#they conversed about health a lot

[moonbreezes]

"-sickly Georgie (literally trauma bonding through sickness and period accurate “medicine”) he was ill every other month why not use it '

Sounds intresting and I haven't heard that before. What did you mean by that????

I do not know how to present this in a coherent way so allow me to create a vague list of some of the more notable events that revolved around George’s health. And I will restrict myself to only the time that he was James’s favourite.

I will not comment on George’s early years, because I cannot find any source (I might edit this later when I find anything of substance) that comments on his health. (Nonetheless I vaguely remember reading something about his poor health when he was a child.) However, there are records about him being sick whilst being already a favourite. It is especially interesting as King James often personally visited George or sent him gifts (fruits) so that he could recover quickly. There are not only third party records about George’s health and his sickness form outside visitors, but there are also letters from James directly addressed to Buckingham that mention his health.

The first incident oh his health collapsing is around late 1616, when it was speculated that he fell from grace and was not going to stick as a favourite, because of his absence. This is also around the time when he received the nickname Steenie, after St. Stephen who was dubbed as person with an angelic face. At that time, it became imminent that he was prone to being sick during moments of great tension. It might have been a prolonged sickness as it was noted around spring he was not feeling well, perhaps due to the death of one of his promoters – Sir John Graham. Some also speculated whether his poor health and absence was connected to John’s ‘fits of insanity’ (elder brother).[1]

Another incident happens three years later around June 1619. In April, James fell ill, and many feared he might die due to the severity of it. George, fearing his bad prospects after the possible death of the king was immensely relieved once James started to recover. Nonetheless the constant fear and taking care of the king resulted in him felling ill. After quick recovery he overexerted himself once again and a series of fainting spells took place, this forced him to rest much longer. After that James gave him, a stern talking to as he worried about George.[2]

Then, at the very end of Charles’s and his stay in Spain (around the end of August 1622) he, once again, fell ill which resulted in a delay of their return to England. There were rumours that he contracted syphilis while staying in Spain, which was supposed to explain a collapse in health shortly after he returned.[3]

(late April 1624 – June 2024) Then, there was the carriage incident. After the failed Spanish Match, there was a lot going on between not only between James and George but in general (Spanish weaving in accusations against George while talking with James, then there was the Parliament, James not liking what was going on and the influence George was exercising over Charles and the whole popularity thing. There was a lot). Their relationship turned colder.

He was about to leave for Windsor, for the Garter ceremonies on St George's Day, but could not bear to take Buckingham in his coach with him. The Duke, sensing that something was wrong, pressed James to say what was the matter. Thereupon the King, bursting into tears, declared that he was the unhappiest man alive, to be treated with such ingratitude by those who were dearest to him, and told Buckingham of the charges made against him. The Duke, who could not restrain his own tears, protested his innocence and called for a full investigation to discover who had given the ambassadors this false information. But James drove off to Windsor, taking only the Prince with him, and the disconsolate Buckingham was left to return to Wallingford House where he retired to bed and refused to see anybody.[4]

After that George fell ill once again. Charles in letters to Buckingham assured him, that he would mediate with James so that he would forgive the duke and the affection would return once more. Still weak in body and mind, after some time George was allowed to travel with the king in his coach. Nonetheless, his frail health was compromised once more, and illness returned. This time however, it was not entirely certain that he would survive. (James’s head physician tended to him).

Chamberlain reports on 13 May 1624: "The Duke of Buckingham hath ben sicke above this sevenight of a feaver, the jaundisse, and I know not what els, so that besides other phisicke he hath ben thrise let bloud at least, yet the world thincks he is more sicke in mind then body and that he declines apace" (Letters, 2: 558) [5]

After a difficult night, the King, fearing for his favourite’s life rushed to his side and was by his bedside for some hours. As Buckingham steadily recovered James was said to send him gifts (fruits such as cherries, melons, or grapes) daily, for which George thanked him in letters.[6] Then it is also said that at one time, he knelt at his bedside and begged the God to transfer the illness onto him so that the favourite would recover.

