nightlyrequiem - Tumblr blog

nightlyrequiem · 6 days ago

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Pen Pal IV unfinished draft

Not proof read, not edited. Just 3,949 words of nonsense

The moon hangs high in the sky. Pale and bloated like a corpse. The night is cloudless; it's light shines over the rusty desert like a dim spotlight. a sandy coloured coyote noses through the sparse shrubs. Moist nose twitching as it searches for grubs. It finds a fat worm and swiftly licks it up with a pink tongue, barely chewing on the fatty body before swallowing and continuing its search.

The stones under paw, usually too hot during the day now feel pleasantly cool. It raises its head and twitches its ears at the sound of some nocturnal desert bird shrieking. It lowers its head back down to the dusty earth to continue its snuffling.

It pauses when the ground begins to softly rumble. Shaking up small pebbles and sending vibrations through its course fur. A massive, rolling shape appears over the distance. Growling loudly and heading straight for it. Its eyes gleam brightly. Brighter than even the moon.

The coyote stares, transfixed. Even as the growling grows closer and its fear mounts into something uncontrollable, the coyote finds itself unable to move. A foul metal smell wreathes around it unpleasantly. The beast slams right into its lean, hungry body.

Something loudly bumps into the truck and Valeria hears a faint yelp. She readjusts her grip on the assault rifle in her lap. Slim and shiny. Hard, like the exoskeleton of an insect. Excitement and anxiety swell inside of her like a second beating heart. She runs her fingers over the ridges on the rifle's sides, calming herself.

The truck slows to a shaky crawl before stopping. The engine cuts and without the low rumbling, Valeria can hear the loud chirping of insects outside.

"Break into groups." She says, rising to her feet. Her soldiers follow suit. Standing at once and neatly filing out of the back.

Five men go to Diego, five go to her. She looks at Diego, narrowing her eyes. He nods back. Yes, he says with his eyes. He remembers the plan. She raises two fingers and starts sprinting off to the left. Her group follows diligently, moving as one big shadow.

The base sits before them darkly. A big gray blob among a sea of red and brown. Heavy duty spotlights light up the surrounding area. It's been years since she's stepped foot here, but all the memories are rushing back to her at once. This is where she once thought she'd make her mark on the world. She scoffs to herself quietly, laughing at the idea now.

Shapes as big as ants mill around. Mindlessly working on nightly chores like the little drones they are. Though she can't see them from this distance, she knows two soldiers each hide in the lookout posts. Guns loaded and ready. They have no idea that they're about to be slaughtered.

It's almost too nice of a night to taint. The moon is huge, waxy and beautiful. Are you looking at it right now? You're afraid for her. You told her as much. That fact fills her with determination to see this through. No one's ever been afraid for her. Of her, is another story. Carefully she digs into her vest pocket and pulls out a folded photo. Your face is marred with little white lines from where she kept folding it, and the edges are starting to tear. It's the very first picture you sent to her while she was still stuck behind bars.

She looks at your unsure, awkward face one last time. She's not just doing this for herself. She's doing it for you, too. She gives the signal for her one man to approach the towering chain-link fence. Careful to avoid being spotted by a guard, he makes his way towards the blind spot she pointed out.

Alejandro always prided himself on his efficiency and safety measures. His base was something to envy. Something so great that an American just had to try and colonize it. She scowls, remembering that little, smug, blond prick. Came into her town, killed not only cartel soldiers, but civilians alike. Not a small crime she'll easily forgive but he's gone elsewhere, not in country anymore. Valeria has to prioritize.

The worst part is the waiting. Anxiety rolls in her stomach like big marbles while she waits for the lights to go out. They'll only have a short window of opportunity to get in while the soldiers are still confused and blinded.

On cue, the large spotlights click off. Shrouding the entire base in darkness.

"Move." Valeria orders roughly. With a gloved hand she reaches up and turns on her night vision goggles, turning her field of view green.

* * *

The emergency lights flood the inside of the base. Gunfire pops around her, coupled with the sounds of people yelling and barking orders. Something wizzes by Valeria and slices into her bicep. She hisses and jerks back behind a wall.

She unclips the magazine and checks her ammo. She raises her eyes to the ceiling, silently praying. Something she hasn't done in years. She's running out. Not enough. Never enough. She always falls just short of the goal post.

This is a disaster. All her plans are unraveling before her like a poorly woven blanket. She's lost contact with Diego's group. Her own group got split up after a bad luck encounter with a group of Vaqueros. She's not sure if any of them made it. Maybe she's the last one left.

She carefully looks around the edge, eyeing the balcony on the second level. She searches through fading memory for the path to the comms room. She bets Rudolfo is hiding there, relaying precious information to his precious colonel. If she can just get to Rudolfo, she can force Alejendro to call of his soldiers. The stakes will definitely shift. Alejandro likes to pretend that he's some selfless war hero existing only to help the people of Las Almas against monsters like her.

But he's not capable of being truly selfless. He'd choose Rudolfo's life over anyone else's. Two soldiers creep into view, rifles raised defensively, searching. She raises her own, looking through the scope. The head of one lines up in the crosshair and she squeezes the trigger.

