen years old anymore.
so you don’t blame rin itoshi for breaking your heart. instead, you meet his eyes head-on and smile, hoping he can taste your forgiveness.
you think he might. for rin almost flinches away, his eyes still flashing over you like he can’t believe you’re really there.
“hey, rin.” and you let him back in.
“y/n,” he says slowly. “you’re here. in paris.”
the barkeeper slides you a drink wordlessly. you tilt your head. a small part of you marvels inwardly at how tall he is. “so are you. small world, isn't it?”
rin blinks, gaze flickering once to the small glass, and you’ve known the confusion in his voice since years ago. “i live here.”
you don’t know that one. “oh,” you manage, too awkwardly. the bass of the music almost drowns out your words. “paris? i wouldn't have taken you for the type.”
his confusion turns into straight disbelief, face furrowing. “what? no, not like-” he clears his throat. “for the football team. pxg? i’m the starting striker.”
“that does seem more fitting,” you pick up your glass. “so you did it? blue lock worked out?”
rin doesn’t respond immediately, searching your face carefully. in the tense pause, you throw back at least half of your cup. “you really don’t know?”
“well, it wasn't like i wanted to subscribe to that show,” his face stiffens at your words. “if im being honest, the only thing i even know about japanese football now is that we think isagi’s the great hope of us all.”
rin’s face shifts immediately to a display of impressive annoyance. “don't believe that crap.”
you bite down on your laughter. “i don't feel that strongly about it.”
your phone buzzes in your pocket. his eyes trace your movements as you pull it out, skimming the notification.
“i should go.”
“already?” he blurts out, grimacing immediately after.
you raise an eyebrow. “i've been here. you just haven't seen me.”
“shitty place to spend your time.”
your heart twangs with the familiarity of his casual brashness. “sure. i’m glad to know you’re doing well, rin. see you in another six years?”
he doesn't respond. with a sigh, you leave .
there’s no point in looking back. you push past sweaty bodies, an emotion you can't quite place roaring in your ears.
it was over. it had been over. you had already long accepted it to be over, so why did it still burn to turn away?
a hand wraps around your wrist, firm.
you whirl around-
rin’s eyes meet yours with a breath-stopping intensity, desperately searching for something. “i’m sorry.”
the music is too loud. you blink rapidly. “what?”
he leans in closer to you, and you realize he still wears the same cologne. “you were too good for me. and i’m sorry for what i did to you.”
you step backward, heart thudding with the rhythm of a song years paused. “i don't- rin?”
his hand is still on your wrist. “it’s always been you, y/n, and i don't know why it took so long to realize. but i was a fucking idiot.”
you swallow.
rin itoshi meets your gaze. “one more try.”
the lights flash a dozen different colors, and you hear yourself answer.
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creamsickle-writes · 2 years ago
Text
Forbidden Fruit: Shanks x F!Reader
Tags: nsfw, Modern!AU, AGE GAPS (at one point he mentions he's old enough to be reader's dad), mentions of creampies/breeding, dirty talk, daddy kink, sex toys, and phone sex
Thank you @aces-sweetheart for making this post which inspired me to write this fic!
Click here for part two!
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You were desperate.
After looking for a boyfriend for so long, you were getting frustrated. Boys at your college seemed dull to you, and online dating was a total bust; finding companionship seemed impossible for you.
You wanted something romantic, sure, but right now, you needed something more sexual. You hadn’t been laid in god knows how long, and the sexual energy within you had reached its bursting point.
You thought to yourself as you lay in bed; you could’ve used one of your many toys to get you off, but that was growing old. You wanted someone to be there with you.
You chewed at your lip, trying to decide what to do with your frustrated self.
Until an idea popped into your mind.
Maybe you didn’t have a companion, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t buy some services to replicate the experience.
Immediately you perked up and began searching for online cams and various male voice-over actors you could listen to. 
But after looking at those, you decided that wasn’t quite right either…
That’s when you see a targeted ad about a phone sex hotline. You raised your brows; you had never considered doing something like that before… but the more you thought about it, the more appealing it sounded.
You clicked the number on the search engine page without even thinking it through.
You almost hang up, but you’re greeted by an automated voice.
“Welcome!” It cheerily rings, “You have reached The New World Chat Line! Please select one if you are interested in women, two of you are interested in men.”
