#they're like 2 sides of the same coin don't you think

[sourle]

may i request with tje story thingy where the reader is hated so bad with: builderman actually needing ur abilities to keep the whole group safe and functionable (prolly a temp speed boost when the reader is nearby) and tries to keep you alive(mostly shedletsky) , but the reader lowkey gave up on trying tk stay alive so they just let the killer get to them first

Acquaintance

My compass is curiosity

WARNINGS: none

Note: its not exactly giving up, more so someone fumbled badly—

You tapped the generator after you closed the lid, watching as it sprung into life making the area a bit brighter from the neon green line on the front of it. One generator down, 2 left to go!

You hope the others are at the remaining generator fixing it to keep the cabin safe. Protected from the depth of the forest around it. You got up and stretched your body, hearing a few pops from your back. Probably from how long you've been crouching on the same generator. Seriously, these things got more and more hard to finish each round. You do wonder why that is.

You've heard Builderman and Shedletsky talk about it, they talk about how the generator went from just clicking buttons to connecting wires. You didn't know it used to be just clicking buttons. Maybe that's because you came after the initial changes. Yeah.

"I wonder where the others are.." you muttered, walking out from the underground place. You groaned as you almost slipped off the dirt steps but managed to catch your balance by flailings your arms.

Ugh I hate this new map.

The ambient sound of the map was eerie, and each step you take seems to be on beat with the thumping from across the map. You wonder who's the killer this time, you haven't seen it for half of the round.

You kept on walking past the disarray that's once a glorious place. As you rounded a corner a hand grabbed your arm and pulled you, you gasped and punched the person from shock.

A pained groan emits from beside you and it's.. Elliot?

"Shhh the killer is near," you stare at him like he's a different person, not once have you seen him do this. You started to think he's an imposter.

Elliot groans to your shocked and offended face, "Builderman needs your help,"

You blinked, once. Twice. What?

"Builderman needs my help????" "Yes, now come on—"

You watch as he walks, sticking on the side and behind walls. You just followed still confused.

The two of you arrived at the corner of the middle, you don't know how to describe it, but the place is elevated.

There's a working generator against the wall and the opposite of it is a dispenser, Builderman sat next to it with Chance.

Once the two notice both of you Chance instantly greets, "Eyy Pizza man! And isn't it the crayon user themselves!" Chance gives you a salute before flipping his coins landing on head.

"Hi Chance... And uhh—" "I need your help,"

You stare at Builderman from his bluntness. Straight to the point, i guess?

Builderman explained his plans, since your passive gives them slight speed they need you to stay near the sentinels, and right now they're struggling with John doe.

You stepped out from behind the wall, peeking to see the rest of the survivors. You watch as Guest and Two time followed John doe from behind whilst Shedletsky is being chased by it.

Shedletsky groaned, gripping his scarred arm as he ran, his stamina was almost gone. You quickly run up to him, it is a risk run alongside someone being chased, but due to your passive Shedletsky gets a lot quicker to flee and hide. Leaving you behind to run on your own.

You can't complain when your stamina is 10 more than the killers, making it easier for you to distract. You ran for as long as you could, juking and avoiding all of John doe's attack. Your body slowly wears itself down, your legs muscles spasm from the force pressure as you kept on going.

You can't hold him longer yet you're hopeful you can due to the timer. There's 10 seconds, you can do it.

You're hoping the sentinels come out and help you and your wish was granted as the others appeared, you scream in joy but he misses his sword.

0:03

Welp you might as well pray in hope it's quick painless as John doe grabbed the back of your clothes and stabbed you with his corrupted arm.

0:33

You woke up from the couch, hearing a thud from the dining room. You shifted a bit, sitting up before groaning. You glance to the side at Taph before at the doorway that leads to the dining room and saw Shedletsky walks out.

You two locked eyed, he stammered out an apology of not being able to help you before Chance pushed him aside and practically jumped dive towards you and Taph.

Note: Taph woke up w a concussion from it.

[paroroland]

am i the only one who thinks this? hopefully not 🫠

[sir-myst-cake]

First post on here and it's a rant!! If you want more cool takes you should totally follow me as I'll be posting here more often and have totally cool art to share‼️‼️

I'm not completely sure how to tag this? I'm talking about the ships in a positive light so I think it's okay, and besides, I want lots of peeps to see it, I'm aware I probably won't change many people's minds at all, but it's okay lol, I just want Anti's to see they genuinely have a nothing burger and need to leave people alone.

This is a mostly TikTok only problem regarding Beast x Ancient's (thank god) but I've seen my fair share elsewhere like on here. So lemme counter every argument I've seen so far cause you got a lot of time on your hands to be telling people to off themselves over Cookie ships 😭 put that hate into people who actually deserve it.

BILLFORD COMPARISON

Regarding ShadowVanilla specifically, people have compared the ship a lot from both sides, but what really got me is what I've seen here:

"Shadow Milk Cookie is way worse than Bill! He drove Pure Vanilla to insanity! He tortured him!"- This is in regards to how people bring up the fact Anti's are fine with one thing but not the other when it's basically the same thing they're against. Psychological, physical, mental, and emotional torture. I'll be honest I haven't watched Gravity Falls whatsoever, but my friend has, and from what she says, yeah Bill is the definition of a cruel and unusual punishment. He's done some crazy things, absolutely heinous, might even be a little worse than Shadow Milk or on the same level, either way though-

You can't like one thing and then not the other, it's different flavors of the same thing, it's hypocritical. Either you hate them both or you hate neither.

"Those are 2 different fandoms!"- Doesn't matter, it's the same thing, just different media, it's not different whatsoever aside from the universe, there's much torture involved on both ends.

ABUSER X VICTIM

This one I've seen A LOT and I'm just ??

"If you ship Beast x Ancient's you support Abuser x victim btw"- That's a STRETCH. You are reaching FAR. Nobody is romanticizing the abuse, nobody is normalizing it, it's stuff that happened in canon and we acknowledge it but nobody is doing any of that other stuff. I'm not condoning anyone in real life to do that shit lol. It's called exploring, they have an interesting dynamic, romantic or platonic, two sides of the same coin. You can say the same thing about horror movies, they put a lot of disturbing stuff in there. Do the movie producers CONDONE any of that stuff? Obviously not. Goes for Devsisters too, they don't condone body mutilation yet they still made Burning Spice rip off Cheese's wings.

But even so, for the people who DO like it for the angst, I won't say fiction doesn't affect reality because it does in many cases, but this isn't one of them. Not every relationship is going to be peachy and perfect, just like in real life. I can give an example on this one too actually.

GoldenLily, they aren't condoning what Lily (technically) did to Golden Cheese's kingdom, but they like it for all the potential, complicated feelings and emotions that come along with it.

Also, that's basically the same thing with Beasts x Ancients, just turn it around to enemies to lovers.

"This isn't Villain x hero, this is abuser x victim"- Are you saying MOST of media is abuser x victim then? This is in fact a typical hero x Villain trope, it's nothing new. Respectfully, you guys freak out when a Villain does villain stuff, I'd be surprised if there was a villain who DIDN'T cause any trauma for the opposing party. But according to this logic, media is just dead, no more fanfiction, no more what ifs, no more content since it's all apparently problematic and not canon. Even if somebody switches stuff up in an AU, and makes things completely fluffy, that's apparently still not enough.

"oh you had to make an AU to ship them because you know it's toxic"- No, it's just playing around with scenarios. Learn to separate fanon from canon. This specifically goes for the redeemed AU's I see of the Beasts, people still complain, they act as if people can't change. One of the biggest examples I have of that is FlutterCord, Discord did plenty of messed up things, but in the end, he still managed to change. You'll still get burned at the stake for it though.

"You must be an abuser yourself to condone this!!"- Extremely disrespectful and a WILDDD take. Need I say more??

"I ship Beast x Beast rather than Beast x Ancient's"- According to your logic, the Beasts are abusers right? And if we followed the same story, they are not mentally well whatsoever. You'd rather ship 2 dangerously mentally unstable characters together who'd just make each other worse? Destroy each other? Fuck each other up beyond belief? It doesn't make sense does it, nor is it fair for y'all to praise these ships but hate on the others. You like watching the cookies crumble huh 😭

CANON

"The ship isn't canon!"- We know that, everyone should know that. With what I said earlier, please learn to separate fanon from canon. That's what a fandom is, we do non-canon stuff, it's very fun, you should try it.

"It's a Proship/Dark ship!"- Going the canon route, Beasts are Eons old, Ancients are thousands of years old. Big gap yes, but nonetheless all of them are old as fuck. Older than bloodlines. Treating the Ancients as if they aren't grown adults. You're intentionally trying to make it weird. Stop calling ships you don't like proships please.

Also a little off topic but please don't listen to everyone you interact with on TikTok?? I remember one time I was scrolling through a comment section and saw somebody say "Doesn't Mystic Flour Cookie hate Burning Spice Cookie?" On a MysticSpice vid, looked in the replies, somebody asked for proof/where it was implied, and they didn't answer 💀 just blatantly spreading misinformation. Sources around you are way more reliable than people who don't back up their claims.

CONCLUSION

Even despite all this, you still have the right to feel how you wanna feel. Just please stop harassing people for simple stuff like this, in all honesty, I feel like it's more about seeing one of your favorite characters shipped with somebody who hurt them in canon that makes peeps upset. Which I can totally understand because I used to be exactly like that, I LIVEEEE for Dark Cacao Cookie, when Mystic Flour's update came out, I wanted her dead. Quite literally blocked someone because I couldn't stand seeing their MysticCao art. Hated what she did to my baby boy fr.

But then It started growing on me, over time, I just realized it was never that serious.

Even so, notice how I still didn't go out of my way to harass said person about it because I specifically didn't like it? It really is that easy. Block and go about your day.

I also suspect this because of stuff like this 💀

Love that person who replied, but it's not that hard y'all. We all can in fact, get along.

ANYWAYSSSS thanks to those who took the time read, I love you my pookies hope you have a good day or night💕💕

[tenebraevesper]

Sonic X Shadow Takeover Analyzer (Part 2)

I was so excited to hear this Takeover since it is only Sonic and Shadow talking to each other and answering question. It is one of those times where you get to see their dynamic without anyone else's input.

Since I feel like I could write an essay about these two, I decided to instead put all my thoughts into bullet points, this being Part 2 of my list:

Obligatory ''Shadow likes Latinas'' joke.

I love how Sonic sees their rivalry as a friendly competition, even describing it as being two sides of the same coin and pushing each other to be better. Shadow points out how he fights because he has a purpose and he will fight Sonic if their ideals clash. Sonic isn't buying it, though. He really wants to make it clear that his presence is important to Shadow and he wants to hear that from Shadow himself. Shadow finally agrees, with Sonic sounding so proud of himself.

Addendum: Considering how the cutscene battle in Sonic X Shadow Generations went, Shadow definitely can't resist fighting Sonic to best him, regardless of his own goals. Their rivalry gives him purpose.

''GO OFF KING!!'' Sonic, what?! X3

Shadow goes on a rant about Super Monkey Ball, with Sonic immediately trying to apologize for the whole thing. It's hilarious!

''THOSE MONKEYS NEED TO PUT ON SOME PANTS!!'' Shadow, you don't even wear pants.

