#but because in the end the things you did right are just Genuinely More Valuable than anything you did wrong
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silverwhittlingknife · 6 months ago
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So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!
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No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)
25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim
This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!
OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:
WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3
Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)
I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!
Below the cut:
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)
On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)
Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)
I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)
I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)
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1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)
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2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)
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3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)
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4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)
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5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)
On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)
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6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)
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7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)
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8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)
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9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)
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10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)
Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)
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11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)
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12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)
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13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)
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14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)
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15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)
I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)
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16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have.  If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)
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17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)
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17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)
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18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)
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19) In my head he’s the responsible one.  (Gotham Knights 10)
I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)
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20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)
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21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)
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22) I trust him.  When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)
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23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)
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24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)
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25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)
Final rambling thoughts:
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TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.
SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.
And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf
All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.
But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!
Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.
And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --
-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3
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#i enjoyed thinking about this so much i wrote a novel with All My Thoughts sorry sdfsdfs#tim drake#dick grayson#somewhat tangential but as i was writing this i was thinking about zahri's post#about how different types of stories offer different kinds of emotional payoffs#and i think for me for dick and tim the main two payoffs are:#1) someone who sees & understands your grief for deaths that will never get fixed or get better#and who will face your ghosts with you EVEN WHEN you're also mad at each other#2) someone who you look at and you see all the ways that you suck & he's better & you're a loser who's failed him etc etc#but it turns out that you're wrong. that you're good enough. not that none of the failures were real or that they were all in your head#but it turns out that it's okay that you didn't always immediately do or feel the right thing#and it's okay that you weren't perfect. you can fuck up six thousand ways & everything you did right will still matter#not because of making excuses or allowances or somebody pityingly trying to make you feel better#but because in the end the things you did right are just Genuinely More Valuable than anything you did wrong#all the times you tried & everything that you tried to give - everything you think wasn't good enough - it was.#IN OTHER WORDS they are both convinced they're not good enough & they are both wrong <3#anyway dick and tim are both INCREDIBLY SIMILAR and also CONSTANTLY misreading each other and i love that for them#and like. they will sometimes totally misread each other & then never figure out the part that they misunderstood#but then they manage to keep going anyway. we love each other on purpose <333#ask tag#dick&tim
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thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai · 6 months ago
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We need to talk about this
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because Yuuri's reaction here is a result of his anxiety disorder and his tendency to self-deprecation and having depressive thoughts. That he ends up here is being carefully foreshadowed throughout the series:
First, Viktor said a couple of things that made Yuuri believe that Viktor only wants to coach him until the GPF:
This
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and this
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is enough to convince and anxious person like Yuuri that Viktor has no intention to coach him beyond the GPF. Note that Viktor never explicitly states that he will coach Yuuri only for the first half of the season - it's the natural conclusion an anxious brain will draw. And that's neither Viktor's nor Yuuri's fault.
And then this, while Yuuri is within hearing distance:
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I'm getting a queasy feeling in my stomach just from watching this scene because I relate to Yuuri so much. If I had eavesdropped on this interview, I would have freaked out internally. Like what does that even mean? Is he talking about his career or is this a carefully crafted answer to convince the press to leave him and Yuuri alone for the next couple of weeks? This secret is probably between Viktor and the YOI creators alone (I have theories, but I'm not going to discuss them here because this post is about Yuuri).
Second, although he becomes more confident throughout the show, the self-deprecating part of Yuuri has a low opinion about his own skating. From his perspective, his contribution to the sport seems less valuable than Viktor's, even when he starts to understand that he's far more than a dime-a-dozen skater. The realisation that he is as least as talented as Viktor, only drives home the moment he breaks Viktor's world record.
Because Yuuri has such a low opinion of himself, he doesn't understand how much Viktor enjoys watching him skate, which is another aspect factoring into his decision.
Third, Yuuri genuinely believes that Viktor wants to return to the ice and would rejoice when Yuuri retires. Having seen Viktor watch the other skaters at the GPF cements the decision he made at the Rostelecom Cup. The fact that basically everyone has told him throughout the last 11 episodes that he's keeping Viktor from skating gives more weight to the idea.
Yes, you got that right. Yuuri deided to retire, before he proposed to Viktor and before he bought two matching rings and put one of them on Viktor's finger. However, now Yuuri knows that Viktor would coach him for as long as Yuuri wants to keep skating, which forces him to release Viktor from his duties at the point he believes Viktor wanted to stop coaching him initially.
"Let's end this" is not about breaking up. Yuuri is releasing Viktor as his coach. He is sacrificing his career so that Viktor can keep pursuing his own career which Viktor once sacrificed for him.
Of course he's surprised that Viktor bursts out in tears.
Yuuri has the right to retire whenever he wants. He doesn't need to consult Viktor. If he thinks (for whichever stupid reason) it's time, he can make this decision on his own.
Is it selfish?
Lol no. Only Viktor thinks it is because he's conflating the coach and the partner and takes it personally. He's hurt and feels rejected because he doesn't understand that Yuuri did it for him and that causes a drama Yuuri was not prepared for.
Is it stupid?
Absolutely. But poor communication skills, Yuuri is too caught up in his mental issues to even think of having a discussion that would lead them to a solution with which both would be happy (both training in St. Petersburg *wink* *wink*). It's not malice, insensitivity, or shitty behaviour that drives Yuuri to this point. It's all about his mental issues. And love.
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hobiebrownbrowser · 1 year ago
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Constant Arguments
I know there is a lot of angst like this going on but for some odd reason it just feels right to make. I feel as if 42 Miles won't be as affectionate then others make him appear to be. NO HATE ON THEM. I love reading them.
I feel like he'll still have a somewhat cold demeanor. I haven't seen many where Y/N doesn't really care that Miles is The Prowler. Just needing him by her side more than anything was a blessing in her honor.
Earth 42 Miles Morales x FEM!Reader
Context: Angst, fluff, sadness, Mild cussing, happy ending
Translations: 'blame google if they aren't correct' 💀
"¿Por qué no puedes decírmelo? = "Why can't you tell me?"
Necesitamos hablar mami. = We need to talk mommy.
"Quítate de mi camino Miles." = Get out of my way Miles.
summary: Y/N doesn't give a shit if Miles is The Prowler.
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"¿Por qué no puedes decírmelo? You avoid my calls, my texts, everytime I try to talk to you! You act like I'm not even 'ere!" It felt like a train hit her when Miles didn't respond, Breaking the eye contact they held for so long. Y/N just rolled her eyes, fed up with a relationship that clearly wasn't working.
"When you wanna talk, hit me up Hombre, other than that you can leave." Y/N shook her head, grabbing her book bag off the floor and walking towards their shared room.
She was acting like this because he wanted to disappear for more than a whole ass week. Ignoring her, leaving his own girlfriend on read when she was worried sick for him. Only think he had to say was "he was busy." Apparently it was more important than she'll ever be.
Slamming the door once she got inside just to feel tears swell in her eyes. Everything was frustrating her, constant arguments, school. The girl was overstimulated to say the least. Her back pushed up against the wall as she attempts to calm herself down with shallow deep breaths.
It felt like everything she worked for was against her. The man she loves not giving her the care she needs to pull through with all of this shit. Her family pressuring her to do a good job in school.
She just wanted to settle down on a peaceful path, but that seemed to redeem to much in her life. Having to work two jobs day and night was a struggle and Miles knew that. Yet he still did what he said he wasn't going to do.
Leaving her when she was the most vulnerable. She felt as if she wasn't valuable in his life at all. Wanting to cut off the one thing that used to make her life better.
But oh how she loves Miles. At the same time she wanted to apologize, pull him in a strong embrace. But she knew in the end he'd do the same thing. Disappear on her for decades on end.
The last string she held onto snapping just from his cold words. The silence was preposterous yet it kept her in a safe haven, able to run away from her problems just like now.
Taking a few more deep breaths and finally getting up off the dirty floor. She needed something to occupy her mind with, scrolling through her phone just to look at good memories.
She needed to wind down, Wanting to just drop out of school and cut off anyone she thought she knew well. She needed to breathe in this already suffocating air. The man on the other side probably long gone and out the door.
She was right, his figure not on the couch any longer than it should be. She wiped her face before stepping out. Going into the kitchen and grabbing a tub of ice cream before heading back into her confined space.
"Princesa." She cursed under her breath. Hearing his soft genuine sweet voice call her by her nickname. The real question was why was he still here. Turning around to be met with dead eyes. It was funny. They'd been together for a year, yet he looks at her the same way he looked at others.
She simply ignored him. Grabbing a spoon from a drawer and trying to push past the firm man.
"quítate de mi camino Miles." He didn't budge, doing the complete opposite infact. Blocking the exit with his body, She threatened to climb over the table if he didn't.
"Necesitamos hablar mami." He simply just tilted his head, A serious look plastered on his face.
"Oh now you wanna talk, ain't your job more important than me?" She got him right there. Miles eyes avoiding her's before looking back up, his chest withhelding big sigh. He wasn't gonna lie because he knew it was. She wasn't in his shoes. She wasn't constantly having to kill people for money.
No. He wanted her to sit still and be the most cherishing thing he had left besides his madre and his uncle. He was in a stressful predicament. How the hell was he supposed to tell his future wife that he was 'The Prowler'?
Miles was stomped, Looking the love of his life in her eyes before wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. The look of confusion on her face as he told her.
Miles watched as she rubbed her temples, her eyes narrowing down to nothing but disappointment. It all made sense now. Why she'd wake up to an empty bed in the middle of the night. The window sometimes left open on countless nights.
He'd even shown her the exact suit he'd killed in, leading her to a small hidden room she didn't even know they had in the first place. She poked her head in which Miles found a bit cute, Taking it out and putting it on like it was nothing but clothing.
You let out a deep sigh before saying what was on your own mind.
"Miles I don't give a shit that you're The Prowler. I just wanted you to tell me." A sigh of relief left Mile's throat. Apologizing to his chica before pulling her into a tight hug and kissing her soft plump lips.
"I'm sorry for not tellin' you sooner Hermosa."
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Part 2 here 💜
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theglassesgirl · 2 months ago
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Calypso vs Antinous: A Tale of Two Villains
I know this is such a weird topic for me to come back for after not blogging for months, especially I’ve never spoken on this fandom here, as opposed to TikTok. But precisely BECAUSE tiktok is so limiting, even if you make various videos on a topic, someone won’t have all the context and the comment system of that app is pure ass so here I am
Calypso and Antinous are two (out of three!) of the MAJOR villains in the Wisdom Saga, however, both these villains have produced polarizing discourse that has fascinated yet confounded me. On Calypo’s end, she is a villain who many are made upset by when she is interpreted as the villain she is (in varying degrees). On Antinous’s end, he is a villain who many are made upset by when he is interpreted as anything BUT the villain he is (in various extremes). What on earth happened here?
I’ll try to dissect what has transpired as i have come to understand both situations.
PLEASE try to read through the end, but if you like, you are also more than welcome to just focus on one section if you don’t care for both discourses or how i think one affects the other. I totally get it. KEEP IN MIND, that i might speak about something you haven’t PERSONALLY seen, but as i often say in fandom, just because YOU didn’t see it, doesn’t mean it didn’t HAPPEN. It adds context to why/how certain fans are reacting as they are. You could be in one camp, and never have seen what the other camp has, so at any point where youre reading and saying to yourself “is this a thing that happened?” Consider that it did indeed, happen, and you are welcome to expand your knowledge on the subject.
ANY comments that go “you have no idea what your talking about/this isn’t true/i’ve never seen this/when did this happen(sarcastically)” will not be answered and you will be blocked, because it is clear you are not actually open to discussion. You’ve made up your mind about these characters and topics, and my time, at least, is valuable.
