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fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy · 3 years ago

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Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

#tales of arcadia #rise of the titans #trollhunters #rott #rise of the titans spoilers #rott spoilers #toa #3 below #athena's own original post!#jim lake jr #claire nuñez #toby domzalski

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suddenly-i-kin-oikawa · 4 years ago

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Y/n Haikyuu Chronicles

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Childhood Friends AU ♥

Kids (3-10)~

You’ve lived next to each other for as long as you two can remember

Although he’s about 3 months older, you’ve always been close

You’re the one who got him into dinosaurs, btw. He didn’t want to watch Jurassic Park with you, but he’s always been a bit weak for you, lmao.

He had to physically pull you off of Yamaguchi’s bully’s and to this day you are proud as hell of it.

When you guys have a sleep over, he always says he hates cuddling and goes to sleep with his back to you, but always ends up waking up wrapped around you anyway

For like a year and a half you were taller than him, but then this asshole got his growth spurt

He’s so soft, omg, he always remembers your favorite snacks so he can get you them

He saves you spots next to him

Holds your hand so “You don’t get lost like the idiot you are”

(Super easy to fluster at this age btw, especially when he’s called cute)

Tweens (11-13)~

This is when you guys first started getting teased for being friends

You offered to only hang out with him after school because you knew he hated the attention

He rejected that idea and called you an idiot

Not too long after that is when he started snipping at everyone, to your great amusement

(”Aw, look, it’s Kishi and n/n, are you guys going on a date?”) (”Oh, look, it’s the kid that said he could date anyone he wanted then started crying when he got rejected.”) (”Oh my gosh, Kishi no.”)

Eventually everyone just left you two alone, though it didn’t stop some kids for forming a betting pool about your relationship

This mf sprouted like a god damned tree, you are unable to count just how many times he’s rested his arm on your head or looked down at you smirking.

You fix that though with a good elbow to his side when he gets cocky, the bastard.

Whatever, enough about his growth. You got taller as well, just nowhere near him. Your more feminine aspects starting coming in as well, which got you some attention from boys before Kishi scared them off.

This time is also when you two started volleyball. You as the boy’s manager and sometimes practicing with the girls and Tsukishima bragging to you about his big brother who played for Karasuno High.

You remembered your friend mentioning that he’s never been to one of his brothers’ games before, so you decided to get two tickets so you could surprise him!

That was the first time Kishi’s ever ignored you for that long.

It was the last day of school when he showed up at your house with your favorite snacks, drinks, your favorite (of his) dino plush, and a playlist.

You called it your Kishi Care Kit, he called you a nuisance

He spent the summer making it up to you

Teens(14-18)~

He did not want you to become manager of the team, at all. That’s probably the closest he’s ever come to begging

You still did it though, lmao

In your defense, you maybe kinda was still scared he’d leave you like he did in middle school again.

Anyway! This was also a good way of making new friends! Once you, Kishi, and Yama clicked, you never really bothered the make other friends.

This might also be your potential abandonment issues talking, but we’re not gonna go into that

However, no matter how many Kishi said you could do what you wanted, he found himself getting possessive.

Walking up to you and yanking you away from whoever was talking to you

Standing ominously behind you until the other person left

Verbally ripping apart the others person, you name it

Him being your childhood best friend, you might have ignored for a couple months but eventually you got tired of his hot and cold act and you two clashed

While you two were going back and forth, he said something he shouldn’t have and hurt you. You knew sometimes he was blunt, and borderline mean, but never to you. It hit harder then you thought it would.

You left before he could say anymore. He hurt you in middle school, and he did it again a year later. You should have left after the first time to save yourself the heart ache.

Throughout the entirety of your guys lives, you’ve always been the one to go to him after a fight. Not that you were wrong all the time, but you know your best friend. He probably one of the worse people to ever fight with because he doesn’t apologize.

Even after he ignored you for months on end and gave you those gifts, the words sorry never left his mouth.

You’ve always gone back to him, because he knew you would understand his short comings when it came the that flaw of his.

You’re not sure if you want to understand anymore

Almost three months later and countless awkward practices, he knocked on your window a little past 3 in the morning

You let him in, and you two are sitting across from each other. He’s staring at you while you hug Rex (the plush he gave you) and look anywhere but him.

15 minutes are silence goes by before he says anything.

“I’m so sorry, n/n.”

You hadn’t heard your nickname since before 7th grade

He apologized to you for multiples things

What happened in middle school, acting like he didn’t care, ruining your chances at making friends multiple times, what he said to you during that fight. It all comes rushing out and all you can do is stare at him because he’s rambling and his voice his cracking and are those tears?

You don’t bother trying to stop yourselves from hugging him.

Once he’s calms, you ask him why

Why did you leave me?

Why did you ignore me?

Why did you hurt me?

He explained everything, not leaving a single detail out. And then it was quiet again.

“I love you.”

“You do?”

“How could I not?”

Time-skip~

You two dated throughout high school, collage, and are still going strong

Of course, you’ve had your ups and downs, but you pulled through.

Your both busy with your respective careers, or the beginnings of one, but you always make time for each other.

You always sleep in his arms at the end of the day, you book tours at his museum specifically asking for him, and make it to as many of his games as you can. He also makes sure to wake you up with breakfast every morning with a kiss, eat lunch with you when your breaks sink up, and give you gifts

Just to remind you

It was when he blocked his rival scoring the winning point when he told you to look under your seat at the end of the game

You, confused, did so, embarrassed he was doing this on live television

Then you saw it.

And you had never said yes so fast.

@alto-march-of-death .... Im back 👉👈 WITH A GIFT I hope it’s not too bad, I wanted to surprise you so I couldn’t really ask for you opinion. I have been working on this for A WHILE and I’m so glad it’s done

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sakuatsu · 4 years ago

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YELL 2 ME ABT SAKUATSU FIC RECS PLS

oh boy. oh boy do i have much to talk about

here’s a list of my sakuatsu must-reads under the cut! complete with links, word count, ratings, and occasional commentary because i’m incapable of shutting up. this isn’t in any particular order either

(keeping this sfw and organized into canonverse/AUs. a * means i am on my hands and knees begging for you to read this)

i’ll try to update this somewhat regularly :]

most recently updated august 25, 2020!

canonverse:

*your highs and lows (series) by astroeulogy

a post-time skip canonverse series born from these two questions:

1. what if sakusa kiyoomi, known too-blunt jerk, is equally straightforward about his soft, tender feelings?

2. what if miya atsumu, resident big fat jerk who doesn't care if his teammates hate him, is too emotionally stunted to notice when his one of his teammates actually likes him?

this is like the sakuatsu series but it’s blasphemous to not recommend. the first fic in the series is all that you were (4.6k, T). mind the ratings on a few of the fics, but my personal favorite is #3: a masterpiece of domesticity called you have tamed me (5.7k, T). these make me ACHE

*sakuatsu domesticity simulator by pseudoanalytics (T)

a vaguely interactive mixture of fic, art, and html, where you too can experience the inherent romance of a big fat jerk and a too-blunt jerk attempting intimacy

this fic...this fic...op is literally one of my favorite artists of all time but Did You Know that their writing is also off the charts. what a wonderful use of second person and the pacing is so good. too much skill in one person

*The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets by isaksara (11.4k, M)

Sakusa’s eyes are very dark naturally, sucking in all surrounding rays of light and crushing them in his pupils. For an athlete, he is rather pale. His lips look very pink in comparison. Atsumu is suddenly catastrophically aware that in this instance, ‘accent’ is a euphemism. “Good enough for your Olympic-size ego, Miya?”

(In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.)

i think this is the fic that got me into sakuatsu in the first place lol i was looking very specifically for msby socmed fics and now here we are. this fic is unbelievably funny

*liminal spaces by hhatsuna (25.9k, T)

Fuck you, Atsumu thinks, pointing at the pixelated Sakusa in the grainy team photo on his bedside table.

It’s easier than you’d think to ignore loving your teammate.

*Better For Us Both by abrandnewheart (15.7k, M)

Where “You already make me the happiest guy alive, babe," gives way to, “I’ve not been happy for a while now.”

Alternatively known as the ‘mug fic’.

yes this is a breakup fic. yes im going to recommend it anyway. breakup fics usually scare me a lot but this one is too good for me to not say anything about. nuanced and delicious. i look at the mug on my desk and feel pain

dog eat dog eat dog world by perennials (8.4k, T)

You are your first and only line of defense against the universe.

Koi no Yokan; 恋の予感 by ymra (15.3k, unrated)

Wherein Sakusa dreams of his future selves and discovers a little something along the way.

autumn ends, but we remain by wolfsbvne (5.3k, T)

atsumu stares at his ceiling at 2am. he stares until he can make out designs in his popcorn ceiling. a cat there, an onigiri here, and then something that suspiciously looks like a mop of hair, triangle eyebrows, and oh those two bumps are moles right above what atsumu just mapped out as an eye.

(or, atsumu is in kind of in love. sakusa is maybe in like.)

your fingertips, branding irons by Ceryna (5.8k, T)

Between the accidental touches he's reconciled, the deliberate ones he's endured, and, from those he's built years of trust with, obliged– Kiyoomi has never wanted to let someone indulge.

Never, until Atsumu.

take what’s yours and make it mine by claudusdiei (5.9k, T)

atsumu falls in love four times in his life

(or: in which atsumu gets his heart broken twice, has the self-awareness of a sober mule and really likes yellow tulips)

every action has an equal and opposite reaction by akanemnida (10.4k, T)

Miya Atsumu gets a modeling contract with Calvin Klein, which sets Kiyoomi's heart in motion.

(Or: Sakusa Kiyoomi realizes that the rules governing the universe are absolute rubbish at explaining matters of the heart.)

*where i want to be by tookumade (8.8k, G)

In the time they’ve been teammates at the MSBY Black Jackals, Sakusa has never been to Atsumu’s place, and Atsumu has only been to Sakusa’s a few times. There’s an unspoken understanding here: that Atsumu knows him well enough to know that nobody’s house or apartment would ever really meet his ridiculously high standards, and he is most comfortable in the home he’s made for himself.

That, and, Atsumu being over at Sakusa’s means that he has to host him and do the cleaning afterwards, while Atsumu can just flit off back to his own place. So. There’s that.

Tonight. Tonight is not business as usual. Tonight is not familiar.

*san'yō expressway, 6:17 pm by yamabato (8.1k, T)

Atsumu tilts his head to watch a slice of orange light bend over the impassive planes of Sakusa’s face. He is absolutely, ruthlessly beautiful. It makes Atsumu want to punch something—put his foot through the windshield—scream, maybe.

Kiss him again, maybe.

They have 344 kilometers to figure this one out.

parallax error: angle of inclination by min_mintobe (10.8k, T)

But now there's the one person Atsumu'd promised himself never to touch. His eyes leave Atsumu breathless with guilt at seventeen, and he spends the next six years safe in the satisfaction of making things right.

Feelings, of the physical kind, and one kiss.

ft. competitive spirit, childishness, and late night conversations.

Atsumu POV.

four leaf clover by vicari_us (5.9k, T)

Once, Ushijima claimed that they ‘got lucky’. If properly honed, their body types could become near invincible weapons.

However, unlike Ushijima, Kiyoomi’s weapon required a bit more care over the years to reach the condition it had become. He was born iron, not yet forged into steel.

Exploring what it might have taken to turn a genetic mistake into an athletic miracle.

*the 28 postcards you left me by wheelspokes (8.3k, T)

Atsumu takes texting your ex to a new level by sending Sakusa postcards in Animal Crossing instead.

such a unique premise & this is so beautifully structured. stunning flow and who knew animal crossing could convey so much longing...

AUs:

Pas De Deux by hhatsuna (dancer!sakusa au: 19.0k, T)

The mystery athlete gives Kiyoomi a once over in the mirror. “Yer pretty tall,” he observes, and the twang of an accent rasps low in his throat. His brazen eyes drift to Kiyoomi’s legs, and something like exhilaration glints gold in his gaze. “Good quads, too. Ya ever played volleyball?” Ah. So it’s volleyball.

“I’m a dancer. Ballet and contemporary, mostly.”

*my love, take your time by bastigod (archaeologist!sakusa au: 9.0k, T)

There was something sublime about wandering around an empty museum. Nothing could compare to the sound of his shoes clacking against the marble floor, the morning sunlight gently streaming through the lofty windows and the peaceful solitude of ancient stone kings overseeing their silent kingdoms.

A day in the life of Doctor Kiyoomi Sakusa, Archaeologist.

i’ve literally been thinking about this fic every day since it came out. you will not find a story like this anywhere else, i guarantee you. what a clear labor of love this fic is it’s truly something so special

three roses and a smile by strawberrycitrus (surgeon!sakusa & microbiologist!atsumu au: 19.7k, T)

“I just got this job, I’m not givin’ it up for some moral boost ‘cause I actually need to pay my rent, ya insensitive -” Atsumu waves his hands around, trying and failing to come up with the right word to convey the amount of injustice that this gaunt motherfucker has brought into his relatively simple life thus far.

“If you can’t pay your rent, go get a job at the McDonald’s over by 8th Street,” Sakusa growls, “it’ll pay more than your researcher position.”

If you even attempt assault on a coworker, forget teaching about cells - you’ll fucking be in one, Atsumu.

*Dance of the Parallax by astroeulogy (ogre spirit!sakusa au: 6.7k, T)

For the last twenty years, Atsumu’s done all that he can to break his betrothal to the ogre spirit Sakusa. If he can just make it through one more night, he’ll be free.

honestly, just read everything by astroeulogy. i’m recommending this fic in particular because it has such an ethereal voice to it. magical

across oceans, across centuries by starstrikes (pacific rim au: 20.0k, T)

Six days ago, Osamu died and left Atsumu with this: Atsumu, you have to—

(Namikira rises with the tides and rips Osamu and Vulpis Empress away in one fell swoop. Six days later, Atsumu wakes up alone in a hospital bed and learns how to swim.)

you don’t actually need to know pacrim to appreciate this. a wonderful exploration of grief and recovery. also it’s exactly 20k words which is both satisfying and terrifying

*Notte Stellata by awkwardedgeworth (ice skating/dancing au: 20.8k, T)

"Your partner doesn't need to hold anyone's hand other than yours," Sakusa's father crouches, "And you can wear gloves."

Sakusa ponders. He hears the other skaters of rink two whiz past as they launch themselves into lifts.

"Alright," He looks up from the ice, not knowing how he'll dedicate the next couple of decades to this sport, this partnership, this boy.

what a stunning fic. a beautiful progression of sakusa & atsumu’s relationship, rife with references to real skating programs, beautifully written and structured. so full of longing i’m in mild physical pain

#if anyone else has recs feel free to drop them in the replies mwah #sakuatsu fic is SO high quality you can literally just look at the tag and blindly press and find something stunning #these are just my personal favorites #basically just my ao3 bookmarks and then some #sakuatsu #sakusa kiyoomi #miya atsumu #sakuatsu fic #haikyuu fic #ask #reynegades #thank you for asking.....ive been dying to make a fic rec post i just needed a push lol #fic

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sastrugie · 5 years ago

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john entwistle biography review

ok so first: I didnt really like the biography because I thought it would focus on totally different aspects. John was a musical virtuoso and that hardly ever gets mentioned in the book. But we get exact axccounts on how much money he spent on what day and in which pub he bought which champagne. like wow thanks. The other personal stuff is basic who knowledge you can read in any other Who biography. His autobiographical bits were joy and fun! Maybe the only reason to buy the book in my opinion. He writes totally different than the author...

