#they make me feel a type of way

[cry-ptidd]

Alucard is a boydad but vladcard is a total girldad. I can't explain it but that's the vibes they're giving off,,,,,

Peak characterization my dear anon

Alucard is a boydad stuck with a daughter

(it doesn't change at how he'd treat her if she was a son she still suffers either way)

"LOCK THE FUCK IN"

"Shut up"

Fatherly disappointment followed by resignation (also him calling her an idiot for a minute straight)

And ofc. These gems

Peak boydad. He calls her 'sport'

Vs

Peak girldad Vlad

THAT'S A PROUD DAD RIGHT THERE!!!

He brags about her all the time. You never hear the end of it.

"Yeah, your kid went to Harvard? Cute. My daughter tho--"

He brings her everywhere, and is always there when she's struggling (somehow predicts it). A guy comes within a 20 mile radius of her and he whips out the shotgun. He cuts up apples and places it on her desk without a word and he compliments her hair and outfits and he let her paint his nails when she was little. The first person who made fun of him for having poorly painted sparkly nails got stabbed in the kidney.

Also, he already has a dad laugh.

Overall, maybe Hellsing is actually about Boydad Alucard's journey to becoming a girldad

[xplore-the-unknwn]

THIS SHOT OF NOA AND MAE! EXCUSE ME?! 👀🙈

The intense eye contact. The closeness. The hands around each other. PERFECTION!!! 😭😫

I can feel the intensity just by looking at it. I told yall the Director is intentionally making this tension between them!! 😫😫

Also where was this in the movie??? I NEED A CLIP OF THIS OMYGOD

[peculiar--princess]

If you didn’t think you’d make it this far, just know I’m so proud of you for still being here.

[slfcare]

the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

In the world of heavy metals, love is denser than hate!

[wasyago]

so, would you?

nothing important under the cut, you don't need to look haha

[a-most-beloved-fool]

One of the lines in TOS that drives me the most crazy is in The Man Trap, when Spock is in command of the Enterprise. A death on the landing party is reported, and Uhura, upset that Spock doesn't display an emotional reaction, challenges him and reminds him that the death could be Captain Kirk. "He's the closest thing you've got to a friend," she says.

And that always sticks out to me.

It paints Spock as a pretty tragic figure, doesn't it?

Like - and this is disregarding new canon, sorry Disco and SNW I'm ignoring you - Spock is kind of implied to be, well. Pretty much alone. Kirk, his brand new captain, at that point, is the closest thing he has to a friend. We know that Spock was on the Enterprise before Kirk's Captaincy, and we know he was at least somewhat close to Pike in that time, but by that point Pike is disabled enough to barely be able to communicate, and it doesn't seem like Spock was close to anyone else on Pike's enterprise - at least no one who stuck around.

He's estranged from his family. Maybe he kept contact with Amanda, but frankly I can't imagine they were calling often. He has an unwilling fiancee who he has no real relationship with. He never seems to (willingly) date, wh He knew Leila Kalomi at some point, but it's blatantly obvious both that they haven't kept in touch and that Kalomi's interest in him makes Spock fairly uncomfortable, so she doesn't count. Am I missing anybody?

And then Kirk comes, and takes over the Enterprise, and, from the very start, looks at Spock with kindness and affection. Wouldn't that be. fucking life-changing? Kirk comes and, in a matter of weeks, single-handedly changes the entire trajectory of Spock's life, simply by liking him. Y'know?

It's genuine, too. It's not like Kirk is just playing nice for the sake of the command team. He's just - fond of Spock. Really, properly fond of him.

And it's more than a bit overwhelming for him, especially because he likes Kirk just as much as Kirk likes him, and he hasn't experienced that before, either. It's wildly obvious how important Kirk becomes to him from his words and actions throughout the show; from "when I feel friendship for you, I feel ashamed," in The Naked Time; to believing in Kirk's innocence when all evidence was against him in Court Martial; to breaking through the blood fever to beg T'Pau to forbid Kirk's participation, and also his smile in Amok Time; to Spock jumping in the path of a poison flower in The Apple; and on and on. It's obvious to the viewer, and it's just as obvious to other characters in the show. Spock treasures Kirk and his friendship.

