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askinkiskarma · 1 year ago

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OK LET S DO THIS I SHOULD BE WORKING BUT I'D RATHER BE READING MY BABY'S WORK <33333

I’M obsessed with this already, it’s so beautiful and descriptive, I can picture it perfectly in my head and it sets the scene so well!!!!

The ground served as a reminder of how much longer you had to run until you reached the safe confines of the Omitikaya clan.

I love this sentence. It just tickles my brain right

He looked like an angel–like a celestial being sent straight from Ewya’s heart and into your eyesight. Though you have never seen an angel, Norm described them as ethereal and pure religious beings. And at this moment, Lo’ak was an angel.

Awwww, it’s so nice to hear Lo’ak being described as an angel - it’s an unique take on someone most people would consider the opposite and shows the beauty through which the reader sees him, and how to the rest of the world he may be misbehaved and rebellious, but not to her. ARGHHH MY HEART

Lo’ak scoffed at your response and stuck his tongue out in a mocking manner. “You mean the yovo fruit that Spider and I specifically collected because you asked for it? Yeah, I got put on ikran pen duty for a week after that since we missed curfew.”

Arghhhhhh LOOK AT HIM BEING AN AMAZING FRIEND, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

You simply rolled your eyes and aimed your middle finger at Lo’ak. Yeah, you definitely spent way too much time around Lo’ak.

I love the idea that Lo’ak learns human bad habits and just spreads it around like a disease, much to Neytiri and mo’at’s despair

There was an unspoken bond between you two–a bond that went beyond friendship and teetered on the edge of romantic love. And while it was undeniable that there was something more happening between the two of you, your relationship stayed on that flimsy edge.

Oh, I love that, from your description to the relationship to the relationship itself, I’m so excited to hear where this goes <3

Sure, he could use more pragmatism in his daily thinking, but you saw Lo’ak’s personality as a blessing more than a hindrance, especially in times of war and destruction. If Lo’ak was your sun, then you were his moon–stable and outer-worldly

ARGHHHH I LOVE THISSS :((( I love it because that’s exactly what he needs, just someone who understands that (in the world of my girlfriend vi) what makes you different makes you strong, and that what sets him apart is something to be celebrated, not reprimanded.

you could not deny the appeal of a nomadic lifestyle like the Olangi clan

I’ll say it here cause it’s as good a place as any, but I thoroughly appreciate how thoroughly you did your research and there have been multiple instances already where I noticed and made a mental note of it and I just wanted to say I appreciate it massively and ily <3

“I’m just so sick of it. He expects me to be this perfect son and soldier all in one, but I’m not Neteyam. I’m just Lo’ak.”

Idk why but this reminded me so much of Harry Potter and the “I’m just harry” HAHAHAAHAH

He was more than both of his parents. Though he would never admit it, Lo’ak was a lost soul

Lo’ak is so forever winter coded and I’ve always thought about him listening to that song, I love him so much :(((

NOOOOO BABY COME HERE I JUST WANT TO HUG HIM AND TELL HIM HE’S OK AND HE’S ENOUGH ARGHHH :(((

A moment of silent pass as you waited for Lo’ak’s response to your confession. Lo'ak did not expect you to confess, but he knew at some point it was bound to happen. Just not right now, under these cruel circumstances, in a time of devastation.

You shouldn’t have confessed. Lo’ak wasn’t ready for it.

OH GOD, NO DONT BREAK MY HEART

Lo’ak has known ever since he was a small child that you were his endgame.

I WANNA BE YOUR ENDGAME, I WANNA BE YOUR FIRST STRING

These may be the traits you love about Lo’ak now, but he knows very well these are the same traits that can make you fall out of love with him too

Argh, I’ve always feared this, this is such a relatable fear, too, I felt the sone in my core

His mouth was pressed in a tight line and the wrinkles in his forehead looked more apparent than they ever have before. Neytiri walked beside Jake with Tuk’s hand in hers in a tight grasp, as if she never wanted to let her baby go ever again

I THINK I’VE SEEN THIS FILM BEFORE, AND I DIDN’T LIKE THE ENDING!!!

. Lo’ak’s eyes then met yours and with a small nod, you understood what he was trying to say. Later. At our spot.

I LOVE THAT THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO WELL THEY CAN SAY SO MUCH WITH SO LITTLE :(((

Lo’ak wasn’t faring any better than you. His continuous sniffles vibrated on your body. He barely looked up, wanting to savor the feeling of your bodies pressed together in such an intimate way. His mind was in a haze as he processed the situation. This wasn’t real life, it couldn’t be real life. His life was perfectly balanced with you. If Eywa sought to protect the balance of life, why would she take you away from him?

;(((( my poor babiesss they deserve so much better omgggg

There are forces beyond your control that make love unsustainable and out of your reach, despite how close you are to it. Eywa did not teach you this lesson. Lo’ak did.

Mmm. I really liked that, this scene actually reminded me a lot of a scene in arcane and I’d love to say it but I don’t want to spoil it in case you do decide to watch it (which I recommend and if you do I can’t wait to talk about it with you my love)

Eywa would be heartbroken to learn one of her children, whom she created with love and adoration, did not love himself.

No cause why did that break my heart and why is it so well put??? :((( He seems fine most of the time, forcing smiles and neverminds His laugh is a symphony, when the lights go out, it's hard to breathe I pull at every thread, tryna solve the puzzles in his head Live my life scared to death he'll decide to leave instead This is Lo’ak fr

When it came to you, his sweet tìyawn, Lo’ak never made any serious mistakes. So why was he doing it now? Lo’ak’s eyes burned as he stared at your figure walking away from him and the future you could’ve had together.

:((((( I can’t wait to see where this goes omgggg :(((

baby that was so good i'm so so proud of you :(((

SILVER SPRINGS (Lo'ak x Fem! Reader)

pairing: lo'ak x fem! reader

wordcount: 7.6k

warnings: angst, fandom cliches, amateur writing, bantering, unrequited love (?), complex family dynamics, A LOT OF CLICHES IM SORRY, bad pacing (my bad bro idk how to pace a story im new to this), not sure what else as this is pretty tame

rating: SFW! though my blog is 18+ because i interact with nsfw content, anyone can technically read this?

taglist: @teyamsatan

author's note: okay hi this is my first fanfic that i've ever written before? not counting fanfics i wrote in middle school anyway i got the idea for this fanfic after listening to silver springs by fleetwood mac and i was so obsessed with this idea that i had to make it come true? im a huge neteyam girly so this is a shocker that my first fic ever is about lo'ak (he's my babygirl, just not the LOML like neteyam). uhhh im only familiar with academic writing and this is my first time EVER dipping my toe into the waters of creative writing so pls bear with me if this is not perfect. i actually think this is quite flat and tbh i hate the pacing like its actually awful and there is so much room for improvement, but hey what can i do? IM A NEWBIE AT THIS!! with that being said, if you do decide to read, please treat me with some grace because i am sensitive and i did this purely for fun!!! i know my lo'ak stans are starving for fics and im here to deliver!!!! i am not a professional or seasoned writer by any means but i really tried my best to create something enjoyable ): i don't know why this ended up being so long but it did and there WILL be a part two, i already have it outlined. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, here is my first avatar fanfiction!!

proofread and edited but i got lazy toward the end LOL if you see any mistakes, please tell me kindly <3

You could be my silver spring

Blue-green colors flashin'

I would be your only dream

Your shinin' autumn ocean crashin'

The forest blended into a mixture of vibrant colors as you ran away from the incoming threat. Beautiful shades of blue, green, and purple passed around you. The feeling of the bare ground, soft and pliant from the morning dew, normally imbued you with a sense of stability and peace. As long as your feet were on the ground and connected to Ewya’s bountiful moon, you knew everything would be alright. However, this time, the feeling of the bare ground underneath your feet felt the opposite of stable and peaceful. The ground served as a reminder of how much longer you had to run until you reached the safe confines of the Omitikaya clan.

You stopped running with a quick halt. Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to catch your breath. The beads in your hair clacked together in a cacophony as you looked around in different directions. The sun broke through the tree canopy and highlighted the forest like a kaleidoscope. Swish. You quickly turned your head to the other side to catch sight of what made the noise but all you could see was the rustling of the bush–as if whatever you were looking for was looking for you too before running off. Without a second to spare, you dashed in the direction of the village. But you only made it a few feet ahead of you before you were tackled by something heavy and shoved to the forest ground.

“I win.” said the voice from above in a triumphant, but annoying, manner.

“You got to be faster than that, ‘eylan.” As you shaded your eyes with your hand, you were met with the illuminating picture of Lo’ak on top of you. The sun shone above on Lo’ak and cast him in beautiful rays of light. He looked like an angel–like a celestial being sent straight from Ewya’s heart and into your eyesight. Though you have never seen an angel, Norm described them as ethereal and pure religious beings. And at this moment, Lo’ak was an angel.

“Get off me, fatass.” You said as you pushed Lo’ak weight off your body. You secretly loved the weight of his body on yours and how it radiated a warmth that hugged your body and soul. Lo’ak rolled off with ease and laid next to you on the foliage. “Hey! No need to insult me because you lost yet another round of hunter and prey.”

Hunter and prey. A game that all Omitcayan children played growing up. And though you and Lo’ak were no longer children, you continued to play this game. Lo’ak claims it’s a great way to burn energy and let loose. You suspected he liked playing so often because it allowed him to avoid whatever daily chores his father, the Olo’eyktan, assigned him. And while you could think of better ways to spend your time, you indulged in Lo’ak’s childish whims because it brought him happiness. What type of best friend would you be if you didn’t?

“I’m not insulting you because I lost. I could care less about losing,” You explained. “I’m insulting you because tackled me to the ground and put your entire weight on my body. Lay off the yovo fruit and I might insult you less.”

You simply rolled your eyes and aimed your middle finger at Lo’ak. Yeah, you definitely spent way too much time around Lo’ak.

You both basked in the sun and listened to the sound of the forest: your home, your comfort place, the lifeline of the People. You thanked Eywa every day for the forest and the way it provided for you endlessly–from the delicious yovo fruit, to the medicinal herbs, fauna, and everything in between. There was a gentle rustle in the air as it approached low afternoon. If closed your eyes and listened hard enough, you could hear the faint buzz of the insects and the leaves fluttering.

As you turned on your side to face Lo’ak, you noticed he still had his eyes shut. Your eyes raked over his stripes–the stripes that would forever be engrained in your brain–and focused on the armband that fits snugly on his upper arm. The weaved armband was made out of dried, violet stalks from the tstxa'a plant and braided into a traditional, intricate Omatikayan pattern. You added tiny clay beads that you hand-molded and painted a color very similar to a marigold–you captured copious amounts of juice from the banana fruit just to have enough pigment to create a dye. A small smile appeared on your face as you recall how long it took you to make the armband.

Your eyes slowly made their way toward his face. They widened as they realized Lo’ak’s eyes were open and staring at you too. The air was charged with tension as you both continued to stare at each other in silence.

You and Lo’ak always had this weird ability to communicate through eye contact alone. Your friendship, which was forged in childhood, ran so deep that words failed to represent what your eyes could. He was your other half as much as you were his. In these small moments of intimacy, you remember just how much you love Lo’ak. There was an unspoken bond between you two–a bond that went beyond friendship and teetered on the edge of romantic love. And while it was undeniable that there was something more happening between the two of you, your relationship stayed on that flimsy edge.

“What are you thinking about,” you whispered in a tone so soft that it reached Lo’ak ears like a tender caress.

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking,” Lo’ak replied with a teasing lilt in his voice and a glitter in his amber eyes. While everyone in the Omatikaya clan had the same shades of bright, yellow eyes, you thought Lo’ak had the prettiest. You raised the muscle on your face, where your eyebrows would have been if you had, and furrowed your forehead in suspicious knowing.

“Thinki-” “I’m thinking about how funny it would be if I beat your ass in another round of hunter and prey! Last one to the village has to take over foraging duty!,” Lo’ak shouted with a boyish smile as he got up quickly and ran in the direction of his kelku.

You got up from the lush grass and ran after him with another exacerbated breath.

The day drawled along as you patrolled the forest for the dandetiger tree. You looked for its long, azure leaves and armored trunk. As a healer in training, you were tasked by Mo’at to look for the tree for samples of the resin-like substance that it leaked. The sticky substance was extremely helpful to the Omatikaya clan in many ways as it behaved like an adhesive. It was especially important to healers as they used the dangetiger tree as part of treating wounds and ensuring bandages stuck and protected healing wounds. The healing hut ran low on its supply, thus you found yourself wandering through the forest. Kiri offered to accompany you, but you could tell she rather focus on perfecting the paste she was mixing. A major perk of being best friends with Lo’ak is that you also became close with his family and found a small niche within the Sully family.

You were an extension of Lo’ak, but also the opposite of him in some ways. Whereas Lo’ak was more energetic and impulsive, you were calmer and sensical. You both balanced each other perfectly; you were the yin to his yang. While Lo’ak’s nature often got him in trouble with his family, namely his father and older brother, you loved his high energy and zest for life. Sure, he could use more pragmatism in his daily thinking, but you saw Lo’ak’s personality as a blessing more than a hindrance, especially in times of war and destruction. If Lo’ak was your sun, then you were his moon–stable and outer-worldly. You were unwavering. Your nurturing nature and kind soul always amazed Lo’ak, even in the worse of times, you took it upon yourself to think and act as an optimist. You carried yourself with a sense of dignity that Lo’ak wishes he could replicate.

Though none of you ever admitted it out loud, you and Lo’ak knew that you loved each other in a way that best friends didn’t.

Despite your differences, you both had a passion for exploring and adventure. If Lo’ak went anywhere, you followed. And if he got in any trouble, you were only a few steps behind him. While Lo’ak intention for mischief was partially caused by the motivation to piss off his father, you believed that Eywa made Pandora for the purpose of exploring. Why would she make Pandora so magnificent and rich in life if not to experience every single crevice, nook, and cranny of it? While the forest would always be your home and the place you want to spend the rest of your life in, you could not deny the appeal of a nomadic lifestyle like the Olangi clan. However, with the return of the sky people on Pandora, your exploring had been cut to a short. Unable to venture into the unknown parts of the forest, the parts that resulted in a scolding or two from both your mom and Mr. Sully, you were forced to stay within the clan’s boundary lines.

Your thoughts were cut short as your heard movement in the background. The bag on your shoulder was discarded to the ground as you took out your bow and arrow. You were no warrior, but you begged Lo’ak to teach you enough to be able to defend yourself. Any Na’vi should know this little. You prayed to Eywa that it wasn’t a palulukan, or worse—a sky demon. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of your face as you aimed your bow in the direction of where you heard the noise. You aimed at the bushes before letting your final finger release the bow.

“Relax, syulang! It’s just me, Lo’ak!,” he said as he came out from the bushes of loreyu and walked to where you were standing. “Lo’ak,” you huffed with annoyance in your voice. “Don’t scare me like that, you skxawng! I was really focused on finding a dandetiger tree. Tsahik’s orders. What are you even doing here? I thought you were training with your father.”

“Lo’ak,” you huffed with annoyance in your voice. “Don’t scare me like that, you skxawng! I was really focused on finding a dandetiger tree. Tsahik’s orders. What are you even doing here? I thought you were training with your father.”

As Lo’ak walked closer to you, you noticed the downturn expression on his face. Your immediate heart softened. He must have had another fight with his father, you thought to yourself. Lo’ak turned his face toward yours and you saw the unshed tears in his eyes that threatened to fall any second now.

“I, uh, I was training with my father until we got into a fight and I stormed off,” he said with a shaky breath. You could tell Lo’ak was trying to keep his composure, not wanting to show that vulnerable side he desperately tries to hide away. Yet, you knew better than that. Every time Lo’ak tried to shut down and hide his emotions, you came running after him and knocked down the fragile walls he built around himself. The walls were fragile because Lo’ak knew he would and could never shut you out completely. He took a deep, shaky breath before continuing, “I’m just so sick of it. He expects me to be this perfect son and soldier all in one, but I’m not Neteyam. I’m just Lo’ak.”

You always thought Lo’ak was the most complex person you ever met. He was the second-born son of the revered Toruk Makto and mighty Palulukun Makto. But, Lo’ak was so much more than that to you. He was more than both of his parents. Though he would never admit it, Lo’ak was a lost soul. Not quite like Neteyam, the mighty warrior and dutiful son, or the spiritual Kiri who was literally like Ewya’s disciple. Hell, even everyone knew Tuk would grow into a fine, strong-spirited woman! Lo’ak didn't know where he fit in his family. Of course, the Sully family loved him, and Lo’ak loved his family just as much. But that still didn’t stop the gnawing, deep feeling in Lo’ak’s subconscious from telling him that he would never amount to greatness like the rest of his family. You wished Lo’ak wouldn’t be so hard on himself because you also had a deep feeling in your subconscious that Lo’ak was destined for greatness–the feeling was embedded so deep in your bones that you would bet your left on it.

“I know that I’m a fuck up.”

“You’re no-”

“It’s okay, syulang. I know I’m a fuck up. I can see it in the tribes’ faces every time they hear my father lecture me, or worse, hear Neteyam lecture me. I can see it in my fathers’ eyes and in the way the rest of my family pities me.”

“Your family doesn’t pity you, Lo’ak. If anything, they pity the way your father has been forced into this weird dichotomy of the punisher and protector ever since the sky demons returned and how it’s taken an effect on your relationship,” you tried to explain as sweetly as possible.

You took a step closer to Lo’ak and examined his face. Though his tears had dried and his eyes were now puffy, you could still tell there was a great sadness within him. You wished you could take all his pain and suffering so he didn’t have to.

“I don’t know who I am besides the fuck up, or the troublemaker. I feel like my entire existence is defined by all the things I am not. Defined by the way I’m different from Neteyam or Kiri. I want to be defined by who I am, but I don’t even know who that is most of the time,” said Lo’ak. “I try so hard, but it is never enough to satisfy my father. Or myself. I feel this heavy pressure in my chest and no matter what I do to relieve it, it stays. If I am not meant to be the next Olo’eyktan or the next Tsahik, then who am I meant to be? Sure–I am training to become a warrior, but I’m not sure if this is something I want or if it is a role I am forced into. I know I’m impulsive and reckless and irresponsible, but I try so hard, but what if that isn’t enough to look over all my flaws and mistakes?”