GENUINE questions like “I didn’t know this/when did this happen (genuine)/can you explain this point more” are more than welcome. I will absolutely entertain character interpretation as well, so long as we’re not trying to “convince” one another, as that isn’t the point of this post. These are two villains who i find fascinating and am wondering why are being treated so differently in discourse spaces.
For Calypso:
I truly and HONESTLY believe that because Calypso is a unique (and lovable! Mind you!) villain, it had led to many of her newer fans to feel uncomfortable with her role in the story. I have seen numerous sides of her discourse and have come with a few iron-clad rules: it is ONLY acceptable to call someone out if they are harassing Wangui, calypo’s VA (which has NOT happened as i am writing this out) OR if an anti-calypso comes into SOMEONE ELSE’s post saying anything like “if you like calypso then you condone her actions” because as what we sane people know, that is just a silly fallacy, OR if they start shit in a cosplayers/fanfic writer/fanartists comment section. ASIDE from these instances, i will be speaking on what none sense has transpired about how Calypso is portrayed in the Musical within her first song, and her future song, because BOTH have been used for utter bias.
A few things to debunk:
FIRST Calypso is NOT cursed to fall in love with anyone who comes across her island. That is a Percy Jackson ONLY addition that has no bearings on her actions in the musical or the original poem.
ALSO though Calypso CANONICALLY RAPES Odysseus for seven years in the original poem, the CHILDREN from that abuse only really exist in secondary sources/works. They NOT in the original poem.
Having said that:
The Ambiguity of Calypso’s actions in both of her songs means that everyone is right when they speculate on what she has done. Odysseus was trapped on her island against HIS will for seven years. He is canonically seen refusing her advances, trying to kill himself, and begging her to let him go and leave him alone. These are UNDISPUTED facts. As such, regardless of how YOU personally choose to interpret Calypso actions, she will always have a CANONICAL victim in the musical. I feel people are forgetting Odysseus when they speak on Calypso and that’s the whole point of her existence in the poem and the musical.
This leads directly into WHY there has been arguments about Calypso’s character. In the POEM, she very much sexually assaults Odysseus for seven long years. He is seen crying nightly and begging to be free. In the MUSICAL, Jorge has decided to leave the situation ambiguous - which, i have seen, does not sit well with current fandom culture. NEW fans of Calypso seem to be very adamant about NOT interpreting Calypso as a rapist, in levels that range for they’re just not comfy with it so decided not to head canon her as such, to other very concerningly speaking about rape survivors in such a way to justify liking a villain when you dont HAVE to justify liking a villain at any point at all ever.
Let’s break it down.
Those who just don’t like the idea of Calypso being a rapist in the MUSICAL are valid. It’s very easy to block and avoid those who have chosen to explore this aspect of her in the musical because they can and are allowed to. I am very pro-finding a space in fandom where you can talk about Calypso without HAVING to mention she might have raped someone. She’s still a villain for having kept Odysseus captive for seven years, but it’s not important. You are more than allowed to love villains, and without the rape aspect, Calypso’s villainy boils down to her physiological and emotionally torturing Odysseus while physically kidnapping him. That’s still ALOT of bad stuff to unpack, if you so want to. You could also not want to! It doesn’t hurt anyone, and anyone who says it does is not being intellectually honest.
The PROBLEM that I’m seeing, is that many of her newer fans…DONT want Calypso to be seen as a villain. At all. Which…is not how fandom works, I’m sorry to say.
While some EPIC fans have interpreted Calypso of being manipulative / selfish even in their most sympathetic analysis of the story (and the current song), others are treating these interpretation as wholly incorrect and somehow a form of harassment. The main caveat to this reaction appears to be, as TikTok puts it, “That Calypso DOESN’T SA Odysseus on the musical”
As we have pointed out, Calypso canonically rapes Odysseus in the poem, while it’s ambiguous in the musical. As we have ALSO pointed out, the ambiguity of the musical allow ALL INTERPRETATIONS to be correct. Something about the RAPE aspect of Calypso’s characterization in this musical, however, is the primary reason this discourse has happened.
Now, as i have said earlier. You are in your RIGHT to not head canon Calypso has a rapist in the musical. In the same vein others also have a RIGHT to head canon Calypso AS a rapist in the musical. But from what I’ve seen, it’s when others interpret Calypso as a rapist that newer Calypso fans leave comments about they’re not “interpreting the story correctly” and not “Judging calypso based on Jorge’s vision” and at first i found it funny…now it’s a bit concerning.
There are two instances that come to mind. One tiktoker made a video where she was in tears saying that it made HER SAD that people were “judging Calypso wholly based on outside sources material” which is disingenuous. As i have said before, even without the RAPE aspect of Calypso, which i will go further into what her newer fans consider “rape”, she is still an antagonist within the musical - she is a villain who keeps Odysseus against his will. To claim that they are calling her a villain for that reason alone is a blatant and useless addition to the discourse. I did not care for it at all. It would have been MUCH MORE constructive for this tiktoker to say that even though Calypso is a villain, the sexual assault is up to individual interpretation, and as all interpretations are valid, it’s better to find people who agree with your head canons rather than start fights with people who don’t share yours. This tiktoker very poorly worded the discourse as a one-sided thing where one side is wrong, and that is simply not true.
ANOTHER tiktoker, who wisely turned off comments because such discussions are impossible on the app, worryingly claimed that a line in Not Sorry for Loving You was absolute PROOF that Calypso did not “rape” Odysseus so it was wrong to interpret her as such, because, and this is a loose quotation “i don’t think Jorge would make Odysseus say something like that HAD Calypso done that to him” which unfortunately leaves fandom discourse into REAL WORLD victim discourse. Holy shit. The line she is referring to is when Odysseus calms Calypso down when she is in the middle of explaining her actions by saying “Calypso i love you, but not the way you want me to” to this tiktoker, it seems illogical for a rape victim to every say these kinds of things to their rapist…which is….NOT it. At all. Fiction, as beautiful as it is, is meant for you to QUESTION “huh…how would this impossible fictional scenario work? What makes this compelling?” It is NOT meant for you to attribute your REAL WORLD assumptions onto a FICTIONAL SCENARIO in order to justify you liking a villain character when you dont HAVE to justify it. You can like Calypso! It’s only weird when you make real-world comparisons like this because a rape victim can and HAS said as much and even more to their rapists in known history. *bonks you* dont do what this person did! Fiction allows you to explore situation that would be traumatizing outside of it in as safe and consensual way! You CANNOT and should NOT ascribe your personal biases on sensitive topics for FICTIONAL characters. That’s not how this works. “real victim wouldn’t x, so fictional wouldn’t y” is a ludicrous statement! You can’t back it up with facts! “Fictional victim does x, so i wonder if there ever would be a situation where a real victim would do y, and would like educate myself on the topic” IS what fiction was made for! OPENing your mind, not closing it for stupid reasons.
But it got me thinking. BECAUSE these fans anchor their arguments on the rape of Odysseus, even when they themselves DONT consider it, what exactly do they consider rape, and why is that ONE act Calypso may or may not do the ONLY reason to call her a villain when she is one, regardless.
Well, I’ve seen a lot of back and forth. Some anti-calypso’s are okay with the idea that Calypso is more of a “kissy-face” monster, a silly villain who, having no concept of what actual love is and what your supposed to do with someone you love, thinks hugging and kissing is the only thing on the table. It still makes this version of Calypso something of a sex pest and is still in line with sexual assault as we see Odysseus is miserable. The gravity of the situation is based entirely on funny fanfics to Odysseus canonically trying to kill himself because of Calypso’s affection. This interpretation (shockingly enough) is also hated by some new Calypso fans.
Because from what i have gathered. “SA” as used in TikTok, had been boiled down to a literal forced insertion of Odysseus’s dick in Calypso’s vagina. Not the literal words “sexual assault” which is an umbrella term for multiple things. But in this discourse “SA” has JUST been used for the ACT of rape itself. That is what new Calypso fans think is criminal. That is what they entirely base her villainy on. Because we will NEVER get confirmation on whether this happened, it’s impossible to engage with some of the newer fans, who dislike attributing Calypso with the villain title because of this one thing and this one thing alone. Any other line, from Calypso saying “and I’m sorry if i pushed you, or if i came on too strong” in her next song, or even her saying “in bed we will climb” is, for some reason, not grounds for others to be allowed to interpret her as, at the very least, assaulting Odysseus physically and sexually in a way without having to have actually raped him. It boggles my mind. Truly. But every argument i have seen has boiled down to the newer fans saying “welllllll, we dont know the context, and Odysseus said —“ when i have already explained that none of that matters. All interpretations are valid. You CANNOT say with certainty that she did or didn’t rape Odysseus. That’s the POINT. You can’t PROVE either, stop TRYING to, it’s YOUR choice and your interpretation can be backed by lyrics/official animatics, but it is hardly an absolute.
It has become a GROWING problem that in videos where Calypso is portrayed negatively, there are at least a dozen newer calypso fans who have to bring up how she is sympathetic, and therefore, not a villain. Which is not true. She is the MOST compelling villain in the epic musical, thus far.
These “fans” say that she absolutely didn’t rape Odysseus which is theory, not fact. And not a theory that can become fact. In the same way that saying she absolutely did rape is can not become fact. They appear to believe everything outside of this hypothetical act, nothing else she does is deserving of her title as a villain, and start arguments in non discourse posts about all the ways she’s sympathetic when it goes hand in hand with what makes her a compelling villain antagonist.
There’s also a newer cope saying that it’s all Zeus’s fault anyway, which has NO bearings on the conversation as, again, despite Zeus being a dick and allowing Odysseus live while not necessarily enabling him returning to Ithaca, it’s still up to Calypso on how she acts towards HER captive. And she straight up chooses violence lmao. Athena asks for “Devine intervention” to an impossible situation, regardless of if it was Zeus’s actions that led to it, it’s also up to him to “untie apprehensions” because Calypso, being a goddess, has complete control over whether Odysseus can leave and SHE won’t. She has to be ORDERD to. By a HIGHER power. Zeus.
Such argumentations as “well if YOU were in Calypso’s situation, wouldn’t you also do the same” are useless fallacies to get into, because you are NOT a goddess who owns an island and is in possession of a man who does not love you. Even if you were, guess what, it still makes you the antagonist. A villain. A knowing one or not.
In fact, since I LIKE interpretations that Calypso isn’t psychologically torturing Odysseus ON PURPOSE, i go as far as to say that her being a genuine goddess who wants love is in fact…..so much more painful, narratively. Because that means she is INCAPABLE of ever being a good person. Her loneliness and fear of being unloved makes her utterly blind to Odysseus’s misery. She HEARS him saying constantly that he misses his family, that all he hears are screams, and that SHE doesn’t know him, but she in turn CANNOT get passed this because she is, at her core, unable to, and thus accidentally triggers him constantly, is delusional about her island being paradise, AND convinces herself that her love is real (when it is not) and that Oddy will love her back if she keeps trying.
THAT is what you call a compelling villain!
As in all Calypso stories. There is NEVER a moment of clarity where Calypso realizes “if i actually love this person, i should let him go” in the musical HERMES is tasked in telling her to let him go. And she, as in all her other stories, goes on a tirade to explain/justify her actions, however you wish to see her being manipulative or honest. Regardless of how you choose to SEE calypso, at the end of the day, she has NO RIGHT to be upset at Odysseus because he was her captive. And REGARDLESS of whether Odysseus’s words are interpreted as him forgiving her, or just placating her, at the end of the day, he is her victim and she ends her next song upset that he is willingly leaving her once he got the chance. With absolutely no hope of him returning her feelings. It’s not his job to make her feel better, she IS an antagonist, and you are allowed to love her no matter how that might upset others. It is ONLY a problem when you take it to such extremes that you are in other peoples comments acting as if Calypso is a real person who needs defending. You are more than in your right to block people who come into YOUR videos accusing you of somehow being a bad person because you like a bad person. That’s not how fiction works.