I love how when Sonic and Shadow talk about Jet, Sonic immediately turns the question to be about their rivalry, pointing out how their little competition is why Shadow keeps Sonic around. Shadow just groans in exasperation, but we all know Sonic's telling the truth.

Black Doom really has an obsession with Radical Highway. I suppose Radical Highway is to Shadow what Green Hill Zone is to Sonic. Also, love how Shadow retorts to Sonic's ''Radical'' pun by calling him ''Mr. Green Hill Zone''.

When they're asked to draw something, their immediate response is to draw each other, with Sonic even trying to give some input to Shadow. They're not the best at it, though; something they wholeheartedly agree on.

Shadow is so proud to have his Year, and Sonic likes it too, to the point of showering him with constant compliments. Shadow enjoys it, but claims how he's not ''seeking attention''. Nobody's buying that Shadow.

Sonic Shuffle get mentioned!!

Shadow played chess with Maria, which is really nice. Also, if Sonic ever plays chess with Shadow, he'd totally be the guy who eats the chess pieces, much to Shadow's confusion. Also, the fact that Shadow claims how Sonic would lose on purpose to annoy him is both hilarious and also kinda sweet, considering how Sonic has been acting in this whole Takeover.

Fadel is back and trying to get into either Team Hero or Team Dark... and Sonic and Shadow clearly refuse to have him on their teams. I find it hilarious how Sonic immediately directs him to Team Dark and Shadow claims how applications are closed, then points him at Team Hero and gaslights Sonic into reluctantly accepting Fadel into the team.

I actually watched Games Cage's reaction to that, and he is completely oblivious to the fact that Sonic is being passive-aggressive by mentioning how Tails called dibs on their only parachute, meaning Sonic is cool with letting the guy fall off the Tornado. X3

Sonic is so persistent about wanting to hug Shadow! I get Sonic Prime vibes from this and I'm loving it.

''I don't need... your kind of hugs.'' There's two things I can conclude from this:

Shadow only likes the hugs Maria and Amy gave.

Shadow actually would be fine with Sonic hugging him, but they have to be meaningful rather than fleeting considering his earlier comment. Sonic is totally oblivious to that, though.

Sonic Boom ''Shadow broods in a cave'' reference!

Besides training, Shadow's hobby is reading. He's a bookworm, and Sonic sounds so excited about learning that. I can totally see Sonic thinking about dragging Shadow into another Storybook Adventure.

Shadow's first time turning Super was still him learning how to control that power. It explains why he ran out of energy back then, while Sonic had more experience and could keep it longer. Sonic also keeps complimenting Shadow about looking cool in his Super Form, even calling him wise for pointing out how that power needs to be controlled.

WHY DOES SONIC HAVE ABRAHAM TOWER ON SPEED DIAL?!

Shadow definitely doesn't work for G.U.N. That's something that has been confirmed. I have to say, the whole conversation between the Commander and Shadow was really awkward, but the kicker is Sonic's being oblivious to the whole awkwardness. He is so proud that he arranged a call between them.

I love how Sonic's neutral opinion about Orbot changes immediately the moment he hears Shadow's own thoughts on the robot. Once Shadow says he dislikes Orbot, Sonic immediately agrees with him, and when Orbot offers to get them coffee, causing Shadow to like him, Sonic also agrees that Orbot is fine. This really feels like Sonic wants Shadow's approval by agreeing with his opinions.

Sonic and Shadow are arguing about who is better at raising their Chao. They legit sound like married couple arguing about how to take care of their children. Sonic is definitely the fun dad, while Shadow has to take care of the discipline.

Shadow doesn't believe in ghosts, despite Sonic pointing out how they ran into paranormal stuff several times. Sonic also tries to scare him a couple of times, with Shadow showing no reaction.

Shadow's favorite Doom Power is Doom Morph, and Sonic is a little jealous of that form once he hears more about it. The fact that Shadow just keeps bragging about it and annoying Sonic is hilarious.

''Skill issue!'' Lol, Shadow. I can imagine Sonic rolling his eyes at that comment.

Shadow scolds the person who listens to the Twitter Takeover instead of studying for their exam. He really cares about their education, while Sonic points out how he needs to lighten up.

Let's be honest, Sonic and Shadow definitely love hanging out with each other, admitting it in their own way that they care about each other.

I believe that this Takeover proves that Sonic and Shadow really have a good dynamic when they sit down and hang out with each other. They bicker, they tease each other, they come to agreements and disagreements, they care... It is so enjoyable to listen to them and I'm looking forward to seeing more!

Oh, and yeah, this was a feast for the Sonadow fans, if you ask me. I hope you guys will enjoy my notes, because I'm definitely going to take advantage of all the new information I got. I can't wait for the meal we'll get once the Sonic the Hedgehog 3 movie comes out.

#Sonic X Shadow Takeover Analyzer (Part 1)

#Sonic Cyber Revolution (Masterlist)

[rosesdrop]

Pick a pile

Their feelings for you

Pile 1:

This person wants you to forgive them; they want to restore balance once again in this relationship. They want you to be as caring and excited for them as you were before. They know that you are interested in other things currently and that your thoughts are not all about them; sometimes they think that you have forgotten about them. They believe that you are intentionally putting limits and barriers between you. They want you to give them another chance and to reevaluate the situation once again. They want you two to discuss this disagreement and then try to find a solution that suits you both. They don't want either of you to be forced to do something or be misunderstood by the other; therefore, being victims of this whole dynamic, they want both of you to be fulfilled and have your needs met equally. They honestly have good intentions and seem mature in the way they solve disputes. They do care about you and your happiness. They are not deceitful; whatever they say is what they truly mean. 

Pile 2:

This person could be harsh with their words, and the way they speak is explosive. They're easily triggered, and they feel like you trigger them easily. They think that you don't think before speaking, and this sometimes hurts their pride. They don't know what to do about this connection or how to handle it properly. They act out of impulse and end up creating a lot of problems; they always seem to come up with a new disaster; they're troublesome and foggy-minded. They're almost like a child who needs guidance on what to do all the time. They don't know how to make decisions. They end up frustrating a lot of people because of this. The way they feel about you is very superficial. They keep creating an image of you that makes them act a certain way according to it. They live in their heads. You might feel like you're dealing with a wall. They do whatever is in their heads without considering anything else. They were used to being this way, and they want to say that it's hard for them to change. They're terrified of change, and they feel like you are triggering them in that way. 

Pile 3:

They have known you for a while, they feel a sense of familiarity with you, you make them feel comfortable, and they honestly feel like you are some kind of soulmate to them or that you are meant to be together. If it's a friend or someone from your family that you're asking about, then you are the person that they like the most and feel very close to. They feel like you two are similar in plenty of things and that you are two sides of the same coin, they truly adore you. If it's a romantic situation, then they feel like you are their future spouse or something. Or that you are their dream person. They can see themselves doing everything with you; you two get along very well. A sense of peace and happiness encompasses them when you're together; they truly never get enough of your company. They may sometimes be self-doubtful and feel like they are not enough for you. Or that you wouldn't see them as greatly as they see you. They have their doubts about this. They don't know for sure if you think of them the way they do; they could only guess by the great chemistry and compatibility between you, but it's not enough to cease their self-conscious thoughts. They wish you could be more affectionate towards them because they're not very sure of themselves; they doubt things a lot, so they want you to assure them and show love towards them more often. They would be really happy, and this would ease their worries a lot.

[thesilenceshh]

Hello there, spoilers for the new spoil milk man trailer (Shadow Milk Cookie)

This, this right here. I've been seeing people say that this is what SM looked like pre-corrupt. i'm calling bull, and I have my reasons

You see these 3, particularly the first 2. This is what we first saw for the pre-corrupt forms for SM, yet it looks nothing like the one we saw in the trailer. I know some of the designs when we first saw pre-corrupt beasts were different then what we actually saw later on, as we can see from Burning Spice since his pre designs seemed to be different when we saw it in trailer and in story (Mystic Flour looks mostly the same), but even the leaked one doesn't look the exact same (exp: hat, hair, pants/leg area), and I personally find that odd on why SM seem to be so different despite there not being a gap in release unlike with BS designs

What I'm trying to say here is that I don't think the white statue Pure Vanilla see is actually what SM looked like, only a mere trick, so get it in PV mind that he's doing the same thing SM did, that they're both alike, SM even states that PV is taking the same steps he did. SM tried to corrupt PV during the first two parts of Beast Yeast, trying to get him to cut down a tree and all, and a popular theory going around is that he'll actually be able to do it during this update

But why even show a false version of his past self? What would that even do? Well, it's to get PV to more visually connect to SM. Wouldn't you believe something more if you saw it for yourself? The white statue, it has similarities to PV; the dress, rope thing PV wears, a coat/cap, a marking right on his (big ass) forehead too, big sleeves, closed eyes, ribbons, even a crown (even if they're very different).

He's trying to show that he and PV are parallels, sides on the same coin, all to corrupt him into the same darkness he tried so hard to fight against, to shine a light on. But how long can the light of a lantern last before going out? We'll just have to wait and watch

[werywrenniethoughts]

Help Wanted 2: Lets Talk About Sun (Spoilers for Help Wanted 2!)

Okay,

I've had some time to digest Help Wanted 2. What a freaking roller coaster. I'm assuming you all have played/watched/seen Help Wanted 2, so be advised if you haven't seen everything we have access to so far, I'll be bringing it up.

One thing I'll say upfront is its nice to know Sun and Moon ARE older like I theorized. They're tied to the Fall Festival which took place in 1970 per one of the prize collector posters and the fact they deal with the carousel. I think Steel Wool also tried to point out and confirm Moon is patient zero for....I guess I should say Vanny's influence in the PizzaPlex. He's definitely the favorite to be pitted against us. I'm STILL losing my mind over the Princess Quest Ending.

So, the DCA fandom has been all across the board, ranging from "I love sassy Sun" to "Sun is SO mean. This ruins my headcannon." I don't think it really does. At least, it doesn't have to.

Our first encounter with Sun in front of us is Arts and Crafts. This minigame is located in the world we eventually learn is AR. We also are clearly a new FazBear hire. Sun is definitely sassy, and let's face it, VERY critical of what he defines as a mistake. BUT the flip side of that coin is he is still nice when you do the art correctly. He calls you friend, he wants to help you. If the player eats the crafts, he loses his mind. It's because he's worrying for the player due to the effects eating the crafts will have on them, ie: "That is how you get ulcers!". (By far, MY FAVORITE line of Sun's btw. Kellen stated that line and the indigestion line were both improved btw- genius.) He still doesn't want Moon to get you, he doesn't want to get in trouble. The one threat is after you've been hitting him several times and you've outright pissed him off. (I personally, think the "I should turn off the lights myself" was a drama king being a drama king.) Then we take the mask off. We see everything destroyed and Sun acts like the Sun we've always known. "I'm perfectly fine where I am. It's better this way. It's safer this way." "Keep the generator on. Without it I won't be able to help you." He's the same as he's always been. We've just seen a new layer.

What we ultimately have to come to terms with, is that Sun is a control freak and a perfectionist. He thinks he "has" to be. He doesn't want you to move from your craft table so he can watch you like a hawk. Do the job you are assigned. Get in, get out. Do the art HIS way, and follow HIS rules. If you don't, bad things can happen. Bad things HAVE happened. Another explanation could also be that maybe he isn't as free of the glitch trap virus as we thought? He can be sassy, he can be brutally honest, he can be concerned for us, for children, and his own darkness can rear its head, all at the same time.