A loud pop echoes through the room. and the soldier crumples to the ground. Her companion whisp around and fires at Valeria but she's already ducking around the wall. The rapid gunfire explodes the edges of the wall she was just peeking around.

"There's one over here!" The last soldier yells. His boots loudly thud against the ground. Alerting her of his approach.

She sets down her rifle and grabs the small dagger strapped to her thigh. She needs to conserve her ammo. At least until she can steal his gun and check it. Valeria crouches low right against the wall.

The muzzle of his gun comes into view before he does. Like the snout of a dog. As soon as she sees his body she leaps up and slams the blade into his jugular. Instinctively he pulls the trigger, firing rapidly into the ground. She snatches the assault rifle from him and watches him quickly bleed out.

Before any more pests can come and corner her, she steps over his body and jogs through the clearing towards the stairs. Her heart traces as she's in the open, head on a swivel. She makes it there without taking a bullet or attracting attention.

She ascends. The metal steps announcing her movements to whoever may be close enough to hear. She turns left. Slipping through the long hallway with ease. She keeps her gun raised, held at chest height.

The control room is right at the end of the hall. Kept secure behind a metal door. Valeria tries it, seeing that it's not locked. What an idiot. She thinks. She opens the door, revealing the computers and radios. And a broad back turned to her.

"A civilian? Ale... I don't think-" Rodulfo tenses and turns around, face to face with the barrel of her rifle. He sucks in a breath, eyes rounded and making him look even more puppy like then he normally does.

"Valeria!" He says, voice hardening. The radio crackles to life.

"Rudy? What's going on?" Comes Alejandro's distorted voice. She grazes her finger over the trigger.

"Tell him to tell his soldiers to stand down. Now." She demands. "Or I will kill you."

Rudolfo stares back at her. Defiant and calculative.

"Now!" She demands, right as Alejandro speaks again.

"Talk to me! What's happening over there?"

Rudolfo raises the radio to his mouth.

"She's here." He says.

"Valeria?" Anger sharpens his voice. Audible even through the electrical distortion of the radio. "... Valeria can you hear me?"

She scowls and steps closer, gun locked on Rudolfo to keep him compliant.

"Yes." She says. "I have a gun pointed at him. Unless you want him to die, you will call of your little Vaqueros. You will tell them to drop their weapons and lock themselves in the bunker. Do you got that?"

"Don't do it Ale-"

Valeria whips him in the head with her rifle. "Shut up!"

She expects Alejandro to react angrily. He won't comply at first but Valeria will make him. He'll cave eventually.

"... That won't be happening, Valeria." He finally replies. His calmness sends pin pricks of confusion and unease through her. Sweat beads on the back of her neck. "I don't know if you're really capable of loving or even caring about another person. But I have someone with me." Her heart plummets at the new, muffled voice struggling to be heard through the radio.

"... Valeria?"

She freezes completely, at a loss. Fear, anger, shock. They all fight for dominance. She never thought Alejandro would go for you. That's something she'd pull. Not Alejandro. She says your name. Blood starting to boil.

"Maybe you don't care. But if you don't want me to put a bullet in their head, you will do what I say. You will call off however many men you even have let, set down your weapon, and let Rudy arrest you."

Her thoughts race. She's so close, yet so far.

Are you really worth giving up for? No. She doesn't think you are. But you're not worth giving up on either.

"If you kill them, I'll kill Rudy." She snaps. She lashes out and before he can react, grabs Rodolfo by the neck and throws him down. He grunts and she jabs the end of her rifle to the back of his head.

"Don't give in to her." He warns, earning him a sharp jab to the back of the head.

"Call off your soldiers. Meet me outside the base. North-East, two miles. Bring them." She demands.

She's trembling slightly. She doesn't know if he'll agree. His prolonged silence makes her nervous. What will she do if he doesn't agree? You might die. And she'll still have too many soldiers to deal with.

"... Fine." He concedes. His voice is gravelly, thick with anger. She hears him faintly talking into another radio. "... Not kill... let them pass... I've told them to stand down. Meet me there and bring Rudolfo alive."

She dogwalks Rodolfo out of the comms room. One edge, despite Alejandro telling his soldiers to stand down. She sticks close to him, using him as a meat shield. She walks past new corpses. Restoring some of her hope and confidence. Some of her men are still alive.

As she's on her way out she almost runs straight into Diego. He doesn't see her at first and almost shoots Rodolfo.

"Don't!" She barks, stopping him. "I need him alive."

"Sorry." He says. He lowers his weapon. "All of my group but one are K.I.A." He informs her.

"I don't know the status of mine. The idiots scattered almost immediately." She growls. "Is everything in place?"

The plan was to come in and pick off as many soldiers as possible, plant explosives, and get out. Destroy the base and pick off any injured survivors.

"Yes. What are you doing?" He asks, eyeing the man in her grip.

"Making a trade off." She tells him. "Stay here and make sure no one leaves. Alejandro called them off. I don't know how long that will last though." She pushes past him, shoving Rodolfo along.

The halls of the base are long and winding. Hard to navigate with her fading memories of it. She remains perpetually tense. Whenever Rodolfo lags, she jabs him in the back. Their history together means nothing to her. The length of time she's known him is unimportant. She fought side by side with him once, but she'd kill him in a heartbeat if she didn't need him alive. Rudy knows this too. He remains silent through the entire walk. She appreciates that, at least. All pleading and trying to appeal to her 'better nature' does is annoy her.

