#they are supportive but you have to have luck when you post doesn't matter how many people follow you or not

[savebylou]

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[lushlovers]

The P-word, J Burrow

summary; he doesn't know what to say or how to react to things like this.

warnings; fluff fr, mentions of pregnancy and pregnancy tests, pet names (baby, honey, ) joe actually kinda sucks with words but same lmaoooo, swearing, kissing

word count; 903

note; yes angst but also fluff. i'm working on more frat!lsu!joey, but this was something random I wanted to post since it's been a little while. i hate the ending no one talk about it. winter writer's block ain't no joke fr.

this is kind of my thank you for two hundred followers even though we are just on the cusp of three, but thank you so much, I appreciate the support of my works more than you will ever know. i love every one of my followers so so sooo much yall are the best:)

Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. Maybe the more you think of those eight letters will fade away and completely off the little plastic at-home test you decided to finally take. God the word just keeps ringing in your head like the most annoying of alarms. How the hell are you supposed to tell him? His career's just started he'll never be along for the roller coaster ride, especially not when it consists of a baby running around as well.

However, luck chooses to be your opponent this evening since Joe's already home and sitting on the couch in the living room, completely oblivious to the fact that your world has just turned completely upside down. It took a while for you to work up the nerve to call him up, but when you did everything suddenly felt so heavy.

The weight refused to leave your shoulders as he sat on the truck at the foot of your bed. Rehearing in the mirror, preparing for every scenario, but especially for the one that you hope and pray will never occur. Everything that you've been through together, nothing will go wrong, he's too good of a person.

After several minutes, worry becomes evident in your voice as he asks you through the door if everything's alright, "'M fine, just nervous, I guess." That seemed to do the opposite of what you intended, that is, maybe your lying and saying you're fine would shut him up for a bit, but your being nervous led to many other questions from the other side of the door.

Adding on to that p-word, every what if clouds your mind as well. What if telling him this is your biggest regret? What if he just packs his shit and leaves? What if-, "Baby, are you sure?" Fucks sake he's still going with his questions, in any less stressful situation this would've been appreciated, but not when you can barely seem to focus on the most topic at hand.

Now or never, seemed to be the only thing that got you to push open the door and finally face the man you love so dearly. He almost instantly jumps up, concern written all over his face even more so when he glances in the direction of your hands. "Do you wanna tell me what's going on?" No, not entirely, you think but you won't let that escape your mouth, matter of fact, nothing leaves your mouth for many seconds. Maybe never was a good idea.

It took a bit for you to unscramble your words and finally speak up, "I'm gonna tell you something, but you have to try not to freak out." Your mouth felt dry the way your anxiety made your throat close up made it feel like your lungs had shrunk five times the size they were before, "Okay, care to share? I'm like shitting my pants right now," Joe spoke, chuckling but not because it was funny, he laughs because he's terrified of what words may escape your lips.

You do everything you can to avoid his eyes because the all too familiar feeling of tears surfaces on your waterline and his brows furrow at that. "Honey, you know you can tell me anything, yeah?" His question is lost to you as he cups your face thumbing away the tears before they got a chance to slip down your cheeks. The feeling of his eyes searching yours for any answer to all the questions that he's thinking about is a scary feeling.

"I'm pregnant," it comes out as a whisper, but the way the color completely drains from his face, you know he understood every syllable of those two words. For a split second, he stares at you with a look you don't think you've ever received from him before, "That's... wow." A strangled breath of half relief and half worry escapes you at his response.

Your soul leaves your body as he racks his brain for something to say to express just how he's feeling, but he's almost certain there is no possible way to verbally explain it. Now tears are welling up in his pretty blue eyes, "That's insane, I dunno what to say, are you sure?" His voice is trembling just as much as his hands as you place the test into his palm, he gets choked up as he reads over the same word that had your stomach in knots before with nothing but admiration and surprise.

"Holy fucking shit," he gapes, pulling you into him so tight it nearly knocks the wind right out of you. You laugh now as it settles into your mind that Joe would never do anything to hurt you or your baby in any way possible and to think he would ever leave in a situation like this one was silly, but thinking irrationally tends to happen quite a lot.

"I'm gonna be a dad, I need to call-" you cut him off before he's able to go on his rant, "How about we pause, and we can tell whoever we want in the most extravagant, Joseph Burrow way possible?" He snorts at that, pulling his face away from his place against your shoulder, muffling some form of agreement against your lips, then your jaw, neck, and clavicle, and lowering himself to his knees.

For a moment he looks up at you, "Sorry if I scared you with my response, I don't usually know what to say in times like this and my brain went into shock mode."

[fuwaprince]

HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP PLEASE

Hi everybody, how are we doing? I hope you're enjoying the beginning of fall. Now that I'm done just being hospitable, can I just be honest? Can I vent? Can I be heard? Am I allowed to express my hurt? Can I please request for aid?

I am struggling to all hell. On and off the streets and been homeless since June 1st. I don't need resource information- I need immediate relief in the form of financial support. My partner and I are doing our best to be strong but being strong does not help when we're in the position where we're lucky just to eat, or do laundry. Over this summer I have been robbed of my possessions (cards, clothes, cash, toiletries, my phone... all of which I struggled to get to begin with). I have been sexually assaulted and put through violent situations. Detained because people LIED and I guess that means guilty until proven innocent. Woke up undressed for reasons unbenounced to me in a house fire surrounded by flames and SOMEHOW, unfortunately survived. Somehow contracted a disease that has no fucking cure. I have reached out to EVERYONE I KNOW BEGGING FOR HELP. I have taken so much shit in exchange for the smallest amount of help, for food, for access to medical attention or a shower or for privacy. I have been homeless with a 103 degree fucking fever that lasted for days and got no help because I was too sick to move. I crawled to a shower and sat on the floor hoping my brain wouldn't melt (which it begins to at such temperatures btw). All this did not happen because I'm "lazy" or "a bad woman".

I am a woman presenting person who probably should have just been born in the right body or into the right wealthy ass family. I am in my 20s. I have been told I would make a great prostitute but I wasn't even made for of- nor am I interested. My abusive ass neglectful ass family are not helping me through my situation and my mom tells me I deserve it so that she doesn't have to cry while listening to me explain how bad things have gotten. I have a stab wound on my neck. I have burns on my body. I did not put those there myself. How could anybody deserve any of that? How could anybody do nothing to help? How can you just look at me and pessimistically say, "good luck". Or give the apathetic and unhelpful "me too" response.

My partner lost his dog after the fire. Can you imagine having to pretend like that doesn't matter because you have to worry about food? Can you imagine trying to provide emotional support because red cross never called back after you requested for health services? When your school says they can't help you because it's out of the budget???? "LIMITED FUNDS" they say. I was on the Dean's honor roll for TWO semesters in a row, almost close to getting my BA (just a few classes away). I was a student leader. UNTIL I had to finally say fuck that shit and drop. I have enough credits to graduate but I do not see how the fuck I'm going to survive until 2025.

I need help! Please help? Words of encouragement are appreciated but please help me raise enough for a down payment for a car to live in. That is what I'm asking for, at least for winter. I would like an apartment but California is so outrageous with prices, all I can hope for realistically is a car. Anything would help. Nothing is expected.

Please rb this post, if you can, it helps.

Always remember to maintain your humanity and that love persists.

Garlic haters DNI

my paypal is @garyanne

[jerzwriter]

A Time to Heal

Trystan x Carolina

One thing is for certain. When @/artbyainna (IG) comes to bat, she only hits home runs. I have run out of superlatives to describe how incredible her art is a long, long time ago... but she did it again! I simply love this!

Book: Crimes of Passion (Post Series) Pairing: Trystan Thorne x F!MC (Carolina Rose) Rating: Mature / 18+ / NSFW Words: 1,500 Summary: After a rough day on the job, Carolina & Trystan return to her apartment, where Trystan wants nothing more than to take care of her. But in the end, they realize they do their best healing together. A/N: @lexicook74-blog asked for a Trystan x Carolina hurt/comfort fic a long, long time ago. I can take a long time to get to them, but I'm determined to do all asks sent to me :) I hope you like it! Submitting to @choicesjunechallenge2024. It doesn't fit any of the prompts completely, but we can see indecision before he surrenders.

The two flights of stairs that led to Carolina’s apartment were something she and Trystan typically navigated with ease. If she took double steps, she'd be upstairs in a matter of seconds. Sometimes, Trystan would yell, “Race you!” when he already had a three-step lead, and they’d both end up panting before her door in an instant. But today wasn’t a typical day.

Trystan trudged along, inches behind his limping partner, who let out a soft whimper with every other step she took. Ensuring she got upstairs was his only concern, so he did his best to conceal his own pain. With just four steps to go, he thought he was in the clear when a muscle spasm seized his back and thwarted his plans.

“Ow! Ow, ow, ow... ouch!” He cried out in pain.

“Trystan,”  Carolina exclaimed. “What’s wrong? I knew you were hurt, too!”

“It’s nothing,” he replied, trying to wave it off, but his clenched teeth said otherwise. “If the Drakovian press knew I was whining about something so superficial, the people would demand my passport be rescinded at once.”

Carolina shook her head and leaned against the door as she fished around the bottom of her purse to find her keys.

“Does everything have to tie back to some strange Drakovian lore?”

“Usually,” he smirked, placing a kiss on her cheek.

A feeling of tranquility washed over them as they stepped inside. Carolina’s apartment. It was small and far from fancy, but the warm, cozy space always gave them a sense of peace. At minimum, they were pretty sure the floor under their feet would support them. Something they hadn’t had the luxury of earlier today.

“Come,” he said, guiding her to the couch. “Let’s get you seated.”

“Me?” she protested. “But you’re hurt, too!”

“Your hip is badly bruised and you’ve been limping! I still say you should have seen a doctor! You’re hurt. I merely have a boo-boo.”

“A boo-boo?” Carolina chuckled as he sat beside her. “Can I kiss it and make it all better?”

The smirk on his lips and the fire coming alive in his eyes made his thoughts clear, but ensuring his girlfriend was all right was his priority this evening.

“If you’re a good girl and let me take care of you, maybe I’ll let you tend to my boo-boos later.”

He rose from the couch to get Carolina an ice pack, but she reached for his hand and stopped him in his tracks.

“No, stay with me.”

“Lina,” he sighed. “Let me take care of you! You fell through a floor in an abandoned building today!”