Idk. I'm just regularly blown away by how astoundingly impactful Kirk was on Spock. From the very moment they meet, they're both irrevocably changed. Two halves of a whole indeed! I can understand how it would frighten Spock enough to make him flee to Kolinahr, unused to the sheer emotion brought on by Kirk, and I can understand how it would be compelling enough to cause him to return.

[silverwhittlingknife]

So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!

No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)

25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim

This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!

OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:

WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3

Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)

I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!

Below the cut:

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)

On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)

Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)

I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)

I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)

1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)

2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)

3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)

4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)

5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)

On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)

6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)

7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)

8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)

9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)

10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)

Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)

11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)

12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)

13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)

14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)

15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)

I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)

16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have.  If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)

17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)

17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)

18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)

19) In my head he’s the responsible one.  (Gotham Knights 10)

I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)

20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)

21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)

22) I trust him.  When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)

23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)

24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)

25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)

Final rambling thoughts:

TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.

SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.

And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf

All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.

But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!

Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.

And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --

-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3

[kenshimybeloved]

We’re never gonna get canon Johnshi because they’d be too much of a power couple I truly don’t think anybody would be able to handle it bc I know I wouldn’t be able to

[saltpepperbeard]

is this anything

[potato-lord-but-not]

I’m a man of my word 😩🤚 doodled them using refs of the most bisexual photos ever

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[lushrue]

thinking about helping your bear shifter husband prepare for winter hibernation (john price x reader)

“john, i’m home!” you call, toeing off your shoes in the doorway. your arms were full of paper bags from the grocery store. you never seemed to be prepared enough for your husband’s appetite before hibernation. somehow, it was always a shock to you when the cupboards came up empty more quickly than usual. it was your third trip to the grocery store in as many weeks, and you anticipated making a couple more before winter finally came.

you set the numerous bags down on the kitchen counter, unwinding the scarf around your neck once your hands were free. the chill of autumn had fully settled in the air, vibrant reds and yellows dotting the treeline of the neighborhood you lived in. it wasn’t cold enough for your winter jacket just yet, but a beanie and scarf kept you warm enough on your walk to the store and back. as you ran your fingers through your hair to set it right again, you stopped to listen. usually, you would have heard john typing away at the computer in his office or watching a football match on the television. instead, it was nearly silent, save for the sound of rustling fabric and frustrated snuffling coming from your bedroom.

you smiled knowingly. price was picky about how the bedroom had to be for his hibernation. he’d already hung the blackout curtains, which you thought made the room feel like a dungeon. he’d also started working on his stash of snacks and water for when he’d wake up enough to eat and drink. but the bed, that was what he spent the most time on. there were certain blankets he only pulled out during the winter, quilts and furs that had belonged to his family for generations. there had to be a certain amount of pillows, even though they would get knocked off when he inevitably tossed and turned. more than anything, though, he wanted your scent all over.

though you would occasionally go in and sleep with john during the winter, you couldn’t stay with him during his whole hibernation period. someone had to keep the lights on, make sure the house stayed clean, tend to the things that john normally did during the year. even when you couldn’t be there, he wanted to feel like you were. so it was little surprise when you walked into the bedroom to see your husband with his face shoved into a pillow.

you couldn’t hold back your laugh as you stood in the doorway. price’s ears twitched, head turning to catch sight of sweet little you watching him. his cheeks flushed and he chuckled with you, the sound deep and rolling like thunder. “caught red-handed, ‘m afraid,” he teased, tossing the pillow back on the bed. “didn’ hear you come in, lovie.” you smile, moving to his side and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “don’t know how you could’ve through all the pillow stuffing.” he swiped at you playfully as you giggled, a laugh of his own joining yours.