You debate hanging up right then, but with shaky fingers, you select ‘two.’
The silence is loud, but eventually, you hear that automated voice again.
“Please select one of our many male operators to chat with!”
The phone begins repeating back various profiles that the men had recorded themselves. There were many different guys, each with their own list of kinks and physical descriptions. You chewed your lip as you listened; some were interesting but not enough to get you to bite the bullet.
That is, until you hear a deep, raspy voice. 
“Hey there,” It starts, “You can call me Akagami. Uh, let’s see, I’ve got red hair, and I’m a little over six foot… I think I’m around six foot six?”
Your eyes bulged; he considered that “a little” over?
“I’m looking for sweet girls that like to play with older men. Real innocent, cute types are perfect for my style of play. I want to guide a girl, teach her everything from how to squirt to how to please me-“
You don’t need to hear anymore. You want this guy now.
Pressing ‘one’ on impulse, the phone begins to ring.
It doesn’t take long before there’s an answer.
“Hey there, sweet thing,” he says it with a familiarity that causes your body to heat up.
“U-Uh, hi-“ you want to smack yourself as your voice comes out way too squeaky and high-pitched.
He laughs on the other end, but you can tell it’s all in good fun, not out of malice.
“And how are you doing today, princess?”
“Uhm,” you pick at the hem of your shirt as you lay on your back, “I’m feeling a bit lonely. I wanted to talk to someone…”
You can hear the smile in his voice, “Is that right? So you decided to talk to me? I’m flattered.”
“Mhm…” you trail off, not sure how to get the ball rolling. 
But fortunately for you, he’s a natural. 
“Honey, you sound a bit young,” he starts, “How old are you?”
“O-Old enough!”
He chuckles, “So you’re a younger girl.”
Your face burns bright red. Were you seriously so obvious that he could read you so easily? 
“Hm, don’t worry, your little secret is safe with me.” He purrs it into the phone, and your body shivers at his tone, “Is this your first time calling for this kind of thing?”
“Um, yeah…”
He chuckles lowly, and your heart skips a beat, “Don’t worry, we can talk about anything you want. It can get sexy, it can get sad, hell, you could just tell me about your day; I’m all ears.”
You smile a bit at his words, your nerves starting to disappear. 
“Well, I called because, like I said, I’m kinda lonely…” you pause as you debate what you want to say, “I’ve been trying to find a boyfriend but no luck…”
You hear him “aww” as he listens, and you talk a bit about your dating struggles, how college has been challenging, and how you’re up to your limit with how sexually frustrated you are. 
“Things can be rough at your age. I remember I had a hard time when I was in college…”
“How old are you?” You chirp up, and he laughs. 
“Curious? I’m 40 now.”
You hummed, “You’re old enough to be my dad.”
“Yeah?” He chuckles, “I kind of figured that.”
“It’s kinda…” you swallow, unsure how to finish your sentence without dying of shame. 
“Kinda what?” He pushes, and you can practically hear his smirk, “Go ahead.”
Your core lit up at his words, “Even though you’re almost twice my age- no because you’re almost twice my age… it’s really getting me worked up.”
He growls, “Yeah? You like fantasizing about older guys?”
“I-I do-” you whimper, “My dad has a friend… I’ve always found him attractive…”
“Sounds like you’ve always had a thing for older men.”
“Always.”
He groans at that, “Dirty little girl… don’t you know it’s girls like you that make things so tempting for guys like me? We want to take advantage of cute things like you who have no idea what you’re getting into…”
You bite your lip, “But I want you to take advantage of me.”
“Fuck-” he hisses, “Alright, I don’t know if I can take the idle conversation anymore, princess. You’re making me so hard right now.”
You swallow, working up the courage to make the first move, “Can you tell me how hard you are? Please?”
Your core flutters at the grunt that comes from the other end of the line.
“It’s getting really hard, baby. My pants feel so tight right now just listening to your sweet voice say such dirty things.”
He groans, and your ears perk up at the sound of fabric shuffling in the background. Your heartbeat accelerated at the action.
You squeeze your thighs together, trying to relieve any discomfort that grew between your legs at his words.
And with that, there’s a click from the phone. 
“Hello?”
“To continue, please enter payment information.”
Shit. Your free minutes ran out. 