Steel Wool could also be trying to slam into our faces that Sun is incomplete. He is one-half of a whole. He has good intentions, he means well at his core, but he cannot stop, regroup, and act rather than react. He gets stressed, and can't cope and adjust. Instead, he demands control back when he feels like he's about to lose it. Moon is calm, calculating, and logical. It's why they need to be whole and why Sun is so grateful to Cassie when she fixes them to become Eclipse. As Eclipse, they both find the parts of themselves they've so desperately needed.

[slater-baby]

Slater's Basic Writing Tips

A post on how I began writing, how I try to improve my writing, and how I describe my own writing!

This post was written per request by an anonymous ask. Refer to this post for the specific question.

A question from an anonymous writer:

"i was wondering if you could give us some insight on how you found your writing style? You have a way to make it still feel complex and full of emotion but also like the reader is right there with all the senses being touched upon. I don't know how to write about it without gushing, but my question is how did you learn to do this and what would you describe your writing style as? (as well as any hacks or tips)"

How did I begin to write?

It's hard to remember, but I really just jumped into the deep end. When I first began writing, I had no plans to do anything more than write short, 1k stories about frivolous things. I did no research, took no classes, read up on no advice.

I just started.

Of course, back then, I had no expectations for myself. I wasn't writing for a specific audience, nor was I looking to take myself seriously, and I think that helped in a lot of ways. Having fun with it, letting yourself make mistakes, and not being afraid to jump into the deep end definitely helped. In the end, all that mattered was that I was putting words down on the page.

I think that this works for a lot of hobbies. Like drawing for example. Say that you wanted to learn how to draw, but read no books on the subject, looked up no tutorials, and didn't take anyone's advice. Even without any instruction, if you drew a picture every day for 100 days straight, there would still be improvement in your ability to draw. In the end, it doesn't entirely matter whether you thought the drawings were good on a day to day basis, but rather the act of drawing that's important.

Writing is similar in many ways. And while I think that learning to write in a formal environment is great and should be encouraged for all people, practicing your writing without any rules or structure shouldn't be looked down upon either!! They're two sides of the same coin, and they contribute to your goal in their own individual ways.

Let yourself write shitty things. Let yourself write meaningless, stupid things. Trust me, it'll make your life better.

-

How do I try to improve my writing?

a. Read!

I've thought A LOT about what kind of advice I might give you, and while I don't have any concrete "hacks" to writing well, I think there are some things that every writer can do to expand upon their own abilities!

I know this is common advice, but it's true advice:

If you want to write well, you need to read well.

For a long time, I (like an idiot) assumed that I didn't really read that much, so when people were always saying that writers need to read, I was kind of like "huh well I guess I'm behind on the game lmao"

But, in actuality, I realized that that it was the complete opposite 💀 I guess it just didn't register in my mind because I don't consider reading reading....like, I just considered it me having fun alkdfjlkaf 💀

Like, reading is basically on the same level as playing video games and going to parties for me aldskjfaklj It's not a task so much as it is something I am actually viscerally addicted to lmao

I read at least 2 hours every day, usually more. I read for about an hour when I wake up and about an hour when I go to bed, mostly fiction novels. I read news articles every day at lunch for the large part of my break, which is about an hour. I read academic journals and nonfiction for class, and I also read other academic journals just in my free time 💀 that sounds dorky but it's not really serious reading as it is so much me looking up a question on google and then getting sucked into a journal about evolutionary biology LMAO

Basically, reading is like doing crack to me, and like a dumbass, I read so much that I actually thought I didn't read at all because everyone was talking about it like it was some big chore or something 💀

But honestly, it's great advice.

Read a lot. Enjoy reading a lot. Don't read just for the sake of reading, or because you have to do it. Read because you just fucking love reading! Read stupid novels that have bad reviews. Read short articles that don't mean anything. Read highly academic works for your studies, or read a journal about a topic you can barely understand purely because you're curious!

Don't let those haughty literature people tell you that you're only reading if you're reading something like Dostoevsky.

Reading is a skill and there are different levels to it. Maybe dense literature is too much for you. Doesn't mean you're worse than someone who can choke down the Iliad like it's nothing. Maybe it just means you want to spend time on things like Percy Jackson or Harry Potter instead!

b. Analyze the media you consume!

Now, this is definitely more difficult to do than just picking up a book and reading it. Admittedly this skill takes awhile to develop, and if you haven't done higher level reading in a formal setting before, you might find it kind of hard. However, if you're looking to take writing more seriously, then this is what I recommend. Here's a few things you should consider when analyzing a piece of media.

Just because you criticize something doesn't mean you can't love it, too. No piece of media is perfect. In fact, search for things you think a great piece of media could improve upon, and it'll help identify flaws in your own writing. For example, in the newest season of Severance (no spoilers), I thought that the time spent on establishing the scenery and atmosphere of some episodes was too long, and that that it lost the focus of the plot after a certain length of time.

There is no objective morality. There is no one set of beliefs that is entirely correct in the world. Claiming that one certain belief is entirely true is kind of like telling someone God exists: you really can't prove it. If a piece of media goes against your own views, consider what points the author makes that supports their thesis. Do you have to agree with them? No. Do you have to support them? No. But should you recognize that such a view point exists? Yes. It's important to always keep yourself aware of different points of view. Don't allow yourself to exist in an echo chamber.

If a piece of media leaves you confused, ask yourself why you're confused about the story. Is it because of the length of the piece? Is it because you don't recognize all of the words the author used? Is it because it's a view point you've never considered before? Or is it because the knowledge was presented in a bad way, making it hard to understand? If so, how could the author have presented it to make it more comprehensible?

Okay okay before this starts sounding like your high school English textbook, let's take a step back. You don't need to get out your college rule notebook and have your pencil at the ready to analyze a book you're reading. You can do it in small and meaningless ways!

If you're at the theater watching a movie, tell your friends what you thought about the movie! Listen to what they thought about the movie! Things like "I liked the story, but that one guy's acting kinda ruined the message" is a totally valid criticism, too. Same thing goes for books and movies! Like, "I really liked this book, but I didn't understand the words the author used in this scene, and it made the story hard to understand."

c. Take Grammar Into Consideration

Okay...this might be kind of an unpopular take when it comes to fan fiction, but grammar does matter. When it comes to short pieces, not using capital letters or commas might not seem like a big deal. However, at a certain point, trying to read something without proper grammar transforms from an innocent writing choice into an incomprehensible mess, especially when you're writing long form documents.

If you're considering writing longer pieces, please take the time to learn the rules of grammar. I promise it will help you get your point across so much smoother! Also, there are many readers who simply won't take a chance on your writing if they see that it's not properly formatted, and then they'll be missing out! Make sure to put your best foot forward for the sake of yourself and to give your readers the story experience they deserve!!

d. Find examples of writing styles you like!

This kind of goes hand in hand with my point about reading. While you're doing your reading, find examples of stories and media that you like the style of! Try to identify characteristics of that style that you're attracted to.

What kind of imagery is there? Is it metaphorical? Is it literal?

Do they use a lot of complex sentences? Maybe they like simple sentences, like getting straight to the point?

What's their tone? Are they blunt? Are they flowery?

When you're doing your own writing, you can try to incorporate these characteristics into your own pieces! Here's an example.

One of my favorite pieces of writing and media is the video game Disco Elysium. It's written so well. I really love the style of the author, specifically how he incorporates personification into his description of objects. I also like how he relies on fairly simple sentences to create visual description. In fact, if you pay close attention to Chapter 12: Glass Cut of Texas Red, you'll probably be able to see the influence from Disco Elysium peeking through my own writing style there!

e. Don't be afraid to sleep on it!

This.

This is my best writing advice.

You can read every book in the library, take every course at your local college on writing, and you'll still sit down one day and write something that you're just not sure about. Is it bad? Is it good? Is it some monstrous type of in-between that you can't even describe?

Fuck if you know.

And that's okay.

Not everything you write will be amazing. But instead of giving up on a piece that's halfway written when you get frustrated, close your computer and re-read what you wrote in the morning. Go do something else, clear your mind, sleep well in the evening, and give it some fresh eyes in the morning!

9 times out of 10 you'll be able to come to a conclusion on it in the morning.

The way I personally like to do it is this: Stare at my word document until I'm about to rip my hair out, slam my laptop closed, go play some mindless game for wayyyyy too long, and then sleep until my alarm physically cannot ring any more obnoxiously. Then, before I do anything else, I'll open my phone and squint through my exhaustion to reread what I wrote.

Idk how to describe it, but somehow, it works like a charm LMAO

-

How would I describe my own writing?

Oh god......this one I actually might not know 💀 anon you've got me

Okay, I guess here's how I would describe my style. It's highly...emotional for me. I think that's how I live my life, and I think my writing reflects that. For example, when you think about description in a novel, you often think of describing how objects and people look. But over the years in my personal life, I've discovered that I really just...don't care about the visuals of a person or place. For me, I rely heavily on how that person or objects makes me feel, not what my opinion on its appearance is.

If you read my story Indigo, you might have noticed that I never truly described what Simon looks like beyond small details of his person. Particular scars that were important to the story, what color his hair was, what clothes he was wearing--those were the only things I ever really described about his appearance, and even then, they were only written into the story when it was important to what was going on.

But, in actuality, Simon's appearance was incredibly important to Indigo. In fact, the entire premise relies on his fixation with his own appearance. But the way that I approached it wasn't from the visual standpoint, but rather his perception of himself, how his appearance made him and other people feel.

Is Simon ugly? Are his scars hideous? Are they so grotesque he should cover his face at all times? Or, even, abstain from love at all costs?

I don't know. I don't care what he looks like. But that's what Simon believes himself to be, that's how he feels, and that defines his perception of the entire world, regardless of what the true visuals of his story actually are.

That's partially why I like the emotional type of writing instead of just visual description, because it doesn't really rely on any objective truth to convey a message. That....and I honestly just don't think about how things look that much lmao

Like, once a friend of mine asked me what my ideal boyfriend looked like and I legit couldn't answer her. Because like??? I don't have an ideal man. I've dated men from all different backgrounds, different heights, different weights, different styles---I just don't really care about someone's body. I care about the feeling they evoke in me.

Texas Red is a bit of a different game though, and there's a story reason for that. Basically, the basis of Jinx and Simon's relationship is physical attraction. It's not emotional in the beginning. Jinx feels weird about Simon, not because he's nice to her, but because she thinks he's hot lmao

All in all, I think I prioritize the emotional experience of it above all else, and that's about the only defining characteristic I can commit to when it comes to my writing lmao

-

And there you have it! A few tips on how I approached my own writing, as well as how you can improve your own! I hope you guys enjoyed my (completely unwarranted) gushing on the subject lmao

Thank you so much to the anon who sent the original request! I hope that this little guide helps you out!

Until next time!

[lost-inanotherlife]

Okay so this post continues a conversation I've started re: the "Let's hate on Jack Shephard" trend and how, I think, it's quite unfair towards the character first but also towards the themes of the show itself.

I finished my post by saying that on the island Jack is trying to be a better person but he's doomed to fail because this is what the rules of storytelling dictate. I mean, we the audience need him to fail because we're following the story primarily through his lens so if he resolves his arc the story's over.