Two miles is too long of a walk for the time sensitive situation. Valeria forces Rodolfo to retrieve the keys to one of the many armored vehicles around. He leads her into the armory. Rows upon rows of heavy artillery just waiting on the shelves. Vests. Handhelds.

On the west wall is a row of hooks. Holding fifteen identical sets of keys. She edges past him and grabs a pair. Then she pauses, eyes drifting over the zip ties left on the table beside her. She grabs them and approaches Rudy.

"Hands behind your back." She demands. He looks at the zip ties in her hand then at her. He looks like he's about to protest before thinking better of it. It's hard to argue with someone holding an assault rifle. She grabs his wrists roughly and zips them up. Making sure it's nice and uncomfortable.

"Let's go. Move." She says. Rudy glares but smartly does as she says. He trudges ahead of her. All too aware of the rifle pressed to the small of his back.

She manages to slip out of the base without coming into contact with any Vaqueros. She jogs towards one of the trucks parked in the clearing, dragging Rodolfo along with her. She throws open the passenger side door and throws him in. Then rounds the truck and climbs in the driver side.

She inserts the key into the ignition and gives it a twist. The engine growls to life and she wastes no time in putting in in drive. She floors it. Speeding right towards the towering chain-link fence and busting straight through it. Rudy, who was unable to buckle himself up, is flung forward. He yelps and she hears his head hit the dash. Through her peripheral she watches him struggle to raise himself back up.

Valeria wonders what she'll find when she gets to the spot. Will you be unharmed? Will you be there at all? With a mounting dread, she realizes she never even considered that she could be walking into an ambush. In her haste to get to you, she overlooked that possibility.

Her hands tighten on the wheel. The sweat from her palms making it slippery. The bright headlights illuminate the empty, feral road. The heavy wheels roll over small plants and cacti, crushing them into the ground. Finally, the silhouettes of two people become distinguishable from the desolate backdrop of the Mexican desert.

Vague shadow shapes solidify into colours and limbs the closer she gets. She stops twenty feet away and kills the engine. She doesn't get out right away. She just observes the situation. Wanting to get as much information about what she's walking into before she gets out.

She looks at you the most. You look so scared. All your fears justified as you're kidnapped and dragged out to the middle of nowhere. Remorse flickers in her heart. Weak and foreign but there. She failed to keep her promise. Her jaw clenches.

"Out." She snaps. She opens the door and steps out, boots kicking up dust.

Rodolfo follows slowly. Encouraged forward by her gun. Alejandro is a lot gentler with you then she is with Rudy, nudging you forward. However, there's a flaky red crust around your nostrils and a subtle limp when you walk and a cloth gag in your mouth. She scowls and has to stop herself from throwing Rudy into the ground as retaliation for your poor treatment.

Alejandro steps forward. Shoulders squared and back straight. Looking just like the proud, revered colonel he is. Her nose involuntary wrinkles at the sight of him. Forever with the gel backed hair and stubble. No one knows how ridiculous he looks without it.

"You don't know when to give up, do you?" He snaps. "Your warehouses have been condemned, your workers jailed or killed, your identity revealed to the public, your trade routes severed. There's nothing for you here anymore."

Her eyes drift towards you again. And she only finds herself becoming angrier.

"I don't have to explain myself to you." She retorts. "You won't live long enough for it to matter anyway. Now hand them over."

Alejandro's brows lower.

"Let them both walk at the same time. Slowly." He says. Valeria doesn't let up on her grip on Rudy.

Giving him is giving up her leverage. Once he's away from her, she loses her invulnerability. she knows he has something planned. But she wants you away from him.

"Fine." She agrees. She lets go of Rodolfo. Both you and him start walking. You get right up to her, trembling and wide eyed. You press right against her. She wants to reassure you, but she can't take her rifle off of Alejandro.

"Get in the truck." She mutters to you. You stare at her intently. Pleading with her. "Now." She snaps, getting impatient.

"Hmph hmph hmf!"

Whatever you're trying to tell her is caught by the gag and turned illegible. Alejandro starts cutting away the zip ties on Rudy's wrist.

"buria!" You say urgently. She scowls at you and snatches the gag out of your mouth, risking taking her eyes off of Alejandro.

"What?" She snaps.

"He brought back up!"

Right as you say that the air cracks and something punches into her shoulder, sending her to the ground.

"Valeria!" You cry.

Despite the pain she pulls herself to her feet and sprints back to the car. Bullets rain down on her. Pelting the ground in little clouds of dust. She's dimly aware of you running beside her. Panting loudly.

Her shoulder prickles. Radiating with pain and soaking her shirt and vest with blood. She throws herself inside and ducks low. Bullets smack against the glass. Just barely stopping them. You're scrambling into the backseat.

"I got shot!" You yell. your voice is high and strained.

"Where?" She asks sharply, turning around to look at you.

"My leg." You rasp. Clutching your upper thigh.

"Okay." She replies. She has to force her own panic away. "Keep pressure on it."