“Ehh,” she shrugged. “It’s all in a day’s work. I’ve been through much worse. Besides, you fell through that same floor!”

“I just pulled a muscle,” he said, arching his back. “It’s nothing.”

“Well, mine is really nothing, too. We were quite lucky.”

“Of course we were,” he grinned, placing a buss on her lips. “You’re my good luck charm, after all.”

“Please,” she laughed. “Your life has been filled with one nightmare after another since we met. I’m hardly your good luck charm.”

“Ah, but I survived every one of those challenges, some of them largely because of you, so I’m sorry, Detective Rose. You’re my good luck charm. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make you chicken soup.”

“Chicken soup?” She queried. “That’s for colds and the flu, not two idiots falling through a ceiling.”

“Yes, but in times of trouble... we go with what we know. So, chicken soup it is.”

An hour later, they sat at the kitchen table, still sore, but full bellies delivered some relief.

“See, I told you,” Trystan mumbled as he bit into a crusty piece of bread. “Chicken soup heals all.”

“I guess,” Carolina smiled but quickly winced as her aches reminded her they were far from gone.

“Are you OK?”

“Just sore. I’m thinking of taking two Advil and then getting into a hot bath.”

“Don’t say another word!” He took their plates and began clearing the table. “I’ll go run the water for you.”

“Trystan, I can run my own bath!”

“Nope! This is not a battle you will win.”

“Fine,” she laughed. “I’ve learned to choose my battles with you. But make sure you add the new bubble bath we bought. This is a great time to start using it”

Moments later, Trystan helped Carolina to the bathroom; her face lit up when she saw what he had done. The scent of the lavender bubble bath wafted through the air, as dozens of little candles glistened around her old clawfoot tub, washing the room in a mystical glow.

“Trystan,” she smiled. “What did you do!”

“I can’t expect you to convalesce in an unsuitable environment.”

“You spoil me,” she sighed.

“And you better get used to it.”

Trystan helped her out of her clothes, becoming more transfixed with each new item that fell to the floor. Carolina was stunning, and he always found her irresistible; but the combination of candlelight and moonlight pouring in the window reflecting on her skin, their shadows accentuating every delicate curve on her body, it left him breathless.

But that’s not what tonight was about, and when he felt his body begin to stir, he deliberately turned away. Relieved when she slipped into the warm water. With her exquisite figure concealed under a plethora of bubbles, his primal urges began to dissipate.

“Ahhhh,” she breathed, as her tension drifted away. “This is just perfect.”

Trystan placed a small table with strawberry-infused water within her reach, then kneeled beside the tub, gently bopping her nose with a bubble-strewn finger.

 “You’re perfect.”

But Carolina's mood visibly shifted when he stood up and asked if she needed anything before he left.

“Leaving? Why are you leaving?” She tapped the water gently with an open hand. “There is plenty of room in here; I was hoping you’d join me.”

“But I want you to relax; you took quite a fall today.”

“Trystan,” she said with an arched brow. “You took the same fall! Now, get in here with me. That’s an order.”

“Well, if it’s an order...” he smirked.

Quickly removing his clothes, he slid into the tub across from his love, letting out a deep sigh the moment his body was submerged. With his arms stretched over the tub's sides and his legs rubbing against Carolina’s silky skin he wondered why this hadn't been his plan all along.

“This is divine,” he swooned.

“I told you! No way was I going to let you miss out on this.”

“And for that, I thank you!”

They closed their eyes, reclining in the soothing waters for a long while; but when Trystan opened his eyes again, he found Carolina’s sultry brown eyes peering at him, a playful grin on her face. 

“Yessss?” He droned.

“Do you have any idea how sexy you are in this lighting?”

“In this lighting?" He said, feigning insult. "I thought I looked sexy in all lighting!"

Carolina barked out a laugh. “That goes without saying, of course! But in this lighting... you’re especially desirable.”

Carolina was stunned; perhaps the candlelight was impeding her vision, but she swore she saw Trystan Thorne blush.

“You’re one to talk,” he whispered. “You’re simply ravishing.”

The lapping water made delicate sounds as Carolina pushed herself up and moved closer to Trystan. This allowed him a quick peek at her luscious curves before he felt them pressed firmly against his chest.

“Then, why aren’t you ravishing me," she purred in his ear.

Trystan thought he might melt into the water. “Lina,” he moaned. “What are you doing to me?”

Her pride morphed into a smile as she dragged her hand up his thigh, then slowly, excruciatingly slowly, skimmed her fingers along his hardened length.

“I haven’t done anything yet,” she teased. “But that’s about to change.”

He let out a muffled growl when her arms wrapped around him, stoking her desire even more.

“Lina, you’re hurt," he said, offering one last out.

“I’m fine!"

“I want you to feel better!”

She pushed back with seductive eyes, just begging to be taken.

“If you want me to feel better... I can offer some suggestions on how you can do that.”

His erection pulsated against her thigh, and she silently lauded herself for her restraint at that moment.

“Are you sure?” he whispered as her hands sunk under the water grasping him at his base, pleasuring him with slow, deliberate strokes until he quivered beneath her.

“100% sure,” she hissed, parting his lips with her tongue, entangling it with his for a long, sensual kiss.

The grin on his face couldn’t have been wider when they parted. “If you keep doing this, I'll see to it that we fall through ceilings together every day."

Carolina straddled him, placing him at her center before holding him tight. Unbridled shrieks of pleasure filled the air as she slowly sank down on him. He reached up and cupped her breasts just as he filled her completely. She closed her eyes, remaining still for just a moment to savor the feeling, and then, with a wicked grin she began to grind shamelessly against him.

If either had a worry about the water that splashed onto the floor, they certainly didn't show it as they brought each other to the precipice of pleasure again, and again until they unraveled in each other's arms.

“I don’t know what doctor recommended this treatment plan,” Trystan said trying to catch his breath. “But I really need to thank them.”

"What, this is how I fix boo-boos?" Carolina smiled.

"Then, I need to thank you."

Shortly after, the couple curled up in bed... completely in need of painkillers to soothe their aching muscles. But the blissful smiles on their faces as they drifted off to sleep made it very, very clear... sore muscles be damned, it had all been worth it.

@choicesficwriterscreations

[moonchild033]

Mediocre or Way too good Vedic Chart? Which is better to have? 🤫❤

This is my share of personal belief and placements, this is not any observation post, so if you don't wanna read, feel free to skip 💌

Are you one of the people who feel bad about not having any exalted or so-called 'auspicious ' placements? Then this can provide some insight and support to you based on what I think.✨

I have a pretty good chart (not bragging, read the full post to know my opinion). I would say having so many good placements in your chart without much contradictory aspects or placements, is worse than having a mediocre chart.😶

If you have an amazing chart, it makes you lazy, makes you feel ✨ I AM DESTINED TO HAVE EVERYTHING ✨. But what does it get you? Absolutely nothing. You should have some contradicting placements to fuel the passion inside you, to fight against the odds, to have the motivation to work for your dreams.❤

You can achieve great things by hardwork, regardless of how lucky, supportive or not your chart placements are BUT you can't achieve anything without trying for it even when you sit on your ass with a chart of exalted placements.😌

Having many easy aspects and exalted placements are that much of a curse than a boon. It's like that saying in our place, 'Anything too much is toxic'. This is a sign to embrace your hard aspects and mediocre chart, be grateful of the fighting nature you got no matter what life throws at you, this will get you to great lengths in life eventually. 🤫

If you are someone who has the so-called way too good chart like me, please wake up to reality, don't let your talents go to waste. It is such a waste if you are blessed but you decide to sit on your ass and throw away opportunities that come to your side. This is your sign to NOT rely on your luck and destiny anymore without working for it, everything has a price in this world and we've to work for it. Just remember there are many people who have to put in 2x hardwork to achieve the same as you, it's so wrong and disrespectful to waste god given luck and talents, if something comes easy to you, don't procrastinate and ignore that, push harder and reach more heights. 😌❤

As for my friends who have more hard aspects or placements, YOU ARE A FIGHTER and you will definitely achieve your dreams eventually through your own determination & hardwork. I believe in you and I want you to believe in yourself too. If something doesn't come easy to you, if you feel like you've to put in too much work than your peers to achieve the same, let it be, you're gonna be more experienced and skilled ✨gradually✨.

With Love- Yashi ❤⚡

Masterlist 💖

[batlleonafc]

She’s a scab. She only cares about herself and what she can personally gain. She let her “friends” take the fall more than once now so she could get a world cup and continue to push that she’s the best player in the world when in reality she played like absolute dog shit and really that second ballon dor shouldn’t have gone to her in the 1st place. She’s just trying to stay relevant sorry that I’m giving you guys the truth 🤷‍♀️

Welcome to @handmeascalpel's ted talk, I'm your host @batlleonafc buckle up and enjoy the ride

Hello, anon. I've read everything you've mentioned. Do you have any evidence to support your claims? Considering that I'm reading this now, you don't. So, let me present the evidence I have. If you understand after this, great. If not, I can't stop people from forming their own opinions.

Exhibit A:

You said, "she only cares about herself and what she can personally gain."

On September 1, 2022, Alexia tweeted in support of Irene Paredes when the RFEF essentially blamed her for the players' opposition to the federation. Alexia was injured at the time and wasn't even in camp or eligible for a call-up. She was the first to tweet, sparking the revolution against the RFEF.

Ironically, on September 23 of the same year, exactly one year ago, Alexia was the first to post the Las15 statement, stating that the players wanted a "firm commitment for a professional project" and expressing their unhappiness that private conversations with the federation were leaked.

Exhibit B:

You said, "she let her friends take the fall more than once so she could get a World Cup."

As I mentioned earlier, Alexia was injured and therefore ineligible for a call-up. So her statement and email were never considered valid.

Every statement has always been posted by her first because she has a large following. She has consistently spoken out loudly and clearly about the problems. She never let friends take any fall. More proof is attached below.

She went to the World Cup because she was fit and couldn't escape sanctions, in case you forgot about them. I'd like you to tell me how many players who came back from an ACL injury immediately played well, or maybe just give me some names.

#seacabo was started by Alexia, and she took the lead for everything. It's not hard to find this evidence. Regardless of what people like you want to say about her, both on and off the pitch, you can see what kind of person she is.

