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yellow-computer-mouse · 3 months ago

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EuryPoli incorrect quotes bc we're gay

Eurylochus: Pros and cons of dating me. Eurylochus: Pros. You'll be the cute one. Eurylochus: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Polites: I would never say that my boyfriend is a bitch and I don’t like him. That’s not true… My boyfriend is a bitch and I like him so much!

Odysseus: Ooh, somebody has a crush Eurylochus: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Polites, I just think he's cool. It’s not like I stay up at night thinking about him. *Later that night* Eurylochus, very much awake: Uh oh.

Polites: If you want my advice- Odysseus: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times. Polites: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, they’ve also tried to kill me. Eurylochus: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder.

Eurylochus: I didn't drink that much last night. Odysseus: You were flirting with Polites. Eurylochus: So what? He's my partner. Odysseus: You asked if they were single. Odysseus: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

Polites: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close. Eurylochus, blushing: Okay. Odysseus: It's fucking summer.

Odysseus: How the hell did you crash the car?! Polites: So I was just driving today, right? And my navigation told me to go straight. Polites: I was like "woah, that's homophobic". Instead, I went gay. And, THAT'S when I got into an accident. Odysseus: ... Eurylochus, with a proud smile: And THAT'S who I'm in love with, ladies and gentlemen.

Odysseus: So, what is Polites to you? Eurylochus: The reason I wake up every morning. Odysseus: ...That’s adorable. Polites earlier that morning, barging into Eurylochus′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

Polites: Why doesn’t Eurylochus find me sexy when I bite my lip? Odysseus: What do you look like when you bite your lip? Polites: *bites lip* Odysseus: ...Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead?

Polites: I think I'm falling for you. Eurylochus: Then get up.

Polites: Relationships should be 50/50. Eurylochus cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

Eurylochus: Did it hurt when you fell- Polites: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt- Eurylochus: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs. Polites: ... Eurylochus: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

Eurylochus: Ugh, crushes are so dumb. Polites: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid. Eurylochus: But you’re always acting stupid? Polites: ... Polites: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

Polites: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. Eurylochus: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Eurylochus: Bro- Polites: No, no, hold up, rewind. Polites: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

Eurylochus: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us. Polites: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Polites: This date is boring! Eurylochus: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store. Polites: Then why did you invite me? Eurylochus: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Eurylochus I'll do what I want!

Eurylochus: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response. Polites: Wow. They sound stupid. Eurylochus: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense. Polites: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!” Eurylochus: I guess you’re right. Hey Polites, I love you. Polites: See! Just say that! Eurylochus: Holy fucking shit. Polites: If that flies over their head then, sorry Eurylochus, but they're too dumb for you. Eurylochus: Polites.

Polites, throwing their head into Eurylochus's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Eurylochus, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

Polites: I think we should kiss. Eurylochus: And I think you should die but we don’t always get what we want.

Eurylochus: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. Polites: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. Eurylochus: ... Eurylochus: You mean ring bearER, right? Polites: ... Eurylochus: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

Eurylochus: I love you. Polites, not paying attention: What was that? Eurylochus: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

Polites: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing. Eurylochus: Are you a software update? because not right now.

Polites: We have a problem. Eurylochus: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Polites: That was so hot, Eurylochus. Eurylochus: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets. Polites: I'm so in love with you.

Eurylochus: How do I tell Polites that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

Polites: Eurylochus is playing hard to get. Polites: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

Eurylochus: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you. Polites: That's great, Eurylochus. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

Eurylochus: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. Polites: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely* Eurylochus: That one. I want that one.

Polites, to Eurylochus: We had a date! Polites: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*

Polites: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Eurylochus: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Eurylochus: I want to kiss you. Polites, not paying attention: What? Eurylochus: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Polites: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out? Eurylochus: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

Polites: I have feelings for you. Eurylochus: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Polites: What are you in the mood for? Eurylochus: World domination. Polites: That's a bit ambitious. Eurylochus: You are my world. Polites: Aww... Eurylochus: Polites: Eurylochus: Polites: OH.

Polites: Do you want to know your gay name? Eurylochus: My... my gay name? Polites: Yeah, it's your first name- Eurylochus: Haha. Very funny Polites- Polites: *gets down on one knee* And my last name. Eurylochus: Oh- oh my god.

Polites: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Eurylochus is? Because Eurylochus is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Polites: Eurylochus, you love me, right? Eurylochus: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

Polites: Go fuck yourself. Eurylochus, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch

Eurylochus: We both look very handsome tonight. Polites: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you." Eurylochus: I couldn't take that chance.

Eurylochus walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Polites, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK. Polites, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

Polites: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning. Eurylochus: This is a lie. Eurylochus: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie. Eurylochus: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

Eurylochus: Is something burning? Polites, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you. Eurylochus: Polites, the toaster is literally on fire.

Eurylochus: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Polites: I wrote you a poem. Eurylochus, already crying: You did?

Polites: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash. Eurylochus: Oh. We're going out? Polites: Wh...

*Eurylochus and Polites are in Paris.* Eurylochus: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny? Polites: But... Eurylochus: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and... Polites: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception? Eurylochus: Yeah. Polites: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe. Eurylochus: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION. Polites: Okay, alright.

Polites: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles. Eurylochus: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one? Polites: Seize the dick.

Polites: Are we fighting or flirting? Eurylochus: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck- Polites: Your point?

Polites: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? Eurylochus: Peonies, why? Polites: Eurylochus: Were you going to get me flowers? Polites: Eurylochus: Polites: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

Polites: So you like cats? Eurylochus: Yeah. Polites: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

Polites: *seductively takes off glasses* Polites: Wow... Eurylochus: *blushes* Haha... what? Polites: You're really fucking blurry.

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caramellcandy · 2 months ago

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this song reminds me of eurypoli! I imagine it beign from eurylochus' perspective :3

it's called "don"(gift) and it's in spanish but I translated it because I don't havee anythhing better to do (there is already someone who translated it but I don't like some of the choices they made so I'm making my own)

youtube

translation under the cut

I want to know what is wrong with me I ask you, what's wrong with with me? and you don't know what to answer, because of course, for sure I made you dizzy with my comings and goings I tired you with my slow motion And even though I try, I can never rush my decision

in the precise moment when everything's changing for me in that instant I assure you that I gave you some sign but you didn't hear me, perhaps without any intention on your part the sound of my voice may be a little weak

oh, one morning I will see you arrive and I will discover that I, I am not better off alone and, I will ask you to accompany me where? I don't really know tell me yes, lie to me it could happen that at the end you broke the crystal inside me it could happen that you make me talk I believe that you have the power to cure this ill

I feel like I have to find you and however I spend time withdrawing into myself to my center that I will never find I would like to have you and treat you in a decent manner But you see that I can't detach myself from my role anymore

I'll have to calm down and play the game that you propose me I let my guard down I receive you and I shelter myself on your skin the destiny has given me unbalanced hearts your word levels me and stops my fall

oh, one morning I will see you arrive and I will discover that I, I am not better off alone and, I will ask you to accompany me where? I don't really know tell me yes, lie to me it could happen that at the end you broke the crystal inside me could happen that you make me talk I believe that you have the gift to cure this ill

it's a solo it's Lolo's guitar(this is one of the band members)

it could happen that at the end you broke the crystal inside me you opened mi skin that was in such bad state You broke the silence that made me stay away maybe it will be you who'll get me to come back I assume you the batter way and you have the gift requiered to cure this ill

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