#theyre museum friends
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i was out so much yesterday but one of the highlights was one friend group looking at each other and going oh no
oh no are we in a like 6 way relationship hold on
its just one guy and 6-7 girls its so bad we have been friends for SO LONG
lmao ALSO one of my friends was like no she really thinks we all trauma bonded bc one place she worked at, she was there for like 5 years. one of the best jobs she said she ever had
she has NO friends from there. like no one even on facebook
meanwhile we all technically only worked together for like. 2-3 years which ppl overlapping and we still go out
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#sam & max#sam and max#i think about this constantly#he has MASSIVE dogs#which makes sense considering he IS a dog#i play poker night w my friend and everu time sam folds theyre like GET THOSE OFF OF THERE#:]#shoes make him look like a big brown clown.#/ref#[soliloqueue]#[the museum]#[six foot tall canine]#happy ween!#i dont have any more spooky quotes. but it is still ween
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Happy birthday, hope you had a great day!
Thank you so much!! It was really fun. 😁
#saw beautiful pinned bugs at museum with friends :)#theyre still over and we're having cake#met 3/4ths of them (including partner) on tumblr.com at the same time lolll#8 years ago o_o
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I hate my parents "you need to find another job other than a&w why dont you go for an administrative position at [historic site]?" full offence i would rather die than do administrative work i enjoy talking to people and educating them and living history interpretation is a pretty seasonal job up here no matter what site you go to like come on.
#shay speaks#i like customer service and if i end up doing fast food in the off season who gives a shit#it pays more than my 'more respectable' museum job#and we're all hoping we hear back from the family friend in peru about that#bc id do that for 8 months if i could#like october-may and then may-october back in the states#though ik our summer is their winter and theyre definitely still in school so idk. we'll see#anyway. i literally moved back yesterday why am i being pressured to find another job already
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how to not feel a constant and painful sense of FOMO jealousy and envy over everyone and everything ever because i have nothing and get nothing and can do nothing about it
#i want piercings i wanna go to the mall i wanna hang out with friends i want friends i want boba i want things to be easy but theyre hard#i want a clean pretty room i want a brain that isn't broken i want love i want alcohol and drugs and cigarettes#i want everything i get to not get ripped away from me and ruined#i want a childhood i want plushies i want sex i want parties i want to sleep in a clean bed i want help#i want a body that isnt tired and doesnt hurt i want money i want a normal life i dont want bad dreams i want to go places#i wanna go to the arcade and the zoo and aquariums and museums and parks#i want nature i want no more anxiety i want opportunities i want help i want a hand to hold#i dont wanna do it all on my own#i want a way out. i want help#just help me just please help me just please help#your 'positivity' is worthless when its not relatable and ends up being bragging rather than reassuring#i wanna go to concerts i want to go on a plane i want streaming services and trains and clothes shopping#ive had nothing and no one understands the extent of it#i feel like im in purgatory or some kind of psychological hell#i wanna kill myself#i want someone to care
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what is your fav furry art out there
eh i kinda take inspos from lotsa diffrent places, and i havent gotten many faves, unless you count my friends like prrplefungi or tomatomagica or lunasn0wfall here on tumblr! Unless you're wondering what kind of artist inspired me, i learned a lot from the anatomy and intesting furry babes artworks of MadeOfEyebrows on twitter! the guy makes some pretty cool fantasy arts with great anatomy that inspired me a lot! But again, i mostly keep to myself
#i dont have many particular artists i love out there#i mostly keep to myself#i love my artist friends tho!#theyre tha best#My artist routine does not have much room to look at other artists on social media#i mostly go to museums!#i dont much get involved with other artists
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:-) things are getting better september truly is a month of new beginnings
#yesterday i went out to the grocery store late at night and bought so much yogurt i think that was my turning point i am forever changed#and today i went to the mall with my mom and bought myself a pair of sunglasses that i really wanted for so long#and the guy that works there recognized me 😭😭😭😭#i went there before to buy my cousin a graduation gift and honestly i came back bc i wanted the same ones i got for her they’re so cool#anyway the staff recognized me and gave me a special discount bc im a ‘regular’ even tho this is only my second time buying from them 🥹🥹#that was so nice of him bc if it wasnt for that dicount i probably wouldnt have bought the sunglasses bc theyre a bit pricey for my budget#anyway i got them 🥹 so im feeling a bit better#also! i bought myself a little rice cooker for one serving so i don’t starve and stop ordering so much food that i don’t have money for#i think this month is spending on myself month#and tomorrow im going out to celebrate my friend’s birthday 🥰🥰 we’re going to a bakery then to a museum and im bringing my camera with me <3#recently i’ve fixed my 10 year old camera and its so perfect i love it so much i found a manual online and im gonna learn how to properly#use all the effects and settings it has#i bought it with my mom in 2013 and honestly we picked the best design ever it looks so coooool god i love my little camera im taking it#everywhere with me 🥹💛💛#anyway .. the last episode of uncanny counter 2 aired today 🥲🥲🥲 im gonna make myself some rice in my new rice cooker and watch it 🫶#then i’ll take a warm shower and finish off my friends bday gift#im making them a crochet cat keychain i hope it comes out well#alsoooo LETTERS WITH NOTES OUT TOMORROW im soooo excited i love you september#anyway i came here to talk about my week bc it was nice :-) i hope everyone’s september is going well too <3
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trying to figure out the logistics of how dan and yaz would like.. hang out if they live like 2 hours apart from each other
#theyre besties now so they would do friend stuff together i think#but unless dan like... moved to sheffield it honestly wouldnt be possible#and i have a grand idea that he gets a proper job at the museum too#so that would keep him in liverpool#and honestly if yaz gets a job at unit she would probably move to london#which is WORSE#????????? how am i supposed to write fanfiction when the logistics dont make sense#i just want everyone to hang out at all times#gonna make an AU where geography just doesnt exist#also if theyre all going to keep in touch with the companions from the support group like#that just adds to it all#the uk isnt that big how do you all live so far away from each other#anyways#eli dont look at this
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museums are so underrated like what the heck this is the most magical stimulation ever
#animal noises are so fun#im at the natural history museum in my area but i really want to go to the art one next door#i should have a friend date with someone and go#but like#museum#i love them sm#theyre so ooooo ahhh#like ive been here a million times but idc its so fun and pretty
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SO THERE'S THIS GREY WARDEN NAMED ALISTAIR...........