Now I understand that the likability of a character is one of those really unfathomable things that escape even the finest narrative techniques. Some people will love a character, some others won't. I'm obviously fine with that. After all LOST has, like, almost two dozens characters on top of Jack so, you know, if you don't like him you can literally pick whoever else and all of these 20 characters are completely fleshed out and realistic. So, you know, there's space for everybody on the island, lol.

That doesn't change the fact that these techniques are in place and must be taken into account if one wants to analyize a character. So let's analyse Jack from the character arc perspective.

One of the reasons people seem to hate on Jack is because of the supposedly bad choices he makes: he's emotional, stubborn to a fault, he thinks he's being rational but it's a play pretend because he's an extremely emotion-driven character. This is important because, although he's presented as the "Man of Science" side of the dichotomy, he shows solid nerves almost exclusively when it's about health problems/procedures etc. Which, duh! He's, like, one of the best and youngest surgeons in his father's hospital, the man knows his stuff.

On the other hand, John Locke as the "Man of Faith" is actually more logical, rational and reason-driven than Jack. And OF COURSE he is! Because here's the crux of the matter: we the audience KNOW that Locke might not be right about his decisions but he's right about thinking that the island is not like any other island.

We the audience know how he had to use a wheelchair before crashing on the island and, once there, he miraculously stands on his own two feet like nothing ever happened. On top of that, the presence of Rose re-inforced the idea that Locke is, indeed, right to believe, or at least justified to believe, that they're there for a reason.

Like, people on the island think of him as this old, crazy guy in the jungle and, yeah, John is a little too sure of himself at times but from a characterization point of view it totally tracks.

Now Jack doesn't know what we the audience know. He's asked to believe what a totally random stranger tells him and yes, this is one of the core tenets of "faith": believing without knowing. So okay, cool, the conflict is totally justified at this point (S1-2).

Starting from S2, however, and the totality of S3-4 and beginning of 5, Jack is asked to believe and show faith in people who actively manipulate, betray, exploit and abuse him.

You guys know that on this blog Kate Austen is a religion but even she manipulated and literally drugged him and then had the audacity to be offended when Jack didn't believe her. Come on, girl be real now.

But the worst part of this is that he's asked to believe Ben. Benjamin Fucking Linus. I repeat: Ben Linus, ever heard of him? The IRONY of this situation finds its climax in "316" when, in front of a reproduction of "The Incredulity of St. Thomas" by Caravaggio, Ben asks Jack to believe him even without knowing, therefore not so subtly comparing himself to Jesus Christ and Jack to St. Thomas.

Mind you, this is not writers' pulling tricks: Destiny&Cons&Deception is a theme established since season ONE. I'll quote myself here but my question, I think, is still valid:

Season 1 seems to silently ask: are Destiny and Deception the two sides of the same coin? Is Deception inherently weaved into the fabrics of Destiny or is Destiny at work through Deception? Is Destiny itself a Deception? Or is it lie we tell ourselves so we can pretend to not care about the consequences of our actions, like Jack's father Christian ("That's why the Red Sox will never win the World Series")? Oh, so many questions!

This isn't a random theme. Having faith in your Destiny means that you have to have faith in the unknown. But what happens when the unknown is known and it's deceptive, it's a long con but it's also the only thing you have? How is one made into a comfortable position to make the "right" decision if one has to literally trust the same people who had betrayed them one second before? Ben's parallel is interesting because he fancies himself as Christ but we all know who's the real Christ-figure of the show: "One of You Will Betray Me" might be Jack's tagline, honestly.

Jack Shephard is a character who's asked by the narrative to be in that uncomfortable position from beginning to end. How can people not symphatize with that? This isn't about character's personality, this is about understanding one of the foundational themes of the show.

It's easy to believe when you know. It's difficult to believe when you don't know. It's existential to believe when you know that the probability that you'll get conned are high. When the odds are against you. When the Red Sox have never won the World Series.

Until, one day, they do win it.

How do you approach these questions? This is up to us as viewers to answer. But it's Jack who guides us through these difficult questions. Hating on him without seeing him is like being St. Thomas: you want a story where everything's transparent so it's easy to believe in it.

What happens when the story is not so clear? What happens when the characters are a little good and also a little bad? What happens when, regardless of how they are and what they've done, the same characters are faced with impossible scenarios where they are CALLED to choose and can't escape from making said choice?

This is the beauty of LOST in general and this is also the beauty of Jack Shephard because it's LITERALLY through his eye that the show begins and the show ends. If people want to hate on him, sure, they can, of course. But if they fail to realize the importance of the choices he makes, the reasons behind them, the consequences of them, I'm afraid they've missed some of the key aspects of the show.

[caldera1000-7]

Not a big post this time maybe a draft-post and pic/info dump before a continuation/long talk about it. But anyways:

We all should know Atsushi's motivations which stem from his past/hallucinations of the people who have impacted his life and haunt him somewhat. As his character got over it it changed from the Orphanage Headmaster to sometimes Akutagawa to Dazai. But most importantly I was focused on this hallucination (the guy in his mind which is technically created by himself so its kind of his own thoughts.)

"It all comes down to imagination. Every bit of it." "Your hypocritical goodwill, your childish imagination... You cannot understand anyone else. And this, you doom them."

And it was quite true, he has always been thinking of himself or "saving others" in order to keep his existence having meaning or relevance. His "saving others" is giving him not just a purpose or meaning but its also a mindset of "if I don't save them, then am I really allowed to live?" sounds...familiar. "If I don't defeat you, if I don't become stronger...I'll just go back to being something Dazai-san discarded." Yep. The 2 sides of the same coin. The Yin-Yang duo my favorite characters. Ahem, moving on. This was true because Atsushi as we have seen has been shown to be empathetic at times but mainly his drive when saving those people were selfish or stems from a place of if he doesn't then he is worthless. Now I know we all probably know this and how its similar to Ryuu's killing etc. etc. But Atsushi projecting his past self onto those he saves, also kind of shows how little he would come to understand them, and mainly just understanding they are in need of help like he was. The scene with Lucy when he threatened to let her and everyone else stay trapped in her room forever. The scene with Kyouka where he jumped out with her and the bomb. This selflessness has always been from a place of selfishness or at least thats what it seems like. His understanding of others...Well he seems to make quite a few assumptions mainly to Akutagawa, but we see how their views and respects for eachother change with time and learning.

The funniest part which I will still get to when I feel like writing a lot more...is the rashomon effect being used on Akutagawa as a character... Everyone seems to just have this "views" of him, thinking he has enough, that he is enough, that he IS strong, that he HAS status... when he thinks he doesnt have enough because of Dazai not acknowledging it and ever since Dazai said that Atsushi is better. People always seem to have this ideas about Akutagawa, these assumptions too, even with that scene with Margaret but I'll get there another day. Right now, Atsushi falls into those views of Akutagawa, even saying that he IS better than Akutagawa, assuming that he fights just to make others fear him. Its all "meaningless" (says the boy who fights an endless battle of self worth and saving others which essentially will end up the same as a life of killing others because both will make you fight endlessly to feel worthy of living - oh! Does that sound familiar? Remember Odasaku's words to Dazai... If they're both the same, at least saving people would make it a bit more beautiful isn't it?) Atsushi here is also deciding from himself that this may be meaningless, just deciding for someone else, truth or not, shows how little he bothers to understand others too. Akutagawa on the other hand could be on the assumptions side too though he is more envious on the fact Atsushi has all he has wanted and still dwells on the past. But after this interactions in the fight with Ivan and many after that... Akutagawa always tried understanding him more, and even during this scene before fighting Fritzgerald Akutagawa said he understood atsushi and it disgusted him. Akutagawa is a character of constant questions. Its always "Why me?" or "Why him?" or "Why do you fight?" always wondering and wanting to understand before he can decide. This was just a funny detail that contrasts their characters too in which Atsushi just hops to what he thinks and goes along with it if it saves people or himself. I really like them both. (Not as shipping, but in canon.)

[bibibbon]

Hey Let play a game! I’m gonna say stuff about a character and you have to guess who this character (note:sorry for any grammar error)

1-He use his quirk on a person (who he act possessive over) when this person said no.

2-He act asshole towards Izuku.

3-He think Izuku doesn’t deserve OFA.

4-He mentored a boy who look oddly similar to this person he act possessive with.

5-He think he have the right to say about OFA.

6-He think he have to say about the life of a person (who , again act possessive) with excuse that “he care about him/that for his own good”.

You probably thinking I was talking about AFO

Wrong!

I was talking about Nighteye

( Obviously AFO is way worse person than Nighteye , but what I trying to say that if I was Yoichi/the OFA users I will feel uncomfortable and angry the way Nighteye acting towards All Might and Izuku (and Mirio) )

I am going to be so honest when I was first reading this. The first character that came to mind wasn't AFO, but it was Bakugo. That is until statement 4, and then I started to think of AFO.

Respectfully, I don't think Nighteye actually gets enough hate and criticism, and maybe that is due to the lack of screentime he gets within the story of MHA and how the narrative doesn't actually ever call nighteye out for his actions.

I believe that due to the narrative not actually calling out sir nighteye for his actions, most people forget just how much of a jerk he really is and overall nighteyes character goes to waste.

Rereading the overhaul arc and looking over sir Nighteye's character profile really caught my attention, especially with the way that Horikoshi chose to describe Nighteye as the "Japanese counterpart to an Americanised All might."

To me, it looked like horikoshi could have used both all Might and sir nighteyes characters to actively critique the core principles of hero society. Yes, they both try to do good, but we can actively see how much damage they have caused.

For example, both all Might and Sir nighteye perpetuate a toxic work environment where we see them overwork themselves and others to an unhealthy degree.

They are also both contrasts. All Might is shown to do the physical work. He is a symbol of strength and freedom, while nighteye is a symbol of dedication and laughter due to his love for jokes. They both have a personality surrounded by the idea of smiling all Might, smiling physically to comfort people, and sir, nighteye enjoying jokes that his workers and he makes.

Nighteye's work ethic is shown to be more cooperate toxic based, whereas all Might's is more physical toxic based.

Sure, they both had noble intentions at the start, but they also both caused a lot of damage to those around them and to themselves. Sir Nighteye's failures as a hero caused an entire fiasco when it came to Eri and the yakuza while All Might’s own failures as a hero caused for AFO to still be alive and for him to almost die.

They both have their own protégé whom they entrust their legacy to in hopes for a better future. Funnily enough, their protégé also resemble one another, and mirio resembles all Might while izuku resembles sir nighteye.

They're essentially two sides of the same coin when it comes to hero society of MHA and the series should of explored their clashing ideologies a lot more whether that be through both of them or through their own protégé mirio and izuku who ironically end up having two contrastingly different views when it comes to what action should of been taken to helping rescue Eri.

All might in the spotlight while Sir nighteye is in the shadow they are essentially the two halves that make up the hero side of hero society

As I mentioned before, sir, nighteye's toxic work ethic and environment that he facilitates in his agency should have been explored and should have been tied into the failures of the overhaul arc.

It seems that in a very disingenuous and cheap way to create a lighthearted and productive environment, Sir Nighteye goes to huge levels of extreme to create comedy and we see it as he literally has a torture type device called tickle hell that he uses to punish his workers if they aren't funny enough. This is the same mindset that a very toxic manager would have.