You moved even closer and tucked one of Lo’ak’s front braids behind his ear. You always loved his hair like this. It suited his face so well. His braids were adorned by various beads, each with its own significance and memory attached to them. The beads he wore today were a pretty amethyst color. Your mind quickly flashbacked to the day you both created the matching beads. You both swam all day in one of the forest’s ponds trying to find the purple stones underwater so you could both craft new beads. Lo’ak almost passed out from lack of air twice and your hair was so tangled by the end of the day that it took your mother three hours to undo the gnarly knots. It was totally worth it, however, because you gained new accessories and memories to match. But before you could let yourself get too far away in the past, you shifted your attention towards Lo’ak and began to speak.

“I see you, Lo’ak. I see all of you. I know that you feel like a lost soul and that you get too caught up in comparing yourself to the rest of your family. And I truly wished you didn’t compare yourself to others so much because you are so special.” Lo’ak’s face grew warm at your words. Before he could respond, you interrupted him and continued to talk. “You feel like you are too different from your family and think you do not fit in, but you do! You are the light of your family; you bring laughter and happiness. The Sully dynamic would not be the same without you–it would be too serious and no one would have fun! Lo’ak, you have a strong heart like your father. Even though you could use some impulse control, I know you never have ill intentions. We are still so young and have so much more maturing to do. Do not let yourself be defined by the mistakes of your past. Mistakes are bound to happen–they are as natural as birth and death. You’re the light of my life too. Without you, there is no one else in this clan that could make me smile as much as you do. No one to explore with and quench our thirst for curiosity. You say that you are impulsive, but there is too much excitement in your body to contain it. I love seeing your excitement and wander–it is a reminder of Pandora’s goodness and the way Eywa intended us to live. You are not irresponsible, you are just learning along the way like we all are. There is no one like you, and my heart is torn because you do not see yourself in the same way. I pray to Eywa that you could see yourself through my eyes.” You then placed one hand on Lo’ak’s chest, right above his heart.

“Nga yawne lu oer, Lo’ak.” There was no going back now. You said it–the words that would either be fatal to your soul or make your heart sore higher than the Hallejuah Mountains. And though there was a risk of Lo’ak rejecting you completely, you jumped off the fragile cliff that your friendship lived on. All the intimate moments, the knowing smiles, and the lifetime of shared memories led you to this moment.

You shouldn’t have confessed. Lo’ak wasn’t ready for it.

The look in your eyes was so sincere and so full of unconditional love. You are the only person who could truly see Lo’ak for everything that he is and everything he was meant to become. The light hit your eyes in the right way and Lo’ak could swear they were glittering. Ewya blessed her with both heart and beauty, he said in his head. Lo’ak could only stare as he still reeled from your heartfelt speech. He wasn’t an idiot—Lo’ak knew that there was a special chemistry between him and his best friend. And he also knew that it was the type of chemistry that only two people in love have. Lo’ak has known ever since he was a small child that you were his endgame. Your years spent together only solidified his hypothesis.

Life on Pandora could be unforgiving and unrelenting, but you were the complete opposite. You were forgiving, always ready to accept Lo’ak back into your arms and heart after every mistake he made. Though these mistakes were rarely made towards you, you still welcomed him every time. You were always there for him. But, Lo’ak didn’t fall in love with you because of the fact you were always there for him. It did play a big part, but Lo’ak knew that would be a selfish reason for falling in love. Instead, Lo’ak fell in love with you because you were…well, you. You were kind and always treated your fellow clan members with the utmost consideration and respect. You were perceptive, never wanting to misconstrue a situation and analyzing all nuances before speaking on something. Because of this, everything you said or did was genuine. Lo’ak loved this the most about you. Where Lo’ak felt everyone in the clan (excluding his family and Spider) give him fake niceties, you were 100% authentic towards him. You never condescendingly spoke to him or treated him like a chore that had to be put up with. Compassion and understanding were what you treated Lo’ak with. These are all things he rarely experienced with other Na’vi. Yet, you also weren’t afraid to call out Lo’ak on his bullshit and humble him. You somehow balanced outspokenness and tenderness all at once. This lit a fire in Lo’ak soul.

This thought both excited and scared him. The thought of loving someone unconditionally, and being loved unconditionally, seemed like something too good to be true. Only something reserved for people who deserved it. Lo’ak knew you deserved unconditional love, but it couldn’t be with him. Despite everything you said about him and the way it almost glued together his broken self-esteem, Lo’ak could not return your confession in good consciousness. It’s not that Lo’ak didn't love you–hell, he loves you more than anyone or anything on this moon! But, his insecurities would not allow you to love him or allow him to love you. He didn’t deserve to love or be loved, not when his insecurities kept up awake at night, taunting his brain with “You’ll never be good enough” or “You’re a failure of a son and brother.” You deserved better than Lo’ak and all of his broken parts. You needed someone who was the best–someone like Neteyam, but not Neteyam himself because that would be the final nail in Lo’ak’s coffin. Lo’ak knows his recklessness, impulsivity, and natural gravitation toward the unknown was acceptable because he is young. These may be the traits you love about Lo’ak now, but he knows very well these are the same traits that can make you fall out of love with him too. After all, you won’t be young forever and it won’t be cute forever. But what if he never grows out of this? What if this is who he is meant to be? No, Lo’ak would not subject you to this fate.

And so, for once in his life, Lo’ak let fear take over his decision. Your face morphed into an expression of shock and confusion before settling on a still face.

“I am sorry, syulang. I can’t do this right now.”

You watched Lo’ak retreat from the spot you both stood in. What the fuck just happened?

You spent the next few days in a strange haze as you processed what happened between you and Lo’ak. At first, you were angry. How could Lo’ak just leave you hanging like that? For Ewya’s sake, he could have said anything else and it would have been a better response than what he said. You laid your fucking heart out on your sleeve, waiting for Lo’ak to take it and claim it forever. After your initial response to the situation, you started to worry. Maybe you misinterpreted your relationship. What if Lo’ak didn’t love you and you just thought he did because of how close you were? No, that didn’t sound right. You knew Lo’ak loved you too. Not even in a delusional way to comfort yourself, but there was no denying you both loved each other. Did you just confess at the wrong time? Perhaps it would have been better if you confessed when Lo’ak wasn’t fighting with his father. But, you didn’t even mean to confess! Well, you did mean to confess but not at that exact moment. You were trying to comfort Lo’ak and reassure him that he was wrong, that someone could love him. It just seemed like the right thing to say. What if it wasn’t? What if it overwhelmed Lo’ak and pushed him away? Now you felt like the jerk for confessing at such a moment. But Lo’ak was a jerk too for just leaving you! You really wished you could talk to him, or that he would talk to you, but the timing was horrible. The war party went out a few days ago, and it was Lo’ak’s first time joining the mission. But of course, things never go as planned. Over-enthusiasm from Lo’ak’s and an injured Neteyam caused Mr. Sully to put Lo’ak on lockdown for the last few days. This was the first day Lo’ak was allowed some freedom to explore, that’s what Kiri told you before she left with her brother, Spider, and Tuk. You wanted to join them in their adventure today, but you were still reeling from your last conversation with Lo’ak and decided it would be better to stay in the village. You needed one more day to unscramble your thoughts before approaching him.

The tension between you and Lo’ak had been festering, but it quickly came to a stop once you saw him walk back into the village with his entire family. Jake and Neytiri walked walk in front of their children with heavy looks on their faces. Jake looked angry, yet worn at the same time. His mouth was pressed in a tight line and the wrinkles in his forehead looked more apparent than they ever have before. Neytiri walked beside Jake with Tuk’s hand in hers in a tight grasp, as if she never wanted to let her baby go ever again. Her expression was harder to read, but you could tell the tsakarem was worried by her stiff posture. Kiri trailed behind her parents with a slouchy form and arms across her torso. She looks dejected. And finally in the back were Neteyam and Lo’ak. Spider was nowhere to be seen, which you found odd as he went with the rest of the Sully children into the forest, but you assumed he must have gone back to the human outpost before curfew.

I wonder what happened. Something must have happened if the entire family walked in like that.

Jake and Neytiri quickly made their way to their kelku and closed the opening flaps before any of their children could come in. The Sully children then made their way toward the side of their kelku and leaned forward on their hands as they attempted to listen to their parent's conversation. You wanted to make your way towards them and figure out what the hell happened. Just as you were about to walk over to them, Lo’ak turned around and his eyes scanned the village as if he were looking for something or someone. Lo’ak’s eyes then met yours and with a small nod, you understood what he was trying to say. Later. At our spot.

Your stomach turned to bubbles as a feeling of cold anxiety washed over your body. You weren’t sure if it was because of Lo’ak or something else, but you knew whatever it was, it was not good.

Lo’ak was already sitting on the bioluminescent forest floor when you arrived at the small clearing which was designated as our spot. It was a hidden clearing–away from any of the main trails and hunting and gathering spots that the clan used. You first found the clearing one day after playing a round of hunter and prey with Lo’ak and Spider.

Flashback

You were both 12 years old. Your hair was cut in a sharp, shoulder-length bob because you claimed long hair only got in the way. A bright orange and yellow ombre feather decorated the underside of your hair. A simple beige-toned weaved top and matching ‘tewng adorned your small body as you ran away from Lo’ak. He loved playing the role of hunter–you assumed it because of the way Lo’ak looked up to his father. He wanted to be like the Olo’eyktan in every way possible. This was before their relationship had a strain in it. Both you and Lo’ak were unmarred from the harshness of war. The only thought that filled both of your minds was what adventure you would get into next.

As you giggled profusely and thought of where to run next, you noticed that you were in a different part of the forest that you never visited before. You searched for any familiar landmarks, or plants that would signify where you were. The giggles that previously escaped your mouth quieted down as the situation dawned on you. You were lost in the forest all alone! Your mom was going to kill you, but only if a nantang or palulukun didn’t kill you first.

“Lo’ak, are you there!!!!!,” you screamed at the top of your lungs. That probably wasn’t the smartest move. A predator could be attracted to your sound. But you figured it would be better to call for Lo’ak. If any predators came, you could climb a tree and wait it out.

“Lo’ak!!!” you continued. Worry was starting to creep in. If you didn’t find Lo’ak soon, there was no way you would be able to survive the night in the forest.

As you looked around the clearing again, you noted that it was quite pretty. A small pond, decorated with pink paysyuls, sat in the middle of the forest. The sun streamed through the trees and you could see the fishes elegantly swim in the water. A pack of loreyu sat directly across the pond, along with eanean bushes right next to it. The clearing was simple, but you knew that it was much more than that. Like everything else Eywa created, the clearing served a purpose and was spiritually connected to the Na’vi. Perhaps its purpose was unknown until this moment. You decided that the purpose of the clearing would be a secret spot only known to both you and Lo’ak. The thought excited you, and you quickly imagined a lifetime of moments here.

Flashback Over

Lo’ak sat with his arms extended behind him with his back facing you. You could see the tension in his back muscle as he sat there, looking up towards the night sky. One of Polyphemus’ moons was shaped like an ikran claw. Despite the moon’s brightness in the sky, the stars still twinkled. A soft, minty green glow emitted from the bioluminescent leaves Lo’ak sat upon. His tanhi, patterned perfectly on his body like Ewya directly hand placed each freckle herself, glowed like the sky above him. Lo’ak was lost in his thoughts as he silently spoke to Ewya, questioning what her intention was. You cleared your throat to grab Lo’ak’s attention.

“Hey…” he muttered under his breath. You replied with a soft hello before taking your place next to him. There was still an awkward tension lingering between the two of you, but you pushed it away. Whatever happened a few days ago didn’t matter anymore. You knew something serious happened in the Sully family and you knew your best friend needed you right now.

“Do you want to tell me what happened this time?” you quoted Lo’ak as you looked into his eyes for the first time in a few days. The dark lighting only enhanced the rich shade of his honey-colored eyes. They glowed brightly in the dark. His eyes resembled the shiny topaz glass jewels located deep in the rainforests’ many caverns–both were a sight to behold.

Lo’ak thought he should rip the bandage off. There was no point in delaying the traumatic news he just received from his parents.

“My family and I are leaving the forest.”

You were confused by his statement. Leaving where? There was no other place to go. The forest was your home, his home. “Do you mean that you’re visiting another tribe for diplomatic reasons,” you asked with a slight tilt in your head to match confusion. Why would this be so important that he needed to meet you at your spot? This wouldn’t be the first time the Sully family has left on diplomatic retreats.

“No, (Y/N). My family and I are leaving the forest permanently,” Lo’ak replied. Your heart dropped into the pits of your stomach. Now you were just getting annoyed. You haven’t spoken to Lo’ak in the days, and the first thing he does is try to pull at your leg. “Lo’ak if this is a joke, then it’s not funny. What are you talking about?” you said with a stern voice. Lo’ak stared at you as if he didn’t want to explain further. It’s true, he didn’t want to explain further because it meant that what was happening was real and there was no way to delay or stop the situation.

“Earlier today, when we were exploring the forest, we saw footprints in the dirt that didn’t belong to any Na’vi. It was sky demons. We followed the footsteps to an abandoned shack. I knew we weren’t supposed to be there, but then we spotted a group of uniltìranyu in military gear. I quickly paged my father and let him know what we found. But as we were trying to leave back to the forest, the uniltìranyu captured us and held us hostage…”

“What?” you let out in shock. The magnitude of Lo’ak’s words hit you like a poisoned arrow. Dreamwalkers? How could that be true? The last dream walker to walk the ground of Pandora was Jake Sully…and that was 14 years ago.

“I-I thought we were going to die. They treated us like we were animals. As if we were the ones who invaded their planet and deserved to be captured and hung. All I felt was primal fear and the instinctual reaction to protect my family. We were held hostage until my parents and brother came to our rescue. But, it was too late by then. They figured out who were and our relation to my father. They even captured Spider…” Lo’ak had to stop speaking. The familiar tightening of his throat began. You could tell he was about to cry, but you pushed further. Honestly, your brain was fuzzy at this point. It was so fuzzy to the point that you didn’t even process the news of Spider, your tiny human friend, being captured. It completely slipped your mind. You didn’t have time to think about the implications of this news as you could only process one thing and one thing only: Lo’ak was leaving. The Sullys were leaving!

“What does that have to do with you leaving the forest?”

“Don’t you understand, syulang? They know who we are. Our lives are at risk! The whole clan is at risk if we continue to stay.” Lo’ak explained in frustration. “I don’t want this, I don’t want to leave the only place I’ve ever known. How can I leave the forest while Spider is out there, going through Eywa knows what, with those demons? How can I leave you?” Fat, wet tears streamed down Lo’ak’s face as he spoke.

Crack. The sound of your heart breaking reverberated in your ears. All you could hear was a dull ringing. Your best friend, the love of your life–how could he just leave like that? You questioned the will of Eywa. How could she be so cruel to tear you both apart? Especially after your confession the other day? You wanted to curse and scream and cry all at once. However, you knew you had to be strong for Lo’ak.

You held Lo’ak’s body in silence. You were both in a catatonic state. An hour or so had passed since his initial confession. The atmosphere was serene, a heavy contrast from the dark storm brewing in both of your minds. This may be the last time you would ever get to hold Lo’ak like this and fully enjoy his presence. All of the years spent together slowly meshed in your mind as you tried to calm yourself down with memories of happier times. You honestly didn’t know how you could survive this life without your other half.

Tomorrow is never promised. That is a cruel lesson you learned today. It was probably best that you and Lo’ak head back to the village and sleep, but you didn’t want this night to end. You wanted to savor every last moment. Memorize every stripe on Lo’ak’s body, every green speck in his eyes, the way his eyebrows moved, and how his body felt right next to yours. How could you say goodbye to 14 years of memories in one night? It seemed impossible.

As you stared at the light reflecting off the pond, you knew there was one topic you had to broach. You weren’t sure if this was the right time, but it was the only chance you had. After all, Lo’ak only had one more day in the clan before his family set off to Eywa knows where. You knew the forest of Pandora held many clans, but you suspected his family would be going somewhere even further than that. You tried to calm the rapid pace of your heart, but your nerves refused to settle down. So, you sent a quick prayer to Ewya, turned to Lo’ak, and quietly said, “The other night, when I said I love you, why didn’t you say it back?”

You didn’t want to fight with Lo’ak–not on a night like this, where blood has been shed and a family has been torn from normalcy. But, you had to talk to Lo’ak about this. What if you never saw him again? You couldn’t live the rest of your life with unresolved feelings. It would drive you utterly insane and wreck your soul for as long as you live.

(Y/N)...”

“I’m being serious, Lo’ak. Why did not you say it back? I know this is the last thing on your mind right now, but you cannot leave me hanging. You owe me more than that and you know it,” you said with determination in your voice.

You then stood up. This was not a conversation you could have sitting down. The anxiety coursing through your veins made it impossible to sit still. Lo’ak followed your actions and stood up too.

“I was afraid,” he replied.

“Afraid of what Lo’ak? We have always been so honest with each other.” You thought you would always understand Lo’ak, but perhaps you were mistaken. You didn’t understand what there was to be afraid of. You both loved each other, shouldn’t that be enough? You failed to realize that love isn’t enough sometimes. There are forces beyond your control that make love unsustainable and out of your reach, despite how close you are to it. Eywa did not teach you this lesson. Lo’ak did.

Lo’ak was faced with two choices at this moment: he could confess his love to you or he could deny it. He so desperately wished he could choose the first choice. Something within him would not allow himself to whether it was because he was about to leave and he could not promise himself to you, or because he was so far deep in his inner turmoil. Lo’ak felt anger bubbling in his chest. This anger wasn’t directed towards you, but himself. He cursed his inability to allow himself to fully love you because of his internal issues. No, he justified the second choice in his mind with weak reasons as to why he could not confess his love.