While still laying low she puts the truck into reverse and slams her foot on the gas. She speeds away from the onslaught of bullets. When she's sure she's far enough away she sits up and puts it in drive. Heading back to the base, hoping she makes it there before Alejandro.

She glances at you in the rear view mirror. Alarmed by how pale and out of it you look.

"Stay awake." She tells you.

"I've never been shot before. It doesn't even hurt as much as I thought." You say shakily.

"That's the adrenaline." She informs you. "It'll hurt like a bitch later."

"I can smell it."

"Smell what?"

She glances over again when you don't reply. Your eyes are closing and your leaning forward.

"Smell what?" She repeats loudly, snapping you back into reality.

"The blood." You say.

She can smell it too. The coppery, foul metal tang in the air. She looks at you again, heart racing. You're nodding off again. She doesn't think the bullet hit anything important but you need to keep pressure on it anyway. And if blood loss doesn't kill you, the shock just might. She needs to keep you awake and talking until she can get you back to the base.

"I remember the first time I got shot." She tells you, recalling the memory with an almost fond reverence. "I was fourteen. My friend was a drug mule for this gang, and I went with her to deal. The guy didn't want to pay up and pulled a gun on us. I got shot instead of her and she just ran."

It was the first time Valeria thought she was going to die. But she dragged herself out of that back alley and got herself help. That's the day she realized just how capable she really is. Either lay down and bleed to death or push on.

"That's awful." You mutter. "I wouldn't have left you."

Valeria scoffs. "I don't think you would've been in that situation in the first place." She says dryly. "Have you ever shot a gun?"

They're almost there.

"No."

"You ever do drugs?"

"...No."

"Keep talking." She demands. Her grip on the wheel is so tight it's starting to hurt.

She's almost about to snap at you when you speak up faintly.

"About what?" You ask.

"... I don't know. Anything. Just keep talking. You'll be fine. It's just a bullet wound. People have survived worse."

"I don't regret it." You say after a few seconds. "Meeting you. Even if it led to... this."

She can see the base up ahead. It's bright floodlights like a beacon. She sees Diego and a few men standing on the outside.

"Good." She mutters.

"Do you remember what you said in your second letter?" You ask. In the rear view mirror she can see your head nodding as you fight to stay awake.

"I said a lot of things." She replies.

"You called me a hybristophile." You remind her. She parks the truck right beside the fence.

"Is this where you admit to it?" She scoffs.

"No." You chuckle. "I wasn't trying to romance you. I was just bored and lonely."

"Wow. Thanks." She says flatly. Valeria hops out and opens your door, carefully helping you out. Immediately your leg gives out as soon as you try to put pressure on it and Valeria struggles to catch you.

"That's not what I meant." You say breathlessly. "I wanted to tell you this sooner... but.. I'm kind of cowardly."

Valeria frowns and loops your arm over her shoulders, half dragging half carrying you towards the others.

"You harbored a dangerous criminal in your home. I wouldn't call that cowardly."

"But I'm scared." You admit. "Of being shot and of telling you."

Tell her what? There's no time to ask you. When she reaches her men she pawns you off to one of them with a firm 'help them.'

Diego eyes her bleeding shoulder.

"Didn't go so well?" He asks.

"No shit. He brought back up. I don't know how many. They'll be here soon. Did you plant the C4?"

"We did." He nods. For the first time tonight, she feels relieved. Finally, something is going right.

"Detonate it." She says.

It has to be done quick. No doubt Alejandro let his soldiers know it's kill on sight again. The small group of five, including you and her, move back to a safe distance. Rebuilding her cartel is going to be hard and tiring. She gives Diego the nod and he presses the button. At once light and fire explode from the concrete box. Shaking the ground and setting fire to the dry ground around it.

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nightlyrequiem · 6 days ago

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Pen Pal VI

Bored and lonely you discover the world of prison pen pals and take on a recently convicted drug lord as yours.

AO3 Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 w.c- 4,739

A/N- I’m so depressed 😂😂😂 I can’t eat because of it 😂😂😂

Tags/Warnings- Inmate!Valeria, Friendship, Implied Developing Feelings, Open Ending, Prison, Post-Modern Warfare II, Fluff, Murder, Prison Escape, Open-Ended Happy Ending, Character Death, Slice of Life

The moon hangs high in the sky. Pale and bloated like a corpse. The night is cloudless; its light shines over the rusty desert like a dim spotlight. A sandy coloured coyote noses through the sparse shrubs. Moist nose twitching as it searches for grubs. It finds a fat worm and swiftly licks it up with a pink tongue, barely chewing on the fatty body before swallowing and continuing its search.

The coyote stares, transfixed. Even as the growling grows closer and its fear mounts into something uncontrollable, the coyote finds itself unable to move. A foul metal smell wreathes around it before the big metal beast is slamming right into it.

Valeria raises her head at the sound of something thumping against the front of the truck loudly. After a second of nothing being wrong she goes back to looking over her gun. An M16 assault rifle. A heavy steal monster. She tugs the release and pops off the magazine to check her rounds again. She's already done so four times but she's feeling antsy and it's soothing to have something to do with her hands.

When she's satisfied she pops the magazine back onto the gun and sets it in her lap. Her men have identical weapons. Identical gear. Bullet proof vests, tactical knives, flash bombs, C4. Not only will they slaughter everyone at the base, but by the time they're done, there won't even be a base left.

