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running-with-kn1ves · 2 days

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Satin Pillows To Cry On

CW: coercion with money, age gap(7 yrs), transactional marriage, obsessive/yandere behavior

gn! reader

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You’ve got nothing else, no one else to rely on.

‘You’re something he bought to keep from growing old.”

Your clothes are worth small countries. Your cars stacked in 3-level garages. Diamonds, emeralds, pearls hanging from your wrists and ears, satchels made of endangered animal skins, different shoes for each day of the year.

Your boyfriend of three years spat at your feet when you told him what you were doing.

“His money can’t love you, not like I can.”

The wedding was only two months away when you broke up with him, told him you couldn’t live in his broke-down apartment anymore, that you couldn’t live with debt trailing wherever you went. You went so far as to make him hate you, to tell him that you never wanted to see him again, that you never loved him, that he better not bother showing up to the wedding. You didn’t want him there, you never wanted to see him again.

“You’re lying to me; he’s making you say these things, he’s using you against me! You’ve known him what-- two seconds, and you’re going to marry this man?! He’s nearly a decade older than you!”

Seven years of an age gap or not, he was still a thousand times more independent, wealthy, and a safer choice than your boyfriend. You weren’t some fresh college student new to the world, you had graduated over two years ago, still finding no luck in getting a stable income-- forget about whether or not it was in the field of your degree.

You left in a single day, fitting all of your scavanged belongings into one of your fiance’s awaiting cars. You left anything worth of value with your ex-boyfriend, knowing he’d find more use out of it than you would. You would even leave the rest of your things there if he could find use for them, but you knew they’d just be one more painful reminder of your betrayal.

He did as you said, not showing up to your wedding, staying clear, never appearing in your line of sight since the day you left. It made it easier…. For both of you that way.

And now you were happy-- well, maybe not happy, maybe not even content, but you were… safe. You had everything you needed: a working car, a stable job that you felt productive in, a clean and comforting house to come home to, a spouse. Sure, maybe you didn’t get your new job yourself, or your house or your car-- but did that really matter, in this economy? Who wouldn’t trade their life and their independence for this kind of wealth?

And your husband… he wasn’t all bad. He might have only wanted you for the sake of having you at first, like a new jewel or the latest technological invention. But he was doting and caring in his own way. Maybe just a tiny bit too invested in you, in your schedule and who you talked to. A little too hateful towards your ex-boyfriend, the one who had you before he could. But everyone had character flaws, and on good days you could distract him from his grumpy mood and stress and obsessive behaviors by being the loving and oh so perfect spouse you had trained yourself to be ever since he asked to marry you.

“Colder than all that gold…” You repeated in your mind, the words your family whispered to each other at your wedding reception only a few feet away from you.

That was over six months now, though… the honeymoon phase never existed, you rarely saw your husband except for his midnight appearances back from the office, and whenever he would whisk you away for a weekend vacation to savor the time he had with you. For someone more sophisticated, much wealthier, and dare you say handsomer than the average man-- you were surprised to find he didn’t have a line of divorces behind him.

No; he said, he had been “waiting for you.” whether you or he knew it, he understood right from the moment of meeting you that you were the one he’d have for the rest of his life, even if it killed him. That severity… scared you. But in a sick sense, it made you feel relieved. Forever? This could be yours, forever? Your family would never have to struggle again, you would never have to worry where your next meal came from?

“I cleared your schedule until tuesday; we’re going to the isles. A mini vacation, you might call it. Get your things.”

He was cold, that was for sure. But, was he any worse than your ex-boyfriend, especially when he was offering you an expensive experience on top of that?

“All right..” You acquiesced.

And now, you lied sunken into the bed feeling his loving, hot breath on your navel. Going so sweetly slow, so oddly and uncharacteristingly lingering with his touches as he gazes into your eyes. You didn’t like this; didn’t like that when he was cherishing you, making love to you, holding you so intimately, he was appearing… like a husband should. Where did he get the nerve to ignore you everyday, to have hardly any time for you, only to come back and beg for your love when it was convenient for him?

But you keep your mouth shut, like you should, if you want to keep eating breakfast in bed, keep wearing silk robes while watching the view of the ocean outside your window.

“So beautiful…you’re like a work of art, the kind no amount of money can buy.”

That was funny, hilarious even. Enough so to make you cry.

A familiar face passes by the slightly ajar door to distract you, likely one of the housekeepers leaving for the night. But you swear the man’s figure reminds you of someone from your past, someone you loved and left for good.

Your husband brings back your attention by placing a gentle kiss to your temple, blindly undoing the clasp of the necklace he bought you.

“I’m so lucky… so lucky to have been the one to catch you, forever. No one could’ve done it, not without what I have.”

He wanted you to kiss and caress back, but sometimes lying still was just enough. It was enough for him to witness you, basking in the glow of everything you wore from him, lying in the Egyptian cotton sheets he paid extra for, your body molded to the diet his personal chefs cooked.

Even as he pushed a knee between your legs, traveling from your navel to your stomach with open-mouthed sucks and kisses in the rawest form of affection, you couldn’t help but turn your face deep into the pillow. So soft, the soft purple shielding your eyes from his tender gaze.

You might’ve given up love, given up everything familiar and those who you’ve cared for-- but at least you had satin pillows to cry on, and the finest jewelry to wipe your tears with.

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emmyrosee · 2 days

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Pls pls pls help a girl out!!

Its shark 🦈 week and whenever I’m in shark week I crave angst full on body angst ne you write it best 😭 pity me

I write it the best…? 🥺🩷 also no specific character in mind for this, but yall are married so 🫶🏻

————-

You’ve been yelling at each other for hours.

The circles of verbal assault haven’t slowed its pace, vile, cruel words flying from one mouth to pierce the heart of the other, only for the other words to come harder, meaner, louder. The throes of anger keep you both pinned in place, unable to stop, think, and see the damage you’re causing each other.

Your hands are swollen from your fists being so tightly balled, migraine forming from your scowling. His brows are stuck pinched in the center of his forehead, so deep you’re convinced they’ll stay there for days after you’re done. His teeth are grit so tight together that you want to massage his jaw to make them loosen before he shatters his pearly whites into pieces.

The culprit? A cold cup of tea, that now sits to the side dejectedly.

Because of that cold cup of tea, you’ve been screaming for two, going onto three hours, with no end in sight.

But, it’s not about the cold tea. It’s about the fact that the urgency in your love is gone, the quickness and determination to be with each other has dissolved into nothing but sugar melting in a mug of tea. Your time together has been awkward, it’s been minimal, and in your search to do something nice for him, like a warm cup of tea, he allowed it to get cold, and… what happened next?

There’s boundaries being crossed, lines of truce being broken as you cast vicious words against each other, the use of insecurities to make the other crumble and conjure a look of hurt, only to morph to disgust and yell back something even more heinous.

And yet…

“What did I even marry you for?” He snarls, throwing his arms out. “I’m certain it wasn’t for this! So why are we wasting our time right now?”

Your world stops.

In an instant, all words die on your tongue. Your mouth opens and closes like a fish as all you can think about are his words. They repeat in your head, almost in slow motion, as your heart sinks in your chest.

“What…?” you croak. Your throat is dry, mouth cottony, and you silently pray to anything, holy and not, merciful and malicious, that you didn’t hear him right. Your mind is lying, so tired of fighting you’re seeing the worst in him as a defense mechanism.

“You heard me,” he barks. “Your life is so miserable? You hate it here so much? GO.”

You heard him right.

You wished you hadn’t.

Your arms come up to cradle yourself in comfort, the fire swirling in your chest now extinguished, the once lively fight now being reduced to a ringing in your ear.

You’d… when did he…

“You don’t get to sit here, call me a cheater, a loser, a liar, all for your own good mind. Not when I’ve put my whole LIFE into you. I gave you my WHOLE. LIFE.”

“Why…”

“What?” He snarls.

You sniffle. Your bottom lip wobbles, and you blink a line of scalding tears out; you’re surprised they don’t sizzle your flesh from being so hot with frustration.

“Why… are you being so mean?”

“Mean?” He snaps. “Mean, you’ve called me some of the cruelest shit I’ve ever heard in your vocabulary, but I’m being mean? Do you even hear yourself, IM THE MEAN ONE?”

“Do you really wonder why you married me…?”

Your voice is so quiet, you wonder if he heard you.

He opens his mouth to spew his venom, only to stop dead in his tracks. His brows soften as his eyes widen, jaw slacking subtly. For the first time tonight, the room is quiet; still thick enough to cut the tension with a blade, but it’s quiet enough where you both can gather your thoughts.

You wipe your nose with your arm, “do you really think I want to stay here and fight with you? Is that how you think I want to spend my night with you?” You sob softly, “because it’s not. I don’t want to fight with you over cold tea… I don’t want to…”

You can practically see the lightbulb over his head light up. That’s right, you think to yourself. This is about tea.

“I…”

“I don’t question why I married you,” you whimper. “I know exactly why- because I love you. But the man I know would never, and I mean never, verbally assault and question his love for me over a cold. Cup. Of. Tea.”

“I don’t…” he shakes softly. “How did we get here…?”

“You started this war,” you hiss. “I didn’t.”

“Baby…”

“Don’t you fucking baby me,” you snap. “No. You don’t get to do that as a way to weasel out of this. You’re not going to guilt me with pet names to forgive you.”

“No, no, baby- damn, no, I mean-“

“You know what?” You pull your lips down into a frown and throw your hands out in defeat. “You want me gone so bad? I’m gone.”

“No, no, wait,” he begs, reaching out for one of your hands. You whip them back like he’s made of fire, and he reels away, as if keeping you safe, “no, I don’t want you to leave. I don’t question my love for you, I’d rather die than ever have you wonder if I love you-“

“Then you’d better have a goddamned good explanation for this,” you hiss. “Because right now? We’re done.”

“No!”

“I’m…” your strength is gone. Your lip quivers and your hand comes up to cover your mouth, and you wail as you make a dash out of the room, darting for the bedroom. You lock the door and slam your fist against the wood, screaming, howling in agony at the heartbreak of potentially losing your husband over a cold cup of tea.

Things spiraled so far out of control, that he questioned his love for you. How are you to come back from that? Angry words are truth shrouded in cruelty, and you are not going to let him berate you in such a manner as to wonder if this marriage was a good choice. You deserve far more, far better, than that.

On the other side of the door, you hear a soft poomf, then a thump. You stop crying to try and figure out the noises and their purpose.

“I’m here,” he says quietly, a far different tone from how he was speaking to you not three minutes ago. “I won’t try to come in. I won’t make you talk to me. But I’m here… and I love you. And I’m sorry.”

“Bite me,” you choke.

You hear him sigh through his nose, “I… I know why I married you,” he whispers. You don’t say anything. He continues regardless, “because you’re you. And on our first date, you were late because you hated the outfit you had planned, but you looked so fucking good, I couldn’t handle it. And it was that day, I decided I wanted to wait for you, forever. You are more than worth waiting for. And…” you hear him clear his throat, but there’s an emotional block in his voice, “I’ll keep waiting for you. Right here, on this floor. I’ll sleep, I’ll eat, I’ll piss I’ll die here, I don’t care, I’m right here. And I’ll stay here to prove that you’re worth waiting for.” He shudders.

“I’m happy to wait for you.”

———

haikyuu: daichi, kageyama, tsukishima, kuroo, yaku, iwaizumi, mattsun, hanamakki, oikawa, kyotani, ushijima (different font), kita (also different font), atsumu, osamu, suna, sakusa, meian

bnha: bakugou, dabi, hawks

jjk: gojo, geto, nanami, sukuna, toji, shiu

tokyo rev: baji, draken, mikey, hanma, rindou

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firehose118 · 16 hours

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in sickness

for @bucktommypositivityweek - predict the future

Buck is rooting through their sock drawer when he finds it.

He’s looking for a particular pair of socks: wool, blue and grey striped, soft and warm. They’re the ones that Tommy likes to wear when he’s sick, and right now he is sick. It’s nothing life-threatening, but Tommy is miserable. He hasn’t been able to breathe out of his nose for two days now, his nostrils have been rubbed raw by tissue after tissue, and he’s still shivering under three blankets.