Exhibit C:

You say, "that second Ballon d'Or shouldn't have gone to her in the first place."

Who do you think should have won it then? I'd be happy to hear your answer.

But since you brought up the Ballon d'Or, let me share a few things:

Official stats from the 2021/22 season:

La Liga Femenina:

- 26 games played.

- 18 goals scored.

- 16 assists.

Copa de la Reina:

- 4 games played.

- 4 goals scored.

- 1 assist.

Supercopa de España:

- 2 games played.

- 1 goal scored.

- 1 assist.

UEFA Women's Champions League (UWCL):

- 10 games played.

- 11 goals scored.

- 3 assists.

Regarding the Ballon d'Or voting, she only missed out on 29 days, equivalent to one tournament (the Euros). Nobody came close to her stats, and she's a midfielder. These stats are only for her club. Her national team stats are just as impressive, as she has been crucial in every single match, not just easy ones. She essentially surpassed her own record from the previous season when she won the Ballon d'Or. In short, she deserved it.

There's more to a player than just stats, especially for defenders. But the stats Alexia has as a midfielder are outstanding.

Exhibit D:

Finally, you said, "she's just trying to stay relevant." Sorry to say, but she doesn't have to say anything to stay relevant.

She uses her influential platform to talk about what's true and important, unlike many players. Ramona Bachmann is a good example, and even Athenea, for that matter.

I hope you've learned something today, anon. If not, good luck with your opinion of Alexia. You might just look foolish for hating on her.

Thank you for listening to @handmeascalpel's ted talk I hope you learned something today!

[pluckyredhead]

loved reading ur tom king tea so how abt ☕️ tom taylor

I think this post I reblogged a little while back said it really well, especially "He writes comics to go viral on Twitter."

My main problem with Taylor is that his writing is fluff with absolutely zero substance, and I feel like this has two major consequences. First, there's this weird disconnect between stakes, competence, and victory. All of his heroes are wildly incompetent, so he sets up these huge stakes and then has them resolved by other people, or dumb luck, or just...pretending the stakes don't exist? So now not only are the heroes incompetent, the story is unsatisfying because the victory doesn't feel earned - because his goal is a cutesy viral moment that gets passed around the internet out of context, not satisfying storytelling.

For a small example of this, there's that scene where Clark needs Bruce and Dick to help him find Jon, who is learning how to fly. I repeat: Clark, who has super speed, flight, X-ray and telescopic vision, AND CAN HEAR HIS LOVED ONES' HEARTBEATS, needs two regular fucking guys to somehow detective out the location of his own child. Clark is nerfed just to get a cute moment of Dick giving Jon a lollipop - and Taylor absolutely got what he wanted out of that, because those pages did go viral, no matter how little sense they made.

For a bigger example, there's the climax of the Blockbuster storyline in Nightwing, where Blockbuster discovers Dick's identity and Dick realizes that his entire life is about to be destroyed...and then someone else kills Blockbuster and solves Dick's problem for him, and he literally never thinks about it again. This is our hero triumphant? This is NOTHING! I literally stared at that comic with my mouth open. For real? For real for real???

You see this over and over again. In the most recent issue of Titans, it's revealed that Dick basically hypnotized himself into having a secret part of his brain he can only access via a code word because somehow that prevents Raven (a telepath) from reading his mind (why? UNCLEAR). He is explicitly inspired by what Bruce did with his Zur-en-Arrh personality. You know, the one who has been the main villain in Batman for over a year? Who has taken over Gotham and driven Bruce into hiding? Who will be a key factor in the upcoming Absolute Power event? That guy?

But it's okay that Dick did the exact same wildly unsafe thing, because Dick says in the comic "this will be fine" so it'll be fine. Why? He said so! It'll be fine!

Obviously most of the time superheroes do defeat the bad guy and it is fine (and even when it isn't, they come back to life), but in order for a story to have impact, we have to believe in the stakes. The hero needs to make an effort. There need to be consequences. Taylor's writing is devoid of all of that. When he gets to issue #6 of a given storyline, everything is just magically resolved. It makes his characters feel shallow and incompetent, and his stories feel meaningless.

More importantly, his politics are as shallow as his plotting. He injects liberal themes into his writing, but things are just magically resolved, and no one ever has to make a hard choice. Jon Kent occasionally scolds a mean person and then flies off to hold hands with his cardboard cutout of a boyfriend, and Taylor pats himself on the back for being History's Greatest Ally.

Meanwhile, he does absolutely nothing to support real people with marginalized identities. When Chuck Dixon when on a twitter spree sharing a homophobic photoshopped panel of Dick and Jon, Taylor was like "Oh that's actually photoshopped, but I love your work!" and then spent several tweets kissing Dixon's ass. Sucking up to a homophobe was more important to him than actually standing up for queer people, or even just...not saying anything. (Not saying anything is free!)

Now don't get me wrong, Taylor's mentions are deranged and people need to leave him alone about Babs not being in a wheelchair because it's obviously not up to him. But the way he acts like he is the world's greatest martyr to The Cause because of his milquetoast comics when over and over again he fails to support real, living people drives me nuts. (There are other examples, but I don't have the strength to unpack the Ed Piskor stuff right now.)

In conclusion: his writing is shallow, his politics are shallow, and I'm tired.

[melanieryssel]

How Genshin's Characters would react to seeing your build

Character: Scaramouche/Wanderer, Albedo, Bennett, Heizou

A/n: Hello it's been a while, hope everyone is doing well. I'm really happy to see likes and reblogs on my last posts, it means a lot to me ❤️ My life is getting a bit overwhelming so It's harder to write anything recently. But writing about fictional characters like this brings comfort to me. Hope you enjoy this story.

Scaramouche/Wanderer

The last thing you have ever wanted to happen if you somehow, one day meet your favorite Genshin's character is for them to find out your build on them. It will be even worse if it's Scaramouche.

If you have a good build on him, a nice ratio, constellations, or his signature weapon, Scaramouche might appear fairly pleased. He will act unimpressed anyway. However, if Scaramouche is the only character or one of the few characters you had seriously invested in, he would definitely show off to other characters how obsessed you are with him.

Don't worry if you are a f2p player (just like me) because Scaramouche won't judge you, except when you have a bad build on him. Even though it's probably not your fault that Rukkhashava Mushroom is the worst to collect or your bad luck on artifacts, he will mock at you. As rude and mean as Scaramouche is, he won't let this slide. But he is also a cutie who has no idea how to comfort or encourage people, he will use his way to help you build him again.

Just in case you have c2 Raiden or a godly build on her, please try your best to hide it from him if you don't want this to become the fourth betrayal.

Heizou

After seeing all the five stars artifacts and best weapons on his build, the detective is just too stunned to speak. Although he would hardly say anything emotional to you, but deep down, he would feel sensational and grateful for how you did your best for him.

If you have an unfinished build on him because of those damn Onikabuto, he will give you a look of surprise and say something like "Onikabuto is everywhere in Inazuma Y/n". He just doesn't get it but he will help you at the end with his detective skills. He will charge you some mora thou.

If you have a godly build on him, Heizou will secretly admire how talent and hard-working you are. You might try to tell him that the only reason why you can build him so well is that he is already a strong character in the first place, but Heizou won't believe it since he's only a detective in lore. You suggest that the best way to prove it is to do a showcase and he reluctantly agrees with you. So you call Mona, Bennet, and other support characters to come to help you.

Heizou still happily does showcase with you, but little did he know, he'd better crit or he will have to do this a bunch of times.

Albedo

As gentlemanly as he is, Albedo would never judge you, especially when he understands all the uphill struggles you have to face if you want to build him well.

Albedo would not hesitate to shower you with compliments if you have a good build for him no matter which build it is (support, dps, sup-dps, or even a healer). He would likely praise you for the smallest thing, a max-level talent, a great piece of artifact, a high-level weapon, or a good team composition. In Albedo's eyes, you are nothing different from a real scientist or a researcher because of the way you calculated to balance all his statistics. Just tell him your difficulties, and Albedo will sit down and seriously discuss it with you.

If your build is unfinished or you don't have a good artifact set yet, he will help you in the domain. Albedo would try to calculate the artifact drop rate or even the weapon banners' rate to help your bad luck.

Bennett

Bennett will be in disbelief when he realizes he is in most of your team compositions, especially damage showcase teams. "Y-you want me in your team?" He says.

He would likely to get extremely emotional if you give him 4 pieces of Nobeless Oblige artifact. He might feel he doesn't deserve all those five stars artifacts and weapons, or worry his bad luck will affect your team, but you are quick to reassure Bennett. You claim that Bennett is the character that actually carried you when you were still a newbie to this game and how Bennett keeps your team surviving in the Abyss.

He would not mind if you merely build him with four stars artifacts or a low-level weapon. If you ask for his help, he will be even more than willing to be your companion. Although it could be a pretty tough journey since you guys both have bad lucks.

[tumblingxelian]

Political Discourse - Retrospective

So, regarding some political discourse that happened on my blog earlier, I want to clarify some things.

1: Hyperbole doesn't translate well across text, this applies both to me and those I've spoken/argued with. Hyperbole doesn't translate well when one can't see the associated dramatic body language or tone that would serve to convey that.

2: Context is key, so if one does want to take issue with something its best to have all the pieces in place rather than expecting context clues to create a common frame of reference as it might in a verbal conversation.

3: Its much easier to just not bother and direct one's energy into more helpful and practical goals than arguing online.

On the more political front, I do have some thoughts however:

I am posting this in a good faith effort to not argue or antagonize:

Firstly, I feel that for all Americas horrifically out-sized influence on the world one cannot just dismiss domestic issues as unimportant. Even if we ignore the ripple effects of a right wing VS left wing president on a purely cultural level, the sheer number of queer people, women, and people of color who will be actively targeted if Trump gets back into power is staggering.

There is a marked difference between the parties on these fronts and people will live or die based on that. Let alone stuff like Trumps handling of Covid and how his intransigence basically fucked the rest of the world over, along with killing millions of Americans.

Basically, when the difference between the the parties of the most powerful nation on earth are so drastically different in terms of who even counts as human, being a one issue voter doesn’t really work as an ethical or even practical approach to politics —especially not addressing the kinds of issues making it hard to stomach voting for someone like Biden.