Once again. My analysis of the Calypso debacle is that for some, calling Calypso a villain upsets them. Because they like her, and they are uncomfortable with the idea of liking a villain. This is a personal grievance that shouldn’t boil into fandom. Know your truth, have fun. You CAN make silly calypso videos. Many have. Her song is a bop, the meaning of the song is hilariously dark compared to the composition. Jorge did his job VERY well. Too well, that the idea of liking Calypso feels either / or when it’s not. TRUST that i would not be on the side of anyone who says “if you like calypso, youre evil”, but I HAVE seen a pattern that because Calypso is likable, than several people have made it their confused mission to tell everyone who is “mean to her” that “if you DISLIKE calypso, YOU are evil”. That’s bizarre to me. Calypso does enough evil actions in the musical to warrant that title regardless of the reasons for her actions, whether she is being purposely malicious or unconsciously so due to her lack of socialization. Being weird about real life SA survivors for a fictional character is never acceptable. For or against Calypso, whether she is a rapist or not, it is up to YOU to find like minded people who share your interpretation, not to argue with people who disagree with you in their own space. She isn’t real. Get over it.
ANYONE WHO HARASSES WAGNUI, COSPLAYERS, OR GOES INTO POSITIVE CALYPSO INTERPRETATION SPACES TO BE PURPOSELY MEAN* ARE WRONG. Otherwise. Leave them alone, they are as valid as you are. “Defending” a character is a waste of time when you could be creating for them. Calypso is a compelling villian antagonist regardless of how uwu or vile you choose to make her. Thus is the beauty of fiction.
(*purposely mean, would, logically, be someone calling you an idiot or a rape apologist for headcanoning her in a positive way. The ideal interaction with a negative calypso interpreter would be “i dont see her this way, but i understand/like your headcanon”)
WHICH BRINGS US TO Antinous:
Hilariously enough. Antinous has the complete INVERSE problem as Calypso, which was also detailed in her section for fairness sake at multiple points, and this problem is much easier to understand. Antinous is a villian antagonist in the musical Epic, and in his debut in the wisdom saga, he is shown (like calypso) to be in direct opposition to Telemachus and Penelope’s goal.
He alludes to sexual assault much more clearly than calypso. He calls Penelope a tramp to her son’s face AND suggests he let them into her room “so [they] can have fun with her” which is in the same vein as calypso saying “soon in bed we will climb” to Odysseus later on that “you (Odysseus) are mine all mine” in her own song. Like calypso, it is told to us that Antinous has been having this kind of vibe for FIVE YEARS* (a fan pointed this out to me! read here🙏🏼) as opposed to calypso’s seven years. Everyone is, usually, in agreement that Antinous is a villain in the wisdom saga and in the overall Epic musical.
Antinous’s VA is ON TikTok, and has spoken about how happy he is that fans consider him a talented person who did a spectacular rendition of such a villainous character. AND YET.
Inversely from what we saw in the Calypso section, where some of her fans are against the notion of her being portrayed as the antagonist she is, for Antinous we have MANY fans claiming that others are not ALLOWED to portray him as anything BUT an antagonist. Unlike with Calypso, where people circularly argue that her allusions to sexual assault are “too ambigous” and lead to much senseless debate on whether you’re “allowed” to like her or call her a villian, with ANTINOUS, there is this claim that he ABSOLUTELY is alluded to sexual assault and therefore, cannot be liked or treated as anything other than a villain.
As i have discussed AT LENGTH in Calypso’s section, this argumentation is pure fallacy.
There have been NUMEROUS thirst videos that have rightfully said that DESPITE the actions of the character, they still think Antinous is hot and likable (the Gaston affect, if you will). Even WITHOUT the disclaimer, it is OF COURSE understood that Antinous fans are NOT rape apologists. That is a ridiculous assumption that serves only to kill any interpretation that someone else can rightfully have.
It’s utterly devoid of nuance or actual knowledge of how to play within fandom and interact w characters.
There have been SEVERAL posts calling Antinous fans delusional for liking him and “reminding” the fandom that he is a bad guy. This serves no purpose and is utterly useless to the discourse. Antinous being a bad guy is not debated. This is factual. It doesn’t (or shouldn’t, because we cannot speak in absolutes) hurt anyone’s feelings to see an Antinous videos depicting him as the villain he is. Like with Calypso it is ONLY acceptable to call someone out if they are harassing Ayron Alexander, Antinous’s VA (which has NOT happened as i am writing this out) OR if an anti-Antinous comes into SOMEONE ELSE’s post saying anything like “if you like Antinous then you condone his actions” because as what we sane people know, that is just a silly fallacy, OR if they start shit in a cosplayers/fanfic writer/fanartists comment section.
Otherwise. Who cares that someone is saying Antinous is a villain? Block the no fun police and enjoy analysis from others who choose to see him purely as what he is, if you want. If you dont, block them to, it’s your space. You have a RIGHT to headcanon Antinous however you want, even make up AUs for him where he’s nice or lives and gets a happy ending, SO LONG AS you’re not in other people’s posts going actually Antie is my uwu child and he did nothing wrong. Cuz then youre just being dumb. And annoying. Fandom is already impatient with genuine disagreement, being a smart ass gets your head dunked in a toilet. I used to think this was common sense.
(And in case you didn’t read the Calypso section, or didn’t see enough of it there, this IS the appropriate response to people who address newer fans of her as rape apologists too, its in her section, i just also thought it was important to touch on the stranger phenomena of her other fans refusing to call her a villain because it makes them personally uncomfortable - it’s very interesting as Calypso is a female antagonist while Antinous being a male antagonist is being treated very differently for the same subject. In any case, it’s a disservice to either character and Jorge’s narrative to get upset about the very real fact that BOTH of these characters are villain antagonists.)
The very CURRENT discourse surrounding Antinous is that he was recently shipped with Telemachus.
The animator for Apollo’s section of God Games was harassed to such a point that she had to make a public apology regarding her ALTERNATE UNIVERSE scenario. And i, personally, think that’s bullshit.
There have been accusations that she was being insensitive to sexual assault survivors, and that she made a dark joke, all of which she addressed in her apology IN ADDITION to her explaining that she is ALSO a survivor of child sexual assault. She took down her work. DESPITE all of this, there are still others who continue to harass her, and claim that they dont want “a rape creator” in THEIR fandom. To those people: you don’t speak for any of us. In the same way you can claim not to believe that the animator is a survivor, i have no reason to consider your concerns in any way shape or form as being in service of victims. It is absolutely not your call, when blocking and scrolling on will ALWAYS be an option for YOU.
Even in the event someone writes Antonio’s fan fiction keeping his canon personality and characterization in a non-canon divergent way it is not grounds to harass people.
In addition to this animator, there have been SEVERAL Antinous shippers who have expressed disappointment that she was essentially harassed into a corner, as they also liked the ship and the AU she created. These people are NOT “weird” they are allowed to express themselves creatively, and if you disagree, dont even bother with leaving any sort of response — i wont read it, my time is important. Stay in your echo chamber. Even if it wasn’t an AU, and someone wants to write for Antinous as he is in the narrative, they are more than allowed to do so. Dark fiction isn’t going to traumatize you or give you cooties. Grow up.
I am MUCH more willing to ride with Antinous shippers than i ever will be with fans who attempt to control how a character is interpreted by others. Because to ship Antinous with anyone, AU or otherwise, you have to have an UNDERSTANDING of why this would be a compelling thing to write/make fanart for. He is an evil character, and it would be FASCINATING to see him in fictional scenarios that (like in the calypso section) lead us to as WHY this would be an appealing and interesting take on someone. It’s OKAY to do it in fiction. He isn’t REAL. It’s not hurting EVERYONE. And more so than with calypso, it IS understood that Antinous HAS victims in Penelope and Telemachus There’s no senseless debate on what he is, a villain, no one is arguing he is a uwu babygirl so please sympathize w him, it’s inherently understood even among his FANS.
This is why find Antonio’s and Calypso’s discourses so polarizing. Because no one is getting offended or arguing that Antinous only acts villainously because of some tragic backstory or sympathetic reason. It would be absurd to.
That’s the appeal of a lovable villain. Because like Calypso, Antinous IS lovable, but in such a different way that you have fans treating both characters as if they’re polar opposite when at the very LEAST, there’s on the same bracket, just different ends of them. Telemachus/Penelope and Odysseus’s plights are being MIRRORED in parallel.
THAT is what floors me about these two discourses. That they are functionally THE SAME yet are being treating as if they aren’t. I’m positive that there is an Antinous fan who detests Calypso in the same way there is a Calypso fan who detests Antinous. These are called biases. Once you KNOW your own bias, it is up to YOU to act right according to them.
You are responsible for your OWN fyp.
The Epic fandom had yet to experience such backwards discourse as this, and I wouldn’t expect Jorge or any of the VAs to dignify such trivial discourse with a response. If you’re the type to bring it up to them, you’re being awful. The popular fandom Epic tiktokers are already way too involved as it is. And even they are getting things wrong.
It almost feels remiss to say that in the NARRATIVE of the musical, both Calypso and Antinous are villian antagonists, while outside of the narrative they become dolls you can play with however you like, so long as we are not in each others comments being obtuse. I don’t expect any of my essay to even make it to a larger part of the fandom. But i HAD to get my ideas written down, because if you don’t see someone else connecting the dots you have, you have to present them yourself. Very “can’t we all just get along?” But hopefully, not as insufferable nor one-sides as others might have been. I tried to bring up ideas/points that i have not seen discussed about these two villains and why they seem to connect and go hand in hand.
Why is Calypso, as a female antagonist, given more grace than Antinous, a male antagonist, who is very firmly given none at all. It very well could be just how they were presented, and if so, ask yourself WHY these villains were presented so differently. What purpose do they serve? What are they trying to accomplish? These are questions more suited for actual fandom collaboration that is being drowned out by circular arguements. It feels like homework, instead of knee-jerk reacting to interpretations unlike your own.
To ME, these two characters are two sides of the same coin. (though I DO think it’s funny that the NEUTRAL phrase to refer to either character is “I hate them BUT” because in reasonable fandoms, this is understood inherently….but in this fandom such decorum seems to be lost? For some reason?? Wisdom saga has brought out a lack of wisdom, I fear.) This is the kind of purity culture that suggest you can’t LIKE a character of their a villain, so you go out of your way to argue they aren’t, or that no one else should like them: that’s bonkers. You might disagree and it might even upset you, but that’s a you problem to have.
Having said that, and if you are POSITIVE that you want to engage in conversation with me, you are welcome to do so.
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hyewka · 2 years ago
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warning: not proofread, perv!gyu in all his realness 🙂..