When Buck shoves aside several identical pairs of white socks and sees the little box, he’s confused; almost a little panicked. This isn’t where he hid it. He could have sworn it was still in his locker at work. How did it get here? How did it get to the house, first of all, and how did it end up on Tommy’s side of their sock drawer? Oh god, did Tommy already see it? There goes the surprise.

And then Buck realizes that this is a different box than the one that houses the ring he bought for Tommy. It’s a different color, texture, and it’s from a different store. That means Tommy bought this. Tommy bought a ring. Tommy bought a ring.

Tommy wants to get married. Tommy wants to keep Buck forever. It’s not a surprise—they’ve talked about it, and Tommy has been more than clear that he’s in this relationship for the longhaul; more than clear that he’s deeply in love with Buck and their life together—but it makes Buck’s heart flutter just the same. Tommy is ready to make the commitment.

Buck must have been still and silent for too long, because Tommy raises his head from where he’d been buried under the covers and looks in Buck’s direction.

“Did you find them?” Tommy asks, his voice scratchy and stuffy.

There’s no point in pretending like he didn’t find the ring. This is all he’s going to be able to think about now, and he’s terrible at hiding his thoughts. Tommy would sniff it out in a moment, even this sick.

“Uh,” Buck says, a massive smile taking over his face. “I- I found something.” He holds up the little box.

Tommy looks confused for a moment and then his eyes go wide. “Oh. You weren’t supposed to- I had a plan.” His head hits the pillow with a groan.

Buck walks over to the bed, still smiling, and kneels on the floor by Tommy. “Oh, you had a plan, huh?”

“Yeah,” Tommy sighs. His frown is earnest and adorable. “Big romantic thing. Helicopter and a picnic at sunset. You were gonna love it.”

That does sound like something Buck would love. It’s thoughtful, sweet, intimate—fun. It’s so much better than anything Buck has been able to come up with. Buck has been making and scrapping plans for two months now because they weren’t perfect. Tommy’s plan was perfect.

Still, Buck can’t let Tommy think he was the only one ready for the next step. Who knows how long Tommy has had that ring. Has he been waiting for a sign that Buck was ready? He’s been so good about letting Buck set the pace of this relationship. This would have been the first step that Tommy asked Buck to take since their first kiss, first date. Buck wants Tommy to know he’s ready. They’re moving at the same pace, and Buck thinks that’s a beautiful thing. Well worth ruining the surprise over.

“And what if I told you I bought a ring too?” Buck bites his lip.

“Yeah?” Tommy asks, his face lighting up. He tries to sit up but Buck stops him with a hand on his chest, rubbing it back and forth soothingly.

“Yeah. But I hid it somewhere you wouldn’t find it. Not in one of our shared spaces,” Buck teases. “Babe, I wear your clothes all the time.”

Tommy’s eyebrows pull together stubbornly. “Never my socks, though. You hate my socks.”

Buck has never said that out loud but it’s true. He’s a little overwhelmed by the casual intimacy that knowledge betrays. Tommy knows him so well. Tommy pays attention to him so well, and he seems happy to. It’s all Buck has ever wanted. Finally, Buck has the kind of love he’s spent his entire life searching for. He’s never been more sure that Tommy is it for him.

“I do,” Buck says. He sounds utterly besotted even to his own ears. “Your socks are terrible. The toe seams are too thick.”

“I’ve never once noticed the toe seam,” Tommy laughs, equally as besotted. Like the way Buck sees the world is charming and beautiful to him instead of frustrating and in need of correction.

“I have a hard time believing that.” Buck hands Tommy the ring box. “I’ll put this back and wait for your big romantic proposal if you want. The answer will be the same.”

Before he can respond, Tommy sneezes. Buck hands him a fresh tissue from the box on the nightstand. Tommy takes it and looks at Buck consideringly. He smiles fondly and shakes his head.

“No need to wait. Honestly, I think this might be more romantic.” Tommy gestures with the tissue. “In sickness and in health, right?”

The wet sound of him blowing his nose makes it very clear which side of that dichotomy he’s on at the moment.

“That’s right,” Buck smiles.

Tommy smiles back. He’s glassy-eyed and red-nosed, his hair is wild, and his stubble is scruffier than he usually lets it get. Still, in this moment, he’s the most handsome man Buck has ever seen.

Tommy’s hands shake a little as he opens the box. The ring is beautiful: simple gold, wide and rounded, understated and elegant. Timeless. It’s perfect.

“Evan Buckley,” Tommy starts, voice scratchy and congested. He gives Buck a pained look and sighs. “I had a whole speech planned for this, but my brain is so fucking foggy right now I can’t remember it all.” They both laugh. “But I know why I love you, so I’ll start there. You’re kind, and brave, and smart. You keep me on my toes and you make me laugh. You make me feel safe. I don’t think I’ve ever felt held the way I do with your arms around me. You love with your whole heart, and I feel so lucky that someone as incredible as you chose me. You’re the best partner anyone could ask for. Every day with you is better than the last. There were so many times over the years when we almost met that it’s kind of insane we didn’t, but I’m glad it took us so long. You know I don’t really believe in this stuff most of the time, but I think we met when we did for a reason. We weren’t ready for each other before that hurricane. But I’m ready for you now, and I hope you’re ready for me, too. I love you more than I could ever hope to put into words. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

“Please,” Buck says breathlessly. Tommy’s laugh is filled with affection as Buck hurries to correct himself. “I- I mean of course, yes. Yes, I- I will marry you.”

The tears are coming now. Even through the brainfog that comes with a cold like this, Tommy was able to pull that off. If that wasn’t the rehearsed speech, Buck doesn’t think he would have survived the real one. It makes Buck’s general you flipped my life rightside-up and now I see the world in color and I’ll love you forever feel a little inadequate. He needs to organize his thoughts a little better before he can present them to Tommy.

“I- I have a speech too,” Buck assures him, “but it’s not ready yet.”

“That’s okay,” Tommy says easily. He’s looking at Buck with such naked adoration that it makes Buck’s heart soar. “Neither of us were expecting this today. Give it to me when you give me my ring.”

Buck nods and sniffles. “I will.”

Tommy reaches for him. “Can I have your hand, sweetheart?”

Buck gives Tommy his hand and Tommy slides the ring onto his finger. It fits perfectly. It looks like it’s always been there.

Illness be damned, Buck has to kiss him. They’re long past the point of caring about getting each other’s germs. Tommy’s lips are chapped from days of breathing through his mouth, he tastes stale, and his skin is hot and clammy. It’s one of the best kisses Buck has ever had.

They pull back when Tommy needs to breathe. Buck doesn’t go far. He runs a hand through Tommy’s hair and just admires him. Even like this, he’s gorgeous. Buck is so lucky. This is the person who looked at Buck and saw him for who he is—who looked at Buck and saw Evan. This is the person who has had a front-row seat to all of his flaws and insecurities and bad habits and found something to love about all of them. This is the person who doesn’t love him anyway but loves him because—who loves his jealousy because it makes him feel wanted, loves his clinginess because it makes him feel held, loves his tendency to speak without thinking because it’s honest. This is the person who never makes him feel insecure about wanting or needing anything; about who he is. This is the person he’s going to spend the rest of his life with. His fiancé. His soon-to-be husband. His-

“Baby, can I please have my socks?” Tommy asks in a small voice.

“Oh!” Buck had gotten so sidetracked by the whole proposal thing that he forgot why he was looking through Tommy’s side of the sock drawer in the first place. Buck presses a quick kiss to Tommy’s forehead and jumps up. “Of course, I’m sorry.”

Buck goes back to their dresser. The wool socks are right on top. He doesn’t know how he missed them before. It feels like a sign, like he was supposed to find the ring first.

It feels like the universe saw how stressed he’s been about getting the proposal exactly perfect and decided this was the right way for them to get engaged. No big plans, no rehearsed speeches, no theatrics. Just love and care and the simple intimacy of this life they’ve made together: messy and raw and gross. It’s so imperfect that it’s kind of perfect. It’s them.

This is why none of Buck’s plans had felt right. He’d been so focused on making things perfect and exciting for Tommy that he’d lost sight of what really mattered. The strength of their relationship isn’t in the big, dramatic moments. Sure, they met during a hurricane, but they built their relationship in the quiet, imperfect, domestic moments as they learned how to take care of each other. Their relationship isn’t a fantasy: it’s reality. It works precisely because it’s imperfect and they both want it anyway—because they are imperfect and they both still want each other.

Buck puts the socks on Tommy’s feet for him, then he lays under the covers next to him. He pulls Tommy to snuggle into his chest. Tommy is still sniffly and clammy and, objectively, pretty disgusting. Buck pulls him closer.

Soon, Tommy drifts off. He snores in the loud, startling way he only does when he’s congested. Buck feels lucky to hear it. He runs his hand through Tommy’s hair and feels his ring catch on the strands. Happy, content, at ease; Buck settles in.

{give me kudos!}

#i had fun with this one!#bucktommy #911 abc #mine #bucktommypositivityweek

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bbokicidal · 2 days

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Hihi congratulations on 1k! Lixie family prompt 3 and 6 please omg I'd die for that cute sight 🥺

Oh, goodness. Ty also!! I really appreciate it n I love seeing u in my notifs all the time!!

Family Prompts #3 & #6 : Having Triplets + Reacting to their Firsts - Lee Felix

Felix... oh, Felix.

Man is STRESSED the second he finds out you're having three babies at once. Buuuut, he's also so, so excited!!!! He's going to spoil the shit out of these babies and if you think otherwise, you're absolutely wrong.

He's doing everything he can during the pregnancy process. Finding a place for you two with a massive room for a nursery - painting that nursery, decorating it with you with pinks, blues, and yellows. I cannot put into words how absolutely excited he is to have three babies with you.

He's also the type to kiss your tummy at every given point he can. He'll sit behind you and hold up your bump every evening for some time so you can relax with the weight off of your back, massage your shoulders for you - keep you as relaxed as possible.

He will do his absolute best to do everything he can for the babies once they're born. Waking up with you to watch what you do when they get fussy, rocking them to sleep when you're too tired to do so, feeding them bottles and changing them so carefully that they fall asleep on the changing table in his gentle hold.

(Before you ask - Yes. They all have his freckles.)

And as they get older, he'll freak out about every thing they do. Especially when one of your daughter's first words is during a little interview where he introduces them to his group members - and the word she says is '아저씨 [Ajussi/Uncle]' to Chan because she remembers him from photos you've shown her.

He'll bawl when he sees them all curled up with their uncles, too. All the little girls just balled up in their arms, one sleeping on Changbin's tummy and chest, one drooling on Jeongin's arm as he holds her, and one clinging to Jisung in her sleep while he sleeps beneath her on the floor.

The first time he brings them with him to work because you're out of town with your family, he cries at that, too. He sniffles a little seeing them now old enough to run around with the others, Jeongin and Seungmin chasing two of them down while the third is entertained by Minho and Hyunjin painting her nails and blowing on them.

And the first time he plays dress up with them, he knows this is all he's ever wanted in life. He fills truly fulfilled - Having his dream career with his best friends, being married to an amazing woman and having three beautiful daughters with her...

#skz x reader #skz imagine #stray kids x reader #felix x reader #skz fluff #lee Felix imagine #bboki gets to 1k!!

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bittyfromquotev · 1 day

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Mob/Mafia AU 👀

OKOKOK so there are 2 versions of this, but the basic idea is that me and a couple of IRL friends just kinda came up with this one day.

Normal Version: Smol Bean’s character is the leader of the mafia, with Veek and my characters being like second in command or something. Idk what Veek’s role is, but my character goes to get information. This results in her having to date then marry some guy from a rival mafia. They do love each other but she had to keep her secret. Also my brother has a character in it and I made up lore that my mom was a gangster in this AU (the story behind this is funny).

1920’s Version: Everything is mostly the same, except it takes place in the 1920’s and instead of all being part of ONE mafia, the three of us are in separate ones, but they are allied because the leaders are besties and we’re married to them :)

#q is dead #from the bitty jar #au #oc #mob au #mafia au #1920s

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rememberwren · 5 hours

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A Dichotomy of Thought || 10

Prior and future chapters here.

A visitor in the park.

CW: domestic violence, rape, ableist language, homophobic slurs (f-word), internalized ableism, suicidal ideation.