They're almost there. Valeria's heart beats fast. A painful thump thump thump. No one talks. Normally there's banter, jokes, general chatter when on missions. But the odds are so against them that tonight, no one is having fun.

Valeria wonders what you're doing right now. It's probably around midnight. Are you asleep yet? Or waiting up for her? She reaches into her vest pocket and pulls out a crumpled photo. She unfolds it and tries to smooth out the creases. It's you. The photo you first sent to her when she was in prison. She stares down at your awkward, uncertain face. The sight fills her with an unbridled fondness. When she gets back, she'll ask you for a new one.

The truck crawls to a stop by a cliff overlooking the vast desert. In the distance is Alejandro's base. A barely visible box of concrete disturbing the natural browns and reds of the environment. She stands and they file out of the truck. Hopping down onto the dirt.

"Sneak in, kill as many as you can without letting the others know." She reminds them sternly. "And under no circumstances take any unnecessary risks. This is no time to try and be 'impressive.'" The last thing this mission needs is a prideful moron biting off more then he can chew and screwing over everyone else.

"Yes ma'am." They reply, parroting each other. She signals for her group to follow her, and they begin their trek down the cliff.

Valeria brings them to one of the few blind spots. A section of chain-link fence not visible from the cameras or lookouts. She snatches the pliers from her belt and cuts an entrance for them. She climbs in and hurries behind a shed, ducking low. She jabs a finger across the clearing towards a stack of storage boxes. They bring back unpleasant memories. Of being trapped inside one, surrounded by a bunch of angry men and then left alone in the scorching summer heat. Just for the base to be taken over by a different group of angry men.

She shakes those memories away and waits for her men to be secured before moving. she risks being spotted so she can run towards the main building. It's less hidden but she knows a spot that has a clear view of the west and south towers playing house to a guard each.

She slips behind the wall and waits. Feeling awfully visible. Anyone could spot her if they looked close enough. She has to make this quick. She hears two short, quiet shots from the other side of the base and knows that Diego's team has taken care of the North and East guards. She raises the m16, crouching down and using her knee to steady it while she looks at the West guard through the scope. It's no sniper rifle, but as long as her aim remains true it doesn't matter.

She lines them up in her sight and squeezes the trigger. The air breaks with a pop and she watches their silhouette crumple. She clenches her teeth. Even with the silencers the shots are still too loud for her liking. She needs to kill the other one quickly before they can get on comms. She repeats the process with them. Aim, shoot, kill.

She fumbles for her walkie and turns it on.

"South-West covered, status on North-East? Over." She asks. It crackles to life and spits Diego's voice back out at her.

"Copy. North-East covered. Position clear. Over." He replies. She breathes out a heavy breath. This is more stressful then getting arrested.

"Copy. Proceed with outside elimination. Entering building now. Over." She tells him. She switches frequencies to contact her own team. Relaying the information and giving them the go ahead to enter. Two pairs, two singles.

Valeria sneaks around the wall and tries the metal door along the side. Pulling it open and slipping inside like a rat. The bright lights seem nearly blinding to her night-adjusted eyes and she has to squint. She raises her gun and creeps along the hallway, keeping tucked close to the wall.

Voices echo inside. She can hear a few people talking up ahead. To the right, if her memory serves correctly. She rounds the corner to the stairwell and runs underneath it. Just in time as three sets of feet begin to descend. Heavy boots making the metal shiver.

"-If he's any closer to finding her. But I hope next time he does he saves us all the trouble and just puts a bullet between her eyes." One of them says, his voice dripping with irritation. Valeria recognizes him. Having worked with him once upon a time.

"He wants to play it the legal route but if you ask me, she's not worth that. She acts like she's above the law and clearly imprisoning her doesn't work. It's not even about trouble anymore it's about public safety." A woman she doesn't recognize chimes in.

Her grip around the gun tightens. Their shadows cover her as they step down from the stairs, completely unaware that the woman they're talking about is right behind them. She plans to let them go since there's no way she can take on three at once without alerting more people when the third man stops.

"Oh wait, I forgot my drink! I'll catch up." He says, turning and running back up the stairs. The other two continue their discussion and disappear around the corner she just came from.

Some higher power must be smiling down on her. She stands and follows them. Their backs are to her when she turns the corner.

"That's weird, he's not answering." The woman says, holding her radio.

"Lazy bastard's probably on a smoke break." The man replies. "He-"

Whatever he was going to say next is cut off by a bullet. One sharp shot right through his head. The woman stares at him stunned.

She turns to Valeria but before she can do anything Valeria's firing at her too. Getting her in the chest and shoulder. She falls and gasps painfully. Fumbling for her radio. Valeria walks right up to her and crouches down, unsheathing her knife. She stares up at Valeria with wide eyes. The eyes of an animal that knows it's going to die and it can do nothing to stop it. They've never met but the woman's eyes light with recognition. At least she's infamous.

Quickly and smoothly, Valeria grabs her by the ponytail, yanks her head back, and slits her throat. Blood gushes from the gash, darkening her shirt and the ground while she lays there convulsing and gurgling, hands uselessly grabbing at her torn throat.

