#they’re called incorrect quotes for a reason

[thechristianharper]

There’s a reason as to why they’re called incorrect quotes, Larsen.

Christian : I never understood why people cared so much about their dumb friends until I got a dumb friend myself.

Christian : *Points to Rhys*

Christian : I’ve only befriended Rhys for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then my self.

[draco-glacialis]

Billy: I reserve the right to judge a movie based on when it was made, thank you very much.

Rio: You consider anything made before 2000 old and bad.

Billy: And I reserve that right! After all....

Billy: I bet you wouldn’t like the average movie made in 1879!

Rio: There were no movies made in 1879.

Billy: *slams table* WRONG! There was ONE movie made in 1879! The first movie! A zoopraxioscope of a horse galloping!

Jen: Oooh! Let’s go ask Agatha if they saw it in theatres!

[cod-dump]

Price: *humming as he works in the garden*

Price: *turns around and yelps when he sees teen!Ghost suddenly standing there, his hair smoking with the ends burnt and with flour all over him*

Price: Simon?!

Teen!Ghost: Did you know that flour is flammable?

Price: … what did you do?

Teen!Ghost: I… learned that flour was flammable and the wrong thing to throw on a fire

Price: WHAT-?!

Nik, from the kitchen side door: It’s fine! I’ll have it fixed!

Price: WHAT THE FUCK?!

[tungledotedu]

prismatic bell is shamelessly doing genocide denial again (archive org version), with some points such as:

'the keffiyeh is a symbol of arab colonialism'

'Every civilian killed is a travesty to be laid on Sinwar’s bloody hands. But…it’s actually also REALLY GOOD for urban warfare'.

no amount of 'it's tragic, i know it sucks, it's heatbreaking' will make up for the fact that xe LITERALLY SAID THERE IS A 'GOOD' AND 'PROPORTIONATE' NUMBER OF DEAD CIVILIANS. including children and babies. and this is right after xe called them colonisers.

xe's still desperately trying to deny the death toll. 'the numbers as given have been proven false. Someone was literally able to show they’re generated with a math formula. (I have articles backing this up, but again, will have to add when I’m off mobile, sorry.)'

also known as 'i can't add more sources right now, but i DEFINITELY have them!' (uses memri tv as a source)

'actually it's completely legal for israel to target hospitals because they fabricate evidence of weapons in those hospitals.' who's going to tell xir about how the iof mistook an arabic calendar for a list of names. also, legality=/=morality.

'DELIBERATE TARGETING OF HOSPITALS: yes, Israel has bombed or raided several hospitals because they were being used as weapons depots or missile launch sites. This is completely legal—what would be illegal would be raids on hospitals not being used as military sites.'

'hamas is the one that's committing genocide! if israel was really trying to eradicate all of gaza it would be done already!'

62% of homes and 84% of healthcare facilities have been damaged or destroyed. as well as more than 80% of schools.

'what is happening in ukraine IS genocide! but not palestine!'

since this person seems so fixated on 'proportionate' death tolls...

ukraine has a population of 34 million, and the 2022 russian invasion has resulted in around 34,000 civilian casuallties as of june 2024. that's a lower ratio of civilian casualties to total population (1:1000). mariupol and the rest of donetsk oblast (population: 4 million) have sustained the highest number of casualties, with over 25,000 dead. this means the ratio is 1:160. according to this user, this is enough to warrant the label of genocide.

(edit: the number of dead ukrainian civilians may be higher at 100,000, making it 1:340).

but the gaza strip had a population of 2.4 million in 2022 (see the quote below), and the estimate of around 40,000 deaths has been outdated for some time now due to israel's destruction of gazan healthcare infrastructure and staff. even without a more accurate death toll, the ratio is higher (1:60). but for some reason (racism), it's not enough to be called a genocide.

the death toll in gaza is estimated to be much higher. according to the lancet,

Applying a conservative estimate of four indirect deaths per one direct death to the 37 396 deaths reported, it is not implausible to estimate that up to 186 000 or even more deaths could be attributable to the current conflict in Gaza. Using the 2022 Gaza Strip population estimate of 2 375 259, this would translate to 7·9% of the total population in the Gaza Strip.

and this is a conservative estimate.

also, according to this user's 'logic', with a lower ratio of casualties, russia is actually 'doing urban warfare' better than israel. so much for being pro-ukraine.

all of this disgusting vitriol is tacked on a post with artwork of jesus christ, because one of the sketches depicted him with a keffiyeh. i don't think prismatic bell has anything of worth to say about christianity.

(edIted on 20 july)

changed pronoun to xir. explanation here.

i've added a link to a source for 100,000 killed civilians in ukraine.

but still, given the choice between an academic article and an internet user, i'm going to trust the academic article to have actual research with sources and not 'fake numbers' for gaza.

i wrote a bit about how the alleged 1:1.5 civilian death ratio is incorrect under the read more, but then i realised, does it actually matter? should this be the metric by which we measure proportionality in the first place? should we forget how more palestinians have been killed by israel since its founding than the other way around?

if we only focus on this, we overlook the bigger picture, the alarming number of people who have been killed or left sickened and disabled. we have to keep the total population in mind, and the fact that israel also mass murders palestinians 'indirectly'. through starvation, cutting off electricity and water, blockading medical supplies as well as other resources, denying life-saving healthcare, and other means. what prismatic-bell said about russia targeting aid workers applies to israel too.

what about how israeli militants rape and sexually torture palestinian hostages? how they don't distinguish between combatants and civilians, and their 'definition' of terrorist includes elderly men and kids they've captured and stripped to their underwear? or how they've maimed people as part of rabin's 'break the bones' policy since the first intifada? or when the iof lied about letting an ambulance rescue hind rajab, only to kill the paramedics and shoot 335 bullets at the car where she was hiding? or how they haven't stopped bombing and sniping people despite orders from the icj and credible evidence of them committing genocide?

and 'fake numbers'? sounds like projection to me. here's what prismatic-bell said:

'And finally, let’s look at the civilian-to-combatant death toll. [...] With that said, the best data we have at this moment suggests one civilian killed for every 1.5 Hamas militants.'

no source given, but i'm guessing it came from wikipedia (where the sentence is unsourced as well).

here's an actual analysis by yagil levy on ha'aretz. it's outdated, but it argues that even early on in the genocide, the israeli army failed to show restraint in targeting civilians. none of that 'it's actually also REALLY GOOD for urban warfare' or 'entirely proportionate', or however you want to cruelly dismiss human life.

