#they call me the shit master

[neo-ren]

this was originally a practice sketch that actually turned out decent

i was told to keep the shirt design :P

[corvid-blues]

Hey, hey *shakes your shoulders* what if he was Spiderman

[littlefankingdom]

I fucking hate when one of my silly incorrect quotes post is successful and people reblogged it with some Bruce's slander. Get the fuck off my post.

"Talia took care of Jason because Bruce abandoned him."

Wtf are you talking about. Bruce didn't abandoned Jason, he died. And he didn't abandoned him when he came back, Jason was not in the right to ask people to prove their love to him by killing others. And he also tried to kill the Joker after Jason died, he thought he had succeeded. Like, shut the fuck up.

"I don't give Bruce credit for anything regarding Dick's education."

Well, who the fuck raised him from 8 to 18 then? Alfred Pennyworth? The same Alfred Pennyworth that raised Bruce Wayne? The one that maintained the "employee/employer" distance with the grieving child he raised. Look at young adult Bruce Wayne and I dare you to tell me Alfred Pennyworth can raise a child better than Bruce, I dare you. And don't you fucking dare blaming Bruce for it, that would be ableist af to fucking blame him for being mentally ill and labelled it as "difficult", I don't tolerate that shit. Bruce Wayne was there for Dick when he lost his parents, he helped that kid through grief and showed him love, he held him close contrary to how Alfred held him. He taught him how to be a great detective, how to be a great fighter, and all he wanted was Dick to be a better man than him. Go tell that bs to your fav and see if he agrees (he doesn't, Dick doesn’t agree and would bite your head off for saying that)

[s0fter-sin]

remember my vampire au where they can only drink the same blood type they were before they were turned? and how i kind of glossed over how ghost escaped roba’s starvation pit?

(cw gore)

he uses his anger and desire for vengeance to distract from the bloodthirst; holds the wretched heat of them close to keep his will strong enough to withstand the urge to feed from the toxic humans roba torments him with, dotted around his bar-less prison like a mocking, poisoned banquet before the destitute

the venom in his fangs turns on him, eating away at his gums and working into his calcified veins; desperately searching for safe blood, for an end to this slow death. it drips from his slack mouth, burning away his lips after melting the sinew in his jaw to the point that he can’t close his mouth anymore; his flat, human teeth loose and falling out by the day with nothing to hold them to his porous jaw

even then, ghost doesn’t waver

until finally, enough time passes that roba's underlings deem him weakened to the point of harmlessness

they get sloppy when they dump the carcasses into the pit; getting closer and closer to the edge and paying less and less attention to the starved, melting vampire left amongst the decomposition

they don't see the body ghost sequestered away; one of the first, festered and putrid, hidden under the ever growing pile and left to be forgotten

they don't see the calculating edge in his eye as he watches its flesh rot and soften; waving it off as longing, as hunger as he looks into eyes melting from their sockets

they don't see ghost sink his fingers into the rotting caverns, giving him the perfect grip to rock the head back and forth as he stares at the hand-dug dirt walls of his prison. ceaseless, repetitive movements, bone grinding on bone, muscle tearing from flesh as he slowly rips the skull free from its spine

they don't see ghost rear back and, using all the hatred and loathing he's let build in the long weeks of his hollow imprisonment, throw it at the vampire about to drop another caustic human on him; striking him in the head and tipping him off balance so he falls...

directly into ghost's waiting arms and starved fangs

[curse-of-dming-strahd]

running list of dumb things we've called Strahd:

DJ Skrahd

Strahn Von Jovi

Strahbadict Cumberbatch

Strahd Blah's Law Blog

Strahdberries and Cream

Stramallamadingdong

The Curds of Strahd

A Wasted Opportunity For Queer Representation

Stramboli

Strahmballina

[nerdy-talks]

~ A Call With Solomon ~

It starts out innocent enough, Solomon asking MC what's for dinner and MC responding to his inquiry by letting him know what they've prepared.

If Nightbringer has taught us anything it's that, even though humans technically don't get drunk from Demonus, Solomon clearly likes to drink xD

But what a nice offer! Solomon is eager to eat our cooking and wants to share a relaxing evening with us.

That should be the end of the phone call, right?

Wrong.