If he said confessed, Lo’ak knew you would spend the rest of your days waiting for his return. If he ever returned. You deserved more than that. You deserved someone who could love you now. The prospect of you waiting for him, only for Lo’ak to stay the same Na’vi he was now, a version of himself that wasn’t proud of, haunted him. Yeah. Lo’ak framed his reasoning to focus on you, rather than himself because it made the harsh reality less painful. Damn the fact he was leaving, he would wait 100 years for you too if he confessed. The reality was Lo’ak could not confess his love because he couldn’t give his all to you, not when his judgment and self-worth were clouded by thoughts so dark that Eywa would be heartbroken to learn one of her children, whom she created with love and adoration, did not love himself.

Either way, he was about to break your heart for the second time within days.

“You are the other half of my soul and if there is any person who can understand me, it is you. But, I cannot love you. I’m sorry syulang.” There was a sorrowful look across Lo’ak’s face. Your body deflated at his words and the familiar sting of tears gathered in your eyes. He didn’t want to continue, but if was going to break your heart, you at least deserved a proper explanation.

“You are the most lovely and wonderful woman on this planet; the idea of you not being in my life hurts more than a palulukan attack. But I swear on my life to Eywa when I say this, but it is not you. It’s me. You have always been this positive being in my life, and I always hoped it would rub off on me and make me a better man. I thought, maybe if that ever happened, we could be together in the future. I would finally be worthy of all the love you have to offer. I am not good enough for you. I would only drag you down with the weight of my heavy problems,” Lo’ak finished.

“But it’s not your choice to decide who deserves me,” you let out with an exasperated tone. “How can you stand here in front of me and deny the bond we have? The love we have? The other day when I confessed that I see you and you ignored it, I brushed it off my shoulder because I was sure, with every fiber of my being, that you see me too. That you love me. But now you are leaving, and Eywa knows when the fuck you are coming back, and you can't even admit it out loud?” you questioned.

“Don’t you get it? I am not doing this because I want to deny the bond we have. I feel our bond every day from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. Even in my dreams, you are there. Your essence is built into the foundation of my bones. I just can’t love you. No good would come of it. I’m the clan’s outcast. Yes, we are best friends and we know each other like the back of our palms. But I won't let you carry the burden of my imperfectness,” Lo’ak choked with a sob at the end.

Without missing a beat, you tirade, “I think everything you are saying is complete bullshit. How could be absolute about something that has not been realized? We have spent the last 14 years together. I know you better than I know myself, Lo’ak. And I know you see me too, so what are you so afraid of? There is nothing that you could ever do that would scare me away from loving you. I love you for who you are–flaws and all. I notice everything about you, the good and the bad. I know you have feelings so big and nerve-wracking that you do not know how to handle them except by convincing yourself that they are true. But you cannot stand in my face and claim that this is for my own good. No, you are saying all this because you are too scared of the possibility that I might see through all that and decide that you are not worth the trouble, that every judgment the clan and your father says about you is right.”

You stepped a few feet away from Lo’ak and then turned towards the direction of the village. He hadn’t said a word since you finished your speech. Your entire back was facing Lo’ak until you turned your head over your shoulder to look back at him. The tears that pooled in your eyes began to flow like a sad waterfall that was dying, the tears slowly rolling down your stripped cheeks in an antagonizing matter. Your golden eyes stared into Lo’ak’s. He could see the hurt etched across your iris and he was sure his eyes looked just as pathetic and broken. It was a moment that would forever be engrained into Lo’ak’s memory. You opened your mouth and delivered the final blow to this already crestfallen night,

“Maybe I was wrong, maybe you don’t see me. Because if you truly did, you would know that I would not care about your weaknesses. I don’t even care about them now. I refuse to believe that you cannot love me too. You are a lot of things Lo’ak. A coward is not one of them. I’ll see you tomorrow to say goodbye.”

And at this moment, Lo’ak knew this was the biggest of all his fuck ups. He had managed to ruin a lot of good things and moments. Never knowing when the party is over and when the business began. When it came to you, his sweet tìyawn, Lo’ak never made any serious mistakes. So why was he doing it now? Lo’ak’s eyes burned as he stared at your figure walking away from him and the future you could’ve had together.

translations: eylan - friend, Olo’eyktan - male clan leader, tstxa'a - canalyd, kelku - home, palulukan - thanator, syulang - flower, loreyu - helocordian, skxawng - moron, Toruk Makto - toruk rider, Palulukun Makto - thanator rider, Tsahik - clan spiritual leader, Nga yawne lu oer - i love you, tsakarem - successor to the tsahik, ‘tewng - loincloth, nantang - viperwolf, paysyuls - water lily, eanean - blue plant, tanhi - bioluminescent freckle, uniltìranyu - dream walker, tìyawn - love

credits for dividers: leafs (x) green line (x)

#kendra's works !!!#i don't have ANY TAGS ANYMORE WHAT IS GOING ON #but baby that was so good and pls everyone go read this now!!!!#ilysm

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cottoncandyjester · 3 years ago

Note

since Rin and Riot story was lacking some angst to go with it, i made this little fic to make them suffer a lil

tw: slight nsfw + mentions of alcohol + possible ooc + mentions of r@pe

The front door was shut with a loud bang, sloppy feet could be heard as if they were being dragged across the floor. The guy upstairs obviously heard and started skipping down to the living room, where he saw his lover trying to grab onto the wall. He who was trying to put on the best sober performance, raised his hand to try and wave but instead used it to block the sound of a loud burp. They both started laughing and the guy helped the other sit on the sofa and start to take out the excessive clothes he was wearing, the weather outside was much more colder than the one in.

“Oh~ “ the man snickered while taking off the other’s jumper “Are u trying to provoke me Riot?”

He circled his arms around Riot’s shoulders, pulling him close and laying with him.

Riot raised his head and looked at the man in the eye, as if trying to recognize who he was talking to.

“Ehehe” the laugh sounded kind of dead and the man could smell the aroma of alcohol reeking from the other’s throat “Are you Rin??”

“How drunk are you to not recognize your own lover?” He started peppering kisses onto the other’s face but soon stoped when he spoke.

“Well I got lotts a lovers, never know which one is it! eheh”.

The man slurred out his words, dragging the ‘s’ out forcibly with difficulty and not even thinking what was coming out of his mouth.

“Wait, wait” Rin started sitting up pushing Riot’s body off him. “This is a really bad joke, whad’ya mean other lovers?”

His voice sounded panicked, it has gone up a few octaves and the tone was kind of desperate.

“Let’s see, we’ve got; Sam from the club, Anna from the shop down the street,” He moved his head side to side while sticking out a finger each time he said a name “Nick from the candy-“

“Stop!”

A loud cry made the man stop counting and look up to encounter the face of someone who seemed a sentence away from bursting to tears.

Memories from a past time surrounded his mind as he tried to think of his next words.

All adults cheat.

He wanted an honest answer, he wanted to know what the other meant and deep down he hoped it was actually a sick joke he couldn’t get through and that soon enough they’ll go back to kissing and laughing how they were before.

“Are you cheating on me Riot?” it took all his strength not to cry and instead waited with his head hight up.

“Huh?” Riot’s face changed into one of confusion “cheating? we aren’t even dating.”

From all the responses that could have come out of his mouth, it was the one he least expected, he was still processing it when Riot continued.

“In the entire time we’ve been lovey dovey, none of us have said ‘will u be my boyfriend?’ to each other.” Rin was now even more confused than before.

“But, we literally moved in together, we sleep in the same bed-“ Rin’s tone now sounded angry, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening before him.

“I’ve also shared a bed with other people~ heheh” bad time to make sex jokes.

The image of someone else with Riot in the same bed clouded Rin head; hands caressing skin, combing through his hair, kissing his lips, admiring every kind of face Rin has already seen but never seems to get tired of. But worse,the thought of how Riot would be with them; does he also whisper sweet nothings into their ears like he does with him, does he grab their face and bury it with butterfly kisses like he has done to him hundred times or maybe they were also unaware of the other people he has been with.

Your partner will cheat.

No, no, no. Rin started breathing heavily and his vision blurred for a moment, maybe it was the tears, maybe it was everything spinning around him-

“hey hey, are you good there?”

his point of vision focused on a purple stain that covered most of his limited field of vision.

Although he couldn’t see anything the person on front of him could observe the other go into a spiral state of mind which he found difficult to escape from. He started calling out but it was as if he couldn’t hear anything.

Suddenly positions changed and it was him now laying on the sofa, only difference is that he couldn’t move.

“i’ll make you forget them” looking up he could see the face he so much loved, but this time it was as if it was filled with madness, a look on it that screamed obsession and desire. “I’ll show you how much better than any of them i am until im the only thing you can think of.

Rin free hand went down and started unbuttoning Riot’s pant, the latter brain too filled with alcohol and failing to comprehend what was happening until seconds too late.

“yo rin, wait” moving around as much as he could, as if trying to shake Rin off him “please, no ,wait, wait”

He now sounded desperate, he had experienced being held down by Rin and enjoying even the last second of it, all of him under his mercy without complaints. But this was nothing like how it was all those other times.

But Rin couldn’t even listen to what the other was saying, in his mind Riot has had to much freedom and has used it to the point where he crossed a line, an invisible line that the ones that have crossed it beforehand have suffered terrible ends.

But maybe this time it didn’t have to end up like any of those, if he could only liming his freedom, no. If he wanted a person all for himself, no freedom should be given until it is proven that they are responsible enough to use it. Riot had wasted his first and only chance, the fate that awaits him could be the same of worse that all of the other poor souls that made the same mistakes.

there goes the angst! have a nice day <3

WHY WOULD YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS I- 🥺

Arghhh and it’s so well written that I can’t even be upset about my broken heart! Now I have to write fluffy rin stuff to counter this!

Real talk that was really good, like Arghhh I adore people loving the characters so much that they wanna interact with them like this. Makes it so much more fun!

#yandere imagines #yandere ocs #yandere #Rin #so good #but so sad #damn you for writing so well

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imnotwolverine · 4 years ago

Text

The marriage pact - Thriller nights

Henry Cavill x OC Alice - multi-chapter

< Part 11 | Part 12 Thriller nights | Part 13 >

Disclaimer: strong language, some angst and reference to cheating

Author’s note: Do you like horror movies, darling fic-readers? I must admit I don’t, most specifically because I just have to vivid an imagination. Jaws? I didn’t dare to swim in a pool for 3 months straight..and it was the middle of summer. Yep, I know it’s silly. Are there any movies you definitely wouldn’t watch again?

Word count: 1.509

(Link to my Masterlist)

Dear readers,

Other then enjoying my chocolate cake, I was just cleaning up my DVD collection and what a wonderful collection of totally bloody horror movies I have apparently collected over the years. It is really, truly, quite horrible actually. Why would a sweet, innocent person like myself have such a twisted desire for watching the dark and obscure? Why did I watch IT more times than Pride & Prejudice?

It’s quite fascinating really, and most likely this horror fascination of mine has something to do with emotional control; we can experience certain feelings like anxiousness whilst still being in a safe environment. And you know me by now..I like being in control.

So what kind of movies do you like, dear readers? And what do you think that says about you? I’d love to hear from you.

Cleaning up her room and her thoughts,

Ali

‘So, thank you so much for coming Miss Taylor. Please take your time to work through the information I shared with you and we are looking forward to hearing from you again. You can contact me on the mail address on my card, or call me, and please..do not fret to ask me anything.’

‘Thank you doctor.’ I nodded, quite overcome with the overload of information and questions that had circulated through this small doctor’s office in St Helier’s Jersey General Hospital. I had simply requested an in-take, but hadn’t been quite ready for how deep and personal all this had been.

More than a few times throughout the intake had I felt tears well up in my stubborn eyes, the simple thought of how difficult this might be becoming, nearly too much to handle. The doctor had been most kind and informative; they could not do most of the procedures here, so I’d have to fly up and down to London every month. And there was this physical exam they had to do..and I had to start tracking my ovulation cycle, take specific medicine and vitamins. And..most importantly..I had to figure out what I wanted to do with this “fresh new relationship” of mine - which I had mentioned only very briefly.

I had waved it off, signalling I had little hope that it would work anyways, to which the doctor had given me an inquisitive eyebrow raise, but thankfully she hadn’t pried any further.

With slightly wobbly legs I stepped out of her office and thanked her again, my feet quite automatically walking back the path they had came; through the long hallway, past the waiting room and then to the elevator. But..I never quite made it to the elevator in one line, my eyes catching something quite unexpected in the waiting room.

‘Chris?’ I gasped quietly, seeing a familiar face amongst the waiting patients, a very young blonde woman right beside him, their hands entangled. I felt my heart, my soul, my everything, sink like a block of concrete to the bottom of the ocean.

She was expecting.

His large hazelnut eyes stared at me in slight shock, hands quickly disentangling from his new..lover. Lover. He had a pregnant lover. Was it his? OH FUCKING HELL. ‘Ali..hey..what a..surprise.’ He scrambled up to his feet and pulled a warm smile to his hesitant face. He felt most obviously very caught in the act.

How many months would she be? Obviously more than three or four months. Had he..had he been..cheating on me? I stared blankly at him, not quite sure of what to say.

‘Quite a surprise.’ I muttered, nodding while looking over his shoulder at the surprised looking woman. ‘It’s always good to see a friend.’ Chris smiled, pressing a large hand on my shoulder to steer me to a corner of the waiting room. ‘..Look..please don’t make a scene. Please.’ He whispered, his mouth remaining curled in a wide, friendly smile, acting as if nothing was amiss.

I couldn’t breathe. I just..couldn’t breathe, my eyes staring at him with disbelief.

HOW COULD HE?!

Wishing to not show him my tears - tears that long dared to spill during the doctor’s visit - I quickly shook my head and wished him a good day, my feet hasting off towards the elevator.

HOW COULD HE, HOW COULD HE?!

It seemed to take ages before the metal doors of the elevator finally slid closed, my eyes pricking with angry tears. And as the elevator started to descend, my organs feeling the mild drop of the cabin, my tears started to descend too. Heavy, wet and desperate. How could he..how could he…ARGHHH!!!

—

‘Hen.’ I muttered through the phone, my voice still weak and cracking.

‘Hey you.’ He said gently, easily picking up on my distress, his voice even lower and more soothing than usual.

‘Can I come over for a hug?’ My voice was but a mere whisper, but he heard it all the same. ‘Of course sweetie.’

Oh Henry, if only all things in life were this easy.

—

‘Hey.’ I stalled at the doorway of his parents’ study, the desk Henry was sitting at completely filled with large piles of what appeared to be scripts and administrational work. He looked up, his face immediately relaxing into one of tenderness. He sighed and turned in his chair, tapping both hands on his thick thighs, gesturing me to come sit on his lap.

No words were needed as I gladly crawled into the warmth of his embrace, my nose still sniffling after a near hour of non-stop crying in my bedroom. I needed him and I was glad he was here.

I could feel his hand just gently running through my hair, all the way back down to my lower back, his face studying mine. We just sat there for a few long minutes, quietly, some lone tears drifting down from my red eyes.

‘I’m just so sad.’ I muttered, another spill of tears bursting out, flooding my reddened cheeks. I gulped and heaved, not being able to stop myself from releasing all the sorrow and pain.

It was just something about Henry that made me lower my guards. A little more each time we were together.

‘It’s okay, Ali. Sshh..’ Henry’s voice swam warm and soothing through the shell of my ear, his breath brushing through my messy hair. Oh how I wished I could just disappear right here in his lap. How good and fitting an end it would be for me.

Alice, the girl who fell down the deep black hole of adulthood until she was no more.

And how awful I was for not telling him why I was crying so. I had to make sure I’d tell him, or it would simply become too difficult. But not now. First..tears.

More long minutes crawled by as the new onslaught of tears finally subsided, Henry still not saying a word, his large arms just keeping me close and safe, hands running deliberate circles over my back.

I sniffled one more time, wiping the tears on the sleeve of my shirt before finally sitting up a bit and looking Henry in the eye. Those big, blue oceans of care and comfort looking back at me with…love. Or something like that.

‘Thanks for that.’ I breathed, inhaling deep and sharp. Henry smiled and shrugged simply. ‘I’m glad to be of service milady.’

I sighed, looking over his desk, an iPad laying forlorn in the corner. ‘Yep, read your blog.’ He hummed, smiling into my ear. I raised an eyebrow at him, my eyes red and agitated from all the tears. ‘You don’t have to, you know.’ I whispered. He chuckled, shaking his head. ‘I wouldn’t miss them for the world. I love knowing what is going on with you.’

‘And horror movies..?’

‘Mm..you know me..can’t stand females screaming.’

‘Oh papa bear gets protective then, hmm?’ I teased, the first glimmer of a smile appearing back on my lips. Henry laughed. ‘Maybe a little.’

‘Oh…Henry…come save me!’ I swooned with a bit of theatricality, my hand moving to rest on my forehead, eyes gazing desperately into the distance. When he didn’t immediately respond, his eyebrows just rising in amusement, I further exaggerated my flailing body, letting myself near drop off his lap.

‘Wow..’ Henry quickly grabbed onto me, pulling me more firmly into his chest, ‘..okay..I’ve got you.’ He sniffled. We looked at each other for an amused second before we both burst out laughing, my face now happily snuggling into his neck and my nose sniffing up that undefinable smell that was Henry’s musk. I was the fair maiden in the prince’s arms, ready to take on any horror that was to be survived.

And darn..How I loved his smell.

‘Hmm…thanks for allowing me to be here Hen.’ I hummed, making him lean back a little his large thumb moving to stroke over my heated cheeks, removing the last of the remains of salty tears from my skin. Without words required he leaned into me, offering me a much more practised kiss then that very awkward..first..puppy..

‘Ooh..hair..’ He muttered, hovering back a little and reaching for his mouth to pull out a hair.

OH GODS…we both laughed aloud.

‘This is terrible.’ I blushed through our laughter. ‘No it’s not.’ Henry smiled, brushing all hair out of my face before pulling me back to his lips. ‘It’s perfect.’ He whispered onto my lips, trying again.