It follows that with a high proportion of noncombatants among the total number of those killed, we can conclude that the principle of discrimination was not adhered to, and an unusually high rate will reflect either a departure from the principle of proportionality or a highly flexible interpretation of it. [...] Thus, rather than this being a case of "collateral damage," it was the reverse: Because most of those harmed are civilians, what was produced is "collateral benefit," in the form of a low number of Gazan combatants killed.

This calculation shows that out of the total of 6,747, at least 4,594 individuals of both sexes who can be categorized as noncombatants were killed – 68 percent of the total. 

this is a different way of calculating the ratio. it takes civilian deaths and divides it by the total number of people killed, not by combatant deaths (as the 1:1.5 ratio does). with 2,153 combatants killed, the ratio is actually around 2:1, meaning it is biased towards civilians killed. this is an outdated estimate and is probably higher in reality.

or take the iof's more recent but probably inflated estimate of 16,000 dead hamas fighters, meaning 24,000 civilians out of the 40,000 killed. the ratio would be 1.5:1. or 170,000 civilians if we go by the lancet.. that's 10.5 civilians dead for 1 militant. (if anyone has better sources let me know.)

[ev-arrested]

Y’know how there’s a version of Batman that tried to make Jason look as much like Dick as possible to the point where he made Jason dye his hair black?

This, but Dick realizes it and is like “hm. bet.”

Cue the most Weasley twins-esque shenanigans where Dick and Jason try their absolute damndest to emulate each other and throw Bruce off. Dick adopts Jason’s accent, Jason emulates Dick’s mannerisms, Dick tries to quote Shakespeare, Jason tries to constantly make puns.

Some days, they fully swap roles. Some days, they pick one role to play and try to act the Exact Same, even down to speaking the same words at the same time, finishing each other’s sentences. Sometimes, they’re their complete, separate selves.

They don’t fool Bruce most of the time. Sometimes, they get him real good, but the point of all this isn’t to fool the world’s greatest detective—it’s to call him out on the fact that’s it’s really fucked up to force your second son to act like your first.

And it works. Bruce lets Jason come into his own.

And then, of course, the Lazarus Pits happens. Let’s skip over all the mourning and Red Hood drama and get to the part where more shenanigans ensure.

I think it’s very widely accepted that Jason grows up to be a fucking tank, and I think Dick and Jason wouldn’t see that as any reason to give up—they’d see it as a challenge.

Imagine Dick adding padding to his outfits, adding a bit of a heel to his shoes to make himself taller, carrying himself a lot more gruffly. Imagine Jason wearing a waist trainer and wrapping his arms/legs in something to make himself look more lean (and imagine him cutting off circulation like a moron).

They’re still swapping accents and eye colors and talking at the same time—it’s starting to become scary for the rest of the Batfam who do Not know the context as to how this game started.

Anyway, add y’all’s incorrect quotes in the reblogs. I wanna see ‘em.

[brie-is-cheesy]

Obey me incorrect quotes #3

part 1 | previous | next |

Lucifer: You need to stop this reckless behavior.

MC: smirking Or what?

Lucifer: Or I’ll make you do paperwork with me.

MC: …You’re evil.

Mammon: Why do you always call me out, huh?

MC: Because I’m contractually obligated to bully you.

Mammon: pouting That’s not true.

MC: pulls out document It’s in the fine print.

Leviathan: Why are you in my room?

MC: You left your door open.

Leviathan: That doesn’t mean you can just walk in!

MC: That’s exactly what it means.

Asmo: How do I look?

MC: Stunning as always.

Asmo: Ugh, you’re too kind. Now tell me again, but slower.

Beelzebub: MC, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your food.

MC: I’ve eaten plenty, Beel.

Beelzebub: I don’t understand those words in that order.

Belphie: Wake me up at 6.

MC: wakes him at 6

Belphie: groggily Why are you like this?

Diavolo: Let’s try something new you humans do today, MC!

MC: Like what?

Diavolo: Cliff diving!

MC: …Are you getting these from the internet?

Diavolo: closes his D.D.D. slowly

Barbatos: I’ve already prepared the tea, MC.

MC: I didn’t even ask for tea.

Barbatos: I anticipated your needs.

Simeon: reading peacefully

MC: staring

Simeon: Is something wrong?

MC: No, I just like watching you be perfect.

Solomon: Don’t touch that. It’s extremely volatile.

MC: immediately touches it

Solomon: Why are you like this?

Lucifer: The house needs to be quiet after 10 PM.

MC: Define “quiet.”

Lucifer: …

Mammon: They’re gonna scream at Mario Kart with Levi again, aren’t they?

Mammon: You humans have weird sayings.

MC: Like what?

Mammon: “Kill two birds with one stone.” Why not just leave the birds alone?!

Leviathan: teaching MC a game Okay, use this move now!

MC: presses wrong button

Leviathan: yelling Nooooooo! That was the self-destruct!

MC: Oops.

Lucifer: You look like you’ve been up to no good.

MC: I look like this all the time.

Lucifer: suspicious squint Exactly.

Asmo: I just posted our selfie!

MC: Did you use a filter?

Asmo: Of course! I have an image to maintain.

MC: …I look like a hologram.

Beelzebub: Do you want my fries?

MC: No, it’s okay—

Beelzebub: already eating them Too late.

Belphie: laying his head on MC’s lap Wake me up if Lucifer comes.

MC: Why?

Belphie: So I can pretend I’m studying.

