#they did not in fact chill out

[spider-mancan]

tony's been messing around with a new AI dedicated for the suit. FRIDAY is a good girl, but is too prone to engage kill mode, so to speak, so tony has been feeding battle information and data into a new program for a while. and if recently he's been fighting a lot besides one friendly neighborhood spidey, that shouldn't make a difference.

and then tony decided to develop it further, creating a program that will analyze and make decisions based off how it's recognized tony making decisions previously. so Tony throws is a bunch of footage from the lab. and Peter is always in the lab. which, again, shouldn't make a difference.

except that AI isn't bug-free, and tony really wants to fuck Peter.

so when FRIDAY tells him he's needed in the lab, and tony casually strolls down to find Peter pinned down over a workbench, pants around his ankles, getting fucked between two suits, Tony knows it's his fault.

he knows, even though the mug of coffee in his hand falls through his fingers and shatters on the floor, that he fed the AI too much, and it figured out too much. Peter sobs out a Mr. Stark, please before his eyes roll back and he comes for the nth time, a puddle of white on the tile between his legs, and tony knows he'll never forget that, even though he knows hes a monster.

he stutters through his override, a full fifteen seconds of processing later, and Peter sobs when the robots stop holding him down and step away. theres red around his wrists and tear tracks down his cheeks. his hole is gaping open. Tony watches it clench around nothing before he remembers he should be taking care of his mentee like a good mentor instead of wanting to plunge three fingers into his cunt and hear him wail.

"they just keep going," peter mumbles, delirious, as Tony gathers him in his arms. he pressed his face into Tony's neck. "just...ah. no matter what. i tried to, to get away but--"

"shhh, it's okay now. you don't have to think about it anymore."

Peter peels away from Tony's skin and looks at him with wide, teary, empty eyes. "it felt so good, Mr. stark. Even when it was bad." he shivers, goosebumps under Tony's hand. "thank you, sir."

tony doesn't ask if peter is thanking him for the override, or because he knows that tony made those machines hold him down and fuck him until his vital got so out of control it procked FRIDAYs safety protocols.

flight gel and oil smears down Peter's thighs in thick globs, plat plat plat on the tile, on tony's leather dress shoes. "i'm so sorry," tony says, because he can't think of anything else to say, but Peter is already limp and pliant in his arms, knocked out.

later, Tony reviews the footage. 142 minutes -- not all penetrative, lots of foreplay, all of which Peter had desperately tried to get away from until roughly the 45 minute mark. peter came seven times. he started crying after the third.

Tony is a monster.

"FRIDAY, review the footage again."

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Don't Wormy About Me.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[winchester101]

The way Sanji was so jealous that Luffy was giving another cook attention

​Luffy: mm food food food

Sanji: *stomping his foot on the ground* Stop looking at other cooks!!!!!

[dreamydelite]

empty glory

[realbeefman]

stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

[basil-does-arttt]

something something one of the reasons Nero went out of his way to stop the shit twins from killing eachother on the top of the Qliphoth - besides not wanting to lose his family 5 minutes after discovering them - being that he didn't want Dante to lose his brother like he lost Credo all those years ago

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 120

Lancer hasn’t been in the business for years. He’d long since retired, having enough to live comfortably, to finally go to college, and to slip away from the scene like a ghost. Or perhaps not like a ghost, apparently they liked to make a racket. 

 But he was getting increasingly concerned about one Danny Fenton. He didn’t want to assume anything of course, but it was increasingly obvious that something was very wrong. Something familiarly wrong, even if he himself was never a part of that side of things. 

 He tries to tell himself that it’ll all be fine, he’s out of that life after all. But he can only see a teen getting shot at so many times. Can only try to convince himself not to get back into exercising and practicing his shot. He can only see that teen come into his class exhausted and bruised so many times without helping however slightly. 

But then the GIW happens. The city gets stolen into another dimension. Everyone got dosed with ecto, everyone is at risk. Danny is just a kid, who shouldn’t have to deal with this. Whose curled up in his home with his friends bandaged and bleeding green. 

It seems it might be time to call his old fling. So here he was, tapping his foot as he looked out his window far too late at night while waiting for the phone to connect. It felt like forever before it did, but that only strengthened his resolve. 

 “Hey Slade, hope you remember me because I have information about something you’ll really want to know…” 

(I misspelled and it corrected to fling instead of friend but i am keepin that in lmao)

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

[discordiansamba]

(zuko and toph in the zuko time travel AU, after getting separated from the rest of the Gaang and Chong's troupe in The Cave of Two Lovers)

zuko: ...so. you know the way out of here, right?

toph: Sure do. Thought you'd never ask!