What would you think if you saw this? The thought pops up in her mind. You already know why kind of person she is, but hearing about it and witnessing it are two very different things. Would you still like her if you watched her slit a woman's throat with the same precision and reaction as slicing a tomato?

What does it even matter.

You'll never know anyway.

* * *

They could only go unnoticed for so long. With no ways of hiding the bodies, it was bound to happen. Valeria just hoped they picked enough of them off to even their chances.

"The charges are planted."

Soon most of the base would be little more than rubble. She was going to try and sneak out like the others until she spotted a familiar face.

Rodolfo, running down the hall. Towards the comms room. Like a dog giving into its instincts, Valeria gives chase. Her objective changing. By the time she reaches the half-closed door Rodolfo is frantically speaking into a radio.

"I don't know how many are dead. Where. Are. You?" He says. It awakens and replies to him with static before twisting into a distorted version of Alejandro's voice.

"We're here, Rudy. I had to do something."

Rudy says something back, clearly agitated. But the ringing in Valeria's ears drowns it out. She slowly presses the muzzle of her gun to the back of his head. She watches his wide back stiffen.

"Rudy?" Alejandro speaks. "Rudy, are you there?"

"How many people is he bringing?" She asks quietly. Warningly tapping him on the shoulder with the gun.

"I'm not telling you." He replies. Quietly, but firmly. She glares at the back of his head. She's never hated Rodolfo as much as Alejandro, but she still has a certain distaste for him. For his proximity to Alejandro. He's just that unlikable.

"He will." She replies, reaching past him and snatching the radio.

"Alejandro." She growls. His name is sour on her tongue and makes her insides curl up.

"Valeria?" He says back. She doesn't miss the note of surprise in his voice.

"How many people are you bringing?" She asks. "Tell me. Or I'll kill Rodolfo." Her demand is short and blunt. The cat and mouse game between them has long since stopped being fun.

He remains silent. For a long enough time that her impatience rises. She's about to ask again when he speaks.

"You won't kill Rudy." He says plainly.

She laughs dryly. Does he think Rodolfo holds any sentimental value to her? "No?" She mocks.

"No." He parrots. "Because if you do, I'll kill your friend here. The one who's been hiding you." Something in her stomach drops as fabric rustles and a faint, familiar voice jumps out towards her.

"Valeria? Please-" Whatever you were going to say is lost to all but you as Alejandro, Valeria assumes, re-gags you.

Two words. Just a little snippet of your voice. But the fear in it is loud. It's enough to make her afraid, too. She wasn't expecting him to take you.

"... You won't harm a civilian." She scoffs, trying to hide her growing unease.

"I will. I don't know how capable you are of feeling. Of caring about another person. I know people are nothing but steppingstones to you. But I think you care a little more about this one. And if you don't want them dead, you'll come out and talk to me."

Valeria's heart is pounding so hard that she feels like throwing it up. Maybe it would be better if she did throw it up. If she did, then maybe she wouldn't care. But she does. Proving to her once again that bonds and connections are nothing but liabilities.

"Are you here?" She asks.

"Yes. By the gate. Don't bother contacting your men. They've already been dealt with."

She doesn't want to believe that. But she can hear the truth in his voice. She's completely alone now. Hopelessness threatens to drag her down.

"... Fine. We're coming out." She says through gritted teeth. "Get moving." She shoves Rodolfo ahead of her.

She's walking out to her death. Maybe even yours too. Her ambition was always going to catch up to her. She stops before the front doors. Grappling with herself. With the temptation to shoot Rodolfo and make a run for it.

Maybe Alejandro will kill you, maybe he won't. But he'll kill her for certain. She's never been a coward, but she could run. She imagines what you'd look like if she did. If she traded your life for hers. Your betrayed expression is vivid in her mind. The sharp hurt creasing your features. Valeria... can't bring herself to do it. To abandon you or her mission. She either wins or dies.

With her mind made up, she sets her shoulders and pushes Rodolfo through the doors. She's met with ten people. Guns all trained on her. Alejandro at their head like he's some hero. His stubbly chin raised. You're there at his feet. The sight makes her blood boil. Like you're his dog or something.

Disgust at his hand planted firmly on your shoulder rises in her gut. Hardening into revulsion. You lock eyes with her. All kinds of feelings swimming in them. An emotion cocktail. There's relief, fear, anger. A reflection of her.

"Put the gun down and raise your hands, Valeria. It's over." Alejandro says. He acts like he's going to arrest her. But she knows better.

She looks back to you again. Greedily trying to drink in as much of your face as she can.

"It's not over until I stop breathing and even then-" Valeria gasps as she's flung forward. The ground shakes beneath her.

The world explodes behind her. she's struck by a flash of heat before her hearing gives out and she's left with nothing but ringing. She struggles to lift her head, feeling like she was just crushed under boulders. She looks behind her. What was once gray and brown is now a vibrant array of oranges and yellows. She has to squint against the smoke burning her eyes. Wafting off the greedy flames devouring the remnants of the base.

Her mind sharpens. Taking advantage of the disorientation, she turns and lunges forward, grabbing a dropped rifle. She aims it and shoots the nearest soldier in the head. A man to her right swivels and fires, but he staggers, still off balance from the explosion and the bullet buries itself deeply into the ground near her feet.