ANYWAYS: here my fav facts from the book that you probably didnt know before

this is the face of a man who -when his father gave him driving lessons for his 21st birthday as a present- decided driving wasnt really his thing and he spent the money on clothes and parties instead. He never had a drivers license ever and also never desired to have one

the hospital he was born in, was bombarded and destructed one day after his birth

as a child he was really weak and thin and had basically every disease that existed

his family was poor af

his father left the family early and held contact with his son, but soon disappeared with a new family

his stepdad, Gordon, disliked John alot and would ignore him, hated everything John did or said and he let his bad moods out on Johns mother, which caused John to be very silent and observative around the house so that there wouldnt be any trouble

he did everything to please Queenie (his mom) so that there was no fighting, according to Alison

loved drawing and playing but usually alone since he had no friends apart from their dog

he heard a trumpet solo once from a trad jazz band when he was 6 or so and decided he wanted to learn the trumpet

my fav line of the book probably: “despite his own expectations, he passed the exams to go to grammar school” like same

at school he was bullied from the older boys but soon left alone by them because he would fight back with badass comments

he applied for the school band for the trumpet but the tallest guy in the year was chosen (he was the 2nd tallest) which made John mad, but he discovered the french horn

soon he found a friend, mickey brown, at last and he gave him the nickname “ent”

he was so terrible in P.E that he was dismissed with other pupils to play somehwere else, they were called “the hockey misfits” and guess who was among them: Pete Townshend.

yeah as you might know they became besties because they loved music and black humour.

he found himself a gf (alison) and Pete & a school gang (like 4 ppl) and his life seemed to finally get where it should.

his worst subjects were geography and german like wow (im a german geography student lmao)

once they played in a pub and johns stepdad was there and was super angry and gave john a list with his fav pubs and told him “these are the places I never want to hear your fucking music playing”.

after walking home pete decided to switch the guitar and john wanted to become a musician more than ever

Roger found him and John kind of convinced him (it took months apparently) to get Pete into the band and then it all started

he judged the beatles because John Lennons harmonica was “out of tune” in love me do, wow ok you nerd

john started smoking with 20 and was the last one to quit his job for the band and he was against drugs at first (bc he had a “civilized” job) but then decided to give a shit, dyed his hair black, bought cigarettes, smoked dope with pete and did speed too

he wanted to step out of himself and feel good about himself and he was always a fashionnerd so he started buying and trading and selling clothes (he once was dismissed from school bc he wore the school uniform incorrectly)

with 18 or so he was still living at home, had a toy soldier collection and a pet budgie

pete and his college friends made fun of john bc he wasnt a student and still lived at home, although john could have gone to college too and he wanted to, but his stepdad again said no and he had no choice.

he was very awkward and introverted but could open up with his music

he was really into pop art (esp pop art clothes)

was a pseudo mod bc he only liked the fancy clothes and motown music

with the who he found a purpose in his life and finally could be different than ordinary ppl

hated when people touched his hair, he literally hated it

would fuss much about his hair in general

once after a concert they were starving and the room service was alreday home so they had to look on used plates and food wagons and John found a shrimp and said: “who wants to dine with me tonight?” (idk that really made me laugh)

keith moon was john entwistles soulmate and they were the cutest, most iconic and funniest duo ever end of discussion

his amps would soon be called little manhatten bc he had so many bc he wanted to be loud

he actually went to sing at church once when he was like 24 and the band made fun of him then he stopped

in the late 60s he bought a house with alison in a normal neighbourhood and went walking the dogs on sundays and stuff

but he was a party animal and always the last to go

he was really sensitive and cried often according to Alison but only in front of certain people

he would totally step out of his way to please people

when they played at the monterey pop festival they didnt bring their own amps along and john was furious bc he said the american amps are shit and kit was like “no” and john didnt talk to him for the whole festival until their perfomance was over and they had sounded like shit to tell kit “I TOLD YOU SO” thats how extra he was

when he got money he would spend it bc he was so used to being poor that he thought it wouldnt last long and he had to enjoy it NOW

he was always calm and everyone respected him and kit told a story where he entered the room and roger was at keiths throat and and pete was screaming something and john was sitting in the corner cleaning his nails. thats who energy

liked to dance at parties

his fav drink was rémy cognac with 40% and he would drink like 1 bottle alone everyday in his later years...wow dude

he was also gentlemanTM and once paid taxis for girls from london to brighton after a party

once at a wedding the free drinks were out and John just gave the barkeeper his creditcard and said he will pay for all the drinks of the night for everyone (it wasnt his wedding)

Roger once said: “John made smartass comments that deserved a punch in the face” sounds like him yes

he didnt really care about money and always wanted to pay and never told anyone how much things had cost and brought gifts for everyone

soon that ended in a shopping addiction tho and he bought ridiculous things for ridiculous amounts of money

when the who was inactive he sank into depression :(

held the band together during who by numbers & who are you

wrote and played all the quadrophenia horn parts himself

never lost his passion for art and always drawed alot, said Alison

cried when Christopher was born aww

once he saw their manager in an art museum and how he wanted to buy a painting but couldnt afford it, so John bought it secretly and shipped it to said managers home as a gift

We all know John was a huge collector. His most treasured collection was .. wait for it: teapots.

he tried to save Keith from being arrested once and ended up being arrested too lol

wanted to write a scifi concept album but desorted the idea and gave some songs to the who (905) or Pete

was a good cook apparently

When he gave a hug HE was the one who decided when to let go sdfghjk

hated confrontation and would hire other people to tell someone bad news

he spent so much money on dumb shit like wtf

but didnt really care either

probably the master in picking up and seducing girls

he let his stepdad live in the quarwood mansion when he wasnt there but Gordon was still an asshole wtf

the contact to his real dad was really sporadic

when the who ended, it hit him really hard and he didnt know what to do besides partying and buying stuff/hording stuff

was very insecure and selfconscious in the 80s according to Maxene :(

he actually took pete breaking up the who really personal and was sad 24/7

was that kind of guy that said bad stuff about the who but when you said bad stuff he would try to kill you on spot

with cocaine he felt really confident and still like the 60s/70s rockstar he once was but he didnt understand that these times were over and he needed to move on

sometimes went into random pubs with friends and made jam sessions for the guests

he still was generous and loving until he died and tried to play with other bands but it was not the same

he really liked Kenney and hung out with him more than with his wife at some point lmao

was a total giver and people who worked at quarwood would steal money from him but when someone pointed that out he got angry with that person for even suggesting that

was a real softieee (and a huge nerd)

all his friends said that he was shy at first but once you got to know him he would come totally out of himself, was very funny, loved to tell stories, was very very loyal and would try evertyhing to make you laugh aww

all in all a glorious story with a sad ending and he did destroy himself completely, but lets remember that Pete Townshend described old John still as "wonderful, mature and elegant” so lets cling on to that :)

#the who #John Entwistle #band #literature #the ox #mine #pete and rog didnt participate in the bio maybe thats why its hit #*shit #not hit #also you can see: no info about his musical inspiration or werdegang #can not recommend #althought this post might look fun these are the filtered cool stories from like 330 pages #classic rock

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veloursnoirsbye · 4 years ago

Text

@ofthepuzzle asked:

⭐️👋👂📖

Send ⭐️ (or multiple) for a headcanon about our muses.

They love holding hands with each other, they def play duel monsters together (mostly for fun), amber would probably ask if she could do his eye liner for him and actually do his makeup, I could see them going on little dates like eating out or going to the aquarium or museum and also the beach!

Send 👋 for three things that describe our muses relationship.

see im trying to figure out do they mean actual objects or just words that describe their relationship so I guess ill do words because thats all i can think of:

Protection, Fondness, Trust

Send 👂 to overhear my muse talking about yours.

Amber sat down at a random cafe with her Sister as she ordered their coffee and waited for their drinks. When they got their drinks Lina stared at Amber sipping her coffee. “So, where are you going when you’re not at work, hm?” She asked giving her a look of curiosity. Amber blushed brightly and looked away taking a sip of her Frappe.

“With a friend.” She stated bashfully, chewing on her straw, Lina def noticed her flustered and smirked.

“Heh, looks like it’s more than just a friennnnd...” She sung, and that caused Amber to fluster even more.

“Shhhhhhh, not so loud!” She whined, only for Lina to giggle even more. “Okay, I’ll be good, so what’s their name?” She asked, knowing that Amber was into just anyone and she didn’t wanna assume the persons gender without even knowing who she was hanging out with.

“His name is Yami.” She stated, trying to stop herself from blushing even more after admitting and saying his name out loud. It was so weird to talk about her life outside of work to her little Sister. Even though they were close, she had yet to talk to her about the guy that she couldn’t stop thinking about when he wasn’t around.

“Wow, nice name. Never heard anything like it before.” Lina admitted, “Got a picture of him?” She asked knowing full well that Amber takes pictures of her life, or at least that’s what she thought,

“Oh, I don’t have one of him, but.. I really wanna take one of him someday.” She admitted bashfully. That only made Lina grin like a cheshire cat. “Someone seems to be crushing.” She teased, Amber blushed again sipping on her straw.

“Shhhh, am not!” She protested, but little did she know that deep down that she kind of was and it was starting to get to her now that she thought about it.

“Okay, but like... If you saw him, you’d understand why. He’s very mysterious... My kind of person, to be honest?” She admitted.

“Oh, yeah.. I can already tell you’re crushing. You guys aren’t doing things are you?”

She shook her head.

“Nah.. but we did...-- hold hands? But like I don’t know if he meant that as a friend way or not? Because let’s face anyone can hold your hand and it be platonic..--” She stated,

“Did you feel anything when you held his hand?”

Amber’s heart raced at the question, because the truth is she felt EXACTLY how she felt now when she thought about it.

“.......Y-yeah... I did.”

“Yeah, you have a crush, sis.”

That’s when she realized, maybe Lina was right, but was she gonna admit that out loud to him? Yeah...maybe not.

“....I guess.. I do.”

Send 📖 for my muse to read out an entry in their journal/diary about yours.

Dear Diary,

It’s so weird to talk about this to you, but man I don’t know where else to go to talk about this, I just realized that I may have a crush on someone and that hardly ever happens, you know? Feelings with me never see the day to light and I refuse to fall in love with anyone. Especially, because I promised myself I wouldn’t after the last experience I had with that kind of feeling and with my Dad dying due to being in love with my mother. I really hate that she did that to him and now I’m here without her too now that she left my step dad to do God knows what with her drugs. Anyways, that’s not what I’m here to talk about.

Today, I admitted to having a crush on Yami. I mean yeah, he’s an amazing friend and we get along and vibe so well together it’s like yoooo, what? He’s also fucking hot and boy do I just want to kiss his face when he laughs. God, I have it bad after reading that back to myself. I don’t know maybe it’s just...--maybe it’s just sexual tension because I haven’t had any in a while? Or am I really reading into it too much about feelings?

Yeah feelings are weird, I can’t believe I admitted that I might like Yami to Lina, though. Of all people, I didn’t even know I had a crush on him, even though he makes me feel mixed emotions when we’re together. Like, we flirt sometimes, and he has held my hand before, but I mean anyone can at this point? I do love the way his hand feels in mine though...

I also don’t wanna weird him out with these dumb feelings, though. I just want us to be okay and no awkwardness, I just want him to know how important he is to me. Even if we never be more than friends. I’m fine with that. If he wants to be more than friends then... I mean..-- I don’t think I’d say no, but that’s completely up to him, and I don’t even know if he would ever like me like that, but he’s so mysterious and his smile and smirk are captivating.

The way he just knows what to say to make me smile or when he does something funny I can’t help but laugh hard. He makes me feel at ease the way he’s always there for me, listens to me when I talk, or gives me protection when something happens to me.

Yeah, I’d say more, but this journal entry would be over a million pages long, but God I think I do have a crush on him or maybe more...? I dunno, I guess time will tell as I spend more time with him, I hope we can hang out more soon.

Until next time,

Amber❤

#ofthepuzzle #this got longer than i expected #oops

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things-can-be-seen-here · 4 years ago

Note

Oh! That uh. Headcanon thing??? Is that ok? If it was the Germany Bros and Denmark with zzz, pda, and built?? I dunno if your still doing this or not. But thank you anyways!! You're writing is good!!! And remember to take care of yourself.

I didn’t know if you wanted Germany Bros as a ship or as separated characters so I did them separately, but I think you’ll have the image to how it would look like in their relationship :D I hope you’ll like it! Im very glad that you like my writing!

Enjoy!!

Affection = How affectionate are they? How do they show it?

Germany - He tries his best to show affection in any possible way. He just has no idea how to do it and that makes him a bit unsure of himself. He uses gifts and dates as a form of showing affection, he even writes love letters. But he is always unsure about whether it’s good enough or not.

Prussia - Not very affectionate. Gilbert likes to assure and be assured of their love by words, not actions. He knows it might seem stupid, but he can read honesty in the other’s voice, so he knows if they mean it or if there’s something wrong.

Built = How did their relationship begin? Who took the first step?

Germany - Ludwig had never started a relationship before. He tries to show his love and he tries to read the other person, to see if he is not getting mixed signals or something like that.

Prussia - Prussia is being all touchy and laughy with the other, bumping into them playfully and asking them out for ice cream, coffee, to see a movie and so on. It comes to the point when he assumes the other loves him too, even to the point when he assumes that they are dating. Just when he leans for a kiss, he realizes that “No, I should have say something” and his s/o thinks “Oh, I should have known!”. It usually ends up in a relationship, so he doesn’t mind the awkward minute between them when they pull away after the kiss.

Denmark - No Matter how old Matthias is, or how many relationships he had, he is always very ashamed when asking somebody out. He is blushing, stuttering, he is fidgeting his fingers and he always, always end up asking “So... Can I kiss you?” and then “And... Could I kiss you again?”. His partner finds that funny, Matthias not so much.

Care = Do they take care of each other - mentally and physically? Are they usually interested in how the other’s day was?

Germany - He does not want to talk about his day. It gets tiring doing it for the first half of a day, he does not want to talk about it for the rest of it. But he is interested in how the other’s day was or how the project ended or if they felt happy... As for physical care, Ludwig likes to give massages. With fancy oils and candles. He thinks it’s a nice way to relax after a long day.

Prussia - he doesn’t like talking. He keeps his problems for himself and he assumes people want to do the same. So if his partner wants to talk about their day, they are welcome. But he won’t share how his day went. He prefers watching a movie and relaxing while cuddling, or just napping together. He feels much better after that. He believes that thing helps his partner as well.

Dates = How often do they go on dates? How do they look?

Germany - For important dates, Ludwig likes to go on fancy lunches and dinners. He likes long walks and alcohol tasting. If it’s just spending free time together, he likes to go hiking, he likes to visit museums and generally just travel to see new things.

Prussia - Is more of a lazy dater. He prefers staying home or somewhere close, like on a nearest beach or in nearest bar. Gilbert isn’t fan of fancy places if he doesn’t have the reason for it. But once there is a special occasion or his partner and him get to be together after a long time, he’s the one to chose a theater play or a restaurant.

Exceptions = What do they do, to make their partner happy (even if they don't enjoy it?)

Germany - Sings or reads to his partner in the bed. He really prefers not to do so, but once his partner asks him to, he can’t say no.

Prussia - Cleaning. If he’s partner is away, he takes care of the house, of the backyard, he goes shopping, does laundry, he will change sheets and clean the windows. He hates it, it takes whole day (maybe two) but the look on his s/o’s face is always worth it.

Future = Do they think about it? How does it look?

Germany - He’s a week in a relationship but he already knows how their wedding will look like and what will they kid name’s be. He knows it’s ridiculous, but he always feels like his partner is the one for him.

Prussia - Gilbert knows better than to give himself a hope of any kind. He is open to talks about future and he takes them seriously, but he doesn’t think of it much. He would be happy to make his dream future come true one day... Lots of kids and animals in big house - that’s what he wants the most.

Gifts = How often do they give the other gifts? What are the gifts?

Germany - Every anniversary, anytime they see each other after a long time, every birthday, Christmas, Easter... He uses every special occasion just to show that he loves the other person. Why? Because he can’t use his words properly. It’s always something practical and rarely it’s clothes or accessory.

Prussia - Is terrible with gifts. He is trying, he’s trying his best! But he can’t do it and he needs helps. He often asks somebody to help him and he is listening to his partner so he at least tries to buy the thing they seem to want the most.

Hiatus = Did they ever had to take a break from each other? Or is their relationship smooth?

Neither of them is fan of breaks. Whilst Ludwig believes everything can be settled after a long discussion, Gilbert knows that a break equals a break up.

Item = What belongs to the other, but they always use it?

Germany - He is usually bigger, so he can’t keep any clothes and wear them. But he really likes to borrow watch or glasses. It’s subtle, it’s elegant and no one knows.

Prussia - He goes with the saying “What is mine is yours and what is yours is mine”. (He borrows shoes a lot.)

Jealousy = Are they jealous? Does it show?

Germany - Not without a proper reason. He is trying to let everything slide and make himself believe, that there is no reason he should be jealous. So he does not show it either.

Prussia - He hates being jealous, but he is afraid that somebody might be better. He thinks he is good enough, but there is always someone who can be a better match for his partner. He does show it in a strange way - he si trying to please his partner and make himself look better, just to show his partner how good their relationship is and why they should stay together.

Kitchen = Who owns it?

As for Germany and Prussia, they both have their way around the kitchen. But the can’t work together, they are very different types of cooks, so the switch. (Ludwig end up cleaning after Gilbert most of the time.)

Likes and dislikes = What is the best and the worst thing about their partner?

Germany - Ludwig really likes when his partner is honest. At any cost. On the other hand, being lazy is a big no-no in a relationship.

Prussia - Gilbert appreciates if his partner is laughing at his jokes. However terrible they are, he just wants to make his partner smile. What he doesn’t like is being lectured by the other. He can stand it in private, but once it happens on a public place, that’s it for him. Gilbert knows he has many flaws, but he knows his worth and he won’t let anyone scold him in front of other people.

Mistake = What did they do and how did the situation ended?

Germany - Time is always a problem. He hates to admit it, but he could give his partner more attention and spend more time with him. As an apology, he buys something that his s/o wanted for a longer time and leaves his phone at home, spending as much time with his partner as possible.

Prussia - He does a lot of mistakes, but he never admits it to himself. So he is ignoring it, hoping his partner isn’t hurt in any way. They both end up forgetting about it in few days.