Secondly, I feel a lot of the discourse around the US & Israel's ties are not very helpful or accurate as they often seem to frame it as though they just became allies under Biden or otherwise that this is a new relationship. As it is, ties between the two countries are nearly a century old at this stage and disentangling from that is not easy.

What's more, a politically active American friend said that they feel a lot of Americans, themselves included, often oversimplify foreign policy and that it's never as simple as a good or bad decision.

In this case, America's main focus is trying to keep the war from going regional while not losing what influence they have over a nuclear equipped state in the Middle East.

(It was also notes how the messages of trying to "fight antisemitism" as opposed to just being blunt about the political realities was manipulative and poorly thought out at best.)

But the fact is, as horrific as what Israel is doing is, it's not something Biden just started supporting at random. America's ties are decades long and not easy to divest from without creating more instability and bloodshed in the long run.

So while I of course advocate for pushing for action on these fronts, its integral to both remember that foreign policy is a nightmare and that one will have far better luck using protest to force a Democratic president to change course than a GOP one who will just tell the police to shoot you.

Thirdly, I think its quite reasonable for none Americans to take an interest in these matters. Hell, I have been an activist for years, donating and campaigning on everything from America's forever war, to Palestinian rights, Queer rights both locally and internationally and beyond since childhood.

Add in that, even aside from morality, I've no shortage of friends in other nations who will be impacted by who is president and friends in America who are justly terrified of dying or having to flee the country should Trump get back in.

Put simply, I feel my and other none Americans persistent presence on the matter of who ends up in the White House can be regarded as selfish or coming from a place of privilege. We're asking you to vote because we can't and far more people will die and be hurt if Trump is in power, including yourselves.

We're trying to help.

Finally, I will not see eye to eye with other leftists, they will not see eye to eye with me. That's fine. Ultimately, though we disagree on how best energy should be directed for the common good, I don't think my counterparts, or I have ill intent or selfish motivations.

[seijorhi]

Hey Rhi! Hope you’ve been well!

I recently binged through all your Tokyo Rev fics and it made me think of something. I really love the concept of Tailspin with Chifuyu being the one to remember the past timeline. The simultaneous regret of how they treated reader being balanced with this uncontrollable desire to be with her again was so great and really fascinating to me.

It made me think, what do you think Mikey would do in a post-bonten/sink to the depths timeline where those events never happened, but he’s still able to remember them in the new timeline? On one hand, he was in love with reader, but how she was treated by him and bonten was a complete nightmare for her. I guess it depends on which timeline, but do you think that would make him hesitate from trying to find reader in this new timeline (to prevent her from being dragged into his mess of a life) or would he not be able to resist finding her anyway?

hi nonnie first of all ily <33

so if chifuyu's fucked up about it, mikey.... oof. man's got trauma big time.

doesn't help matters that when he was on the brink of complete self destruction the reader became his emotional support pussy person.

on the one hand, of course she's better off far, far away from him and sanzu and kakucho – all of them. it was an obsession, fucked up and depraved and sickening and damn it all to hell if does he wish he could feel that disgust all the time.

it'd be easier that way, to focus the hate inwards and pretend that's all it was. that there aren't nights he doesn't like awake and fucking miss her like a part of him's been ripped away. that his cock doesn't stir at the filthy dreams – memories – that won't leave his head.

on the really bad days, it's like an ache. an itch. incessant. he misses her.

he'd taint her all over again.

so he should leave her alone. stay as far away as humanly possible.

there's a problem, though. two, if he's being completely honest with himself. the first is that along with their whole sordid relationship, he remembers how the reader managed to end up in bonten's clutches in the first place. bonten doesn't exist anymore, obviously, but just because he and his friends aren't running around as gangsters anymore doesn't mean bad men, bad luck and bad circumstance have ceased to exist.

her brother's probably still a bottom feeding piece of shit with a gambling problem. there's every chance he's gonna do something just as stupid this time, and she'll inevitably be the one to pay for it. glass stones and houses and all that bullshit, he doesn't like it. no one's allowed to touch her. no one but him.

the other problem, the one he's less eager to admit to himself, is that he wasn't the only one fucked up over her. the haitani's might not look twice (he thinks. hopes, maybe), and who knows with sanzu, but kakucho? koko? they might not remember any of it, but if they walked past her in the street, bumped into her at a bar, would they feel that pull in their gut? would it spark something?

mikey hates the thought of her in danger, being mistreated – by her brother or by anyone else, but there's a sick, possessive part of him that hates the thought of any of them taking her too.

she was his first.

but even if he shoved that all aside, buried his head in the sand and pretended he wasn't slowly being driven out of his mind by her, the universe is a funny thing. one way or another, it'll work its magic and shove her right back into his path.

some things are just... fated.

[redgoldsparks]

February Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.

Ruthless Vows by Rebecca Ross read by Alex Wingfield and Rebecca Norfolk

This book started a little slowly for me, as I waited for Roman to regain his memories and for Iris to get back to reporting at the front. Luckily, the magical typewriters once again play a major role in this story as they did in the first one; Roman and Iris's letters are the emotional heart of this series. I also love how it fore fronts the importance of journalists during wartime. Iris's bravery and constant willingness to move towards danger and the unknown in service of sharing the truth makes her a very compelling character. Unfortunately, the magical divine conflict behind the war just didn't compel me very strongly in this book. I think the gods were introduced too slowly into the narrative, and that a lack of a human motivation behind the war simplified the conflict in a way that sucked some of the tension from the text. If you are looking for a solid romance with a strong epistolary element and the aesthetic of wartime setting, this series delivers; if instead you want a complicated, devastating, deeply emotional story of young people surviving a real historical war, pick up Code Name Verity or Rose Under Fire.

Mamo by Sas Milledge

Jo has lived in her small seaside hometown her whole life, and loves it there. But then things start to go wrong- curses, bad luck, mysterious illnesses. She seeks out the town witch and finds a teen girl about her own age, named Orla, who Jo has never met before. It turns out Orla has just returned to town after the death of her grandmother, the previous witch. She wasn't buried properly and her bones are scattered around the town, stirring up bad energy, disturbing the local fae and trolls. Jo and Orla set out of lay the old witch properly to rest, but there's more going on than either of them realize. This is a fairly short but well told tale, queer and magical, and with a little bittersweet edge.

Look on the Bright Side by Lily Williams and Karen Schneemann 

This is a very charming follow up to Go With The Flow, taking place over the friend group's following high school year. Brit, who was diagnosed with endometriosis at the end of the previous book, had a surgery to remove it over the summer. When she goes back to school, she finds her affection caught between two different boys. Christine has finally admitted to herself that she likes Abby as more than a friend... but telling Abby that is another matter. Abby is still working on her campaign of menstrual justice on campus, while Sasha struggles to balance her homework, sports, and time with her boyfriend. The girls learn, grow, make mistakes, and support each other.

Gathering Moss written and read by Robin Wall Kimmerer

It took me a little longer to get into this one than Braiding Sweetgrass, mainly because I had much less personal knowledge of mosses than the larger types of plants which Kimmerer wrote about in Sweetgrass. It doesn't help that mosses do not have common names, so are referred to mainly by scientific names, and I was rarely able to picture them well in my head. However, by about a third of the way through I had fallen into the miniature world of mosses and the striking and insightful ways Kimmerer links them to all other organisms in their ecosystems. I loved learning how mosses, like tardigrades, with which they probably co-evolved, can survive desiccation and be revived by water even after all seeming signs of life have disappeared. I was intrigued by the story of a moss species which changes its gender over its lifespan, starting out producing only female reproductive stalks in its early days, shifting producing a mix of male and female stalks as it matures, and then producing solely male stalks as the patch reaches peak density. I was frustrated by stories of the illegal moss harvesting which is stripping Oregon rain forests bare. And I was once again completely charmed by the beauty and generosity of Kimmerer's writing and worldview. She's a bestseller for a reason; I highly recommend everyone pick up at least one of her books at some point.

The High Desert by James Spooner 

James' white mother and his black father divorced when he was in elementary school, and he moved around a lot. For high school, he moved with his mom to Apple Valley, a barren small town in the desert an hour inland from Los Angeles. Already a skater, James encountered punk music just went he needed it most: as an isolated and angry teen in a racist town with little to no underground scene or counterculture. The music, and later, the politics, of punk raised James in the semi-absence of parents and role models. This memoir, chronically roughly a year, is an unflinchingly honest look at the cruelty, creativity, friendship, and solidarity of teens. It has the density and scratchy texture of a 90s zine without ever sacrificing clarity. I was very impressed by how clearly and in what detail Spooner was able to recreate his high school angst and activist awaking in this coming of age tale. Punk wasn't the music that found me, but I still remember the high of finding a new favorite band or song that felt as if it spoke right to my teen soul. This book is a testament to the power of music to reach into the dark and pull someone out into the light.

Falling Back in Love With Being Human written and read by Kai Cheng Thom 

Short and sweet, this book is half confession, half spell book. Each chapter is written as a letter- to trans women, to activists, to sex workers, to johns, to those contemplating suicide, to TERFs, to children's book writers- each followed with a little action or ritual. I listened to it as an audiobook and loved hearing the letters in the author's voice, but I can also see how reading it in print and lingering over each letter one at a time would be wonderful too.

The Great Beyond by Lea Murawiec translated by Aleshia Jensen 

Manel Naher is an anti-social and idiosyncratic young woman living an endless city in which everyone advertises their own names on street signs, sandwich boards, at social events, on business cards, and by simply shouting them at strangers. This may not sound so different from our own world except that it's driven by an even more intense desperation: if one's name is not known, and one's presence fades fully from people's minds, and the forgotten person will literally die. Manel wants nothing more than to escape the city into the wilds beyond it, but her presence is so low she suffers a near fatal heart attack and is scared into a fearful scramble to gain enough fame to live. Her attempts to claw her way into people's memories is surprisingly successful, and in the process of becoming one of the 1% she leaves behind everything and everyone she loved. Never before have I read a comic that felt so much like literary spec-fic. The concepts are fascinating and the cartooning knocked me off my feet. A visual masterpiece I'll be thinking about for a long time to come.