Diavolo: MC, do you trust me?

MC: hesitant Why do you ask like that?

Diavolo: No reason. Just hold this enchanted rope.

Barbatos: The future is always in motion, MC.

MC: Can you see my future?

Barbatos: sips tea Yes.

MC: …Do I live long?

Barbatos: That depends on whether or not you keep annoying Lucifer.

Simeon: Would you like to join me for a walk?

MC: Sure! Where are we going?

Simeon: Anywhere the light guides us.

Beel: …Does the light guide us to food?

Solomon: offering MC a potion This one’s totally safe.

MC: You said that last time, and I couldn’t stop hiccuping rainbows for a week.

Solomon: But wasn’t it fun?

[mynicknameisgasoline]

Cobra Kai incorrect quotes pt. 1/2

1.

y/n: Bro- Miguel: No, no, hold up, rewind. Miguel: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

2.

S2! Miguel: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. y/n: I would be happy if you stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. S2! Miguel: I said within reason, y/n. How about I murder that guy? points to robby y/n: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? S2! Miguel: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

3.

y/n: I fell— Miguel: From heaven? y/n: No, I literally fell— Miguel: In love with me the moment you saw me? y/n: MY ARM IS BROKEN! Miguel: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

4.

Hawk: I’m in love with you. y/n: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork. Hawk: I know. y/n: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

5.

y/n: Remember, Hawk, don't do anything I wouldn't do. Hawk: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

6.

y/n: Fuck you. Hawk: No u. y/n: I'm down. Hawk: You're like 2, what the fuck- y/n: I AM NOT 2!

7.

Sam: Wow, they really hate us. y/n: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic. Sam: But we’re not gay, y/n. y/n: Sam: y/n: We’re not?

8.

y/n: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Tory: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. y/n: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Tory: Is it working?

9.

y/n, about Tory: I could fix them, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with them is way funnier. Sam: That's what any god probably thinks about me.

10.

Miguel: Unfollow me if you think the Earth is flat. Tory: seriously pretends to be a flat-earther to antagonize the anti-flat-earther. Sam: neutral but makes polls to start fights, "Is the Earth flat? Let's discuss!" y/n: not a flat-earther but makes "the Earth may be flat but this ass ain't" jokes for viral tweets. Hawk: actual flat-earther.

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Good Omens incorrect quotes:

Aziraphale: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Crowley, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

~

Aziraphale: Violence isn't the answer.

Crowley: You’re right.

Aziraphale: *sighs in relief*

Crowley: Violence is the question.

Aziraphale: What?

Crowley, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Aziraphale, running after them: NO-

~

Aziraphale: Do you take constructive criticism?

Crowley: I only take cash or credit.

~

Aziraphale: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Crowley: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

~

Aziraphale: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Crowley: What did you do?

Aziraphale: Nobody died.

Crowley: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

~

Aziraphale: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Crowley: Killed without hesitation.

Aziraphale: No.

~

*how season 3 should start*

Aziraphale: Top 30 reasons why Aziraphale is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!

Crowley: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

~

Crowley: You're right.

Aziraphale: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

~

Beelzebub: I’m going to take you out

Gabriel: great, it’s a date!

Beelzebub: I meant that as a threat.

Gabriel: See you at five!

~

Crowley: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Gabriel: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

~

Beelzebub: I made tea.

Crowley: I don’t want tea.

Beelzebub: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Crowley: Then why are you telling me?

Beelzebub: It is a conversation starter.

Crowley: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Beelzebub: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

~

Aziraphale: This is bothering me.

Crowley: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Aziraphale: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

~

Aziraphale: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Gabriel, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Aziraphale:

Aziraphale: fsh

~

Crowley: God, give me patience.

Gabriel: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Crowley: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

~

Aziraphale: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Crowley: That's why I carry two swords.

~

Gabriel: So what’s for dinner?

Beelzebub, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

~

Muriel: Why are you on the floor?

Crowley: I'm depressed.

Crowley: Also I was stabbed, can you get Aziraphale, please.

~

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Fell please come to the front desk?

Aziraphale, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Crowley and Muriel

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Crowley and Muriel, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Aziraphale: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

~

Muriel: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Crowley: The cow???

Muriel: What?

Aziraphale: Crowley, W H Y?

~

Aziraphale: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Crowley?

Crowley: … No.

Muriel: I do!

Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.

Muriel: I’m sad!

Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.

~

Muriel: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Crowley: The car takes a screenshot.

Aziraphale: For the last time, get the fuck out.

~

Crowley: Aziraphale and I don’t use pet names.

Nina: I see. Hey, what are those things with the halos called again??

Crowley: Angel?

Aziraphale: Yes, dear?

Crowley:

Nina: Don't ever lie to my face again.

~

Muriel: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Crowley: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Aziraphale isn’t

~

Aziraphale: We need a distraction.

Crowley: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Muriel, whispering: My time has come

~

Aziraphale: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Muriel: Okay, but in my defense, Mr. Crowley bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Aziraphale: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

~

Aziraphale: Crowley, keep an eye on Gabriel today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Crowley: Sure, I’d love to see Gabriel get punched.

Aziraphale: Try again.

Crowley, sighing: I will stop Gabriel from getting punched.

~

Maggie: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Crowley: I'm a knife.

Aziraphale, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

~

Aziraphale, driving Crowley and Muriel: So how was your day?

Muriel: We almost got surprise adopted!

Aziraphale: What?

Crowley: We almost got kidnapped.

Aziraphale: Oh, okay.

Aziraphale: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?

~

Aziraphale: You have to apologize to Gabriel

Crowley: Fine.

Crowley: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

~

Crowley: Hey angel,

Aziraphale: Yes?

Crowley: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Aziraphale:

Aziraphale: Where’s Gabriel?

~

Aziraphale: WHY. why did you give Muriel a KNIFE?!

Crowley: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.

Aziraphale: Now I feel unsafe!

Crowley: I’m sorry.

Crowley: ... would you like a knife?

