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trans House would get that type of bottom surgery where you get to end up with both a penis and a vagina because it gives him the most options for his horny antics with Wilson

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Turns out, Wilson thinks he’s gay.

He drops that bomb on a Thursday night, sitting on House’s couch, where they’re splitting a greasy pizza and a large order of onion rings. Wilson’s not nearly drunk enough for it to be a joke, is the thing. His hands and voice are steady when he explains how it’s haunted him since he was a teenager, how he ran from it and into three failed marriages, how he cheated because he liked the thrill of the chase but was always unsatisfied with the outcome. He wants to tell the important people in his life to ask them for support in this new era, and House is the first one to know.

And yeah, it could explain things. A lot of things. Like the haircare routine, the regular mani/pedis, the shoe collection. This wouldn’t surprise many people. But House isn’t sure he believes him.

Still, Wilson is his best friend, so he tries.

He doesn’t interrupt the first time he sees Wilson getting a little too close and smile-y with a male nurse. (He interrupts the second time, because he knows that nurse is a vegetarian, and House can’t have that influencing Wilson’s cooking and takeout habits.)

He doesn’t sabotage Wilson’s first date with another man. (He does steal Wilson’s phone the next morning and delete the guy’s text asking for a second date, because anyone asking so soon is desperate, and Wilson can do better.)

He tells Wilson which shirts, ties, and pants make him look gay, only this time, he means it positively. He starts TiVoing Queer as Folk for them, instead of The L Word. He offers Wilson poppers one weekend, then has to explain what they are, and how he came to find out about them in the first place (he used to rave in the 80’s, so what?).

House is being supportive, really. Even if he still doesn’t totally buy that Wilson is actually gay.

Mostly, he doesn’t think Wilson is gay because nothing changes.

Wilson still comes over most nights to watch trash TV and drink beer. He still dutifully drops his responsibilities at work, albeit briefly, to provide a diagnostics consult, or to assist in some borderline illegal scheme. They still hang out, and argue, and laugh, and bicker, and celebrate wins together, and are there for each other in the quiet aftermath of loss. They’re still the same.

Maybe Wilson is just confused because he expected to have a wife and kids, and to live in the suburbs by now. Maybe he thinks the reason for this heteronormative failure is that he’s been chasing the wrong kind of tail, instead of the fact that he spends half his time at work and the other half with House, leaving no room for anything or anyone else. And maybe House should feel guilty about that, about robbing Wilson of the life he deserves and forcing him into a fake midlife sexuality crisis, but he doesn’t.

He sort of feels bad about that part, though—the fact that he doesn’t feel bad at all.

But he’s forced to acknowledge his faults when Wilson approaches him in his office one night, trembling before he can even get the words out, I can’t hide how I feel anymore, I need to tell you the truth.

House accepts that he’s selfish because he lets Wilson kiss him breathless, knowing Wilson will never be able to kiss anyone else like this again, knowing that when he tells Wilson to take him home, he’ll never be able to leave. Now he gets it all, the early mornings and the late nights, the warm beds and the cold shoulders, the biting words and the gentle apologies, and every jagged edge left will be weathered by time.

He understands that he’s greedy because he drinks up all the praises and pleading, every filthy word Wilson moans into his ear and whispers into his skin. There’s a lifetime of hunger behind it, a cosmic collision of pain and joy and grief and devotion. It’s a wine aged for twenty years between them, bottled want and yearning, poured into an overflowing glass.

He recognizes that he’s possessive, because he knows he’s got him now, and it's for good. There’s no more sharing attention, or waiting his turn, or swallowing the bitter bile of jealousy. Wilson will stray from any map to follow his true north.

So, whatever, maybe Wilson is lying about being gay, but at least House is honest about being worse.

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the kiss

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let's build a spud gun with mama dad

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let’s commit medical malpractice with mama

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been loving the recent posts about chase because bro is so insane as a character

- dead mother, abusive czech dad who visits him while dying of lung cancer and doesn’t say anything

- goes to seminary, tries become a priest but gets axed after sleeping with the groundskeeper’s wife

- ends up becoming a doctor like his dad after all

- is australian

- has an ambiguous background in bdsm

- falls in love with his coworker after hearing her mention sex one singular time

- has internalised fatphobia

- is friends with nuns

- sleeps with his coworker (who’s stolen meth from a patient after possibly getting hiv from said patient)

- has sex with his coworker in a patient’s house, and in the hospital’s sleep lab, and in a storage closet

- kisses a 9 year old with terminal cancer after she begs him to

- gets fired and proceeds get a different job on a different floor of the same hospital

- hypnotises his boss (who has just gotten his skull cracked open)