You scrambled to grab your wallet on the bedside table and fished out your card. Quickly, you punch in your credit card info before the phone rings again. 
A warm chuckle greets you, “Did I lose you?”
“Yeah-“ you sigh, “I needed to enter some card info.”
You can hear the smile in his voice, “I see… don’t worry, I kept your seat nice and warm for you~”
“Thank you,” you laugh, “I appreciate it.”
“Yknow,” he starts, “I bet a slutty little thing like you has a bunch of toys to play with. Why don’t you take one from your collection and use it?”
“O-Okay.”
You whine as you remove your hand from your cunt and get out of bed, pulling out a box from underneath it. You pull out your favorite clitoral vibrator and a basic dildo. You describe to Akagami the toys you’ve chosen.
“Good girl,” he purrs, “Try easing that dildo inside first…”
As you lay on your back, you spread your legs, teasing your hole with the silicone tip. You whimper softly before pushing in and gasping at the intrusion. You’re plenty wet, so the toy slides right in, bottoming out to the suction cup base. 
“I-It’s in- “
“Good, good.” He hums. “Turn on the vibrator now. Make sure it’s on the lowest setting, alright?”
You adjust so that you’re holding the phone between your shoulder and cheek, your dominant hand turning on the vibrator and placing it on your clit. Even though it was only on the first setting, the buzzing made you jump. 
“God, I can just imagine your flustered body writhing…” he laughs, “You said you’re in college, right? Don’t you have roommates you’re worried about?”
You bit your lip, “She won’t be back for a while… I think.”
“Oh? You think?” He teases, “Now you’ve got me thinking about if I was in your dorm room with you…”
“W-Wh-” you try to get your words out, “What would you do if you were here?”
“Mm,” he drawls, “first, I’d kiss my precious princess. Swipe my tongue over your lips before playing with your tongue.”
Your face grows hot, and you wonder what his tongue would taste like. Does he drink? Smoke? Your tongue darts over your lips as you ponder.
“And I’d play with your tits… squeeze them and play with your nipples that I bet are so hard right now.”
You use your free hand to pull at your nipples, which are just as stiff as the older man speculated.
“A-And then what?”
“Eager, are you?” He stifles a laugh, “I like that….”
“Just for you, Daddy.”
A silence lingers, and for a while, you’re worried you might’ve made him uncomfortable. 
But then he speaks. 
“You know, a lot of dorms have security. And even if yours doesn’t, other students will likely see us…” You press your lips together, wondering where he’s taking this, “You think they’d think I’m your father when you lead me to your room? That our relationship is innocent?”
Your eyes flutter shut as he continues, “Or do you think they’d know I’m just there to use your younger body? That I’m just a perverted old man fucking a college girl?”
“I-I-“you stutter, tossing your head back, “I don’t know-“
“Turn up your toy, princess. Let Daddy hear your moans.”
You obey his command immediately as if he’s placed a spell on you. Your finger clicks the button on your toy again, making the vibrations grow stronger. 
“Oh, Daddy-” you sharply gasp, “I need your cock- how big is it? Tell me-“
“Around eight inches when I’m this hard, princess.”
Your mouth watered.
“Never had a dick that big in me before…”
He chuckles, “No?”
“It’s probably too big-“
“Daddy will make it fit.”
You moan openly, your cunt squeezing the dildo inside you at his words. Even though he didn’t give you permission, you turned the toy up one more notch. You bit your lip, knowing you’d get in trouble if he found out. Over the sound of your toy, you hear wet noises coming from his end.
“Would you let Daddy fuck you raw, princess?” He grunts, “Would you let him creampie your little pussy?”
“Yes-“you breathlessly gasp, “Y-Yes, I want it-“
“Mm,” he moans, “You answered that quickly. You could get knocked up, you know.”
As you approach the edge, your breathing goes shallow, “Don’t care, just need you to claim me. I need you to own me-!”
“Fuck-“he draws it out, “I’m gonna make it so you only want Daddy’s dick. None of those little boys at school will be able to compete.”
You whimper and arch your back as your toy happily buzzes away, stimulating you in all the right ways. Your clit throbs and pulses as the toy surrounds it, and your insides tighten around the other toy. 
“I’m so close-“
“That’s good; turn up your toy one more notch.”
“I-I can’t-“
He hums, “A toy that only has two settings? That doesn’t sound right… did you turn it up without permission?”
