#they are the MOST married

[krysmcscience]

I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.

Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:

Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao

this is so stupid :D

Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.

[bluegiragi]

generous.

early access + nsfw on patreon monster!AU masterpost

[mr-malumm]

Cringetober day 28: mascot horror!!!!!!

I love springtrap hes my wifes wife BEHDHSHSHAHAH

[ncoley]

fellas does your boyfriend ever feel a little sad so you create an elaborate story that makes him think he's the chosen one from ye olde prophecies and you have everyone he's ever known stand around and clap for him

[marc--chilton]

domineering wife look sent to a husband who didn't realize he was supposed to side with her in the argument

then the face of husband who realizes in that second he needs to fix this or he's gonna get snubbed in tense car conversation on the way home

[sleepnoises]

"You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore," 54" by 54" quilt by Robyn Gragg of Lee's Summit, MO

The artist's description of the piece:

In the language of flowers, many species relate to grief, sorrow, and remembrance. My husband enjoyed surprising me with fresh flowers, but he has gone to Glory and I am lost in my grief.

Hand pieced, machine appliqued, longarm machine quilted, original design.

[tossawary]

Admittedly, I don't tend to read much fanfic in fandoms I write for, because I don't want to get my canon and fanon mixed, so my selection is limited, but I've never seen anyone mention the fact that Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu (Shen Jiu) had a big sister.

One of the children in their "group", presumably numbered between "1" and "6", was a girl, and when he remembers her, Shen Jiu directly associates this lost person with safety and comfort. He thinks of her as the equivalent to Qiu Haitang before Qiu Haitang: someone who provided a place to "hide" from the rest of the world. It's not just that there happened to be an older girl in their group, but this was a girl whom Shen Jiu apparently liked and trusted.

Here's the relevant quote from Part 4 of the Qijiu Extras in SVSSS Volume 4 (the one where Yue Qingyuan finds Shen Qingqiu fighting with Liu Qingge in the brothel):

"All those years, whenever one of his beatings from Qiu Jianluo was over, or whenever he had a premonition of another beating, he had crawled to Qiu Haitang’s room and remained there, quivering. As Qiu Jianluo was unwilling to let his sister see the side of him that was perverse and lunatic, that had been the only place where Shen Jiu could hide.

And even longer ago, there had been some girl in their group, their big sis. But after she reached a certain age, that big sis had been sold to a withered old man to be his second wife. Afterward, they’d left that city, so they’d never seen her again.

Liking women wasn’t the least bit shameful, but treating women like saviors, cowering within their embrace and seeking courage from them… even without anyone saying it, Shen Qingqiu knew that was horrendously shameful. So even if it meant his death, he would never tell anyone, least of all Yue Qingyuan."

So, on the very short list of people that the original Shen Qingqiu actually liked even a little bit, there's: 1) Yue Qi before he became Yue Qingyuan, 2) Qiu Haitang, 3) Ning Yingying, 4) "the tender young lady carrying the pipa" who "had long since thrown on her thin robes and dashed out in terror" when Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu were fighting, maybe, and 5) this unnamed big sister who was sold off and never seen again.

I've seen plenty of fics and fic ideas where Shen Yuan transmigrates in as a twin to Shen Jiu or a biologically unrelated sibling to SJ and YQ by being a part of their group, but not as this barely canon big sister character. He could give both Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu so, so many more Jiejie issues, I'm sure.

[nibbelraz]

Shen Twins modern au where Bingpup is cuddling up to Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu is absolutely CONVINCED that dog has some evil scheme it's planning (SPOILER: He is)

[waltricia]

We have not spent nearly enough time talking about how Nicola Coughlan is the most beautiful kisser in the world.

And this kiss should have immediately ended the “it’s rushed” debate. Because if a woman kissed me like that, 100% I’m marrying her. Are you fucking kidding me? Colin’s subsequent unhinged behavior is completely justified.

I will not be taking any questions on this.

[starrystevie]

“i must have been real sweet on you,” eddie murmurs as he runs his fingers over his husband’s cheek, sleepy and sated, warm in their bed. 

steve chuckles, twisting his head to catch the tips of eddie’s fingers with a kiss. “why are you talking past tense? you’re not sweet on me now?”

the room is peacefully still. years of baby monitors are long gone only to inevitably give way to their daughter’s teenage years of slamming doors and too loud stereo speakers. but in this moment, with the pale moonlight streaming in through the windows and crickets chirping in the distance, the room is peaceful, thick with love. 

“quit your pouting, ‘course i’m sweet on you now.” eddie wipes away steve’s fake frown with a kiss, turning it into a sticky sweet grin. “it’s just something my mom used to tell me. that freckles are all the places your soulmate in a past life kissed you.”

eddie pushes steve back so he’s laying flat on the mattress and dips his head to press featherlight kisses on the side of his neck. across his shoulders. over his cheeks. his fingertips flutter over the spots afterwards, leaving goosebumps in their wake despite the heat radiating between them. 

“must have loved you a whole lot in our last lives to leave so many on you now,” eddie whispers, pulling back to stroke the back of his hand over steve’s face once more, letting his lips curl up in a dopey half smile that only steve ever gets to see. 

it doesn’t take long for steve to tilt his head up and press kisses of his own where he can; under eddie’s eye, the bottom of his chin, right over his heart. it doesn’t take long for eddie to giggle as his sensitive spots are found and attacked with ticklish kisses and fluttering eyelashes. it doesn’t take long for their legs to tangle together underneath the sheets and their breaths to get caught in their chests and their hearts to start beating a beautiful melody of their own making. 

steve lays a firm kiss to the side of eddie’s chest, over jagged white scarring and half bitten away tattoos. over memories that somehow don’t haunt them as much anymore. 