“jus’ tryin’ to find the right ones,” he said, fixing his rapt attention back on the bed. he’d already divided the pillows into two piles: ones that he wanted to keep, and the ones you’d be putting in the closet until spring. you reached up to pet his ears, watching the way he melted into your touch. your favorite part of fall was how clingy he got. always needed his hands on you, needed to have you within earshot. one of his large hands wound around your waist, rubbing over the plush curves of your body. he grumbled, pulling you in close to his chest and burying his head in the crook of your neck. “not gonna get much preparation done if ya keep touchin’ me like that, pet,” he said, the barest hint of a growl in his voice. it always sent a thrill through you when he let the bear come out.

“nonsense. i’m trying to help,” you quip back, pulling away from him and running your fingers down his chest. they continue south, over the soft layer of belly fat he always gained in the autumn, and down to his hip. he quirked an eyebrow, trying to anticipate your antics. “and how exactly is this helping?” he asked, unable to hide the way his breath was quickening with each stroke of your fingers. you smile and pull him towards the bed by his hip. “because,” you start, your voice raising into that breathy octave you know he loves. “we can make all these pillows smell like me.”

the growl that comes out of him as he throws you on the bed might just be your favorite sound in the world.

don't love how i ended this, will probably revisit it later

legit didn't mean to take a hiatus, grad school has been kicking my ass and i got married a few weeks ago so life has been a lot 😅

gonna start working on chapter 9 of frozen hearts and hopefully get that posted soon too!

[gfguren]

shoto, very suggestive, mention of cunninglingus, 500ish words

Thinking about Shoto, your sweet, naive boyfriend, who just doesn't get it most of the time, and how he comes to you one day, asks in the sweetest tone, in the most unbothered way imaginable, if he can eat you out.

And by god does it take every bit of your patience not to call up every last friend of his until you find exactly which one of them put that phrase in his vocabulary.

Instead, you press the pages of the book you were reading closed, turn to him calmly though you're feeling anything but, fold your hands in your lap as if you're heart isn't running a marathon in your chest.

You'd been intimate before, but never like that.

Wandering hands, and heated kisses, and seeing each other in your most raw, and intimate state is one thing—Shoto tasting you is another. Not that you didn't want it, not that he didn't want it either. You just didn't want to go too far, too quick, didn't want to push him out of his comfort zone, didn't want to mess up something so good.

It's why you don't take him seriously when he asks something so out-of-pocket, suggestive in ways you've never known him to be. Why you're absolutely, surely, positive, he isn't asking permission to be in between your thighs, why you're sure he must've heard something wrong, got the meaning twisted somewhere along the way. It's the very same reason you straighten your shoulders to hide the way your knees press together when he adds a little "please" to the end.

"Shoto," you say with as much indifference as you can muster. "That doesn't mean what you think it does, I'm sure you probably think it means to go out to eat, or that-"

He shakes his head, lays a hand just above your knee, squeezes gently until whatever excuse you were blubbering dies on your tongue.

"That's not what it means," he says in the exact tone you use when explaining something obvious to him. "Do you want me to explain it to you?"

You hate how innocently he tilts his head, red hair falling softly over one eye, hate how the butterflies burst, warmth spreading over your cheeks and down between your thighs, because you know he doesn't mean it like that.

"No, Shoto, I-" you sigh, carefully thumb the cover of your book. "It's just, I don't think you know what it means."

You think you hear something like amusement rumble in his chest; it's rare, Shoto's laughter. You've heard it on occasion, fell for the soft reverberation and crescent-moon crinkle to his eyes. But this, this is different.

"I know what it means," he says, matter-of-factly, small, crooked smile tugging the corner of his lips.

He drops to his knees, and you promptly forget how to breathe. His dual gaze finds you from beneath dark lashes; one bright and blue, and eager, the other grey like smoke, clouded with something imploring - it fills your lungs until you can feel just how much he wants you with every bated breath.

His hands are warm when he kneads the fat of your hips between slender, calloused fingers. "So can I?"

Maybe Shoto gets it more often than you give him credit for.

[sunny-sainz]

“its not how it starts, but how it ends” 😭😭😭

i’ll always be rooting for you carlos don’t worry