Your voice trembles, and your legs shake, “Yes, Daddy…”
“Naughty thing,” he tsks, “I’ll allow it this time, but only because we’re both so close-“
Your eyes shut tight as the pleasure overwhelms you. As you approach the end, your legs begin to quiver, and your heart rate is off the charts. Your body tense as your feelings become too much to bear. You needed to cum.
“Daddy, I-I need to cum!” You whimper, “Please let me cum!”
“Ngh-“He grunts, “Cum for Daddy. Squirt your cum all over your cute fingers* 
Your vision goes dark as you cum. Your body seizes, and your toes curl as your back arches off the bed. Your chest heaves, and you hear a low growl from the other end of the phone, “That’s it, that’s it, princess. You sound so pretty when you cum for me.”
“Daddy,” you moan helplessly, “Cum for me too.”
Akagami’s breath grows ragged as he gets closer, “Don’t worry, princess, Daddy isn’t far behind-!”
He lets out a low groan when he cums, and you bite your lip, listening to him. After a few moments, everything grows quiet. 
“I’ll call you again Daddy. Let’s play again soon, okay?”
“Of course, baby. I would love to guide you through another orgasm.”
And with that, you hang up the phone.
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gatorbites-imagines · 2 years ago
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hii can i pretty please request the 141 + the other guys (könig, alejandro, graves, whatever lol) w/ a reader who just kinda repeats the phrases or last could words they say? kinda like a parrot lmao
i'm autistic and it's one of the things i do 💀
Cod Boys
Headcanons
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couldnt think of a gif to add, so heres a tiger.
I have a lot of Echolalia (repeating noises or words you hear) too, so same. I added Horangi too, cuz I love that guy and there isn’t anything about him in the x reader tags.
John Price
Price honestly finds it endearing, he thinks its cute that you repeat things he says, especially if you weren’t British and were to copy his accent. I could imagine him growing so used to it he doesn’t even realize you do it anymore.
He wouldn’t be annoyed by it either as its just part of who you are, and he’s just happy you feel safe letting yourself verbally stim around him. He also finds its fun to know what media you’ve been watching, or if you’ve been paying attention to what he’s said.
Kyle “Gaz” Garrick
Gaz would just find it quirky, he might even find it charming in a way. He knows its not something where you choose who or what you repeat, but he still likes that its him you repeat stuff from.
You both end up walking around and repeating the same things, you because you repeat stuff because that’s just how you are, and Gaz because he’s been around you long along to start to develop the same habit, but only when it comes to you.
Simon “Ghost” Riley
He is also autistic, but where you copy noises or words, he’s the silent staring kind. He doesn’t speak a lot as we know, so he’s a little surprised the first time you repeat what he says, especially when you don’t even seem to realize you’re doing it.
Ghost ends up developing Echolalia as well, but only copies stuff you say or things like animal noises, and only when it’s the two of you alone together as he masks around other people.
John “Soap” MacTavish
Soap loves it when you copy or repeat stuff he says or noises he makes, it finds it cute and special as its something just so you, at least in your group. He would never look down on you for it either, as its not something you can really control.
He has tried to make you repeat the dumbest stuff and there’s no stopping him, and if he succeeds, he just starts snickering. Soap laughing is what makes you realize you must have said something funny, which only makes him laugh even more.
Alejandro Vargas
Alejandro starts calling you bird or parrot as a nickname, especially if you are the type to copy animal noises. He finds it funny when you mimic Spanish words if you aren’t a native Spanish speaker.
He’s honestly impressed with how well you can say stuff in Spanish if it isn’t a language you speak. It just becomes a thing he finds comfort in, since it means your there, alive, and well. So if you were to go quiet for longer periods of time, he might worry a bit.
Rodolfo “Rudy” Parra
Rudy doesn’t speak as much as everyone else, so he finds it a little endearing that you repeat the stuff he says as it means you were at least subconsciously paying attention to him and what he said.
I could imagine Rudy liking to just sit together in mostly silence, so when he does speak there’s pretty much a 100% chance you’ll mimic whatever he said, which he finds nice as it helps him feel some kind of normalcy, since you are there with him.
Phillip Graves
He would think you were mocking him in the beginning, until he realizes it’s something you do with everybody and you might not even realize you are doing it unless someone points it out. He never says anything about it, since its just part of who you are.