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beomgyu as your best friend. someone who genuinely cares for you, someone who taught you how important it is to upkeep your platonic relationships because they are just as important and valuable as your romantic ones. there's just something about him that makes you guys almost inseparable, ever since meeting him at your freshman orientation. you guys just...clicked.
which is exactly why beomgyu thinks you're on the same page, or at least somewhat, when it comes to the supposed sexual tension he'd feel is there when things get weirdly intimate. he's tried it out, asking you jokingly if you guys should just fuck, it's not like he hasn't been upfront about how sexy he finds you, admitting it upfront the first day he met you--but maybe that was the issue, the joking nature of his voice, even when he's 100% serious. the exact reason why you laughed your ass off, saying "could you imagine?"
beomgyu would scoff lightly, an embarrassed smile as he plays with the drawstrings of his sweats before eventually laughing along, returning your energy with no fail.
because, hell fucking yeah he could.
it's a little embarrassing how fast things turn from platonic to a quick trip to the bathroom, biting down on his lips, sighing from pleasure, eyes shut closed just imagining how you'd look slipping off the new bodycon you were asking his opinion on. the guilt pooling in his chest is what ironically fuels his speed, frantically jerking off his dick, his eyes rolling back his head when he's close to cumming-- that was his signal to finally imagine your face just one more time, just one more time and he's trembling as he makes a mess into the toilet paper he crumbled in his hand.
whenever you'd spin around, doing those cute little fashion shows that you routinely do before leaving for a party, that was when he'd subconsciously take in every detail he could catch, your curves, the way the top would cup your breasts, god--your breasts. a lucky day is when he could see your nipples outlined through your dress.
its been a tortue for beomgyu, having to quickly pull your pillow laying on your bed, the one he was sitting on as he waited for you to come out your room's bathroom and show him the third outfit option, attempting to hide his boner laying it on top of his lap. but he's so dumb, he's dirty, so disgusting...would you find him disgusting?
what would you think of him if you knew he was bucking his hips ever so slightly, trying to be as discreet as possible, into the pillow the was only meant to hide the stupid erection of his. he can't help it, he can't. especially when the dress you come out wearing is the one he picked out for you a few weeks ago, the one you refused to buy when he took it off the clothing rack--it was a gem to him, but you said it was a little too skimpy, and he snapped out of it, god what was he thinking?
but here you were, the exact dress he recommended, on you. "what do you think?" you asked, examining yourself on your wall mirror. what did he think? he was currently fucking your pillow, going crazy, his hand gripping onto the softness-- he...thought a lot to say the least. but mostly how he definitely did not want you wearing this to yeonjun's party.
beomgyu hasn't ever been possessive of you--he never minded it when you dated people or hung out with other people more than him, but you couldn't wear this out. he can't let other men have this, the bright red complimenting your skin so fucking beautifully, shit, the intricate design of the cuts in all the right places--he just couldn't.
"i don't really like it..." he managed to say normally enough, that it wasn't weird.
you furrow your brows, turning to him, "you're the one who begged me to buy it though?"
"just think the other one was better," he tried to smile, but the ends of his lips were trembling, he couldn't stop ruining your pillow, even when your eyes were directly on him.
thankfully you didn't notice, your attention more on the dresses. "fuck...you're right...you're right! the green one was pretty fucking hot, right?" with a nod of his head, you quickly pick up the discard green dress on the floor, immediately in the bathroom again due to the restraint of time.
beomgyu as your perverted best friend, going back to his dorm after a long shift, opening his computer to relieve his stress and like any man in his early twenties, choosing porn as the tool to do exactly that. clicking on the genre he'd usually get himself off to, until his eyes find themselves staring into a thumbnail--a pov video. beomgyu was never really into this, not ever getting the hype. but it wouldn't hurt to watch one, just for a change of routine.
before he knew it, his eyes bored into his computer screen, on his ninth video of the pov shots. he only watched intently, before the next video autoplayed, the tenth one. he was about to call it a day, shutting off the tab but something caught his eye, halting his movement, slight sweat breaking out on his forehead--why was this girl remind him so much of you? the eyes, the mouth, fuck--right down to the expressions, she resembled you.
suddenly, he gets it. he gets the appeal, imagining the random porn actor behind the camera the girl was sucking off, to be him, it was him and you--and fuck, now he was shifting on his gaming chair uncomfortably, watching every movement of the girl, so engrossed, his brows closely knitted together, slightly chipping down on his nail as he observed.
he hadn't noticed his hand moving on its own, hesitantly going down his sweatpants, once again jerking off in his sweats, like a crazed sex addict, a sore loser, not even having to hide his whispers, quickly turning into whimpers, of your name slipping out his lips like a mantra, a chant, the more he got close, his breathing getting heavier, eyes never leaving his screen, feeling his dick twitch, and finally, one last silent scream of your name when he throws his head back on his chair, eyes still looking down at his screen, still watching, spurting cum all over the insides of his favorite sweatpants. he couldn't even last two minutes of the 12 minute long video.
he's definitely going to have to start collecting.
needless to say, after that day, his friends who often hung around his dorm knew to not ever touch that cursed gaming chair--everyone had a...slight hint of what he'd do on it.
or alternatively, where you'd visit his dorm like usual, choosing to plop yourself down on his comfortable desk chair, unaware of all the times he'd cum all over it--spinning on it mindlessly as you scrolled on your phone.
he comes back to his dorm after fetching the bucket of ice cream he promised to go quickly get for the movie marathon night after horrifyingly seeing that he was out-- coming back from a short trip to the nearest convenience store. "hey!" he shouts out, loud enough for you as he slips off his shoes, excited to start the movie marathon, "i got your favorite flavor, you have to thank me, it's the mint...one..." his words die down, mouth drying.
catching you on that chair. on that chair with your grey shorts, your bare skin touching it...it was unfortunate for beomgyu, that it took one simple thing to ruin his three day streak.
beomgyu who's been on his best friend mode pretty well, but now here he was, sitting straight up on his bed, laptop playing the movie eventually far down his lap to make space for his movement, silently jerking off under the shared blanket. you had dozed off after the third movie, your head comfortably on his shoulder, something so innocent.
but there he was, craning his neck shamefully, trying to get a look down your tank top, your cleavage sending his brain to overdrive, frantically going up and down his length, whimpering, trembling, so quietly, tears forming in his waterline both from the shaming of cumming so quickly--ruining the sheets you were literally sleeping in, and the overwhelming pleasure he had felt from the shame.
he was so so so disgusting, he knew it, he definitely knew it--but he couldn't help it, deciding to change his position a little, rubbing his dick back and forth on your thigh, so slowly as to not wake you up--his previous semen making a mess on your skin.
movie marathons, yeah, hes got to clear his schedule more often for them.
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a/n; omg this was originally something so short lol, i got carried away. anyways..perv bestfriend gyu agenda..phew...i need requests like this in my inbox, i begggg
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ash-says · 7 months ago
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Hush Hush Honey:
A guide on how to regulate oversharing and balancing the conversation flow.
Each one of us has at least been in a situation where we accidentally ended up spilling more than we should. We do recognise the patterns but are unable to control ourselves. That's why your girl Ash-says is here to say a lot about it.
1) Find the why
What are you trying to achieve by sharing that piece of information? Drama? Attention? Get it off your chest? Is it important to inform them? Is it valuable to them?etc.
First tackle the why. Before you go in to reveal something ask yourself if it goes with the conversation flow and if yes is it really important to share it.
2) Are you a celebrity?
No like why? Who is interested in your life so much? Are those people paparazzi to broadcast your current events and bring you fame? No right. So shut up.
3) Who puts their dirty laundry on display?
When you overshare you are basically putting all your secrets, stuff that you do or did on blatant exposure. People are going to judge you. That's the very nature. So breathe and keep it inside.
4) Try to listen more
Train yourself into listening more than speaking especially in group settings or around people that you don't know much about. Gossip is real. You don't want to be the next tea time sensation.
5) Alternatives for talkative people:
Now I know you might be thinking can't say this can't say that then how the hell am I going to bond with people or what should I converse about?
I have developed a solution for you. It's Ash verified because I myself have been using it unknowingly for around 7 years of my life.
Never open your mouth for passing judgements, expressing your opinions on things that do not relate to you, your dirty laundry, secrets, family issues, relationship issues, your sex life, your goals and aspirations, your daily routine, your political standpoint,etc you get where I am going right?
Instead speak about the experiences you had while travelling somewhere, some goofy stuff that happened to you, your harmless vice for example: I am clumsy so I have a lot of incidents that occur due to it which can be told in a funny way. It adds a nuance to my perfectionist image plus helps people warm up to me. Movie shows, songs, etc here also there's a catch if you relate to a show/song/ piece of literature strongly never reveal it. The smart ones will understand the inner workings of your mind.
Never let them know your next move.
If nothing of this then goof around being nonsense. Do little hand gestures, funny faces if you are bored but never overshare.
6) Be mindful of interruption
Practise practise practise. Literally that's the only way. Try not to interrupt people while speaking. There's no roundabout way. It is what it is.
7) Be comfortable in silence
You have to be okay with the conversation dying down. Running your mouth dry will only result in one sided convo. It's more useless and harmful than the one mentioned before.
8) Know your limits
Fix in your brain what you can share and what you can't. Stick to it. Even over your dead body.
9) Be genuinely interested in people
Ask yourself are you asking questions to really get to know the other person or just looking for a chance to talk about yourself? Dethrone yourself first and then interact with others.
10) Put out stuff that you are over with
Always remember what you say can and will be used against you. Drill it and from next time when you speak be mindful that every word can stand against you. Do you have the capacity to handle the consequences? Yes then go ahead. No, then stop live streaming.
Bonus point: Be as private as possible on social media. People don't need to know what you are doing nowadays. Privacy is power. What they don't know they can't ruin.
Strategically put things out. I am not saying be inactive. In Rome you live like the Romans. Do it smartly.
That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.
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tomurawr44 · 4 months ago
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Hiii i just discover your account it's so cool ! What about shigaraki with a darling that litteraly worship him ? 🧐
Have a nice day/night✨🛐
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TOMURA/READER WHO WORSHIPS HIM HC!
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A/N: gulps nervously in my tomura collection worth $1k+.. what..worship this guy? hah, never heard of it
(cough sidenote: utahime/urame whatever her name is and sukuna or xielian and huacheng...)
WARNINGS: nsfw under the cut! ooc tomura?, subby-ish tomura
oh my god this boy is sweating, confused, scared, angry.
he's sweating because he's shocked and nervous! how would he even react to someone holding him in their arms and whispering praises into his ear?
he's confused, where did this come from? why does he deserve this? are you serious or are you being sarcastic?
he's scared because there's an odd feeling in his chest that hurts yet feels so good, it outweighs the feeling of hatred that burns so deep within him.
he's angry because he thinks your a spy or is playing a cruel joke on him, that one day this will all just stop or your just using him to your own gain.
you have to try and try for weeks on end to show that your not going anywhere and that you genuinely worship him for who he is.
once he settles in and realizes your treating him like some sort of god, or how people idolize and admire stain/all might with genuine love in your heart he short circuits for awhile.
he lays in your arms quietly as he feels you kiss around his body and tell him that he did such a good job, how handsome he is, how much you love him, how much you care and how much all you wanna do to him is..take care of him.
he'll try and push you off and say something along the lines of 'you're being annoying/stupid, cut it out' or he'll say something cocky, 'you really see me as a god or something, huh? that sounds about right for a king like me.'
once it genuinely sinks into all of him that your being real and not playing with him, it all goes to his head and his dick he becomes more cocky but whenever a plan fails he falls so much harder than he would've if you weren't around.
he loves your kisses and will sulk if you don't give him atleast 5 per 10 minutes like you usually do.
cup his face and shower him with kisses, praise, tell him how handsome he is as your cuteness aggression kicks in and you squeeze his cheeks like they're your life line.
head? blank. mind? off.
even though he becomes more cocky/egotistical, he still short circuits and shuts down for a moment because..what?
he doesn't know what he did to deserve you (besides being a gross ugly gamer boy who should go eat a cup noodle) but he definitely thinks it's because all his hardwork and dedication to master got you by his side.
please be patient with him, if he ever sees you upset with him he might actually go insane.