Nicknames = How do they call each other?

Germany - He doesn’t like nicknames, he never uses them. It feels weird for some reason. But when he uses any other name than his partner’s given name, he says it with the softest tone possible.

Prussia - Gilbert is playing with names. And he uses them all at the same time. (And he makes up nicknames for himself.)

Out of character = What is something nobody would believe they do in a relationship?

Germany - He is very needy cuddler. Once his job is done and he can finally rest, he prefers to have his partner near him. They don’t have to talk or kiss or anything, he just wants to be close to them and hug on the couch.

Prussia - Gilbert loves big cheesy romantic gestures. Every other anniversary he borrows a microphone and speaker and he stands under his partner’s window, singing ABBA and Bruno Mars’ old songs.

PDA = Their opinion on PDA? How does it look?

Germany - No. He knows that people don’t like seeing it and then it’s a private thing. So why would he want to show the others how much he is in love when his partner is the only one who has to know? Even when they see each other after a long time, he just hugs his partner and kisses them on both cheeks.

Prussia - It’s not like he doesn’t like PDA, he just isn’t that big of a affection-showing partner. He doesn’t need to hold the other’s hand or brush their shoulders together. He doesn’t really miss kissing anyone, he doesn’t need to be touched or touch. As long as he is sure that his love is being returned, he’s more than happy.

Denmark - Matthias is a very touchy person. He likes to hold his partner hand, he likes to hug them a lot... He enjoys those things. But he wouldn’t like them to be screaming at other people, so he is very subtle with them. There is the thing though - he can’t keep his lips away. Whether it’s pecks or just whispering, he keeps his lips close to his s/o’s body.

Quirk = What is a silly activity they really enjoy?

Germany - He loves shopping - in pet stores. He spends way too much there every now and then. But he never keeps those things (not until he goes there on purpose, for his own dogs). He is giving them to animal shelters, helping them as much as he can.

Prussia - Singing naked around the house. It starts in the shower, but it continues until he’s completely dry (without using a towel). He doesn’t need a microphone, he is just loud and he dances with his eyes closed. (Oh yes. It got awkward few times.)

Rough times = Do they argue? How often?

Germany - He can get loud if there is a problem that is ignored by his partner, but once the “debate” starts accelerating and it becomes an argument, he backs off and uses more calm, soft voice. He’s a patient man, so if he starts an argument, it’s not more often than once a month.

Prussia - He’s blunt and oblivious and even though it’s not much of a arguing problem, he often says things differently that he should and explains things to himself the wrong way. That leads to hard and dangerous conversations few times a week.

Sex = nothing too explicit, just a random headcanon

Germany - He’s very shamed of it, but when he’s the big spoon in bed, he gets a boner too often. It never happens to him, even if his partner is teasing him any other time of a day or place, he has his buddy under control. But once he is in bed, oh boy. It just keeps happening.

Prussia - He loves morning sex. Slow, relaxes, caring morning love making is the best kind of all.

Together time = How often does that happen? How are they usually spending it?

Germany - He loves his job. He knows it's bad, it's actually the worst, but his job is very important. But when Friday comes, he spends whole night planning their weekend together, making sure both of them will have something fun to do. (Unfortunately he never turns his phone off and chose his job over his partner.)

Prussia - He’s always putting work on the second place. He doesn’t care if the documents were supposed to be finished yesterday. He’s just going on a date and nothing can stop him. Does he regret his decision? Yes and no. Yes - he hated doing his job last minute. No - the date is always worth it. He prefers movie nights, cinema dates, he can even settle for operas and musicals. Anything to spend two hours quietly admiring his s/o and then having what to talk about for the rest of the evening. (He keeps all of the tickets.)

Unacceptable = What will they NEVER do in a relationship?

Germany - However jealous he might be, he never confronts his partner. Ludwig believes that trust and honesty is the most important thing in a relationship so he thinks his s/o would come to him and tell him if something was off. He is a bit worried, sure, but he would never make a scene or corner his partner. He just waits patiently, however hard it is.

Prussia - He can't break up with his partner. He knows it's bad and that it's terrible thing but he can't make himself break someone's heart. So he is bad boyfriend, he is making scenes, he is doing that typical "What's wrong? Nothing!" thing and finds as much excuses as he can, to be away from his partner. He just doesn't want to hurt the other, he knows just as much or a pain it is.

View worth millions = What is the part of their partners body they admire the most?

Germany - For Ludwig it's definitely hands. Not nails, he doesn't care about those at all. They can be long, short, acrylic or they can have dirt behind them. Whatever. But hands, fingers, skin... He likes to touch his partners hands a lot and caress them. Hard to tell which he likes more - if small or big hands, if soft skin or hard skin of hands that worked a lot. He just adores hands and palms.

Prussia - Gilbert is a simple man. He really is. But no so simple that he would settle for round butts and big breasts (not that he doesn't like those). Or for big muscles. But he's a hair man. He likes to play with them, caress them, smell them... He even braids them, even though he is terrible at it. He's just having fun.

When separated = Are they calling each other? Missing each other much? What happens when they see each other after a loner while?

Germany - He doesn’t want to be needy or annoying, so he is never the one to call and he’s texting the other just occasionally. It’s always a short, direct text, such as “Miss you.” “Love you.” “Hope you will come back soon.” but he answers every call or text in a minute, trying to make the conversation as long as possible.

The reunion is his favourite part. He buys one flower and big chocolate box and cooks lunch. In the evening, he and his s/o go to a restaurant for a fancy dinner, which always ends up in them talking until the late night, and then going home and cuddling in the bed.

Prussia - Doesn't care if he's annoying. It's the opposite, actually. He uses "one word - one text bubble" style of texting. Not that he wants to, he just uses it as a way of reminding his s/o that he is alive and they are still dating... (And that he misses his s/on a lot). He's the king of emojis too. He uses them much more than it's necessary and he actually thinks a lot about which he will chose.

As for reunion, he's always asking one question over and over again to the point when he annoys himself. "Missed me much?". To which is s/o answers "No, not at all." just because they want to mess with him. But once they say "Yes, very much." he is the happiest man in the world, he jumps around and laughs loudly, hugging the other tightly.

Xtra = extra headcanon

Germany - Ludwig loves to play RPG games. He won’t tell anyone, he could never tell anyone. But he secretly loves them. He got so mad the other time, he scared Gilbert to death with how angry he was and how much he was cursing.

Prussia - He is watching cartoons. Not anime - cartoons. My little pony, Miss Mallard Mystery, Totally spies, Avatar, Gravity Falls, Phineas & Ferb... you name it, he knows it.

Yours only = marriage headcanon

Germany - Ludwig cried. He cried at every single wedding he had attended and he cried at his own wedding. His s/o though it was cute, but Ludwig couldn’t look into anyone’s eyes until he started drinking. It felt a bit awkward... But he couldn’t help it. His s/o was just the most beautiful person in the world and now they were only his.

Prussia - Was looking just stunning. He was nice, he was smiling, he was thanking everybody... Gilbert was a changed man on his wedding day. He was taking a lot of pictures (even though he had the best and most expensive photographers around him) and selfies. And then dancing - Gilbert had danced with everyone who was invited. Twice. He gave his soul and heart to every dance and for the first time they all had to admit that the Prussian looked hot.

Zzz = sleep headcanon

Germany - Some might think that Ludwig is a heavy sleeper. That he goes to bed and won’t wake up until the alarm goes off. The opposite is the truth - Ludwig reacts to every sound, every smell... He knows when his s/o moves. That’s actually the reason why he doesn’t need an alarm. He keeps waking up on the sound of the clock in the kitchen (which is on the other side of the house).

Prussia - Gilbert sleeps with his door open. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. Haha, sorry... But he really does! And his windows open too. He likes night breeze. Why, you might ask, won’t he just close the door? He’s too lazy. When he goes to bed (which isn’t sooner than 2AM) he just wants to sleep. He can’t be bothered to do anything anymore.

Denmark - It doesn’t matter how long his sleep or nap is (it can be five minutes or five hours) but he always wakes up with pink cheeks. Rest of the Nordic is making fun of him, but just because they don’t want to admit that Matthias looks... kind of cute.

The thing that Denmark, Prussia and America have in common is, that they once made a pact and swore they will never ever wear pajamas again. Nightgown is cool, but they prefer to sleep in boxers or sweatpants (commando).

#hetalia #bringbackhetalia2020 #hetalia headcanons #aph germany #aph prussia #aph denmark #headcanon game #alphabet headcanon #alphabet game #ludwig beilschmidt #gilbert bielschmidt #mathias kohler

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writingforjoy · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter One: The Interview

At long last, ladies and gentlemen, I give you a very rough draft of the first chapter of (Im)Mortal! I hope you enjoy~

p.s I promise it looks better in docs💀🤦🏽‍♀️

@orchidalienscribbler @alexprompts @rhikasa @morganwriteblr @stephrawlingwrites @wiseauthorowl @givethispromptatry

Mallory and I were over my cousin Cassidy’s house one weekend, working on a project that neither of us like and only Cassidy had experience with. We were in Cas’ room when Mallory shot up from Cas’ bed and looked at me with a huge grin on her face. “Hey bruh, let’s do something while we wait on Chef.”

The smile on her face told me that whatever she was planning had to be worth getting into trouble. “What is it my bold and bored friend?”

“Let me interview you.”

“Seriously? Right now?”

“Yeahp. Just tell me your life story…okay maybe not, like, yo whole life but the um...most eventful? Yeah we’ll go with that.”

I shook my head and laughed. “Wooow, okay then. Should I include Skyla or nah?”

“Was the meeting eventful?”

“I found her in the woods. She liked me. I liked her. Then she became my precious baby lamb.”

“Save it for our next interview. It’ll be our pet edition.”

“Alright, cool. Ssoooo...how am I starting this off?”

Mallory rolled her eyes and tossed one of Cas’ pillows at me. “Witcha name ya dumb duck!”

“Rruuuuuude. ...But what about her?”

She sat quietly on the bed, thinking about the question. “Ummm...I don’t know? Just roll with it I guess?” She took her phone out and started recording me as I fidgeted around on the floor messing with our dying project.

“Okay then, here goes nothing.” I took a deep breath to relax myself. “Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down and I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I became the demon of a town called Easthaven.”

“Okay, Will, let’s get it then!” She said laughing.

My name is Helouise. I was born with clay-red skin, eyes the color of golden topazes, and raven black hair. I’ve been told a few times that ‘Helouise’ wasn’t supposed to be my name, but ‘ELouise’ instead to kinda match my mom’s name ‘Ellen’. So whoever wrote my name on my birth certificate misheard her completely. Lucky for them I had a great grandmother with that name. So my whole name is ‘Helouise Nevaeh Piercemen’, which I think is kinda amusing. My middle name, ‘Nevaeh’, is ‘Heaven’ spelled backwards.

Growing up I was known as the ‘Problem Child’, as most other parents called me. I honestly was a hot-headed little girl. Whenever I would throw a tantrum, my parents would often give me ‘soothing potions’ calm me down. To some parents’ disbelief, I wasn’t as spoiled as they thought I might’ve been. My parents raised me just as like any other parents would raise their own children (just a little bit overprotective), but I didn’t feel as if they actually loved me all the time. So I would call them ‘Mother’ and ‘Father’ to irritate them often. It didn’t bother them much as I had hoped though, they just laughed it off.

“Pfft, but why would you do that?” Mallory asked through her giggles.

“Bruh I don’t know! I was an evil lil shit I guess.” I said laughing with her.

When I first started school in fourth grade, all the other kids there just stared or stayed away from me. I could tell that they were afraid of me. I was afraid of them too honestly. I was homeschooled at first, and had never been to a school before until then. Someone had talked my parents into thinking that I should go out and make friends, prove to people that I’m not as weird or awkward as they thought I was. So, I was just as scared of my classmates as they were of me. I wasn’t wearing my shades back then, so I believe that it was mostly the color of my eyes that either scared people away or was the reason I got bullied a lot. No one stood up for me except my new teacher Ms. Wrangler. The old one mysteriously disappeared one day and she was there the next day. She was always there to comfort and protect me from the other kids, she was the nicest person to me in to whole school. She had always made me feel special at the end of the day, telling me that I had nothing to worry about as long as I stayed with her. On days when I didn’t eat in the cafeteria, she would go out and buy me food to eat and we’d eat in the classroom together. She would even buy me things ‘just because’, and told me not to tell anyone. I really liked her, I felt more love from her than I did either of my parents, so I did what I was told. Then one day she told me that she wanted to take me somewhere special and that I would need permission from my parents to go. So, she handed me a slip saying that the class was going to the local science museum.

On the day of the ‘field trip’, we didn’t go to the science museum. She took me to a park outside of town and said that we were going on a nature walk. Whenever she looked at me, I thought it was funny that her eyes had changed from their normal bright blue color to red, but I was young and didn’t know better. Later that evening she said that today was going to be my last day with her. I didn’t understand what she meant and couldn’t ask, somehow I had blacked out after that. All I remember after that is waking up in my dad’s car, being held tightly by my mom with her crying ‘I won’t…not again’, then I went back to sleep. We moved from our first home later that week with the help of my uncle. I tried asking them what happened to my teacher, but all they would say was ‘We’ll explain it when you’re older’.

After being homeschooled again for a few years, and after being told some strict rules and to never take off my shades for anyone, I was allowed back into school. I was in high school by then, and I was lucky enough to make a few friends, even though others continued to stare and judge me whenever they thought I wasn’t around or couldn’t hear them, but I didn’t care as much as I did when I was little. So I thought things were finally looking up for me. Then again, what would high school be without a few surprises?

One day while I was in biology class, I was called into the office and was told that my dad was coming to pick me up. Since it was close to Christmas break, I thought we were taking an early vacation, but as soon as my dad got there and we made it to the hospital, all thoughts of any vacations were gone. For fourteen years, I’ve been alone and gotten used to being an only child, then my parents decided to go and add a new kid in the mix. I was never fond of the thought of having a sibling, let alone a sister, and this one caught me by surprise. I never noticed mama’s stomach getting big (even though she was a ‘stay at home mom’) and they never told me. They said that they wanted to surprise everyone. When I first saw the baby, she had deep blue eyes and rosy cheeks, and small tufts of hair that looked so shiny at the time they thought it was golden. She was such a beautiful baby…I didn’t like her. I hated how normal and happy she looked. Then they told me her name. They named her Rose.

A beautiful name for a baby girl. Was I so ugly when I was born that my parents let me have an ugly name? I thought to myself. Is she even that pretty to deserve a name like that?

I was so angry that I started to hate Rose. She looked normal and they gave her a normal name, and the way that they were looking at her, with so much love and affection, made me hate her even more. Mama tried giving Rose to me, but I didn’t take her. I was too angry. Then my dad rushed over to me, held me close while brushing my hair back, and told me to calm down before I set off the alarms. I pushed him away and ran out the room, I ran into the nearest bathroom I could find and curled up in the corner of it and cried. I cried from the anger and from the feeling that my parents weren’t happy with me, let alone loved me. A moment later, my dad opened the door and peeped in. When he saw me, he came and hugged me, saying things like ‘We still love you’ and ‘We thought you’d be happy to have a little sister or brother’ and other things that I barely heard. Once I stopped crying, I noticed a burned hole on his jacket and asked how that happened. He laughed and said his stupid cigarette lighter button had been pressed earlier when he wasn’t paying attention. Daddy was a frequent smoker, so I believed him. He brought me back into mama’s freezing room. I still didn’t want to hold Rose, but I was curious about her cheeks. So I asked mama if I could touch them, and she said yes. I placed a finger on one of her cheeks and jumped back a little as she laughed at me. Rose’s cheeks were ice cold. She said that it was just the room, but it didn’t matter. I still didn’t like her, and I had already made up my mind that I wouldn’t have anything to do with her (as less as possible anyway).

The next surprise, which I’d like to call ‘The Train Wreck’, happened almost immediately after I turned sixteen a few months ago. The first thing was that Rose’s hair wasn’t blonde after all, but instead it was white like our dad’s hair. I figured that it was some genetic mutation like the color of me and Mama’s eyes. Another thing was that I actually kind of liked the idea of having a sister and I kinda liked her, even though she was a brat at times. The last thing happened one day after school. My parents, Rose, and I were meditating in the basement (well Rose was half-asleep holding her new, blueberry scented teddy bear). I was really thinking about the ugly sofa that Mama had bought last week. For the first time ever, I had a few friends coming over to study and hang out in a few days, and the first thing they would see when they came in would be that disgusting, over brightly dyed hippie couch. My parents needed a new couch, but couldn’t really afford one after they had redecorated Rose’s room. I knew and understood that, but the couch was so damn hideous that the neighborhood cat my parents like to let in every so often wouldn’t even piss on it.

There has to be a way to talk them into getting new couch! I’ll be embarrassed for life if my friends saw that hideous thing. They need to get rid of it! Uugh, I hate that stupid looking couch!