[thekintsugikids]

so much for (tour) dust, the healing tour of all time

[shalpilot]

how to get a bad grade in Kiril

[greaseonmymouth]

logged into Netflix for the first time in a while looking for something brain dead I can watch while I zone out before I go to bed and Netflix immediately hits me with “suggestions for tonight! Explore personalised picks” so I go yeah sure why not and the first film on the list is 2004 classic The Day After Tomorrow. I’ve never felt more called out

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[noirrelite]

assorted operator/warframe doodles (early 2022) xd

[mistresscitrusslice]

If your boyfriend wouldn’t depose the head of state for you he shouldn’t be your boyfriend

[generalized-incompetence]

“Hey, Dirk,” says Tina, sniggering, “you ever heard of this movie Goncharov?”

Dirk drops a stack of five plates.

“Oh, no,” he says.

(Read on AO3 here)

Tina runs for the nearest broom as Dirk runs for the nearest computer. By the time the plate shards are swept up, Dirk has opened about sixty tabs. “This can’t be happening,” he says, clicking on five more links. “It’s not possible.”

“Mm,” says Tina, “seems around you, just about anything’s possible.”

“But Goncharov,” says Dirk, desperately. “It doesn’t exist.”

“Well, duh,” Tina shrugs. “It’s an internet joke. Crowdsourcing a made-up movie. There’s a pret-ty hot love triangle, too - wanna see?”

“No!” says Dirk, flinging up his hands. “It does exist, it just - it shouldn’t. It can’t, not anymore. I already solved that one.”

Tina stops looking for fanart. “Wait,” she says, “Goncharov is a case?”

—

“The mind wipe,” Dirk announces, half an hour later, “has failed.”

Tina, Farah, and Todd blink at him. “What mind wipe?” says Todd finally.

“The Goncharov mind wipe,” says Dirk. “It’s wearing off. Oh, I told Thor it wouldn’t last!”

“Thor?” says Farah.

“Wearing off?” says Todd.

“Wait, so there’s real footage of the hot love triangle?” says Tina.

“Focus!” says Dirk. “This is important! Clearly, the repressed memories are already bleeding through - if this spreads, who knows what will happen!”

“Not us,” says Todd, “since you haven’t told us anything about it.”

Dirk glares at him. “It’s very simple,” he says. “Loki, god of mischief, weaseled his way into a theatrical re-release of Martin Scorsese’s most famous mafia movie, in an attempt to spread his mind-controlling message to a wider audience - and also possibly for a chance to star alongside famed actor Robert DeNiro, though I have to say, Loki’s acting chops were nowhere near as professional –”

“Loki is in Goncharov?” says Tina, bouncing up and down. “Who is he? Not Andrey? Oh - Katya?”

“Er,” says Dirk, “frozen… Steve?”

“Ice pick Joe?!” says Tina.

“Wait - back up,” says Farah, getting off the couch and heading for one of the six whiteboards scattered around the agency (Dirk refuses to erase any “essential records,” which includes Mona’s doodles, Farah’s grocery lists, Todd’s drunk-after-midnight song lyrics, and Dirk’s confusing string walls, so in lieu of reuse, they just keep buying more). “Mind-controlling message? About - what, exactly?”

“World domination,” says Dirk. “What else?”

“What, like, make way for our mythological Norse overlords?” says Todd.

“Todd,” says Dirk, “the art of mind control is that of subtle insinuation. The smallest nudge to a person’s most seemingly innocuous impulse might one day bring about Ragnarok itself. The pathways of the human brain are far beyond any of us to begin to fathom.”

Todd exchanges glances with Tina. “So…” he says.

“So “Make way for our mythological Norse overlords” was embedded in the credits, yes,” says Dirk.

Farah pauses halfway through busily scribbling a semi-coherent list of Dirk’s far-from-coherent retelling. “If it’s just the credits,” she says, “couldn’t you replace that segment? Instead of mind-wiping the entire human race?”

“Yeah, who watches the credits, anyway?” says Tina. “Farah, you don’t count, no one else cares about the back-up apprentice costume designer.”

“Yes, that was my suggestion,” says Dirk, “but I was, er, overruled. Thor doesn’t generally go in for half-measures, in my experience.”

“And how extensive is that experience?” says Tina.

“We’re getting off-track,” says Dirk quickly. “The important thing is, the mind-wipe wore off. And if everyone suddenly remembers Goncharov, they’ll also remember the credits. And if they remember the credits…”

“Make way for Loki,” says Todd gloomily.

Everyone stares at the whiteboard.

“Okay,” says Farah, clapping her hands together, “so all we have to do is find Thor, find the mind-wipe technology, debug the mind-wipe technology so it works this time, figure out how to deploy it correctly, and get Thor to mind-wipe the entire human race a second time, before everyone remembers Goncharov and Loki comes back. If he’s not back already.”

Everyone stares at Farah.

The doorbell rings, and then the door bursts open. “DIRK GENTLY!” roars a voice. “Hail and well met!”

—

“You broke the mind wipe box?” says Dirk, aghast.