Our devious teacher actually called us and intentionally spoke to us as if we were married in order to deliberately make Lucifer jealous... and it worked! xD

Solomon the Sneaky Sorcerer ¬‿¬

My reaction :

I'm not sure if Solomon was lowkey threatening Lucifer since Lucifer insulted him, or maybe Solomon was simply prepared and willing to show off his abilities.... but either way, talk about an intense phone call to receive (no doubt the tension could be felt through the phone ^^")

Gotta admit, I do think it's funny that Lucifer indirectly called Solomon foolish, especially since Barbatos calls him an imbecile and shows no restraint when it comes to insulting his intelligence ... Poor Solomon lol

Then to rub it in even further :

Solomon just HAS to reiterate that he's the one who is coming home to us.

If there's a war between demons and humans, Solomon will be the cause....

The battle of the old men lol

[l-inator]

I call this one...

"Is it Worth it?"

An ode to Terraria master mode.

-

The biblically accurate blurry furry below vvv

[wisteriaclaw]

The First Spinjitzu Master as The General and The Overlord as The Nowhere King

by which i mean, a being who once was whole splitting itself in two in order to rid itself of evil, only to release a greater evil upon the world. obscuring the truth and rewriting history to paint its grave mistake as the natural order of things

[ssaalexblake]

honestly the best moment in the woman who fell to earth is when Yaz and Ryan are tasked with operating a crane by the doctor and they have to youtube it to work out how. So underappreciated. So realistic. Of Course they'd go on youtube to work it out and of course there's be a video on there telling people how to work a crane.

[highoncatfood]

more teen yomiakou sorry theyre my ocs now.Sorry. uh anyway close ups below >_>

[majorasnightmare]

from one mineru lover to another ... can i pleek hear the headcanons you have for her

KICKS DOWN DOOR

YES ABSOLUTELY

some loose context for the headcanons i have for her

the zonai hail from the silent realm and formed 3 major settlements originating from the decaying trial gates, one in the sky islands, one in faron, and one below in the depths (using the eldin gate that had since been buried under hyrules changing landscape). by the time of totks ancient era, the zonai had been slowly and steadily migrating back to the silent realm with mineru and rauru being the last to stay

hailing from the silent realm, the zonai culturally place a massive emphasis on self betterment through trials, self inflicted or otherwise, as a way of marking time through growth, in service to the goddesses

im using the oot elements, so the gerudo get spirit (which manifests as lightning) and mineru gets shadow, linking her to the sheikah and the technology theyll create

rauru and ganondorf are exes who had an EXTREMELY messy breakup before rauru founded hyrule

i can elaborate on that more (and will later) but for NOW

MINERU

so i headcanon mineru as this character thats deeply atheistic and autistic. which doesnt make a lick of sense until i explain it further lmao

mineru, to me, is this person thats deeply materialist, whereas her brother rauru is deeply idealist, and sonia is a staunch spiritualist (which is why her and rauru make such a good match for each other). minerus primary concern is The Real. the golden goddesses are Concretely Real but their influence is negligible. mineru grows up in a culture that dedicates themselves to spiritual self growth through trials of self betterment for, ostensibly, the sake of three goddesses no one will ever see or talk to or be touched by. they exist, surely, because the triforce exists, because their power exists, but mineru will never see them, hear them, talk to them, touch them, or see their hands mold reality. in every aspect she would care about, They Are Not Real. and so ascribing to a cultural norm of "betterment through trial" (needless struggle and self doubt) just. doesnt click for her. why chase spiritual enlightenment when theres shit to do RIGHT here?

shes this kind of gruff, non social person who nonetheless cares deeply and intensely but wants to dedicate her effort and energy to things she considers important. her brothers important. her work is important. vague divine approval? unimportant. shes more concerned with how things tick than the Grand Plan of it all.

a lot of this makes itself manifest in her role (in my headcanons and aus) as the sage of shadow, if you understand shadow as Unseen (Concealed) Truth. why do the islands float? how does zoanite work? what can we do with this energy? what can we make? how can we build on it? shadow magic, imo, requires a strong thread of creativity. its what makes OoTs shadow temple so brutal and the history behind it so heinous. but it isnt inherently bad. its creativity, imagination, the Unreal. its the drawing of a curtain and the throwing it aside. this underlying current, the need to understand How and Why, is what makes minerus cutscenes with this understanding so much more enjoyable to me.