~

Muriel: Hey, Mr. Crowley? Can I get some dating advice?

Crowley: Just because I’m with Aziraphale doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

~

Aziraphale: Crowley and I are having a baby.

Muriel: That's gre-

Aziraphale, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

~

Muriel: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Crowley: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Aziraphale: In that case, we're definitely lost

~

Muriel: What do you think Mr. Crowley will do for a distraction?

Aziraphale: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Aziraphale: ... or they could do that.

~

Aziraphale: I trust Crowley.

Muriel: You think they know what they're doing?

Aziraphale: I wouldn't go that far.

~

Aziraphale: While I’m gone, Muriel, you’re in charge.

Muriel: Yes!!!

Aziraphale, whispering: Crowley, you’re secretly in charge.

Crowley: Obviously.

~

Aziraphale: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Crowley: *turning to Gabriel* How tall are you?

[toriisasimp]

Chapter 1 of ?: Just Ask

An Egon Spengler x fem!reader Mini Series

Prompt: Yet another Ghostbusters press event is nearing, and once the secret is spilled of a certain scientist who wants to take you as a date, you decide to investigate for yourself.

Warnings: None!

A/N: First chapter of a mini series I’m working on. Not sure if it’s actually going to be a mini series or a full fic, but we’ll see! Egon and reader have already kind of been flirting with each other. You’ve also been working at the firehouse for a few months now. Enjoy! <3

-

It was nearing dinner time, and Janine had clocked out early for a date with Louis. You bid her goodnight with a warm smile and wave, and settled yourself behind the receptionist desk, propping up your feet and opening up one of the books you sneaked from Egon’s collection in the lab.

Finally, some peace and quiet..

You hear your name shouted by Peter, who comes stomping down the staircase with Ray hot on his tail.

“Go cool your boyfriend! He won’t listen to us!”

“..He’s not my boyfriend, Venkman.” You specify blankly, only briefly peeking over the top of your book to eye him coming around the corner and walking up to the desk.

“It sure seems like he thinks so.” Ray pipes up, folding his arms.

“What did you guys do to upset him now?” You flip the page, ignoring Ray’s comment.

“We didn’t do anything. He’s just throwing one of those dramatic fits of his where he shuts completely down and doesn’t speak to anyone, other than snapping at Ray for eating all the Cheez-Its.”

“Valid reason to be upset.” You shrug it off. You and Egon are both extremely territorial over your snacks. So much so that you end up labeling them with a permanent marker so the other boys know what they can and can’t touch.

“Not the point. The point is, you need to go up there and work your..” Venkman wiggles his fingers. “Womanly magic to get him to break. It’s getting annoying.”

“What? Not having him correct your incorrect scientific so-called ‘knowledge’,” you throw up some air quotes, “That you just spew out on a whim is annoying?”

“YES.” Ray and Peter both speak at the same time.

You huff and slide the bookmark back into your book before shutting it, pulling your legs off the desk and setting the book down before you rise up.

“It could be that he’s upset because of the gala.” Ray murmurs, more in Peter’s direction.

You pause halfway to the steps, turning your head back around.

“What gala?”

The two of them look at you like they’re a deer in the headlights.

“Whoops.” Ray grits his teeth.

“The gala at the Museum of Natural History? The one you guys got invited to? What about it?”

“You see, he was going to-” Peter starts talking, before Ray sends a fist to his gut from the side.

“Peter!”

“What?” He throws his hands up. “She’s gonna find out soon enough!”

Ray rolls his eyes and grumbles, looking away as Peter rubs the spot on his stomach before continuing.

“He was going to,” His voice lowered a few notches. “He was going to ask you to be his date. But I’m convinced he’s having some emotional conflict and mood swings because he doesn’t think you want to go with him.”

You stand there, in slight shock. “He told you this?” You perk a brow.

“He tells us a lot, kid.” Ray speaks up again, folding his arms once more and leaning against the desk with a slight tilt of his head.

“Of course, ‘bro-code’ or whatever. I get it. I’ll ask him about it-”

“NO!” They both stand swiftly.

“Why?” You stop again, at the bottom of the steps.

“That man will literally, and I mean literally, have our heads if he finds out we told you about that.” Peter pleads.

You go back and forth glaring at both of them, rolling your eyes before sighing.

“Fine, fine. I won’t ask about it.” You slowly start making your way up the steps to the next floor. “But please, give us some privacy. Do not eavesdrop.”

“That’s the spirit, go rub one out for your man!” Peter whoops, and you shake your head.

“You’re disgusting, Venkman.”

-

At the top of the steps, the soft music from a boombox on the kitchen table grows louder, and you spot Egon, with his back facing you. He’s at the corner workbench, hunched over a microscope.

You slowly approach, tugging your shirt sleeves over your hands and folding your arms. You admire him for a moment, how he’s so focused, his hands subtly turning the knobs of the machine to scope in on the slide he’s examining.

“Spengler,” You speak up, and Egon doesn’t even jump, he just murmurs your name in acknowledgement as he stays put in his hunched position.

“Are you doing alright?” You walk up to the bench, leaning against the corner, tilting your head slightly.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be alright?” He speaks again, finally rising up and turning to scribble down some notes in a nearby open notebook.

“Just checking in..” You murmured defensively, approaching even further to stand next to him. “What are you working on?”

“Logging ectoplasm samples,” He turns back from the notebook, catching your gaze for a short moment before hunching back down over the microscope. “Could you help me put them into the system?”

Egon knows how much you genuinely enjoy assisting him in the lab, and you’ve told him to always ask if he wants help.. Or just wants some company.

“Can I see it first?” You motion to the microscope.

“Sure.” He nods, stepping back and giving you space to see the slide for yourself.

You step up to the microscope, squinting one eye so you can see into the scope. The plasm is moving on the slide, the cells wiggling ever so slightly. You stand alone for a moment, before you feel Egon’s hand come to gently rest on your waist.

“What can you see?” He asks, a bit softer.