If you hate the couch as much as you say you do, then do something about it. I jolted my head up and scanned the room, but no one else was there other than my folks, so I thought that I was just imagining things. You’re not imagining it, I’m the…’other’ you, I’ve just woken up from a peaceful sleep. If you hate the couch then get rid of it.

What do you mean ‘the other me’? And just how am I gonna to get rid of it?

Haven’t you figured it out yet? The reason why you look the way you do. Don’t you think you were destined to do something great in your life? I’m the…’special’ side of you. An active subconscious, if you like. We’re a special girl Helouise. Did you know that we can manipulate fire?

“I can do what?!” I blurted out. Mom and Dad looked at me with startled faces and Rose fell over backwards. I quickly apologized and went back to trying to meditate.

The subconscious giggled. Of course we can, all you have to do is concentrate on the couch, speed up the molecules, and imagine it bursting into flames… or something along the lines like that at least.

I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean, what if instead of burning the couch I, and I hope it doesn’t happen, burn down the house?

What do you have to lose? Our parents got the extended warranty or whatever on it anyway and if something does happen to it, they have the money to get a new one! You could even convince them to get something better than that. And what if the house burns down? It’ll be even better since you’ll be able to get a better house than this dump we’re in now. Besides, no one will get hurt in the process, we’re not that strong yet, promise~

I thought it over on what she said and decided to give it a shot. If she’s right then no one will get hurt and we’ll be getting a new couch. I wished that I was going crazy, but I hated the couch so much that I started imagining myself setting fire to it. It’d be a win-win for me if everything went ok. Minutes later, the smoke alarm went off. We rushed upstairs into the living room and saw that the sofa was on fire. Daddy rushed to get the fire extinguisher in the kitchen while Mama set Rose down and ran to the hallway to try and activate the sprinklers and yelled for me to watch Rose who was already stumbling towards the blazing couch. I, on the other hand, stood there watching in amazement.

See?! You did it! Don’t try to stop it now, just let the couch burn!

I can’t just let it burn! I’m gonna try to stop it now, it’s burned enough anyway. And besides, Rose will get hurt if she gets to close. I thought after I yanked Rose away from the couch and set her beside me.

Then let her burn too. You never liked her anyway; she’s nothing but a pest. Remember, she’s the one that replaced you and took what little love your parents had for you. It’ll be all over quickly if you push her into the fire. Just push her towards it and hold her there. She’ll be the only one being burned if that’s what you’re worried about. Haven’t you realized yet that temperature doesn’t affect you? So if you touch it, you won’t get burned genius.

Are you insane?! It doesn’t matter if I like the little brat or not, she’s my sister! I can’t kill her, Mama and Daddy would kill me if I did!

ONLY because you killed what was precious to them! Think about it: they don’t love you anymore, they don’t care about you, and you know it. That’s why they replaced you. …Look at you, if you really couldn’t kill her like you said, then why are you slowly pushing her towards the fire?

I looked down to see that Rose was only inches away from the fire again, but it was me pushing her towards it. “Rose you little idiot!” I yanked her back again and took several steps back from the couch.

Why don’t you just go ahead and do it? You were almost there; she could’ve been dead by now! You can’t deny the fact that you want to kill her.

“Shut up and leave me alone!” I said loudly. Okay Helouise, just take some deep breaths, and concentrate on the fire…and don’t touch Rose. I concentrated on the fire on the sofa, and imagined the flames getting smaller. Then Mama and Daddy finally came back just in time to see that I was already making the fire go away. They stood there with a worried look for a moment, and then asked me calmly if I was the one who put the fire out.

“Yes, but I caused it too. The thing is I don’t know exactly how I did it, I just” -Maybe I shouldn’t tell them about the voice…maybe I’m just going insane- “I just thought about burning the sofa like the voice said at first and then making the fire small. But why did this have to happen in my junior year, just when everyone was thinking I was normal, just when they finally accepted me? Why am I hearing this cynical voice inside me head?!” I cried while looking at them. They told me that they knew I was going to have my powers fully awakened, just didn’t know when. Then they told me that I had fire-powers since I was young and that I just couldn’t remember them. Then I showed signs of it when I was about three and threw terrible tantrums. Then I remember the day that Rose was born, when Daddy was telling me about the alarms and came into the bathroom with the hole on his jacket, and then I became angry.

“So that day when Rose was born, tell me Father, what did you mean about the alarms? And what really happened to your jacket?” I asked looking directly at him. His face went from a calm expression to a shocked one as he mumble something about my eyes. “I didn’t ask about my eyes, tell me what really happened the day that Rose was born!” I yelled. He told me that when I was upset, my hair was slowly turning into flames and I was standing by some posters that were right under the smoke detector. Then he told me that when I pushed him away, I burned a hole through his jacket and almost his shirt. Then Mama started speaking, but I couldn’t hear her, my mind was too busy processing what I just heard. They lied to me, that’s why they kept giving me those potions when I was younger; they knew something was wrong about me from the very beginning! I’m just a weird accident to them; they never loved me enough to tell me the truth.

To be honest, they probably never really loved you at all. Why else do you think they had her Helouise? Don’t you remember how they were looking at her and how pretty she was?

I remembered how they were looking at Rose in that hospital room and became infuriated. That’s why they had another child, they never loved me, they probably never even wanted me in the first place, they wanted a normal, beautiful girl! Another little girl that they could truly love! I felt Rose trying to give me her teddy bear, but I was too angry and knocked it away from her and she began to cry.

“Helouise, look what you’ve done!” Mama called out rushing past me.

“So what if the stupid bear is burning?!” I cried wiping the tears from my face. “You two lied to me almost all my life and then tried to replace me with that stupid brat! And now all you care about is some stupid bear and-” I looked behind myself to point at Rose, but I stopped as mama rushed past me again with Rose in her arms, holding and kissing on her hand. I noticed a small burn mark on Rose’s wrist as she did. I just burned my sister. “Oh my god, I’m sorry! It was an accident, I swear!” I can’t believe I burned my little sister.

It felt good, didn’t it Helouise?

What did?

Setting things on fire, and of course, burning your sister. Feel a little proud of yourself, don’tcha?

…Just leave me alone.

I knew you’d enjoy that. You can’t hide it from me.

Will just go away already?!

Just think of how great you’d feel if you would just kill the lil brat already! It’d be fun, you’d-…wait a minute…do you smell that Helouise? It smells like we’re not the only one with magic in here. Helouise, we gotta have that power.

Suddenly my dad came up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t touch me!” I yelled, bumping into the hanging fern and causing it to burn too. Then I moved away from him and the fern.

That’s it! That’s where the power is coming from! You can take his power for yourself if you touch him. Drain his power. That’s all it takes.

I do want that power. Why haven’t I noticed it before?

You never noticed because he knows how to conceal his power, and you couldn’t sense it, you didn’t know how to sense other people's magic. But now that I’m awake, we can sense other peeps magic a little!. All you have to do to get their power is drain it from them.

…I really do want that power; it smells sooo good. Whatever it is, I need that power.

Then drain him. I reached for my dad’s hand pretending to want to hold it for comfort. Kill Daddy for his magic. I drew my hand back quickly before grabbing his hand. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

ARE YOU CRAZY?! “Dad get away from me!”

JUST KILL HIM!!

“I can’t kill my Dad!” As bad as I wanted his power, I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t kill my own dad. He told me to calm down but I couldn’t. “Daddy, I just made our couch and our fern get on fire, and I burned my little sister and her bear! I can’t calm down! And look,” I pointed frantically towards the couch and the fern. “The couch is burning again and the fern is still on fire! I can’t control them!” I said panicking. He stepped towards me again with his hands out saying that everything was going to be ok.

He’s practically giving you his hands, just take them and kill him!!

“NO!!”

His power could be ours and we could be stronger!

“Daddy get back! I know you have powers I can smell it and the voice is trying to make me kill you for it and I’m trying not to so please just stay back!” We looked at the smoke alarm that finally went off and the built-in sprinklers turned on, but when I looked at the flames on the couch, nothing happened to the flames.

Quick! Do it now while he’s distracted!

“WILL YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!” I shouted out flailing my hand out, pushing nothing away, and letting a fireball fly out of my once empty hands onto the faded blue curtains. Still the water from the sprinklers couldn’t make the fire die out. “See?! Even the water can’t put it out! What if the fire spread? What’s going to happen if the firefighters come and they can’t put it out? What if-” Then he swiftly approached me again and grabbed my shoulders, and an immense chill overcame me that caused my knees to buckle. Then he told me to calm down again, only more sternly. He told me that they know it was an accident. It was their fault for not telling me about my magic sooner. He let me go and told me to look back at the couch. I looked at the smoldering couch and then turned quickly to see the burnt fern and the burnt curtain. He told me that I could do anything as long as I was calm. Then he reached into his pocket, pulled out his lighter and tossed it towards the couch. He said that if the firefighters did come, they‘d find that, so I could stop worrying about them trying to find out who did it or what would happen if they stayed to long.

I looked back towards the kitchen where my mom and Rose were coming from and saw she had put some of the homemade healing salve on Rose’s wrist. I looked back to my dad and he told me that everything would be all right, then Mama said that we would start practicing to control my emotions and magic tomorrow.

The next day, to make sure that Rose didn’t get hurt or learn about our magic ‘too early’, my parents called and told my grandmother, my dad’s mother, what happened and asked if she could keep Rose for a while. She agreed, and she when she came over she smelled the same way as daddy did; just slightly different, but definitely stronger. The same urge came over me to drain her too as she and my dad walked in the house, but mama held on to me, and told me to focus on her scent and to tell her what it smelled like. Then Granny looked over at us with disgust as Daddy showed her to Rose’s room, and to tell her what was going on. I could feel the anger building up as she glared at us, but Mama covered my eyes and nose and told me repeatedly to calm down as she rocked me. A moment after she did that, we could hear Rose crying upstairs. She wasn’t willing to leave at first, but soon they convinced her that it was only for a little while, and that she was going to have a lot of fun with our granny. So she left with her, and it was just me and my parents once.

Afterwards, my parents told me the truth. The whole truth. First, they told me about the color of my eyes. Mom said that everyone on her side, including me, had the exact same eyes and that we’re demons, and the voice I heard was actually my inner demon, like an active conscious of sorts, that was implanted, given, or something by our many great grandfather, Guidry. She also said that some demons were born with the natural instinct to kill, to be truly ‘evil’, and they were mostly always the ‘upper level’ ones, but for us it was different and she couldn’t exactly explain why. Daddy said he wasn’t a demon, but he wasn’t a witch (or warlock…wizard, whichever they classify themselves as) either, but he could subdue people with a single touch. They didn’t know about Rose yet, and only time would tell if she’s was going to grow up to be normal or like one of them. Then Mama told me what happened Ms. Wrangler, and why I had to start wearing shades in public. Ms. Wrangler was a demon too. Everyone on mama’s side of the family were being hunted by other demons. They feared that we would become over powerful or somehow immortal, so they would catch and take us to the Upper Council where we’d either die from enslavement or something else entirely. So for whatever reason Ms. Wrangler had tried to kidnap me for, the end result wasn’t going to be good.

When Mama noticed that my scent had gone outside the city, they came after me. They saved me and had to kill Ms. Wrangler and the other demons that was there, and that’s why we had to move. Then Mama started blaming herself for not going to meet the woman herself when she first came into town.

After that, she helped me to gain control of my new ability and to quiet the voice inside. They had me to train with my power everyday. Soon, I was able to create fires and make them go away at will. The voice was still there, but she didn’t talk as much after that.

But still my grandmother didn’t bring Rose back. Mama called and asked her why, then I heard her gasp from the kitchen and I went to see what happened. I watched her as she was listening to whatever Granny was saying, and then she finally said that she understood and hung up the phone. Mama never told me what happened, but only said that we could visit her whenever we wanted. I thought that Rose had either gotten really sick or this had somehow became a custody battle. Even though I never really liked the brat at times, it still hurt to hear that Rose wasn’t coming home, and it made me feel that with my power being ‘fully awakened’, my granny didn’t trust for me to be around her. I regretted being a demon at all that day despite what the voice said otherwise. I saw no point in having this power if it only caused my parents pain and having my sister taken away. I could tell that her not being able to come back home yet had broken their heart. Then I promised myself that when she comes back, I would be the best big sister ever.

“Wow...just wow. Why didn’t you tell me all this before?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess I don’t like talking about it much.”

“Fair enough. Now just a few questions. Just two, I think, if you don’t mind ma’am?”

“Shoot.”

“You said that your Dad’s power had a scent? Is it just him or what?”

“Well, it’s more of a scent for him and not his magic? Like, I can smell it even when he’s not using it. And no, everyone has their own scent. I think I’m just now...paying attention to it? I mean, I probably noticed his and Mama’s scents before but never just...thought about it, if that makes sense?”

“Cool. So what’s my scent?”

“A sweet little cupcake.” I laughed as she groaned. “It’s not chocolate though, friend~”

“Thank you Jesus.” She mumbled. “Now, what about Rose? When was the last time you saw her?”

“We see each other everyday, sometimes Granny would bring her over, or we’d go over there to visit. Sometimes I don’t go though, cause I still don’t think she likes me.”

“That sucks. Do you still feel like you want to...you know, take their magic? Or anyone else’s?”

I shifted around the floor. “No comment.”

“Damn bruh...savage.” I snorted at her attempt to make things better. “So, final question! Do you think this is the end of your epic adventure? Has everything finally calmed the fuck down for you?”

“Oh my God yes and I hope it stays just like this forever.”

Silly girl, if you believe that then you should really know better. This is just the beginning of our adventure.

#writingforjoy #writeblr #(Im)Mortal #Helouise Pierceman #Mallory O'Neil #alexprompts #alexpromptswipweekly #tumblr needs more formatting options #istfG

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trueslove · 5 years ago

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✧･ﾟ: * ( park jiwon , cis female , she / her ) have you seen violet hwang around ? i hear the twenty-one year old is working as an art director . did you know they have 97 love alarm points ? if they ever want to be truly loved someday they should ease up on being temperamental & enigmatic . at least you can say they’re disarming & convivial, too. / love alarm blocked

hello ! im xan and ur watching d*sney channel ... just kidding we do NOT support big corporations who just wanna take ur money 😔 im 22 , from the est timezone ( even though my sleeping schedule ... does not reflect that sjbdwjkbdjdw ) & i go by she / her pronouns ! im gonna be honest this intro is gonna be completely winged so buckle up .... and meet violet 😋

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ quick stats + aesthetics !

full name: violet hwang.

nickname(s): vee, vivi.

zodiac: tba....

sexuality: bisexual.

birthplace: manhattan, new york.

current residence: toronto, canada.

aesthetics: maraschino cherries at the bottom of a glass, driving with the windows down at night, unanswered text messages, black nail polish, the sound of rain hitting the windowpane, kissing and not telling, smiles that don’t quite reach the eyes.