She smashes the butt of the gun into his face, breaking his nose. She follows him to the ground and hits him repeatedly. Bashing at him until he's no longer squirming. Legs appear in her vision and she looks up, heart stopping. It's another soldier, one she knows. Jesse. A headstrong woman.

Hatred burns in her eyes almost as hotly as the fire eating the base. Her finger tightens on the trigger. Valeria only just manages to roll out of the way. Her shoulder aches sharply at being pressed against the hard ground. Jesse raises to shoot again and Valeria staggers to her feet. She tackles her, running head on into her firm stomach and bowling her over.

Bullets crack the ground nearby. Jesse wriggles and bucks like a wild boar. Grunting and growling. Valeria screams at the sudden feeling of skin tearing. She looks down, seeing Jesse rapidly tearing at her leg with her own knife.

She becomes oblivious to the firing around her. Completely focused on the fire in her body. Pulsing from her leg. She tries to pull away but Jesse locks her limbs around her. She doesn't even think about it. She just wants to get away. Valeria turns her head, nose pressed against Jesse's throat. She opens her mouth and snaps at her jugular.

Flesh rips and pops under her teeth and Jesse's startled gasp turns into a gurgle as hot blood floods Valeria's mouth. The coppery flavour makes her gag but she doesn't stop. She sinks her teeth in and tugs back, ripping a chunk from her neck.

Jesse's grip slackens and the woman starts clawing at her open neck, trying to keep the blood in. Valeria scrambles away and gags. Blood and saliva drip down her chin. She flinches away at another body falling beside her, dead eyes with burst blood vessels staring through her.

A sharp hole in his forehead right above his left eye leaks. She jerks away and sees her surroundings. Dizzy from pain and blood loss but still awake. The clearing is littered with fresh corpses. Some killed by shrapnel flung from the explosions, some from bullets.

It's not the bodies that shocks her though. She's seen enough death to rival Santa Muerte for her job. No, it's not the bodies. It's you. Freed from the restraints that still dangle from one wrist, hunched and pointing a rifle at Alejandro. Her alarm grows at the shiny piece of metal lodged below the knee in your left leg.

Alejandro is crouched over a lump. One hand resting over it's chest. He's wearing the most raw, human look she's ever seen on him. His strong, composed mask shattered completely. She's never seen him look so panic stricken.

"Rudy!" He yells, shaking the lump. Understanding blooms in her mind. Despite the aim you have on Alejandro, you're shaking.

"I didn't.... I didn't mean to!" You gasp, breathing heavily. Her brows shoot up. And so does Alejandro's head. Grief and anger so strong Valeria can almost feel herself.

But she doesn't. And that too, she takes advantage of. Alejandro is too busy focusing on the person with the gun to notice the real threat charging at him. Only at the last second does he notice. His hand flashes up and strikes her across the face before she can reach him, sending her flying onto her side.

"Valeria! Stop!" You cry. "Get out of the way!" You want to take the shot. She almost admires your desire to help. But she wants to be the one to end this. Satisfy that itch to end this horrid cycle and prove to Alejandro once and for all that she's better than him.

He climbs on top of her grabs her neck, wrapping heavy hands around her throat and squeezing. She claws at him, feeling her face get tight. He leans down, getting spittle in her face.

"I'm going to kill you. And then I'm burning your body. You never deserved to hold rank. Never deserved the honor of serving Mexico." He growls, shaking her for emphasis. Her fury brings her new strength, and she slams her fist into his jaw, jerking his head away.

She rears up and cracks her face into his. Pain radiates through her skull, blurring her vision. But she can't stop. Like a shark she needs to keep moving or she'll die. She wildly throws punches at him. Some landing, some not.

"Move out of the way! Please, Valeria!" You plead distantly. But she can barely hear you over the blood rushing in her ears.

Alejandro scrambles away and trips to his feet. Blood running from his damaged nose. He stumbles and faces her.

"You always thought you were better than me!" She snarls, allowing her fury to flourish and grow. "I was always as good as you - better than you! But everyone gave you credit for my success, and you let them!" Memories of her achievements being watered down to Alejandro's training and teamwork boils inside of her.

She lunges and knocks his balled-up fist away with one hand, punching him in the cheek with the other. The knock heads like bulls. Huffing and stomping sharp hooves. Competing for dominance.

Her leg wobbles, going prickly from the lack of blood. She fights with her own body as much as she fights with him. It's betraying her. Weak and wanting to give up. It wins. Her leg gives way beneath her and sends her to the ground. All her energy leaking from her like blood. Alejandro, barely able to see from the blood and dirt in his eyes, fumbles for her, trying to choke her again. Both are weak and seconds away from collapse.

She gets weaker and weaker. She's so sore and tired. Darkness creeps around the edges of her vision. Whispering soothingly to just close her eyes.

Crack.

The weight around Valeria's throat vanishes at once. Alejandro falls back, clutching the side of his neck that's currently squirting a berry red substance.

She drags herself back, letting him drop onto all fours.

"I'm so sorry." You weep. Squeezing the trigger again and shooting him right through the eye. His gasping and squirming stills immediately and his body relaxes into the dirt.

Valeria's head lulls.