—

And yes, we watched a horror movie that night from my vast collection of classics, Henry’s arm near choking me whenever a woman screamed, his muscles tightening around my rib cage until I was sure there would be bruises. But ..I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

My heart and soul fluttered, and that is all I really wanted and needed, my reservations for a possible relationship with Henry slowly fading into the background.

General tagsquad: @harrysthiccthighss @tumblnewby @magdelen69 @thereisa8ella @mary-ann84 @darkbooksarwin @summersong69

Fluff lovers squad: @star017 @perhaps2remember @pterodactylterrace @witchersqueen @desperate-and-broken @toomanyfandomsshreya @deliciouslysassyarcade @pamacs-macs @cavilladdict @scorpionchild81 @lebguardians @sofiebstar @amberbabem @mis-lil-red @aestheticqueenb @misslalaland-blog-blog @ilieherecharmed-fics2readnrec @michelehansel @henryfanfics101

Want to be added to or removed from the tag list? Shoot me a message!

#henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x author #henry cavill x OC #henry cavill fluff #fluff #romcom #horror #case of the ex #cheating #planned motherhood #cuddles #henry bear #the marriage pact #thriller nights

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soulsofanarchyyyi · 4 years ago

Note

💏 - from Angel to Cordy

fifty ways to kiss someone. send me a 💏 and i will randomise a number in order for my muse to kiss yours…

@immortalwoes

18 …as encouragement.

things has been weird lately, especially with the whole being a HIGHER being, coming back and having amnesia then memories being and then being haunted by a rokcy monster, ready to flinch the earth and kill everyone, VAMPIRE or not. the team was out there and angel was on his office, bringing up tactics of how to defeat the monster that seemed to know him. or at least, the half ass bad side of him with no soul that went grrrr and arghhh every time blood surfaced and changed his visage. the vision entered, a sigh falling from her lips. they didn’t have time to speak, to decide PRIOR of what things could have happened and become if things didn’t get in the way. so she decided to deal with it in a cordelia chase fashion.

advancing swiftly, she placed her hands against each side of his pale face and brought their lips in a kiss. a soft kiss, a gentle kiss. an ENCOURAGING kiss? it held for few seconds before she slowly drifted apart and looked into his eyes.

‘ you got it champ. as you have always, it doesn’t matter if you know karate or kung fu. it mattters that you have the heart of a warrior. the kindness of one, one of the many reasons why i have fallen for you.’

#meme answer #storisos #visiongirl #an alternate thing in season 4 #where cordy wasn't possesed by jasmine when she had her memories back #and eventully she goes forth to her romance with angel #you can continue this if you want to #:)#iconless since i am not on my laptop #immortalwoes

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chaotic-noceur · 4 years ago

Text

regarding pragma.

read it here

Dear @softpedropascal

wow this took so much longer than I thought it would whoops.

So, first off- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you have the bestest day ever cuz you deserve it!

I’m incapable of forming coherent thoughts so um...here’s a cumulative post of my running commentary because my binge reading plans got disrupted so this seemed... neater? Idk. anyways, here you go.

Part 1

No matter how many meetings and mediations you two went through, he still found a reason to keep dragging this out.

I read this as ‘meetings and meditations’ and was very confused for a sec 😂

That hat. You got him that hat. He still wore it?

omg u gave the hat a backstory. adkgadflhg 😍

He was tempted. God, was he tempted, but he shook his head and stood up straight.

This just. Yes. We love a respectful man.

I love all the little hints that you’re dropping about the reader and Frankie’s backstory.

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 2

He told himself long ago that be would never forgive her for what she did,

WHAT DID I DO OMG.

“Can’t you, I dunno, sign for him?” he asked.

😂😂Frankie. Sweetheart. Who do you take me for? I can’t forge someone’s signature. I don’t have the skills for that.

There was a reason he didn’t say goodbye. He was afraid to. He was afraid that if he said them again, he would have to go another five years without seeing her. Or has it been longer?

mY hEaRt

Pope and and Frankie’s ENTIRE interaction. 😍 I love that he can see right through Frankie’s bs, loves him anyways but will give it to him straight.

He was too busy thinking about how if he had gotten his shit together, he could be living here with her, taking walks to his favorite lake every day.

asdfgadfkglhdf!!! Boo it ain’t all your fault 😢 (or is it 😏)

It’s funny how the simplest touch can cause the most complex feelings—feelings that he had sworn he buried deep inside of him somewhere. It was a complicated thing trying to be angry at her because in that moment all was forgotten and forgiven.

the DEPTH. in these sentences. oml. I’m so ready to learn about this complicated backstory.

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 3

“I can make him sign ‘em,” he offered.

YES. I love a low key threatening boi.

“Yeah, until you decided I wasn’t good enough,”

“Did you want to show me what I could have had with you if I wasn’t such a fuck up.” He sighed and put his hands on his hips.

AFGHSKF OMG MY HEART.

“I’m trailing water and mud all over the place but just remember that I saved your life before getting mad, okay?”

“Nothing. Just like saying your name.”

ahhhh these are precious!!

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 4

“Yeah. People do that right? Day dates?” He honestly wasn’t sure. Dates weren’t his forte.

🥺 someone help him. He’s so cute omg.

“We might’ve made out a little too,” he mumbled.

aksfhksdfg look at him turning into a flustered boy!!!

“No. I just…stopped looking up,”

Babes. Idk if the double meaning was intentional but like. Wow. That hit hard.

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 5

and has a name like ‘Bill’ or ‘Tom’.”

oop. We love a subtle Redfly dig 😂

!!!! IDK WHAT TO BLOCKQUOTE BUT OMG FRANKIE BEING PROTECTIVE. THE READERS BACKSTORY. FRANKIE KISSING AT THE PAST BRUISES. ANGRY FRANKIE OMG. 😭

I’m sorry there’s probably some more amazing stuff after that but t’was not a good ace day so i skipped the smut

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 6

You hid your body from him at first and when he moved your hands, you covered your face. Then he told you to never hide from him—he would always think you were beautiful

🥺🥺 this is so soft omg

sorry skipped the smut but im sure it was beautiful

“I’m not going anywhere.” You moved his arms so you could kneel in front of him. “I’m staying.”

*incoherent screaming*

“You can ask me for anything. I would give up everything I for you.”

The whole ending scene was AMAZING okay but this. This line right here. Big hurt omg. He knows the weight of what he’s saying. He knows how hard the road to recovery is and how many things are gonna try push him off that path. But he says it anyways. And it really really shows just how much she means to him. Brava!

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 7

lmao I really need to start reading the warnings 😂

She was never going to be sad longer than necessary if he had anything to do about it.

WHERE CAN I GET A FRANKIE OML 😭

“That no matter where we were, when we look up, we’re looking at the same moon.” He looked at her though she was still looking up. “That always kept me going, you know?”

THE SOFT. AHHHHHH

The moonlight seemed to shine directly on her and make her glow like some ethereal being. She was an angel. She had to be. The stars twinkled above them but he had his own right here right now.

eXcUsE mE. wHo gAvE yOu tHe rIgHt tO wRiTe sOmEtHIng tHiS bEAuTiFul

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 8

“Stop ruining my romantic moment, please.

HAHAHAH I LOVE!

I can’t even- Omg. This whole chapter. I have no words

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 9

“I can’t,” he said, voice broken. “Please just let me…let me hold you. Let me…”

IDK THE FULL CONTEXT TO THIS (really hating my ace-ness rn cuz this last line is so heartfelt) BUT OMG BROKEN FRANKIE I JUST. ARGHHH

you realized that you were embracing your entire world right then and there. Letting it go would be the hardest thing you’d ever do.

take my heart and crush it why don’t you omg. 😭😍

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 10

She was hurt again. And it was his fault again.

I can’t do it. I can’t be alone anymore.

asdfghjk GURL. WHO HURT YOU OMG. LEMME HURT THEM BACK.

His world spun and he felt like he was falling. He fell and fell into the abyss with no one there to save him as the bag felt like it was burning a hole in his hand. Is it hot? He felt hot. Burning up. Had he finally died and gone to hell? God knows that’s where he belonged.

No. It’s just an overwhelming darkness. Nothing. And that’s what he wanted, right? To feel nothing.

*VERY INCOHERENT SCREAMING* This is beautiful writing omg. The raw emotion in this. Holy hell.

oml. That transition from pure pain and angst into love just *chefs kiss*. Frankie deserves so much 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 11

“It wasn’t supposed to make you cry,”

wHat eLsE wAs iT sUpPoSeD tO dO omg.

This whole chapter was SO CUTE!!! The way that Frankie just knows things about her. UGH.

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 12

“What if it’s big and pulls me in?!”

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY OMG

“I don’t wanna die,” he whispered.

His life felt as though it was falling apart all over again and he realized it was because she was the one that held him together and now that he was leaving, everything was one big mess again.

*inaudible screaming*

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 13

That ending tho! I love that you gave them their own little thing with the moon. Its so sweet 🥰and the Pope-Frankie friendship moments. *melts*

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 14

okay i was gonna blockquote but there was too much to quote This whole chapter felt so raw omg. If you’re pulling from real experience then I’m so sorry you ever had to go through that *pulls you into the biggest hug ever* (assuming you like hugs, if you don’t... i send you an affectionate ‘rubbing my forehead into your shoulder’)

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 15

“You could’ve walked in here with your head shaved and I’d still love it…but…please don’t.”

😂 yessss give me the humour in this sad

still haven’t learnt to read the warnings oml 🤦🏻‍♀️

ahhhh the soft reassuring Frankie content!!!!

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 16

“Probably because it’s Wednesday,” he said.

“It is?” you asked.

“Yeah. What day did you think it was?”

I FEEL SO ATTACKED OMG. What even is time anymore.

asfadsdfgdhk Its so SOFFTTT. Is this what it’s like to fall in love??😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 17

hallelujah i’ve finally learnt to read the warnings

ngaww Frankie being all excited and soft 🥺🥺 are they going camping?? are we gonna get Frankie in his element??

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 18

I’m as flat as a board back there.

I feel attacked and this wasn’t even directed at me oml 😂😂

tHeY aRe sO iN lOvE oMg 😍

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 19

I get it, it’s embarrassing, but I’m not judging you for it.

YES. In this house, we don’t judge people who are struggling to find jobs!

“I wouldn’t say them if you didn’t deserve them. You deserve good things, Frankie. You may not feel like you do but you do. Always.”

He sighed and rubbed your back. “If you say it then it must be true.”

*incoherent screaming* we all deserve good things okay 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 20

thank you for the warnings that i’ve finally learnt to read before reading the fic

What if I’m a lost cause? Just some pathetic druggie who can’t get his shit together…mooching off his girl.

NOOO You’re not just some pathetic druggie Frankie😭😭

“Sleepovers? Do I get to paint your nails? Do your hair?”

Our love has aged gracefully kinda like us.

THE SOFT OMG 🥺🥺

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 21

“With all due respect, sir, I’m not and have never been an addict. Yeah, I did drugs. Yes, I hurt your daughter and she had to leave, but you know what, we’re together now and nothing’s gonna change that. She’s forgiven me and she loves me and that’s all that matters.”

YAS. I love this change from nervous wreck to confidence!

This is so happy and soft and sweet oml. My angsty soul doesn’t know how to deal. 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 22

Sweet baby jesus. It was soft. And then it was not. And then it was soft again and I just. *incoherent screaming* GURL.

❖❖❖❖❖

ludus

I’m gonna have a house right on the other side of the lake.

asdfgI I Have Feelings.

GURLLL. This was so innocent!! They’re both so young and cute and asgalsfjghsd.

❖❖❖❖❖

eros

“Are you running away from something?” she asked, and he bristled. “From me because you love me and don’t know how to say it?”

*incoherent screaming* well shit. you go gurl! you call him on his crap!

I skimmed the smut but like Frankie being a nervous wreck is 🥺

If you wanna see someone else while I’m gone, you can.

*more screaming because OMG if only he knew what that would lead to*

❖❖❖❖❖

ania

O damn. I kinda loved his slow descend into darkness... The fact that the reader still clings on to hope and love and just, damn. I’m lost for words.

❖❖❖❖❖

coda

...

that’s all my brain feels right now. that was dark, but like. a good dark. It was heart wrenching but beautiful and- “I won’t be able to find you if I’m lost myself,” THIS. I just. *chefs kiss* but also, *ugly sobbing*.

#pragma commentary

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space-princess-genesis · 5 years ago

Text

Comfort (Kabal x Genesis (OC))

(Hello wonderful people! Yes! I wrote my first smut piece for Kabal and Genesis. Its filled with angst, smut, and fluff all in one piece! Since it very sinful, its under the cut. Also, I actually have no hard feelings toward Kano in any way, but I know most of y’all aren’t too keen with him so he’s a warning. Also, I’m sorry if it’s mediocre, I haven’t wrote anything in a long while, so pardon my rust. Big shoutout to @generalasshattery for some tips and tricks! Love you! Enjoy!)

Pairing: Kabal x Genesis (OC)

Words: 4,200

Warnings: 18+, slight mentions of rape, angst, fluff. Kano.

Kabal and Genesis had just gotten back to their apartment. The ride back was stone cold silent, so silent a hooksword could cut the tension. The two were frustrated - well, Kabal was more frustrated than her. Kabal thought it would be a good idea to take his Space Princess girlfriend as he likes to call her sometimes to the headquarters of the Black Dragon for a short visit. Kabal wanted Genesis to make some friends because she had started to feel a little lonely because of his crazy work schedule - with him being a mercenary and all. He couldn’t be there for her the majority of the week, minus the late evenings and weekends. Genesis had a small number of friends but they were either too far away, or too busy. Whenever she would make plans with a friend who was close by, they would always cancel plans last minute, leaving Genesis alone with nothing to do, waiting for Kabal to come home wondering why Genesis is still home? Shouldn’t she be with a friend of hers right now? Kabal didn’t understand why someone would cancel on her. C’mon, she’s a SPACE PRINCESS for pete’s sake! Who wouldn’t want to ravel in that friendship? He loved her dearly, and does his best to help her.

_“Are you sure you want me to come?” Genesis was worried because many of Kabal’s “friends” in the past had felt the need to try and put her hands on her (with Kabal gladly sticking a hooksword up the ass). “Hey, promise you’ll be right next to me at all times, unless I have small important shit to do… I’ll make sure no one, and I mean NO ONE, will lay their hands upon you.” Kabal insisted this. Genesis smiled at her loving boyfriend she floats up to him and pecked him on the lips.“Okay, I promise..” _

_The day had went by wonderfully. Genesis had already gotten a couple of numbers from some Black Dragon ladies (and a few Black Dragon men) which in return, made Kabal happy. He’s so ecstatic Genesis is going to get out and about and not be alone.“See! I told you should come! Look at you! You lil’ social butterfly.” Kabal says as he grabs her shoulders and smiles at her. “You were right. I feel good, I feel really good!” Kabal had started to feel a warmth in his heart. This is the first time in a short while that Genesis has talked with new people, let alone be it Kabal’s cohorts. Genesis is really giddy inside and is excited to hang out with some new friends. Kabal checks the time and realizes he has to do a quick meeting with some rookies about a small mission coming up. “Shit. I need to go to a meeting. Come on.” Hand in hand, the two walk over to the meeting room; luckily there’s a bench next to the door. “Hey babe, this will be a quick one. Wait here for me okay?” Kabal gestures to the bench and is halfway through the door. “Okay. I’ll be here.” Genesis goes to sit down and waves to Kabal, in which he waves back and closes the door. _

Half an hour had passed and Genesis is playing on her phone. Mostly scrolling through the Twitter beef page and scrolling what photo of Kabal and her should she should post, just minding her own business. However, that peace is short-lived, as the last person she expects is walking down the hallway, and towards her as well. He stands right in front of her, and that thick Australian mouth blabbers:“Ello’ love, long time no see?” Kano. Out of all the people in the world. KANO. “Oh hi Kano…it has been a long time has is?” she says uncomfortably. It really hasn’t been a long time. The last time Genesis has seen Kano was the previous month in which Kabal had taken Genesis to a party which Kano was at and had gotten his drunken ass in the pool. And nobody knew how. “Where’s ya knight in shining armor love?” Kano had always thought Genesis was a treasure to have and own; however, when he would see her, he would always want to approach her. Much to his dismay, Kano would always be met with a soul-staring, cock-blocking, Kabal, but here, in this very moment, Kabal was nowhere to be seen. He had gotten his chance.“In a meeting in that room…” She gestures over to the door where Kabal is having his meeting. Kano looks back a the door. Kabal wasn’t going to walk out anytime soon. “Well then, this will be our time to…chat up yea?” With Kano being this suggestive, Genesis had gotten totally uncomfortable. This is Kano, one of the most vile people in all of Earthrealm. She didn’t want to be around him at all, unless Kabal was with her. Unfortunately, Kabal was still in his meeting. So, Genesis had come up with an excuse so she could get out of this situation.“Uh yeah. Hey, so, I need to go so I’ll catch up with you later. ‘kay? Bye!” As Genesis got up as fast as she could, Kano grabs her wrist and pulls her into his embrace. Her worst fear had finally come to life. Kano had put his hands around her, and Kabal was nowhere to been seen. He reeked of alcohol, specifically beer, and it was bothering Genesis. Not knowing what to do in this moment, Genesis fears for her life, what was he going to do to her? She didn’t want to think the worst possible outcome, but she wished Kabal would be here right this instance. “But we were just getting started love! So, would you like a taste of Australia’s best saus -“ Kano is interrupted with a hand grabbing his ear. It was Kabal. What a relief. “Excuse me.” Kabal drags Kano by the ear into an empty room. Let’s say that there was a lot of punches heard, some metal breaking and a possible hooksword up the ass. Kabal walks out and grabs her hand. “We are going home, NOW.” The last glimpse Genesis got of Kano was his metal eye busted, bruises all over the body, and a bloodied ass. What would happen now?. All she could do was wait. Wait for a talk. A calm chat? Maybe not. A heated talk? Most defiantly…

Kabal’s back is toward Genesis. She couldn’t tell if he was angry at her, or himself. He puts his hands on his hips and sighs. Meanwhile, Genesis is stifling up tears, eventually turning into full-on tears. “How long was he near you?” Kabal says in a low tone. Genesis could tell he was pissed, VERY pissed. “A few minutes. ” Tears were in-between her words. “What did he say to you?” sounding slightly annoyed, he continues to ask questions. “He…was about to say something about his…sausage…” Just saying the word disgusted Genesis. Who in the world calls their dick a sausage? “Shit…how could he…How could I have been so fucking stupid to leave you alone! Especially with Kano running around! I knew he would get the chance to puts his arms around you when I wasn’t around! Arghhh… I’m just so…so…fuck…” Kabal had raised his tone. He sighs and puts a hand to his forehead. He was angry. Angry and frustrated. He promised her that no one would lay their hands on her. He realizes that he broke his promise and now, he’s pissed. Kabal turns around to see Genesis on the ground crying. He cools his temper as he sees her so distressed. Why was she crying? He wasn’t pissed off with her, his was pissed off of himself. She didn’t do anything that would make him angry at her. It was the thought of Kano around her. What if Kabal hadn’t walked into the situation in time? What if Kano had gone further? What if he had raped her? Kabal didn’t want to think about these issues, but he couldn’t push them away. These thoughts are then suddenly pushed away as he immediately fall to the ground and embraces her. “I’m so sorry Gen… I should have let you in the room with me…I didn’t know what I was thinking… I’m sorry…I’m fucking sorry.” He keeps apologizing hoping for her to accept it. She reaches her arms around Kabal’s waist and rests her hands on his back. He pets her purple gradient hair and rubs her back. The embrace goes on for a few minutes. He wanted to stay like this forever, with Genesis in his loving arms. But, he suddenly feels an urge within him. Something is crawling deep within his body - an animal, and an angry one. And it’s wanting to release. With his head in the crook of her neck, he starts to kiss her up her neck, to her cheek, and finally on her lips. The kiss starts out sweet but eventually turns deep, and then deeper. Kabal eventually breaks off and carries Genesis off into their bedroom.