Sir Nighteye's work ethic also ends up being heavily problematic with him greenlighting a lot of things like children going to a professional yakuza raid or his poor communication skills when it comes to getting information across to everyone about the raid and assuming that because of his quirk he knows best so he has that superiority complex which causes him to talk down to people whether that be intentionally or not.

However, the series could have also explored the tragedy behind Sir Nighteye's quirk. The tragedy in having the power of knowing what will happen but not having the power to prevent it or not having the power to change the course of events.

I assume that, sir, nighteye some time in the past must of tested the limits to his quirk probably when he was a hero and it had a tragic outcome which would explain the reason why he seems to believe that the future cannot change and that what happens will happen. Something must of happend for nighteye someone with so much information to fall into a depressing doom of inevitability and for him to beg all Might to quit to at least look after himself to stop running to his own death.

In the end, it seems that all might and nighteye switch positions to an extent with sir nighteye dying and all might living. In the end, all of that information couldn't save nighteye at all, and in the end, nighteye died due to a chain of mistakes all of them could be linked back to the slow corruption of hero society.

[flightyalrighty]

I think you saying that you mainly ship sonadow just made my day along with the fact you go "hell yeah" about it 😭😭

I have some questions

1) Why do you like the ship? I like it because of the whole opposites attract thing

2) I like to think of Sonic and Shadow having that sort of "rivals to lovers" trope and opposite attract as said before, which idk if it applies to you because everyone ships things differently so

If you were to do any comic media about them, how would you do it?

3) Do you think about doing more art about them in the future?

(◍•ᴗ•◍)

I'm sorry for the questions about the ship I just like that fact that my one of my favorite sonic comic artists ships my personal favorite ship, along with surgamy lmao

Since I can't do images anonymously, here's a bug playing saxophone

🎶🎷🐛

I'd say it's less that they're opposites for me and more like they're two sides of the same coin. Also I guess because I grew up with Archie Sonic and there's a lot there. Like, it's a WHOLE different dynamic than game!Sonadow (like for instance they were way more like allies than rivals in that comic) and that's what stuck with me -- But I like that they can rely on each other in a way that feels different than friendship. And they can travel together and stuff. Sonic has been all over the world and Shadow might still be trying to discover this planet Maria loved so much. He can be shown the beauty and joy of life on Earth Mobius Unnamed Planet. Does that make any sense at all? I'm sleepy. Also! I like the idea of Shadow just like. Trying to integrate himself within Sonic's friends and family (Tails). He's the only one who'd have this problem btw. Everyone else is chill (except Knuckles maybe).

I was privately writing a fanfic that i shared with my friends that was like, "Aaahhh it's (I think it was 6 total?) years into the future, but ONE year into the future Sonic and Shadow had a jewish wedding bc i hc Shadow as jewish (bc i hc the robotnik family as jewish) and Eggman has been straight up sent to prison by G.U.N. and things are great for a while and there's peace but THEN with Eggman out of the way, G.U.N. does a full-scale invasion on the whole world to "bring order" to a world they find irredeemably chaotic USING Eggman who is now forced to work under them to make weapons of war. Shadow immediately leaves G.U.N. out of disgust and as a cruel "punishment" for this, Sonic gets captured by G.U.N. and turned into their own living weapon. For five years Shadow and Tails, who now consider each other their only family (I won't get into what happened with Amy, Knuckles, Rouge and Omega rn) are trying to survive under this horrible regime and rebelling where they can BUT Shadow is completely heartbroken and sabotages bigger and more dangerous G.U.N. operations in order to lure Sonic out and accepting less help from allies as the years continue on and he's still unable to find and save blue hedgehog husband. He returns to Tails with more and more injuries that Tails has to fix up and there's a lot of yelling. So I guess I like angsty sonadow? But I don't know if I'd turn that fanfic into a comic. But if I made a sonadow comic, that would be the one.

Someone would need to chop off my hands to stop me from making more sonadow art (eventually)

[nightlyrequiem]

miss requiem please please with a cherry on top make detective reader part 2?!?!???!?

Of course of course! For some reason this was so hard for me to write??? I don't know if I like how it turned out. Alikeness 1 and 2 will probably be getting a rewrite in the future...

First Part

Tags/Warnings: WLW, Gun Violence, Murder, Mild Violence

Alikeness II

"You and I are alike." 

Valeria's words leave you uneasy and disturbed. You should turn her in. You know her identity. But for some reason you just can't bring yourself to make it common knowledge. You tell yourself it's because she wouldn't face proper punishment through the legal system. Money talks.

Yes. That is why you can't tell anyone. You're immune to corruption. An archangel sent to cleanse this Earth of evil. The blood of the tainted only purifies you. Your only interaction with Valeria shook you. You stayed away. Only for the time being. Focusing your efforts on others that need exterminating. Bad people you can't prove are bad in the eyes of the law, but you know. You always know. It's a sixth sense. 

You stare down at the plastic wrapped body of a corrupt politician. Valeria's words ringing in your ears as you fill his grave with dirt. He was taking bribes from the cartel. He was actively trying to take away the rights of other people because of his greed and hatred. The plastic around his mouth slowly rises and falls. You had to do this.

You've been given a new case at work. They're looking for the person responsible for the murders of previous cases. They're looking for you. You're forced to stay silent while your collogues unknowingly call you all kinds of names. You're disheartened to hear that the general public thinks of you as a monster. You make them afraid.

You stay in late, acting as though you're looking into the murders of the previous cases when really, you're plotting your next move on Valeria. It's not safe at home anymore. You're too paranoid about her bugging your house. Even your office is starting to feel unsafe. During the day you eye your coworkers with distrust. One of them could very likely be working with Valeria.

You keep your head pressed to the wall. Eyes shut tightly so you can think.

'You and I are alike.'

Begrudgingly, you accept that the statement is true to an extent. Two sides of the same coin but where you are capable of doing bad things for good, she does bad things for selfish gain. You slowly move away from the wall. You can use that to your advantage. Think like Valeria to kill Valeria.

You're shoved to the ground with the barrel of a gun pressed to the back of your head. Valeria looks down at you with a blank expression.

"You were right." You say, looking up at her. The low lighting is giving you a headache.

"About?" Valeria raises a brow.

"Me. Us." You reply. "I'm too good for what I do and I am not appreciated. Why should I expend my energy fighting for people who think I'm a monster?"

Valeria stares you contemplatively. A glint in her eyes.

"Yes, why should you?" She hums. Valeria slowly walks towards you and crouches down to eye level.

"You told me to find you when I was ready to accept that." You say. Disturbed at the small part of you that's tempted to believe it.

You didn't get to work with her at first. Valeria is a distrustful person and for two weeks she kept you locked in a cage. Only after she began to let her guard down did she let you out. You started work guarding shipments. Feeling disgusted at how you were helping her. But you took your job seriously, even if you didn't agree with the tasks you were given, you still took it seriously. Telling yourself it's a necessary evil.

You pace the dock. Watching the dock workers sign off on the cargo and taking the bribe to keep quiet about it. A shot rings out and the worker falls to his knees. You and your companions dive for cover. Alarmed by the sudden and unexpected bullets flying through the air. Your only thought is to protect the cargo. Keep the cargo safe. Leaping up you make a run for the ship. Something wizzes past your face and slices your cheek. Warm blood trickles from the cut. Bullets rain behind you as you climb aboard. 

You swiftly run to the cargo hold. Pulling out your gun you sit silently. Waiting. Careful footsteps sound in the hall. Heavy combat boots against the floor. Your grip on your gun tightens. A man decked out in riot gear enters, rifle slowly panning over the room. You crouch low, hiding behind a large barrel.

You move out of sight. Keeping to the shadows. The man nudges the lid of another barrel, shining his light inside. Is he seeing alcohol or bags of cocaine? You sneak up behind you and cock your gun. The noise alerts the man, and he promptly swivels to face you, rifle pointed at your chest. He stiffens and says your name. You recognize his voice. You worked with him before. Familiarity means nothing to you. He lowers his weapon, but you keep yours pointed at him.

"Are you okay?" He asks. "You've been missing for weeks, we thought the cartel got you."

"It did." You say. Feeling a little regretful.

"... I'm going to get you out of here, okay?" He says softly, like he's trying to soothe a child.

You back up.

"One of us will be getting out of here, yes, but it won't be you." You reply.

"What are you talking about?" He says, his voice hardening. "Whatever they have over you, if you're scared, it doesn't matter, we can get you into a witness protection program."

You frown. "I can't let you leave because you will jeopardize the cartel and this shipment." You say. Something unpleasant crawls down your spine at the realization that you mean those words.

The man tightens his grip on his gun.

"You're here... willingly?" He asks hesitantly, sounding disappointed.

You remain stony faced. "I am." You nod.

He raises his gun, aiming for your chest. "Then I'm going to have to ask you to put your gun down and put your hands behind your head."

You slowly lower your gun and raise your hands, staring straight as him as you do so.

He circles around you and comes up from behind. You can hear his laboured breathing behind his mask. His gloved hand brushes your wrist and you swivel, grabbing his gun. He pulls the trigger, the shot sounding too loud in the cramped cargo hold. You hiss and wrench it away, stumbling. The force pushes him down and before he can stand and make himself an even bigger threat you fire into his chest blindly. Emptying the clip.

You realize that you're shaking. Your shoulders drop as you stare at what you've done. Shame and rationalization warring in your head. Hurried footsteps head towards the cargo hold and you hope it's not more of them. They stop and you feel the presence of people. You don't bother turning because whatever will happen, will happen.

"You protected the shipment." Valeria says. Sounding a little surprised. You were supposed to kill her. That was the whole point of seeking her out to join her cartel. Instead, you shot one of your own.

"That's what I'm supposed to do." You murmur. He isn't moving anymore. Are his eyes open or closed behind the helmet?

Valeria mutters something to the people beside her and they leave. She walks forward and puts her hands on your shoulders. Her face next to yours.

"I'm proud of you." She says. "Not everyone is capable of doing the right thing."

Her words comfort you somewhat. You wish it were her lying there instead. "hm."

"Your foot is bleeding." she tells you, grabbing you by the arm to lead you out of that room. "I'll patch that up for you."

[cherlawa-panna]

Barney Barton META: Childhood

▶The next post: Leaving the circus

This isn't exactly the META, more like a big note with my thoughts about Barney's personality during his childhood. Given that Clint's past, and Barney's past as well, is changed too often in the comics and it's confusing to understand what's going on, I'm going to take the bits that I think are important and squeeze it together. Because if I wanted to put everything in order logically, it would be impossible - his agenda changes too often.

I'll only talk about their lives before their parents' deaths and their first years in the circus. Barney's personality changes dramatically as he gets older and I don't want to write too much in one post.

Dedicated to @carcrash429 and @hawkzeyes. I love you <3

TW: Mentions of child abuse, violence, underage drinking

1. What kind of child was Barney?

The first thing worth noting is that despite the constant changes in Barney's personality, the authors always try to emphasize his role in Clint's story — as one who is "the worse brother," the "rotten" one who causes problems and is a schemer. The bad brother who is the opposite of the good brother. Two sides of the same coin — you know the deal.

Honestly, only Hawkeye Vol.3 showed Barney in some way as "morally better" than his brother. Everywhere else, it's emphasized that he's the worse version of Clint. You know the deal, Clint is the good-shoe guy, and Barney is the worst thing that ever existed. But why?