The Spectred Isle by KJ Charles read by Ruairi Carter

Saul Lazenby is a disgraced archeologist who served time for a war crime during the recent WWI. Back in England, disowned by his family, he struggled to support himself. The only job he is able to secure is as a personal assistant to a batty old major who believes in fairy stories and keeps sending Saul off to various parts of London to investigate supposedly occult sites. Saul knows it's all fake but he keeps investigating anyway... and then a tree bursts in flames in front of him. And a mysterious gentleman keeps showing up at the same sites of sacred groves or ancient wells which Saul's been sent to look at. That gentleman is Richard Glide, who just happens to be the heir to one of the oldest arcane families in England. And he can't tell if Saul is causing the spiritual problems that keep occurring around him or if it's all an unlikely coincidence. This historical romance is a fun and quick read, shorter than most of the KJ Charles books I've read before. Be warned, the end sets up a sequel which has not, and may not, ever actually come out- but I still enjoyed this one on it's own.

Red at the Bone by Jacqueline Woodson 

A gorgeous, nonlinear novel about three generations of a Black family living in New York between roughly the early 1990s to the mid 2000s. The chapters rotate between multiple POVs, covering moments of change, tension, or reflection for the family. The opening scene is the evening of a debut party for sixteen year old Melody, who wears the dress her own mother was supposed to wear at her debut... except that she was already pregnant. From that moment, the narrative spins back time to how each character arrived there: Iris, a teen who refused to give up her baby but also refused to settle into motherhood; Aubrey, a young man in love with a girl who was already leaving him; Iris's mother Sabe, a daughter of a survivor of the Tulsa massacre, a women who stores her money in gold bars hidden around the house; Iris's father Po'boy, who as a young man ran races, and as an old man holds more love for his family that his body can carry. The character work here is so strong- I was immediately swept away into the cares, worries, secrets, and longings of the family. I read the whole book in one day, but I'll be thinking about it for a long time.

We Are The Land: A Native History of California by Damon B Akins and William J Bauer Jr 

It took me a long time to read this book, as it was challenging to read a history of genocide while also seeing genocide in my phone every single day. But I'm ultimately very glad that I finished it. This is a well researched, approachable, indigenous-authored history of the native people in the land now called California. I enjoyed how place specific this book is. I felt much more connected to the history recognizing nearly every place name, and once the book got passed around the year 1900 I started to also recognize names of organizations that still exist and activists who I'm familiar with. I have a much better understanding of the patchwork creation of and the broken promises of the reservations, land allotments, and rancherias. I was happy whenever the book mentioned Pomo master basket weavers Elsie Allen and Mable McKay, who my mom has been telling me about for years, or Greg Sarris, Santa Rosa based chairman of the Graton Rancheria and author. I have a better understanding of this land where I have lived and worked all my life after reading this book.

Zodiac: A Graphic Novel by Ai Weiwei, Elettra Stamboulis and Gianluca Costantini

I've been following Ai Weiwei's work since about 2010, and was absolutely delighted to learn he was releasing a comic memoir. I managed to snag a signed copy though the Comix Experience Graphic Novel of the Month Club and I will treasure it. This book is organized into 12 chapters, each themed around one animal from the zodiac. It weaves together slice of life moments from Ai Weiwei's day to day life, stories of his father (the revolutionary poet Ai Qing), memories of Ai's time as an art student in New York, his incarceration, time spent with his mother, his partner, and his son, conversations with artist friends and some of his international exhibitions. It is not a tight narrative; it wanders, it indulges in myths and fairy tales, it is open ended and I enjoyed it so much. It was written along with Elettra Stamboulis, and draw in a delicate lose line art style by Gianluca Costantini. A few of the lines from the end of the book haven't left my head since I read them: "Freedom of speech and human rights are not given to anybody for free. They always come through fighting and struggle" (101); "Any artist who isn't an activist is a dead artist" (165) and "... the purpose of art, which is to fight for freedom."(166)

Witchy Vol 2 by Ariel Salmat Ries 

This volume was just as beautifully drawn as book 1; the cartooning is masterful, but I don't have a very good sense of where the larger plot is going. This book was mostly a long side quest in which Nyneve learned how to make a broom under an exiled gay broom making master. I enjoyed this! However it didn't particularly seem to move the story forward. I will keep reading, but the sense of drama and urgency from the beginning of the first book is slightly missing here.

No Gods, No Monsters by Cadwell Turnbull read by Dion Graham  

What a ride! I went into this book knowing almost nothing, and I think that was the right way to go so I shall not summarize the plot. This is the first book of a series; it's ambitious, it's weird, it's got a very large and extremely diverse cast; it is such a fresh and original take on a contemporary sci-fi in which the world realizes that monsters, gods, and magic have existed all along. I worried a little in the first third that the book maybe had too many POV characters, most of whom seemed very unconnected from each other except by geographical proximity to either Cambridge, Mass, or the island of St Thomas. However by the end almost all of the characters had been at least tenuously linked by plot events in a way that really worked for me. The book also has trans, nonbinary, asexual, queer, and poly characters whose identities are only revealed slowly, and usually after you've known the character for a while. I am very impressed by the scope of this story and definitely plan to continue with the series.

Arrive In My Hands by Trinidad Escobar 

Sensual, at times tender, at times haunting, this beautiful little book is a collection of lesbian erotic comics from a poet artist at the top of her field. I am definitely biased, having been friends with the author for years, but I also deeply admire this work. The women, witches, and creatures in these stories yearn for pleasure and for freedom; they chase both through oceans, forests, broken suburban towns, and through dreams. The book is perfectly sized to hold close to your heart.

Bird by Bird by Annie Lamott read by Susan Bennett

I've been hearing about this book for years as a writing guide, but it is almost equally a memoir or collection of anecdotes about the writing life. Parts of it worked for me and other parts didn't. The author has a very different type of brain than I have, and the chapters on working through the anxiety, neurosis, and depression she suffered from when trying to write didn't really speak to me at all. I also did not enjoy the handful of flippant jokes about killing yourself when the writing isn't going well. However. There are also some genuinely really moving pieces about writing books as gifts to loved ones, especially loved ones who are soon to leave us. I thought a lot of the advice in the middle about focusing on details, on recording memories, on research, and on character development was really solid, and I want to keep some of it in mind when I start developing my next book. There was also a set of lines in the introduction, about how writers are able to participate in public life while also working from home and without leaving the house which hit the nail on the head of why I entered this career!

Recitatif by Toni Morrison read by Bahni Turpin with an intro written and read by Zadie Smith

I've been wanting to try another Toni Morrison, since the only one I had previously read in high school went completely over my head at age 15. Recitatif is Morrison's only short story, and this audiobook version is read by the wonderful Bahni Turpin (who you might recognize from Angie Thomas or Akwaeke Emezi's audiobooks). Also included in an excellent essay written and read by Zadie Smith. This comes first in the audio, but if you are new to the story as I was, skip the essay and listen to the story first! Then go back and listen to the essay afterwards. This way the cleverness and impact of the story can hit you fully. It is so smart, so well crafted, and such a master class in writing that both reveals and conceals so much about the complicated relationship of two damaged women.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 1 by Ryoko Kui 

I can immediately see why so many people are charmed by this world and these characters! This is the start of a really fun D&D infused adventure story, with a small group of down on their luck adventures deciding to cut their adventuring costs by eating the monsters they kill in the dungeon. The man behind this idea, Laos, is also searching for a missing sister who may or may not have already been eaten by a dragon. I already have books 2 and 3 on hold; I haven't been so captured by a manga series since starting Witch Hat Atelier.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 2 by Ryoko Kui

I devoured this book as quickly as book one. Our adventure party gets a bit deeper into the dungeon and begin to have more meaningful interactions with the beings who dwell there, including an Orc family just trying to get by, golems which grow vegetables on their backs, and living paintings which might reveal more of the buried castle's history.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 3 by Ryoko Kui

A flashback reveals more of the school friendship of Marcelle and Falin; a deep underground lake leads to many encounters with watery monsters of various types. I continue to have a very fun time with this series!

Bunt by Ngozi Ukazu and Mad Rupert

Molly grew up in Peachtree, Georgia, in her lesbian moms' hardware store, in the shadow of the town's prestigious and expensive art college, PICA. Every since she can remember, she's wanted to attend PICA- despite the fact that her best friend dropped out last year and says the school chews people up and spits them out. But Molly got a full ride scholarship, so her first semester should be a breeze, right? No! Because when she shows up to orientation, no one can find her scholarship or even her registration. It turns Molly will have to pay for her first year after all; she takes out some dodgy loans and scours the financial aid booklets for any other scholarship she can apply for. It turns out, if she can scrape up a full team of softball players... and they compete against other college teams in the same division... and they win at least one game over the course of the semester... the whole team gets a free tuition! Is it possible to win one game with a bunch of big-ego, burned-out, athletically-challenged artists? I loved the energy of this story, with many well-informed digs at art school culture and hypocrisy. The team has great chemistry and the art style is full of action, physical humor, and delightfully expressive cartooning.

[not-goldy]

Not your followers thinking Jimin doesn't need to be big star also. Are they even sane ??? EACH AND EVERY MEMBER IN BTS IS AMBITIOUS AF, ESPECIALLY JM. But unlike JK, JM is not airhead to keep on saying he want to be next big thing, want to be seen as this het fuckboy who only sings about sex to be seen as mature, want to be one and only kpop star to do so bla bla bla all while not lifting a pen to write songs, won't have streams and sales without a 938397328 versions and all that mediaplay from company. Or atleast the bare minimum hold a mic properly and talk/sing without fidgeting and embarrassing yourself. How you gonna dominate western market without even communication skills lmao.. those times when he used to stand in shade of RM is gone lol. Jk's big project DREAMERS debuted under bubbling 100 while JM gave that YG company their 1st hot 100 entry by a collab. So saying JK is this and that while we are not seeing results organically is dumb af. Golden maknae because he sing and dance some white man's songs which company already bought success for ? Oh there's 100 other artists who sings and dance way better than him. He can't hold 5 mins on stage if he's doing a dance battle with Jimin lol.