NSFW under the cut!
he loves getting a handjob from you while he suckles on your chest and you whisper sweet things,
he cums so fast when you hug him from behind, one hand stroking his cock and the other playing with his nipples and stroking his chest while you whisper praise into his ear and leave hickeys on his scarred neck or shoulders.
when you praise him, sometimes it just immediately gets him erect, even if you didn't say anything inherently sexual.
he will watch with eyes blown wide or barely open (depends on how long you've been going) as you suck his cock and treat him with utmost care.
yes he is a pillow prince.
he loves it when you treat him like a valuable jewel that could shatter at the slightest touch, your gentle squeezes, your slow and tender kisses, your praise, it all swirls in his head and makes him cum, even if it's just foreplay.
he loves the aftercare, when he's laying down on his stomach and a pillow on his chest as you carefully use wipes to clean his cock, makes him hard all over again.
the aftercare where you shower with him? now he's not sure, he'll say he can bathe himself yet the soft moans he lets out whenever you lather soap on his body or dig your fingers into his hair says he would rather have you bathe him.
cuddles, cuddles please. he needs that.
atleast an hour or 30 minutes of you cuddling him, petting him and telling him how good he did for you, he will sulk if he doesn't get this.
when he's the one mostly in control he's so rough and mean, well..as rough as a lanky twink can get.
he loves watching you cry for him or having you tell him how good you feel, goes straight to his cock.
tell him to go harder, faster, deeper or tell him you're about to cum quick, he loves it, he loves it all.
when your giving him oral, he will just straight up hump/facefuck you, he loves the adoring look in your eyes, it makes him so hard.
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—Ake 2024
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dizzycoffee · 9 months ago
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— Vox / Reader; Headcanons
been going crazy over mr. tv man ;;
*・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・ HEADCANONS ・*:.。..。.:*・゜゚・*
Before he met you, he didn't understand what the hype was about having a genuine, serious relationship
He's had many casual ones, aka a quick fuck, but anything serious? He believes it'll be too much for his public image AND because he simply has no time to commit to someone yk?
When he thinks it'd be nice to date you, he expects it all to be the same. So when he does ask you out, he's shocked when you initially reject him.
"Sorry, but I'm looking for something serious," you stated firmly. Vox blinked, clearly taken aback by your rejection. "Uh, wha— but I—" He buffered for a brief moment. "I mean, you said you prefer things casual, right?" You raised a brow at him. Vox nodded, "I... did." "Well, then I guess it wouldn't work out," you gave him a shrug.
At first, he was just confused because who would reject the CEO of VoxTek?? And so casually too?
You left him wondering why it even mattered if it was serious or not, for a long time — longer than he'd like to admit
I mean, sure, you seem much more interesting to get to know than simply having sex, and the idea of you staying long enough to greet him after a long day of work with many kisses and touches was... quite appealing.
It felt like it all happened overnight. One day he was content having whoever and for however long he wanted. The next, he went bluescreen at the idea of waking up beside you and getting to spend a long morning together where nothing else mattered but the two of you.
Whenever he went back to you, he didn't just ask you out, he confessed.
You watched him intently, eyes widening as he, reluctantly so, showed a fraction of his heart to you. "If it's okay with you, I would like to take you on a date. A proper one, of course," he said, voice low and a bit rough from the way he was straining himself. It was obvious he hadn't asked someone out in a serious manner in a good while. Gently smiling, you simply offer him a nod, making your heart swell as you see his eyes spark up with what you assumed to be hope.
Dating Vox is definitely a challenge at first, considering that he's more used to doing whatever he wants whenever he feels like it. At first, it's a challenge trying to get him to understand that your time and feelings are also valuable
It's also hard to manage his time in general considering how much work he puts in to his career and all
But it's all worth it at the end!!
He loves coming home to you, especially if you greet him at the door with longing kisses and hugs
After a long day at work, he loves to come home and have you either on his lap or simply in his arms
Getting to feel the warmth of your body at the palms of his claws is a feeling unlike any other
When it comes to the public, he is a bit hesitant still. Mainly because he fears that if people knew that you two were official and all, someone would try to use you for his downfall.
He'll keep things private, for the sake of your safety!!
Overall, it's a bit tough at first but he makes sure to let you know he truly loves you at the end of the day <3
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maxwell-grant · 29 days ago
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One thing I found interesting about Sofia's conversation with Sal is how she frames Oz telling her father about Sofia meeting with a reporter. It doesn't justify Oz's later actions, nor does it negate Sofia's grievances and anger, but it does interest me that for all her talk of helping the underclass of the Falcone Family she doesn't seem capable of processing the danger she put Oz in by having him take her to that meeting. Or, perhaps more accurately, she doesn't seem capable of processing that a driver would consider his life as valuable.
Even if she is partially manipulating Sal there, yeah. As I said in my Episode4 breakdown, even if it's not as prominent in the writer breakdowns of that moment, Oz was right to be scared shitless of what would have happened to him if Sofia kept digging around, or if anyone told Carmine that he was the one who drove her there to meet the reporter, even just Carmine finding out Sofia did something to displease him could have been enough to get Oz killed as punishment. If Carmine was willing to do what he did to his daughter, the future of the family, there was zero chance Oz wouldn't have been on the chopping block if literally anyone but Oz brought this to his attention. It's not like he didn't try to reach out to Sofia first and tell her how dangerous this was, and look at how that turned out for him.
Sofia even brings up on Episode 01 at their lunch, "If you hadn't gone to my father - He left you no choice". Now, obviously she does actually resent Oz for it, as she should, but she nominally does understand that Oz didn't do it solely because he wanted to rise up the ranks (even if that was undeniably part of it) and that there was self-preservation involved. But it doesn't matter that Oz wanted to save or improve his life, because Oz's life doesn't matter, certainly not to the extent that Sofia's reliance on him mattered.
Oz and Sofia care about the underprivileged and the downtrodden, and they genuinely care about those whose circumstances they share, but only so far, and mostly in service to their operations and to their self-mythologizing fueling them in their journeys, and the show never loses track of the ways Sofia's privilege affect her thinking - note that Sofia, for all that she talks about victims being neglected and forgotten, and for all that she does mean it, does not seem to extend that compassion to the Arkham patients - they were "monsters" she had to fight to get out of the dungeon her father put her in (Magpie simply being Arkham Oz, the annoying fake friend conspiring against her to the big bad in charge - if I had a nickel everytime a bird-themed Batman villain sold me out and so on).
I can't think of a Batman thing that is so thoroughly committed to class dynamics on a foundational level as this (and the movie also), and really any Penguin show would feel incomplete without it. And honestly, the end of Episode 3 even shows that, for all the awful things Sofia endured because Oz tattled on her, for all the resentment she holds towards him, for how much her body screams at her not to trust him, she was still sincerely willing to hear out his excuses and bury the hatchet and give him another chance - and of course it turns out that he actually did something infinitely worse and had been lying to her about it the entire time, which is par for the course with Oz. Every time he slips away from an impossible jam, he lands face first into another one.
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todorokistheories · 4 months ago
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Why I'll Never Forgive Endeavor - An Analysis
tw: abuse, domestic violence, dehumanization, and everything you expect to come with talking about the todorokis
Endeavor was right in calling Shouto a masterpiece, because that's all he ever was to him. Just a canvas to imprint whatever beliefs he had onto. Shouto was never made to be a person. He was made to be an object, an immovable force, something Endeavor can sculpt to his desire.
We see this through Shouto's demeanor. His inability to show emotions the way others do to that extreme of a level is usually a trauma response. He's purposefully blank, lest he face the wrath of Endeavor noticing the stain on his perfect painting.
Dabi even mentions this.
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Endeavor wasn't the only one who saw Shouto as a means to an end. Dabi did too. He calls Shouto a puppet and trophy son throughout the series genuinely does not seem to consider that he has feelings at all. He wants to break him, because Shouto was given the life he was promised, but he can't see past what Endeavor told him to be like class 1a did.
Dabi's plotline was never about reconciling with Shouto, it was about destroying everything Endeavor thought made him great.
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Endeavor controlled every moment of Shouto's life from the day he was born. Training, probably diet, every single second of every day was planned to expect max power and effort. He wanted a machine that he could show off, like fucking Tony Stark or some shit.
This is why when Midoriya says "it's your power," it's so impactful. He essentially told Shouto "you don't have to be what he made you to be." He was finally given permission to choose, something no one in his life (not even his mother) gave him. When you're a kid like that, you don't have the perspective that you can change. Midoriya believed that he could, so Shouto did.
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Shouto wanted his father to see him as valuable outside of what he could do for him. But he never gets that. That is why the ending is so important for Shouto.
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Shouto's arc is, at a base level, finding purpose outside of what his father expected.
You know who was given the freedom to do that from the get go?
Touya.
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Let's get into the meat of the issue. Endeavor genuinely cared about Touya. He gave him permission to be great. He told him that there is more to his life than being Endeavor's 'mini me' and that Endeavor would support him in what he'd pursue.
He didn't do this with Fuyumi or Natsuo, but I think at this point he would've been willing to care about them if they offered something he thought was valuable. Because at the end of the day, even if Touya wasn't going to be a hero, Endeavor believed he'd still do great things. That he would bring honor to their name.
Endeavor only started caring about how he treated his family once he saw what it did to Dabi. His wife's mental breakdown didn't do it. The disfiguration of his youngest didn't do it. Breaking his child down until all he was was just another puddle of vomit on the floor at the age of five didn't do it. Not even the death of his beloved child did it.
But seeing how he ruined Touya's potential did.
Endeavor's change only came from the knowledge that he was his own ruin. His apologies come from a place of selfishness and it destroyed his family.
The thing that both Shouto and Dabi had in common is that they both just wanted to be enough for Endeavor. And at the end of the day, and the manga, I truly don't think that was ever achieved.
And that is why I can never forgive Endeavor.
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padawansuggest · 6 months ago
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Okay so a lot of us make fun of Qui-Gon for giving Obi-Wan a stone for his birthday, and people seem split on it.
Some people think it shows true apathy towards him, and you know what? Fucking maybe. Sure. Whatever. The authors of those books smoked a lot of Qui-Child-Abandonment-Gon meth and you know what? Whatever.
But some of us like him to genuinely be a good master because guess fucking what else? I don’t care about him but Obi-Wan deserved a master who ADORED his sweet baby boy with all his codependent heart.
And you know what? We’re right too, because he eventually did get there.
Not what I’m here for I’m saying don’t fight me on this because both of us can be right.
But idk if this fact is canon or not but he told Obi-Wan that it was a force sensitive rock.
Why do people mock that aspect of it so much? So many of you say ‘lol nah he just gave the boy a rock’ no????? This entire series is built on force sensitive rocks??????
Kyber. Obvious.
Kyrat Dragon Pearls. They can literally be used as a kyber replacement in a lightsaber, they are THAT powerful.
In the Star Wars Visions episode Journey to the Dark Head, we see a temple of Jedi where seers are sent. They have a courtyard full of head sized round flat stones. When it rains, you pick them up, and certain ones will give you vivid visions of the future. The seers then read the vision out to a keeper who writes down each vision they can while it’s still raining. This happens on a sibling temple.
Star Wars Young Jedi Adventures: there was an episode where one of the main characters, Ky, goes into the forest with another child to finish a small mission. Obviously it’s a lesson in learning to work together, but the point is that they have to find a lantern that’s not glowing, and figure out what to do to get the lantern to glow again. None of these lanterns have a source of electricity, and they can’t be solar powered since they’re in a forest so dense that these lanterns are used regularly to keep the paths lit. As it turns out, they have a chunk of crystal inside, the side of one of their heads, and they both need to work together to make the crystal glow again. That was an obviously force sensitive crystal.
Same show, The Mystery of Opal Cave, in which the main characters stop pirates stealing a bunch of valuable opals from a planet. At the end of the episode, the natives show them what makes the Opal so valuable to them. They touch two opals together, it creates a ringing sound, and in turn, the previously dark cave lights up and all of them start to glow and sing. That was magic af don’t tell me real rocks do that they Do Not.
That fuckass rudesss cave on Mortis that gave everyone weird ass mean dreams and was full of giant crystals. Obviously they projected rudeass force visions meant solely to hurt me feewings.