As we know, childhood plays a crucial role in shaping a person. To truly understand Barney, we need to delve into his early years and explore what kind of child he was. So let's start it, shall we?

- VIOLENT

A recurring trope we see in Clint's childhood memories is Barney teaching him something. I'll mention about this later in the post, but for now, let's focus on the most significant skill he taught Clint, which reveals a lot about Barney himself: he taught Clint how to fight.

(Hawkeye 2012 #12)

Not the self-defense way where you hit someone and run away. Not the stereotypical superhero kind where you fight to defeat someone because you're the good guy and they're the bad guy. No, Barney taught him how to fight in a way that would hurt, how to knock someone down so that they wouldn't be able to stand on their feet anymore.

(Hawkeye 2012 #15 & #21) [rip photo limit]

If someone attacks you, you show no mercy. An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. Beat them so they won't want to hurt you anymore.

(Hawkeye 2012 #19)

If there’s no one to defend you, you have to defend yourself. Barney started teaching Clint how to fight after Clint attempted to attack their father. It’s clear that Barney is the reason why his brother even knows how to hurt people. However, it was never explained why Bernard knows how to fight or where he learned this skill. And that's understandable; this flashback is about our golden boy, not about his problematic brother.

To understand why Barney might know how to fight, we need to explore his relationship with violence as a child.

He is an example of how trauma can make you angry—at what happened and what continues to happen. As a child still living with his parents, Barney is filled with hatred towards their father. This contrasts with Clint, who, for a long time, was the "good child" trying his best to earn his father's affection and better treatment.

(Solo Avengers 1988 #2)

Bernard was a "smart-mouth brat" who didn’t hesitate to speak back, even though he knew the consequences of doing so. Even better, this little guy wanted to beat his dad up so badly. Clint would never consider acting this way (until the events of Hawkeye Vol. 4, but I'll discuss that later). And it also seems that this wasn’t the first time Barney had behaved like this.

I have a theory that Barney likely had conflicts with other adults as well, mostly because of his statement in Solo Avengers 1988 #2 panel, where he says, "I'll show them all." This implies that he probably didn't want to take revenge against JUST his father. The way I interpret it is that his father wasn't the only person who treated him badly. We can interpret this in different ways: maybe he was talking about his bullies, maybe teachers or anybody who ever treated him badly. Who knows?

Avengers: Roll Call highlights how different their approach to their father was. Barney is explicitly described as being cynical and resentful as a child. In fact, he is described as a bitter kidwho took of his frustation on Clint by bullying him.

And his different approach to Harold is visible. Barney he has never been shown to say anything positive about their father. True, Clint also hated Harold, but as shown earlier, Clint for some time hoped he'd change, whereas Barney never believed in it. He always saw their father as a scumbag.

(Hawkeye: Blindspot #1)

His hatred for his father and how he was treated, naturally influenced his behavior in childhood, which you could see before. And we know he wasn't a "good boy" in any ways. Like for example, in Blindspot, Clint mentions that Barney was never the smarter of the two and believed that sometimes you need to fight dirty.

This panel illustrates that Bernard believed that the best way to resolve conflicts wasn't through calm, peaceful ways but by fighting dirty. It paints him as someone who often relied more on brute force. Because, in his eyes, it is an easier and more proven way to deal with problems. He saw it from his father and most likely from others that it was the best way; it always worked on him and Clint after all. 

Barney is depicted as a child who has no problem with being aggressive or violent, as shown in Hawkeye (2012) even towards his brother. Yes, while his intent was to provoke Clint, stir him up, and push him to act, the fact remains that Barney still resorted to violence.

Additionally, Barney used violence against Clint because he knew that this was the most effective way to provoke a reaction from him. By mimicking their father, he wanted to trigger Clint's deep-seated rage and bitterness—emotions that were already boiling beneath the surface.

Barney knew that Clint, fueled by anger and resentment towards their father at this moment, would respond to this. It’s likely that Barney didn’t spend much time thinking what he should do; he simply resorted to the method he knew best.

Despite his hatred for his father, he still copy him in some ways, and this behavior pattern stayed with him. Barney struggles to express his emotions or wants verbally, something that continues into his adult life. He rarely communicates his thoughts directly, instead, his feelings are often showed through his actions. This tendency is mostly evident in how he expresses his anger, which is often in violence.

He never fully learned healthier ways. While joining the army may have helped him develop some emotional control, his involvement in the Trickshot "business" clearly ruined it lmao.

Before I expand further on Barney's ability to fight, I want to finish the subject about their father (because I started it and I want to finish it. I know it makes this post very chaotic, but I can't help it).

-AFRAID

In Hawkeye (2012) there is a noticeable shift in the Bartons brothers. Barney becomes more calm, while Clint got increasingly bitter. It’s almost as if they’ve swapped their attitudes.

This is particularly evident in a scene where Clint attacks their father.

Initially, I thought Clint was solely focused on his father during this scene. However, it wasn’t until I noticed Barney’s eyes—fixed on Clint—that I realized he was also looking at him. He would first glance at Barney and then shift his focus to their father. Remember this, because it will be important later.

So let's focus on Barney in this moment (because this is a post about him, duh). Specifically when he says "Clint."

While we might interpret this as a warning to prevent Clint from doing something stupid, because Barney might have known it would upset him and make him do something reckless. But based on Barney's reaction afterwards, you can get the impression that it was the first time when Clint did something like that.

At that moment during dinner, Barney probably shouldn’t have know that Clint would react this way. So this "Clint" warning doesn't make any sense. Given that Clint was known to be a well-behaved child and Barney was his polar opposite, we have to look elsewhere for an explanation. And I'll rush you with my theory.

Since we know from All-New-Hawkeye, Barney was the one who always stood up for his brother (for example: Barney took the blame when they were suppose to work, but they sneaked in to see a perfomance)-

-then Clint might have been looking at Barney, hoping he would speak up against their father. Since he has been "obedient" so far, it’s reasonable to think that Barney might have developed a habit of standing up for him. After all, Barney didn't care about their father's opinions and hated his guts, so he could also speak on Clint's behalf just to piss their father off.

But when Clint realized that Barney had no intention of that, he reacted himself, which, as I mentioned earlier, was something he had never done before.

That's why I think the "Clint" could be interpreted as "Clint, not this time." Especially since Barney appears resigned to me.

Now you might be wondering: Why didn't Barney react? Why did Barney change his attitude? The answer is simple! This whole situation happened after Clint lost his hearing.

Let's take a closer look at this: Barney in Hawkeye (2012) is much calmer than in earlier comics showing him as a child. Here, we see that he's trying to take care of his brother (like when he came to Clint's room after the whole incident and brought an ice pack for the bruises). I think he stopped being so "rebellious" at home to not upset their father. Probably out of fear; if their father was capable to beat Clint so badly that he lost his hearing, what else might he be capable of?

So it's only logical for Barney to temper his normal behavior.

-A Troublemaker

Let's return to the topic of fighting: We can see that he learned how to fight so he could defend himself from his father. And due to his previously mentioned behavior, we can get the impression that he engaged in fights very often as a child.

He must have learned these skills from somewhere, so it’s clear he picked them up outside the home.

How did he learn? Who did he learn from? I don't know! It was never shown or mentioned where he learned all this, but I have theories.

Personally, I think Barney got himself in the wrong crowd during his childhood. Why?

Barney's main 'thing' in the comics is that he was in his brother's shadow and wanted to outshine him. And seriously, this is one of the main reasons why Barney hated his brother when he was in Dark Avengers lol. I honestly believe that their parents, especially after Clint lost his hearing, focused more on the good behaved younger brother, which may have led Barney to seek attention elsewhere. As a troublemaker, Barney likely engaged in stupid and dangerous behavior to gain the approval of others—behavior that fits his character trope. And I'm talking about drinking alcohol and stealing candy from the store.

Barney was shown twice drinking alcohol without flinching. While it’s possible he started drinking occasionally because their father did the same, I believe it’s likely that he also picked up this habit from other kids.

Adult Barney in the comics is portrayed as a charismatic guy with notable leadership skills. That's why I think that he definitely had a lot of childhood friends and wasn't a loner. However, he probably was not as popular as he wanted and due to his difficult personality (his bad temper), he certainly did not have stable friendships. This means there’s a good chance Barney fell in with the wrong crowd and because out of desperation to be liked, he would definitely do stupid things.

This kid was good with people. He was a fast-talker and had the ability to easily persuade people. Like, he successfully convinced Carson to take in two orphans from an orphanage. C'mon, he clearly had skills.

Barney is a manipulative bastard, who had a natural knack for playing people like a fiddle. I don't think I need to provide much evidence for that; after all he was in the mafia and held a high position there as an undercover FBI agent. That says it all.

The beginnings of his manipulating and persuading tactics began in childhood. We see in that infamous panel how he used his brother to do his chores. Of course, Clint started it on his own, hoping it would prompt Barney to stop being such an asshole. But you can bet that Barney did everything in his power to ensure Clint continued to do his chores. You can see it in his smirk.

(Solo Avengers 1988 #2)

From Avengers: Roll Call, we also know that Barney was bored and unloaded his anger on Clint by bullying him. Does this make Barney a villain evil brother? No. Based on other Clint's memories, he wasn't abusive, he was simply an asshole. And Clint, desperate for any form of affection, ended up in a this mix with Barney. It's a recipe for disaster.

Another intriguing detail worth mentioning is that Barney clearly had a thing or two on his conscience. We can see from the interaction between him and Jacques when the old man tried to persuade him into stealing.

"But you, you're a scrapper, Barney. Something tells me you know what it takes to survive"

So we know he wasn't an innocent child then. And Jacques was aware of this and knew that Barney would not refuse such offer. Of course, it can be said that he knew survival techniques from the orphanage, since as we know, the life in there was not sunshine and rainbows. But as we know from their life, their hardest lessons in survival came from their father. For years, Barney has learned how to play dirty to survive, even more than Clint. As Barney himself reflected in Hawkeye: Blindspot, he was the "Tricky One."

Did he steal before? Possible. Maybe he stole things in the orphanage. Or maybe candies from the store like I said before. No matter what, we know that he wasn't a good child.

-ENVIOUS

Since we’re discussing Barney’s involvement with stealing for circus, it’s worth noting that his agreement was fueled by jealousy. Because Clint got more attention and could do something better than him. This jealousy was never about wanting to be a performer/archer himself—contrary to what some people in fandom might think, Barney never showed any desire to be a circus attraction like his brother. In fact, when Swordsman offered them the chance to be his assistants, Bernard immediately refused.

He was simply envious of the attention Clint received and didn’t care about the circus itself. This jealousy made him more willing to engage in thefts—he was driven by a desire to be better than his brother in something. And well, being a tricky was one of the few things Barney excelled at.

2. What kind of brother was Barney?

-A TEACHER

The fact that Barney took care of his brother is already known from the post. He taught him everything from silly things like tossing a coin into a bottle, to more practical skills such as driving a car (possibly even a motorcycle) and how to talk with women. This shows that Barney genuinely cared for Clint and didn't want him to be a loser in life. Which makes sense since Bernard was in some way his caretaker after their parents deaths.

-A PROTECTOR

But more of him being "a caring big brother" was shown in All-New Hawkeye. While I don't like Hawkeye All-New, I do appreciate how it delves into Clint and Barney’s past.

Barney is the one who goes to their foster father and took the blame, because he did not want this bastard to hurt Clint.