"You're going to be okay." You whisper to her, kneeling down and grabbing her face to look at you. "It's over now. You won."

"... There's no one left." She grunts. "They're dead." There were no winners. She didn't even get to kill Alejandro. And now she's going to bleed out in the desert, alone.

She fades out for a second before being brought back by your frantic ramblings and the refreshed pain in her leg. She hisses and looks down. You've got your hands pressed down on the wound firmly, some scrap of cloth - from someone's pants maybe - laid down on top. Blood has already soaked through it.

No. She's not alone.

"You're... Valeria what do I do?" You ask her. She can feel your hands shaking as you hold onto her. "Please. What do I do?"

Her body is fighting her hard. Wanting to do nothing more than to shut down and sleep forever. But you sound so distressed. It spurs her on.

"... Tie... it around my upper thigh tightly." She tells you. The words have to fight their way out. Her tongue feels heavy and useless.

She winces when you remove the pressure. She doesn't even know if it will work. She might've lost too much blood already. As soon as you lift her leg pain shoots up through it. She grits her teeth and bites her tongue, tasting blood.

You wrap the cloth around her upper thigh and fumble with it, struggling a few times before finally getting it into a tight knot. It's uncomfortable, painful even.

"Get up. We need to leave." You demand.

"I'm tired." She mumbles, eyes fluttering. The aching pulse in her leg is almost more soothing then painful. Like being rocked to sleep.

Her head suddenly whips to the side, followed by a sharp sting. She opens her eyes and looks at you, unbridled shock on her face.

"Did you just slap me?" She asks, appalled.

"Stay awake!" You snap. Almost choking on your words. Your firm, despite the tears in your eyes. "You promised everything would be fine."

"... I'm not good at keeping those, I'm s..." She averts her gaze. Because she's weak and tired. Not because she's feeling remorseful.

"Too bad. You're keeping this one." You growl, pushing your arm under her to force her up.

You pull her to her feet. An incredible feat because she feels a lot more like dead weight than a person, and your own leg is injured. The limp to one of the trucks is long and tiring. The truck is damaged. Dents in the side from bullets and one blown out tire. It could be worse, she thinks. If it weren't military grade, it wouldn't be useable at all.

You pull open the doors to the back and careful help her in, laying her down on the backseat. You linger, hovering over her. Your eyebrows are so comically twisted that she laughs a little. Though that only seems to worry you more.

"I like you, Valeria." You tell her. "More than a friend."

Her laughter dies and she's just left staring at you. Under normal circumstances she'd have a response for you. Maybe a charming one. But she can't think right now. Her silence seems to dishearten you.

"... I wanted you to know." You say.

She sighs.

"So you're a coward then?"

You rear back, hurt flashing across your face. "What?"

"You're only telling me because there's a chance I might die."

You open your mouth to rebuke that, but you can't. "Just sit tight." You pat her leg then back out and shut the door. Valeria watches you through the tinted glass. Overcome by such a sharp pang of longing in her gut.

"I like you too." She mutters. But you open the driver's side door too late to hear it. She doesn't repeat herself. Because for all her bravado, deep down, she's also nothing but a coward.

* * *

Four months later.

Sometimes in the middle of the night you jerk awake. Sweating and heart pounding. The deafening sounds of shots still echoing in your ears. Whenever that happens you have to race your stomach to the bathroom before puking.

You still see that man's face - Rodolfo Parra you later learned - his eyes widening as he registers the bullet in his chest. The way his body crumpled in on himself, bringing down his friend with him. It was an accident. You didn't mean to shoot him. Prior to that night you've never even held a gun before.

And then there was Valeria. Fighting tooth and nail. The concentrated hatred on her face scared you, but what scared you even more was watching her get choked out. Watching the fight drain from her in real time. You had a decision to make. In the span of one night, you killed two people, and saved one.

On the way back to the town you were sure she'd bleed to death in the backseat. And by the time you made it to the hospital it would've been too late. You were so terrified, that you told her how you felt. And you hated yourself all the more for it. You wanted to tell her sooner. Should've told her sooner. But she lived. You told her, and she lived.

And just like that, you went your separate ways. Valeria became important to you. Embedded herself into your life, and when she left, she tore a hole in it. Leaving you even lonelier than you were before you sent her that first letter. Guess you served your purpose.

Your back to doing what you always do. Doomscrolling through social media. But it's even less fulfilling then before because you got a taste of the other side and now that's all you want. A knock on the door swipes your attention and you sigh. Getting up to answer it. You hope it's not another reporter hoping to get an inside scoop. You unlatch the chain and unbolt the lock, pulling open the door.

Under the dusk lighted street, a few people stroll by. Paying no mind to you. You look around with a frown. Seeing no one. When you glance down you see a little white envelope and pick it up.

It's not a bill. there's no official government stamping. Just one blank envelope. The mystery of it along with the knocker delivering it brings you unease, but you tear it open anyway. You slide out a letter. Written on lined paper and your heart skips a beat.

'To my dear friend and more.

I don't always keep my promises, but I can for you. That's what you do for the people you love. I haven't forgotten you or what you did for me. You'll be seeing me very soon. And when you do, it will be in a nice restaurant. I expect you to wear something nice. In the meantime, here's what I've been doing...'

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