“Well, it looks like it’s doing a little dance!” You giggle, still intrigued by the slime.

“It’s Psychomagnotheric, which means it responds to human emotional states around it. Positive and negative.”

“You must be pissed or something, cause it’s moving a lot-”

“Aaaand that’s enough of that.” You feel both of his hands on your waist now, pulling you back from the microscope.

“Maan, I was just kidding!” You pout, throwing your hands up and laughing.

“Grab the computer, please.” He shoos you away, and you put a hand up, shaking your head before you spin around and snatch the chunky laptop off the workbench across from you, turning and sliding into one of the swivel chairs at the table before opening the laptop. Egon slides over his open notebook, full of listings and observations of the slime you had looked at.

You immediately get to work putting in the notes into the logging system. You feel an itch in your head to bring up the gala.

“I heard that gala at the museum is in a few days. Are you going?” You ask. Start vague.

Egon freezes at the microscope, rising up to look at you.

“Are you?” He asks in return, not answering your question.

“That depends, are you?” You shoot back, perking a brow and pausing your typing.

You swear you see a slight tint of pink on Egon’s cheeks, as he shifts and leans against the workbench.

“I’ll go if you go.” He states as casually as possible, even though his discomfort is visible.

“I was gonna go if you went.” You shrug, trying to making it as relaxed as possible.

“We could go together.” He adds, his eyes not leaving yours.

You glance down at the computer for a brief moment before looking back up at him, taking your turn for the heat to creep up to your cheeks. You silently nod.

“Are you going to wear a tux?” You ask before your brain can stop you.

Egon tilts his head, a subtle smirk playing at his lips.

“Why? Does it matter to you?”

“No, no! I’m just.. curious. If it’s black tie, then I’m just.. just curious!”

“Curious.. right. Well, I don’t go to many social events, but perhaps I’ll make an exception and see what I can find.” He keeps his eyes on you, folding his arms across his chest- the smirk still stamped to his face.

An exception?

You nod. “Sounds good. We’ll go together.” You state again, setting it in stone- sending him a smirk of your own before looking back down at the computer, returning back to your work.

Egon eyes you for a few more seconds, noticing how the light of the desk lamp hit your face.. Jesus.

He quickly turned back to the microscope before he could get caught gawking over you, returning to the task at hand as well.

Both of you continued your work, and you were first to call it a night- around 2 AM. Egon’s hand brushed over yours as you handed him back his notebook, and he bid you goodnight- watching you walk away and disappear into the sleeping quarters.

Little did you know, he was sharing your same thoughts that night- imagining what the other was going to look like at the gala. But another thought teased your mind as you fell asleep.

If the slime reacted to positive and negative emotions from humans..

What else would it react to?

-

<3

[knight-princess]

We really should make a list of canon things the Willow characters did and said so we don’t forget or get them mixed up with incorrect quotes bc there are some wild and hilarious things in this show and I feel like the longer Willow is off air the more I’m going to go “did I totally misremember or . . ?”

Things like:

Elora calls Jade “J” at one point

Boorman’s reasoning to Jade for wanting to get into the vault at Nockmaar is “what if there’s a giant gold statue of an eagle fighting a horse?”

Sorsha literally pulls the “you think I’m tough you should have met mine” card when they’re having the mommy issues talk

Kit’s wtf face to Jade when Boorman (does anything) reveals he was asking the horses to stop jumping off the cliff

Feel free to add!

[nightshadow1607]

Immortal Izuku: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Shinsou: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Immortal Izuku: Death is a social construct.

--

Aizawa: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case.

Hizashi: Shou, that's a coma.

Aizawa: Sounds festive.

--

Vigilante Shinsou: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Informant Kaminari: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Vigilante Izuku: In that case, we're definitely lost.

--

Vigilante Izuku: I was arrested for being too cool.

Shinsou: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

--

Feral Izuku: Just because I'm too short to reach the lowest self in the cabinet doesn't mean you shouldn't watch out for your kneecaps.

--

Shinsou: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

--

Aizawa: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

--

Izuku, holding a python: I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Hizashi, in the verge of a heart attack: You did WHAT–

Shinsou: William Snakepeare

--

Izuku: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.

Aizawa: Oh, you’ve been?

Izuku: Once. In Monopoly.

--

Shinsou: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Aizawa: You're like 15 years old

Shinsou: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

--

*Izuku and Shinsou are doing something absurdly dangerous*

Vigilante Izuku: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!

Vigilante Shinsou, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.

--

Izuku: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Bakugou: Deku, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

--

Kirishima: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Tokoyami: How am I supposed to know?

Kaminari: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Tokoyami: *sighs*

Tokoyami: You wouldn't be trapped.

--

Spinner: What do you think Dabi will do for a distraction?

Mr. Compress: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Mr. Compress: ... or they could do that.

--

Izuku: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Shinsou: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

--

Quirkless Izuku: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

--

Uraraka: What do you call a fish with no eye?

Iida, not looking up: Astyanax mexicanus

Uaraka: 

Uraraka: fsh

--

*Shinsou and Izuku sitting in jail together*

Vigilante Izuku: So who should we call?

Vigilante Shinsou: I’d call Aizawa, but I feel safer in jail

incorrect quotes because why not? (part 5)

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

Here she is, feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen…

Hello, and welcome to my blog <3

You can call me Jaimiee! I am a teen, as in I’m a M-I-N-O-R, so keep that in mind while interacting with me and my posts! Other names that work for me are Alfie and Aspen, and nicknames/variations of all three names.

I am a demiflux** person, the static part of my gender being female and the fluctuating part being non-binary. I use she/her pronouns, but I do not want to be referred to as a girl. Although I’m fine with people using words such as “bro”, “dude”, “girl” etc. when talking to me.

I am also a bi-lesbian** and ambiamorous**.

**These links lead to a website called LGBTQIA+ Wiki, which includes the definitions of the terms above.

I often question my sexuality, gender identity, romantic orientation etc. Those parts of me, as well as my pronouns, might change over time. Just a heads up!