“what was that one for?” eddie asks, eyes half lidded, the adoration in his voice loud across the quiet room. 

another kiss on another scar. “wanna give you some freckles. for your next life and for this one, too. so you know just how sweet on you I am-” kiss, “ -and was-” kiss, “- and forever will be.”

they won’t know for however many more years if it worked or not. but here in this lifetime, they have all the time in the world to try their damndest to make sure it does. in this lifetime, they don’t have to worry, because they know they’ll  find each other in the next one. 

[morganbritton132]

Steve is sitting at the table in the kitchen FaceTiming Tommy to help his daughter with her math homework when Eddie brings his live-stream into the room.

“While Isla’s in the bathroom, I’m going to do the same,” Steve says, standing up. He tells them both, “Play nice.”

They do not do that because it’s funnier to keep the rivalry going. The first thing Eddie says when Steve steps out is, “Does it still eat you up inside that I married him?”

Tommy replies easily with, “Are you still jealous that I kissed him first?”

Carol chimes in, “Actually I kissed him first.”

“Doesn’t count,” Tommy and Eddie say at the same time. “There was no tongue.”

“And no declaration of love,” Eddie adds. “Only I got that.”

“Actually…” Robin says, never letting anybody forget. “He confessed he was in love with me and I didn’t have to kiss him.”

[butchotter-md]

the best part about house md is that house is a stupid ass name

[blujayonthewing]

Melliwyk's parents met at the botanical gardens; Tukklewyn was (illegally) collecting insects and nearly bumped into Xenia, who was sketching ferns and the centers of coneflowers. They exchanged pleasantries, and he quietly watched her work for a few moments before wandering off. A little while later he returned and placed an empty snail shell, one of its outer walls filed away to reveal the growth pattern in cross section, onto her open sketchbook. "It's a common misconception that snail shells grow in a golden spiral," he said pleasantly, pointing to the meticulously diagrammed pattern she'd mapped of a flower's center. "It's actually a logarithmic spiral, but I still thought you might find it interesting."

[phoenixkaptain]

Everytime I think about Obi-Wan and Anakin it’s like- I don’t ship them so much as I think they should be together at all times. I think tcw had a point, actually, and the two of them should just. Always be together. I think Anakin is Obi-Wan’s hope in an increasingly difficult life and I think Obi-Wan is Anakin’s tie to humanity when he most feels like a monster. They are intrinsically combined, from the very first movie where Obi-Wan dies at Vader’s hands with a peaceful expression.

It’s Obi-Wan begging Luke not to see Anakin in Vader while Vader searches Luke to see some sign of Obi-Wan. It’s Obi-Wan calling Anakin another pathetic lifeform to Obi-Wan being unable to process the idea of Anakin being anything but good. It’s Anakin awkwardly (adorably) shaking Obi-Wan’s hand to Anakin awkwardly (adorably) bringing up Obi-Wan during conversations with the woman he wants to seduce.

It’s Obi-Wan knowing how to fix Artoo and Obi-Wan teasing Anakin about Artoo. It’s Anakin’s first thought on losing his lightsaber being “Obi-Wan’s going to be mad at me again” and Anakin laughing when Obi-Wan tells him to drive better.

The prequel trilogy is so fascinating because my favourite parts are always Anakin and Obi-Wan. The parts I think about the most often are those parts with Anakin and Obi-Wan. The relationship between these two drives the entirety of the plot of the prequels, to the point that the literal birth mother of the main characters of the original trilogy is all but forgotten in the third movie.

It’s. Obi-Wan spending years watching over Luke because Luke reminds him of Anakin, never approaching because what if Luke really does turn out to be like Anakin…?

It’s Vader assuming that Obi-Wan taught Luke to fight, because who else could teach a Skywalker?

It’s Obi-Wan accepting all the blame for the people he knew best, the people who were basically his family, all dying.

It’s Vader keeping Obi-Wan’s lightsaber in a parallel to Obi-Wan keeping Anakin’s.

They are just. Mutually Obsessed. Obi-Wan held up Anakin and said “this is my whole personality now” and Anakin responded with “neato, same.” They bicker like an old married couple. Anakin can’t imagine even thinking about leaving Obi-Wan behind. Obi-Wan tells Anakin point-blank that he’s a good Jedi who deserves to be a Master.

I ship them because like. The universe? Does?? They are destined to be by each other, in life and in death. They support and sustain each other. There was probably eepy Force magic stuff that made Anakin into a Force ghost because Obi-Wan wanted him to be one.

How else can I explain it? They were made for each other. Like. Literally. They should never be separated. Look what happened when they did separate in universe. They are a nuclear bomb. They have to stay together or the galaxy gets the worst of it, and that’s just canon, somehow.

[dancingdaffodils08]

I think they should have a wedding, that way Jace will be too busy making out with Baela to go die.

[theblindgoddess]

Epic the Musical AU

An au that begins after Aphrodite wins the golden apple and she shows Paris what is basically a magic video recording of Helen, telling him about his future bride.

However, in this magic video recording Helen is spending time with Penelope, and Paris goes "forget that Helen chick, I want that one."

And Aphrodite just goes with it, so instead of kidnapping Helen, Paris and Aphrodite kidnap Penelope, and a baby Telemachus to help them better control Penelope.

Odysseus is rightfully murderous, and even if he doesn't have the benefit of a treaty to get all of the Greeks on his side, he is still able to strong arm and lie his way into getting that massive army to besiege Troy and get his wife back.

And over in Troy Penelope is making the situation as insufferable for Paris as she possibly can, she will cause all of the problems until she can get back home safely with her son.

This au would be called Penelope of Troy.