- goes into anaphylactic shock after doing body shots off a stripper at his bachelor’s party (planned by his ex-boss, who’s subconscious (in the form of a hallucination of ex-boss’s best friend’s dead girlfriend) tries to murder chase by deliberately hiring a stripper who uses strawberry lotion that chase is allergic to)

- marries his coworker on the day their ex-boss gets committed to a psychiatric hospital

- murders an african dictator

- nearly gets caught for murdering the dude, has to be covered by his ex-ex-boss and coworker

- goes into a spiral which convinces his coworker-wife that he’s cheating on her 2 months into their marriage

- confesses to murdering the dictator to his wife, who leaves him

- sleeps with his ex-wife/ex-coworker in an exam room while the hospital is on emergency lockdown

- gets his only new haircut in the entire show after his divorce

- pretends to be a dumb, misogynistic, unemployed american while speed dating to prove that his looks don’t matter as much as his personality. even while pretending to be a loser, he still gets a bunch of women’s numbers

- sleeps with a woman at the wedding of some important hospital person, gets photographed nude, and is then made fun of by all his coworkers for having a tiny dick

- gets stabbed

- has a sex dream about his coworker who he is very much not into after the coworker confesses to having a sex dream about him

- takes over the diagnostics department after his boss and boss’s boybestfriend run away for their gay death pact

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my legal team has informed me that the things i want to do to that man are 'illegal' and 'immoral'

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heart 4 brains

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again... wilson being pet

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NO YOU’RE RIGHT. YOU’RE SO RIGHT. i love hilson as much as the next guy but the fandom tendency to completely devalue the lives of female characters is unbearable. killing amber off in the first place was a pretty egregious example of fridging but the fandom almost celebrating it for the hilson potential is just like. come on guys.

on another note, i would’ve loved to see an AU where amber lived and we got to see more of her and house’s dynamic when they were social equals (eg. when she was dating wilson and not employed at PPTH). do you think they ever could’ve been friends?

yeah this is the thing. on the one hand, it’s hard to give the fandom too much shit for this when so much of amber’s writing in canon is just straight up misogynistic anyway—the fridging, everyone calling her ‘cutthroat bitch’ (which, come on, is not being used in the funny ‘lol slay queen’ reclaimed sense that it might be today and that i think a lot of the 2025 fandom interprets it as; it’s a derogatory nickname coined by a man that is clearly meant to put her down), being punished by the narrative for pulling the exact same shit as house and other male characters, etc. on the other hand…try harder, lol.

and like: we find out a lot of fascinating things about amber. i think there's probably a kernel of truth in her frustrated 'mommy didn't love me enough, daddy expected too much from me' explanation as to why she loves to win so much in games, given her later claim that before wilson she thought she had to choose between love and respect. if there is, that's a massive parallel to chase--who explicitly tells house to hire her and who she openly schemes with in 97 seconds, why does nobody talk about that--but even if there isn't, it's still fascinating that THAT'S where her mind goes to for an explanation that'll get house off her back, right? she goes through this whole off-screen character arc--she leaves games 'trying not to care', and returns relatively well-adjusted as wilson's new girlfriend a few episode later--and nobody seems interested in what happened there, what drew her to wilson specifically. part of the whole perversion of her hallucination form in s5 is that even at her worst, amber was never that cruel. there is so much to go off of here. i guarantee if she were a man she'd be a top 5 fandom character. can anyone fucking hear me. hello....

anyway: could amber and house ever have been friends? i'm gonna say something controversial: i think by the time amber died, they already sort of were. something nobody talks about AGAIN is that house's head specifically really...toys with this idea that house was attracted to amber. the woman who takes her place in his hallucinations is objectively very attractive. there's that whole eroticised tying-the-scarf-around-the-leg lap sequence. house fumbles and gets flustered when she pops up during the hypnosis session, and doesn't refute wilson when he points out that this is because house genuinely respects her. even that night at the bar: he doesn't shove her away. he goads her to stay for a drink. he sits and talks with her on the bus. this is what i mean when i say i think house wanted amber to live for her own sake: by the time she died, he'd stopped seeing her solely as a reflection of himself. he liked her. in that dream-vision on the bus after her death, he confides in her as an equal: wilson is going to hate me. i've often wondered if what might have driven the wedge between house and wilson in an alternate s4 ending where amber lived is house liking her too much, as a flipside to the whole 'mom said it's my turn on the xbox wilson' custody dispute he has going on with her in s4; we never do find out why house got so drunk that night in the first place, and i suspect in a longer s4 it might've been more heavily hinted that he had feelings for her with zero intent of acting on them. all this to say: yeah, i think they would have been friends.

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amber volakis i adore you

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amber volakis i adore you

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amber volakis i adore you

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amber volakis i adore you

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amber volakis i adore you

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amber volakis i adore you

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amber volakis i adore you