It seems cruel that such terrible things must happen at moments when you are your happiest. There’s logic in it, sure—there can be no joy without pain, and happiness is bracketed on either side by sadness—but logic and cruelty don’t have to live apart from each other. In fact, you would often say they are married.

Your boyfriend stands over you, blotting out the sun like a raincloud come to pour down on the briefest moment of peace you have felt in the last several days. Everything about him is innocuous: his clothes, his posture, hands shoved deep into his pockets as he stares down at you with unspeakable fondness in his eyes.

“Hi honey,” he says. “How was work?”

Johnny goes to stand, but your boyfriend is quicker, banging his shin violently against Johnny’s knee. Johnny sucks in a breath as the pain winds him, body bowing over to protect his most vulnerable areas.

“Don’t stand on my account,” your boyfriend says to his crumpled figure. “Did I get the right knee? I did, didn’t I? I wasn’t sure if it was the right or the left—“

“Hey!” you bellow, the volume of your own voice surprising you. You stand between them, put both hands against your boyfriend’s chest, and push. He nearly goes sprawling on the sidewalk, only barely managing to get his feet under him in time. You point a shaking finger in his face. “You don’t fucking touch him!”

“An accident,” he laughs, lifting his hands. “I stumbled into him. It could have happened to anybody.”

“Yer a fucking cunt,” Johnny groans, both hands gripping his thigh above his knee, knuckles pale. “And so’s yer mother. Syphilis-infected-cocksucking bitch.”

“Not nice,” your boyfriend says mildly, shoving his hands back into his pocket. “Do you kiss my fiancé with that mouth?”

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about,” you hiss. All three of you quiet down as an older couple inches by, hand in weathered hand. When they are a safe distance away, you ask: “How did you know I was here? Were you following me?”

“I can’t reveal all my secrets,” he says, lowering his voice to a dangerous timber, one that promises violence. “The same way you’re not willing to give up all of yours. You thought I wouldn’t notice you coming home late all the time? Do I look stupid?”

Johnny makes a sound, some kind of wounded laugh that only serves to put you on edge even more. You can imagine his answer—but he doesn’t know your boyfriend. He doesn’t know the kind of grim, intelligent cruelty that is wielded against you every day. Johnny is hot headed and craving violence, but he’s in no condition to experience it.

You have to protect him.

“We can talk about it at home,” you mutter, making sure to keep between the two men who seem eager for each other’s blood. Your boyfriend tongues his cheek, eyeing Johnny, weighing his options.

“Come on,” you say, louder. Reaching out, you grip his arm, nails digging into his skin. He doesn’t even flinch. But after an endless moment of waiting for further provocation from Johnny, he decides Johnny isn’t worth his time. He laces his fingers in yours and pulls you along, further away from the bench, from Johnny, from the sunlight.

“Get in the car,” he says, walking to the driver’s side.

“You’re not supposed to drive.”

“I won’t say it again.”

He won’t, either. You know him. So instead you slip into the passenger seat. There’s no worse feeling than being in an enclosed space with him. The air feels heavy and oppressive, weighing you down. At the same time, your body buzzes with adrenalin, preparing for pain. You numbly buckle your seatbelt while he starts the car.

“How long have you been cheating on me with that cripple next door?” he asks calmly.

“I’m not.”

The calm snaps, nothing but a thin sheet of icy veneer over a deep, dark lake of fury.

“Don’t—lie—to—me,” he says through his teeth. He holds out a hand and wiggles his fingers. “Phone. Hand it over. You’ve lost your privileges.”

“I don’t have it,” you lie. “It’s at work.”

“You really do,” he says, staring at you with borderline awe. “You think I’m a fucking idiot, don’t you? Oh, baby. Oh, honey. You’re in for it. How do you think I fucking found you? Give me the goddamn phone.”

You shake your head. You can’t give it up. Not when it’s the only safe way for Simon to contact you.

He reaches for your hand. The two of you struggle as you try to avoid his touch, briefly banging your knuckles on the car window, but then he has your hand in his grasp, and he takes your smallest finger and wrenches it back, back—you feel the pop, pain lancing through your hand all the way to your wrist.

You screech.

“Give me the phone,” he says, letting you cradle the misshapen hand against your breast. You grit your teeth, tears dripping off your chin. When he reaches for your hand again, you break and turn out your pockets, handing over your last lifeline. He takes the phone and beats it against the dashboard, again and again and again until the screen is a spider’s web of cracks, glass littering your knees.

He hands you back the broken phone.

“You broke my fucking finger,” you cry, voice warbling embarrassingly.

“You broke your own finger by not listening to me the first time,” he says, tossing the phone in your lap when you don’t take it. He puts the car in reverse. “Don’t blame me for your mistakes, baby.”

The two of you spend five hours in the emergency room together. This is an integral part of the experience; when he hurts you, he has to heal you.

Your pinky isn’t broken, only dislocated. They set it and splint it and warn you that it could take months to feel normal again, like you know at all what that word means. Beneath the tinny lights of the exam room, your makeup job must be failing, because the nurse asks your boyfriend to step out so that she can ask you a few questions alone.

This isn’t your first time in the emergency room, and you know the rules. You stick to your story (the one he had stitched together on the drive to the ER) even without your boyfriend’s oppressive presence looming over your shoulder. The nurse gives you a look that is both professional and pitying. You spend the rest of the visit refusing to meet her eyes, chewing on the nails of your good hand.

“Could you be any more suspicious?” your boyfriend asks mildly while the two of you leave. He waves to one of the nurses, who gives back a cheerful little salute.

Making friends wherever he goes; that’s your boyfriend.

Walking into your apartment is like walking into another world.

Everything has been upended: the couch cushions, the silverware drawers, the chairs at the table. DVD’s have been removed from their boxes. Even the fucking lamps have had their lampshades removed. The bathroom and bedroom doors have been taken off their hinges and laid neatly against one another in the bedroom.

“You weren’t the only one busy today,” he says, relishing in your grim expression. “You know the drill. Clean up. Then we’ll go to bed.”

This is an old trick of his that you know well. He tore the place apart searching for contraband—but he knows that even he isn’t all-powerful. Now he waits to see where you will rush to clean up first, where your anxious mind will take you, desperate to find out if he’s found whatever you’ve been hiding. Once it was money. Another time, a business card for a lawyer.

This time, a lighter that’s not your own.

You’re smarter now, though. You don’t go straight for your sock drawer where the lighter is hidden. You begin at the northernmost point of the apartment and clean north to south, east to west, methodical, your hand throbbing as the anesthetic wears off.

It is deeply late by the time you make it to the bedroom to find your clothes strewn across the bed. Your eyes burn with exhaustion, body aching from a long day at work (and a longer day after work). You can’t help but think of Johnny as you clean, tucking clothes back into their drawers, putting clothes back on their hangers. Did he make it home safely? Did he finally message Simon? Did he try to walk home? Thinking about Johnny out alone in the dark makes your stomach turn unpleasantly.

Sock drawer now. Most of these are still in the dresser, though some have been pushed out into the floor in your boyfriend’s search for ammunition to use against you. You pick up the few outliers and stuff them back into the drawer.

No lighter.

It’s not there. You know even as you continue to search without hope, rifling through your paired socks as subtly as you can. This is all just another game. He’s found the lighter and has just been waiting for you to notice it’s gone so that he can torment you with it. Maybe he’ll flick the spark wheel (the way Johnny can’t—God, Johnny, please be okay—) and hold the flame to your skin or your hair—

You touch something hard, plastic. Your breath catches. It’s there. It’s still there, tucked inside a pair of socks. He hadn’t found it. Relief rises up in you so poignantly that tears fill your eyes, even as you force yourself to shut the drawer and move on to another part of the room, feeling your boyfriend’s presence at the door, watching.

The lighter was so little, but it meant so much. You couldn’t even put into words why. Because it was Johnny’s, maybe. Because it was yours, now. Because it was one thing your boyfriend hadn’t put his hands on and destroyed or claimed as his own. Nothing belonged to you—not your money, not your body, nothing. Except maybe that silly lighter.

You wait until after he fucks you to speak, stubbornly maintaining your silence even through the pain and humiliation he inflicts on you. There’s something even worse about the way he draws your body against his afterwards, an arm looped possessively over your waist, the imitation of a loving cuddle.

“I want to break up,” you say.

He gives a long-suffering sigh, breath rustling your hair. “Keep dreaming, baby.”

The words won’t stop tripping out of your mouth.

“I mean it. I hate you—and you hate me. All we do is fight and hurt each other. Why…” you get choked up, swallow past the lump in your throat. “We don’t have to do this anymore. You can’t possibly be happy. Is this really how you want to live the rest of your life? Tormenting me?”

He is quiet for longer than you expect. You hold your breath, tears dripping from your eyes and over the bridge of your nose, down into your pillowcase. Maybe he’s thinking about it. Maybe he’s really considering it.

At last, he says: “Don’t ever think that there’s anywhere else in the world…anything else I’d rather be, than right where I am.”

Your heart plummets.

“Now go to sleep,” he says, kissing your neck. “You work in the morning.”

The sun goes down before Simon finds him. Johnny sits shivering on the bench where you left him, his eyes red rimmed and unseeing even when he hears the familiar footsteps of his lover against the pavement.

Simon sits next to him where you once sat, and for a long time, neither of them speaks. When Johnny finally breaks the silence, his voice is rough from hours of crying and disuse.

“I brought her here,” he says.

Simon nods. He knows. Of course he knows.

“I think she liked it,” Johnny adds, trying to find any brightness in the dark that encompasses him.

But all at once the tears come back, his throat burning, head throbbing. He bends at the waist, elbow on his thigh, and shakes, trying to keep his crying quiet, still clinging to the remnants of a dignity that God tears more from his grasp every day. When Simon’s warm arm wraps around him, it just makes him cry harder, even as he leans into the heat of the other man like a flower bends toward the sun.

“I’m useless,” Johnny weeps. “Fuckin’ useless. He showed up and just—took her, and I couldn’t do a thing to stop him. Even you think I’m useless—druggin’ me to keep me from getting in your way. I can’t dress myself, can’t tie my own shoes. What fucking good am I, as a human being? What’s the good in being alive if I have to live like this?”

Simon says nothing. Johnny leans up, letting the moonlight wash over his tear-soaked face. He wipes at his cheeks.

“You can’t be happy, either,” he says, taking in the solemn lines of Simon’s face, the shadows under his eyes. Simon looks older than his age, and Johnny knows who is responsible, who has aged him. Terrified to know the answer, he asks: “Is this how you want to live? With an overgrown child as your lover? One who can’t remember where he took off his shoes? Who needs you to, to cut up his food and button his shirts?”

“If that’s how it’s going to be,” says Simon simply. “If that’s how I get to be with you. Then yeah, Johnny. I’m solid.”

Johnny shakes his head. He can’t even find the energy within him to be angry. All that’s left is disbelief. “You can’t mean that.”

“I mean it. I—“ Simon ducks his head. “—I never should have put those pills in your juice. I should have trusted you. I wish I could take that back.”

Johnny sniffs wetly. It’s as close to an apology as he’s ever heard Simon give, and it makes no small amount of guilt bloom in Johnny’s aching chest.

“You were right not to trust me,” says Johnny. “I was lying.”

“I know,” says Simon. He reaches down and laces his fingers with Johnny’s one hand. “But I want to be a man who trusts you, even if I’m wrong.”

Johnny is quiet for a long time, turning those words over in his head. A painful longing rises up in his chest, one he hasn’t felt since the days when he was still in the 141, days when he could barely breathe for wanting the man beside him so badly. When they’d had to love each other in secret, and it felt like he would happily have given anything if it meant they didn’t have to hide anymore.

I miss you, he thinks. I miss myself. Leaning in, he lays his cheek against Simon’s shoulder.

“Are we gonna make it?” he wonders quietly, watching the last of the fireflies twinkle around the dim park. Soon it will be too cold for them. Soon it will be too cold for Johnny.

“Whatever we do, we’ll do it together,” Simon promises, laying his temple against Johnny’s head.

He waits until you are asleep to creep out of the bed. There is no rest for him—not when he gets in these restless, paranoid moods. Not when he has a hunch to follow.

Quietly, he drifts through the apartment like a ghost. Everything is back in its place, but he tries to think of anywhere he might have missed to search. You are hiding something; he knows it. He knows you. You’re see-through to him, predictable in a way that used to thrill him but now just irritates.