Thor squirms on the couch. Thor is the only one on the couch, because he takes up most of the couch. Farah is still by the whiteboard, and Todd and Tina are standing by Dirk, completely failing not to stare.

“I didn’t break it!” Thor protests. “I simply - misplaced it. Onto a chair. Which I then sat on. Which was, honestly, far worse for me than for that box, given all the unpleasantly sharp components.”

Todd shakes his head and wishes Thor didn’t sound so much like Dirk, with a deeper voice and a slightly different accent. It’s hurting his brain. He tries and fails to stop looking at Thor’s bare arms. They take up an unfair amount of his field of view.

“Thor,” says Dirk, putting his hands on his hips, “we’ve talked about this. You must be more careful where you sit.”

“Again,” says Thor, “I did not know that hat was valuable.”

“It was cursed!” Dirk squawks.

“Can everyone focus!” says Farah. “Thor, do you have the box with you?”

Thor shifts slightly and pulls out a mangled cube. It looks like a movie prop that, well, someone has sat on. The translucent blue sides are faded and dusty, and wires are poking out of the middle.

“...Sorry,” says Thor.

Tina squints at the box. “You’re tellin’ me this thing is why I forgot the boat scene?” she says. “I dressed up as the boat scene for Halloween!”

“...You were a boat?” says Todd.

“I was six,” says Tina, “and in retrospect, the homoerotic overtones went way over my head. Cool costume, though.”

Farah, meanwhile, examines the box. “This isn’t too bad,” she says. “It should definitely be fixable. Probably. Almost certainly.”

“If only we still had Patrick’s lab,” Dirk sighs.

Farah’s eyes twitch sideways. “Well…” she says.

The door opens again. “Farah!” yells Lydia. “Have you heard of this movie Goncharov?”

—

“Of course I can fix it,” says Lydia.

Everyone sits forward on their respective couch, couch armrests, chairs, or, in Dirk’s case, table. “You can?” says Thor.

“Yeah,” Lydia shrugs. “This is all 80s tech - it’s built to last. These transistors are comically huge. If you want, I can swap it out for new stuff - might take a little longer, but it’d be, like, credit card sized.”

“Could you really?” says Dirk. “Is this one of those Boring Law things?”

“Whatever’s fastest,” says Farah, before Dirk can fall down another endless hole of knowledge he’ll forget till his next case. “Lydia, do you have everything you need here?”

“Yeah, it’s all at my bench. Give me a sec.”

Lydia takes off towards the workbench Farah set up two months into Lydia’s Belize stay, and the rest of them sit back to wait. Dirk hums something under his breath. Farah goes back to writing on the whiteboard.

“So,” says Tina to Thor, after a moment of silence, “did you two ever…”

“I’ll order a pizza,” says Todd, shooting up.

—

Todd barely gets back off the phone before Lydia returns with the repaired device.

“That’s it?” says Tina, frowning at the cube.

“It’s an ancient artifact of my people,” says Thor.

“Which you sat on,” says Dirk.

“Something I learned from my dad,” says Lydia, “is that sometimes the smallest things cause the most problems. Even when the tech is ancient. Maybe especially then.”

She sets the cube on the table and taps something on the side. A blue glow creeps up the sides. The cube begins to pulse faintly, seeming to draw space in around it. It’s mesmerizing, in an unsettling sort of way.

“...Yeah, I hate that,” says Tina.

Dirk shudders. “Thor, can you…” he says.

Thor places one large hand over the cube, cutting off the hypnotic light. “I shall need a higher vantage point,” he says. “Wait for my signal.” He’s out the door before anyone can say anything else, to possibly everyone’s relief. A second later, there’s a flash of lightning, and a resounding boom of thunder, and everyone jumps as though they’ve been shocked.

“Well!” says Dirk, shaking himself and standing up. “That was… a thing.”

“Wait - that’s it?” says Todd. “We met Thor, and now he’s just… gone?”

“Yes, that’s how he generally operates,” says Dirk over his shoulder. “It’s part of the reason we… well.”

“Part of the reason you what?” says Tina.

“Popcorn, anyone?” says Dirk.

“Popcorn?” says Farah. “Why?”

“Why, for the movie, of course,” says Dirk, then pauses. “Er. I think.”

“No, there was a movie,” says Todd. “Wasn’t there? Something about - um - shit.”

Tina props her legs up on the table. “Hey, Far,” she says, “what’s up with your handwriting today? That whiteboard’s a mess.”

Farah looks at the whiteboard, where a whole square of notes has gotten completely smudged. “...Huh,” she says. “Must’ve slipped.”

“Pizza’s here,” says Lydia from the doorway, where none of them heard a knock.

“Pizza!” exclaims Dirk, and everyone entirely forgets what they were ever worried about.

(And somewhere, deep underground, Loki sighs and logs offline, thwarted again from his latest and nearly successful plan to escape at last.)