mineru is this character defined by her inventions, whos headpiece mirrors the goggles purah and robbie wear, whos role as shadow, the creator the inventer the counterculture, will be revisited when the sheikah create technological wonders that will spread throughout hyrule. she makes a mech to house her soul to survive the thousands of years into the future. whereas other sages choose a successor, mineru says "youll see me there in the temple my damn self." because if you want something done right you do it yourself!

i headcanon mineru and rauru as hailing from the sky island zonai civilization, and theyre the last hyrule dwelling generation. she grew up watching these senseless tests of courage that just risked major injury for no good reason, and then her baby brother goes off to better himself because he wants to make a meaningful impact in the world, and it just cascades into a dominos of bad decisions. she doesnt put any stock into divine intervention because the only people who can save anything are us. i picture her being endlessly fascinated by her home and the constructs and that curiosity being the foundation for a lot of what she does from there on out. becoming a fantasy mechanic, an inventor, getting down into the nitty gritty of a machine and getting covered in grime and oil but not caring because theres a problem that needs fixing and she has a wrench. voraciously tearing into any book she can find, any historical record, being this treasure trove of information and trivia and history because she cant help but come back to those questions, how?, why?, again and again.

itd be easy to hear her described as anti social and gruff, and see her interpreted as a little standoffish and blunt, and end up viewing her as kind of an ass, and you wouldnt be wrong per se but its really just that mineru only really puts effort into a relationship she cares about, and she really REALLY pro cons that shit. her first and foremost concern is rauru, her little brother, and as the zonai migrate back to the silent realm, her last remaining family. when rauru descends to the surface in search of problems to fix and Be Of Help, mineru correctly assesses his budding relationship with the gerudo royal is one fated for disaster, because nothing good comes from entering a relationship just to "fix them" regardless of how well intentioned and kind hearted you may be. because of this she doesnt invest much into getting to know ganondorf as he interacts with her brother, because shes expecting it to blow up and doesnt want any of that blowback. nevertheless when that comes to a head in the WORST possible way (a situation in the au that results in the creation of the gibdo queen, the first blood moon, the deaths of several gerudo guards and the eventual deaths of koume and kotake, a situation that will then contribute to The TotK situation) mineru beats herself up every day for not being more involved. her brother is sweet, and truly believes in the ideals of the zonai he was raised with, that to struggle is to overcome trial and better ones self, and such an effort is a spiritual responsibility of those hailing from the silent realms, created by divine hands, because of the power theyre capable of wielding. she cant fault him for that, because rauru IS capable of great good and he WANTS to help people so bad, but as mineru surmised years earlier, when your inundated with this concept that You Have Power and your Obligated To Use It, you never stop to think that maybe you arent the best person to solve this issue. you cant use a wrench for a screwdrivers issue. and knowing that, knowing rauru is driven to help but too inexperienced to know what he CAN help with, mineru feels responsible for not stopping him from biting off more than he can chew. (rauru, on his end, solely blames himself)

so shes a bit More Present when he meets sonia and when his idealism leads him to found hyrule, she stays close, but she really can NOT be assed to be dragged into politics because jesus christ. no. but she continues to be like. Peak Older Sister. every time rauru has a problem, shes the one he turns to. every time rauru wants advise, he asks mineru. he loves her a lot and relies on her guidance because he considers her one of the smartest people he knows (she is, along with sonia) and even though most of the time its rauru once again trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, theyve basically been abandoned by the rest of their people (who have written hyrule off as this kind of Fun Ordeal but Not Worth It as they go on being fucking. philosopher kings in a realm of Eternal Silent Trial where you can freely perfect whatever magic bullshit you want without worry of a body count or, ya know, consequences because very little is physically tangible there). mineru isnt going to like. continue that trend, and just leave rauru to it. hes a grown adult for sure, but that just means its his responsibility to grow and change as a person, not that he cant ask for help. especially because she doesnt want him to handle everything alone

so shes hands off with the hyrule business, and plus sonias got a good head on her shoulders, shes a nice balance to raurus Impulsive Do Gooding and helps him move from individual action to Systemic Good (tho that in itself is another one of Raurus Bad Impulsive Ideas because founding a Divine Kingdom of Good is a fools errand). and for the most part mineru is fairly assured that it wont blow up too horribly (*loud incorrect buzzer*) but man. when they show up with zelda.