This blog is a safe space for everybody except:

TERFs (Trans Exclusive Radical Feminists)

Queerphobes (This includes exclusionists**)

Zoophiles

”MAPs” (“MAP” stands for “Minor Attracted Person” = pedophile)

Zionists

Racists

Nazis

Radical feminists

Cheaters

People who make fun of other people with disabilities

Bad people in general. The list is too long to continue.

**The only sexualities I exclude aren’t even sexualities, but since some people insist that they are: zoophilia and pedophilia, for obvious reasons. At least it is obvious to me that those two do not belong in our community, and if you disagree, kindly see yourself out. I accept every orientation, regardless of if I understand it or not, but I cross the line at the point where it’s harmful to others. That is pretty much what I live by at all times. Unless it’s harmful to others, I don’t mind it!

Now that we have all that out of the way, let’s move on to the good stuff, shall we?

1:35

Interests I will be posting about:

The Marauders & co

Harry Potter

Taylor Swift (I’m a friend of Dorothea 👀)

Conan Gray

Chappell Roan

Music in general

Problems in the world I’m passionate about, like queerphobia!

To be added onto as I remember more stuff…

These things include reblogs of fanart and microfics, microfics of my own, others’ and my own character and ship headcannons, incorrect quotes, lyric analyses, weird ass theories, long rants that will most likely turn into whole ass essays and *drum roll* sleep deprived shitposting.

I also post poetry and I aim to start posting one or two audios of me singing every now and then.

Sometimes I may vent a little or even trauma dump every now and then. As I am writing this new intro post, I am in quite a bad state. Depression, am I right? I’ll try my best to act cheerful and happy on here, my goal in life and on Tumblr is to make as many people as possible feel as safe and welcomed on my blog as possible. I love reviving asks or dms, so go ahead and talk to me or tag me in stuff or whatnot! But I can’t guarantee that I’ll always have the strength to reply to stuff like that. Just know I’m not ignoring anyone, and I’ll reply to everything when I have the time and energy!

I am yet to be officially diagnosed with autism and ADD, but me and a bunch of adults all agree that the signs are there, so I am pretty sure of it. If you see me reblogging posts tagged #bpd (which I do often), don’t pay too much attention to it. They’re just relatable af.

"Sorry is all I am, & all I know is how to be sorry in silence.”

— yourlocalbadgerscales

Jaimiee’s favourite ships:

Drarry (Draco Malfoy x Harry Potter, ”Harry Potter”)

Jegulus (James Potter x Regulus Black, ”Harry Potter” and more specifically during the marauders era)

Wolfstar (Remus Lupin x Sirius Black, ”Harry Potter” and more specifically during the marauders era)

Rosekiller (Evan Rosier x Barty Crouch Jr., ”Harry Potter” and more specifically during the marauders era)

Deamus (Seamus Finnigan x Dean Thomas, ”Harry Potter”)

(Link to a post about my favourite characters, singers etc. is on its way…)

(Link to a post with all by sideblogs is on its way…)

My tumblr family:

My parent @meatybunger

My child @homocidalpotat

My child in law @names-confuse-me

My other child @dragonfanplaugedr

My partners @junos-ocean-galaxy (husband 💅💍), @ravenwordss and @here-am-i-sitting-in-a-tin-can

They’re not my irl family btw haha

Shoutout to @atokirina-tsuki, the first person to follow me that day in June 2024! And to @homocidalpotat for always being there for me :3

Tags I will be using are #jamstag (for literally everything I post) and #jam bleeds ink (for poetry).

And guys, please remember that I’m always willing to chat with new people! No matter if you’re below or above 18 years old you can reach out, as long as you don’t plan on being disgusting :)

If you have questions about any of the labels I use, or anything else LGBTQIA+ related, or if you’re new to a fandom I’m in etc., feel free to dm me or send an ask my way!

[thepumkinmoth]

I got bored and remembered incorrect quotes generator

Julia: I’m so happy two of my favorite people are getting along now.  Kamille : Uh, Tonny and Sahed are not getting along.  Julia: They’re not trying to kill each other.  Kamille : You may have a point.

Sahed: Hand me the people opener.  Julia: ...  Julia: Pardon?  Sahed, annoyed: The g! Just hand it to me!  Julia, stressed: WHAT THE FUCK IS A PEOPLE OPENER?  Sahed: How do you not know what a people opener is? Its pointy- you know? With a handle?  Julia: Knife. It's called a knife.

Kamille : *watching their house burn down*  Kamille : Kamille : *starts filming* Waddup, guys, welcome to my vlog, today's topic: how to get away with accidentally committing arson because you forgot Spaghetti O's cans are metal and thus non-microwavable! Step one: deny everything.

Sahed: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.  Tonny: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

Tonny: You’ve got to learn to love yourself.  Rainah: But don't you hate yourself.  Tonny: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused.

Tonny: What do you have?  Julia: A KNIFE!  Tonny: NO!

Sahed: We have a problem.  Rainah: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Sahed: I have a plan.  Julia: Good! As long as we aren’t breaking the law again, I’m open to hearing it.  Sahed: …  Julia: …  Sahed: I no longer have a plan.

Sahed: Thanks for not telling Julia what happened.  Kamille , dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this.

Sahed: Julia, why are you crying?  Julia: This book is so sad!!  Sahed, picking it up: But this is my diary-

Kamille : Julia, get that hidious thing out of the living room, would you?  Julia: Sahed, Kamille wants you to get out of the house.

Julia: I hate you sometimes.  Sahed: Well according to this picture Rainah drew of us holding hands that's not true.  Julia: Sahed, you drew that.  Sahed: It doesn't matter.

Julia: Oh, fiddlesticks.  Sahed: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

Julia: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.  Julia: Me too!

Rainah: I have a problem.  Sahed: Kill it.  Rainah: Can you chill for like, two seconds?

Tonny: Are you this rude to everyone?! 

Julia: Yup. 