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ backstory !

was born and raised in nyc baby ! she’s a true city girl, grew up in lower manhattan ( the financial district if u wanna get specific ) to a family with lots of $$$$ thanks to her father’s position as a ceo of an investment bank located on wall street

life was pretty smooth until she was 17 and her father got arrested for embezzlement and fraud </3 it was actually a huge scandal for the investment bank he worked for because it was a whole group of higher ups who had been in on these crimes. basically a bunch of already rich men trying to get richer ... disgusting ik /:

her life changed pretty drastically after that ! the hwang name was all over the news, their family was pretty much disgraced by high society in nyc, not a very fun time for anyone but especially not for violet’s mom

after her dad got arrested violet was uhh high key furious with him for ruining their lives with his greed and she wanted nothing to do with him, but her mom couldnt let go. she was still defending him, spending the money they had left on lawyers which included the money the family had set aside for violet’s trust fund that she would have had access to once she was 18 </3

so her plans for college changed pretty drastically JSDBJWBDJW ( goodbye ivy league education ) she actually ended up getting into the university of toronto for visual studies on an academic scholarship

so she made the big move all on her own....moved into a tiny dorm...and vowed to reinvent herself. she didnt wanna be labeled as the daughter of a white collar criminal anymore so she just made it a point not to talk to much abt her past to anyone

her struggles as someone who grew up with $$$$ turning into a broke college student made for some embarrassing but funny moments <3 luckily though everyone else had their own struggles so no one found it suspicious JSBDJWBDJ

when love alarm launched three years ago, violet had just started college so it was really the Big thing anyone and everyone was talking about. since she’d never been a fan of other dating apps, she wasn’t gonna download it but her roommate at the time convinced her ! at first it was fun, just something she didnt take too seriously

fast forward to graduation and she’s snagged a job as an art director for a little local museum, doing freelance art directing on the side to help pay the bills. low and behold one day a photographer hires her to be the art director to a shoot they’re doing for a badge club member who was in a very high profile and public relationship at the time

violet ended up working with that photographer and badge club member a handful of times, enough for her to catch fee-🤢 catch feelin-🤢 i cant even say it .. she’d never rung anyone’s love alarm before, so of course her first time had to be with someone who was already taken </3 safe to say she ... freaked out

she was embarrassed above all else, but also heartbroken bc in her head like ... why would someone who literally is part of an exclusive club based on ppl ringing their love alarm care that she rung theirs ? she didnt think it’d be a big deal to them the way it was to her ( but also didn’t stick around long enough to find out jsxbsjbdjw )

when she was offered the block she didn’t hesitate to use it figuring it’s better if no one knows her romantic feelings ever again like that /: she’d delete the app but a part of her still likes knowing there are ppl out there who DO like her like that so ... Rip truly

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ personality + tidbits !

she comes across as ... kind of a bitch SDJBJWBJWBDW it’s truly not on purpose she just has a pretty serious resting expression most of the time ( so she looks mad or annoyed even when she isn’t ) and she’s pretty difficult to get to know ? not to mention the fact that no one has ever witnessed her ring someone’s love alarm .. so all that combined just makes it easy to assume she’s some sort of ice queen when that’s far from the truth /:

violet really isn’t one to open up too deep to people, but that’s got a lot to do with the past she’s kind of running away from ! so if you’re her friend most of the stuff you know about her is probably surface stuff, but when she’s close to someone she can make that fact hard to realize ? she just has a way with making the people in her life feel important so it’s easy not to be focused on how much you know about her

never bothers to correct the people that misjudge her. if you don’t like her, if you want to make up assumptions and rumors about her, go ahead like violet really won’t stop you which can sometimes make meeting new people difficult </3 if you’ve seen the dating class webdrama chuu was in she’s kinda like oh seyoung’s chara joowon 🤧

if she wants to, though, she’s pretty good at getting people to like her / trust her ! she does this a lot in professional situations, which is why she’s been doing so well as an art director so far despite being so young

she’s also very loyal to her friends ! if you can’t ask for extra sauces at mcdonald’s....if you can’t make a phone call to your credit card company explaining that a $3,000 charge to starbucks wasn’t you.....she’s your girl <3 since she’s relatively not bothered by the way people see her ( unless it has to do with her past ) she’s usually the one speaking up if someone she cares about can’t

after the ... incident ... JSDBWJDBWJ she’s really not a fan of the badge club and everything it stands for ): BUT she continues to do art directing work for a lot of the members when they do photoshoots, or instagram campaigns, or if they have a pop up shop, etc. it’s good money and she needs every penny considering she’s living without support from her family

cannot cook to save her life so she’s always eating out .. this really is why she’s taking those more high profile jobs she can’t budget .. but it’s better, safety wise at least, that she continues wasting her money on takeout aha <3

pretends she’s not a romantic and is all about the ~casual flings~ but really she’s just afraid of serious feelings and the idea of a serious relationship ... it’s the trauma 😔 constantly jokes shes gonna bring the tinder whore era back JWDBWJBDJW she is sick of this true love nonsense ! ( the irony of this url ahaha... )

she’s the most social after a few drinks, since drunk her isn’t burdened by a mind that overthinks literally everything the way she is sober. if you don’t supervise her though she can get pretty carried away and probably get into some kind of trouble so she’s definitely not the person you want to be in charge on a night out !

really wants a dog but doesn’t think she’s cut out to be a pet parent it feels just as scary as the idea of having an actual kid so ... BDWBDJW if you have a pet ? she’s gonna be living vicariously through you <3

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ wanted connections !

the photographer that hired her / introduced her to the badge club member she ended up having feelings for

the badge club remember she had / has feelings for because we love suffering 😈

old roommates from college !! maybe even the one that got her to download love alarm in the first place hehehe

also a current roommate / roommates because your girl can’t afford to live on her own <3

someone she’s confided in about her past ( maybe they judged her for it and had a falling out, or maybe they remain confidants )

an ex bf or gf she dated while she was in school ! she never rang their love alarm ( even though this was pre block ) so maybe that’s why things ended between them. or maybe they never rang each others and it was just a mutual thing where they both didn’t really have feelings for each other and tried to date anyway and it didn’t work. or perhaps they dated and when violet realized she was starting to have those feelings she dipped before she ever got a chance to ring their love alarm bc she didn’t want to be exposed like that and commitment is scary ):

spare best friend ? i’d use a knife emoji to show you how serious i am but i dont wanna scare anyone away aha .. i would just love a best friend plot 🥺

current flings / hookups or past flings / hookups ! i imagine most of them to not be serious but it would be kinda cool if there was someone she’s seeing now that she’s got the love alarm block that she’s actually falling for considering she’s never gonna be able to ring their love alarm hehehehe

people she art directs for !! i imagine she’s got a pretty long list of employers ( from badge club members to regular folk 🤧 ) so it would be cool to have people who hire her for stuff, or who collaborate with her for artistic endeavors since i’ve noticed we have a lot of artsy muses <3

ummm maybe an enemy. but where it’s like .. the hate isn’t even that deep it’s just like oh you dislike me ? well i dislike you FIRST 😠 and they insult each other and try and sabotage each other like five year olds fighting on the playground like it seems super serious to them but to everyone watching it’s like ... can you guys just get over it you dumb babies KSDBSDBWD like they could probably be good friends if they just .. stopped

and you’ve reached the end of this NOVEL of an intro post JDBJWBDJWBDW im literally so sorry i tried not to ramble but ..... its just who i am </3 please come shoot me a message to plot !!! you can use tumblr ims but im way more available / quicker to respond on discord so if u wanna add me there and plot u can find me at junhee mr. soft hands ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172 i also did not check this post for typos so if u find one ... mind ur business 😭😭😭

#╰ ♡ . 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒅𝒖𝒎𝒃 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒔𝒔 ── ooc ! ┘#lovealarm.intro #HELPSDBWJD finally i finished.....im so sorry in advance this is . so long #also im going out in like 2 hours to eat so if im slow to respond to messages tonight u know whats going on <33333

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blondecarfucker · 6 years ago

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Bed of Roses (Last Chapter - 21)

Roger Taylor x Reader

BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader

Fic Summary: It's 1971. You just moved to London to study, and you find a band on a local pub after a bad date. The encounter doesn’t go the way you expect it, and neither does what follows this evening as you try to deal with loving Roger Taylor.

Fic Note: So I’ve had this story in my head for the last three weeks and finally decided to write it down. It’s completely planned. It will have 21 chapters and it’s divided in three acts: Dusk, Night and Dawn. It’s will be a bit angsty in the future, and it will most likely have some smut as well. I hope you guys enjoy it! Tell me what you think about it in the asks/comments/messages. If this is your first time stumbling upon Bed of Roses, thank you for stopping by! The rest of the story is in my masterlist, the link is in my bio - can't put the link here or else the post will disappear from the tags.

Chapter's notes: THE LAST CHAPTER. I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE. i feel like before i start my thank yous i could give you some weird trivia on the story. i wrote the entire outline for the fic at a weekend shift at work, where i always have free time. i had some smaller ideas - them meeting at a bar and not seeing again, the whole kensingon-taxi-class thing from the beginning - but there was a sudden burst of inspiration and in like twenty minutes the outline was done, and very little has changed, i mostly just added some more details. also, i imagine the reader as alicia silverstone in the 90s?? idk. i just do. also, the reader thing with new york comes from the fact that i lived there for a while and i miss it so much, so thats why theres so much detail about places and stuff - its my form of revisiting my favourite spots there. also, will (REMEMBER WHEN) was written with sebastian stan in mind, and liv tyler (in her lord of the rings days) was poppy. i did too much research for this fic on queen history, and everytime i had to change something (especially in the first act) so the dates made more sense, it KILLED ME.

anyway, now the thank yous: SHIT THIS FIC IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT CHAPTER ON MY LIFE. its my first time writing such a long story without abandoning it, and my first time writing fiction in english, so i learned so much!! i was doing some research the other day, and the great gatsby is like 47k words long, and the first harry potter is around 70k words long - bed of roses is around 60k words long. this is crazy.

it's also my first story to get this many readers interacting with me, and i'm so grateful for you all!! i thought about thanking you all by name, but i dont want anyone to feel left out so i just want every and each one of you reading these words to know: if you read my story, thank you. thank you for giving me your time of the day, thank you for connecting with what i wrote, thank you for telling me in any way possible that you've enjoyed it. thank you. a writer must write, but theres not a lot of joy in talking to an empty room. you filled my small room with warmth and love and there's not enough words to express my gratitude for you all. thank you.

about my writing: i plan on FINALLY DOING THE MANY REQUESTS I HAVE IGNORED OVER THIS FINAL ACT OF BED OF ROSES - requests are still open, too! i'm also outlining a smaller roger x reader fic where she's one of the videographers on the news of the world documentary, so keep an eye out for that! i'm gonna open a permanent taglist for the requests (and eventual new fic), so if you want to be added, hit me up in the ask box/comments/inbox!

anyway i'll finally wrap up this chapter's note cause you have the final chapter to read. enjoy my loves

Words: nearly 4k

Warnings: none??? part of their dialogue is inspired by some of my favourite movies and books like her and the wife and almost famous and before sunrise and the fault in our stars and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and maybe more I DONT KNOW ITS BEEN AN EMOTIONAL RIDE OK I CANT EVEN REMEMBER WHERE DID I PULL THIS FROM EXACTLY. some errors too cause i didnt revise it completely my bad im crying ok

ACT 3 - DAWN

"It's the moment night time seems weaker and everything seems easier to figure out"

Chapter 21

Roger lit a cigarette in the train cabin, and tried to open the top window, the one you can usually pull open.

"Rog, it's not gonna open, you know", you told him as you watched him fiddling with the glass.

"I guess you're right. Hope you won't be bothered by the smoke", he said, taking a puff.

"I won't if you share it with me", you answered, and with a half smile on his lips, Roger lifted the cigarette to your lips, and you breathed in the smoke while looking at him through your lashes.

"Don't look at me like that. Especially if the cigarette smoke is going to leave the cabin sultry and hot", he told you, and you laughed.

"Yeah, and we won't do anything about it", you said, trying to make yourself more comfortable in your seat.

"And why is that?", he asked, batting his lashes innocently at you, you you lightly elbowed his ribs.

"We need to do something else, something we've been ignoring the whole trip", you said, and he raised his brow. "We need to talk about us", you told him, and he breathed out, smoke coming out of his nose.

"I guess you're right again", he said, then slid a bit down on his seat.

You didn't think much about talking about your future with Roger while in Paris, so now has to be the time, on a train that will take you to London and to a whole month of Roger being away, promoting News Of The World.

While in Paris, you never talked to Roger about the future, and talks of the past where subtle - you talked about how you felt with the development Doctor Who took over the years, but didn't think much about the fact that you were separate during years of the show.

You enjoyed the city, but most of all, you enjoyed each other's presence, not only going to museums, churches and castles around you, following them up with fancy dinners and walks along the Seine, but you also spent time inside the room, in your pajamas, ordering take out from restaurants you found on the phone book, having a hard time trying to speak french as Roger tickled the sole of your feet and kept trying to distract you.

You would always remember the peace you felt as you ate cheap chinese food on Roger's shirt on the balcony at night, the Eiffel Tower shining over your meal and Roger's electric blue eyes as he hummed early David Bowie's songs under his breath, or how at home you felt sitting on the couch, Roger on the floor with his head on your lap, his soft strands on your fingers as you tried to braid them while watching re-runs of I Dream of Jenie, Roger focused, trying to understand the french dubbing until he noticed what you were doing.

"Babe, are you trying to braid my hair? Think I'd look better if I'd look more girly?", he said, moving his head back so he can look at you.

"Yeah. Always thought so, but I'll have to keep imagining, since your hair is too short to braid", you pouted, and he laughed.

"Don't you like my new hair, then?", he asked, pouting back, and you moved your head to his level so you could press a quick kiss to his lips.

"I love it, Rog. Especially cause since it's shorter, it looks even messier after I pull it", you said, and he smirked. "My favourite look of yours is when you're all dishevelled after sex", you winked, teasing him.

"That's my favourite, too", he said, turning completely around and pulling you in for a kiss, his hand on the back of your neck.

But now, while in the smoke filled train cabin, you needed to make a few things clear.

"I've been avoiding this for a reason", he said, looking out the window, and you raised your brow, waiting for him to explain. "I have this weird, innate fear of you telling me it's all good but you don't want to see me again, or something", he said, and you gave him a half smile.

"I don't want to do this, Rog. And I won't do it", you told him, and he sighed in relief.

"Even though loving you is a bit complicated, I'll admit. Especially if you're me", you shrugged, and he turned to you, confused.

"Let me explain. I loved your idea for a bed of roses, a few days ago, cause it can exemplify our relationship so well. The roses feel so good against the skin, the smell is so intoxicating, it looks so beautiful - maybe too beautiful, ethereal, even. But then there's always a few thorns here and there, and they hurt so much when they lodge themselves on my skin, but I'm so intoxicated by the whole experience that I don't mind - I convince myself that it's nothing, and even that it's already part of me already, cause the thorns fit so perfectly on me, on my little stabs made by myself, by my own insecurities", you say, and he stares at you.

"What I'm trying to say is that every minute that I'm with you always distract me from the issues that come with being with you - the fact that there's a few expectations that come with being your serious girlfriend, be them always travelling with you while we're young, or eventually staying home once we have kids, knowing that you'll eventually cheat on me with a younger version of myself, while I'm too tired of taking care of the babies to even think about my sexual needs", you said, and you watched him frown.

"I'm not sure where you're going with this-", he started saying, but you cut him off.

"Let me finish, I promise it will get better", you said, fixing your posture as you start again. "But the thing is, I love you. I always have, ever since I started talking to you, you always trying to outflirt me, always seeing me as your equal. You desire me, but you also listen and see me as another human being, you never back down or ignore me if I challenge one of your beliefs, and you never treat me as a trophy-wife-to-be", you say, and you can feel your eyes fill with tears, but you're smiling. That's what you always loved about Roger. He smiled back at you.

"And because I love you, I don't want to deny myself the pleasure of being with you. I'd rather be in a bed of roses than in an empty bed - or worse, a blank bed, someone being there just so it's less cold at night. I want to be with you, Rog", you say, and he pulls you in for a hug, and you hold him back for a few moments before pulling away and looking at him in the eye.

"But also because I love you and I want to be with you, Rog, I don't want us to try to fit into this type of relationship I just mentioned. I don't want you to make me the other woman, either, when you eventually find someone so you can settle down, if it's not me" you said, rubbing your nose. "I guess I want to settle down with you, eventually, as we planned before, but this whole thing - living together and cheating if we're away for too long - it kills me, and I think it kills you, too. I respect you too much to want to cheat on you again, cause if I ever do and you never find out, I'll lose respect for you, and the same thing will happen if you cheat on me and I don't find out. And these are ugly truths, but this isn't our first time together; we know each other, we need to think about this", you told him, and he nodded.

"And I need to make it clear that I'll never be a simple rockstar housewife - I'll never be able to quit my job and look out for the kids while you travel the world and I make them lunch. I'll never be able to sit down on a dinner table on some award show with you and when someone asks me what I'll do, I'll smile as I say I'm a king-maker. I'm not", you said, firmly.

"And I'll never be satisfied with dumb spa and shopping trips as you do the actual work when we travel. If I have to live this life, I'll resent you, and I don't want that. I like being domestic with you, but this type of forced domesticity will poison us again - we're both too wild, too career-focused, for this. We've always been similar", you said, and he gave you a smile as you sighed. "I guess that's all I have to say", you shrugged, and he laughed. "Not much, right?", he said, running his fingers on his hair, pulling the strands back.

"Guess it's my turn now", he said, and you nodded, encouraging him. "When I saw you again, at the pub, there was so much that I wanted to say. I mostly wanted to apologize - it got lost as I got infatuated with you again, and tried to get you in bed - you know, usual stuff", he winked, and you laughed.

"But yeah, I kept looking at you while you updated me on your life, your skin glooming under the stars and the moonlight, and I couldn't stop thinking about all the things I wanted to apologize to you for. All the pain we caused each other. Everything I put on you. Everything I needed you to be or needed you to say. Cause no matter what - even if you had decided on never seeing me again after all this - I'll always love you, because we grew up together. And you helped make me who I am", he said, moving strands of your hair behind your ear.

"I just want you to know that there will always be a piece of you in me, always. Whatever someone you become, wherever you are in the world, however this" he said, pointing his finger to the two of us "works out, in whatever form it might take", he said, sighing "I'll always send you love. Before being anything else to me - and I hope to God you're always something more - you'll always be my friend, to the end", he told you, and the tears were already streaming down your cheeks. His cheeks soon mirrored yours.

"And now, after you so eloquently told me all your fears about our future, I need you to know something else, too", he said, as you wiped the tears under your eyes. "I always loved you for being the way you are. You always challenge me, you always make me work harder, try harder, to be better. And it's not even something you force me to do; I just follow your lead. The way you look was what first got into me, I won't lie, but the way you are is what made me stay. It's what will always make me stay", he said, a genuine smile on his lips. He made you feel warm, like the sun.