Graves will rip someone a new asshole if they were rude to you about it though, he may be an ass to most people, but you are one of his so he watches out for you. He doesn’t show it but he cares, in his own way.
König
König doesn’t speak a whole lot outside of missions, so you’d most likely copy him during missions or similar. This ends up with you two repeating copy over and over, over the comms. It becomes almost a little game, which helps put you both at ease during stressful times.
If you copy his German hed find is sweet, as it helps him feel a little more at ease since he’s most likely far away from his home country. So even if you don’t speak German, it helps him come out of his shell a little.
Kim "Horangi" Hong-Jin
Horangi would think you were making fun or him or mocking him, but seeing as you just do it as regularly as you do and don’t realize he doesn’t pick a fight like he might have, if anybody else did it.
He ends up growing to like that you do it, and he will throw hands with anyone who tries to make you uncomfortable about it or insults you for it. He starts speaking more Korean around you, just wanting you to repeat words in his mother tongue even if you don’t understand it.
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cherryblossombankai · 5 days ago
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Word Count: 1.1k Warnings: angst, seriously it's just angst, alcohol, mentions of anxiety and trauma, sort of implied toxic relationship, breakup, sad, depression, jealousy A/N: I'm so sorry for this :) Tag List: @pixelcafe-network, @actuallysaiyan, @helloiamadrawer, @satorustar, @sweet-chocolate-sweet
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You knew deep down that breaking up had been for the best, or at least you’d believed Aizawa when he said it was for the best. Aizawa was still trying to overcome his trauma, and you're no walk in the park to live with either. Stubborn and moody on the best of days, paralyzed with anxiety on the worst of days. You knew it took him some patience at times to navigate life with you, but he wasn’t a walk in the park either. You thought you were each other’s person until he asked for space. You gave it in hopes he would eventually realize that he needs you.
It had helped you along the healing process when you believed he was as miserable as you. You took comfort in the image of him curled up in bed, mourning the scent of your perfume fading from the pillow. At the very least, it made you feel less pathetic for still sleeping in his shirt every night and refusing to wash it because he'd no longer be lingering in the stitches. 
You were fine, truly. Most days you only cried a couple of times, and you hardly ever typed up a text you'd never send anymore. At least not when you're sober. The things you’d never sent while knee-deep in a bottle of wine, well that’s a different story. It ranged from “I miss you so bad” to “Why don’t you love me anymore?” but you never sent them, and that’s what matters. 
 "I'm on the path to healing. thank you very much,” you'd bragged to your friends over dinner. You meant it! Things were really starting to fall into place. 
Until it wasn’t anymore. 
All it took was one event to have your healing facade crashing down faster than you built it up. He didn't even like selfies, that's what he told you over and over. He would scoff and cover his face every time you tried to lean in to catch a snap of the two OF you together. More than once he went on a half-hearted rant about ‘living in the moment’ instead of stopping to photograph everything. You only have a handful of photos to prove that you didn't hallucinate a five-year relationship. 
Yet there he is on your timeline, snuggled up to a pretty girl who called him ‘baby' in the caption. His arm is wrapped around her. He's leaning in...He's smiling. 
Fuck, you love his smile. It was such a rare sight when he belonged to you. You wonder what this girl has that you didn’t.
Later that night, you and your roommate split a bottle of wine. 
"I hope he thinks of me when he fucks her," you ranted to your roommate. 
You were pacing the living room like a caged tiger. A caged, drunk tiger anyway. You were angry. How could he? What right does he have to be happy when you still whisper his name when you make yourself cum?
"I'm going to call him!" 
Your roommate thankfully finds your phone before you do. She swipes it OFF the coffee table while you're digging around in your pockets.
"Nope, that is a horrible idea," she says.
"Why? Don't I deserve answers? Closure?" you sit beside her on the couch. Your puppy eyes were almost enough for her to change her mind, but she didn't. 
"Of course you do, but not like this."
After your ranting and raving becomes sleepy, your roommate — No...your hero — tucks you into bed. She covers you up with a soft blanket and pushes your hair off your face. 
"Do you think he misses me?" you whine. "I want him to miss me.”  
"He'd be stupid not to miss you,” she says, too kind to break your delusions for now, “Get some sleep."