Dear Dad and Gossip, Though you commanded me to write no answer, yet, since I should not a slept well this night except I had done it, I hope you will excuse my disobeying of you at this time. I have been the longer a-doing of it because I might send you the certainer news of my health, which at this time is so good, what with your sweet cordial and my seasonable drawing of blood, that I hope tomorrow to wait of you a perfect man. I hope you will not be put to much pains to read this hand, since you have received so many love letters from her who joins with me in humble thanks for your kindness and care of us both. So, craving your blessing, we end Your Majesty's most humble slaves, Kate. Steenie.[7]

And once again, the affections between James and George returned to their, let’s call it, default state. Nonetheless, despite a quick recovery, during his next appearance Buckingham was supposed to be carried on a chair, as he was unable to walk or even hold a pen; his body was simply too weak.[8]

Following that, there were other minor instances when George’s health gave out.

Dear Dad and Gossip, I have not yet been able to acquaint the Ambassador with what you have found in your book, because I received your letter when I was come from him; but before I shall be able to see you, I shall have done it; for what with the rainy weather, my late coming last night, and this day's long treating with him in the garden, I have such a swelling in my throat, and such a noise in my head, that I can neither swallow nor hear well; wherefore I shall be forced for my health, if your service will permit me, to take a little physic. The physicians tells me this is the seasonablest time […].[9]

Sweet heart, Blessing, blessing, blessing […]. Remember now to take the air discreetly and peece and peece. And, for God's sake and mine, keep thyself very warm, especially thy head and thy shoulders. Put thy park of Bewlie to an end, and love me still and still. And so God bless thee, and my sweet daughter, and god-daughter, to the comfort of thy dear dad. JAMES R[10]

In January 1625, whilst dealing with various (war-related) affairs he has once more fell ill, and even the King urged him to leave London and rest in the countryside. Nonetheless this time around, he had to suffer through what was ailing him and carry on working.  And lastly the death of king James also affected George, as the grief rendered him so weak in his body that he had to be, once again, carried in a chair.[11]

So there it is. I am absolutely sorry about the amount of my yaaping about George and his health, even if is truncated. I have tried to stay coherent and do not stray from the timeline, so I hope that this little ‘compilation’ is alright. Tldr; George had health of a Victorian street urchin battling with consumption and contemporary medicine.

Bibliography

Bergeron, David M. 2002. King James and Letters of Homoerotic Desire. University Of Iowa Press.

Lockyer, Roger. 2014. Buckingham: The Life and Political Career of George Villiers, First Duke of Buckingham. Routledge.

[1] Lockyer, Roger. 2014. Buckingham: The Life and Political Career of George Villiers, First Duke of Buckingham. Routledge, 28.

[2] Lockyer. Buckingham, 55-57.

[3] Lockyer. Buckingham, 162.

[4] Lockyer. Buckingham, 187.

[5]Bergeron, David M. 2002. King James and Letters of Homoerotic Desire. University Of Iowa Press, 125.

[6] ) Bergeron. King James and…, 208.

[7] Letter form Buckingham to King James (c. 16th June 1624) ) Bergeron. King James and…, 205.

[8] Lockyer. Buckingham, 196-9.

[9] An excerpt from the letter form Buckingham to King James (c. August 1624) Bergeron. King James and…, 207.

[10] An excerpt from King James’s letter to Buckingham (c.1624) Ibid., 176.

Lockyer. Buckingham, 213, 226, 234-5.

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[kkoct-ik]

i have decided to open commishies again ... because i am poor ... i will draw little freaks for 13 dollars ... come get your little freaks here ...