There are probably a hundred more types I’m forgetting rn. Because. I’m literally just going off the cartoons and a bit of the video games. There are a LOT of force sensitive rocks, they do a lot of weird things.
Now. With that in mind. In an AU where Qui-Gon adored and doted on and loved Obi-Wan from the start (or even just what it likely was in canon, a thoughtful but maybe not adoring gift) he likely would have given Obi-Wan this force sensitive river rock without even realizing it’s abilities.
Let them keep that parent to child connection, I promise, it means a lot.
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acescorazon · 2 months ago
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Changes
Chapter: 15
Title: Some extra help
Rating: M
Word Count: 3222
Warnings: None
Chapter Excerpt:
“I suppose It’d be best if I continued training the recruits then. Even if we don’t find ourselves in the middle of a fight right away, it’s always better to be prepared.” Mihawk says before he pauses and quietly adds, “When I’m not working with our men, I’ll help Buggy with organizing our upcoming trip.” 
“Huh?” Crocodile and Buggy exclaim comically at the same time. Clearly they’re both confused by the fact that Mihawk just volunteered to help Buggy. Mihawk isn’t lazy, per se, he just can’t be bothered to do much of anything most of the time. Then again, he’s more like the silent knight of the group, so it’s never mattered if he didn’t plan things out or helped much. Even Buggy can tell that he’s here more or less to help fight. 
Mihawk nods his head in response to the shocked reactions he received, “I’ll help out provided the work doesn’t become too troublesome. We wouldn’t want any more mishaps, would we?” He asks. Well, no… They wouldn’t, but still. Buggy didn’t expect any help, he expected Crocodile to just watch him like a hawk while he got everything ready for their trip to Prickly Pear Island instead, actually.
|Ch1|Ch2|Ch3|Ch4|Ch5|Ch6|Ch7|Ch8|Ch9|Ch10|Ch11|Ch12||Ch13||Ch14||
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It’s kind of funny, but not in a ha-ha way, how eating, taking a bath, and having a goodnight’s rest can make one feel ten times better. Well, that, as well as a promised truce with two of the scariest men alive. Buggy’s still not sure whether or not he can trust Crocodile and Mihawk, but he’ll just have to wait and find out if they’re being genuine or not, won’t he? 
God, if this is all just one long-winded trick, he swears he’ll have (another) breakdown.
He’s on his way to the meeting room, when suddenly one of his men stops him. Now, Buggy isn’t exactly thrilled about having to attend another one of Cross Guild’s meetings, especially after all this time, but he more or less has to go even though he’s dreading it, and he doesn’t want to be late for obvious reasons. However, his faithful lackey starts burning up his valuable time by rambling on and on about pointless things, but also sprinkling in praises for Buggy here and there.  Amongst his endless chatter, he says something that catches Buggy’s attention, though: 
“Did you hear that Red-haired Shanks is going after the One Piece, Chairman Buggy?” 
Shanks is going after the one piece…? Why now, he wonders. “Who the hell cares?!” Buggy asks, scoffing loudly. “It’s not like that idiot is actually going to find it and become king of the pirates.” But what if he does….? Buggy shakes the thought out of his head, and then gasps when he realizes he’s going to be late for his meeting if he doesn’t hurry the hell up. “Shit. I gotta go!” He says before hurrying on his way, waving to his confused subordinate as he flees the scene.
Cross Guild’s first official meeting in weeks starts off rather well, actually. Buggy manages to show up on time, despite waking up late and then getting pulled into a lengthy conversation with one of his men, but he’s still somehow the last one to the meeting. He thinks that Mihawk and Crocodile will give him shit for that fact alone, but they don’t…
Once Buggy takes his place at the meeting table, Crocodile stands from his seat and reads his notes from their last meeting, and Buggy’s kind of glad that he does that because he had forgotten all about their last meeting. There was something with an island…or something. He doesn’t remember. 
“Now on to Prickly Pear Island.” 
Oh, right, Crocodile wanted to seize power of a desert island. Jeez, Buggy still isn’t sure how he feels about Crocodile’s plans right now, but he supposes it doesn’t matter in the end. Crocodile will always do what he wants, and Buggy will have to accept that. It’s not like he’s the true leader of this group anyways.
Buggy tries to pay attention as best as he can, but he quickly grows weary from all of Crocodile’s talking. He has to admit that it’s rather impressive how dedicated Crocodile is to his craft and how much time and effort he’s put into planning the takeover of this particular desert kingdom, but everything is so boring…
A thirty-minute recap followed by Crocodile going on and on about ancient weapons leaves Buggy zoning out completely. He just can’t find a single thing to care about. Ancient weapons and a utopia, why would he care about any of those things? All he’s ever wanted in his life was treasure, not to run an army or go toe to toe with the world government. He glances over at Mihawk, who’s staring intently at Crocodile, but there’s no way he actually cares about Crocodile’s bullshit plans either. He’s probably learned how to sleep with his eyes open or something. 
Almost instantly, Mihawk looks over at Buggy, startling said man. Buggy quickly averts his gaze to the front of the room, where Crocodile is giving his speech, and pretends that he’s actually paying attention to their meeting when he really couldn't care less. 
Soon, Buggy finds himself daydreaming about the days of his youth again, and of his former crew. He doesn’t regret the path he took, but… Technically, Crocodile and Mihawk are part of his crew now, and they bring a weird seriousness that he isn’t used to. He’s used to life as a pirate being easy and carefree, like it was when he was a child or even before Cross Guild formed. Sure, there was the occasional tense moment here or there while out on the sea, but nothing like this. 
Buggy glances at a nearby newspaper and spots a familiar face, then frowns. Seriously? You’re going after the one piece now, you dumbass? It really took you twenty-four years to realize you wanted to be king of the pirates? He thinks bitterly. And of course you’re going after it without me, aren’t you, Shanks? God, you’re so annoying. 
If only Shanks had taken over for Roger like he was always supposed to. If only he had fought to stay together instead of letting Buggy leave… Then maybe Buggy wouldn’t be here with Mihawk and Crocodile. Buggy doesn’t understand how he went from being in a crew with his best friend and having the time of his life every day, to being in a crew with two men that he hates more than anything and constantly being miserable. 
“Buggy.” Crocodile calls out, clicking his tongue. Buggy instantly snaps out of his thoughts the moment he hears Crocodile’s cold, deep voice calling him out. Crap, crap, crap. Crocodile caught him zoning out, and now he’s going to beat him up, isn’t he? Buggy knew that he couldn’t trust Crocodile, he fucking knew i–  
“Take notes for us.” Crocodile orders with a sigh, putting a piece of paper and a pen in front of Buggy. Oh. Oh, fun… He thinks as he tries to get his head together and calm his nerves a little. 
“Anyways, despite some inner turmoil amongst us three, Cross Guild is thriving.” Crocodile announces, which is something they all already knew. The government is weary of them, and they seem to gain dozens of new recruits every week, and Buggy doesn’t think any of that’ll change any time soon. “However… if Cross Guild is to continue to grow and be successful, we’ll need more money, a lot more money.”
“We’ll also need to increase Cross Guild’s power as well.” Mihawk adds as he speaks up for the first time since the meeting started.
Right, right. Money, lots of money and power, Buggy thinks as he listens to Crocodile mention how much money as well as men he expects that they’ll be able to rake in if they successfully take over Prickly Pear Island. He scribbles down Crocodile’s words messily, trying to keep up with Crocodile’s rambling. 
Buggy briefly glances over at that same newspaper again. He feels a surge of bitterness swell up in his chests at that very moment as he looks at a picture of his supposed best friend on the front page of the newspaper. Why now? He thinks yet again. Why not when we were younger? You’re going after the one piece, and you didn’t even tell me… Does our friendship really mean that little to you?
“Anyways. The plan stays the same: We’re going to take a brief trip to check things out in person at Prickly pear island before we make any long term plans or try a full-blown take-over.” Crocodile states, “Buggy, I’ll leave the organizing to you.” He says, and Buggy’s honestly not at all surprised, but he does wonder what the other two will be doing. 
“I suppose It’d be best if I continued training the recruits then. Even if we don’t find ourselves in the middle of a fight right away, it’s always better to be prepared.” Mihawk says before he pauses and quietly adds, “When I’m not working with our men, I’ll help Buggy with organizing our upcoming trip.” 
“Huh?” Crocodile and Buggy exclaim comically at the same time. Clearly they’re both confused by the fact that Mihawk just volunteered to help Buggy. Mihawk isn’t lazy, per se, he just can’t be bothered to do much of anything most of the time. Then again, he’s more like the silent knight of the group, so it’s never mattered if he didn’t plan things out or helped much. Even Buggy can tell that he’s here more or less to help fight. 
Mihawk nods his head in response to the shocked reactions he received, “I’ll help out provided the work doesn’t become too troublesome. We wouldn’t want any more mishaps, would we?” He asks. Well, no… They wouldn’t, but still. Buggy didn’t expect any help, he expected Crocodile to just watch him like a hawk while he got everything ready for their trip to Prickly Pear Island instead, actually.
“Hawkeye…” Buggy says slowly as he cautiously picks out his next words. “You… You don’t find the idea of helping me get the men, boats, and supplies ready rather…tedious?” He asks, hoping that Mihawk won’t somehow get angry at Buggy for questioning him.
Mihawk turns and looks at Buggy for a moment, “No. It’s really not much of a problem for me.” He insists, “In fact, I’ve been rather bored lately and need something to keep me entertained.” So, he wants to help Buggy prepare for their trip?  
Buggy blinks, “Oh…Okay,..” He mutters, glancing at Crocodile quickly. He notices right away how Crocodile still seems so shocked about Mihawk’s proclamation. Crocodile looks like his eyes are going to go flying out of his skull, and it’s actually kind of funny, but then he quickly shakes his head, “Yeah, okay… That works for me,” He mutters. “I’ll continue to gather intel and…” He pauses and looks at Mihawk. “Are you…? Never mind. I’ll continue to gather intel and see if there are any people or specific places of interest we might need to look out for. Meeting dismissed.”
What another weird meeting, Buggy thinks as he gets up from his seat and then hands Crocodile the notes he took during the meeting before quickly scurrying away like a cockroach once the lights have been turned on. 
Buggy’s surprised that Crocodile didn’t go through with his plan earlier. Sure, he was having problems with Mihawk and Buggy, but Buggy assumed Crocodile would get everything in order and then sail to Prickly pear island without the other two, but he didn’t for whatever reason. So, the responsibility of preparing the men, ships, and gathering supplies over the upcoming days or weeks falls on Buggy’s shoulders once again. 
Buggy probably would have had this all done weeks ago if things between Cross Guild didn’t become so chaotic, but it is what it is. He mainly focuses on making sure everyone is up-to-date before he checks out their ships. Buggy heaves a sigh, he still doesn’t have as many ships as he used to or would like to. Most of their ships couldn’t be salvaged after the attack from the Marines, but… There’s still their mighty flagship, of course, but Buggy’s not sure what to do with it. Will Crocodile and Mihawk even step foot on this thing? He wonders with another sigh.
Buggy stands on the docks and in front of the massive circus themed vessel, wondering if it’s too late to have a new one designed and sent to the island, that way his men can’t mess up another ship and land him into some serious hot water. Just as he has that thought, though, he hears faint footsteps approaching him. He looks over his shoulder just in time to notice Mihawk approaching him. Oh, great, he was serious when he said he was going to help out… Buggy thinks. 
“She’ll have to do,” Mihawk says, almost as if he can read Buggy’s mind. Can he? God, Buggy hopes Hawkeye can’t read his mind, or else that would be really awkward. “To be honest, I don’t even think we need a ship this big if Crocodile just wants to check out an island,” He adds, standing beside Buggy, “But I just know that Crocodile will want to ride in luxury, so she’ll have to do.” Yeah, Mihawk’s probably right, Buggy begrudgingly thinks. 