"You're the smartest person I know, you're funny, you enjoy sex, you're unapologetic, you're proud of who you are, even proud of your insecurities. And you have such a huge importance in my life: you made me who I am. Whatever way you want to make us work, I trust you. I just want to be with you, in whatever form it takes", he said, smiling, and then getting up and opening his bag.

"I forgot to give you something", he said, pulling a string out of the front pocket. You recognized the red glimmer. It was the heart necklace. "It's still yours to keep. Even though it's not in its original glory, it will always be yours. The necklace and my heart", he said, and you couldn't help but smile at him.

"Always so cheesy, Taylor", you said, joking as you moved your hair to the side so he could put the necklace on.

"You always loved it", he winked, and you laughed. "I do", you said, smiling.

"So, what does it all mean? Where are we?", you asked, and he shrugged. "Wherever you want us to be. I just hope that you keep me around", he told you sincerely.

"I will. So, we're not going back to our old ways, right? We're not back at sharing a flat and stuff", you said, and he nodded. "Sure".

"And you're going to spend a month away, all around the world. I don't want you to feel pressured not to cheat", you said, and he nodded again.

"Yeah, and you're back in London, starting a new job. I don't want you to be worried, too", he said.

"So, maybe no exclusivity, this time? At least not now. This is still debatable, in the future", you said, and he agreed.

"Makes sense. But I'll have a hard time desiring anyone but you", Roger said in a low voice, and you laughed to break any mood that might have settled. You needed to get things clear before making out in the train cabin.

"Me too, Rog. But I don't want to create any expectations of loyalty because we know each other too well, and I don't want a stupid fight to break this thing we're building together", you said.

"It's a good idea. So, no titles, too? I can't call you my girlfriend?", he said, and you laughed.

"You can, if you want to", you told him, and he pulled you closer to him.

"Good, cause I want to call you that on the News of the World launch party, that I'm hoping you'll go as my date", he said, pressing a kiss on top of your head, breathing in your fruity smell.

"Of course I'll go. I need to see the boys again", you told him, and he laughed.

"So you're not going for me, then?", he pouted, and you laughed again.

"No, I'm just going so I can meet Deacy's kid", you told him, and it was his turn to laugh.

Once you got to London, Roger offered to go to the airport alone - he had to get on his flight, and he was late. He knew you had to go home and get ready for work tomorrow, but you wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.

He looked relieved when you got on a cab with him to Heathrow.

"Big day tomorrow, huh", he said, rubbing your arm.

"Yeah, I still can't believe I'm finally going to work at the British Museum. It's so surreal, it feels like a dream. Like I'm living someone else's life", you said, looking out at the window, the early sunday morning reminding you of fresh starts - you were in the middle of one.

"Well, it's your life, and it's your job, cause you deserve it, babe. I never met someone who worked so hard to get where they want", Roger said, smiling, proud.

"I did. You and the boys", you said, and he huffed. "Guess you're right. Me and that pack of idiots, we turned out okay", he joked.

Once you got to the airport, you followed him to his gate.

You were feeling nervous - you had him for a week, and now it's time to say goodbye again.

You're both aware that the rest of the band is already waiting impatiently in the jet, but you can't help it - you hug him, dropping your luggage on the floor, and he does the same, the hug soon turning into a kiss as you rub your hands on each other's body, as if you're trying to remember how every inch of the other feels like, as if you're both about to disappear.

But the airport worker clears her throat, and you break the kiss, looking at each other longingly.

"Don't say goodbye", you beg Roger, putting your hand on his lips as he opens his mouth.

"See you soon", he says between your fingers. You smile at him, grateful he found a way with words so you're not repeating the same old goodbyes.

"See you soon, Roger", you say, hugging him again for a few seconds, just trying to capture every detail - his smell, the feeling of his arms around you, his body against yours.

And once he has to go into the jet, you go to the glass wall, and you can swear you see some familiar faces from the windows of the jet.

But before you can focus, soon Roger's well known face takes over the window you're watching, and he puts a hand on the glass.

You can't help but think about the last time you did that with him, him being on your place as you were inside the plane, moving to another country, your heart weighing down on you, filled with doubts.

But now your heart warmed you up, filled with joy and love, and you could feel Roger's crystal heart on top of your chest. He was right. There would be always a piece of him on you, too.

Epilogue: News of the World Launch Party

"Y/N! You're back!" Brian's voice welcomed you to the ballroom.

You squeezed Roger's hand - it was the first time you saw the band in years, and you couldn't help but feel a bit nervous about it.

"Darling, you're really back! We thought Roger was getting high too often and hallucinated a week in Paris with you. But I guess you did come back to him", Freddie said, hugging you by the side as he held a glass of champagne on his other hand.

"I'm back with him only so I can see you all again, of course", you said, winking at Roger as he pretended to be offended.

But then you heard Deacy and Veronica scream your name in unison, and you turned to see them.

"So you're really back!!" Deacy said, but your eyes were on the baby boy on his lap.

"This is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.", you said, trying to get his attention. Roger looked at you, adoringly, as you moved your eyes to Veronica.

"Ronnie!! You're so big!" you said, trying to hug her through her belly. "It's coming out in a few months! It's a boy, Michael. Someone our young Rob can play with", she said, and Roger frowned.

"I could swear it was a girl", he said, and John smiled. "Maybe next time", he said.

"Hey, Bob. Do you want to play with me? C'mon", you said, and he motioned to go to your arms. You picked him up as he started playing with your hair.

"You'd be a good mom, Y/N", Veronica said, and you got tense. "God, Ronnie, don't even joke about this", you said, and Roger chuckled. "It's a sensitive topic at the moment", he explained.

"The moment will take quite some time, you know", you told him, the youngest Deacon pulling your earring before playing with the crystal heart on your neck.

You talked to the boys and Veronica for a while, updating each other, but no one brought up how you and Roger got back together. It just felt natural - no need to question.

You stayed with Roger for the whole night - behind the cameras as he did press, by his side during dinner - where he was back at his old ways, teasing you lightly with his hand under the table. You felt good in his arms, getting back into his life.

He was interested in getting back into your life, too. He came back to London last night, and went straight to dinner with you. You were trying different food, and now was time to try Indian food.

As he ate his Chicken Tikka Masala, dipping the naan in the sauce, you invited him for a party your bosses would be throwing next month to celebrate a new exhibit.

He gave you a bright smile. "I'd love to be your date, my love", he said.

And after the Deacons went home - Robert was asleep on his father's lap - the party got louder, the dance floor more full. You could swear you saw an angular face that could only belong to Bowie pick someone to dance - was this Princess Leia? - but before you could process the whole situation, Roger pulled you to dance.

"Thought you didn't dance, Mr Taylor", you told him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you tried to slow dance to All The Young Dudes, by Mott The Hoople.

"I don't dance very well, indeed. But it's just an excuse to be so close to you in public, and God, I'm dying to call you Ms Taylor", he said, and you chuckled.

"Take it slower, Rog", you told him, and he leaned in to rest his head on the curve of your neck. "And why do you want to be close to me in public? Is it still one of your weird fetishes?", you joked, and you felt him laugh against your skin.

"No, it's just that you've been killing me with this dress of yours, and you've been killing a lot of the guys here, too. Could swear I saw Bowie checking you out", he told you, and you gasped.

"Taylor, don't even joke about this. I'd have a heart attack", you said, and he laughed. "You'd leave me here for Bowie, is that it?", he asked, and you laughed.

"Of course not. I just have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he might acknowledge my existence", you said, and it was his turn to laugh. "The only eyes I really like to feel on me when I look away are yours, Rog", you said, and he gave you a quick kiss.

"Okay, had enough of trying to dance. Let's get some fresh air", he told you, and you followed him to the balcony.

As the cold, fresh air brushed against your exposed skin, you heard the first notes to Tiny Dancer, by Elton John. You walked to the balcony, leaning in and taking in the view of London at night.

Roger soon took you into his arms, hugging you from behind, and you felt safe, his body heart making you warm in the cold evening as he jokingly whispered "Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man" into your ear, and you scoffed. "Slower, Taylor", you told him, and he laughed.

"However you want it, babe", he said, now paying attention to the view, focusing on the feeling on you in his arms again. Finally.

But oh how it feels so real

Lying here with no one near

Only you and you can hear me

When I say softly, slowly

"I could die right now, Y/N. I'm just... happy. I've never felt this type of happiness before. I'm just exactly where I want to be", Roger said in his husky voice, and you nodded lightly in agreement.

Because in Roger's arms, you feel home. You feel what you hoped to feel for years - what got you to move to London in the first place. You feel like you belong.

---

1988 Special

Taglist:

@taylorroger-s @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @its-nessi @anamcg317 @frenchieswiftie @queen-danielle-dani-dan @minihemo @shutup-sorry @theyrealllegends @killerqueenisthebest @ashagracelove @hardy-s @fuckinghurricanesoul @secretsweetscollectionblog @mrswinterhater @11mb0 @tamtam-go92 @derptatosaur @brianandthemays @phantom-fangirl-stuff @the-hysterical-queen @rogerofmylife @notevenlxvely @discodeakyy @x1975sos @16wiishes @jennycidesstuff @partydulce @melros-e @onevisionliz

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loststormtrooper · 6 years ago

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Ive been slowly reading the Splinter Cell books and im almost finished the third one and I have complaints

Spoiler warning I guess for books that are over 10 years old if anyone cares about them.

So the first book was great. They got one of the bond writers to do it and it was so good. Splinter Cells identities have been leaked and Sam Fishers life is at stake throughout the whole thing because for the first time ever, the enemy know who he is. His chapters are in first person which makes everything feel so much more personal. All the other chapters following other characters are in third which gives this nice cutscene kind of feeling that games have when they show something your character wouldnt know. Its a book series based on a game, it just felt right. Sam's daughter gets kidnapped because The Shop (big bad weappns company) wants to stop Third Echelon from getting in the way of their sales and Sam is the one who is trying to stop them and stop them from doing deals with The Shadows which are trying to get the US out of the middle east so their country can take over another. Fisher ends up disrupting these deals and saves his daughter. But like, how it goes is so well. Sams daughter gets invited overseas with her friend and they both ger drugged and kidnapped by someone they thought was their friend! The stakes are high af because they killed off the friend and are going to kill Sams daughter and him if he cant stop all this stuff from happening. And theres the whole war nuclear weapon deals going on that he also has to stop. So good.

Anna Grimsdotir isnt present in this book because they need wiggle room for the next book and shes replaced with Carly who is also an analyst. Theres this nice tight nit friendship between Sams team at Third Echelon with Lambert, Carly, Sam, and and Mike that sets things up for the next book. Also Sams Grav Maga teacher, they flirt a bit, nice side story which leads into the next book. Pretty much everything leads into the next book because even though Sam defeated The Shadows, The Shop is still a major weapons dealer and have the identities of other Splinter Cells and needs to be stopped.

So next book, Operation Barracuda. Sam and his team need to find out who leaked the Splinter Cells information and stop The Shop. Uh oh! It was Mike and he had to kill Carly IN THE THIRD ECHELON OFFICE because she was about to figure out it was him and he escapes and the Triad offer to get him out of the country, he just has to get to the right place and theyll fly him out. Good setup for these cat and mouse chapters where and FBI agent is trying to keep up with Mike. Also Mike was actually planted in Third Echelon years ago and he and his brother have deals with the Triad to sell stuff which The Shop does t like because theure supposed to sell things to them and then they sell to the Triad.

All of these bad guys have one goal though. Theyre dealing with a rogue chinese general that wants to invade Hong Kong. So theres all this infighting and build up to when people, even the bad guys, start to figure more stuff about the other groups. The Triad, being in Hong Kong, dont want to be invaded, but the deals theyve done with bad guy general have provided him with a nuckear submarine that he threatens to detonate on the US coast unless they withdraw from Taiwan.

During all of this that krav maga teacher and Sam have had a few dates and are at Sams place. But when they are walking down the street she is gunned down and Sam is forced to leave her dead body on the street with people around because he cant risk being having anyone looking into who he is, even local police and government because he is in a secret agency. Amazing side story. It's a lot like the side stuff with his daughter in the first book, it gives him more motive outside of it just being a job, these people have killed 2 of his friends, one of which he was really into.

Back to bad guy stuff. FBI guy gets killed by Mikes brother after he goes into a shady place to arrest him. The triad are already there and hes just dead now. But he did arrest Mike so they got info from him which leads same to the Triad. In a pretty cool turn of events the general invades but theres no one to stop him! Oh wait! The Triad takes arms and fights off his army and its rad. Sam had gone into that shady building (just remembered its a night club) and gave them information about the generals attack and then left. It was a different chapter because he wasnt being stealthy, he just walked in and demanded to speak to people and it worked. When all this general vs Triad stuff is happening, Sam is dealing with The Shop. The general is defeated, the leak for the Splinter Cell information is in custody, and The Shop is finally shut down!

Next book... set before the first and has a new writer. All of it is in third person and it doesnt feel like the first for obvious reasons. Theres a handful of spelling errors spread throughout which really take you out of it because now youre thinking about this spelling error.

Starts with Sam having to sneak onto a ship thats going to crash onto the US coast and its packed with radioactive material or bombs? It wasnt clear to me. But he stops it and gets out. Its a pretty one track story whereas the other two books had a handful of stuff going on and it all worked neatly. Third Echelon need to know where the nuclear stuff came from to know who did it. He sneaks back on the ship which is under quarantine and takes a sample or something? There was something about having to get engine manufactuing codes to find out where the ship had done repairs and see where it came from but that branching plot just ends later in the book when Lambert says that his analysts found out where it was from. Sam need to find out where nuclear stuff came from. For reasons i cant remember because nothing in this book is worth remembering half the time, Sam has to go to Chernobyl to collect radiated material to see if they match. Thats not the unmemorable part, how they decided to go there to find it specifically is. Anyway, its a match and they figure out who did it and why by knowing who made the ship and how they got the nuclear material. The whole Chernobyl bit could have been better. It didnt feel like anything was at stake. And there was this awkward side story with a woman who helped him get into the dangerous areas unnoticed where theyd flirt and nothing would come of it and then theres nothing else about her ever again.

Then theres all this stuff of Sam infiltrating other places which leads him to another place which leads him to another place. Its very linear and theres a few chapters where he sneaks into a private island thats impossible to sneak onto but he does and it doesnt feel like anything is at stake. The whole book is about having to find out who did this one almost bombing and poisoned a whole towns water supply with radiated material, making it a wasteland, before the US declares war on the wrong nation for ot. But every time they get more information, they suddenly have more time and need to hurry, but then they do that and get more time but need to hurry! At one point they mention the president will declare war in 24 hours and im pretty sure its been like 4 days since then and nothing.

Also! Theres this terrible character cliche guy i hate. There's like 5 chapters spread out through the book where its this weird guy who is clearly the villain ( not bad guy or terrorist, hes just a bad villain) that talks all fancy and as if hes got this grand plan happening and keeps talking about chess and imagining chess moves after he gets new information. Its annoying and i hate him. Get a new character. It doesnt even have to be him, use one of the heads of the bad guy groups that are already established, god. I've got 6 chapters to go and Sam doesnt even know about that chess bad guy yet.

Tbh im considering skipping the next book because its the same writer and the Conviction books and Blacklist book are written by other people. It hasnt been release who i dont think though. Its all a pseudonym.

So i just finished Splinter Cell Checkmate. Its 2 days after i wrote that whole thing and it gets way better in the last 5 chapters. It was much more fast paced and actiony. The rest of the book was slow and not that interesting. There was a bit that brought back a character from earlier who was shot in the head but the bullet hit ar a weird angle and he was left to die. Sam found him and theres this nice calm part of the chapter of Sam trying to get him out without making his wound worse but he wasnt fast enough and he dies. Then Sam finally gets the location of the annoying chess bad guy with some information from now dead guy. It literally ended with Sam saying "...checkmate " to him which fealt really forced... they never met until now and Sam onlt mentioned chess once in the whole book besides that. I think he played it with a friend for a paragraph while they chatted. Epilogue was ok too. The woman who helped him into Chernobyl was in a wax museume and Sam rocks up with a passport for her to get out and fly back to the US with him. Was weird. They flirted maybe twice halfway through the book and then he rocks up with that. She didnt even know his name until the epilogue because he used an alias.

Anyway, first two books are great, third was super slow but ended ok.

#splinter cell #sam fisher #operation barracuda #checkmate

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sawyersick · 6 years ago

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1 through 69 because you gotta twin with me

OMG ASDFGHJKL

aight here goes bitchez

1. are you religious?

nahh but my parents sent me to church camp when I was in elementary school??? For the cheap childcare I guess???

2. what animal do you think you’re most like?

I haven’t thought about this much but I think a field mouse!!

3. how do you take your coffee?

never……………………… I hate coffee

4. how old were you when you had your first kiss?

my mom’s bosses son forced himself on me when we were 6 lol so I don’t count that……….. so 15 i guess (according to my friend, if there’s no hormones it doesn’t count lol)

5. museum date or aquarium date?