#he's growing on me in such a bizarre wat#*way#he gave me frat boy energy at first so i wasn't interested but after the big fight he sort of turned into a wet sad dog#and THAT i like lmao#also the way morrigan is constantly belittling him is so funny to me#but the part that Got Me was when morrigan was like ''arent YOU the senior grey warden? why are we following someone new''#and he was like ''what do you want me to say? that i prefer to follow? because i do.''#that paired with the bow paired with the templar manners paired with the changed by grief motif was an arrow straight thru me#i still prefer cullen. cullen was whipped in ways alistair is not (at least not yet)#and i also havent met zevran yet and i anticipate i will like him (his type of character can be a toss up tho)#but i can't romance cullen in this game so i will settle for alistair! i hope he gets even more desperate :)#kicking my feet cheerfully i love a man that is so in love he makes a fool of himself#im also AT WORK. AND UNABLE TO KEEP PLAYINH#but the good news is i have 6 (SIX) DAYS OFF SOON IN A ROWWWWWW and thats NOT including the holidays#IM SO EXCITEDDDD i havent had that many days off in a row literally 3 years#im thinking about doing something Different. like last time i had 4 days off in a row i went to the movies by myself#(scary at first but i LOVE it now)#so now i might go to a museum alone? maybe? if i can find a cool one that isnt stupidly far away#and maybe......maybe i might try eating alone at a restaurant#that makes me want to kms though so maybe im not ready for that LMFAO#anyway. i cant believe i didnt play dragon age until just now i am so obssessed#EDIT: I MIGHT BE ABLE TO STOMACH GETTING SUSHI BY MYSELF?? OMG#PLANS MADE.#i want to learn how to eat alone at places people typically go with groups soooo badly#because i dont have a group!! i have friends i could ask but theyre usually busy#and as much as i love them i am still Performing around them and thats not what i want#i want to try new things withiut having to perform in public#and maybe if i learn how to do THAT i can learn how to relax when i AM with other people#plans made. omg
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Ok turned in my port assignment. I'm abt an hour late on the submission but I'm going to hope she just doesn't care + I apologized in my email soooooo I think we're good. She's going through it atm anyways so I'm hoping the flexibility goes both ways and whatnot. That said I did ask for a 1 day extension on the last writing assgmt too back in early November so she could be justified in taking off points but like why would she pleaseeee Rachel nooooo. I did write my email in English though so maybe I need to die for that idk
I guess we'll see but it'll be fine. Besides we had a quiz earlier, the writing activity due tonight and an exam Friday just in this class like I think we can let 50 minutes slide here
#name changed obvi but yeah#planned a fake vacation and now im jealous i dont get to take it#what do you meannnn i dont get to go to brazil w my best friend and go to a bunch of cool museums and restaurants and learn abt brazilian#history and afro brazilian culture 😭#b- but i googled the flights and the hotel and planned out all the destinations 😭😭😭😭#rip but yay thats done#also the new dcu starts today im SOOOOOOOOO excited#just checked to see if the new episodes would be out yet bc its 1am but they dont release until 3 bc of the west coast (ewwwww be better)#and im not staying up for that sorry#i would but i have a 10am and theyre like 20 mins episodes i can just do it after class bc tmrw is my short day#also prof patel (NOT her name but im putting her in the patel cartel here for shits and gigs) STILL has not graded any of our essays in my#science class lol. GIRL ITS DECEMBER IVE WRITTEN THOUSANDS OF WORDS FOR YOU#she just put out a bitchy canvas announcement abt it too telling ppl to stop emailing her abt it lol#shes such a hater but sometimes you have to respect it tbh. the grading thing is killing me though. its her fault for making like 4 longass#writing assignments (w sources required) in a lecture hall class but like. i could be failing and couldnt even know#i mean im not bc youd think id know from my work but yeahh#if we get into the start of next week and nothings still graded im going to take a screenshot w the date to lodge a protest if she bombs me#last minute (bc i too can be bitchy ive decided) but idt that will be necessary at all bc i put the effort in
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i wonder how talented people find multiple, actual supportive friends. seems like ive been missing that all my life because so far i only know one (two if i count a moot from here)
ive been praised for my writing but it still feels extremely hollow because. like. now what? i look cool cause i can do amazing naturally, but no one even cared to tag along. in fact, the people that did wanted to rip a part of me out for their keeping