“Where is it?” he mutters, standing in the living room, turning a slow circle.

Was the lighter really all you’d been hiding? That stupid piece of plastic and metal? He’d found it easily and decided it served him better left in its place. Let you think that he had missed it. Let you think that he was slipping.

“I’m sharper than ever, baby,” he mutters to himself in the darkness.

Halfheartedly, he searches a few places that he had already gone through: checking some of the mugs on the top shelf in the kitchen, feeling beneath the table in the foyer for anything taped beneath it.

He thinks about the cripple next door while he does it. Johnny. A problem, if he’s ever seen one. Him and his boyfriend both. What two faggots want with you, he can’t imagine—good Samaritans, perhaps? Well they would find out in good time what happened to people who put their noses where they didn’t belong.

Regardless, he doesn’t like it. It leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

Sighing, he braces his hands against the table, resting his weight against it. If he’d known that this building would cause so much trouble, he never would have moved you in here. Not that the two of you had been swimming in options.

Your keys on the table catch his eye, but he doesn’t know why. He nudges them with his hand, metal dragging over the wood. On a whim, he counts them.

There is an extra key.

His brows lift. He picks up the keys and goes through them one by one, wracking his brain to remember what each one is for. At last he’s left with a single unfamiliar key. One that looks identical to the key to their apartment. A duplicate? he wonders. For when she’s locked out?

But no, the keys are different. Just similar.

An idea tickles at the back of his brain, but he’s never been the kind of man to ignore his instincts. He goes to the door without bothering to slip on his shoes, and steps silently out into the hallway. At this time of night, there is no one out and about, no one peeking at him from their doors. On silent feet, he pads to his neighbor’s door and grips the knob. Locked.

He slips the key into the lock—and it opens.

Oh that little bitch. Fury rises up in him until he can taste it in the back of his throat. He wants to go and wake you, take a fistful of your hair and drag you out into the hallway for all your nosy neighbors to see, wants to hear that shriek of pain you give when he hurts you so unexpectedly—

But no. He has to be smart.

He locks 5C’s door again, checks the handle, then slips back into his apartment. There will be no rest for him tonight. Not when there is so much to think about.

#ghoap x reader #dichotomy of thought

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notjustjavierpena · 2 days

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can you write something silly with hubby? just a drabble is fine 🤗 i loooved them in lovey-dovey!

Honey (Drabble)

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: I'm silly and inspired by a tiktok trend.

Summary: Javier Peña, husband and honey connoisseur.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)

Tags: Fluff, love and kisses!

Word count: 744

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52937182/chapters/137384134

Honey

Javier opens a window to let out some of the warm air caused by the oven being on. He has placed Inés on the counter, watching her closely as she dangles her legs in the air. He is leaning against the edge of the kitchen table beside her while you cook dinner. You’re making a marinade for wings, mixing a few things together that you need to use now before they surpass their expiration date.

It gives you an opportunity to use the tub of honey that you bought at the town square market a few months ago. As it looks now, you’ve only used it for your tea and some warm milk for Lucas’ sore throat a few weeks ago. So when you pull it out of the cabinet and start spooning the thick golden substance into the mixing bowl, Javier raises a brow.

“That honey’s fake, mi amor (my love),” he says casually but you know better, looking up to find the familiar mischievous glint in his eyes that he thinks he is so talented at hiding.

“Oh, here we go,” you suppress a roll of your eyes, but you cannot control the fond grin that you have on your face, “You a honey expert now, sheriff?”

“Papá?” Inés pipes up from beside the both of you. She reaches out for him, tugging on his shirt to get his attention, “What’s fake?”

“Fake means not real, mija (my daughter). Like this honey,” Javier explains and scoops up his daughter, settling her on his hip and reaching into the drawer with cutlery. He gets out a spoon to let her taste it. She grabs the spoon from him as he guides it into her mouth.

“But it’s yummy!” She exclaims excitedly at the sweetness that you usually find overwhelming.

“See? Inés likes it,” you tease him.

“Betrayal of the highest order,” he says theatrically to make his toddler giggle, grabbing the spoon from her again before she hugs him close. She rests her head on his shoulder.

“You’re silly,” she lets him know.

“Mamá’s silly for thinking this is honey,” he continues and you narrow your eyes, pausing mid-stir and giving him a look that tells him to elaborate. He blows a raspberry on Inés’ cheek, “I’ve spent my fair share of time around real honey and it doesn’t look like that. It looks like Mamá.”

“Mamá’s honey!” Inés connects the dots even if she isn’t aware of the joke.

It takes half a second for you to burst into happy laughter at his stupid line. You wipe your hands in your apron, only slightly flustered at the charming line that he has just thrown your way. You finally roll your eyes, looking exasperated, “You’re an idiot.”

“Yet I was clever enough to land myself the sweetest thing in this life,” he charms and grins, takes a step toward you, his free arm sliding around your waist, “And let’s not forget that you’re the one who married me.”

“Clearly,” you stress with a fond smile and move in closer to the two of them, Inés’ eyes lighting up at having your attention, “My judgment is questionable.”

Javier sneaks himself a kiss, a warm and lingering touch of your lips, the kind that says those three little words without making a sound. When you finally pull back, his smirk has softened into something more affectionate, his forehead resting against yours.

“See? Real honey,” he whispers.

“Ew!” Inés squeaks but it seems more out of jealousy.

“You’re full of it,” you tell him while planting a few kisses on Inés’ cheek, letting her know she isn’t forgotten. She reaches out for you but you can’t take her with your hands full, so instead she starts squirming to be let down.

“Nooo, Papá!” She giggles, her laughter filling the kitchen as he pretends to fumble with the task for a moment, starting his usual routine of pretending to put her down headfirst which always causes her to squeal and kick her legs.

“Alright, alright,” he finally says, giving in and planting her on her feet properly. She runs off into the living room, you realize, after a whole spoonful of sugary honey.

Javier doesn’t seem bothered, instead turns back to you with the playful grin never leaving his face. He winks, finally having you to himself, “Worked though, didn’t it?”

You shake your head, laughing softly as he envelops you in his arms, “It always does.”

If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

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siriuslyobsessedwithfiction · 21 hours

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Alina Starkov - the most inconsistent main character. A tragedy of not wanting to have an identity.

The main character in Shadow and Bone trilogy, a prime example of "she deserved better". A.k.a. soldier, Sun Summoner, Sun Saint. In reality, a false saint and a false hero, who has less personality, goals, spine and consistency than her three love interests. How did this happen? Short answer - bad writing. Long answer? Here we go.

Her character at the beginning - a blank slate.

Physically small and weak, sickly, fragile, with a sour face and sourer attitude. Grew up in an orphanage funded by a Duke, who they were taught to basically worship while looking down on religion and beliefs in saints. Children in the orphanage were beaten if they misbehaved or didn't do chores, but were given education and fine food, which means they were faring better than peasants and farmers. Alina had not many, but several options in her life. She could learn a trade that would not require physical labour, like sewing. Or, she could marry and hope her husband was gracious enough to buy a donkey instead of making her carry heavy sacks of salt on her back, as we see a random man do to his wife. But Alina had no hobbies, interests, aspirations or ambitions in her life. Except her childhood friend Mal. Mal gets a mandatory draft in the First Army, and of course Alina follows, and settles for being a mediocre cartographer. Mal thrives in the army, showing off muscles and hooking up with women, while Alina dutifully waits for him saints know why. She doesn't have other genuine friends, she doesn't like people, she doesn't like anything. This is not a bad start in a sense that there is much room for growth and improvement.

Refusing to belong

Alina discovers she's a long awaited sun summoner, who can vanquish the Fold and unite Ravka. She doesn't want to be special, but not for the reasons you might think. Instead of fearing the burden of such an important task or genuinely becoming paranoid of being assassinated (she gets over those in five minutes), she just...doesn't want the responsibility of actually being useful for something. She'd rather not have powers at all, and go back to being in a constantly sickly state. She'd rather be tailing Mal like a mouse. Which doesn't make any sense for following reasons:

Alina's insecurities in SaB:

Not being pretty and talented

2. Not being as pretty and talented as Grisha

3. Being an orphan, being unwanted.

Being a Grisha actually solves all those problems for her. She gets prettier and healthier once she stops repressing her powers, has a unique cool power, and a community that cares for her. Plus, the support from important figures in Ravka. In time, she could have a family.

Instead, she refuses to acknowledge she's one of them, doesn't train properly, preferring to cling to her prejudices and make digs at Grisha. She'd rather complain that they're prettier, confident and pampered than acknowledge they are serfs, nothing but glorified servants with no basic human rights. Instead of her superstitions and prejudices being shattered when she starts living with them and realizing what Grisha have to go through, becoming rightfully enraged that her people are being treated this way, she still doesn't feel any empathy. In fact, she still doesn't see the General as a HUMAN BEING WHO MIGHT HAVE FEELINGS, even though he makes time in his busy schedule of running an army to make sure she's comfortable, jokes along with her, listens to her fears and reassures her, etc. Why would he go through the trouble if he was heartless? He's the General of the Second Army, by the King's law, she's his soldier. She is obligated to obey him regardless.

The narrative supports her delusions.

I get missing her friend, I get struggling to adjust, but it's more than that. Alina is getting dragged along from a plot point to a plot point kicking and screaming, as if she has anything better to do. She doesn't have a life, why is she so against of getting one? Once she finally somewhat adjusts to her life in the Little Palace, it turns out Darkling has had malicious intents towards her powers all along! Aha, you were right to be prejudiced, Alina! Now abandon your people, your country, and run!

“He … he said that Darklings are born without souls. That only something truly evil could have created the Shadow Fold.”

Imagine telling a person who saved your life that he was a soulless abomination, even though you do not know him, and he is still kind to you and reveals as much about him as he can. There is no grooming and manipulation here, it's just called not being a bitch. Darkling tells Alina he's over 120 years old, Alina is an adult, and the damned kiss was consensual. Of course he didn't tell her everything. Even regular people don't reveal their life-long ambitions and deepest childhood trauma to their crush after several conversations. It took Alina months to stop being in denial about being a Grisha, still didn't like being one, you're telling me if Darkling set her down and explained the complex political situation and his plan to overthrow the corrupt monarchy and bring an end to the war, Alina wouldn't jump out of the window?

Alina running away, not confronting the problem, and straight up deciding Darkling was evil incarnate with no evidence snowballed into Darkling deciding she couldn't be trusted and taking more drastic measures. Liberation of his people was on the line and one pesky girl screwed up a carefully planned coup because she couldn't handle her feelings.

False badassery

Throughout the whole three books, every time Alina makes a decision, it's immediately followed by self-doubt, shame and scorn. But no actual objective criticism. We often see variations of "It was foolish, but I didn't care", "I knew it was reckless but I couldn't bring myself to care", but never her actually analyzing why, or deciding not to do something like that again. Her small victories are immediately followed by thoughts on how would others feel about it, even though the person in question isn't even there and couldn't give less of a shit: "Never is it to be said that Ana Kuya didn't teach us manners", "A cheap trick, but a good one. Nikolai would be proud". Ana Kuya was an abusive mother figure, Nikolai was using Alina's status to get the throne. Sure, it's good that Alina is capable of learning useful things from every kinds of people, but she doesn't think "That was smart of me. I learnt that. I'm proud of myself for an accomplishment". She thinks "Is it good? Would they like it? They like things like that, right?". She attaches herself to people that fit her view of "deserving" and helps them, even though it might not be for the best. Extreme lack of self-worth, combined with entitlement.

When Alina hears a rumour Darkling ordered his heartrenders to sew a traitor's mouth shut, she's horrified. Even though that's hardly the worst punishment for a traitor in an army. But when some pilgrims insult Genya, she orders to have their tongues cut out after they're given only one warning. When Alina commits violence at slightest provocation, it's baddass. But when Darkling commits a controlled necessary military act to stop enemies from overrunning the country, it's madness and is falsely labeled genocide. Look up the definition, genocide is what was happening to Grisha.

The Darkling never kidnapped children and put them in the war zone. He only lied to Alina that he did, a clever strategy with no bloodshed. Meanwhile, Alina let her cult fight for her, whose members were brainwashed children, some only twelve years old.

When Alina faces a dilemma or a tense military situation, her go-to strategy is suicide. That is not martyrdom, nor it is badass.