~
It felt like your heart was ripped out. Seeing a stupid selfie was one thing. Being face-to-face with the happy couple in the produce section of your favorite grocery store is another rotten thing entirely. Aizawa doesn't even live in this neighborhood. You can’t fathom why he’d decide to date someone from the same neighborhood as you. 
You're frozen to the spot. Your nails dug into the fragile flesh of the peach you were testing for ripeness moments before your worst nightmare came true. Aizawa doesn't notice you but, to your surprise, she does. Her smile falters and she quickly looks away as if making eye contact with you was painful for her. It was odd to see. You want to look away too, but seeing them is like watching a car crash. No matter how badly you want to look away, you just can’t.
"Oh, hello," Aizawa says when you finally shift into his line of sight.
"Hi," you fake a smile. You were hoping maybe you’d be able to seem genuinely unphased. 
It’s hard to be unphased when he doesn't have to fake a smile. His smile is real and you know she’s the reason for it. 
You clear your throat, "How are you?" 
"I'm good. Uh, this is my girlfriend, Ami."
"Nice to meet you." you lie for the sake of friendliness but refuse to shake hands. 
"I've heard so much about you." Ami says. "About your hero work, of course!"
“Right, of course. Thanks."
“We should get going, babe," he says and places his hand on her back. 
Babe? When did he become a guy who said something like 'babe'. It makes your stomach turn as you walk away. You used to make fun of people who said ‘babe’ together. 
"Why was I not enough for you?" you text him that night. Your eyes are so blurry with tears that you don't even think you could read his response. Not that he will ever respond, you figure. 
You roll onto you side, letting the tears flow from your eyes into the pillow. You clutch on tightly to the fluffy teddy bear he’d bought you for the last birthday you’d spent together.
"Don't do this," he texts back
.You drop your phone onto the bed, and you bury your face against your teddy bear. The muffled scream you let out is full of pain. You still love him. You know you shouldn't, but you want him back. You can taste him on your lips still. 
“Why? Because it's not on your time? Because you're not in control?" you text back.
"No! Because you're being emotional again.” 
“Again? God forbid I have feelings.” 
Aizawa was always so controlled. It was infuriating to know that no matter what you say you will never get under his skin the way you want to. He doesn’t respond for the longest time, and you decide to try once again to get to him. 
“Of course I'm emotional. I fucking love you."
When he doesn't respond, you get the message. There's nothing else to say. He's over you, or he wants to be. All you can do is pick up the pieces.
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parrythisucasual · 1 year ago
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no pressure ofc but may i request a jax x reader where the reader is basically a ball jointed doll with some of the parts made of a soft playdoh material that can be shaped? i have no idea if that makes sense lmao. if not feel free to just do a normal bjd! as for story specifics ive been on a hurt/comfort kick tonight so maybe reader has joint pain or smth?
feel free to put your own spin on things! ive loved basically everything ive seen of yours in the jax x reader tag so im sure itll be great.
OKAY I WENT A BIT OVERBOARD AND I ACTUALLY HAD TO CUT IT SHORT DUE TO GOING TO A PARTY. I LOVED WRITING THIS STORY AND IM MORE THAN WILLING TO DO A PART 2 TO END IT A BIT MORE SATIFINGLY
HOPE YOU ENJOY, ANON!!!!
Jax x Doll! Reader
You were tossing and turning in your bed. No matter how you lay, your joint always managed to get caught on your sheets or blankets. It doesn't seem bad, in theory, but it was terribly painful. You finally settle in a spot, sighing happily. 
“SH(boing)T!” you yelp, jerking so hard you nearly fall out of bed. Your knee had pinched the blanket. You throw the sheets off, tears of anger (and probably pain) pricking the corners of your eyes. You swing your legs off the side of the bed, deciding to go for a mid-sleep walk. You’d say midnight, but there isn’t exactly a night here.
Trudging from your room, you walk up the halls. Your joints, your annoying burdens, click with each step. You feel a pang of jealousy; the others in the circus didn’t have any problems with their new bodies. If you really had to be a doll, why couldn’t have you been a plush one, like Ragatha? Instead, you’re stuck with stupid ball joints and silicone. It sucks.
As you pass by his room, you find you’re not alone in your restlessness. The sound is faint, but you can hear the floor creaking in Jax’s room. You pause outside his door, wondering what he could possibly be up to. 