so raurus very much a "im divinely obligated to help people" and sonias v much a "fate ordained our meeting" type and mineru is very very much Not That. but zelda? zelda is so much closer in personality to mineru, so when rauru and sonia show up with this girl from the future that theyve basically adopted, minerus like "alright you are once again Back On Your Bullshit so im NOT getting Into It" AND YETTT. zelda ALSO cant stop asking how? and why? (because light and shadow are closer than most people think), and zeldas so invested in what makes this tech work, how it functions, what makes it go, and while rauru and sonia try to give zelda the best they can, zeldas also similarly thrilled to get her fancy white dress all gunked up with oil cuz theres a plug that needs reconnecting and mineru cant get her hand thru the gap. they get on like a house on fire and despite herself mineru loves zelda. absolutely adores her. which was NOT on todays to do list, for sure. and so despite herself mineru is now including zelda in her (very small) circle of family and similarly mineru is this gruff no nonsense figure zelda can earnestly talk to whos similarly concerned with the Real and the Practical and how it can be applied to solve our problems instead of omens chasing and prophecy fulfilling. which is why mineru goes out of her way to help zelda in a way she generally doesnt for sonia because well. zeldas basically her niece. and sonia can handle herself. and also zelda loves hearing about weird programming quirks in the constructs. so its really just kind of inevitable

but minerus pursuit of knowledge is why she knows about draconification (and rauru doesnt), and why rauru comes to her for help because thats kind of his habit. its a lot like asking big sis to beat bowser for you cuz you cant get it, and like she clowns on you for it but still takes the controller.

and when rauru and sonia are like "the ganondorf situation is Our Problem and we arent involving zelda" mineru is 100% behind that because uhh YEAH rauru it IS ur problem this is YOUR ex and your series of Questionable Decisions, but also why she throws herself into it because she does still carry that responsibility. she still feels that guilt for not protecting rauru from himself as his older sister, and that so many people suffered, and that now more people she cares about ARE suffering and WILL suffer. a feeling thats compounded by raurus sacrifice sealing ganondorf

understanding how the sky islands float was a childhood dream of minerus, to understand the hand of the divine and make it tangible and real, and while she achieves that, with the help of someone who really truly gets her and her work, the context surrounding it is so grief stricken and heart rending it thoroughly spoils the joy of scientific pursuit, which is probably why it isnt something mineru records in a lot of detail. in a lot of ways mineru loses all the people she considers family to that same Hand of Divinity, which imo makes mineru being atheist more richly thematic and adds to her character. its this combination of "am i being punished for my lack of faith?" alongside this determination to assert your individual power in SPITE of divine influence, taking herself to the present by her own craft and the sheer power of ingenuity and creativity and the aid of an equally learned peer. also her spirit bond is on the middle finger. i love that for her

this is long as fuck so im throwing bonus thoughts in the tags

[raspberry-gloaming]

All these fobwatch fics atm make me want to write

[leighsartworks216]

"'Master', is it?"

SIR NO

[skrunksthatwunk]

miraculous world: new york asks the bold question: what if batman and superman were lesbian married with children

[lexicals]

GOD WATCHING THE OPENING SCENE AGAIN WITH CONTEXT HURTS LIKE A BITCH HUH

[sankttealeaf]

t4t ruetash is a concept that keeps popping in my head and its so funny to me

theyre normal kids. a little weird but theyre best friends. and then theyre torn apart.

and ten/fifteen years later you (rue) decide that being hand crafted by bhaal isnt what you want. youre a girl now. fuck you father, i do what i want (your first ever act of rebellion). and then the chosen of bane wants to meet and youre like. cool. i guess this will be a thing

and you meet this guy who looks a bit like your childhood friend but is it rude to compare him like that? different name but theres something there thats familiar to you

and then you both find out that you are each others childhood friend. and then both go "wow. things make a lot of sense now."

rue does gortash's top surgery and gets waaaaay too into it but the cuts are perfect and heal nicely so he doesnt complain

gortash gets her hormones from the black market (and refuses to elaborate how) and says he knows a guy who could do her bottom surgery. she says its fine, she wants to do it herself (bad idea) (he kind of wants to see how it goes)

when its late at night and theyre both in each others arms they talk about names and stuff and how part of the process of giving themselves new names is to put distance between their past

gortash doesnt want to be linked back to his family. rue doesnt want to remember the fact she killed her family.

i think he would give her the rue nickname in this fun au. and thats something they have, not their gods

anyway thats all. always thinking about them :3