Darkling became a bad person out of good intentions and desperation, Alina is just a bad selfish person.

Desperate people are the ones capable of the worst acts. Darkling didn't go nearly as crazy as he could, and frankly had a right to on behalf of his people.

"Aleksander had marched south with the king’s soldiers, and when they’d faced the Shu in the field, he’d unleashed darkness upon their opponents, blinding them where they stood. Ravka’s forces had won the day. But when Yevgeni had offered Aleksander his reward, he had refused the king’s gold. “There are others like me, Grisha, living in hiding. Give me leave to offer them sanctuary here and I will build you an army the likes of which the world has never seen.”

It doesn't matter how much genocide, prejudice, abuse and dehumanization the Grisha suffered through for centuries all around the world, Alina never bothers to look at the big picture. Her help is only for those who she deems worthy of it.

She attaches herself to people who fit her narrow-minded view of "worthy". She immediately believes Baghra's rather flimsy expose of Darkling, even though the old woman has been nothing but unhelpful to her, only insulting her and beating her. But Alina associates her with her only mother figure, Ana Kuya, another old hag she had a toxic relationship with. And even though Baghra is an immensely powerful Grisha who refuses to help or even lift a finger, or just spit out vital information, Alina coddles her and provides protection. Instead of telling her to fess up the useful information and save her unhelpful comments, Alina looks up to her as a mentor.

When Genya tells her story, Alina feels bad for her, but not bad enough to see things her perspective. She only becomes protective of Genya once she gets mutilated, out of pity. If it was genuine compassion, she would've forgiven and understood her from the start.

Every Grisha has been hunted and shamed for merely existing, almost every Grisha has lost a loved one to war. But Alina pointedly ignores it, because she doesn't personally know and care for those people. Therefore, she doesn't feel empathetic. Because if she feels empathetic, she might start feeling guilty about how she runs away from her responsibilities at every given opportunity. Just look at this passage:

“You know what he plans to do, Ivan.” “He plans to bring us peace.” “At what price?” I asked desperately. “You know this is madness.” “Did you know I had two brothers?” Ivan asked abruptly. The familiar smirk was gone from his handsome face. “Of course not. They weren’t born Grisha. They were soldiers, and they both died fighting the King’s wars. So did my father. So did my uncle.” “I’m sorry.” “Yes, everyone is sorry. The King is sorry. The Queen is sorry. I’m sorry. But only the Darkling will do something about it.”

The Darkling never wanted power for selfish reasons. He didn't want to take over other countries or lift Grisha above regular people. He wanted his kind to have basic human rights. Centuries of diplomacy and servitude only gave him enough power to make a school for Grisha children and save adults from slavery and getting slaughtered by serving nobles. He wanted to use the Fold as a border, to stop enemies from invading whenever they pleased, so he would have the time to save Ravka from collapsing. What has Alina done? Started a civil war, destroyed the Second army and helped put a morally dubious man with no claim on the throne to continue an outdated absolute monarchy tradition.

Alina Starkov was meant to be the sun, but turned out to be a trick of the light.

Every time it felt like Alina was emerging from her cocoon as a beautiful butterfly, embracing her true self, she went back to the toxic situationship and the toxic mindset. The narrative also always struck her down. Every book begins and ends with her being sickly, fragile, missing an essential part of herself. It would be good if it was written differently and showed themes of being disabled or having a chronic illness accurately, but it's not. It started out well. Alina was removed from an abusive environment, found a purpose in life, started loving her newfound powers, outgrew the stupid crush who she was way too dependent on, but it all went downhill from there. And then some. This constant vicious cycle does not fit the theme of growth and improvement, and neither does the ending, where Alina loses her powers and goes back to the orphanage. Once again, she's frail and strange, servants (who she now employs) don't respect her, sneer and make fun of her, while her now husband Mal turns a blind eye. Everything is back to the way it was: Mal thrives, Alina is...there. The ending is supposed to be bittersweet, a couple who survived a war building a new life together, but I don't see the sweet part.

Trick of the light - definition: something appearing different from what actually is as a result of the quality of light.

Darkling wanted her to be a strong Grisha, his equal and balance. Grisha wanted her to be a capable leader, Bataar twins wanted a living saint they could worship, Nikolai wanted a wife interested in Ravka and politics. Alina tried to be all of that, but never really wanted to be any of those, so she half-assed it. Mal wanted the version of Alina who was small and insignificant, because anything more made him insecure, and he got his wish.

Illusion, mirage, spectre.

No matter how much the author tries to tell us that Alina's every problem is Darkling's fault, her thought process and actions paint a different picture. Alina was never mentally healthy and she never addressed or resolved her problems. Growing up in a controlled and abusive environment affected her more than anyone, including herself, wants to admit. I am not a licensed psychiatrist, so I will refrain from officially diagnosing Alina, even though she's a fictional character. I am NOT saying I know for certain that Alina has these, if any, mental problems, but she does have some alarming symptoms. It seems like depersonalization. While her symptoms don't fit into one particular mental disorder, I am reminded of psychiatric infantilism, but it is not a mental illness with symptoms. Psychiatric infantilism doesn't necessarily mean the person acts outwardly childishly. To explain very roughly and simply, it means the psych is not as developed as it should be (even if the person is very smart and clever). It shows in avoiding responsibility or not feeling it at all, problems with social connections, not seeing the big picture and taking it seriously, etc. When Harshaw tells the story of his brother getting brutally murdered by people who hate Grisha, even brash Zoya is appalled and expresses her condolences. While all Alina thinks about is that Harshaw might base his hope of having a better life on her now.

Alina also might have Dependent Personality Disorder, but it's hard to say, since we are never shown her being on her own long enough to see whether or not she can take actually care of herself. But her relationship with Mal, Darkling and Baghra (after she no longer objectively needs them) is weird, to say the least.

She never gains the sense of self or an identity, she refuses to become something, then delivers an inner monologue of accepting her fate and five minutes later goes back on her words. Her willingness to sacrifice her life is never out of thinking of the greater good and future, justice, or patriotism. She just doesn't want to live, especially without Mal, who has been doing nothing but shitting on her. Her titles are slapped on her, and she peels them off. Her personality never really changes. Everything she went through feels like a really bad exchange program she was in for a year, and from which she has learnt nothing.

P.S. I don't hate Alina's character, I just mourn her lost potential.

If you have made it to the end, I salute you, congratulations and thank you. 😊 🙏 ❤️

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nekohime19 · 2 days

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Neko Shadowpeach Au Guide!

I have so many Shadowpeach Au I can't even 😭

This post is mainly for me to organize myself bc I'm beginning to have a lot of ideas for Au, and a lot of Au in general and I need to write that somewhere or I'm gonna get lost.

But also it's to let you guys know about future Au I would probably write and see if you like them.

Of course if you guys have any questions about any of my Au's, even the unpublished one, feel free to ask.

alright here we go :

Published

Monkeys silly love life :

Summary : Macaque never met the great sage, nor the brotherhood, he simply lived like a hermit until his lantern was stolen by a thrall. He finds himself coming to Megapolis in search of his lantern, there he meets MK, his friends and one particularly insistent golden-furred monkey who seems keen on flirting with him despite the Lady Bone Demon taking over the world.

Fic : series of three fic on Ao3

Who said you can't flirt in an apocalypse?

Monkeys discovering the wide world of dating.

I know the world is ending but will you marry me?

Status : all fics completed

Vibe : fluff and humor

Heart behind the lie :

Summary : Sun Wukong's mind is severely damaged by the Lady Bone Demon's possession, leading him to act like a beast. Macaque being the only person he trusts in this state, he is designated as his babysitter. Macaque refuses at first but then finds himself needing magic to survive and decides to accept being a babysitter to better steal Sun Wukong's magic. He might became more attached than he planned for.

Fic : fic on Ao3 + being published on Tumblr with two chapters a day

Status : uncompleted

Vibe : emotional angst, feels and fluff

Publishing day : At least once a week

Mini Mac :

Summary : One day Sun Wukong discovers that a little black-furred monkey had been living in the walls of his stone mansion and decides to befriend him. Problem is, the little black-furred beauty is not keen on deepening his relationship with him, thus the sage has to gain his trust first.

Fic : one fic on Tumblr and Ao3

Status : uncompleted

Vibe : fluff, humor and very light angst

Publishing day : Two to three chapters a week

Bimawen :

Summary : What if Heaven actually gave weight to the title of Bimawen and treated Sun Wukong with respect, even if reluctant? Sun Wukong would have never gone on a rampage and quietly taken care of the horses. Years after Sun Wukong has taken his horsley duties Heaven found another celestial monkey, the Six-eared Macaque causing mayhem in the mortal world. The macaque is judged and if he wants to avoid his execution, he has to become the bimawen's assistant. The problem is the monkeys don't really like each other.

Fic : one on Ao3 and Tumblr

Status : uncompleted

Vibe : fluff, humor and feels / JTTW oriented

Publishing day : Once to twice a month (often more bc I'm inspired)

Share my glow (co-writing with Pen-Women)

Summary : Macaque never met Wukong in his life. He is known as the Shadow Weaver, a mysterious entity who guides the one lost in the night. His lantern is the last artifact LBD needs to complete her mech and take over the world. When his forest is frozen by the Thrall he has no choice but to follow a troublesome team of heroes with a particularly flirty Monkey King.

Fic : one in Ao3

Status : uncompleted

Vibe : fluff and angst / ABO

Publishing day : Once a week (every Sunday)

Unpublished

So here is are my ideas for different Au's! Of course, bc those are still ideas in working, summaries might change a lil bit when I actually write them. Idk if I'll write them all though. They're classed from the one I want to write the most after I'm finished with Heart behind the lie and Mini Mac to ideas in passing.

1) Love Addicts :

Summary : Macaque and Sun Wukong find themselves feeling miserable after season 5. MK lost his powers when he jumped in the pillar, and both monkeys can't help but feel guilty. Sun Wukong then stumbles upon an odd door in his treasure trove and discovers the existence of a bar selling love potions. Despite hating each other, both monkeys decides to drink one potion to recover some sort of happiness, letting themselves be in love for one week. They take another one after the end of this first week and soon become addicted to the taste of love, even if this love is fake.

Fic : will be on Ao3 (debating if I'm gonna add it to Tumblr)

Status : unwritten / I'm planning this one after Heart behind the lie

Vibe : angst, fluff and feel, smut

Die-Hard fan :

Summary : Sun Wukong took the throne of the Jade Emperor after the attack on Heavens orchestrated by the brotherhood. While at first were glad to be free of Heaven's corruption they soon began to fear the whims of their new ruler. Sun Wukong is a beast of pleasure who does nothing but indulges his needs, either in food or treasures, and kills those who doesn't agree with him. One day, he stumbles upon the most famous entertainer of the mortal world, the Six-eared Macaque, and became a die-hard fan. Now determined to be someone Macaque would like, Sun Wukong has to change all his ways and learns to be a good King.

Fic : will be on Ao3 and Tumblr

Status : unwritten / Planning this after Mini Mac

Vibe : fluff and humor

Monkey Cop Mania :

Summary : Both monkeys find themselves being transported to a movie-like dimension in which Sun Wukong is the insanely famous Monkey Cop and Macaque a world-wide known thief accused of murder. If they want to get back to their own dimension, they have to solve a murder and finish the movie's scenario. Problem is neither mystic monkeys turn out to be great detectives.

Fic : unwritten / will be on Ao3

Status : unwritten

Vibe : Humor and feels

Once upon a monkey

Summary : various long one shots of shadowpeach being in different fairy tales.

How to bewitch the witch : Wukong is the prince of the Sun Kingdom and falls in love with the cruel sea witch, Macaque, while said witch was destroying his wedding with the mermaid prince, Azure. Once Azure returns to his kingdom and their wedding falls void, Wukong does everything in his power to court Macaque. Turns out, courting a sea witch is quite difficult.

The strongest of them all : Macaque is a magic mirror with the ability to hear past, present and future terribly in love with his owner, the King Sun Wukong. One day Sun Wukong learns that he's not the strongest anymore, but that he's step-son, MK, is. Macaque, after listening to the future, fears for his King and tries to better the relationship between MK and Wukong.