The creaking passes from left to right as if he was simply walking back and forth in his room. As if he was pacing. You frown, debating whether or not you should knock. Maybe something was bothering him?
You shake your head, turning away. Jax wouldn’t talk to you, what are you thinking? You’d ask him if hes okay and he’d gaslight you into thinking he’d been asleep, into thinking you’d interrupted his night. He wasn’t the kind of guy to admit to his problems, not the type to care about yours.
You start up the hall once more, mind settling on the digital lake. At very least you could relax to the Lake_Ambiance.mp3 and watch the digital water move.
Crack
You let out a sharp yell, falling to the ground. Your knee had locked up, twisting at just the right angle the joint wouldn’t move anymore. God, it felt just like a sprained ankle. You hiss, gripping your knee in your hands. The tears really do come now, rolling down your cheeks in an oddly realistic fashion for this digital realm. Well, at least your night couldn’t get any worse.
“What, you forgot how to walk or something?” Dear god, it got worse. You glance behind you, the familiar smug grin staring you in the face. Jax’s confidence falters, very plainly, when he sees your tears. He raised a brow, “Oh, come on, you just fell. Are the waterworks really necessary?”
You try to stretch your knee out, yelping when it doesn’t budge, “It’s not just a fall you ignorant little- AUGH!” you give up trying to move your leg, resolving to simply lean back, giving yourself room to breathe.
Jax trots over, bending down and inspecting your knee, “How’d you manage this?” he reaches out and your stomach drops, “No, don’t!” He freezes, the surprise plain on his face, “Why not? I can snap it back into place easy as-”
“You stupid rabbit, it hurts!” you practically wail. He sits back, “Don’t be stupid, (Y/N), we’re digital now. Can’t get hurt. Can’t die.”
You turn your face away from him, growling slightly, “Clearly, I’m different. Not like you’d care, right? Too busy shoving your head up your own a(honk).” Jax doesn’t react to this, much to your surprise. Instead, he silently stands up, walking up the hall, one hand on his hip.
“Wait, where are you going? Jax?” you regret what you said immediately, you really didn’t want to be alone with this right now. “You won’t let me help you, I’m going to find Caine.”
“You’re… huh?” you blink, confused. Jax shrugs, “If it hurts that bad, why would I leave you like that?” You aren’t sure whether or not he really was going to find Caine, but with the lack of arrogance about him, you decide to trust him, “Alright… thank you.”
He doesn’t respond, merely gives a dorky salute as he rounds the corner. As the minutes pass, you begin to wonder whether or not you should have believed him. Just as you were about to give up hope, Caine appeared at the end of the hall, flanked by Jax.
“Oh, dear, oh dear! Would you look at that!” Caine’s annoying grandeur made your head hurt, but you couldn’t have been more relieved. With a simple snap of his fingers, your leg righted itself without pain. “Now then, anything else I can do for you, my dear (Y/N)?” the eccentric ringleader asked. You shake your head, a relieved sigh escaping from your chest.
“Excellent! Well, off to bed with you!” he zipped back into the air, “I was busy, after all.” Caine darted away, leaving you alone with Jax once more. He seemed off, not grinning as he usually did. You’re not sure what to say, until-
“Are you okay now?” he asks, looking anywhere but your face. “Um… yeah, now I am,” you start to sit up, and Jax rushes to your side, grabbing your hand and practically lifting you to your feet himself. “Are… you okay?” you ask, “you’re acting way different.”
Jax finally looks at you, “Why wouldn’t you tell anyone you were in pain? Are you really that thick? Any of us would’ve helped you! Any of us would be there for you!” he snapped, seemingly angry you’d hidden this.
“I… I didn’t want to burden anyone…” you admit, a bit shocked. “Burden us? Are you kidding?” his voice grew louder, making you wince, “you think your health is a burden? You moron, you’re-” he stopped suddenly, noticing your expression.
“I-I’m sorry… I-I…” He sighed, interrupting your shaky apology, “Next time, come to me. Okay? I don’t want to see you get hurt. (Y/N)...” he hesitated, “I just… I really care about you. Please, don’t hesitate to tell me you’re in pain.” He gathered himself, then placed a quick kiss on your forehead before darting into his room with a final, “Night.”
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