Kabal lays Genesis down on the bed and climbs on top of her and starts to make-out again, but this time, more aggressively. His hands are running up and down her body. Touching and feeling every crevice of her supple body. Surprisingly, Genesis is enjoying this more rough and rowdy Kabal. Usually when the two have sex, it can go two different ways. One way could be cute, soft, and intimate, while the other way could be passionate and downright dirty. But this time, it’s different; Kabal has a wild animal inside of him - an angry, pissed off animal wanting to unleash. But, he just can’t release this animal out on Genesis, he can’t stand to see her clawed out by this animal. However, he really regrets leaving her alone; out in the open air for Kano to sniff her out. He has to make it up to her. He proceeds to quickly remove her shirt and her shorts, leaving her exposed and in a matching lingerie set that Kabal bought for her. He looks at her face, oh that face, makes him so wild. He runs his eyes up and down her body, and bites his lips. Just the look of her so vulnerable makes Kabal’s sex-filled imagination run wild. He dips his head into the valley of her breasts and starts to kiss her chest, with little pecks all around eventually turning rougher. He then reaches around her to unclasp her bra and remove it, which exposes her breasts to him. He massages them before diving in and encasing her left nipple in his mouth while massaging and kneading the neglected one. “Ngh… Kabal…ahh…” She moans softly as Kabal continues to work at her nipple, even biting it a couple of times. He then switches over to the other breast and continues to do what he did to the other one. Her continuous moans and whimpers stir his already throbbing cock. He starts to bite harder and Genesis begins feeling a discomfort at her nipple. “Ahh… Kabal, just… a little too much…ouch…” Genesis whispers out. Kabal began getting a little too rough on her. With the whole situation that happened earlier with Kano and his built up anger, he couldn’t fully control himself. “Sorry Gen, got a little carried away.…” He manages to blurt that out. She smiles at him though, because no matter what he always listens to her. Even all the other times they have had sex, Genesis would always let Kabal know if he was going too hard. If she told him that he was being too rough, he would start to get a better hold on himself. But right now with this notion to ravage on her, there will probably be no sense of control for Kabal. He leaves her chest area and makes his way up to her neck leaving short, sweet kisses and bites on the way. He begins kissing and biting on her soft, tender, midnight skin. All while also rubbing her other little sweet spot down under. He sucks on that little sweet spot under her ear. Genesis gasps out in pleasure as Kabal continues to suck the skin. “Ah!” She yelps out in pleasure. Kabal grins underneath her and continues sucking and kissing every square inch of her neck, going rough every few suckles and rubbing her clit at the same time. He stops to take a look at what he did to her neck. Gosh his cock is throbbing even more just looking at her. The animal in him it clawing even more. No, he can’t, he needs to control it. Kabal kisses down her body again, but goes down further. Landing a kiss on her stomach, Genesis lets out a short giggle. He needed something to hear that wasn’t so sinful. He takes his hands and spreads Genesis’s legs apart and caresses her inner thighs. The sound of her giggles calms down Kabal’s raging animal a little bit. Hopefully it will say down for just a bit longer. He then kisses her inner thighs leading down to her already soaking wet panty. However, he suddenly is halted by her foot. “You seem a little overdressed for this occasion right?” Genesis says sarcastically. Kabal rolls his eyes and proceeds to remove the upper part of his gear to reveal more of his muscled body which is already beaded with sweat. Which is unusual for him as he doesn’t sweat this much. This damn animal… As he’s about to dip down into her wetness, again, a foot halts him, but this time, at his chest. Genesis, feeling a little cheeky at the moment, glides her foot down slowly to Kabal’s clothed painfully throbbing cock and rubs it. Oh, this riles him up; he lets out a slow grunt and quickly proceeds to take his pants off. He quickly takes off the rest of his clothing, along with his underwear. Then he removes her underwear within lighting speed and throws it God-knows where in the room. His held-back animal is already starting to show. And Genesis has no clue that it’s there, wanting to eat her up.

Trying to compose himself again, he takes a deep breath and tries not to rush into eating out Genesis. Instead, he kisses her inner thigh slowly again, but steadily. This time there’s no giggles, just moans. Finally reaching her sensitive spot, Kabal begins to lick up and down her slick opening. With pleasure filling her up, Genesis grips tightly at the sheets. Moans, pants, and growls fill the room as Kabal eats out Genesis. Kabal then inserts his tongue into Genesis’s slick opening. With a sharp gasp, Genesis screams out in pleasure. “Oh gods! Aah..Kabal!”. With his princess moaning his name out so lovely, Kabal grips onto her hips tighter and goes deeper. The feel of Kabal’s tongue feels so good for Genesis. It’s actually one of his favorite things for him to do for her. He loves giving, especially to his princess. Her pants start to quicken as she feels a knot quickly forming in her stomach. Kabal senses this and stops. He kisses up her body quickly and lands on her lips again. God, he couldn’t get enough of those lips. He couldn’t get enough of her… gosh, he couldn’t think of other words to describe her. Perfect, maybe? He positions himself in front of her entrance and slowly sheaths himself in her. It took a lot of holding back not to ram into her. But the animal; oh the animal that’s inside him is still trying to claw its way out. He’s just furious with himself for leaving Genesis alone. Fucking Kano, of course he would. Of fucking course he would. From the point in which he walked out of his meeting and saw Kano’s arms on her, his rage meter had risen to maximum level. Even going savage on Kano’s ass didn’t even cool down his anger. He tries to suppress that recent memory in the back of his head as he starts moving in her. Genesis coos out in pleasure. Just seeing that face of pleasure on her makes further stimulates him. He continues to pump into her, the memories of what had happened earlier crawl faster and faster back into Kabal’s mind, and his thrusts start to become rougher and he goes faster as he loses himself in his thoughts. The sound of skin against skin becomes more prominent. Right now, he needed to release his anger. His thoughts consume him even more as he starts pounding into her. Kano hands around Genesis. Fuck. He wished he’d sliced him in half. Let alone stick it up his ass. If he had seen him do anything else to her. Oh boy. He would’ve gone beast mode on Kano. All the these thoughts fully consume him as he’s continuing to pump into her. He is soon consumed in all these thoughts and doesn’t realize how hard he’s thrusting into her. Now he’s completely lost in his thoughts. The animal that is inside him; the one he tried his hardest to suppress, has been released. Soon enough, he grabs onto her hips and pounds harder and faster. Kabal’s movements become so sloppy and rough, that his rhythm is thrown off-balance. With his mind is so focused on what happened earlier, he could not care less on how he was performing. The worst thing is, he doesn’t realize the sounds of pain coming from Genesis. “Kabal…stop…” Genesis weeps out. He doesn’t stop; he can’t stop. The thoughts of Kano on Genesis continues to enrage him. Situations start to unfurl in his mind. One in which he hadn’t walked out in time, and one where he walks into well… he REALLY didn’t want to think about that one. But the sounds of crying and whimpers seem deaf to him. “Kabal!…Stop!…Please! It hurts!” Genesis cries out. Kabal is snapped back into reality and looks to see Genesis in tears. He immediately stops and removes himself out of her. “Shit…” Kabal mutters under his breath. He’s horrified. He had just hurt his sweetheart in the worst way possible.

“Fuck…Gen…I’m sorry…I…I…fuck…” Kabal didn’t know the rights words to say. Sorry wasn’t going cut it. Before he could say anything else, a soft hand reaches up toward his face, and lands on his cheek. “Kabal…calm down…” She whispers softly and looks deep into those chocolate eyes that she loves so much. He looks back into her teary-eyed white pupils which always seemed to always sparkle for him. He nuzzles into the palm of her hand, and grabs it only to remove it from his face. He feels like he doesn’t deserve this empathy. Ashamed of himself, he moves to the edge of the bed. He leans forward with his forehead in the palms of his hands. “I couldn’t control myself Gen… It’s just…seeing you with fucking Kano arms wrapped around you…just fucking made me so…mad…this thing, this animal inside me just was fucking clawing me on the inside…I just lost myself… I’m fucking sorry Gen…” Kabal didn’t know what else to say. Again, he could only apologize. He screwed up big time. The next thing surprises Kabal, with all her strength that she has left, she hugs him from behind. “It’s okay…” She give Kabal a small peck on his cheek, but that doesn’t seem forgiving for him. “No, it’s not… I hurt you Gen…I can’t forgive myself for that…” Genesis could tell he’s in total distress. He rarely showed vulnerability like this, even in front of her.“I can forgive you… I will always forgive you. No matter what… I love you Kabal.” Kabal turns his head over to look at Genesis. He puts his hand on her cheek and kisses her. The kiss is intimate. More intimate than what had happened a few moments ago. Suddenly, Kabal lifts Genesis bridal style and walks over to the bathroom.

He sets her down on the toilet and starts to run a bath for her. He goes over to their small bath bomb basket and picks out her favorite one from Lush: Goddess. The bathtub becomes full and the submerged bath bomb is fizzing. He lifts Genesis from the toilet and sets her down into the warm water. “You sure you don’t wanna come in?” She asks because Kabal is just sitting on the stool next to the bathtub. The stool made for when Kabal didn’t feel like joining Genesis in the bathtub, but still wants to have their usual chats. Kabal takes a moment to think about joining in, because he originally made the bath for her, but with what happened moments ago, he feels the need to join her. Plus, he can’t deny his princess. “Move a little forward ‘kay?” Genesis nudges a little forward so that Kabal can be behind her and hold her from behind. Kabal steps afoot into the lavender colored water, and sits behind Genesis, with her in between his legs. He snakes his arms around her so that she could lay atop of his chest. He holds her like a porcelain doll. Delicately, as she was about to break.

Silence. With the exception of the water droplets leaking from the bath faucet everything is silent. Kabal in the meantime nuzzles his head into the crook of Genesis’s neck. She felt the warm breath from his nose against her skin. “Genesis…” It was the first time in the night he had used her full name. “Hm?” Probably another apology, but she still listened. “I love you…” He kissed the top of her forehead. “I love you too.” Suddenly, stars appeared on her body - with the occasional shooting star on her. This meant Genesis was in total love. “Hehe, their back…” Kabal said with a slight chuckle. The stars would appear either when the two had finished sex or if Genesis was deep in love. Kabal loved whenever the stars would appear because they could move to his touch. He would always make-up constellations and little shapes, but his favorite thing to do was move them to Genesis’s chest area and make a heart that would sit above her own. Which is what he did in this instance. It was a little awkward because he wasn’t facing her, but he tried his best. When he’s done, Genesis looks down and sees something that resembled a heart. She giggles and says, “Wow! Well done Picasso!”. Kabal almost takes offense to this because he worked hard on that heart. He quickly puts his lips to her neck and makes a fart sound against it. Genesis then lets out this big ole’ giggle which puts a smile on Kabal’s face. “You butt! Oh my gosh!” She continues to laugh and decides to turn around and lay on Kabal chest to chest and do the same thing to him as well, but on his chest. “WHAT THE FUCK THAT FEELS WERID”. Genesis giggles even more as Kabal is shook. They both calm done quickly and look in each eyes again and smile. Genesis lays down on his chest with an ear to his chest so she could hear his heartbeat. It’s beating, steadily - and she smiles. Oh how she loved to hear his heartbeat. Kabal lays his hand on her head and pets her hair. The two remain like this for at least twenty more minutes before Kabal’s fingers started to prune up.

After their bath, Kabal suggested to order in some food, with Genesis choosing of course. But Genesis wanted to try something different, so she asked Kabal to surprise her. He ordered some light Italian food from this new place that just opened a bit ago. She’s never had Italian food so se was excited. The two eat, and watch a movie afterwords. It’s another princess movie, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves - what a classic. Genesis really enjoyed it, maybe just a little too much. Now she’s going to be humming “Someday My Prince Will Come” for a week and Kabal will regret ever showing it to her. The two then stumble off to bed, while Kabal carrying her of course. She lays her in bed and turns off the light. The light from the moon is shining through the blinds, leaving a light glow on whatever surface it touches. Genesis quickly falls asleep, but Kabal is still up. He looked down at her. He moved some strands from her face to get a good look at her. Gosh, she’s beautiful. He smiles as he watches her peacefully sleep. He kisses the top of her forehead before going to sleep himself. The last thought before he goes to sleep is how the boss man is probably going to give him a work suspension or something. Like that mattered, more time to spend with Genesis right?

#kabal x genesis #first fic #smut #angst #fluff #Mortal Kombat #mortal kombat oc #oc #kabal #princess genesis

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boymeetsweevil · 6 years ago

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THANK YOU

I’m just crying no big deal thank you for being so kind i’m gonna go curl up a d*e now :’)

HONEYYYYY 💕💕💕💕 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU!!! For Science was beautiful and I loved every bit of it. Bot matter the wait, its completely worth it because you put so much thought into it. The ending was so nice and im so happy for oc and kookie. Please keep up with your amazing writing love ❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

i just read fs7 for a second time (bc yes i had to read it twice to fully take it in) and oh my god it’s so amazing 😭😭 you really outdid yourself w this series. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve read through it all and i love it even more every time i do. you’re such a talented writer honestly thank you so much for gifting us this fic ❤️

The ending to FS was so authentic!! Awkward and mushy and funny and hot! You really did their relationship justice. Thank you for putting in so much work I'm so happy the series ended this way. You're amazing!

FS7 was a fuckin ride and it was everything I could’ve wanted and more 😫💘 it was amazing like I honestly can’t put into words how satisfying it was but I was smiling sm while reading 🤧 you’re so talented thank you for writing this masterpiece!! FS FINALEEEE IM CRYINGGGGG UWUUUUUUUUU

haaaaaaiiiii just wanna say those 27k words of amazingness was SO worth the wait! thank you so much for the FS series, you did great and can't wait to read more stories from you <33

The last part of for science ahhhhh I screamed! I loved and missed the whole friend group and you put so many funny one liners your dialogue is so natural and entertaining

FS! Oh man where do I start... it was so so so sososososooooo good!!! THE WHOLE SERIES IS JUST SOOOO GOOD. THEY WAY U WRITE IS SO FREAKING WONDERFUL. The scenarios aren’t cheesy or too overtop, the feelings and everything are just sooo realllll. YOUR CHARACTERS ARE JUST SO WELL CONSTRUCTED ARGHHH. Freaking Jungkook and his Captain America crush, same JK I love Chris Pratt and his ass too. So sad that FS has come to and end but it was the perfect finale. I LOVE YOU ❤️ The way i cried, laughed, and just the overjoy from FS 7 i swear to god i hate ending something so wonderful i get a lil disappointed going back to my regular life and not living thru this amazing art thank you for this series i loved it!! I just reread your entire FS series again and the ending was so sweet 😭😭 thank you so much for sharing ur writing!! I also really liked how everyone’s friendship developed in FS7

I just finished FS and I loved it! Awesome job ✌🏼 I love your writing style. It’s not try hard but it’s also not boring lol idk how to explain it but it’s captivating. I’m excited for your future works if you plan on continuing to write 💜 Also, good luck on finals! wahhhhhhhhhh that ending was PERFECTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! i am so so happy but also so so sad to say goodbye to these characters. i'm gonna miss fs!jungkook so much!!!!!! :(( thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us!!