What company doing to members IS INJUSTICE AF.. especially Jimin who fucking proved he can also be the 'next big thing'. But they conveniently sweep him under rug so his shine won't affect their industry plant launch. Or why can't they support him too ???? Is it that difficult ? JK didn't do a shit and got everything. I BET HE WONT DEBUT NO.1 FOR SEVEN NOR GET ALL THOSE RECORDS IF IT WAS NOT THE PUSH FROM SCOOTS. BE FR. Go and check his BB points to see how payola impacted his chart. It would've been a -48 like 3D on second week too. While what we asked for Jimin was the deserved support in 2nd week for a song which fucking went no.1 with fans support and artist impact alone. It's NOT secretly wishing JK's treatment for JM, but asking what he fucking deserves. Literally any company will give the extra promos for his in 2nd week but not hybe who's on a mission to sell themselves to somehow establish JK in west 😬

And don't say JM will chose me over JK. Did I said I want JM to chose me ????? THIS IS HIS CAREER HE WORKED HARD FOR NOT A FUCKASS RELATIONSHIP. Even if you look at their relationship also, it's the same lol. JM keep on giving and giving him his everything while JK sit back and enjoy Jimin while not even bothering to post a simple bday wish or go and meet him even after him begging a 100 times.

YOU CANT CALL OTHERS JK ANTIS BECAUSE THEY SEE TRUTH AND SAY IT OUT LOUD. Ask him to play fairly like a man 1st, then we will see who's the real winner here ?

DAMN IF PSYCHO WAS A PERSON

IF HE'S WINNING DOES IT MATTER HOW HE'S WINNING???? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW THINGS WORK IN THIS WORLD OR ARE YOU ONE OF THE DELULUS WHO THINK HARD WORK IS EVERYTHING?

You are crazy if you think money, connections, power, politics, privilege and luck play zero role in making a star. Please find other 2 yr olds and hug them, don't bring this shit to the adult table its embarrassing.

I'm embarrassed for you.

Scoot---- okay, MA'AM A PUSH IS A PUSH WHETHER IT'S FROM SCOOBY-DOO OR THE DEVIL

TAKE YOUR WEIRD MORAL COMPASS AND CHICKEN CHANGE ETHICS TO SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY GIVES A FUCK

READ MY LIPS

Go weep somewhere else.

You gonna come on the internet and bitch complain bout how the entertainment industry is not fair WELL BOO HOO CRY ME A RIVER YOU LOSER.

And make sure you come with a costume next time so we know the circus from whence you came Missy Clowniot.

You give PJMs a bad name you ASS HAT

You sound like those whiny kpop losers who complain BTS has privilege and connections and power and their lame loser favs don't- as if power and connections are things you throw on people's laps.

If Hard work is all it takes BTS WOULD HAVE SEVERAL GRAMMYS YOU DUMBASS.

And the fact you out here farting yourself in the name of Park Jimin irks me so much. Here's the truth you want so bad, YOU SUCK. And you making Jimin out to be pathetic too damn.

Now I know it's not Park Jimin you out here acting like he's inferior and a victim and a loser who needs the bar to be lowered and for people to choose him love him play fair and nice before he can win. Child THE AUDACITY.

YOU DON'T THINK DO YOU??

I know he's not the one you fucking dragging through the mud indirectly with these brain dead waste of breathe rants.

PLEASE STOP JIMIN DON'T NEED A FAN LIKE YOU.

YOU ARE EMBARRASSING HIM.

The nerve and audacity for you to even compare him to- WELL ANY ONE I'M ABOUT TO PUT HANDS ON YOU FOR THAT.

I WILL SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU FOR THIS FOR REAL.

It's the lack of intelligence and you not taking a hint and you not knowing when to stop- FUCK IT LET'S GET NASTY THEN.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND I IS I CAN'T PUT ANY ONE ON A PEDESTAL ABOVE PARK JIMIN ENOUGH TO VICTIMIZE HIM THE WAY YOU DO.

HE'S IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN PLEASE LEAVE HIM ALONE HE IS NOT COMPETING WITH NO FUCKING ONE

HAVE SOME FUCKING CLASS AND TACT

OR GO OVER THERE WHERE THE OTHER PJMs OF YOUR CALIBRE ARE

IF JIMIN SEES THIS HE WILL THROW UP AND I'M GONNA WIPE HIS VOMIT WITH YOUR FACE YOU RAGGEDY ASS

NEVER EVER EVOOOOORRR COMPARE PARK BIG DADDY JIMIN TO ANY ONE LET ALONE HIS SWEET HEART

NO ONE IS ON HIS LEVEL AND NO ONE WILL EVER BE.

ALSO JIKOOK ARE A FUCKING POWER COUPLE THE FUCK!

IF JUNGKOOK'S POWER MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE

GO SIT OVER THERE

[itooaminthisepisode]

Hi, me again (sorry if this is annoying), but I was wondering if you had any advice on writing fanfics. Cuz i just started, and im having a hard time properly expressing the characters' head space. Or writing dialogues that i feel like the characters would actually say. Again, feel free to ignore this if it's annoying.

not annoying at all don't worry abt it!! glad to help out an aspiring writer!!

and honestly it might sound cliche but my best advice is to read!! see what your favourite fic authors are doing and take note of what you really like about their fics. is it the way they describe emotions? is it their sense of humour? i find that reading a fic with this in mind helps me understand what i want to see in my own fics!!

also, it might sound a little odd but find out what tense you best like to write in. i always used to write in past tense because it's what i was taught, but when i started writing for the house fandom i switched to present tense and it feels SO much easier for me - it feels like i'm actually there, so i can better describe the scene. it might not be the same for you, but i would recommend trying to write a few snippets in different tenses to see what works best!

another thing i would recommend is reading meta posts about your fandoms, specifically character analysis. that certainly helped me when i was stuck with characterisation! alternatively, you could watch an episode or two (or read it or whatever other media your fandoms are) with the express goal of noting down their motivations for doing things. getting to the fundamentals of why a character reacted a certain way, or what made them say a certain thing, is immensely useful.

and one of the best pieces of advice i can give: write what YOU love. don't write something because you think it'll be popular, or because other people like it - write for yourself and yourself alone!! i cannot stress enough how much this mindset helped me. a few years ago i used to get so burned out whenever i tried to write, because i was trying to appeal to the masses with my ideas. all that ended up happening was me getting stressed as hell and never publishing any of it. but now that i'm writing things that i'm interested in and that i enjoy, the process is much easier because i'm genuinely having fun :D

also: don't worry if you think it's 'bad.' it doesn't have to be perfect - it's fanfiction! you're putting it out on the internet for free, and that's incredible in its own right!! plus, i guarantee you that someone out there is going to love it no matter what. try not to compare yourself to other authors either, even if you have an idea similar to someone else - i know it's easier said than done, but comparison is the mind killer. this comic genuinely helped me so much with this:

people will be delighted to see your work!! and don't be afraid to write things that are weird or freaky or a bit out of the box. there's an audience for everything - write for yourself first and foremost, but oftentimes you'll be able to find other people who love the same tropes and ideas and headcanons that you do, and it's great to find a little community where everyone can uplift and support each other :)

hope this wasn't too rambly and i hope it helps!! good luck in your writing endeavours!! <3

[i-was-never-sane]

Okay, so recently I have been seeing a lot of post's about a friend's situation.

I would like to address my concerns about this.

Please know that anything that sounds offensive to you is not at all. Everything will be LIGHTHEARTED.

Any mean shit you have to say, suck it up and cry about it.

I have seen multiple talks about a friend's AU.

And I have heard about it beforehand but never exactly understood the situation,

Now that I have, I would like to show my point of view on this

As I see there is no harm is altering a story line a little.

This has come to an extreme.

I hate hearing all the bullshit about girl's getting raped and boys getting away with it.

I hope that people learn about men SA and stop crying about it.

As much as I do love Circe, I do not support the her actions.

Odysseus has suffered a long time, and altering that time is very fragile.

When I saw the Anon's message, I did not like how it was spoken. But, the anon is right, and I will not deny that.

My friend was wrong and rude with how they reacted.

They did not foresee how that would affect people [especially those who believe in the stories.] and even after that message, they did not at least lose a bit of sleep.

I don't know how I feel about this situation and I am tired emotionally and mentally.

I never thought it would come to this, but i agree with anon. Odysseus and Circe's past cannot and should NOT be altered that easily.

Based on @unhinged-waterlilly 's (im so sorry about the tag, lmk if its annoying) post, my friend's reaction to her talking about what happened to Odysseus was fucking shit. It was like they. Didn't. Even. CARE.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I HATE IT.

Just because it's an alternate universe doesn't mean it. Doesn't. Fucking. MATTER.

Picture this, if someone made an AU where Medusa was the one who beckoned Poseidon to have intercourse with her in Athena's temple. What would other people think?? THEY WOULD GET MAD!

Medusa is a rape victim. And so is Odysseus.

No, Circe is not an 'innocent flower'.

No, Odysseus is not a fucking rapist.

Anon's message was not hate, and I know it wasn't.

But I do believe that there was another way to word it.

Plus, now reading their apology post, it feels so dry. Insincere. No remorse.

I am angry, sad, and tired at the same time.

I am not saying I hate them, but I feel like, me explaining my emotions further will worsen the situation.

i hope this portrays as me lending my opinion and not as an insult.

tagging my friend's taglist because idk what to do.

@zariahthewitch @thegroovydaughterofhestia @if-chaos-was-a-boy @the-gods-strange-children @silena-daughterofaphrodite @fabulousdaughterofhecate @weakest-son-of-sun @chaos-pers0nified @neoptolemus-achilles-son @bast-the-best26 @goddess-of-bubblegum @hispanic-child-of-hermes @gaygirldoodles @luck-is-crucial @reyna4ever @vicious-daughter-of-zeus @feral-hermes-child @oopsies-i-did-a-thing @unfortunate-daughter-of-hestia @that-girl-cupid @ariathemortal @love-lightning-forethought @emdabitchass @kaiaalwayswins @champion-of-revenge @zoe-aura-of-d3ath @itsyourboyezra @lunar-eklipso-r @pink-koi-lovejoy @that-daughter-of-athena @sleepy-as-a-song @smileyalater @gellyhelio @daughter-ofthe-moontitan @demeters-daughter-is-done @the-smart-and-the-dumb-one @trinket-snatcher @creature-under-ur-bed @burnt-out-bitxhes @cloak-of-ares @heraaaaaaaa @unproblematic-hestia

[cannibalismyuri]

way to take things out of context <33 lemme show u some things i said in the actual post that aren't taken out of the connotations i meant to imply them with?

"they also are popular bc they're seen as Better than other creators and put on a pedestal. which is both uncomfortable for them and Highly discouraging for others." this was the whole sentence. way to take things out of context huh.