Fighting Beauty : Macaque is prince Sun Wukong personal guard, in charge of guarding him until his betrothed comes to rescue him from the sleeping spell casted upon him. Things get awkward when Macaque awakens Sun Wukong on his first night on duty. Sun Wukong, impatient as ever, decides to slay the dragon himself and not wait on his betrothed, Macaque is dragged in the quest despite himself.

Midnight Illusion : Macaque is at day the mistreated step-son of the Lady Bone Demon, and at night the leader of the most fearsome thieves of the Sun Kingdom. He's unfortunately caught by the royal guard in the middle of a thievery. He's given two choices by the Sun King himself : either spend the rest of his life in prison, or spy on his own step-mother while also pretending to be the Sun King betrothed. Naturally, he chose the second option.

The Mage and the Monkey : Sun Wukong is cursed by the wandering mage, Macaque, after refusing to give him shelter on a stormy night. He's now the Monkey King, and he'll stay in this beastly form as long as he cannot find true love, according to the Mage, at least. But Sun Wukong is not one to stay idle, he finds the Mage huts after a lot of searching, and bugs him everyday to undo the curse. Macaque is tempted to accept, only because Sun Wukong is getting annoying.

Fic : unwritten / will be on Ao3

Status : unwritten / rough ideas really

Vibe : Humor and fluff and angst

Narcissist :

Summary : Sun Wukong was lonely. He felt like there was a wedge between him and the world, that no-one could ever understand him. Even his successor couldn't hope to breach his shell. Pushed by his loneliness, Wukong stole a forbidden book from the gods with the vilest spells written in it and bring his shadow to life.

Fic : unwritten / will be on Ao3

Status : unwritten / very rough idea

Vibe : angst, fluff and horror (Mac being an eldritch horror)

I'll add Au's to this guide if I have any more that I think of, but that's all for now.

#shadowpeach #Au Guide #six eared macaque #lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid sun wukong #Sun wukong #lmk #shadowpeach fanfic #jttw

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koolades-world · 5 hours

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So, request for the Obey me boys (main and side). When I'm emotionally stressed or overwhelmed, I get the urge to clean (especially if my space has been needing it). So, how would they react to an MC spontaniously cleaning anything and everything in that sort of state (Dishes, Floors, surfaces, their own room, etc)?

hi! sure thing!

i relate to this on such a deep level. it's when i get my best cleaning done LOL. having a crisis? suddenly the room is the best it's looked in months

posting this instead of spellbound because getting my car took much longer than I expected. spellbound will be tomorrow for sure :)

enjoy <3

Mc who spontaneously cleans

Lucifer

he may just have to marry you on the spot

his brothers aren’t exactly the cleanest bunch and sometimes he feels like he’s the only one making an effort

he might cry if he comes downstairs one morning and the kitchen is sparkling

Mammon

if he’s not the messiest bitch ever… no shade but there’s no way his room doesn’t look like it was hit by a tornado

however if he ever sees you cleaning he'll try his best to help

he will also try his best to keep things tidy to make it less work for you <3

Levi

I can’t explain it but something about him screams neat freak to me

but, this only applies to his spaces because it would be too much work

he applauded your efforts because more than once he’s cracked and just deep cleaned everything haha

Satan

he’s clean when he wants to be

and most of the time, he is. the only times he isn’t is to piss off lucifer even though he’s just going to drag him back to do it anyways

after seeing how hard you work, he never does that again haha. he would hate for you to have to pick up after him

Asmo

somehow clean but messy at the same time

he won't stop you if you want to go to town cleaning up his makeup pallets and what not

afterwards though he makes sure to treat you <3

Beel

definitely the guy that takes three plus showers a day lol

he always asks you to make sure he's picking up after himself though just in case

he appreciates you and everything you do :)

Belphie

if you think he's tidy, i am so sorry you are wrong haha

will complain about an area being dirty and then proceed to ask why you were cleaning it up

however he will thank you every time he notices you've tidied up :)

Diavolo

despite the fact that he has a whole team that cleans for him, he hates to leave behind a mess

so, he always insists you get him when you get the urge to clean

everything is better when you have someone by your side! besides, he'll take any excuse to be by your side

Barbatos

you know him, he’s incredibly tidy to the point that it’s almost impossible to find a mess in the demon lord’s palace

but in the rare cause you’ve beat him to it, he’s grateful since it’s rare he gets help

afterward, you’ll be having tea together, his treat

Simeon

he also seems like his things are always clean no matter what

it's almost like he's magic at the rate at which messes vanish

he will feel bad if he sees you cleaning, and will take over

Luke

both of his dads (simebarb sorry for kinda sneaking this narrative in here lol) are both neat people, so it only makes sense for him to be too

after all, he wants to be just like them!

if he catches you cleaning, he will instantly join in

Solomon

he seems like he would live realistically, not too dirty, but also not too clean

if things are a little cluttered, he's alright with it because it looks lived in

if you do spontaneously clean, he'll try his best to make it up to you with his cooking!!

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echantedtoon · 1 day

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Still Not Over You

Xmas Gift for @lavenderdropp I know it's really early but I have so many projects planned for the next three months that I have to get these done early.

Kimetsu Gauken Kokushibo x Reader x Sanemi

*You didn't exactly know how or why it happened but somehow you ended up getting divorced within a year and a half of you both getting married.

*You both met in highschool and had hit it off immediately. Dating ever since you both were fourteen and upon graduation got married at eighteen. It seemed perfectly natural to do at the time. You both were madly in love with each other, and you got along with his entire family. So imagine your surprise when he asked you for a divorce almost two years into your marriage.

*It was heartbreaking and came out of no where but no matter how much you cried or how much you asked why, he refused to elaborate on why insisting you both just sign the papers he brought with him and be amicable about this.

*What he hadn't told you was that he was forced to divorce you by nature of the dangers of his job. Working as a spy and secretary for Muzan meant lots of enemies surrounding the corrupt politician trying to take over Japan. I'm order to protect you, he had to divorce you and he it hurt him just as much as you.

*He made sure to leave you everything he could in the divorce. The house, car, and most of his money was handed over as compensation as he moved out to begin his new profession and new life. He later hears that you had sold the house you both used to share and moved away. He's heartbroken but not surprised really. He only hopes that in time you'll forgive him.

*Three years passed. He's now working as Muzan's personal secretary and security. He hasn't seen you in forever. The last he heard, you had graduated from college and was looking for a job. So he really wasn't expecting you to show up at a meeting between Muzan and his cousin Kagaya. Both of them brought their secretaries to take notes during the meeting.

*He was shocked to see you there and vice versa staring at each other.. before you remained professional and just kept your focus on the meeting. Seeing you there was whiplash enough but seeing you working for Kagaya? A feeling of hurt and betrayal festered in his heart. He makes sure to ask Nakime about you , and she reveals that you're her secretary and was Hired by Kagaya about three years ago now.

*Heart pounding he tries to contact you again. Getting your number from Nakime but finding out he's blocked on there and your other social medias. He understands that you don't want to see him but he can't help himself. He ends up taking a day off and waiting for you to leave. Well he spots you and surprises you by blocking your way and stopping you

*You immediately get angry. The calm conversation he tries to have devolving into an argument with you yelling at him. The yelling attracts looks and the attention of a white haired man around the corner. "Oi, Y/n! This asshole bothering you?"

*The man who came around the corner was Sanemi, the school's math teacher.. Kokushibo recognized him from the information Nakime gave him. However what he wasn't expecting was for the smaller man to come up to you and wrap an arm around your waist in a protective stance. "Is this guy bothering you, Honey?"

*HONEY?! WHAT?! "What?" "This is my boyfriend. We've been dating for two years." It turns out once you started working for Kagaya, Sanemi fell for yoh at first sight. You were just so kind, sweet, and treated him with respect. He wasn't used to it

*You both became quick friends however you weren't ready for another relationship yet which he respected. You hadn't really met a man like Sanemi before. Despite his outward appearance and generally brashness, he was actually a super sweet guy who loved kids and respected women. You saw that in the way he treated the lady staff and how passionate he was about teaching.

*You were slowly getting over your heartbreak of Kokushibo and fell more and more and MORE for Sanemi who didn't look down on you for being a divorced woman. He treated you no differently than everyone else. You finally agreed to go on a lunch date with him and you two have been together ever since

*SANEMI quickly put two and two together for who Kokushibo was and he was not having it. He's grip tightened up on you, viens popped up along his body, and the urge to just pummel the taller man in front of him was high but he restrained himself. He didn't want to make a scene in front of you and the kids.

*Kokushibo is deadly calm but he's restraining himself as well because his fists are shaking as he stares at Sanemi. Eventually it ends when you grab Sanemi's arm and start pulling him away after sending your ex a glare. "He's not worth it, Nemi. Good bye, Michikatsu. Don't try contacting me again."

*His heart breaks in two seeing you cling on the arm of another man, fists tightening before he leaves. You best bet that this wasn't over because both men aren't willing to give you up so easily.

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puppetwoman17 · 4 hours

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I never get over the part in almost every Captain Marvel identity reveal fic where Barry or some other hero(buts it’s usually Barry) is so horrified because he asked Cap to do something not child-rated(or did something not child-rated.

Examples include:

Playing the fuck, marry, kill game

Asking to go out for drinks

Asking about relationships

Smacking Cap’s ass and making several sexual innuendos(a fic without an identity reveal, also it was Hal)

Almost kissed him during a game of truth or dare(a fic without an identity reveal, it was Dinah,)

Just—like even if they only did one thing from this list or something else I’m not remembering, just imagine the embarrassment they would feel. And Billy would be so chill about it because it happened, like, three years ago and it’s something he was creeped out about in the moment, but he laughs thinking about it now.

He’s all “oh it’s fine! None of you knew my age, so I can’t fault you for talking about things that adults regularly talk about!”

And they all feel so bad because he’s such an understanding kid and it’s kinda freaking them out😧

#billy batson #captain marvel #shazam #dc universe #justice league #barry allen #hal jordan #dinah lance #ao3 #fanfiction #awkward

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creatingblackcharacters · 2 days

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Favourite characters: Guinevere (aka Gwen) and Elyan from BBC Merlin.

They're brother and sister, children of a blacksmith, Tom, who is killed by the king (not Arthur Pendragon, Gwen doesn't marry the guy who killed her father) late in the first series. Estranged at the start, their relationship improves after Elyan returns to Camelot in s3.

Gwen starts off as Morgana Pendragon's maidservant, before becoming Queen Guinevere Pendragon later in the show. She's kind and brave, and she accepts shenanigans (two days after meeting someone: "oh you need a wheelbarrow? To move a dog statue up a flight of spiral stairs into your room off the physician's chambers? Sure, I'll help you"). She helps save multiple characters and smuggles a knight out from the dungeons under the nose of Morgana when she takes over and an immortal army, while still pretending to be loyal (okay, so Morgana technically lets her to bait a trap, but she doesn't know, so it counts). She's also the only character on the whole show to figure out Merlin's magic without being shown or told about it, and one of the first to discover Morgana's treachery because she's suspicious and investigates. She helps take down a witchfinder on the king's payroll, and can use a sword! And argues for other women to be able to fight! She's awesome! And she's still soft, and cares for people, including assisting the court physician (she has more medic skills than a lot of people seem to give her credit for). She also fits into the damsel in distress role multiple times. She's the daughter of a blacksmith and knows all about armour, and is very, very loyal.

And she becomes a queen! They cast a Black woman as Queen Guinevere! She gets to wear pretty dresses and she looks gorgeous in them (she looks gorgeous throughout but yk), and she has an important, strong role in her debut two-parter as queen.

Elyan's Gwen's brother. He leaves Camelot when he's a teenager and reunites with Gwen when they're both kidnapped by an enemy king as part of a trap. He's the son of a blacksmith, and has been a smith in the years he's out of Camelot. He reopens his father's forge when he returns to Camelot, in that episode, and although there's no timeline iirc, it can't be too long before he becomes a Knight of the Round Table instead. He's very loyal, loving of his family and friends, and although he's made mistakes in the past (leaving Gwen and his father and not returning voluntarily, not even when he found out Gwen was alone because their father was killed), he's making up for them. There's a nice (? not sure that's the right word but anyway) scene of them grieving together at their father's grave four series after his death and two after Elyan's return that shows that well (also some continuity, and them doing this despite all their duties to the kingdom is something I like, it shows the importance of family to them both).