OH NO WHEN DID YOU POST THAT FINALE :((((( I LITERALLY LOVE IT!!!! THE WHOLE GROUP IS BACK AND JUNGKOOK STOPPED BEING A COWARD CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?????? I AM SO HAPPY 🥺 When I started reading this, it only had 3 released parts, and now it’s done :(((( i’ll miss you clowning FS jk!!

i've waited a full day to really formulate my thots on the finale of fs... and damn bitch u KILLED me I LOVED ALL OF IT THANK U FOR WRITING ALL THAT BC REALLY? WHAT A FUCKING TRIP THIS HAS BEEN love u forever and ever and ever and am so blessed that u share ur work with lil ol me!! love u to the moon and back <3 u deserve all the good things life has to offer you ! -- crack cocaine anon

I wish I could give you better feedback dissecting every. little. bit. of For Science and how I thoroughly enjoyed the entire series but it's coming out as word vomit lol. I absolutely cackled at the sex Pavlov'd and watermelon slapping. Yoori was fantastic as always ("one day I'm going to get a fresh manicure just so my hands look good when I finally smack the shit out of him." Beautiful) and I just love the group dynamics as a whole. They remind me of my friends :( And the main couple,their whole sometimes-awkward-and-painful process of working things out and then slowly, naturally falling (back?) into love hit me in all the best ways. Overall 10/10, will definitely read this again and anything else you write <3

wow you really snapped with that ending for FS huh i’m- wow seriously one of the best writers ever I feel happy and sad now that FS has ended. Happy because I feel like it was the perfect ending to an amazing series and sad because we have to say goodbye to all these amazing /funny/cray cray characters. You are an amazing writer and I hope we get the chance to read more of your stuff in the future!

I am actually devastated high crying that FS is over. I invested so much EMOTION. Bless your soul. FS finale is amazing. you wrote beautifully and progressed the plot at an anticipating rate. i loved it!!! wondering, did you go off of any certain real life jk looks for his platinum hair, piercings and no glasses? and the ripped jeans...... if u did please post them i wanna see!!!! (ANON, unfortunately I couldn’t find a pic with all of those in one, but there’s this edit and this outfit)

Just needed to let u kno that FS is a masterpiece and i loved it so so so much~ its def my fave fic i've ever read and i love your characterization! Im sad its over but ahhhhh it was so good and i wanna say thanks for writing it - 💖🐰

For science was amazing, I want to congratulate you for writing such a beautiful story for us!!!! Really!!! thank you!!!! for the time and effort bc your fic is genuinely one of the best I've ever read!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ jesus, i cannot express to you how much I love FS, it was everything i want in a story like it took ages to read but yet it felt like minutes and when i was done i was heartbroken that i’ll never see the characters again, i can really relate a lot of the characters to some of my own friends and i love that despite finding it strange, when i was reading it i found myself laughing out loud at the jokes and cringing at overly handsy jk, your writing is top tier and i’m going to miss FS so much

my heart is swelling while reading the last chapter of fs. It’s been a wild ride and I’m so happy to b part of it!!!!!! Thank u for writing such an amazing story

#CC anon #bunny anon #talk

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mvssmallow · 7 years ago

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Cloudy With A Chance

Part 20: …of Ex and Why

Masterlist

He’s back at work and back with a sense of dejà vu.

“So. It’s just…over?” Donghyuk asks gently.

He nods and looks out the window instead of making eye contact.

Donghyuk furrows his brows and chews on the take-away coffee cup in confusion. “Oh. I thought things were going well…..wait wait, that’s not important right now. How are you holding up? Do you want to talk about it or do you want to get back to work?”

He just shrugs and twirls his pen around his fingers. “I don’t know what I want. My head is like…I don’t even know. Like a bomb went off.”

“You don’t have to tell me but why did you guys break up?”

He sighs heavily. “My parents found out. I kind of went crazy.”

Donghyuk takes a sips and nods all knowingly, as usual. “Hmmm.”

“Was it the wrong decision?” He asks.

“Well. What do you think?”

“Of course it was the wrong decision.” He says quietly, almost to himself. “It was a stupid decision.”

“So why did you do it? If you knew it was wrong?”

The frustration and anger floods him all over again. “I don’t know Donghyuk! I don’t know! It was like, everyone wanted me to be something. My parents wanted a normal son. Jiwon wanted a normal boyfriend. They just all wanted something from me, constantly. I was just so pissed off at everyone. I just wanted everything to go away and leave me alone for a day.”

He starts drawing circles in his notebook and colouring them all in black. “I don’t deserve him anyway. He’s dealt with enough of my shit. All I did was hold him back from the life he should be living. He’s a rapper. What am I? Some boring writer just dragging him down with all this. I don’t know. It’s probably for the best. He’s probably sitting there wondering why he even bothered with me in the first place.”

Donghyuk stops nodding in agreeance. “Is that what he said?”

“No, he never said it but I know he must think it sometimes. Like when he can hear me lying to my mum on the phone. Or when people want to come over and I say no. He’s social. He likes people. I’m the opposite, all I want to do is stay home. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. It’s better that we broke up before any real damage was done, you know?”

Donghyuk just sips his coffee in silence.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Only if you want me to…..”

He rolls his eyes. “Why would I tell you if I didn’t want your opinion? Do I look like I can figure anything out by myself right now?”

Donghyuk frowns before putting his cup on the table between them. “I’m not sure what to say but do you want to hear a story?”

He nods, relieved for a distraction at least.

“So, there used to be a writer here called Alex. He was from London and worked with us in the year before you started. We were inseparable after a month. It was just the biggest type of foolish love you could imagine. The type where you matched on every level there was to match on. He could already speak Korean but I insisted on learning English anyways and he’s probably the reason I can still speak it so well now. We used to co-write articles, all crazy concepts and unique ideas that really got Daily Grind more popular in the initial stages of the magazine. They’re part of the reason I got promoted so fast. Anyway, four months down the road, the overanalytical-paranoia kicks in, and I ask about the ex-relationships. I didn’t want to know but I had to know, had to figure where I stood in comparison. It turns out that his last few relationships were with all these mensa level professors and published authors. You know, of actual books and literature.”

“Sometimes it’s a mistake to dig into the past.” Donghyuk says with a shake of his head. “All it did was make me more afraid. After he told me I just felt small, like I was lacking physically, intellectually and in experience, like I didn’t fit his trend and was just some experiment. And here’s the messed up thing: I let everyone convince me it was true. That he was just going to eventually go back to being with what he’s always been with. Of course he was nice to me, he was in South Korea, what other choice did he have? So I friendzoned him instead of waiting around to get hurt. It didn’t make a difference, I got hurt anyway. What I completely did not understand was that he didn’t even think like that. He wasn’t looking for those guys any more. He was looking for regular me. By the time I figured this all out, it was too late. He had moved on and all I had to show for it was regret and some of the best pieces I will probably ever write.”

“He was The Guy. I knew that from the beginning. In some ways, I’m always going to be looking for someone like him.“

There’s a long pause after Donghyuk finishes. “That’s the problem with people like us. We always end up with too many regrets. Life is easy if you let your brain decide everything, it’ll always reason and pick self-preservation. But reasoning doesn’t work when it comes to these things and the heart doesn’t know any logic or rational thought. It doesn’t care about self-preservation. That’s why they say, crazy in love.”

He thinks about Donghyuk’s words long after work finishes. He thinks about it as he eats alone, watches TV alone and sleeps alone. There’s no messy apartment to tidy up, no wrinkled shirts to iron, no mismatched socks to fold. He thought he wanted to be alone. He’s used to feeling alone. Alone protects him. But now? He can’t stand it anymore.

*****

“So, your apartment is still available if you want to move back.” Yo says over dinner. “I made a few enquiries today.”

He nods. “Yeah, thanks. I’ll, um, give them a call tomorrow.”

Yo reaches over to pat his back. “There’s no rush, you know that right? We’re happy to have you here until you sort things out a bit. It’s okay.”

“It’ll be like college all over again.” June says with a chuckle. “Only I’m less poor, Yo can cook more than instant ramen and grilled cheese toasties and you’re slightly cleaner. Slightly.”

They all laugh. It feels good to laugh, even if it’s just for a little while.

But after the distractions of work and playing video games with June or helping Yo tidy the kitchen, he’s alone again. Alone in the spare bedroom with all his belongings in a bag on the floor and staring at someone else’s ceiling. Even the traffic outside the window sounds different. Everything is different. And even though he’s known Yo and June for almost his entire life, this isn’t his home. He already has one.

Part of him still can’t believe it. Part of him is just waiting for Hanbin to answer his phone calls tomorrow. He doesn’t want to think about the other part. He can’t let himself think about it. It’s been so long since he let himself go to all those dark places and who knows how long it’d take him to get out of one again.

So, no.

He won’t believe it’s over.

He won’t until Hanbin gets married to someone else.

Then it’d be over.

But he doesn’t want to think about that either.

Turning over, he punches the pillow in frustration. “Arghhh!”

This is the cruelest part of a break-up; the thoughts. Loops and movies and highlight reels of moments, smiles, words, feelings. They play over and over again in his head and after awhile it’s nothing but torture. He wants to remember them, hold onto them, file them somewhere nobody can reach but at the same time, he wants them just to fade away and let him sleep.

But sleep doesn’t come easy anymore. Not when there’s no warm weight next to him and no-one clawing at his arm in the middle of the night.

He tries to think about the upcoming mic night instead but scrolling through all the half-finished verses on his phone just gets him more depressed. He’s written better, been better, and rapping about cars and money just seems trivial right now. It’s 2:30 when his eyes finally close out of exhaustion and in the darkness there are only images of Hanbin’s sad face staring at him as he leaves the apartment.

Sleep isn’t really sleep anymore.

He goes back to eating breakfast alone. There aren’t notes or sneaky Oreos snuck into his lunchbox. There aren’t any random messages on his phone to read and laugh at. No jokes over dinner or in bed. His entire being misses Hanbin but the worst thing, by far, is going to sleep alone and knowing that he’s just going to wake up alone in 6 hours.

His mind hangs on for a few days, it even makes it to a whole week, but everything falls apart by the second. That’s when he starts to believe that life without Hanbin might be permanent. So what if he feels sorry for himself? So what?

“Jesus, slow down Jiwon!” June says in exasperation and reaches over to take the shotglass from his fingers.

“Hey! I need that!” He tries to grab it back but the contents are already gone.

“I think you’ve had enough. How are you gonna perform like this?”

He shrugs. “I’ve been worse.”

June looks at him with skeptical concern. “You sure you wanna go on? You can just back out, say you’re sick or something. It’s just a mic night. Probably no record company scouts here.”

He shakes his head. “No, I want to do it.”

By the time the music kicks in he’s regretting it and wishes he had just listened to June after all. It’s not bad but it’s a mess, as if his heart was just bleeding erratically all over the stage. If he was any more sober he’d feel embarrassed but with 4 shots and a beer in his stomach, he can’t say there’s anything beyond the numbness.

forget a promenade, let’s juggernaut down memory lane, leave no thought alive, to the slaughter house i’m taking my pain time to sever my brain from my heart and soul my knees are burning hot, but God is cold, I’ve been told

One day you’ll know too much of heaven’s a sin after the show, it’s only hell that it brings so take it slow and let time heal everything they say that time flies, but you keep breaking its wings you’ll never fade, fade to black please fade, fade to black but the nightmares come back

-t.t

When it’s over he ignores everyone’s concerned looks and walks straight back to the bar.

“Shit, Kim. What’s up with the depressing lyrics?”

He looks up to see one of the rap competitors grinning at him. He can’t even remember the guy’s name and takes the time to swallow his gin before answering. “Just felt like it.”

“What have you even got to be depressed about anyway? You’ve been killing it lately, even Mino’s getting scared. Hey, where’s that guy you’re with?”

He clenches his jaw. “Not here.”

“Why? He dump your ugly ass?” The guy jokes.

He doesn’t answer. Just shakes his head and keeps drinking.

The guy doesn’t stop talking and it grates on his already frayed nerves. “His fucking face, man. Half the guys backstage want to fuck his face, the other half want to fuck-”

He remembers reaching the bottom of his glass of gin before his right fist connects with a slackened jaw. There’s a sickening crunch and collapse of bone as the guy stumbles back in shock.

They just stare at each other for a second before launching forward, fists swinging and connecting with anything within reach. A punch to the gut, knuckles across his left eyebrow, nails scratching a trail down his face and finally, a knee into his chest that has him falling head first into the corner of a table and splitting his lip.

He ignores the nose bleed, the taste of blood in his mouth, the bursts of pain every time his fist hits the face beneath him. He had it coming. They both had it coming.

“JIWON! What the fuck-”

June’s loud voice rings in his ears before four strong arms eventually pull him away from the fight. His left eye is swollen and his vision blurry but he can see security dragging the other guy in the opposite direction.

“No wonder he dumped your ass. You’re nothing but a fucking loser!” The guy shouts at him through a mouth full of bloody teeth.

He makes to stand up again but June’s hard face comes into view. “NO. ENOUGH.”

Yoyo stands in the middle, placating security and the club’s management with the kind of diplomacy and level-headed intelligence that both he and June lack. His shirt is roughly peeled off and used in some vain attempt to slow down the bleeding.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Is this is how you’re gonna act now?” June asks. It comes out more sad than scolding and that just makes him feel worse somehow.

Yo eventually comes over with a stern face and hurried words. “We need to get out of here right now. You’re lucky they like you so much.”

He lets them lead him through the club, right past the half-cheering half-judging crowd, and buckle him into the backseat of June’s black Audi.

His right hand is twisted, swollen, deformed. He looks at it with fascination, knowing somewhere in the back of his mind that it would be screaming out in pain if not for the industrial levels of alcohol in his system.

“I can’t believe this!” Yo exclaims from the driver’s seat. “I can’t believe this is how tonight ended. He’s lucky that that other guy is stupid and won’t remember enough to press charges.”

June shakes his head. “That other guy is a dick. I know him. He was probably starting some shit as usual. He’s done it before. It must’ve been something really bad for Jiwon to do that.”

“Don’t defend him June!” Yo replies in irritation. “That other guy might be a dick but what about our guy? He dislocated a jaw. That’s hardly something to be proud of!”

“I’m not defending him! You’re talking like he just randomly decided to punch a dude in the face. He’s not like that.”

The car lurches forward abruptly as Yoyo breaks hard at the red light. “I know he isn’t! Don’t you talk like I don’t know him too! I’ve known him almost as long as you have.”

He sighs in the backseat. He always thought he was a good person. He was a good person wasn’t he? So why was he ruining everything around him?

“Let’s just get him to the hospital. We’ll talk about the rest at home.”

Hospital.

What.

“I don’t need to go to a hospital-” He starts.

“Yes, you do.” Yoyo says, warning and finality loud and clear in his voice. “And if either of you have a problem with it, so help me God, I will end you both right now.”

****

He gets a Emergency Department resident stitching him up. It hurts more that the actual fight.

“Rough night huh?”

“Something like that.”

“Get into a fight?”

“Yep.”

“Wasn’t over a girl was it?” The resident teases him with a crooked smile. “Please tell me it was a better story than that.”

He chuckles and lets himself relax a bit. “No. It wasn’t over a girl. It was over a guy.”

“Oh yeah? What’s his name?”

“Hanbin. You know how everyone thinks their boyfriend is the best guy on the planet? Well, he is actually is the best guy on the planet. Too good for me anyway.”

“So, what did he think of all this?”

He can feel the pull of the sutures against his left eyebrow. It was weird and foreign and everything just felt so strange right now. “He wasn’t even there. We broke up. I got into a fight and he wasn’t even there to see it.”

“Well, this might leave a scar. Show him that.” The resident says, sitting back after he’s tied the last suture and applied a bandage over the top. “Guys loves scars don’t they?”

He laughs again, he likes this guy. “I’ll be even uglier than when he left me.”

The resident stands and starts clearing away the examination table. “If he’s the right guy, he’ll come back and not even notice the new level of ugly. Now. Let’s see this hand of yours.”

It’s a mess. Bruised, swollen and-

“Broken.”

“Broken?” He echoes in disbelief.

The resident nods and points out the fracture on his xrays. “Fifth metacarpal. Also know as a Boxer’s Fracture. Luckily for you there’s minimal angulation or rotation.”

“And that’s good?”

“Yes. You won’t need reduction or surgery. And it’s not an open fracture so all you’ll need for it to heal is time. I’m going to apply a support bandage and get you a sling for elevation.”

He nods and watches as his hand disappears behind layers of white crepe bandaging.

No home. No boyfriend. And now, with his broken hand, probably no job.

Thank God they gave him morphine.

“Remorse?”

“Yeah.”

“People do crazy things for love.”

“Yeah, I know. You ever done anything crazy, doc?”

There’s a pause before the bandaging continues. “Well, I got into med school to impress a girl and to convince her parents to let us date. She left me for some long haired musician by second year. All I have to show for it is this medical degree, a stable job and my Lexus.”

They both laugh.

“Damm, that’s cold though. Did you forgive her?”

The resident tapes up the ends of the bandage. “Over time. I could never resent her anyway. She changed my life. Some pains are just worth it in the end.”

****

“You’re a cliche.”

He’s hearing things.

He must be.

“A stupid cliche.”

And tripping hard on the morphine they gave him.

He turns over and sits up too fast, causing his head to spin, vision to black-out and headache to spike behind his left eye. “Argh….”

A hand pushes his shoulder until he’s lying against the hospital bed again. “Stay down.”

That voice. He knows that voice.

He loves that voice.

“My head hurts.” He groans, eyes still shut to calm down the vertigo.

“Probably from carrying around that big brain all day.”

When the world stops moving, he opens his eyes, blinks a few times to get rid of the blur and once his vision clears, Hanbin’s face comes into view, like a picture from a dream.

That must be the morphine talking.

“Are you really here? What are you doing here? Why are all dressed up?”

He takes in the crisp white shirt, pressed black pants and neatly styled hair. He has never seen Hanbin dressed up like this. This is a fever dream. Or maybe his batch of morphine was spiked with LSD.

“I heard some rapper got into a fight. It was all over the news.” Hanbin says with a shrug.

His eyes widen. “I was on the news?”

Hanbin shakes his head with a small smile. “No. June told me. What the hell were you-”

“Okay, Jiwon. You’re free to go!” The resident walks back into his cubicle holding a box of pain medication and discharge papers, only halting when he sees Hanbin. “Oh. Hello. I’m Dr. Lee. And you must be…”

“This is the Hanbin.”

“Ohhh. You’re Hanbin. Right right.”

It’s the drawn out ‘oh’ that has Hanbin furrowing his brows in confusion. “Yes….hello. Um, thank you for taking care of him. So he can go now?”