"many people just disregard other rlly talented creators in favor of the already popular ones (who are popular for a reason. their art / fics / wtv Are really good and i read their stuff too! not trying to put them down here, just trying to lift other people up)" so where in this sentence do u see me saying that they aren't good writers?

"also bragging rights? babe nobody's bragging abt how they get more interaction. that's rude asf and entirely out of the question. and those popular writers ur talking abt who Could brag if they wanted to DON'T. bc they aren't despicable human beings who love to put others down." so did i or did i not clarify that i think the people byler tumblr puts on a pedestal handle it gracefully.

also the way u phrased this is Exactly what's wrong with this fandom. have u ever read anything that wasn't be the 10 writers u idolized? i've found some AMAZING, FREAKISHLY TALENTED, SWEET AND ALL-ROUND LOVELY writers in fandom whom i never would've found if i didn't Specifically try to broaden my horizons. the way you phrased this implies that there is simply nobody who compares to the writers with most engagement and like... how would u know? isn't this exactly the kind of behavior i was saying was Not It? ur putting them on a pedestal and refusing to acknowledge other people, no matter how talented they may or may not be. i'm not saying everybody is an amazing writer right off the bat and that these writers aren't amazing; i'm saying that others may be just as good. i know Several amazing writers eho dont get half the recognition as mediocre writers in other fandoms (NOT! TALKING! ABT! BYLER! HERE!) based on luck and when exactly they post. u guys will never branch out and Try to support these other fic writers who are helping keep this fandom alive and contributing Beautiful fics and then say that the tag is dying just bc UR personal favorite creators aren't creating as much. this doesn't in any way diminish the obvious prowess and skill of the Big writers, bc they're amazing writers and people, but u suggesting that nobody else even comes close? this is NOT nyt bestsellers this is FANDOM. its common courtesy to atleast respect people who write these fics for free and if u can't provide basic respect by trashing others' writing that u haven't even read bc its not one of the Big writer's writing... ur part of the problem.

and im going to say it for the last Fucking time. dont bring my fics or engagement into this. im speaking for so many other people and im trying to demand support for Everyone. this was never just abt me. i said this previously too, but i made a whole ass EVENT to shine light on less popular writers. bylerficrecweek was made for a reason. if it was just abt me and my engagement i never would've wholeheartedly put my whole heart into that project. and don't u Fucking dare insult my writing. "maybe you're not as good at it as you think"? im fucking tired of u coming on my blog, claiming im saying a bunch of BULLSHIT and recontextualizing everything i say and insulting my writing on top of that. you won't see this bc ive blocked u now but. im genuinely so fucking tired. im turning off anon. clearly who ever is sending these has a problem with me personally; so say it with your whole pussy to my face now. ok thx and im Really Fucking Tired please read the post for what its meant to be before mindlessly accusing me of shit.

[prinnamon]

finally done with Shephard's Mind! i took notes on the first couple episodes weeks ago, put the series off, then raced through the rest in the past three days. series official playlist here. it doesn't include some of the extras, but i'll link all of them when i get to them!

even though all my notes are finished, i'm going to split them up into three posts (plus a fourth for comments and misc source finds) so that this is more manageable to revisit. it's a longer series than any of the ones i covered previously.

below are some overall thoughts about Mindrian as a character, followed by my notes on episodes 1-10.

my overall impressions of Shep, not specific to a single episode:

his first instinct is to give people the benefit of the doubt, but if someone definitively betrays his trust. he will hold a grudge.

interested in aliens. not really disgusted by them. doesn't have a problem killing them but doesn't seem to take joy from it that can't be attributed to an appreciation of his own skill/luck/success or a matter of "fuck this specific individual alien."

the description calls him a "cowardly individual," which i've seen one or two people disagree with, but which to me feels accurate. he runs from danger and only faces it head-on when he can't run anymore.

he's not really squeamish about evidence of bad things happening to other people unless the implication is that it could also happen to him. he is unabashedly looking out for himself first.

doesn't use his own name much in his internal monologue early on. did say "Adrian wins" in episode 10, so i started calling him Adrian instead of Shephard. but then he went and started referring to himself as Shephard quite a bit more frequently in the late series. oh well. you’ll all know who i’m talking about.

EPISODE 1

Adrian was asleep before the intro. dozes off again while the others are chitchatting.

considers "your mom" jokes immature.

COMPLETELY silent while the helicopter's getting blasted to bits

says "my tummy hurts" when he regains consciousness at one point. his tummy hurts and he's not gonna be brave about it. as is his right

not too upset at the sight of dead HECU soldiers! i mean, he was trained for this eventuality.

head hurts. flickering lights bad.

he's expecting the first aid station to dispense Advil. it does not.

recognizes his sergeant being carried by scientists on a stretcher. follows because "i'm not gonna miss a chance to see him in pain!"

gets knocked over when the headcrabbed soldier throws the scientist's body through the window. gets back up and runs away!

has a reasonable degree of fear but isn't panicking.

assumes the zombies are black mesa's creation/responsibility. ("hey, your monster broke out of the lab.")

treats the first guard he meets as an ally! …until said guard offers arbitrary instructions Adrian has to follow before they can move on. then Adrian becomes antagonistic towards him.

lets the zombie chase the scientist while he goes for his vest. once he realizes how the headcrabs attack and attach to people, he decides to go help.

doesn't really end up helping. won't let the scientist stand behind him. ultimately leaves him behind. the scientist can be heard getting killed off-screen.

Adrian wants something he can keep between him and the enemy. grabs a rolling chair and pushes it around in front of him. (like Stark with that stool…) ditches it for the wrench immediately but then goes back for it and uses it to climb safely past the laser.

gets a bad electrical shock from a live wire. takes a break to recover.

best line: (after noticing collapsed support beams) "so, uh… you guys doing some renovations in here or what?" (after noticing bloody handprints on the wall) "and, uh, heh, evidently some… ahem… finger painting."

EPISODE 2

acknowledges the HUD! he can see it. it displays on the lenses of his helmet.

doesn't want to touch the crabs :/ avoids instead of engaging!

accosts the guard, demanding he let Adrian in. when he doesn't, Adrian is surprisingly willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and dismiss it as being because of technical difficulties.

would NOT work here.

yells to hear his voice echo in the chasm

"okay. i probably shouldn't look down." (inching closer to the edge of the cliff and looking down) "don't look down. why are you looking down? stop looking down!" (looking back up and moving on) "okay"

very enthusiastic about finding a knife. takes it out of the vortigaunt's corpse without noticing the body. spends several seconds admiring the knife before realizing there's an alien there

"i've never seen an alien up close." (buddy what do you think the crabs are? oh, wait, right, he thinks zombies—and i guess, by extension, also headcrabs—are black mesa's creation.) "but now that i have… now that i have, i feel richer for the experience." he's learning so much!

only mildly bummed/perturbed to reach the crash site and find everyone there dead.

brushes the same arm that was already electrocuted up against the electrified fence in the middle of chastising a dead guard for having been electrocuted.

slur count: 1

i've noticed he goes quiet for long stretches when there's immediate danger or he needs to focus. he may be a contender for mind series character most capable of shutting the fuck up

thinks to check a soldier for a pulse.

cannot whistle. wishes he could.

hit by a vortigaunt's beam. electricity really is his number 1 enemy

never goes to barbecues. they're boring to him

left the base at noon. estimates it to be 5:30 PM now. hoping to "get home before [he misses] the new episode of House tonight" (referring to the show House MD and placing the series between 2004 and 2012)

best line: "all i did was touch an electrified wire and i'm already 12 percent dead! or 88 percent alive, depending on your point of view."

EPISODE 3

formulating a backup plan that involves stealing an alien spaceship from a lab.

sees a barnacle. considers leaving it alone because he wants nothing to do with it. reconsiders. kills it.

thinks maybe this one wasn't an alien. after all, he hadn't heard of echidnas until recently

loves the laser sight on the desert eagle. sounds almost disappointed at how easy it is to kill aliens with it.

has second thoughts about stealing an alien ship. it wouldn't be good to get mistaken for an invader by air traffic control.

wonders if the invasion is happening all over the planet.

hit by a vortigaunt's beam again!

sooo disappointed about being unable to take the lift up to the top

incredibly grateful to gman for letting him out of the electrified toxic waste room. when gman isn't there, Adrian wonders where he could've gone since the other way out is also blocked by electrified toxic waste

unhappy that all his pessimistic predictions are coming true. thinks of himself as "the Nostradamus of fucking up."

thinks headcrabs look like featherless chickens. contemplating taking one home and cooking and eating it.

chastises a dead guard for dying right next to a first aid station. hopes said guard reincarnates as a featherless chicken alien

slur count: 2

has a cousin James who thought he was a spider in his past life & would try to construct webs out of his own hair

fails at tucking and rolling

wonders now if gman ("that suit guy") found a secret passage out. resents gman for not telling him about it.

refers to an automatic gate arm by itself as a toll booth

best line: "okay, that's it! i'm gonna beat the shit out of you… with bullets!"

EPISODE 4

his suit is not waterproof. neither is his mask

disgusted at the barnacles slurming him when he shoots them

mood is greatly improved by the discovery of a hand grenade. mischievously says "it's time to ruin someone's day >:)"

recounts a story of a guy sneaking into prison with a hand grenade up his ass. hopes he can acquire lightning powers so that in case he goes to prison he can have a weapon on hand without having to store it in such a difficult and uncomfortable way

very irritated by the alarm sound

initially mistakes the houndeyes for puppies but guns them down before they can do their soundwave attack.

was terrified of big dogs as a little kid. says that fear has been replaced by his new fear of aliens. (wait, so was he afraid of big dogs until black mesa when he found something to be more afraid of, or did he leave it behind in childhood?)

calls houndeyes hamdogs. (headcrabs are still chickens. zombies are zombie chickens. vortigaunts are, i think, just aliens.)

feeling tired again. apparently couldn't sleep the night before. supposes that "maybe on some intuitive, instinctual level, i really knew this was going to happen."

takes a lil nap on the tram. mumbles in his sleep about "Freeman" and "pulling out," which is quoting something he doesn't hear until next epesode. his premonitions… (technically, Adrian has heard the name "Freeman" before over the intercom--at least, according to Krim; i never verified that myself—but next episode when he hears the name "Freeman," he responds "who?")

gets Otis a chocolate bar from the vending machine. when Otis doesn't move to take it, Adrian goes for it. his now :]

Otis shoots a zombie, so Adrian, impressed, invites him to tag along.

slur count: 3. follows this one with a "no offense" :\

in response to Otis saying "fighting aliens is not in my job description," Adrian offers that at least it'll look good on a resume.

manages to find a working phone and call 911. is sadly taken for a prank caller. may have also reached a pizza place instead of 911..?

best line: (about houndeyes) "and it's got, like, twenty eyes. who the fuck needs to see that many things at once!?"