[monstermoviedean]

hey do you think next time i'm stuck in another pearl-clutching hysteria fest about how cell phones are ruining The Children i should tell them cell phone bans are the technological equivalent of abstinence-only sex education

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[mxbitters]

parents are funny the way they want you to be open and honest with them, supposedly, but when you are, it leads to some fucking confrontation that didn’t need to happen, and when that happens, it leads to something you weren’t ready to say coming out, then being coaxed out into a still very much controlled held-back version of describing your lifelong experience feeling shame for existing the way you do and not being “easy” or as good as like, your little sister, academically, or as capable of masking as anyone else, and THAT carefully worded recall of just the natural fucking feelings of growing up in a frankly abusive household, resulting in.. oh, sorry, YOUR FATHER crying as if he wasnt just trying to gaslight you into thinking he didnt tell you the other day to Improve Yourself As A Person (right before the conversation about his mother entering hospice so now guess who can’t fucking mourn without associating it with that!) and that he instead was saying Improve Your Situation

and then he like catches you like visibly dissociating, comments, you try and put it in very simple words what just happened (in the same manner you have pointed out every other little thing he does to invalidate your feelings, or as he’d put it, “your feelings” yes using air quotes) and he suddenly is a fucking Psychology Scholar And Didn’t Need You To Explain What The Defense Mechanism Even Was and oh then also admitting to doing harm in the past, saying he had apologized (wonder why i dont remember), your mother(actual psychology minor) getting all “i’m sorry you feel that way” and also after a long ass tangent about there being a difference between “shamed” and “ashamed” as if you didn’t mean the word you say, a thing you did make very clear, ONCE AGAIN FUCKING CRYING ABOUT YOU BEING OPEN AND HONEST FOR ONCE AND TELLING THEM THEY HURT YOU

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

very very tired of all the many many things :')

[strixhaven]

“that’s a normal human behavior/thought that basically everyone has” not in a “you’re mentally normal and dont have any problems and are lying about whatever’s going on with you” way but instead in a “the degree to which you’re pathologizing human behavior and ascribing it to xyz disorder/syndrome is making you feel disconnected from other people and ignores the messy reality of mental well-being and how human beings function. viewing the world with such a clinical lens is ultimately detrimental to your health and also gives far too much credence and authority to psychology and mental health professionals and fails to understand how our entire idea of mental health is steeped in very human biases and is ultimately something that is subject to change and constant interpretation and reinterpretation”

[hopecomesbacktolife]

thinking of rereading the entirety of HoME again. for my health

[bibuckleykinard]

how many times do we need to learn as people that irony and hyperbole can be harmful because 'jokes' aren't easily distinguished from genuine thoughts and feelings until we stop rewarding people for speaking or posting about violence

like even if you're joking/don't actually believe that/think whoever you are insulting is bad/immoral/fictional therefore deserves it - ad hominem attacks always do more harm to the people who share those characteristic then the individual you intend to cause harm to or discredit

[aho-dapa]

This fandom is honestly...

Like, there is something to be said about fandoms in general and how they've changed as a whole generally but

There's also something about how the acotar fandom is especially toxic like

The idea that a post is surprised a murder hasn't happened yet and I found myself agreeing??? Is honestly telling

Like, also. A massive part of this is shipping and maybe it's because I have my corner of this fandom, but even then shipping the "wrong" thing in general has become something I honestly have to take in consideration when thinking of my mental health and if I can personally be prepared for any backlash??

This fandom at large doesn't feel safe and that's majorly concerning tbh

Maybe instead of saying shippers as a group are doing harm, we should just disavow harmful actions in general and not be complicit in it idk???

[deerest-deer]

thinking really hard about logging into my old tumblr acc after being gone for like a year and a half cause i stumbled upon a post that led me to my old mutuals and i teared up a lil </3 but also i feel so ashamed i left without saying a word to anyone aaaa

[tolerateit]

I understand Taylor needing a way out from a situation that wasn't filling her cup anymore (I did that) but I also understand a severely mentally unwell persono and feeling like the burden and not sure what to do? I have enough space in my heart symphathize with everyone like there are no villians here besides The Smallest Man

yeah and honestly the narrative of ttpd has been written and rewritten so many times by so many people (okay manuscript.mp3 that's a win for you) it's easy to lose track of what even is being discussed.

[honeyslow]

“there’s no such thing as false hope there’s just hope” hello thesis statement alert!

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

This fandom is very skilled at making mountains out of molehills.

[lycanthian]

one thing about me js that i be in love