Julia: Don't think you're special.

Sahed: Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up! 

Sahed: Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!

Sahed: What goes up but never comes down?  Rainah: The amount of stress you're bringing this family.

Tonny: It’s time to turn this into a real business.  Kamille : What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes?  Rainah: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes?  Julia: I handle our accounting.

Julia: Didn't you die?!  Kamille : That was weeks ago, dude. Things change.

Rainah: Oh Sahed, we have a visitor!  Sahed: Don't tell me it's Kamille .  Rainah: It's Kamille .

[youling-the-ghost]

More sfth incorrect quotes! ft. hopefully better formatting (the link I used to generate these)

*obligatory "none of the shipping quotes are me actually shipping them"

Tom: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant. Luke, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you. AJ, who broke into his house an hour ago: Two sugars please. Luke: Coming right up. Luke: Tom, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery. Tom: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

Tom: CHARACTER. FLAWS. ARE. FUCKING. IMPORTANT. Luke: Me when someone tells me to stop eating mayo packets like they’re gogurt tubes. Sam, making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce. Tom: Hey, do you take constructive criticism? Sam: I absolutely fucking do not. Tom: I never understood why people cared so much about their dumb friends until I got a dumb friend myself. Tom: *Picks up AJ* Tom: I’ve only befriended AJ for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then my self. AJ: Everyone has a toxic trait. Except Tom, he's perfect. Tom: Wrong! My toxic trait is how badly I want to domesticate a raccoon. Luke: Ew. What kind of tea is this? AJ: I boiled gatorade. AJ: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people. Sam: Do you want this handful of moss? Tom: Why would I want a handful of fucking moss? Sam: Damn, you could’ve just said no. Tom: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. AJ, Sam, & Luke: Okay. Tom: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. AJ: Bold of you to assume I have money. Sam: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Luke: Bold of you to assume I can die. Luke: Two brooooos! Sam: Chillin' in a hot tub! Luke: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay! Sam: Luke: Sam: *tearing up* Luke: Babe, c'mon… Sam: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING. Luke: Babe… Luke: Wow, they really hate us. Sam: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic. Luke: But we’re not gay, Sam. Sam: Luke: Sam: We’re not? Sam: What’s it like being tall? Luke: Is it nice? AJ: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? Tom: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want. Luke: I think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise. AJ: What's the surprise? Tom: Blood poisoning. Tom: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand. AJ: I photosynthesize with this. Luke: What is it called when you kill a friend? Tom: Homicide. Sam: Murder. AJ: Homiecide. Tom: What do we say when making bread? AJ, glumly: That's the dough rising. Tom: And what do we NOT say? Sam, sadly: That's the yeast fucking. Sam: What if people had food names and food had people names? Luke: Hey, spaghetti, we’re having Sam for dinner. Tom: What is wrong with you people? AJ: Shut up, chocolate. Sam: Time freezes for everyone but you one day. What do you do? Luke: Oh… I’d mildly trouble everyone. Sam: Alright, so what would you do? Luke: I’d shave a one-inch thick line in every thick beard I saw. Luke: I’d twist all the lightbulbs just a little bit so no one would know when they aren’t working. Luke: I’d make every wing on girls eyeliner just a little bit higher than the other one. Luke: And I’d tie everyone’s shoelaces together. Luke: And then lastly, I’d snip a little hole in every tea bag. Sam: Sam: Remind me to never allow you to have power.

[greekmocha]

I was bored so decided to write some minor stuff.

Favorite couples of Greek Mythology! (Canon and Non-Canon)

I’ll be honest some of my reasons or explanations will sound like crack. Some I actually want to make a fanfic of! (Even though I’m still in the process of writing a Non-King one, but writers block there). Keep in mind I am tired so all these are randomly explained without full reason why I like them.

Canon Mythology:

Hera / Zeus: Alright this one is probably the one that gets most trashed on, but it’s honestly great! Yes they have issues, but they do love each other. It’s complicated, but they’re gods- I can’t even explain why it’s great as thousands of thoughts run through my head about them, but yeah.

Ariadne / Dionysus: This one I found rather neat! Theseus was a prick and left her on an island, then Dionysus and his party bus came along and picked her up, then later on turned to husband and wife! I mean they’ve never even fought in any myths that I’m aware of, and just seem so chill.

Aphrodite / Ares: Ngl, this is my all time favorite one. Ares literally fought on her side in the Trojan war, going against his mother! And he’s like a devoted son, and he picked Aphrodite- love. And yes they both have their own lovers, but they just have a thing that feels like it’d be constant.

bonus ones I won’t go much into, enjoy but don’t think of too much:

- Achilles / Patroclus: Had to be obvious, but I haven’t read the Iliad in a few years so can’t explain much.

- Apollo / Hyacinthus: Love the tragedy of it all, like it seemed genuinely sweet, then the discuss came along.

Non-Canon Favorite couples of Greek Mythology!

Hades / Prometheus: Some who actually read my blog could tell this is my all time favorite pairing. Yes there’s like no myths of them together- but the concept! I personally imagine they met during the Titanomachy, and had a quiet companionship. Later on when humanity came along, Hades helped a tiny bit- gave the basic idea for a soul while Prometheus did the rest, and led to Hades making the Underworld comfortable for the deceased, since it was his beloved friends creation. And the possible angst?? Prometheus getting his wife or when he gets chained to the mountain, and Hades mourning in silence.

Demeter / Hecate: They seem neat, what can I say? Hecate helped Demeter search for her daughter, even though she’s typically seen as a resident of the underworld- she helped! I like to just imagine women tired of others bs, and if I was confident in writing I’d likely have made 100 fics revolved around them.

Aphrodite / Persephone: The two considered the most beautiful! When I read the whole myth focusing on Psyche, I immediately thought rivals to lovers for this pairing. The whole box of beauty, sending a death curse back. Just two incredible goddesses. I’d like to imagine the two of them were friends when Persephone was younger! Though of course in my AU (I’m gonna call it Mykos verse or smth) since Persephone and Aphrodite aren’t married, the two of them would have likely hung out a lot.