“Yes. But he came with two others. Will they-”

Hanbin shakes his head. “I sent them home. I’ll take him.”

“Oh good!” The resident says with a smile. When Hanbin isn’t looking he swears he saw a wink thrown in his direction.

He watches as Hanbin listens to the instructions on medication use and reads the letter detailing future follow up appointments. Where was June? Where was Yo? Why was Hanbin even here?

“Well, good luck Jiwon.” The resident says with a knowing grin before leaning closer to his ear and whispering, “Looks like it was worth it in the end, huh?”

He looks over his shoulder to see Hanbin folding his bloody shirt away and reaching into a bag to pull out a clean hoody.

“Yeah.”

But if he thought their reunion was going to be some beautiful montage of hugs and apologies, he was sadly mistaken.

“What were you thinking? Were you even thinking?” Hanbin rants at the wheel as they drive down the highway. “What if the other guy makes a report to the police? And you were drunk? I’ve seen you drunk. You’re all useless drunk. How can you even fight drunk?”

He lets Hanbin talk and finds himself smiling out the window as the world whizzes by.

“Why are you smiling? Is this funny to you? Yeah, it’s really funny getting a text saying you were at the hospital with an emergency. And June! He didn’t even reply for 10 minutes about why you were there so I got a speeding ticket and heart attack on the way. He can pay for it. No! YOU can pay for it. Well, no you can’t. How are you even going to go to work with a broken hand. A broken hand, Jiwon! Jesus.”

They get to a red light and he starts giggling at the absurdity of the entire situation. It really doesn’t help Hanbin’s mood.

“This isn’t cool. You could’ve really injured a guy. You could’ve really injured yourself! Did you even think about that?” Hanbin asks, distress etched all over his face.

He stops laughing as the guilt begins to eat away at him. “But I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, you’ll be just fine. What about me, huh? Not like I’ve been mentally unstable lately or anything. I really love having to think about you dying or something.”

“I’m sorry.” He says as the light turns green.

Hanbin looks over at him, eyes softening for a moment before changing gears. “It’s okay.”

He watches Hanbin drive for a few minutes and it hits him: this is the first time he’s been in the passengers seat in Hanbin’s car. Hanbin hates driving anywhere so why was he even driving now?

“Why did you send June and Yo home? They could’ve taken me. I’m staying there anyway. It doesn’t make any logical sense for you to come all this way-”

“I didn’t come because of logic.” Hanbin says.

He doesn’t get it. “So why did you come?”

“I just….I just thought something happened to you.”

“So what? You came because you were curious?”

Hanbin shakes his head in frustration, his knuckles white and tense at the wheel. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I didn’t want to end things like this.”

It hits a nerve. “Like what? Things already ended. You told me to leave, remember?”

“And you’re the one that left!” Hanbin snaps.

“I left because you told me to!” He snaps back. “You said you wanted time alone! I didn’t do it because I wanted to leave.”

The cars pulls up into a familiar driveway.

He just stares out the window before turning towards the driver’s side. “How sick are you? Or do you just like it when we suffer?”

“What?” Hanbin looks at him in confusion.

He gestures out the window and points up to the fourth floor. “Why did you drive me back here? To remind me of everything I’m not allowed to have? No offence but I think I’m all maxed out on bad luck tonight, okay? I’ll walk back to June’s if I have to.”

He tries to take off his seatbelt but his right hand is bandaged and it’s too awkward reaching around the sling with his left. Not that it stops him from trying.

“Jiwon. Stop…stop…” Hanbin’s words are soft, scared, sad. He has to ignore it. He can’t get dragged back into this game where all he does is lose. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just wanted to take care of you. It should be me.”

“Why should it be you? Why?!” He can hear the sharp edges in his voice. He’ll regret this later. He regrets it now. “I don’t want your pity, okay? You think you can just tell me you don’t want me one minute then suddenly decide to come back when you feel guilty? You can’t do that to people! You can’t play with them like that! Do you really think I’m going to just sit here…..”

He finally struggles out of the seatbelt and gets out of the car.

"I’m not! That’s not what I’m doing.” Hanbin scrambles out of his seat to follow him down the driveway. “Can you just stop and listen for a minute!?”

He stops walking as they get to the corner of the road. His mind is spinning and the thoughts inside his head are all jumbled by the alcohol and drugs in his system. “Fine. But no more bullshit, Hanbin. Say what you need to say. I can’t think about this anymore. It’s fucking killing me.”

“I just….I came to take you home.”

“Why?”

He knows it’s cruel, putting Hanbin on the spot like this, he can see the struggle on his face but it’s too late, they were too far gone and he needs to know. Now or never.

“Because….I wanted you home.”

He looks at Hanbin’s scared face and takes a step towards him. “Why?”

“Because I missed you.”

He shakes his head and keeps walking. “Not good enough. Why?”

“You know why.”

He stops when they’re only an arms length away. “I told you, no more bullshit. Why did you come?”

To his credit, Hanbin doesn’t look away this time. The scared expression replaced with some kind of quiet defiance. “I came to get you back. I wanted you to come back.”

He wasn’t expecting Hanbin to be that blunt and honest. “Why?” He says, softer this time.

Hanbin scowls and punches him on the arm. “Now you’re just being annoying.”

He grins smugly, causing the cut on his lip to bleed again. “Yeah, I know. But tell me. Just this once.”

Hanbin rolls his eyes and sighs before reaching out to dab at the cut with the sleeve of his shirt. “Because I like you. You asshole.”

He uses his good arm to pull Hanbin forward until they’re inches apart. “See, it wasn’t that hard right?”

Hanbin grimaces, pretends to resist. “Because you weren’t the one saying it.”

“Okay. My turn, then?”

“No, you don’t have to say anything…”

“I’m an asshole and I like you too.”

The small dimple-smile that he gets in return is worth every hit he took. He holds Hanbin’s face with his good hand, taking his time to remember everything again. Just in case.

“Hi, baby.”

“Hi.”

“Wanna go home now?”

“Yeah.”

Hanbin’s fingers find his, their bodies fitting neatly against each other’s as they walk back up the street and take the familiar stairs to the fourth floor.

He lets out a loud sigh when they step inside the apartment. He was only gone for two weeks but it felt like so much longer. He missed everything, even the stupid wall clock that always ticks too loudly. He really just wants to dive head first into their bed but the grip on his arm pulls him from going any further.

“You’re all sweaty and bloody. It’s kinda gross.” Hanbin says, screwing up his nose.

He yawns, suddenly overcome by exhaustion as the long day catches up with him. Toeing off his Jordans he’s surprised at the way his feet automatically jam themselves into the Winnie The Pooh slippers by the door. They never even moved from their position in the line-up.

He doesn’t remember that much after that. Hanbin draws him a bath, tapes a plastic bag around his right hand and makes him sit in the warm bubbles. He rests his head on a stack of towels and blinks sleepily.

“I haven’t had anyone give me a bath since I was a kid.”

Hanbin snorts. “You’re still a kid.”

Hanbin’s fingers massage his scalp gently and he sighs as the warm water runs down his skin. “Mmmm, it’s nice.”

“Jiwon?”

“Hrmm?”

“What happened at the club?”

“Some guy was talking shit.”

“That deserves a punch in the face does it?”

“He was talking shit about you.”

The damp towel scrubbing at the dried blood near his jaw pauses for a split second. “So what? You’re going to start a fight with every guy who talks shit about me?”

He shrugs. “Maybe. Depends on the shit.”

“Stupid…..so stupid….” Hanbin mutters.

He hums in agreeance.

“Hey, you got blood all over Richard Parker.” Hanbin says, holding out his right arm and scrubbing at all the dried blood splattered over his tiger tattoo. “Makes him look badass.”

“He was already a badass. He knows maths.”

Hanbin laughs and he smiles into the stack of towels, it splits his lip again but some pains really are worth it in the end.

****

Soundtrack for this chapter:

The Scientist | ENL | Someone Like You (for Donghyuk)

#Cloudy With A Chance #those songs have some of the best lyrics #My favourite lyrics for a really long time was that line from The Scientist #because it's so true #especially for people who always try to use logic and reason on the heart #it doesn't work hahaha #Donghyuk's monologue is inspire by Chasing Amy (which is one of my favourite screenplays)#text #fic #double b #hanbin #bobby #ikon #cwac

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escailyyy · 8 years ago

Text

A grandaughter's problem

“Ah so there’s my little lightsaber, come to visit your old granddaddy eh?” Obiwan Kenobi huffed wheeling his wheelchair down the hall of his retirement haven, towards the angry form of his most rebellious granddaughter Kira, rolling his eyes at her revealing clothes he raised an eyebrow in the way only a retired member of the Special Joined, Equanimity Division of Intelligence (J.E.D.I) order could “you just missed Rey and Daisy, who by the way had a very interesting piece of gossip to share”

“Daisy and Rey don’t know anything” Kira snapped crossing her arms over her scantily clad chest, taking in his subtle chastisement and making a beeline for Obiwan’s linen closet, emerging minutes later clad in one of her grandfather’s old black Jedi Council tunics and sweatpants three sizes too big “they need to stay out of my bloody life, what gives them the right to butt in?”

“So, you haven’t been receiving flowers for a whole week in a row coupled with Slayer CD’s?” Grandfather Kenobi wondered raising an eyebrow “and you haven’t been refusing to let them read the cards that come with said gifts?” Wheeling himself to the adjacent kitchen Obiwan reached for the ever-boiling kettle that was a hallmark of the Kenobi household “have some tea Kira”

“FINE, I’ll tell you…but only because you’re you and because you’re not being a pain in the ass like Tweedle Dee Dee and Tweedle Dee Dum” Kira accepted the tea with a grudging smile and groaned “Gramps I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me!! I swear one minute I’m fine, going about my life, punching the crap out of my competition in the ring and one minute I’m not and then everything goes bloody sideways, and it’s all my stupid fault for saving Ben’s life”

“Kira, calm down, I assume it’s a long story yes?”

“Of course it is arghhh I just want to punch the bloody asshole”

“Start with the beginning, why did you have to save Ben’s life?”

Obiwan sighed, he often told himself had done a good job with the girls, Luke and Leia could vouch for that, after surviving the fall of the Emperor’s drug empire and with Anakin (no longer Vader) living out his remaining days in a high security glorified nursing home, Obiwan Kenobi hadn’t planned on one day being contacted by social services just about ten or so years later with the news that the secret son he’d had with Satine, who was supposed to be living a happy tragedy less life in Mandalore, was dead and unless he claimed custody of his son’s three orphan children the girls would be shipped off to some place far like Jakku.

So Obiwan had stepped up, retired to a modest house near the beach in Yavin IV and raised the girls himself with the occasional help from what was left of his friends.

Funny how the reason he’d abstained from mixing too much with Leia’s family was because he thought her own set of pre teen triplets were already enough work for Han and her her and in the end it turned out that it was Obiwan who found himself handing out sage advice to her.

Kenobi didn’t regret raising the girls away from Coruscant, if anything he was glad Rey, Kira and Daisy had gone to small town schools and roamed the beach and woods to their hearts content.

He just hadn’t counted with their strange fascination towards the Solo boys.

Anakin (Mustafar blast him) liked to laugh trough his life support and tell him he deserved it for all the grief Obiwan ever put his former Padawan trough.

“The beginning…Well, I guess it started last year when that bantha shit of Ben Solo said I wouldn’t know how to dress like a real girl even if Jessica Pava herself let me borrow her whole wardrobe, which is a load of… ”

“Was this before or after you ruined Kylo’s chance with Rey by showing her that video of him trashing his tattoo parlor after talking to Han” her Grandfather interrupted with narrowed eyes

“a bit after, the next day I think” Kira admitted ruefully “in my defense I have nothing against Kylo, he’s just a violent weirdo who doesn’t deserve Rey”

“Kira! You told Rey that Kylo had torched the falcon with Han inside!” Obiwan scolded “And belittle him infront of her every time you get a chance”

“He’s not good enough for her! Someone’s got to make sure she knows it” Kira protested crossing her arms over her chest.

“And Daisy with Matt?”

“Those two can ruin their relationship on their own”

“KIRA LAN KENOBI” Obiwan snapped raising his voice to scold her once again “sabotaging the happiness of your sisters is not something I approve of”

“But Grandpa!”

“Just continue your story”

“Well, then I told Ben that how would he know, since the only time he’s ever been interested in girls clothes was when he’s trying to take them off some poor unsuspecting soul”

“It all escalated from there until he said that from looking at my chest he understood why guys ran away from me”

“And you punched him in the face” Obiwan guessed wisely

“I did”

“You know his hostility might have had something to do with your single-minded tendency of ruining his brother’s happiness” but her grandfather’s observation got ignored by Kira

“But every time we’ve seen each other since then is the same thing” Kira kept on talking “he was always bloody remarking on the fact that I’m too boyish and tough and violent, and screw him I might not be all boobs and ass like Bazine but I’m not a bloody guy!”

“Isn’t that Bazine the girl you called “skanky cabaret stripper” after the Solo’s last New Year’s Eve party?“ Obiwan recalled the moniker being repeated with way too much frequency whenever Kira complained about Ben Solo’s womanizing and why that made Kylo and Matt entirely wrong for Rey or Daisy

"That’s the one, she’s got fake: nails, boobs, hair, teeth and personality"Kira listed angrily before returning to the subject at hand "so last week after debating it out with Rey in Han’s garage I got fed up, I just went downtown, bought a couple of dresses that would make even someone like Solo stop and pay attention and showed up at Poe’s birthday bash with Rey”

“Yes, I remember, incidentally Daisy told me that you and I quote "looked like a goddess of darkness, but got angry and left early’ and those were her exact words”

Kira smirked she HAD looked like a goddess thank you very much, that red and black one shoulder cocktail dress with her best skull printed fishnet stockings and loose hair had been enough to make her stand out even next to Phasma (which was a feat considering Phas had the term ‘Chrome Queen’ down to a trademark and Kira always looked like a punk rock Hobbit when they hung out together) “here’s the thing Granps, Hux was there too, he tried flirting with moi, which made me laugh at every three words he said”

“Why? Didn’t you want boys to notice the pretty dress? Daisy said Hux was your type” Obiwan had long ago accepted the fact that his girls were grown up, honestly after having to give them the talk before puberty and managing to survive ten or so years of synchronized periods, he considered the whole talking-about-boys thing the least traumatic of conversation topics.

“Hey one, ew it’s Hux, he doesn’t count as a boy because he’s a ginger and please feel free to take offense, gingers are the devil” Kira pointed out making her grandfather laugh “two, everytime Armitage Hux tries flirting with me it’s only because he’s trying to look casual when he turns around to make an actual move on Phasma, constipated and anal retentive as he is” Kira snorted “and three, it wasn’t a PRETTY dress, it was a badass masterpiece of clothing that was dug out from a ceremonial tomb in the ruins of Jedha and restored to its original glory by a black market Tailor”

“Kira what have I told you about doing your shopping in the ill-obtained-goods district of Coruscant?” Old Kenobi interjected with exasperation

“It’s a dress Grandpa…Or two or three, the tomb of Wesi Ker isn’t going to miss them and they came at a lower rate than the designer garbage General Organa loves to dress Rey in”

“Force give me patience” Grandfather said elevating his eyes to the sky “Don’t change the subject young lady, what did Hux do that you left early?”

“Hux? Nothing, didn’t I just tell you that Hux has a weird fetish for gigantic and blonde bi ladies?” Kira snapped, recalling Hux smarmy compliments “it was Ben! He’s the one who called me hot one moment and as soon as he saw Hux said I looked like cheap a skin girl, the idiot, chauvinistic, pompous bantha anus that he is”

“I take it you also punched him for the remark” in fact if she hadn’t it would have been a sign of the Apocalypse for Old Kenobi

“Of course not, it was Poe’s birthday, I promised Rey that there would be no punching”

“Then what..” old Obiwan raised his finger to ask

“…I took advantage of the slit in the leg of my dress to knee him in the nuts” Kira elaborated then she added for good measure “like a lady good and proper”

Privately Obiwan hoped it had hurt as much as Kira’s pride “so you left early” he deduced with a knowing look

“And ended up saving Ben Solo’s life, when I should have left him to die”

“I take it there’s more to the story than just leaving early then”

“Look I was going to! I even made nice with Poe and everything, bought him this very nice empire era X-Wing air freshener as a gift and abstained from insulting Finn’s obvious bad taste in boyfriends” Kira protested hotly “But Poe, the bloody Tautun, had to make a whole spectacle out of it and Daisy was begging me to stay because she’s Daisy and since Solo is Poe’s best friend, he attempted to cajole me into letting him drive me home, Grandpa, the gall of him! as tough I’m some simpering little idiot who doesn’t know what nasty shit he uses the Millennium Falcon for”

“Kira, didn’t you carpool in Rey’s car that day? Ben Solo might be a scoundrel but I’d have to agree on that one” Obiwan interrupted “I know, I know, you’re Kira Kenobi and can take care of yourself, but don’t blame an old man for being a worrier”

“I was planning to use my speeder, since Phasma brought it and I knew she’d be crashing with he’s-just-a-good-colleague Hux in his fancy Coruscant penthouse”

“A speeder in a dress? Force help me Kira! Not even your grandmother ever did that and believe me, I saw Satine wear a lot of strange clothing when escaping assassination attempts back in the day”

“Solo said the same thing…Well give or take a few ‘do you plan on flashing all the Commonwealth district’ and 'Kira let me drive you home blah blah blah’ oh and when I wouldn’t listen to him he kissed me but that’s unimportant what’s important is that Dabba the Hutt’s minions…”

“Kira?” Obiwan leveled her another Jedi Council eyebrow raise “Ben Solo kissed you?”