He was also the one who offered to earn money for Clint so his brother could focus on learning archery instead and wouldn't be kicked out of the circus.

He repeatedly shouldered every responsibility and tried to protect him.

As previously mentioned, when Barney first got involved in "work" for Carson, his initial motivation was jealousy of the attention Clint was receiving and a desire to prove his own worth. However, as time went on, Barney became less enthusiastic about the thefts but felt compelled to continue. He knew that stopping could lead to them being throwed out from the circus—the only place where they could call a "home". And despite everything, he was determined not to drag Clint into this mess too.

In Hawkeye Vol. 3, it’s noted that Barney encouraged Clint to pursue his education ever since they escaped from the orphanage. I interpret this as Barney recognizing that life in the circus was neither secure nor ideal. He was not emotionally attached to this place, viewing it merely as a temporary situation. Barney wanted Clint to have more opportunities beyond the circus, which contrasted sharply with his brother belief that the future was bound there.

(That’s why I dislike the trope in fanfics where Barney is portrayed as someone who would let Clint to die because of circus. NO. While joining the circus was initially Barney’s idea, they stayed because it was their only option at the time. Barney would always choose his brother over the circus. He only left because he was fed up with living that way and saw no way to get Clint out, since Clint was too stubborn.)

What’s interesting to me is that Barney seems to have stopped stealing for the circus once he became an adult, considering their conversation after Clint was offered the chance to join to the "business".

(I KNOW that this comic was made before All-New Hawkeye and that’s why Barney reacted this way. BUT I’ll interpret it however I want, and there's nothing you can do about it.)

I don’t know why Barney stopped, but perhaps when he became an adult, he was able to take on more demanding jobs in the circus and no longer had to steal to pay for their upkeep (plus, Clint started performing and earning money). And as we can see, Barney doesn’t want Clint to steal. Even though Barney had do the same thing as a child to keep them in the circus, he didn't want Clint to fall into that same trap.

-A CARETAKER

FINALLY, I’d like to shift the focus to Barney’s role as a caretaker for his brother, particularly during their childhood, even before they ended up in the orphanage and Barney had to fully assume the role of guardian. Specifically, I want to delve into Barney’s responsibilities a caretaker when Clint lost his hearing.

I don’t have comic panels to back up my words because the comics don’t delve deeply into Clint’s past as a deaf child. However, I’ll draw on real-life knowledge to support my points. Although I’m not a sibling of a deaf person, but I have deaf friends and have read a lot of psychological studies to better write the dynamics of Clint in his family lol.

Sometimes a hearing sibling, often under parental influence, takes on the roles of caregiver, rehabilitator, or translator for their deaf sibling. They're often actively involved in therapeutic processes, taking on numerous responsibilities related to helping their deaf sibling in their everyday life.

Why do I believe Barney had such a role? The answer is simple: Barney knows ASL since he was a child.

I know it doesn't immediately meant that he had this kind of resposibility. But hear me out. We don’t know if their parents learned ASL and how Clint learned it, but one thing is certain: Barney learned it with him. Depending on how we imagine the situation, Barney could have acted as a communicator between Clint and their parents, as well as with the outside world. I've read about cases where deaf kids learn sign language, and hearing siblings often pick up the language better than their parents. This often leads to the siblings acting as translators between parents and deaf child.

Another evidence is that he was also present during Clint's visit to the doctor.

Barney probably really wanted to be present during this, but why did his parents let him? I find this strange. Maybe they just expected Barney to help take care of his brother?

This certainly made Clint more dependent on his brother.

Clint clearly was dependent on him, since he always consistently influenced Clint's life decisions. Why did Clint run away from the orphanage? Because it was Barney's idea. Why did Clint join the circus? Because it was Barney's idea. Why didn't Clint leave the circus when he discovered its true nature? Because Barney said it was the only way they would survive.

Why did Clint later want to leave the circus despite his reluctance? Because Barney wanted to leave.

As Barney put it in All-New Hawkeye, "Where I go, Clint goes." Clint's life revolved around his older brother for many years. Mainly because after their parents' death, he only had Barney. But even before that, we can feel that Barney had a significant role in his life.

For instance, we see this during the moment they received the news of their parents' passing.

Barney only needed a few seconds to comprehend what happened before he immediately focused his attention on Clint, ignoring his own feelings at the moment. Maybe he wasn't fully aware at the time, but he felt from that moment on he would have to take care of Clint completely.

We need to be aware that Barney wasn't an ideal brother for such a role. He was full of anger, bitterness and of his own problems that he couldn't fully address due to their situation. He was just a kid himself. Barney was thrust into the role of a parent and teacher when he himself needed a parent and teacher. His attempt at "raising" Clint was a series of trial and error because he had no idea what he was doing.

But despite being a troubled child, Barney did a good job taking care of Clint, at least considering what Clint says about him in Blindspot.

I know many fans are angry at Barney for leaving Clint, but I see it as a moment when he finally did something for himself. He accepted that Clint was mature enough to decide for himself. Besides, him leaving Clint's life was good for Clint because if he had stayed, his brother probably would have never left Carson (or he would have joined the military with him) and never found himself. Clint relied on his brother for so long and he needed to be on his own for a while to find his place in the world.

3. The summary

Barney was hot-headed, extremely bitter, and was the most angry kid ever. But he also adapted well to the situation imposed on him and tried to help Clint adapt as well. We know anger often stems from fear, and to me, Barney is a scared child who doesn't know what to do but still wanted to do something.

And that's all I wanted to write about his childhood. Was Barney an angel? No. Was he the worst brother in the world? Also no. Does he need therapy? Absolutely.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

2 songs per album 😊

which was a follow up to:

ok now I have my marching orders 😂

This is suuuuuuuuuuuch an interesting question!!! I'm not sure I'm going to do it justice but let's try:

under a cut because it got to be toooooooo long

Debut:

Tim McGraw and Picture to Burn

The former because it's a hallmark of Taylor's writing right from the jump: taking ordinary moments and imbuing a lifetime of importance to them; introducing what might become her most trademark writing theme, memory and wanting to be remembered, and how by their very nature they're ephemeral and only exist in a moment in time; sweetness and intimacy mixed with between-the-lines budding sensuality and coming of age; the self-doubt mixed with self-respect; overall just an excellent example of her storytelling as well as her musicality.

(Also: love that it flips the script on what you'd expect "Tim McGraw" to be about. It's not about the country star or idolizing him, but rather taking this very ordinary bit of her and her lover's lives and knowing that it's a memory forever linked between the two of them and their time together.)

The latter because it's an excellent example of yeehaw female rage banger that is also one of Taylor's calling cards. SO STRIKE A MATCH ON ALL MY WASTED TIME AS FAR AS I'M CONCEEEERNED YER JUST ANOTHER PICTURE TO BEEEEEEEERN!!!!

Basically, these two are the duality of woman lol.

(I swear I'm not writing this much for each album lol.)

Fearless:

Love Story and Fifteen

This was harder because there are so many hits from Fearless, but ultimately I had to go with Love Story because it was her signature song for so long, and perfectly encapsulates why she became a superstar with this album. It's got a catchy hook, a familiar story ripped out of high school curriculum except it gets the happy ending, and again lays out themes that end up turning up over and over again: being misunderstood, falling for someone her loved ones don't approve of, her lover making a grand gesture, and everyone coming around when she gets the ring on her finger! (Stop me if you've heard this one recently.)

Plus: even though we haven't spoken in nearly a decade, this song will always remind me of driving down a specific street with one of my best friends in university.

I picked Fifteen because it is also another bit of what would become classic Taylor lyricism: reflecting on the loss of youth, curiously while right in the thick of it herself. "When all you wanted is to be wanted" ends up coming up over and over again in just about every facet of her life and her writing throughout her career. Which comes up even more strongly in...

Speak Now:

Dear John and Never Grow Up

Again, this was really hard because you could go so many directions: The big hits like the love story of Mine or the clapback of Mean or the ballad of Back to December or Last Kiss or the triumphant Long Live... But ultimately I picked Dear John and Never Grow Up because they're two sides of the same coin, and I think they're the underpinning of much of the rest of the music and emotional landscape of the album. Because this is the first glimpse we have of her writing about ~trauma~. And also, I think, the first real exploration of her public persona vs. her private struggles.

Dear John is a remarkably astute and self-aware song written by someone just exiting their teen years clocking what in retrospect with added context was a harrowing and life-changing experience, and it's wrapped up in all the other stuff we know she was dealing with that informed other songs too. The yearning to be taken seriously while still having a foot in the door of childhood, wanting to experience adult milestones but unsure of how, being pilloried in the media essentially just for existing, continually being pursued by and scapegoated by men for their own gain (both personally and professionally), etc. Dear John as a song and I think as an experience is one of the clearest before/after moments of her discography and her life. And it features another Taylor staple: reading a man for absolute filth with deadly accuracy.

By the same token, to me Never Grow Up is the companion piece to this. I've always read it as a deeply sad song about mourning childhood and innocence, and the final twist of "wish I'd never grown up" is a gut punch, knowing everything she'd actually been through in writing the album. (Which is why it's a direct pipeline to "give me back my girlhood, it was mine first" a decade later.) Dear John is the event, and Never Grow Up is the aftermath. And yet, there's still so much hope within the song, because she desperately wants to protect the child in the song from growing up too soon, and wants them to cling on to every bit of their childhood as long as they possibly can. There's so much tenderness and self-reflection through the medium of the child she's singing about, and again: that is remarkably astute for such a young writer, so close to the childhood she's writing about.

Red

All Too Well and We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

As usual, this was really hard.

Well, sorta: All Too Well is the gimme. Like, not only is that a perfect representation of Red, it's one of, if not THE keystone song in her discography. It tells the whole story of what inspired the album and I think "I remember it all too well" just sums up her entire being. You've got excellent writing about small moments that later become infused with grand meaning, you've got two banger bridges, you've got a catchy hook that can't get out of your head, you've got electric guitars and drums that make the song go hard... It's quintessential Taylor. I can't say anything more about it that hasn't already been said.

I had a hard time picking the second song because there are others that I by far prefer, I think We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together is a good pick because again: it's catchy, it contains an earworm for better or for worse, and she reads another man the riot act... but most importantly, it's a clear shift into unmistakable pop, which brings us to...

1989

Blank Space and Clean

1989 was my favourite Taylor album until folklore came out, and I am still a 1989 stan through and through, so I will never miss my chance to jump on a soapbox to defend it. And I picked these two songs because not only are they a great representation of the soundscape, but they're also two of the thematic pillars of the album.

I almost picked Style, because I think it's pop perfection, but Blank Space edged it out here because it showcases another part of Taylor's writing she doesn't get enough credit for: her cleverness and sense of humour, but the ways in which she uses them are also incredibly vulnerable and revealing. The surface layer of the song is biting satire on the maneater image imposed on her by the media, but underneath it is commentary on the ways women are set up by men to be these figures, both in public and behind closed doors. And as we later learn on the re-record, through her prologue and in vault tracks like Slut!, that experience was incredibly hurtful and damaging. But she took that pain and turned it into art, and it again launched her into the stratosphere. And she does it all with a beat you can't get out of your head.

Clean is kind of the flip side to it in the sense that it washes away (lol) the bravado and the narrative devices and shows what really drives it, which how another person can break you and mark you so deeply that you lose your entire sense of self in the process, and the absolute grit it takes to crawl yourself out of the depression it left in its wake. (Which ends up being yet another major cornerstone of her writing: mental health and the ways in which life can level you.)