#i dont really care for the moots i dont interact with closely - theyre cool#and the moot that has been responding to some of my vent posts and reading through them…. 🫂#but it feels like im still being let down by so many other people like im far down the priority list from them than i expected and tried to#connect with them to fulfill that#like damn. i guess thats what i am now huh. a goddamn mosaic in your museum you call a friends list#so far tumblr has been pretty swell though even if im not active and mostly get most of my interactions on disc#maybe i should really consider deleting discord now. so i stop thinking about being so close with someone and getting pissy when im not#cataclysmic ranting
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its so weird meeting someone who works in my dream field (archaeology and museum studies) and realising they are the most boring mf ive ever met with the worst views ever
#i normally love archaeologists bc theyre liberal and cool and not weird about the gender thing at all#meanwhike this man is using his museum job to promote a specific religion and also#the thing that annoyed me most was i was trying to enjoy dionysus' toes (not in a freaky way i just live marble toenails) and mf kept talkin#and i had to pretend to be interested meanwhile im internally trying ti figure out how they made his sandals look so realistic#and he did not get the hint#and i fucking love cast galleries so much but i had to flee to the natural history wing to escape being infodumped on by a rando#anyway im never talking to anyone in a museum ever again#the last time this happened i got in a heated debate over whether man or god invented labradoodles so clearly#museums are not the pkace for me to make friends#cool things happen to me ig but this was not one of them
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Being the one friend who only has one friend group sucks a lot actually
#talk#noones available to hang out bc theyre hanging out with their other friends meanwhile there is Me#im going out alone idgaf#ill go to the museum and the library#and then ill treat myself to some good food#idc im crazy im craaazyyyyy
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Oh right I just remembered the dream I had last night
#my posts#my dreams#will post in tags as long as it fits i guess bc its kinda long and i may get personal lmao anyeays!#it started with me being with two girls i was friends with during elementary school. i havent seen them basically since then#one of them looked older bc due to reasons i searched for her online just to see how she was doing.#in the dream her eyes were changing. contacts apparently. something tells me she told me about her wanting them when we were younger#i cant tell if thats real life info or dream info. the other looks as i remember her.by the time school ended i was closer to this last girl#in fact i was angry at the other one so yeah i wasn't close with her anymore. so in the dream i ended up falling asleep kinda cuddled#with the last girl. i know before this i talked with both of them. separately. but i didbt remember what about h#when i woke up*#then i 'woke up' in the dream. i was now in an old building. it was an apartment complex vut it makes me think of museums and stuff#bc of the size and architecture. and looking out the window it was like a park or a zoo of sorts#i talk with the last girl whos still there. i cant remember how she looked at this point in the dream. we were talking about cats#i was thinking about mine and how theyre gone. she mentions hers (which she never had irl) and i go out the window? kinda in the park?#searching for. the cats. and something else. jumping on what would separate zoo or park areast as if they were vines#... while wearing only underwear and a tshirt#by the end i know some people see me but i go on in my desperate search until i land face down on the floor and laugh and cry hysterically#and i woke up lmao#kinda cathartic feeling but stupid#but I've been feeling bad so I'm not surprised#also i feel i dream about animals kinda when stressed#and also the ex friends too it has happened lmao#and while being in underwear or naked in dreams is kinda normal im sure its bc i was like that before sleeping and looked at myself#in the mirror while in a mood and ended up like :/ lmao anyways thats it im gonna try to sleep i think
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#personal#you know that feeling when theres just a hole in your chest#and a pit in your stomach#im scrabbling at the edge of a cliff and i have weights on my ankles#all the coping mechanisms and therapy wont help you#if youre actively seperated from those that make you feel at peace#and theres not any easy solutions#i cant just move back#i cant just make friends here#ive been trying that for 3 years and the one i did make doesnt talk to me any more#thats a lie i have some friends#but when theyre retirees who all have other priorites#its hard to get together to do stuff#they dont want to just go to the museum or the botanic gardens#and i could go by myself#but when thats all ive done for ages#you want to share your life with people#you want to share your joy and good times#honestly id love to dress up and go to see the orchestra#but going by myself doesnt have that same appeal#i dont go out anymore#i dont talk to anyone#i just curl up and try and stave the loneliness off with video games books and cross stitch#it isnt working#it hasnt worked for a long time
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