EPISODE 5

this episode has a cold opening before the intro! and it's a really good gag honestly

gets put on hold by the person on the other end of the call. gets so mad he shoots the phone multiple times

directs Otis to stay behind and make sure everyone who arrives via the tram gets through safely. wow. that's really considerate

calls a headcrab a headcrab for what i believe is the first time! no longer featherless chickens. they are now crabs. another victim of carcinization

announces that backup (himself) has arrived. never walks this back even though everyone dies before he reaches them there

figures out the HEV chargers work with the PCVs!

does not have a dust allergy. this is fortunate, because the vents are dusty.

tells another marine he should go easier on the scientist since the guy's probably at least 60.

wonders who Freeman is. jokingly but accurately guesses he's an "evil scientist who drops people down elevator shafts or collects human skulls or something."

distraught at being shut in while the helicopter leaves without him. recognizes gman from earlier and is angry that he won't open the door.

epic melee combat sequence with cool music playing! Adrian efficiently takes down three vortigaunts using only the wrench and doesn't say a word.

sadly, the above only occurred in Adrian's imagination. in his Shephard's Mind, if you will.

the real encounter involves him running around and wildly shooting without landing most of his shots

fantasizes about enacting cartoon violence against gman

generally no longer surprised by aliens teleporting in. getting used to all the bullshit like finding weapons lying around in random spots and having to crawl through vents. not pleased at the fact that he's getting used to this.

immediately goes for a vent, ignoring a door. catches himself in the middle of doing so, but the door's locked anyway, so he had the right idea in the first place

perplexed at how a metal air vent partially submerged in electrified water does not electrocute him when he stands on it

piss time! nobody was looking, but then of course someone shows up right in the middle so he has to try to play it cool. end of episode.

best line: "like, what happened? did they just suddenly decide to convert this entire room into a pool? i hope they at least put chlorine in it. wouldn't want the aliens to get sick!"

EPISODE 6

the scientist who saw him pissing is dead now. eaten by zombie. no witnesses ("on the upside, the only man who has ever seen me with my pants down is now dead")

"i just saw this guy, like, three minutes ago" huh? took you three minutes to piss???

smacked in the head (helmet) by a fan blade. this is painful but not horribly so

wrist is starting to hurt from the recoil of the guns he's using. anticipates he'll get carpal tunnel "by next year." (so he is counting on his own survival.)

critical of the positioning of the "alien garden" right next to the vents of fire

entranced by the xen light stalks. starts making silly noises and "scaring" them for fun

gets that mischievous manner about him again when he has the opportunity to disobey a warning sign and blow some shit up

questions what the gonome is tossing at him and realizes with disgust that it's throwing parts of its own body

wanting to shower soon. worried about getting sick from alien blood in his wounds. thinks it could give him superpowers or leukemia

feels safe in the vents since it's harder for things to surprise him

irritated at a dying marine's unhelpful and obvious advice

goes for his gun and accidentally grabs the wrench instead for a sec. very silly

once again dreams of commandeering a vehicle to make getting out of here easier

frustrated that all the black mesa employees are afraid of him. thinks he deserves some appreciation for killing aliens.

best line: "looks like the service elevator is… out of service :("

EPISODE 7

successfully conquering (or suppressing) his fear of heights!

anticipates he'll come out of this situation with a drug addiction (which, at this point, he thinks he's earned)

looks back and forth between the crashed elevator and the snapped/sparking cables and then, in a goofy voice, says "well, there's your problem!" and proceeds to laugh for several seconds. i found this endearing

slips and falls :[

plans to make a habit of turning off electricity wherever he can since there have been so many electrical hazards

considers himself good at climbing ropes normally. climbing an elevator cable is a nightmare and a horrible experience (greasy)

"better not fire this gun." (continues holding gun at the ready as though prepared to fire at any moment)

(disapprovingly) is that a crate of explosives!?" (throws a grenade to blow it up)

grossed out by human head on the floor

remarks "what a shocking end!" about an electrocuted scientist. proud of and entertained by his cheesy one-liner

derogatorily calls a headcrab a "little ballsack"

cheerfully greets and has a positive interaction with a scientist

finds a radio. laments that there's nobody still around to call. hears voices nearby, though, so he gives it a try anyway.

links up with other marines for the first time! one of them's Jack, an engineer from his squad in the helicopter at the start! (Adrian doesn't know the other guy, and he won't say his name)

incredibly impressed when Jack lights his cutting torch with his cigarette

guy-who-won't-say-his-name stays behind while Jack and Adrian go on.

Space Oddity is the elevator music here! kinda neat. Adrian sings along a bit but doesn't remember the words.

best line: "oho! you just lit that with a cigarette! didja see that? he lit it with a cigarette. that's hardcore."

EPISODE 8

(while fighting aliens as the elevator music continues) "the power of David Bowie compels you!"

Adrian and Jack cooperate well!

Adrian considers how easily aliens break down doors and whether he could use that to his advantage.

Jack was,,, told to guard this area? so he stays behind. i understand talking to an NPC is sorta impractical, but i will miss him.

explodes a vortigaunt with a knife. shocked at the fact that this really happened. supposes they're so explodeable because their bodies are full of electricity…

the cool melee sequences he could only daydream of a few episodes ago are now a reality! good for him. character growth.

his actual life goal was to go into acting, not the military. thinks he could have cut it as a martial arts movie star.

passes Freeman's employee of the month photo and laughs about it. "yeah, i bet that guy's wishing he had taken the opening for a high school science teacher right about now."

gets briefly strangled by a barnacle. after escaping, he immediately backs into another one. decides these are the worst aliens. "now my trachea feels like someone stepped on it >:("

once again has the displeasure of encountering electrified toxic waste

apparently had gross greasy hands for quite a while after climbing the elevator cable but is no longer plagued by that

feels so insulted to have been shot with bees. would rather be shot with bullets

comes across a medic he doesn't know! pokes fun at the fact that Jack is "bravely defending a walk-in closet."

stumbles into a turret laser and gets shot at. very irritated by this. claims he was there the day turrets were brought onto the base and was assured friendly fire would not be a problem

gets shot at by black ops but still sees them as misguided allies who think he's an alien

when saying "it's me, Corporal Shephard" still gets him shot at, he tries "i mean, Corporal Swanson!" just in case that changes their minds

doesn't actually mean to kill the first assassin; only intended to fire off "a few warning shots."

worried about being court-martialed for killing four people.

there's a fifth assassin. Adrian fights him. while the assassin lies on the ground, Adrian says, "i'm sorry, but I can't have any witnesses" and then shoots him in the head.

he’s hoping the situation doesn't continue to spiral out of control and result in him having to kill even more people

has always wanted to say "double-time it" and is happy he got the chance to do so

i really like the way he tells the medic "come on, come on! we got an injured guy! there's no time to dust for fingerprints here! let's go!" because it simultaneously conveys the urgency he feels because of the engineer's injuries and his need to hurry the medic along so that he doesn't put together the details of what Adrian did. 😀😄

best line: "that's how it goes. in the face of extinction, all men become equals. and most of them become dead."

EPISODE 9

accidentally hits the engineer's gas can when trying to take out the turret. very dismayed at the bloody mess. the medic is unconcerned

never expected he'd ever actually kill someone. even when he enlisted, the possibility didn't feel real

makes several unsuccessful attempts to flirt with the assassins

says "okay, this time i'm not going to kill anyone" and then takes the assassins out with the pipe wrench, spraying blood everywhere. Adrian..! that kills people!

chastises a marine for getting BITS all over the place. later admonishes the same guy for talking loudly while they're trying to stay hidden. sadly has nothing nice to say to him

formulates a plan to dispose of all the weapons he used to murder people today in electrified toxic waste. suspects that black mesa disposes of incriminating evidence the same way

Adrian's knee gets grazed by a bullet because he's trying to flirt with an assassin. he STILL keeps trying even after this

very pleased with himself because he thinks he's being very stealthy, hiding from some assassins behind a box. accidentally backs into some other assassins.

suggests black leather in a brightly-lit area with light-colored walls may not be the pinnacle of stealth

can't explain why, but he feels Freeman is the reason he's here.

carries the SAW (which he calls the M60) for a while and uses it until it runs out of ammo. decides it's too heavy to justify carrying indefinitely. abandons it.

best line: "you see that, private? i just shot her in the leg. that's called courtesy."

EPISODE 10

anticipates being awarded a good ten medals at the end of this. purple heart for sure. thinks he's eligible for a medal of honor. as long as he's not a wanted criminal, that is.

he is DELIGHTED with how well things went when he distracted an assassin with a grenade and then shot him in the back of the head. "Adrian wins. Flawless victory."

shocked to find a rocket launcher not in use. disappointed that he can't carry it with him. "goddamn. i really wanna blow things up :("

believes he's "almost outta here." buddy you're not even at the halfway point of the series

"who's there? come out where i can see you! i got a half-melted chocolate bar and i'm not afraid to eat it!"

hears Freeman's name. looking forward to kicking his ass.

VERY nearly makes it into the portal after him.

somehow able to tell the difference between an open portal and a closed one.

has a lot of reservations about being on "the alien planet." might breathe in poisons… might contract an alien virus… nowhere to get a cup of coffee…

enjoying the low gravity, though. feels strong.

holding onto some uranium-235 even though he doesn't currently have any weapons that use it as ammo because he thinks he can sell it after this is over.

gets launched by a "crazy space trampoline" and hates the planet again.

a scientist falls from a portal up above, to which Adrian says "oh my god. it's raining men"

calls the displacer cannon the BFG9000

engages in the classic pastime called "make up a guy to get scared of" (jokes about there being giant bees and then gets worried about having to fight giant bees)

falls and screams for so long he runs out of breath and starts to cough. pathetically tries to continue screaming but can't make it work and is confused that he isn't dying

best line: of COURSE it has to go to "hey! get back here, you big orange fuck!"