“I also think it would be rather impractical to bring the whole island on what I assume will be a small trip,” Mihawk notes, “But traveling could be dangerous now that the government knows about Cross Guild. What we’ll do is split our men in half. Half will come with us and the other half will stay and guard the island, just in case.”  
Buggy nods in response, but he secretly hates how he agrees with everything that Mihawk is saying, however he’s also glad to have Mihawk’s decisiveness while they get everything in order for their trip. “In the meantime, we’ll order more ships. I also assume that Crocodile is serious about taking over this island, so we better prepare ahead, that way he has nothing to complain about.” 
“Yeah, that sounds good to me,” Buggy replies. 
Mihawk places a gentle hand on Buggy’s shoulder, and Buggy freezes. A rush of shock, panic, adrenaline, and some other fourth thing washes over Buggy at that moment as he tries to figure out what the hell is going on. “Come on, let’s get to work,” Mihawk orders softly before he heads toward the island. Buggy stares at Mihawk’s broad shoulders and back for a moment, then quickly runs after the other man.
The two of them end up walking around the island as they try to figure out who they want to take along with them and who they want to leave behind. For once, Mihawk is the one who’s doing most of the talking, while Buggy listens and overthinks their earlier interaction. Mihawk’s touch was so random yet… gentle. Why’d he even touch him in the first place, was it some kind of weird mistake? How can it be a mistake, though?  Mihawk isn’t the touchy type… Is he? 
Buggy tries to focus on the task at hand and figure out how they’ll divide their men for their upcoming mission. However, he can feel the ghost of Mihawk’s touch lingering on his shoulder, and it’s bothering him. He realizes that all Mihawk did was touch his shoulder, but this is a man who has only ever been aggressive with him. It was just a light touch and  it caught Buggy off guard, but he didn’t hate it, weirdly enough… He just thinks it’s weird coming from Mihawk. 
Why is he even thinking about something so trivial?
After they decide who will go where, they head to the armory to count their weapons. It’s been a while since their last shipment of weapons came in, and they quickly realize that they’ll probably have to buy more weapons, since they’ve only gained more recruits over the last several weeks. Buggy still doesn’t like being in the armory while Mihawk is around, but he realizes that if MIhawk were going to go after him with any weapon, it’d probably be his own sword and not any of the ones surrounding them. 
They quickly finish counting up all the weapons that they have stored in the armory and afterwards Mihawk glances over at Buggy, “I think we should order a couple dozen more swords, just in case. Maybe some guns as well.” He suggests. Buggy nods. This entire time, Buggy has remained completely cooperative. For once, he doesn't have any objections to what Mihawk is saying, so he mainly just nods and follows the other man's lead. Part of him wishes Mihawk would just take over completely, so Buggy can go be lazy, but he knows that's just wishful thinking. 
A few minutes later, Mihawk gets up from where he’s sitting and stretches, “Alright, I think we can move on,” he says as he heads towards the door, “Good job.” He murmurs. His praise leaves Buggy scratching his head.
… Good Job?
Buggy gives Mihawk another confused look behind his back before he follows after him. Good job? He wonders why he got praised for such a trivial task, or in general. Buggy didn’t even really do anything, he just sat on the floor and counted weapons, but he doesn’t question anything. Still, Mihawk’s praise lingers at the back of his mind for just a moment too long.
Food and medicine comes next, and after a quick check of their food and medical supply, Mihawk and Buggy find themselves sitting next to each other in the cafeteria. It’s a bit weird, but Mihawk was the one who sat next to Buggy first. He tries not to think too much about it, after all, they’ll probably only be in this position for ten minutes tops while they make their shopping list.  That’s what he thinks, at least, until he realizes that they need more supplies than he thought. Not just for their trip but for the island in general.
Mihawk somehow remembers exactly what they need, even though there's a lot, and Buggy does his best to scribble down said items as quickly as possible, finding this one of the more boring tasks of the day. “That’s not how you spell ‘Mackerel’, Buggy,” Mihawk points out, and Buggy’s face flushes slightly. 
“I know that!” Buggy insists, “... But how do you spell it?” he asks, turning to look at Mihawk. It’s then when he realizes just how close Mihawk is at that moment. Buggy could have sworn there was a good distance between them when they first sat down, but now Mihawk is close, unnecessarily close as he watches Buggy write.
Mihawk chuckles, which only adds to Buggy’s confusion, before he tells Buggy how to properly spell that pesky fish’s name. Buggy shakes his head and quickly writes down what Mihawk tells him before he goes back to writing their list, trying not to focus on how little personal space Mihawk is allowing him right now. 
Buggy starts picking up on the smaller things, like how Mihawk’s voice is strangely soft while he speaks and how he’ll occasionally squeeze Buggy’s forearm when he realizes Buggy’s spelled something wrong or forgotten to add something to the list. He’ll also smile at Buggy any time Buggy looks at him, and it always makes Buggy look away quickly and think: ‘What the fuck?!’ 
Worse of all, Buggy realizes that he’s not exactly bothered by any of this like he should be. He’s weirdly nervous, actually. Not the type of nervous he usually is, though. Usually, when he’s around Mihawk or Crocodile he constantly feels like he might be on thin ice and moments away from being drop-kicked, but this is different. Extremely different. 
“How about we have dinner together tonight?” Mihawk suddenly suggests, catching Buggy off guard, again. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Yeah, it has been but, their last dinner was… Well, it was pretty okay, all things considered. It still wasn’t the best dinner Buggy’s ever had, though. “We could have a nice quiet dinner in my tent like last time.”
“Will you be inviting Crocodile to join us?” Buggy asks, trying to act as nonchalant as possible.
Mihawk pauses before he finally gives Buggy a response, “No, I don’t think I will.”
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animezin-ph · 3 months ago
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Wind Breaker Analysis: People's Judgement
TRIGGER WARNING
This post may contain triggering words. Please read with caution. If you are feeling uneasy, you may choose to stop reading this post.
SPOILER ALERT
This post may include some minor spoilers.
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"Did I assume?..."
"...That nobody would ever look at me like that?"
For the first time in his life, Sakura Haruka has experienced the feeling of acceptance and warmth.
2 Types of Judgement
Sometimes, we never realize that we end up judging people. No, not the kind of "being mean" or extreme negative criticism kind of judgement like how Sakura was judged in his old hometown, but the kind of judgement where we judge that other people won't accept us.
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Root Cause
What's the root cause of the second type of judgement?
Trauma. Pain. Suffering.
When we come from a place of hurt, we develop and manifest a form of anger, and sometimes fear, towards other people. Thus, judging them.
Anger
Sakura showed anger. Lots of it.
The anger is, in a way, suppressed hurt from the fact that people shun us and reject us to an extreme.
We get angry at these people which can lead us to feel anger towards new people as well, because we end up assuming that nobody would treat us right, and that everyone is the same.
We have all the right to feel anger, because we were wronged.
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Fear
For fear, Sakura showed less of it and more on anger. But his fears manifested in many other ways.
The fear also stems from the past trauma.
We end up fearing "the unknown" in people. Our mind thinks of the worst-case scenarios with these people and connects it to our past trauma.
"Oh no, everything is going to repeat. These new people will hate me as well."
"Oh no, doing things for others never end well"
These new people, including the past people, will be perceived as threats. Guilty until proven innocent.
Then, it's final, we close ourselves off.
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How to feel love again
There's only one way to feel love again:
it's to open up to people who do show genuine love.
This is obviously not as easy as it sounds. You WILL be on guard, and that's okay.
But there will be people, who will one day come into your life, and show you that they care about you. They will give you patience and kindness. This will be a warm feeling you've never felt before. Just like Sakura with the people in the new town and in Furin High.
Of course, people who have been hurt and traumatized in the past will be hard up in opening themselves up again, and that's alright. Because the people who will love you will understand this.
They will understand you.
All you have to do is give them a chance.
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If you or you know someone who is struggling with trauma or any other mental health issues, it is important to seek help from friends, family, professionals, or any emotional support system. Remember, you are not alone and there is always help available.
I'd Love to hear your thoughts! If you feel like you've related to this post or if you've noticed other mental health themes in the anime, drop a comment below or reblog and let's discuss!
If you enjoyed this post, feel free to leave a follow for more valuable insights and analyses on your favorite anime!
- Fuegio from Animezin PH
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amuseoffyre · 1 year ago
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I saw a comment on S2 along the lines of "I don't see why they brought in Ricky/The British as bad guys". As if the British empire hasn't been the big threat since 1x01. The Badmintons represent the empire's lesser sons. Ricky is a similar thing, but escalating.
It's not overtly said in the show, but the entire empire and colonialism is the villain. We have crews of various kinds of disenfranchised people - Frenchie (was in service), Olu (implicitly from a maroon community), Buttons (Scots), Wee John (Northern Irish).
And then we have the Queen Anne - Ed's background is woven with the history and legacy of the British school system in his Māori mother's dialogue. Izzy is a working class northern man with the scars of flogging on his back. Also Samoan Fang and south Asian Ivan.
In 1x01, we see how the British upper classes treat people they consider their "lessers". Everything they say about Stede's crew speaks measures for the views of the empire: colourful, savages, slave. The gratification of seeing them immediately punished is *so* strong.
We also see how they treat anyone who doesn't fit into the specific boxes they have assigned to people. Stede is a target of their scorn, violence and mockery and has been since childhood, despite the fact he should - on the surface - fit in with them as a rich white man.
While Chauncey's vendetta against Stede is his primary motive for hunting him, prestige, rank and station are more valuable to Wellington and Hornberry. They defy their commanding officer to elevate themselves when they have Blackbeard take the Act of Grace. It's all about empire - dining with King George himself.
Which brings me around to Ricky. He's a lesser son - like the Badmintons - but also he is the empire incarnate, a minor Prince from the royal family, with Daddy running the treasury. He wants what he sees Stede having. He thinks he can just walk in and take it. When he fails - and is punished - he doesn't grow and learn from it like Stede does.
While Stede willingly gives up everything to be true to himself, Ricky immediately goes running back to cling to the imperial apron strings and uses the wealth, prestige and his name - and royal ties - to bring the wrath of the empire down on the Republic as a whole.
He wants, so he takes. If he can't have, he will destroy. Even after he's demolished everything, he tells himself "well, I beat all the other pirates, so that makes me the best pirate" because he genuinely believes that. He doesn't see them as equals to him. They are to be controlled and beaten by him. We see it from his first scene, referring to the pirates as "rubes", saying that he and Stede are better than the other people in the Republic & telling Stede he wasn't good at what he did.
For him, this is just a game where he controls all the pieces. Much like the British empire did - do what you like for fun & profit & kill anyone who gets in the way.
The threat of the empire has always been there, right from the beginning. The Act of Grace was the first royal step to quash piracy. Ricky was Act 2. We're into the final confrontation now, building steam to the fall of the Golden Age and the end of piracy as it was.
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stvrchaser · 2 years ago
Note
jay kelso when his parents stop him from seeing you like kitty and red did leia 🤭
a rebel at heart
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( note ) : hey! thanks for the request! i had a lot of fun writing this and i hope it lives up to your expectations. i really tried to go for that light-hearted summer romance vibe. i wanted to match the sit-com feel too. i threw in some sarcasm to make it seem genuine. enjoy!!
p.s. sorry if any of the paragraphs repeat below the cut. i’ve been having the same issue for months but nothing i do seems to fix it
( pairing ) : jay kelso x reader
( words ) : 1335
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You know, logically, that ten feet is nothing compared to the three-hundred foot block you just walked in the sweltering heat. But looking down at that distance, from a slanted roof and the hard ground at your feet…
Well. That changes a few things.