Essentially, to me this pairing is the flashiness of what the public sees (Blank Space) vs. the snowballing struggles behind closed doors (Clean), and the tension between the two not only drives much of the narrative of the album, but what would happen following it.

(1989 is not shallow nor sterile, it is vulnerable and insightful and clever but just does so in an economy of words and I will die on that hill, thank you for coming to my TED Talk)

Reputation

Look What You Made Me Do and Call It What You Want

Again this is tricky because while neither of these are necessarily my favourite songs on the album, I do think they're better representatives of the sound and the themes of Reputation better than my faves.

LWYMMD highlights the tonal and sonic shift of the album, the harder, harsher, angrier beats leaving 1989's curated sound behind. This will probably put me in Swiftie jail, but I really disliked this song when it came out-- rather, I really dug the verses, but I haaaaaaaaated the chorus. (I found it so annoying lol. Also remember hearing it about a million times on a road trip through the Maritimes with friends that fall.) Time has definitely changed my perspective on it, especially after the Rep tour and Eras tour performances of it, and I also know that jarring change was purposeful. All that to say, I picked it because I think it was meant to be divisive and shocking (coming from Taylor) and kind of marked her shedding of her public "good girl" image. Where the satire in Blank Space is clever and cheeky, the satire (if you can even call it that) in LWYMMD is all bite. She's mad as hell and she isn't going to take it anymore; nobody is in on the joke like in Blank Space, instead she's out for blood. And it sets up the duality of the album, which is yet another instance of a major recurring theme in her work: the public perception of her and her downfall, vs the private story of recovery and young love growing out of it.

There were a couple of contenders for the second song, but I picked Call It What You Want because to me, it calls back to that very tumultuous period. Where LWYMMD is full of bombast and the ways in which she was wronged and her anger over it (valid), CIWYW (I hate acronyms have I mentioned that) is a tender reflection on it. Her world was crumbling and she was ostracized, but she found a port in the storm and somehow weathered it, coming out of it if not stronger, then at least surviving and with renewed perspective.

And like she's spoken about Rep, the album is a bit of a bait and switch in that it was marketed as a bit of a Burn Book scathing attack on what happened to her in 2016, but it was mainly about a love story that grew out of that pain, and CIWYW is that story. She brought a knife to a gunfight, they took her crown, she disappeared, she came back pricklier and closed off, but behind closed doors, she found someone who loved her and understood her, and that was enough to get her through and rebuild her life.

But it also shows remarkable vulnerability: "And I know I make the same mistakes every time / Bridges burn, I never learn / At least I did one thing right, I did one thing right," is one of those lyrics that has always stuck with me, because even amidst the self-respect throughout the rest of the song (e.g. they fucked me over but I don't even care anymore because I found something real), there's this very raw moment of self-loathing in "I never learn," like, I keep screwing things up, but at least I didn't screw this one thing up. And this will also be essential for a couple of future albums, if you catch my drift.

(Is anyone surprised I didn't pick my beloved baby New Year's Day?)

Lover

Cruel Summer and Lover

Again, this is hard! I see so many pairings, whether musically, thematically, storytelling-wise, or new elements as yet discussed! So in the end, I split the difference.

I picked Cruel Summer because I think it represents some of the sonic shifts in Lover, and I think it is just one of those pop bangers that really showed what she could do and what the album was, in part. It's got an epic bridge you want to scream-sing! It's got a messy situationship that has led to catching feelings and that is THE WORST! It's got a narrative twist at the end! And like with so many other songs on the album, the pulsing beat kind of makes you feel the very anxiety she's writing about throughout the song. I'm so glad Cruel Summer had its moment in the sun thanks to Eras because it deserved to be the biggest single off Lover imo lol.

Lover was my second choice because I think it represents the other part of the main story of the album. Unsurprisingly with an album and title track of this name, the main story throughout the album is about a couple building a life together, from messy casual hookup to walking down the aisle. Lover the song kind of distills that all into a wedding march: it goes from a couple moving into their first home together, to building a life with their own friends and family, to the quiet intimacy of inside jokes and shared dinners, leading to the imagery of the final vows. But it's also self-reflective, with moments of anxiety and reflection but also deep longing for this future together. It's classic Taylor storytelling. Also, I love the bass in it.

folklore

august and seven

aaaaaaaaah folklore my beloved, this is impossible.

I know my choices might seem weird, but hear me out.

I could make a case for almost every song on this album. Because if we're thinking in things of pairs/dualities in this exercise, I think you've got two big stories/themes in folklore: the exploration of feelings through fictional stories as a departure from her usual*, and her quietly personal confessional songs.

*Taylor has always been inspired by and/or written about fictional scenarios, I just mean crafting a whole album around them.

I almost picked the last great american dynasty and peace for this very reason, but made a last minute pivot to these two. I picked august because it hits some of folklore's major points: it's got a fictional story infused with Taylor's own lived experiences, it's got a deeply evocative story of its own contained within the song, it's also tied into the teenage love triangle throughout the rest of the album, it has some iconic lines that are now deeply intertwined with pop culture (what month is it, tumblr), and it kind of covers the melodic landscape of folklore as a whole.

Like I said, I almost picked peace as one of the songs, because I think "our coming of age has come and gone" is one of her all-time confessional lines and will prove to be important for what's to come, along with believing it is one of her most tender expressions of love, BUT we must be ruthless in this game. So I picked seven because if august is a song about love gained and lost, seven fits right into one of Taylor's songwriting pillars of lost innocence. I think it's such a wonderful example of Taylor writing from a fictionalized version of her seven year old self, with the whimsy and innocence of a child who doesn't know what the world yet holds, but the shades of those experiences creeping in. (e.g. "I think your house is haunted, your dad's always mad and that must be why" -- what a punch in the gut to infer an abusive household through the eyes of a child who doesn't understand why their parent is upset. Um, this may be far too #relatable but I digress anyway let me stop before i drudge up my childhood trauma lmao.) It's also hauntingly beautiful.

evermore

'tis the damn season and evermore

EVERMORE MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!

Let me say it again: this was really hard.

Like with folklore, there's a juxtaposition between the fictionally-crafted stories and the obviously personal ones, and several songs could stand in for either category.

I picked TTDS, but honestly, I could have also gone with champagne problems, tolerate it, coney island, etc. Maybe I should have! But I picked TTDS because it's accessible and stands on its own, and I love the sound of it with the electric guitars. It SOUNDS like that liminal period between the holidays, where you can pretend to be another person because nothing counts, where you question all the choices you've ever made in your life and pretend you can be someone else. You can pretend that this will work, you can pretend that the rest of the world and who you really are don't matter, that you aren't inherently fucked up. And tbh that's present in so many of the songs on evermore anyway. IDK I'm losing steam on all this writing so I'm just grasping at straws right now. Ask me again and I'd probably choose another song instead.

evermore I picked because a) it is my beloved forever and ever and b) I think it encapsulates a lot of the feelings she was dealing with from rep through evermore, and would right through TTPD. Even though it's draped in metaphor, imo it's one of the more explicit explorations of the depths of her depression (including suicidal ideation) and the toll 2016 took on her. It feels like it cracked open the door that would eventually be blown wide open on TTPD. And I think it's one of the most vulnerable songs she'd written up to that point and one of the first that was really open about her mental health struggles, even if it's it's cloaked in the shipwreck imagery.

Midnights

Anti-Hero and You're On Your Own Kid

I thought this was going to be way harder because there are SO many rich themes on Midnights (and tbh there are other songs that I think are better representatives of them), but these two I think encapsulate the album the most accessibly, and were the first ones to come to mind when I had to make a snap judgment.

Anti-Hero is here both because it was SUCH a huge hit and such a good example of the sound that found its way throughout the album, AND because it's a great sequel to evermore in how it delves into her mental health challenges. Where evermore asks the listener to go on a journey and like, read between the lines, Anti-Hero is upfront with its self-loathing, depression, anxiety, fears, etc. It's very much Taylor as a person in song-form, and THAT is what weaves its way through the sleepless nights of Midnights. It's a certified bop but it's also an existential crisis! And that is where Taylor excels lol. Once you hear it you will never get "It's me, hi! I'm the problem, it's me" out of your head, nor will you ever forget "I wake up screaming from dreaming one day I'll watch as you're leaving, and life will lose all its meaning for the last time." Hence the spiral throughout the rest of the album lol.

YOYOK I think is pretty self-explanatory. It's another revisiting of childhood that dovetails into the struggles of adulthood. It's wistful and bittersweet and triumphant. It instigated the friendship bracelet craze at Eras! It's a celebration of every step of her life that led to this exhilarating moment in her career! It's the recognition that she made all of this happen, no matter how much heartbreak she faced along the way. "From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes" is one of my favourite lyrics ever. And we all know where we were when we heard "I hosted parties and starved my body like I'd be saved by the perfect kiss." It's brutal, yet it's a reclamation of everything that got her here.

The Tortured Poets Department

This is actually impossible, both because there are 31 songs, and because how do I pick?!?!

Fresh Out The Slammer and loml

I picked FOTS because the song kind of covers the two main experiences that drive the top story of the album: the disintegration of a long-term relationship and the intense and overwhelming rush of the following affair she runs to to escape it when it ends. It hits so many of the main points of the album: feeling discarded and unloved, being emotionally depleted by a partner who takes out his own struggles on her and her resulting cratering mental health, the insinuation of feeling imprisoned by the life she was leading, the between-the-lines implication of how the eventually-revealed conman wins her affections, the flood of the mania in running to him as soon as she leaves her partner, the projection of her hopes onto this person as the fantasy builds in her head, etc.

In a similar vein, I picked loml, because it's what happens after the crash of the mania in FOTS and the processing of the disintegration of the relationship before it. I could have picked other songs and again, I probably would if asked again, but I see these two as tied together as the beginning and end of two stories. Plus, I fundamentally believe "you shit-talked me under the table, talking rings and talking cradles" is absolutely essential for understanding TTPD and understanding what she's writing about and why. It's the loss of and exploitation of those two very specific and devastating things that drive all the action of the album imo.

Plus, the two songs kind of cover both ends of the spectrum of the soundscape of TTPD, from the twangy, at times kinda wild west sound of FOTS to the sad piano ballad of loml.

[shinehalley]

In a way, the first Sonic movie aren't just about the origin story of Sonic as a superhero, but of Robotnik as a supervillain in equal measure. Because if you stop to think about it, they both have similar origins before the films (being lonely orphans) and because of that they developed qualities that already propelled them towards some of the hero or villain traits that they present throughout the story. Both Sonic and Robotnik had a life before they crossed paths, but it's only after establishing their rivalry that it seems like they've truly found a purpose. Sonic using his powers to help people and Robotnik using his technology to gain more power.

I think that film 2 is where this becomes even clearer, because it is not only when Sonic establishes himself as a superhero, learning about responsibilities, but when Robotnik establishes himself as a supervillain with his ambitions.

No spoilers, but even movie 3 draws a parallel between Sonic and Robotnik in terms of family and belonging. I don't feel like they're opposite sides of the same coin, but the same side in different coins, the same archetype in a different context, and I really like how the movies create these connections between them. Because what's a superhero without a supervillain and how different are they really from each other?