Additional ones I like but don’t think of often:

- Ares/Heracles: I will not explain my reasoning behind this, as it’s dedicated to a fanfic I have solely in my brain.

- Apollo/Ares: Saw a few posts of them, and thought they were cute!

- Hephaestus/Ares: Thought it’d be funny, great potential for angst, whole enemies thing, etc. it’d be so toxic, it’d be so hurt, like I could see them digging into each other and ripping metaphorically into the others heart. Like many centuries of insults, that whole cheating thing leaves wounds. (I have too many au’s and brain rots for them)

- Hera/Zeus’s former lovers: Now that one was interesting, can’t remember the blog but the whole thing and incorrect quotes was rather sweet.

- Poseidon/Hades: This is Greek mythology, definitely not the worst pairing. I read a fic of it once, and thought it was kinda nice. Besides the whole idea started when I heard of the Hadalpelagic zone in the ocean, and thought it could be a fun meeting spot between the two.

And that’s the end!

[spencermorgans]

Incorrect Quotes Generator II

Rossi: I never said I was gonna get back together with them. But I was thinking, they're in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave them a call? Spencer: No. No, Rossi, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Rossi calls Hotch. Number five: Derek gets eaten by a shark. Derek: I’m Derek, and I approve the order of that list.

-

Derek: Bad news—Rossi locked themself outside of their own house. Derek: Good news—we didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith. Derek: Bad news—Hotch finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory(TM). I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned it was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute guys Derek: Good news—a cute guy saw me do it. Derek: Bad news—it was Spencer, and since they’ve already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, they’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. They know.

-

Spencer: I’m so happy two of my favorite people are getting along now. Rossi: Uh, Hotch and Derek are not getting along. Spencer: They’re not trying to kill each other. Rossi: You may have a point.

-

Derek: What’s the announcement, Spencer? Spencer: It’s a lecture. Hotch’s gonna tell us everything they know about sex. Rossi: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds.

-

Spencer: seductively takes off glasses Spencer: Wow… Derek: blushes Haha… what? Spencer: You're really fucking blurry.

-

Derek: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world. Spencer: Unless you're home alone.

-

Spencer: It doesn’t have a bone. Derek: Then why is it called a boner?

-

Spencer: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning. Derek: This is a lie. Derek: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie. Derek: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

-

Hotch: It'll be fun. Hotch: We'll make a day of it. Hotch: Come on you punk bitch. Rossi: I can't believe I have to say this. Rossi: I don't have time to get tested for sti's with you tomorrow.

-

Emily: So you like cats? JJ: Yeah. Emily: tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table

-

Emily: How do I tell JJ that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

-

JJ: What’s your body count? Emily: Do you mean sex or murder?

-

Emily: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it. JJ: What- how? Emily: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

-

Emily: JJ, is that my mug you’re drinking out of? JJ: No, it’s mine. Emily: It… looks just like the one I have… JJ: You don’t have one like this anymore.

-

Gideon: walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone Rossi: Hey, Gideon, how was your day? Gideon: picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Rossi Hell. Hotch, watching this unfold: whispers Who hurt you?

-

Hotch: So, what’s Rossi's type? Gideon: Brown eyes, kind, oblivious, good sense of humor, turtle lover. Hotch: Sounds kind of like me. Too bad we’re just friends. Gideon: Did I mention oblivious? Hotch: Yeah, why? Gideon: Okay, just making sure.

-

Gideon: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? Hotch: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"? Rossi: Ya know… it might be.

-

Hotch: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Rossi a little bit. Gideon, holding Hotch's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation. Hotch: No, that's our joint tombstone. Gideon: My mistake.

-

Penelope: H-how do you ask someone out? Emily: Well, first- JJ: Don't ask them, they asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot. Penelope: …And you said yes?

-

Gideon: Who do we know that has handcuffs? Rossi: Well Hotch and I- Hotch: elbows Rossi Rossi: …wouldn't know.

-

Gideon: What did Rossi do this time? Hotch: More like WHO did Rossi do this time?

-

Hotch: And here we see Rossi and Gideon in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh. Rossi: Gaelic bread. Gideon: Grueling brad. Rossi: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

-

Gideon: They can't make me admit France exists, right? Legally, that's not allowed. Gideon: Sure, if France was REAL I'd say I liked it. Gideon: But who's to say. Rossi: I think France isn't real. Hotch: Rossi, you've been to France. Rossi: And???

-

Gideon: I need 28 lightbulbs for 28 ducks. Hotch: Ducks can’t eat lightbulbs? Rossi: I think that’s the point. Gideon: Exactly. I want my ducks to glow so I can find them.

-

Hotch: What happened to Gideon? Rossi: They died. Hotch: They what? Rossi: They died, but they’re okay. Hotch: …Can you please clarify? Gideon: Clarification is for the weak.

-

Gideon: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Hotch recently. Rossi: No, Gideon, it's not what it looks like, I swear. Gideon: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous? Rossi: No! You’re the only one for me. Gideon: Is that so? Rossi: I promise! Hotch and I are just dating, okay? They’re my partner. Gideon: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved? Rossi: You are still my one and only best friend! They’re just the love of my life, nothing more! Gideon: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right? Rossi: Of course bro! Gideon: Bro… Hotch: What the-

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Rossi (brainstorming ideas for pranking Hotch): How much could a serial killer mask possibly cost? Gideon: Well it’s hard to find a high-quality one made out of leather or silicone, but if you did find a good one like that it’d be a couple thousands of dollars. I can try to hook you up with one but I don’t know if I’d be very successful. Rossi: Huh, that’s pretty interesting actually- Wait, how the hell do you know that? Gideon: …I am very passionate about Halloween, Rossi.

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Spencer: Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying? Derek: Damn, if people did that to each other, Hotch would've killed me years ago.

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