They did them both so dirty in the last series though. They killed off Elyan (in the episode with that scene above, unfortunately) and it was in the first of a completely unnecessary three-episode storyline of her being enchanted, so there was a funeral but she didn't get to grieve and they never went back to it after the enchantment was removed, and they didn't really show any grief from anyone else either. The show just moved on. And sure they did that a lot but it's particularly aggrieving with Elyan because he's a knight of the round table, the queen's brother, the king's brother-in-law, they both grew up with the first knight, and they didn't pay enough care to it.

(this will be your surprised face when you find out I don't rewatch the last series)

ANYWAY. I love them both.

GWEN!!!! You have to understand she was the Original for me. The first time I'd ever seen a Black woman in a main role in one of those fantasy sorts of shows, where there are white people around her and everyone acts NORMAL about it. She belonged there!! So she holds such an important place in my heart and identity, even if I didn't even finish Merlin. Fuck anybody who says Black people don't belong in fantasy bc Gwen was there and she did it and I loved and needed that. And she's wearing the hell outta that dress 😤

Well I wanted to be excited about Elyan, bit of course he doesn't make it 🙄 I hate it when that happens, when a character dies and everyone's just like... All right! That's it! Especially if it's other Black person on the show, like wow thanks a lot. Well, we care about Elyan, even if I don't remember him 😤

#september challenge #post your favorite black characters!#creatingblackcharacters #black characters

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enm-enthusiast · 1 day

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Birthday Buzz

I want to give special thanks to @suitedwestend for helping me develop quite a few of the ideas and erotic turns of this story. Thanks for being such a great source of inspiration, and I hope to strip you naked in-person someday! ;)

Here's a short little ENM story for you all, I wanted to do a few side projects before ultimately returning to my main series, and hey, if this does well I may make it a separate ongoing series. I've always wanted to do a CYOA-style series, and I'd like to think this one would fit that roll, but lmk what you all think, and please, enjoy!

Mark

Mark and Adrian were happily married husbands who were both in their early-thirties, Mark was turning 33 today while Adrian was fast approaching 35 in just a few months. Mark was a tall, muscled bear with a bit of facial hair that he kept neatly groomed, had black hair and bright green eyes. His office clothes always clung on to him tightly because of his big, beefy frame yet he kept himself in good shape, especially his glutes as he had a magnificent bubble butt that sometimes earned him a leering stare or two at the office. Adrian however, was a shorter, lean otter with blonde hair and blue eyes.

They met in their early twenties at a gay bar and have been inseparable ever since, and got married five years ago, but occasionally they’ll ask a third to join them in the bedroom. That’s just the thing about these two, they’re Kinky with a capital K, into all sorts of scenes. A few in particular that the two had been trying out lately were ENM and Control Toys…

You see, big tough Mark had a shameful little secret…he was a total sub, and was often Adrian’s submissive slave, completely under his husband's control.

Nowadays, Adrian had been ‘forcing’ Mark to strip naked outside, even streak across their neighborhood at night sometimes, and sometimes threatened to shave off thick Mark’s body hair. As embarrassed and humiliated he often felt at being so exposed…it gave him such a hard-on, his uncut cock often swinging at full mast between his legs as he streaked.

This brings us to the couple’s latest adventure, however, because Adrian had bought his husband a remote control vibrator for his birthday today, and made him try it out right before Mark had to leave for work…He was almost late because of how lost he got in the pleasure of Adrian making him beg to make the toy buzz inside his ass.

Even now, at work, the mere memory of it made Mark feel a slight stirring in his crotch, which made his face flush red and he instinctively bowed his head closer to his desk to keep anyone from seeing his embarrassed, yet aroused state. Mark silently cursed however, as there was one problem with doing just that…the toy was still inside of him.

It was off, of course, but Adrian had ordered Mark to keep it inside him all day at work, and that he had better not cum before getting home in just a few hours now, promising to show his husband just how grateful he’d be if he did as he was told. Mark couldn’t help but feel a shiver down his spine as he remembered how his husband had leaned in close to his ear and whispered “good boy” right as he was heading out the door. Mark had almost got on his knees right there and then to beg for Adrians cock in either his mouth or his ass, but he managed to keep it together, after all, he had a party to attend at work.

His party, in fact, for everyone at the office had put together a small celebration for him during the last half hour of work today, and he knew they’d be devastated if he missed a second of it. Mark worked in a small office department, made up mostly of men except for management who were all on vacation for the next three days.

Mark just had one hour left now, he’d celebrate with the guys at the office then head straight back home to his husband, his cock began to throb to near full hardness in his tight office pants thinking about worshiping his husband's cock, maybe even stripping naked outside again?

Snap out of it! You're not 25 anymore, act like it! Mark said to himself, shaking off his arousal as best he could and finished up his closing paperwork.

As soon as he was done, he looked towards the office clock and saw that the party started in just a few minutes, and he smiled as he got up. Mark’s cock had finally deflated, though his pants still felt strangely tight, especially around his famous bubble butt, he merely shrugged it off, however, and he strutted towards the main office, fully confident he had everything under control…but did he?

Adrian

Adrian smiled to himself as he knew the party would be starting any minute now, and he looked away from his watch towards the remote of the toy he had made his husband keep inside him as he left for work this morning. Adrian knew and understood his husband often more than Mark did, and suspected, no he knew that Mark secretly enjoyed it whenever Adrian made him strip outside, or rather made him expose himself publicly. Thus, as he prepared to hit the switch for the remote, Adrian knew that his hubby would get his biggest thrill yet as he attempted to deal with the embarrassment of having a vibrating butt plug make him hard in front of his entire office!

Adrian’s own 6-inch penis began to harden in his pants at his husband's ordeal, and his smile never left his face as he turned on the remote, waited for it to connect to it over WiFi, and once the light turned green he pondered which setting to start at…

The remote had three settings: Low, Medium, and High. Adrian had only used the Medium setting this morning and it made Mark near delirious with how good it felt inside him…so he thought why not start small? his fingers didn’t hesitate to hit the Low setting button, and eagerly awaited his husbands return with the results.

Mark

Mark had been chatting with his office buddies, Jake and Bobby, when he nearly lurched over as he felt a familiar buzz coming from…

Oh no.

The buzzing didn’t stop either, it started as a low hum that was now rising to a sensual buzz, and it took everything Mark had to not moan as he felt his hole contract around the plug. His face began to redden and blood was flowing elsewhere too and Mark panicked as he could feel his cock hardening quickly.

“Hey Mark, everything okay?” Jake asked.

“Yeah, you were talking about you and Adrian possibly adopting kids in a few years, then suddenly you looked like you just saw your parents having sex or something” Bobby said.

Jake and Bobby were around the same age as Mark, and had known them since his freshman year in college, entering this office together, they were his best buds. As far as Mark knew, Jake was straight, but Bobby he knew was bi, they had a brief altercation in senior year when they were both drunk, and Bobby had sucked Mark’s cock, and Mark had even fucked Bobby. Neither of them spoke of that night again, yet Bobby still desired Mark from time to time, but kept it to himself because he knew Mark was married. If only he knew the opportunities before him…

“Oh…ummm. Yes! Yes i'm fine, I’m perfectly fine” Mark said, fumbling over his words as he used his hands to steady himself between two cubicles, as the buzzing from the toy continued to torment and pleasure him. He shifted his hips to try and hide his now raging hard-on, which was stretching his already tight pants to the limit. Mark should have asked his husband for some new office pants, but he liked how the tight clothing showed off his bubble butt…

He was certainly paying for it now, Mark thought to himself as his friends shared a concerned glance between each other.

“Are you sure you're okay man? I’ve never seen you like this before, if you're not feeling well we can take you home, so come on, just tell us what’s wrong” Bobby said. Mark’s friend was an average man who often went to the gym with his buddies, and was a tad darker with a caramel skin tone than the others yet had a defined physique, and was uncut just like Mark was. He had brown hair and hazel eyes, which were currently furrowed underneath his brow as he started worriedly at his friend.

“Guys, I’m telling you, I’m fine, okay?” Mark said, managing a steady, confident tone with a hint of finality to it that seemed to satisfy them…for now.

Meanwhile, Mark glanced at the clock and he still had another 15 minutes before he could leave, he downed the rest of his drink in one gulp and tried to compose himself as best he could. He could almost curse his husband for turning on the plug while Mark was at work, but…he couldn’t deny the pleasure and thrill he was getting from it. He was being toyed with like this, at his husband’s mercy…and no one had a clue, it made his dick throb even more and he stifled a groan as the pants were becoming unbearably tight.

He continued to chat with his friends and mingled with a few of the other guys from the office, they even brought out a small cake that they had bought for him, the plug was buzzing inside Mark the entire time they were singing the “Happy Birthday” song, and when he blew out the candles. He told no one what his wish was. (You’ll find out later ;) ).

Once they had finished eating their slices of cake, with only 10 minutes left, things were about to get much worse for poor Mark, as Adrian back home decided it was time to kick things up a notch, and hit the Medium Setting button on the remote.

Just then, Mark felt the plug inside his ass go from a low buzz to something that made him cry out with a loud “Ohhhhh” and he covered his mouth to try and stop himself but it was too late, he exchanged glances with both Jake and Bobby who were staring at him with abject confusion now.

Mark couldn’t find the words, he wanted to fall to his knees, strip off his tight pants, and make himself cum despite the presence of his best friends, the thought of it turned him on a little in fact..he cast his head down in absolute shame as he felt so utterly humiliated that he was being reduced to a wobbling, moaning mess all because of a little toy.

“Mark, seriously, you’ve been acting strange tonight, I’m starting to think you’re not telling us something, I know that look in your eyes, you’ve always been such a bad liar, so come on, spill it” Bobby said in a firm tone, and he said it so confidently that it turned Mark on a little as it reminded him of the way his husband often got him to spill whatever was bothering him.

As Mark tried to open his mouth and answer with a simple need to go to the bathroom, Adrian suddenly switched the plug up to its highest setting, while Mark had been attempting to pull out his phone and text his husband, to beg him to stop. The sudden jolt he felt as the toy's vibration tripled in intensity made Mark whimper and his cock was harder than it had ever been, as he dropped his phone, which slid between his legs and landed just a few feet behind him.

Jake and Bobby stared in disbelief at the display, and as Mark turned around and began to bend over to reach his phone, bending his knees slightly so his tall frame could reach the floor. Mark bit his lip to keep himself from constantly moaning, and swore he could hear the plug vibrating in his ass now. He was so distracted by the plug and his phone that he momentarily forgot how tight his pants were, and didn’t realize until it was too late that the fabric was giving way, it was too much, and he didn’t hear the little rips and tears right at the seat of his pants. As soon as he fully bent himself over Mark’s face went white as he heard and felt a resounding:

RIIIIIIIIIPPPPP

The back seat of his pants ripped open, and felt the open air of the office on his bare ass as he had poorly chosen to wear his bright pink jockstrap. Mark was momentarily frozen until he realized that Jake and Bobby were getting a full view of his accidental exposure. What was worse was that his jockstrap pouch was soft and silky, which made his dick feel that much more sensitive as it hardened in his pants. Once it was fully hard, however, his cock had practically pushed the material away, which made him feel like he was practically commando.

Thus, he felt the cold office air hitting his balls dangling between his legs, his cock too was swinging proudly which only heightened Mark’s humiliation.

As soon as he shook off his initial shock, Mark covered up his exposed bubble butt with one hand and stood right back up, his phone in hand, and slowly turned around. His face was crimson red as he faced his friends, who were staring at him with their mouths hanging open in complete shock, thought it seemed Jake found it a little amusing as he had a slight smirk on his face, but Bobby had a look of something else in his eyes, something Mark didn’t notice as he was too preoccupied with everything going on all at once, it was too much, he was so aroused…he needed to cum.

“I ummm…I need to go” Mark said before quickly running off towards the office bathrooms, and he didn’t even notice that there was only 1 minute left on the clock.

Mark ran, his hand still covering his exposed ass, and quickly reached the men's bathrooms and threw himself into the nearest open stall and locked himself in. Mark had never felt more embarrassed in his life, and he whipped out his phone to text his husband what had happened…

*Wow, you ripped your pants? Better take em off then*

Mark stared at the words Adrian had texted back for a few seconds before processing them fully. The plug was still vibrating but it went back down to Medium setting after Adrian had seen his text.