AQUARIUM AQUARIUM AQUARIUM

6. do you have any tattoos or piercings? do you want more?

Just my ears are pierced and I have a whale (badly) tattooed on my hip I’ll post pix if you want but its pretty uggo

I want another whale on the other side so I’ll be symmetrical and a triangle hand tat….. maybe an eyeball tat (a tattoo of an eyeball…. not one on my eye lol)? I’m not really interested in anymore piercings tho

7. favorite fruits?

strawberries!!!

8. favorite vegetables?

when I was 12 I ate so many carrots my skin turned orange and my mom thought I had jaundice

also I heckin love mushrooms

9. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if you treat me with respect :(

10. do you cry a lot?

yeah lol at least twice a month minimum

11. who are your closest friends?

I don’t really have any? I’ve felt distant from my irl friends lately so idk probably just demo

12. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

I did the walk out for gun violence

13. do you play any video games?

helllllls yeah but I usually only play 3/ds

14. did you ever have an emo or scene phase?

yes and I think I’m still in it rip

15. what color is most of your wardrobe?

I think I wear a lot of blue! and black and white too i guess…… I’m trying to add more reds tho

16. what do you like to do for fun?

I bake and sew and draw! and listen to music

17. what is your biggest fear?

body horror tw for this one rip

being abandoned, being forced to do horrifically gross/unclean stuff, getting my eyes gouged out, getting the bones in my hands broken, getting acid poured on my face, the people around me dying, being forced to eat live slugs, getting my skin peeled off with a knife

18. name a subject you know a lot about.

whales/the ocean in general and baking!! and the band Liily

19. favorite fictional characters?

hm idk? Link and Zelda from LoZ, Clover and Snake and Aoi from 999, rhyme from TWEWY, Maka and Soul from Soul Eater, Storm from the Xmen, Ariel from the Little Mermaid, Chun Li, the Kagamines, Rilakkuma

idk I just thought about characters I have merch for

20. do you read a lot? what are your favorite books?

I used to??? Haven’t had the time for it in a while though and I’ve been reading a lot of how-to books as of late….. I really liked the Legend trilogy though

21. how would you describe your style?

art style and fashion style would both be classified as “cute but tries to be edgy” I think

22. did you have a favorite stuffed animal when you were little? do you still own it?

Yes!! a pastel elephant with a rattle in it named Elephant (very creative I know) He’s in my stuff somewhere now and this question reminded me to go find him again

23. what’s something most people love that you hate?

hmmm…. sports? mustard? airpods???? idk

24. do you think you’re a good singer?

actually yes? I wanna be in a band but I’m lowkey afraid of singing in front of people I know but have no problem doing it in front of an audience of strangers hmu if you’re in the SF bay area I’ve written 6 punk songs

25. who do you live with?

my parents and cat

26. favorite desserts?

ice cream, anything with chocolate or whipped cream, creme brulee, lemon tarts

I’m not too picky though lol

27. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

realizing that I can actually do mostly whatever I want and most things have fewer consequences than I think

also cutting people out of my life that emotionally exhaust me

28. favorite makeup brands?

uhhhh whatever’s cheap and doesn’t make my eyes burn ig urban decay is good when I can afford it

29. favorite clothing stores/brands?

Goodwill??? I used to shop at f21 but I try not to anymore

30. what was your first job?

working at a lake teaching windsurfing and sailing and I still work there

31. do you take a lot of naps?

n o I absolutely h a t e taking naps and try to avoid them

32. what is your favorite part about your body?

hmm I have pretty good hair i think and sometimes my eyes? I have huge (genetic) eyebags tho which gets me down

33. are you more dominant or more submissive?

In day to day life I guess I’m more dominant??? like I make decisions when nobody else wants to :0 also idk intimately since iM aN aDuLt vIrGiN and pretty sex repulsed but probably sub

34. are you more outgoing or more shy?

outgoing but sometimes it makes me annoying

35. how tall are you?

short…………………………. 4′8/143 cm

36. what is your body type?

uhh hourglass????? maybe pear I got them Thunder Thighs according to the guy who got kicked out of drama club for peeping in the girls changing room

37. favorite flower?

calendula, sunflowers, lavender and dianthus!!

38. favorite planet?

Neptune??????????????????

39. what do you want to dress up as for halloween this year?

I wanna be the bride of frankentstein but in a shiro lolita coordinate to make her look ~fancy~ or the Nancy part of Sid and Nancy if I’m in a relationship by that time

40. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

Ideally the same age and I’m wary of dating anyone more than 2 years younger or older than me but I’m more willing to date older than younger

41. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

yall know who it is already but

in a band, dark hair, kinda tall, very fashionable, coincidentally happens to be the same racial mix as me, good at art, very humble, really sweet, lives in SoCal, has a hand tattoo of milk and “aye yah” on his arm, paints his nails orange, wears a lot of rings, gets freckles in the summer, prefers vanilla over chocolate, ties his shoes the cool way

42. who is your biggest inspiration?

idk at the moment? I like to draw from many inspirations

43. do you have any kinks?

???????????????????????????????????

44. do you own any pets?

one (1) very loving cat

45. which celebrity do people say you look the most like?

……………………….. myself

I literally had to google mixed race celebrities and STILL none look like me lol

46. do you like sports?

not really except I weirdly like baseball

47. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Yes!! I won tickets to On Your Feet and Charlie and The Chocolate Factory

I also won Hamilton tickets but saw it in SF yall should download the app

48. what is your favorite kind of food?

noodles!!

49. would you rather be a fairy or a mermaid?

MERMAID actually I have a mermaid tail too so

50. what is your instagram?

@wishwhale :)

51. glossy lips or matte lips?

glossy by default because I have chronically dry skin/lips so matte lips are sooooooooooooooo uncomfy but it looks good on other people lol

52. do you like cherry, grape, blue raspberry, watermelon, or green apple jolly ranchers the best?

grape because im weird

53. what are your best personality traits?

I’d like to think that I’m kind and sometimes funny

54. what is your ethnicity?

asian/white

55. what different hair colors have you had?

brown and brown with pink that was supposed to be purple

56. favorite disney princess?

Ariel! bc mermaid

57. favorite album of 2017?

Humanz by Gorillaz or Deep Dream by Daddy Issues I guess

I was weirdly obsessed with Feel Your Feelings Fool when it came out but I’m not really into it anymore though

58. have you ever had braces?

nah

59. favorite holiday?

Halloween! Because dressing up is fun

60. post a selfie.

how do I make this smaller anyways I don’t normally wear this much makeup but I’m going to a small show tonight

61. are you a good swimmer?

Yes!! I swim once a week at my local pool

62. do you wear jewelry?

I used to wear a lot………. like multiple necklaces and bracelets and rings daily but now I wear my ring every day and a necklace/earrings if I remember

63. can you play any instruments?

I’m learning guitar!!

64. do you have any siblings?

short answer is no but you can dm me for the long answer

65. are your grandparents still alive? how old are they?

just my maternal grandmother and she is almost 90! My paternal grandmother lived to 102 so I’m hoping for those good genes though (I think she would have lived longer because my family suspects elder abuse by my weird aunt)

66. who knows the most about you?

hmm probably Demo or Emily

67. are you a more quiet person or do you talk a lot?

I! Never! Shut! Up!

68. what advice would you give to your 13 year old self?

shut the fuck up you stupid bitch you arent cool

69. how many pillows do you sleep on?

two

#ask #ask meme #my face #shut up sawyer #long post #loooooooooooooooong post

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aegissi · 6 years ago

Text

50 questions tag 💕

I was tagged by @sophrosynes (this took me like a month im sorry)

1. what takes up too much of your time? definitely social media n looking at kpop stuff or youtchube videos :////

2. what makes your day better? nowadays the only thing that will always lift my mood is working out bc of all those chemicals

3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today? i procrastinated today so i didn’t do much sjgvdfhdbk i did an arm workout tho and it was so satisfying to be able to do all the moves without a break bc it shows that im getting stronger n i luv that

4. what fictional place would you like to go? the house in my neighbor totoro bc it just looks nice and peaceful

5. are you good at giving advice? i think i am but ultimately the receiver decides if the advice was indeed good or not

6. do you have any mental illness? hahahahahahhaa yea maybey probably im seeing a therapist anyway

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no it sounds very intriguing tho n i was surprised that so many people experienced it

8. what musician inspired you the most? epik high and 2ne1 :(((

9. have you ever fallen in love? nah i don’t think so,, im more of a “intricate daydreams abt romantic scenarios that won’t ever happen” type girl

10. what’s your dream date? roberta im litcherally the same sjgdvfjbhk so yea museum or art gallery and then going to a place to talk,, i think a picnic would be nice too??

11. what do others notice about you? well first off they notice im #asian asfhjdg and also like my eyes i think? especially if i put on makeup (tbh i don’t even think that people notice things abt me)

12. what is the annoying habit you have? i always hum or sing-song randomly,, i personally don’t find it annoying but maybe others would ig

13. do you still talk to your first love? my first crush is a business major now so no lmaooo

14. how many ex’s do you have? zero

15. how many songs are on your playlist? 182 on my current tunes playlist but i have like 30 playlists in total

16. what instruments can you play? none unfortunately :// (i want to learn gayageum tho bc it sounds cool)

17. who do you have the most pictures of? 80% of my phone galleries are selfies bc i Love Myself

18. where would you like to go before you die? i want to go to a place where there’s a lot of snow n it’s really white n quiet

19. what is your zodiac? capricorn babey!!

20. do you relate to it? yea im very earthy n i like money

21. what is happiness to you? being at peace and not worrying,,, just being in the moment n enjoying it to its fullest

22. are you going through anything right now? yea but a bitch is gonna survive as always

23. what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? i don’t really remember and i don’t even want to bc thats not useful to my growth

24. what’s your favorite store? there’s a vintage store i really like and also artbox in korea,,, they have so much stuff i almost bought the whole stationary section

25. what’s your opinion on abortion? it should be as safe as possible for the people who choose to have one

26. do you keep a bucket list? yea but i always forget what i put on it anyway and i end up remaking it every year rsgjbjkf i do have a bucket list for the month tho!!

27. do you have a favorite album at the moment? not really i feel like it’s been a while since i last listened to an album in its entirety

28. what do you want for your birthday? a hair straightener bc my bangs are currently out of control

29. what are most people’s first impression of you? i have no idea honestly but i think it’s mostly good? but i can appear kinda distant bc i am quite distant if im not feeling the person

30. what age do you seem according to most people? i look my age tbh i’ve never had anyone give me more at least

31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? on my desk or charged near my bed

32. what word do you say the most? uuuuhh idk but i write “okey” a lot by texts shfdbhkf

33. what’s the oldest age you would date? like 22?? i don’t like huge age gaps

34. what’s the youngest age you would date? people born in december 2000 sjbhkdb otherwise ur babey

35. what job/career do most people say would suit you? one of my best friends used to tell me i would be a good therapist but i feel like thats bc im a good listener?? other than that idk (i asked my parents once n they were like. just do what u want zjvhjgbfk thats not helpful!!!)

36. what’s your favorite music genre? the type of music they put in chill study music playlists on youtube honestly (and also anything that sounds gay. i luv disco sm u guys don’t even know)

37. if you could live in any country in the world where would it be? korea bc i need yakult and karaokes

38. what is your current favorite song? shine by pentagon bc i relate to the lyrics now sgdbkjfnkjb

39. how long have you had this blog for? uuuhh i wanna say 2 years??

40. what are you excited for? my paris trip with my friends!!!!!!!

41. are you a better talker or listener? im a good listener but i luv talking bc i luv attention,,,, but im also not very eloquent most of the time??? so im gonna go with listener

42. what is the last productive thing you did? not 2 repeat myself again but working out (im a jock i tell u)

43. what do you want for christmas? money would be nice

44. what class do you get the best grades in? according to my exam results it’s english but i had good grades in physics in hs and also in literature

45. on a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? a solid 4.5

46. what can you see yourself doing in 10 years? in a nice apartment with lots of plants and wearing a long white dress while playing the ukulele to my flower bouquets

47. when did you get your first heartbreak? ay it’s always been broken fellas 🤠🤠 if we wanna get more specific i’d say first year of high school during my first friendship breakup

48. at what age do you want to get married? honestlé? i don’t wanna get married,, to me it just seems like another thing to be trapped in and i value my independance too much

49. what career did you want to have as a child? i wanted to be a vet bc i loved animals!! i also wanted to be a jedi too but thats smth else entirely

50. what do you crave now? affection/purpose/peace/blueberry muffin/tteokbokki with cheese

im tagging: @1fancafe @twejoon @ilovemeghan @flowerene @scy @rainmv @jinseas (idk who did this already but ignore if u want to sgjdbgkfn)

#this was kinda long shbfkdbnl #tag

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green-eyeddragonfanfiction · 7 years ago

Text

War of Attrition: Chapter 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x Reader Summary: Best friends with Steve Rogers, renowned Howling Commando, and married to one James Buchanan Barnes, your life wasn’t perfect, but it was as close as it could possibly be in the middle of World War II. Then you fell from a train in the Alps, and everything changed. You spent nearly 70 years as a tool of Hydra alongside your beloved, though your past with him was more often than not forgotten. Steve wakes up the 21st Century. He tries his best to adjust. Warnings: Swearing (always), talk of death Word Count: ~4,312 A/N: English is back to normal quotes. Russian and other languages (when they eventually show up again) will be in quotes and italics.

Masterlist // Book One // Book Two

Next Chapter

Steve’s POV

2012 - New York, New York. United States of America

Steve supposed he should be happy. He was alive, after all. He’d survived an alien invasion... and seventy years on ice.

By all accounts, he was lucky.

Fortunate, even.

But the more he walked around New York, the less he recognized it. The neighborhood he’d grown up in was almost unrecognizable. The building he technically owned thanks to (Y/N) and Bucky’s gift all those years ago- the building he’d lived in for years- had been torn down and replaced decades ago in an attempt to fix the structural unsoundness of the growing cityscape. It was a hideous design Steve had learned to recognize as being from the 70′s.

As a show of good will, Tony (he couldn’t call him “Stark,�� not in his head. Howard would always be “Stark.”) had hired some lawyers and gotten the current owners of the building to settle and give Steve a check that had his eyes widening so much Tony actually seemed concerned they’d pop out of his head. Steve had wordlessly handed the check back to him and told him to donate it to charity or something.

Tony had deposited half into Steve’s bank account and given the other half to various charities, all approved of by Steve first.

Steve didn’t check his bank account. Between that disgustingly huge check and the back pay from technically never leaving the army, Steve had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of his life. Considering he grew up the poor son of a single mother (and an immigrant, at that), Steve had no idea what to do with all of the money he suddenly found in his possession. He probably couldn’t spend it all if he tried. Inflation still messed with his head, though. He still picked pennies up out of habit, constantly forgetting they were essentially worthless now.

The technology was the worst, though. They’d tried to give him a “cell phone” but he’d given up on trying to use it beyond pressing the green button when someone called him and plugging it into the outlet on the wall to charge at night. He hadn’t had a telephone back in the 40′s. His building didn’t even have one, old as it was. He’d had to go to the lobby of the building next to his to make a call, not that he usually needed to. The only people he really talked to back then were his ma and Bucky and he was inside so often due to his health that his mother was never far and Bucky had no trouble finding him.

Computers were a different beast altogether but he’d grudgingly forced himself to learn how to use one. This, at least, had a keyboard that reminded him of a typewriter. With a little help from Natasha (he refused to ask Tony for help. The man’s techno-babble just confused Steve more) he learned how to “surf the internet”. He spent more time on Wikipedia than any other sight, but found himself on Youtube fairly often, too. The internet, at least, was helpful in learning just about anything Steve had questions about.

A video played on the screen; old propaganda videos of Steve running around the battlefield, searching bombed-out towns, and talking to important people that he remembered really disliking. It was stupid. All of it was stupid.

It was war. It wasn’t anything like this narrator made it sound. He was scared a lot. Sometimes for other people, sometimes for himself. He saw an innumerable measure of people get hurt.

Hurt his fair share himself.

He clicked the laptop off and stared at his own reflection off the screen in the dim morning light. The sudden silence did little to calm his thoughts, though the sounds of the city waking up outside was familiar, at least.

He finally looked at the file on the table, trepidation gathering low in his gut. He hadn’t looked at it yet, too afraid of what he might find. He flicked it open before he could stop himself again, heart immediately clenching painfully at the first page on the small pile.

James Morita. Deceased.

It only got worse.

James Montgomery Falsworth. Deceased.

Gabriel Jones. Deceased.

Jacques Dernier. Deceased.

Timothy Aloysius Cadwallader Dugan. Deceased.

Steve swallowed past the lump in his throat. He’d expected as much. He’d gotten a few letters from Dum Dum and Gabe’s family, but none from the people themselves. He was sure they’d have contacted him by now if they knew he was alive.