“He did, I was trying to get away from him, he followed me to the parking lot and kissed me” She squirmed under her grandfather’s all knowing look

“Ben, the scoundrel you’ve been complaining about since you were thirteen, that Ben” Another Jedi Council eyebrow

“Yes that Ben, the same one I slapped minutes later”

“The Ben that you claim not to like”

“Grandpa! I really don’t like him, he’s an egocentric prick with a hero complex and a wandering dick” Kira didn’t like the laughter in her grandfather’s eyes not one bit and okay maybe that first kiss hadn’t been that bad and maybe he’d tasted like cigarettes and corellian wine but she absolutely still hated him

“Oh the follies of youth my child”

“Anyway, he kissed me, and don’t look at me like that I slapped the grin of his face and told him I’d never in a million years be a notch in his bedpost then he got angry and told me he’d see me in hell for that lie and I thought that was it, except it wasn’t because as he was leaving the parking lot to join the party Dabba the Hutt’s minions ambushed him”

“What is it with Solo men and angering Hutts? I could tell our one or two stories about Han in his Hutt days that would make even you feel like vomiting” Obiwan huffed as he put two and two together “he might be my namesake but Ben takes after his father too much, why didn’t they just name the boy Han junior?”

“I know! But guess what it turns out this time it wasn’t Ben’s fault” Kira smirked “I know shocking isn’t it”

“Very” her grandfather agreed bring the mug of tea to his lips

“So the twilek and the togruta mobsters ambushed him because that skank of Bazine is now Dabba the Hutt’s sidepiece, and pummeled Ben into submission before stuffing the idiot in the back of a van” then she paused “this is the part where I decided to be an idiot too and followed them in my speeder” she HAD been forced to rip her dress but the shorter length had suited her just fine

“Did you subdue them with a blaster or did you let your fist do the talking?” Obiwan hummed putting his mug down

“A Blaster but how did you know?” In fact she’d followed them into a warehouse and had started shooting warning blasts as soon as she saw Solo tied up with a bag over his head

“I raised you Kira, I know everything” was the sage answer she got

“Anyway there was I shooting at some Hutt minions, saving Solo’s ass, handing him my spare gun and he suddenly gives me that look!” Kira grumbled opening her eyes exaggeratedly and fluttering her eyelashes while trying to imitate Ben “you know the look, the pathetic one Kylo gives Rey when she’s not looking”

“Ahh the Bambi eyes”

“Yes and it’s ridiculous because I’m beating the shit out of those dumpsters for him and we’re right in the middle of a fight, what the hell Grandpa? I didn’t ask for the Bambi eyes!” Kira got angrier “that’s Matt’s deal, hell it’s Kylo’s too, but I am Kira Kenobi and I could have lived the rest of my life perfectly happy without knowing Ben was capable of directing that look at me”

Obiwan knew exactly what look she was talking about, the one that only a Skywalker could replicate, a gaze that was a mixture of awe, worship and admiration with just the right ammount of love that made mooncalfs look tame. Leia had a habit of sporting Bambi eyes whenever she looked at Han after the war.

In hindsight maybe the triplets had inherited the look from Shmi Skywalker, the blame for this couldn’t be laid exclusively at Anakin’s door.

“So he gave you the Bambi eyes and…”

“And now I’m doomed”

“Perfectly understandable”

“No I mean yes, I mean” Kira fisted her hands “We were fighting and he’s looking at me like I’m his new religion or something and then we’re tying up the twilek and the togruta and getting the hell out of Dodge in my speeder and it felt so right grandpa” she took a deep breath and a gulp of tea “and then I’m dropping him off at the Senate building and he’s kissing me again, only this time I kiss him back because dammit who can resist those stupid brown eyes when they have that look”

“So that’s why you think you’re doomed” Obiwan agreed “you’re right dear, you are very much doomed, has he asked you to marry him yet?”

“After we broke apart from that kiss”

“And now he’s sending you flowers” Grandfather chuckled “if you dislike the gesture why don’t you tell him to stop?”

“Because then I’d have to talk to him!” Kira replied then she smiled a little bit momentarily lighting up the perpetual scowl on her face “besides nobody has ever sent me flowers before, all the guys that like me are way too scared”

“What do your sisters think about it?”

“Oh Force if they knew it’s him I’ll never hear the end of it from Rey, they all know scoundrels are so not my kriffin type”

“Exept one scoundrel apparently is”

“I blame the Bambi eyes” Kira crossed her arms over her chest “and you grandpa are not allowed to tell anybody capisce?”

“Who would I tell?” Obiwan lied knowing fully well what his next topic of discussion with Anakin would be when they met up for senior discount brunch in his penitentiary’s cafe

“So what do I do? I don’t want to like him, he’s still an asshole with a hero complex and a womanizer track record”

“Trust the force?” Her grandfather joked earning him a glower from Kira “just follow your instincts Kira, that’s what my old master used to say”

“Your old master died a virgin”

“Actually Qui Gon lied to the Jedi Council about that but that’s a story for another day”

“So it wasn’t just you and vader who lied about that?…You know you Jedis had a ton of double standards” Kira needled in, much like the eldest Solo triplet, Kira had also done a stint in the Secret, Institution for Terror and Hostility (S.I.T.H) that opposed the Jedi order during her teens.

Obiwan had breathed easily when Kira’s fascination with the emperor (who was rumored to be related to the triplets mysterious mother) had dwindled from Sith tendencies down into a simple knack for collecting empire related memorabilia. As opposed to Kylo’s much more painful experience at the hands of Snoke the last head of the Sith organization.

“And that’s a lesson to learn from the old Jedi order that Luke took into account” Obiwan cut off good-naturedly “avoid double standards” he sent her a pointed look “anything else you’d like to share? I can see it’s eating you, trust me my dear if he likes you everything will be fine”

“His last flowers came with tickets to a Black Sabbath concert” Kira confessed ruefully “I didn’t exactly talk to him, but I might have sent him a text telling him to pick me up in three hours”

“I don’t know what millennials are calling that nowadays but in my time we called that a date”

“It’s not a date! I don’t do dates, dates are for pathetic people like Matt and Daisy”

“Does Ben Solo know that?” Obiwan chuckled

“Shut up Grandpa” Kira put her head in her arms and let out a scream “Force I’m so kriffin doomed”

And Obiwan did as a good grandfather would and didn’t voice his agreement out loud “it’s all right Kira, if he gets too out of hand you can just punch him again”

“What if I don’t want to punch him?” Kira raised her head from her arms

“Then you don’t punch him, simple as that”

“I don’t want to be a notch in his bedpost, I’d die if I’m just a game for his stupid nerf herder ass”

“Kira any man that even thinks that you’re the type of girl that gets used like that, deserves all the pain he’ll get when you disabuse him of the notion”

“Thanks Grandpa, that…Made me feel oddly better”

Obiwan sighed leave it to Kira to be comforted by thoughts of violent retribution “You have a Jedi blessing to break that boy’s bones if he doesn’t behave”

“And here I thought you couldn’t be a sweeter old man” Kira smiled “thank you, I really needed to hear that”

Oh Anakin would have a life support field day when Obiwan shared the latest Grandchild gossip, that’s for sure, but in the meantime Obiwan Kenobi poured more tea and listened to Kira’s dramatic death threats towards the man she liked.

He wished Satine could see him now, she would laugh too.

An: lils happy early birthday, Dark Rey was fun to write. Lilithsaur dear this fic was inspired by Franco and Sarita’s relationship in PDG. Also the girls love for quirky Grandpa Martin..

#lilithsaur #trash triplets #ben/kira #dark rey / smuggler ben #grandpa obiwan kenobi #reylo fanfic #reylo #reylo trash

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janzzyy · 5 years ago

Text

"Why did you took psychology?"

professor Khirksten asked, then she look at me intently after I stated my name, my previous school location and age. Today's my first day, and as usual, introduce yourself stage.

"Hmm, I want to explore the mind of people, I'm curious about it. And, this course is interesting. Thou, until now, I don't know what kind of career I wanna take. But well, studying people's mind is interesting" I answered shyly.

"Oh, that's nice, I hope you find what track of career you wanna take someday while you're in this journey" she said with an approachable expression while smiling.

She asked the last student who will introduce himself.

"Well you, Mr. Why did you took psychology?"

"I want to pursue psychiatry if it's our Lord's will why not, but I took this course because first and foremost, I wanna save, find myself, and I want to cure myself. And after that, that's the time I'll able to help other people with their mental illness. It's difficult for them to go on and live their life, if they're struggling inside." He said and sit down, he wore a facemask, that's why I didn't see his expression, but I could see a hidden glint of sadness in his eyes while telling us his answer.

In our class, students of course has their different reasons on why did they took psychology. The good thing is, they're into reality, they wanted to help, they're so open minded and I'm not the only one who said that I don't know yet my career in future. All of us has these deep reasonings, motivation so we can keep and strive hard for our dreams, as well as our goals in our life. ---

It's our third day of school and I notice that my classmates are not just open minded ones, they are so jolly and they enjoy to laugh. Well me, Im such an aloof and introverted btch one, so until now I don't have that 'friend' you call.

While sitting here on grass below the tree, I'm enjoying myself eating a snack while reading a book with an earphone in my ears. The book I'm reading write now is a poetry one, Sea of Strangers by Lang leav and listening to music which is, Leave it All Behind by Sleeping with Sirens.

I feel someone on my side by I didn't look up. I continue read and enjoying the music I'm listening too.

I feel one of my earphone fell, but in my surprise the man beside me took it and put it in his ear. He's in his converse shoes, faded jeans, a white shirt with messy hair. I'm shock but it's not visible on my face. I can smell his natural scent. His the one who talked about psychiatry and wanted to heal himself.

I didn't speak nor talk. I look at him with why-did-you-do-that stare.

"You have a great taste music interest. I like it, it's my favorite tbh" He said while smiling.

---

With that, we became best friends. I learned that we have common interests and similarities. I like his presence as well as his company.

---

Were sitting in our usual spot where in Grassland. Greenery sightseeing with trees in surrounding and of course grass underground. What were doing right now is thesis writing. It's nearly 9pm we can see little beam lights with different colors. Most students are in their night classes and some are going home.

A pair of earphone in our ears, and just talking and asking each other about thesis and writing also.

--- Were like a couple, but not really. I guess were just a close bestfriends, we enjoy each other's company and yes, these undescribable feelings I have is resulting where the butterflies are lingering inside my stomach. Whenever I look at him, I want to caress his hair in my hand, I want to hug him softly. I may act aloof, cold and distant, but I admit that I'mma kind of clingy person, especially to the person I like.

---

It's been a month when I noticed that he's avoiding me. He's the one who will go out first and he's not with me these days. Just like in our first week, I left alone again. I don't know what push him to avoid me. Did he noticed the feelings I've been burying now? Well, I admit I miss him. Does he know? Well ofc if he knew about it, he will truly avoid me. I'm just an aloof, distant, dull and boring person you to be with. Not so sexy, not so pretty and not that glass skin like other girls you can see.There's nothing new to that. But I really miss him. I used to hangout with him. He's the only bestfriend I have in this college journey. I didn't confess to him because I don't wanna ruin the relationship that we have. I'm contented with that. But, does he know about it?

"Okay class dismissed" Ms. Khirksten said. "Oh, before I forgot, Mr. Alexander, come to my office" she said and adjust her prescription glasses.

---

Okay. I have to wait for him outside the office. I can't take anymore that we're not talking. This is frustrating. Arghhh. I have to face him and asked him directly why did he do that. Be brave self.

"Arghhhh, what time will they get done?" I murmured while standing outside the office.

"Ughhhh, I'm hungry. Where's that dickhead?" I murmured again then I heard the sound of open door. I look at it, and there he is.

"What's with the office? Why did they call you?" I innocently asked.

"Later, for now let's eat first" He said then grip my hand and walk to the cafe as if were fine and the avoiding thing between us didn't happen.

We've finished eating and I asked him again.

"Hey, what's with the office? Did you do something wrong for you to go there?" I asked again.

"Tell me, I'm curious you know" I said.

"You really wanna know?" He said, looking at me nervously.

"Yepp"

Later I'll tell you.

---

Were here in the rooftop of abandoned house way in our home. We usually go here and just hangout again. This is why I like him, he always sticks around with me, and yeah the feelings i have is getting deeper and deeper as we bond.

Leaning my arms on railing, looking at the beautiful city lights and scattering cars down.

"Hey, look. So beautiful isn't it?" I asked. And as usual I feel that one67 pair of my earphones is in his ears again.

"Yep, it is" he said, then I look at him and now he's looking at me also.

"What?" I asked.

"I will tell you" he said looking at me intently.

"Oh, so you'll answer my question earlier? Why did you come to officeeeee?" I asked him.

"Nope, not that" he said.

"Then wha--"

He kissed me.

I can feel the heat on my cheeks. I can feel my heart beats racing. I can hear the music on my ears playing I can feel the sensation, the way he kissed me. I can feel that my feelings for him is bursting out because of the kiss.

And because of this feelings, I forgot that I was pretending. I forgot that his just a bestfriend. I forgot that he should not know.

I kiss him back. I move my lips into his and savouring the feeling. I pour my feelings into that kiss that we're sharing. And because of the sensation. Absentmindly, I put my arms around his neck and kiss him passionately. Then his lips turned to my cheeks, then to my neck. He's sucking it hard time, and I can't contain the moan because of the pain and pleasure mixing.

He stopped. His breathing ragged and panting. And when my inbition came back, I was surprised to what I did, I should push him but I didn't utter any word.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean i---"

"Hey, why did you do that?" I asked and touch his face to turn his face on me.

"It's nothing serious" he said, avoiding his gaze to me.

"Hey, look at me" I said, still my heart is insanely beating fast.

"You didn't do that without a reason, knowing you," I said looking at him intently.

"And what I'm talking about earlier is the office thing, I was curious about it, I asked you and instead of answering me, you kissed me" I added.

"I- I like you, ah- no. I love you" he said, gaze at me, I can see the intensity of his feelings behind the uttered phrase.

My heart is beating fast. The guy that I like, he loves me. I thought it was an unrequited one. I'm speechless. But I have to say something.

"Hmp, you said you love me? But you avoided me? Is that how you express your feelings towards me?" I said, lifting up the uncomfortable atmosphere.

"I don't know what to say, your reaction? You're not surprised?" He asked innocently.

This guy, asking it and seeing him in that state is making him cute.

"Ofc, I'm surprised. But let me ask you. Why me? Tbh, you're a handsome man bro, why me? I'm not sexy, I don't have a firm skin like other girls have, especially girls that are attracted to you. I'm nothing special" I said while looking at the city lights to simply dodge his gaze on me.

"Why you? Well, that's you. You are just being yourself. And dont tell me that you're not pretty, because in my eyes, you are. I love all the things about you. Your flaws, your moodswings, thou sometimes you act distant, but I do know you. You understand me. You stay even I'm annoying. You accept me as I am. It may sound cliche but I like you the way you are. You're unique. You filled the broken soul I have. I'm happy when I'm with you. I feel complete." He said with a tear escaped in his eyes.

"Then why did you avoid me? Why tell me your feelings just now? I'm here waiting, I didn't tell you my feelings because I'm afraid of rejection. Our friendship might be ruin. But... but... I like you too. You don't know how much I missed you when you avoid me. I feel incomplete. I- missed you. I miss all about you. You're always there. You're everywhere. I'm already used to your presence." I said crying, I hugged him tightly.

"I thought I was the only one who has the feelings between us. What a torture because of pretending I've been doin just not for you to notice this feelings I have for you. And now that you confessed, I can't explain the happiness I'm feeling right now" I added while sobbing, my face on his shirt.

"Shh. It's fine. I'm here" He said comfortably.

After that, he look at me. Give me a peck on lips and hugged me.

"So, let's go back to the thing and what really is the topic here. Why did Ms. Khirsten called you to office? Did you do something inappropriate?" I asked while hugging him still.

"You are really a curious one, aren't you?" He said and chuckled.

What a music in my ears plus the manly scent I'm smelling.

"Do you really wanna know? He asked.

"Yeah, please answer my question" I replied.

I'm nervous. Why he can't answer me this straight?

"Okay then" he said.

"They've been preparing the papers I have because I will go to the States, I will pursue the field of psychiatry there. And luckily, my parents will be the one who will support me there" he said, looking at me and drop his gaze down and a hint of regret on his face because he just told me the answer.

"Well, I assume that's the reason you have why were you avoiding me." I said and there, I felt again that hot liquid running down on my cheeks.

"Yeah, for you to not being use to my presence, and me not to be hurt so much if I'm gone" he said while carressing my hair.

"What should we do now?" I said.

"Can you wait for me?" He said, looking at me, his thumb on my undereye, wiping my tears.

"That's difficult. Long distance is kinda difficult. But for you I will" I said.

"So are we officially couple?" he asked and wondering.

"Not yet, you dumb dickhead. Ofc, you have to court me. I'm still a woman right?" I said while smiling.

"Oh, ofc I will. It's just that, please. Please don't replace me. Pursuing my dream there is not easy without you by my side. But please, let's get going, achieve our goals even we're far away from one another. Let's call often. Even when things are getting busier and busier, please, let's make time for each other okay?" He said to me, and hug me again. He then kissed my forehead, my eyes, my nose and my lips.

---

I'm here at the airport, with him. He will go to the States. Minutes later, he'll be far. This will be the last hug we can have, a last kiss for now. A last interaction within each other personally for the mean time.

"Please, don't replace me." I said while hugging him.

"You're the only one" He said while caressing my hair.

Its awkward that were here in the airport and there's a melodrama but who cares.

"Let's call each other always, okay?" I said while crying.

"I will not stay there that permanently honey, I will go back and forth if its a summer break. I will update you that, and we can be together that time" He said.

"I will miss you so much" He added.

"But we can do this, this is our dream. We'll hold on tightly, its gonna be a bumpy ride, but we will survive this. I love you honey" He said and kiss me.

"I love you too" I said and kiss him back.

---

Years later. He came back. He as a psychiatrist and me as an Obgyne Doctor. We're both professionals and were engage.

If you really love each other, you will overcome any challenges that will throw on your relationship. As they said. Love conquers all, and also with Lord by our side. It's not easy, before he came back, we face a lot of problems, we argued, we lost time for each other. But at the end, love wins. Keep your trust, love, honesty and faith towards one another and swallow your pride for your loved ones.

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