*Are you insane?!* Mark replied.

*Well, the way I see it, you can either walk out with a hole in your pants, or you can be a good boy and take them off…now* Adrian said.

Mark didn’t think it was a good idea, but…they were ripped. He pondered what to do as Bobby quietly entered the bathroom…He was intrigued as he had seen quite clearly what Mark had inside him when his pants had ripped, and had guessed that that was probably why he had been acting so strange, and he was eager to try and see more, so he made up an excuse to Jake that he was going to check on Mark while the others cleaned up and left. Bobby quietly crept up towards the stall, taking out his phone and setting his camera up to film in the crack between the stall door. He wanted to save this as potential jerk-off material for later…his dick hardened as he saw Mark inside, his heart thundered in his chest as his friend’s hands fumbled towards his belt.

Mark was too distracted to notice Bobby secretly filming him, the toy was still driving him crazy and he bit his lip again to try and suppress his moans even as his knees felt weak and his cock was eager for release. Mark continued to remove his pants, his hands unbuttoning the top and slowly lowering the zipper…he hesitated for a brief moment before he let them fall and pool around his legs, exposing his jockstrap, and Bobby had to cover his mouth as he finally saw Mark’s exposed cock and balls, not to mention his delicious looking bubble butt…

Mark pulled down his underwear too, slowly pulling his feet out from between them which officially left him half-naked…he wanted so badly to cum but he had to obey his husband…didn’t he?

Maybe he could just stroke himself a little, relieve some of the pressure, no harm in that, right? God the toy felt so good inside him, he NEEDED this. He positively whimpered and moaned as he slowly wrapped a hand around his thick, pulsing shaft and started to slowly stroke himself. Bobby watched intently, his phone recording everything and his dick was fully hard in his pants as he watched his best friend jerk off.

Suddenly, Bobby looked down at Mark’s discarded clothes, and a wicked idea popped into his head, and he smirked as he reached underneath the stall and grabbed Mark’s ripped pants, jockstrap, even his shoes and socks. Mark didn’t seem to notice, his eyes were closed as he became lost in the pleasure, he was already getting close, he needed to stop.

But he couldn’t, it felt too good, he needed to cum, and he needed to cum now, all thoughts of Adrian’s command were muffled between his desperate need for release and his sheer state of arousal from tonight's events. Luckily for Mark, Bobby decided the time was now as he stopped recording and loudly cleared his throat as he leaned against the bathroom stall door.

“Wow, sounds like a real party in there” Bobby said, smirking to himself as he had hidden Mark’s clothes in the bathroom supply closet.

Mark quickly snapped out of his jerk-off session and covered his crotch with his hands. “B-bobby? What are you doing in here...wait…where are my clothes?!” Bobby said, his voice both full of fear and anger as he knew Bobby had taken them, he felt so embarrassed at how he had failed to notice any of it.

“Oh, don’t worry about them, I hid them somewhere safe, I just thought that considering everything that happened…maybe you’d like to celebrate today by going out in your birthday suit” Bobby said.

“What?! No way Bobby, come on, stop kidding around and just give me my clothes back…please?” Mark said.

“Hmmm, no, I think I prefer you this way, I’m sure Adrian would agree that that thick butt of yours is too magnificent to keep confined in those poor, tight dress pants. I also think you’d enjoy going home fully nude, so you better strip off the shirt and tie soon, before the cleaning guys show up” Bobby said, tauntingly.

Mark was dumbfounded at this turn of events, he could either refuse and he’d be stuck here with a butt plug still going off in his ass, or he could strip fully naked and get out of here now…what kind of choice was that??? Mark thought to himself, but his hands seemed to have a will of their own, as after a moment's hesitation they reached up towards his tie, loosening the knot and unbuttoning the top buttons of his long sleeve dress shirt. Deep down he knew he had no choice…he had to get out of here, he had to get home.

Mark did his best to resist how good the plug felt inside him, and how badly he still wanted to cum, he focused singularly on giving Bobby what he wanted, and he handed over his tie as he began to strip off his shirt, exposing his furry, muscled chest and he refused to meet Bobby’s eyes as he handed over his last item of clothing, leaving him fully naked. His face bled a deep, beet red as Bobby opened the door and whistled as he gazed at his friend butt naked.

“Better get going, and don’t worry, everyone else has left” Bobby said, standing off to the side to let Mark leave.

Mark practically bolted out, his phone and wallet in hand, yet as he sped by, Bobby was quick enough to quickly grab a chunk of his right ass cheek and squeeze, which made Mark yelp but also whimpered a little as his dick twitched at the contact.

“Have a nice drive home, birthday boy” Bobby said, winking at Mark resumed his exit from the bathroom.

Bobby was true to his word, everyone else left, yet Mark still covered his crotch as he sped out of the office towards the parking lot, and sighed in relief as he checked that he also still had his keys. He stood out in the cold, open night air fully in the nude, and he couldn’t deny how good it felt to be running around completely naked. As for the plug, it seemed Adrian had had his fun, as it either died or turned off as soon as Mark hopped into his car.

Adrian was waiting on the couch when Mark finally returned home, he heard the jangle of his husband's keys and he smiled as he turned his head to welcome his husband home, and was greeted with the sight of his husband without any clothes on.

“Whoa! I told you to take off your pants, not all your clothes…what happened to you?” Adrian said, intrigued, amused, and even a little turned on.

Mark took a deep breath as he moved to join his husband on the couch, the plug still inside his hole, and as he wrapped an arm around Adrian’s shoulder he finally exhaled and said: “It’s a long story.”

The End.

#enm #cmnm #gay #embarassing #enm stripped humiliation #enm story

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lyrisnightblood · 2 days

Text

Dear "lovely" "canon Jiang Cheng Stans",

I see what you're doing here. I can see y'all talk about "book meta" and "writing Jiang Cheng as canonically accurate" and you know what?

Y'all are doing a fantastic job, keep it up 😍🎉

Yeah really! I mean it!

Y'all are doing a fantastic job showcasing just how utterly pathetic y'all are, how chronically online y'all are, and most importantly, y'all are doing a marvellous job showcasing your hate boner for a fictional character you claim to hate and is an "antagonist".

Keep up the lovely work y'all, show the world how you lack an ounce of reading comprehension, you booktok obsessed peeps!

And while you're at it, let me go spittin' facts, straight from the book.

Jiang Yanli is dead. End of the story. You can fantasize to your heart's content about how "she'll react to JC raising her son" and get your pants in a twist about all the bad things she'll supposedly say, but that's just it. You can only imagine it.

You know why?

Hmm idk cos she's fucking dead and no one knows what the dead wants?

This is exactly like "Don't do this your mother wouldn't have wanted this of you" "don't talk like you know my mother she's dead and i don't know what she wanted cos she's dead"

Well

I should've expected such callous behaviour from antis 🤷

Admit it, y'all wanted Wei Wuxian to raise Jin Ling huh? C'mon, don't be shy🥰 you can say that

Except your fave never could've raised Jin Ling cos 1) as if the Jin Sect would let their Sect heir be raised by the jianghu's most wanted person (Gasp, "wEi wUxIaN sLaNdEr" love check your books even wwx acknowledges that fact lolll) and 2) how tf could a dead man, no less a man who's soul got ripped into shards, take care of a baby?

"but Jin Guangyao was a better parental figure, and an actual parent"

Yeah, a parent who killed his own child cos he was worried about his reputation (I can already smell y'all coming at me to defend him like chill, I only said the truth, and yes, man was more worried about people knowing he married his sister and losing position than the life of his own son, just because he loved Rusong didn't change the fact that he was ready to go to the extreme). Not to mention how Jin Guangyao held a string to his own nephew's neck and threatened to kill him to save his skin while it was Jiang Cheng who begged him to let Jin Ling go

Betcha Jiang Yanli's ghost is watching the scene while sipping tea and praising Jin Guangyao huh

"but one of Jin Zixuan's cousin-"

Jin Zixun is dead. And is a truly despicable person. Or did you forget how he insulted Wei Wuxian left and right?

Oh wait. Of course you forgot, "criticizing" Jiang Cheng takes precedence! My bad, i should've known!

Let me stop y'all before you say "Jin Guangshan". You must be the utterly worst person in the planet to want a known womanizer and child abuser and rapist to raise a child. IDC Jin Guangshan is related to Jin Ling. Y'all just want a known abuser and sexual predator to raise Jin Ling just say you don't give two cents about the poor boy except when you want to hate on Jiang Cheng 🙄

"what about Jin Furen"

Yeah what about her? Or did you forget how she canonically had a role to play in Jin Ling's upbringing?

Who do you think is responsible for Jin Ling spending half a year in Lotus Pier? Certainly not Jin Guangyao!

If there was one person in the Jin Sect who could have enough sway to ensure that her own grandson is spending a significant amount of time in another sect, it's Jin Furen.

Three guesses why she did that?

Lol you actually thought I'd wait for your guess? LMFAOOOOO you're so cute 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

She did that because Jin Furen cared for A-Li and - wait for it - A-Cheng!!!

Reread the books if you missed it, mmkay?

She was fond of Yu Ziyuan, and by extension her children, and post-SSC, she offered to support both of them on multiple occasions (which they declined because any political support from Jin Sect would've come with strings attached cos JGS😑)

Establishing the fact that Jin Furen cared for Jiang Cheng, she had agreed to Jin Ling spending half his time in Lotus Pier because she sensed that he was all Jiang Cheng had left, and vice versa.

Y'all also have utterly forgotten about the cruel way Jin Ling's paternal cousins have bullied him for being an orphan. Like, Koi Tower is supposed to be his home, and he was bullied to the point where Lotus Pier became his sanctuary.

"AHA! GOTCHA! QIN SU SHOULD'VE RAISED HIM!"

Laughing My Fricking Ass Off TM

My man Qin Su was RIGHT THERE! No one was stopping her from raising Jin Ling! She could've been the maternal figure Jin Ling needed! And no one would have questioned it, it was actually expected for that timeline.

Except.... Did she? Did she do anything to make Jin Ling feel loved? Has Jin Ling ever talked about his aunt the same way he talks about his uncles? Apart from the respect that he gives to her as his paternal uncle's wife, does Jin Ling refer to her fondly? Even once?

"Alright, your point?"

Why thank you for asking 💗😌

My point is that Jiang Cheng is canonically the best guardian for Jin Ling, and this conclusion comes AFTER analysing every other candidate.

And you know what?

I am absolutely right🎉💗🌸😻

Evidence?

Exhibit A: Jiang Cheng accompanying Jin Ling's nighthunt to look out for him but also keeps himself at a distance so that Jin Ling actually participates in the nighthunt

Exhibit B: Letting Fairy enter Lotus Pier despite the strict dog ban (which he had adhered to even after wwx died)

Exhibit C: Jin Ling never once flinches or looks scared when Jiang Cheng shows his temper and says "I'll break your legs", he knows his jiujiu is all bark but would never hurt him

Exhibit D: "how dare you hit me? Even my jiujiu had never hit me!" - Jin Ling to Wei Wuxian (who btw oh so casually hits Jin Ling as if it's a normal thing to hit a child💀)

Exhibit E: "A-Ling! Who made you cry?" - Jiang Cheng when he saw a crying Jin Ling. No admonishment. No Judgement. And certainly no anger directed at Jin Ling.

Exhibit F: Jin Ling being unafraid to cry in front of his jiujiu, he knows he won't be judged.

Exhibit G: Jiang Cheng saving Jin Ling on multiple occasions.

Exhibit H: Jiang Cheng begging Jin Guangyao to take him hostage and release Jin Ling, without hesitation, despite his spiritual energy being locked and being stabbed in the chest.

I could go on and on and on but unlike you lovely people who have no hobby other than slandering Jiang Cheng, I have TONS.

And also a life.

So, go fantasize about your Jiang Cheng hate boner elsewhere. I see your pathetic attempt at taking over the Canon Jiang Cheng tag and it ain't working.

Ciao 🤟

#canon jiang cheng #canon jc #jiang cheng #jiang wanyin #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mdzs jiang cheng #jiang yanli #jin ling #jin ling and his jiujiu #once again #congratulations antis for lacking reading comprehension #go back to booktok fr

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