And everyone knew he was alive.

He was all over the news with the other “Avengers” (as people had started calling them). Not a single soul around the world didn’t know he was back.

He knew they were dead, but seeing it written plain as day on paper in bright red ink was something else entirely.

He wanted to stop and shove the papers back into the folder, but the next sheet below Dum Dum’s caught his eye.

Margaret Carter.

Steve hardly dared to breathe as he took in the next words.

Retired.

He scanned the page quickly.

Alive. Living in the UK. Safe.

A telephone number was listed, but Steve couldn’t bring himself to dial it. He stared at the phone despondently. It blinked back at him mockingly. She had a whole life without him. What right did he have to come bumbling into it now? He never got that dance but he was sure he still had two left feet anyway, new body be damned.

He wondered if she might have (Y/N) and Bucky’s things. He couldn’t imagine her letting anyone take them. He wouldn’t be surprised if she’d kept (Y/N)’s designs hidden from anyone and everyone.

He set her paper down and picked up the next one on the pile, heart dropping again.

Howard Stark. Deceased.

Steve added Stark’s to the pile and was surprised to see another beneath it. It was on glossy new paper, obviously unlike the others even at a glance.

Anthony Stark. Alive. Active- Adviser.

Steve set the page back down away from the rest and stared at it, his recent adventure flashing through his mind.

The world may not see the man underneath the stars and stripes anymore (if they ever did to begin with), but it seemed like they still needed the hero. He bickered with Tony and the others, but they also fought tooth and nail and put their lives on the line to save the world. They were odd enough in their own ways that Steve didn’t feel completely out of place.

Peggy was still here, too. He’d talk to her soon, just... not today.

He had to find a way to live in this new world.

The crush of people on the busy streets was familiar, even if all the technology and lack of politeness wasn’t.

Then again, maybe that wasn’t so different, either.

But the stalls sold things Steve couldn’t recognize. There were lots of wires and stacks of phones that Steve was fairly sure were at least partially illegal in some way. People had their noses buried in phones instead of newspapers and magazines. Cars inside buildings looked even more futuristic than the flying car Howard had shown off at the Stark Expo back in ‘41. He’d been inside a few by now and had to admit they were nice, but he’d still stick to his old motorcycle, thank you very much. Apparently a museum had Patriot on display, so he settled for a nice “old” Harley.

Still didn’t ride as nice as Patriot did, though.

Eventually he found his way to a coffee shop. This had been a cafe, too, back in the day, but it had obviously changed hands a few times over since he saw it last. He pulled his notebook and pen out of his pocket and began sketching, trying to capture the new, unfamiliar skyline of the city he grew up in.

“Waiting on the big guy?”

Steve glanced up from his sketch at the waitress, squinting a little bit against the sun. “Ma’am?” he asked, confused. Did she mean the president? Was she an agent? Was he supposed to meet someone here?

“Iron Man. Lotta people eat here just to see ‘im fly by,” she said, gesturing to the skyline behind her.

Steve stared at the building behind her, his gaze turning flat. “Right.” It took him a second to realize she was smiling at him and he leaned forward and grabbed his wallet out of his pocket. “Maybe another time.” He hadn’t realized how late it had gotten and he didn’t know if he could handle talking to someone right now, especially a pretty da- lovely woman.

“Table’s yours as long as you like. Nobody’s waiting on it,” she said with a conspiratory wink as she refilled his coffee. “Plus we’ve got free wireless,” she said as she walked away.

Steve frowned. “Radio?”

She smiled at him over her shoulder as though he’d told a funny joke and returned to tending the other customers.

“Ask for her number, you moron,” said one of the older men sitting at the table next to his. It was startling to think Steve was probably older than him.

Oh. Wireless. The internet. Right.

Steve got up a few minutes later. He didn’t ask for her number.

The train ride back to his place was quiet. The more he looked at people the more he realized he still didn’t dress quite right for the time. He looked out the window, but that didn’t help much, either. All he saw was the strange skyline and cars and signs that he didn’t recognize.

Loki may have been a calculating, evil megalomaniac, but he had one thing right: Steve was a man out of time.

2014 - Washington DC, United States of America

Steve walked slowly through the Smithsonian exhibit. It was weird seeing his face stretched ten feet high on the wall. Hell, it was weird that there was an exhibit for him at all. The bonds tour back in ‘41-’43 had been one thing, but this was something else entirely. His entire life as Captain America was on display for the world to see.

Steve Rogers wasn’t who all these people came to see. Not really. For the last seventy years he was a character on the screen or in a comic book, not a flesh and blood person. Steve didn’t regret joining the army or participating in Erskine’s experiment, but ever since he got his new body, all people saw was the hero Captain America, not the man Steve Rogers.

Although Steve thought he was pretty dang heroic before the serum, even if Bucky did have to fish him out of fights on occasion.

Bucky.

Steve bit back a sigh and focused back on the present, though that was difficult when memorabilia of the past surrounded him almost to the point of being suffocating.

“A symbol to the nation. A hero to the world. The story of Captain America is one of honor, bravery, and sacrifice.”

The voice came out of speakers in the ceiling, dramatic and inspiring, even as Steve rolled his eyes at the words.

He could imagine (Y/N) teasing him. “Brave? As if. You’re just too dumb not to run away from a fight, huh, Buck?”

Their faces were plastered on the wall next to his and the other Howling Commandos. “You got that right, Doll. Did I tell you about the one time he picked a fight with the Ghulie brothers two doors down? He was eight and they were eleven! Got the snot kicked out of him. Had to patch him up before his ma came home and chewed us both out.”

He frowned and pulled the baseball cap lower over his eyes. Maybe this hadn’t been the best idea.

“Denied enlistment due to poor health, Steven Rogers was chosen for a program unique in the annals of American warfare. One that would transform him into the world’s first super soldier.”

There were long display screens showing the physical difference between him before and after the serum, including some pretty embarrassing photos of him at camp Lehigh. Just next to those were pictures of the science team that worked on project Rebirth, Howard, Abraham, and (Y/N) beaming proudly in the front row. It was taken the morning of the experiment. It only felt like a few years ago, but nearly everyone in that photo was dead now.

He’d watched Abraham and (Y/N) die himself.

No, he’d let them die.

The crowd pushed him along. Mothers with yelling children didn’t have time for his brooding. Life marched on.

He walked past Patriot, Moxie, and Valor all side by side in glass cases. Apparently Moxie’s engine had been removed and replaced with a lookalike; it was years ahead of other electric engines so Stark and Peggy had removed it and kept it hidden away for safekeeping. Patriot was as large and imposing as ever, dwarfing Moxie by comparison. Valor looked as graceful and dangerous as he remembered, all classic curves and streamlined upgrades.

The huge mural with him and the Commandos drew his attention, though, and he found himself walking towards it even though he hadn’t told his feet to move.

Their gear was placed carefully on manikins and Steve wondered briefly if they shouldn’t be behind glass or something. His eyes drifted to (Y/N) and Bucky’s gear of their own accord. It wasn’t her original suit, obviously. Chances were that was Bucky’s spare coat, but the suit on the manikin representing her was guaranteed to be a fake. She trashed all her earlier prototypes and she’d fallen in the real one. Still, it was pretty convincing even to Steve’s trained eye. Howard probably helped make it before he died; he knew the design the best out of everyone besides (Y/N).

Dum Dum’s ridiculous bowler hat and Falsworth’s bright red beret nearly made Steve smile, his lips twitching up in a weird aborted motion before falling back down into a grimace.

He turned away from the haunting faceless manikins and perused the small side room full of (Y/N)’s inventions, smiling when he remembered a specific incident surrounding a gizmo or gadget.

More than once he thought about the way Coulson would fawn over the gadgets and the stories behind them if he were here. While he’d been mighty proud of his vintage card collection (”I just obtained a mint of Lady Liberty! They only printed a few hundred of her, you know!”), Steve knew the man would do just about anything to get his hands on (Y/N)’s inventions. She’d created nearly all of the Commando’s gear, after all. It was easy to sometimes take her genius for granted back then. Even though it was war, Steve never actually thought she’d die. She always seemed so indomitable, like Peggy.

Like Bucky.

Steve was moping again. He knew it. He’d been staring at the same wristwatch walky-talky for at least ten minutes, lost in his own head.

“-They earned their stripes, taking down Hydra: The Nazi rogue science division.”

The narrator’s voice floated through the door as more people came in the smaller room and Steve made a hasty retreat, not wanting to chance being spotted because he was in such tight quarters.

He felt a little more at ease in the large room...

Until his eyes fell on the memorials.

He walked towards it with a sense of determination he wasn’t sure he really felt.

“Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield.

(Y/N) (Y/L/N) met Steven Rogers when working on the program that would turn Rogers into the super soldier we know him as today and stayed friends with him ever since.

After being rescued by Steven Rogers, (Y/L/N) and Barnes fell in love and married one another while in Europe fighting Hydra, though their union was short-lived.

The Barneses were the only Howling Commandos to give their lives in service of their country.”

It seemed wrong to have their entire lives summarized in two paragraphs on a piece of etched glass. Their faces looked noble and so, so human and familiar that Steve couldn’t do anything but stare for a few long minutes.

“The Fallen Comrades” it read in huge script at the top. The left side was (Y/N)’s short biography, the right reserved for Bucky’s. The center was an etched carving of the two of them as they were on their wedding day, dressed as nicely as they could be, considering they were in the middle of war-torn Europe.

“James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes and (Y/N) (Y/M/N) “Lady Liberty” Barnes”

“When Bucky Barnes first met Steve Rogers on the playgrounds of Brooklyn, little did he know that he was forging a bond that would take him to the battlefields of Europe and beyond.”

Steve stared at that little snippet for much too long, mind flashing back to 1920′s Brooklyn, skinned elbows, bullies twice Steve’s size, and a knobby-kneed Bucky that hadn’t yet managed to grow into his big feet.

His gaze flicked to her side of the memorial, flashes of Camp Lehigh dancing behind his eyes.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N) met Steve Rogers while he was being evaluated for the super soldier program. She supported him from day one, not knowing that he’d one day save her life and lead her to her future husband, one James Buchanan Barnes.”

His eyes trailed back to Bucky’s side, his heart numb with loss at this point. He couldn’t stop reading if he tried.

“Born in 1917, James Barnes grew up the oldest child of four. An excellent athlete who also excelled in the classroom, Barnes enlisted in the Army shortly after the attack on Pearl Harbor. After winter training at Camp McCoy, Wisconsin, Barnes and the rest of the 107th shipped out to the Italian front. Captured by Hydra troops later that fall, Barnes endured long periods of isolation, deprivation, and torture. But his will was strong. It was also during this time that he met his future wife (Y/N) (Y/L/N), and often protected her from the horrors their Hydra captors inflicted upon them. In an ironic twist of fate, his prison camp was liberated by none other than his childhood friend Steve Rogers, now Captain America. Reunited, Barnes and Rogers led Captain America’s newly formed unit, the Howling Commandos. Barnes’ marksmanship was invaluable as Rogers and his team destroyed Hydra bases and disrupted Nazi troop movements throughout the European Theater. -Bucky Barnes- 1917-1944″

He turned back to her side, his heart heavy and his mind sluggish.

“Born in 1916, (Y/N) (Y/L/N) was orphaned at a young age. What would have broken lesser people, though, only fueled (Y/N)’s determination to succeed. It was through sheer force of will that she became one of the brightest minds of her time. She’s now recognized widely to have been a key factor to the Super Soldier Program and equal to Howard Stark in technological advancement. She worked closely with Doctor Abraham Erskine and Howard Stark to bring Erskine’s work to life in the form of one Steven Rogers, Captain America. The universe has a strange sense of humor, though. She was kidnapped along with the men of the 107th. In nothing short of a miracle, she met her future husband, Bucky Barnes, while imprisoned. With both of his friends in enemy clutches, it was no surprise that Steve Rogers liberated the base, saving them both. She joined Barnes and Rogers and the other Howling Commandos on the front, often providing technical support, weaponry, and combat advice for the team. She was the only female member of the Howling Commandos and was never officially a member of the American Army, though she received full honors regardless. -(Y/N) Barnes- 1916-1944“

It was more than most people got, he supposed.

You had empty graves, though. Steve wondered if Peggy had (Y/N)’s flag, or if it had gone home to the Barnes household. Steve liked the thought of that. Of (Y/N) having a family that loved her even though they never met her. Knowing Bucky’s Ma Winifred, it wouldn’t surprise him at all if the Barnes Matriarch had demanded her daughter-in-law’s flag and kept it next to her son’s at all times.

Steve had visited the graves once, and only once. There weren’t bodies there, but the sight of your names engraved on bleak marble had made him sick so he hadn’t gone back again.

He still visited Dum Dum, Gabe, and Jim though when he got a chance. People still left flowers on their graves even though some of the guys had been dead for years now.

He told himself it was all worth it. Hydra had been stopped. The rest of the Commandos (and the rest of the world, for that matter) got to live their lives without the oppressive tyranny of Hydra and the Nazis.

He tore his gaze from the memorials and walked towards the small theater. He sat in the back, not wanting to give anyone a reason to look at him longer than they should.

When Peggy showed up on the screen, he had to bite back a small pained noise. She looked so young like this, even though it was almost 10 years after he’d flown the plane into the ice.

“That was a difficult winter. A blizzard had trapped half our battalion behind the German lines. Steve- Captain Rogers- he fought his way through a Hydra blockade that had pinned our allies down for months. He saved over a thousand men, including the man who would, uh- who would become my husband, as it turned out. Even after he died he was still changing my life.”

Steve stared at the screen long after Peggy had stopped talking. He sat through the old propaganda short movies without really seeing them. It was only when he heard (Y/N)’s voice that he refocused on the present, eyes fixated on the shaky, fuzzy video projected in front of him.

“Is it rolling?” she asked, staring at the person behind the camera.

“I dunno, you built the darn thing,” said a slightly annoyed voice. It wasn’t until he’d heard Bucky speak that he realized he’d almost forgotten what he really sounded like.

(Y/N) smiled cheekily and Steve nearly smiled with her. It was that mischievous smile that meant she was about to crack a joke, often at Bucky’s expense.

Bucky headed that idea off at the pass, though. “Don’t you dare, Doll. You’re on camera and wastin’ time,” said Bucky, still out of frame.

“It’s my machine and my film, I’ll do what I please,” she said somewhat petulantly, holding her hand out to Bucky. There was a small noise that could almost be mistaken for static or wind, but Steve recognized it as a huff of laughter. He came into view a second later and sat down on the couch beside her, grinning broadly despite their almost-bickering. “Say hi,” she ordered good-naturedly.

“Hi Ma, Pa,” Bucky said, ducking his head a bit. He was such a Mama’s boy. “This is my wife, (Y/N).” There was a pause where Bucky obviously didn’t quite know what to say yet and looked to her for support.

She smiled and threaded her fingers in his and Steve was reminded how stupidly in-love they were. “I know this isn’t exactly a normal way of sayin’ hello, but I know you only have pictures of me and I don’t know how long it’ll be ‘til we get back. I wanted to give you something you could watch. I also thought you might like seein’ your son alive and kickin’,” she said, nudging Bucky’s shoulder playfully with hers.

Bucky rolled his eyes, but the effect was slightly ruined by the puppy-love look in his gaze. “And I keep tellin’ her she’s a worrywart. Things are goin’ great out here, promise. Between my girl and Steve, we’ll be home before next Christmas.”

“Steve, Buck, and the rest of the guys just finished clearing out a Hydra base nearby. I know you probably hear it all the time back in the States, but they really are amazin’. They liberated seventy-six prisoners. Wrecked half my gear doin’ it, though,” she said giving Bucky a look that would have been angry if it weren’t for the affection lining her every feature.

Bucky just smiled and kissed the side of her head loudly. “Ah, you don’t mind, Doll. It means you have something to do!” he said cheekily.

She tried and failed to look anything but pleased and turned her attention back to the camera. “I hear you make a delicious Christmas ham, Mrs. Barnes-”

“She told you to call her Mom,” Bucky reminded her gently, his thumb rubbing circles into the back of her hand.

She looked a little embarrassed and glanced away from the screen before sitting up a little straighter, that look of determination Steve knew so well glinting in her eyes. “I hear you make a delicious Christmas ham, Mom. I can’t wait to try it.”

Bucky grinned down at her, threw an arm over her shoulder, and reeled her into his side. “You gotta make enough for Steve now too, though. He eats his weight in food every day. It’s ridiculous.”

“What are you two doing?” He heard his own voice off screen.

She scrambled off the couch and practically vaulted to the recording machine. “GottagoloveyouMomandDadBuckyandIwillseeyousooncan’twaittobehomebye!”

And just like that the video ended. The screen turned black and the next video played, back to the clips of war propaganda, Captain America cartoons, and the occasional recording of Peggy, Howard Stark or Colonel Phillips.

Steve got up wordlessly from his seat in the back, his poor pamphlet crushed to a pulp in his hand.

Next Chapter

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