Jay broke his arm over the weekend trying to do some crazy stunt off a cliff. It was supposed to be a fun date — a picnic setup by the edge, overlooking the water, and a boom box stereo blaring your favorite songs. It was supposed to be great. And it was great, until it wasn’t.
In hindsight, you really shouldn’t have taken him to that spot, but the summer heat had limited your options. Going to a park didn’t sound so appealing when the sun could bore holes into your clothes, the woods would have had mosquitoes feasting on you two within seconds, and the community pool would have been too crowded on a day like that.
So what better plan than to have that date on a quiet, secluded, cool cliff side?
So what better plan than to have that date on a quiet, secluded, cool cliff side?
You didn’t think your boyfriend, even with his flair of dramatics, would land you in the ER by the end of it. But, hey. Like he said, “At least this isn’t a date we’ll forget.”
It was memorable, that’s for sure. If only it hadn’t gotten you two banned from seeing each other for the next week. Well, that was a bit of a stretch. You believe their exact words were, “Jay, you’re not allowed to leave the house for the next week.” It wasn’t a punishment, per se. More of a “valuable life lesson,” Jackie called it. She, Micheal, and Jay looked a little horrified as she’d said it. You guessed this didn’t happen very often.
Jay was, for lack of a better term, grounded. You think it’s really just to keep him from straining his arm — or worse, breaking the other one — so you respected his parents’ wishes. Jay, you’re not allowed to leave the house for the next week. At no point did you hear that you couldn’t come over.
So, here you are, sneaking into his bedroom window. Aren’t you just the epitome of romance? It would be a whole lot more romantic if you didn’t slip off the roof and die.
“Jay,” you whisper, tapping his window. The urgency in your voice, or maybe just hearing your voice at all, forced him upright. It’s not too late but being grounded left him with nothing to do. No TV, no computer, no Nate, and no girlfriend. The horror. You guess he opted in for sleeping early. The light of his bedside table keeps the room dimly lit and you can just make out the silhouette of him. He turns in bed, surprised.
“Y/N?” You watch him kick the covers off, his arm still wrapped in a sling. He seems to have forgotten with all the excitement because he winces when he opens the window with his uninjured arm like he’d tried to use it too.
“Easy, tiger.” It strays from your long list of nicknames, but Jay doesn’t seem to mind. He’s got that grin that makes the world slow, like you’ve got all the time in the universe and you’re lucky enough to spend it with him. Granted, it’s the same look he gave you right before he jumped off that cliff and did that incredibly stupid flip, but you’re very much in love with him. That comes with a pass, doesn’t it?
You’ve barely made it halfway through the window when he pulls you in for a kiss. You can feel him smile into it.
“Your parents must hate me if they’re keeping me away from this,” you whisper, savoring the moment.
“My parents love you,” he says obliviously. He seems a little dazed, a little slow to pick up on the humor in your tone.
“Yeah, they do,” you admit. “It’s still not fair. I missed you.”
“How do you think I feel?”
“Wanna tell me about it?”
“You know I’m not too good with words.”
“Show me, then.”
He pulls you away from the window, going in for another kiss. But then he notices the way you visibly relax the further away you are from the window.
“You took me to a cliff. Don’t tell me you’re scared of heights.” He’s teasing, but there’s genuine curiosity in his voice.
“I’m scared of giving your parents a reason to hate me. We’re basically on probation, Jay.”
“See? This is why they love you. You actually care about their rules.” He plants a kiss on your cheek.
“You don’t?”
“What can I say? I’m a rebel at heart.”
You have to laugh a little. He sounds so smug, so genuinely confident in that statement. You almost don’t want to ruin it. Almost.
“You don’t think so?”
“No, you definitely have a rebellious streak. It’s just… don’t you think there are better words to describe you?”
“Oh yeah? Like what?” His tone sounds suggestive, expecting some sort of praise you refuse to give him just yet.
“Well, personally, I think ‘princess’ suits you better than ‘rebel.’”
“Princess?”
“Locked up in your tower, your knight in shining armor coming to save you… I’d say it fits.” You’re kneeling on his bed, fingers running through his hair while his hand taps an absentminded beat against your waist.
“Oh, you think you’re the knight?” he asks, challenging you. There’s a glint of mischief in his eyes, visible even in the dark.
“I’m here to save you from boredom, aren’t I?” You don’t mention that saving him from boredom conveniently satisfies your boredom too. He figures it out, anyway.
“Hm, are we sure it’s not the other way around?”
“Nope. I don’t think so.” You shake your head, face determined to keep this joke up. “But, you know, if I was wrong in assuming that you missed me, I can leave. I wouldn’t want to intrude on your alone ti—“
“No!” You start to turn around, heading for the window. His arm instinctively reaches to stop you, but not before he practically yells for you. It forces you to turn back, eyes wide, slapping a hand over his mouth to muffle whatever else he was trying to say. You shush him, listening for the creak of a door or incoming footsteps.
When you’re sure nobody had heard, you throw a punch at his shoulder.
“They could have heard you!” You were half whispering and yelling, careful not to raise your voice but eager to get him to comply. It’s nothing serious. There’s more thrill to your voice than anxiousness.
“You were going to leave!”
“Buttercup, I was just messing with you.” You hold his face in your hands, squeezing his cheeks as he rolls his eyes. There’s a childishness about him, about what you two have, that heals something in you. Like a long-forgotten memory where all that’s left is the way it makes you feel. And, damn it, nobody’s ever made you feel like this.
“You’re so funny. How about we don’t do it again?” He squeezes your wrist but doesn’t try to pry you off. If anything, he seems to want to keep you right where you are.
“Whatever you say, princess.” He groans.
“Oh, no. Is that gonna stick?”
“Only if you want it to. I’m your knight, aren’t I? I think obeying royalty is in my job description.” He smiles, not entirely unhappy with the prospect of that idea.
“Well, when you put it like that…” It makes you laugh, how easily he warms to the thought.
“Like I said, you make a very convincing princess. Pretty face, pretty hair. Rapunzel’s got nothing on you.” You sit beside him, pushing tousled hair from his eyes and watching the corners of his mouth turn to a smile. He leans into your touch, broken arms and summer heat forgotten.
You take note that he doesn’t make any effort to protest after that.
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usernamesuggestionsarefunny · 9 months ago
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Possibly unpopular opinion (Or perhaps not idk): I love what they have done with Zuko and Ozai's relationship in the live action Netflix Avatar show.
In the cartoon we never get the ~vibes~ that Zuko has a complicated relationship with his father, only that it is abusive and one-sided in the sense only Zuko craves Ozai's approval, while Ozai straight up hates him, wants him dead or has no problem with him dying (Why doesn't he kill him if he has Azula? We don't know, plot has to happen, he sent Zuko to find the avatar in order to get rid of him, probably, or actually canon idk or remember), clearly prefers Azula to him as successor, etc, etc, etc (+ later the comics literally overkilled this trend "she was born lucky while..." omg stfu). Zuko is basically the perfect character to prove the fire nation is not all evil (Oh look, they hate him too, he is inherently their victim too from the very beginning).
So when Zuko switches sides in the cartoon, what I see as an adult rewatching is someone giving up on luxory, physical safety and... that is pretty much it. Sure it is a big deal to give up on those things to do what is right (Few would) and still awesome that he did the right thing in the end, but if you really think about it, he is not giving up that much, he is not giving up anything truly valuable to him. Respect? Honor? Sure he is said to have received it back after Azula "killed" Aang, but we never truly see it. For all intents and purposes his sister has that and wayyy more of it. His father's love and acceptance? Never had it, so he didn't truly "loose it" when he spoke up for those soldiers, got the scar and was banished, it is not really shown to have suddenly popped into existence when he was said to have killed the avatar. He literally had nothing in the fire nation, literally nothing. This could only make "doing the right thing" a lot easier for him, and for the adult audience (At least for me), his arc is just him realizing what is almost irritatingly obvious for us: That no one in the fire nation truly loves and respects him so might as well switch sides (Basically if we weren't also shown that Zuko is compassionate and does care about the horrible things the fire nation is doing, Ember Island Players would have gotten a bit of truth in it).
Now, in the live action, where do I even start? It has been so good so far when it comes to Ozai and Zuko. That man, if he hated Zuko in a cartoonishly evil way almost from birth, he sure doesn't show it. Don't get me wrong, he is just as abusive (Creepily so in many scenes, made me feel so protective of Zuko and Azula), but he is also shown to "care" about Zuko as in having some hope left that he can mold him into another powerful genocidal mini me. Is Azula winning by far? Ofc, she is still the prodigy, I am sure I am going to see flashbacks of favoritism later on. But Ozai doesn't yet seem to favor her in a way that makes Zuko's craving for his approval (Or even Ozai's hope in him as heir) hopeless. It seems, from his scenes with Azula, that Ozai foments the rivalry and competition between the two siblings not only because he personally thinks Azula is the best (Which he also might in this version), but also as a way of control through fear (Especially for prodigy Azula), and to make them (Especially comparatively weaker Zuko) "better", something this version of Ozai appears to think is possible EVEN when he banishes Zuko. Now, he might have done this "to get rid of him" as in the original, but in the live action he seems super open to and genuinely believe the idea that the exile could make Zuko stronger and better, not to mention worthy of the throne if he succeeds. Ozai treats Zuko like the heir despite favoring Azula is all I am saying. Zuko's actions are therefore almost impossible, yes, but not hopeless or even naive. And if this trend of Ozai's respect and "love" (Super on quotes) being achievable continues, Zuko's eventual turn to the good side will be much more powerful. He will have to give up much more after spending a summer with his abusive parent love bombing him for "killing" the avatar. Zuko's choice will be solely based on his findings about the horrors the fire nation has committed and not wanting to be the cause of more suffering even though he could have it all. Even though it was his fate to be his father's "mini me"-> Something terrifyingly likely and not so quickly discarded by the narrative itself as it was in the animated series.
I think the best part about this subtle change in the father-son dynamic (If it was the intention of the writers, I am aware it could have been unintended) is that the scar tm was a direct result of Zuko's compassion for those soldiers and not just the excuse Ozai used to banish him or "final straw" because he preferred Azula sooo much more, as it is pretty much implied later on in the animated series and comics by focusing so much on how much of a perfect victim Zuko was pretty much from birth. The addition of the 41st surviving because of Zuko was also pretty nice, and so is Zuko's relationship with them, he will need fire nation allies when he gets to the throne and this is a good start, something the animated series never touched upon much.
I am on episode 6 btw so my opinion might change. I will edit this post if that is the case. BUT my thoughts on these first scenes doesn't change, they are good imho
EDIT (And spoilers): I just watched Zhao’s revelation where he tells Zuko that Ozai would never let him return and he just wanted to use him to motivate Azula. It does change things and invalidates most of what I said, but taking out just this one scene, as I said, the Ozai-Zuko dynamic is great in this show, and also, Zhao is obviously not the most reliable source, because he was allied to Azula and obviously wanted to hurt Zuko, as he was losing the fight with him. There is also the fact that Azula wasn't watching Ozai and Zuko when Ozai told his son that he was being banished and that it was in part so he could get stronger etc, that was all for Zuko and had little way of serving as motivation for Azula (Unlike the scenes where Ozai praises Zuko in front of her, those could have totally been him bullshitting his daughter to motivate her to work even harder). So all in all this scene doesn't ruin the overall impression I had of the Ozai-Zuko father-son dynamic in the life action show. In fact, it could be taken to confirm one of my impressions which was that Ozai likes pitying his children against each other to push them harder.
EDIT 2: Ozai's reaction to Zuko's possible death is further proof imo that his “test” was very much real (even if almost impossible) and everything I said earlier still stands. He wouldn't mind that much if he died, it would just prove his “weakness”, and he is very pleased with Azula, but he didn't look happy or even indifferent when he learned the news.
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